Oh man thank you for doing this video. I've had a singular memory that I've been hung up on for 2 years now. Something from 20 some years ago. I've had OCD long enough to know it was OCD, but I wasnt sure what the subtype or category was so I felt a bit lost on how to self treat it. I just knew that ruminating and googling was making it worse so I stopped that. Its way better now than it was a year ago but it still pops up. Thank you for the video I at least know is going on now :)
@@MAMP I'm so glad you've been able to find what's happening. I hope you can find some relief. I would look at iocdf.org to see if you can find someone. 👍🏻
Thank you so much for this, I would love to say what is eating away at me but my OCD prevents me from sharing it with anyone else but close family members. I’m so scared
Funny article from the Lancet basically tell providers to let ocd sufferers know that wash your hands more often is not helpful...🤣🤣 www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366(20)30222-4/fulltext
@@chidera2551 Hi! I'm definitely a bit better. I still got the OCD, but I'm learning to cope with it a bit better every day. Some days I get a bit of a backlash, but I know that it's temporary and that I will always recover. And I'm sure that over time, you'll learn the same. My recommendation: Seek professional help. Find someone who is specialised in OCD and knows how to help you. I'm currently doing the same and I'm learning more than I ever could've on my own.
not gonna lie, i cry anytime i watch your videos because i always feel like i'm going crazy or i'm the only person dealing with this, but you describe things as if you're reading my mind. this type of ocd has been the hardest for me to deal with because i'm reminded of things i have actually done and i am convinced that i am an awful person. i've had many times where i was ruminating all day, and anytime i felt happy, i would think to myself "why are you happy... are you just unbothered by how awful of a person you are." sometimes i even convince myself that i don't even feel bad about these mistakes and i'll probably do them again. your videos have been a tremendous help to me and i cannot thank you enough! p.s. while watching this i kept thinking, "this doesn't apply to you, your mistakes are much worse than everybody else's"... ocd is an ongoing struggle 😪
Yea it never ceases to amaze me that there are others (like you) out there that have my problem. It seems like it’s even gotten worse during Covid but I also feel like I don’t deserve happiness. Many times I’ll be having a good time just until my ocd reminds me “hey you’re having a good time, remember what that person said about the religion you put down? He would be more satisfied if you suffered because you stopped practicing that religion!” And bang my good time turns around and then I get pissed, anxious and ultimately sad. Sorry for venting:-) My therapy helps a bit and in the past I’ve done ERP but it didn’t seem to work for me because mine is scrupulosity, which means the uncertainty’s essentially infinite...but I still have hope and I’m hoping you are also seeking avenues to help.
@@renakmans3521 i know exactly what you're talking about, sometimes all it takes is a single intrusive thought to completely change your mood. also, i know the feeling of constant uncertainty and it sucks, but you have to learn to accept the uncertainty. accepting uncertainty is reallllly hard, but with time and practice, it gets easier. i think the main point of ERP is not to seek certainty, but to learn to deal with the uncertainty without doing your compulsions. keep fighting ocd and always try to keep a positive mindset. 👍
Sal Jeez, that’s exactly what I hear in my “other” brain. It’s like the ocd now is not about anything specific but an overall “I did something that makes me undeserving”. And then to try to get yourself out of that feeling is the hard part because you’re not supposed to do compulsions. Hearing both your stories and others just gives me hope because it just confirms it’s all ocd, also the fact that I don’t know what you “did” or you don’t know what I did to “deserve” that feeling shows us that it’s not the content but ocd itself. I’m rooting for you both (and myself:-) much love...
Couldn’t have described it better! These thoughts just make things seem soooo much worse than they actually are and continuously tell you your a bad person!!
How many of you feel that the Cancel Culture has somewhat acted as a trigger and a major thing to speculate for any person suffering from real event OCD. And this in the last 5 years in the world is all time high untill the pandemic hit us.
I absolutely agree with you. The rise of social media and cancel culture has really cause my symptoms.to worsen over time and eventually came to a place where I needed help.
100% with you. I've done things that, by the cancel culture, they're unacceptable. I make amends with the people I offended, some others things I just can't repair. But the constant judgement of the cancel culture is what makes my symptoms worse and worse every day. I was a worse person back then, now I opted for being the difference and stop being the piece of crap that I used to be.
Yes. A million percent. We are seeing a lot of it in the world right now and it pushes us OCD sufferers over the edge. But we must remember that noone is perfect including those who are righteous. And if they think they are perfect well that's another problem. We are all shades of imperfection in different areas and I used to beat myself up thinking I didn't deserve happiness or love anymore if I thought I had somehow crossed the line to unforgivable. Then I realized everyone is just doing the best they can in any given moment. Only when you have truly been in anothers footsteps (which we can't really) can we totally understand and forgive why people did what they did. It's like why does a bully hurt someone, because they are hurt themselves. I believe everything happens due to cause and effect so whenever a person acts badly there is a reason. When we are babies our brains literally are molded by how we are nurtured and raised. If a baby doesn't get enough love their brain literally won't develop properly. Hence sometimes we see people in the world who do very bad things, but I feel, that stemmed from somewhere, and if it stemmed from some kind of trauma, how can I hate them? I can hate the action and the sin but not the sinner. We are not our actions or our thoughts. Xxx
So did I just now. I totally lost it listening. I cried and still crying. I feel so alone . Ive been doing this my whole life and im at the end of myself now. I know what’s wrong with me now.
The hardest part is when your brain tells you that you don’t deserve inner peace because what happened must be SO bad that you’re practically beyond the Pale. It feels so hopeless.
@@prismatic1239Much better. I’ve been with NOCD since last October and the ERP therapy really works. The thoughts never go away fully, and they ebb and flow in intensity, but I’m able to live with them and keep going forward. Thanks for checking in.
This is so tiring. Theme after theme. Pain, guilt, overwhelming anxiety. I've made so so many mistakes in my teen years. Mainly sexual. I really can't comprehend why I did those things, it's so against me as a person now. Before I was this bad those things still bothered me but no where near to this extreme. I wish I could restart life and erase all of this. I've wasted so many opportunities in life and I've only worsened myself. I'm constantly going over and over every little detail with everything that's happened. I'm so scared of being like this forever and letting my family down. I want to just feel love and happiness. I'd hate for anyone else to deal with this no matter who they are or what they've done. I can't ever see myself being happy, comfortable or living life how I want to. It's so much to deal with I'm literally just existing at this point. I feel like if I ever did get over this somehow I'd still have people trying to ruin my life and remind me of my mistakes and dragging me back down. Or being triggered and OCD grabbing and pulling me into that hole again and I'll never get out of it. There's so much going on in my mind I can't concentrate or just deal with life. I just want to be seen as a good person and not for what I've done. So fearful of judgement and not being perfect or fitting in with other people's ethics etc. Sorry for rambling I just felt I had to type this, which is probably a compulsion. I hope everyone dealing with this gets to break free eventually, do the things they want to do, live the life they want to live and gets a chance to finally be the person they want to be.
I am going through the same exact thing!!!! Sexual decisions I made as a teen haunts me now as an adult. Like you said I stand for the exact opposite now!
I wouldn’t wish this pain on anybody… it is debilitating, unbearable, and unlivable. It is actually hell and a prison in your mind. I just found out I have this type of OCD and it’s crazy that I’m not alone. I’m starting treatment and I think this time I’m going to climb out of this hole I’ve been sinking into for years. I pray for you all to find peace and self love soon. You all deserve it, and one action doesn’t define who you are. We all make mistakes and deserve a chance at a better, healthier life. God bless you all and thank you for the video.
I think to myself at least I only made those sexual mistakes when I was a child, and that helps for a while. Then I start to feel really guilty again about those events, and it starts all over again. I end up sleeping during the day, not going out of the house, and not eating or drinking properly. I have been diagnosed with OCD, and depression. My brother, and sister know about everything, and they have been absolutely marvelous. I am truly blessed to have them in my life. Thank you for this video.
Yep I’m going through this. There’s two childhood mistakes I made that I didn’t realize was as horrible. Now that I’m more consenting and know what’s right and wrong I can recognize that it’s sooo wrong. I recognize that it happened and I can’t change it but it also makes me fear my future. I get intrusive thoughts like “what if I do it again?” Knowing dang well I would never ever want to do that again. Another thought is “what if I’m really like that?” Ugh it sucks. I feel like i deserve no love at all for the things I committed as a child. Now I’m 17 and dealing with this. I hate myself so much. I’m tired I just want out now.
So sorry to here that:(, but I can relate I’m going through the same thing as you are it’s really hard in times. We can and will get over this. I’ve been battling a lot and if I could go back I wish I could fix what I did, but it’s okay. We are all humans and we are not perfect we all make mistakes. You are in my prayers.
Hello dear,im going through the same since the pandemic started..as i can remember it started in 2020 april in my case. Since then i have forgotten what it feels like to be alive.I cant even share this with anyone. I've lost a lot of weight and my physical condition has also worsened. I send prayers for everyone who is going through this and all the pain that I've been through in the past was heaven compared to this
@@paramore4ever575 I’m feeling awful right now. But it’s a good idea to focus on something because it helps so much. When you feel guilt and ocd it feels like a rock on your chest and you feel as if you can’t breathe but trust me we’re gonna be ok.
@@hossainimran6764 I’m sorry to hear that. Mine started in Oct of 2020. I told my mother what I have done as a child so that was somewhat of a weight lifted off but I do dwell on it too much. If u can I encourage to tell someone u absolutely trust? That might be a stepping stone to getting better. It did for me a bit at least. Even if you think it’s so terrible I encourage u. Trust me what I did was terrible as a child but I’m hoping I can somehow put behind me. You’re gonna be okay I’ll keep u in prayer
I feel really bad about the things I did as a teenager. Some people say it was fine cause I was a stupid teenager, and didn't realize what I was doing, but I still feel awful about it and wish I never did it.
i’m the same. i’m still young but oh my god my actions over the past i’d say 4 years were awful and i wish i had done things differently. just remember your not alone and everyone makes mistakes and does stupid things while were young, so we learn not to make them when were older!! 💖💖
@@harryogrady1716 I do too. I think it's okay to admit to yourself that you don't have to aay you didn't know better; just be honest with yourself. Tell yourself that you knew you shouldn't have done that thing, and own it be better the next time something like that happens.
For me it was when I was a 5-7 years old and I didn’t know what I was doing at the time but what kills me is that I may have caused someone trauma and I will never get over this.. Ever... I know i’m not that person 10 years ago but I wish I can go back and I wish I can apologize to the people I may have hurt but I haven’t seen them in years and I don’t know if they remember or not... I can’t fix this... I can’t help them and be there for them support... I can’t do nothing... Everything bad thing that happens to me, I deserve it.
This OCD subtype is the final boss of my OCD. It has been by far the hardest one to deal with. I will be diligent in ERP soon. One of the most frustrating things is how it convinces you it's not OCD.
Agree 100% It's a beast of a mental illness. Makes me wish for other forms of ocd to replace it. Makes me wish for any other type of suffering to replace it
"Your mind tells you that the guilt you are feeling is 100% real... You can easily convince yourself that what you are experiencing is normal and how you're reacting is actually how you should be reacting." Hearing another person describe exactly what goes through my mind has brought me an enormous amount of relief.
I struggle with this a lot with my past mistakes from 7-8 years ago that could really hurt people and cause them to lose trust in me if they knew what I’ve done. It’s so hard because i always worry that they’ll find out one day and hate me. I think about my mistakes everyday and sometimes it makes me so overwhelmed that I can’t focus on anything else.
@@mjs8621 i'm not a professional or a psychologist or anything like that, but i deal with the same thing and hopefully you'll find my advice helpful... first of all, it's not right to judge somebody by mistakes they made that long ago... 8 years is a really long time. people change a whole lot over the coarse of 8 years. even if you made the mistake yesterday, it's wrong for somebody to assume that you're okay with what you did or that you didn't learn from those mistakes. we're all human... we live and we learn, we all make mistakes. second of all, i know it sucks, but accepting uncertainty is crucial to finding success in overcoming ocd/anxiety. there will always be the possibility of people finding out about your mistakes, but you cannot continue wasting your time worrying about these things. obviously it's much easier said than done, but with practice, you can find success. i also have days where i can't think about anything other than the mistakes i've made or how i'm "such a messed up person," but i try to remind myself that i have a life to live and can't keep wasting my time worrying about these things. i've done some pretty bad things and i spend a lot of time wishing i had done differently, but i can't go back and change things, so i must move on.
I struggle with the same things. But mine is things I did 20 plus years ago. Didn’t bother me up until a few years ago. I wish I could tell you how to overcome it cause it sucks bad but I have not found the path myself. Good luck to you I wish you all the best!
Thank you for posting this. I have been tortured by memories for years. It feels like there's no hope for me and I just want to give up. Not a day goes by when I'm not tortured by it. Shame is all I feel.
I agree, it's being trapped in your mind of things you can't fix and it destroys any chance of enjoying that day or that moment. The Insomnia! Oh my Goodness, it just ruins every part of my life. My "joy" doesn't exist. I'm so sorry, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy (which seems to be myself)
I've been through this, and it IS unbearable. I would say hellish. No escape and no exoneration. The awful thought that you will have to live with this guilt for the rest of your life. It is so important to be armed with the knowledge that this is OCD, not knowledge I always have had. I just didn't understand why this 'thing' was coming up again out of nowhere! Even when I subsequently realised I might have OCD, I didn't know about 'real event OCD'. This is so important to know. It is still OCD. In the depths of anxiety I did not know what to do, but spoke /confessed to my counsellor. At that time I didn't know I had OCD and he wasn't an OCD specialist but it helped me get through. In general, I think the delay tactic works for me. I try to say, 'I'm not sure if this is OCD or not, so I'm not going to think or do anything about it for at least a week. I'm not gpoing to do anything in response to my fear. If my fear goes and I can think clearly about it then I'll see'. Thank you so much for this video. Knowledge is power.
Thanks for being vunerable and sharing your experience. It sounds so awful! I'm so happy you shared with your therapist. There really can be freedom from burdens and anxiety. 😃
This Is probably the worst type of OCD in my experience, im the type of person that wont forgive itself. But lets cheer up for a moment, all of us have done things that we wish we didnt do. But we are good people, we know more that anyone else that maybe It wasnt the best desicion but we are here now. We can improve, we can be better. The thoughest part of all Is to forgive ourselves, you can do it ❤
This along with POCD and False Memory OCD is hard. While i'm calm down now, it still freaks me out. I felt like i was losing and almost gave up. But you helped me out and my mom and grandma have helped me as well. While there are times i get mild triggers, I just ignore and it keep doing what i love doing and that's working out at the gym, playing video games, watch movies and tv shows, and reading books and comics.
I think that my real event ocd is mixing and twisting things with “false memory ocd”. I’m looking really hard into my past(my childhood) and I feel like I’m making up memories. Ugh. The struggle.
For me, real event ocd is intertwined with relationship ocd. I obsess over many things I’ve done in the past, even 5 or 6 years ago, mostly related to cheating. Although I’ve never overtly cheated on my boyfriend, I mentally review every situation where I thought of another guy, sought attention, spoke to or texted another guy, etc. and use these as examples that I’m a bad a girlfriend. It’s not a single event, but many small events that I obsess over and confess to my boyfriend about. I’ve gotten better at not confessing as much, but it’s still very hard for me not to mentally review. Rumination has been the hardest part of ocd to overcome
I have exactly the same thing, I keep confessing all the little things you described to my bf, i am ruining my relationship, how did you deal with it??
Same girl . For me even small look at some attractive person makes me guilty when I am so jealous of my bf . I was so obsessed to the point my brain would make me feel like a cheater or giving me urges like I wanted to speak to the person I thought attractive and I was afraid to act on it tho never did . And then felt guilty for even thinking that .
@@anastasiaboursanidou9122 let go, redirect focus ! Or when I am in a bad moment like obsessing too much I try to tell myslef if I really did like or want anyone else it would feel different . Not anxious not obsessing I would not push them away but I would rather enjoy it and go for it but I don’t and I tell myslef if thoughts makes me so guilty and uncomfortable and obsessing then it’s ocd and not me even when I am in backdoorspike. Which then I feel like fake but still let go !
I'm really relieved to hear you say that you experience this as well although I am so sorry that you have been going through this bc I know how hard it is... I am in the exact same place. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for this! Real event OCD is what started it all and I was so fearful to seek help. It was so debilitating I wouldn’t allow myself to enjoy things like working out, flowers in certain colors, or certain foods, music, because it was all somehow “evidence” and triggers that I was a bad person. Sometimes I would even catch myself being happy and I felt so much guilt about it because I didn’t think I deserved to be any amount of happy. It’s so wonderful you have this video out here so maybe people can get help sooner.
This is my problem with reql event OCD. The memories I have I did them. They are real. The pure shame and guilt I feel is overwhelming. I confess to people all the time. I dont get how it's not an issue. Although I did learn from it I cant deal with what I did. Its like a gnawing at me from everyday. Thank you for the video
I watch this video and I am like "yes, so many of these things ring true to me" and then I leave the video and am immediately in doubt of myself and my perceptions. it is such a spiral. like I can't even talk about it because it is all so uncertain. like it is literally such a tangle of thoughts.
Can’t agree more it’s so painful because didn’t even know this ocd was true.I don’t even know what’s real I have questions rummaging around in my head including whether I’m lying to myself.
Totally!!! The uncertainty is what amplifies the overwhelmingness, and what fuels the OCD thoughts itself. It is like there is a constant manipulator in my brain. It is working like a machine (without getting any tired) to make me believe that my OCD thought path is how I'm supposed to think. If I try any other way to think, it accuses me of hypocrisy. It is a crazy bully, who tries so hard to make me believe that I'll stay evil. This is why I struggle so bad to move past it.
Do you ever just think about it and everything and get confused? I feel like I do exactly what you commented. I’ll watch a video like this, then go “I do a lot of these things”, click off, think about it again or later on in the day and tell myself “nah I’m just stressed out right now, nothing is really wrong with me”. It’s gotten so bad I can’t even tell what to think anymore.
This video is so helpful. I'd never heard of real event OCD until a couple of weeks ago, but it sounds exactly like what I'm dealing with this year. Oddly enough, it was surprising to me to discover that there's a name for it, and that others are going through it too. I assumed that the guilty feelings meant I was actually guilty of being a horrible person. But now I know that my feelings are based in anxiety, rather than reality. Simply knowing that fact doesn't make the feelings go away, and it's still hard to get through the day when my brain keeps reminding me of all the stupid things I've done and said. My mind tells me that my mistakes are an exception and somehow worse than other "normal" people's mistakes. But I feel less alone now and am thankful for all the comments where people are open about their struggles.
I didn't know this was a category of OCD. I was recently diagnosed (I have primarily cognitive OCD and ROCD) but, while I could recognize my thoughts in those "modes" were irrational, obsessing over bad or questionable things I did in the past seemed like a rational thing to do because they were REAL. I HAVE to figure out what I did wrong or why I did it or whether it was as bad as I thought if there's some way to rectify it. I get into modes where I won't take care of my own body because I "deserve" to suffer, as though not eating is a perfectly logical penance for saying something mean to boyfriend. One time. Years ago. It's nice to know that this is a part of my OCD so I can work on disrupting the cycle.
This is really well described and how I feel. I’m 48 and think of stuff from a long time ago. Yesterday I confided in a good friend about what it was, he was ok with it but now part of me regrets telling him, not because I don’t trust him but because I don’t want him to view me in a different way, I feel slightly paranoid now that I’ve told him and anxious
I understand you completely. I have a real event ocd of something that I did when I was a teen. I came really close to telling my cousin about it today, but thankfully I didn’t. I would love to speak to you to see how you’re coping. I’m really struggling
The paranoia is the worst! Do you ever think that people can read your mind? ( I know people can't, just to clarify) but say you thought a bad thought about somebody, and then you start to worry that they heard you. And you replay it over and over again?
@@ElizabethGonzalez-jt7nsIt’s one year since my first comment and I’m struggling worse. It came back in December and I made things worse by talking about it with people and catastrophising
I’ve struggled with this particular obsession and other much more distressing topics for the last ten years and the way you discuss them is extremely thorough and validating. I wish I felt as seen by my past therapists as I do with these videos.
This is really well presented and good for early sufferers. My real event OCD came about from initially having depression/anxiety, which morphed into a real event OCD situation (vicious circle of OCD and depression). The real event thought is still there but I can put it to one side now. Takes time but things do get better. X
13:27 it scared me how much this resonated with me. I stopped doing a lot of things I used to enjoy simply because I feel I don’t deserve to enjoy them. I’ve gotten to the point that I can’t take this type of ocd anymore, from the moment I wake up till the moment if all asleep for the past 6 months I have thought about this mistake, I just can’t with it
In my opinion, self righteous people who judge others harshly are a part of the problem.People act in a way that supports the idea that if you did something bad,you should suffer for this and you are a scumbag.And then they preach about “growth”.We are human,we are capable of making mistakes,to mess up,but also to learn from this.I refuse to be an unforgiving person.
Hi, thank you so much for posting this. I hadn’t heard of this OCD before and this is exactly my OCD. mixed in with false memory I think. I exaggerate the things that happened or convince myself things happened / things didn’t happen. It has hands down ruined my life. Thank you so much for making this video
As a person who thinks that I have some or a little OCD I can relate with most of the videos you/he say(s) that is OCD. So, thank you for warning people, and correcting wrong videos, or articles. Thank you for helping people understand OCD, and be warned if they do have it.
Having watched your video, I realize that I struggle with real life OCD. I made a big mistake forty years ago and this has come up suddenly. I was very shocked and that memory triggered another intrusive thought that turned into another OCD. And the real life event OCD and the other OCD keep eachother going, they trigger eachother and I keep going round in circles. Your video was very helpful to me because I didn't know, that there is such a thing as Real Life OCD. Hearing this now brings a lot of relief because now I know, what is going on. I always feel education is a big help in dealing with these issues. Thank you for your videos! I am a fan of yours, your imputs are short and sharp and so helpful!
I struggle with this bad, especially after I quit drinking. Im very thankful for these videos. I didnt even realize this was tied to my ocd and these have helped me as i continue working through the horroble regrets, cringe, dread of facing who i have been.
Thank you so much for the video!) I have this type of OCD and it is so torturing... I find that ruminating and googling make this worse, because while trying to figure out all the detail of the event I’ve obsess about, I can add false details in this event. So, real event OCD mixes with false memory and this makes it much worse.
My therapist tells me all this to me all the time because I have this issue.. I read forums.. Search up things pertaining to my mistakes find ways to remember. I even thought about getting a therapist who could make me see the past.. Asked questions on quora... Searching up forgiveness using my work as a distraction and I’m so tired of it. I’m extremely tired of it. I even tried to repent and pray but I felt like I didn’t deserve his forgiveness either. Now i’m in a loop...
@@luvforever-kp1hm Don’t give up, you can get rid of OCD. I’ve almost recovered from this type of OCD - intrusive thoughts come back sometimes, but they are not so intensive and don’t stay in my mind for a long time if I ignore them. So I believe I can cope with this. You can too😉
@K1r4nn82 You should realise the compulsions you do and stop doing them. For example my main compulsion was confession - I told about my mistakes to my mother and sometimes to my dad. Another compulsions were searching in Internet, analyzing all the details and so on... As for me, agreeing with the thoughts can be helpful if you do it sarcastically. Also I find accountability method very helpful - write the amount of time you ruminate and the amount of compulsions you do and try to decrease the quantity - do it every 3 hours. You can listen about this method on the channel of Ali Greymond. Step by step your mind will relax.
I have searched the web high and low about self forgiveness, you are not your past, and so on.. Anthony this is the first video I have seen that describes me to a tee. I was laughing when you listed off what a person suffering with this might go through because i checked every mark. I’m glad I have a label for this crippling guilt rumination, and anxiety. Thank you. This has drained the color out of too many years.
Every time I watch this video I'm like "how did you get in my brain?" It's so strange how many people experience the same thing and find it hard to move on. I've been suffering this particular subtype since 2020 and it's still there sometimes even though it goes away and I feel normal for a while.
This was just what I needed to see right now. I've had OCD my whole life and have all the stressful obsessions (ie, the taboo/ego dystonic ones) but the one I've been struggling with the most is a real event obsession about something from 7 years ago. I'm still getting thoughts about it daily and it has been causing me immense frustration, even giving me suicidal thoughts because I know how ridiculous it is and just want it to stop. This vid made me realize that I need to shift the way I look at it and focus on the guilt/shameful feelings that I'm having.
I genuinely wouldn’t wish ocd upon my worst enemy . It has taken so many things from me . You’ve really helped me , you’re very helpful . You actually helped me find out that I could have ocd
I've done some bad things in my life, of course nothing straight up evil, but i've definitely done some very not so good things back in the day. While I don't have extreme RE OCD, it pops up especially with another OCD that i'm experiencing (I won't name since i'm not comfy naming it yet). I hated my past self and I want to be a good person, but whenever this stuff pops up I feel so much shame and guilt and disgust towards my current self. Thank you for this video man, you make my OCD so much more bearable.
Watching this makes me want to cry because it's exactly what I'm going through and I knew I have ocd but didn't know that real event ocd was a thing. It fits what I'm going through perfectly. I confess EVERYTHING to my partner and I'm always exhausted from it. Thank you for this video 😭
@@sharminbegum4271 yes exactly and the confessions are getting more and more ridiculous for example I confessed to him I used to be cruel to ants when I was younger. I feel that if I didn't confess this he doesn't know that I'm a psychopath
I can totally realte i have the urge to confess everything to my parents and asking for reassurance but i realy chose to stay uncertain and not make others life more camplicated. Its all about choice..., ♥️♥️ alll my support i realy can uderstand what is ocd!
You have no idea how much you have helped me. I suffered for 36 years and recently got diagnosed with ocd which explains so much of why I am how I am. Thank you so much
i deal with the same thing. sometimes i get so anxious that I'll get physically sick for a week. trust me, things will get better, you just need to keep watching videos like this and try to stay positive. we all make mistakes and sometimes it's hard to forgive ourselves, but we have a life to live and we must move on. wishing you the best in dealing with ocd!
HEY GUYS, I know you may be still questioning if it’s OCD or not. You’re telling yourself “we’ll just in case it’s not ocd, I’m gonna keep punishing myself.” I promise you it’s OCD. You ARE a good person. Bc you are so worried that you’re not a good person. That’s why you are here. Be as strong as you can and tell yourself everyday “I know what you are and it’s not who I am; it’s ocd.” And love yourself for caring about if you are good or not bc that means you are GOOD. And after you shoot that thought down, do things that make you happy and think positively as best as you can and eventually, you’ll kill that ocd. Just please give yourself the chance to trust yourself when you are telling yourself it’s just ocd. Ive found the light but sometimes, it comes back and I just keep being patient and give myself the benefit of the doubt bc I know damn well I clearly have OCD from my silly obsessions and compulsions and rituals I use to do. Now it’s all just mental and I’m trying to convince myself it’s just ocd when I have my fallbacks and “flare ups” of ocd again.
It is bad though. It WAS disgusting. It WAS terrible. The OCD is a side effect. How am I supposed to forgive myself? With context sure one could rationalize, but I'm so convinced that I am a monster that I couldn't possibly find a way to make it about the OCD. edit: went to NOCD, have been working with a therapist for a couple weeks and overall feel significantly better about the circumstances. dont feel COMPLETELY okay about it, but my specialist helps me see it in a less black and white way. highly recommend you seek out the support people.... its life changing.
I felt this. But just know, you will overcome it. You will forgive yourself. Unfortunately I struggle with real event OCD. I eventually told my mom and she understood me, but I felt guilty after I told her too, for about 6 months. I eventually forgave myself but it took a lot of courage
I'm currently struggling with it and at the same time that I'm glad this actually a real thing, I am so deeply ashamed of myself. I wish I had never done the things I've done. I feel horrible and I honestly wish I could just quit life but I also can't gather the courage to do so.
You are a life saver .... just last 2 days I was struggling like hell with one of my silly past mistake..... and now it’s clear it’s my ocd .... wow 😮.... I got your video in the perfect time.... thank you so so much 🙏 😃
Sometimes I remember past events after months not once remembering about it, and then I started to excessively think about what I've done and what I should've done. Because it has been a long time, I found it difficult to remember the real thing that happen, also its hard to seek reassurance and validation to the people involved bcs other than probably they already forgot about it, they will find me weird that I apologize excessively over things that already forgiven or forgotten about. Its super hard 😅
I've been looking for answers for years, and for the first time ever, this video described what I feel. It's exactly as you said, the mind refuses to let go and believes feeling bad forever is the only option.
I can relate to this video too much. It's all because of the "friends" I chose as a child. I feel extreme shame and embarrassment everyday. I've been diagnosed with severe social anxiety from age 21. Thanks for the video!
This is my life. I go over things I feel bad about from the near or distant past (events that really happened) over and over and over again in my mind in a daily basis. I even ask for forgiveness and reassurance from my family to exonerate myself and to relieve the anxiety but it doesn't work. New events pop up to replace the ones I've just confessed and the cycle begins again. Even the thoughts I've recieved reassurance for pop up again eventually or the thought twists to add another dimension to the event and then I have get reassurance about that too. Sometimes I get so confused with my thoughts, I can't remember if everything about the event actually happened or not. Sometimes my head plays tricks on me and gives me false memories too.
It's not just that but also that I'm obsessed with the thought, that people will hate me or be grossed out as soon as they'd get to know about this thing. And it's real hard living with the feeling, that i will never be able to tell anyone if I don't want to die alone...
I generally tend to ruminate over upsetting past events when I am trying to fall asleep. I have learned to say (outloud) "NO! DON'T THINK ABOUT THIS", which seems to work in my case. Maybe give it a shot; it can't hurt!
I’m in tears lol this video helped in a few different ways. I’ve been struggling with this for YEARS and I didn’t know it was an actual thing that is certainly related to my OCD. Just found you on instagram yesterday and I’m soo glad. Thank you 🙏🏼
You are going to save my life man. I never knew this is what I had- this and scrupulosity... I thought I have pure o- which I think I did for a time early on in my teens/ before that was solely rituals since I was 5 years old... I have been successful pushing through despite my thoughts- avoiding and trying to ignore. But nevertheless still just as burdened. You have given me a nee foundation to build off now I can acknowledge this. Thank you so so much
I am to lazy to type comment, however; you deserve a Thank you! I am thankful to you for this video. You probably don't know how much you helped me to overcome this thoughts. Mine is something real that happened and I felt shame to even talk to anyone. It's something I did that so bad and it's messed up. Watching this video and listening to you helped to realise stress and understanding better that this is even OCD. Again, thank you so much for everything!
your channel is an absolute godsend, pure o is a world of hell, though I kicked it two years ago, symptoms started creeping in during COVID, thanks for the help
I found it helpful to follow this process: 1. Identify what happened objectively (I realise this can be hard with our personal distortions, but try to remove yourself as best you can) 2. Notice what your narrative of worry is. 3. Balance your cognitive distortion by listing the different sides. So write out as many FOR and AGAINST statements to the worry. As anxiety feeds off black and white thinking, this should allow better, sustainable clarity. Just wished I'd heard this earlier in my OCD journey. Sending so much love to you all 🙏🏼❤️
This is a brilliant method, but I think it’s so important to be mindful that this doesn’t become a compulsion itself. I have made many a list in my time, and it became more harmful than good in the end with the amount I was making. So, do these steps once, but never engage after that. When the thought comes up, uses those self phrases to make the thoughts seem less. My phrase is “thanks for your opinion!” And “maybe, maybe not”, and “sure thing, buddy!”
@@xLovelyThorns Absolutely, compulsive reassurance is a very slippery slope. Also yes, just addressing the thoughts as a stream of random consciousness helps, like you said, giving it nothing back. I heard someone say once that if you tell someone not to think of something, thats exactly what the mind goes to do. It's important to remember that your mind is constantly "hyper alert" to certain themes or fears within the intrusive thoughts. It's trying to help you in a VERY STRANGE way. It's over activity is trying to "solve" the discomfort. Ending up with cycles of worry about why it won't resolve. You can't solve anxiety with repetition. OCD really is an awful mind-trick. It's not the thoughts that are the issue (anyone can have any thought) its your reaction to having them that is the issue. Take care everyone. Sending you all strength
Dear@@sashwathisriganesh6751, these statements are used to bring a balanced perspective. Basically, look for evidence like you would in a court trial (but for your mind). The reason for it being both sides is so you can get less black and white outcomes. Anxiety feeds off all or nothing thinking. E.g I am not a bad person because I support my community And I am a bad person because I accidently spilled coffee on a coworker This is of course just an example (chose a neutral topic as to not be triggering for someone) but hopefully that helps. All best 🧿
This is like a mirror to my brain. I cried my eyes out with how heard I feel. I've decided to get helf after seeing this.. I didn't know this existed but it makes so much sense to me.
Thank you, I didn't know that I had OCD but now I do. Thank you so much, things make more sense now and I can look into addressing it better now I know what it is!!
I had no idea this was an OCD thing. I've been spiraling with a past memory, like an itch I can't scratch. It makes no sense logically for me to still feel the way I do, and it has been driving me crazy and been so distracting. Thank you for this video. I hope it helps me feel better!
I am constantly thinking about careless mistakes I made as a teenager and how it's going to affect my health in the future. I always have the urge to go to a doctor and have them tell me that I'm going to be okay, but I know that it won't get rid of these obsessive thoughts. I think about them so much that it affects my psychical health. I feel like I'm going crazy. Thank you for your videos!
Your videos are shedding a lot of light on what I’ve been dealing with. I’ve unfortunately had therapists that took part in feeding into my obsessive thoughts. I wish these videos were available during that tough time. Thank you.
This is what i’m dealing with! I feel so guilty for things i did in my childhood and i feel awful, i don’t understand why i did those things. I don’t wanna do those things again! It’s so exhausting :(
i didn’t make the connection from my OCD to why i put so much pressure on myself in general… why it’s so stressful & difficult for me to deal with making mistakes. & why it’s hard for me to get over when i do & why i obsess over just the thought or the possibility of making a mistake. thank you XO
Wow this showed up in my recommended and I’m so relieved to know there is a name for this. I have been struggling for 3 years after something really bad I did. That event also triggered real event OCD for a bunch of other bad things I have done in the past. It’s so scary to live with. I have fear episodes where I feel like I can’t speak because something bad related to a real event might come out ☹️ I’m obsessed with trying to figure out WHY I did the Bad Things. But then I get mad at myself for trying to find justifications my actions! Because I must be - a bad person. But I’m not, right? I have changed. I’ve learned a lot. I’m still growing and changing every day. But do they know that? I’m obsessed with trying to apologize over and over to the people I hurt. I do it in my head a lot because some of them I don’t even have a relationship with and others have said they’ve forgiven me. But have they? Should I forgive myself? Do I deserve that? If I forgive myself, will I become a bad person? I feel like I need my shame to make me good 😞
Yeah this is it, I constantly ruminate over stuff that happened 5-10 years ago and constantly look for reassurance that “enough time has passed to let it go” but that seems to make the thought stronger.
I think I over analyze the event waaaay too much, because now it seems like my mind is adding details to the event that wasn't originally there before. I try to remind myself that if these details didn't bother me before and they are now, then it's more than likely OCD creating a false memory/thought I had
I keep thinking about the way I was from ages 11-14. I’m 15 now and I think about all of the obsessions I’ve had with celebrities, shows, etc,... I convince myself that I’m weird because of them. I also obsess about 2-3 things I did when I was 5-9 years old, and the way I treated people up until last year. The thoughts make me feel like I’m narcissistic, dumb, weird, etc,... I convince myself that other people see me that way and rely on others telling me they don’t for validation and reassurance. This sucks. I’m not diagnosing myself and saying that I have Real-Event OCD but I get constant intrusive thoughts about things i’ve said and done in the past.
Like a few comments said. Cancel Culture makes it 10x worse, I have a strange fear that I may become famous one day and a former classmate of mine or someone that I interacted with might tell everyone how I used to behave and then millions of people will hate me and bully me.
I've been suffering with this for over 3 months now. Just constant rumination about every little thing revolving it it's actually debilitating. I feel like im never gonna feel okay again in the slightest bit. I just don't want to keep thinking and thinking about this for the rest of my life
Wow, never knew I had this and really connected with everything you said. I just have to tell myself ‘NO’ every time those thoughts creep in. Catching them early is very important.
I convinced myself I was a terrible manipulative and selfish partner who only ended up hurting the other person in the relationship that mentally I blocked out any memories of my partner’s testimony where he claimed to think back to our time together as a “pure” time in his life. In my search for certainty I was rereading old messages and when I saw what he said I broke down crying as the truth confronted my truly warped mental perceptions about myself. I still have to remind myself about his opinion because my brain is still so stuck in the ocd all or nothing frame of mind
I watched this video back in 2020 while struggling and it was the catalyst that helped me to realize that this is what I was struggling with. It has been a long journey but I am in ERP now. Some days are really hard. But at least now I know that I am getting the right help.
Thank you so much for posting this video! 🙏🏻 you are helping so many people Nathan 🙏🏻 Please could you do a video on real event ocd but for things people have done to you (as opposed to you doing something ‘bad’ to them?). So ocd for real events happened to you done by others. Thank you for all that you do.
I’ve been dealing with this stuff since I was 8 years old. Anytime I bring it up to my parents and they won’t listen to me that it’s ocd. Thank you for this it’s definitely helpful :)
I have had Real Event OCD, False Memory OCD and Just Right OCD for over a year. I had stopped socializing. I didn't even talk to my family members unless it was necessary. I would just be in solitude the whole day. When I experienced Real Event OCD, I would be really afraid and i would panic sometimes. Together the three OCDs created a lot of anxiety. Maybe i got D Personalisation and D Realisation because of the anxiety. Also, I remember having these strange high feelings for short durations of time... that life was so beautiful... and I was here for a reason. But after knowing what it all was, my condition has been improving. Real Event and False memory OCD are almost gone and Just Right OCD is half gone. I have started socialising more and have started engaging myself with friends. I am better able to put my mind to stuff and ive started to become productive. I think talking to people and engaging myself in work keeps OCD away. Thankyou for your videos. They got me out of OCD! And all the best to you!
I'm literally crying while reading you're comment because I'm going through everything you said . I recently told my boyfriend how I was feeling with all the memories and adding stuff that could of happen and now he thinks I'm going crazy and should go to the hospital 🥺🥺 . I'm glad I'm not the only one. It's so horrible.
when i was diagnosed about a few weeks ago with ocd at a mental health hosptial, i came home a few days after and looked up treatment for ocd , and i found you, i whatched a lot of your videos , admittedly i got a bit fixated 😅but anways , you have helped me and my school clinician understand my ocd better, and now she helps me by helping me sit with the uncertainty and not reassuring me, i hope to start erp or act soon! if i can ! i am so grateful for every video you make, you make me feel called out somtimes but it’s worth it cuz you geniunly help me and my therpaist understand ocd and me better :)
I don't have a clinical diagnosis but I'm trying to get one, however, this video almost perfectly describes how I've been feeling and I think I'll come back to it when the thoughts get too much again. Thank you so much, it has made me cry because I've felt like no one actually understands and yet I know that there's something wrong with me. It literally eats away at me and the world feels like a minefield because barely anything can trigger it so i find myself doing the same things each day that I know are 'safe' and get so much anxiety when I stray away/have the idea of straying away from those things. This 'Real Event OCD' is just one of the things I believe I'm struggling with but thank you so so much for bringing it to my attention, thank you I'm so grateful. And for letting me have a cry too! My heart and mind hurt, it's so hard day in day out - it feels like you're not in control of your thoughts, like you're being bullied, like you deserve it. I've tried mindfulness and it helped for a short period but I became obsessive over it and then it began to feel like more work. I just feel very lost
I relate to your expression of the world feeling like a minefield so much! I always thought I was just overwhelmed by everything but if I‘m being honest I‘m just scared of getting triggered, that‘s why I‘m so avoidant.
Yes I do struggle with real event OCD. It's not the only aspect of my OCD but this is the first time I have ever heard a Dr speak of it at s7ch length. You speak to me!! This is the sec9nd time you have done this to me. Your other video about the. T OCD as well. I'm no stranger to therapy but you speak so specifically about some of my issues it's wonderful ( words cannot express). I'm definitely your latest fan
For me, real event OCD comes up mostly related to work issues. I am a scientist so there is a high value placed on "perfection," or at least attention to detail. When I feel I've messed up, been less than perfect, or collected data the wrong way my real event OCD will lead to compulsions of trying to figure out exactly what I did wrong, whether it completely ruined the entire experiment, and whether it makes me a bad person, careless, undeserving of my job, dishonest, etc, etc, etc...
I have rocd that makes it so I can't make music anymore. I feel like im not worthy of talent. I don't deserve to be commended for anything and at times I feel im not even worthy of distraction. I just want to die but I am scared.
Do You Struggle With Real Event OCD? What does it look like? 😉
Oh man thank you for doing this video. I've had a singular memory that I've been hung up on for 2 years now. Something from 20 some years ago. I've had OCD long enough to know it was OCD, but I wasnt sure what the subtype or category was so I felt a bit lost on how to self treat it. I just knew that ruminating and googling was making it worse so I stopped that. Its way better now than it was a year ago but it still pops up. Thank you for the video I at least know is going on now :)
@@MAMP I'm so glad you've been able to find what's happening. I hope you can find some relief. I would look at iocdf.org to see if you can find someone. 👍🏻
@@ocdandanxiety you should look into "waswasa" Nathan. Ps i love your personality
Thank you so much for this, I would love to say what is eating away at me but my OCD prevents me from sharing it with anyone else but close family members. I’m so scared
Funny article from the Lancet basically tell providers to let ocd sufferers know that wash your hands more often is not helpful...🤣🤣 www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366(20)30222-4/fulltext
I can't put into words how exhausting/painful this is.
I know it's hellish.
It's like your brain is burning and the words/thoughts are stopping. You try to stop it but it's like pouring oil on fire
I see your comment was 10 months ago. How are you now? Have you been able to cope with your OCD?
@@Avio033how are you. Please I need a friend to talk to
@@chidera2551 Hi! I'm definitely a bit better. I still got the OCD, but I'm learning to cope with it a bit better every day. Some days I get a bit of a backlash, but I know that it's temporary and that I will always recover.
And I'm sure that over time, you'll learn the same.
My recommendation: Seek professional help. Find someone who is specialised in OCD and knows how to help you. I'm currently doing the same and I'm learning more than I ever could've on my own.
not gonna lie, i cry anytime i watch your videos because i always feel like i'm going crazy or i'm the only person dealing with this, but you describe things as if you're reading my mind. this type of ocd has been the hardest for me to deal with because i'm reminded of things i have actually done and i am convinced that i am an awful person. i've had many times where i was ruminating all day, and anytime i felt happy, i would think to myself "why are you happy... are you just unbothered by how awful of a person you are." sometimes i even convince myself that i don't even feel bad about these mistakes and i'll probably do them again. your videos have been a tremendous help to me and i cannot thank you enough!
p.s. while watching this i kept thinking, "this doesn't apply to you, your mistakes are much worse than everybody else's"... ocd is an ongoing struggle 😪
Yea it never ceases to amaze me that there are others (like you) out there that have my problem. It seems like it’s even gotten worse during Covid but I also feel like I don’t deserve happiness. Many times I’ll be having a good time just until my ocd reminds me “hey you’re having a good time, remember what that person said about the religion you put down? He would be more satisfied if you suffered because you stopped practicing that religion!” And bang my good time turns around and then I get pissed, anxious and ultimately sad. Sorry for venting:-) My therapy helps a bit and in the past I’ve done ERP but it didn’t seem to work for me because mine is scrupulosity, which means the uncertainty’s essentially infinite...but I still have hope and I’m hoping you are also seeking avenues to help.
@@renakmans3521 i know exactly what you're talking about, sometimes all it takes is a single intrusive thought to completely change your mood. also, i know the feeling of constant uncertainty and it sucks, but you have to learn to accept the uncertainty. accepting uncertainty is reallllly hard, but with time and practice, it gets easier. i think the main point of ERP is not to seek certainty, but to learn to deal with the uncertainty without doing your compulsions. keep fighting ocd and always try to keep a positive mindset. 👍
@@mentallyillsal don't be sorry, i completely understand. stay strong!
Sal Jeez, that’s exactly what I hear in my “other” brain. It’s like the ocd now is not about anything specific but an overall “I did something that makes me undeserving”. And then to try to get yourself out of that feeling is the hard part because you’re not supposed to do compulsions. Hearing both your stories and others just gives me hope because it just confirms it’s all ocd, also the fact that I don’t know what you “did” or you don’t know what I did to “deserve” that feeling shows us that it’s not the content but ocd itself. I’m rooting for you both (and myself:-) much love...
Couldn’t have described it better! These thoughts just make things seem soooo much worse than they actually are and continuously tell you your a bad person!!
How many of you feel that the Cancel Culture has somewhat acted as a trigger and a major thing to speculate for any person suffering from real event OCD. And this in the last 5 years in the world is all time high untill the pandemic hit us.
I absolutely agree with you. The rise of social media and cancel culture has really cause my symptoms.to worsen over time and eventually came to a place where I needed help.
100% with you. I've done things that, by the cancel culture, they're unacceptable. I make amends with the people I offended, some others things I just can't repair. But the constant judgement of the cancel culture is what makes my symptoms worse and worse every day. I was a worse person back then, now I opted for being the difference and stop being the piece of crap that I used to be.
Yes. A million percent. We are seeing a lot of it in the world right now and it pushes us OCD sufferers over the edge. But we must remember that noone is perfect including those who are righteous. And if they think they are perfect well that's another problem.
We are all shades of imperfection in different areas and I used to beat myself up thinking I didn't deserve happiness or love anymore if I thought I had somehow crossed the line to unforgivable. Then I realized everyone is just doing the best they can in any given moment. Only when you have truly been in anothers footsteps (which we can't really) can we totally understand and forgive why people did what they did. It's like why does a bully hurt someone, because they are hurt themselves. I believe everything happens due to cause and effect so whenever a person acts badly there is a reason. When we are babies our brains literally are molded by how we are nurtured and raised. If a baby doesn't get enough love their brain literally won't develop properly. Hence sometimes we see people in the world who do very bad things, but I feel, that stemmed from somewhere, and if it stemmed from some kind of trauma, how can I hate them? I can hate the action and the sin but not the sinner.
We are not our actions or our thoughts. Xxx
yes, i’ve deleted all socials except youtube. it’s made me ill, but getting rid of social media has helped a lot and is a start!
OMG yes. I’m 17 and for the last 2 months I have been going I have been ruminating over bad things I did in middle school.
Cried so hard watching this. Good to know it’s not just me
Same and same! We all believe we are our own special brand of f$&@ed up, but really we ain’t nothing special and it’s a relief!
So did I just now. I totally lost it listening. I cried and still crying. I feel so alone . Ive been doing this my whole life and im at the end of myself now. I know what’s wrong with me now.
It's also me :(
I struggle with this really bad!
I'm goin through it too
The hardest part is when your brain tells you that you don’t deserve inner peace because what happened must be SO bad that you’re practically beyond the Pale.
It feels so hopeless.
How are you doing now?
@@prismatic1239Much better. I’ve been with NOCD since last October and the ERP therapy really works.
The thoughts never go away fully, and they ebb and flow in intensity, but I’m able to live with them and keep going forward.
Thanks for checking in.
True
@@prismatic1239 I don’t know if my last reply was uploaded but I’m doing much better now
@@LukeGilroyI’m happy to hear you’re doing better!
This is so tiring. Theme after theme. Pain, guilt, overwhelming anxiety. I've made so so many mistakes in my teen years. Mainly sexual. I really can't comprehend why I did those things, it's so against me as a person now. Before I was this bad those things still bothered me but no where near to this extreme. I wish I could restart life and erase all of this. I've wasted so many opportunities in life and I've only worsened myself. I'm constantly going over and over every little detail with everything that's happened. I'm so scared of being like this forever and letting my family down. I want to just feel love and happiness. I'd hate for anyone else to deal with this no matter who they are or what they've done. I can't ever see myself being happy, comfortable or living life how I want to. It's so much to deal with I'm literally just existing at this point. I feel like if I ever did get over this somehow I'd still have people trying to ruin my life and remind me of my mistakes and dragging me back down. Or being triggered and OCD grabbing and pulling me into that hole again and I'll never get out of it. There's so much going on in my mind I can't concentrate or just deal with life. I just want to be seen as a good person and not for what I've done. So fearful of judgement and not being perfect or fitting in with other people's ethics etc. Sorry for rambling I just felt I had to type this, which is probably a compulsion. I hope everyone dealing with this gets to break free eventually, do the things they want to do, live the life they want to live and gets a chance to finally be the person they want to be.
Hey man, I feel you. I feel bad as well about things. I can relate to what you're feeling. Are you available for chat anywhere at all?
You ARE a good person. Hope you feel better.
@cheese fries what is your insta?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that I'm going through the same thing. May we find peace and happiness
I am going through the same exact thing!!!! Sexual decisions I made as a teen haunts me now as an adult. Like you said I stand for the exact opposite now!
I wouldn’t wish this pain on anybody… it is debilitating, unbearable, and unlivable. It is actually hell and a prison in your mind. I just found out I have this type of OCD and it’s crazy that I’m not alone. I’m starting treatment and I think this time I’m going to climb out of this hole I’ve been sinking into for years. I pray for you all to find peace and self love soon. You all deserve it, and one action doesn’t define who you are. We all make mistakes and deserve a chance at a better, healthier life. God bless you all and thank you for the video.
I think to myself at least I only made those sexual mistakes when I was a child, and that helps for a while. Then I start to feel really guilty again about those events, and it starts all over again. I end up sleeping during the day, not going out of the house, and not eating or drinking properly. I have been diagnosed with OCD, and depression. My brother, and sister know about everything, and they have been absolutely marvelous. I am truly blessed to have them in my life. Thank you for this video.
Yep I’m going through this. There’s two childhood mistakes I made that I didn’t realize was as horrible. Now that I’m more consenting and know what’s right and wrong I can recognize that it’s sooo wrong. I recognize that it happened and I can’t change it but it also makes me fear my future. I get intrusive thoughts like “what if I do it again?” Knowing dang well I would never ever want to do that again. Another thought is “what if I’m really like that?” Ugh it sucks. I feel like i deserve no love at all for the things I committed as a child. Now I’m 17 and dealing with this. I hate myself so much. I’m tired I just want out now.
So sorry to here that:(, but I can relate I’m going through the same thing as you are it’s really hard in times. We can and will get over this. I’ve been battling a lot and if I could go back I wish I could fix what I did, but it’s okay. We are all humans and we are not perfect we all make mistakes. You are in my prayers.
@@Meli-kr7kv thank you so much. It sucks but I’m hoping that someday we will find peace and self forgiveness. Ur in my prayers as well💕
Hello dear,im going through the same since the pandemic started..as i can remember it started in 2020 april in my case. Since then i have forgotten what it feels like to be alive.I cant even share this with anyone. I've lost a lot of weight and my physical condition has also worsened. I send prayers for everyone who is going through this and all the pain that I've been through in the past was heaven compared to this
@@paramore4ever575 I’m feeling awful right now. But it’s a good idea to focus on something because it helps so much. When you feel guilt and ocd it feels like a rock on your chest and you feel as if you can’t breathe but trust me we’re gonna be ok.
@@hossainimran6764 I’m sorry to hear that. Mine started in Oct of 2020. I told my mother what I have done as a child so that was somewhat of a weight lifted off but I do dwell on it too much. If u can I encourage to tell someone u absolutely trust? That might be a stepping stone to getting better. It did for me a bit at least. Even if you think it’s so terrible I encourage u. Trust me what I did was terrible as a child but I’m hoping I can somehow put behind me. You’re gonna be okay I’ll keep u in prayer
I feel really bad about the things I did as a teenager. Some people say it was fine cause I was a stupid teenager, and didn't realize what I was doing, but I still feel awful about it and wish I never did it.
i’m the same. i’m still young but oh my god my actions over the past i’d say 4 years were awful and i wish i had done things differently. just remember your not alone and everyone makes mistakes and does stupid things while were young, so we learn not to make them when were older!! 💖💖
Same for me .....I'm 25 years old now ..having real event ocd from 1 year .....I made mistakes in my teenage time ....
Same :/
@@harryogrady1716 I do too. I think it's okay to admit to yourself that you don't have to aay you didn't know better; just be honest with yourself. Tell yourself that you knew you shouldn't have done that thing, and own it be better the next time something like that happens.
For me it was when I was a 5-7 years old and I didn’t know what I was doing at the time but what kills me is that I may have caused someone trauma and I will never get over this.. Ever... I know i’m not that person 10 years ago but I wish I can go back and I wish I can apologize to the people I may have hurt but I haven’t seen them in years and I don’t know if they remember or not... I can’t fix this... I can’t help them and be there for them support... I can’t do nothing... Everything bad thing that happens to me, I deserve it.
real event ocd is taking over my mind :( thanks for your vid
I hope you can feel some relief! Thanks for sharing! 👍🏻
Same
I'm going to forgive myself even if no one else forgives me.
God is always willing to forgive and he is desperately waiting for you to come to him
@@ocdandanxiety I need to send an email to you
This OCD subtype is the final boss of my OCD. It has been by far the hardest one to deal with. I will be diligent in ERP soon. One of the most frustrating things is how it convinces you it's not OCD.
How have you been doing?
@@jacobhosier5679 much better! Medication and therapy has been working!
Agree 100% It's a beast of a mental illness. Makes me wish for other forms of ocd to replace it. Makes me wish for any other type of suffering to replace it
It's great to hear that you're feeling much better now!! Do you any tips for us on how to deal with this?
@@4_seagull hy How R you Doing now
"Your mind tells you that the guilt you are feeling is 100% real... You can easily convince yourself that what you are experiencing is normal and how you're reacting is actually how you should be reacting." Hearing another person describe exactly what goes through my mind has brought me an enormous amount of relief.
I struggle with this a lot with my past mistakes from 7-8 years ago that could really hurt people and cause them to lose trust in me if they knew what I’ve done. It’s so hard because i always worry that they’ll find out one day and hate me. I think about my mistakes everyday and sometimes it makes me so overwhelmed that I can’t focus on anything else.
Do you have any suggestions?
@@mjs8621 i'm not a professional or a psychologist or anything like that, but i deal with the same thing and hopefully you'll find my advice helpful...
first of all, it's not right to judge somebody by mistakes they made that long ago... 8 years is a really long time. people change a whole lot over the coarse of 8 years. even if you made the mistake yesterday, it's wrong for somebody to assume that you're okay with what you did or that you didn't learn from those mistakes. we're all human... we live and we learn, we all make mistakes.
second of all, i know it sucks, but accepting uncertainty is crucial to finding success in overcoming ocd/anxiety. there will always be the possibility of people finding out about your mistakes, but you cannot continue wasting your time worrying about these things. obviously it's much easier said than done, but with practice, you can find success. i also have days where i can't think about anything other than the mistakes i've made or how i'm "such a messed up person," but i try to remind myself that i have a life to live and can't keep wasting my time worrying about these things. i've done some pretty bad things and i spend a lot of time wishing i had done differently, but i can't go back and change things, so i must move on.
@@mjs8621 its a long hard road. U might never forgive yourself
I struggle with the same things. But mine is things I did 20 plus years ago. Didn’t bother me up until a few years ago. I wish I could tell you how to overcome it cause it sucks bad but I have not found the path myself. Good luck to you I wish you all the best!
@@larrywhitted7333 good luck brother❤️
Thank you for posting this. I have been tortured by memories for years. It feels like there's no hope for me and I just want to give up. Not a day goes by when I'm not tortured by it. Shame is all I feel.
Do you have professional help? With theraphie and adequate treatment it is really possible to recover. It is very important to know that.
I agree, it's being trapped in your mind of things you can't fix and it destroys any chance of enjoying that day or that moment. The Insomnia! Oh my Goodness, it just ruins every part of my life. My "joy" doesn't exist. I'm so sorry, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy (which seems to be myself)
Is your pfp Fullmetal alchemist
@@Rando-Rainstormcan we be friends
I've been through this, and it IS unbearable. I would say hellish. No escape and no exoneration. The awful thought that you will have to live with this guilt for the rest of your life. It is so important to be armed with the knowledge that this is OCD, not knowledge I always have had. I just didn't understand why this 'thing' was coming up again out of nowhere! Even when I subsequently realised I might have OCD, I didn't know about 'real event OCD'. This is so important to know. It is still OCD. In the depths of anxiety I did not know what to do, but spoke /confessed to my counsellor. At that time I didn't know I had OCD and he wasn't an OCD specialist but it helped me get through. In general, I think the delay tactic works for me. I try to say, 'I'm not sure if this is OCD or not, so I'm not going to think or do anything about it for at least a week. I'm not gpoing to do anything in response to my fear. If my fear goes and I can think clearly about it then I'll see'.
Thank you so much for this video. Knowledge is power.
Thanks for being vunerable and sharing your experience. It sounds so awful! I'm so happy you shared with your therapist. There really can be freedom from burdens and anxiety. 😃
Me too. The past 3 months for me have been horrific!
Thank you for your comment. I really need someone to talk to. Someone who understands real event ocd. I’m struggling.
excellent coping strategy. i do something similar
@@maryf5475 can I ask did treatment work for you a year later?
This Is probably the worst type of OCD in my experience, im the type of person that wont forgive itself. But lets cheer up for a moment, all of us have done things that we wish we didnt do. But we are good people, we know more that anyone else that maybe It wasnt the best desicion but we are here now. We can improve, we can be better. The thoughest part of all Is to forgive ourselves, you can do it ❤
The only person I have to forgive is myself and I am having trouble doing this. No one else cares or is bothered by it. Only myself.
This along with POCD and False Memory OCD is hard. While i'm calm down now, it still freaks me out. I felt like i was losing and almost gave up. But you helped me out and my mom and grandma have helped me as well. While there are times i get mild triggers, I just ignore and it keep doing what i love doing and that's working out at the gym, playing video games, watch movies and tv shows, and reading books and comics.
I think that my real event ocd is mixing and twisting things with “false memory ocd”. I’m looking really hard into my past(my childhood) and I feel like I’m making up memories. Ugh. The struggle.
You got good healthy habits, keep it up!
That's a nasty cocktail of ocds I know where you're coming
You're not alone
For me, real event ocd is intertwined with relationship ocd. I obsess over many things I’ve done in the past, even 5 or 6 years ago, mostly related to cheating. Although I’ve never overtly cheated on my boyfriend, I mentally review every situation where I thought of another guy, sought attention, spoke to or texted another guy, etc. and use these as examples that I’m a bad a girlfriend. It’s not a single event, but many small events that I obsess over and confess to my boyfriend about. I’ve gotten better at not confessing as much, but it’s still very hard for me not to mentally review. Rumination has been the hardest part of ocd to overcome
I have exactly the same thing, I keep confessing all the little things you described to my bf, i am ruining my relationship, how did you deal with it??
Same girl . For me even small look at some attractive person makes me guilty when I am so jealous of my bf . I was so obsessed to the point my brain would make me feel like a cheater or giving me urges like I wanted to speak to the person I thought attractive and I was afraid to act on it tho never did . And then felt guilty for even thinking that .
@@juliaxoxo05 how did you deal with it??
@@anastasiaboursanidou9122 let go, redirect focus ! Or when I am in a bad moment like obsessing too much I try to tell myslef if I really did like or want anyone else it would feel different . Not anxious not obsessing I would not push them away but I would rather enjoy it and go for it but I don’t and I tell myslef if thoughts makes me so guilty and uncomfortable and obsessing then it’s ocd and not me even when I am in backdoorspike. Which then I feel like fake but still let go !
I'm really relieved to hear you say that you experience this as well although I am so sorry that you have been going through this bc I know how hard it is... I am in the exact same place. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for this! Real event OCD is what started it all and I was so fearful to seek help. It was so debilitating I wouldn’t allow myself to enjoy things like working out, flowers in certain colors, or certain foods, music, because it was all somehow “evidence” and triggers that I was a bad person. Sometimes I would even catch myself being happy and I felt so much guilt about it because I didn’t think I deserved to be any amount of happy. It’s so wonderful you have this video out here so maybe people can get help sooner.
We deserve to learn and move on. I forgive you, no matter what it was. Have you moved on? Forgiven yourself? Fixed this issue?
i relate to this so much. i feel so debilitated. i dotn know what to do :(
same @luvr4ksoo
This is my problem with reql event OCD. The memories I have I did them. They are real. The pure shame and guilt I feel is overwhelming. I confess to people all the time. I dont get how it's not an issue. Although I did learn from it I cant deal with what I did. Its like a gnawing at me from everyday. Thank you for the video
My god, this video is exactly my kind of OCD, describes my mind very well
I'm sorry for what you're going through! I hope you can feel some relief soon!
The same here
I wish I had peace of mind
@@Marwa-ze9cp me too :( how are you feeling now ?
@@mla2853
I am better
Thank God
@@Marwa-ze9cp good to hear !!
Sending healing energy for everyone who’s gone/ going through this
I watch this video and I am like "yes, so many of these things ring true to me" and then I leave the video and am immediately in doubt of myself and my perceptions. it is such a spiral. like I can't even talk about it because it is all so uncertain. like it is literally such a tangle of thoughts.
We’re in this together. ❤️❤️ I feel the same
Oh God I feel you on that
Can’t agree more it’s so painful because didn’t even know this ocd was true.I don’t even know what’s real I have questions rummaging around in my head including whether I’m lying to myself.
Totally!!! The uncertainty is what amplifies the overwhelmingness, and what fuels the OCD thoughts itself. It is like there is a constant manipulator in my brain. It is working like a machine (without getting any tired) to make me believe that my OCD thought path is how I'm supposed to think. If I try any other way to think, it accuses me of hypocrisy. It is a crazy bully, who tries so hard to make me believe that I'll stay evil. This is why I struggle so bad to move past it.
Do you ever just think about it and everything and get confused? I feel like I do exactly what you commented. I’ll watch a video like this, then go “I do a lot of these things”, click off, think about it again or later on in the day and tell myself “nah I’m just stressed out right now, nothing is really wrong with me”. It’s gotten so bad I can’t even tell what to think anymore.
This video is so helpful. I'd never heard of real event OCD until a couple of weeks ago, but it sounds exactly like what I'm dealing with this year. Oddly enough, it was surprising to me to discover that there's a name for it, and that others are going through it too. I assumed that the guilty feelings meant I was actually guilty of being a horrible person. But now I know that my feelings are based in anxiety, rather than reality. Simply knowing that fact doesn't make the feelings go away, and it's still hard to get through the day when my brain keeps reminding me of all the stupid things I've done and said. My mind tells me that my mistakes are an exception and somehow worse than other "normal" people's mistakes. But I feel less alone now and am thankful for all the comments where people are open about their struggles.
I didn't know this was a category of OCD. I was recently diagnosed (I have primarily cognitive OCD and ROCD) but, while I could recognize my thoughts in those "modes" were irrational, obsessing over bad or questionable things I did in the past seemed like a rational thing to do because they were REAL. I HAVE to figure out what I did wrong or why I did it or whether it was as bad as I thought if there's some way to rectify it. I get into modes where I won't take care of my own body because I "deserve" to suffer, as though not eating is a perfectly logical penance for saying something mean to boyfriend. One time. Years ago. It's nice to know that this is a part of my OCD so I can work on disrupting the cycle.
This is really well described and how I feel. I’m 48 and think of stuff from a long time ago. Yesterday I confided in a good friend about what it was, he was ok with it but now part of me regrets telling him, not because I don’t trust him but because I don’t want him to view me in a different way, I feel slightly paranoid now that I’ve told him and anxious
I understand you completely. I have a real event ocd of something that I did when I was a teen. I came really close to telling my cousin about it today, but thankfully I didn’t. I would love to speak to you to see how you’re coping. I’m really struggling
The paranoia is the worst! Do you ever think that people can read your mind? ( I know people can't, just to clarify) but say you thought a bad thought about somebody, and then you start to worry that they heard you. And you replay it over and over again?
I can totally relate, I always regret after sharing
@@ElizabethGonzalez-jt7nsIt’s one year since my first comment and I’m struggling worse. It came back in December and I made things worse by talking about it with people and catastrophising
I’ve struggled with this particular obsession and other much more distressing topics for the last ten years and the way you discuss them is extremely thorough and validating. I wish I felt as seen by my past therapists as I do with these videos.
This is really well presented and good for early sufferers. My real event OCD came about from initially having depression/anxiety, which morphed into a real event OCD situation (vicious circle of OCD and depression). The real event thought is still there but I can put it to one side now. Takes time but things do get better. X
Dude. You have legitimately saved my life so many times. Thank you.
13:27 it scared me how much this resonated with me. I stopped doing a lot of things I used to enjoy simply because I feel I don’t deserve to enjoy them. I’ve gotten to the point that I can’t take this type of ocd anymore, from the moment I wake up till the moment if all asleep for the past 6 months I have thought about this mistake, I just can’t with it
Watch videos on youtube about god forgiveness if you believe.
@@Malika-zi2uvit's a compulsion to do that btw
In my opinion, self righteous people who judge others harshly are a part of the problem.People act in a way that supports the idea that if you did something bad,you should suffer for this and you are a scumbag.And then they preach about “growth”.We are human,we are capable of making mistakes,to mess up,but also to learn from this.I refuse to be an unforgiving person.
You are legitimately helping people with these videos.
I did something when I was about 7-9 and knowing the fact cancel culture exists triggers it even more
It is so exhausting to live everyday like this. Very comforting to hear my day to day life being explained perfectly.
Hi, thank you so much for posting this. I hadn’t heard of this OCD before and this is exactly my OCD. mixed in with false memory I think. I exaggerate the things that happened or convince myself things happened / things didn’t happen. It has hands down ruined my life. Thank you so much for making this video
i keep coming back to this video and it makes me cry every time. i'm so exhausted. and i'm sad. i'm really, really sad.
As a person who thinks that I have some or a little OCD I can relate with most of the videos you/he say(s) that is OCD. So, thank you for warning people, and correcting wrong videos, or articles. Thank you for helping people understand OCD, and be warned if they do have it.
Having watched your video, I realize that I struggle with real life OCD. I made a big mistake forty years ago and this has come up suddenly. I was very shocked and that memory triggered another intrusive thought that turned into another OCD. And the real life event OCD and the other OCD keep eachother going, they trigger eachother and I keep going round in circles. Your video was very helpful to me because I didn't know, that there is such a thing as Real Life OCD. Hearing this now brings a lot of relief because now I know, what is going on. I always feel education is a big help in dealing with these issues. Thank you for your videos! I am a fan of yours, your imputs are short and sharp and so helpful!
I struggle with this bad, especially after I quit drinking. Im very thankful for these videos. I didnt even realize this was tied to my ocd and these have helped me as i continue working through the horroble regrets, cringe, dread of facing who i have been.
Thank you so much for the video!) I have this type of OCD and it is so torturing... I find that ruminating and googling make this worse, because while trying to figure out all the detail of the event I’ve obsess about, I can add false details in this event. So, real event OCD mixes with false memory and this makes it much worse.
So true!
My therapist tells me all this to me all the time because I have this issue.. I read forums.. Search up things pertaining to my mistakes find ways to remember. I even thought about getting a therapist who could make me see the past.. Asked questions on quora... Searching up forgiveness using my work as a distraction and I’m so tired of it. I’m extremely tired of it. I even tried to repent and pray but I felt like I didn’t deserve his forgiveness either. Now i’m in a loop...
@@luvforever-kp1hm Don’t give up, you can get rid of OCD. I’ve almost recovered from this type of OCD - intrusive thoughts come back sometimes, but they are not so intensive and don’t stay in my mind for a long time if I ignore them. So I believe I can cope with this. You can too😉
@K1r4nn82 You should realise the compulsions you do and stop doing them. For example my main compulsion was confession - I told about my mistakes to my mother and sometimes to my dad. Another compulsions were searching in Internet, analyzing all the details and so on... As for me, agreeing with the thoughts can be helpful if you do it sarcastically. Also I find accountability method very helpful - write the amount of time you ruminate and the amount of compulsions you do and try to decrease the quantity - do it every 3 hours. You can listen about this method on the channel of Ali Greymond. Step by step your mind will relax.
Don’t google anything. It makes it worse.
I felt so alone until I started researching this. This channel has helped immensely and can’t thank you enough
I have searched the web high and low about self forgiveness, you are not your past, and so on.. Anthony this is the first video I have seen that describes me to a tee. I was laughing when you listed off what a person suffering with this might go through because i checked every mark. I’m glad I have a label for this crippling guilt rumination, and anxiety. Thank you. This has drained the color out of too many years.
Every time I watch this video I'm like "how did you get in my brain?" It's so strange how many people experience the same thing and find it hard to move on. I've been suffering this particular subtype since 2020 and it's still there sometimes even though it goes away and I feel normal for a while.
This was just what I needed to see right now. I've had OCD my whole life and have all the stressful obsessions (ie, the taboo/ego dystonic ones) but the one I've been struggling with the most is a real event obsession about something from 7 years ago. I'm still getting thoughts about it daily and it has been causing me immense frustration, even giving me suicidal thoughts because I know how ridiculous it is and just want it to stop.
This vid made me realize that I need to shift the way I look at it and focus on the guilt/shameful feelings that I'm having.
So i thought i had officially lost my mind but turns out my madness has a name
Me too man. But I guess we both (and probably millions of people out there) are our worst enemy.
I genuinely wouldn’t wish ocd upon my worst enemy . It has taken so many things from me .
You’ve really helped me , you’re very helpful .
You actually helped me find out that I could have ocd
I've done some bad things in my life, of course nothing straight up evil, but i've definitely done some very not so good things back in the day. While I don't have extreme RE OCD, it pops up especially with another OCD that i'm experiencing (I won't name since i'm not comfy naming it yet). I hated my past self and I want to be a good person, but whenever this stuff pops up I feel so much shame and guilt and disgust towards my current self. Thank you for this video man, you make my OCD so much more bearable.
Watching this makes me want to cry because it's exactly what I'm going through and I knew I have ocd but didn't know that real event ocd was a thing. It fits what I'm going through perfectly. I confess EVERYTHING to my partner and I'm always exhausted from it. Thank you for this video 😭
Babes exactly the same as you. Have you noticed though confessing gives relief for a while then you need to confess another thing🥺
@@sharminbegum4271 yes exactly and the confessions are getting more and more ridiculous for example I confessed to him I used to be cruel to ants when I was younger. I feel that if I didn't confess this he doesn't know that I'm a psychopath
I can totally realte i have the urge to confess everything to my parents and asking for reassurance but i realy chose to stay uncertain and not make others life more camplicated.
Its all about choice..., ♥️♥️ alll my support i realy can uderstand what is ocd!
You have no idea how much you have helped me. I suffered for 36 years and recently got diagnosed with ocd which explains so much of why I am how I am. Thank you so much
Thank you. I think I'm experiencing this right now but it's with multiple events.. it's so hard to deal with. I get so nauseous from it.
i deal with the same thing. sometimes i get so anxious that I'll get physically sick for a week. trust me, things will get better, you just need to keep watching videos like this and try to stay positive. we all make mistakes and sometimes it's hard to forgive ourselves, but we have a life to live and we must move on. wishing you the best in dealing with ocd!
@@tyc44-s1x thanks for the encouraging words, always appreciated. I wish you well on coping with OCD as well :)
@@tyc44-s1x i did get sick few months back man.. its hard to not think..
HEY GUYS, I know you may be still questioning if it’s OCD or not. You’re telling yourself “we’ll just in case it’s not ocd, I’m gonna keep punishing myself.” I promise you it’s OCD. You ARE a good person. Bc you are so worried that you’re not a good person. That’s why you are here. Be as strong as you can and tell yourself everyday “I know what you are and it’s not who I am; it’s ocd.” And love yourself for caring about if you are good or not bc that means you are GOOD. And after you shoot that thought down, do things that make you happy and think positively as best as you can and eventually, you’ll kill that ocd. Just please give yourself the chance to trust yourself when you are telling yourself it’s just ocd. Ive found the light but sometimes, it comes back and I just keep being patient and give myself the benefit of the doubt bc I know damn well I clearly have OCD from my silly obsessions and compulsions and rituals I use to do. Now it’s all just mental and I’m trying to convince myself it’s just ocd when I have my fallbacks and “flare ups” of ocd again.
It is bad though. It WAS disgusting. It WAS terrible. The OCD is a side effect. How am I supposed to forgive myself? With context sure one could rationalize, but I'm so convinced that I am a monster that I couldn't possibly find a way to make it about the OCD.
edit: went to NOCD, have been working with a therapist for a couple weeks and overall feel significantly better about the circumstances. dont feel COMPLETELY okay about it, but my specialist helps me see it in a less black and white way. highly recommend you seek out the support people.... its life changing.
how are things now?
I felt this. But just know, you will overcome it. You will forgive yourself. Unfortunately I struggle with real event OCD. I eventually told my mom and she understood me, but I felt guilty after I told her too, for about 6 months. I eventually forgave myself but it took a lot of courage
@@ivez5067 no.
I'm currently struggling with it and at the same time that I'm glad this actually a real thing, I am so deeply ashamed of myself. I wish I had never done the things I've done. I feel horrible and I honestly wish I could just quit life but I also can't gather the courage to do so.
You are a life saver .... just last 2 days I was struggling like hell with one of my silly past mistake..... and now it’s clear it’s my ocd .... wow 😮.... I got your video in the perfect time.... thank you so so much 🙏 😃
Sometimes I remember past events after months not once remembering about it, and then I started to excessively think about what I've done and what I should've done. Because it has been a long time, I found it difficult to remember the real thing that happen, also its hard to seek reassurance and validation to the people involved bcs other than probably they already forgot about it, they will find me weird that I apologize excessively over things that already forgiven or forgotten about. Its super hard 😅
I've been looking for answers for years, and for the first time ever, this video described what I feel.
It's exactly as you said, the mind refuses to let go and believes feeling bad forever is the only option.
I can relate to this video too much. It's all because of the "friends" I chose as a child. I feel extreme shame and embarrassment everyday. I've been diagnosed with severe social anxiety from age 21. Thanks for the video!
This is my life. I go over things I feel bad about from the near or distant past (events that really happened) over and over and over again in my mind in a daily basis. I even ask for forgiveness and reassurance from my family to exonerate myself and to relieve the anxiety but it doesn't work. New events pop up to replace the ones I've just confessed and the cycle begins again. Even the thoughts I've recieved reassurance for pop up again eventually or the thought twists to add another dimension to the event and then I have get reassurance about that too.
Sometimes I get so confused with my thoughts, I can't remember if everything about the event actually happened or not. Sometimes my head plays tricks on me and gives me false memories too.
I hope you are better ,I'm going through this and it feels never ending . Tomorrow will be my first therapy session hope it helps
It's not just that but also that I'm obsessed with the thought, that people will hate me or be grossed out as soon as they'd get to know about this thing. And it's real hard living with the feeling, that i will never be able to tell anyone if I don't want to die alone...
I generally tend to ruminate over upsetting past events when I am trying to fall asleep. I have learned to say (outloud) "NO! DON'T THINK ABOUT THIS", which seems to work in my case.
Maybe give it a shot; it can't hurt!
Seems almost like a compulsion
I’m in tears lol this video helped in a few different ways. I’ve been struggling with this for YEARS and I didn’t know it was an actual thing that is certainly related to my OCD. Just found you on instagram yesterday and I’m soo glad. Thank you 🙏🏼
You are so Beautiful Amber ❤️ iam struggling too, I pray that all of us suffering can get some relief 🙏
You are going to save my life man. I never knew this is what I had- this and scrupulosity... I thought I have pure o- which I think I did for a time early on in my teens/ before that was solely rituals since I was 5 years old... I have been successful pushing through despite my thoughts- avoiding and trying to ignore. But nevertheless still just as burdened. You have given me a nee foundation to build off now I can acknowledge this. Thank you so so much
I am to lazy to type comment, however; you deserve a Thank you! I am thankful to you for this video. You probably don't know how much you helped me to overcome this thoughts. Mine is something real that happened and I felt shame to even talk to anyone. It's something I did that so bad and it's messed up. Watching this video and listening to you helped to realise stress and understanding better that this is even OCD. Again, thank you so much for everything!
This is so ridiculously accurate
I'm crying. i'm so thankful I found this. Thank you for this.
You're not alone! 😃
your channel is an absolute godsend, pure o is a world of hell, though I kicked it two years ago, symptoms started creeping in during COVID, thanks for the help
Thanks so much! I wish you the best!
I found it helpful to follow this process:
1. Identify what happened objectively (I realise this can be hard with our personal distortions, but try to remove yourself as best you can)
2. Notice what your narrative of worry is.
3. Balance your cognitive distortion by listing the different sides. So write out as many FOR and AGAINST statements to the worry.
As anxiety feeds off black and white thinking, this should allow better, sustainable clarity.
Just wished I'd heard this earlier in my OCD journey. Sending so much love to you all 🙏🏼❤️
This is a brilliant method, but I think it’s so important to be mindful that this doesn’t become a compulsion itself. I have made many a list in my time, and it became more harmful than good in the end with the amount I was making. So, do these steps once, but never engage after that. When the thought comes up, uses those self phrases to make the thoughts seem less. My phrase is “thanks for your opinion!” And “maybe, maybe not”, and “sure thing, buddy!”
@@xLovelyThorns Absolutely, compulsive reassurance is a very slippery slope.
Also yes, just addressing the thoughts as a stream of random consciousness helps, like you said, giving it nothing back.
I heard someone say once that if you tell someone not to think of something, thats exactly what the mind goes to do.
It's important to remember that your mind is constantly "hyper alert" to certain themes or fears within the intrusive thoughts. It's trying to help you in a VERY STRANGE way. It's over activity is trying to "solve" the discomfort. Ending up with cycles of worry about why it won't resolve. You can't solve anxiety with repetition.
OCD really is an awful mind-trick.
It's not the thoughts that are the issue (anyone can have any thought) its your reaction to having them that is the issue.
Take care everyone. Sending you all strength
What do the for and against statements look like?
Dear@@sashwathisriganesh6751, these statements are used to bring a balanced perspective. Basically, look for evidence like you would in a court trial (but for your mind).
The reason for it being both sides is so you can get less black and white outcomes. Anxiety feeds off all or nothing thinking.
E.g I am not a bad person because I support my community
And
I am a bad person because I accidently spilled coffee on a coworker
This is of course just an example (chose a neutral topic as to not be triggering for someone) but hopefully that helps. All best 🧿
This is like a mirror to my brain. I cried my eyes out with how heard I feel.
I've decided to get helf after seeing this.. I didn't know this existed but it makes so much sense to me.
I'm not going go to say what it was, but one of the examples you gave was very significant for me. Thank you.
Thank you, I didn't know that I had OCD but now I do. Thank you so much, things make more sense now and I can look into addressing it better now I know what it is!!
Im in the depth of OCD right now. Its too much sometimes. People underestimate how intense this can be.
I had no idea this was an OCD thing. I've been spiraling with a past memory, like an itch I can't scratch. It makes no sense logically for me to still feel the way I do, and it has been driving me crazy and been so distracting. Thank you for this video. I hope it helps me feel better!
Me too my friend lol this is a last ditch effort to feel okay again. Wishing you healing and hope things get better
I am constantly thinking about careless mistakes I made as a teenager and how it's going to affect my health in the future. I always have the urge to go to a doctor and have them tell me that I'm going to be okay, but I know that it won't get rid of these obsessive thoughts. I think about them so much that it affects my psychical health. I feel like I'm going crazy. Thank you for your videos!
This is brilliant. I’m sure you have saved quite a few people who have watched this
Your videos are shedding a lot of light on what I’ve been dealing with. I’ve unfortunately had therapists that took part in feeding into my obsessive thoughts. I wish these videos were available during that tough time. Thank you.
This is what i’m dealing with! I feel so guilty for things i did in my childhood and i feel awful, i don’t understand why i did those things. I don’t wanna do those things again! It’s so exhausting :(
i didn’t make the connection from my OCD to why i put so much pressure on myself in general… why it’s so stressful & difficult for me to deal with making mistakes. & why it’s hard for me to get over when i do & why i obsess over just the thought or the possibility of making a mistake. thank you XO
Wow this showed up in my recommended and I’m so relieved to know there is a name for this. I have been struggling for 3 years after something really bad I did. That event also triggered real event OCD for a bunch of other bad things I have done in the past. It’s so scary to live with. I have fear episodes where I feel like I can’t speak because something bad related to a real event might come out ☹️ I’m obsessed with trying to figure out WHY I did the Bad Things. But then I get mad at myself for trying to find justifications my actions! Because I must be - a bad person. But I’m not, right? I have changed. I’ve learned a lot. I’m still growing and changing every day. But do they know that? I’m obsessed with trying to apologize over and over to the people I hurt. I do it in my head a lot because some of them I don’t even have a relationship with and others have said they’ve forgiven me. But have they? Should I forgive myself? Do I deserve that? If I forgive myself, will I become a bad person? I feel like I need my shame to make me good 😞
I get this often. It causes me physical pain, to the point of screaming or hitting myself in an attempt to stop thinking about it.
Me too
It is very painful and I cant stop thinking about it
Yeah this is it, I constantly ruminate over stuff that happened 5-10 years ago and constantly look for reassurance that “enough time has passed to let it go” but that seems to make the thought stronger.
I think I over analyze the event waaaay too much, because now it seems like my mind is adding details to the event that wasn't originally there before. I try to remind myself that if these details didn't bother me before and they are now, then it's more than likely OCD creating a false memory/thought I had
Thank you so much. So true for me. I remembered a thing from 10 years ago and suddenly it feels like I am the worst.
I keep thinking about the way I was from ages 11-14. I’m 15 now and I think about all of the obsessions I’ve had with celebrities, shows, etc,... I convince myself that I’m weird because of them. I also obsess about 2-3 things I did when I was 5-9 years old, and the way I treated people up until last year. The thoughts make me feel like I’m narcissistic, dumb, weird, etc,... I convince myself that other people see me that way and rely on others telling me they don’t for validation and reassurance. This sucks. I’m not diagnosing myself and saying that I have Real-Event OCD but I get constant intrusive thoughts about things i’ve said and done in the past.
Like a few comments said. Cancel Culture makes it 10x worse, I have a strange fear that I may become famous one day and a former classmate of mine or someone that I interacted with might tell everyone how I used to behave and then millions of people will hate me and bully me.
You're changing my life - Thank you.
I've been suffering with this for over 3 months now. Just constant rumination about every little thing revolving it it's actually debilitating. I feel like im never gonna feel okay again in the slightest bit. I just don't want to keep thinking and thinking about this for the rest of my life
How u doing now?
Wow, never knew I had this and really connected with everything you said. I just have to tell myself ‘NO’ every time those thoughts creep in. Catching them early is very important.
I honestly feel like I deserve to die for some of the things I did. I'm going to take a look at your program.
I convinced myself I was a terrible manipulative and selfish partner who only ended up hurting the other person in the relationship that mentally I blocked out any memories of my partner’s testimony where he claimed to think back to our time together as a “pure” time in his life. In my search for certainty I was rereading old messages and when I saw what he said I broke down crying as the truth confronted my truly warped mental perceptions about myself. I still have to remind myself about his opinion because my brain is still so stuck in the ocd all or nothing frame of mind
Absolutely! You are on the money!! The brain is full of guilt and it turns into anxiety. That’s the big rub...
I watched this video back in 2020 while struggling and it was the catalyst that helped me to realize that this is what I was struggling with. It has been a long journey but I am in ERP now. Some days are really hard. But at least now I know that I am getting the right help.
Thank you so much for posting this video! 🙏🏻 you are helping so many people Nathan 🙏🏻 Please could you do a video on real event ocd but for things people have done to you (as opposed to you doing something ‘bad’ to them?). So ocd for real events happened to you done by others. Thank you for all that you do.
That's a great idea. Thanks for suggesting it! 😃
I’ve been dealing with this stuff since I was 8 years old. Anytime I bring it up to my parents and they won’t listen to me that it’s ocd. Thank you for this it’s definitely helpful :)
Bless you I was around 14 when it all began.
I have had Real Event OCD, False Memory OCD and Just Right OCD for over a year. I had stopped socializing. I didn't even talk to my family members unless it was necessary. I would just be in solitude the whole day. When I experienced Real Event OCD, I would be really afraid and i would panic sometimes.
Together the three OCDs created a lot of anxiety. Maybe i got D Personalisation and D Realisation because of the anxiety. Also, I remember having these strange high feelings for short durations of time... that life was so beautiful... and I was here for a reason. But after knowing what it all was, my condition has been improving. Real Event and False memory OCD are almost gone and Just Right OCD is half gone. I have started socialising more and have started engaging myself with friends. I am better able to put my mind to stuff and ive started to become productive. I think talking to people and engaging myself in work keeps OCD away.
Thankyou for your videos. They got me out of OCD! And all the best to you!
I'm literally crying while reading you're comment because I'm going through everything you said . I recently told my boyfriend how I was feeling with all the memories and adding stuff that could of happen and now he thinks I'm going crazy and should go to the hospital 🥺🥺 . I'm glad I'm not the only one. It's so horrible.
@@DogMommy. how are you doing now? I’m struggling with this too.
when i was diagnosed about a few weeks ago with ocd at a mental health hosptial, i came home a few days after and looked up treatment for ocd , and i found you, i whatched a lot of your videos , admittedly i got a bit fixated 😅but anways , you have helped me and my school clinician understand my ocd better, and now she helps me by helping me sit with the uncertainty and not reassuring me, i hope to start erp or act soon! if i can ! i am so grateful for every video you make, you make me feel called out somtimes but it’s worth it cuz you geniunly help me and my therpaist understand ocd and me better :)
I don't have a clinical diagnosis but I'm trying to get one, however, this video almost perfectly describes how I've been feeling and I think I'll come back to it when the thoughts get too much again. Thank you so much, it has made me cry because I've felt like no one actually understands and yet I know that there's something wrong with me. It literally eats away at me and the world feels like a minefield because barely anything can trigger it so i find myself doing the same things each day that I know are 'safe' and get so much anxiety when I stray away/have the idea of straying away from those things. This 'Real Event OCD' is just one of the things I believe I'm struggling with but thank you so so much for bringing it to my attention, thank you I'm so grateful. And for letting me have a cry too! My heart and mind hurt, it's so hard day in day out - it feels like you're not in control of your thoughts, like you're being bullied, like you deserve it. I've tried mindfulness and it helped for a short period but I became obsessive over it and then it began to feel like more work. I just feel very lost
I relate to your expression of the world feeling like a minefield so much! I always thought I was just overwhelmed by everything but if I‘m being honest I‘m just scared of getting triggered, that‘s why I‘m so avoidant.
Yes I do struggle with real event OCD. It's not the only aspect of my OCD but this is the first time I have ever heard a Dr speak of it at s7ch length. You speak to me!! This is the sec9nd time you have done this to me. Your other video about the. T OCD as well. I'm no stranger to therapy but you speak so specifically about some of my issues it's wonderful ( words cannot express). I'm definitely your latest fan
For me, real event OCD comes up mostly related to work issues. I am a scientist so there is a high value placed on "perfection," or at least attention to detail. When I feel I've messed up, been less than perfect, or collected data the wrong way my real event OCD will lead to compulsions of trying to figure out exactly what I did wrong, whether it completely ruined the entire experiment, and whether it makes me a bad person, careless, undeserving of my job, dishonest, etc, etc, etc...
I have rocd that makes it so I can't make music anymore. I feel like im not worthy of talent. I don't deserve to be commended for anything and at times I feel im not even worthy of distraction. I just want to die but I am scared.