I have to be honest and admit I let out a massive snorty laughter and thought 'Yeah.. This sounds like my whole life too, where life = traumatic existence!' I'd also said this many a time to a doctor, consultant or other bods from the medical zone trying to decipher us! As for laughing and a bizarre sense of humour, if I didn't laugh at stuff (inappropriately at times) I don't think I'd be alive hear today typing this.
The thing with this question, at least as a female if you answer yes, typically they will then diagnose Borderline Personality Disorder without taking in any other information and subsequent answers to questions will be colored by that answer. There needs to be way more knowledge and research into personality and way less stigma and knee jerk responses to women and trauma. Also, trauma doesn't mean you're an idiot and it also doesn't mean you are a hurtful, spiteful person. Someone with Mensa level IQ could come from a traumatic background... it doesn't mean they are flawed or broken... but for whatever reason we seem to think people who went through trauma to be less than, regardless of evidence otherwise.
@@danicastein7660 Funny thing you mention this here. Back in 2005 when I was 17 I was diagnosed correctly with Asperger’s syndrome (ASD wasn’t a thing back then). But then I had a different therapist give me the dreaded Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosis in 2008 because she said “Females can’t have Aspergers.” It then took me another few years to reclaim my correct diagnosis but even then it was back and forth. Now my medical shed has both. And it’s vague too. It says Autism Spectrum Disorder and Personality disorder (no specific one mentioned) mood disorder nos, generalized anxiety disorder and my personal favorite complex PTSD. I don’t think I have a personality disorder since I don’t think I have anything that goes with Borderline Personality aside from being a former self harm but it was head banging and not cutting and I have never felt suicidal and in fact I have thanatophobia.
I was speaking with an advocate the other day and I explained to her how having autism as a child allowed my brain to survive years of abuse. I don't think I would have survived with my sanity if I had not been on the spectrum.
@Dahl L I feel that the lack of "normal" emotional content and response when I was a child that accompanied the ASD actually helped preserved my core identity. I lacked emotional response in a lot of instances, and always seemed to be able to recuperate in my inner cognitive sanctum. It was still quite a difficult journey and lots of therapy, but I strongly feel if I'd had "standard" emotional function I would have been much more vulnerable to sociopathy, suicide, etc, the types of outcomes often seen with severe childhood abuse.
I agree with this and can relate to that- but I also think it made me more vulnerable. I did present with the "signs" of trauma growing up, outside of my standard behavior that was already regarded as "odd". Even though Autism may have brought me some resilience, I would have liked it if I could community something was wrong so an adult could intervene...
@@Snackattac very much agree--my ASD vulnerabilities were running parallel to residual trauma issues like PTSD, and both are still a factor to a fair degree for me, though I have been enabled through much of the current focus on helping ASD individuals, esp as they become adults, where the social support seems to drop off in the past and is only really being addressed now. I made a path through to a semi normal life, can support myself, but a price was paid that might have been softened had social support been in place esp around the high school and college years to help ensure a good launch. I had a lot of misfires, as many of us do.
THIS!! THIS is what I've been waiting for as I grew up in a mentally & emotionally toxic environment where I was traumatised and yet victimised for another persons problems as well as my own autistic problems and made to feel ashamed for how I was hence the reason I suspect I also suffer with cPTSD. The shame and blame was enough to make me feel suicidal... even as a kid.
I think autistic people are a very easy target for abusive people in general and abusive parents in particular. In my case I had a narcissistic mother and an alcoholic borderline father. As I was very gifted when I was a child I got much attention from my father and this caused my mother to be jealous and try to destroy everything I was and she was not.
paulo c my dad was not like yours but the same patern here ! A narcissistic mom and a dad who gives me a lot of attention (at first) and the jalousie of my mom !
@@paulocl2 - I, unfortunately, had two selfish and narcissistic parents who could barely look after themselves, or each other, never mind 3 kids and my parents divorced when I was 5 yo. Even back then I thought 'Ah so my Dad's leaving, at least the fighting and arguing will end and the doors and walls won't get kicked in after big fights!' Little did I realise that that was the beginning of the *REAL PROBLEMS* my life would endure - a bit like the calm before the storm that lasted for 20 years until I felt so crushed and destroyed that my only way ahead was suicide, so I pushed against so much and decided I'd rather be out and alone rather than with people who still hated me. My mother simply went off the rails, making my fragile young life even more terrifying with me thinking 'If she can't look after herself, how can she look after me!?' That's the type of thinking no 5-6 year old needs to be concerned with. So with her going off the rails, and cos I wasn't out playing like my older brothers (7 & 9 yo,) as I was 5 years old, a lot of my mother's anger and aggression was directed at me and I was called clingy, mocked & bullied for being shy, told to snap out of it, mocked over my behaviour, repeatedly told in a vile and aggressive manner that there was something wrong with me and the other usual things people say when they've ruined their own lives and seek to blame others. I went thru my whole life feeling and knowing something was wrong with me but my issues were always nullified by someone I felt hated me hence the reason I felt suicidal on and off from the age of 6-7. It's only in the last few years I have realised that my problems were a lot more than just depression and anxiety and a lot deeper. So I spent a lot of time combing my life and did a fair amount of reading, to ensure I wasn't barking up the wrong tree, and found my conditions closer to autism and complex PTSD. I'd even brushed off the concept of it as I felt other people had it a lot tougher than me but I thought that way cos I'd been programmed to think that way, from my mother, and then I decided to look deeper into all concepts of what was wrong with me. As for my mother, she died February 2020, and I have to say I felt little to nothing over her death and had not been it touch with her for over 7 years. I even tried to force myself to cry and feel emotion but I got no more that a few tears and then my mind would simply say 'Forget her!!' My girlfriend, at the time, cried more than me and even she knew how bad I'd had it. As for my Dad, he's still the oblivious boomer he's always been, still selfish and narcissistic, still happily tears strips off people but if you offer it back up to him he's whinging and saying 'But what have I done to you!?' I ask him for nothing and keep my distance and only give enough to satisfy his needs even tho it kills me to do it. Anyway, hopefully we're in better positions in life and not having to suffer any more!
One thing I would add (which isn't often touched on or mentioned) is that many autistic children are born to autistic parents. For me meeting other families, this is a very common experience - many of the dads are often what was referred to as 'Aspergers', and many of the mums are undiagnosed autistic (only because there is still little understanding on how autism presents in females). This being the case, it's more likely that autistic parents might feel overwhelmed and anxious. As a result, they could be more angry and frustrated or just strugge to cope generally with the additional responsibility (which is how their anxiety could present), potentially causing their child/ren trauma or cPTSD.
As a child I was quiet and disconnected, had a tendacy to wander off. Wandering off got me into a serious traumatic incident, afterwhich I completely went into a shell, did not speak and I remember feeling lost and having difficulting processing what was going on around me. I have dealt with this the rest of my life slowly emerging out of it but as you can imagine I have struggled with all aspects of life. I have learned to hide my disconnection with my surroudings but sense that people perceive that something is wrong.
I believe that as an autistic individual himself he shares from a place of empathy, maturity and intelligence. You don't see yourself as being super generous when it's something you genuinely want to do.
@@cass8330 I agree. Seeing yourself as generous is an ego thing. It's for other people to see and think of you. Although I admit, when people call me generous or kind, I don't necessarily enjoy that. It almost implies that I've done something for that reason. But in this case, I genuinely mean it. It's very giving for him to do this. But when you see something as your duty, you definitely don't see it that way. I'm just letting him know that his actions are very much appreciated and valuable.
@@cass8330 He may not see himself in that way, but for those of us struggling, this really does makes a difference, and I at least (as does the original poster) do see him that way. It isn't an ego thing. It's the choice to share your journey with others, rather than just getting through it yourself. ❤️
You probably already know you’re doing an objectively good thing, but I just have to thank you personally for your channel. It mayyyy have saved my life, and I doubt I’m the only one. Thank you. So much.
I have tons of both - my father chose me as the scapegoat child - and signed me out for extra abuse - *because* I was autistic ... my hypersensitivity made tormenting me more "fun" for him ... However, in the years since his death, my C-PTSD symptoms have slowly receded - and a much more cheerful autistic personality has begun to emerge - though I still have anxiety about how I will fit in with the rest of the world ...
Same for me. I suspect my dad is a narcissist and has chosen my as a scapegoat due to my autism just because it doesn't fit his "ideal family" vision. I've heard from several family members that this was the reason he didn't and still doesn't like me. At least I know not to trust him anymore.
I was blessed with my two most abusive adult children abandoning me last month. They do not understand. Wanting me, begging me to be Normal. What a relief I can BE and grow unsupervised.
"Recognise that a person's "problematic" behaviors and responses may be their attempts to protect themselves and to cope with stress." Wow... how life could have been if this was recognized, and how much less "problematic" one would feel. Because that has always been the key word hasn't it, we're "problematic". I always thought, why am I problematic, I am just doing what I can to cope. It's so up-side down. You already struggle to cope, and then you have to go on and defend yourself for doing that, because it's problematic to most others in most situations.
@Pateck Aaron nobody here has that level. But I have been given superpowers by my Healing teacher, and I have developed an actual interest in others. Can converse somewhat better now. But maybe we will never be Normal. Would we want to e? Not me.
When you said “endless chain of broken relationships”, that sums up my life so far, unfortunately. I am really trying to break out of some of the unhealthy patterns I have developed over time through trauma. When I was a young kid, I was distant from other people but was so happy. Interpersonal and family trauma has burnt out my trust and emotion regulation. I never really learned to set boundaries or manage conflict so I feel like I have to build from the ground up :(
I'm so bad with relationships that i had to cut my family out completely from my life. It was tough to do at first, full of shame and guilt, but necessary.
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
The part of the video that clicked for me was realising that the more I heal my trauma, and live in a way that is supportive of my anxiety and depression, the more I experience the ability and safety to have self-stimming behaviours, engage in my special interests, and communicate with others in a way that works for me. Thank you for this video.
I spent the first 36 years of my life thinking all my issues were due to trauma from growing up. But since my last breakdown in summer 2021 and the assessment I had with a mental health nurse, I am now on the pathway to diagnosis for autism. This mental health nurse was the first person in my entire life who looked at my history, looked at ME and revealed that he saw autism in me. Since then every piece of autistic information I have read is like a lightbulb going off in my brain. How many times my “weirdness” or character traits have been ignored or misunderstood. It makes me feel like I am finally beginning to understand who I am and that there was never anything “wrong” with me! That all my life feeling different, now means that I understand I am different! Not in a frustrating and scary way, but in a way that I now know wasn’t my fault. I was treated terribly by my father especially growing up. Really hatefully and terribly, so I’ve spent my life thinking it’s just the trauma from that. I now understand whilst yes that was traumatic, I was also grossly underestimated and misunderstood. It’s videos like these that make me feel like I’m not alone. Thank you ❤
Same story, different person = me, but it was actually other "type-1" channels on youtube like this that made me take pause, say, "hey, that sounds eerily exactly like me," write out a big list of my lifetime of symptoms, and arrive at the conclusion that there's simply no way that I wasn't autistic; it's too off-the-charts.
Same story.... 70 Intense years ! Age 50, finally treated for ADD/ADHD. Depression, anxiety. No good results Age 65, yes you have CPTSD, but can't seem to figure it out, maybe just due to Cult upbringing and escape with chronic pain at 19. Now 70, Yes you = HSP. So the sadness, anxiety, burnout, meltdowns, anorexic silent despair was not me just being 'hi-strung' an crazy !! Mother said I was like an alien, never Normal ... Now find out, WHAT 😮 Hello, it has a name, deal with facts, so put this label on it: AuTISM Yes, be GOB-SMAaacked
I always thought it was just my anxiety, and ptsd/cptsd that was making my life hard. I’ve now been working on dealing with them, and wondered why it wasn’t completely explaining what was going on. Still not completely sure, but I feel like things are making a lot more sense, and it being autism actually explains some of those things that couldn’t be explained by anything else.
A good topic. I remember a video with Tony Attwood speaking of what he called' "Autism Pure" and then how through stress and circumstances, various disorders can pile on. This can be particularly the case for those of us not diagnosed early.
@@SuperLotus - Definitely sounds like the perfect word to describe my life too, but the quagmire would be blamed on me and my brothers with neither of our selfish, narcissistic parents willing to take any of the blame for the war zone they created.
This makes sense to me. I was diagnosed just before I turned 60. I had blamed my difficulties in life on my difficult upbringing, even though we appeared to be a model family without “problems”. But I never felt nurtured. Now I believe my mother was also autistic, but possibly she just suffered trauma herself as a child which impinged on her ability to mother. In hindsight I’d say her trauma and my autism affected how she mothered and today it is difficult to see where one starts and the other finishes, but the Venn diagram makes a lot of sense.
Even though we are far apart in terms of age, I understand you very well. I’m 21, was very recently diagnosed with both autism and cPTSD, and my mother was abusive. While she might be autistic too, I know for sure that she suffered a lot of trauma herself, making it really hard to tell whether autism is actually in the picture. I feel you.
Yeah sorta same. My parents tried their best and got better with time, but the early years still inadvertently fucked me up. I recently ran into a Buddhist concept that defines love as understanding, and it made everything click for me in a way the religion my parents tried to indoctrinate me into could never quite comprehend - if you wish well for someone but don't understand them, you are not capable of truly loving them.
I thought I just had PTSD but looking back I've been realizing I was also autistic from birth with that PTSD compounded upon me. It's such a confusing path, but this channel has been helping me a lot, thank you.
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
I was late diagnosed because I have c-ptsd and it was a lot more recognized than autism. I didn't get diagnosed until I had a total breakdown. The burnout was severe. I'm wondering now if autistic burnout could actually be the way ptsd shows up for us.
i think they tend to follow each other, but would say from personal experience the trauma developed before the burnout. but then the burnout in itself has become a trauma in and of itself because it was left untreated and left me dysfunctional and isolated for so many years.
I also got my autism diagnosed after c-ptsd and burnout, which was treated as depression. I had depression before and knew that this was different. I believe that the biggest trauma was caused by myself as I was masking and pleasing people and just couldn’t take it anymore. If I knew how to stay away from the wrong people and set my boundaries, a lot could be saved. I just wanted to be accepted. I feel like burnout is a stage of ptsd. It is our body’s response to trauma.
Nothing like a good cry on a Sunday morning because someone finally describes and understands your experiences. One way that I feel alien is that I need to cry to release my intense feelings, whether from PTSD or just being Autistic. People are upset by tears and are always either raising the fire alarm or doing anything, including being harsh, to get you to stop. Crying makes people uncomfortable and I need to cry to release energy and emotions, whether they are mine or ones I feel from empathizing to intensely with another being--so I constantly make people uncomfortable. I have two stims that society views as symptoms of anxiety and depression: I need to bounce one of my legs or I need to cry or shake my body. Most of my adult and adolescent life, even before I felt "generalized anxiety" and the paralyzing effects of my PTSD, I was told I was "anxious" and "nervous" because of my bouncing and also "dramatic" or a "crybaby" and "too sensitive." Because I was so easily upset, I quickly became a scapegoat for a variety of bullies in my life, including my older brother, my boyfriends, my friends, my teachers. I don't know how many times people told me how much "fun" it was to give me a "hard time" and tease me because I got so upset. I have found pockets of relief when my "symptoms" can become superpowers, such as showing up for others who are in distress. I don't always get it right, but my ability to just hang out and let others feel negative feelings without trying to fix them has definitely helped others and made me feel like I was worth something. I also don't know how to give short comments, or not overshare! Oops. I was curious if you use any sort of mindfulness practice for working some of the symptoms or characteristics you describe in this video. More specifically, I have found the most healing from reading the works of American Buddhist nun Pema Chodron, starting with _When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times_. I am currently reading _The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times_ for the fifth time in six years I think. I appreciate her teachings because you can listen or read a short chapter or teaching and "chew" on it in your soul and mind for months, it doesn't have to be something you sit down and read in a few weeks, or "check mark done" learn it and "I am fixed." I am curious what other Autistic folks or folks with PTSD may find helpful or not about her work: I find that as the world grows ever stranger and more uncertain, learning to have compassion and unconditional kindness towards all my thoughts, feelings, and experiences, really has helped me to heal myself from the constant trauma of living in a world "not designed for me." I have to keep returning to the lessons I learn, but she offers that sort of "trauma-informed" teachings that you speak about in this video. I will stop this short novel on your comments section now and hope it isn't the end of the world because you understand.
I relate so much to your comment, its content, length and depth of sharing, which I personally value and see as your power of courage to be who you are in a world that devalues sincerity and vulnerability. I value those highly and find them so very rare, like hidden gems in a rough and caustic world. You shine. Don't let the bullies tell you anything less.
This is perhaps the most relatable comment we've ever come across! For real for real! Ironically enough, you said everything so well (and my bed meds are kicking in hehe) so I don't actually feel the need to write a sequel to your wonderful little "novel"! People have regularly commented on my comments just to say I wrote a whole book.... Which tends to be true, but it always seemed like such an odd thing to go out of their way to just state that I wrote a long comment! I know people judge me for it. A lot. And I just wanted to say that I really really enjoyed someone else on the interwebs saying so much relatable! It's funny, we have DID and EDS so we've been happy to find others like us online but kept feeling like we still hadn't found anyone else who loves to share like we do and writes long comments tehehes... We suspect now that we are autistic, it would make so much more sense of things, but yeah, it's just so refreshingly wonderful to stumble upon someone else online who writes seeking to share and otherwise relatable! It really makes us glad inside our soul to know we aren't the only human in existence who loves to share ;) Thanks so much for sharing your comment! :)
Thank you @Jennifer Reisch this was totally relatable... yeah bullied for being too sensitive and easily distressed when younger, especially by one of my brothers. My naivety a source of amusement and my empathy and compassion for others meant I was quick to defend and advocate for them but not myself. I just could never comprehend how people could have bad intentions because I didn't and if I'd done nothing to them why would they be mean to me? I've been confused my whole life. I've had a massive awakening the last few years and have learnt to very painfully face the truth about human beings, about my childhood and repeated traumas and wounds I carry; about the people I attract who deliberately set about taking advantage of me and just don't care about the consequences. I've woken up and it's been a bitter pill to swallow and I wonder if I could ever process, integrate and release these traumas I've experienced, I'm seeing a Psych but I've seen plenty before and no help really. I'm concerned I may never really step outside my door again beyond appointments and shopping and making friends, meeting someone like-minded, even having a relationship with someone genuine all seems like fantasies now... Thank you to Paul too, I appreciate your channel and I feel less alone reading the comments here🙏💜🌸
I feel about the comment about others finding my crying to be anxiety inducing. I finally had to tell someone close to me to please let go of any anxiety and/or feelings that they had to 'fix' me or the situation, and please let me cry as it can be so incredibly cathartic... all I wanted was them to be present with me. I apologized and asked them the best I could to just sit with me and listen, hug me, and just reassure me it's going to be OK. I know deep down that it will work out, but the emotions can be so incredibly overwhelming and intense it's so hard to see that light at the other end of the tunnel. I'm trying to find the right combination of things to make me not quite as sensitive/emotional, but the sensitivity has always been a part of me... I've learned to just feel it. Bottling it up, suppressing it... to me feels more severe long term than to acknowledge it and release it... and sometimes I just need someone there to validate me, as strange as it may sound to them. I need to feel heard and I need to feel seen. (I would of thought this was a given, but perhaps we are all conditioned on a very subconscious level to withhold it for fear of it damaging our reputation. I wish we all could feel free to be our authentic selves.)
I grew up in an abusive household, I was bullied in school, I developed narcissistic personality traits that I mostly healed through finding good friends where I learned how to take care of relationships, . during my upbringing I had recurring depressions and I began to think I might be bipolar. It wasn't until I had nervous breakdown a few years ago my difficulties became so many and my coping skills vanished completely that I began searching for serious help. After many years of misdiagnosis (bipolarism, borderline, mentalization based therapy that didn't help and loads of different medications that didn't help we finally arrived at autism and ADHD, but I have been questioning it's accuracy because of how some of my issues became visible because of the serious trauma I experienced, and it took a long time for me to see the internal problems I had before my breakdown. So I have often thought maybe I was sub threshold autistic during my upbringing, but because of my severe burnout I entered diagnosable autism territory. either way I finally have the hope I might be able to live a bearable life, and maybe even might be able to thrive. Life is still not easy, I'm still struggling with the most basic things and I seem fully normal and functioning to most people I know, even my closest friends, masking is a grey area where I'm not sure I'm even fully aware at what level I mask. i'm at home alone 95% of the time, I just had my mother over and I felt physically ill while she was here, but after a while of engaging in my interests in hyperfocus I was back to baseline.
Thank you for sharing, I can relate to a lot of what you said. But what kind of narcissistic traits are you talking about? I'm curious because they're usually very contrary to autistic traits. .
I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and PTSD before Aspergers (now ASD-1). So yes, having that my whole life definitely led to the others. Mostly, it’s how other (neurotypical) people react to you and treat you as less than because they can’t possibly try to meet you halfway even though you attempt to meet them all the way every time. I think schools need to start teaching neurotypical people empathy.
Neurotypicals have little empathy. Wehn they accuse autistic people of having none, they are merely projecting. Any empathy they have is usually superficial.
My memory is affected, so I will watch this again and again. To remind me of my truth. This is so informative and inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing and caring, Paul.
I loved this. Especially the part about what a happy and healthy autistic person could look like where I felt like maybe I could imagine a future for myself where *I* am happy and confident while still being as weird and wacky as I am now! Plus, as someone who has been through trauma it was a wonderful reminder that trauma can be healed.
Always remember that if the world treats you like you're weird, you can always treat them like they're the ones who are weird or we can all learn to accept that there are different people in the world.
I also think if parents expect and put pressure on their child to be and act in Neurotypical ways, it is very traumatizing . There can be so many issues that overlay an individual such as sensory integration issues, ADHD, asd, trauma, bipolar, bpd etc
Due to varied and extreme trauma during childhood, I struggled with CPTSD to such an extent that I tried to kill myself in my teens. I felt incredibly disconnected from my body and was perpetually exhausted emotionally from having to constantly mask how little I understood or was understood by my peers. I've grown fascinated by the shocking similarities between my character traits and those of Aspies.
@shitukabir1635-- That's wonderful. I'm very glad for your child. Luckily, the majority of my CPTSD symptoms have resolved and those that haven't, fully, are in the process of doing so.
I have been diagnosed with depression & anxiety, then bipolar, then BPD, then a year later complex PTSD. Last Saturday I met with a mental health person I hadn’t seen before and she suggested I get tested for autism, if I felt comfortable doing so. I’m a 37 year old woman and for the first time ever I feel like I finally have answers for why I’ve spent my life feeling the way I feel…it’s as shocking to me as being told told I’m adopted and that’s not to make light of people in that situation…that’s how shocked I feel.
Cant wait! If we can add the epigenetics, cluster-b and autoimmune paradigm/models, my work here is done. It’s all simultaneously true and mythological. We humans love making patterns. But I’m trying not to get trapped in a definition. Spiral growth, everyone!!! We are doing this!! Whoohoo!
I hear you. I’ve had friends tell me they were pretty sure I was an Aspie, and I thought maybe I was, too. But I asked my therapist (an MD) about it, and he said I’m not…it’s just that I have a lot of the same symptoms because of constant childhood trauma.
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
My mother has undiagnosed ASD and ADHD and I wish I could to talk to her, but she isn't comforting. I have been officially diagnosed with both. I feel so sad and frustrated because I live where trauma has happened and can't move away because it's too expensive. I feel so trapped and helpless.
Keep going!! Find friends t9 share with, new or existing friends. You will get there. I know how you feel about living there and relationship with your mom. Its tough but you can do it.
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
Where my current source of therapy keeps falling short, you're here always to pick up the pieces! I feel very lucky for the parts in my journey to acceptance that you have been able to help me fill in, and made me help bridge this period of coming to terms with my conditions, especially where my therapists had nothing to offer me. Thank you immensely.
I have to be honest and say I laughed at Ill Gill Bates, if it was a reference to Bill Gates. There's one thing *NOT WRONG WITH US* and it's our sense of humour that is unique, different, a little broken (mine) and probably been leant on to survive thru the times.
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
We’re looking into this now too. Pretty sure I have cPTSD issues. Besides the fact that autistic people can feel traumatized by even “lesser” events, I’ve had a few actual traumatic events in my life, and along with the late diagnosis AND I am very likely ADHD TOO, I figure I’m pretty much a shoe-in for the PTSD stuff. I’m thinking I’m going to start adding all the acronyms I’ve accumulated after my name in emails etc. Maybe people will confuse them with with accreditation initials and think I’m just insanely intelligent and educated. 🤪
🤣 Omigoodness I love you & this sooo much! This is EXACTLY my experience & situation too & I mean, man, the acronyms...LOL Thank you for making me smile-You have not idea how much I needed that right now...💕
there's a link between us. you are more than twice my age, and yet we have a connection despite so little else in common. we don't need to explain ourselves, and can be ourselves openly here where we are understood where it matters most. thank you for your service, sir-- in MORE than the military. you have been a warrior your whole life, sir.
I've been diagnosed with c-ptsd, but not autism and ADHD, which I've now come to realise, I fit the bill for. This came about after years of trauma recovery therapy and following the clues through other family members getting diagnosed with Autism and/or identifying with the symptoms of ADHD. I'm going to pursue diagnosis. Although I had a chaotic, frightening and neglected childhood and grew up with parents with disordered attachment (which I inherited), I have worked so hard to mask, (which I got severe burnout from, and yet helped me develop socially, as well) to get my frontal lobes online ( books are probably how I survived my childhood and how I ended up as sane as I am) and to create a life that isn't so overloading that I cannot function. I now have a fullfilling relationship with another neurodiverse and trauma-recovering person. I I love your channel. Very comforting and informative. Thank you.
I think I might be autistic and am feeling very overwhelmed by the possible symptoms stacking up so I could really use this video! Great topic; just what I need!
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
Thank you for talking about this. The part where you described a healthy autistic person without trauma is still autistic. Even if I didn't have the ptsd that I do.... and I was completely rid of any pain, blame, guilt, trauma etc... I'd still have autistic symptoms!! Wow! What a revelation!
i'm 29 and have seen therapists on and off since i was 6. only now am i exploring the possibility of having both autism and cptsd with a psychologist. i still have a lot of imposter syndrome regarding both, feeling like i don't struggle enough and that any trauma wasn't severe enough to count. i got quite emotional watching this video. thank you.
This is such a great topic. And one that I've been obsessing about a little, too. Having read Pete Walker's CTPSD. From Surviving to Thriving, I started having doubts whether I was autistic at all. Maybe I'm just traumatized, and a huge nerd, but otherwise typical? Not that it makes any difference, but I just looove to know stuff, just for the sake of it. And you are absolutely right, traumatic experiences we may have had as children, whether we are autistic or not, are not always connected to a clear memory of one, particular, "big T" traumatic event (one reason being, like you said, people may not remember the "big T", and the other that they underwent a series of micro-traumas, i.e. exposure to some adverse circumstances). Thence the concepts of "cPTSD" and "emotional flashbacks", not very academic but pretty handy! Somehow, I find it hard to imagine an autistic person without a level of complex trauma baggage. All humans have had traumatic experiences, even ones that seem small from the adult perspective, like falling of a bike or your pet dying, and all the more so sensitive individuals, which would include people on the spectrum. For example, as a kid I was bullied because of my quirks, disregularion and poor communication skills, which was a huge stressor for me because I yearned to be accepted - so was the issue here autism- or trauma-related? Could be both, intertwined.
Im so confused i don't know whether i just have cptsd or both cptsd and autistic or both cptsd and highly sensitive person. Cptsd Autism and HSP kind of similar. What im sure i have cptsd due to childhood sexual abuse.
@@reinas9666 it's better to be Undiagnosed. The NIHI people will take our BRAINS for study after we die....for "research's..."to help us, and peoe like us" No! Thanks! It's a law.
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
I don’t even remember a lot of my childhood. It’s all a blur with flashes of some things here and there, mostly in 3rd person as if I was dissociated the whole time. There was trauma, but I only remember generalities and not specifics.
I really only found my autism to be a problem when it was undiagnosed. That took 30+ years but it is what it is. Oddly, I had to figure it out for myself. I personally have little faith in modern day medicine. Especially, with the behavioral sciences.
My sister and I are identical twins and we are perfect personifications of this diagram. She's had life long trauma, not autistic. I've had trauma too, but I've healed (mostly) and cope fairly well as an autistic/aspie. Excellent presentation! Thank you.
Having a professional say you are the expert about your own life .What a breath of fresh air I grew up with Freudian psychiatry which didnt take mw seriously .They had a lot of beliefs about me that were crazy
I'm 61 years old, female and was diagnosed with Austism/Apergers' Syndrome last month. I sought diagnosis as I had identified myself as Autistic through research and a life of anxiety, depression, eating disorders, suicide attempts and utter exhaustion! Paul investigated and explained the relationship between Autism and Trauma so well. Thank you! This information is so vital to understanding ourselves as Autistics and working through years of cumulative, negative experiences. Again, thank you so much, Paul!!
Wow. I can tick off the whole list of all these symptoms. I have an extreme neurotic personality and struggle with relating to people normally, perpetually feeling like an alien. I tend to overwhelm others with information and struggle with withholding my thoughts and opinions when I should. I once had enormous energy and social interactions were fun and natural, occasionally learning people were surprised by me just walking off when I think things are done, instead of recognizing if they’re done or not. I studied the interactions and expected responses of others around me constantly. I’ve always shifted my behaviors to become more positive with others but as an adult this has been extremely difficult to do, because I have a lot of severe fear reactions to things that I’m barely aware of and struggling to recognize in time to hopefully curb the reactions. I recognized quickly that my behavior when I began university was extremely different from my behavior at the end of it. My behavior changed even further since then: after repeated hospitalizations, surgeries, and social isolation. I have *always* had emotions that exist in an all or nothing state, have had extremely contradictory abilities and weaknesses, *love* doing ritualistic and rhythmic behaviors, and have extreme enjoyment of delving into learning and working on specific things, even though I now realize some of the delving into topics has also been a protective mechanism, to shield myself from the stressful environment I grew up in and continue to live in. So I’m pretty sure at this point it’s both. After all, most of my behaviors and experiences can be explained with autism, or most of them with OCD, or most of them with ADHD, or most of them with PTSD, but the least complex explanation for *all* my quirks and issues together is autism plus trauma, but it doesn’t rule out the possibility of anything else on top of it.
It all makes so much sense now, It feels like you are speaking of everything I have not been able to explain for myself or others in a comprehensive summary way before. It feels like I finally realize that I might have Autism, Adhd, Autism Trauma, and PTSD in a very complex way that I haven't been able to fully explain or understand and know for sure until now. Since I started to watch your videos it feels like I can relate to at least 99% of all the content I've seen so far on your channel. Your sharing brings so much clarity and understanding and helps me (and hopefully a lot of others as well) to recognize, understand, accept, and heal deeper parts of my childhood, adolescence, and puberty that needed more attention, understanding, love, and healing. Thank you for sharing this valuable helpful content and I wish that everyone that feels incapable, misunderstood, hurt, and traumatized in any way finds the best way possible to function properly, finds their optimal way to complete healing, and finds deeper understanding about themselves and others and finally be able to create and receive true love and acceptance in their lives. Wish you all the best and thanks once again for sharing this mind-opening content!
thank you for speaking so eloquently and assertively on our behalf. I'm 51 and a failure in the eyes of my family and long gone friends. Your channel is helping me find myself after a lifetime of feeling misunderstood and bullied.
The elephant in the room is our school system. It just blows my mind that people don't even question the rightness and need for this gargantuan trauma-engine.
Videos like this one are the exact reason that that refer to you first during my weekly podcast to show both sides of the neurological worlds that you explain the traits so well!! 🎉
You are a wonderful ambassador for autistic community, with excellent resources and information. Thanks for your empathy and compassion. So appreciate it.
Thank you for this fantastic video. Iam in the autistic spectrum myself with a comormidity of ADHD. PTSD seems to play a huge role. I work as a empathic therapist (systemic constellation). Working with my clients often resembels my own inner strugles. Espacially with trauma. Because I understand and feel my clients so well, I can go along with them in a very special way. This video helped my, to understand the link between autism and PTSD. I might integrate it into my work after some more research. So thank you very much!
I'm so grateful for this video! I am not on the spectrum however you said trauma can lead to autism like symptoms and that explains everything! THANK YOU!
Thank you so much for this! Recently discovered I was autistic after burn out 7 years ago, yet I found out on my own after I was told I 'just' had anxiety/depression/PTSD for no reason...
Thank you for your excellent synthesis of two complex topics and their interrelarionships. I appreciate how you have integrated polyvagal theory, and clearly defined your terms. As a clinician who has complex trauma on the spectrum, I find that the current offerings in the mental health community often further traumatize those on the spectrum because they deny or are unaware of the needs of autistic patients. My goal is to make constructive change, and that change begins by awareness of the issues involved. Showing us a glimpse of healthy thriving autistic people is a start. We can not only thrive, but go on to be valuable assets to our communities. I thank you for your insight, and for your courage to share your experience. It echoes my own.
I had an abusive stepparent from ages 10 to 15 and when we left him my mom took me to a counselor and I was diagnosed with PTSD. I remember trying to tell her that a lot of these things that she was asking me about were things that were happening long before we ever met this abusive person, but she wouldn’t listen to me and disregarded me. This video is very helpful for me to see the differences and similarities. I am definitely autistic and I definitely have had trauma. I worked for years with different therapist on my complex PTSD and never got as much from it as I felt I needed. Now I’m realizing that I’ve actually made a lot of progress overcoming my traumas, and I just need to be more understanding with myself.
th-cam.com/channels/L8Tawls84nezPDtqOzOfCg.html 👆use the link to get the best herbal remedy for ASD this doc herbs has helped my child and since I used his herbs my child is now verbal and his social skill has improved. My child call dad, mama and what he wants.
On such a great video as this one my comments seem pathetic. The usual "good video, buddy" seems like an injuctice. This channel is helping me unravel the lifelong mystery of it all and is giving me the spunk to share all this with my family. Well, I'm not quite there, but...in time, I hope. So a big "thank you" to the creator who put so much time and effort into a channel that deserves so much more love. Aspees Eternum! 😁
Just starting my journey of re-organizing my life filters and wanted to let you know that you're really threading the needle here and I want to commend you and encourage you on this path. You will save SO MANY lives, metaphorically and literally.
Excellent, I was really looking for this information and needed to know that the two have common traits, but that they need to be worked on each level. I wish I could find the right therapist. I have spent my time and money going to people who don't understand complex trauma and don't understand autism, especially in women. It brought to a state of despair and I lost any motivation to stay alive. People like you give me hope, but they're hard to find, especially in Europe.
The more I learn about PTSD the more I’m sure I’ve been through it. I had a traumatic injury had flashbacks for years. I’m talking suddenly gasping back into reality after spending 10 seconds just hearing my screams and _feeling_ the snow start to burn my skin from over exposure. I’ve pretty much recovered from what I can tell but it feels good to have a label for it other than just “thinking about an injury too much.”
For years I've felt a strong affinity to people on the Spectrum, even though I've never been officially diagnosed. My parents refused to see the positive aspects you mentioned here. To them, my issues were just personality quirks that I should be able to overcome. When I tried to tell them otherwise, they told me not to be defeatist, and to just try harder. Toward the end of his life, my dad finally admitted that I'd had these traits since early childhood, but they never got me tested because they hoped I'd just outgrow them. Most probably they were also afraid of what a diagnosis would have meant for me, growing up in the 1960's when ASD wasn't nearly as well understood. I can't say I blame them for not having me tested, but constantly invalidating my attempts to share how I felt left me with very low self esteem that I still struggle with to this day. I know they meant well, but I wish they had simply taken me seriously and had my back as parents should. Anyway, thanks so much for another excellent video!
I have 29 years of CPTSD. My Asberger's tries my CPTSD. I have been working on both problems for a year. Thank you to you Paul. Keep up your great work. Helps alot
@@pus915 I'm sorry I don't know how to spell words correctly. I just have spell check. Looked right to me thank you for letting me know I will try editing 🙏🌞
@@FeliciaShare nah I'm just saying that because there was a whole South Park episode and they said assburgers instead of aspergers. Just thought it was funny
This is the kind of information that is exactly what someone needs, but impossible to find. Thank you for putting it out there in a very digestible format on a very accessible site.
I have CPTSD and got misdiagnosed through mental health services for years, then just recently had my autism assessment and got abused as part of it. I was dismissed based on ignorance and pseudoscience because the services in my area are underfunded and under investigation for extremely low diagnosis rates. So frustrated but going to keep fighting (sadly) to get what I deserve. This dynamic is reflective of the abuse I've experienced for being autistic - i.e. not believed, not listened to, dismissed. I'm so sick of fighting. I'm documenting the journey on my channel anyway so I just hope it can help others in the future who will inevitably end up in the same position. Thanks for your content Paul.
Hi, I also have CPTSD, but since my kids got diagnosed with ASD, I've wondered if I could be dealing with both.. I realize neither of us are experts, but since you also deal with this kind of stuff, what do you think?
@@a_diamond It’s my understanding that many parents get diagnosed after realising their child has ASC (ASC = Autism Spectrum Condition - I made the distinction because disorder pathologises it). Have a look at the diagnostic criteria and take some online tests. It’s certainly a strong possibility that the trauma you experienced was because you were different. There’s nothing wrong with being autistic. If that’s the case, you can understand yourself better and your children. Hope that helps!
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
Very helpful, Paul, from both standpoints separately as well as together. I also work with a lot of traumatized people, ASD or not. The trauma as well as the autism explanations are probably the most clear I've seen. This was much more clear than most trauma training. As someone also having ADHD, I had no trouble [well, I paused a couple of times] watching this long. The graphics helped, rather than overwhelmed me, which is usually a big issue. Your timing in speaking and in the visuals was also good, not at all overwhelming. I hope that some day you re-visit the ASD-ADHD comparison video after this same format!!! Thanks!
I pity those three souls who downvoted this, this is so great and informative. I'm in treatment because of cPTSD-caused depressions and have recently found out that I show significant traits of Asperger as well, which actually feels like a biiig relief. I always felt something about me was WRONG despite all the progress I made in therapy, and knowing I'm not wrong. Now I think to know what this feeling is. I'm not wrong, I'm just very DIFFEENT. Phew. I can breathe again. This video was great and very clear and helped a lot. Thanks a ton!
I’ve been thru interesting experiences myself and I’ll share my story. My son was left borderline autistic after a flu shot. He also developed a skin rash after the vaccine. No doctor was able to help me and I spent great amounts of money going from “expert” to “expert” along with medicine and supplements. Nothing worked! During his early elementary years, he was isolated and had no friends. In fact nobody came to his birthday party. It was very painful for me to watch him suffer. I remember driving home in tears after visiting him at the playground. After many years of struggle, I felt the need to throw the towel and I said to God, he’s all yours. If this is your Will, let it be. I wasn’t religious back then, but somehow I felt the need to get closer to God. The more I prayed, the more I saw a miracle unfolding before my own eyes. He slowly changed. By the end of elementary he made one friend. Thru middle school he made two friends and by the end of HS, he was the school’s student body President. For this reason I have more faith in God than any therapy or magic pill. Many people rush to think this is trauma or genetics, etc. This is not always the case. My son is the second of three children and the only one who got the flu shot. The other two never had a problem with behavior nor skin rashes. I was with my children all the time, and I know the moment something definitely went wrong. I’m glad is over and thankful for the experience. I just wanted to bring awareness that with God everything is possible.
Thank you. This is so helpful. I'm in my 40s, diagnosed with CPTSD about 6 years ago. I have worked through a lot of the trauma triggers, but I'm starting to realize how much I still struggle and how much relief I have gotten from addressing sensory sensitivities lately (reducing occurrence of panic attacks or a need to remove myself from uncomfortable places)-- wearing earplugs, using lamps in my office, etc. And as I've begun to explore more about my childhood, I wonder if I might be autistic. But my major point of confusion has been around the differences between CPTSD and Autism.
Thank you, Paul. Before I started school, I was happy, but then, once I started school, my life became very different. I was bullied by so many kids and I became quite anxious and upset by so many things. I remember, in my first week at school, kids would come up to me and roar like lions. I have complex PTSD issues, as well as autism and I find that engaging in my autistic special interests helps me.
This was so interesting and informative. I suffer from complex ptsd and I didn’t know the correlation to autistic symptoms. I was an occupational therapist working with children on the spectrum for many years and it was always so apparent that we just understood each other. Parents could not understand why their child felt more comfortable with me than themselves. I wish I had known this information then, it would have broken less hearts...I think. I have been watching many of your videos and I think this is such important work. Perhaps you will help the world accept differences and treat each other with love and kindness.💜
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
Well this video was heart-wrenching to watch. I relate to just about every single trait on BOTH sides of the diagram. I got my autism diagnosis just a week ago almost exactly on my 30th birthday. It helped me realise how the awful experiences I've been through all my life weren't just my own weakness, but really were valid. I had a teacher in school who used to give me detention every single day. She punished me constantly just for being myself. No one ever took my word for anything especially if someone else told different versions of events, but I was always the one telling the truth. I've been treated like I'm a problem my whole life. I was held to a higher standard than other kids because of my intelligence, yet barely anyone had any sympathy for my emotions and were always harder on me for any mistakes - the combination resulting in my experience being at least four times as difficult as the other kids even BEFORE taking into account the fact I had a disability. It's hopeful but also painful to find out that the world was wrong - that I've actually been the victim of constant ablism all this time.
I grew up in a loving environment and was diagnosed very early, but even then there were moments where I just wasn't respected and moments where I just couldn't function, especially on long journeys. It's really surprising to see a comparison made to trauma, and I hope I don't have any lasting issues from it, just life experience. I'm just generally a happy person.
Thank you so much for this video. It resonated with me so much. I am autistic and have CPTSD, and when I started working with a somatic practitioner who based their practice on polyvagal theory and embodied those principles you mentioned, it was exactly like you described: I was being met for the first time with respect and compassion. It made all the difference, and I could finally relax and learn how to regulate my nervous system.
This was a great video, Paul. Thank you so much for analyzing this subject so thoroughly. As someone who has been profoundly affected by PTSD since childhood and also unaware of my autism until later in life, this journey has been extremely tough. But watching videos like yours certainly helps put things into some sort of perspective and I would anticipate that this video can also be of good value to many other autistic people too. I watch your videos every week and you are doing a fine job. People like your good self do not grow on trees and are invaluable to the autistic community. As I'm sure you are fully aware, it is wonderful to discover someone who really gets it with regards to autistic related difficulties. Keep up the good work and thanks again!
It's a short video but I swear I had to spend an hour to absorb the information it contains.😢 I kept having to rewind because I kept having roaming thoughts. So triggering but excellent information on the whole.
I never heard the remark "you are the expert on your own conditions" until I started my first neurological rehab ever. Here I am respected and they actually listen to me and try to provide the help in the ways needed. Your video is super helpful. Thx so much.
Paul! I just realised that all my seeking for what caused my probles was in the wrong direction. I allways tought I had a trauma but I didn't remember what was that? I hadn't a too good childhood but nothing special. Something was clearly missing from the solution. Now I realised that all my "trauma" simptomes started at a very young age. Actually they were allways with me. Now I day by day know better and better that I have autism. Now I just need a diagnosis.
Thank you for this video! My best friend has autism and some trauma as well, and this video helped me to understand him and his behaviour more. I got some tips as well, how to support him on this complex world with full of injustice towards autistic people. Thank you!
When you described the healthy happy autistic person at 12:00 I almost cried. It was so validating. I still struggle with some anxiety and some trauma, but what you described is so validating to how I am.
I think I might have trauma as a result of speaking out against ableism years ago and all of my friends dismissing me. I feel very humiliated and let down. Often very angry. Sometimes suicidal about it. I just think of their smug declarations of "This isn't a big deal." As if I didn't research for years before even opening my mouth and I need them to tell me what's a big deal and what's not. I feel villified and awful. And they think they are right and I am just having a tantrum out of nowhere. It's so isolating.
I’ve gone undiagnosed my whole life but I recently opened up online about so much of my struggles. I got recommended to this channel just yesterday and this video was so comforting to see. This has truly been a blessing🙏🏾Ty so much
Excellent video. I started suspecting I was on the spectrum when I felt I had worked through complex trauma sustained in early childhood and again in my teenage years, and then again as a young adult yet to this day, at 31, I still run into problems with relating to people, maintaining friendships and the drain from what I have identified as masking. I still shut down in certain situations, I still feel overwhelmed at times, I still obsess over ultra niche stuff that brings me joy or stimulates me intellectually, I still do the happy heel bounce and hand flutter or can't seem to stop whistling/singing. But at the same time, I am worried that therapists will blame it all on trauma and won't take me seriously - as a trans man I am often seen as a tomboy and the "autism is a boy disorder" is still going strong.
This is powerful. 13:41-14:03 When I have suicidal meltdowns, I am down at the very most basic elements of trying to stop seeing myself as bad and deserving of isolation and abandonment. I hate myself and want to die (in those moments). I really appreciate you sharing this information, because although I'm making progress in my healing journey, the meltdowns continue as I try to figure out (and stick to) the preventative measures. Thank you again!
This is exactly the combination of topics that I've sought out but found nowhere: trauma & complex trauma, adult autism (because somehow 90% of resources are for children????) This channel is exceptionally good, keep it up Paul!
I can certainly see similarities to my own experience. Many things which would be a minor and temporary problem to others would be trauma for me. The memories from such events can haunt me for years and cause permanent terror of a certain person, place, or situation. In cases that seem to be my fault, the guilt, shame, and even physical distress can last for months, or even years. My exceptional long term memory can be a curse more than a blessing. Lately my rheumatologist has told me that I have an autoimmune disorder, so perhaps the emotional symptoms can lead to physical ones.
Oh, I would agree on how the constant stress impacts our health. Maybe its because I'm stressed so often, I don't pay as much attention to my emotional state as I should. I often don't realize how stressed I am until I start manifesting physical symptoms of my stress.
Man this was an eye-opener I didn't know I needed. I've connected my symptoms to c-ptsd for a while in some way, but it felt wrong. some symptoms also overlap with Borderline Personality Disorder, which was suspected by psychiatrists and me, too, at some point. Not too long ago I've been diagnosed with asperger's and your videos have helped me understand serveral key things about myself. Thanks for explaining the stuff in a truly relatable way.
This is what I’m in the middle of af this moment. Started trauma therapy (emdr) last week for some events that I’d say any “normal” person wouldn’t develop traumatic response to or would be able to process it in small time and move on at least. I have really fought off the term trauma, because in my mind it doesn’t fit, it’s more an over-reacting or the autistic response or lack of processing. But then where there’s smoke there must be a source, and if it does keep on bothering in the day to day life it probably should be addressed. The emdr is a draining experience, having to follow the light with my eyes is over-stimulating on it’s own-we might change to a different type of stimulus (auditive of tactile) if it keeps having that effect. I’m curious about the content of this video. (After seeing the content) I can really resonate with this. Thank you so much Paul, this is more or less the information I would like my environment to know (but at this point I’m still too unsure of my identity to do so, still finding my way since being diagnosed december 2019, at 25 years then)
@@gracelewis6071 she said she wants to try the lights a few times more, since they are supposedly most effective. I’m sort of imagining her with moving a pen and I think this would make her job a lot harder. They’re experienced in working with autistic adults with this technique so I suppose (or really hope anyways) we’ll find a way that works without being completely drained for the next 3 days following.
@@beknight9399 so nice that you found that to work for you! Since my experiences have to do a lot with touch/sensory stuff I kind of suspect this to not be a good option for me. But who knows.. :)
Thank you for this very informative video, I am 70 years old and always knew there was something not right in my world. I have realised only in the last 2 years exactly what it is - both autism and CPTSD. This video confirmed my thoughts, better late than living in fear and all the other symptoms for the rest of my life. Take care and thanks so much once again xx
Thank you Pearl for helping me understand more about trauma in autism. I have been very curious for a long time about autism and trauma and I didn’t know they had overlapped.
Thank you so much! As I told you before, I am still suffering from my mom’s death but this article not only helped me, it helped my dad understand me better.
Loving the newer higher production value on this video as opposed to earlier videos of yours. Love the amount of research and detail. This definitely resonated with me having been officially diagnosed with both PTSD and ASD, and also the MDD and GAD that seem so incredibly common. I was also one of the late diagnosed females who was incorrectly diagnosed as well, so I wholeheartedly support the dialogue from the Autistic community to help better inform and break down the walls of stigma. (I really should start making a list of all the wonderful advocates within our community. You all give so much and it's so greatly appreciated. After official diagnosis it was not only listening to many individuals online express themselves, but advocates who were producing online material that helped me better understand my diagnosis and really start to come to terms with it... moreso than any professional therapy/counseling I've had thusfar. Thank you SO so much. Much love.)
I had a shrink ask me if I'd been through any traumatic experiences and I told him that I generally found LIFE to be a traumatic experience.
well put
I have to be honest and admit I let out a massive snorty laughter and thought 'Yeah.. This sounds like my whole life too, where life = traumatic existence!' I'd also said this many a time to a doctor, consultant or other bods from the medical zone trying to decipher us!
As for laughing and a bizarre sense of humour, if I didn't laugh at stuff (inappropriately at times) I don't think I'd be alive hear today typing this.
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The thing with this question, at least as a female if you answer yes, typically they will then diagnose Borderline Personality Disorder without taking in any other information and subsequent answers to questions will be colored by that answer. There needs to be way more knowledge and research into personality and way less stigma and knee jerk responses to women and trauma. Also, trauma doesn't mean you're an idiot and it also doesn't mean you are a hurtful, spiteful person. Someone with Mensa level IQ could come from a traumatic background... it doesn't mean they are flawed or broken... but for whatever reason we seem to think people who went through trauma to be less than, regardless of evidence otherwise.
@@danicastein7660 Funny thing you mention this here. Back in 2005 when I was 17 I was diagnosed correctly with Asperger’s syndrome (ASD wasn’t a thing back then). But then I had a different therapist give me the dreaded Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosis in 2008 because she said “Females can’t have Aspergers.” It then took me another few years to reclaim my correct diagnosis but even then it was back and forth. Now my medical shed has both. And it’s vague too. It says Autism Spectrum Disorder and Personality disorder (no specific one mentioned) mood disorder nos, generalized anxiety disorder and my personal favorite complex PTSD. I don’t think I have a personality disorder since I don’t think I have anything that goes with Borderline Personality aside from being a former self harm but it was head banging and not cutting and I have never felt suicidal and in fact I have thanatophobia.
Autistic people are often bullied, rejected and discriminated against just for being different. So autism and trauma often go together.
I was speaking with an advocate the other day and I explained to her how having autism as a child allowed my brain to survive years of abuse. I don't think I would have survived with my sanity if I had not been on the spectrum.
@Dahl L I feel that the lack of "normal" emotional content and response when I was a child that accompanied the ASD actually helped preserved my core identity. I lacked emotional response in a lot of instances, and always seemed to be able to recuperate in my inner cognitive sanctum. It was still quite a difficult journey and lots of therapy, but I strongly feel if I'd had "standard" emotional function I would have been much more vulnerable to sociopathy, suicide, etc, the types of outcomes often seen with severe childhood abuse.
I agree with this and can relate to that- but I also think it made me more vulnerable. I did present with the "signs" of trauma growing up, outside of my standard behavior that was already regarded as "odd". Even though Autism may have brought me some resilience, I would have liked it if I could community something was wrong so an adult could intervene...
@@Snackattac very much agree--my ASD vulnerabilities were running parallel to residual trauma issues like PTSD, and both are still a factor to a fair degree for me, though I have been enabled through much of the current focus on helping ASD individuals, esp as they become adults, where the social support seems to drop off in the past and is only really being addressed now. I made a path through to a semi normal life, can support myself, but a price was paid that might have been softened had social support been in place esp around the high school and college years to help ensure a good launch. I had a lot of misfires, as many of us do.
I feel like if i was NT i would become extremely mean and resentful.
That is quite interesting. I happen to find myself in the same situation and I’ve never thought in this way
THIS!! THIS is what I've been waiting for as I grew up in a mentally & emotionally toxic environment where I was traumatised and yet victimised for another persons problems as well as my own autistic problems and made to feel ashamed for how I was hence the reason I suspect I also suffer with cPTSD. The shame and blame was enough to make me feel suicidal... even as a kid.
I think autistic people are a very easy target for abusive people in general and abusive parents in particular. In my case I had a narcissistic mother and an alcoholic borderline father. As I was very gifted when I was a child I got much attention from my father and this caused my mother to be jealous and try to destroy everything I was and she was not.
paulo c my dad was not like yours but the same patern here ! A narcissistic mom and a dad who gives me a lot of attention (at first) and the jalousie of my mom !
@@paulocl2 - I, unfortunately, had two selfish and narcissistic parents who could barely look after themselves, or each other, never mind 3 kids and my parents divorced when I was 5 yo. Even back then I thought 'Ah so my Dad's leaving, at least the fighting and arguing will end and the doors and walls won't get kicked in after big fights!' Little did I realise that that was the beginning of the *REAL PROBLEMS* my life would endure - a bit like the calm before the storm that lasted for 20 years until I felt so crushed and destroyed that my only way ahead was suicide, so I pushed against so much and decided I'd rather be out and alone rather than with people who still hated me.
My mother simply went off the rails, making my fragile young life even more terrifying with me thinking 'If she can't look after herself, how can she look after me!?' That's the type of thinking no 5-6 year old needs to be concerned with. So with her going off the rails, and cos I wasn't out playing like my older brothers (7 & 9 yo,) as I was 5 years old, a lot of my mother's anger and aggression was directed at me and I was called clingy, mocked & bullied for being shy, told to snap out of it, mocked over my behaviour, repeatedly told in a vile and aggressive manner that there was something wrong with me and the other usual things people say when they've ruined their own lives and seek to blame others.
I went thru my whole life feeling and knowing something was wrong with me but my issues were always nullified by someone I felt hated me hence the reason I felt suicidal on and off from the age of 6-7. It's only in the last few years I have realised that my problems were a lot more than just depression and anxiety and a lot deeper. So I spent a lot of time combing my life and did a fair amount of reading, to ensure I wasn't barking up the wrong tree, and found my conditions closer to autism and complex PTSD. I'd even brushed off the concept of it as I felt other people had it a lot tougher than me but I thought that way cos I'd been programmed to think that way, from my mother, and then I decided to look deeper into all concepts of what was wrong with me.
As for my mother, she died February 2020, and I have to say I felt little to nothing over her death and had not been it touch with her for over 7 years. I even tried to force myself to cry and feel emotion but I got no more that a few tears and then my mind would simply say 'Forget her!!' My girlfriend, at the time, cried more than me and even she knew how bad I'd had it.
As for my Dad, he's still the oblivious boomer he's always been, still selfish and narcissistic, still happily tears strips off people but if you offer it back up to him he's whinging and saying 'But what have I done to you!?' I ask him for nothing and keep my distance and only give enough to satisfy his needs even tho it kills me to do it.
Anyway, hopefully we're in better positions in life and not having to suffer any more!
I can absolutely relate, and we are def more vulnerable to narcissistic abuse (bullying) and then some
One thing I would add (which isn't often touched on or mentioned) is that many autistic children are born to autistic parents. For me meeting other families, this is a very common experience - many of the dads are often what was referred to as 'Aspergers', and many of the mums are undiagnosed autistic (only because there is still little understanding on how autism presents in females). This being the case, it's more likely that autistic parents might feel overwhelmed and anxious. As a result, they could be more angry and frustrated or just strugge to cope generally with the additional responsibility (which is how their anxiety could present), potentially causing their child/ren trauma or cPTSD.
As a child I was quiet and disconnected, had a tendacy to wander off. Wandering off got me into a serious traumatic incident, afterwhich I completely went into a shell, did not speak and I remember feeling lost and having difficulting processing what was going on around me.
I have dealt with this the rest of my life slowly emerging out of it but as you can imagine I have struggled with all aspects of life.
I have learned to hide my disconnection with my surroudings but sense that people perceive that something is wrong.
You seem to have such a sweet personality and are so generous to make these videos and inform people . And you do it so well.
I believe that as an autistic individual himself he shares from a place of empathy, maturity and intelligence. You don't see yourself as being super generous when it's something you genuinely want to do.
@@cass8330 I agree. Seeing yourself as generous is an ego thing. It's for other people to see and think of you. Although I admit, when people call me generous or kind, I don't necessarily enjoy that. It almost implies that I've done something for that reason. But in this case, I genuinely mean it. It's very giving for him to do this. But when you see something as your duty, you definitely don't see it that way. I'm just letting him know that his actions are very much appreciated and valuable.
❤️
@@cass8330 He may not see himself in that way, but for those of us struggling, this really does makes a difference, and I at least (as does the original poster) do see him that way. It isn't an ego thing. It's the choice to share your journey with others, rather than just getting through it yourself.
❤️
@@a_diamond exactly 💓💓
You probably already know you’re doing an objectively good thing, but I just have to thank you personally for your channel. It mayyyy have saved my life, and I doubt I’m the only one. Thank you. So much.
You are not at all the only one. I can easily say the same!
Yes I’m one
me too
Same. This is one of the very few calming spaces where I feel accepted. I am eternally grateful for Paul and this community.
WORD.
I have tons of both - my father chose me as the scapegoat child - and signed me out for extra abuse - *because* I was autistic ... my hypersensitivity made tormenting me more "fun" for him ... However, in the years since his death, my C-PTSD symptoms have slowly receded - and a much more cheerful autistic personality has begun to emerge - though I still have anxiety about how I will fit in with the rest of the world ...
Same for me. I suspect my dad is a narcissist and has chosen my as a scapegoat due to my autism just because it doesn't fit his "ideal family" vision. I've heard from several family members that this was the reason he didn't and still doesn't like me. At least I know not to trust him anymore.
my sympathies, to you Mary.
@@Stephie2007 well, there is a 50% chance the traits came from his genetics, so he doesn’t have a leg to stand on.
I was blessed with my two most abusive adult children abandoning me last month.
They do not understand.
Wanting me, begging me to be Normal.
What a relief I can BE and grow unsupervised.
Autism really is a curse a life of so much abuse etc
"Recognise that a person's "problematic" behaviors and responses may be their attempts to protect themselves and to cope with stress." Wow... how life could have been if this was recognized, and how much less "problematic" one would feel. Because that has always been the key word hasn't it, we're "problematic". I always thought, why am I problematic, I am just doing what I can to cope. It's so up-side down. You already struggle to cope, and then you have to go on and defend yourself for doing that, because it's problematic to most others in most situations.
@Pateck Aaron nobody here has that level.
But I have been given superpowers by my Healing teacher, and I have developed an actual interest in others. Can converse somewhat better now.
But maybe we will never be Normal.
Would we want to e?
Not me.
Word❤
When you said “endless chain of broken relationships”, that sums up my life so far, unfortunately. I am really trying to break out of some of the unhealthy patterns I have developed over time through trauma. When I was a young kid, I was distant from other people but was so happy. Interpersonal and family trauma has burnt out my trust and emotion regulation. I never really learned to set boundaries or manage conflict so I feel like I have to build from the ground up :(
We are on the same journey. Keep going we are going to make it
I'm so bad with relationships that i had to cut my family out completely from my life. It was tough to do at first, full of shame and guilt, but necessary.
Me 2
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
@Pateck Aaron right, maybe he's just getting older and developing.
The part of the video that clicked for me was realising that the more I heal my trauma, and live in a way that is supportive of my anxiety and depression, the more I experience the ability and safety to have self-stimming behaviours, engage in my special interests, and communicate with others in a way that works for me.
Thank you for this video.
What had helped you heal?
I spent the first 36 years of my life thinking all my issues were due to trauma from growing up. But since my last breakdown in summer 2021 and the assessment I had with a mental health nurse, I am now on the pathway to diagnosis for autism. This mental health nurse was the first person in my entire life who looked at my history, looked at ME and revealed that he saw autism in me. Since then every piece of autistic information I have read is like a lightbulb going off in my brain. How many times my “weirdness” or character traits have been ignored or misunderstood. It makes me feel like I am finally beginning to understand who I am and that there was never anything “wrong” with me! That all my life feeling different, now means that I understand I am different! Not in a frustrating and scary way, but in a way that I now know wasn’t my fault.
I was treated terribly by my father especially growing up. Really hatefully and terribly, so I’ve spent my life thinking it’s just the trauma from that. I now understand whilst yes that was traumatic, I was also grossly underestimated and misunderstood.
It’s videos like these that make me feel like I’m not alone. Thank you ❤
wow i feel like you're describing my own life
Same story, different person = me, but it was actually other "type-1" channels on youtube like this that made me take pause, say, "hey, that sounds eerily exactly like me," write out a big list of my lifetime of symptoms, and arrive at the conclusion that there's simply no way that I wasn't autistic; it's too off-the-charts.
Same here - also realised in 2021. I was 40. My therapist was at a loss because we were working to neurotypical goals. Such a relief to know.
Same story....
70 Intense years !
Age 50, finally treated for ADD/ADHD. Depression, anxiety. No good results
Age 65, yes you have CPTSD, but can't seem to figure it out, maybe just due to Cult upbringing and escape with chronic pain at 19.
Now 70, Yes you = HSP. So the sadness, anxiety, burnout, meltdowns, anorexic silent despair was not me just being 'hi-strung' an crazy !!
Mother said I was like an alien, never Normal ...
Now find out, WHAT 😮
Hello, it has a name, deal with facts, so put this label on it:
AuTISM
Yes, be GOB-SMAaacked
I always thought it was just my anxiety, and ptsd/cptsd that was making my life hard. I’ve now been working on dealing with them, and wondered why it wasn’t completely explaining what was going on. Still not completely sure, but I feel like things are making a lot more sense, and it being autism actually explains some of those things that couldn’t be explained by anything else.
A good topic. I remember a video with Tony Attwood speaking of what he called' "Autism Pure" and then how through stress and circumstances, various disorders can pile on. This can be particularly the case for those of us not diagnosed early.
Intriguing. At 57 I’m late learning, but not too late!
Yeah. My last therapist called my situation a "quagmire"
@@SuperLotus - Definitely sounds like the perfect word to describe my life too, but the quagmire would be blamed on me and my brothers with neither of our selfish, narcissistic parents willing to take any of the blame for the war zone they created.
@@meme8540 - Better late than never but more importantly, you are not alone.... there's many of us. Now we can see it and are standing side by side.
@@SuperLotus I bet that made you feel great lol!
This makes sense to me. I was diagnosed just before I turned 60. I had blamed my difficulties in life on my difficult upbringing, even though we appeared to be a model family without “problems”. But I never felt nurtured. Now I believe my mother was also autistic, but possibly she just suffered trauma herself as a child which impinged on her ability to mother. In hindsight I’d say her trauma and my autism affected how she mothered and today it is difficult to see where one starts and the other finishes, but the Venn diagram makes a lot of sense.
Even though we are far apart in terms of age, I understand you very well. I’m 21, was very recently diagnosed with both autism and cPTSD, and my mother was abusive. While she might be autistic too, I know for sure that she suffered a lot of trauma herself, making it really hard to tell whether autism is actually in the picture. I feel you.
My story is very close to yours but it was my father who was affected...
Yeah sorta same. My parents tried their best and got better with time, but the early years still inadvertently fucked me up. I recently ran into a Buddhist concept that defines love as understanding, and it made everything click for me in a way the religion my parents tried to indoctrinate me into could never quite comprehend - if you wish well for someone but don't understand them, you are not capable of truly loving them.
I thought I just had PTSD but looking back I've been realizing I was also autistic from birth with that PTSD compounded upon me. It's such a confusing path, but this channel has been helping me a lot, thank you.
@Pateck Aaron u should be banned 🌿 only cannabis helps
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
Okay the two comments above me are awful by the way
@@stillnotstill Report them as spam - their variants seem to target this channel.
I was late diagnosed because I have c-ptsd and it was a lot more recognized than autism. I didn't get diagnosed until I had a total breakdown. The burnout was severe. I'm wondering now if autistic burnout could actually be the way ptsd shows up for us.
That's a very good question.
I wasn't diagnosed until I was 35.
i think they tend to follow each other, but would say from personal experience the trauma developed before the burnout. but then the burnout in itself has become a trauma in and of itself because it was left untreated and left me dysfunctional and isolated for so many years.
I also got my autism diagnosed after c-ptsd and burnout, which was treated as depression. I had depression before and knew that this was different. I believe that the biggest trauma was caused by myself as I was masking and pleasing people and just couldn’t take it anymore. If I knew how to stay away from the wrong people and set my boundaries, a lot could be saved. I just wanted to be accepted.
I feel like burnout is a stage of ptsd. It is our body’s response to trauma.
It’s like you’re telling my story... wow
Nothing like a good cry on a Sunday morning because someone finally describes and understands your experiences. One way that I feel alien is that I need to cry to release my intense feelings, whether from PTSD or just being Autistic. People are upset by tears and are always either raising the fire alarm or doing anything, including being harsh, to get you to stop. Crying makes people uncomfortable and I need to cry to release energy and emotions, whether they are mine or ones I feel from empathizing to intensely with another being--so I constantly make people uncomfortable. I have two stims that society views as symptoms of anxiety and depression: I need to bounce one of my legs or I need to cry or shake my body. Most of my adult and adolescent life, even before I felt "generalized anxiety" and the paralyzing effects of my PTSD, I was told I was "anxious" and "nervous" because of my bouncing and also "dramatic" or a "crybaby" and "too sensitive." Because I was so easily upset, I quickly became a scapegoat for a variety of bullies in my life, including my older brother, my boyfriends, my friends, my teachers. I don't know how many times people told me how much "fun" it was to give me a "hard time" and tease me because I got so upset.
I have found pockets of relief when my "symptoms" can become superpowers, such as showing up for others who are in distress. I don't always get it right, but my ability to just hang out and let others feel negative feelings without trying to fix them has definitely helped others and made me feel like I was worth something.
I also don't know how to give short comments, or not overshare! Oops. I was curious if you use any sort of mindfulness practice for working some of the symptoms or characteristics you describe in this video. More specifically, I have found the most healing from reading the works of American Buddhist nun Pema Chodron, starting with _When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times_. I am currently reading _The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times_ for the fifth time in six years I think. I appreciate her teachings because you can listen or read a short chapter or teaching and "chew" on it in your soul and mind for months, it doesn't have to be something you sit down and read in a few weeks, or "check mark done" learn it and "I am fixed."
I am curious what other Autistic folks or folks with PTSD may find helpful or not about her work: I find that as the world grows ever stranger and more uncertain, learning to have compassion and unconditional kindness towards all my thoughts, feelings, and experiences, really has helped me to heal myself from the constant trauma of living in a world "not designed for me." I have to keep returning to the lessons I learn, but she offers that sort of "trauma-informed" teachings that you speak about in this video.
I will stop this short novel on your comments section now and hope it isn't the end of the world because you understand.
I love this. I love this. I love this so much.
I relate so much to your comment, its content, length and depth of sharing, which I personally value and see as your power of courage to be who you are in a world that devalues sincerity and vulnerability. I value those highly and find them so very rare, like hidden gems in a rough and caustic world. You shine. Don't let the bullies tell you anything less.
This is perhaps the most relatable comment we've ever come across! For real for real!
Ironically enough, you said everything so well (and my bed meds are kicking in hehe) so I don't actually feel the need to write a sequel to your wonderful little "novel"! People have regularly commented on my comments just to say I wrote a whole book.... Which tends to be true, but it always seemed like such an odd thing to go out of their way to just state that I wrote a long comment! I know people judge me for it. A lot.
And I just wanted to say that I really really enjoyed someone else on the interwebs saying so much relatable! It's funny, we have DID and EDS so we've been happy to find others like us online but kept feeling like we still hadn't found anyone else who loves to share like we do and writes long comments tehehes... We suspect now that we are autistic, it would make so much more sense of things, but yeah, it's just so refreshingly wonderful to stumble upon someone else online who writes seeking to share and otherwise relatable! It really makes us glad inside our soul to know we aren't the only human in existence who loves to share ;)
Thanks so much for sharing your comment! :)
Thank you @Jennifer Reisch this was totally relatable... yeah bullied for being too sensitive and easily distressed when younger, especially by one of my brothers. My naivety a source of amusement and my empathy and compassion for others meant I was quick to defend and advocate for them but not myself. I just could never comprehend how people could have bad intentions because I didn't and if I'd done nothing to them why would they be mean to me? I've been confused my whole life. I've had a massive awakening the last few years and have learnt to very painfully face the truth about human beings, about my childhood and repeated traumas and wounds I carry; about the people I attract who deliberately set about taking advantage of me and just don't care about the consequences. I've woken up and it's been a bitter pill to swallow and I wonder if I could ever process, integrate and release these traumas I've experienced, I'm seeing a Psych but I've seen plenty before and no help really. I'm concerned I may never really step outside my door again beyond appointments and shopping and making friends, meeting someone like-minded, even having a relationship with someone genuine all seems like fantasies now...
Thank you to Paul too, I appreciate your channel and I feel less alone reading the comments here🙏💜🌸
I feel about the comment about others finding my crying to be anxiety inducing. I finally had to tell someone close to me to please let go of any anxiety and/or feelings that they had to 'fix' me or the situation, and please let me cry as it can be so incredibly cathartic... all I wanted was them to be present with me. I apologized and asked them the best I could to just sit with me and listen, hug me, and just reassure me it's going to be OK. I know deep down that it will work out, but the emotions can be so incredibly overwhelming and intense it's so hard to see that light at the other end of the tunnel. I'm trying to find the right combination of things to make me not quite as sensitive/emotional, but the sensitivity has always been a part of me... I've learned to just feel it. Bottling it up, suppressing it... to me feels more severe long term than to acknowledge it and release it... and sometimes I just need someone there to validate me, as strange as it may sound to them. I need to feel heard and I need to feel seen. (I would of thought this was a given, but perhaps we are all conditioned on a very subconscious level to withhold it for fear of it damaging our reputation. I wish we all could feel free to be our authentic selves.)
I grew up in an abusive household, I was bullied in school, I developed narcissistic personality traits that I mostly healed through finding good friends where I learned how to take care of relationships, . during my upbringing I had recurring depressions and I began to think I might be bipolar. It wasn't until I had nervous breakdown a few years ago my difficulties became so many and my coping skills vanished completely that I began searching for serious help. After many years of misdiagnosis (bipolarism, borderline, mentalization based therapy that didn't help and loads of different medications that didn't help we finally arrived at autism and ADHD, but I have been questioning it's accuracy because of how some of my issues became visible because of the serious trauma I experienced, and it took a long time for me to see the internal problems I had before my breakdown. So I have often thought maybe I was sub threshold autistic during my upbringing, but because of my severe burnout I entered diagnosable autism territory. either way I finally have the hope I might be able to live a bearable life, and maybe even might be able to thrive. Life is still not easy, I'm still struggling with the most basic things and I seem fully normal and functioning to most people I know, even my closest friends, masking is a grey area where I'm not sure I'm even fully aware at what level I mask. i'm at home alone 95% of the time, I just had my mother over and I felt physically ill while she was here, but after a while of engaging in my interests in hyperfocus I was back to baseline.
Try spiritual work, our intellect can only take us so far. I'd recommend the work of a Trappist monk Fr. Thomas Keating.
Thank you for sharing, I can relate to a lot of what you said. But what kind of narcissistic traits are you talking about? I'm curious because they're usually very contrary to autistic traits. .
Damn. I have lived a very similar story. The different thing is i went with the bipolar diagnosis and take lithium since
@@mrboobiesrider9212 I am bipolar and take lithium also.
@@Catlily5 and how is it this far?
I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and PTSD before Aspergers (now ASD-1). So yes, having that my whole life definitely led to the others. Mostly, it’s how other (neurotypical) people react to you and treat you as less than because they can’t possibly try to meet you halfway even though you attempt to meet them all the way every time. I think schools need to start teaching neurotypical people empathy.
Neurotypicals have little empathy. Wehn they accuse autistic people of having none, they are merely projecting. Any empathy they have is usually superficial.
My memory is affected, so I will watch this again and again. To remind me of my truth. This is so informative and inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing and caring, Paul.
I loved this. Especially the part about what a happy and healthy autistic person could look like where I felt like maybe I could imagine a future for myself where *I* am happy and confident while still being as weird and wacky as I am now! Plus, as someone who has been through trauma it was a wonderful reminder that trauma can be healed.
Always remember that if the world treats you like you're weird, you can always treat them like they're the ones who are weird or we can all learn to accept that there are different people in the world.
This is what I do, lol. I am fiesty now. I just shoot right back to them my criticisms of their method of socialization.
I also think if parents expect and put pressure on their child to be and act in Neurotypical ways, it is very traumatizing . There can be so many issues that overlay an individual such as sensory integration issues, ADHD, asd, trauma, bipolar, bpd etc
Due to varied and extreme trauma during childhood, I struggled with CPTSD to such an extent that I tried to kill myself in my teens. I felt incredibly disconnected from my body and was perpetually exhausted emotionally from having to constantly mask how little I understood or was understood by my peers. I've grown fascinated by the shocking similarities between my character traits and those of Aspies.
@Pateck Aaron - That's wonderful news! So happy for your son and for you.
What helped you through CPTSD?
@shitukabir1635-- That's wonderful. I'm very glad for your child. Luckily, the majority of my CPTSD symptoms have resolved and those that haven't, fully, are in the process of doing so.
I have been diagnosed with depression & anxiety, then bipolar, then BPD, then a year later complex PTSD. Last Saturday I met with a mental health person I hadn’t seen before and she suggested I get tested for autism, if I felt comfortable doing so. I’m a 37 year old woman and for the first time ever I feel like I finally have answers for why I’ve spent my life feeling the way I feel…it’s as shocking to me as being told told I’m adopted and that’s not to make light of people in that situation…that’s how shocked I feel.
Cant wait! If we can add the epigenetics, cluster-b and autoimmune paradigm/models, my work here is done. It’s all simultaneously true and mythological. We humans love making patterns. But I’m trying not to get trapped in a definition. Spiral growth, everyone!!! We are doing this!! Whoohoo!
That was a lot to digest. Is there some suggested reading that could save me (and maybe other commenters) scouring Google for accurate answers?
This is such an important topic. Being a person that has been raised with lots of trauma I questioned for several years whether or not I had autism.
I hear you. I’ve had friends tell me they were pretty sure I was an Aspie, and I thought maybe I was, too. But I asked my therapist (an MD) about it, and he said I’m not…it’s just that I have a lot of the same symptoms because of constant childhood trauma.
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
My mother has undiagnosed ASD and ADHD and I wish I could to talk to her, but she isn't comforting. I have been officially diagnosed with both. I feel so sad and frustrated because I live where trauma has happened and can't move away because it's too expensive. I feel so trapped and helpless.
What do you do for a living?
Keep going!! Find friends t9 share with, new or existing friends. You will get there. I know how you feel about living there and relationship with your mom. Its tough but you can do it.
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
I hope things are a bit better for you now
Where my current source of therapy keeps falling short, you're here always to pick up the pieces! I feel very lucky for the parts in my journey to acceptance that you have been able to help me fill in, and made me help bridge this period of coming to terms with my conditions, especially where my therapists had nothing to offer me. Thank you immensely.
Best of luck / keep moving forward
We are the solution to our challenges
👁🧚🏻👁
I have to be honest and say I laughed at Ill Gill Bates, if it was a reference to Bill Gates. There's one thing *NOT WRONG WITH US* and it's our sense of humour that is unique, different, a little broken (mine) and probably been leant on to survive thru the times.
@@reggiep75 Amen to that quirky sense of humor helping a lot!!
@@reggiep75 ay bro lemme teach u da truth about autism
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
We’re looking into this now too. Pretty sure I have cPTSD issues. Besides the fact that autistic people can feel traumatized by even “lesser” events, I’ve had a few actual traumatic events in my life, and along with the late diagnosis AND I am very likely ADHD TOO, I figure I’m pretty much a shoe-in for the PTSD stuff. I’m thinking I’m going to start adding all the acronyms I’ve accumulated after my name in emails etc. Maybe people will confuse them with with accreditation initials and think I’m just insanely intelligent and educated. 🤪
Lol
You totally should
Hahahaha that's great! Thanks for the giggle... We could look very impressive if we started doing that HAHAHA! :)
🤣 Omigoodness I love you & this sooo much! This is EXACTLY my experience & situation too & I mean, man, the acronyms...LOL Thank you for making me smile-You have not idea how much I needed that right now...💕
That's a good idea!
And I feel you. You are non alone.
I’m a 54 year old veteran and I’m listening to you describe aspects of my life like you were there.
there's a link between us.
you are more than twice my age, and yet we have a connection despite so little else in common. we don't need to explain ourselves, and can be ourselves openly here where we are understood where it matters most.
thank you for your service, sir-- in MORE than the military. you have been a warrior your whole life, sir.
I've been diagnosed with c-ptsd, but not autism and ADHD, which I've now come to realise, I fit the bill for. This came about after years of trauma recovery therapy and following the clues through other family members getting diagnosed with Autism and/or identifying with the symptoms of ADHD. I'm going to pursue diagnosis. Although I had a chaotic, frightening and neglected childhood and grew up with parents with disordered attachment (which I inherited), I have worked so hard to mask, (which I got severe burnout from, and yet helped me develop socially, as well) to get my frontal lobes online ( books are probably how I survived my childhood and how I ended up as sane as I am) and to create a life that isn't so overloading that I cannot function. I now have a fullfilling relationship with another neurodiverse and trauma-recovering person. I I love your channel. Very comforting and informative. Thank you.
This video is extremely well done. You've done your research. Thank you for putting this out there!
I think I might be autistic and am feeling very overwhelmed by the possible symptoms stacking up so I could really use this video! Great topic; just what I need!
Hope you’ll have more good than bad days my friend, take care 🙂
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
Thank you for talking about this. The part where you described a healthy autistic person without trauma is still autistic. Even if I didn't have the ptsd that I do.... and I was completely rid of any pain, blame, guilt, trauma etc... I'd still have autistic symptoms!! Wow! What a revelation!
i'm 29 and have seen therapists on and off since i was 6. only now am i exploring the possibility of having both autism and cptsd with a psychologist. i still have a lot of imposter syndrome regarding both, feeling like i don't struggle enough and that any trauma wasn't severe enough to count. i got quite emotional watching this video. thank you.
This is such a great topic. And one that I've been obsessing about a little, too. Having read Pete Walker's CTPSD. From Surviving to Thriving, I started having doubts whether I was autistic at all. Maybe I'm just traumatized, and a huge nerd, but otherwise typical? Not that it makes any difference, but I just looove to know stuff, just for the sake of it. And you are absolutely right, traumatic experiences we may have had as children, whether we are autistic or not, are not always connected to a clear memory of one, particular, "big T" traumatic event (one reason being, like you said, people may not remember the "big T", and the other that they underwent a series of micro-traumas, i.e. exposure to some adverse circumstances). Thence the concepts of "cPTSD" and "emotional flashbacks", not very academic but pretty handy! Somehow, I find it hard to imagine an autistic person without a level of complex trauma baggage. All humans have had traumatic experiences, even ones that seem small from the adult perspective, like falling of a bike or your pet dying, and all the more so sensitive individuals, which would include people on the spectrum. For example, as a kid I was bullied because of my quirks, disregularion and poor communication skills, which was a huge stressor for me because I yearned to be accepted - so was the issue here autism- or trauma-related? Could be both, intertwined.
Im so confused i don't know whether i just have cptsd or both cptsd and autistic or both cptsd and highly sensitive person. Cptsd Autism and HSP kind of similar. What im sure i have cptsd due to childhood sexual abuse.
@@reinas9666 it's better to be Undiagnosed.
The NIHI people will take our BRAINS for study after we die....for "research's..."to help us, and peoe like us"
No! Thanks!
It's a law.
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
I don’t even remember a lot of my childhood. It’s all a blur with flashes of some things here and there, mostly in 3rd person as if I was dissociated the whole time.
There was trauma, but I only remember generalities and not specifics.
Love Pete Walker's book, saved me
I really only found my autism to be a problem when it was undiagnosed. That took 30+ years but it is what it is. Oddly, I had to figure it out for myself. I personally have little faith in modern day medicine. Especially, with the behavioral sciences.
My sister and I are identical twins and we are perfect personifications of this diagram. She's had life long trauma, not autistic. I've had trauma too, but I've healed (mostly) and cope fairly well as an autistic/aspie. Excellent presentation! Thank you.
Having a professional say you are the expert about your own life .What a breath of fresh air I grew up with Freudian psychiatry which didnt take mw seriously .They had a lot of beliefs about me that were crazy
I'm 61 years old, female and was diagnosed with Austism/Apergers' Syndrome last month. I sought diagnosis as I had identified myself as Autistic through research and a life of anxiety, depression, eating disorders, suicide attempts and utter exhaustion!
Paul investigated and explained the relationship between Autism and Trauma so well. Thank you!
This information is so vital to understanding ourselves as Autistics and working through years of cumulative, negative experiences.
Again, thank you so much, Paul!!
Wow. I can tick off the whole list of all these symptoms.
I have an extreme neurotic personality and struggle with relating to people normally, perpetually feeling like an alien. I tend to overwhelm others with information and struggle with withholding my thoughts and opinions when I should.
I once had enormous energy and social interactions were fun and natural, occasionally learning people were surprised by me just walking off when I think things are done, instead of recognizing if they’re done or not. I studied the interactions and expected responses of others around me constantly. I’ve always shifted my behaviors to become more positive with others but as an adult this has been extremely difficult to do, because I have a lot of severe fear reactions to things that I’m barely aware of and struggling to recognize in time to hopefully curb the reactions.
I recognized quickly that my behavior when I began university was extremely different from my behavior at the end of it. My behavior changed even further since then: after repeated hospitalizations, surgeries, and social isolation.
I have *always* had emotions that exist in an all or nothing state, have had extremely contradictory abilities and weaknesses, *love* doing ritualistic and rhythmic behaviors, and have extreme enjoyment of delving into learning and working on specific things, even though I now realize some of the delving into topics has also been a protective mechanism, to shield myself from the stressful environment I grew up in and continue to live in.
So I’m pretty sure at this point it’s both. After all, most of my behaviors and experiences can be explained with autism, or most of them with OCD, or most of them with ADHD, or most of them with PTSD, but the least complex explanation for *all* my quirks and issues together is autism plus trauma, but it doesn’t rule out the possibility of anything else on top of it.
It all makes so much sense now, It feels like you are speaking of everything I have not been able to explain for myself or others in a comprehensive summary way before.
It feels like I finally realize that I might have Autism, Adhd, Autism Trauma, and PTSD in a very complex way that I haven't been able to fully explain or understand and know for sure until now. Since I started to watch your videos it feels like I can relate to at least 99% of all the content I've seen so far on your channel.
Your sharing brings so much clarity and understanding and helps me (and hopefully a lot of others as well) to recognize, understand, accept, and heal deeper parts of my childhood, adolescence, and puberty that needed more attention, understanding, love, and healing.
Thank you for sharing this valuable helpful content and I wish that everyone that feels incapable, misunderstood, hurt, and traumatized in any way finds the best way possible to function properly, finds their optimal way to complete healing, and finds deeper understanding about themselves and others and finally be able to create and receive true love and acceptance in their lives.
Wish you all the best and thanks once again for sharing this mind-opening content!
thank you for speaking so eloquently and assertively on our behalf. I'm 51 and a failure in the eyes of my family and long gone friends. Your channel is helping me find myself after a lifetime of feeling misunderstood and bullied.
The elephant in the room is our school system. It just blows my mind that people don't even question the rightness and need for this gargantuan trauma-engine.
Videos like this one are the exact reason that that refer to you first during my weekly podcast to show both sides of the neurological worlds that you explain the traits so well!! 🎉
You are a wonderful ambassador for autistic community, with excellent resources and information. Thanks for your empathy and compassion. So appreciate it.
Thank you for this fantastic video. Iam in the autistic spectrum myself with a comormidity of ADHD. PTSD seems to play a huge role. I work as a empathic therapist (systemic constellation). Working with my clients often resembels my own inner strugles. Espacially with trauma. Because I understand and feel my clients so well, I can go along with them in a very special way. This video helped my, to understand the link between autism and PTSD. I might integrate it into my work after some more research. So thank you very much!
I'm so grateful for this video! I am not on the spectrum however you said trauma can lead to autism like symptoms and that explains everything! THANK YOU!
Same, thought i had asd til i learnt about cptsd.. its definitely cptsd lol.
"When I read those words" I burst into heavy tears. Wishing so hard that the world was indeed full of people like this. It is so fXXking heavy!
Thank you so much for this! Recently discovered I was autistic after burn out 7 years ago, yet I found out on my own after I was told I 'just' had anxiety/depression/PTSD for no reason...
Thank you for your excellent synthesis of two complex topics and their interrelarionships. I appreciate how you have integrated polyvagal theory, and clearly defined your terms. As a clinician who has complex trauma on the spectrum, I find that the current offerings in the mental health community often further traumatize those on the spectrum because they deny or are unaware of the needs of autistic patients. My goal is to make constructive change, and that change begins by awareness of the issues involved. Showing us a glimpse of healthy thriving autistic people is a start. We can not only thrive, but go on to be valuable assets to our communities. I thank you for your insight, and for your courage to share your experience. It echoes my own.
@Pateck Aaron BS. There’s no illness or condition on earth that can be reversed with herbs. The only good use for herbs is seasoning food.
I had an abusive stepparent from ages 10 to 15 and when we left him my mom took me to a counselor and I was diagnosed with PTSD. I remember trying to tell her that a lot of these things that she was asking me about were things that were happening long before we ever met this abusive person, but she wouldn’t listen to me and disregarded me. This video is very helpful for me to see the differences and similarities. I am definitely autistic and I definitely have had trauma. I worked for years with different therapist on my complex PTSD and never got as much from it as I felt I needed. Now I’m realizing that I’ve actually made a lot of progress overcoming my traumas, and I just need to be more understanding with myself.
th-cam.com/channels/L8Tawls84nezPDtqOzOfCg.html
👆use the link to get the best herbal remedy for ASD this doc herbs has helped my child and since I used his herbs my child is now verbal and his social skill has improved. My child call dad, mama and what he wants.
On such a great video as this one my comments seem pathetic. The usual "good video, buddy" seems like an injuctice.
This channel is helping me unravel the lifelong mystery of it all and is giving me the spunk to share all this with my family. Well, I'm not quite there, but...in time, I hope. So a big "thank you" to the creator who put so much time and effort into a channel that deserves so much more love.
Aspees Eternum! 😁
Just starting my journey of re-organizing my life filters and wanted to let you know that you're really threading the needle here and I want to commend you and encourage you on this path. You will save SO MANY lives, metaphorically and literally.
Excellent, I was really looking for this information and needed to know that the two have common traits, but that they need to be worked on each level. I wish I could find the right therapist. I have spent my time and money going to people who don't understand complex trauma and don't understand autism, especially in women. It brought to a state of despair and I lost any motivation to stay alive. People like you give me hope, but they're hard to find, especially in Europe.
The more I learn about PTSD the more I’m sure I’ve been through it.
I had a traumatic injury had flashbacks for years.
I’m talking suddenly gasping back into reality after spending 10 seconds just hearing my screams and _feeling_ the snow start to burn my skin from over exposure.
I’ve pretty much recovered from what I can tell but it feels good to have a label for it other than just “thinking about an injury too much.”
My body just relaxing hearing this... Thank u.
For years I've felt a strong affinity to people on the Spectrum, even though I've never been officially diagnosed. My parents refused to see the positive aspects you mentioned here. To them, my issues were just personality quirks that I should be able to overcome. When I tried to tell them otherwise, they told me not to be defeatist, and to just try harder. Toward the end of his life, my dad finally admitted that I'd had these traits since early childhood, but they never got me tested because they hoped I'd just outgrow them. Most probably they were also afraid of what a diagnosis would have meant for me, growing up in the 1960's when ASD wasn't nearly as well understood. I can't say I blame them for not having me tested, but constantly invalidating my attempts to share how I felt left me with very low self esteem that I still struggle with to this day. I know they meant well, but I wish they had simply taken me seriously and had my back as parents should.
Anyway, thanks so much for another excellent video!
I have 29 years of CPTSD. My Asberger's tries my CPTSD. I have been working on both problems for a year. Thank you to you Paul. Keep up your great work. Helps alot
There is no way you spelled aspergers as assburgers
@@pus915 I'm sorry I don't know how to spell words correctly. I just have spell check. Looked right to me thank you for letting me know I will try editing 🙏🌞
@@FeliciaShare nah I'm just saying that because there was a whole South Park episode and they said assburgers instead of aspergers. Just thought it was funny
@@pus915 sorry don't watch TV
This is the kind of information that is exactly what someone needs, but impossible to find. Thank you for putting it out there in a very digestible format on a very accessible site.
I have CPTSD and got misdiagnosed through mental health services for years, then just recently had my autism assessment and got abused as part of it. I was dismissed based on ignorance and pseudoscience because the services in my area are underfunded and under investigation for extremely low diagnosis rates. So frustrated but going to keep fighting (sadly) to get what I deserve. This dynamic is reflective of the abuse I've experienced for being autistic - i.e. not believed, not listened to, dismissed. I'm so sick of fighting. I'm documenting the journey on my channel anyway so I just hope it can help others in the future who will inevitably end up in the same position. Thanks for your content Paul.
Hi, I also have CPTSD, but since my kids got diagnosed with ASD, I've wondered if I could be dealing with both.. I realize neither of us are experts, but since you also deal with this kind of stuff, what do you think?
@@a_diamond It’s my understanding that many parents get diagnosed after realising their child has ASC (ASC = Autism Spectrum Condition - I made the distinction because disorder pathologises it). Have a look at the diagnostic criteria and take some online tests. It’s certainly a strong possibility that the trauma you experienced was because you were different. There’s nothing wrong with being autistic. If that’s the case, you can understand yourself better and your children. Hope that helps!
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
You've really been putting out some outstanding video's lately. This was a particularly good one. Thank you.
Very helpful, Paul, from both standpoints separately as well as together. I also work with a lot of traumatized people, ASD or not. The trauma as well as the autism explanations are probably the most clear I've seen. This was much more clear than most trauma training. As someone also having ADHD, I had no trouble [well, I paused a couple of times] watching this long. The graphics helped, rather than overwhelmed me, which is usually a big issue. Your timing in speaking and in the visuals was also good, not at all overwhelming. I hope that some day you re-visit the ASD-ADHD comparison video after this same format!!! Thanks!
I pity those three souls who downvoted this, this is so great and informative. I'm in treatment because of cPTSD-caused depressions and have recently found out that I show significant traits of Asperger as well, which actually feels like a biiig relief. I always felt something about me was WRONG despite all the progress I made in therapy, and knowing I'm not wrong. Now I think to know what this feeling is. I'm not wrong, I'm just very DIFFEENT. Phew. I can breathe again. This video was great and very clear and helped a lot. Thanks a ton!
I’ve been thru interesting experiences myself and I’ll share my story. My son was left borderline autistic after a flu shot. He also developed a skin rash after the vaccine. No doctor was able to help me and I spent great amounts of money going from “expert” to “expert” along with medicine and supplements. Nothing worked! During his early elementary years, he was isolated and had no friends. In fact nobody came to his birthday party. It was very painful for me to watch him suffer. I remember driving home in tears after visiting him at the playground. After many years of struggle, I felt the need to throw the towel and I said to God, he’s all yours. If this is your Will, let it be. I wasn’t religious back then, but somehow I felt the need to get closer to God. The more I prayed, the more I saw a miracle unfolding before my own eyes. He slowly changed. By the end of elementary he made one friend. Thru middle school he made two friends and by the end of HS, he was the school’s student body President. For this reason I have more faith in God than any therapy or magic pill. Many people rush to think this is trauma or genetics, etc. This is not always the case. My son is the second of three children and the only one who got the flu shot. The other two never had a problem with behavior nor skin rashes. I was with my children all the time, and I know the moment something definitely went wrong. I’m glad is over and thankful for the experience. I just wanted to bring awareness that with God everything is possible.
Thank you. This is so helpful. I'm in my 40s, diagnosed with CPTSD about 6 years ago. I have worked through a lot of the trauma triggers, but I'm starting to realize how much I still struggle and how much relief I have gotten from addressing sensory sensitivities lately (reducing occurrence of panic attacks or a need to remove myself from uncomfortable places)-- wearing earplugs, using lamps in my office, etc. And as I've begun to explore more about my childhood, I wonder if I might be autistic. But my major point of confusion has been around the differences between CPTSD and Autism.
Thank you, Paul. Before I started school, I was happy, but then, once I started school, my life became very different. I was bullied by so many kids and I became quite anxious and upset by so many things. I remember, in my first week at school, kids would come up to me and roar like lions. I have complex PTSD issues, as well as autism and I find that engaging in my autistic special interests helps me.
I was going down a rabbit hole like my mind does, even worse at night, and your videos genuinely help me. Thank you.
This was so interesting and informative. I suffer from complex ptsd and I didn’t know the correlation to autistic symptoms. I was an occupational therapist working with children on the spectrum for many years and it was always so apparent that we just understood each other. Parents could not understand why their child felt more comfortable with me than themselves. I wish I had known this information then, it would have broken less hearts...I think. I have been watching many of your videos and I think this is such important work. Perhaps you will help the world accept differences and treat each other with love and kindness.💜
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
I don’t think anyone had ever explained why I am the way I am better honestly. I feel like another curtain lifted. Wow. Literally in tears. Thank you.
This came a day after I spoke with my Doctor about trauma. This video was extremely informative and helpful. Thank you!
Well this video was heart-wrenching to watch. I relate to just about every single trait on BOTH sides of the diagram. I got my autism diagnosis just a week ago almost exactly on my 30th birthday. It helped me realise how the awful experiences I've been through all my life weren't just my own weakness, but really were valid. I had a teacher in school who used to give me detention every single day. She punished me constantly just for being myself. No one ever took my word for anything especially if someone else told different versions of events, but I was always the one telling the truth. I've been treated like I'm a problem my whole life. I was held to a higher standard than other kids because of my intelligence, yet barely anyone had any sympathy for my emotions and were always harder on me for any mistakes - the combination resulting in my experience being at least four times as difficult as the other kids even BEFORE taking into account the fact I had a disability.
It's hopeful but also painful to find out that the world was wrong - that I've actually been the victim of constant ablism all this time.
I grew up in a loving environment and was diagnosed very early, but even then there were moments where I just wasn't respected and moments where I just couldn't function, especially on long journeys. It's really surprising to see a comparison made to trauma, and I hope I don't have any lasting issues from it, just life experience.
I'm just generally a happy person.
Thank you so much for this video. It resonated with me so much. I am autistic and have CPTSD, and when I started working with a somatic practitioner who based their practice on polyvagal theory and embodied those principles you mentioned, it was exactly like you described: I was being met for the first time with respect and compassion. It made all the difference, and I could finally relax and learn how to regulate my nervous system.
This was a great video, Paul. Thank you so much for analyzing this subject so thoroughly. As someone who has been profoundly affected by PTSD since childhood and also unaware of my autism until later in life, this journey has been extremely tough. But watching videos like yours certainly helps put things into some sort of perspective and I would anticipate that this video can also be of good value to many other autistic people too. I watch your videos every week and you are doing a fine job. People like your good self do not grow on trees and are invaluable to the autistic community. As I'm sure you are fully aware, it is wonderful to discover someone who really gets it with regards to autistic related difficulties. Keep up the good work and thanks again!
It's a short video but I swear I had to spend an hour to absorb the information it contains.😢 I kept having to rewind because I kept having roaming thoughts. So triggering but excellent information on the whole.
I really like the last two videos, it's clear that you're honing your craft at communicating complex concepts. Keep up the good work!
I never heard the remark "you are the expert on your own conditions" until I started my first neurological rehab ever. Here I am respected and they actually listen to me and try to provide the help in the ways needed. Your video is super helpful. Thx so much.
You've just describe my whole life... I've been looking for a video to explain what I am dealing with. Well I think I found it. Thank you!
Paul! I just realised that all my seeking for what caused my probles was in the wrong direction. I allways tought I had a trauma but I didn't remember what was that? I hadn't a too good childhood but nothing special. Something was clearly missing from the solution. Now I realised that all my "trauma" simptomes started at a very young age. Actually they were allways with me. Now I day by day know better and better that I have autism. Now I just need a diagnosis.
Thank you for this video! My best friend has autism and some trauma as well, and this video helped me to understand him and his behaviour more. I got some tips as well, how to support him on this complex world with full of injustice towards autistic people. Thank you!
@shitukabir1635 tf
When you described the healthy happy autistic person at 12:00 I almost cried. It was so validating. I still struggle with some anxiety and some trauma, but what you described is so validating to how I am.
Thank you this shows me that I do have Autism (I have been diagnosed), but I’m also very traumatized from early childhood
Thanks!
I think I might have trauma as a result of speaking out against ableism years ago and all of my friends dismissing me. I feel very humiliated and let down. Often very angry. Sometimes suicidal about it. I just think of their smug declarations of "This isn't a big deal." As if I didn't research for years before even opening my mouth and I need them to tell me what's a big deal and what's not. I feel villified and awful. And they think they are right and I am just having a tantrum out of nowhere. It's so isolating.
I’ve gone undiagnosed my whole life but I recently opened up online about so much of my struggles. I got recommended to this channel just yesterday and this video was so comforting to see. This has truly been a blessing🙏🏾Ty so much
Excellent video. I started suspecting I was on the spectrum when I felt I had worked through complex trauma sustained in early childhood and again in my teenage years, and then again as a young adult yet to this day, at 31, I still run into problems with relating to people, maintaining friendships and the drain from what I have identified as masking. I still shut down in certain situations, I still feel overwhelmed at times, I still obsess over ultra niche stuff that brings me joy or stimulates me intellectually, I still do the happy heel bounce and hand flutter or can't seem to stop whistling/singing. But at the same time, I am worried that therapists will blame it all on trauma and won't take me seriously - as a trans man I am often seen as a tomboy and the "autism is a boy disorder" is still going strong.
This is powerful. 13:41-14:03 When I have suicidal meltdowns, I am down at the very most basic elements of trying to stop seeing myself as bad and deserving of isolation and abandonment. I hate myself and want to die (in those moments). I really appreciate you sharing this information, because although I'm making progress in my healing journey, the meltdowns continue as I try to figure out (and stick to) the preventative measures. Thank you again!
I´ve really been waiting for a video about this subject. Paul, congrats...can´t wait...woooowww
This is exactly the combination of topics that I've sought out but found nowhere: trauma & complex trauma, adult autism (because somehow 90% of resources are for children????)
This channel is exceptionally good, keep it up Paul!
I can certainly see similarities to my own experience. Many things which would be a minor and temporary problem to others would be trauma for me. The memories from such events can haunt me for years and cause permanent terror of a certain person, place, or situation. In cases that seem to be my fault, the guilt, shame, and even physical distress can last for months, or even years. My exceptional long term memory can be a curse more than a blessing. Lately my rheumatologist has told me that I have an autoimmune disorder, so perhaps the emotional symptoms can lead to physical ones.
Oh, I would agree on how the constant stress impacts our health. Maybe its because I'm stressed so often, I don't pay as much attention to my emotional state as I should. I often don't realize how stressed I am until I start manifesting physical symptoms of my stress.
Man this was an eye-opener I didn't know I needed. I've connected my symptoms to c-ptsd for a while in some way, but it felt wrong. some symptoms also overlap with Borderline Personality Disorder, which was suspected by psychiatrists and me, too, at some point.
Not too long ago I've been diagnosed with asperger's and your videos have helped me understand serveral key things about myself. Thanks for explaining the stuff in a truly relatable way.
This is what I’m in the middle of af this moment. Started trauma therapy (emdr) last week for some events that I’d say any “normal” person wouldn’t develop traumatic response to or would be able to process it in small time and move on at least. I have really fought off the term trauma, because in my mind it doesn’t fit, it’s more an over-reacting or the autistic response or lack of processing. But then where there’s smoke there must be a source, and if it does keep on bothering in the day to day life it probably should be addressed. The emdr is a draining experience, having to follow the light with my eyes is over-stimulating on it’s own-we might change to a different type of stimulus (auditive of tactile) if it keeps having that effect. I’m curious about the content of this video.
(After seeing the content)
I can really resonate with this. Thank you so much Paul, this is more or less the information I would like my environment to know (but at this point I’m still too unsure of my identity to do so, still finding my way since being diagnosed december 2019, at 25 years then)
Could you ask your therapist if following a pen or something instead of a light would be ok? I find lights very stimulating too.
Hi, I've used vibration pads in my hands. This was so much better for me 👍
@@gracelewis6071 she said she wants to try the lights a few times more, since they are supposedly most effective. I’m sort of imagining her with moving a pen and I think this would make her job a lot harder. They’re experienced in working with autistic adults with this technique so I suppose (or really hope anyways) we’ll find a way that works without being completely drained for the next 3 days following.
@@beknight9399 so nice that you found that to work for you! Since my experiences have to do a lot with touch/sensory stuff I kind of suspect this to not be a good option for me. But who knows.. :)
@@beknight9399 same. It was still just as effective
Thank you for this very informative video, I am 70 years old and always knew there was something not right in my world. I have realised only in the last 2 years exactly what it is - both autism and CPTSD. This video confirmed my thoughts, better late than living in fear and all the other symptoms for the rest of my life. Take care and thanks so much once again xx
Dang, Paul. You executed that perfectly. Thank you so much 🙏🏼✌🏼
Thank you Pearl for helping me understand more about trauma in autism. I have been very curious for a long time about autism and trauma and I didn’t know they had overlapped.
Wooow! This is amazing. Thank you so much for this video.
Thank you so much! As I told you before, I am still suffering from my mom’s death but this article not only helped me, it helped my dad understand me better.
Huge thank you. You've saved lives. ❤
Loving the newer higher production value on this video as opposed to earlier videos of yours. Love the amount of research and detail. This definitely resonated with me having been officially diagnosed with both PTSD and ASD, and also the MDD and GAD that seem so incredibly common. I was also one of the late diagnosed females who was incorrectly diagnosed as well, so I wholeheartedly support the dialogue from the Autistic community to help better inform and break down the walls of stigma. (I really should start making a list of all the wonderful advocates within our community. You all give so much and it's so greatly appreciated. After official diagnosis it was not only listening to many individuals online express themselves, but advocates who were producing online material that helped me better understand my diagnosis and really start to come to terms with it... moreso than any professional therapy/counseling I've had thusfar. Thank you SO so much. Much love.)