My goal is to create cities for various groups, one being a city by autistic people for autistic people to serve as a ideal place to live or vacation or seek assistance or treatment or just regular medical treatment unrelated for people with autism and thus also have autistic people doing research about autism and creating the solutions for us -- if you want something done right, do it yourself sort of energy but as a collective.
When you said, "it's not about the event, it's about how your brain reacts to it," I suddenly started crying and had to pause to understand why. It's like you gave me the permission I needed to be afraid of the things/events that I try and trivialize to avoid feeling weak. It helped lift some of the shame off my shoulders and I truly thank you for that.
Interesting, to me saying that it's not about the event implies that the event "wasn't that bad", and saying that it's about how your brian reacts to it feels victim-blamey, because I identify with my brain, it is a (disobedient) part of me. I'm glad it helped you.
@@bramvanduijn8086 Ironically, from what I understand, it seems like the way that you took it strips the context that it seems she's trying to fit on it and putting a context on that modern-day societies seem to put on it. She said a minute or so prior that it seems society tries to define events as traumatic or not in a competitive and objective sense. From what I understand, she was disagreeing with/disproving that stance. So from what I understand, I believe she's saying the objective event isn't necessarily what qualifies something as traumatic. It's about the subjective internal experience. So it's not society's place to determine what's traumatizing. Each person determines what trauma is/was for them. In saying this, I think she was going for correcting society's faulty logic, but not making a negative value judgment on anyone who is traumatized in the process. It seemed to be stated as neutral fact to me. Now, I'm curious: What led you to interpret her words the way that you did?
It's a diverse ,and overwhelming world . We often intend good , think alot ,as far as what's best for others ,and ourselves, not just our own survival instincts ,based on our own experiences, and feelings . And often find we are not all so different, as well . I love the way you communicate about this subject ,and hope many others are also helped by it . And it's context. When we seem to lack in some areas ,we are so often gifted instead ,or in others areas . Bless you for educating ,and opening up on this subject. 🙏 for God's blessings in every area of your life ,in Jesus's name .(If your not of Christian faith, no negative intent intended ,I happen to be ) .
That is exactly how i feel, for years i blocked certain things away and when i finally dod confront them in therapy i found myself always minimising it with comments like “not as bad as you think, or wasn’t too bad,” generally just labeling events with titles like that as if the fact i said they were small made me feel any better or accepting of then, i hope you were kind to yourself Jeremy and forgave yourself for being a victim, you see whats wrong with my last statement … either way, i hope youre in a good place
I always felt that was the case, but this is the first time that I've heard someone else say it. I know I'm a delicate f*cking flower - but I've also been through enough to break a person. I'm much stronger than I look.
So, I almost got diagnosed with autism, but the therapist found out, I experienced trauma and I then I instead got diagnosed with cPTSD and the autism-diagnosis was dropped completely. Now, five years later, after talking to several people with cPTSD, some autistic, some not, I am almost 100% sure that I am actually autistic. In addition to being traumatized. Because I can't relate to ANY traumatized people, except those who also happen to be also autistic and also ALL my friends are diagnosed autistic (or in the process of getting a diagnosis), because I can't seem to be able to deal with neurotypical people. Not even traumatized ones. But no therapist will listen to me, because the diagnostic critieria are so similar and why would I need to know in the first place and it's really frustrating. Actually, I've been searching for a new therapist because I moved recently and my go to topic is "you know, I think I might be autistic", because if they aren't even willing to listen to that, how are they supposed to work with me on complex trauma? Like, I don't even want a diagnosis, because I really am not sure about whether I actually am autistic or not, I just want a therapist who doesn't instantly go to "nah, can't be, you understand sarcasm". Apparently not understanding sarcasm is the single most defining autism trait there is. (Spoiler: 90% of my diagnosed autistic friends understand sarcasm.) So far I have not found a therapist, been searching since Dezember 2019 (but also Corona got in the way), but I'm hoping that maybe... someday...
@@okthen4912 in germany a therapist is where you would want to go to, while a psychologist is where you wouldn't want to go to. but thanks for the thought!
@@cirrusfloccus6080 oh. in the USA therapists of more of support for events that have happened or somebody to just talk to, not somebody who really knows about physchological conditions and stuff like a physchologist
@@okthen4912 Here it's the other way around! Interesting. :D Here psychologists are people who have studied psychology at university while therapists are people who studied psychology at university, then worked as a psychologist for 5(?) years and also did another 3-year-training where they learned more about psychology and working with patients. :D
As an autistic person who developed PTSD after a non-violent incident my freshman year of college, I can't emphasize enough how important this video is to me. I'm coming up on nine years since it happened and I still can't say the name of the girl who traumatized me, but felt for years that since it was a social incident and not a dangerous one I couldn't really have PTSD. It's very healing to hear otherwise.
My biggest problem with being bullied as an adult was that it took me years to understand what was happening (being bullied) before I could act on it. But the trauma still happened, I didn't know why and it took me many more years to recover from it. But luckily I have learned my lesson and now am able to recognize bullying behavior and extract myself from it.
I think bullies tried to bully me during school but I never noticed until later on XD. I guess they lost interest when I didn't react the way they wanted me to react. However, bullying in adults is SO true, I thought I was the only one seeing something weird at work and everyone else just decided to ignore it or they didn't think it was something important enough to deserve their attention.
One thing I've started considering to figure out what sensory processing disorders I might have is asking "if most people were as bothered by this as me, would they do something about it?" Most neurotypicals are not accustomed to being uncomfortable for long periods and if that sound was physically painful to them they would eliminate it. This applies to a lot of other things as well I think.
David Smith Bullying for life not just for school. We only have one life, But that life has to chosen for us to be aspergers/autism. The birth choose we have no control over. Wether you say it was science choose that we are just naturally evolution. We had to be one of 1% of aspergers/autism born on the planet. Or your religion God gave you aspergers/autism at birth as gift for you to help future generation. Autistic though history change the world we live in. "Autism is a part of our evolution" Attwood. How do you see your life time with autism? Do you feel that your mind can change generation of NT thinking in the future?
Same, I guess. I hardly tried to fit in, just did my own thing, and people learned to leave me alone. In a way, I actually miss being more oblivious to that kind of thing. Honestly, my parents continually getting on my case about being abnormal and not having enough friends bothered me more. I ended up trying to change almost everything about me, trying to get their understanding and approval. It never worked, only destroyed me.
@@ryk6207 yeah, I feel like it didn't bother me as much then. Possibly because kids are dumb and immature. Sadly, they become immature adults, unwilling to just be honest with you or try to understand you. It's just miss a social queue or do something abnormal (even if no one is hurt by it), permanently be on the outside with most people, but they pretend forever everything is fine.
@Female Autism Phenotype True, except sometimes when the trauma comes from the family environment when the child is traumatized on a very young age. Then it will have symptoms of trauma/ stress from an early age and those grow with the child during their development, influencing on many levels including social interaction. The distinction between autism and trauma becomes extra difficult in these situations and sometimes even impossible.
@Female Autism Phenotype Would argue that many times they overlap as in you have both and that they amplify each other. asd + sexual trauma together with disability acquired or born with for example is not something I would wish for anybody.
fantastic presentation! As a fellow autistic and person who is about to start grad school for counseling psych, this video was extremely interesting! My eventual goal is to provide therapy specifically for autistic teenagers and adults.
That’s so great Christine! I have had a really hard time finding exactly that for my daughter. She wasn’t diagnosed until she was 17, and most things seem to be for younger children.
This is just a idea but you could invent solutions to any mental health problems you might have even if there minor and then ask other autistic people on the internet with the same problems if the inventions work for them. Even if you don't have those mental problems you are far better equipped for understanding them than a neurotypical.
Autism can also be a protective factor for PTSD. I was diagnosed with c-PTSD years ago but now at 34, have been formally diagnosed with inattentive ADHD and Autism. It was absolutely the most empowering realization. It answered so many questions about why I behaved certain ways throughout my life, while others seemed erradic and unpredictable. I have spent decades trying to understand why I made it out of my childhood and my peers did not (they died, were incarcerated, became addicted to drugs, etc). Meanwhile, I went to college and graduated at the top of my class. As a former foster youth, of course I studied trauma, the brain, development, etc. I wanted to understand. Why do people behave the way they do? Interrupting statistic: Former foster youth are diagnosed with PTSD at approximately 4x the rate of war veterans in the US. My research went in that direction. It makes sense. I continued to try to heal from my trauma. Hypervigilance, hyperfocus, sleep issues, dissociation, trouble identifying emotions, inability to find my fucking keys ever (that one might be ADHD?) I did not realize that big pieces of my struggles and identity were still obfuscated by a misdirected hyperfocus. When I finally accepted that my brain works differently, that I am autistic and that's not a thing to heal, I started to embrace the ways that my autism had protected me from some of my traumatic experiences and how I could optimize my healing strategies in response. I did not understand my emotions, so I focused on the physiological feelings and compared them to charts listing emotions. I found areas I could focus on like shame, guilt, and worthiness. I learned to accommodate rather than resist my autistic needs. Overall, I believe wholeheartedly that my Autism is helping me heal from my trauma, as long as I give myself grace and accept my sensitivities as strengths.
I relate to her story. I once was almost in a collision with a semi (but I was able to get to work safely). I was so shaken up that I tried to talk to my coworkers to feel better and they turned to me and said “You didn’t die.” And went back to ignoring me So for a long time whenever something traumatic happened to me I didn’t speak about it. The other day I spun out on ice on my way to work, luckily I was safe and got to work. A new coworker of mine came up to me with concern. She listened to me and then she asked me if I needed an ibuprofen or a water… I almost cried then and there
The bullying, derision and exclusion experienced by many of us who are on the spectrum of Autism can create anxiety. Though most classmates and peers would treat me well during my youth, certain types of people -- probably because they were raised in non-empathic and conformist families -- would immediately think of me as "weird" and unsavvy socially and they would never let up belittling me.
being autictic + abusive/violent parents + bullied at school (bad enough so even a non autism person can get trauma im sure of) so trauma i know sadly all about it somehow im still here
Its as if you're describing me. It is a wonder ppl like us survive. As if just 1 of the 3 you listed wasn't enough. No one gave a damn right? Sorry this happened to US. God Bless
I relate to your experience, I also grew up with extreme poverty. I have decided that all of these experiences allow us to understand more than the majority of the population, and because of this we have a unique position that allows us to surpass others and create a great change in the world. Stay strong and have faith that what others deem unfortunate and disabilities are actually what make us unique and powerful. Love yourself and others. Love you.
@@larsmessenger7087 thats very true. My experiences as a child have made me more sensitive to others going through the same type of thing. If I see something is off with someone I try to make friends and offer my support and understanding.
Exactly the same for me. My mom was pretty bad, and still is. Serve BPD. But she has gotten better and our relationship has began to heal. But I still have lots of trauma from her and being bullied, and just trying to live as a nuero-divergent man in a world that seems engineered to piss me off, confuse me, and hurt me.
This world is engineered to be traumatic to anyone that dose not fall in line with dogmatic rhetoric, luckily bs dose not work on me and even if every one around me says “it’s normal because everyone else is doing it” no I’ll stay as I AM , Love and Abundance for All
Being bs and Psychiatry resistant can create conflict with Psychiatry because it is authoritarian and classist and can set the conditions for iatrogenic trauma. Autistics don't always come up with enough social filter in those situations. Since you're dealing with fundamentally narcissistic professionals, it can be a dangerous situation. Establishment Psychiatry sets up a power imbalance which supports narcissistic abusers.
I am an undiagnosed autistic male. I am gay, and so I relate to the qualities of women who are autistic, and so I mask pretty well and am hypervigilant on social moods and cues. When I went through the transition from high school to college, it was very hard, but I masked through, and in the second year I had a year long capstone (Large thesis paper) and on a very hard to talk about topic that made me very uncomfortable to talk about, but it was what I believed in so I chose it. After my 18 minute presentation and 36 page paper I graduated, and from that process I got incredibly burnt out and I feel like I broke my ability to mask and push myself through situations, and hit a rock wall. I feel in a sense I am traumatized by attempting to live a normal life while being autistic. I really feel there is truth in the higher rate of trauma in autistic individuals, its hard to live in this world as an autistic individual, and that 'dying from a thousand cuts' really struck me as relateable for my autistic experience. Its sad because how can I heal for something if every issue that hits me hard is small and will be trivialized and seen as a given. You never get closure, never heal, and then have to tredge through life while the 'social meter' drains faster and faster from so much mental baggage and strain. Which then expedites the chances of starting a depression cycle, then isolation, and then distance from those that can heal you. Its a vicious cycle. Sorry if I sound like I am victimizing myself, that is not my intent, just trying to understand why and how I am.
I reached this point at age 58 after a lot of trauma and being disabled for 10 years (8 of those I was bedridden). For me, it was trying to get back out in the world socially (I'm isolated in my home now because my health tanked again, though not to the point of being bedridden). When confronted to how some neurotypicals herd others--making us autistics the brunt of most of that--, I couldn't handle that I froze in those situations and having had a break from the behavior made the behavior I encountered feel like the last straw. I used to not freeze. I used to be quick with a response. But I'd fallen out of practice and freezing scared the bejesus out of me. Also, I shouldn't have to chastise adult bullies so that they think twice before they reach out and smack someone verbally. I think I've just become so pissed off that so many people exhibit so little grace when it comes to autistic people and people in general. I feel very done... even if I felt better. It's just so exhausting. This is the small situation that traumatised me and turned me off to people after all those years. I was socialising with a group of lesbians who were new to each other via social networking. The gathering was an attempt to create some community. Someone mistakenly assumed I was from the same country as a guest visiting from out of town. I went to provide three quick examples of when the same thing had happened. I forget what this woman said to me, but she was calling me up short for providing too many examples. For the most part, in neurotypical people party speak, it's raise a topic, someone responds, that person responds back, move onto new topic. It's rare that the back and forth goes two rounds or a real discussion happens or someone tells a story (unless people know each other better). Now that would feel trivial to a lot of people but it was one of two very rude things that came out of that one evening. That was only my 3rd attempt at socialising after 10 years of illness. The first event had a group of people decide that because I was American I was fair game in the making fun of Americans contest. Only it wasn't funny; they weren't funny. The one person who basically told them all to shut it became my friend; she also affirmed that they weren't funny and were simply being rude. Perhaps my being autistic and lacking the energy to smack them back contributed to just how ugly it got. It also, for me, pretty much highlights the amount of animosity that people in other countries have for Americans though they may hide it much of the time.
I can relate. I’m lgbt and autistic too. I have some ptsd symptoms stemming from my academic and thereby social difficulties with starting university and to some degree their recurrence later.
I really relate to this. Especially what you said about burning out after graduation. I felt that too and since then haven't been able to push through and force myself through life like I always did as a kid. I'm unpacking a lot of trauma these days.
Im a transguy and i relate to a lot of "womens" traits as well. That makes me feel very invalidated and even before i knew there were female traits i knew something was weird. Figuring out my gender i thought i had the reason why but now i dont think so. Going for a diagnosis soon though so hopefully my therapist will listen.
Psilocybin and DMT helped me actually be able to have my inside protectors feeling safe enough to start having memories of my traumas. It's been difficult but worth it. Fyi I did a lot of research first and you still have to do the therapy and work to heal. The drugs just allowed the locked door to be open. I had to make the choice to walk through it with each trauma memory. I also started doing my own exposure therapy. But that took two years for me to get there. Keep healing dear ones.
omg really??? i have the same problem of being unable to remember things clearly or not at all, just a white abyss of memory. this really made it hard to continue therapy in a meaningful way, only being able to treat symptoms. ah, i might need to start saving up these euros to maybe one day go for that session in netherlands XD. wouldn't want to risk anything less than professional, losing control is scary enough.
I only remember two instances in specific, like my hair was pulled because I wrote something wrong or ugly, and one time I didn’t wanna take a shower, and the person was fed up and threw cold water at me. Besides that, nothing, I imagine there has to be more.
i tried mushrooms and tabs and dmt but i never tried to used dmt as a tool for this, i can’t even visualize that. how does it work compared to the other psychedelics ?
I've been in an abusive relationship for 8 years, but this doesn't count as "CPTSD" for psychologists because it didn't happen in my childhood 🙄🙄🙄 I surely feel like I've been to war 😫
The C stands for “complex,” as well as “childhood.” I mean, how else would soldiers get C-PTSD? Hope you found a therapist who actually understood that!
I think PTSD is to the brain a bit like what an allergy is to the body. Let me explain my reasoning. An allergy is an extreme reaction of the body to an otherwise harmless or mostly harmless substance, and allergies seem to "remember" a time where that substance entered the body where it was perceived as a threat (often by association of a real threat), and it will always seem a threat to the body from that point forward. PTSD is an extreme reaction of the brain to otherwise harmless or mostly harmless experiences, based on a past event that the brain (correctly or not) perceived as a threat. Much like you can not choose how your body reacts to allergens, you can also not choose how your brain reacts to events. Also, much like how every body reacts differently to potential allergens, every brain responds different to events.
Great analogy. But--allergies and trauma can be transformed. The autistic response can be smoothed a great deal but it requires acceptance by the person who has it and at least one person who can "translate" back and forth to the neurotypical world. Decency requires that the NT sometimes join the Aspie world because everyone wants friends without discomfort.
To further your analogy, a body experiencing allergic reaction is also more vulnerable to other attacks on the immune system. Similarly, a brain experiencing PTSD symptoms is more susceptible to further trauma that might otherwise seem benign.
I am a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in Ohio. I was diagnosed with Autism at the age of 34. I have gone through YEARS of counseling due to various traumatic experiences I have had throughout my life. This is why I do what I do. And I have had clients (I work with teenage girls mostly) who I could see what you are talking about...beyond the trauma response. Great video!
I've heard many times that one can process traumatic events by distancing oneself from it in the memory, but when you added "like playing Sims", it clicked in a whole new way. It has recently occurred to me that I process a lot via playing The Sims 4, and now I think I can use the mental image for even actual memories. Thank you.
I have PTSD and autism. I've been abused since age five. And other stuff has happened to me than just abuse, but it's ok. This was really eye opening to me. I'm glad someone made a video answering some of my questions ☺️
It's not okay that those people did that to you, but you didn't do anything wrong to be treated that way. Best of luck on your journey towards healing and happiness.
I have BPD and Autism, and it's definitely informative. Some of the things I experienced (like watching my beloved grandmother fall into benzodiazepine abuse and alcoholism) were obviously traumatic, but the most significant issues involved bullying and betrayal by people who took advantage of my social naiveté. Those would have been damaging to anyone, but they were devastating for me. It's good to know that some people experience events like this in the same way, even if the reality behind that knowledge is tragic.
This is a topic I think about deeply and often. I've received diagnosis for ADHD, CPTSD, SPD(Sensory Processing Disorder), SPS(Sensory Processing Sensitivity/Highly sensitive person), Severe GAD, and Depression. I've been assessed multiple times for BPD and Bipolar II, with the results always being close but not quite conclusive, but even when I bring my own updated research and assessments specifically regarding autism in adult females I get told "probably not" because "blah, blah, blah, antiquated information based on male children from back in the 90's"
It took me over a year and a switch to a new therapist to get a chance to get tested... The tester cried and apologized when she scored me, not understanding how she or the others didnt notice. I had to bite my lip from spouting "male data bias" and "S-class masking". Just keep trying, i had that same 'seems like bipolar/BPD/schizotypial/etc.etc.whatever else it can probably be' for years, and none of those quite fit and that niggling eventually gets through... 'Similar but not quite' should be a sign for therapists to look into autism, especially in females... Just keep trying :3
I relate to this so much. I'm so tired of being told that I have social anxiety + sensory sensitivities but there's no way I'm autistic because "look at how well you do in social situations, you know exactly what to say"
I'm trying to get diagnosed now and I'm scared this will happen to me. I've been put in the "maybe fibromyalgia" category. I have ADHD, depression, general anxiety, social anxiety, I could go on and on. it finally feels like autism actually fits me more than I ever realized, more than the other diagnosis I've gotten on their own. idk. I just want answers.
I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was having feelings of depersonalisation after a gentle and loving parent died leaving me with the abusive parent (I was in my 20s, but that loss of an unconditionally loving parent was significant). I knew I wasn't bipolar. I knew my issues were related to trauma. (Wasn't diagnosed with autism yet.) Took their damn meds, which did nothing for me. After about eight months I stopped them to no effect. I can't believe that their assessment of me didn't include my childhood trauma and the possibility that my grieving response was normal given my life experience and not a bipolar episode. Maddening. When it finally occurred to me at age 48 that I might be autistic (I read a book written by an autistic women because I was an avid reader and the book looked like it would be interesting--a huge lightbulb moment), my new trauma therapist said I was too self reflective to be autistic. Um, no. He dismissed it and so then did I. It took him 5 more years to reach the conclusion that I was in fact autistic. He had me take a series of tests and conducted some observational tests (without me knowing what he was doing) before he was satisfied that I was, in fact, autistic. Meanwhile, he kept saying things like: "You're hyper-rational and you expect other people to be as rational as you. You process things more than any person I've ever met." Once he realised what was going on,, my seeming pathological naivete and inability to make sense of other people's motives made sense to him.
Oh my stars, all of these replies! @candid_veteran I have been in maybe fibro for two years with doctors having tested me and last month, when I told my neuro that the meds we prescribed for something else helped my chronic pain, as they are also used for fibro and would have had this effect on me if I had fibro, and that my rheuma and ortho suggested fibro as well, that's when the doc finally caved and wrote it as an official diagnosis. I suggested being autistic or an aspie once and my old therapist said that it's hard to diagnose an adult and that it wouldn't help me now but I'm seriously considering asking my new therapist.
I appreciate you mentioning the issues with meditation! People always suggest it, but as someone with a trauma history and various anxiety disorders, it hasn't always gone well. Trying to meditate by paying attention to my breathing has caused me to hyperventilate. Trying to just "relax and be mindful of what you're feeling" has caused me to panic or break down crying out of the blue. These are obviously not the desired results. :P
I'm meditating regularly and want to share my perspective. If you want to meditate to calm down etc, that's what most people do it for, a guided meditation might be sth to look into. Breathing meditation can help with anxiety but only while relieving tension actively. Any form of meditation, especially the unguided 'raw' Zazen like meditation styles may bring up all the stuff that is stopping you from getting into a calm state, mostly unprocessed intrusive thoughts, feelings, conflicts, physical tension/pain. Meditation allows a space to work through it, process it, acknowledge and let go of it. This is not comfortable and the goal of Zazen for example is not to feel comfortable during meditation. It's processing and accepting what's there. Without distraction. Until you can focus on the present moment. Transcend to a higher state, by acknowledging and letting go of everything that happens inside and around of you. This may not be the western world understanding of meditation, not the goal-oriented self-care meditating thingy.
It’s been two yrs since you posted this @stonescorpio, if you’re still struggling with calming anxiety, you can look into TRE (trauma release exercises) and neurological reset exercises / Vagus Nerve reset exercises on TH-cam. When you’re ready to meditate I agree with previous post to try guided meditations or guide hypnosis (Marisa Peer is excellent) and when you’re ready to do breathwork, DMT breathing has a nice build up with several different breathing techniques and start with shorter breath holds. Breathwork Beats is a good channel. When you feel anxiety coming up during meditation or breathwork, pay attention to grounding and expanding your energy/ opening up. When you feel safe & secure enough you can release the emotions or anxiety that comes up, instead of trying to push it back down. This takes practice, I know that it can feel pretty uncomfortable, but it feels better after the release 🙏🏼 Take care 🌺
I grew up with an abusive dad then went on to marry an abuser, and now deal with post separation abuse(because our systems protect abusers and perpetuate abuse). A few years ago, I was on TH-cam and watched a video on autism and was like, that sounds a lot like me. It’s been in the back of my mind for these past few years. Then I found your channel about a year ago and I forget the exact video but it was something about girls and autism, and I was like holy shit, this is me to a T. I finally felt like someone got me. I’ve been in therapy and trauma therapy many times and even when I bring it up to therapists they brush off my behaviors and struggles as my “trauma.” I can’t do many forms of therapy like EMDR, because it’s way too intense and triggering(physically), so it’s been an uphill struggle. I told my last trauma therapist that I knew the trauma was there, but I really think there’s more to it and she just dismissed me. I can go back into my childhood and think of so many situations that would definitely show I was autistic and even as an adult, situations that would also qualify. I think I’ve just learned to mask so well, that they just don’t think it’s possible. I also think the CPTSD combined with autism(and or ADHD) has literally made me incapable of functioning and it’s awful. I also developed chronic illness during my abusive marriage, soI feel like I’m up against too much and trying to constantly crawl my way out. I went back to school and am getting my degrees in psych for this reason, because so many therapists and psychologists don’t get it. I feel like they just read the DSM, come up with their own conclusions and have biases and then make guesses based on it. The mental health field needs a complete overhaul. I could go on, but I’ll stop there as I rambled enough. I really appreciate you making this video.
I don’t think you are alone at all, I have the same situation and I am 99.9% sure I am on the spectrum and currently beginning a diagnosis after being brushed away so many times due to having multiple childhood abuse traumas - so a traumatic childhood that many therapists jump on instantly. I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, CPTSD, PTSD, Depression, anxiety - and when I’ve mentioned ASD i have been told it’s probably trauma. Um. But I know all the facets of who I am and that person Inside I ‘mask’ is so miserably and depressed mainly because I can’t be the happy person I am inside and be classed as ‘normal’, and yes I can differentiate between that pain of trauma and that pain of being isolated because of being neurodiverse, and in a way like this video is saying, they are the same. Being bullied/disregarded/penalised for being ‘different’ is as traumatic in my life as those actual incidents of abuse as a child, so I think many neurodiverse people suffer anxiety and trauma and PTSD because of the effects of living in an NT world. I wish more diagnostic methods would really consider that, and also the high rates of abuse in ND children and increased sensitivity to traumatic events.
A good therapist would have said "Lets take a look at why you think you are autistic. If you are, we might come up with some new strategies for healing." They might have also expressed surprise or embarrassment at not having considered it before.
Hey Sara, I'd like to fund Sam doing a video on how having autism can make it harder for women to understand abusive situations. Wondering what you think of this idea, that autism might impair ones ability to identify particularly emotional, verbal and phycological abuse patterns?
Neurodivergent trauma is so real and I almost never hear people speak about it. I’ve only learned recently just how much overlap there is between symptoms of autism and ptsd, it’s such a beast to try to navigate the dynamics between the two. Thank you so much for this top tier explanation of a very crucial and confusing topic.
I'll admit the more I have learned about autism in girls because my oldest daughter is autistic the more I have been like oh my gosh I'm totally autistic and never knew. I've always known I was different from others but it never bothered me. I just was. I grew up in a small town and for some reason no one ever teased me to my face not sure why. The rumor mill was rife with the idea that I was a lesbian. Imagine the entire towns shock when I started dating the man who would eventually become my husband. I think that in combination with an extremely patient and loving mother and the small town thing the world was just a different place and was slightly easier than the world my daughter is growing up in. My daughters pediatrician suggested that with each passing generation autism gets worse and my daughter might want to keep that in mind for when she decides to have kids. The more I have thought about it the less I agree. It might to some degree be true but my daughter and I are extremely similar but I raise her now in a world so different from the one I grew up in and in a community so opposite of what I had and the pressure and social expectations are almost unrecognizable to me. And I wonder if it's not a worsening of her disability between generations but a change in society that exacerbates her symptoms in ways I never even had to imagine struggling.
People have also thought I was a lesbian at various times in my life. I'm a tomboy and I wasn't a serial dater, had long periods of time between boyfriends. I am married to a man now.
Look up the TedxTalk by Jac den Houting: Everything you know about Autism is wrong. It highlights that there is nothing inherently wrong with autistic people, it's simply that their environment is not suited to them. As the world population has doubled and then doubled again, and urbanisation has doubled and doubled again, simply the sheer volume of people surrounding you and the intensity of sensory stimuli are undoubtedly making "normal" everyday life much much much harder to tolerate. TLDR Whoever told you autism gets more serious with each generation clearly hasn't taken into account social changes. Biologically it's very hard to imagine a mechanism for stronger autism each generation however it's very easy to see how social and environmental changes are dramatically worsening circumstances for Neurodiverse people
*Trauma takes a really long time to recover from, but I want to assure you that with the right treatment and support, it's possible.* I literally started crying.
My auntie -- mother's twin -- is probably autistic and has never been appropriately diagnosed. As a result, many "normal" events throughout her life have been enormously traumatic for her. I appreciate the information and ideas here SO MUCH! You've given me many positive insights for understanding where she is coming from; I can at least give her more of my patience.
"That is a wider conversation that psychologists need to have." You are the first person I've ever heard put into words exactly what is so challenging about finding therapy for whatever ails you on a psychological level. It's a bloody minefield out there!
Yes she does speak rather fast. Hard to catch everything she is saying. Wish she would slow down a bit and give us a chance to process what she is saying. I'm nuerotypical and I struggled a bit to keep up with what she was saying.
I am 74 and only self-diagnosed 10 years ago - 64 years of trauma. But I also realised last year that I have childhood emotional neglect (CEN) - 73 years of trauma. I tried EMDR - which was difficult because it has been made into a strict format that was useless for me in particular - few specific memories. However, I decided to make a list of events or incidents that I knew happened, and did DIY EMDR for each one, and I am sure it helped.
Autistic and left a wrong church, my wife does not want to become free, also. This can make feel me hopeless with all the symptoms of (c)PTSD...... Brainspotting did help, also medicals, but ist still hard to live in a country, where nobody is really willing to help.....
OMG! What you said about having a panic attack after meditating really hit home, EVERYONE tell's you to chill and meditate and I've had really bad sleep paralysis following a meditation session before going to sleep and nobody acknowledges it can actually happen (I know that's because most of the ppl encouraging maditation are neurotypicals but I think even neurotypicals can experience that type of negative experience) As an autistic adult I've been fighting my whole life the idea of "if everyone does it, it must be so" but once in a while I give in and try what others do to cope (with anxiety mostly), and so far, nothing worked (except my own inventions).
Personally with asd and with cptsd mindfulness and vipassana has been more appropriate edited however under the guidance of true professionals / teachers in my case ie people who have been engaged and teaching a long time.
I thought autistic people were actually less vulnerable to mental disease. But after seeing this video I think that might just be me taking my own inventions for granted. Still I don't hear much about neurotypical people inventing a solution to mental health problems that nobody else seems to understand.
I've done many meditation/mindfullness exercises in therapy, and find they can usually be really helpful. That's under guidance and someone knowing what to do. Then when given advice and some stuff to do on my own it never works, I'm unable to focus. (I also deal with dissociation so it tends to just trigger that instead)
I freaking hate mindfulness, makes my head a mess to focus on my internal experience and I’d much rather sit in a quiet, orderly not to bright room and ground myself surrounded by my favourite things.
Now I know why, after 11 years, I still shiver whenever I'm around my stepmother and mother... I cry for days before I have to meet them. I lose my appetite, I get paranoid... It's awful...
Sorry for your struggles. Ever thought of cutting them out of your life? I have with my own mother simply because she always made me feel worthless and I didn’t want to feel that way anymore. Unfortunately the damage has already been done and I do feel worthless permanently, but at least I now recognise that I have the power to choose who to allow into my life and I haven’t spoken to my mother in almost four years now. Best decision I have ever made for myself.
@@plan4life I avoid them as much as I can, but I have two afab children and I don't think is right to keep them away from their grandparents. I keep close to protect them, but I can't keep them away. Thank you for your kind words and I wish that better days await for us!
@@KarolinePCosta Would they be toxic in your children’s life? We need to protect our babies too! I don’t know obviously what issues you have had with your mother and stepmother, but I would worry about the littluns too should they be exposed to negative influences. But I truly wish you and your young family only good things. ❤️
Personally I can recommend reading "unfuck your brain" by (lots of fancy title letters) Faith G. Harper. Something that goes well with the spectrum peeps and trauma part: "A trauma is an event that happens outside our understanding of how the world is supposed to work. A traumatic response is when our ability to cope with what happened goes to sh*t and it's affecting other areas of our life. [...] Because fancy terms and definitions aside? A trauma is a "what the eff was That" situation. A trauma can be [...] or any kind of life event that kicks your ass. " - the above mentioned book, p34. I find this expresses how I've felt and feel after traumatic events quite well. And well again, I can definitely recommend the book (lots of swearing though, just as a heads up) :)
Yes, and so when an event could have been potentially traumatising but you kick its ass or the person trying to do you harm, you end up not feeling traumatised. All depends on outcome and also, how you think about it, which may or may not have to do with whether or not it links to other similar situations that were traumatic. I've had seemingly small events feel quite traumatic (and also truly life threatening events that were traumatic) and had a couple of large events where I could have been killed have left me feeling powerful.
I have High Function Autism and PTSD and I have lived most of my life with this. In UK I have had a lot of tramua and mistreated in the Mental Health Services to a point where I do not trust anyone especially doctors. I find how I manage is through meditation and ti chi I live outside society so I have a down place to go after a day in society and the crazy people and life can be. So I can become better and stronger so I can deal with mad world in society where there is full of horrors and hetic lifestyles. But this is me and how I manage what is going on around me
I'm starting to recognize what "emotional hard work" means and this was that for me. But worth it. I feel so much more validated. I believe I started as a plain old queer autistic. Just a weird little transboy being directed into gender conformity. But I was in a family with enough dysfunction to cause problems without the autism and queerness. So the bullying happened both at school and at home, but you see, never progressed to dramatic physical assault. Frankly I'd panic and turn into a screaming dervish, holding something hard at arm's reach and spinning so fast you'd get hit if you got too close. Stopped the assualt every time, but not the constant bullying. It also gave the adults one more excuse to blame me for it all. I was dismissed and blamed at every step. By the time I was eight, I was displaying extreme CPTSD, but they dx'd me hyperactive and lazy brained. Said I was clearly smart enough to be a winner but not motivated to try harder. The general conclusion was "more bullying." By the time I was sixteen I'd learned not to tell them after a suicide attempt. By age 24 I learned to say "No, just rehearsing for a play, I'm fine, not depressed all, I'm fine." Because I knew I didn't belong in that psych stream. Now age 56 I got a dx of autism at age 34, but I still get accused of making it all up to dodge things. What things I don't know. I've had more physical pain, mental and emotional pain, and social pain than anyone can stand to hear about. Even to this day I'm told to get out of my victim narrative, suck it up and decide to be fine. But that doesn't make my jaw stop clenching when I'm inattentive, or loosen my gut so it flows right, or help me sleep, or , or, or anything. It doesn't work that way. So thank you for validating me. I'm on my own out here in a sea of nasty bullies and exhausted distant bystanders who act like they might be nice if I knew them better, which I don't because they're just a little too busy for me.
You are brilliant. People do a lot to not face the truth and I wish "they" would settle down, have courage, listen deeply, and be appreciative of your efforts. (Dare I even hope they would provide real comfort?) I am certain (without knowing you) that you have developed more coping skills than many people can even name.
I had forgotten about this, but your video suddenly reminded me. The fundamental theme of Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf is how the highly sensitive can suffer in an insensitive society the same way that a shell shocked soldier can. That was such a good book. Both the soldier and the sensitive characters were so relatable and meaningful. It's been 14 years since I read that book.
Finally someone is brave enough to talk about the risks of meditation! When I studied transcendental meditation at the Tibetan monastery it caused me to have hallucinations and flashbacks. It also made me super high and afterwards would go on shopping sprees for random things that I had no desire to own. EMDR is much more effective for PTSD, it's a life saver.
In my youth, I once meditated so hard, that I almost had an out of body experience. I drew myself back just in time, before my consciousness went flying into the Light. I imagine that would have caused separation of my body from my spirit (death?) Yes, be careful with it! It can cause extreme neurological reactions, like a drug. It is not harmless. And for some, it can lead into the Occult (too much to go into here); let's just say that opening oneself up like that without proper supervision is like taking a psychedelic drug, and may draw in other demonic forces, as well. That's not to say just being still and reflecting upon scripture or using a well thought- out, benign mantra or prayer would have the same effects. A lot has to do with motive, maturity, and having a tested spiritual guide. I have heard that TM isn't something to be taken lightly.... Especially since they assign you a mantra. Did you know what you were saying? Possibly not. I myself was in another cult that used other techniques (light and sound). I don't like to use specific names on social media, so let's leave it at that. Now, I just stick to accepted, ancient Judeo-Christian prayers, Lectio Divina, Adoration, etc. Best wishes. I'm glad you left TM!
What? Were did she mention any risks about meditation? I have mediated pretty much my whole life, with few interuptions. It just makes me calmer and more put down to earth than before. Never ever heard it could be bad?! But maybe if the trauma is too large you should only do guided meditation with someone there. It can get pretty deep sometimes.
"Mental health in the military... lets not talk about that" *laugh-cries in veteran* I'll have to look more into C-PTSD, that sounds like my base state, the military just put PTSD classic icing on top of that trauma cake, and figuring out im autistic and battling to get tested and confirmed... oof, just... fun... Seeing stuff like this vid just... it helps, and i hope it helps others, no one should be anywhere NEAR the head space ive been in most of my life... I get it, and its just nice to hear someone else does too~
C-ptsd sounds like what I am having to work through. I was in a few explosions and turned to cannabis and alcohol for many years. Now being sober I am realizing I probably am on the spectrum and used substances to mask. I tried EMDR on myself a few months ago and had a solid panic attack but am curious to try it again.
I appreciate the new designator (really) but it makes me nervous about a new stigma being born. Complex? What a one-dimensional, binary, way of seeing people. Cui bono (to whom is it a benefit?). Duh. Past unhealed/unattended-to conditions make a bigger injury harder to deal with.
@@kylestolk7915 Thank you for your: bravery in doing the healing, speaking the deeper truth, speaking so publicly. I learned not to ask what could be worse, but an aspie in a military grade explosion creates a whole new category in the catalogue of horrors. I am so glad that you are here! Much love and healing to you.
19:30 thanks you for saying that. So many people don't know or don't want to know. Meditation and mindfulness can indeed be damaging when done wrong especially when someone has trauma's. Not just by panic attacks, but also by learning some people to suppress even more which can lead to dissociation when someone has an avoidance style of coping. Edit to clarify, I don't say meditation is suppressing, but it can lead to some people suppress.
exactly. i find yoga and walks in nature while trying to focus on the body, breathing and surroundings much more helpful. sitting in silence and not moving can be dangerous to some. but i think starting with walks is quite safe.
I had EMDR therapy and it was very helpful to me in recovering from CPTSD. In fact, after completing EMDR therapy, I was then able to see that my ongoing issues were not caused by my early childhood traumas, and I was later diagnosed with ASD.
I have two instances of trauma, one of which being socially driven and both of which not being societally considered "traumatic." It wasn't until I spoke with other people who have trauma based/triggered disorders to acknowledge that I was even traumatized. I think I'm realizing that I actually have triggers based in severe ableism. The "I am autism" ad from Autism speaks actually caused a panic attack and reminded me from when I was 12. An entire musical triggers me into both a panic attack and blind rage. Simultaneously.
Funny, I just thougt about this topic recently. I had flashbacks of my mum screaming when I was a kid and always thougt I was emotionally neglected. But now it came to my mind that maybe my parents were actually not that bad (because they really aren't now) and I just couldn't properly process some things because of my autism and alexithymia
@@redbirddeerjazz I feel this on a spirtual level. I am currently visiting a therapist to accept what my autism is to me. During my intake they were asking questions about childhood and although it isnt a new topic for me the talk about, the way they asked about it just loosened stuff up. Like. Bruh. Thank you for aknowledging my pain and shame. It just all finally starts clicking together you know? I stopped telling myself that "i should be over it" and instead my goal became "what does my diagnose mean to me and how to I work with it in an effective manner?".
THANK YOU for this video!! I would love to see more videos on the nuances of autistic C-PTSD. I also love that you brought up Borderline Personality Disorder as a common misdiagnosis. I was misdiagnosed with BPD in my youth, and living with the diagnosis was absolute hell. The amount of stigma behind the disorder brought me so much shame and the misdiagnosis provided little to no explanation for why I felt how I felt and acted the way I did. Ten years later, I’ve come to understand I am most definitely autistic (friends and family hit me with the “Well duh, you didn’t know? We could tell”) and your channel has been profoundly helpful in navigating my autistic awakening. Thank you so much for all that you do, Sam!! 🖤
Thank you for this. I’ve been following you for a few months now (discovered I’m autistic about a year ago, at age 39), so I’m still occasionally watching your older content. It’s been incredibly validating because many of my own observations and the conclusions I’ve drawn about professional level understanding and diagnosis of autism are just so incredibly well articulated by you-it’s played a very significant part in this process of putting all this stuff into a perspective I can wrap my head around. And now here in this video, I’m recognizing even more clearly that I have in fact experienced trauma at multiple points in my life-that I’ve unfairly derided myself, telling myself I’m just being a baby, that dealing with the loss of a friend, for example, shouldn’t be this hard. When the reality of it is those experiences WERE hard to deal with. They WERE traumatic-~for me-in ways that had significant longterm effects on my mental health.
I am undiagnosed autistic, I do have ADHD and CPTSD. I have gone through most of these things, especially socially and with family who were brought up under stigmatism kind of characteristics. So thank you for showing me I'm not alone 💜💜💜 How did you get through people not listening to you when you tried to get diagnosed? People won't take me serious but autism runs in both sides of my family.
This is so relatable. I went through a lot of "trauma" during my life, but I never realized it was trauma. It was just life..... I didn't know I was Autistic (being assessed shortly). In 2016 I was held hostage at gunpoint and that's when my brain split into may different scenarios and from that moment I have an inner shaking that has never gone away. From that point, my life has been spiraling. I am hoping the diagnosis for Autism is correct. My daughter was diagnosed last year at 18yrs old. We have the same "quirks". So here I am, 45 with ptsd/anxiety/depression and now possibly Autistic with ADHD but it all makes sense.
I think I had PTSD or some sort of trauma from working at a grocery store as a personal shopper for the ecom branch. I know it sounds silly, but I was in tears everyday while working there either before work, after work, or during work. It was so so stressful. After I left the job I had a year and a bit where I was a complete and utter mess. I'd cry at the littlest thing and I was simply exhausted and couldn't think of a job that I'd be able to handle (this is coming from someone who's always wanted to work/have a job). I now work at a fabric store and I mostly love it- and my boss knows I'm autistic which helps. The only thing I don't like about my current job is when there's nasty customers. Anyway I'm interested to see what you'll say on the topic!
A number of years ago, at least in NA, there was an anti-bullying campaign to encourage adolescent targets of bullying to postpone or entirely avoid suicide: “It gets better.” The service industry employees begged to differ, running the adult-abuse awareness campaign: “It gets worse.” Where I’m going with that is that you are absolutely not alone in feeling like long-term exposure to hostile customers and/or employers can erode your mental health and affect you for years after. Congratulations on finding a better work environment.
This is why I have a hard time with getting diagnosed. I was abused as a child and rejected by my adoptive mother as being “Weird” “What’s wrong with you” and “why don’t ppl like you” were common phrases she said to me. I can definitely look back and see autistic traits in myself, but this tends to get dismissed by professionals as trauma. Also, I was bullied every day of grammar school and with “childhood friends”
I feel like NOS used to be a favorite thing for a lot of psychologists to diagnose things that weren't highly stereotypical lol. Thank you for this video! It's not an area I am well versed in and I know many autistic people deal with trauma of varying degrees. I do think the large overlap between things like autism, ptsd, bpd, etc make it very difficult to diagnose properly as well as know how to find help in ways that aren't harmful
Thank you for making this video, I know I have cPTSD and PTSD. And I've always thought being Autistic put me at a disadvantage for it, and the events that caused it, I've been physically assaulted, bullied more times than I want to remember all through my life, and like so many other's on here have received misdiagnosis and treatments, never finding the right support that looks at the connections between everything, it's been infuriating and exhausting, and I rarely feel heard or understood, I feel let down by MH services, they gave me the equivalent of a band aid for life threatening wound. And I know now I will have to stitch myself together.
I am getting assessed for ASD starting at the end of this month and the last apt is the end of Nov. I was diagnosed with ADHD in mid-August. I am 31. I was sexually assaulted at age 18 and was diagnosed with PTSD at age 23. I have done a lot of EMDR and it is incredibly helpful. I have just been confirmed to be in remission from PTSD!!! 8 years. I do feel very sensitive to the world and once I did EMDR for my sexual assault, I decided I wanted it done for some of the other bad memories. It has been a very positive thing! I also just had my first DBT group therapy session last week! I have done CBT with a psychologist and ACT through a workbook on my own alongside going to counselling and talking about some of the stuff I learned. Thanks for this video. Sometimes I feel like I've never related so much to someone as I do to you when you share your stories.
In my childhood many people thought that I was mentally disabled because I was different - at age one when I was shy from strangers, I just stuck out my tongue. I was 5 years old when I learned how to dress and I was about 6 when I learned how to tie my shoe laces. I have always felt huge empathy for animals and hatred towards people. I have always had trouble managing my time and studying. People very often find me annoying and weird. And I haven't been diagnosed with autism, but I have been diagnosed with adaptive behaviour disorder with depressive symptoms.
Omg, thanks for talking about being bullied at uni. I was severely bullied in art school, and it's very hard to talk about without feeling like I'm being a crybaby. Even my profs were in on it 👍✨
I have CPTSD from quite a number of things; Abusive step dad for 10 of my developmental years, parents getting married and divorcing half a dozen spouses, step siblings and ex step siblings, abusive step mothers--using their trauma as an excuse to abuse others, a 2 year abusive relationship. I felt like I had nothing for so long. My fiance is the most precious, sweet, gentle and understanding person I know. We have been together 5 years now, and he has sat with me through some of the darkest healing, and because of this I feel so able and confident. So much so that I've started to come across ASD, and after LONG evaluation, I've concluded that I'm on the spectrum. My fiance didn't quite understand at first, but after explaining it to him, he's started to see ASD characteristics that I didn't even see. Now we are getting married in 6 months and I am saving up to get an ASD diagnosis so I can tell my family. Learning about ASD has brought me to the most "me" state I've ever felt. I feel most understood when it's from an ASD perspective, I wish it wasn't something that so many people brush off. I think they don't quite understand what autism is or why it is important to know and accept. Living in a world created and catered to neurotypicals as someone who is autistic is incredibly crippling when you don't understand your difference from the rest of them. Like "why can they do it so easily?" "there must be something fundamentally wrong with me" and all the shame that comes with no being "able" to be neurotypical.. It's astonishing. When being neuro-diverse is a SUPER POWER. I can now comfortably say no to things that I know overstimulate me socially, without shame of being "flakey" or "antisocial", I can understand me now better than ever, it's the greatest blessing, but I really don't think I would be here without someone loving and supporting every version of who I am, and committed to learning with me. I know that's a lot. I appreciate people talking about this. Sharing about this. It's important, and it's powerful. Thank you.
I have a diagnosis of PTSD and Im in USA but I was NEVER diagnosed with ASD. I’m KNOW I am in the spectrum. ASD became my topic of interest for many years now and my kids have different dads and are autistic. I took good care of my pregnancy and never drink alcohol, not even pain killers to protect my babies. I have a psychiatric history. I have done extensive research and taken many psychology classes in my school. CPTSD sounds like me in many aspects.
Thanks so much for saying these things, I’ve had all the symptoms of deep trauma and felt bad that I don’t have serious sounding reasons for the ptsd, but as a psychologist once told me, simply growing up in this world as an autistic person is traumatic
What hit it home for me (as someone who has pretty undeniable C-PTSD and have been looking into getting diagnosed with ADHD AND autism) was when someone on reddit said “sometimes developmental trauma could seem like having a developmental disability”. It’s making more doubt myself about checking for ADHD and autism... but at the same time I can’t help but feel like autism (and ADHD) gave me pieces of the puzzle that FINALLY gave me the insight on what I struggled with by allowing me to hone in on the parts I actually struggled with (ex. struggling with conversations in general but autism allowed me to understand which parts I struggled with: not processing what people say even if I can hear them, not being able to say what I had in mind, not being able to read the tone, struggling to understand figurative language and sarcasm (I do sense it, but either I have no idea what it could mean or my brain is buzzing with several possible meanings and I have no idea WHICH ONE people were referring to)). Before understanding autism, I just blamed it on my lack of socialization from haha, trauma and the sometimes self-imposed, sometimes out of my control and even unwanted, self-isolation and THAT was why I was so socially stunted but that just left me thinking “well I’ve been getting more social exposure, so why do I keep doing things wrong?” and made me think I was just pathetic until I realized that I might actually be less capable of some aspects of social skills because of autism - which allowed me to critically look at my experiences in detail and identify the parts I struggle with and come up with better ways to address those.
A really important topic to discuss. Your level of discomfort/stress talking about it makes it easier to relate (if that makes sense). Autism and trauma is so interwoven, and our experiences of trauma is often very different from NTs. It makes it really hard to find information for us.
Thank you so much for the information. I have a BPD diagnosis and definite PTSD. I have recently suspected I am possibly on the spectrum and found you while doing my therapy homework. I sent this video to everyone including my therapist. I have tried EMDR but I am terrified of facing my trauma so it would send me into a deep depression for days after. I mask very well so unless you’re one of my 3 people you don’t know. My house shows it and I guilt myself into washing my hair. I work an overnight weekend position and have about one hour of human interaction over a 40 hour week. In a laboratory at a hospital. I’m pretty so people confuse my happiness with being normal but I always say something weird and can never make eye contact and laugh all the time. I over share….. obviously. I have a few close people and the rest of the world scares me because of the possibility of awkward conversations. People walk by my house and come up to my fence and call me down from my porch and my dogs will be going nuts and they are aggressive and they try to befriend us. I’ve spent half my life trying to fit in and now I’m just isolated. I’m happy and in this current state and not allowing any negative energy around me. You did scare me with the while panicking attack induced while meditating so I can’t do that now lol. When this no longer suites me I’ll change behaviors but my therapist and I have contingency plans lol. I look forward to watching more of your material. Also thank you so much for the trigger warning. I had to take crying brakes and couldn’t handle some of the information but I knew that meant I needed to hear it. On a personal note I think you’re amazing!
I want to thank you. I stumbled on your videos. And I connected to what you were saying. I was able to get a diagnosis at 43 years old. looking forward to all your videos. Gives me comfort to know there is a community.
I have had a life full of trauma even before I joined the military. I never fit in really anywhere quite right and always felt like people just seemed to move to the beat of a different drum than me. Now at the age of 29 I finally discovered why that is. I am ASD positive and I finally feel ok with forgiving my failures and faults because I understand myself deeper than I ever previously imagined and I realized that my 2 ASD positive brothers and I understood each other on a level I never even knew until now.
I didn't start coming to terms with the possibility that I'm autistic until this year and I actually think psylociben was what really helped with that. I did a heroic dose in December and came out of it with a sense of self acceptance and forgiveness I'd never had. That's what allowed me to stop burying my suspicions and really start looking into it. I haven't been able to get diagnosed because of my insurance but I can definitely say I've made more progress in the past 8 months on my mental health than ever before.
I am going to be 58 in a month. While at therapy for PTSD, my therapist said she thinks I might be on the autistic spectrum. One of the first videos I found was here. So, Samdy Sam, you are very significant in my process. Before my diagnosis I was asked to write my life story and dealing with that in itself isn't easy. When I finally get over that hurdle, I will go for my diagnosis.
I have been on a long journey of self-diagnosis and re-diagnosis as novel information was added to my knowledge base. I thought I had autism because the diagnostic criteria is so out of date. I was proud btw. What I realized through intense reflection is that that autism isnt a just a spectrum... it is part of the lower end of the "latent inhibition" spectrum. The lower a person's latent inhibition, the more stimuli their brain processes. Those with significantly low latent inhibition (LLI) must have a high IQ to be high functioning as there is so much extra data to process. Low Latent Inhibition + Low IQ = Dysfunctional Autism or schizophrenia depending on variations of complex factors. High functioning autism to the best of my analysis is the convergence of low latent inhibition and above average or even brilliant intelligence. Both of those criteria overlap with me.. but i beleive I have discovered a key to understanding the difference between them. Brain lateralization! (and something else but too much to describe in one sitting). High brain lateralization + LLI + high IQ = HFA. switch the variable "high brain lateralization" to low in that equation and it isnt autism. Though the difference is so slight that this comment is mostly semantics.. I even stim... it's just very subtle. But I have no order in my life. I dont eat the same foods, have absolutely zero routine, no repetitive compulsions, and that other thing i previously stated that i dont have space to fit in this already over-sized comment. If I peaked your interest, let me know cuz I have alot more information. Critical and novel information. Concepts that will re-shape current diagnostic systems if i could get one person to listen. but i cant keep my s#it together so i have no credentials and this enlightenment will probably die when i do. Anyway. love your channel. Love autistic people and depending how you look at it i'm on your spectrum or you're on mine lol. So for those who cant get a diagnosis, you may or may not be autistic... but 100% if you think, or know that you have autism, guaranteed either way you have LLI if you're asking yourself that question.
this sounds a lot like how my thought process has been. I recently did the WAIS test and found out I have an IQ of 141, which made me research giftedness, and there are so many similarities to autism, with sensory overload and alike. key difference is perhaps that if you're OE (over excitable) you might still be quite able to read other people and understand social convention, but disregard it because you find it stupid, wheras for some autistic people the difficulties of theory of mind might slow down that process a lot, to the point where the natural process of learning social skills might become too difficult to figure out by yourself. regardless, the struggle to fit in over time creates trauma if you've grown up in an unfit environment. I also have very little desirable structure, and I am sensory seeking at times, I tend to have anxiety ridden safety routines that has restricted me to a quite passive life, but at the same time I'm craving intellectual stimulation so much that i suffer from sheer boredom my anxiety has turned me life into. so there are so many things to take into consideration. In my book, if you are having problems you need support to find a solution to, it doesn't matter if you are "truly" autistic (whatever that is), you still deserve the support you need to lead a functional and happy life. This similarity also further reinforces the idea that autism is a collected umbrella term for anyone who falls on the extreme ends of the normality curve, and who suffers difficulties fitting in with rest of society. sorry for the spaceless rant, I am feeling hyper and i love this channel.
Bro what book? I need someone to help me write book or. vice versa. i am a savant. nothing to brag about it is actually an extremely painful experience being so aware of the world. I have an IQ of 130 but my low latent inhibition causes me to analyze everything. I suggest while waiting for the premier, go to bi-polar barbie low latent inhibition and pick part 2
Sounds like me, I never heard of LLI but just talked with my terapist about not having any routines and other weird things that don't add up. My autistic son is similar in many ways and I'm gaining knowledge mostly because of him. Having similar IQ but couldn't figure how to live..
@@bodhisigma3452 i didn't mean an actual book, but "in my opinion". i thought that was an idiom. english is not my first language. I looked at a couple of videos by bipolar barbie, and while i liked a lot of what she had to say, her claim that low latent inhibition and a low IQ is the leading cause for autism sounds a bit simplified and also makes it sound as if all autistic people have a low IQ, which we both know is not the case. So that turned me off... but the term low latent inhibition was new to me and gave me a new perspective, so thank you for that!
And my apologies, my poor memory forgot what you had written in your post above, i see your explanation is a lot more nuanced than bipolar barbies was.
Well done for tackling such a horrendously complicated and complex subject, and doing a remarkably good job of it. Not on rewinding videos: You know you're old when you make a cultural reference that no-one gets; you know you're really old when they make one that you don't get.
Stressful stuff is absolutely traumatic for me, whether I choose to realize it in the moment or not. You hit it right on the head, Sam! 18 minutes in, this video is so good! Thank you for this level of representation! I appreciate you. ❤️
I've done EMDR twice. I have to say, I'm undiagnosed at 27 years old but hopefully will be a step closer to an Autistic diagnosis tomorrow because I have an unemployment assessment. The first time I did EMDR was in mid-2021 until Jan 2022 for a rape that happened in Feb 2020... however, came to learn that I had actually been sexually abused and raped multiple times before as an adult and oiiii the shame and guilt that came with feeling awkward, helpless and frozen because I would go quiet and inward... Honestly, the thoughts are traumatising too. It's funny how the body knows exactly what's going on though and conceals that realisation from consciousness to cope in the moment but wow, it sticks around haha :'). Second time... childhood trauma 😎oh yeah, the big one... Before starting, I had already participated in about 70+ hours of 1-1 therapy (since age 11), so it genuinely was THE big one for me because I had gotten to the skeleton. During the closeout session questionnaire, one of the "most positive things" to come out of this series of EDMR was that it helped distinguish between my trauma symptoms and neurodivergent symptoms... The biggest curveball was how much I had downplayed and denied a lot of pain and suffering, and my oh my the constant, high level of dissociation going on. I made the comment to my sibling that despite having neglectful and abusive parents that would've psychologically disturbed anyone to some degree, growing up in this world autistic genuinely is so traumatising! I mean, social isolation in the wild for us humans meant being more vulnerable to death. We're genetically coded to find that traumatising so that we attach and bond with other humans, join communities and stay safe together away from predators. It's A LOT to manage, especially when your brain and body are taking in more information from the world than it does projecting information. EMDR is great, but be open to learning new things about yourself. It can be a lot to learn about something you didn't know was trauma or even have memories come to the surface that you didn't know existed. Take your time with it, have patience with yourself, and JOURNAL! If you think a memory, feeling or whatever comes up for you during processing is stupid or not traumatic or whatever it is... GO WITH IT! You will come to the answer, you have to go with it. You will find out why that thing comes up for you. I wish you all the best.
This is so helpful and affirming! I have been diagnosed with CPTSD, told by multiple psychologists that I probably have BPD, and I relate heavily to many autistic women about their experiences. I’ve realized that the label doesn’t matter to me as long as I understand my own feelings and behaviors. A lot of these are considered co-morbid because the symptoms are so alike. Thanks for speaking to my experience :-)
I've had PTSD, mostly from a bad emergency medical event, but all the autism trauma was layered in there too....and I have recovered. It took time, it took treatment and therapy. I had lifelong anxiety and now I have very little anxiety without medication or treatment, I give myself lots of self-care and a lifestyle that works for me. Healing is possible, recovery is possible. 💛💛💛
15:02 I got a car accident once when my sister & kids had been in the car. None of us got injured, but now my sister refuses to let anyone else drive her around. If someone else has to drive, then she will grip the seats like she’s gonna rip it apart. I suppose that’s what happens when someone is in an accident where they flip over in a car & they didn’t have any control in the situation.
This is such a good quote I felt the need to repost it (~18:35) "The society that has been largely built by neurotypical people puts intense stress on us, doesn't recognize our resultant trauma, sometimes doesn't even recognize our autism, so how many traumatized autistics is it going to take for the psychological establishment to take notice of this and to convince them to include it under certain diagnostic criteria? Because just spending time around the autistic community you can see how most of us are carrying trauma around just from existing, let alone counting the people who have actually suffered significant traumatic events, or whose very existence is enough to put them in danger on a daily basis due to their skin color, gender presentation, or visible disability."
I’m 37 and am considering going for ASD assessment and also have trauma prior to 5 years old in many forms. Intense trauma 8-15 years old. How do I know if it’s ASD or is it post trauma, not yet cleared, I’m experiencing?
Selestine Overholser they can be very much misdiagnosed but it’s all about the level Of struggles you have and how long you have had them , for me my autism sighns have been there since day 1 , in photos I don’t make any direct eye contact even though it looks like it and I stim a lot . It’s very important to look back and try to unscramble it
Thanks for this Sam. I had my autism diagnosis this year at age 51 but at 21 I was diagnosed with PTSD following an incident during my second year of uni. You are absolutely right when you say it’s not the incident itself that matters it’s how your brain reacts and I wish I and others had understood that at the time. People laughed at me too when I told them what happened. I was so traumatised I had to take a year out of uni and I had terrible anxiety with panic attacks.
Lovely video! Very informative! In regards to EMDR, I am autistic and have PTSD and I can attest that EMDR works quite well! I now can remember or discuss some of the traumatic events that have occurred without going into crisis mode. I acknowledge that those events were horrible or am sad that they happened, but just mentioning it will no longer overwhelm me to the point of engaging in harmful behavior to distract or numb me from the memory of the event. I can now think, “Oh, that happened. It’s sad that it happened, but it happened.” and I can go on with my day. Before the EMDR I would have been quite triggered and very overwhelmed by the thought or mention of the event. I too have anxiety around meditation and will only do mindfulness/meditation type activities while with my therapists.
I absolutely love your warning about meditation! I know this was minor passing point. Everything else was excellent also. I loved hearing your story of trauma. It was so validating. But this tiny point about meditation actually being potentially harmful and traumatic, and yet everybody says this is what to do - that is brilliant and so important. It's kind of a microcosm of the autistic experience. Everybody says you should do this, and everybody else likes it, and yet it is awful to you, but you are labelled as weird, non-compliant, ... if you show any reluctance to follow the pack. And that is a perfect example of the micro trauma, the tiny cactus needles that we live with every day, that we are more sensitive to and more prone to getting thrown at us. Thank you for making this video!
My first attempt at group meditation we had to name 5 things for each of our senses (well the 5 most known) and I was looked at weirdly for naming noises from electricity and water running so I got more anxious
@@cockycookie11. Different kinds of touch are actually totally separate sensory systems, including pressure, itch, thermoception (hot and cold), and nociception (pain). 2. You can sense where your body parts are (proprioception). 3. You can sense tension in your muscles. 4. You can sense changes in balance, gravity, and acceleration (the vestibular sense or equilibrioception). Mine is hypersensitive so roller coasters are unbearable. 5. You can sense your hydration level (thirst). 6. You can sense time. 7. Many animals can sense magnetic fields (humans can but only very weakly). 8. Fish can sense vibration and pressure gradients with an organ called the lateral line (that's why you shouldn't tap on fish tanks). 9. Cartilaginous fishes (sharks, skates, and rays) can sense electric currents in addition to magnetic fields with an organ called the ampullae of lorenzini.
I *just* started microdosing on 🍄 a few days ago, and am today - and then this video came up. Such perfect timing 💫 For US viewers, 🍄 have been decriminalized in Oregon, and in Oakland, CA theres also a church where they're available, just like in a cannabis dispensary.
I’m suspected autistic by myself and my former therapist with whom I did EMDR. I haven’t heard of an EMDR experience that was quite like mine. EMDR works with bilateral stimulation of the brain. To start with developing safe resources, my bilateral stimulation was tapping on both sides of my body. I had the choice to tap my hands, my feet, my toes, whatever I liked. I think I went for my toes. When it got to the harder stuff, we found that I absolutely needed to hear the bilateral stimulation. Squishing something with both hands was no good. Looking at something moving from side to side was no good. I’m a hyper-aural person. The headset had choices of different tones and clicks. It also went at different speeds. It was my choice for what I liked of those options. I chose the click at the slowest speed. EMDR teaches emotional processing and reprocessing. It teaches you to distinguish, identify, and feel+experience different emotions. It teaches emotional processing. It teaches you to feel the emotions instead of think them.
I recently discovered that I'm neurodivergent and I've been recounting all the painful memories I've had.. Apart from social isolation and bullying I was also physically and emotionally abused by my parents. It has been very overwhelming and honestly it's very scary how much my brain has learned to forget and ignore just in order to cope with all the trauma. I really like this video. Although I already had some sense myself, everything is very well spelled out in this video and it really helps me understand what happened to me. Also I noticed that you were very emotional when you talked about your experience after the accident. Although it was subtle I totally sensed it.. Just wanted to let you know ❤
This was so helpful. I was diagnosed as autistic earlier this year and just delve into the trauma topic as I’m convinced that my mental state can’t be the result of being autistic in itself. That would be awful.
I remember a moment from when I was little where I had a case of curiosity killing the cat. I was at my aunt's apartment building and I ran ahead to go press the elevator buttons. Doors open and I jumped in and waited for my dad to catch up. Doors closed. I didn't know how to operate an elevator at that age... (I think I was about 7 or 8) It felt like an eternity before those doors opened. I avoided elevators for years after that. I think it was only about four years ago when I started using elevators again. I'm 25. Then our elevator at work broke down while a co-worker was in it. If it had happened to me I'd have lost it.
Next time you are in an elevator take the time to evaluate how it makes you feel. Since you are strong enough to get in elevators again you have a decent chance of confronting your fear and working through it. Just don't hide from your feelings, that never ends well :)
Thank you! Everyone needs to hear this and no one else is saying it. I have been incorrectly diagnosed with a half dozen different conditions because responsible testing and differential diagnostics were ignored. These irresponsible and false diagnoses used by MG/BH providers to judge me and they delayed my proper diagnoses for over 25 years. Thanks Sam! ❤
I currently do EMDR therapy and I find it extremely helpful, I have suffered quite a lot of trauma since childhood and was recently diagnosed with ASD level 1. I will ask my therapist if we can go on holiday where you live 😂 Boy I have to hand in my dissertation and am super late with it because traumas hit me like a firework just before having to write it...wish me good luck
I am a 52 yr old American female. I just recently had my last big fail with a work choice. I trained for months to be a truck driver and loved it but then waited a year to get hired thinking if I had "everything just right" before I was hired I would be able to "nail it" "this time". (.What I have said to myself on multiple attempts at finding a suitable work situation my whole life- something that really mystifies those around me who know how "intelligent, observant, organized" (and on and on) I am. I always knew that something was not quite right my whole life. I only recently considered in my late adult life that I might be autistic on "some level" After a lifetime of trying to figure it out and being misdiagnosed, misunderstood, bullied, and just plain laughed at for my monologing, specific interests, gestures, social failures, and acute and detailed observations of others that people.find quite startling. The point being, after watching multiple of your videos, I feel quite rattled and relieved at the same time I guess because it in detai seems to address so much about me. (I also have an undergrad in counseling).( I was hoping to go on to my masters but wanted to work to save for that-- the trucking was WAY too chaotic and unpredictable and triggering when you atart out with mega carriers, they really throw you under the bus- so even though I loved the actual mechanics of the job and all the taks and stimuli etc, the chaos of not being able to control too many other factors as a company driver sent me into panic. I just could not regulate too many aspects without my own truck like sleep, scheduling, food, etc., and without certain predictors of just basic safety issues, it got way too stressful for me. So another failure and I have completely holed up! I really have hope for the first time after seeing these though. I have tried to talk to therapists and others in that past to unlock some of the codes that seem.to govern my life to no avail. It is very difficult to get the appropriate help and sometimes it can be a huge set back even with misinformed individuals. Hopefully going forward with new information and strategies I can find some level of minor success in figuring out what kind of work I could manage to get me back on track to studying towards my goals. This is a very important piece I think to the puzzle that has been my life. I cannot thank you enough for the content. Maybe I can begin to work with these mysteries now and interact and interface with myself and others in ways that can accommodate some modicum of progress!
Thank you! It took a long time for therapists to see through the trauma and see that I'm autistic. Also, I have done EMDR, I found it to be very intense.
Applauding the "how many traumatised autistic people is it going to take" I was diagnosed as bpd 2 years ago and upon helping my 2 sons with very obvious autism, I am no aware I have autism too. I did a screening today and scores as the Dr said as "high" now I may finally get a proper diagnosis as I attend a clinic for autism in 4 weeks. I've almost cried watching your videos as they relate to me on such a personal level. I am so pleased I hyper focused on this as now my eyes are open and I feel so validated. You've been a blessing to my peace of mind and I love what you're doing. Thank you so much
Thank you so much. 🙏🏻I found this episode very validating as a person with C-PTSS, who was assessed as having autistic traits, but was told that it was all just complex trauma (acquired neurodiversity), including my ADHD, which I was subsequently diagnosed with by a clinician I trust. My autism assessment had the unfortunate impact of reproducing the invalidation I grew up with in my family of origin and, thus, triggering the original trauma. I've since been able to validate my own experience of autism and access "diagnosis by community."
This is so complicated. I have autism and DID, and in a way they make me more suceptible to stress and "less" suceptible to trauma (because my brain is so used to it that it knows exactly what to do with it already, it gets instantly shoved into a box and life goes on as usual). (If you don't know what DID is, oversimplifying it, think about trauma disorders as a spectrum, where it goes PTSD -- CPTSD -- OSDD -- DID) EMDR doesn't work for me, unfortunately, because it doesn't play well with people who easily dissociate (in a way, autistic people who get shutdowns more often might want to be careful with it too). None of the therapies I've had access to with little money and cheap therapists actually work at all, for one reason or another. I don't know if that's because of autism, DID, or both, but it's extremely frustrating. I really wish professionals would tailor more of therapies towards the patient instead of trying to use cookie cutter recipes on everyone (they say they do, but in the end they only do if you fit that cookie cutter in some way).
I have DID and probably autism spectrum. I'm fairly high functioning. I agree about the tailoring of therapy toward the patient and what they are presenting.
@@jillianguilford5191 Yeah, we've given up on mental health professionals, the ones we have access to are just atrocious. We're doing the best we can with internet and information we have access to and we've been doing better than listening to them, really. I guess we're lucky we are at a time access to information is so easy. (We just have to be careful with misinformation too)
I lived in an apartment that had a pervasion 'insect' problem that sent me into a full on breakdown multiple times. I feel like that affected me in a way similar to PTSD but feel like I'm not able to claim it since its hard to tell people that I have PTSD from bugs vs. an assault or something like that. I do still have nightmares about that apartment and every speck of dirt gets the harshest scrutiny until I can verify its not a 'threat.' The way it affected me I feel must have something to do with my probable autism.
![[MV] A leap of faith...ความเชื่อใจครั้งสุดท้าย (From "Petrichor the series")](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/U1piZH2CNXA/mqdefault.jpg)
"Why being autistic in this world, might be traumatic in itself." YES!!
My goal is to create cities for various groups, one being a city by autistic people for autistic people to serve as a ideal place to live or vacation or seek assistance or treatment or just regular medical treatment unrelated for people with autism and thus also have autistic people doing research about autism and creating the solutions for us -- if you want something done right, do it yourself sort of energy but as a collective.
@@Alienami that is a great idea I would move their were I'm accepted for being me.
@@Alienami I feel like with that there would be issues, biggest one would be Elon Musk on a technically could be invited. /j
@@NANA-su5ql Glad you said it and not me. 😜👍
@@Alienami I was with you until you started judging others, who is to say he does not feel the same pain in the same way as the rest of us?
When you said, "it's not about the event, it's about how your brain reacts to it," I suddenly started crying and had to pause to understand why. It's like you gave me the permission I needed to be afraid of the things/events that I try and trivialize to avoid feeling weak. It helped lift some of the shame off my shoulders and I truly thank you for that.
Interesting, to me saying that it's not about the event implies that the event "wasn't that bad", and saying that it's about how your brian reacts to it feels victim-blamey, because I identify with my brain, it is a (disobedient) part of me. I'm glad it helped you.
@@bramvanduijn8086 Ironically, from what I understand, it seems like the way that you took it strips the context that it seems she's trying to fit on it and putting a context on that modern-day societies seem to put on it.
She said a minute or so prior that it seems society tries to define events as traumatic or not in a competitive and objective sense. From what I understand, she was disagreeing with/disproving that stance. So from what I understand, I believe she's saying the objective event isn't necessarily what qualifies something as traumatic. It's about the subjective internal experience. So it's not society's place to determine what's traumatizing. Each person determines what trauma is/was for them. In saying this, I think she was going for correcting society's faulty logic, but not making a negative value judgment on anyone who is traumatized in the process. It seemed to be stated as neutral fact to me.
Now, I'm curious: What led you to interpret her words the way that you did?
It's a diverse ,and overwhelming world . We often intend good , think alot ,as far as what's best for others ,and ourselves, not just our own survival instincts ,based on our own experiences, and feelings . And often find we are not all so different, as well . I love the way you communicate about this subject ,and hope many others are also helped by it . And it's context. When we seem to lack in some areas ,we are so often gifted instead ,or in others areas . Bless you for educating ,and opening up on this subject. 🙏 for God's blessings in every area of your life ,in Jesus's name .(If your not of Christian faith, no negative intent intended ,I happen to be ) .
That is exactly how i feel, for years i blocked certain things away and when i finally dod confront them in therapy i found myself always minimising it with comments like “not as bad as you think, or wasn’t too bad,” generally just labeling events with titles like that as if the fact i said they were small made me feel any better or accepting of then, i hope you were kind to yourself Jeremy and forgave yourself for being a victim, you see whats wrong with my last statement … either way, i hope youre in a good place
لا إلاه إلا الله
"But by events that other people might not even consider traumatic"
Omg yes thank you
My parents have said to me over and over "oh, 'wah!" get over it." They traumatized me. Very frustrating.
Yes!
I always felt that was the case, but this is the first time that I've heard someone else say it. I know I'm a delicate f*cking flower - but I've also been through enough to break a person. I'm much stronger than I look.
Yes. Exactly that!🙏👏👏
So, I almost got diagnosed with autism, but the therapist found out, I experienced trauma and I then I instead got diagnosed with cPTSD and the autism-diagnosis was dropped completely. Now, five years later, after talking to several people with cPTSD, some autistic, some not, I am almost 100% sure that I am actually autistic. In addition to being traumatized. Because I can't relate to ANY traumatized people, except those who also happen to be also autistic and also ALL my friends are diagnosed autistic (or in the process of getting a diagnosis), because I can't seem to be able to deal with neurotypical people. Not even traumatized ones.
But no therapist will listen to me, because the diagnostic critieria are so similar and why would I need to know in the first place and it's really frustrating.
Actually, I've been searching for a new therapist because I moved recently and my go to topic is "you know, I think I might be autistic", because if they aren't even willing to listen to that, how are they supposed to work with me on complex trauma? Like, I don't even want a diagnosis, because I really am not sure about whether I actually am autistic or not, I just want a therapist who doesn't instantly go to "nah, can't be, you understand sarcasm".
Apparently not understanding sarcasm is the single most defining autism trait there is. (Spoiler: 90% of my diagnosed autistic friends understand sarcasm.)
So far I have not found a therapist, been searching since Dezember 2019 (but also Corona got in the way), but I'm hoping that maybe... someday...
don't go to a therapist, most of them know close to nothing about autism, go to a psychologist
@@okthen4912 in germany a therapist is where you would want to go to, while a psychologist is where you wouldn't want to go to. but thanks for the thought!
@@cirrusfloccus6080 oh. in the USA therapists of more of support for events that have happened or somebody to just talk to, not somebody who really knows about physchological conditions and stuff like a physchologist
@@okthen4912 Here it's the other way around! Interesting. :D Here psychologists are people who have studied psychology at university while therapists are people who studied psychology at university, then worked as a psychologist for 5(?) years and also did another 3-year-training where they learned more about psychology and working with patients. :D
I think TH-cam is more helpful than the shrink.
As an autistic person who developed PTSD after a non-violent incident my freshman year of college, I can't emphasize enough how important this video is to me. I'm coming up on nine years since it happened and I still can't say the name of the girl who traumatized me, but felt for years that since it was a social incident and not a dangerous one I couldn't really have PTSD. It's very healing to hear otherwise.
I am so glad this video helped and I wish you the best of luck in your healing.
@pristinejoel8802 your child is dead pristine. He's dead. Accept it, he's not coming back!!
My biggest problem with being bullied as an adult was that it took me years to understand what was happening (being bullied) before I could act on it. But the trauma still happened, I didn't know why and it took me many more years to recover from it. But luckily I have learned my lesson and now am able to recognize bullying behavior and extract myself from it.
I think bullies tried to bully me during school but I never noticed until later on XD. I guess they lost interest when I didn't react the way they wanted me to react. However, bullying in adults is SO true, I thought I was the only one seeing something weird at work and everyone else just decided to ignore it or they didn't think it was something important enough to deserve their attention.
One thing I've started considering to figure out what sensory processing disorders I might have is asking "if most people were as bothered by this as me, would they do something about it?" Most neurotypicals are not accustomed to being uncomfortable for long periods and if that sound was physically painful to them they would eliminate it. This applies to a lot of other things as well I think.
David Smith Bullying for life not just for school.
We only have one life,
But that life has to chosen for us to be aspergers/autism.
The birth choose we have no control over.
Wether you say it was science choose that we are just naturally evolution. We had to be one of 1% of aspergers/autism born on the planet.
Or your religion God gave you aspergers/autism at birth as gift for you to help future generation.
Autistic though history change the world we live in.
"Autism is a part of our evolution" Attwood.
How do you see your life time with autism?
Do you feel that your mind can change generation of NT thinking in the future?
Same, I guess. I hardly tried to fit in, just did my own thing, and people learned to leave me alone. In a way, I actually miss being more oblivious to that kind of thing. Honestly, my parents continually getting on my case about being abnormal and not having enough friends bothered me more. I ended up trying to change almost everything about me, trying to get their understanding and approval. It never worked, only destroyed me.
@@ryk6207 yeah, I feel like it didn't bother me as much then. Possibly because kids are dumb and immature. Sadly, they become immature adults, unwilling to just be honest with you or try to understand you. It's just miss a social queue or do something abnormal (even if no one is hurt by it), permanently be on the outside with most people, but they pretend forever everything is fine.
I learned, to my disappointment, that adults are not that different from children.
It must be hard to diagnose adults especially with autism because trauma symptoms can sometimes overlap autism symptoms
@Female Autism Phenotype True, except sometimes when the trauma comes from the family environment when the child is traumatized on a very young age. Then it will have symptoms of trauma/ stress from an early age and those grow with the child during their development, influencing on many levels including social interaction. The distinction between autism and trauma becomes extra difficult in these situations and sometimes even impossible.
Yeah :(
@Female Autism Phenotype Would argue that many times they overlap as in you have both and that they amplify each other. asd + sexual trauma together with disability acquired or born with for example is not something I would wish for anybody.
@@EliseSecond You're talking about me 😢
@The Other Autism What is the group?
fantastic presentation! As a fellow autistic and person who is about to start grad school for counseling psych, this video was extremely interesting! My eventual goal is to provide therapy specifically for autistic teenagers and adults.
That's a great goal! Best of luck with it
That’s so great Christine! I have had a really hard time finding exactly that for my daughter. She wasn’t diagnosed until she was 17, and most things seem to be for younger children.
Please we need more support for teenagers with autism
Definitely an incredible need out there.
This is just a idea but you could invent solutions to any mental health problems you might have even if there minor and then ask other autistic people on the internet with the same problems if the inventions work for them. Even if you don't have those mental problems you are far better equipped for understanding them than a neurotypical.
Autism can also be a protective factor for PTSD.
I was diagnosed with c-PTSD years ago but now at 34, have been formally diagnosed with inattentive ADHD and Autism. It was absolutely the most empowering realization. It answered so many questions about why I behaved certain ways throughout my life, while others seemed erradic and unpredictable.
I have spent decades trying to understand why I made it out of my childhood and my peers did not (they died, were incarcerated, became addicted to drugs, etc). Meanwhile, I went to college and graduated at the top of my class. As a former foster youth, of course I studied trauma, the brain, development, etc. I wanted to understand. Why do people behave the way they do?
Interrupting statistic: Former foster youth are diagnosed with PTSD at approximately 4x the rate of war veterans in the US. My research went in that direction. It makes sense.
I continued to try to heal from my trauma. Hypervigilance, hyperfocus, sleep issues, dissociation, trouble identifying emotions, inability to find my fucking keys ever (that one might be ADHD?) I did not realize that big pieces of my struggles and identity were still obfuscated by a misdirected hyperfocus.
When I finally accepted that my brain works differently, that I am autistic and that's not a thing to heal, I started to embrace the ways that my autism had protected me from some of my traumatic experiences and how I could optimize my healing strategies in response. I did not understand my emotions, so I focused on the physiological feelings and compared them to charts listing emotions. I found areas I could focus on like shame, guilt, and worthiness.
I learned to accommodate rather than resist my autistic needs.
Overall, I believe wholeheartedly that my Autism is helping me heal from my trauma, as long as I give myself grace and accept my sensitivities as strengths.
I relate to her story.
I once was almost in a collision with a semi (but I was able to get to work safely). I was so shaken up that I tried to talk to my coworkers to feel better and they turned to me and said
“You didn’t die.” And went back to ignoring me
So for a long time whenever something traumatic happened to me I didn’t speak about it.
The other day I spun out on ice on my way to work, luckily I was safe and got to work. A new coworker of mine came up to me with concern. She listened to me and then she asked me if I needed an ibuprofen or a water… I almost cried then and there
"I'm not saying we need to reform the whole of psychology, but--"
SAME
The bullying, derision and exclusion experienced by many of us who are on the spectrum of Autism can create anxiety. Though most classmates and peers would treat me well during my youth, certain types of people -- probably because they were raised in non-empathic and conformist families -- would immediately think of me as "weird" and unsavvy socially and they would never let up belittling me.
being autictic + abusive/violent parents + bullied at school (bad enough so even a non autism person can get trauma im sure of)
so trauma i know sadly all about it
somehow im still here
Its as if you're describing me. It is a wonder ppl like us survive. As if just 1 of the 3 you listed wasn't enough. No one gave a damn right? Sorry this happened to US. God Bless
@@babygrandma8654 yes, I feel it too and it really sucks...
I relate to your experience, I also grew up with extreme poverty. I have decided that all of these experiences allow us to understand more than the majority of the population, and because of this we have a unique position that allows us to surpass others and create a great change in the world. Stay strong and have faith that what others deem unfortunate and disabilities are actually what make us unique and powerful. Love yourself and others. Love you.
@@larsmessenger7087 thats very true. My experiences as a child have made me more sensitive to others going through the same type of thing. If I see something is off with someone I try to make friends and offer my support and understanding.
Exactly the same for me. My mom was pretty bad, and still is. Serve BPD. But she has gotten better and our relationship has began to heal. But I still have lots of trauma from her and being bullied, and just trying to live as a nuero-divergent man in a world that seems engineered to piss me off, confuse me, and hurt me.
This world is engineered to be traumatic to anyone that dose not fall in line with dogmatic rhetoric, luckily bs dose not work on me and even if every one around me says “it’s normal because everyone else is doing it” no I’ll stay as I AM , Love and Abundance for All
Being bs and Psychiatry resistant can create conflict with Psychiatry because it is authoritarian and classist and can set the conditions for iatrogenic trauma. Autistics don't always come up with enough social filter in those situations. Since you're dealing with fundamentally narcissistic professionals, it can be a dangerous situation.
Establishment Psychiatry sets up a power imbalance which supports narcissistic abusers.
Fewer medical students are choosing Psychiatry as a their specialty because of the poor prognoses and the lack of data and evidence.
"Everyone else is doing it," has never been a good enough reason for me to do it.
rebel spirit helps
I am an undiagnosed autistic male. I am gay, and so I relate to the qualities of women who are autistic, and so I mask pretty well and am hypervigilant on social moods and cues. When I went through the transition from high school to college, it was very hard, but I masked through, and in the second year I had a year long capstone (Large thesis paper) and on a very hard to talk about topic that made me very uncomfortable to talk about, but it was what I believed in so I chose it. After my 18 minute presentation and 36 page paper I graduated, and from that process I got incredibly burnt out and I feel like I broke my ability to mask and push myself through situations, and hit a rock wall. I feel in a sense I am traumatized by attempting to live a normal life while being autistic.
I really feel there is truth in the higher rate of trauma in autistic individuals, its hard to live in this world as an autistic individual, and that 'dying from a thousand cuts' really struck me as relateable for my autistic experience. Its sad because how can I heal for something if every issue that hits me hard is small and will be trivialized and seen as a given. You never get closure, never heal, and then have to tredge through life while the 'social meter' drains faster and faster from so much mental baggage and strain. Which then expedites the chances of starting a depression cycle, then isolation, and then distance from those that can heal you. Its a vicious cycle. Sorry if I sound like I am victimizing myself, that is not my intent, just trying to understand why and how I am.
I reached this point at age 58 after a lot of trauma and being disabled for 10 years (8 of those I was bedridden). For me, it was trying to get back out in the world socially (I'm isolated in my home now because my health tanked again, though not to the point of being bedridden). When confronted to how some neurotypicals herd others--making us autistics the brunt of most of that--, I couldn't handle that I froze in those situations and having had a break from the behavior made the behavior I encountered feel like the last straw. I used to not freeze. I used to be quick with a response. But I'd fallen out of practice and freezing scared the bejesus out of me. Also, I shouldn't have to chastise adult bullies so that they think twice before they reach out and smack someone verbally. I think I've just become so pissed off that so many people exhibit so little grace when it comes to autistic people and people in general. I feel very done... even if I felt better. It's just so exhausting.
This is the small situation that traumatised me and turned me off to people after all those years. I was socialising with a group of lesbians who were new to each other via social networking. The gathering was an attempt to create some community. Someone mistakenly assumed I was from the same country as a guest visiting from out of town. I went to provide three quick examples of when the same thing had happened. I forget what this woman said to me, but she was calling me up short for providing too many examples. For the most part, in neurotypical people party speak, it's raise a topic, someone responds, that person responds back, move onto new topic. It's rare that the back and forth goes two rounds or a real discussion happens or someone tells a story (unless people know each other better).
Now that would feel trivial to a lot of people but it was one of two very rude things that came out of that one evening. That was only my 3rd attempt at socialising after 10 years of illness. The first event had a group of people decide that because I was American I was fair game in the making fun of Americans contest. Only it wasn't funny; they weren't funny. The one person who basically told them all to shut it became my friend; she also affirmed that they weren't funny and were simply being rude. Perhaps my being autistic and lacking the energy to smack them back contributed to just how ugly it got. It also, for me, pretty much highlights the amount of animosity that people in other countries have for Americans though they may hide it much of the time.
I can relate. I’m lgbt and autistic too. I have some ptsd symptoms stemming from my academic and thereby social difficulties with starting university and to some degree their recurrence later.
I really relate to this. Especially what you said about burning out after graduation. I felt that too and since then haven't been able to push through and force myself through life like I always did as a kid. I'm unpacking a lot of trauma these days.
Just know that I understand and you have my complete compassion and love.. I'd kill to have a friend like you in my life.... Be well 💜
Im a transguy and i relate to a lot of "womens" traits as well. That makes me feel very invalidated and even before i knew there were female traits i knew something was weird. Figuring out my gender i thought i had the reason why but now i dont think so. Going for a diagnosis soon though so hopefully my therapist will listen.
Loved the kitten by the way. I was genuinely touched by the cuteness even though it was funny
All videos that particularly talk about topics like trauma should have a kitten/cute animal break!
Psilocybin and DMT helped me actually be able to have my inside protectors feeling safe enough to start having memories of my traumas. It's been difficult but worth it. Fyi I did a lot of research first and you still have to do the therapy and work to heal. The drugs just allowed the locked door to be open. I had to make the choice to walk through it with each trauma memory. I also started doing my own exposure therapy. But that took two years for me to get there. Keep healing dear ones.
omg really??? i have the same problem of being unable to remember things clearly or not at all, just a white abyss of memory. this really made it hard to continue therapy in a meaningful way, only being able to treat symptoms. ah, i might need to start saving up these euros to maybe one day go for that session in netherlands XD. wouldn't want to risk anything less than professional, losing control is scary enough.
I only remember two instances in specific, like my hair was pulled because I wrote something wrong or ugly, and one time I didn’t wanna take a shower, and the person was fed up and threw cold water at me. Besides that, nothing, I imagine there has to be more.
i tried mushrooms and tabs and dmt but i never tried to used dmt as a tool for this, i can’t even visualize that. how does it work compared to the other psychedelics ?
لا إلاه إلا الله
No God except Allah
I've been in an abusive relationship for 8 years, but this doesn't count as "CPTSD" for psychologists because it didn't happen in my childhood 🙄🙄🙄
I surely feel like I've been to war 😫
What??? Find another therapist, seriously. You deserve to be believed, and have the support you need to heal, I'm so sorry.
You absolutely need new psychologists. I’ve been there. It’s war.
No God except Allah
C-PTSD is ANY interpersonal trauma and DOES include an abusive relationship in adulthood! It's very real
The C stands for “complex,” as well as “childhood.” I mean, how else would soldiers get C-PTSD? Hope you found a therapist who actually understood that!
I think PTSD is to the brain a bit like what an allergy is to the body. Let me explain my reasoning.
An allergy is an extreme reaction of the body to an otherwise harmless or mostly harmless substance, and allergies seem to "remember" a time where that substance entered the body where it was perceived as a threat (often by association of a real threat), and it will always seem a threat to the body from that point forward.
PTSD is an extreme reaction of the brain to otherwise harmless or mostly harmless experiences, based on a past event that the brain (correctly or not) perceived as a threat.
Much like you can not choose how your body reacts to allergens, you can also not choose how your brain reacts to events. Also, much like how every body reacts differently to potential allergens, every brain responds different to events.
Perfect description
Is is an excellent analogy. Thank you.
beautiful analogy...quite accurate as well!
Great analogy. But--allergies and trauma can be transformed. The autistic response can be smoothed a great deal but it requires acceptance by the person who has it and at least one person who can "translate" back and forth to the neurotypical world. Decency requires that the NT sometimes join the Aspie world because everyone wants friends without discomfort.
To further your analogy, a body experiencing allergic reaction is also more vulnerable to other attacks on the immune system. Similarly, a brain experiencing PTSD symptoms is more susceptible to further trauma that might otherwise seem benign.
I am a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in Ohio. I was diagnosed with Autism at the age of 34. I have gone through YEARS of counseling due to various traumatic experiences I have had throughout my life. This is why I do what I do. And I have had clients (I work with teenage girls mostly) who I could see what you are talking about...beyond the trauma response. Great video!
hi, do you work with adult women?
لا إلاه إلا الله
No God except Allah
I've heard many times that one can process traumatic events by distancing oneself from it in the memory, but when you added "like playing Sims", it clicked in a whole new way. It has recently occurred to me that I process a lot via playing The Sims 4, and now I think I can use the mental image for even actual memories. Thank you.
I have PTSD and autism. I've been abused since age five. And other stuff has happened to me than just abuse, but it's ok. This was really eye opening to me. I'm glad someone made a video answering some of my questions ☺️
🖤
It's not okay that those people did that to you, but you didn't do anything wrong to be treated that way. Best of luck on your journey towards healing and happiness.
Undiagnosed autisic female. = great life , and no body ever takes advantage
I have BPD and Autism, and it's definitely informative. Some of the things I experienced (like watching my beloved grandmother fall into benzodiazepine abuse and alcoholism) were obviously traumatic, but the most significant issues involved bullying and betrayal by people who took advantage of my social naiveté. Those would have been damaging to anyone, but they were devastating for me.
It's good to know that some people experience events like this in the same way, even if the reality behind that knowledge is tragic.
لا إلاه إلا الله
This is a topic I think about deeply and often. I've received diagnosis for ADHD, CPTSD, SPD(Sensory Processing Disorder), SPS(Sensory Processing Sensitivity/Highly sensitive person), Severe GAD, and Depression. I've been assessed multiple times for BPD and Bipolar II, with the results always being close but not quite conclusive, but even when I bring my own updated research and assessments specifically regarding autism in adult females I get told "probably not" because "blah, blah, blah, antiquated information based on male children from back in the 90's"
It took me over a year and a switch to a new therapist to get a chance to get tested...
The tester cried and apologized when she scored me, not understanding how she or the others didnt notice. I had to bite my lip from spouting "male data bias" and "S-class masking".
Just keep trying, i had that same 'seems like bipolar/BPD/schizotypial/etc.etc.whatever else it can probably be' for years, and none of those quite fit and that niggling eventually gets through...
'Similar but not quite' should be a sign for therapists to look into autism, especially in females...
Just keep trying :3
I relate to this so much. I'm so tired of being told that I have social anxiety + sensory sensitivities but there's no way I'm autistic because "look at how well you do in social situations, you know exactly what to say"
I'm trying to get diagnosed now and I'm scared this will happen to me. I've been put in the "maybe fibromyalgia" category. I have ADHD, depression, general anxiety, social anxiety, I could go on and on. it finally feels like autism actually fits me more than I ever realized, more than the other diagnosis I've gotten on their own. idk. I just want answers.
I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was having feelings of depersonalisation after a gentle and loving parent died leaving me with the abusive parent (I was in my 20s, but that loss of an unconditionally loving parent was significant). I knew I wasn't bipolar. I knew my issues were related to trauma. (Wasn't diagnosed with autism yet.) Took their damn meds, which did nothing for me. After about eight months I stopped them to no effect. I can't believe that their assessment of me didn't include my childhood trauma and the possibility that my grieving response was normal given my life experience and not a bipolar episode. Maddening. When it finally occurred to me at age 48 that I might be autistic (I read a book written by an autistic women because I was an avid reader and the book looked like it would be interesting--a huge lightbulb moment), my new trauma therapist said I was too self reflective to be autistic. Um, no. He dismissed it and so then did I. It took him 5 more years to reach the conclusion that I was in fact autistic. He had me take a series of tests and conducted some observational tests (without me knowing what he was doing) before he was satisfied that I was, in fact, autistic. Meanwhile, he kept saying things like: "You're hyper-rational and you expect other people to be as rational as you. You process things more than any person I've ever met." Once he realised what was going on,, my seeming pathological naivete and inability to make sense of other people's motives made sense to him.
Oh my stars, all of these replies!
@candid_veteran I have been in maybe fibro for two years with doctors having tested me and last month, when I told my neuro that the meds we prescribed for something else helped my chronic pain, as they are also used for fibro and would have had this effect on me if I had fibro, and that my rheuma and ortho suggested fibro as well, that's when the doc finally caved and wrote it as an official diagnosis.
I suggested being autistic or an aspie once and my old therapist said that it's hard to diagnose an adult and that it wouldn't help me now but I'm seriously considering asking my new therapist.
I appreciate you mentioning the issues with meditation! People always suggest it, but as someone with a trauma history and various anxiety disorders, it hasn't always gone well. Trying to meditate by paying attention to my breathing has caused me to hyperventilate. Trying to just "relax and be mindful of what you're feeling" has caused me to panic or break down crying out of the blue.
These are obviously not the desired results. :P
It's great to hear when I need and want it, but other times its disastrous. Forcing deep breathing before I am ready has physically hurt me.
لا إلاه إلا الله
No God except Allah
I'm meditating regularly and want to share my perspective. If you want to meditate to calm down etc, that's what most people do it for, a guided meditation might be sth to look into. Breathing meditation can help with anxiety but only while relieving tension actively. Any form of meditation, especially the unguided 'raw' Zazen like meditation styles may bring up all the stuff that is stopping you from getting into a calm state, mostly unprocessed intrusive thoughts, feelings, conflicts, physical tension/pain. Meditation allows a space to work through it, process it, acknowledge and let go of it. This is not comfortable and the goal of Zazen for example is not to feel comfortable during meditation. It's processing and accepting what's there. Without distraction. Until you can focus on the present moment. Transcend to a higher state, by acknowledging and letting go of everything that happens inside and around of you. This may not be the western world understanding of meditation, not the goal-oriented self-care meditating thingy.
It’s been two yrs since you posted this @stonescorpio, if you’re still struggling with calming anxiety, you can look into TRE (trauma release exercises) and neurological reset exercises / Vagus Nerve reset exercises on TH-cam.
When you’re ready to meditate I agree with previous post to try guided meditations or guide hypnosis (Marisa Peer is excellent) and when you’re ready to do breathwork, DMT breathing has a nice build up with several different breathing techniques and start with shorter breath holds. Breathwork Beats is a good channel.
When you feel anxiety coming up during meditation or breathwork, pay attention to grounding and expanding your energy/ opening up. When you feel safe & secure enough you can release the emotions or anxiety that comes up, instead of trying to push it back down. This takes practice, I know that it can feel pretty uncomfortable, but it feels better after the release 🙏🏼 Take care 🌺
I grew up with an abusive dad then went on to marry an abuser, and now deal with post separation abuse(because our systems protect abusers and perpetuate abuse). A few years ago, I was on TH-cam and watched a video on autism and was like, that sounds a lot like me. It’s been in the back of my mind for these past few years. Then I found your channel about a year ago and I forget the exact video but it was something about girls and autism, and I was like holy shit, this is me to a T. I finally felt like someone got me. I’ve been in therapy and trauma therapy many times and even when I bring it up to therapists they brush off my behaviors and struggles as my “trauma.” I can’t do many forms of therapy like EMDR, because it’s way too intense and triggering(physically), so it’s been an uphill struggle. I told my last trauma therapist that I knew the trauma was there, but I really think there’s more to it and she just dismissed me. I can go back into my childhood and think of so many situations that would definitely show I was autistic and even as an adult, situations that would also qualify. I think I’ve just learned to mask so well, that they just don’t think it’s possible. I also think the CPTSD combined with autism(and or ADHD) has literally made me incapable of functioning and it’s awful. I also developed chronic illness during my abusive marriage, soI feel like I’m up against too much and trying to constantly crawl my way out. I went back to school and am getting my degrees in psych for this reason, because so many therapists and psychologists don’t get it. I feel like they just read the DSM, come up with their own conclusions and have biases and then make guesses based on it. The mental health field needs a complete overhaul. I could go on, but I’ll stop there as I rambled enough. I really appreciate you making this video.
I don’t think you are alone at all, I have the same situation and I am 99.9% sure I am on the spectrum and currently beginning a diagnosis after being brushed away so many times due to having multiple childhood abuse traumas - so a traumatic childhood that many therapists jump on instantly. I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, CPTSD, PTSD, Depression, anxiety - and when I’ve mentioned ASD i have been told it’s probably trauma. Um.
But I know all the facets of who I am and that person Inside I ‘mask’ is so miserably and depressed mainly because I can’t be the happy person I am inside and be classed as ‘normal’, and yes I can differentiate between that pain of trauma and that pain of being isolated because of being neurodiverse, and in a way like this video is saying, they are the same. Being bullied/disregarded/penalised for being ‘different’ is as traumatic in my life as those actual incidents of abuse as a child, so I think many neurodiverse people suffer anxiety and trauma and PTSD because of the effects of living in an NT world. I wish more diagnostic methods would really consider that, and also the high rates of abuse in ND children and increased sensitivity to traumatic events.
A good therapist would have said "Lets take a look at why you think you are autistic. If you are, we might come up with some new strategies for healing." They might have also expressed surprise or embarrassment at not having considered it before.
Hey Sara, I'd like to fund Sam doing a video on how having autism can make it harder for women to understand abusive situations. Wondering what you think of this idea, that autism might impair ones ability to identify particularly emotional, verbal and phycological abuse patterns?
لا إلاه إلا الله
No God except Allah
Neurodivergent trauma is so real and I almost never hear people speak about it. I’ve only learned recently just how much overlap there is between symptoms of autism and ptsd, it’s such a beast to try to navigate the dynamics between the two. Thank you so much for this top tier explanation of a very crucial and confusing topic.
I'll admit the more I have learned about autism in girls because my oldest daughter is autistic the more I have been like oh my gosh I'm totally autistic and never knew. I've always known I was different from others but it never bothered me. I just was. I grew up in a small town and for some reason no one ever teased me to my face not sure why. The rumor mill was rife with the idea that I was a lesbian. Imagine the entire towns shock when I started dating the man who would eventually become my husband. I think that in combination with an extremely patient and loving mother and the small town thing the world was just a different place and was slightly easier than the world my daughter is growing up in. My daughters pediatrician suggested that with each passing generation autism gets worse and my daughter might want to keep that in mind for when she decides to have kids. The more I have thought about it the less I agree. It might to some degree be true but my daughter and I are extremely similar but I raise her now in a world so different from the one I grew up in and in a community so opposite of what I had and the pressure and social expectations are almost unrecognizable to me. And I wonder if it's not a worsening of her disability between generations but a change in society that exacerbates her symptoms in ways I never even had to imagine struggling.
People have also thought I was a lesbian at various times in my life. I'm a tomboy and I wasn't a serial dater, had long periods of time between boyfriends. I am married to a man now.
Look up the TedxTalk by Jac den Houting: Everything you know about Autism is wrong.
It highlights that there is nothing inherently wrong with autistic people, it's simply that their environment is not suited to them.
As the world population has doubled and then doubled again, and urbanisation has doubled and doubled again, simply the sheer volume of people surrounding you and the intensity of sensory stimuli are undoubtedly making "normal" everyday life much much much harder to tolerate.
TLDR Whoever told you autism gets more serious with each generation clearly hasn't taken into account social changes.
Biologically it's very hard to imagine a mechanism for stronger autism each generation however it's very easy to see how social and environmental changes are dramatically worsening circumstances for Neurodiverse people
The autism doesn't get worse, the nuero-typicals just are getting progressively harder and more complex to understanding with time.
The pediatrician is incorrect, my brother, one sister, and I all have an easier time than my father.
*Trauma takes a really long time to recover from, but I want to assure you that with the right treatment and support, it's possible.*
I literally started crying.
My auntie -- mother's twin -- is probably autistic and has never been appropriately diagnosed. As a result, many "normal" events throughout her life have been enormously traumatic for her. I appreciate the information and ideas here SO MUCH! You've given me many positive insights for understanding where she is coming from; I can at least give her more of my patience.
لا إلاه إلا الله
No God except Allah
@@hhhghhhhhhhhh what does that have to do with the original comment?
@@ShintogaDeathAngel there is no relationship between them,do you know riligion islam
"That is a wider conversation that psychologists need to have." You are the first person I've ever heard put into words exactly what is so challenging about finding therapy for whatever ails you on a psychological level. It's a bloody minefield out there!
I think TRAUTISM is a very good word.
I found the button to slow the video and I'm much more OK. Thanks Yo.
Kitty González Clever. 👍
Yes she does speak rather fast. Hard to catch everything she is saying. Wish she would slow down a bit and give us a chance to process what she is saying. I'm nuerotypical and I struggled a bit to keep up with what she was saying.
It works just as well to speed it up if a speaker is too slow for me or I don't have enough time :)
I am 74 and only self-diagnosed 10 years ago - 64 years of trauma. But I also realised last year that I have childhood emotional neglect (CEN) - 73 years of trauma. I tried EMDR - which was difficult because it has been made into a strict format that was useless for me in particular - few specific memories. However, I decided to make a list of events or incidents that I knew happened, and did DIY EMDR for each one, and I am sure it helped.
لا إلاه إلا الله
No God except Allah
@@hhhghhhhhhhhh your comments are not helpful
@@ShintogaDeathAngel You should know that I do not comment on what is written or published
I am trying to correct a belief that some people have. It is belief in other than God Almighty
Please talk about Autism, BPD and CPTSD. Having all disorders and symptoms at the same time. 🖤
Autistic and left a wrong church, my wife
does not want to become free, also.
This can make feel me hopeless with all the symptoms of (c)PTSD......
Brainspotting did help, also medicals, but ist still hard to live in a country, where nobody is really willing to help.....
OMG! What you said about having a panic attack after meditating really hit home, EVERYONE tell's you to chill and meditate and I've had really bad sleep paralysis following a meditation session before going to sleep and nobody acknowledges it can actually happen (I know that's because most of the ppl encouraging maditation are neurotypicals but I think even neurotypicals can experience that type of negative experience) As an autistic adult I've been fighting my whole life the idea of "if everyone does it, it must be so" but once in a while I give in and try what others do to cope (with anxiety mostly), and so far, nothing worked (except my own inventions).
Personally with asd and with cptsd mindfulness and vipassana has been more appropriate edited however under the guidance of true professionals / teachers in my case ie people who have been engaged and teaching a long time.
I thought autistic people were actually less vulnerable to mental disease. But after seeing this video I think that might just be me taking my own inventions for granted. Still I don't hear much about neurotypical people inventing a solution to mental health problems that nobody else seems to understand.
I've done many meditation/mindfullness exercises in therapy, and find they can usually be really helpful. That's under guidance and someone knowing what to do. Then when given advice and some stuff to do on my own it never works, I'm unable to focus. (I also deal with dissociation so it tends to just trigger that instead)
I freaking hate mindfulness, makes my head a mess to focus on my internal experience and I’d much rather sit in a quiet, orderly not to bright room and ground myself surrounded by my favourite things.
Now I know why, after 11 years, I still shiver whenever I'm around my stepmother and mother... I cry for days before I have to meet them. I lose my appetite, I get paranoid... It's awful...
Sorry for your struggles. Ever thought of cutting them out of your life? I have with my own mother simply because she always made me feel worthless and I didn’t want to feel that way anymore. Unfortunately the damage has already been done and I do feel worthless permanently, but at least I now recognise that I have the power to choose who to allow into my life and I haven’t spoken to my mother in almost four years now. Best decision I have ever made for myself.
@@plan4life I avoid them as much as I can, but I have two afab children and I don't think is right to keep them away from their grandparents. I keep close to protect them, but I can't keep them away.
Thank you for your kind words and I wish that better days await for us!
@@KarolinePCosta Would they be toxic in your children’s life? We need to protect our babies too! I don’t know obviously what issues you have had with your mother and stepmother, but I would worry about the littluns too should they be exposed to negative influences. But I truly wish you and your young family only good things. ❤️
Personally I can recommend reading "unfuck your brain" by (lots of fancy title letters) Faith G. Harper. Something that goes well with the spectrum peeps and trauma part: "A trauma is an event that happens outside our understanding of how the world is supposed to work. A traumatic response is when our ability to cope with what happened goes to sh*t and it's affecting other areas of our life. [...] Because fancy terms and definitions aside? A trauma is a "what the eff was That" situation. A trauma can be [...] or any kind of life event that kicks your ass. " - the above mentioned book, p34. I find this expresses how I've felt and feel after traumatic events quite well. And well again, I can definitely recommend the book (lots of swearing though, just as a heads up) :)
Yes, and so when an event could have been potentially traumatising but you kick its ass or the person trying to do you harm, you end up not feeling traumatised. All depends on outcome and also, how you think about it, which may or may not have to do with whether or not it links to other similar situations that were traumatic. I've had seemingly small events feel quite traumatic (and also truly life threatening events that were traumatic) and had a couple of large events where I could have been killed have left me feeling powerful.
Bonsoir Elliott...
@@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS A big factor is the subjective experience of control. If it hurt you and you can't control it, it can be traumatising.
I have High Function Autism and PTSD and I have lived most of my life with this. In UK I have had a lot of tramua and mistreated in the Mental Health Services to a point where I do not trust anyone especially doctors. I find how I manage is through meditation and ti chi I live outside society so I have a down place to go after a day in society and the crazy people and life can be. So I can become better and stronger so I can deal with mad world in society where there is full of horrors and hetic lifestyles. But this is me and how I manage what is going on around me
I'm starting to recognize what "emotional hard work" means and this was that for me. But worth it. I feel so much more validated. I believe I started as a plain old queer autistic. Just a weird little transboy being directed into gender conformity. But I was in a family with enough dysfunction to cause problems without the autism and queerness. So the bullying happened both at school and at home, but you see, never progressed to dramatic physical assault. Frankly I'd panic and turn into a screaming dervish, holding something hard at arm's reach and spinning so fast you'd get hit if you got too close. Stopped the assualt every time, but not the constant bullying. It also gave the adults one more excuse to blame me for it all. I was dismissed and blamed at every step. By the time I was eight, I was displaying extreme CPTSD, but they dx'd me hyperactive and lazy brained. Said I was clearly smart enough to be a winner but not motivated to try harder. The general conclusion was "more bullying." By the time I was sixteen I'd learned not to tell them after a suicide attempt. By age 24 I learned to say "No, just rehearsing for a play, I'm fine, not depressed all, I'm fine." Because I knew I didn't belong in that psych stream. Now age 56 I got a dx of autism at age 34, but I still get accused of making it all up to dodge things. What things I don't know. I've had more physical pain, mental and emotional pain, and social pain than anyone can stand to hear about. Even to this day I'm told to get out of my victim narrative, suck it up and decide to be fine. But that doesn't make my jaw stop clenching when I'm inattentive, or loosen my gut so it flows right, or help me sleep, or , or, or anything. It doesn't work that way. So thank you for validating me. I'm on my own out here in a sea of nasty bullies and exhausted distant bystanders who act like they might be nice if I knew them better, which I don't because they're just a little too busy for me.
You are brilliant. People do a lot to not face the truth and I wish "they" would settle down, have courage, listen deeply, and be appreciative of your efforts. (Dare I even hope they would provide real comfort?) I am certain (without knowing you) that you have developed more coping skills than many people can even name.
Blessings, and good luck! "No, fine; just rehearsing for a play"-- that's classic.
I had forgotten about this, but your video suddenly reminded me. The fundamental theme of Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf is how the highly sensitive can suffer in an insensitive society the same way that a shell shocked soldier can. That was such a good book. Both the soldier and the sensitive characters were so relatable and meaningful. It's been 14 years since I read that book.
Finally someone is brave enough to talk about the risks of meditation! When I studied transcendental meditation at the Tibetan monastery it caused me to have hallucinations and flashbacks. It also made me super high and afterwards would go on shopping sprees for random things that I had no desire to own.
EMDR is much more effective for PTSD, it's a life saver.
In my youth, I once meditated so hard, that I almost had an out of body experience. I drew myself back just in time, before my consciousness went flying into the Light. I imagine that would have caused separation of my body from my spirit (death?) Yes, be careful with it! It can cause extreme neurological reactions, like a drug. It is not harmless. And for some, it can lead into the Occult (too much to go into here); let's just say that opening oneself up like that without proper supervision is like taking a psychedelic drug, and may draw in other demonic forces, as well. That's not to say just being still and reflecting upon scripture or using a well thought- out, benign mantra or prayer would have the same effects. A lot has to do with motive, maturity, and having a tested spiritual guide. I have heard that TM isn't something to be taken lightly.... Especially since they assign you a mantra. Did you know what you were saying? Possibly not. I myself was in another cult that used other techniques (light and sound). I don't like to use specific names on social media, so let's leave it at that. Now, I just stick to accepted, ancient Judeo-Christian prayers, Lectio Divina, Adoration, etc. Best wishes. I'm glad you left TM!
What? Were did she mention any risks about meditation? I have mediated pretty much my whole life, with few interuptions.
It just makes me calmer and more put down to earth than before. Never ever heard it could be bad?! But maybe if the trauma is too large you should only do guided meditation with someone there. It can get pretty deep sometimes.
"Mental health in the military... lets not talk about that"
*laugh-cries in veteran*
I'll have to look more into C-PTSD, that sounds like my base state, the military just put PTSD classic icing on top of that trauma cake, and figuring out im autistic and battling to get tested and confirmed... oof, just... fun...
Seeing stuff like this vid just... it helps, and i hope it helps others, no one should be anywhere NEAR the head space ive been in most of my life...
I get it, and its just nice to hear someone else does too~
Tes Reso I'm shell shock by Samdy sarsacm PTSD military joke.
@@garyfrancis5015 i honestly laughed, cause sad but true, i live in a house of sarcasm, its sometimes the only way to get through the day :P
C-ptsd sounds like what I am having to work through. I was in a few explosions and turned to cannabis and alcohol for many years. Now being sober I am realizing I probably am on the spectrum and used substances to mask. I tried EMDR on myself a few months ago and had a solid panic attack but am curious to try it again.
I appreciate the new designator (really) but it makes me nervous about a new stigma being born. Complex? What a one-dimensional, binary, way of seeing people. Cui bono (to whom is it a benefit?). Duh. Past unhealed/unattended-to conditions make a bigger injury harder to deal with.
@@kylestolk7915 Thank you for your: bravery in doing the healing, speaking the deeper truth, speaking so publicly. I learned not to ask what could be worse, but an aspie in a military grade explosion creates a whole new category in the catalogue of horrors. I am so glad that you are here! Much love and healing to you.
19:30 thanks you for saying that. So many people don't know or don't want to know. Meditation and mindfulness can indeed be damaging when done wrong especially when someone has trauma's. Not just by panic attacks, but also by learning some people to suppress even more which can lead to dissociation when someone has an avoidance style of coping.
Edit to clarify, I don't say meditation is suppressing, but it can lead to some people suppress.
Completely understand.
exactly. i find yoga and walks in nature while trying to focus on the body, breathing and surroundings much more helpful. sitting in silence and not moving can be dangerous to some. but i think starting with walks is quite safe.
I had EMDR therapy and it was very helpful to me in recovering from CPTSD. In fact, after completing EMDR therapy, I was then able to see that my ongoing issues were not caused by my early childhood traumas, and I was later diagnosed with ASD.
Same here! Are you pursuing any treatments now for ASD?
I have two instances of trauma, one of which being socially driven and both of which not being societally considered "traumatic." It wasn't until I spoke with other people who have trauma based/triggered disorders to acknowledge that I was even traumatized. I think I'm realizing that I actually have triggers based in severe ableism. The "I am autism" ad from Autism speaks actually caused a panic attack and reminded me from when I was 12. An entire musical triggers me into both a panic attack and blind rage. Simultaneously.
Funny, I just thougt about this topic recently. I had flashbacks of my mum screaming when I was a kid and always thougt I was emotionally neglected. But now it came to my mind that maybe my parents were actually not that bad (because they really aren't now) and I just couldn't properly process some things because of my autism and alexithymia
What is alexithymia? Never heard of it.
@@redbirddeerjazz I feel this on a spirtual level. I am currently visiting a therapist to accept what my autism is to me. During my intake they were asking questions about childhood and although it isnt a new topic for me the talk about, the way they asked about it just loosened stuff up.
Like. Bruh. Thank you for aknowledging my pain and shame. It just all finally starts clicking together you know?
I stopped telling myself that "i should be over it" and instead my goal became "what does my diagnose mean to me and how to I work with it in an effective manner?".
Doesn't matter how they would measure up to average. Their job was to parent You. If you're hurt from that, they were shit parents to You.
My aunt did the eye movement therapy for one of her traumatic childhood events, and she found it worked extremely well.
THANK YOU for this video!! I would love to see more videos on the nuances of autistic C-PTSD. I also love that you brought up Borderline Personality Disorder as a common misdiagnosis. I was misdiagnosed with BPD in my youth, and living with the diagnosis was absolute hell. The amount of stigma behind the disorder brought me so much shame and the misdiagnosis provided little to no explanation for why I felt how I felt and acted the way I did. Ten years later, I’ve come to understand I am most definitely autistic (friends and family hit me with the “Well duh, you didn’t know? We could tell”) and your channel has been profoundly helpful in navigating my autistic awakening. Thank you so much for all that you do, Sam!! 🖤
I can relate. They ought to do away with that so-called dx. It's both confusing and meaningless at the same time.
Thank you for this. I’ve been following you for a few months now (discovered I’m autistic about a year ago, at age 39), so I’m still occasionally watching your older content. It’s been incredibly validating because many of my own observations and the conclusions I’ve drawn about professional level understanding and diagnosis of autism are just so incredibly well articulated by you-it’s played a very significant part in this process of putting all this stuff into a perspective I can wrap my head around.
And now here in this video, I’m recognizing even more clearly that I have in fact experienced trauma at multiple points in my life-that I’ve unfairly derided myself, telling myself I’m just being a baby, that dealing with the loss of a friend, for example, shouldn’t be this hard. When the reality of it is those experiences WERE hard to deal with. They WERE traumatic-~for me-in ways that had significant longterm effects on my mental health.
I am undiagnosed autistic, I do have ADHD and CPTSD. I have gone through most of these things, especially socially and with family who were brought up under stigmatism kind of characteristics. So thank you for showing me I'm not alone 💜💜💜 How did you get through people not listening to you when you tried to get diagnosed? People won't take me serious but autism runs in both sides of my family.
This is so relatable. I went through a lot of "trauma" during my life, but I never realized it was trauma. It was just life..... I didn't know I was Autistic (being assessed shortly). In 2016 I was held hostage at gunpoint and that's when my brain split into may different scenarios and from that moment I have an inner shaking that has never gone away. From that point, my life has been spiraling. I am hoping the diagnosis for Autism is correct. My daughter was diagnosed last year at 18yrs old. We have the same "quirks". So here I am, 45 with ptsd/anxiety/depression and now possibly Autistic with ADHD but it all makes sense.
I think I had PTSD or some sort of trauma from working at a grocery store as a personal shopper for the ecom branch. I know it sounds silly, but I was in tears everyday while working there either before work, after work, or during work. It was so so stressful. After I left the job I had a year and a bit where I was a complete and utter mess. I'd cry at the littlest thing and I was simply exhausted and couldn't think of a job that I'd be able to handle (this is coming from someone who's always wanted to work/have a job).
I now work at a fabric store and I mostly love it- and my boss knows I'm autistic which helps. The only thing I don't like about my current job is when there's nasty customers.
Anyway I'm interested to see what you'll say on the topic!
I explain all the definitions in the video. You can have suffered trauma without having PTSD.
A number of years ago, at least in NA, there was an anti-bullying campaign to encourage adolescent targets of bullying to postpone or entirely avoid suicide: “It gets better.”
The service industry employees begged to differ, running the adult-abuse awareness campaign: “It gets worse.” Where I’m going with that is that you are absolutely not alone in feeling like long-term exposure to hostile customers and/or employers can erode your mental health and affect you for years after.
Congratulations on finding a better work environment.
You are not alone!! I had a very similar experience working in retail and restaurant jobs.
it could perhaps also "just" have been a proper burnout depression/fatigue. I have been there and it is absolutely awful. im glad it is better.
This is why I have a hard time with getting diagnosed. I was abused as a child and rejected by my adoptive mother as being “Weird” “What’s wrong with you” and “why don’t ppl like you” were common phrases she said to me. I can definitely look back and see autistic traits in myself, but this tends to get dismissed by professionals as trauma. Also, I was bullied every day of grammar school and with “childhood friends”
My therapist used EMDR when I got stuck on a triggered emotion to help me reset. It was amazing how well it worked and how quickly.
I feel like NOS used to be a favorite thing for a lot of psychologists to diagnose things that weren't highly stereotypical lol. Thank you for this video! It's not an area I am well versed in and I know many autistic people deal with trauma of varying degrees. I do think the large overlap between things like autism, ptsd, bpd, etc make it very difficult to diagnose properly as well as know how to find help in ways that aren't harmful
Yes it seems like the "misc" category doesn't it?
@@YoSamdySam Yes!
Thank you for making this video, I know I have cPTSD and PTSD. And I've always thought being Autistic put me at a disadvantage for it, and the events that caused it, I've been physically assaulted, bullied more times than I want to remember all through my life, and like so many other's on here have received misdiagnosis and treatments, never finding the right support that looks at the connections between everything, it's been infuriating and exhausting, and I rarely feel heard or understood, I feel let down by MH services, they gave me the equivalent of a band aid for life threatening wound. And I know now I will have to stitch myself together.
I feel my suffering is justified, I always get told "there's nothing to cry about, why are you crying"... Yeah that's not the best thing to say to me
This is just the best video. I love it and needed it in so many ways. Thank you. Well done. Well done.
I am getting assessed for ASD starting at the end of this month and the last apt is the end of Nov. I was diagnosed with ADHD in mid-August. I am 31. I was sexually assaulted at age 18 and was diagnosed with PTSD at age 23. I have done a lot of EMDR and it is incredibly helpful. I have just been confirmed to be in remission from PTSD!!! 8 years. I do feel very sensitive to the world and once I did EMDR for my sexual assault, I decided I wanted it done for some of the other bad memories. It has been a very positive thing! I also just had my first DBT group therapy session last week! I have done CBT with a psychologist and ACT through a workbook on my own alongside going to counselling and talking about some of the stuff I learned. Thanks for this video. Sometimes I feel like I've never related so much to someone as I do to you when you share your stories.
In my childhood many people thought that I was mentally disabled because I was different - at age one when I was shy from strangers, I just stuck out my tongue. I was 5 years old when I learned how to dress and I was about 6 when I learned how to tie my shoe laces. I have always felt huge empathy for animals and hatred towards people. I have always had trouble managing my time and studying. People very often find me annoying and weird. And I haven't been diagnosed with autism, but I have been diagnosed with adaptive behaviour disorder with depressive symptoms.
Omg, thanks for talking about being bullied at uni. I was severely bullied in art school, and it's very hard to talk about without feeling like I'm being a crybaby. Even my profs were in on it 👍✨
I have CPTSD from quite a number of things; Abusive step dad for 10 of my developmental years, parents getting married and divorcing half a dozen spouses, step siblings and ex step siblings, abusive step mothers--using their trauma as an excuse to abuse others, a 2 year abusive relationship. I felt like I had nothing for so long. My fiance is the most precious, sweet, gentle and understanding person I know. We have been together 5 years now, and he has sat with me through some of the darkest healing, and because of this I feel so able and confident. So much so that I've started to come across ASD, and after LONG evaluation, I've concluded that I'm on the spectrum. My fiance didn't quite understand at first, but after explaining it to him, he's started to see ASD characteristics that I didn't even see. Now we are getting married in 6 months and I am saving up to get an ASD diagnosis so I can tell my family. Learning about ASD has brought me to the most "me" state I've ever felt. I feel most understood when it's from an ASD perspective, I wish it wasn't something that so many people brush off. I think they don't quite understand what autism is or why it is important to know and accept. Living in a world created and catered to neurotypicals as someone who is autistic is incredibly crippling when you don't understand your difference from the rest of them. Like "why can they do it so easily?" "there must be something fundamentally wrong with me" and all the shame that comes with no being "able" to be neurotypical.. It's astonishing. When being neuro-diverse is a SUPER POWER. I can now comfortably say no to things that I know overstimulate me socially, without shame of being "flakey" or "antisocial", I can understand me now better than ever, it's the greatest blessing, but I really don't think I would be here without someone loving and supporting every version of who I am, and committed to learning with me. I know that's a lot. I appreciate people talking about this. Sharing about this. It's important, and it's powerful. Thank you.
I got misty-eyed reading "saving up for an ASD Diagnosis".
I have a diagnosis of PTSD and Im in USA but I was NEVER diagnosed with ASD. I’m KNOW I am in the spectrum. ASD became my topic of interest for many years now and my kids have different dads and are autistic. I took good care of my pregnancy and never drink alcohol, not even pain killers to protect my babies. I have a psychiatric history. I have done extensive research and taken many psychology classes in my school. CPTSD sounds like me in many aspects.
Thanks so much for saying these things, I’ve had all the symptoms of deep trauma and felt bad that I don’t have serious sounding reasons for the ptsd, but as a psychologist once told me, simply growing up in this world as an autistic person is traumatic
Uh... why is this relatable? The fact I am autistic with PTSD. Also known with some alters of my own too. Don't ask how or why....
What hit it home for me (as someone who has pretty undeniable C-PTSD and have been looking into getting diagnosed with ADHD AND autism) was when someone on reddit said “sometimes developmental trauma could seem like having a developmental disability”.
It’s making more doubt myself about checking for ADHD and autism... but at the same time I can’t help but feel like autism (and ADHD) gave me pieces of the puzzle that FINALLY gave me the insight on what I struggled with by allowing me to hone in on the parts I actually struggled with (ex. struggling with conversations in general but autism allowed me to understand which parts I struggled with: not processing what people say even if I can hear them, not being able to say what I had in mind, not being able to read the tone, struggling to understand figurative language and sarcasm (I do sense it, but either I have no idea what it could mean or my brain is buzzing with several possible meanings and I have no idea WHICH ONE people were referring to)).
Before understanding autism, I just blamed it on my lack of socialization from haha, trauma and the sometimes self-imposed, sometimes out of my control and even unwanted, self-isolation and THAT was why I was so socially stunted but that just left me thinking “well I’ve been getting more social exposure, so why do I keep doing things wrong?” and made me think I was just pathetic until I realized that I might actually be less capable of some aspects of social skills because of autism - which allowed me to critically look at my experiences in detail and identify the parts I struggle with and come up with better ways to address those.
A really important topic to discuss. Your level of discomfort/stress talking about it makes it easier to relate (if that makes sense). Autism and trauma is so interwoven, and our experiences of trauma is often very different from NTs. It makes it really hard to find information for us.
Thank you so much for the information. I have a BPD diagnosis and definite PTSD. I have recently suspected I am possibly on the spectrum and found you while doing my therapy homework. I sent this video to everyone including my therapist. I have tried EMDR but I am terrified of facing my trauma so it would send me into a deep depression for days after. I mask very well so unless you’re one of my 3 people you don’t know. My house shows it and I guilt myself into washing my hair. I work an overnight weekend position and have about one hour of human interaction over a 40 hour week. In a laboratory at a hospital. I’m pretty so people confuse my happiness with being normal but I always say something weird and can never make eye contact and laugh all the time. I over share….. obviously. I have a few close people and the rest of the world scares me because of the possibility of awkward conversations. People walk by my house and come up to my fence and call me down from my porch and my dogs will be going nuts and they are aggressive and they try to befriend us. I’ve spent half my life trying to fit in and now I’m just isolated. I’m happy and in this current state and not allowing any negative energy around me. You did scare me with the while panicking attack induced while meditating so I can’t do that now lol. When this no longer suites me I’ll change behaviors but my therapist and I have contingency plans lol. I look forward to watching more of your material. Also thank you so much for the trigger warning. I had to take crying brakes and couldn’t handle some of the information but I knew that meant I needed to hear it. On a personal note I think you’re amazing!
I want to thank you. I stumbled on your videos. And I connected to what you were saying. I was able to get a diagnosis at 43 years old. looking forward to all your videos. Gives me comfort to know there is a community.
I have had a life full of trauma even before I joined the military. I never fit in really anywhere quite right and always felt like people just seemed to move to the beat of a different drum than me. Now at the age of 29 I finally discovered why that is. I am ASD positive and I finally feel ok with forgiving my failures and faults because I understand myself deeper than I ever previously imagined and I realized that my 2 ASD positive brothers and I understood each other on a level I never even knew until now.
I didn't start coming to terms with the possibility that I'm autistic until this year and I actually think psylociben was what really helped with that. I did a heroic dose in December and came out of it with a sense of self acceptance and forgiveness I'd never had. That's what allowed me to stop burying my suspicions and really start looking into it. I haven't been able to get diagnosed because of my insurance but I can definitely say I've made more progress in the past 8 months on my mental health than ever before.
I am going to be 58 in a month. While at therapy for PTSD, my therapist said she thinks I might be on the autistic spectrum. One of the first videos I found was here. So, Samdy Sam, you are very significant in my process. Before my diagnosis I was asked to write my life story and dealing with that in itself isn't easy. When I finally get over that hurdle, I will go for my diagnosis.
Wishing you the very best in your journey!
I have been on a long journey of self-diagnosis and re-diagnosis as novel information was added to my knowledge base. I thought I had autism because the diagnostic criteria is so out of date. I was proud btw.
What I realized through intense reflection is that that autism isnt a just a spectrum... it is part of the lower end of the "latent inhibition" spectrum.
The lower a person's latent inhibition, the more stimuli their brain processes. Those with significantly low latent inhibition (LLI) must have a high IQ to be high functioning as there is so much extra data to process.
Low Latent Inhibition + Low IQ = Dysfunctional Autism or schizophrenia depending on variations of complex factors.
High functioning autism to the best of my analysis is the convergence of low latent inhibition and above average or even brilliant intelligence.
Both of those criteria overlap with me.. but i beleive I have discovered a key to understanding the difference between them.
Brain lateralization! (and something else but too much to describe in one sitting).
High brain lateralization + LLI + high IQ = HFA.
switch the variable "high brain lateralization" to low in that equation and it isnt autism.
Though the difference is so slight that this comment is mostly semantics.. I even stim... it's just very subtle.
But I have no order in my life. I dont eat the same foods, have absolutely zero routine, no repetitive compulsions, and that other thing i previously stated that i dont have space to fit in this already over-sized comment.
If I peaked your interest, let me know cuz I have alot more information. Critical and novel information. Concepts that will re-shape current diagnostic systems if i could get one person to listen. but i cant keep my s#it together so i have no credentials and this enlightenment will probably die when i do.
Anyway. love your channel. Love autistic people and depending how you look at it i'm on your spectrum or you're on mine lol.
So for those who cant get a diagnosis, you may or may not be autistic... but 100% if you think, or know that you have autism, guaranteed either way you have LLI if you're asking yourself that question.
this sounds a lot like how my thought process has been. I recently did the WAIS test and found out I have an IQ of 141, which made me research giftedness, and there are so many similarities to autism, with sensory overload and alike. key difference is perhaps that if you're OE (over excitable) you might still be quite able to read other people and understand social convention, but disregard it because you find it stupid, wheras for some autistic people the difficulties of theory of mind might slow down that process a lot, to the point where the natural process of learning social skills might become too difficult to figure out by yourself. regardless, the struggle to fit in over time creates trauma if you've grown up in an unfit environment. I also have very little desirable structure, and I am sensory seeking at times, I tend to have anxiety ridden safety routines that has restricted me to a quite passive life, but at the same time I'm craving intellectual stimulation so much that i suffer from sheer boredom my anxiety has turned me life into. so there are so many things to take into consideration. In my book, if you are having problems you need support to find a solution to, it doesn't matter if you are "truly" autistic (whatever that is), you still deserve the support you need to lead a functional and happy life. This similarity also further reinforces the idea that autism is a collected umbrella term for anyone who falls on the extreme ends of the normality curve, and who suffers difficulties fitting in with rest of society.
sorry for the spaceless rant, I am feeling hyper and i love this channel.
Bro what book? I need someone to help me write book or. vice versa. i am a savant. nothing to brag about it is actually an extremely painful experience being so aware of the world.
I have an IQ of 130 but my low latent inhibition causes me to analyze everything.
I suggest while waiting for the premier, go to bi-polar barbie low latent inhibition and pick part 2
Sounds like me, I never heard of LLI but just talked with my terapist about not having any routines and other weird things that don't add up. My autistic son is similar in many ways and I'm gaining knowledge mostly because of him. Having similar IQ but couldn't figure how to live..
@@bodhisigma3452 i didn't mean an actual book, but "in my opinion". i thought that was an idiom. english is not my first language. I looked at a couple of videos by bipolar barbie, and while i liked a lot of what she had to say, her claim that low latent inhibition and a low IQ is the leading cause for autism sounds a bit simplified and also makes it sound as if all autistic people have a low IQ, which we both know is not the case. So that turned me off... but the term low latent inhibition was new to me and gave me a new perspective, so thank you for that!
And my apologies, my poor memory forgot what you had written in your post above, i see your explanation is a lot more nuanced than bipolar barbies was.
Well done for tackling such a horrendously complicated and complex subject, and doing a remarkably good job of it.
Not on rewinding videos: You know you're old when you make a cultural reference that no-one gets; you know you're really old when they make one that you don't get.
Stressful stuff is absolutely traumatic for me, whether I choose to realize it in the moment or not. You hit it right on the head, Sam! 18 minutes in, this video is so good!
Thank you for this level of representation! I appreciate you. ❤️
I've done EMDR twice. I have to say, I'm undiagnosed at 27 years old but hopefully will be a step closer to an Autistic diagnosis tomorrow because I have an unemployment assessment.
The first time I did EMDR was in mid-2021 until Jan 2022 for a rape that happened in Feb 2020... however, came to learn that I had actually been sexually abused and raped multiple times before as an adult and oiiii the shame and guilt that came with feeling awkward, helpless and frozen because I would go quiet and inward... Honestly, the thoughts are traumatising too. It's funny how the body knows exactly what's going on though and conceals that realisation from consciousness to cope in the moment but wow, it sticks around haha :').
Second time... childhood trauma 😎oh yeah, the big one... Before starting, I had already participated in about 70+ hours of 1-1 therapy (since age 11), so it genuinely was THE big one for me because I had gotten to the skeleton. During the closeout session questionnaire, one of the "most positive things" to come out of this series of EDMR was that it helped distinguish between my trauma symptoms and neurodivergent symptoms... The biggest curveball was how much I had downplayed and denied a lot of pain and suffering, and my oh my the constant, high level of dissociation going on. I made the comment to my sibling that despite having neglectful and abusive parents that would've psychologically disturbed anyone to some degree, growing up in this world autistic genuinely is so traumatising! I mean, social isolation in the wild for us humans meant being more vulnerable to death. We're genetically coded to find that traumatising so that we attach and bond with other humans, join communities and stay safe together away from predators. It's A LOT to manage, especially when your brain and body are taking in more information from the world than it does projecting information.
EMDR is great, but be open to learning new things about yourself. It can be a lot to learn about something you didn't know was trauma or even have memories come to the surface that you didn't know existed. Take your time with it, have patience with yourself, and JOURNAL! If you think a memory, feeling or whatever comes up for you during processing is stupid or not traumatic or whatever it is... GO WITH IT! You will come to the answer, you have to go with it. You will find out why that thing comes up for you.
I wish you all the best.
This is so helpful and affirming! I have been diagnosed with CPTSD, told by multiple psychologists that I probably have BPD, and I relate heavily to many autistic women about their experiences. I’ve realized that the label doesn’t matter to me as long as I understand my own feelings and behaviors. A lot of these are considered co-morbid because the symptoms are so alike. Thanks for speaking to my experience :-)
You hit the nail on the head! "The label doesn't matter... etc." Thanks!
I've had PTSD, mostly from a bad emergency medical event, but all the autism trauma was layered in there too....and I have recovered. It took time, it took treatment and therapy. I had lifelong anxiety and now I have very little anxiety without medication or treatment, I give myself lots of self-care and a lifestyle that works for me.
Healing is possible, recovery is possible. 💛💛💛
15:02 I got a car accident once when my sister & kids had been in the car. None of us got injured, but now my sister refuses to let anyone else drive her around. If someone else has to drive, then she will grip the seats like she’s gonna rip it apart. I suppose that’s what happens when someone is in an accident where they flip over in a car & they didn’t have any control in the situation.
This is such a good quote I felt the need to repost it (~18:35) "The society that has been largely built by neurotypical people puts intense stress on us, doesn't recognize our resultant trauma, sometimes doesn't even recognize our autism, so how many traumatized autistics is it going to take for the psychological establishment to take notice of this and to convince them to include it under certain diagnostic criteria? Because just spending time around the autistic community you can see how most of us are carrying trauma around just from existing, let alone counting the people who have actually suffered significant traumatic events, or whose very existence is enough to put them in danger on a daily basis due to their skin color, gender presentation, or visible disability."
Yes, I’ve been feeling a connection. Interested in this
I’m 37 and am considering going for ASD assessment and also have trauma prior to 5 years old in many forms. Intense trauma 8-15 years old. How do I know if it’s ASD or is it post trauma, not yet cleared, I’m experiencing?
@@sarahsuero From my understanding that cannot be done without a professional assessment... All the best!!
Selestine Overholser they can be very much misdiagnosed but it’s all about the level
Of struggles you have and how long you have had them , for me my autism sighns have been there since day 1 , in photos I don’t make any direct eye contact even though it looks like it and I stim a lot . It’s very important to look back and try to unscramble it
Thanks for this video I’m about to watch.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thanks for this Sam. I had my autism diagnosis this year at age 51 but at 21 I was diagnosed with PTSD following an incident during my second year of uni. You are absolutely right when you say it’s not the incident itself that matters it’s how your brain reacts and I wish I and others had understood that at the time. People laughed at me too when I told them what happened. I was so traumatised I had to take a year out of uni and I had terrible anxiety with panic attacks.
So sorry to hear you had a similar story to mine and hope that you've found peace. ☮️
Lovely video! Very informative!
In regards to EMDR, I am autistic and have PTSD and I can attest that EMDR works quite well! I now can remember or discuss some of the traumatic events that have occurred without going into crisis mode. I acknowledge that those events were horrible or am sad that they happened, but just mentioning it will no longer overwhelm me to the point of engaging in harmful behavior to distract or numb me from the memory of the event. I can now think, “Oh, that happened. It’s sad that it happened, but it happened.” and I can go on with my day. Before the EMDR I would have been quite triggered and very overwhelmed by the thought or mention of the event.
I too have anxiety around meditation and will only do mindfulness/meditation type activities while with my therapists.
I absolutely love your warning about meditation! I know this was minor passing point. Everything else was excellent also. I loved hearing your story of trauma. It was so validating. But this tiny point about meditation actually being potentially harmful and traumatic, and yet everybody says this is what to do - that is brilliant and so important. It's kind of a microcosm of the autistic experience. Everybody says you should do this, and everybody else likes it, and yet it is awful to you, but you are labelled as weird, non-compliant, ... if you show any reluctance to follow the pack. And that is a perfect example of the micro trauma, the tiny cactus needles that we live with every day, that we are more sensitive to and more prone to getting thrown at us. Thank you for making this video!
My first attempt at group meditation we had to name 5 things for each of our senses (well the 5 most known) and I was looked at weirdly for naming noises from electricity and water running so I got more anxious
Great perspective on senses.
What other senses are there?
@@cockycookie11. Different kinds of touch are actually totally separate sensory systems, including pressure, itch, thermoception (hot and cold), and nociception (pain).
2. You can sense where your body parts are (proprioception).
3. You can sense tension in your muscles.
4. You can sense changes in balance, gravity, and acceleration (the vestibular sense or equilibrioception). Mine is hypersensitive so roller coasters are unbearable.
5. You can sense your hydration level (thirst).
6. You can sense time.
7. Many animals can sense magnetic fields (humans can but only very weakly).
8. Fish can sense vibration and pressure gradients with an organ called the lateral line (that's why you shouldn't tap on fish tanks).
9. Cartilaginous fishes (sharks, skates, and rays) can sense electric currents in addition to magnetic fields with an organ called the ampullae of lorenzini.
I *just* started microdosing on 🍄 a few days ago, and am today - and then this video came up. Such perfect timing 💫
For US viewers, 🍄 have been decriminalized in Oregon, and in Oakland, CA theres also a church where they're available, just like in a cannabis dispensary.
I’m suspected autistic by myself and my former therapist with whom I did EMDR.
I haven’t heard of an EMDR experience that was quite like mine.
EMDR works with bilateral stimulation of the brain.
To start with developing safe resources, my bilateral stimulation was tapping on both sides of my body. I had the choice to tap my hands, my feet, my toes, whatever I liked. I think I went for my toes.
When it got to the harder stuff, we found that I absolutely needed to hear the bilateral stimulation. Squishing something with both hands was no good. Looking at something moving from side to side was no good. I’m a hyper-aural person. The headset had choices of different tones and clicks. It also went at different speeds. It was my choice for what I liked of those options. I chose the click at the slowest speed.
EMDR teaches emotional processing and reprocessing. It teaches you to distinguish, identify, and feel+experience different emotions. It teaches emotional processing. It teaches you to feel the emotions instead of think them.
I recently discovered that I'm neurodivergent and I've been recounting all the painful memories I've had.. Apart from social isolation and bullying I was also physically and emotionally abused by my parents. It has been very overwhelming and honestly it's very scary how much my brain has learned to forget and ignore just in order to cope with all the trauma.
I really like this video. Although I already had some sense myself, everything is very well spelled out in this video and it really helps me understand what happened to me.
Also I noticed that you were very emotional when you talked about your experience after the accident. Although it was subtle I totally sensed it.. Just wanted to let you know ❤
''The problem with trauma is that it's not funny''...now THAT was quite funny!
This was so helpful. I was diagnosed as autistic earlier this year and just delve into the trauma topic as I’m convinced that my mental state can’t be the result of being autistic in itself. That would be awful.
I remember a moment from when I was little where I had a case of curiosity killing the cat. I was at my aunt's apartment building and I ran ahead to go press the elevator buttons. Doors open and I jumped in and waited for my dad to catch up. Doors closed. I didn't know how to operate an elevator at that age... (I think I was about 7 or 8) It felt like an eternity before those doors opened. I avoided elevators for years after that. I think it was only about four years ago when I started using elevators again. I'm 25. Then our elevator at work broke down while a co-worker was in it. If it had happened to me I'd have lost it.
Next time you are in an elevator take the time to evaluate how it makes you feel. Since you are strong enough to get in elevators again you have a decent chance of confronting your fear and working through it. Just don't hide from your feelings, that never ends well :)
Thank you!
Everyone needs to hear this and no one else is saying it.
I have been incorrectly diagnosed with a half dozen different conditions because responsible testing and differential diagnostics were ignored.
These irresponsible and false diagnoses used by MG/BH providers to judge me and they delayed my proper diagnoses for over 25 years.
Thanks Sam! ❤
I currently do EMDR therapy and I find it extremely helpful, I have suffered quite a lot of trauma since childhood and was recently diagnosed with ASD level 1. I will ask my therapist if we can go on holiday where you live 😂 Boy I have to hand in my dissertation and am super late with it because traumas hit me like a firework just before having to write it...wish me good luck
I am a 52 yr old American female. I just recently had my last big fail with a work choice. I trained for months to be a truck driver and loved it but then waited a year to get hired thinking if I had "everything just right" before I was hired I would be able to "nail it" "this time". (.What I have said to myself on multiple attempts at finding a suitable work situation my whole life- something that really mystifies those around me who know how "intelligent, observant, organized" (and on and on) I am. I always knew that something was not quite right my whole life. I only recently considered in my late adult life that I might be autistic on "some level" After a lifetime of trying to figure it out and being misdiagnosed, misunderstood, bullied, and just plain laughed at for my monologing, specific interests, gestures, social failures, and acute and detailed observations of others that people.find quite startling. The point being, after watching multiple of your videos, I feel quite rattled and relieved at the same time I guess because it in detai seems to address so much about me. (I also have an undergrad in counseling).( I was hoping to go on to my masters but wanted to work to save for that-- the trucking was WAY too chaotic and unpredictable and triggering when you atart out with mega carriers, they really throw you under the bus- so even though I loved the actual mechanics of the job and all the taks and stimuli etc, the chaos of not being able to control too many other factors as a company driver sent me into panic. I just could not regulate too many aspects without my own truck like sleep, scheduling, food, etc., and without certain predictors of just basic safety issues, it got way too stressful for me. So another failure and I have completely holed up! I really have hope for the first time after seeing these though. I have tried to talk to therapists and others in that past to unlock some of the codes that seem.to govern my life to no avail. It is very difficult to get the appropriate help and sometimes it can be a huge set back even with misinformed individuals. Hopefully going forward with new information and strategies I can find some level of minor success in figuring out what kind of work I could manage to get me back on track to studying towards my goals. This is a very important piece I think to the puzzle that has been my life. I cannot thank you enough for the content. Maybe I can begin to work with these mysteries now and interact and interface with myself and others in ways that can accommodate some modicum of progress!
Thank you! It took a long time for therapists to see through the trauma and see that I'm autistic. Also, I have done EMDR, I found it to be very intense.
Applauding the "how many traumatised autistic people is it going to take"
I was diagnosed as bpd 2 years ago and upon helping my 2 sons with very obvious autism, I am no aware I have autism too. I did a screening today and scores as the Dr said as "high" now I may finally get a proper diagnosis as I attend a clinic for autism in 4 weeks.
I've almost cried watching your videos as they relate to me on such a personal level.
I am so pleased I hyper focused on this as now my eyes are open and I feel so validated.
You've been a blessing to my peace of mind and I love what you're doing.
Thank you so much
Thank you so much. 🙏🏻I found this episode very validating as a person with C-PTSS, who was assessed as having autistic traits, but was told that it was all just complex trauma (acquired neurodiversity), including my ADHD, which I was subsequently diagnosed with by a clinician I trust. My autism assessment had the unfortunate impact of reproducing the invalidation I grew up with in my family of origin and, thus, triggering the original trauma. I've since been able to validate my own experience of autism and access "diagnosis by community."
This is so complicated.
I have autism and DID, and in a way they make me more suceptible to stress and "less" suceptible to trauma (because my brain is so used to it that it knows exactly what to do with it already, it gets instantly shoved into a box and life goes on as usual).
(If you don't know what DID is, oversimplifying it, think about trauma disorders as a spectrum, where it goes PTSD -- CPTSD -- OSDD -- DID)
EMDR doesn't work for me, unfortunately, because it doesn't play well with people who easily dissociate (in a way, autistic people who get shutdowns more often might want to be careful with it too).
None of the therapies I've had access to with little money and cheap therapists actually work at all, for one reason or another. I don't know if that's because of autism, DID, or both, but it's extremely frustrating.
I really wish professionals would tailor more of therapies towards the patient instead of trying to use cookie cutter recipes on everyone (they say they do, but in the end they only do if you fit that cookie cutter in some way).
I have DID and probably autism spectrum. I'm fairly high functioning. I agree about the tailoring of therapy toward the patient and what they are presenting.
@@jillianguilford5191 Yeah, we've given up on mental health professionals, the ones we have access to are just atrocious.
We're doing the best we can with internet and information we have access to and we've been doing better than listening to them, really.
I guess we're lucky we are at a time access to information is so easy. (We just have to be careful with misinformation too)
@@foldingsystem3814 I agree.
I lived in an apartment that had a pervasion 'insect' problem that sent me into a full on breakdown multiple times. I feel like that affected me in a way similar to PTSD but feel like I'm not able to claim it since its hard to tell people that I have PTSD from bugs vs. an assault or something like that. I do still have nightmares about that apartment and every speck of dirt gets the harshest scrutiny until I can verify its not a 'threat.' The way it affected me I feel must have something to do with my probable autism.