I have decided to walk out of my 6 year marriage (11 years relationship) it’s so sad to find out that I have been living with a liar, gaslighter and a cheat( sexual texting with one of his female friends) , verbal abuse and I have been paying 50% . Now I want to move out and live my life ( I have a successful career and business .) and he shameless told me that I have to stay and help him pay off the mortgage and I am selfish for not thinking of the kids. I have checked out and better off without him . Never ever will I help build a man .and now he is not only broke but ugly too. Thank you for sharing this is helping me be my authentic self.
Good luck girl,better late than never.Give yourself the healing you deserve,if he can't take care of the kids.Take custody and create a beautiful family without him.Men we women create broken homes,but that is just not true.Most times,they cheat and lie and expect you to stay by thier side.As a divorced mother of 4,I never wanted my kids growing up without seeing their Dad 24/7.But life is what it is.Good luck.
It's said that at least after 40 the true character and soul of a person shows in their looks.. I can imagine he's ugly 🤭🤷 Every human who eats meat dead animals aka victim energy aka energy of betrayal and abuse is inhumane animals do not consent to being food to humans they don't have sacred contract with humanity to be eaten otherwise humans would have enzyme uricase to detox uric acid and it is inhumane and ugly and abusive what humans do to them humans who should actually be humane and masculine and protector and feminine and caring and have dominion over animal kingdom and will turn ugly if doing ugly things, same as eating too much cooked food makes humans unconscious; in opposite to fresh, ripe fruit, soaked nuts, fermented food like kimchi or tempeh, sprouts like alfalfa and sprouted seeds or germented seeds like sunflower seeds containing much biophotons and life and are conscious and not causing anyone to die; cooked food leads to becoming unconscious and all sickness and shadow lies in unconsciousness. You are what you eat and what you consume and the 5 people you surround yourself with the most. Wish you well and much love, Spiru lina aka Iamotra33 aka Annemarie
@@ioanad9653 my reply was ro rhe person that said that "it's so sad, we have to play games, why can't people just be mature" in the comments. Idk why it appeared under yours.
Feminine energy naturally wants to be proven too…women forgot their power and true nature, it use to align with the actions of men, men are still the same…women changed and expect very little
Girls!! We need to normalise taking it as slow as possible. It’s not that fun when you are stuck with children from someone you can’t tolerate to look at!! 🙄 This dude is so funny and as light hearted as he is. He is speaking and spitting the truth!!
@@fairoadiary yes there is a balanced temperature that should be kept between you two. If it’s slow and cold that is as bad as fast and hot. You should feel warm safe and secure!! I like the temperature example. 😉🤭🥰
1 pace them, slow them down no rushing 2 not like them, let them work for your affection 3 respect ur boundaries and fear of losing you 4 treat them like a dog Moral if story..date multiple men and never ever settle down...got it
A. If you go "slow", u don't like them, n nothing will ever happen, i have wasted mens time, lead them on, like ten yrs, nothing happened. B. If I don't like him, he comes near me, im calling the cops n putting a restraining order on him, or threaten to murk him C. I don't play emotional games, im either like him or I don't. D. If I treat him like a dog, then I will never have a relationship with him, i am not into bestiality, i don't have relationship with people i think r beneath me, its a waste of both of our times.
When I get excited about my dog and tell her what a good girl she is, in an excited tone, sometimes she starts crying and howling back. It's so sweet and cute. I guess it's easy to transfer this to guys too.
@Comments-x4jhe has a video where he talks about how all men are think the same. Doesn’t matter their race ethnicity , whatever part of the world they are from, men all think the same.
I can't stand it when they say "I can tell you're upset Tell me what you're upset about"....I say no you're not going to like what I have to say....they insist, I tell them what's wrong, then of course they don't like what I had to say. For example, my issue was I feel like I'm doing most of the driving, putting out most of the effort, and bending over backwards to keep this relationship going. It's a no-win conversation.
Lol.. I think that's only true for emotionally immature guys, which, granted,make up the majority porbably. But I think w the right guy you don't need to play games. Still ofc take your time and have self respect and all that though
WHAT'S FROM KENTUCKY THIS IS REALLY RIDICULOUS WHEN I MET MY HUSBAND THERE WAS NO GAME PLAYING I DIDN'T HAVE TO ACT A CERTAIN WAY OR BE A CERTAIN WAY REALLY OR ANYTHING AND NEITHER DID HE I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS SO COMPLICATED I THINK PEOPLE ARE CRAZY NOWADAYS AND VERY TOXIC AND NARCISSISTIC AND THEY NEED TO GROW UP YOU KNOW AND AND STOP TAKING PEOPLE FOR GRANTED
@ Maybe psychology of some, but definitely not all. My husband and many others that I know knew what/who they wanted and pursued. No psychological games. So I don’t fully disagree, but know for a fact that that doesn’t apply to men who are grown and decisive.
It's amazing that in the past i experienced to fall in love with a guy who have the same feeling that we dont have too much theory or too much rules. We using a love letter to communicate, dating, walking to a park, talking about everything, had our first kiss under the moonlight After 3 year dating finally we get married. It's old fashion type of love that is really hard to find again after my husband (sadly passed away 11 years ago) 😢 Now love and relationship is sooo complicated, with so many rules, theory, mind games etc.. I wish i can turn back time when love is pure love
Bravo! I work with special needs children. (mostly autistic). Going over the top when they do something positive is absolutely key. When they remember to use capital letters at the beginning of a sentence, or remembering to cover their cough, we scream with estasy and reward them whether it is their favorite snack, or 10 minutes on youtube. The point is to reward positive behavior and try to ignore when they have a meltdown, or destroy your favorite book. {Dont feed into their fit, dont draw attention to. ) Our mission is called "Nurturing Heart". Now if I could attract a potential soulmate so I can practice on him...
All of these only work if he actually likes u. Most men in relationships dont like the women they're with and thats why why is so easy for them to not put any effort.
I've dated a few immature men who thought they could manipulate and lovebomb me...Little did they know i was with a Narcissist for 22 years 😂😂 So they didn't play anyone but themselves 💯🙄
After 2:12 I feel like something changed in my mind after what you said. I was lovebombed A LOT in my recent dating experience, literally proposings trip to Italy on 1st date as guys knew its my dream, then I would pace them to just meet on normal dinner date, but lovebombing still wouldnt stop and I would hear all those "I have never felt like this with anyone before, I think it can get into something very special" and all the "youre the most gorgeous girl" bullshit. Now yeah, you helped me to realize it was only because they wanted to get something out of me and I would accept such intense beginning 😭
Ok the tip around 21:00 is HUGE! Wow! I can absolutely see why "playing up" praise/excitement would be so powerful. Its more clear, but also more energizing, more interesting, makes him feel more special... its just so much more engaging, but a lot of women shut down too much....not goid to fake it either, but letting yourself put energy into it intentionally, wow!
Interesting how much of this ive heard from men ABOUT women. I hear so much from men that "women dont know what they want". Youre the first to say that about men in the dating field. A lot of wisdom and honesty here, thank you so much
but girls wants to have some fun too! If you like him and you both want to do it soon, why not? Every video out there is like made 2 centuries ago where women struggle to hook a husband... it's not like this
Flowers are nice, but I don’t want him to think that he hast to do these grand gestures for me to appreciate it. I seriously appreciate the little things like just being thoughtful and bringing me a cup of coffee without me asking or opening the door or holding my hand in public are posting me and one of our dates or something without asking Sometimes the things I appreciate the most of the ones that don’t cost much are very little money.
Great Video! Makes so much sense! And also validates my decision not worry about dating. Men are exhausting and draining SHEESH. i claim all my energy back to me and for me. No thank you men, im good and peaceful solo dolo
I love this information ❤. Tomisin is the big brother I never had. Learning how these men move and act from a man's perspective is GOLD. Thank you and I am glued to your channel 🙌🏾
This video should truly be about understanding the mind of a man more because a lot of time as women we will want a man to do react and say things the way we would do with each other or with ourselves. And we are not them and they are not us.
We all get tested. I’ve had good looking guys in my DM’s and things like that but how do you react when your partner is not around says everything about how much you respect them and yourself in the relationship.
Sounds like if it works for immature man who are searching for a mother. Sorry, it's interesting but playing games and behaviing towards a man like a woman I am not only to get a partner is not my goal in this life. I believe my future soulmate will be an emotional grown person and ancient soul.
Risking to loose us by cheating : I don’t agree: for most men they find it much more exciting when it’s forbidden to see another girl and when there’s a risk: it’s like a challenge to keep it secret
Then it's better to give them reassurance, like: "If you lose feelings for me or sleep with somebody else, just tell me. I don't want you to cheat, but I also would really appreciate if you just tell me when something like this will come up"?
If a man decides not to cheat because he "doesn't wanna risk losing his partner" he's already trash. He should decide not to cheat because he actually values his partner and would never forgive himself for degrading her like that, even if she never found out. If you gotta play mind games and tricks to keep him from cheating you will never have a trusting relationship. Expect him to respect you.
Am I the only one who ends up laughing so hard the way he says things… such perfect wisdom- yet his WAY is hilarious?! Omgosh I’m binge watching! Thanks young man!!
You are a genius. I wish I found your videos few years ago before my last ex (avoidant) who suddenly discarded me while I was waiting for my biopsy results. It damaged me emotionally. Never again any love bombing. Is it possible to be coached by you?
I soooo appreciate when you give examples. I realized I don't even know how to date 😬 I met my husband when I was 17 and he was the only real relationship I had until we divorced
Ok so question? What would be the kind of reaction to give when a man brings u gifts or flowers to get out of the dog house ! So they feel guilty for something they shouldn't have done?
This 24 minutes just reiterates the exact reasons why I'm not a dog person. To much dang ridiculousness. It's not a woman's place to baby you and raise you!
LOL there was an entire comment post on Facebook talking about this lady who said that men should be treated like dogs and every single man in the comments agreed with her and the moment that I was like men really want to be treated like dogs? men literally tried to fight me in the comments like they literally want to be treated like dogs it's crazy. 😂
I was wondering if you have any advice on a man dating a woman who is disabled? I am a woman who is legally blind at 32, I use a visual cane and adaptive devices/can't ever drive, and was wondering if that is off-putting to men? I just want honesty because I worry about being a partner when I can't drive. It seems small but our whole society is built on getting from place to place and I worry a man might think it burdensome to be forever taking on this role for me. Add to the fact everything I do at home is different, with assistive devices to help me cook, and magnifiers to do everything else. I want to be in a relationship but worry that for the man I end up with, the burden of dealing with all that will erode a budding relationship. I haven't seen you discuss this and wondered with all your other good advice if men cared or not about this stuff?
I'll tell you straight up that for most guys they probably do care. but there a whole group of men who really wouldn't mind\prefer it. So I just recommended not worrying about it too much and find a guy who either doesn't care or likes it.
He probably read about it in some cheap, "How to Pick up Girls" book when he was around 16. It's fun to be the recipient of love bombing until they try to use flattery instead of doing real things for you or to butter you up for unearned favors.
There are definitely men who will shower you with affection, attention & care during courtship - & NOT be a Narcissist. The way you can tell is how you feel whenever you are near him, or he takes you out. Keep a journal of your feelings if you are unsure. Do you feel confident being around him, is the relationship easy - & do you feel like you still have autonomy in your life. A Narcissist will put pressure on you to give up your independence quickly & he'll play victim when you say no. Bear in mind that not all Narcissists love bomb you. Some will aim to make you feel insecure with put downs disguised as neutral observations, then make you think they are 'rescuing you' from yourself. I am being courted by a younger guy from a different culture. He is genuinely kind & generous & not flashy. Every time we are together we are laughing our heads off. It is a blessing we don't speak the same language as we are not bogged down by long irrelevant conversations. We have to be aware of body language, intuition & the occassional translation app. Love & Joy are universally expressed no matter what culture you are from. It's also the classic case of being in such a good place in my life - really happy being single, when wham bam- love finds you. I am not being love bombed, yet this guy can't do enough for me.
About point 3. What I find very hard in an early stage of a relationship is to assert my boundaries in such way that I make sure he knows that doing x and y is not ok and never will be. I find that guys (I can’t even say Men because they all behave like kids…) manage to make us feel like we are too intense if we assert boundaries too early. For example, I dated that 32yo GUY who turned out to be the bros before h0es type. After wooing me for weeks and finally getting with me, he would spend more and more time with his mates during the few hours we could be together after work. We were living in the same hostel. He had all day to spend the day with them but he would choose to spend his evenings with them too. So I said there was no way because I had to spend time with him too. And I was the intense crazy gf because I wouldn’t let him be with his mates!?? Instead of accepting my boundaries he would just do whatever he wanted and reappear whenever he wanted. And that was after he devoted weeks pursuing me..
I’m waiting for marriage and I always felt like I make guys misunderstand me when they assume I want to get to know them more assuming they had the wrong intentions of me when they ask to me to stay at their place alone I thought they’d be horrible person to do that but how in the world would they know I’m waiting for marriage which I can’t blame them I guess. I’m also always nervous to let guys know I’m waiting for marriage which can potentially make them not interested in me I feel like there isn’t much women left in the world like me but it’s not stopping me from still waiting.
Tomisin, can you do a video on how to vet a man? We mothers are so scared of predators. Can you also advise us on whether should we even start dating while having small chidren? Please, help us❤️
Do not mention your kids until a few months. You vet people better when they don't know. If they know from the get go you have kids, they will try to get close for the very reason you're afraid of. Don't let them stay over at your place until a year together. As a general rule for myself, even as a childless person, I don't do the dirty in my own bed, as well as never without someone knowing where I've gone. And I don't get intimate until I've spent more than 48 hours collectively with them. If I had kids, it would be double the restrictions: more than one person must know my location, and 96 hours collectively. Because you're responsible for more than one person, more than one person must know you're safe.
Hi Tomisin, I have a quick question. Do you agree that this strategy works only when the woman is absolutely gorgeous and the guy is less attractive? I’m sorry to say that but in my experience with dating successful and very attractive men this would never work. They don’t comply or chase because women throw themselves at them and they don’t have enough motivation to work so hard for a woman that’s hard to get. Especially when they are focused on their success more than on relationships. I do agree guys will work for you but that’s only when they know they can’t get better than you or equal to you and you’re the best thing that happened to them. This will never work if the man is equally attractive or if the woman is average looking, which is most women. This “prize” concept works only for the women who hit the gene lottery, and that’s a small percentage of the population. Unless you go for a really unattractive guy, which we don’t want anyway.
Attraction is different for everyone. Google celebrity wives/bm's . People like who they like. The key is not playing yourself out of position and realizing when he doesn't like you as soon as possible. If you are inherently less attractive you just have to know your lane! As a woman you shouldn't be choosing the men you date mostly on attraction anyway.
Your approach is VERY interesting. I have only dated millennials (attractive and average) but all of them very successful, at the top of their professions. and I have learned that they can't stand anything. No techniques, no dramas, no annoyances, no women who are difficult to conquer. They don't have time nor do they want to make the effort, and the women they stay with are not even the prettiest, no no, they are the ones they see as equals and are hardworking, and with whom they generated a deep emotional connection. In my opinion, beauty in our generation (after 85) has lost a lot of value, it is different if you ask for those born before 85, where they do go out and if they are good at pursuing a woman. Beauty is also important for men who are millennials (I insist, genes play an important role) and very insecure, because having a beautiful woman will earn them the respect of their peers, which they are dying to have.
I don’t agree: in fact the fabrication of desire for men is to chase a price otherwise they won’t gave any desire so they won’t chase you, especially if he has easy girls he is not used to have a woman hard to get ! So he will take that as a challenge and his desire will grow ! Also I think it’s not only a physical issue because the porn actresses are very gorgeous but so easy to have that they won’t have any desire or maybe just for one night but that’s it
@@tamz-b1h I am equally attractive to the men I’ve dated. So we’re both attractive about the same, like you said beauty is a subjective thing. The men I’ve been with would literally stare at me like they are head over heels, however, if they sensed that I didn’t reciprocate communication or excitement, they would immediately pull back and wait for me to reach out, and if didn’t, then that’s fine because just around the corner there’s a beautiful lady that’s gonna be excited to go out with them. It’s just a lot of options out there for successful men who are attractive. Let’s not forget their ego is huge. They will NOT chase. I promise you that. My last relationship the man loved me so much, but if I pulled back he’d not chase. I always had to be the one to reach out and make it right. Also let’s not forget a significant portion of these single successful men are dismissive avoidant. That’s a whole other issue. They would never chase period.
I need advise. i met this guy for the first date he wants to take me to a bar after his work. i’m feeling it’s not ideal first date. so i said no. did i do something wrong?
I've been enjoying your videos. Any ones particular that you recommend for a relationship with a long history and now the relationship is starting up again?
Tomisin, thank you for all the great points. I was wondering if you could make a video on how to get a man you are about to divorce to be fair and co-operative during the process when a toddler is involved
I disagree with this. This does not apply to ALL men. I met a wonderful Egyptian man and he was direct. He pursued and I acknowledged. If you want to date a man child…go for it.
That man wasn’t American. He came from a traditional society and he is masculine, very masculine. That’s how it should be: simple. It’s hard to find that in the United States. My friend moved back to her native Argentina after living in the United States for decades. She said in Argentina, a woman can’t walk down the street without men admiring her. Here it would be called harassment nowadays. Construction workers don’t even cat call anymore.
Why so much games??? Oh its the new way of loving now hm... I'll pass on this. Im sticking to the old tradition love with no fears ❤ dont think anything.
Omg, triste is subliminal!!! Somebody can tell me if all this is right??? Some one With experienci , actually the 3rd part!!! Im out of my mind right now! Cuz all this had so much logic for me, but nobody Knows it...
I have decided to walk out of my 6 year marriage (11 years relationship) it’s so sad to find out that I have been living with a liar, gaslighter and a cheat( sexual texting with one of his female friends) , verbal abuse and I have been paying 50% . Now I want to move out and live my life ( I have a successful career and business .) and he shameless told me that I have to stay and help him pay off the mortgage and I am selfish for not thinking of the kids. I have checked out and better off without him . Never ever will I help build a man .and now he is not only broke but ugly too. Thank you for sharing this is helping me be my authentic self.
Good luck girl,better late than never.Give yourself the healing you deserve,if he can't take care of the kids.Take custody and create a beautiful family without him.Men
we women create broken homes,but that is just not true.Most times,they cheat and lie and expect you to stay by thier side.As a divorced mother of 4,I never wanted my kids growing up without seeing their Dad 24/7.But life is what it is.Good luck.
Be careful, leave when he’s not home. An insecure man is a dangerous man.
Good!! You pay 50% and he tells you you need to stay to help him? Absolutely not he’s a bum, bye
It's said that at least after 40 the true character and soul of a person shows in their looks.. I can imagine he's ugly 🤭🤷 Every human who eats meat dead animals aka victim energy aka energy of betrayal and abuse is inhumane animals do not consent to being food to humans they don't have sacred contract with humanity to be eaten otherwise humans would have enzyme uricase to detox uric acid and it is inhumane and ugly and abusive what humans do to them humans who should actually be humane and masculine and protector and feminine and caring and have dominion over animal kingdom and will turn ugly if doing ugly things, same as eating too much cooked food makes humans unconscious; in opposite to fresh, ripe fruit, soaked nuts, fermented food like kimchi or tempeh, sprouts like alfalfa and sprouted seeds or germented seeds like sunflower seeds containing much biophotons and life and are conscious and not causing anyone to die; cooked food leads to becoming unconscious and all sickness and shadow lies in unconsciousness. You are what you eat and what you consume and the 5 people you surround yourself with the most. Wish you well and much love, Spiru lina aka Iamotra33 aka Annemarie
Oh my word girl - it's the 'paying 50%' on top of all that that was the final straw in your comment! A female roommate would be better imo
You’re a gods gift to women honestly. We women are wired to love simply with no games and we think men are the same. Thank you thank you!
It's not games. Men just think and function different than women.
@ yes they like games and we don’t. Please don’t reply if you’re not an intelligent person
@ yes exactly men are wired differ to like games… please bother someone else
@@ioanad9653 my reply was ro rhe person that said that "it's so sad, we have to play games, why can't people just be mature" in the comments. Idk why it appeared under yours.
Feminine energy naturally wants to be proven too…women forgot their power and true nature, it use to align with the actions of men, men are still the same…women changed and expect very little
Girls!! We need to normalise taking it as slow as possible.
It’s not that fun when you are stuck with children from someone you can’t tolerate to look at!! 🙄
This dude is so funny and as light hearted as he is. He is speaking and spitting the truth!!
Say it louder for the ones in the back!
@@PaolaGarcia-ty3sz wow. So happy that +100 have agreed.
You only have one life to live. So choose your own best self interest.
slow as possible and then it ends up being a waste of time
@@fairoadiary yes there is a balanced temperature that should be kept between you two.
If it’s slow and cold that is as bad as fast and hot. You should feel warm safe and secure!!
I like the temperature example. 😉🤭🥰
I’m am so glad to finally hear these truths being told! Hope young woman are listening and doing this advice!!!!!!👏👏👏👏👏👏
1 pace them, slow them down no rushing
2 not like them, let them work for your affection
3 respect ur boundaries and fear of losing you
4 treat them like a dog
Moral if story..date multiple men and never ever settle down...got it
😂😂
😂
Yooo 😂😂 best comment 😂😂
Date a... dog?!😮
😂
A. If you go "slow", u don't like them, n nothing will ever happen, i have wasted mens time, lead them on, like ten yrs, nothing happened.
B. If I don't like him, he comes near me, im calling the cops n putting a restraining order on him, or threaten to murk him
C. I don't play emotional games, im either like him or I don't.
D. If I treat him like a dog, then I will never have a relationship with him, i am not into bestiality, i don't have relationship with people i think r beneath me, its a waste of both of our times.
When I get excited about my dog and tell her what a good girl she is, in an excited tone, sometimes she starts crying and howling back. It's so sweet and cute. I guess it's easy to transfer this to guys too.
Awwww ❤
Haha 😂
😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂 THANK YOUU, I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS 😂😂😂
I happened to read this comment while he was referencing the puppy and I died
1. pace them 0:37
2. not like them 6:07
3. fear 11:50
4. treat them like a dog 18:51
thank you:)
@Comments-x4jhe has a video where he talks about how all men are think the same. Doesn’t matter their race ethnicity , whatever part of the world they are from, men all think the same.
I can't stand it when they say "I can tell you're upset Tell me what you're upset about"....I say no you're not going to like what I have to say....they insist, I tell them what's wrong, then of course they don't like what I had to say. For example, my issue was I feel like I'm doing most of the driving, putting out most of the effort, and bending over backwards to keep this relationship going. It's a no-win conversation.
Thankx , I'll get started right away.. 😏
Lol.. I think that's only true for emotionally immature guys, which, granted,make up the majority porbably. But I think w the right guy you don't need to play games. Still ofc take your time and have self respect and all that though
This is so sad. So in order to date successfully, you have to play juvenile games. I really wish that people could be more mature.
WHAT'S FROM KENTUCKY THIS IS REALLY RIDICULOUS WHEN I MET MY HUSBAND THERE WAS NO GAME PLAYING I DIDN'T HAVE TO ACT A CERTAIN WAY OR BE A CERTAIN WAY REALLY OR ANYTHING AND NEITHER DID HE I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS SO COMPLICATED I THINK PEOPLE ARE CRAZY NOWADAYS AND VERY TOXIC AND NARCISSISTIC AND THEY NEED TO GROW UP YOU KNOW AND AND STOP TAKING PEOPLE FOR GRANTED
it's not about maturity, it's about psychology and how the brain of a man works.
@ Maybe psychology of some, but definitely not all. My husband and many others that I know knew what/who they wanted and pursued. No psychological games. So I don’t fully disagree, but know for a fact that that doesn’t apply to men who are grown and decisive.
@@gottahavefaith2526 It sounds like you're older and aren't dating now a days so I can definitely understand why you don't agree!
@ I’m 33 and was married at 26. I guess that 33 is old then.
Honestly I don’t really listen to what they say they want anymore lol it’s proved to be pointless in my opinion
Exactly
It’s not what they but how they behave/act
They don't know their own feelings most of the time because they were emotionally castrated in childhood. That's why they need us to take the lead.
It's amazing that in the past i experienced to fall in love with a guy who have the same feeling that we dont have too much theory or too much rules. We using a love letter to communicate, dating, walking to a park, talking about everything, had our first kiss under the moonlight
After 3 year dating finally we get married.
It's old fashion type of love that is really hard to find again after my husband (sadly passed away 11 years ago) 😢
Now love and relationship is sooo complicated, with so many rules, theory, mind games etc..
I wish i can turn back time when love is pure love
I've experienced that, too and like you, I'm sad it doesn't exist anymore.
This is the best comment. No games. Just two people getting to know each other and enjoy each other. Two people content and happy to be together.
You and me both sister ❤
Bravo! I work with special needs children. (mostly autistic). Going over the top when they do something positive is absolutely key. When they remember to use capital letters at the beginning of a sentence, or remembering to cover their cough, we scream with estasy and reward them whether it is their favorite snack, or 10 minutes on youtube. The point is to reward positive behavior and try to ignore when they have a meltdown, or destroy your favorite book. {Dont feed into their fit, dont draw attention to. ) Our mission is called "Nurturing Heart". Now if I could attract a potential soulmate so I can practice on him...
All of these only work if he actually likes u. Most men in relationships dont like the women they're with and thats why why is so easy for them to not put any effort.
Well then, they're probably narcissists. Of course, they need to like and want to respect you.
If he doesnt its better they walked away when you just stated that you cant be walked over.
This is why you walk away and only deal with the ones who are actually into you.
If he doesn't like you then he's not worth keeping.
I've dated a few immature men who thought they could manipulate and lovebomb me...Little did they know i was with a Narcissist for 22 years 😂😂 So they didn't play anyone but themselves 💯🙄
Men and audacity. 🤝
How do you invite a stranger into your home, ain’t you afraid?
After 2:12 I feel like something changed in my mind after what you said. I was lovebombed A LOT in my recent dating experience, literally proposings trip to Italy on 1st date as guys knew its my dream, then I would pace them to just meet on normal dinner date, but lovebombing still wouldnt stop and I would hear all those "I have never felt like this with anyone before, I think it can get into something very special" and all the "youre the most gorgeous girl" bullshit. Now yeah, you helped me to realize it was only because they wanted to get something out of me and I would accept such intense beginning 😭
Isn't that obvious though.
Ok the tip around 21:00 is HUGE! Wow! I can absolutely see why "playing up" praise/excitement would be so powerful. Its more clear, but also more energizing, more interesting, makes him feel more special... its just so much more engaging, but a lot of women shut down too much....not goid to fake it either, but letting yourself put energy into it intentionally, wow!
Seeing this I‘m dumping him. He never asks me out on dates. I always do it and plan it
Interesting how much of this ive heard from men ABOUT women. I hear so much from men that "women dont know what they want". Youre the first to say that about men in the dating field. A lot of wisdom and honesty here, thank you so much
This is why i'm single 😅 👍 i did opposite whole time
Now you know what not to do 😊
but girls wants to have some fun too! If you like him and you both want to do it soon, why not? Every video out there is like made 2 centuries ago where women struggle to hook a husband... it's not like this
Same 😂
Those silly games are tiring
Exactly 😂
Flowers are nice, but I don’t want him to think that he hast to do these grand gestures for me to appreciate it. I seriously appreciate the little things like just being thoughtful and bringing me a cup of coffee without me asking or opening the door or holding my hand in public are posting me and one of our dates or something without asking Sometimes the things I appreciate the most of the ones that don’t cost much are very little money.
Great Video! Makes so much sense! And also validates my decision not worry about dating. Men are exhausting and draining SHEESH. i claim all my energy back to me and for me. No thank you men, im good and peaceful solo dolo
Attending this is class is so funny😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂everything makes sense now
Ah..reward system. Being the prize. Finally got it.
I love this information ❤. Tomisin is the big brother I never had. Learning how these men move and act from a man's perspective is GOLD. Thank you and I am glued to your channel 🙌🏾
This video should truly be about understanding the mind of a man more because a lot of time as women we will want a man to do react and say things the way we would do with each other or with ourselves. And we are not them and they are not us.
We all get tested. I’ve had good looking guys in my DM’s and things like that but how do you react when your partner is not around says everything about how much you respect them and yourself in the relationship.
Treat em mean, keep him keen.
I hate & I love this information 😅
Sounds like if it works for immature man who are searching for a mother. Sorry, it's interesting but playing games and behaviing towards a man like a woman I am not only to get a partner is not my goal in this life. I believe my future soulmate will be an emotional grown person and ancient soul.
Finally someone that gets it!
Please do one on how to know if your in a situationship/the place holder.
True, I agree. Having being in a situation in the past, it is very important.
Good suggestion!!
If you're wondering about the relationship, he's NOT your man. He's community property.
Walk away! You don’t need him 💜
I love how you break things down Tomison. Thank you 🙏🏽.
Risking to loose us by cheating : I don’t agree: for most men they find it much more exciting when it’s forbidden to see another girl and when there’s a risk: it’s like a challenge to keep it secret
Then it's better to give them reassurance, like: "If you lose feelings for me or sleep with somebody else, just tell me. I don't want you to cheat, but I also would really appreciate if you just tell me when something like this will come up"?
@ no you give reassurance to yourself and you shouldn’t be afraid about cheating because you know your value
If a man decides not to cheat because he "doesn't wanna risk losing his partner" he's already trash. He should decide not to cheat because he actually values his partner and would never forgive himself for degrading her like that, even if she never found out.
If you gotta play mind games and tricks to keep him from cheating you will never have a trusting relationship. Expect him to respect you.
Why are u even dealing with dudes like that? Ignore, on to the next one. Who got time for that
No that makes no sense it's not a thrill if you leave or disappear if I cheat and come home and all your stuff is gone then it's done
Tomi , this is your best video soo far , it's screaming Wisdom
10:27 that sounds like someone you shouldn’t be dating anyways.
That selfish thinking is gonna come bite you in some way later on in the relationship.
Dude, you’re a genius and generous with this knowledge ❤
Am I the only one who ends up laughing so hard the way he says things… such perfect wisdom- yet his WAY is hilarious?! Omgosh I’m binge watching!
Thanks young man!!
PLEASE add chapters to you videos like this one 😩😩😩 It’s WAY better!!!
You give excellent advice,
Very well explained 🤓
You are a genius. I wish I found your videos few years ago before my last ex (avoidant) who suddenly discarded me while I was waiting for my biopsy results. It damaged me emotionally. Never again any love bombing. Is it possible to be coached by you?
Tulips are MY FAVORITE! 😃
Mine too 🌷 🌷
You’re a great man , Thank You for this content ♥️!
❤I loved this video, straight to the point, which I love 💕
I soooo appreciate when you give examples. I realized I don't even know how to date 😬 I met my husband when I was 17 and he was the only real relationship I had until we divorced
Also, women being smarter than men/maturing faster, affects relationships a lot.
Men would mature faster if they were held to the same standard
so I have to train him like a dog🧍🏽♀️ yea no
ahahah I love how you explain it with these examples, especially the flower one
Fantastic discussion
Excellent analysis
Thank you Sir
"Whoever created us?" JEHOVAH!
EXODUS 3:15 (KJDNV)
Yeah. Let's toss biology and evolution out the window. 🙄
Whoever created us is wiiild
God did❤
@@CutiePatootie-iu9xj exactly
Riiiight 🤣🤣 But seriously I think we are so far from our natural way of living & that's why we're so messed up. Well adapt eventually.
Still wild ❤😂@@CutiePatootie-iu9xj
🤪 😂😂
great video! muchas gracias for your advice
Can you make a video about couples in finance? Married and dating
How about if I don’t care what they want😂
😂😂
Love this ❤❤
This topic made me subscribe cuz this is on a all time high
And what if I’ve already made all the wrong choices ha ha ha cause I have. How do I change the projectory?
Trust is everything!
I wish I understood this 5 years ago 😭😭😭…
Only listen to this advice if you want to date a childish man that doesn’t have respect for himself or others
3:43 can you make these sentences into an affirmations track?! 😅I need to loop this! Lol.
Pls make a video on long distance relationship 😢
Great recommendations.
I loveeeee your videos! You are a life savor.
This is one of the best shows yet!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤
After watching this video, they really need to make boy robots for women.
Ok so question? What would be the kind of reaction to give when a man brings u gifts or flowers to get out of the dog house ! So they feel guilty for something they shouldn't have done?
Great information even though it makes you feel like men like games and need to be treated like a pet🤦🏾♀️
Can you do a video about long distant relationships?
This 24 minutes just reiterates the exact reasons why I'm not a dog person. To much dang ridiculousness. It's not a woman's place to baby you and raise you!
wish I found your channel a long time ago 😭
You make sense, you make a lot of sense. 🤔🇿🇦
I’m listening
Great Video👏👏👏👏👏👏
Has he posted a video about how to be a liar about "not liking" them? Like, why would I waste my time at all on some dude I didn't actually like?
LOL there was an entire comment post on Facebook talking about this lady who said that men should be treated like dogs and every single man in the comments agreed with her and the moment that I was like men really want to be treated like dogs? men literally tried to fight me in the comments like they literally want to be treated like dogs it's crazy. 😂
I was wondering if you have any advice on a man dating a woman who is disabled? I am a woman who is legally blind at 32, I use a visual cane and adaptive devices/can't ever drive, and was wondering if that is off-putting to men? I just want honesty because I worry about being a partner when I can't drive. It seems small but our whole society is built on getting from place to place and I worry a man might think it burdensome to be forever taking on this role for me. Add to the fact everything I do at home is different, with assistive devices to help me cook, and magnifiers to do everything else. I want to be in a relationship but worry that for the man I end up with, the burden of dealing with all that will erode a budding relationship. I haven't seen you discuss this and wondered with all your other good advice if men cared or not about this stuff?
I'll tell you straight up that for most guys they probably do care. but there a whole group of men who really wouldn't mind\prefer it. So I just recommended not worrying about it too much and find a guy who either doesn't care or likes it.
@@Manifesto-r3v thanks for you honest answer.
@@GamerofOld no worries I'm glad I could help. Wish best of luck on your dating life!
@@Manifesto-r3v Thanks I'm gonna need it lol 🤣
@@GamerofOld awwww nah you got it. Like my ass isn't doing good so probably doing better than me yk
This is so helpful.
Is lovebombing always bad? When guy does that, is that how he is by nature or just likes one specific girl that much?
He wants sex
It's always bad
He probably read about it in some cheap, "How to Pick up Girls" book when he was around 16. It's fun to be the recipient of love bombing until they try to use flattery instead of doing real things for you or to butter you up for unearned favors.
There are definitely men who will shower you with affection, attention & care during courtship - & NOT be a Narcissist. The way you can tell is how you feel whenever you are near him, or he takes you out. Keep a journal of your feelings if you are unsure. Do you feel confident being around him, is the relationship easy - & do you feel like you still have autonomy in your life. A Narcissist will put pressure on you to give up your independence quickly & he'll play victim when you say no.
Bear in mind that not all Narcissists love bomb you. Some will aim to make you feel insecure with put downs disguised as neutral observations, then make you think they are 'rescuing you' from yourself.
I am being courted by a younger guy from a different culture. He is genuinely kind & generous & not flashy. Every time we are together we are laughing our heads off. It is a blessing we don't speak the same language as we are not bogged down by long irrelevant conversations. We have to be aware of body language, intuition & the occassional translation app. Love & Joy are universally expressed no matter what culture you are from.
It's also the classic case of being in such a good place in my life - really happy being single, when wham bam- love finds you. I am not being love bombed, yet this guy can't do enough for me.
About point 3. What I find very hard in an early stage of a relationship is to assert my boundaries in such way that I make sure he knows that doing x and y is not ok and never will be. I find that guys (I can’t even say Men because they all behave like kids…) manage to make us feel like we are too intense if we assert boundaries too early. For example, I dated that 32yo GUY who turned out to be the bros before h0es type. After wooing me for weeks and finally getting with me, he would spend more and more time with his mates during the few hours we could be together after work. We were living in the same hostel. He had all day to spend the day with them but he would choose to spend his evenings with them too. So I said there was no way because I had to spend time with him too. And I was the intense crazy gf because I wouldn’t let him be with his mates!?? Instead of accepting my boundaries he would just do whatever he wanted and reappear whenever he wanted. And that was after he devoted weeks pursuing me..
He sure put a lot of effort into putting out no effort. He sounds like he needed to get a job.
I’m waiting for marriage and I always felt like I make guys misunderstand me when they assume I want to get to know them more assuming they had the wrong intentions of me when they ask to me to stay at their place alone I thought they’d be horrible person to do that but how in the world would they know I’m waiting for marriage which I can’t blame them I guess. I’m also always nervous to let guys know I’m waiting for marriage which can potentially make them not interested in me I feel like there isn’t much women left in the world like me but it’s not stopping me from still waiting.
What if I already jumped in really fast?
Tomisin, can you do a video on how to vet a man? We mothers are so scared of predators. Can you also advise us on whether should we even start dating while having small chidren? Please, help us❤️
Do not mention your kids until a few months. You vet people better when they don't know. If they know from the get go you have kids, they will try to get close for the very reason you're afraid of. Don't let them stay over at your place until a year together.
As a general rule for myself, even as a childless person, I don't do the dirty in my own bed, as well as never without someone knowing where I've gone. And I don't get intimate until I've spent more than 48 hours collectively with them. If I had kids, it would be double the restrictions: more than one person must know my location, and 96 hours collectively. Because you're responsible for more than one person, more than one person must know you're safe.
I love already knowing this stuff... confirmation is bliss
When I didn't know these things all the toxic guys latched on like pitbulls...UGH
Hi Tomisin, I have a quick question. Do you agree that this strategy works only when the woman is absolutely gorgeous and the guy is less attractive? I’m sorry to say that but in my experience with dating successful and very attractive men this would never work. They don’t comply or chase because women throw themselves at them and they don’t have enough motivation to work so hard for a woman that’s hard to get. Especially when they are focused on their success more than on relationships. I do agree guys will work for you but that’s only when they know they can’t get better than you or equal to you and you’re the best thing that happened to them. This will never work if the man is equally attractive or if the woman is average looking, which is most women. This “prize” concept works only for the women who hit the gene lottery, and that’s a small percentage of the population. Unless you go for a really unattractive guy, which we don’t want anyway.
Attraction is different for everyone. Google celebrity wives/bm's . People like who they like. The key is not playing yourself out of position and realizing when he doesn't like you as soon as possible.
If you are inherently less attractive you just have to know your lane! As a woman you shouldn't be choosing the men you date mostly on attraction anyway.
Your approach is VERY interesting. I have only dated millennials (attractive and average) but all of them very successful, at the top of their professions. and I have learned that they can't stand anything. No techniques, no dramas, no annoyances, no women who are difficult to conquer. They don't have time nor do they want to make the effort, and the women they stay with are not even the prettiest, no no, they are the ones they see as equals and are hardworking, and with whom they generated a deep emotional connection. In my opinion, beauty in our generation (after 85) has lost a lot of value, it is different if you ask for those born before 85, where they do go out and if they are good at pursuing a woman. Beauty is also important for men who are millennials (I insist, genes play an important role) and very insecure, because having a beautiful woman will earn them the respect of their peers, which they are dying to have.
I don’t agree: in fact the fabrication of desire for men is to chase a price otherwise they won’t gave any desire so they won’t chase you, especially if he has easy girls he is not used to have a woman hard to get ! So he will take that as a challenge and his desire will grow ! Also I think it’s not only a physical issue because the porn actresses are very gorgeous but so easy to have that they won’t have any desire or maybe just for one night but that’s it
@@tamz-b1h I am equally attractive to the men I’ve dated. So we’re both attractive about the same, like you said beauty is a subjective thing. The men I’ve been with would literally stare at me like they are head over heels, however, if they sensed that I didn’t reciprocate communication or excitement, they would immediately pull back and wait for me to reach out, and if didn’t, then that’s fine because just around the corner there’s a beautiful lady that’s gonna be excited to go out with them. It’s just a lot of options out there for successful men who are attractive. Let’s not forget their ego is huge. They will NOT chase. I promise you that. My last relationship the man loved me so much, but if I pulled back he’d not chase. I always had to be the one to reach out and make it right. Also let’s not forget a significant portion of these single successful men are dismissive avoidant. That’s a whole other issue. They would never chase period.
They aren't the target. And why would a woman go for a very attractive man?
I'm a year into a relationship. I want to make sure he doesn't get complacent or used to me. How can I make him work for me even in a relationship??
I need advise. i met this guy for the first date he wants to take me to a bar after his work. i’m feeling it’s not ideal first date. so i said no. did i do something wrong?
Screw the flowers, give me Bitcoin
What if I'm on the spectrum and i can't display exaggerated emotions? What do i do?
I've been enjoying your videos. Any ones particular that you recommend for a relationship with a long history and now the relationship is starting up again?
Tomisin, thank you for all the great points. I was wondering if you could make a video on how to get a man you are about to divorce to be fair and co-operative during the process when a toddler is involved
Don't care anymore.
This is too fn complicated
Just don’t have sex until you know them very well and they have asked you to be exclusive.
I disagree with this. This does not apply to ALL men. I met a wonderful Egyptian man and he was direct. He pursued and I acknowledged. If you want to date a man child…go for it.
That man wasn’t American. He came from a traditional society and he is masculine, very masculine. That’s how it should be: simple. It’s hard to find that in the United States. My friend moved back to her native Argentina after living in the United States for decades. She said in Argentina, a woman can’t walk down the street without men admiring her. Here it would be called harassment nowadays. Construction workers don’t even cat call anymore.
I would love to talk to this man one on one..
This is so sad. I don’t want to have to play this cat and mouse sht. If I don’t like who I’m with, I’m surely going to hate him down the line too.
Apparently my just now ex boyfriend didn’t fear me.
This sounds like trying to date a child..not a man. Not all men are children. There are some mature ones out there.
Why so much games??? Oh its the new way of loving now hm... I'll pass on this. Im sticking to the old tradition love with no fears ❤ dont think anything.
That’s an old age excuse , if man really loved working hard for something they would all be successful and have money for lobster 😂
Finally 1st on these videos
Omg, triste is subliminal!!!
Somebody can tell me if all this is right??? Some one With experienci , actually the 3rd part!!! Im out of my mind right now!
Cuz all this had so much logic for me, but nobody Knows it...