How To Deal With A Toxic Boss

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 88

  • @myemmotion
    @myemmotion  3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    What has been YOUR experience in dealing with a toxic boss? If you want further videos on Dealing With a Toxic Manager and a Toxic Work Environment, check this playlist out: th-cam.com/video/VKi4W90CmSw/w-d-xo.html

    • @MarcosRodriguez-es4gz
      @MarcosRodriguez-es4gz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Your first video was such an eye opener I kept following you ever since

    • @Obliv69
      @Obliv69 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      the only thing i can advise is to document everything. create a file on your personal phone and add info to it so its always on you and readily available but NEVER do this on your work computer or on paper where it can be found.
      dates, times, who was there. what was said. writing it all into a word file on your phone gets it out of your mind so you can move on with other things but its always availabel for when its needed at short notice.

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Obliv69 Great advice!

    • @lemaxx2638
      @lemaxx2638 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Great video Marat !!

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@lemaxx2638 Thank you so much for your kind feedback!

  • @michellehanes8136
    @michellehanes8136 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    He's so right about not reacting. Reacting makes them seem correct about you. Staying calm does give you power over them for sure. Its really the best tool.

  • @tartman540
    @tartman540 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I got fired from my job by a bad manager. I had been waiting for it. She was toxic and presented all the red flags of a bad boss. I didn't know these red flags until I began to find information on this topic. Thank you for all you do! You are a blessing to many! ❤️❤️❤️

    • @monicasweer7253
      @monicasweer7253 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I hope you are doing better now.

  • @MarcosRodriguez-es4gz
    @MarcosRodriguez-es4gz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    You are one of the first youtubers who shed light into this area that concerns many people

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thanks so much! I really appreciate it!

  • @emmsummer7811
    @emmsummer7811 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    No wonder that entrepreneurship is on its all time high seeing how bosses treat their employees.

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      The way that people approach their professional lives keep changing and bad management contributes into that for sure!

  • @thenovicewhispers
    @thenovicewhispers ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Yeah I had a boss who only spoke to me to give me orders or to tell me when I was making a mistake. Never was happy to help when I asked, so I avoided asking unless I absolutely had no other choice. They excluded me from workplace conversations. Treated me like I didn't exist. Treated me like a machine to command. They never acknowledged the countless times I went above and beyond or came into work when they called me on my days off. Never once heard a thank you. I quit that job and told their boss exactly why. Felt happier as soon as I walked out.

  • @LadyJpraise2024unbound
    @LadyJpraise2024unbound 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This guy is good!!! Every video has be Johnny on the spot! Thanks for helping us with these videos. A PIP is basically a harassment tool in the hands of a toxic boss

  • @ThisisPam
    @ThisisPam 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    My principal constantly gaslights the school staff by talking about all the things she is doing to make the school and our lives better, when actually she is doing the exact opposite. It’s impossible to confront her because of her passive aggressive behaviour and the gaslighting which she uses to hold all accountability at bay.

    • @khiala9397
      @khiala9397 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      same. i already resigned (last day is tomorrow) but im noticing the schools aren't all that great unless you're bowing down to them and I'm not that kind of person. I stick up for what's right, not what looks good.

  • @mythic_snake
    @mythic_snake ปีที่แล้ว +7

    You suggest trying to meet all your deadlines in order to appease him. But what if he is using unreasonable deadlines as a way to bully you into working yourself until you are sick? The deadlines he wants requires us to work non-stop from waking until sleeping, sometimes only getting 3 hours of sleep. Then he yells and swears and threatens if you try to say that the deadline is simply not physically possible.

  • @carolmcloughlin2859
    @carolmcloughlin2859 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Always remember what goes around comes around karma catches up to everyone even the toxic boss.. everyone gets their day of justice. Thanks for sharing this ♥️ I've subscribed.

  • @colettec307
    @colettec307 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    That was some really good straight talk on this subject. Many other sources will tell you to a) talk to someone you 'trust' at the company; b) talk to the toxic boss about their behavior in an effort to 'fix' them; c) talk to HR; and d) talk to the toxic boss's boss. These avenues are all dead ends and usually have detrimental results. Thank you for speaking the truth.

    • @Pk-nv1qv
      @Pk-nv1qv 9 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Ahh so true.. I feel the same ..

  • @albertom7679
    @albertom7679 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I remember being obliged to have lunch with my terribly narcissistic and toxic supervisor, we all ate together and it was not my favourite moment of the day

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That must have been real hassle.

  • @GabrielsTears
    @GabrielsTears 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Hello Marat, I had to miss you live steam today but watched it later. You are so encouraging and I want to say thank you for your advice. A toxic boss is the worse and speaking up to them only makes things worse. Everything you say is so true. After listening to you I always so much better. Have a great week.

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I am so glad that you've been feeling better about the situation, it's absolutely pointless wasting time and energy trying to live up to their expectations or trying to confront them. Not helpful at all!
      You will gain control over your well being at work and over your career as well, I am convinced about that. Thank you for your kind words and feedback, always enjoy reading you!

    • @lemaxx2638
      @lemaxx2638 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same I felt much better

    • @sandramckee6314
      @sandramckee6314 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Wish I saw this one year ago. You are a great educator on this subject!

  • @JoanFreese
    @JoanFreese 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I wish I would’ve found this channel long ago- finally answers!

  • @sparkythims4362
    @sparkythims4362 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Marat… you are a blessing! 🙏🌸

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks so much Sparky, always enjoy seeing and reading you! And of course I appreciate your feedback a lot!

  • @ruby6264
    @ruby6264 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Staying calm is your superpower

  • @amysimmons805
    @amysimmons805 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This was such great information and advice I didn't get to say thanks in the chat. I appreciate your help Marat

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you so much Amy, love that you've kept joining me for the streams!

  • @texastea5686
    @texastea5686 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thank you for this. I work for Veterans Affairs, and we have a Union, but still... I can't go running to them every time she "hurts my feelings" I really can't stand my supervisor =(

  • @sarahmcswan
    @sarahmcswan ปีที่แล้ว +4

    After 25 years in the workforce and dealing with multiple bosses as well as "seniors" and "leads". What works best for myself anyway.....I figure since I can't do what I want like tell them exactly what they are doing and needs to stop. Or go take a flying leap. I basically "kill em with kindness". I take the high road and talk to them with respect and kindness. I even lay it on thicker when they are really acting in an immature and very unprofessional manner. It makes me feel better. Like I'm the better, smarter and more mature one between the two of us. I believe for the most part people know when they are being a punk and they notice when you let that shit roll off your back and you keep your cool and you act and treat them the way they should be treating you....they notice. I'm sure not all, but for a lot of people I think it makes them feel stupid. I know when I have been unkind of rude to someone in my life and they take the high road. I think about it when I'm out of the situation I feel bad about myself. Like why did I act like that?? I know not everyone thinks like that. But I also have noticed when I do that they don't pick on me as much or they may stop all together. Guess their not getting my feedback. And I will be damned if I quit my job over some punk manager. I love my job and the pay and benefits and job security
    I'm not giving all that up for some manager/coworkers whatever. But I understand how some environments can be too much to take. One thing is for sure, they will never change! They will never take lol as they call it constructive criticism or feedback like they will give to you all day long. They won't apologize or ever accept responsibility or take any accountability. They won't even acknowledge how they made you FEEL.

  • @samston
    @samston ปีที่แล้ว +2

    A toxic boss is a manager who discusses your business with the coworkers.

  • @123goodburger
    @123goodburger 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you for the great information!

  • @samston
    @samston ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Yes yes a toxic lying manager the worse you can do is get in a conversation or an argument with them because dont forget they got all the coworkers on their side and they will lie on you and its you among them. The manager will keep targeting you because she or he wants or love the power. The manager will also put the other staff or designate one person to be watching u.

  • @SarahRejsa-oi6bq
    @SarahRejsa-oi6bq ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hello. Your videos are so helpful . They are a life saver . Thank you for helping me.

  • @jarreljones9409
    @jarreljones9409 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Sometime you can't take there and take it you have to stick up for yourself No one is Going to do it for you We have to let them know That they're creating drama in their head out of to Ten air For no reason

  • @rickgraham8727
    @rickgraham8727 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love your insights! Thank you ❤

  • @Obliv69
    @Obliv69 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    38:00 what you are talking about is a psychological term called "grey rock". its similar to how an animal will pretend to be dead so an attacking animal leaves it alone. every response you have is "meh, whatever". you dont react in any positive or negative way and that gives them no feedback to your emotion.

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks for the tip, Obliv! Love discovering and naming the psychological approach related to the advice. I've just googled it and seems like a "grey rock technique" is widely used while dealing with abusive people. It helps to keep things from escalating further on. Seems like you've mastered your way of dealing with narcissists and bullies :)
      Missed you on Sunday! Have a great week my friend!

    • @Obliv69
      @Obliv69 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks Marat, i missed being there for the stream too. unfortunately its midnight sunday night for me and i was pretty tired so had to give the last one a miss.
      understanding the techniques (grey rock) is easier than it is to do. it takes continual effort to use these techniques when required.

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Obliv69 I didn't realize it was quite late for you! Of course, Australia! It's good that you didn't stick around then, because the first stream failed and I had to restart it :)
      And I've been reading more about the "grey rock", next time I'll be more specific while speaking about "not reacting", and it's thanks to you!
      Have a great Thursday, Obliv!

  • @manisymone8622
    @manisymone8622 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Prior to severely injuring my back and some months into the new job, all that was agreed upon was sticking to the tasks that needs daily tackling and time would later be invested into properly delegating other tasks, since there is a lot of growth going on.
    Now 3-4 months later and 2 months into recovery, they rather are looking for a senior and yet complain of having to work the weekends and long hours, but care not to delegate. When repeatedly asking for work or at least a start into a new task, the excuses follow: online training takes too long and is too much of a hassle, actual dates get postponed or next week, becomes next month to never.
    One day they will say things one way and the other day the other, very confusing.
    Now I'm being ignored like a plague in so much that the CEO, HR etc.are avoiding me as much as they can. Thankfully, I have lots of vacation hours stocked up

  • @MeggsSense
    @MeggsSense 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I have one and I feel like I just can't take it anymore

  • @reedrts1
    @reedrts1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You know my story...lol...but one thing that helped, is that my gym had a punching bag, and I would pretend that bag was The Bee-Yatch.

  • @metalalive2006
    @metalalive2006 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    As you mentioned that it is a red-flag to criticize your bosses and managers at job interview , in my case I work in tech industry and my manager is a horrible tech-lead who loves micromanagement , he contributed nothing technical but played office politics game every time when there is new technical issue coming up.
    Recently I am preparing for my next interviews, if I get behavior interview questions like "please describe the most difficult situation or issue at work and how did you deal with it" , how does it sound if I come up with the answer like this :
    *I handled these situations ALWAYS with my colleagues together in the same team or from other teams , while my manager suggested to do A,B,C ...etc but all of them didn't work after we tried and the manager didn't have any idea....*
    I just try NOT to describe any contribution from my manager (because it is also true in my case and some of my colleague cases, he couldn't give proper advice to the technical issue we've faced) , could that avoid red flag like criticism to your boss/manager ?

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hi there! It's great that you've already started getting ready for behavioral interview questions and for upcoming job interviews! Yes, criticizing your manager or your company is a big "no-go" and the type of answer you are giving will have a negative impact on your interview. Because you are letting them know that your current manager "doesn't have a clue".
      Instead you should focus on all the steps you've been doing to resolve the issue, forget your colleagues as well. The behavioural interviews are all about what YOU've done, not what someone else or what your team does. Just describe how you've gone though all the options suggested and finally choose the one which helped you resolve the issue.
      How long have you worked under this management by the way?

    • @metalalive2006
      @metalalive2006 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      thanks for the feedback , and yes my answer should focus more on what I have done with solutions I came up with, and no need to talk about how I've worked with my colleague (unless interviewers ask for more detail , but I think I need to carefully choose my story for that detail through) .
      I've worked under the team (with the manager) for about 2 years

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@metalalive2006 Yes, structure your answer. I have sample answers for most of the job interview questions, they'd be helpful for you to come up with yours.
      Two years is more than enough to figure out that this person isn't going to make things any easier for you.

  • @markpavlakovich3019
    @markpavlakovich3019 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Marat, you're r almost always over the target with your discussion(s). My recent experience was a role that was changing due to technology. Instead of being honest and acknowledging the obvious my boss started to play games...ultimately to diminish my reputation. As soon as I made it clear that I was transferring to another department, the open disrespect began. I had to give 2 week notice because the transfer was taking too long.

  • @mephisto5585
    @mephisto5585 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I want to comment I recently had a toxic boss. He would micromanage everything you do. Even would say if you had cup noodles it is not healthy or given a few cough you says you have covid. Not only that he would not be a equal opportunity boss and give favors to the people he likes and bend the rules while he would concentrate you make any tiny mistake and create a caos out of it. I just swallow my gut for 2 months but in the end he just fired me for no reason. If you see any signs of this just quit right away.

  • @megan5873
    @megan5873 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    how to not react when they are being jerks to you all day?😪

  • @Bibleinformationandhelp
    @Bibleinformationandhelp 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Maybe the boss is told to be really strict. To push the employees to be more productive. I believe the boss and HR are one of the same.

  • @debbiereynolds8790
    @debbiereynolds8790 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I’m literally dealing with this….

  • @albertpd4994
    @albertpd4994 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    A bad boss take take good staff and destroy them, even the best employees will lose their motivation and leave, that's when they are not fired before leaving

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That's very true.

  • @MarcosRodriguez-es4gz
    @MarcosRodriguez-es4gz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Keep these coming

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I will!

    • @stepinside
      @stepinside 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      yes great content

  • @hanifjones4914
    @hanifjones4914 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    At what point do you speak up? Cause at the end of the day they will keep pushing the boundaries.

  • @Fr00gi
    @Fr00gi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Your videos is a great help and inspiration

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you so much, Alex. I am sure the situation improves very soon. Best of luck and keep me updated!

  • @bluebird4424
    @bluebird4424 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hello Marat thank you so much for your videos I just found you and appreciate your feedback. My question is how do you deal with a manager who you have had multiple discussions with about having an additional person well trained in my position because currently I am the only one that does everything in my role ( I work in pharmacy) but I was also asking for an important reason and that's patient safety since I noticed an increase in errors made while processing refills. I love my job I get to learn so much and be part of a process that helps patients get better but at times when I go to work I feel sick to my stomach. I make sure to never compromise my performance as I can to everything on my own but need feedback please.

  • @LonjeMarie7
    @LonjeMarie7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for what you do your videos are very helpful I like your style and I love your voice

  • @SarahRejsa-oi6bq
    @SarahRejsa-oi6bq ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Do you have any new videos coming out yet ?

  • @NinaAndCoco
    @NinaAndCoco ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Marat you are an angel 😇

  • @samston
    @samston ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hr believes their lies because HR just as bad as them. They not supportive, she is a bad witch.

  • @monicasweer7253
    @monicasweer7253 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Everyone is missing deadlines.

  • @jjohnson1434
    @jjohnson1434 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My boss fired me with her lies, after 37 years!

  • @mercy2848
    @mercy2848 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hello Marat, I am in a situation where I don't even know what to do. Last year I lost my baby at birth on coming back after maternity leave I felt unwanted and even some of my work was scrapped of my plate. My reliever was my boss's relative. Than boom after 6months I am pregnant again this time carrying a high risk pregnancy. The boss I think is a narcissist and I am really going through alot. Were it not that I needed money I would have quit like yesterday. Please advise 😭

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I am really sorry you've gone through such terrible times. You know your number one priority is your pregnancy, so do whatever it takes to isolate yourself from any kind of stress, especially the stress of a toxic work environment. How long have you worked there for? Maybe you could negotiate taking the maternity leave earlier for less pay, nothing material is worth taking any risk with your pregnancy.

  • @jjg8605
    @jjg8605 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Criminal charges for the felonies

  • @JoanFreese
    @JoanFreese 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Do you have any lives planned?

  • @oscar-gl7zn
    @oscar-gl7zn 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    what if they continue and they feel it is ok to continue i was told ididnt hire you you were transfered i want to report her bulling to the state the company is Dollar General which has a bad employee reputation she over looked my effort to be a lead hired from outside. she blames everything on me im 54 im tired of her sh.

  • @aminaamina7130
    @aminaamina7130 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    So, what you’re saying is to leave! That’s not why we’re here!

  • @bojiisbusinessaffairssmith7930
    @bojiisbusinessaffairssmith7930 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hello!

  • @marthabruce1853
    @marthabruce1853 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hello

  • @rafi.and.yehuda
    @rafi.and.yehuda 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Love these videos but it’s time to close shave.

  • @chungyanwong7293
    @chungyanwong7293 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hello Marat. I know this question may sound weird and if you see this, *may you do me a favour of answering me if one of my friend's manager is a toxic or just an incompetent boss?* My friend told me about the following that is observed from the manager:
    1) When my friend got hired and accepted, *the manager says to my friend "Welcome to the family"*
    2) The manager sets many *unrealistic expectations emphasizing on competition* without considering what the outside market is currently facing
    3) The manager favours people who do a better job and *gives more clients to these people* (In the industry that my friend works in, the more clients you have, the more money you will make)
    4) When my friend tries to work hard and informs the manager about work status, *the manager says a lot of negatives* toward my friend
    5) My friend tried to have a regular conversation with the manager and *my friend finds that the manager is not speaking English properly* despite during the interview, my friend says to me the manager seemed nice, approachable, and even had a wonderful casual conversation
    6) *My friend was heavily placed in a huge disadvantaged situation by the manager* after making a mistake or making a brutal honest opinion
    7) *When my friend asks for help, the manager will say that the manager is very busy*
    8) When my friend shares reflections with the manager after a serious incident has happened, my friend tells me that the manager says things like "I am not new to the industry". *Is this a sign of arrogance?*
    9) *My friend suspects that the manager does take part credit* every time there is a client who gives positive feedback and who wants to continue to make business with the industry my friend is currently working in
    10) The manager once told my friend *"Some people love our institute because they care"*
    Sorry for keep using the words "friend" and "manager". I want to protect the identities of my friend and the manager, that's why

  • @hollyvanheck5011
    @hollyvanheck5011 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hi I just came across your video, because I work for 2 toxic managers they are both very threaten and intiminated by me. I am a 52 year old female working on a freight team. I am one of the fasted. I solve my own situation reguarding issues that arise. I am 10 to 20 years older than my counter parts. I can recongnize alot of thier behavior on your video. They have tried to take my self esteem away, make me doubt my own abilities, and even gave me constructive critisiums, that noone one the team likes working with me, it was the time in my life that a manager has taking this course with me, but i believe it started a week after i began working there after he and I had a conversation I let him know that I know who I am and that a I am not here looking for his validation 9f what kind of worker I am. I believe in doing a 110 % at any job I do. That I love and accept who I am for the good and the bad. I also know that iam not everyones cup of tea so ta speak. I am not perfect, but am not affraid to acknowlege my weakness and work on them. I am kind to everyone. I do not totally agree with your thoughts on a boss who is toxic and insecure. This should not be a situation people should run from. You have great examples of what they act like. But I believe that this behavior needs to be addressed and not be allowed in the management roll. You say you have HR experience so why not help change this inside the corporation at the top level. Share your knowledge of how these type of managers actually hinder the company from achieving the money they desire to make. I apologize for getting off track. I am a type A(INFJ) personality. I don't believe this issue should be excepted in the work place. I believe by sharing this information with the boss it would prevent him from showing off. However, i continually heard him say negative things to others and called him out on it after he said to me he would be done with the job i was doing. To me it seem as if his boosting about himself because he was insecure about something in his life and he felt powerless to change it or how to fix it. So I replied, thats great you can do that, but I asked him if he was feeling insecure about something. He didn't reply. But never szid that again. I have been working there for 2 years, and just recently I noticed that i was being isolated from the team. So i had a discussion with this boss about how i felt on the otherside of his behavior. I also asked if that was what he was trying to accomplish. He said i sorry if that hurts your feelings but that is how otners feel. What he does not know is after recieving some feed back about how the team felt i went to them directly and asked them if i at any point made them feel small and inadiquite about thier job. Thier reply was no. So that told me that it wasnt the team who felt that way around me it was him. Then he has hired another manager that has the exact same issue. I have express to both of them how funny it is that this is not the first time people have singled me out and tried to do harm to me, usually those who appose me usaully back fires and exposes them of thier wrong doing, I think that if we live in fear and allow others to take our persnal power away is wrong. We need to face our fear and conquer them including people who bully and are destructive to others. I dont really know if at this moment it has created more of an issue for me or not by confronting them both with how i interprate thier behaviors, like telling them i can identify what they are trying to accomplish by them. I let them know i am not niave and i call it as i see i will own my own stuff but i will not own others. It did bug them that my reply to a girl who stated i made ger feel bad and gave her dirty looks, it was a lie this is what she did to me. But i didnt fight with that or defend that. I said i am sorry that she felt that way. If the issue she had was her issue and i wasnt going to make it mine. She was insecure about herself and didnt feel she measured up because on any given day i out work most younger people. Not my problem she need to work on herself. Everyday i told her she did a great job. So if she felt that way it wzs on her and not me.i also said to him if that is how she feels than he as a boss needed to work with her to help her feel more confident. Informztion is power. They made her employee of the month. I guess i was curious on your view.