My childhood friend/academic rival ended up being valedictorian of my high school class. During her grad speech, she talked about how she didn't have many friends and that the library was her home. She ended up going to Berkeley, and when I asked about how she was doing, it turned out she was doing the same thing. No social interaction whatsoever. And she was super lonely. She ended up speaking at her college graduation ceremony too, and it was the same exact speech about not having friends or having a social life in general. She just spent the whole time studying, and she wasn't even joking about it. She looked genuinely sad.
oh noooo i feel bad but i just wonder how she didnt get fed up with it. i would be so frustrated and just goof off for a day not caring about tomorrow even if its just for a short moment
@@luciabee my college has claimed that they operate on a break-even business model, but that has not stopped them from raising tuition by $1000+ with no additional aid over the past 3 years that I've been attending. they never say WHY they're raising tuition, only that the rate is consistent with past tuition hikes. like wtf??? I go to a private college so not sure if its the same for state schools. I also learned that the chairs of the board for my school get a fat bonus every year but this past year they decided to use it for a gift for the school which is great and all, but its not something they do every year or even often. the problem is they shouldn't even be getting a bonus at all. that money should be put back into the school on things used for the students
Student: I'm the top of my class, well known with my teachers and peers, I help run my families business, I started an organization to help with poverty stricken areas after natural disasters leave them struggling, NASA has approved me to be the first human on Mars and I- Colleges: Yeah but according to your third grade teacher, one of your friends made a joke about Anna's hair and you laughed. So... :/
“But you saw what they were doing to Tyler and you did nothing!” “Because I was over ON THE BENCH.” And then my dad said, “Just explain to me this. How are you better than a Nazi?” -John Mulaney
@@berkay1773 point is when people say colleges have ridiculously high standards they are talking about the over priced colleges that lie to you that it matters what college you went to
Amy Living In Chrysalis same! I live in Australia and faced immense disappointment from teachers and family when I decided not to apply for university, currently working as an accounts assistant and studying with a TAFE (not sure what the US equivalent is) and I’m so happy with my choice. If I want to go to university I’ll do it later. Will never push the narrative that a university degree is the only way to be successful.
My 17 year old daughter was labeled gifted in 1st grade and it has haunted her since then. She never feels like she’s “living up” to what she should be capable of. We are not the type of family to push anything on our kids aside from morals, so it’s all self inflicted with a large dose of guilt piled on by her school. I’d love to hear more about your experience.
I was labeled "gifted" in second grade and it just didn't bother me much. It was a small town and there were many people in the program so I didn't feel special or anything. Then I moved to another country and now I'm back but in a different state but there isn't a program like that, at least not that I know of. So I guess it neither had a positive nor negative effect on me
I’m 16 and have been I the GT (gifted and talented) classes my whole life. I’m currently ranked 2nd in my grade for my school. I have been taken from 4th grade classes to be put into 5th grade ones and skipping over whatever I should’ve learned for an entire year. I’m taking AP Calculus and still don’t know how to divide fractions or my fast facts. Every summer other gt kids ask what you will be doing the summer. I’m talking internships at Johns Hopkins university or engineering camps. Every end of the quarter you stay up until 4:00 am to finish projects and work you never had time to get to then wake up at 6:00 am for school. I take college classes on top of my gt and ap because I don’t have time to take classes such as gym in my schedule. My parents NEVER pushed me into anything but rather tried to talk me out of harder classes. The school system will try to push you into harder classes to brag how many kids are taking AP classes and compete with other schools. GT culture is so toxic but the problem is that teachers treat kids in standard classes like they aren’t even teenagers but toddlers. You don’t care about your mental or physical health when you have projects due. I like to think that I don’t care about my grades more than myself but I have had mental breakdowns when I got a B. We live off of coffee and complaining about how much we don’t want to do this shit anymore but keep doing it. I hope this helped.
I was labelled gifted in 3rd grade and absolutely failed in the gifted programs in my district. I was getting C's in grade 5 and it shot my confidence in the foot. I also struggled with not living up to the expectations that my teachers and my mom placed on me even at the age of 10. It led to a full breakdown at age 15 that I'm still recovering from. I managed to get my grades up via intense internal pressure on myself during my last 1 and 1/2 years in high school and after I had that graduation with honours and acceptance to university I burnt out for my first year of uni and have ended up with remedial classes for my next and second year of uni all because of the internal and external pressure from that gifted label.
I was in the same situation as your daughter. Schools and teachers do tend to guilt trip gifted students if they're not excelling in literally everything.
The tragedy of this is is that does not stop after high school. In fact, it some cases it gets worse because now you are trying to deal with a college load while dealing with internships, and joining clubs, homework and graduating with honors so you can land an elite job post college because for some reason they expect you to have years of experince right after college. God forbid if you have to work full time to support yourself in school. And let's not even start with the ethical implications of internships. It's more like slave labor.
@Cassandra Pentaghast I see where you are coming from, but for me, since my parents can't help me out at all with school, I have to work a full time job and jump through non stop hoops to qualify for honors, scholarships, internships, homework, all while working full time. For me, it is just a continuation of high school BS.
Unpaid internships are really awful, I feel like there could be a video about that. I had three internships during college and with all of them I just did all the routine errand stuff, nothing that would actually be pertaining to my major. So, on paper, I have "experience" but when it comes to actual skills, there are none. It leads to great insecurity during job applications, because you feel somewhat inadequate or don't meet the expected criteria
So TRUE! I'm applying for jobs fresh out of college right now, and every single ENTRY-LEVEL position I have applied for requires 3-4 years of experience in the field! They also request Master's degrees a lot of the time, too. Can someone explain to me how that could be possible for anyone at an entry level?!
Most unpaid internships are illegal based on Dept of Labor standards, they just don't get enforced. If the focus of the internship isnt educative for the intern or the duties can be replaced by a salaried employee, its technically illegal.
The expectations are insane. Society acts like if you don't have a high gpa and are "well rounded", your life is over. It wasn't until after high school, that I learned specifics about trade school and starting businesses.
@@malarkeylaboratories3658 ridiculously high test scores, a gpa over 4.5, and 72 different ECs including sports, clubs, charities, volunteering, part-time jobs, etc., that's all. :) oh, and don't forget having the ability to answer and write the countless essay questions asking you 800 words on your passions outside of school and ECs. (as if those are even physically possible to have)
@@malarkeylaboratories3658 i feel like it may have started off as something well intentioned, like "don't spend all your time on coursework, you should do other things like take up a sport, volunteer, join a club, etc" but it turned into "you have to not only excel in your coursework, but also all those other things in order for me to take you seriously".
this is so critical. high school and college start an unhealthy "hustle" focused life. it's not one focused on happiness or joy, but on monetary contribution
Literally. I have always loved school and learning, but before I went to high school, I simply wanted to be an artist and major in history, philosophy, or literature :( Just for fun truly, not necessarily for a "high-paying" job.
@ me from the future! I studied philosophy and classical studies. I loved every second of it. I’m now preparing to go to law school and get a masters in ancient Mediterranean civs. It’s been hard at times but do what you love!!!!!!
Okay, so I'm from Germany and it's such a fucking concept to me that you literally have to pay to take a test. Like, I don't understand how anyone could see an opportunity to make money in that.
I live in the states and I've been wanting to go to an international school in germany or somewhere in central Europe because it wouldn't be the death of me. My family is pretty poor and the tests alone would hurt us financially. I'm a sophomore and I'm already burnt out from American education. So many people say I'm ungrateful for the "opportunities I've been given" but I seriously can't see myself living, working, or going to school here much longer.
@@alexusmorrison4195 I know, I've been thinking about this for a while now, and I think I'm really going to pursue it if I can't get a scholarship here. There are so many more opportunities for me, and my preferred major (Anthropology) abroad than I do here, and at a reasonable price in comparison to the US, where I would be spending myself into a corner of debt that I would realistically, be fifty by the time I actually pay off.
I always want to encourage people to go to community college first because it saves so much money and you can still transfer to a 4 year college after. You can easily get accepted into community college so then you don’t have to worry about all those expectations while you’re in high school. I never took the SAT or ACTs and I didn’t take any IB or AP classes because I simply didn’t want the stress. I graduated high school with a 3.6 GPA which I thought was really good (especially compared to some of my peers) and got my AA at community college with a 3.8. Now I’ve been accepted into the University of Washington as a transfer student. I can’t begin to imagine how someone would get over a 4.0 and the toll it would take. I feel blessed that my parents were always proud of me and didn’t pressure me to be a “perfect” student. Not saying community college is for everyone, but it worked amazing for me and many other people I know!
Hey, I’ll be applying to UW this year! Question, you said you never took the SAT’s or ACT’s and went to community college first, I’m currently a senior in high school and am in running start. I’m in my second year and I still haven’t taken my SAT’s yet but am debating about doing them or not because I’ve been confused on if I even need it since I will technically be a transfer student and be in my junior year by the time I’d get there. Do you think if I just focus on getting a good college GPA that I could get in even without doing the SAT?
I’m also a full-time student and will have my AA by the time I graduate but I’ve just been stressing about my SAT’s and have changed the date twice because I’ve been super busy and I thought I should ask you since you’re going to the exact same school I want to go to 😊
Marc Myron That’s awesome you did running start! I’m pretty sure as long as you got your AA, they shouldn’t require your SAT or ACT scores when you apply. For me, they just needed my college transcript and high school transcript. I had a 3.8 GPA in community college and a 3.6 for high school and I got in just with that! I’m going to the UW Bothell location instead of Seattle so I’m not sure if they have different requirements (I doubt it). But just to be sure, I would recommend calling or emailing an academic advisor or admissions specialist to ask. Good luck!
@@hi727lol I'm in the same situation. So I was suggested to apply as a freshman and still took the SATs. My SAT score made my application stronger, so it helped me
dont forget that even WITH AP classes: many colleges want you to have a super high UNWEIGHTED GPA and many non-public colleges do not accept 3 scores on tests, some require 4s or even 5s
@@eira839 You'll be glad you took them when you get to college (if your college accepts them). I took one AP class and two dual enrollment classes (which are much better because I didn't have to take a test at the end of the year) and now I don't have to take as many classes each semester, which not only saves me time, but also saves me money
A Person At my high school, students don't have a choice in whether or not they take AP classes. If the class can be AP, you are definitely taking it as AP. The school will pay for your tests, which is cool, but studying for 4 AP tests as well as the SAT and ACT at the same time, WHILE keeping up with your classes in Junior Year is kinda stressful. Thank goodness I don't have a life that would interfere with my studies! [Somebody save me!]
I was so freaking stressed at the end of my senior year I was legitimately suicidal. Between the pressure of keeping up with my grades, working after school, college and SAT prep classes (which my mom worked extra hours to pay for- isn’t that a whole new level of guilt) and extra curriculars I was absolutely drowning. I felt like I was always behind. I thought that Everyone was doing better than me, everyone was getting scholarships, everyone was getting accepted to better schools etc. My immigrant parents made me feel like every decision I made was the wrong one and I could be doing better. It got to the point where I was crying myself to sleep almost every night, having panic attacks over the smallest things, and developed an eating disorder. I’m now going to a college that wasn’t my first choice and you know what? That’s okay. In fact it’s more than okay, it might not be an Ivy League or even #1 in the state but I’ve learned to be happy where I am because if I continued going down the path I was headed down I wouldn’t be here right now.
@@Yvp13 Ik this comments a year old and yea they couldve...and then what? Look bad in the colleges perspective because they didnt keep consistent with their extracurriculars? Its unfair but those are the expectations.
The moment I realized the acceptance system is completely f***** was when the second ranked student in my graduating class was rejected from a top school in California. If anyone reading this doesn’t get into their top pick/s remember, it’s not you it’s the system. You’re worth more than what school does or doesn’t accept you.
The GPAs I've found are meaningless at actually predicting student success. As someone who teaches college freshman biology, the high school GPAs of my students each year are on average going up, but the quality of work has they produce has gone down. The students get so caught up in checking these boxes and overworking themselves to meet impossible standards, that they miss out on learning and understanding the material. They get so hyper-competitive and obsessed with doing everything by the book and making sure everything is perfect for med school applications in the future, that they immediately shut down if something didn't go exactly to plan. There's too much of an emphasis on quantity of activities that the students lose the ability and the time necessary to focus and learn things deeply, and GPAs get padded by the high schools themselves to make up for this, so the newer classes look better on paper, but are coming in less prepared every year. I teach at a large public state school, so I only imagine it's even worse at more competitive colleges.
THIS!!! I removed my videos on my statistics as a college vlogger / student accepted to an ivy league school because I realized how toxic the culture was and how, by making those videos, I was perpetuating it. Even one of my best friends at college told me how her dad would compare her to me through my videos before we even met. It's toxic for everyone, parents and kids.
I've watched your videos. Your ability to reflect on this topic AND respond compassionately in a way that is aligned with your values is what makes you successful. Well done! Take care of yourself and keep showing love to your community♥️
Dude I love your vids! And as I study for the SAT on my own to get a steep point-increase, videos like yours and tiffanyferg's ground me and keep me from going into the deep end this year :)
I'm a high school senior, and one of the most toxic things about the college admissions process is one's class rank. A top university in my state will automatically accept the top 6% of students in the graduating class. This has lead a seriously unhealthy behavior of comparing class rank (which is based on weighted GPAs) between students and a ramped-up sense of competition- even between friends
Yeah I kinda hate the texas system cause some of my friends who were sub 6 (like 7-10) just got flat out rejected. And some of the 6% kids didn’t even get their major!!?
Yes! I hate that. I remember in high school many students would ask each other what was their class rank as if we are defined just by one number. It’s so unhealthy.
Knew this was Texas as soon I saw the bit about the 6%. The competition over class rank was especially bad at the high school I went to, too. The graduating class was more than 700. And since I was in the AP/dual credit environment, I'd hear people comparing their class ranks all the time. They even asked for mine when I ran for office in one of the activities I was in, which I found unnecessary.
This is exactly why I decided to go to community college and it was probably the best decision I've ever made. I remember senior year they put so much pressure on college admissions and maintaining a high gpa that was unattainable but two years later here I am debt free, chilling and transferring in the spring as a junior. 🙌
Yes, that is so smart! I went to an incredibly affordable school as well (not community, but very heavily subsidized), and I believe my education was of just as good a quality as any other school. Now, when talking about networking and connections, obviously, you can't beat those Ivy Leagues, but when it comes purely to the education aspect, I believe you can get a great one at tons of places. I think the whole "top-tier school or bust" attitude is completely unnecessary.
I skipped college and went straight to a trade school for ultrasound (cardiac and vascular)about 18 years ago... best decision I made. College is not for everyone and that’s OK.
I honestly wish apprenticeships and trade schools had been more of a thing when I left school (or I’d been told about them) 20 odd years ago. As much as I liked college, I was pushed into it by my dad and felt I could only do certain courses rather than what I actually wanted to do.
Frrrrr had my first breakdown at 14 and dropped out of school all together at 17, was too insecure to even get my GED until I was twenty. A lot of things can go wrong when that kind of pressure is put on a kid
@@parishayes2075 at a certain point I started demanding teachers let me work on my own because I didn't feel it was fair. Of course some things needed a group, but those activities were always the kind that everyone HAS to participate, somehow (dissecting a frog, doing a skit in health, etc). It happens everywhere
In my school, and I think in Austria in general, there isn't that much pressure. Sure, you gotta graduate, but you don't need extracurriculars and that kinda stuff to get into university (we don't have college). The unis make you take tests which vary from uni to uni. Also university isn't expensive. It's either for free or about 300-400$ a year. I am so glad I don't have to put up with this kind of BS. We don't even have AP's and I still don't understand GPA's. Also, who tf PAYS for a test?! That sounds so stupid.
I also live in Austria and the pressure depends probably on in which school you are going to. I attend high school for chemistry (HTL). Even the 'gifted' students struggle to do all the stuff that we are supposed to do and to get good grades. But with the rest I completely agree. If I compere the educational system to the USA, I'm really happy to live in Austria and be able to afford education.
I feel this soo much because I just graduated high school. I had a nearly perfect gpa, took biology AND organic chemistry at a local university in senior year, I had a 34 on my ACT and I was a National Merit finalist all while doing track. I had so many breakdowns and it got soo much worse when i got rejected from my first choice and waitlisted at my next two choices
I had a high GPA and a 35 act, international science fair and varsity athletics and got rejected from all of my “reach” schools and ended up staying home for school at my local university. And after watching my friends at other institutions, I’m so grateful that it worked out this way. I feel like my local school supports me and I feel at home here. I’ve been able to thrive! You never know what will happen. And no matter what it is, you’ll be okay
overachieving in school ruined my life. i’ve always been an aggressive overachiever, spreading myself incredibly thin with school work, extra circulars, theatre and sport. don’t get me wrong, there were a bunch of other environmental factors including on going mental health conditions, but essentially at the end of year 10 my body couldnt take it anymore, and issued a psychosomatic cry for help. i developed a chronic pain condition, and this disability has forced me to drop out of all activities, attend school part time, postpone my highschool graduation by a year and go on medication with various harmful side effects. so,,,,uh,,,,not saying this is going to happen to you or anything, but these kinds of conditions disproportionately effect teenage girls with a high achieving and anxious personality type ://
I feel this! I put myself through hell junior senior year just to have a tiny chance of getting accepted and it really hurt when I got rejected from my dream school. I felt like I had wasted the last four years of my life.
I appreciate you addressing how socioeconomic factors can affect what type of pressure/stress you experience as a HS student and I really related to your experience of going to a good school (I went to private) but not having the knowledge and resources that my more affluent peers had. My parents immigrated to the U.S when they were in their 20s and had no knowledge of the U.S college application process. Ultimately it was up to me to figure a lot of those things like financial aid and ACT/SAT test taking while my peers could go to their parents or siblings for advice/aid. One aspect that I think is a huge privilege in the college application process is the ability to travel to visit different schools around the country. I had peers flying or taking road trips during the weekend to see schools on the East/West Coast and my family did not have the financial means to take me anywhere outside of Illinois.
As a European person, I cant stop wondering about how bizarre the American school system is. It seems to have zero focus on actual education, but all the focus on the money. No wonder so many Americans think university is unnecessary....
yes it seems absolutely unnecessary...i feel like jn italy where i live school is pretty stressful and it’s difficult to get top grades in the final exams, but then for like 99% of italian unis they don’t care about the grades as much as an entrance exam that will determine itself if you get in or not
Im from Austria and i feel like the unis care more about how u actually do in school and not about what you do outside of school with clubs and stuff but to be considered 'good' u only have to have about a 2.0 average (in Austria 1 is the best, 5 lowest and u pass with everything better than 5) And to get into uni u just have to be average (about 3.0) only some courses require very good grades (like law and medical stuff) idk just thought id share that
When you compare this to the information in the book Kids These Days about how colleges are spending less and less money on professors and quality teachers and more on administration, fancy buildings and sports programs and it really makes no freaking sense. More and more students are being required to reach ever higher standards yet the quality of the education they receive is decreasing. As is the monetary pay off for education, with jobs following the trend of schools and requiring higher education that was never previously needed for those jobs, but for little or no increase in pay. So graduates are working harder to get into college, spending more on college, getting less quality education for it, and making less money with that education. It's completely and utterly nuts.
@@tiffanyferg Exactly! Yet the need to have a college degree for a decent paying job is going up, even though the quality of education is going down. It's become a system in which the illusion of higher education standards is more important than the actual quality of the education. It almost seems manufactured to cater to the wealthy who can afford all the special classes, the testing, the extra curriculars, not to mention a little bribe here and there just to get the name of a fancy college on their kid's resume.
The generic 4-year college degree is the world’s most expensive participation award. If you don’t have a plan for your major and what kind of career you want to pursue after you get that major, you’re just throwing your money away. If there’s any doubt as to whether or not you’re ready for college... DON’T GO! It’s that simple. Get a job. Join the military. Go to trade school. I’m a “formerly gifted” student who dropped out of an elite engineering program after two months because I wasn’t mature enough to handle the pressure and responsibilities. I dropped out of college altogether a year later and started working as a home care aide. I’m back in school now, I have more years of maturity under my belt and I have a clear long-term path ahead with my intended Nursing major. My brother floundered around for a year after he graduated, he took some college classes but he wasn’t ready for university. Nobody at our private school talked with him about alternatives to the typical 4- year university. He joined the Marines, and he’s flourishing. If university is the right path for you, go for it. But college is a means to an end, it shouldn’t be a goal in and of itself. We need to make sure high school kids are fully aware of all the career-oriented options available to them after graduation, not just university.
As a Med School dropout who had to deal with severe depression/suicidal thoughts for years and is about to start a degree in Translation being happier than ever, I 100% agree. Take your time, get your priorities straight and never stop learning. You are your only competition.
The fact is not everyone should go to college. Pushing everyone to go to college is why colleges are so competitive these days. Colleges like you said are means to an end. Military programs and trade school should be highly advertised and less looked down upon. This would take pressure off of universities and the students who feel pushed into them.
I kind of believe the inverse? I have an English degree and I'm going to grad school for English Literature soon. I went to be educated and know everything there is about books. While I do eventually want to be a professor or author I also recognize that those careers are few and far between and not necessarily always the ends of getting my degree. I think education should be about intellectual curiosity in some cases. I also fully believe if you want a job and that's all, it's important to see if a degree is even required ie. trade school, etc. I found too many of my peers in my classes were unengaged and learning absolutely nothing because they thought in the end they'd win a piece of paper and go straight into a perfect job. Sorry bud, an English Literature degree doesn't translate into much, you better be here because you love books.
The Beautiful Little Fool I totally get where you’re coming from. People shouldn’t be half-assing college just to get that piece of paper, there has to be some sort of motivation beyond that. I needed to get out of the academia bubble to find my motivation, and now that I’m back in school I’m engaged and driven to succeed. I can totally respect folks like you who pursue subjects out of love for academia, but I’ve met too many people who are just trying to check off boxes for an “easy degree”.
This is encouraging! I've wanted to return for a Healthcare Administration degree for more years than it will take me to earn it, so I feel great about my level of commitment and I know I'll use every bit of information in the career I've been planning for myself for years now, but I worry about whether I'll still be a terrible student since I always was. It means a lot to read a story from another "gifted kid" (personally I identify as "severely gifted" lol) who dropped out of their earlier higher ed attempts and went into trades (I went straight into healthcare as well) and now has a healthy relationship with going to school!
My school’s valedictorian took all the AP classes offered at our school (16 classes) got an A in all and was still rejected from the school she wanted to go. But she did apply at MIT so that’s probably why
wow this sounds like good news for me lmaooo, I'm doing 3 AP Tests this may 2020 (self study) and am a junior. Im planning on doing more next year, but if she got rejected from MIT I don't know how im ever going to suit the part
@@musfiramohamed6322 There’s programs in my area that allow me to take college classes in replacement for high school classes. Only a small fraction get an AA. This program is rather rare
@@chrispham4347 i don’t know why you’re saying 90th percentile like that’s some insane Ivy score cuz I know for a fact that low 1400’s is still 99th percentile. Don’t mislead people by hiding your actual SAT score behind a percentile
I think we should also talk about how cheating is so rampant in our schools. Because students are forced to get high grades ALL the time, they think they have no choice but to cheat.
I love learning and I am ambitious, but I am sick of the idea that you have to check certain boxes in order to 'prove' you are committed to education. It feels sometimes like there is a never ending list of things you are expected to do...
Just got a deferral from yale... honestly perplexed. I’m the valedictorian of my class, captain of sports 2 teams, in all ap’s, almost perfect SAT and subject test scores, run charity clubs, have won both science and writing awards, had an amazing interview at yale, had an internship over the summer at yale, and conducted my own scientific research and received awards for it. Like what more could I possibly do? Give them my right arm and my soul?
i hate how hard it is to get privileged people to understand this. people with privilege don't want to know that they're privileged cause they want to feel like them and their peers are better and when you take that away from them, they get defensive.
I feel like it's also their brains hearing "these people have it harder" as "you didn't work hard". It might make them feel that the person is dismissing their possible hard work, which obviously isn't the intention, but when people focus more on how the argument reflects on them rather than on the people it's actually about they tend to get defensive
I think people are generally just frustrated that they arent all on an equal playing field. If that were the case, the world would make simple sense and let people advance with merit. (Some people would want to be able to buy merit and would be frustrated that they couldn't, but I really think most people are just annoyed that the results aren't all that matter when they often have nothing to do with their own circumstances, which are used to gauge their overall value.) But an equal opoortunity merit based system simply isnt reality, and that causes wierd and unpredictable (and also seemingly unfair) dynamics for people in various kinds of privilege, or even lack thereof. It's just hard to cope with that, especially being so young and not knowing all that much, on either end of the spectrum.
Yeontan's Eyebrows That’s exactly what it is. People can recognize that their circumstances might benefit them more, but when people call out others’ privilege, they do it in a way that’s almost derogatory to the privileged person, so the privileged person gets defensive. It makes it sound like it’s a bad thing to be privileged, and like privileged people don’t work hard. Everyone should work hard and be proud that they do, but everyone should also recognize that some people have to work harder to get to the same level, and they can be proud of that as well.
privilege can be anything though. it can be that you are rich, or that you are extremely attractive (pretty people have it much easier to get jobs they want). almost everyone has some sort of privilege, and it's unfair to discredit their success and say it's all because of their privilege. obviously, it's unfair that some people have more privilege than others, but it's not like they can change it. shouldn't we be happy for the privileged people, and help the under privileged ones? bring everyone to a higher level, rather than saying that privileged people don't deserve their privilege and they should be brought down to the underprivileged level?
There's been one time I had to pay for a test as a Filipino, and it's to take a full ride merit-based scholarship exam that would give the student complete tuition, book allowance, uniform allowance, monthly stipend, housing allowance, and even transportation allowance if you have to move to attend your school. And what I paid for that would be, converted, less than 4 dollars!!
my school paid for everyone to take the SAT. And if finances are a concern, you can get a fee waiver. Other than that, everything College Board has is more or less a scam (AP courses for example)
i was also one of those “gifted” kids and by the time i finished high school i was so burnt out from the expectations i had for myself and others had for me. i graduated with a 4.2 and took 6 aps. i’m going into my second year of college and my first year i completely tanked. it ruined my self esteem and confidence in my abilities and it’s still something i’m working on getting back and i really do blame it on the whole gifted student thing. can’t wait to watch your video on that!
I had a very similar experience as a “formerly-gifted” student, and I quit school altogether for a year after 15 consecutive months of steadily declining college grades. When I came back to school, I started off with just one class to build up my confidence, and built up to more intense courseloads in subsequent quarters. I managed to get all A’s and B’s so far, a significant improvement from the 1.5 GPA I had when I left school. It’ll take me a little longer to get my degree, but I don’t mind taking the extra time if I can preserve my sanity. Idk what your specific situation is or what your course requirements are like, but being able to start off concentrating on excelling in one course and building up from that was really effective in helping me regain my confidence in school. It might be worth considering, especially if you’re open to taking summer courses 🤷♀️
overachieving in school ruined my life. i’ve always been an aggressive overachiever, spreading myself incredibly thin with school work, extra circulars, theatre and sport. don’t get me wrong, there were a bunch of other environmental factors including on going mental health conditions, but essentially at the end of year 10 my body couldnt take it anymore, and issued a psychosomatic cry for help. i developed a chronic pain condition, and this disability has forced me to drop out of all activities, attend school part time, postpone my highschool graduation by a year and go on medication with various harmful side effects. so,,,,uh,,,,not saying this is going to happen to you or anything, but these kinds of conditions disproportionately effect teenage girls with a high achieving and anxious personality type ://
I crashed my junior of high school (last year) I just got to a point where I lost the motivation to even make myself do the easiest of work, I just wanted to slow everything down. Honestly it was one of the worst years of my life, I’m so done with this shit, I was always towards the topic the class, one the best gifted students, straight A+ , and organized student for my elementary and middle school life, then I went to high school and I’m no longer even close to the top, even tho my gpa is an a average... All due to AP classes that people take to pile up their gpas, AP Physics was the death of me as much as I absolutely loved the teacher,(I got a 2 score on the test, so I’ll get to do it all over again). And as I got older the classes didn’t necessarily get harder, the work load got larger. I have adhd and anxiety and it’s an added struggle to fit the school standard. I hate school
One of my teachers in my high school found out that if you have weighed GPA below a 4.0 then you are already in the bottom half the class, which is insane. Also as someone who has taken AP classes and came from an AP-heavy school, I will tell you that they are a scam. You hardly get credits and even if you do, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are ready to jump into the next level in your freshman year. The college board literally uses desperate students as a way to make money. I hope that company goes out of business soon
This is exactly why I went to a community college. Even though I didn’t get the typical “college experience” my freshman year, I was able to get a 3.5 GPA and get a scholarship to my dream school!!! But if I had applied straight out of high school I probably wouldn’t have even gotten into that school in the first place.
Thank you so much for talking about this. I worked so hard in high school to get into my dream school and I eventually did, but at the cost of my mental health and my self confidence. I was so busy trying to stay on top of everything that when my best friend suddenly died during my senior year, I only had a day to grieve before I had to jump right back in to keep my grades up and maintain my extracurriculars. That mindset made my first year of college very tough and I wish there wasn't such a high bar set for EVERY applicant to these selective schools.
It's too bad I can't give this a million likes. I'm now exactly where you are busting my butt to get into a namebrand university like the Ivies at the expense of my mental health, overall quality of life, and wellbeing. School is the only thing I care about. I've been so set on the idea that going to Harvard or Johns Hopkins will make me feel like I'm good enough. So, though I have excellent grades, going to school everday breaks my spirit and now nothing makes me happy anymore. I wish things were different. If I had higher self-esteem, I wouldn't feel the overwhelming need to prove that I'm good enough by getting into a single university.
Sydny Long overachieving in school ruined my life. i’ve always been an aggressive overachiever, spreading myself incredibly thin with school work, extra circulars, theatre and sport. don’t get me wrong, there were a bunch of other environmental factors including on going mental health conditions, but essentially at the end of year 10 my body couldnt take it anymore, and issued a psychosomatic cry for help. i developed a chronic pain condition, and this disability has forced me to drop out of all activities, attend school part time, postpone my highschool graduation by a year and go on medication with various harmful side effects. so,,,,uh,,,,not saying this is going to happen to you or anything, but these kinds of conditions disproportionately effect teenage girls with a high achieving and anxious personality type ://
Raven Trunite Wow, sounds similar to me, though my "Great Crash" happened in college. All of that strain over the years gave me a long term digestive/fatigue disorder, and I had to take a lot of time off, watch all my friends graduate before me, and not achieve all the things I had wanted to achieve. I'd dream of the things I could have been doing if I hadn't been stuck in bed, my body feeling like a worn out old dishcloth... Hang in there friend, it takes time and healing, and a lot of introspection about what you truly want to do with your life (and likely your overachieving brain will try to concoct a lot of lies about what your life is "supposed" to look like or "should have" looked like), but you can still find fulfillment in life. It's just a matter of figuring out what your natural strengths are, what things bring you a sense of fulfillment even if they're little things, and learning how to stay within your limits. And it's ok to take it slow and be imperfect and messy and bad at doing all that. My own road to recovery and self-discovery has taken several years now and is still going on, but my outlook on my life and my prospects has vastly improved as I've gradually shifted my priorities and how I evaluate myself. I believe in you! Your life isn't ruined, you are simply starting a new chapter. It might take several false starts but you can find a new path for yourself. Take care of your health and be kind to yourself, treat yourself as though you were someone you loved and were looking out for them.
The worst part is that no matter how hard you work and how burnt out you get, there are always students, maybe at your school, maybe on the internet, who are dramatically better than you at EVERYTHING. You taught yourself to speak a second language? well there's a guy/girl who speaks 4 and taught themselves 2. Like photography? why didn't you start a photography business and make money to quantify your passion for colleges? Do you play a sport? doesn't matter because you didn't play it at a national/Olympic level. Like STEM? Why didn't you publish your own research in an accredited journal? Like politics? Why didn't you intern with the federal government? The list goes ON and ON and ON and there is no end, which leads to you working harder and harder and never feeling accomplished. Every success you ever had was minimal and everything you DIDN'T do is a FAILURE because you CHOSE not to do it. All this bs just makes you define your identity by a need for academic prestige, but at the same time you KNOW that you will never be able to achieve it, it's horrible. All this and there are practically no opportunities to relax for long enough for you to clear your head and separate your perspective enough to acknowledge the problems that the system causes. Even worse is when you spend 4 years (like 40% of your conscious life up until that point) grinding away only to discover that your school has been working against you through poor budgeting, lack of class availability, etc. The whole system obviously sucks but there is no way out once you are in because your FAMILIIES FINANCIAL FUTURE DEPENDS ENTIRELY ON HOW HARD YOU ARE WORKING IN HS, its crippling.
Exactly AND high scholers act like its illegal to go to your state school. Like going to the university of Maryland or Iowa or Wisconsin etc doesnt mean you willbe dirt poor and depressed. It still looks great on job apps
I live in a third world country but going to college is really straightforward. Public institutions are well-regarded and tuition free. private ones are expensive but basically free when compared to anything in the US.
@@eurekamreum5458 Not nearly as hard as here in the US. In the school district where I live 50%+ students are from Latin America (including me) and I've seen cases of students having easy access to places like UNAM, Universidad Nacional de Colombia, UBA and many more suffering to just get accepted to UF. The standards are astronomically different
I went to a high school that pushed college and they would insinuate that working a basic entry-level job was useless/bum work/trash along with my parents saying not going to college was a non-option. I went to a community college right after high school because I was guilted into it and, by no surprise, I failed all of my classes. I got a job, I worked for a couple years and then took a couple community college courses on the side to figure out what I wanted to do. Switched jobs and switched to full-time online classes. Keep in mind I was in school on and off never consistently for a full school year. Now I'm transferring to a university and that's awesome but I'm almost 26 and broke. To sum it up: if you don't know what you want to do work a job, move up, travel, have roommates/hate them/find new roommates, get a cat, find love, meet new people. Then when you're 24 (the age to get financial aid as an independent) maybe go to college. Live your fucking life to the fullest.
I'm about to start my senior year & I'm nervous about college bc my freshman year I got bad grades bc I had to help my mom raise my 3 siblings. I missed school a lot & never had time to do my work. But junior & sophomore year I got good grades and a high SAT score. I used to stress so much about school, that I eventually became really depressed. I've over come that now & have decided that no matter what happens everything is going to be okay in the end.
I'm not from the US but I've watched a few videos about the admissions system (not this one though, yet). I see an opportunity here. From what I understand most applications require an essay of some sort and that is where you would stand out. You'd have a chance to explain your grades and also show your wonderful qualities, like your priorities and what you learned from your very special experience in high school. You still managed good grades and scores, and that shows determination. I hope I gave you something at least. I'm sorry about your situation and I wish you the best of luck!
On a lot of applications there's a section where you can explain extenuating circumstances to grades you got. Like it's usually called "other information" or something. You can use it to explain you were helping raise your siblings which led to lower grades, or sometimes they even suggest you put family responsibilities as an extracurricular activity and say how many hours you do it. I used the additional information section to talk about how my grades took a huge plunge for sophomore year b/c of the anxiety disorder that I was eventually diagnosed with but that I improved my grades eventually. You have options!! I believe you can do it. It's really impressive that you have a positive outlook now :)
this is so weird i'm in like the exact same situation and i feel like no one understands it lmao. freshman year i was hella depressed and my grades were SO bad but i moved to another district and my sophomore/junior year grades have been pretty good, but my gpa is still kinda bad because of freshman year and i feel like no colleges are going to want me. i also did pretty good on my sat but i'm taking it one more time in august bc it was ten points away from my goal and i'm a perfectionist lol. but at this point i think i've come to terms with it and i know that i'm going to love whatever college i end up going to soooo it's fine haha
I had pretty bad grades my freshman year but I did pretty well sophomore and junior and got a decent sat score, and I still got in to the school I wanted.
in my school, the “gifted students” were hand picked to take the gates test. in elementary school, i was really bummed that i didn’t get picked to take the test. now, i’m so glad i never got a chance, since all the gifted kids have either fallen off the bandwagon or are under immense pressure
Oooooh as a high school teacher, I have so many thoughts & feelings on this subject! 1. As someone who went to a very small, rural, poor school, I grew up legitimately thinking things like AP/honors courses were just like TV/movie bullshit that wasn't real, like how all the kids in high school shows just spend hours standing around in the halls between classes, because we didn't have anything like that & no one around us did either. It was so weird going to university & finding out those things were real. Anyway. 2. Definitely parents will pressure the HELL out of teachers to give their kids higher grades! We will get calls/emails from parents all the time wanting to know why their child doesn't have an A, or what they can do to earn an A in a class. & it's complete bullshit. 3. Which is why I absolutely HATE GPA's & grades overall! Like, the American education system needs a complete overhaul. Grades mean next to nothing when each teacher in each school across the country has a different idea of what "A work" looks like. They're arbitrary! They're meaningless! Which is what I try to tell my students all the time - doing the work, trying the exercises, that's way more important than getting a high grade the first time around. I've had students who got like a 98% ask me what they can do to improve their grade further - & percentages don't even matter since anything above a 90% is all the same in your GPA. Oh, that also might be one of the reasons why students are graduating with higher GPA's too - I know when I was in high school in like, 2008-2012, our school had what I thought was a pretty standard grading scale that 93% & above was an A, but the school I teach at which seems to be pretty common now it's a 90% & up. Which hey, whatever I again think grades suck but still, could be a contributing factor. Children are under way too much pressure, I just really think we need to change the way high schools & colleges function.
This cycle is literally killing me. I go to an ultra high competitive high school and it’s hell. As 15 year olds we bragged about how little sleep we got and how good our grades were. I’m not dumb I got mostly As and Bs but LIED. About my grades so my peers wouldn’t make fun of me for being dumb. High school has gotten way too intense
You are not stupid. The notion of compartmentalizing young children into gifted versus non-gifted is inherently problematic, and it's not your fault that you never 'lived up to your potential' because this notion is toxic!! YOU are exactly where you need to be, and you can only focus on becoming better everyday. Don't worry about this arbitrary categories.
Gifted didn’t make a difference in my life I would have still developed good habits for school. I was never competitive or really smart to. Even for most kids in it, it never made a difference in the kids in my school.
My school had a suicide epidemic and I'm almost certain the pressures you're talking about here played a huge part, thanks for making this video, its so important
It is really stressful but as long as you remember/keep track of the confusing deadlines you can make it through! Speaking from personal experience it'll feel really good when you're just done with everything.
about ap classes: i went to three different high schools. one was small, in a small town, and offered limited ap courses. some teachers taught certain ap classes on an every other year basis (my bio teacher taught ap environmental science and ap bio). this was hard for HER because she needed to keep up with the curriculum in both courses even when she wasn’t teaching it and it proved a nuisance for the kids who wanted to take the courses because you had to carefully formulate your schedule around the availability of the class(es) you wanted to take. oftentimes, a student’s schedule wouldn’t line up and they’d have to choose to not take the class. the second high school i attended was over two or three times the size of my first one. it is located in an orange county suburb, about 20 minutes away from disneyland. they offered so many ap courses that some students would take 6 in a single year (i only took 3 over the spread of 2 years). i moved to the city and school less than a week before the school year was going to start. i had wanted to take an ap course so i signed up and went to the first week of classes but it quickly became apparent i wouldn’t be able to catch up since they had been assigned summer homework for the class. the teacher gave me an ultimatum and said she didn’t think i could catch up so i dropped the class. it sucked. ap summer homework is unnecessary and unfair. what if a student doesn’t have access to the internet? what if they’re busy enjoying their summer? or working?? what if they have mental health issues or disabilities?? the third school i went to offered no ap classes at all. it is an independent study school that offers online courses and one-on-one time with a teacher. their focus is on working with every student individually and catering to their needs to help them succeed. i really appreciated my time there. i wouldn’t have graduated without them. while i was in high school, no one explained to me how the credits i earned from passing my ap tests would translate to my college major. no one told me that different colleges only accept certain passing scores or that certain ap classes wouldn’t help me in my college career. i ended up wasting money. the worst part? those ap classes i took were LEAGUES more difficult and stressful than any college course i’ve taken so far. i’m a former “gifted kid” too and ap never helped me. it’s an elitist scam. any high school student would be better off doing dual-enrollment and taking gen ed at a local community college.
NOT TO MENTION!!!!! tests are by no means an accurate representation of someone’s intelligence! the fact that ap tests have large writing portions that are timed always put me at a disadvantage because i naturally write a lot and it takes me time to formulate my thoughts so i would never finish the test in time! so i got a lower score!
Yeah... don’t I know it, I was labeled gifted with a “high IQ” and it truly messed me up. oh, on top of that... I have AD(H)D that was untreated as a child, which just compounded my feelings of failure. How quick adults are to turn from “your so amazing!” To “what’s wrong with you just pay attention, are you even trying?!?!” Ugh I’m getting ulcers just thinking about it. Edit-typos.
MushroomReaper I FEEL THIS omg. I had that with me too; I had like 3 different learning issues (including ADHD) that weren’t diagnosed until May of my junior year lol. Until then it was a lot of being yelled at for my bad habits and just not being happy. Thank god that I found the right college and I’m doing well now, but high school was borderline traumatic for me
When you think you have pseudo-adhd from depression but your parents refuse to acknowledge it’s existence so you suffer and watch your grades slip as a consequence 👊😧👋😜
I think “tiger parents” are common in both Asian-American families and African-American families. By African-American I mean the African immigrants who came here by choice! There’s a big difference between the two.
I'm constantly surprised how hard things seem to be in the US while also being easy. Like most countries don't do the multiple question thing beyond primary school and assessments are in essay format or long form for maths. In my personal experience too I didn't find getting into uni hard at all because it was a calculated score you needed based on your results over your final year and with the system we had you could stack your work to allow you to know in advance that you were safe and accepted. Basically everyone over a certain score gets in. The universities couldn't care less about extracurricular activities either, they don't even ask about them.
C • that’s a good point! For example, I was an exchange student in France and the level of French of the American students was what we would consider far below high school level, but many of them were French majors. They were studying French at university, but were not even at basic conversation level.
i feel like the system is pretty great in australia too. rankings don’t come into the mix until years 11 and 12 (the final two years), before then you just get grades (A-E) for each subject. your coursework and end of year exams in year 12 are calculated and scaled against the difficulty of the subjects your taking and the competitiveness of your school. there are definitely some big problems with the ATAR system, like boiling kids down to one score, too highly rewarding exam prep which only tends to happen in private/ selective schools or through paid tutors, and ridiculously high bars for selective areas of study like medicine or law, but it sounds a hell of a lot better than the clusterfuck described in the video
@@raventrunite6459 I'm in NZ and it's even less complicated. All grades you earn through the year are given a weighted score of 1, 2 or 3 and the entry is set at a rank score of combined points. I knew about halfway through the year that I had enough points to be accepted into uni. For the degree I did it even literally says on the website, "you are guaranteed entry to this programme if you meet these requirements" and lists rank score, potentially required certain subjects for certain majors, and UE (which you would generally already have if you have enough points for the rank score). I found it all very smooth and stress free and I'm so glad it was like that, not what's described in this video.
I really relate to your personal upbringing actually cause I went to a public high school in a VERY affluent area although my family is lower-middle class (single immigrant mom, dad is mostly out of the picture). I am so thankful for my high school because they were very generous to me (as someone who wasn’t as privileged as most of my peers) and I really think they gave me an edge in many ways. It infuriates me that other students across the country didn’t receive the same quality of education and opportunities as I did simply because my high school was better funded due to high property taxes and such. I’m barely scratching the surface of the issue here but the education system in this country is literally so unequal and unfair it makes me want to scream. One day, the rampant inequality and corruption in the American education system will be lessened. Hopefully.
the concept of a 5.0 GPA is so silly, your high school GPA says very very very little about what kind of value the work you can do once you graduate from uni is. I failed my maths midterms in high school, i got terrible grades, like i just barely passed, and now i have a 3.5 GPA in uni with somewhat low effort. I meet so many people who did awful in high school and are now the most clever people in their major or make the coolest bachelor projects.
Many schools say they have holistic admissions and consider context but then reject a disproportionate number of low-income students that had less opportunities. Which is awful because low-income students can usually only afford top schools because they give the best financial aid. For example, you pay nothing to go to Rice if you make less that 65,000 but 40% of their students are in the top 5% income.
Just can't believe how colleges rejected you; it is their HUGE LOSS lol. Here you are now intellectually expanding our minds unlike normal college students😊
I am going to the school of my dreams: a tiny, liberal arts school in Pennsylvania that happens to have a high acceptance rate of about 65-70%. I went to high school in an extremely well-off and academically superior town, where if you didn't have a 4.5 GPA or 1560 SAT, you were stupid. I got mostly straight As in high school and got a really good SAT score, and chose my college for its superiority in my intended major, for which the program is one of the best, but my classmates continuously put me down because it wasn't a traditionally "good school." They seemed like they pitied me when I said where I was going, as if I couldn't get in anywhere else, rather than just wanting to go there. College admissions culture is extremely toxic and led to an unhealthy environment my senior year of high school, where everything became a competition, and an attitude that anything but an ivy was a "bad school."
really learning a lot from you... would love to see an update on personal finance! As a broke college student I have very little knowledge on what I should be doing financially lol
@@meijelly I know this is higher than some states, but in Washington (where I live) 12 is minimum wage. I don't think we're unique in that either, there are others that are the same or even higher I think.
There are currently 3 states with a minimum wage of $12: California, Massachusetts, and Washington. The only place with a higher minimum is Washington D.C. at $14. Twenty states still follow the national minimum wage of $7.25. I make just over $8.55 in Ohio. Of course, location does make a difference because the cost of living is going to be lower here than in California or Washington.
I'm African American and I went to a predominately black high school in the south that offered Honors/AP courses. My family wasn't really that into education (and we were low income), but all my life I'd been told I was one of the "smart ones" so I tried to do what smart kids do - which was try my best to take honors and AP classes. There was an application process that included test scores from middle school, an essay, and I forget what else. I tried my first time sophomore year, but my test scores were too low apparently. I genuinely wanted this opportunity because the teachers seemed to care more about education on the Honors/AP level when in regular they'd just give all the kids packets and tedious homework. I still to this day don't understand how students can't just elect to take a harder class and just prove themselves by succeeding. Why did they have to bring up one of 100 standardized tests I took in 8th grade when I didn't know what an AP class even was? I wanted to better my own opportunities and should have had the open chance to do so. I knew I could prove myself but was denied from doing so. Plus, almost ALL the student in honors/AP/Dual Credit courses were either the affluent black kids with parents familiar with the college system (mine were not), Asian kids, and white kids (also affluent and connected to the college system). Despite the school being majority black, I feel safe saying that ALL the non-black kids (and as I mentioned before, some of the more privileged black kids) at the school were either honors/AP students. They cliqued up all of the time and were entirely separate from the rest of the school until lunchtime (they always sat together then too). In my final two years of high school, I managed to talk my counselor getting me into about 4 honors/DC classes and loved it - I made above a B in all of them. Unfortunately my gpa had already taken the hit and I graduated with 2.8 gpa. Sad story.
this really brings back bad memories from my highschool. I remember my 8th grade english teacher telling us that if we didnt go to college, we would end up homeless drug addicts. that kind of pressure was put on us from so young, and stayed until i graduated. I struggled with a ton of mental health issues in school, because of my life situation and a lot because of the stress from school. I always felt pressured to take more ap courses, even though i could barely afford or pass them. i coulnt fluff up my applications with extracurricular because i was so suicidal and anxious i could barely talk to anyone. I couldn't afford to go to college straight away so im stuck at a dead end job, trying to make enough to at least move out and worry about education later. literally all my school ever did for me was make me more suicidal. omg plus, the way schools deal with kids with mental health issues. that would lowkey be a really good video topic cuz schools really fuck up in that area. im angry about school still even after i left lol
I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on the trending heritage DNA tests. I can see both their usefulness in some cases but also the dangers their hidding about shaaring our personal dna.
My high school offered no AP classes, not that I would have been taking them. My school just wouldn’t have enough students/teachers to fill classes. I definitely saw grade inflation at my school. We had 4 valedictorians in my graduating class and that should not be possible.
Thank you so much for making a video on this topic! As an incoming senior who is in the process of applying to multiple competitive schools, I often find myself thinking about the injustices of the system and the toll it has taken on my health. The stress of trying to be the "perfect student" resulted in a bunch of mental and physical health issues for me, and I ended up having to be hospitalized during both the 8th grade and sophomore year because of this. Over the last year I've realized that my well-being should be the priority, and although I still take mostly AP and IB classes, I've been making time to relax and focus on things that I enjoy (like baking, making music, and painting!). I wish it was easier to get the message across to students that in the grand scheme of things, this period of our lives does not solely determine our future success and happiness, and for the sake of our future selves, we need recognize when our competitiveness has become detrimental rather than beneficial. I really hope that your perspective helps at least one student realize this.
It's so weird how I can briefly remember taking that test for "gifted" students around the time I was in second grade and just what a big shift it did to how I valued my self-worth as a child? Like I'm 20 now and wonder just how much more different my life would've been if no one put that label on me at such a young age. I think the "gifted" title makes kids believe their value = their grades, and that's pretty terrifying when you think about it. I can remember doing the absolute most in high school because In my mind I NEEDED to get into a good college, while my peers who weren't in these challenging classes simply lived their lives and their value was more than what grades they got.
I did want to say that not every school weighs GPA the same! Students are compared within the context of their schools when it comes to admissions because schools (like mine) have REALLY WEIRD ways of weighting.
Yes! My school has a weird 4.5 scale, so whenever I compare my stats to people on youtube, I always felt bad, but in reality, there really isnt a way to compare
As a Canadian I feel there is alot less stress put on us for college/university admissions. It's sad how much stress is put on ppl at such a young age.
Ugh this is so true. My parents are both professors so even with a 4.5 GPA I always feel like I’m not doing enough. I’m going into my junior year and I’m so stressed about getting into an Ivy League
we all have pressure. I wish i had someone to give me that advice. If you come from a working class family with no degrees you will also have the weight on your shoulders of your family relying on you to succeed
@@sofiap.4744 Thanks! I wish I had more tips on dealing with the stress tbh. But I’d say 1) Always prioritize sleep, it makes a huge difference. 2) Pick a weird, quirky hobby. I’m a competitive rock climber and I think that definitely helped me stand out, plus climbing was an outlet for me to channel my stress. And 3) Start your essays early! I didn’t start my personal statement until a month before the deadline and it caused me a lot of extra stress. Good luck, I hope this helps!
I feel lucky, my high school has a program called 'running start' and basically it lets you take 2 free years of (community) college during your last 2 years of high school. You can substitute high school classes for college classes and get college credits while in high school while still using the same credit to graduate high school. My 2 older sisters are in running start, one graduated this year and the other is graduating next year. I'm planning to do running start with my best friend when the time comes, college is expensive and there is no way my parents could help all of my 6 siblings and I pay for it. I'm hoping that after I finish community college I can either go to culinary school or start working at a restaurant. It's all so scary and overwhelming, especially after my freshman year being cut short by the pandemic.
I'm white and I had a lazy-ish tiger mom. She is technically my step mom but my natural mom wasnt around much. They're both my mom but my Asian mom was a consistent part of my life. What I mean by lazy tiger is she had high expectations but it was more of a passive agressive sucess 'motivation' style. If I got an A, the response wasn't positive, it was " thats what you were supposed to do". The other things were super OCD scrutiny of everyday tasks like cleaning. I came out with extremely high preformance anxiety and am an underachiever. My brothers that are her natural children are the same. I wont repeat the cycle.
I remember wanting to be a “gifted child” ever since I was in elementary school. I remember being pressured to be the top student ever since the first grade. And it absolutely killed me on the inside that no matter how hard I tried, I was never able to reach that expected “gifted child” status and genuinely felt like a failure throughout my entire academic career because I could only be “average”.
So glad to be born in Switzerland. All the admission to a university requires is a Baccalaureate. And the semester fees are arround $800 And we have a sensational vocational education and training
Rani Priti Same in Germany it depends mainly on your a levels but there are other ways to get into that require for example that you have worked previously in the field you want to study. I would say the system is quite fair
The Aussie to university system is also quite different. We don’t have anything like AP courses, though I personally did do a program where I started uni while in yr 12, it was a very small program, not available to everyone. Also, our unis tend to only factor in grades and test scores (back when I was in high school we had OP scores which would place us in categories overall- with OP 1 being the highest). But they tend not to put so much emphasis on extracurriculars- because what difference does that make to the bachelor you’re doing? You also apply to unis for specific degrees, you don’t get in first and then decide. I overextended with the uni and school thing (mental illness plus only being 15), and I dropped out. But, after about ten years, I went back as a mature aged student, and I had a few Open university online courses under my belt. Our uni is expensive. My Law degree would be about $60k all up, but the government pays upfront, and you only repay when you reach a certain income level. Plus, most of our unis are great for distance learning, because we are such a big country, with some areas being massively spread out (that happens when you’re almost the size of the US, but with less than a tenth of the population). But because we do distance, it also makes it far more accessible for disabled students (like me- I can study from my bed, lectures are put online for everyone to watch, and as a disabled student, I can even do my tests in bed. They send out people to watch you take the test in your bedroom if need be. And I’ve done it before). So I think all in all, we are more flexible, and we don’t have quite the amount of pressure. But still, for those on the uni track in yr 12, getting a good OP can be extremely difficult, and put a lot of pressure on kids. And depending on what you want to do, it can matter a lot. If you want to get into human or veterinary medicine, you’ll need an OP not below a 3. Law is about a 3 or 4, depending. And better unis have higher cutoffs. Honestly, it’s so much easier to go do one thing else, do some online Open Uni courses, and get in that way.
@@katherinemorelle7115 I'm in year 12 right now in NSW, and things have changed a little concerning extracurricular stuff. There are unis that will give you extra ATAR points if you're school captain, prefect, NSW sports champion, etc. And everything is about how your subject scales, and what kind of subjects will drag down your ATAR and who ranks against you.
I live in Mexico but this kind of problems are still quite present, specially in private schools. Most of the "top notch" Highschools here give students a gigantic load of job that causes them stress, unhappiness, sleep depravation and more horrible things. The worst part is that a lot of teachers encourage this behavior, and even treat it as normal. I left one of these schools on my freshman year, primarily because of depression and stress, but my friends who stayed suffered a lot. A lot. It saddens me that they treat young kids, as young as 15 with this kind of behaviors and practiced that won't let them leave their lives. Also great video, I discovered your channel thanks to the MLM video you made, and I love your honest style!
Our public school didn’t offer any AP classes. So I signed up for 3 test (that were 2 hrs away) and studied for the ALL ON MY OWN. Rural American schools are just as disadvantaged as some urban schools.
Lol I'm in junior year of high school and a low income student in AP classes. Last year I was so worried about the test just because I was like if I fail I will have wasted my mother's prescious 90 bucks. I was literally feeling so horrible but then I was able to get it discounted for just 5 dollars and that took so much pressure off me. It was so funny because I was like is this how people with money feel all the time? They just don't have to worry about it? That's crazy.
While i went to a low income high school, they waived the ap test fee for everybody. They also implemented sat/act prep into our writing class curriculum so that everybody got it.
i wanna shout out those of us with immigrant parents who DID go to college in their home country, but still don’t understand how the system works here. We have to learn the ropes of the college process with our parents because college in their country is very different from the system here in America.
This makes me so sad! I went to an affluent public high school and graduated seven years ago. The pressure was real, but I've learned that those who burned themselves out from applying to colleges weren't successful in college. I was an active student in high school, but didn't burn myself out and ended up going to a community college my freshman year and went to a top state school from sophomore year to graduation. I was able to enjoy and succeed in college since I wasn't completely burned out from high school and it was totally worth it.
This was such an amazing video! This was very personal and relatable to me, I’ve had a learning disability ever since I was little. I’ve always been the one in my household who has always been creative, willing to take on challenges both in and out of school, the “different” one, and be willing to take risks to make the most out of my life. To seize every moment of my life! This philosophy of mine got me accepted into college. Not just a gpa, not just a test score, not just a course load. I am attending Illinois state university this fall to pursue English education. After my experience in high school, it’s very sad and shocking to see an academic unfairness for students. Especially for students with learning disabilities. The idea of people being born-smart, doing EVERYTHING your school offers, and getting into a good college ONLY based on test scores, AP, and gpa is so stereotypical and overrated. We don’t give students the opportunity to take challenging academics if they wish. We only give it to certain pigs in the pen and it’s mind-blowing. EVERY student should be given the opportunity to pursue something that is risky and challenging. THATS how we grow. Colleges don’t pay enough attention to students like myself, only certain pigs in the pen. The system is broken. Be a self-advocate! Stand up for what YOU want in life! Don’t let the corrupt system take away your dreams.
All of my friends throughout school were part of gifted programs. However, I was always put into special learning classes from I think 2nd or 3rd grade to 7th grade, so I was disconnected from them because of that. In elementary school, we were very close, but after we moved onto middle and high school, they sort of left me out of everything they did. I would try to hang out and they just said no and would hang out with each other, posting on social media about it. I'm not sure if their actions were because they just didnt like me or that their gifted program made them feel like they were all important because they got to take all of those fancy AP classes. Either way, those 'friends' made me feel extremely left out because I wasn't in their gifted program.
I get where you are coming from. Some people have that mentality when they go into gifted programs. I know when I went into my first honors class, there was a lot of people who looked down on me because I wasn't in the gifted classes before. But over time, people will learn that not everything is dictated by what classes you took in primary or middle school. For your situation, I would suggest getting better friends (If you haven't already). I would join clubs that correlate to things you like rather than academics. You'll find a lot of like minded people in places like that.
@@scaredstiff7176 I definitely will once I get into my university. I pretty much left high school my junior year (I mostly took college classes instead of a lot of high school classes.) I'm a junior in college instead of a freshman like all my friends from high school are. I'll be joining clubs and whatnot and making friends in my classes. I've already made a few thankfully.
I was a gifted kid in elementary school and them moved to a different middle school. They had a school for the gifted but my mom never took me to take that test so into high school I took the same classes as those kids, made the same grades and took the same test. And yet they all look down on me, I wasn't in their GIFTED middle school. They look at the other kids as less than.
In regard to this particular topic, I recommend the For Harriet video “why I failed out of Harvard”. Kim talks about the immense pressure she put on herself as a middle class black woman who was always told she was “the one” and who dreamed of going to Harvard. There’s plenty more to the story than just overextending herself- but isn’t there always? We never have just the one thing going on. And I personally relate, as someone who started uni while still in high school, and that was after skipping a grade. I overextended, and I had mental health problems and... I dropped out of high school and uni on the same day. I did eventually go back and study law at uni, but it took a long time- almost ten years. And it’s also true that the overachievers tend to also be perfectionists, and we also tend to have higher rates of mental illness. Which makes it so easy to overextend! I think it’s something that needs to be talked about, because when you’re young, all you feel is the pressure to push more and harder- but we should be helped with counselling and therapy, because we are at risk. We need help to not fall apart when we lose our perfect GPA after two years of law school (yep, this one is personal, even as an adult I couldn’t handle it, though to be fair- I already was dealing with mental illness. That was one thing that did not go away after my teen years). And I mean- it is somewhat understandable right? Once that GPA is gone, you can never get it back. I don’t know what the American system is, but my uni measured up to 7.0, which you only had if you got 7s for every single unit (7 being high distinction, and the highest mark possible). So when I got a distinction, I dropped to a 6.7, and I had a breakdown. The pressure is real!!!
I’m a comment as I go, and in regard to who gets in to what school, Kim from For Harriet also has a great video that she did after the Aunt Becky scandal where she says that she saw exactly how things work. Like I said earlier- she went to Harvard. And as she says, while middle class and lower students have to be brilliant to get into an Ivy League, if you’re rich, you only have to be mediocre. It’s the private prep schools that inflate grades and give better education, the parents that pay for private tutors, the legacy kids whose parents went there. It’s an entirely different world when you’re rich. And it also ties in to another video I saw this morning by Christo Aivalis, about how low performing rich kids still end up much better off than high performing poor kids. It’s better to be rich than smart.
in Denmark you just apply with your grades lol. I got into one of Europe's top engineering universities (DTU) with my very mediocre high school grades.
@Intensive Purposes Copenhagen has a huge gentrification and expensive housing problem like what the San Francisco Bay Area is going through right now. A lot of people don't know or don't even talk about it on mass media. A lot of single, studio-renter people even commute over the bridge from Malmo, Sweden into the city for work. For tourism, it's fine. But if you live there, it adds up. (Source: Two of my cousins have lived and currently live in Denmark for military relocation and work respectively.)
I graduated high school with over a 4.0, over a year of college, worked 40 hours a week since I turned 16 and moved out of my parents house the second semester of my senior year. I got a full ride to college but I had and have pretty much no life outside of work/school :/ definitely shouldn’t have had to do all of that.
Thank you for this. Trying to compete with my peers and not doing as well gave me so much anxiety and severe depression, to the point where I just stopped caring and my meds stopped being effective.
overachieving in school ruined my life. i’ve always been an aggressive overachiever, spreading myself incredibly thin with school work, extra circulars, theatre and sport. don’t get me wrong, there were a bunch of other environmental factors including on going mental health conditions, but essentially at the end of year 10 my body couldnt take it anymore, and issued a psychosomatic cry for help. i developed a chronic pain condition, and this disability has forced me to drop out of all activities, attend school part time, postpone my highschool graduation by a year and go on medication with various harmful side effects. so,,,,uh,,,,not saying this is going to happen to you or anything, but these kinds of conditions disproportionately effect teenage girls with a high achieving and anxious personality type ://
Thank you for this video. I used to be this overachieving, not sleeping enough kid. It all ended for me with mental breakdown, and a failure in university because of my mental state. Still, I'm glad I did have a breakdown as it was much needed to realize life is not about academics and that grades only, and that those things do not guarantee success in life. Just wish I did not have to realize it in such a painful way. Now I am hundreds times happier and I finally have a sense of purpose and dreams that are MY OWN. I'm sure your videos will do many good for young people
I got a 3.6 GPA in my senior year of high school, but I got suicidal after finding out my ACT was a 22. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. It was horrible.
I think it is only my school who does this and I think it’s different because it’s a charter high school, but dual enrolling in our nearest community college gives us an even higher weighted GPA. So if you take a college class and get an A in it, we get 10 points added to our weighted GPA! And I think this is an opportunity given to us by our school because my school only has 5 AP classes available to us, so I’ve been taking advantage of the college classes that are offered. It’s better than taking AP classes honestly since not only do we get even more credit quicker but for me especially it is less stressful!! You spend a whole school year taking an AP class when a college class lasts only one season/ one semester. It’s crazy because I feel like AP classes are even more stressful than actual college classes when AP classes are supposed to be designed as difficult as college classes.
27:20 If that isn’t a word-for-word description of me at age 16, I don’t know what is. I had to go back to therapy in my jr/sr years of high school because of my disproportionate sense of self-worth and academic achievement. Everybody told me I had “potential”, but I struggled so badly (thanks, ADHD and turbulent home life) that I believed it was because I wasn’t trying hard enough to stay on the same absurdly high academic level as my friends. I relapsed into a major depressive episode shortly after starting college when this mentality hit me again, and I didn’t have my parents or therapist with me at university to help me snap out of it. This toxic mentality doesn’t just affect teens in high school, it follows us into college and early adulthood.
madgirlmuahaha This is really similar to my experience of school (I’m in my last year of school in the uk). I’m also ADHD as well as ASD and when i was younger I didn’t do particularly well at school academically but I occasionally did do well in a piece of work, and was told i had ‘potential”. This was true in a way as i did do very well in school for a time, but then it got way more difficult. I now feel a bit like I’ve failed those who believed in my potential.
The way we treat GPA scores reminds me of a hypothetical situation in a cinema, where all of the people seating in the first row suddenly stand up to see the film more clearly, which forces the people from the next row to stand up as well, and so on. By the end everyone is standing in said cinema, but also everyone sees the screen equally good - the difference is they're all standing.
Hey Tiffany, I love your videos a lot, they're always well thought out and interesting. However that I've noticed that you always second guess your points or undermine your opinions by saying "but I dunno" at the end of them. Please don't underestimate yourself. If you saying something, whether it has facts to back you up, you should always be confident in what you're saying. If something wrong was said you can always correct it later, no biggie. I've realised a lot of women do this and it's starting to be frustrating.
I’ve seen studies proving your exact point- that women tend to speak using words like “sorry”, or “maybe” or “I’m not sure”, to soften what they are saying. It’s internalised sexist gender roles. Hopefully we can move away from it.
I always start sentences with "I think" and "maybe" and finish with "I'm not sure". Its true it's a terrible habit and I feel like I get less respect in my work place because of it
Please do a video on the gifted and talented program. I'm currently about to go to eighth grade and it'll be my 5th year of being in it and I really wanna hear your opinion on the pressures and expectations and how we're constantly being scolded when honors/"regular" classes do better than us.
Lemme tell you, those classes were NEVER any different than the normal classes in my experience I have been in gifted and honors classes since i was in 5th grade, and ill be a senior in a month... When i went to normal classes for a year, it was the exact same stuff, just a tad slower and more relaxing for my stressed lil brain.
Honestly, my 5th grade teacher did a good job of explaining how gifted classes are barely any different than regular classes it's honestly all about "expectations" we have to meet.
Calling someone 'the full package' is the same line of thinking as calling someone 'damaged goods'. I freaking hate it. People aren't products.
1.2k likes and no comments?
@@smilesxo06 The comment said it perfectly.
@@henryanderson6752 yeah but normally people would discuss the comment but I guess your right
People have value though
@@هدي-ه8ظ sure, but we arent fucking products being sold in a god damn walmart
My childhood friend/academic rival ended up being valedictorian of my high school class. During her grad speech, she talked about how she didn't have many friends and that the library was her home. She ended up going to Berkeley, and when I asked about how she was doing, it turned out she was doing the same thing. No social interaction whatsoever. And she was super lonely. She ended up speaking at her college graduation ceremony too, and it was the same exact speech about not having friends or having a social life in general. She just spent the whole time studying, and she wasn't even joking about it. She looked genuinely sad.
oh noooo i feel bad but i just wonder how she didnt get fed up with it. i would be so frustrated and just goof off for a day not caring about tomorrow even if its just for a short moment
I know this is over a year later but how is she doing now?
Sell that is the life of the Nerds but those bunch are the ones that create amazing innovations to benefit the whole of Society.
How is she doing now?? Hopefully better than before
*also no one is talking about where the problem lies: COLLEGES ARE RUN LIKE BUSINESSES*
colleges are businesses
Naomi Wanders they’re all just trying to take our money
Can you elaborate a bit on how? Do you mean like their purpose is to make a profit, or that the classroom setting is more like a business setting?
@@luciabee my college has claimed that they operate on a break-even business model, but that has not stopped them from raising tuition by $1000+ with no additional aid over the past 3 years that I've been attending. they never say WHY they're raising tuition, only that the rate is consistent with past tuition hikes. like wtf??? I go to a private college so not sure if its the same for state schools. I also learned that the chairs of the board for my school get a fat bonus every year but this past year they decided to use it for a gift for the school which is great and all, but its not something they do every year or even often. the problem is they shouldn't even be getting a bonus at all. that money should be put back into the school on things used for the students
LuciaBiggles i think one of their main goals to make profits
Student: I'm the top of my class, well known with my teachers and peers, I help run my families business, I started an organization to help with poverty stricken areas after natural disasters leave them struggling, NASA has approved me to be the first human on Mars and I-
Colleges: Yeah but according to your third grade teacher, one of your friends made a joke about Anna's hair and you laughed. So... :/
“But you saw what they were doing to Tyler and you did nothing!”
“Because I was over ON THE BENCH.”
And then my dad said, “Just explain to me this. How are you better than a Nazi?”
-John Mulaney
HEY! stop making jokes about my hair!
That’s not how it works
@@robbiesilverwolf its a joke
@@berkay1773 point is when people say colleges have ridiculously high standards they are talking about the over priced colleges that lie to you that it matters what college you went to
Former "gifted child" here... I never "lived up to my potential". But I'm okay with it.
I'm right there with you. So much "intelligence" but I don't "do anything" with it. :P
MOOD
You are living your potential right now, you are worth it and you don't need to prove yourself based on expectations. What you are is enough!
Amy Living In Chrysalis same! I live in Australia and faced immense disappointment from teachers and family when I decided not to apply for university, currently working as an accounts assistant and studying with a TAFE (not sure what the US equivalent is) and I’m so happy with my choice. If I want to go to university I’ll do it later. Will never push the narrative that a university degree is the only way to be successful.
@@ladysuznuk at least here, it's a trap. I'll NEVER hee able to pay off my student loans short of a mega-jackpot lottery win!
My 17 year old daughter was labeled gifted in 1st grade and it has haunted her since then. She never feels like she’s “living up” to what she should be capable of. We are not the type of family to push anything on our kids aside from morals, so it’s all self inflicted with a large dose of guilt piled on by her school. I’d love to hear more about your experience.
I was labeled "gifted" in second grade and it just didn't bother me much. It was a small town and there were many people in the program so I didn't feel special or anything. Then I moved to another country and now I'm back but in a different state but there isn't a program like that, at least not that I know of. So I guess it neither had a positive nor negative effect on me
I’m 16 and have been I the GT (gifted and talented) classes my whole life. I’m currently ranked 2nd in my grade for my school.
I have been taken from 4th grade classes to be put into 5th grade ones and skipping over whatever I should’ve learned for an entire year. I’m taking AP Calculus and still don’t know how to divide fractions or my fast facts. Every summer other gt kids ask what you will be doing the summer. I’m talking internships at Johns Hopkins university or engineering camps. Every end of the quarter you stay up until 4:00 am to finish projects and work you never had time to get to then wake up at 6:00 am for school. I take college classes on top of my gt and ap because I don’t have time to take classes such as gym in my schedule. My parents NEVER pushed me into anything but rather tried to talk me out of harder classes. The school system will try to push you into harder classes to brag how many kids are taking AP classes and compete with other schools.
GT culture is so toxic but the problem is that teachers treat kids in standard classes like they aren’t even teenagers but toddlers. You don’t care about your mental or physical health when you have projects due. I like to think that I don’t care about my grades more than myself but I have had mental breakdowns when I got a B. We live off of coffee and complaining about how much we don’t want to do this shit anymore but keep doing it.
I hope this helped.
I was labelled gifted in 3rd grade and absolutely failed in the gifted programs in my district. I was getting C's in grade 5 and it shot my confidence in the foot. I also struggled with not living up to the expectations that my teachers and my mom placed on me even at the age of 10. It led to a full breakdown at age 15 that I'm still recovering from.
I managed to get my grades up via intense internal pressure on myself during my last 1 and 1/2 years in high school and after I had that graduation with honours and acceptance to university I burnt out for my first year of uni and have ended up with remedial classes for my next and second year of uni all because of the internal and external pressure from that gifted label.
I was in the same situation as your daughter. Schools and teachers do tend to guilt trip gifted students if they're not excelling in literally everything.
Is your daughters name Scarlet? Lol
The tragedy of this is is that does not stop after high school. In fact, it some cases it gets worse because now you are trying to deal with a college load while dealing with internships, and joining clubs, homework and graduating with honors so you can land an elite job post college because for some reason they expect you to have years of experince right after college. God forbid if you have to work full time to support yourself in school. And let's not even start with the ethical implications of internships. It's more like slave labor.
@Cassandra Pentaghast I see where you are coming from, but for me, since my parents can't help me out at all with school, I have to work a full time job and jump through non stop hoops to qualify for honors, scholarships, internships, homework, all while working full time. For me, it is just a continuation of high school BS.
Unpaid internships are really awful, I feel like there could be a video about that. I had three internships during college and with all of them I just did all the routine errand stuff, nothing that would actually be pertaining to my major. So, on paper, I have "experience" but when it comes to actual skills, there are none. It leads to great insecurity during job applications, because you feel somewhat inadequate or don't meet the expected criteria
So TRUE! I'm applying for jobs fresh out of college right now, and every single ENTRY-LEVEL position I have applied for requires 3-4 years of experience in the field! They also request Master's degrees a lot of the time, too. Can someone explain to me how that could be possible for anyone at an entry level?!
Most unpaid internships are illegal based on Dept of Labor standards, they just don't get enforced. If the focus of the internship isnt educative for the intern or the duties can be replaced by a salaried employee, its technically illegal.
Who said you had to join clubs? You just put more stress on yourself if you're going through all this.
The expectations are insane. Society acts like if you don't have a high gpa and are "well rounded", your life is over. It wasn't until after high school, that I learned specifics about trade school and starting businesses.
Takes a serious toll on the mental health too.
what does "well rounded" mean anyhow
@@malarkeylaboratories3658 ridiculously high test scores, a gpa over 4.5, and 72 different ECs including sports, clubs, charities, volunteering, part-time jobs, etc., that's all. :)
oh, and don't forget having the ability to answer and write the countless essay questions asking you 800 words on your passions outside of school and ECs. (as if those are even physically possible to have)
@@user-dd8bh2ou3u i really hope you are exaggerating
@@malarkeylaboratories3658 i feel like it may have started off as something well intentioned, like "don't spend all your time on coursework, you should do other things like take up a sport, volunteer, join a club, etc" but it turned into "you have to not only excel in your coursework, but also all those other things in order for me to take you seriously".
the nine dislikes are from harvard, dartmouth, stanford, cornell, duke, brown, princeton, pen state and yale
And maybe Pensacola Christian College which is a whole other crazy institution. Not as much competitive as restrictive
they all made second accounts lol!
UPenn...
Eva Schenker she meant UPenn I’m pretty sure
i think you mean upenn
this is so critical. high school and college start an unhealthy "hustle" focused life. it's not one focused on happiness or joy, but on monetary contribution
Literally. I have always loved school and learning, but before I went to high school, I simply wanted to be an artist and major in history, philosophy, or literature :( Just for fun truly, not necessarily for a "high-paying" job.
@ me from the future! I studied philosophy and classical studies. I loved every second of it. I’m now preparing to go to law school and get a masters in ancient Mediterranean civs. It’s been hard at times but do what you love!!!!!!
Okay, so I'm from Germany and it's such a fucking concept to me that you literally have to pay to take a test. Like, I don't understand how anyone could see an opportunity to make money in that.
I live in the states and I've been wanting to go to an international school in germany or somewhere in central Europe because it wouldn't be the death of me. My family is pretty poor and the tests alone would hurt us financially. I'm a sophomore and I'm already burnt out from American education. So many people say I'm ungrateful for the "opportunities I've been given" but I seriously can't see myself living, working, or going to school here much longer.
@@alexusmorrison4195
I know, I've been thinking about this for a while now, and I think I'm really going to pursue it if I can't get a scholarship here. There are so many more opportunities for me, and my preferred major (Anthropology) abroad than I do here, and at a reasonable price in comparison to the US, where I would be spending myself into a corner of debt that I would realistically, be fifty by the time I actually pay off.
@@alexusmorrison4195 you could likely get a fee waiver in your income bracket
Lol you can only take the abitur once.
Welcome to America where corporate scum will privatize any and everything.
I always want to encourage people to go to community college first because it saves so much money and you can still transfer to a 4 year college after. You can easily get accepted into community college so then you don’t have to worry about all those expectations while you’re in high school. I never took the SAT or ACTs and I didn’t take any IB or AP classes because I simply didn’t want the stress. I graduated high school with a 3.6 GPA which I thought was really good (especially compared to some of my peers) and got my AA at community college with a 3.8. Now I’ve been accepted into the University of Washington as a transfer student. I can’t begin to imagine how someone would get over a 4.0 and the toll it would take. I feel blessed that my parents were always proud of me and didn’t pressure me to be a “perfect” student. Not saying community college is for everyone, but it worked amazing for me and many other people I know!
In California, you’re guaranteed a spot a university or state school if you graduate/ transfer. You also get priority to schools you apply to
Hey, I’ll be applying to UW this year! Question, you said you never took the SAT’s or ACT’s and went to community college first, I’m currently a senior in high school and am in running start. I’m in my second year and I still haven’t taken my SAT’s yet but am debating about doing them or not because I’ve been confused on if I even need it since I will technically be a transfer student and be in my junior year by the time I’d get there. Do you think if I just focus on getting a good college GPA that I could get in even without doing the SAT?
I’m also a full-time student and will have my AA by the time I graduate but I’ve just been stressing about my SAT’s and have changed the date twice because I’ve been super busy and I thought I should ask you since you’re going to the exact same school I want to go to 😊
Marc Myron That’s awesome you did running start! I’m pretty sure as long as you got your AA, they shouldn’t require your SAT or ACT scores when you apply. For me, they just needed my college transcript and high school transcript. I had a 3.8 GPA in community college and a 3.6 for high school and I got in just with that! I’m going to the UW Bothell location instead of Seattle so I’m not sure if they have different requirements (I doubt it). But just to be sure, I would recommend calling or emailing an academic advisor or admissions specialist to ask. Good luck!
@@hi727lol I'm in the same situation. So I was suggested to apply as a freshman and still took the SATs. My SAT score made my application stronger, so it helped me
dont forget that even WITH AP classes: many colleges want you to have a super high UNWEIGHTED GPA and many non-public colleges do not accept 3 scores on tests, some require 4s or even 5s
aka: AP classes are a waste of time :(
I know its ass, I was told that theres a cap on AP tests theyll accept too, so now some of the tests I've taken wont even mean shit to them
@@eira839 You'll be glad you took them when you get to college (if your college accepts them). I took one AP class and two dual enrollment classes (which are much better because I didn't have to take a test at the end of the year) and now I don't have to take as many classes each semester, which not only saves me time, but also saves me money
A Person
At my high school, students don't have a choice in whether or not they take AP classes. If the class can be AP, you are definitely taking it as AP. The school will pay for your tests, which is cool, but studying for 4 AP tests as well as the SAT and ACT at the same time, WHILE keeping up with your classes in Junior Year is kinda stressful. Thank goodness I don't have a life that would interfere with my studies! [Somebody save me!]
If they even accept your dual credit classes too...esp for private schools
I was so freaking stressed at the end of my senior year I was legitimately suicidal. Between the pressure of keeping up with my grades, working after school, college and SAT prep classes (which my mom worked extra hours to pay for- isn’t that a whole new level of guilt) and extra curriculars I was absolutely drowning.
I felt like I was always behind. I thought that Everyone was doing better than me, everyone was getting scholarships, everyone was getting accepted to better schools etc. My immigrant parents made me feel like every decision I made was the wrong one and I could be doing better. It got to the point where I was crying myself to sleep almost every night, having panic attacks over the smallest things, and developed an eating disorder.
I’m now going to a college that wasn’t my first choice and you know what? That’s okay. In fact it’s more than okay, it might not be an Ivy League or even #1 in the state but I’ve learned to be happy where I am because if I continued going down the path I was headed down I wouldn’t be here right now.
Ummm couldn't you just idk drop the extracurriculars?
@@Yvp13
Ik this comments a year old and yea they couldve...and then what? Look bad in the colleges perspective because they didnt keep consistent with their extracurriculars? Its unfair but those are the expectations.
The moment I realized the acceptance system is completely f***** was when the second ranked student in my graduating class was rejected from a top school in California. If anyone reading this doesn’t get into their top pick/s remember, it’s not you it’s the system. You’re worth more than what school does or doesn’t accept you.
Thanks I neeeded to hear this. Now that I didn’t get accepted into a college I applied too
The GPAs I've found are meaningless at actually predicting student success. As someone who teaches college freshman biology, the high school GPAs of my students each year are on average going up, but the quality of work has they produce has gone down. The students get so caught up in checking these boxes and overworking themselves to meet impossible standards, that they miss out on learning and understanding the material. They get so hyper-competitive and obsessed with doing everything by the book and making sure everything is perfect for med school applications in the future, that they immediately shut down if something didn't go exactly to plan. There's too much of an emphasis on quantity of activities that the students lose the ability and the time necessary to focus and learn things deeply, and GPAs get padded by the high schools themselves to make up for this, so the newer classes look better on paper, but are coming in less prepared every year. I teach at a large public state school, so I only imagine it's even worse at more competitive colleges.
I had a terrible high school gpa I got Ds and even Fs. I am now a phd candidate.
THIS!!! I removed my videos on my statistics as a college vlogger / student accepted to an ivy league school because I realized how toxic the culture was and how, by making those videos, I was perpetuating it. Even one of my best friends at college told me how her dad would compare her to me through my videos before we even met. It's toxic for everyone, parents and kids.
I've watched your videos. Your ability to reflect on this topic AND respond compassionately in a way that is aligned with your values is what makes you successful. Well done! Take care of yourself and keep showing love to your community♥️
Damn that’s messed up that the dad did that. :PPP I would feel bad if my parents did that
Dude I love your vids! And as I study for the SAT on my own to get a steep point-increase, videos like yours and tiffanyferg's ground me and keep me from going into the deep end this year :)
Hey Joshco didn’t expect to see you here
heyitsjoshco [Josh Ocampo] good for you👏👏👏
I'm a high school senior, and one of the most toxic things about the college admissions process is one's class rank. A top university in my state will automatically accept the top 6% of students in the graduating class. This has lead a seriously unhealthy behavior of comparing class rank (which is based on weighted GPAs) between students and a ramped-up sense of competition- even between friends
This happened at my school as well, It got so bad tot he point our teachers don't tell us our class ranking
Yeah I kinda hate the texas system cause some of my friends who were sub 6 (like 7-10) just got flat out rejected. And some of the 6% kids didn’t even get their major!!?
Yes! I hate that. I remember in high school many students would ask each other what was their class rank as if we are defined just by one number. It’s so unhealthy.
Knew this was Texas as soon I saw the bit about the 6%. The competition over class rank was especially bad at the high school I went to, too. The graduating class was more than 700.
And since I was in the AP/dual credit environment, I'd hear people comparing their class ranks all the time. They even asked for mine when I ran for office in one of the activities I was in, which I found unnecessary.
This is exactly why I decided to go to community college and it was probably the best decision I've ever made. I remember senior year they put so much pressure on college admissions and maintaining a high gpa that was unattainable but two years later here I am debt free, chilling and transferring in the spring as a junior. 🙌
That's the way to do it! That's what I'm doing too. So much less stressful, especially if it's a smaller technical/community college.
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Exactly!
Yes, that is so smart! I went to an incredibly affordable school as well (not community, but very heavily subsidized), and I believe my education was of just as good a quality as any other school. Now, when talking about networking and connections, obviously, you can't beat those Ivy Leagues, but when it comes purely to the education aspect, I believe you can get a great one at tons of places. I think the whole "top-tier school or bust" attitude is completely unnecessary.
Same! And if you can get a job and save up a little it’s so nice knowing that you have that cushion
I skipped college and went straight to a trade school for ultrasound (cardiac and vascular)about 18 years ago... best decision I made. College is not for everyone and that’s OK.
How
I honestly wish apprenticeships and trade schools had been more of a thing when I left school (or I’d been told about them) 20 odd years ago. As much as I liked college, I was pushed into it by my dad and felt I could only do certain courses rather than what I actually wanted to do.
PLEASE make a video on being a “gifted kid” and the repercussions of that identity omfg
yesss
here. for. it. Please Tiffany!
Yes omg! Are group projects more like you carrying the weight projects because you're the "smart one"? Or is that just my school?
Frrrrr had my first breakdown at 14 and dropped out of school all together at 17, was too insecure to even get my GED until I was twenty. A lot of things can go wrong when that kind of pressure is put on a kid
@@parishayes2075 at a certain point I started demanding teachers let me work on my own because I didn't feel it was fair. Of course some things needed a group, but those activities were always the kind that everyone HAS to participate, somehow (dissecting a frog, doing a skit in health, etc). It happens everywhere
In my school, and I think in Austria in general, there isn't that much pressure. Sure, you gotta graduate, but you don't need extracurriculars and that kinda stuff to get into university (we don't have college). The unis make you take tests which vary from uni to uni. Also university isn't expensive. It's either for free or about 300-400$ a year.
I am so glad I don't have to put up with this kind of BS. We don't even have AP's and I still don't understand GPA's. Also, who tf PAYS for a test?! That sounds so stupid.
I also live in Austria and the pressure depends probably on in which school you are going to. I attend high school for chemistry (HTL). Even the 'gifted' students struggle to do all the stuff that we are supposed to do and to get good grades.
But with the rest I completely agree. If I compere the educational system to the USA, I'm really happy to live in Austria and be able to afford education.
Susi H 400 dollars Jesus Christ my state college with scholarships is around 20,000 dollars a year
Wha-
$46k/year for my basic private school
I feel this soo much because I just graduated high school. I had a nearly perfect gpa, took biology AND organic chemistry at a local university in senior year, I had a 34 on my ACT and I was a National Merit finalist all while doing track. I had so many breakdowns and it got soo much worse when i got rejected from my first choice and waitlisted at my next two choices
My graduation finals cost me a piece of my soul aswell, I feel with you
I had a high GPA and a 35 act, international science fair and varsity athletics and got rejected from all of my “reach” schools and ended up staying home for school at my local university. And after watching my friends at other institutions, I’m so grateful that it worked out this way. I feel like my local school supports me and I feel at home here. I’ve been able to thrive! You never know what will happen. And no matter what it is, you’ll be okay
overachieving in school ruined my life. i’ve always been an aggressive overachiever, spreading myself incredibly thin with school work, extra circulars, theatre and sport. don’t get me wrong, there were a bunch of other environmental factors including on going mental health conditions, but essentially at the end of year 10 my body couldnt take it anymore, and issued a psychosomatic cry for help. i developed a chronic pain condition, and this disability has forced me to drop out of all activities, attend school part time, postpone my highschool graduation by a year and go on medication with various harmful side effects. so,,,,uh,,,,not saying this is going to happen to you or anything, but these kinds of conditions disproportionately effect teenage girls with a high achieving and anxious personality type ://
I’m sorry :(
I feel this! I put myself through hell junior senior year just to have a tiny chance of getting accepted and it really hurt when I got rejected from my dream school. I felt like I had wasted the last four years of my life.
I appreciate you addressing how socioeconomic factors can affect what type of pressure/stress you experience as a HS student and I really related to your experience of going to a good school (I went to private) but not having the knowledge and resources that my more affluent peers had.
My parents immigrated to the U.S when they were in their 20s and had no knowledge of the U.S college application process. Ultimately it was up to me to figure a lot of those things like financial aid and ACT/SAT test taking while my peers could go to their parents or siblings for advice/aid. One aspect that I think is a huge privilege in the college application process is the ability to travel to visit different schools around the country. I had peers flying or taking road trips during the weekend to see schools on the East/West Coast and my family did not have the financial means to take me anywhere outside of Illinois.
As a European person, I cant stop wondering about how bizarre the American school system is. It seems to have zero focus on actual education, but all the focus on the money. No wonder so many Americans think university is unnecessary....
Kateřina Mudrová American school is incredibly stressful I don’t know about European schools but there’s so much pressure coming from every angle
@@jasonrask4085 no
yes it seems absolutely unnecessary...i feel like jn italy where i live school is pretty stressful and it’s difficult to get top grades in the final exams, but then for like 99% of italian unis they don’t care about the grades as much as an entrance exam that will determine itself if you get in or not
Im from Austria and i feel like the unis care more about how u actually do in school and not about what you do outside of school with clubs and stuff but to be considered 'good' u only have to have about a 2.0 average (in Austria 1 is the best, 5 lowest and u pass with everything better than 5) And to get into uni u just have to be average (about 3.0) only some courses require very good grades (like law and medical stuff) idk just thought id share that
I totally agree, if you dont do a lot of sports and clubs and volunteering it doesn't really matter what your grades are 🤦♀️
When you compare this to the information in the book Kids These Days about how colleges are spending less and less money on professors and quality teachers and more on administration, fancy buildings and sports programs and it really makes no freaking sense. More and more students are being required to reach ever higher standards yet the quality of the education they receive is decreasing. As is the monetary pay off for education, with jobs following the trend of schools and requiring higher education that was never previously needed for those jobs, but for little or no increase in pay. So graduates are working harder to get into college, spending more on college, getting less quality education for it, and making less money with that education. It's completely and utterly nuts.
@@tiffanyferg Exactly! Yet the need to have a college degree for a decent paying job is going up, even though the quality of education is going down. It's become a system in which the illusion of higher education standards is more important than the actual quality of the education. It almost seems manufactured to cater to the wealthy who can afford all the special classes, the testing, the extra curriculars, not to mention a little bribe here and there just to get the name of a fancy college on their kid's resume.
The generic 4-year college degree is the world’s most expensive participation award.
If you don’t have a plan for your major and what kind of career you want to pursue after you get that major, you’re just throwing your money away. If there’s any doubt as to whether or not you’re ready for college... DON’T GO! It’s that simple. Get a job. Join the military. Go to trade school.
I’m a “formerly gifted” student who dropped out of an elite engineering program after two months because I wasn’t mature enough to handle the pressure and responsibilities. I dropped out of college altogether a year later and started working as a home care aide.
I’m back in school now, I have more years of maturity under my belt and I have a clear long-term path ahead with my intended Nursing major.
My brother floundered around for a year after he graduated, he took some college classes but he wasn’t ready for university. Nobody at our private school talked with him about alternatives to the typical 4- year university. He joined the Marines, and he’s flourishing.
If university is the right path for you, go for it. But college is a means to an end, it shouldn’t be a goal in and of itself. We need to make sure high school kids are fully aware of all the career-oriented options available to them after graduation, not just university.
As a Med School dropout who had to deal with severe depression/suicidal thoughts for years and is about to start a degree in Translation being happier than ever, I 100% agree. Take your time, get your priorities straight and never stop learning. You are your only competition.
The fact is not everyone should go to college. Pushing everyone to go to college is why colleges are so competitive these days. Colleges like you said are means to an end. Military programs and trade school should be highly advertised and less looked down upon. This would take pressure off of universities and the students who feel pushed into them.
I kind of believe the inverse? I have an English degree and I'm going to grad school for English Literature soon. I went to be educated and know everything there is about books. While I do eventually want to be a professor or author I also recognize that those careers are few and far between and not necessarily always the ends of getting my degree. I think education should be about intellectual curiosity in some cases. I also fully believe if you want a job and that's all, it's important to see if a degree is even required ie. trade school, etc. I found too many of my peers in my classes were unengaged and learning absolutely nothing because they thought in the end they'd win a piece of paper and go straight into a perfect job. Sorry bud, an English Literature degree doesn't translate into much, you better be here because you love books.
The Beautiful Little Fool I totally get where you’re coming from. People shouldn’t be half-assing college just to get that piece of paper, there has to be some sort of motivation beyond that. I needed to get out of the academia bubble to find my motivation, and now that I’m back in school I’m engaged and driven to succeed. I can totally respect folks like you who pursue subjects out of love for academia, but I’ve met too many people who are just trying to check off boxes for an “easy degree”.
This is encouraging! I've wanted to return for a Healthcare Administration degree for more years than it will take me to earn it, so I feel great about my level of commitment and I know I'll use every bit of information in the career I've been planning for myself for years now, but I worry about whether I'll still be a terrible student since I always was. It means a lot to read a story from another "gifted kid" (personally I identify as "severely gifted" lol) who dropped out of their earlier higher ed attempts and went into trades (I went straight into healthcare as well) and now has a healthy relationship with going to school!
My school’s valedictorian took all the AP classes offered at our school (16 classes) got an A in all and was still rejected from the school she wanted to go. But she did apply at MIT so that’s probably why
wow this sounds like good news for me lmaooo, I'm doing 3 AP Tests this may 2020 (self study) and am a junior. Im planning on doing more next year, but if she got rejected from MIT I don't know how im ever going to suit the part
I graduated HS with an AA, got in the 90th percentile for SAT, was a club president, worked a couple jobs, and got rejected by every Ivy League.
@@chrispham4347 how did you get an AA in HS?
@@musfiramohamed6322 There’s programs in my area that allow me to take college classes in replacement for high school classes. Only a small fraction get an AA. This program is rather rare
@@chrispham4347 i don’t know why you’re saying 90th percentile like that’s some insane Ivy score cuz I know for a fact that low 1400’s is still 99th percentile. Don’t mislead people by hiding your actual SAT score behind a percentile
*sees title*
Me, a high school senior: this is gonna be good
ok mood
Mood af, I’m so stressed about my future
OOF yea 😭
Me: *college junior in debt* 😬
Same, but as an incoming high school freshman.
I think we should also talk about how cheating is so rampant in our schools. Because students are forced to get high grades ALL the time, they think they have no choice but to cheat.
I love learning and I am ambitious, but I am sick of the idea that you have to check certain boxes in order to 'prove' you are committed to education. It feels sometimes like there is a never ending list of things you are expected to do...
And the list is a secret which everyone who is admitted claims to know even though their lists are different. It just seems like a lucky dip to me.
I get this esp. bein a person that just likes learning (and doesn’t want to be a teacher)
Just got a deferral from yale... honestly perplexed. I’m the valedictorian of my class, captain of sports 2 teams, in all ap’s, almost perfect SAT and subject test scores, run charity clubs, have won both science and writing awards, had an amazing interview at yale, had an internship over the summer at yale, and conducted my own scientific research and received awards for it. Like what more could I possibly do? Give them my right arm and my soul?
o. fass deferred isn’t rejected tho!!
You need to “donate to their library” if you know what I mean.
i hate how hard it is to get privileged people to understand this. people with privilege don't want to know that they're privileged cause they want to feel like them and their peers are better and when you take that away from them, they get defensive.
I feel like it's also their brains hearing "these people have it harder" as "you didn't work hard". It might make them feel that the person is dismissing their possible hard work, which obviously isn't the intention, but when people focus more on how the argument reflects on them rather than on the people it's actually about they tend to get defensive
I think people are generally just frustrated that they arent all on an equal playing field. If that were the case, the world would make simple sense and let people advance with merit. (Some people would want to be able to buy merit and would be frustrated that they couldn't, but I really think most people are just annoyed that the results aren't all that matter when they often have nothing to do with their own circumstances, which are used to gauge their overall value.)
But an equal opoortunity merit based system simply isnt reality, and that causes wierd and unpredictable (and also seemingly unfair) dynamics for people in various kinds of privilege, or even lack thereof. It's just hard to cope with that, especially being so young and not knowing all that much, on either end of the spectrum.
Yeontan's Eyebrows That’s exactly what it is. People can recognize that their circumstances might benefit them more, but when people call out others’ privilege, they do it in a way that’s almost derogatory to the privileged person, so the privileged person gets defensive. It makes it sound like it’s a bad thing to be privileged, and like privileged people don’t work hard. Everyone should work hard and be proud that they do, but everyone should also recognize that some people have to work harder to get to the same level, and they can be proud of that as well.
privilege can be anything though. it can be that you are rich, or that you are extremely attractive (pretty people have it much easier to get jobs they want). almost everyone has some sort of privilege, and it's unfair to discredit their success and say it's all because of their privilege. obviously, it's unfair that some people have more privilege than others, but it's not like they can change it. shouldn't we be happy for the privileged people, and help the under privileged ones? bring everyone to a higher level, rather than saying that privileged people don't deserve their privilege and they should be brought down to the underprivileged level?
Sanjana N this!
i can’t believe you have to PAY to TAKE TESTS i- America is so weird
There's been one time I had to pay for a test as a Filipino, and it's to take a full ride merit-based scholarship exam that would give the student complete tuition, book allowance, uniform allowance, monthly stipend, housing allowance, and even transportation allowance if you have to move to attend your school.
And what I paid for that would be, converted, less than 4 dollars!!
That's capitalism for ya 😬😬😬 (we are not okay and those who say we're fine are very privileged people).
@Angel S always*
my school paid for everyone to take the SAT. And if finances are a concern, you can get a fee waiver. Other than that, everything College Board has is more or less a scam (AP courses for example)
Not just America
i was also one of those “gifted” kids and by the time i finished high school i was so burnt out from the expectations i had for myself and others had for me. i graduated with a 4.2 and took 6 aps. i’m going into my second year of college and my first year i completely tanked. it ruined my self esteem and confidence in my abilities and it’s still something i’m working on getting back and i really do blame it on the whole gifted student thing. can’t wait to watch your video on that!
I had a very similar experience as a “formerly-gifted” student, and I quit school altogether for a year after 15 consecutive months of steadily declining college grades. When I came back to school, I started off with just one class to build up my confidence, and built up to more intense courseloads in subsequent quarters.
I managed to get all A’s and B’s so far, a significant improvement from the 1.5 GPA I had when I left school. It’ll take me a little longer to get my degree, but I don’t mind taking the extra time if I can preserve my sanity.
Idk what your specific situation is or what your course requirements are like, but being able to start off concentrating on excelling in one course and building up from that was really effective in helping me regain my confidence in school. It might be worth considering, especially if you’re open to taking summer courses 🤷♀️
overachieving in school ruined my life. i’ve always been an aggressive overachiever, spreading myself incredibly thin with school work, extra circulars, theatre and sport. don’t get me wrong, there were a bunch of other environmental factors including on going mental health conditions, but essentially at the end of year 10 my body couldnt take it anymore, and issued a psychosomatic cry for help. i developed a chronic pain condition, and this disability has forced me to drop out of all activities, attend school part time, postpone my highschool graduation by a year and go on medication with various harmful side effects. so,,,,uh,,,,not saying this is going to happen to you or anything, but these kinds of conditions disproportionately effect teenage girls with a high achieving and anxious personality type ://
Bruh fucking same. Here's to sophomore year being a time when we're a little kinder to ourselves. Are you lightening your load for the fall too?
I crashed my junior of high school (last year) I just got to a point where I lost the motivation to even make myself do the easiest of work, I just wanted to slow everything down. Honestly it was one of the worst years of my life, I’m so done with this shit, I was always towards the topic the class, one the best gifted students, straight A+ , and organized student for my elementary and middle school life, then I went to high school and I’m no longer even close to the top, even tho my gpa is an a average... All due to AP classes that people take to pile up their gpas, AP Physics was the death of me as much as I absolutely loved the teacher,(I got a 2 score on the test, so I’ll get to do it all over again). And as I got older the classes didn’t necessarily get harder, the work load got larger. I have adhd and anxiety and it’s an added struggle to fit the school standard. I hate school
madgirlmuahaha ftc
One of my teachers in my high school found out that if you have weighed GPA below a 4.0 then you are already in the bottom half the class, which is insane. Also as someone who has taken AP classes and came from an AP-heavy school, I will tell you that they are a scam. You hardly get credits and even if you do, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are ready to jump into the next level in your freshman year. The college board literally uses desperate students as a way to make money. I hope that company goes out of business soon
I think Asian and African parents went to the same parenting school? The PRESSURE jesus
Willy Shookspeared god. my mother was intense.
Latino parents too lol
Right o my god
Willy Shookspeared AND Hispanic parents smh
*all minority parents
This is exactly why I went to a community college. Even though I didn’t get the typical “college experience” my freshman year, I was able to get a 3.5 GPA and get a scholarship to my dream school!!! But if I had applied straight out of high school I probably wouldn’t have even gotten into that school in the first place.
same!
College experience fun but ts come with major drawbacks tho, u learned patience cus the college experience is just the college experience
Thank you so much for talking about this. I worked so hard in high school to get into my dream school and I eventually did, but at the cost of my mental health and my self confidence. I was so busy trying to stay on top of everything that when my best friend suddenly died during my senior year, I only had a day to grieve before I had to jump right back in to keep my grades up and maintain my extracurriculars. That mindset made my first year of college very tough and I wish there wasn't such a high bar set for EVERY applicant to these selective schools.
It's too bad I can't give this a million likes. I'm now exactly where you are busting my butt to get into a namebrand university like the Ivies at the expense of my mental health, overall quality of life, and wellbeing. School is the only thing I care about. I've been so set on the idea that going to Harvard or Johns Hopkins will make me feel like I'm good enough. So, though I have excellent grades, going to school everday breaks my spirit and now nothing makes me happy anymore. I wish things were different. If I had higher self-esteem, I wouldn't feel the overwhelming need to prove that I'm good enough by getting into a single university.
Sydny Long overachieving in school ruined my life. i’ve always been an aggressive overachiever, spreading myself incredibly thin with school work, extra circulars, theatre and sport. don’t get me wrong, there were a bunch of other environmental factors including on going mental health conditions, but essentially at the end of year 10 my body couldnt take it anymore, and issued a psychosomatic cry for help. i developed a chronic pain condition, and this disability has forced me to drop out of all activities, attend school part time, postpone my highschool graduation by a year and go on medication with various harmful side effects. so,,,,uh,,,,not saying this is going to happen to you or anything, but these kinds of conditions disproportionately effect teenage girls with a high achieving and anxious personality type ://
Raven Trunite Wow, sounds similar to me, though my "Great Crash" happened in college. All of that strain over the years gave me a long term digestive/fatigue disorder, and I had to take a lot of time off, watch all my friends graduate before me, and not achieve all the things I had wanted to achieve. I'd dream of the things I could have been doing if I hadn't been stuck in bed, my body feeling like a worn out old dishcloth...
Hang in there friend, it takes time and healing, and a lot of introspection about what you truly want to do with your life (and likely your overachieving brain will try to concoct a lot of lies about what your life is "supposed" to look like or "should have" looked like), but you can still find fulfillment in life. It's just a matter of figuring out what your natural strengths are, what things bring you a sense of fulfillment even if they're little things, and learning how to stay within your limits. And it's ok to take it slow and be imperfect and messy and bad at doing all that. My own road to recovery and self-discovery has taken several years now and is still going on, but my outlook on my life and my prospects has vastly improved as I've gradually shifted my priorities and how I evaluate myself. I believe in you! Your life isn't ruined, you are simply starting a new chapter. It might take several false starts but you can find a new path for yourself. Take care of your health and be kind to yourself, treat yourself as though you were someone you loved and were looking out for them.
The worst part is that no matter how hard you work and how burnt out you get, there are always students, maybe at your school, maybe on the internet, who are dramatically better than you at EVERYTHING. You taught yourself to speak a second language? well there's a guy/girl who speaks 4 and taught themselves 2. Like photography? why didn't you start a photography business and make money to quantify your passion for colleges? Do you play a sport? doesn't matter because you didn't play it at a national/Olympic level. Like STEM? Why didn't you publish your own research in an accredited journal? Like politics? Why didn't you intern with the federal government? The list goes ON and ON and ON and there is no end, which leads to you working harder and harder and never feeling accomplished. Every success you ever had was minimal and everything you DIDN'T do is a FAILURE because you CHOSE not to do it. All this bs just makes you define your identity by a need for academic prestige, but at the same time you KNOW that you will never be able to achieve it, it's horrible. All this and there are practically no opportunities to relax for long enough for you to clear your head and separate your perspective enough to acknowledge the problems that the system causes. Even worse is when you spend 4 years (like 40% of your conscious life up until that point) grinding away only to discover that your school has been working against you through poor budgeting, lack of class availability, etc. The whole system obviously sucks but there is no way out once you are in because your FAMILIIES FINANCIAL FUTURE DEPENDS ENTIRELY ON HOW HARD YOU ARE WORKING IN HS, its crippling.
Exactly AND high scholers act like its illegal to go to your state school. Like going to the university of Maryland or Iowa or Wisconsin etc doesnt mean you willbe dirt poor and depressed. It still looks great on job apps
I live in a third world country but going to college is really straightforward. Public institutions are well-regarded and tuition free. private ones are expensive but basically free when compared to anything in the US.
Hey uhh so tell me more about this third-world country :P
@@ItsAsparageese Ecuador
It's the same here in Mexico, although getting into the country's best university is really hard
@@eurekamreum5458 Not nearly as hard as here in the US. In the school district where I live 50%+ students are from Latin America (including me) and I've seen cases of students having easy access to places like UNAM, Universidad Nacional de Colombia, UBA and many more suffering to just get accepted to UF. The standards are astronomically different
I went to a high school that pushed college and they would insinuate that working a basic entry-level job was useless/bum work/trash along with my parents saying not going to college was a non-option. I went to a community college right after high school because I was guilted into it and, by no surprise, I failed all of my classes. I got a job, I worked for a couple years and then took a couple community college courses on the side to figure out what I wanted to do. Switched jobs and switched to full-time online classes. Keep in mind I was in school on and off never consistently for a full school year. Now I'm transferring to a university and that's awesome but I'm almost 26 and broke.
To sum it up: if you don't know what you want to do work a job, move up, travel, have roommates/hate them/find new roommates, get a cat, find love, meet new people. Then when you're 24 (the age to get financial aid as an independent) maybe go to college. Live your fucking life to the fullest.
I'm about to start my senior year & I'm nervous about college bc my freshman year I got bad grades bc I had to help my mom raise my 3 siblings. I missed school a lot & never had time to do my work. But junior & sophomore year I got good grades and a high SAT score. I used to stress so much about school, that I eventually became really depressed. I've over come that now & have decided that no matter what happens everything is going to be okay in the end.
I'm not from the US but I've watched a few videos about the admissions system (not this one though, yet). I see an opportunity here. From what I understand most applications require an essay of some sort and that is where you would stand out. You'd have a chance to explain your grades and also show your wonderful qualities, like your priorities and what you learned from your very special experience in high school. You still managed good grades and scores, and that shows determination. I hope I gave you something at least. I'm sorry about your situation and I wish you the best of luck!
On a lot of applications there's a section where you can explain extenuating circumstances to grades you got. Like it's usually called "other information" or something. You can use it to explain you were helping raise your siblings which led to lower grades, or sometimes they even suggest you put family responsibilities as an extracurricular activity and say how many hours you do it. I used the additional information section to talk about how my grades took a huge plunge for sophomore year b/c of the anxiety disorder that I was eventually diagnosed with but that I improved my grades eventually. You have options!! I believe you can do it. It's really impressive that you have a positive outlook now :)
this is so weird i'm in like the exact same situation and i feel like no one understands it lmao. freshman year i was hella depressed and my grades were SO bad but i moved to another district and my sophomore/junior year grades have been pretty good, but my gpa is still kinda bad because of freshman year and i feel like no colleges are going to want me. i also did pretty good on my sat but i'm taking it one more time in august bc it was ten points away from my goal and i'm a perfectionist lol. but at this point i think i've come to terms with it and i know that i'm going to love whatever college i end up going to soooo it's fine haha
Hello fellow senior... I am still stressed about my SAT...
Good job getting it done with!
I had pretty bad grades my freshman year but I did pretty well sophomore and junior and got a decent sat score, and I still got in to the school I wanted.
in my school, the “gifted students” were hand picked to take the gates test. in elementary school, i was really bummed that i didn’t get picked to take the test. now, i’m so glad i never got a chance, since all the gifted kids have either fallen off the bandwagon or are under immense pressure
rin ward it did nothing for me at all now I have that voice in the back in my head telling me that I should be avoid average even though I’m not
Oooooh as a high school teacher, I have so many thoughts & feelings on this subject!
1. As someone who went to a very small, rural, poor school, I grew up legitimately thinking things like AP/honors courses were just like TV/movie bullshit that wasn't real, like how all the kids in high school shows just spend hours standing around in the halls between classes, because we didn't have anything like that & no one around us did either. It was so weird going to university & finding out those things were real. Anyway.
2. Definitely parents will pressure the HELL out of teachers to give their kids higher grades! We will get calls/emails from parents all the time wanting to know why their child doesn't have an A, or what they can do to earn an A in a class. & it's complete bullshit.
3. Which is why I absolutely HATE GPA's & grades overall! Like, the American education system needs a complete overhaul. Grades mean next to nothing when each teacher in each school across the country has a different idea of what "A work" looks like. They're arbitrary! They're meaningless! Which is what I try to tell my students all the time - doing the work, trying the exercises, that's way more important than getting a high grade the first time around. I've had students who got like a 98% ask me what they can do to improve their grade further - & percentages don't even matter since anything above a 90% is all the same in your GPA. Oh, that also might be one of the reasons why students are graduating with higher GPA's too - I know when I was in high school in like, 2008-2012, our school had what I thought was a pretty standard grading scale that 93% & above was an A, but the school I teach at which seems to be pretty common now it's a 90% & up. Which hey, whatever I again think grades suck but still, could be a contributing factor. Children are under way too much pressure, I just really think we need to change the way high schools & colleges function.
This cycle is literally killing me. I go to an ultra high competitive high school and it’s hell. As 15 year olds we bragged about how little sleep we got and how good our grades were. I’m not dumb I got mostly As and Bs but LIED. About my grades so my peers wouldn’t make fun of me for being dumb. High school has gotten way too intense
PLEASE do a video abt gifted kids. I’m very sad and stupid now
You are not stupid. The notion of compartmentalizing young children into gifted versus non-gifted is inherently problematic, and it's not your fault that you never 'lived up to your potential' because this notion is toxic!! YOU are exactly where you need to be, and you can only focus on becoming better everyday. Don't worry about this arbitrary categories.
I am sad and stupid too. Internet hugs my friendo
I feel so attacked rn >:,(
Gifted didn’t make a difference in my life I would have still developed good habits for school. I was never competitive or really smart to. Even for most kids in it, it never made a difference in the kids in my school.
she did
My school had a suicide epidemic and I'm almost certain the pressures you're talking about here played a huge part, thanks for making this video, its so important
yikes.
I’m applying to college right now so this is perfect timing! The application process is much more stressful than I thought it would be
It is really stressful but as long as you remember/keep track of the confusing deadlines you can make it through! Speaking from personal experience it'll feel really good when you're just done with everything.
Pepper thanks for the advice!
Good Luck!
Emma Kohlenberg thanks 😀
about ap classes: i went to three different high schools. one was small, in a small town, and offered limited ap courses. some teachers taught certain ap classes on an every other year basis (my bio teacher taught ap environmental science and ap bio). this was hard for HER because she needed to keep up with the curriculum in both courses even when she wasn’t teaching it and it proved a nuisance for the kids who wanted to take the courses because you had to carefully formulate your schedule around the availability of the class(es) you wanted to take. oftentimes, a student’s schedule wouldn’t line up and they’d have to choose to not take the class.
the second high school i attended was over two or three times the size of my first one. it is located in an orange county suburb, about 20 minutes away from disneyland. they offered so many ap courses that some students would take 6 in a single year (i only took 3 over the spread of 2 years). i moved to the city and school less than a week before the school year was going to start. i had wanted to take an ap course so i signed up and went to the first week of classes but it quickly became apparent i wouldn’t be able to catch up since they had been assigned summer homework for the class. the teacher gave me an ultimatum and said she didn’t think i could catch up so i dropped the class. it sucked. ap summer homework is unnecessary and unfair. what if a student doesn’t have access to the internet? what if they’re busy enjoying their summer? or working?? what if they have mental health issues or disabilities??
the third school i went to offered no ap classes at all. it is an independent study school that offers online courses and one-on-one time with a teacher. their focus is on working with every student individually and catering to their needs to help them succeed. i really appreciated my time there. i wouldn’t have graduated without them.
while i was in high school, no one explained to me how the credits i earned from passing my ap tests would translate to my college major. no one told me that different colleges only accept certain passing scores or that certain ap classes wouldn’t help me in my college career. i ended up wasting money.
the worst part? those ap classes i took were LEAGUES more difficult and stressful than any college course i’ve taken so far. i’m a former “gifted kid” too and ap never helped me. it’s an elitist scam. any high school student would be better off doing dual-enrollment and taking gen ed at a local community college.
NOT TO MENTION!!!!! tests are by no means an accurate representation of someone’s intelligence! the fact that ap tests have large writing portions that are timed always put me at a disadvantage because i naturally write a lot and it takes me time to formulate my thoughts so i would never finish the test in time! so i got a lower score!
Perfect timing with college apps opening on August 1!! Thank you for this haha
.. I'm learning... Didn't know they reopened just thought they were always open 😅
when your weak in academics, don’t have extra circulars and low income 😂 AND McDonald’s rejected my application
Jack Ma got rejected from KFC
It's okay, you'll get there
Yeah... don’t I know it, I was labeled gifted with a “high IQ” and it truly messed me up.
oh, on top of that... I have AD(H)D that was untreated as a child, which just compounded my feelings of failure.
How quick adults are to turn from “your so amazing!” To “what’s wrong with you just pay attention, are you even trying?!?!”
Ugh I’m getting ulcers just thinking about it.
Edit-typos.
MushroomReaper I FEEL THIS omg. I had that with me too; I had like 3 different learning issues (including ADHD) that weren’t diagnosed until May of my junior year lol. Until then it was a lot of being yelled at for my bad habits and just not being happy. Thank god that I found the right college and I’m doing well now, but high school was borderline traumatic for me
When you think you have pseudo-adhd from depression but your parents refuse to acknowledge it’s existence so you suffer and watch your grades slip as a consequence 👊😧👋😜
I think “tiger parents” are common in both Asian-American families and African-American families. By African-American I mean the African immigrants who came here by choice! There’s a big difference between the two.
Nigerian parents are the real deal. They expect nothing less than to achieve and balance everything in the world.
YESSS!!! I’m Caribbean-American and it’s the same for me. My Jamaican mother!
I'm constantly surprised how hard things seem to be in the US while also being easy. Like most countries don't do the multiple question thing beyond primary school and assessments are in essay format or long form for maths. In my personal experience too I didn't find getting into uni hard at all because it was a calculated score you needed based on your results over your final year and with the system we had you could stack your work to allow you to know in advance that you were safe and accepted. Basically everyone over a certain score gets in. The universities couldn't care less about extracurricular activities either, they don't even ask about them.
C the US education system is a mess that’s why lol
C • that’s a good point! For example, I was an exchange student in France and the level of French of the American students was what we would consider far below high school level, but many of them were French majors. They were studying French at university, but were not even at basic conversation level.
i feel like the system is pretty great in australia too. rankings don’t come into the mix until years 11 and 12 (the final two years), before then you just get grades (A-E) for each subject. your coursework and end of year exams in year 12 are calculated and scaled against the difficulty of the subjects your taking and the competitiveness of your school. there are definitely some big problems with the ATAR system, like boiling kids down to one score, too highly rewarding exam prep which only tends to happen in private/ selective schools or through paid tutors, and ridiculously high bars for selective areas of study like medicine or law, but it sounds a hell of a lot better than the clusterfuck described in the video
Same where im from. Universities dont give af if you do sports 😂😂 that seems ridiculous to me.
@@raventrunite6459 I'm in NZ and it's even less complicated. All grades you earn through the year are given a weighted score of 1, 2 or 3 and the entry is set at a rank score of combined points. I knew about halfway through the year that I had enough points to be accepted into uni. For the degree I did it even literally says on the website, "you are guaranteed entry to this programme if you meet these requirements" and lists rank score, potentially required certain subjects for certain majors, and UE (which you would generally already have if you have enough points for the rank score). I found it all very smooth and stress free and I'm so glad it was like that, not what's described in this video.
I really relate to your personal upbringing actually cause I went to a public high school in a VERY affluent area although my family is lower-middle class (single immigrant mom, dad is mostly out of the picture). I am so thankful for my high school because they were very generous to me (as someone who wasn’t as privileged as most of my peers) and I really think they gave me an edge in many ways.
It infuriates me that other students across the country didn’t receive the same quality of education and opportunities as I did simply because my high school was better funded due to high property taxes and such. I’m barely scratching the surface of the issue here but the education system in this country is literally so unequal and unfair it makes me want to scream.
One day, the rampant inequality and corruption in the American education system will be lessened. Hopefully.
the concept of a 5.0 GPA is so silly, your high school GPA says very very very little about what kind of value the work you can do once you graduate from uni is. I failed my maths midterms in high school, i got terrible grades, like i just barely passed, and now i have a 3.5 GPA in uni with somewhat low effort. I meet so many people who did awful in high school and are now the most clever people in their major or make the coolest bachelor projects.
Many schools say they have holistic admissions and consider context but then reject a disproportionate number of low-income students that had less opportunities. Which is awful because low-income students can usually only afford top schools because they give the best financial aid. For example, you pay nothing to go to Rice if you make less that 65,000 but 40% of their students are in the top 5% income.
Just can't believe how colleges rejected you; it is their HUGE LOSS lol. Here you are now intellectually expanding our minds unlike normal college students😊
I am going to the school of my dreams: a tiny, liberal arts school in Pennsylvania that happens to have a high acceptance rate of about 65-70%. I went to high school in an extremely well-off and academically superior town, where if you didn't have a 4.5 GPA or 1560 SAT, you were stupid. I got mostly straight As in high school and got a really good SAT score, and chose my college for its superiority in my intended major, for which the program is one of the best, but my classmates continuously put me down because it wasn't a traditionally "good school." They seemed like they pitied me when I said where I was going, as if I couldn't get in anywhere else, rather than just wanting to go there. College admissions culture is extremely toxic and led to an unhealthy environment my senior year of high school, where everything became a competition, and an attitude that anything but an ivy was a "bad school."
Logan Elizabeth are you going to juniata?
really learning a lot from you... would love to see an update on personal finance! As a broke college student I have very little knowledge on what I should be doing financially lol
@jenna bean 12$ or more LMAO WHERE?
@@meijelly I know this is higher than some states, but in Washington (where I live) 12 is minimum wage. I don't think we're unique in that either, there are others that are the same or even higher I think.
There are currently 3 states with a minimum wage of $12: California, Massachusetts, and Washington. The only place with a higher minimum is Washington D.C. at $14. Twenty states still follow the national minimum wage of $7.25. I make just over $8.55 in Ohio. Of course, location does make a difference because the cost of living is going to be lower here than in California or Washington.
I'm African American and I went to a predominately black high school in the south that offered Honors/AP courses. My family wasn't really that into education (and we were low income), but all my life I'd been told I was one of the "smart ones" so I tried to do what smart kids do - which was try my best to take honors and AP classes. There was an application process that included test scores from middle school, an essay, and I forget what else. I tried my first time sophomore year, but my test scores were too low apparently. I genuinely wanted this opportunity because the teachers seemed to care more about education on the Honors/AP level when in regular they'd just give all the kids packets and tedious homework. I still to this day don't understand how students can't just elect to take a harder class and just prove themselves by succeeding. Why did they have to bring up one of 100 standardized tests I took in 8th grade when I didn't know what an AP class even was? I wanted to better my own opportunities and should have had the open chance to do so. I knew I could prove myself but was denied from doing so.
Plus, almost ALL the student in honors/AP/Dual Credit courses were either the affluent black kids with parents familiar with the college system (mine were not), Asian kids, and white kids (also affluent and connected to the college system). Despite the school being majority black, I feel safe saying that ALL the non-black kids (and as I mentioned before, some of the more privileged black kids) at the school were either honors/AP students. They cliqued up all of the time and were entirely separate from the rest of the school until lunchtime (they always sat together then too).
In my final two years of high school, I managed to talk my counselor getting me into about 4 honors/DC classes and loved it - I made above a B in all of them. Unfortunately my gpa had already taken the hit and I graduated with 2.8 gpa. Sad story.
this really brings back bad memories from my highschool. I remember my 8th grade english teacher telling us that if we didnt go to college, we would end up homeless drug addicts. that kind of pressure was put on us from so young, and stayed until i graduated. I struggled with a ton of mental health issues in school, because of my life situation and a lot because of the stress from school. I always felt pressured to take more ap courses, even though i could barely afford or pass them. i coulnt fluff up my applications with extracurricular because i was so suicidal and anxious i could barely talk to anyone. I couldn't afford to go to college straight away so im stuck at a dead end job, trying to make enough to at least move out and worry about education later. literally all my school ever did for me was make me more suicidal.
omg plus, the way schools deal with kids with mental health issues. that would lowkey be a really good video topic cuz schools really fuck up in that area.
im angry about school still even after i left lol
I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on the trending heritage DNA tests. I can see both their usefulness in some cases but also the dangers their hidding about shaaring our personal dna.
I would love to see this too!
My high school offered no AP classes, not that I would have been taking them. My school just wouldn’t have enough students/teachers to fill classes. I definitely saw grade inflation at my school. We had 4 valedictorians in my graduating class and that should not be possible.
My graduating class had almost 10 😭
I had 4 too, defs feel u
Ours has none because they got rid of the position after one made a pipe bomb
yee yee storytime????
Thank you so much for making a video on this topic! As an incoming senior who is in the process of applying to multiple competitive schools, I often find myself thinking about the injustices of the system and the toll it has taken on my health. The stress of trying to be the "perfect student" resulted in a bunch of mental and physical health issues for me, and I ended up having to be hospitalized during both the 8th grade and sophomore year because of this. Over the last year I've realized that my well-being should be the priority, and although I still take mostly AP and IB classes, I've been making time to relax and focus on things that I enjoy (like baking, making music, and painting!). I wish it was easier to get the message across to students that in the grand scheme of things, this period of our lives does not solely determine our future success and happiness, and for the sake of our future selves, we need recognize when our competitiveness has become detrimental rather than beneficial. I really hope that your perspective helps at least one student realize this.
It's so weird how I can briefly remember taking that test for "gifted" students around the time I was in second grade and just what a big shift it did to how I valued my self-worth as a child? Like I'm 20 now and wonder just how much more different my life would've been if no one put that label on me at such a young age. I think the "gifted" title makes kids believe their value = their grades, and that's pretty terrifying when you think about it.
I can remember doing the absolute most in high school because In my mind I NEEDED to get into a good college, while my peers who weren't in these challenging classes simply lived their lives and their value was more than what grades they got.
Can we talk about the phrase "not low income enough"? The fact that we can even say that is super weird.
I did want to say that not every school weighs GPA the same! Students are compared within the context of their schools when it comes to admissions because schools (like mine) have REALLY WEIRD ways of weighting.
Yes! My school has a weird 4.5 scale, so whenever I compare my stats to people on youtube, I always felt bad, but in reality, there really isnt a way to compare
My school does a 7.0 scale
And my school has a 100 point scale
Just consider z scores or the number of standard deviations from the mean. That's the objective unweighted score (sort of).
As a Canadian I feel there is alot less stress put on us for college/university admissions. It's sad how much stress is put on ppl at such a young age.
Ugh this is so true. My parents are both professors so even with a 4.5 GPA I always feel like I’m not doing enough. I’m going into my junior year and I’m so stressed about getting into an Ivy League
we all have pressure. I wish i had someone to give me that advice. If you come from a working class family with no degrees you will also have the weight on your shoulders of your family relying on you to succeed
Honestly the “I’m not doing enough” is a big ass mood
Haha I came back to this comment a year later and I was actually just accepted to an Ivy a few months ago
@@Olivia-uq4ls I’m just watching this video now, congrats!! Any tips on stress and getting in 😅?
@@sofiap.4744 Thanks! I wish I had more tips on dealing with the stress tbh. But I’d say 1) Always prioritize sleep, it makes a huge difference. 2) Pick a weird, quirky hobby. I’m a competitive rock climber and I think that definitely helped me stand out, plus climbing was an outlet for me to channel my stress. And 3) Start your essays early! I didn’t start my personal statement until a month before the deadline and it caused me a lot of extra stress. Good luck, I hope this helps!
I feel lucky, my high school has a program called 'running start' and basically it lets you take 2 free years of (community) college during your last 2 years of high school. You can substitute high school classes for college classes and get college credits while in high school while still using the same credit to graduate high school. My 2 older sisters are in running start, one graduated this year and the other is graduating next year. I'm planning to do running start with my best friend when the time comes, college is expensive and there is no way my parents could help all of my 6 siblings and I pay for it. I'm hoping that after I finish community college I can either go to culinary school or start working at a restaurant. It's all so scary and overwhelming, especially after my freshman year being cut short by the pandemic.
I'm white and I had a lazy-ish tiger mom. She is technically my step mom but my natural mom wasnt around much. They're both my mom but my Asian mom was a consistent part of my life.
What I mean by lazy tiger is she had high expectations but it was more of a passive agressive sucess 'motivation' style. If I got an A, the response wasn't positive, it was " thats what you were supposed to do". The other things were super OCD scrutiny of everyday tasks like cleaning. I came out with extremely high preformance anxiety and am an underachiever. My brothers that are her natural children are the same. I wont repeat the cycle.
I remember wanting to be a “gifted child” ever since I was in elementary school. I remember being pressured to be the top student ever since the first grade. And it absolutely killed me on the inside that no matter how hard I tried, I was never able to reach that expected “gifted child” status and genuinely felt like a failure throughout my entire academic career because I could only be “average”.
So glad to be born in Switzerland. All the admission to a university requires is a Baccalaureate. And the semester fees are arround $800
And we have a sensational vocational education and training
Rani Priti That sounds so much better
Rani Priti • similar here in the Netherlands
Rani Priti Same in Germany it depends mainly on your a levels but there are other ways to get into that require for example that you have worked previously in the field you want to study. I would say the system is quite fair
The Aussie to university system is also quite different.
We don’t have anything like AP courses, though I personally did do a program where I started uni while in yr 12, it was a very small program, not available to everyone.
Also, our unis tend to only factor in grades and test scores (back when I was in high school we had OP scores which would place us in categories overall- with OP 1 being the highest). But they tend not to put so much emphasis on extracurriculars- because what difference does that make to the bachelor you’re doing? You also apply to unis for specific degrees, you don’t get in first and then decide.
I overextended with the uni and school thing (mental illness plus only being 15), and I dropped out. But, after about ten years, I went back as a mature aged student, and I had a few Open university online courses under my belt.
Our uni is expensive. My Law degree would be about $60k all up, but the government pays upfront, and you only repay when you reach a certain income level. Plus, most of our unis are great for distance learning, because we are such a big country, with some areas being massively spread out (that happens when you’re almost the size of the US, but with less than a tenth of the population). But because we do distance, it also makes it far more accessible for disabled students (like me- I can study from my bed, lectures are put online for everyone to watch, and as a disabled student, I can even do my tests in bed. They send out people to watch you take the test in your bedroom if need be. And I’ve done it before).
So I think all in all, we are more flexible, and we don’t have quite the amount of pressure. But still, for those on the uni track in yr 12, getting a good OP can be extremely difficult, and put a lot of pressure on kids. And depending on what you want to do, it can matter a lot. If you want to get into human or veterinary medicine, you’ll need an OP not below a 3. Law is about a 3 or 4, depending. And better unis have higher cutoffs. Honestly, it’s so much easier to go do one thing else, do some online Open Uni courses, and get in that way.
@@katherinemorelle7115 I'm in year 12 right now in NSW, and things have changed a little concerning extracurricular stuff. There are unis that will give you extra ATAR points if you're school captain, prefect, NSW sports champion, etc. And everything is about how your subject scales, and what kind of subjects will drag down your ATAR and who ranks against you.
I live in Mexico but this kind of problems are still quite present, specially in private schools. Most of the "top notch" Highschools here give students a gigantic load of job that causes them stress, unhappiness, sleep depravation and more horrible things. The worst part is that a lot of teachers encourage this behavior, and even treat it as normal. I left one of these schools on my freshman year, primarily because of depression and stress, but my friends who stayed suffered a lot. A lot. It saddens me that they treat young kids, as young as 15 with this kind of behaviors and practiced that won't let them leave their lives.
Also great video, I discovered your channel thanks to the MLM video you made, and I love your honest style!
That’s why I’m happy I’m transferring! Transferring has such a bad rep but, it’s a better and inexpensive option
Our public school didn’t offer any AP classes. So I signed up for 3 test (that were 2 hrs away) and studied for the ALL ON MY OWN. Rural American schools are just as disadvantaged as some urban schools.
you could make a 45 minute video on the history of farts and i would watch intently and then be fired up about the history of farts.
Emily Mathison honestly
Lol I'm in junior year of high school and a low income student in AP classes. Last year I was so worried about the test just because I was like if I fail I will have wasted my mother's prescious 90 bucks. I was literally feeling so horrible but then I was able to get it discounted for just 5 dollars and that took so much pressure off me. It was so funny because I was like is this how people with money feel all the time? They just don't have to worry about it? That's crazy.
Btw, now what are u majoring in? Which college u go to? I'm a high school senior and international student applying to USA colleges 💀💀🗣🗣
While i went to a low income high school, they waived the ap test fee for everybody. They also implemented sat/act prep into our writing class curriculum so that everybody got it.
Our AP test fee was waived as well, but our ACT prep was on weekends and many couldnt attend bc they had to work
i wanna shout out those of us with immigrant parents who DID go to college in their home country, but still don’t understand how the system works here. We have to learn the ropes of the college process with our parents because college in their country is very different from the system here in America.
This makes me so sad! I went to an affluent public high school and graduated seven years ago. The pressure was real, but I've learned that those who burned themselves out from applying to colleges weren't successful in college. I was an active student in high school, but didn't burn myself out and ended up going to a community college my freshman year and went to a top state school from sophomore year to graduation. I was able to enjoy and succeed in college since I wasn't completely burned out from high school and it was totally worth it.
This was such an amazing video! This was very personal and relatable to me, I’ve had a learning disability ever since I was little. I’ve always been the one in my household who has always been creative, willing to take on challenges both in and out of school, the “different” one, and be willing to take risks to make the most out of my life. To seize every moment of my life! This philosophy of mine got me accepted into college. Not just a gpa, not just a test score, not just a course load. I am attending Illinois state university this fall to pursue English education. After my experience in high school, it’s very sad and shocking to see an academic unfairness for students. Especially for students with learning disabilities. The idea of people being born-smart, doing EVERYTHING your school offers, and getting into a good college ONLY based on test scores, AP, and gpa is so stereotypical and overrated. We don’t give students the opportunity to take challenging academics if they wish. We only give it to certain pigs in the pen and it’s mind-blowing. EVERY student should be given the opportunity to pursue something that is risky and challenging. THATS how we grow. Colleges don’t pay enough attention to students like myself, only certain pigs in the pen. The system is broken. Be a self-advocate! Stand up for what YOU want in life! Don’t let the corrupt system take away your dreams.
All of my friends throughout school were part of gifted programs. However, I was always put into special learning classes from I think 2nd or 3rd grade to 7th grade, so I was disconnected from them because of that. In elementary school, we were very close, but after we moved onto middle and high school, they sort of left me out of everything they did. I would try to hang out and they just said no and would hang out with each other, posting on social media about it. I'm not sure if their actions were because they just didnt like me or that their gifted program made them feel like they were all important because they got to take all of those fancy AP classes. Either way, those 'friends' made me feel extremely left out because I wasn't in their gifted program.
I get where you are coming from. Some people have that mentality when they go into gifted programs. I know when I went into my first honors class, there was a lot of people who looked down on me because I wasn't in the gifted classes before. But over time, people will learn that not everything is dictated by what classes you took in primary or middle school. For your situation, I would suggest getting better friends (If you haven't already). I would join clubs that correlate to things you like rather than academics. You'll find a lot of like minded people in places like that.
@@scaredstiff7176 I definitely will once I get into my university. I pretty much left high school my junior year (I mostly took college classes instead of a lot of high school classes.) I'm a junior in college instead of a freshman like all my friends from high school are. I'll be joining clubs and whatnot and making friends in my classes. I've already made a few thankfully.
@@rowdywizard2071 That's good to hear. Hope the rest of your college years go well!
@@scaredstiff7176 if you're in college/any school, I hope you're doing well too!
I was a gifted kid in elementary school and them moved to a different middle school. They had a school for the gifted but my mom never took me to take that test so into high school I took the same classes as those kids, made the same grades and took the same test. And yet they all look down on me, I wasn't in their GIFTED middle school. They look at the other kids as less than.
In regard to this particular topic, I recommend the For Harriet video “why I failed out of Harvard”. Kim talks about the immense pressure she put on herself as a middle class black woman who was always told she was “the one” and who dreamed of going to Harvard.
There’s plenty more to the story than just overextending herself- but isn’t there always? We never have just the one thing going on. And I personally relate, as someone who started uni while still in high school, and that was after skipping a grade. I overextended, and I had mental health problems and... I dropped out of high school and uni on the same day. I did eventually go back and study law at uni, but it took a long time- almost ten years.
And it’s also true that the overachievers tend to also be perfectionists, and we also tend to have higher rates of mental illness. Which makes it so easy to overextend! I think it’s something that needs to be talked about, because when you’re young, all you feel is the pressure to push more and harder- but we should be helped with counselling and therapy, because we are at risk. We need help to not fall apart when we lose our perfect GPA after two years of law school (yep, this one is personal, even as an adult I couldn’t handle it, though to be fair- I already was dealing with mental illness. That was one thing that did not go away after my teen years). And I mean- it is somewhat understandable right? Once that GPA is gone, you can never get it back. I don’t know what the American system is, but my uni measured up to 7.0, which you only had if you got 7s for every single unit (7 being high distinction, and the highest mark possible). So when I got a distinction, I dropped to a 6.7, and I had a breakdown.
The pressure is real!!!
On a more amusing note, I’m fairly sure I still hold the record for youngest uni dropout in my state. I was 15.
What a claim to fame! 😂
I’m a comment as I go, and in regard to who gets in to what school, Kim from For Harriet also has a great video that she did after the Aunt Becky scandal where she says that she saw exactly how things work.
Like I said earlier- she went to Harvard. And as she says, while middle class and lower students have to be brilliant to get into an Ivy League, if you’re rich, you only have to be mediocre.
It’s the private prep schools that inflate grades and give better education, the parents that pay for private tutors, the legacy kids whose parents went there. It’s an entirely different world when you’re rich. And it also ties in to another video I saw this morning by Christo Aivalis, about how low performing rich kids still end up much better off than high performing poor kids.
It’s better to be rich than smart.
in Denmark you just apply with your grades lol. I got into one of Europe's top engineering universities (DTU) with my very mediocre high school grades.
@Intensive Purposes Copenhagen has a huge gentrification and expensive housing problem like what the San Francisco Bay Area is going through right now. A lot of people don't know or don't even talk about it on mass media. A lot of single, studio-renter people even commute over the bridge from Malmo, Sweden into the city for work. For tourism, it's fine. But if you live there, it adds up. (Source: Two of my cousins have lived and currently live in Denmark for military relocation and work respectively.)
I graduated high school with over a 4.0, over a year of college, worked 40 hours a week since I turned 16 and moved out of my parents house the second semester of my senior year. I got a full ride to college but I had and have pretty much no life outside of work/school :/ definitely shouldn’t have had to do all of that.
Thank you for this. Trying to compete with my peers and not doing as well gave me so much anxiety and severe depression, to the point where I just stopped caring and my meds stopped being effective.
overachieving in school ruined my life. i’ve always been an aggressive overachiever, spreading myself incredibly thin with school work, extra circulars, theatre and sport. don’t get me wrong, there were a bunch of other environmental factors including on going mental health conditions, but essentially at the end of year 10 my body couldnt take it anymore, and issued a psychosomatic cry for help. i developed a chronic pain condition, and this disability has forced me to drop out of all activities, attend school part time, postpone my highschool graduation by a year and go on medication with various harmful side effects. so,,,,uh,,,,not saying this is going to happen to you or anything, but these kinds of conditions disproportionately effect teenage girls with a high achieving and anxious personality type ://
Please make a video on how the school system separates students into different tracks like AP, honors, standard ,etc and the repercussions!
Thank you for this video. I used to be this overachieving, not sleeping enough kid. It all ended for me with mental breakdown, and a failure in university because of my mental state. Still, I'm glad I did have a breakdown as it was much needed to realize life is not about academics and that grades only, and that those things do not guarantee success in life. Just wish I did not have to realize it in such a painful way. Now I am hundreds times happier and I finally have a sense of purpose and dreams that are MY OWN. I'm sure your videos will do many good for young people
I got a 3.6 GPA in my senior year of high school, but I got suicidal after finding out my ACT was a 22. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. It was horrible.
Emma Cat I got a 21 on the act and 1240 on the sat and still got into Berkeley, you got this!!!!
i’m about to be a hs senior and this video,,,,,, made me cry hahah :)))
I think it is only my school who does this and I think it’s different because it’s a charter high school, but dual enrolling in our nearest community college gives us an even higher weighted GPA. So if you take a college class and get an A in it, we get 10 points added to our weighted GPA! And I think this is an opportunity given to us by our school because my school only has 5 AP classes available to us, so I’ve been taking advantage of the college classes that are offered. It’s better than taking AP classes honestly since not only do we get even more credit quicker but for me especially it is less stressful!! You spend a whole school year taking an AP class when a college class lasts only one season/ one semester. It’s crazy because I feel like AP classes are even more stressful than actual college classes when AP classes are supposed to be designed as difficult as college classes.
27:20 If that isn’t a word-for-word description of me at age 16, I don’t know what is. I had to go back to therapy in my jr/sr years of high school because of my disproportionate sense of self-worth and academic achievement. Everybody told me I had “potential”, but I struggled so badly (thanks, ADHD and turbulent home life) that I believed it was because I wasn’t trying hard enough to stay on the same absurdly high academic level as my friends. I relapsed into a major depressive episode shortly after starting college when this mentality hit me again, and I didn’t have my parents or therapist with me at university to help me snap out of it.
This toxic mentality doesn’t just affect teens in high school, it follows us into college and early adulthood.
madgirlmuahaha This is really similar to my experience of school (I’m in my last year of school in the uk). I’m also ADHD as well as ASD and when i was younger I didn’t do particularly well at school academically but I occasionally did do well in a piece of work, and was told i had ‘potential”. This was true in a way as i did do very well in school for a time, but then it got way more difficult. I now feel a bit like I’ve failed those who believed in my potential.
The way we treat GPA scores reminds me of a hypothetical situation in a cinema, where all of the people seating in the first row suddenly stand up to see the film more clearly, which forces the people from the next row to stand up as well, and so on. By the end everyone is standing in said cinema, but also everyone sees the screen equally good - the difference is they're all standing.
Hey Tiffany, I love your videos a lot, they're always well thought out and interesting. However that I've noticed that you always second guess your points or undermine your opinions by saying "but I dunno" at the end of them. Please don't underestimate yourself. If you saying something, whether it has facts to back you up, you should always be confident in what you're saying. If something wrong was said you can always correct it later, no biggie. I've realised a lot of women do this and it's starting to be frustrating.
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I’ve seen studies proving your exact point- that women tend to speak using words like “sorry”, or “maybe” or “I’m not sure”, to soften what they are saying.
It’s internalised sexist gender roles. Hopefully we can move away from it.
@@katherinemorelle7115 Really? I'm not sure how to Google it to look for such a thing, can you direct me to the study?
I always start sentences with "I think" and "maybe" and finish with "I'm not sure". Its true it's a terrible habit and I feel like I get less respect in my work place because of it
A Trapdøør I do this. Even if I know something to be true and I’ve seen it with my own two eyes I’ll still say “I think” or “I’m not quite sure”
Your video output schedule is pretty intense, Tiffany. Sounds like someone's been *RISING AND GRINDING!*
=P
Please do a video on the gifted and talented program. I'm currently about to go to eighth grade and it'll be my 5th year of being in it and I really wanna hear your opinion on the pressures and expectations and how we're constantly being scolded when honors/"regular" classes do better than us.
Jesus, that sounds horrible. They're forcing you to base your OWN worth on another person!!
Lemme tell you, those classes were NEVER any different than the normal classes in my experience
I have been in gifted and honors classes since i was in 5th grade, and ill be a senior in a month...
When i went to normal classes for a year, it was the exact same stuff, just a tad slower and more relaxing for my stressed lil brain.
Honestly, my 5th grade teacher did a good job of explaining how gifted classes are barely any different than regular classes it's honestly all about "expectations" we have to meet.