Girl Chat: 'I’m Sorry, But…'
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ก.พ. 2019
- Adrienne Houghton, Jeannie Mai, Loni Love, and Tamera Mowry-Housley share their thoughts on how to offer a sincere apology. They also discuss sharing a bathroom with your significant other, and judging people for their cracked or old phones. Do you care if someone’s phone isn’t new or in great condition?
Using your cell phone while using the bathroom →→→ • Using Your Cell Phone ... - บันเทิง
"The word 'but' means forget everything that I just said, this is what I really mean."
-Dr. Phil
Dr.Phil, the 21st century philosopher
Wow I like this phrase
Everyone talking about old tapings and videos I'm just happy to watch something
No footage to show here
Not if you already watched it
Aerial Robinson then go watch the full episodes on TV where they show them in the first place 🙄 who relies on TH-cam to watch full episodes of a shown
Period pooh
@nicole avery it only airs in the US and people who aren’t from there can’t watch full eps
“I’m sorry I made you feel this way” is different from “I’m sorry you feel this way” because when you say “I” you are taking some of the responsibility for the way that person felt by your comment or actions. When you say “you” you’re placing the blame on that person without taking responsibility.
Kosmetics Queen perfect explanation 👌🏾
Correct!
Well yes because credit where credit is due.
For example you're dealing with a sensitive soul who takes everything to heart.
Like a joke that everyone got but this one took an issue with
U say what I'm sorry for hurting u?
No. U defend your intentions and ur integrity but at the same time u say sorry to the person for feeling that way.
Intention is not the same as effect. Just because you did not intend to affect somebody, doesn’t mean you won’t. Just because you think you’re in the right, doesn’t mean you are
Either way it’s more about saying I’m sorry I made you feel bad, that was not my intention. Rather than being sorry about what you actually did
Ok so how about if you say: I’m sorry I said you were butt ass ugly and that yo momma was stupid for giving birth to you. And I said it with sincerity and dropped a tear, you think that would be an acceptable apology? Cause you know I want to let them know what I’m apologizing for.
If someone apologized to me like Adrienne I would be pissed. If you're not sorry don't apologize. That's putting the blame on me. So I agree with Loni and Jeannie.
Why wouldnt i mean it. Tho im the one clueless, i know i have hurt others for the choice is not easy.
My sentiments exactly!!! 🔥
Ik for the first time I disagree with Adrienne
Well sometimes the blame should be on you
Agreed. For me an "I'm sorry you feel this way" apology is just adding fuel to the fire as it's condescending. It is definitely worse than no apology IMO. And @nicole avery well if you think the blame should be on that person explain to them why and tell them that's why you are not offering an apology don't patronize them.
The words 'IF' AND 'BUT' should NEVER be in an apology. Short and sweet. I'M SORRY, HOW CAN I MAKE THINGS RIGHT AND PLEASE FORGIVE ME. Done
Julie Kay THANK YOU i was waiting for someone to say if too cuz 🤦♀️
I totally agree.
I love that Jeannie has always been very aware of the audience. I was in the audience once and she was definitely the most interactive with the audience. Love the other hosts but they were more interested in each other than the audience
adrienne sis... if u don’t wanna apologize then just... don’t apologize. either own up to it completely or not at all
aaron newman thank you..... like Jeannie said that low key shady.
I try to say im sorry and i always mean it to everyone but the known exceptions we will call exs
I think the right way to apologized when you feel like you didn't do something wrong: " I'm sorry that something I said or did made you offended. I did not mean it to out that way". In this apology, you are admitting to doing something wrong bc at the end of the day, something you said or did hurt somebody else. It's not about what you think, rather it's about what the other person felt as a result of your action.
I think when someone apologises like that, a better way to say, "I'm sorry for the way I made you feel." That's a better way
But either way, I didn’t go out of my way to offend you..YOU felt that, I can’t apologize for how you feel..🤭
"I" is ownershipl of apology "you" is reverting the blame
They're confusing me with these old videos. I come to TH-cam to watch the new ones!!
same i was like when did jeanie and freddie get back togeteher hahaha
Getting these views from me hmph! But I know now! Blue background is old!
Comfort n old acquaintances but new feelings or are they new?
Yeah like what the hell????
its not that serious 😂 sheesh
Not everyone has been watching since season one. I need these older videos and their discussions as much as 2019 discussions. Old or not, the conversation is great to watch and learn from.
If you gotta say " BUT " it's not an apology 😂😂😂
if u ever come across a situation where there was a misunderstanding... and the person considerate enough to apologise for YOUR lack of understanding, has to then explain why u got the wrong end of the stick n sorry if your feelings were hurt..
Then u come back with "that's not even an apology" lol.
Like no that person doesnt even need to apologise for YOUR misunderstanding.
But they did it out of consideration.
Cause they're kind. N you taking it the way you do shows how selfish & narrow minded you are
The sisterhood between these women has been amazing. One notable thing: Loni needed this sisterhood and it's sooo wonderful to watch.
Loni looks SOOO poppin this episode!!!!!!
No, true apologies acknowledge feelings. "I apologize for hurting your feelings, etc."
Ain Lerato Michele exactly! No ifs or buts! Not if I hurt your feelings, you did! Yes.... it wasn’t my intention to make you feel this way... I’m sorry that my actions hurt your feelings...🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
I am sorry for hurting you and your feelings are important
Can everyone stop complaining all the time about the old clips. I’m from London and don’t even get the real over here. So I’m happy with whatever!
Tamara hit the nail on the head with men who like organized messes. My man is exactly like that and we fight about it all the time. Even when I show him where I move it to, he forgets and still freaks out when he can’t find it
i'm kinda like that myself😁
All you need to do is validate a person's feelings. That's all people truly want.
Someone falls:
Me: I’m sorry for laughing, but that was funny as hell😂
Israel was married for 22 years no shade because I love them. But he should know EXACTLY what to do and not do lol 😂
How should anyone know when there has been a lack of communication.
22 years! Wow I didnt know the age gap was that much between him and Adrienne.
saying “i’m really sorry I hurt your feelings, I didn’t mean to” and “i’m sorry you feel that way” are two different things. saying i’m sorry you feel that way completely invalidates the others feelings and is not an apology
"I didn't intend to insult you!"
"I take responsibility for my actions!"
"I apologize!"
Omg 10 mins of Adrienne saying the exact same thing until Loni is happy 😂🙄
She's acting like a Samsung is a flip phone. And I think good service is more important. You can have a iPhone but if you have cheap service and can't get reception what's the point.
I bowed out n i saidsorry n meamt it n ca t do anything rite yetu still are here wanting an answer for a question that does not exiat
Nobody can MAKE you feel anything. You have control over your own mindset, which produces those emotions and responses (both of which you also have control over).
I agree with Loni and Jeanie, imagine your man cheating then saying “I’m sorry you feel i cheated” like what?!
But Adrienne said in her scenario, she DIDN'T do it, so I guess in your scenario that would be a man who did NOT cheat saying "I'm sorry you think I cheated".
I have no commitment to ts n im torn because i wasnt told who is in play but want both...
Rusty Shackleford Or “I’m sorry you felt some type of way about me cheating.” Lmao
Only works if he didn't cheat and she thought.
That's not what Adrienne or Tamera was saying.
In fact it's more in the realm of a misunderstanding.
People don't need to apologise for YOUR lack of understanding, but if they do, they have a right to defend their innocence.
That's where the BUT comes in.
N u being all haughty and arrogant at that apology says more about u than it does them.
Loni I am with you. The apologies are different. I tell my husband abt that Adrienne apology all the time. Absolutely no. Shady.
tamera: i’m probably enabling him
audience: you are
LMAO
Lmao I'm exactly like Adam. I may have a mess, but it's MY mess!! And I know exactly where everything is!!
Never claimed that
They need to do more hello TH-cam clips you know those longer clips where they start off saying hello TH-cam like yes there talking to us why y’all not doing that anymore 😫😫😫
I miss those too😭
I would enjoy more hellos as well
You really should get out of the house
Adrienne: “I’m OCD about being clean”
Also Adrienne: “I don’t wash my hands after I use the bathroom in my house! I don’t touch anything”
Adrienne Sis.. “OCD” SURE LMAO
reemm338 and eating snacks in bed 😂
I never said ocd. N if i cant do anything ritethen y r u still here?
Jenny See ...what?
Umm OCD can show in different ways. There's not set list of exact things you gotta do
Shequaille Williams but they are not OCD, OCD is not just about cleaning, I think Adrienne is a semi neat freak
What I NEED is the 15-minute clips with our former co-host. Upload them quietly. I won't tell. We know you guys have them. Come on!
Lol we both know that ain't going to happen.
DarkGreenHat subscribe to this chick's channel: NAOKI V She has a few full episodes with our beloved former co-host.
Unless they've taken them down they still have a lot of old clips with Tamar, I've viewed some as recently as about a month ago.
They are not 15 mins long
I agree with Tamara I use the clicking noise on my phone I find it to help calm me down and I love using it so much.
I suddenly feel sympathy for Adrienne’s friends and family. If this is how you apologize (little or none at all) than how is anybody you’re with ever supposed to feel respected?
Can someone please explain to me why other US talk shows have no problems uploading entire new episodes or segments and the real keeps uploading 35 second videos or girl chats from 35 years ago? Serious question.
So true tho lol
This is what I want to know 😕
I notice a lot of other shows are uploaded by fan accounts. I don’t notice a ton of “the real” fan accounts uploading videos. Like the view is uploaded daily as soon as it’s done airing live. Love it! 😊
@Anne Day thanks!
Monica Cinco i think bcz they need Money 💰 💴 😂😂
*i watched this a while ago haha*
I jus want to talk in person yet i keep giving u what u want u give me not of what i want but to never leave me tho u didnt say u will always love me
Me too girl i was watching too
Thank god they reposted this. I’ve been looking for this episode but I forgot what it was called.
I totally agree with Loni and Jeannie. A is being shady when she says sorry that way.
Jeannie’s hair LOOK LIKE A WHOVILLE FROM THE GRINCH 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I love all them and how they talk to each other..true friends 🥰🥰
I do that with my hubby too, he has his own side and I have my own side. He’s organized messy w his space, at first it was hard for me but now I accepted it ❤️😀 u have to pick ur battles wisely lol
It's basically "I'm sorry that I hurt you unintentionally, but I'm not sorry for what I said or did" And for me, I could say that but I won't apologize if I don't mean it.
I agree with Adrienne...like sometimes I did nothing wrong but I'm trying to be the bigger person for the sake of our relationship. Call me insensitive but sometimes I really do mean "I'm sorry you feel that way" cuz those aren't my feelings and they aren't up to me. You allowed yourself to feel that way.
Ooooh that's a trigger for me. I can't stand people that don't know how to apologize. But.....can and does always ruin an apologize. I have two different people in my life right now that owe me apologies. One is a TH-camr that hasn't bothered to at all, and the other is a business associate that said to me, "I apologize if you were hurt but that is on you Bee" Ugh! Drives me crazy!
I'm with Adrienne when it comes to being OCD about cleanliness. I would NEVER want to share a bathroom with a man. I like my things the way I like them. I am very exacting.
Adam is me. I can be actually organized, but for the most part I have an organized mess. And I personally love the clicking sound on my phone.
I hate when somebody apologizes for my feelings, it’s worse than saying but
i’m with you tam!! i like the sound of typing on my phone
Gosh loni looks so so good in this attire on this episode! I mean as if she isn’t drop dead gorgeous in any and everything she wears 😘BUT she seriously does looks so beautiful here!!!! The makeup and hair and outfit is just my fav
Adrienne should really thank Israel's ex-wife for training him so well 😂
Unless he's always been that way
It could have been the way his mother raised him
@@emejota7850 Or you know, his dad. Wtf lol.
Thank you for giving as those super valueable info
Giving no apology at all is better than giving a half hearted apology when you don't think you did anything wrong.
I 100% agree
i love this video. thanks for the tips adrienne
I agree about saying but. I also agree about saying "you felt" because its just like Jeannie and Loni said, its basically saying, "that's not my problem."
My issue is that you should take accountability for your actions.
You cant make anyone FEEL what they don't WANT to feel. So we have to be aware that we're responsible for our own feelings.
Its perfectly fine to say someone's actions or words hurt your feelings but you have to remember that they're YOURS.
I get where Adrienne was trying to go but she did figure out the right way.
I agree with Jeannie and Loni. If your apology contains any form of the word "but," it's not a sincere apology. Adrienne even said that she purposely phrases apologies that way when she feels she isn't at fault.
I love the clicks too 🙌🏾
Okay I watched KUWTK when Adrienne and rob lived together. Rob complained about her being nasty and not cleaning after herself. She also says she eats in the bathroom, makes crumbs in her bed, and doesn't wash her hands. That is signs of someone who is nasty, not super clean. Sis must be referring to how she wants her maid to be.
ineedya123 that KUWTK was like 10 years ago. People change. Now that she has a nice house she probably wants to keep it nice 🤷🏾♀️
It takes a mature and humble person to sincerely apologize. Now if that person apologizes and does it many more times, then the apology wasn't sincere. At that point, I just leave that person alone permanently. Everyone slips here and there but when you've got those ones that's just toxic, then why are you trying to get an apology out of them. Use that energy to get away from them, permanently. Why waste time. Just not worth it.
I broke a friendship because of someone constantly apologising for MY feelings. It invalidated who I am and how I was feeling. Not a real friend.
They were your feelings. A person's perception is their responsibility!!! No one else's!
I like the clicking sounds. It's calming and therapeutic like they said.
Adrienne is so open to learning it’s amazing I love her
Once you say you're sorry for whatever the case may be. Don't keep bringing it up, because if you can't let it go, you're really not sorry!
Love you guys 💕💕💕💕
The way Jeanie was saying “ Android” had me weak 💀
That is so Scorpio is Adrienne “I am so sorry you felt…” lmaoooo
Stop the negativity. I know that there are certain things that y'all might not agree with, but at least, the ladies of the Real gets true and real on certain subjects, because they know what they are talking about, they have their opinions, they have great points and they have wonderful advices that are agreeable, so agree or not, that's it.
When I was going through tough times I cracked my iPhone 5 3 years ago (I was drunk and it dropped from my hand and hit concrete) it was done and I could only afford a cheap android. You best believe I kept using my iPhone for picture. And anything else. It was so cracked that pieces were missing. I tapped it with clear matte tape (my friends judged me and asked why I didn’t use the clear kind) 🤷🏽♀️ in the end the whole top of the screen had chipped away and gone to hell. I now have a 7plus and an Apple Watch. So life is looking up.
The problem with Adrianne's apology is the use of another word: "if". Using "if" negates a persons feelings. "I apologize IF I hurt your feelings". The fact is you DID hurt their feelings. There is no "if" about it. It would be better to say, "I am sorry for hurting your feelings". If you use if or but, you might as well not apologize because it is not sincere.
I LOVE THIS SHOW OMG
Just like love languages, we all have different apology languages. we each need something different when reconciling. It's a thing!
""If" I made you feel" in an apology is also a tad incorrect. Because they clearly felt some type of way. I'm sorry for making you feel.....etc.
Love you girls!!
All this stuff wouldn't matter if you meant the apology. There's nothing I hate more than false apologies. I'd much rather we just stay mad at each for a little bit until things cool down. Certain things there really isn't any point for apologies because it has to do with a person's personality (for example if someone is really sarcastic), and with that you have to decide whether or not you can accept those quirks or move on. However, I am totally against people lying and saying things just to shut a person up. The tactic doesn't work and if something is ingrained in you...it'll most likely keep coming up anyway. I think the best thing to do is have a genuine heart to heart and come up with real solutions instead of false apologies.
I am with Tamera and Adrienne in this one !
If you're judging someone over a cracked phone, an older phone, the phone brand or you're judging how someone else prefers their phone settings, I'd say you have some issues. How exactly does that effect you again?
I have a nerve condition that causes me to drop my phones several hundred times a year. I usually buy Samsung because they've held up the best but at some point, it'll crack. I'm not going to immediately run out & get it fixed. It's a pointless endeavor & you're judging a disabled person. That says way more about you than anyone else.
👍👍
A good apology separates impact from intent .
at 6:00 adrienne still said “if i made you feel”, loni approved of that apology but to loni’s previous comments, that would not actually work
'I'm sorry YOU felt' means the blame is on the other person. 'I'm sorry I MADE you feel', is accepting blame.
jeannie and lonnie were dramatic on this 😂
“I’m sorry that when I did ___ it came across as ____. It wasn’t my intention and I apologize.”
Disagree with Jeannie. Guys apologize like this all the time. They say I am sorry you felt that way, while completely avoiding taking responsibility for what they did. And if women expect better apologies, hey we aren't going to be sorry for having some standards.
Confused n still waiting for a question that has t been answered
Im p sure she’s talking about guys apologizing to guys
I dropped my phone and it cracked on the top left corner. It didn’t even affect the picture or anything but I went and had it fixed the next day. I could not handle it. I didn’t even realise I was that ocd about that until it happened
I never realized that till now
This is an old taping 😏
I thought I clicked on an old video LOL
That’s what I thought. Cause Adrienne looks a lot slimmer here! #noshade #justfacts
Jus cause its old doesmt mean it has lost value
That's why there is a difference apologize and sorry
Loni's makeup and hair was slaying on this old ass episode.
Skye A. Yep that color looks great on her.
Right?! She looks stunning
Lol the green bubble
I like the clicking sound too Tamera lol
i'm very happy to apologize. I can always admit that i'm not perfect and accept my responsibility. Sometimes though, the minute you apologize, the other person feels like you've taken all the responsibility and you're accepting blame. Sometimes, even if you are sorry for how you've reacted or spoken to someone, you can't apologize because then the other person feels like they "won." Some people don't see arguments as a means for change, hashing things out, airing the issues, they think it's just noise. Those are the type of people who twist and corrupt your apologies to make themselves feel like they're always in the right. Some people just don't deserve apologies because they use it as away to avoid blame or taking responsibility. "YOU apologized so you admitted it's all your fault." nah fam f*** that.
My husband leaves little hairs from shaving that drives me nuts haha. HOWEVER I tend to leave hair strands and clog the shower drain because I have long hair! It’s a two way street
PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY THAT . And i completely ignore everything you say after BUT, and your creditability is shot. The same thing when someone says YOU FELT. Smh.
Aww I just love Tamera ☺️
Me and Adrienne got that Scorpio in us I totally got what she was saying, BUT I also understand what they were saying too...gotta put your pride to the side for the end goal 🙂
Blessings to the family of the TSA agent that jumped to his death at the Orlando Airport.
Saying "I'm sorry you feel that way" is not considerate. It is not acknowledging *your* fault or mistake in the matter. I think a sincere apology sounds more along the lines of this "I'm so sorry that I hurt you." Simple as. Apologies take a level of humility that I think every human needs to practice. You don't lose anything by owning up to your mistake, you in fact grow from it. I just think if the person matters enough to you, you would put your pride aside and apologize with humility because you did not intend to hurt them and you want to avoid it in future. It's hard but worth it.
I LOVE Loni's laugh❤❤❤❤❤
Adrienne is talking too damn much in the beginning 😩
She takes over, so sick of her, but I love the other ladies.
Actually other people's feelings aren't our responsibility, that is their stuff (learned this in therapy). But if they would like an apology, that is still okay. "I'm sorry I did _____." "I'm sorry I made you feel _____" is incorrect, because you can't make someone feel something when they are secure in themselves and their emotions. You can bring up a hurt/boundary to someone by using this script- "When you did/said/etc. ______(such as: ignored me the other day), what I thought about that was ______ (for example: I am unimportant), and about that I feel ______ (for example: anger)."
Just some therapy things I've learned. Learn to be secure in yourself and take responsibility for your emotions.
Sincere question: what is the purpose behind uploading older clips from the show?
When you say but after a sorry your just looking for a fight! Lol
Anything before “but” isn’t valid. This has been around foreverrer. It’s being brought to light
I am on the fence cause I have OCD but I love an organized mess cause I know where everything is where I have last left it.
Adrienne knows what they're saying. She literally said "cause I'm not going to really apologize for being rude if I dont feel like I was." So I'm sorry YOU feel...