@@doc52901Damn 😂😭... She could still have worked as an instructor just not permanent. I've seen it done before but you're restricted on what you can teach.
She should have a respectable job in academie, if not as a research assistant maybe as head librarian in a scientific library or something like that. Journalism was never perfect for her type.
Many, many, MANY years ago I was applying to colleges and auditioning for theater programs. I remember going to the NYU audition and the woman who spoke to us said something so important: "Each of you is probably the star of your high school 's drama program. But now you're going up against other stars. The playing field is different in college." It wasn't said in a mean way, and I think it was an eye-opener for most of us. Rory was told that once, by Paris. And she panicked for a few hours, until she got back home and everyone reassured her she was all things great and wonderful and not to worry. So, no, it wasn't a surprise that she turned out the way she did.
its so clear that without the external validation to soothe her ego, rory doesn't inherently feels like she's good enough hence why she feels rly entitled to that validation. its basically a way to compensate a lack of inner self worth, and i feel like this is why she easily fell apart by mitchum's statement.
@@cannedcondensedmilk totally agree that it’s difficult to become successful while dealing with mental health issues, need for external validation, and a lack of believing in yourself. She’s basically just a sad girl who wants to be guided by others but has been raised with a complex from her family and neighbors over needing to prove what a strong and smart and independent woman she is. She only has dreams of being Christiane Amanpour because she needs to impress the people who look up to her. But she doesn’t have a personal guiding star to keep her motivated and eager for the future, she’s fumbling through the dark. It’s no wonder she ends up feeling lost and alone. She never feels good enough for anything but she knows that she’s supposed to have a good life (especially coming from a wealthy family name). It makes her moody, and irritating, and human. I haven’t been able to watch GG for a while because it hurts seeing these lives be dramatic and see dreams fall apart 😂 Mitchum is kind of cool honestly like he sucks and I’d probably dislike him irl but he really does challenge her....she just isn’t ready for that world. She doesn’t have the mindset and she doesn’t have the passion, Rory’s just coasting along on the idea of a career she decided on to impress others at like, age 14. With all of the maturity of a preteen. Not surprising it doesn’t work out 😭 it’s not solid footing, she’s so focused on needing to be a fancy journalist that any steps taken to get there never feel right to her and she falls over aaaaa I’m rambling so bad it’s just sad that she constantly falls over because she has an idea of who she needs to be to be worthy but can’t take steps to get there and subconsciously never ever feels worthy 😂
well maybe it was good they told Rory not to worry. yet so many people tell you not to worry after telling all these reasons TO worry so it's like duh how can you not be a little worried?
Rory is what happens when you are always told how great you are when you're young and then when you get into the real world, criticism hits you like a truck. She reminds of kids in "gifted" programs at schools. None of the ones I went to school with have done much even though they were the "best and brightest".
The reality is when school (k-12) comes easy and naturally to some they never learn how to face challenges. Also a lot of gifted kids never had to study in school so when they get to college they don't even know how. When the subject matter gets hard and too tough to just ease thru they don't have to skills to handle it. Many hit college unprepared and when the good grades no longer come easily it's like crashing to earth without a parachute. Your entire identity is being good at school and then you're no longer that. Now you're just a small fish in a big pond and... You realize you aren't special. That'd be a life altering realization for anyone, and beyond that the world is a capitalist dystopia. It's hard to handle when you think you're going to grow up and be this successful professional only to graduate college and realize all this shit was a lie, you took on all these loans, just so that the best you can do is maybe become a teacher or just go back to school for another 2 years to delay entry into the hell that is the workplace. Yeah, we all end up having to suck it up, and so I think the hate ppl have for Rory is because she's annoying for thinking she's too good to settle like the rest of us. Her entitlement is insufferable, but I understand again that it's because she's been sheltered, propped up, and constantly adored her entire life.
I think the best way to put it is: as she got older, Rory became the exact person that Lorelai didn't want her to become: An entitled little brat who thinks she can use Richard and Emily to get away with anything. Everything lorelai was worried about when the show started ended up coming true by Season 5 God's, she's insufferable in season 6 🤦♂️
I love that her character ended up that way . Was Lorelai too lax and not parental enough? Or was Lorelai pushing Rory to hard to not make her same mistakes that she coddled her? OR is it that no matter how you parent....your child will be what they will be?
I think a big problem is that she had an absentee father. Yes, her father loved her and did try to make time for her, but he wasn't living in the same house, Rory didn't see him that often, and he formed a new family with another woman. Luke doted on her too much and also could be a positive role model but was in no position to apply discipline. This show does a really good job of displaying how detrimental single motherhood is to a child's development. Lorelei did the best she could but without a strong father figure, Rory falters.
Tbh, I sometimes can’t help but think that Mitchum’s “you don’t got it” speech is a test for a lot of his interns. If his interns don’t meet the criteria he holds them up to, he tells them this little speech to either motivate them to do better or find a field better suited for them. To me, Mitchum seems like a down to earth asshole. He knows he’s privileged, he acknowledges it and even admits when he uses it to his advantage (like offering Rory an internship to apologize for his family’s behaviour) so he seems like an honest man. He’s not an asshole for the sake of it. Which is why I believe the above
I thought so, too! If she had decided to go for journalism nonetheless she could have proven him wrong. But she decided to steal a boat, drop out of Yale, and prove that he was right.
He literally says to her when they talk again at some point that she should have just proven him wrong, then. He even says in the og speech that maybe she will turn out to be great, but from his recent observation she isn't cut out and he said it's because she didn't speak up and contribute which as a journalist you have to be very self initiative and NOT be afraid to ruffle feathers or insert where it may be inappropriate. She did only excel at the office work and did nothing in terms of proving she is a passionate journalist. She may be a good writer (which is why she finds her way to novelist) but she is not really avid journalist material.
As someone who actually went into journalism, I thought it was a test too. Journalism can be a cut throat field with a lot of critique and feedback. You have to be willing to take it and use it to make you better. Veterans in the field tend to judge those entering in. Was it rude? Sure. But her reaction to it proved to me that it possibly wasn’t the right field for her.
I never got that Mitchum was an asshole to her. He was direct and blunt but her reaction was so petulant and whiny it exposed her entitlement instantly.
I agree. And Richard being angry with Mitchum about telling Rory the truth is very hypocritical, because Richard is as shrewd about business as Mitchum, if not more. Remember Jason, and how Richard screwed him over for a deal with his father? I understand that hearing from your idol of sorts that “you don’t got it” would be devastating. But, to completely change your entire personality and ideology from one conversation just shows how fragile and privileged she is, she doesn’t understand the realities of the world. She doesn’t acknowledge the fact that everyone would not be instantly in love with her.
Mitchum actually made a really astute point over Rory not being cut out for journalism, since she does really unprofessional things, such as fail to prepare for an interview, and fall asleep while interviewing a subject.
she also lacks drive, which we get to see since the beginning but it's not until that point that I was like wait, she does lack it. Sure in the first seasons we see her work as hard as she can to catch up but she didn't picked a hard sport (whichvwe only see once), she didn't care to make friends even for the sake of connections, she only volunteered because Paris told her and the same with her being vice-president. But to me it was until Mitchum told her she could be a great assistant because she didn't take the lead in things when it made sense
@@SerenaSkybourne and even that mean/bluntness is mostly just him being direct and honest with her. Like he's an incredibly successful guy, his insight is genuinely valuable and that he is giving it to her in earnest is a good thing.
I think so too, honestly. Especially with how she responded to the criticism. As a high profile journalist like she wanted, she was going to be facing uncooperative or hostile people on the regular. If Mitch's blunt criticism was enough to make her spiral to the extreme, there's no way she would've handled journalism work on the level she wanted. Like girl who cares if one man said some negative thing, the level of journalist you wanna do risk their LIVES to report stories.
I’ve started to see the whole series as a cautionary tale about privilege. As much as Lorelei rejected her own privilege, she still held onto the idea that the “best” for your kid was an elite education. She says in the first or second episode of the series that it was her dream for Rory to go to Harvard because she didn’t get that chance. That idea, spawned from her own privileged upbringing, forced Rory into a world of entitlement (her grandparents’ world). She was never allowed to be content in her small town, middle class life because “it wasn’t enough”. She always had that expectation to be more than her mother looming over her. And when she couldn’t reach those goals, she’d self destructed.
I always empathize with Rory. I went to a nice high school just because I got a scholarship. Everyone always told me I was "the perfect daughter". Then in uni, everything came crashing down. I went to a nice uni through a scholarship and it was the moment I realized I'm not the only person with a high IQ. And the paradox is that I acted as 20-something years old my whole life but in that moment of my life, I started acting like an emotional teenager. The fact that that happened to Rori too, and the fact that I couldn't pass exams as easily as in high school hit me. I had "the luck" of not having anyone rich in my family who could sustain not doing anything for months, so I had to get over it and my life ended up better than hers in the finale
I always felt Richard and Emily pampered Rory a lot and did those things partly out of fear that she would cut them off the same as Lorelai did and they where desperate for that not to happen. I like that Rory made mistakes because that's part of life but I hated that she never seemed to learn from them or take responsibility and everyone around her like her mom did the same and blamed everyone but Rory for every mistake.
I think people were too critical of Richard and Emily. If you listen to Lorelei she often tells stories of how she would intentionally do or say things to embarrass her parents in front of their friends, constantly getting into trouble, and finally ending up pregnant at 16 which they tried to support her and Christopher. His parents completely rejected Lorelei and Rory and even Christopher for the most part. Where Richard and Emily tried to help them, maybe not they way they wanted it but they didn’t abandon them. Lorelei then ran off with her baby at 16 cutting out her parents completely so they couldn’t even know their only grandchild. So when the opportunity arose they took advantage to be able to get to know Rory. I think they saw in Rory what they had hoped for in Lorelei and wanted her to succeed where they thought Lorelei had not and had chosen such a hard life. I believe this is why the really went overboard with handing things over to Rory. While it had good intentions it didn’t fully work out the way they wanted, but they were trying a new way of dealing with Rory then they had with their own daughter and neither way worked.
@@LindzFletch17 Which is insane, I think. Even if it was Logan’s idea, any normal person would have said no to just stealing a boat for no other reason than driving around a bit. It would have been worse enough if it hadn’t been her idea. I was literally laughing when she was in court because that was one of the few moments when Rory actually got what she deserves. This judge actually saw the kind of person she was.
As rude as Logans dad was, he had a point. She's not tough enough to be the investigative journalist that she dreamed of being. She was in college she still had time to change her major
@@SerenaSkybourne true. And at that time journalism already started to get in trouble. It would've been better for her to change majors and try something else. I never understood that idea of dropping out in a middle of a fully paid semester. And a year in their lives really showed her entitlement. Not wanting to work for an online magazine in a time where print started to die.
i agree, i think she definitely could have continued her career in the dar or found something similar as she was really good at event planning and she seemed to enjoy it
@@beatricegracetaylor1612 probably better a decent carreer instead of that bored housewife job. But any other major at college trying to figure out what she could be good in.
@@stephjovi she might as well become a housewife with her current career plan. Novelists usually start off with a regular job and are writing in their free time.
When you mentioned how you thought Rory's downfall started with her knowing her grandparents I was shook, because I've seen this show numerous times over the years and always tried to pinpoint moments where Rory "started to go wrong" and it never occurred to me that her grandparents were that bad of an influence, but it's true. I think it's possible Rory could have grown up to be a very different person had she never met her grandparents and to an extent I think the entire lifestyle revolving around Ivy League schools and wealth did more harm than good. When you look at a character like Jess and how he turned out without all of that, I think it puts it into perspective a little more. It's tough because Lorelai was trying to do right by Rory getting her into Chilton and asking her parents for help but maybe it would have been better for her if she had had to work harder to achieve her dreams like Lorelai had to do, instead of basically having things handed to her.
I think this is it. If you had to summarise where Rory went wrong. I understand that Lorelai felt like Chilton was the only solid option. But it became an issue when Rory had it handed to her
@@SerenaSkybourne like rory deserved to be in Chilton but she should've worked for it, maybe have to help around her grandparents house or get a small job, like maybe work at Luke's on the weekend to earn going to Chilton but she didn't, like I felt like the only reason people didn't notice the downfall was because of Paris, with how rory was, she got praised and handed stuff and she was bassicaly liked by everyone but then Paris came along and she didn't like rory at the start but then she became a healthy balance, they needed eachother like in college, who got Paris out of her office when she became the head of the school paper (or whatever the role is called) oh yeah, rory did, they balanced eachother out, which made rorys downfall harder to spot
I don’t believe it was the grandparents at all. I think it was the influence of Chilton and being surrounded by kids that was just as smart or even smarter than her. Her grandparents just made it possible. The grandparents mistake was trying to make her “fit” it. Having the parties and showcasing her. I think they did this with good intentions but they wanted her to be accepted by the upper class people of Chilton so they got Rory what they thought she “needed” to fit in. Rory’s decisions were her own. She wanted Chilton because she wanted Harvard because that was her mother’s dream. Rory actually was never following her own path. She started following her mother’s path and then started following her grandparents. She changed her mind from Harvard, her mother’s dream, to Yale, her grandfather’s reality. She only does what other people dream or have done. Rory is easily influenced and easily can manipulate the people around her because she is a “nice person.” Honestly, she makes terrible decisions when she is thinking for herself and not following someone else’s life plan. She is not an independent thinker, not much of a problem solver, and is a disaster of an adult because she is left to her own devices, there’s no one to lead.
Her having a relationship with her grandparents is the best thing she could have done for her future because in all likelihood they leave it all to her after they pass. That's probably the real life she wants, things handed to her and she can just do whatever she wants without having to worry about sustaining herself
Wealth and privilege affects people differently though.. and she let it get to her head. Also even if she didn't meet her grandparents, Lorelai's parenting was more of a bestfriend than a mom and sometimes she would sugarcoat things for Rory or let a lot of things slide because she didn't want her daughter to grow up resenting her. But in the long run, the privilege she got from her wealthy grandparents and the parenting she got from Lorelai really unprepared her for life after college so she failed at job interviews etc.
Here is why I actually like Rory (Character-wise, not necessarily as a person): I think the downfall that everyone talks about was inevitable, not necessarily only for the reason most people give (that she was spoiled as a child and never had any consequences), but also based on a writing perspective. The character of Rory in the beginning was perfect, she literally could do no wrong to everyone around her, I remember Luke even telling Lorelai once that Rory was like the angel on top of the Christmas Tree, she was put on a pedestal not only for the townsfolk, but also for the audience. The problem with this is, it was impossible for her to have any sort of character growth because she was already the "happy-ever-after-type person" that most characters become at the end of a show. There was no way for her to go but down. So the mistakes she made, which yes were a little over the top but still human, made her seem like this terrible person. But with a character like Paris for example, she started off as someone you were meant to hate and grow to love. If Paris would have done any of the things that makes Rory a 'bad person', no one would bat an eye or mention it, because we look for the way she has experienced growth over the course of the series, which was impossible for Rory to do.
I think a big problem is that she had an absentee father. Yes, her father loved her and did try to make time for her, but he wasn't living in the same house, Rory didn't see him that often, and he formed a new family with another woman. Luke doted on her too much and also could be a positive role model but was in no position to apply discipline. This show does a really good job of displaying how detrimental single motherhood is to a child's development. Lorelei did the best she could but without a strong father figure, Rory falters.
This !! Emily and Lorelai are also flawed characters yet we love them . Rory is written as this "perfect character" and the moment she showed her flaws suddenly the audience couldn't stand her
@@davidsumner7604 I don't think Rory having her father in her life would have made her go down a better path. Remember Lorelai felt need to be responsible and discipline with Gigi then Chris who didn't even know how to change a diaper after having a kid for over a year and basically just left her with a nanny 24/7 (He even planned to send his 4 year old daughter to Paris alone before Lorelai stepped in). A bigger thing is Emily and Richard coddling Rory and undermining Lorelai every chance they got. If Luke and Lorelai had got together when Rory younger I could definitely see him having more of a hand in raising her would have been a plus, especially to support Lorelai when Rory's grandparents overstepped their boundaries.
The fact that Rory was obsessed with Harvard but never even knew the bare minimum requirements to get in was always puzzling, especially considering that she went to all those fairs. It was weird that Paris freaked out that episode where the college admissions officers came in because she always seemed five steps ahead. For a school like Chilton, wouldn't they have had more recourses and college days dedicated to things like that? As for Mitchum, he wasn't wrong, but he had questionable motives about why he gave her that feedback in the first place, but Rory should've kept that in mind since she was certainly aware of that fact going INTO the internship.
@@Blehiii she didn't have any community service hours and barely any extra curricular activities outside of academics before Paris had told her. how on earth did she expect to get into Harvard when all she had were excellent grades? that's like only half the battle.
Rory is a great example of "gifted kid syndrome" wherein she was very much so praised and put up on a pedestal in her childhood and teenage years, only to realize that things were not going to be the same in college. Seeing her become noticeably more entitled as the seasons progress only shows that she wasn't very prepared for "adult life" and that nothing will come as easily as it had before. It was realistic portrayal of everything concerning growing up and realizing you do have to work as hard as everyone else.
I don't think she was praised to be gifted necessarily. I think she was mostly praised for being responsible and put together. "A good kid". Then she started experimenting (messing up) in her twenties, in stead of as a teenager, like you're supposed to. I'm missing that a bit in the video. Even though Lorelai was a really good parent imo, her having almost no friends (just acquintances) and relying on her daughter to support her is bound to have an effect on Rory.
I disagree with something that feels like no one talks about. Rory is far from perfect from the beggining, and I don't know how so many people have missed it. If you pay attention you'll see. She always had a sense of entitlement, like when she got the first D of her life at Chilton, and flipped out that time they didn't let her take some other test because she was late after studying all night. Even her friendship with Lane is more about Rory than anything else. The way she had almost a sense of superiority on academic life, and people who deviated from that were not ambicious enough. She mostly disrespected any authority figure that challenged her views, ever since season one. The way Rory talks to her family, her mother especially, as if she's the family's standard of maturity and they should learn from her. All of Rory's boyfriends have always been on stand-by too. She thought of them as HER options; she flirted with/kissed Jess while dating Dean, slept with Dean even though he was married, went out with Jess and only told him she was dating when Logan showed up. Not to mention how much she cheated on poor Paul... I love her character, but she needs some tough love.
I agree that Rory treated her boyfriends as stand-bys and acted like she was entitled to them. I have a more sympathetic take on Dean and less so of one for Rory compared to Serena. While Dean's also no peach since he dated and married Lindsey to basically make Rory jealous/force Rory's hand, I see those as acts of desperation to get a chance to be with 'the one' again since she kept showing interest in him even after Jess. Although on the outside his marriage looked fine, Dean didn't actually love Lindsey so him saying to Rory that his marriage was struggling wasn't actually a lie on his end because it's not what his heart wanted. He wanted Rory. Dean shackled himself in a loveless marriage (on his end) trying to get Rory to even _notice_ him after the Jess thing. Was it a terrible decision on his part to get married and then pursue Rory afterwards? Absolutely, but I also think that Dean couldn't see his codependency on Rory due to her treatment of him. Rory continually kept doing a push-and-pull with Dean and I think that affected Dean's ability to properly detach from her especially since she kept coming back to him/showing interest in one way or another. She was also his first girlfriend and one that he was extremely attached to. Rory always kept Dean as a fall back which probably gave Dean the impression that he might still have a chance to be with 'the one'. Rory really messed with his self-perception and attachment style. Too bad he didn't realize that Rory didn't actually love him if she was treating him that way because then he never would have proposed to Lindsey in the first place. I'm not saying this to excuse his affair because he obviously should be held accountable and should have ended his marriage first but Rory had just as much of a hand in it and should equally be held accountable. Rory also flat out says in her letter that she doesn't regret that it happened at all and said to Lorelai that she was basically entitled to "her" Dean. At least Dean cared that he had hurt Lindsey unlike Rory. It's also a pattern for Rory whereas it's a one-and-done with Dean.
Thank you for covering Rory, Serena! As Rory got older, she just became more entitled and spoilt. In the revival, she kept forgetting about her boyfriend Paul, using him as a crutch after she was floundering in her journalism career. It makes sense, as she was used to being coddled in her small town, and she just couldn't handle that other people were just as smart as she was. Plus, the "joke" about Paul was just mean spirited, not funny.
I do think the writing of Rory was ultimately pretty realistic. It's not pleasant, but it's very realistic. Lots of gifted kids eventually hit the point of having to grapple with the fact that they actually aren't that special and that they will have to sometimes work for things. On top of that, Rory is universally beloved and praised in her growing up years and then, at a crucial time in her life, she is given access to immense privilege via her grandparents' wealth and connections. So, yeah, I find it very realistic that she wound up kind of spoiled and entitled. The way she was raised just kind of led her to feel like she should just get what she wanted, like she just deserved whatever she wanted. I wish we could have seen her growing past that in the revival, but....well, maybe that was ultimately realistic too.
As an former journalism major I can tell from experience that Logan's dad was right, she was just didn't have what it takes to be a journalist nor she did have the intention to develop the necessary skills to become one. I loved Rory because my personality was similar to hers (overachiever, quiet, booklover kinda of girl) and I also was studying journalism in college and wanted to be an investigative journalist. Seeing her was like seeing myself in the mirror. Around the same time I was watching season 5 I also experimented a crisis because I just didn't feel like journalism was made for me, I lacked the necessary skills to succed in the media world and I recogniced some of these flaws in Rory too. In my case I was not an extrovert, I was not "metida" (in spanish is the person who finds a way to be involved in anything they want and even be part of it easily), my interview skills were bland and I was not ready to confront (or even argue) someone with questions. Being a journalist is more than just be good at writing and it's essential to know how to handle criticism, specially when all your work will be published to everyone to see if you are not already on tv exposing your skills as a journalist to the world. I think that Rory was lacking a lot of these essential skills and really didn't put a lot effort to develop them. If she really wanted to be a journalist, she would've work hard to prove Logan's dad how wrong he was. At the end of the series I saw her a little bit more motivated to change and follow that path, but that though was destroyed when I saw how she ended up in the reebot. PS: I changed my major to social communication (that focuses on social projects) and I couldn't be happier. What I love is not interviewing but helping people through creative campaigns and activities. I think that if Rory woul've try other subjects and majors, she would've find her true passion.
Yes, that makes so much sense! When Rory becomes envolved with Emily’s DAR she is a really good planner and worker for the group! She is constantly praised by the members and she seems to really like the job. Rory was definitely gifted to do community organization type activities over journalism.
Rory sleeping with Dean isn't as bad as a fact that she never realized it was bad and didn't have any real consequences. So she never grew into a better person and in the revival many years later she's behaving the same way.
@@oooh19but she's not book smart either. Getting good grades in a public school and getting good grades in a school for exceptional students who have all been tutored since children is not the same thing. Of course I understand if it was hard in the beginning, but she literally is average in terms of Chilton's student grade average. I don't think her grades could begin to compare to Paris's who is ACTUALLY book smart. Rory made no effort to actually try and better herself, her grades, her personality or anything lol
no blame to rory for moving out of her grandparents' house. they started out friendly, but they were just trying to take control of her life and emily got more and more aggressive to her, and richard joined right in with trying to police rory's sex life. rory got a taste of how they treated lorelai.
The way she did it was wrong though. She just packed up her stuff and left without saying anything. Rather she had Colin and Finn pack up her stuff. She didn’t even have the decency to tell either of her grandparents that she was leaving, or at least call them after she had settled in back at Yale. Emily was a bit too much when it came to controlling everything with Rory. It’s one thing to wake her up when she had been sleeping in past eight thirty or whatever, it’s another thing to lay out her clothes and tell her what to wear for a DAR event. Richard and Emily wanting their reverend to talk to Rory about having sex was uncalled for. They were both a bit too much. The way Rory also said there were too many strings with these people, regarding when her and Lorelei were wanting Chris to pay for Yale. I think it was so rude and disrespectful for her say as if they hadn’t given her free rent and a whole place all to herself.
@@malloryweeks3306 i disagree that rory should have told them. they were being abusive and she had decided to cut them off. i only wish she had stuck with that and refused to go back to their house for dinner.
I dislike Rory for a whole host of reasons, but strangely enough the one time I feel she is the most relatable and I feel the most sorry for her is when she wants to drop out of Yale. In the scene where she's discussing it with Lorelai, she is clearly very lost and is starting to realise that her dream might not be her own, but one that her mother, grandparents and people around her have put on her. She's trying to work out what to do and wants to take a step back and see what else is out there. But instead of trying to listen to her and understand where she's coming from, Lorelai s angry and responds with criticism and "NO". This I think is maybe really Rory's downfall, the part where no one tries to help her out of a rut and a crisis of who she wants to be (which we've all been through) and instead continues to push her and doesn't give her space to think and find out who she really is.
This is a good point. My only counter to it, though, is that, with Rory's privilege, she wasn't going to do that work of figuring out what she wanted if given that time, which is exactly what we see. She spends most of that time off being incredibly wishy-washy and directionless, just not even bothering to think about what career she might want. It would have been different if dropping out of school was going to mean that she had to get a job and fend for herself for a while. It might have pushed her to give more thought to what she wanted. But as it was, dropping out of school for Rory meant just kind of doing nothing at all, and even when she gets out of the rut, she just goes right back to the same path she was on before, and we see in the revival that that didn't work out for her. I agree that she probably would have benefitted from a gap period where she took a true reassessment of her goals, but I don't know that she was set up to be given that. She wound up just being coddled instead.
I was actually a bit surprised that Rory chose to become a journalist. Because she is quite shy and more of an introvert. I think that she would so much better as a librarian because she loves to read.
@@Jessica.Shawnte Actually far from it. A librarian specialize in organizing information and cataloging. They can work in many different fields that includes librarianship and information. While authors write books .
@@Jessica.Shawnte sorry. 🙂 But I was thinking Journalists mostly works on writing articles and often that includes interview strangers and because she is shy and a bit introverted I didn’t though didn’t it suit her.
Also with the intern situation, I’m sure she felt like she couldn’t speak out because she was literally an intern, which is often seen as less than a “real” employee. Especially back in the time this was set.
True but in my experience (when I was an intern), I, too, was spoken harshly to by doctors and older professionals I respected- they told me I had to speak up (well, they yelled and belittled me) and yes, I cried because it was rotten BUT I used their harsh criticism to then speak up and share my opinions. The way Rory responded to that criticism was a great reflection of her character, which turns out, was extremely fragile 🥲
@@okoala62 maybe people shouldn't belittle others. Like do we really have to call someone extremely fragile for not putting up with that sort of treatment. That treatment shouldn't be acceptable at work. It's not some inevitable fact of life. It's a culture we all feed into, both those of us who perpetrate it and those of us who excuse it or use our survival of it as some perverse badge of honour.
@@okoala62my orthodontist is like this. He gets annoyed and raises his voice when I ask a question. I’ve given the old man a break tho. He fell at one of my appointments,
@@IshtarNikeyeah that would be nice but we can’t change how the generations before us treat us and there will always be idiots. Journalism specifically is a field where one needs a thick skin, be outspoken, opinionated and be able to handle criticism. She didn’t really have that. She kept quiet or agreed with everyone. She run away the first time somebody didn’t treat her like a princess.
It was mostly a matter of perspective. She was raised in a very small town where everyone knew each other, where everyone goes to the same school, same shops, same restaurants, etc. People saw her and immediately believed her to be some sort of prodigy because everyone else in town was just ''a normal guy''. The show REALLY emphasizes how people in Stars Hollow aren't the brightest, multiple times, while showing Rory as a sort of miracle because she reads all day long and studies a lot. In a real city, heck, in a big city like New York, Rory was just another nobody.
This video really helped me understand Marty’s role in the story! For a long time I never understood “the point” of their tiny relationship arc, but seeing her rejection of him/acceptance of Logan as symbolic of rejecting her upbringing and embracing her grandparent’s world totally makes sense and never occurred to me before.
It always interested me that Rory wanted to be a journalist, but was very set on going to an Ivy League school, instead of schools that are well known for the journalism program. Yale didn't even have a journalism program until 2006 irl, when the show was nearly finished airing. loved the video. Most of my problems with Rory came about with the revival. I feel like the writers were writing like their was no time jump, and just carrying on with their plans after their last season without regard for how it would make the characters look to be in that place developmentally still. and ooff at the scene with Loralei yelling at Luke for the accident, it's the scene that makes me the most angry and disappointed with her. It's like she doesnt see Jess as a fellow child at all.
I am not a Jess fan, but I do agree that Lorelai went overboard. I hate it when Lorelai yells at Luke that he “HAS” an obligation to her and Rory, and the “town,” (but you know she just throws it out there not be “obvious” about her true feelings). Hello, Jess was his nephew, his family; he dind’t have no obligation to anyone but his underage nephew.
I‘m not sure how it works in the US, but when I got interested in journalism (and I did actually end up working as a journalist for a couple of years) everyone I met from the field stressed how important it was to study what I wanted to write about/report on and that all the „journalist tools“ would be picked up on the job. So from that pov it would make sense that she is not settling for a journalism programme (where I‘m from they‘re even sort of frowned upon)
I agree what you said that Mitchum line could be sexist but I still think that Rory wasn't meant to be a jornalist: she wrote that the bailarina was fat because Doyle wanted to her be harsh, she had that "rock fan" vibe when she was with Lane, she was a pop culture fan near of Lorelai, etc she doesn't have a true personality or a opinion, when she does, she ends up hurting someone doing a terrible comment or being a hypocrite, she doesn't have a good critical opinion for example her article talking about rich people not realising that she is one of them just because she lived in a small town is terrible.
I think Rory was in the right to ask her grandparents to pay for university if her mother was too proud to. It really bothered me that they complained about not qualifying for financial aid because they didn’t *want* to ask her grandparents and Lorelai didn’t *want* Rory to get a loan (like everyone else has to!). They did not deserve financial aid over others that didn’t have those options. As someone who went to a school that held Oxford up as the end goal (like Chilton and Harvard) I also wish they had done one of two things about her decision to go to Yale: 1. Either had her interview at Harvard and fail the interview like lots of other intelligent people have done. 2. Spent a bit of time realising she only wanted to go to Harvard because her family / school / society had told her it was the end goal for someone smart and realised it wasn’t actually the best for her. They sort of danced around this with the pro-con list but I wished they delved into it a bit more.
i agree except in america (for the first one) people don’t really fail interviews and it’s more of a way for alumni to get to know your personality and if you’re a good fit for the school, i know in the uk the interviews are much more important and formal, especially for oxford. instead i wish they focused more on her not doing enough/cliche extracurriculars and not sticking out as a candidate
@@mischa4873 tbh, I was a bit surprised when she got into so many great schools (while Paris, for example, didn’t). Rory was a great student, but what else did she have to offer? Vice president, that’s it, or did I forget about something? Paris, on the other hand, seemed more qualified, even though she wasn’t the nicest.
I actually think rory becoming a teacher would be by far the best option because she gets to teach kids how to have fun with school, if she was an English teacher I think it'd be amazing for her and the kids she always felt like someone who could show others how to make something more than just work but an activity, I think it would also give her some perspective and grow her as a character
I still have empathy for Rory because I saw a lot of me in her. I was a brilliant and very smart child and a good student, and my college carrer was good too until I had a painful break up, from that point I dropped the college and I started to make a lot of mistakes,I lost myself and now after 10 years I'm starting to recognize myself again and I have come back to college. So I can't be hard to Rory,we are humans even if we want always to be brilliant and perfect.
Rory had a whole town telling her she was special and unique, and then she had access to mind bending amounts of money thanks to her grandparents. Look at Richards outrage at her getting community service for stealing the boat- he thought she was above punishment. She was so bizarrely written at times too- she goes from underdog to shining star in no time- she's practically in charge of the community service team- telling them what to do like she is somehow set apart from others and then she's acting like an old hand at the newspaper....it's then written so that the people who are realistic with her are the villains. Mitchum was correct she'd make a good assistant but not a journalist, she doesn't have what it takes.
Fully agreed! And not sure if it’s just her character or the actor’s acting but the take charge scenes of her at the community service and at the Yale paper was cringey at best - like it didn’t suit her at all
Of all the Rory videos I've ever seen: no one has mentioned Marty. Thank you. Season 1 Rory would've fallen for him immediately. Marty was definitely painted as a "nice guy" by the end, which is a bummer because he's way more than that. But I believe he could've been a genuinely healthy fit for her.
Rory’s downfall reflects what you see a lot in higher education - people who were hard workers/effective learners in a classroom situation who are good at passing exams suddenly realise that they have no independent thought. No creativity. No drive (other than passing an exam and coming top of the class). They often burnout before they graduate. A lot of the folks I encountered during my masters and doctorate degrees were late bloomers. They did ok at school (pre-18) but really soared when they could control their own learning and pursue their passion. Whether the writers intended to show this in the show… or just descended into melodrama is open to discussion lol.
I understand this very well and cannot agree more. I was a good student for my whole life and I have no independent thought, a creative thing, a little courage. I just have good grades and nothing other than in my life. I am graduated now and I do not know how to deal with life
For me, Rory was too stunted and sheltered, and never had to deal with hardships so once she finally hit walls, she spirals. I didn't get to really make friends when I was younger once I had freedom I spiraled myself for a while there, before getting on track better.
My theory is that the revival was written to be the actual final season in 2006, but since Amy and Dan had left the show, no one knew the original ending season. So Amy took this original ending and tweeked some things to update it, but there are still remnants of the original 2006 script all over: that blogging/internet media hasn't occurred to Rory yet (this would have been new in 2006). The references to There will be Blood are dated in the late 20teens. And the final scene has a completely different implication when it's a 22 year old girl who just graduated from yale rather than a 32 year old woman who can't get her life together. And the men in the triangle would also be facing greater implications if they were also in their early 20s. There are themes of identity, struggle, etc, themes that befit a twenty-something much better than a thirty-something.
Exactly. I was disgusted by the writer who chose wanting her original ending over storycraft and serving the life that used to be in the characters. Lorelai still has issues with marrying Luke after 10 years?? Rory had zero growth. The quips were not funny - many jokes were in poor taste at best and downright cruel at worst. The references to pop culture were outdated - let's not forget following Lorelai on her Wild excursion some time afrer the book and movie were in the mainstream. The best part of it is Emily and I think it's only bc they HAD TO be creative with her after Richard's death. She grows and is still herself, still flawed and hilarious, but she struggles and finds a purpose apart from Richard and the DAR.
This is what I think too. It's not that the revival is a bad story. It's just that it's ten years too late. It's hard to buy that these are the things the characters are going through a full ten years later, when it would have made sense as an immediate continuation of where they were at the end of the show. Amy Sherman-Palladino would have done better to give up a little bit of how she had imagined the ending and adjust it to the amount of time that had passed.
To be fair, Mitchum was absolutely correct. When you're in a situation where there's a topic open to the floor and everyone keeps glancing at you, you SPEAK up! the fact that she just kept grinning like no thoughts heads empty. Rory was always proved to be a writer, not a journalist.
I always think a major moment is when Rory and Jess are studying and then take off in the car for ice cream in "cones" but get in an accident and Rory's wrist is broken. EVERYONE (town, Lorelei, Christopher, grandparents, etc.) act like Rory is an innocent lamb who almost died and Jess is the evil James Dean character. Jess is just as much a kid as Rory is, they are dumb and young and crushing on each other. She even insists that she wanted to ride in the car but everyone (except Luke) tells her that Jess is the only one who did something bad and she was just manipulated by him. That taught her a lot. 1-her reputation and persona can cover her actions (she is THE exception); 2-even when she tells the truth, she is not listened to and does not have to take responsibility when it contradicts others' ideas about her. Although Lorelei acts like she is not the conventional woman that Emily is, she treats Rory like an unthinking "damsel in distress" swayed by the "bad boy." Lorelei also immediately turns on Luke and runs to Christopher, modeling that when your friend/love interest disagrees with you, you drop them for someone who will tell you what you want to hear. Lorelei also reserves getting angry at Rory when Rory hurts Lorelei's ego---the money or persona, but in many actions against other people, Lorelei reaffirms their "special" status.
The moment I started disliking Rory was, I think still in the first season, when Dean told her he loved her and she broke up with him for it and the whole town was upset with Dean, making him out to be the bad guy because precious Rory could never do wrong, and Rory just doesn´t say anything and let´s him suffer this misunderstanding!? Her selfish nature came out strong early on...
I also think that Dean was at fault here. He built her a car and told her he loved him. I think Dean (maybe not consciously) tried to make her feel bad about. When he said I love you and she took a moment, he was mad at her for not loving him or at least not saying it. I think Dean is a part of Rory’s downfall. He acted like he had authority over Rory, he got mad at her for the stupidest things, made her change her Friday night dinner plans instead of changing his work plans. He was overall a toxic and authoritative boyfriend who cheated on his wife with his ex-girlfriend.
@@taweraka4806What does that have to do with her standing by while the whole town bullied him? She could have stopped this but choose not to. Dean definitely isn’t perfect either but the town never acted like he was an Angel. The town acted like Rory was.
I’m glad you mentioned her skipping Lorelai’s graduation! That’s one that people don’t seem to mention, but it was so incredibly selfish of her and was an early sign of how that trait would only develop. And yes, I fully agree the revival was such a disappointment. I also absolutely agree with you about Logan.
Rory never takes negative feedback as an opportunity to grow or develop. Any setback is a green light for her to immediately give up or ask someone else to take over the situation. She’s very passive
Rory is a main character and she goes out into the world not realizing that in the world, she isn't. Also, Amy Sherman Palladino was taken off the series for season 7, so the revival basically ignores/retcons everything in season 7. Amy Sherman Palladino wanted the series to end with "Mom, I'm pregnant" and said that the theme song, "where you lead, I will follow" was foreshadowing for Rory essentially taking the same path as her mom.
That makes me sad. Like that sounds like a great story detail and ending for this. It’s not the best but in terms of writing and storytelling, it’s great.
Can you talk about how her relationship with Paris and how it changed in her college years especially? I haven’t heard much about how terrible Rory ends up treating Paris
Everyone seems to forget that initially, Paris treated Rory horribly. She was always out to get her while Rory tried to maintain the peace between them. I honestly don’t feel that bad with how Rory acts towards Paris since it’s pretty much her karma from the start.
@@denys2787 also, it was rude how Paris pretty much forced Rory to be her friend rather than creating a genuine relationship. Paris was a pity friend because she had no one else that would tolerate her.
IMO we are all too harsh on Rory and not hard enough on Lorelai… She’s the example setting party in the show and she’s often allowed to behave very badly without being called out…
Not justifying it but I think it’s because when we meet her she is a fully formed person so we judge her lesser than someone we watch start to behave badly
@@ana_a7647 great point! I definitely hold lorelai to a higher standard bc she is an adult. That’s why when she downplays Rory’s missteps it bugged me so much. It’s like, you’re her mom not her pal
I do agree but I think it's because of how the narrative presents them. Lorelai is never really presented to us as a perfect person- quite the opposite really. We know the entire showrun that Lorelai is a flawed person who makes flawed choices, so when that happens we kinda expect it. And when Lorelai does something really bad, we're not really expected to take her side on the matter as an audience. Meanwhile Rory is presented to us as this perfect kid. The narrative constantly tells us that Rory can do no wrong, she's wonderful. So when she starts doing many, many wrong things ...it's a tougher pill for the audience to swallow - especially when the narrative kinda frames it in the way where we're still expected to sympathize or side with her. So I think that's why people tend to be so harsh on her.
I never disliked Mitchum or thought he was rude. I’ve heard much harsher criticism, and Mitchum said everything he said in a completely respectful and professional manner.
Addressing the point of Rory blindly believing Logan's dad and quitting school: I am quite convinced that she secretly wanted to get out of there and used it as a way to rationalise her feelings, at least partially. There's also the whole thing about gifted chidren suddenly running out of the gift (and I have been there, in part quit school over it myself but since uni is free to attend where I live it wasn't nearly as heavy of a decision as for Rory) but she is so willing and ready to just agree with him that goes, in my opinion, past the possible respect of authority, that I really feel like it played into her cards. I really like Rory's character. Her decline feels incredibly realistic to me and I can relate on quite a few things she went through. The craving for attention and especially validation especially is something myself and many other 'gifted' children still fight with well into our twenties and beyond. I also appreciate that in spite of everything she had at her disposal, she ends up where she ends up; I can't really express it, but it feels fitting, and I have always liked shows that don't shy away from making one of the protags an objectively heavily imperfect person so I may be biased. It's incredibly refreshing. I don't think the writing is the issue; people are just not always rational. Their decisions don't always make sense. I think that one key factor that Rory is still missing even in her thirties is making peace with the fact that she is not exceptional. I have this feeling I can't back up with anything that her confidence is not really supported by anything. Like you said, she raised the bar- or had the bar raised- too high, but she refuses to lower it.
My hot take is it's really not that big of a deal that Rory left school for a semester and lived with her grandparents. She needed to take a break and she was hurt. IDK I think it was smart to do before she wasted more money or time to a career she wasn't ready for.
The creator/ lead writer for the show was ousted during season 6. How season 7 happened was never the intention for the show. It was supposed to be more like what happened in the revival. We were supposed to start seeing more parallels between Logan and Christopher, so when Rory finds out she’s pregnant during university, it would resemble what Lorelei went through. The cycle repeating was supposed to be bittersweet, because yes it’s hard to be a single mom and not what either of them planned, but the mother/daughter relationship that forms is priceless.
Who Rory turned out to be is the product of bad parenting and bad family influences tbh, and while certainly as an adult she has to own her own choices, I think sometimes we don’t take into account enough about how our formative year influences really shapes us as people. When the foundation of you as a person is set on shaky grounds, things inevitably goes wrong. Rory is a very realistic representation of so many kids like her in real life.
I felt so validated when you said you started disliking Rory in season 2 because that's where I started disliking her too. I never see anyone pointing out how she treated Dean, who until that point was a good boyfriend and generally a good guy, only because they don't like him for what he does in the future seasons. I remember feeling like crazy bc I texted to my friend "oh I feel so bad for Dean, what Rory is doing to him isn't right" and he replied by saying "just wait, the guy is an asshole and deserves it" and I was like "NO HE DOESN'T??"
I really liked Logan, even though he had his own faults. He was the most hated of the love interest because of his privilege and background but he had a good head on his shoulders and was incredibly honest with her about his feelings. “Logan Loved Rory” is a great quote regarding his character.
12:45 I think this is a great example of Lorelai stepping out of her "best friend' mode to her more "mom" role and STILL being disrespected and just outright ignored by Rory. So many people keep saying that Lorelai failed Rory as a parent, but Lorelai was NOT at fault for many of the mistakes that Rory had agency in deciding to make. Lorelai almost ALWAYS called her out on it, or at least pointed out that what she was doing was wrong, selfish, and self-centered. But tell me how many times that Rory actually ever listened to her mom, or even took into consideration what her mom was trying to tell her. Rory's mistakes are almost exclusively the result of her own implicit behavior and outlook, only exacerbated by the privilege granted to her by having rich grandparents who don't hesitate to coddle and spoil her and the town always seeing her as some golden child. Overall, I think it was a great analysis! However, I personally do struggle to resonate with Rory quite a bit. I have sympathy for her but it is hard to be very understanding or forgiving of her behavior when she's had so long to reflect on herself throughout the series.
Yes, but you can not be the "best friend" for all the decisive years of your child's life, and then go to "mom" mode when she's not listening to you anymore. If she build a "best friend" relationship with her daughter, it's no surprise Rory kept her in that role for the rest of the time.
@@mirelasemanjaku Do you think mothers are only mothers? That that is their sole purpose and role in life? It should be perfectly normal for any parent to be able to act chill and normal like a friend but still be strict and able to provide guidance and advice like a parent about certain things. Lorelai doesn't stop being Rory's mom just because of that.
@@mcatherine36 she can be all the roles she wants with every one else. And with Rory to some degre, but when the main persona she is to her kid, is the "friend" and not the "mother".. issues arise. And Rory could have made plenty of friends her age. She needed a mother first from Lorelay.
@@mirelasemanjaku best friends are still supposed to give insight and criticize when needed, it is not supposed to be a friendship where only praise takes place. Hard situations show you who you can count on to tell you what could make you better, not just what you wanted to hear. Lorelai could very well still be a best friend and try to be realistic to Rory, but that would only work well if Rory could examine her mothers point and actually try to improve
Haha I totally agree about Rory’s boys just appearing outta nowhere. The only thing is I’d say if there was a really pretty girl who got perfect grades, read hundreds of books and was incredibly determined, ambitious and also confident and had a lot of self respect at such a young age I can see why she stood out to a lot of guys. But yeah they were unrealistically cute.
As someone who spiralled out of their academic career in their early 20s: It's not easy to get out of a rut once you're in one, especially when there's depression involved. You usually don't seek out the help you need of your own volition, at least not for a while, bc you might not recognise it as a mental breakdown that requires professional help. Especially back in the day when this show was made mental health awareness really wasn't where it's at today. Nowadays I feel like I hear and read everywhere that therapy is the solution to every problem. You know what, it would be nice if everyone could get therapy when they need it. But a) not everyone has access to it and b) not everyone wants to admit that they need it, and back in the early 2000s the general idea of therapy wasn't as positive as it is today - just think about how Paris and her life coach were framed by the show. We even know that Rory didn't think she had a problem or needed any form of intervention: When she's back at Yale she is required to visit a counselor and at first denies that there's any reason for her to be there. I think watching the show through a 2023 lense is important. I grew up with this show and rewatching it today I realise the problems it had that I didn't recognise as a kid (the privilege etc.). However, I do think that perhaps younger audiences who got into the show later on don't appreciate that many young ppl back then were struggling with severe mental issues without having words to describe them. Terms like "therapy" or "depression" aren't even used in the show at any point to describe Rory's situation by the ppl who love her, it didn't even cross their minds that maybe what she needs is some councelling. Instead she is viewed by Lorelai to have lost her work ethic, be laissez-faire etc. when in actuality she literally couldn't take the pressure anymore of continuing school due to burnout of trying to please everyone around her and meet the high expectations they had of her. The thing with Mitchum Hunzberger was just what tipped it. I think Rory had been burning herself out all along and finally cracked. Also taking into account that she felt like Mitchum was actually starting to like her and she was impressing him at her job just to get shot down like that - I thought it was realistic that she would think he's just being candid and not just a huge a**hole and that she was hearing the truth about herself. Being told by her mother, her grandparents etc. who don't work in journalism that she is so good at it wouldn't make as big an impact as the opinion of an actual journalism tycoon. Journsalism was her only goal for most of her life. It's not like she would realistically just bounce back and be like "yeah ok, guess I could try sth else". I for one understand her and don't dislike her for it. I admire the younger generations for their general outspokeness and mental health awareness. I'm gonna out myself as a millenial now and say that it really wasn't that like that back when my generation was at school. Depression wasn't a widely recognised thing, at least not on the scale it is today. It took me personally over 15 years to realise that I had been suffering from it since I was around 10 years old. Going through life with it without having it recognised early by my parents and treated led to many other mental problems I face now like (social) anxiety and also repeated burnout bc I kept ignoring my mental condition - being mindful of it wasn't sth I had been taught. Unfortunately this seems to be a common experience many millenials have. The only ppl I knew back then who were in therapy were those who had been harming themselves and the parents noticed. Otherwise good luck - you were pretty much on your own. #CompassionForRory
As a fellow millenial from Germany, I'd say this stigma around mental health might be more of an American thing overall due to the disastrous state of healtcare throughout the US, which is a shame :( I did go to therapy in my teenage years during this show's original run and never quite understood why they seemed to have been so negative about the sheer notion of Rory speaking to a counsellor of any kind -- because personally, therapy might have been one of the best and most helpful things that ever happened to me. Talk about experience a culture clash. And here's to hoping that the younger generations will continue to raise awareness for mental health-related issues for a long time to come!
Rory should have taken over Richards business. She was shown multiple times being a good manager and being able to handle stressful situations. She should of changed her major.
She wasn’t interested in business, though. I think being a writer (not a journalist!) fits her much better. Doesn’t necessarily pay much, but she could have worked in another job when she wasn’t writing, maybe in a bookstore…
I feel like working her way up as an editor for a well established publishing company was far more complementary to Rory's personality than journalism. She didn't have the tenacity, grit, and hard edge for it. She grew up far too pampered to be willing to go to war torn countries, giant, intense political rallies, and anything that was beyond being in an office.
The biggest problem with Rory was thinking she was beyond error. She was so sure doing everything by the book, in her studies, friendships, romantic relationships and personal experiences in general that she forgot, in fact never even learned, that in life who dares wins. You have to try, experience and make mistakes in order to know a little of this world (and still no one knows anything). She thought during the ENTIRE show that just bc she did everything right and was a good girl she was going to get her dream life when reality is so harsh no matter what kind of person you are. In real life you may be an angel you are still gonna get important things ruined and important things will taken away from you. To thrive you have to be brave, ambitious and tough skinned and rory failed in all of that, she didn´t have the slightest glance of grit.
I dont think the problem is her good behaviour, but how self centered she is and how she thought everyone would excuse her bad actions just because it's always been like that to her
You make lots of good points- It’s clear Rory is the darling of Stars Hollow and other than Lorelai moving there when she is pregnant with Rory and the town seeing her grow up no reason is given for why the town loves her so much. Endless comments are made about how beautiful and perfect she is etc etc and of course that would impact someone’s self image. However with the three boys situation - plenty of people meet at high school quite easily without trying. It’s once you leave high school that you really have to network to find new friends or love interests. I don’t think it’s unrealistic or evidence that Rory gets everything she wants without trying just because two boys in her town and one from her new school like her over her high school timeline.
Also Tristan full on harassed her. His ‘version of flirting’ comes from that archaic ‘boys are mean to girls they like’ and is BS. Tristan called her names (including one about her sexuality - Virgin Mary), tried to intimidate her into spending time with him (would block her from walking past him), when she refused him he would get angry, and he was violent and threatening to her boyfriend. Rory kissed Tristan because she was really sad and so was he, and so that’s forgivable or at least understandable. Rory dating Tristan without him sincerely apologising for the way he behaved towards her would not have been forgivable. (On the Jess note he was mean to other people but never Rory)
@@AD-pm4mp It seems there could be some continuity errors in the show regarding this. If you google it has been discussed on reddit. I remember the show stating that they moved to that inn that Lorelai worked at as a maid then a manager (before she went on to owning her own inn) when Rory was just a baby, they lived in the potting shed. Apparently they lived in their house from when Rory was 11 so perhaps that contributed to the confusion.
@@AD-pm4mp she bought the house when Rory was 11. Suki says it right after Lorelei finds out about likes relationship with Rachel. I just watched that episode a few days ago lol
Rory definitely made the right choice between Marty and Logan (but the wrong one about marrying him!) I would have loved if she realized she could be married and successful in her career (or let go of the career if she wasn’t passionate about it anymore!) and ended up with Logan in the revival, the ending they gave was so uninspired. 💔
I'm a bit late but awesome review! I wish Rory got an internship at stars hollow newspaper instead of going to uni and then she would've kept her small town self and been more wholesome. But the reflection on reality is why I love Gilmore girls so really I wouldn't change anything.
Ok some thoughts from a psychology point of view. Mainly about Attachment style- the main thing that I think is never fully addressed is her relationship with her father. She is unable to fully form healthy relationships with men because she never felt loved by her own dad and felt like every guy was going to abandon her. She has the markings of an Anxious attachment style meaning her relationships become her whole world and she becomes self sacrificial but also believed she is owed something because of that and overcompensates from her high self esteem. This is also likely developed because of her mum which as you said she was forced to be her mum's bestfriend. She was parentified and her mum saw her as perfect till she did something that she disapporved of she was met with criticsim. Also parts where Lorelai gives her like the silent treatment when Rory disobeys her which like is so toxic and also denies therapy. Rory had to put her emotions on the backburner and anticiapte her mums reactions. Lorelai is better than her mum but is also toxic. No child should be as mature as rory is season 1-3, or be perfect. We also see evidence of her later "flaws" in season 1 when she gets a D and has a breakdown- works herself to the bone, misses the test and has a meltdown. In year 12 at alevel i got a D on an essay (now year 13) and it felt horrible as someone who is also a high achiever like Rory and was always expected to get A's. Like Rory was expected to be perfect but she was never perfect. also
It’s hard bc man, I miss the first season Rory. She wasn’t perfect but she seemed to have some sense of responsibility and kindness. It was very hard to see that go away throughout the show. Then the revival was like a slap in the face. She needed to have consequences that were not just a slap on the wrist. The writing totally fell apart and it made the character more of a cautionary tale than anything.
I would disagree with the point of Rory being manipulated by Dean and him leading something on maritally. Rory knew that Lindsey didn’t want Dean talking to her and therefore their interactions were obviously in secret. Also Rory knew Dean was still living with Lindsey. They were absolutely not separated or even seperating. You don’t get to sleep with somebody’s husband just because you disagree with the dynamics of their relationship and they’re arguing. She also wrote in her letter to Dean that she didn’t feel bad about what happened between them which was disgusting in my opinion. She has such a possessiveness over Dean. Deans marriage was doomed to fail regardless tho because he married Lindsey knowing how he still felt for Rory. My heart broke for Lindsey.
It honestly infuriated me when Rory turned down a high paying teaching job because “I don’t think teaching is my future”. Yeah okay but you still need money. You can still work a job you hate while trying to job hunt for a better one so you can SUPPORT YOURSELF. I agree with you. Rory’s downfall began as soon as she left her mothers world and was brought into her grandparents. Most of us learn from a young age we have to do things we don’t like for instance work crappy jobs, answer stupid interview questions, pull 18+ hour work weeks for support ourselves so we can achieve our goals and live comfortably. Hard work is something she should have learned in high school and collage. Most people spend their late teenage years and early twenties working non stop to earn money to live on their own. But Rory never had to do any of this because she has her grandparents wealth to fall back on. To Rory it’s always about what she wants and never what she needs to do. She doesn’t want to work hard or take a job that may not be the best but will act as an important stepping stone to build her career, but she NEEDS to so she can support herself. but she won’t do it because she had a safety net to fall back on (ie her family and all of stars hollow). I think the reason she is so hated is the fact that she just became so unrelatable. If we go back to season 1 despite having mega rich grandparents, she lived more or less like a normal person. She had normal problems like studying, boy trouble, daddy issues. And overall she lived a pretty normal life. While some things were dramatized like the town of stars hollow because it’s a TV show, she was always a grounded character. Until she stared living like a housewife without the husband and turned into a spoiled brat. I feel the show never acknowledged how unrealistic her life became in later seasons because most of us can’t relate to having maids waiting on us hand and foot, wearing designer cloths, and living in a mansion while we are jobless and dropped out of school.
Logan’s dad was honest in what he said to her. She was spoiled and she was used to winning. Rory didn’t like to hear it when she was wrong. She was implosive and sadly I saw everyone else around her grow and mature.
I remember watching the show (seasons 1-3 specifically) as a young child and looking at Rory and thinking "ha, this is who I want to be!" However, watching the show 10 years later made me realize how flawed Rory actually is, even during her time at Chilton, when I still really love her. The problem was not that she had flaws, we all do, and she was still very much likable, the problem was that everyone painted her as a perfect angel, a golden child, that could do no wrong, so she never felt the need to improve. Everything came easy to her, even when it shouldn't have; for example, getting accepted into Harvard despite a serious lack of extracurriculars, or having a ton of guys show up on her doorstep although she lacks social skills. She never had to deal with failure or setbacks in her early teens, which made her really bad at facing criticism as an adult. If the show had made her face some hardships during the early seasons, and not painting her as "perfect" her character development would have been amazing.
It’s so interesting that the topic of psychotherapy came up in the series and it’s even more interesting to see how it’s portrayed and how they used to think about it (not so good/judgmental). Rory is at the end of a line of people with issues, who have never learned to communicate and treat other people properly. Rory didn’t fully learn that either (Lorelei told her to lie to dean about kissing Tristan). Lorelei was a letdown for her parents because they wanted her to be exactly the way they imagined. But with Rory it’s similar. They put her on this pedestal, constantly repeat the narrative that she was born to do great things, couldn’t fail, she was so admired and loved by everyone for who she supposedly was. There was not much room to explore who she really was and what she really wanted (when you look in the whole Harvard vs Yale topic and how Lorelei made it about herself in the beginning). And Lorelei didn’t even give her the space she asked for (and she was an adult at that time) when she wanted to take a break from uni. So Rory just wasn’t supposed to fail or just be the maybe more average person that she might was. But she was a little less of a rebel, more a people pleaser and didn’t gave up the relationship with her family. It’s more tricky and less obvious than with Lorelei. It’s harder to put the finger on why Rory 'ended' up that way and got so stuck. I think she was kind of trapped in all kinds of expectations too and the perfectionism, the this-way-and-no-other mindset broke a her. And yeah the whole father situation is also not helping..
Exactly, even considering the revival. Also, not everyone has their life together in their 30's so I believe her struggles to find her own path. So, yes, this was good writing.
I’m watching Gilmore Girls for the first time so these videos and discussion are so serendipitous!!!!!! I think Rory’s problem and arc are that of the Millennial gifted child. Rory is the big fish in a small pond and is very confident, especially for one so young. When her self confidence is challenged then she shows her less then like-able behaviors. This first shows with Jess, he challenges her and she is smitten by it but also knocked off her axis. She gaslights Dean for a loooong time and misses her mother’s graduation. This goes into overdrive when she has her heart broken by Jess and goes to Yale. At Yale she is a nobody and men are no longer falling all over her. She is a small fish. She starts fixating on Dean and has the affair with him, with no care for Dean’s wife’s feelings until she sees it for herself and even then her guilt is more about her and how she feels (this is evident in her letter to Dean). This may be a very unpopular take, but I think what Mitchum says to Rory is 100% true about her at the time he says it. He is working in the reality of a tough industry and she, up to this point believes that if she does what “you’re supposed to” then you will be automatically rewarded. This is the first time she is seriously challenged. It breaks her down and when she eventually gets over it and picks herself up she really changes and starts to take more risks. She takes what Mitchum says as advice and rises above it. It’s very cool how I first got angry and saw her as unlikeable then as her story plays out it became evident that it was actually well done….a real character with a real arc. Haven’t seen the revival yet 🫤
Didn’t I’ve how the show handled therapy. Emily balked at the mere suggestion of Richard seeing a therapist before he left his job. Lorelai is flabbergasted when Rory has to speak to a therapist after leaving Yale for a year, and Rory is very hostile throughout the entire experience. The Year In the Life was a very half-assed attempt at therapy too. Lorelai and Emily didn’t actually learn anything about their relationship during sessions - the show could have really done something there and they didn’t.
The biggest critique I tend to have of this show, and Rory as a character, is the period of time between when she realizes being exactly like Emily is not for her and then when goes back to Yale. There is less than one episode between when she gets into an argument with Emily at the event she planned and when she is back in school continuing to study journalism. I never could understand why she didn’t take more time to actually THINK about her future. It’s like she sees life in black and white. To her she either has to be a single, strong, highly educated, award winning journalist or a rich, married, dumb, house wife who plans useless events. Why did she not try and examine other options? She could’ve changed her major, or joined a new club, or gotten a different part-time job. Why is it journalism or Emily Jr. and no in between? I also hate how Richard basically insults Emily during this time by insinuating that she is useless and stupid and then it never gets resolved. I just wish Rory had taken a minute to figure out what she actually WANTED out of life when she appears to have hit rock bottom. As you said, she continues down a path she thinks she has to take even if it might not be serving her anymore. Maybe if she had figured it out she would’ve been a lot happier when we saw her again in the revival. Then again, as sad as her fate is, I agree it’s very realistic writing and it’s nice to see that reality on television sometimes.
Since a bunch of these videos came up in my feed I was mulling over Rory, and kinda feel like there's a sprinkling of "Midwit" for Rory. (Not the best way to put it, but a stark enough point). That she's smart enough to succeed but not quite intelligent enough to know her limitations in life. Which is certainly on a different level of you're succeeding at Harvard...but she shouldn't have been competing at that level. If she'd gone to a regular high school and a middle of the road college, she'd probably have stayed in Stars Hollow and been very successful and accomplished in life. But getting in to the Ivy League requires those aspects that she didn't have. So yes, excellent examination of her!
I started re-watching the series and it's so interesting how much the first few episodes tell us how Rory is going to be disappointed later in life. The headmaster at Chilton literally says to her on her first day, "you'll either excel or you won't but failure is a part of life." We also see a lot of Lorelai putting her own wants/dreams onto Rory with the "it's our dream she goes to Harvard" Also as a Communications/Journalism major myself there are SO MANY avenues in media aside from reporting that you can do. You can edit, copyright, sell ads, broadcasting, design work. She probably would have done well in another avenue in journalism, so why wasn't she being educated on those opportunities.
just started the video but wanted to say: when i first watched the show i was 13y/o and i was really annoyed by her dropping out of yale- probably bc i was also a ‘golden child’ driven by academics and academic validation. Only when i rewatched the show while at uni that I understood rory wanting to take a break from school to figure out what she wanted but also to rediscover who she is.
But the frustrating part is Rory never actually DOES figure out what she wants on this “break”. She just ends up back in school studying journalism like nothing has changed.
I’m so excited that you’re doing Gilmore Girls videos!! I love PLL and that’s how I found your channel and those videos were always so fun to listen to. GG is my all time favorite so I’m looking forward to all of your videos and what you have to say.
Without social media, I love Rory. She motivated me to actually do better at school without losing time for my family and friends. I will always be thankful to Gilmore Girls for expanding my taste in movies and music.
Yes I agree, how else would Rory be? She had close family ties to some of the oldest generational wealth in the country but grew up in her and her moms house where her moms thing was she did it all on her own. So Rory had a strong single mother and somewhat humble beginnings (I mean the big and cute house in Connecticut is not as humble as it was portrayed in the show) but she was never and would never truly struggle
I did think Lorelei over reacted about Yale, she could have let her take a break at home for a while to re-evaluate. In a way it was worse than Emily and Richard, they didn't abandon ship when she got pregnant, and Rory was only questioning her direction. Not the end of the world
True! It should be okay to take a break to re-evaluate for such a young person and I think Lorelei should have tried to support her finding the right path for her. It might have been better for Rory’s future.
I don't know if it was an overreaction tbh I see it as Lorelai thinking she was going down a bad path. This just after also stealing a boat, ignoring Lorelai's questions after picking her up from the police station to answer a call from Logan, partying, crying on the floor about Logan who she believed was a bad influence. Lorelai knew this gap year was a result of Mitchums criticism and that she was bailing. Which as parent you don't imagine you wanna encourage her behaviour. She wasn't forcing her to stay as a journalism major, just stay to in school and figure out what she wanted to do, rather than just quit.
We know that Mitchum was kinda right in the moment, too, because on the meeting, Rory did not jump in with any ideas or take it as an opportunity that she is there, she just observed others. She was unsure what was expected from her, but Mitchum was looking for willingness to take that risk to speak up, even if it is not necessarily her place. It takes huge bravery to do that, and I understand why Rory did not do it. I also think Mitchum was expecting too much of her. But from his point of view, she did not measure up to his expectations. Which, granted, were too high for a young girl.
I believe the reason so many things feel like they go backwards is because Amy Sherman-Palladino (the main writer) wasn’t there for S7. So when she got to doing the revival she made it pretty much ignoring everything that had been done in that final season. In a way, you could say the revival is her true S7, but with everyone being older.
I actually don’t like Rory or Lorelei. Emily is a horrible mother BUT Stars Hollow more than made up for what the Gilmores lacked. Lorelei and Rory both we’re very entitled spoiled and judgey. Lorelei is just as judgmental as her mother just not as vindictive and manipulative. But they (Lorelei and Rory) were adored by Stars Hollow. Think about how Luke treated them and catered to them throughout the series. Lorelei had no problem using Luke and ignoring the obvious fact that he had a crush on her.
@snoozyq9576 Oh come on for most of the show she's a teenager and by the end of it she's like 19/20 . We all act immature sometimes and we're selfish and mean but unless you're always ALWAYS like that then it's okay just apologize to people and move on . Maturity isn't this straight line going up , we falter and act entitled but we Learn . We all made similar mistakes to rory because it's a part of growing up this isn't a black and white issue , 90% of people aren't like that . I think rory is written realistically which is why we identify with her ( yes even when she's in the wrong ) and that's why people don't like her ( and that is valid you don't have to like her ) but honestly **sometimes** **some people** hate her because of misogyny . People don't hate Dean or logan for cheating but hate rory . Logan is really immature and entitled and people don't hate him for that but they drag rory . Jess was angry and took it out on everyone and his actions at the party were really bad but no one talks about it , instead they say " oh rory didn't deserve him " . They're all flawed , but for some reason rory and lorelai get all the hate in the Fandom and I don't get that . I don't like double standards . Tho I'm not talking about u specifically or anything also sorry if this doesn't make sense , English isn't my first language lol
I like your analysis but feel like an important point was left out: no matter how good of a friendship Rory and Loralie had or how positive they made their memories, there is a lot of trauma there. Yes, Loralie did her best but she’s clearly more friend than mom. As cliche as it may be, kids need a parent instead of a friend they may feel they also are responsible for. I see this as a great example of parentification. Rory’s story arc is very personal to me because, even though it’s not a direct parallel (sadly, no rich relatives to fall back on, not an only child), I also responded to my trauma associated with parentification through perfectionism. I was that amazing student that everyone believed would end up doing something incredible. I worked so hard for a single, very specific career with no backups and was, ultimately, told I might not be cut out for it. That destroyed me and sent me into a spiral. I had a big falling out with my parents and cut one off. I’m currently working on being comfortable with my “failure” and rewrite my path. Point is, while it’s frustrating to see the mistakes she makes, Rory is a very real example of the evolution of a “gifted” kid, a “very mature for their age” kid. A kid who tried so hard to control their story that then can’t cope with the reality that life is uncontrollable.
Honestly, I can't really dislike Rory. I mean, yes she does a lot of horrible things, but most of the time I just feel bad for her. The way she frankly over reacts to Hunsburger's criticism to me really shows that she has A LOT of issues, especially confidence wise. To me she seams like one of those people that seem very put together on the surface (excelling at basically everything they try, always punctual and well organised), but just below that, they are just so keeping it together. I mean, I also find it annoying how spoiled she can act, but I think that her real problem is her lack of confidence. Especially because I think it could also make you spoiled, because I think that entitlement is much easier then actual self worth (basically, convincing yourself that the world owns you something, can make you, at least partially, feel like you are actually worth something). As you said we shouldn't forget how messy the relationship to her father really is and in general how chaotic the early years of her life must have been. As much as I think Lorelei did her best to give her a good life and raise her well, she was herself not even fully grown, probably had a lot of mental health problems and was also more or less broke (literally living in a garden shed). I think under all these circumstances, no matter how hard you try, you can't give your child a completely stable upbringing. I think once she realized how good she is at school, she took academic measurements and general outside approval to get self worth, instead of getting it from the inside. She probably from a really early age learned to rely on plans and structure to give her a sense of stability, so when things don't go to plan, she crumbles.
I really didn't like that rory slept with dean while he was married to dean I really feel bad for Lindsey because she loved dean so much and wanted her marriage to work
Do you remember how when she was trying to fix everything after she dropped out of Yale, she was trying to get a job and practically harassed a guy at a newspaper of some sort, waited there every day until he agreed to interview her, she got accepted and we never heard of it again?
I think it would be rly interesting if you were to do a character study on Hermione Granger. She had the traits which Rory lack; grit, determination, discipline and ambition. Hermione also went through a lot when in school (I’m not talking about the war), that Rory didn’t experience. Hermione worked hard because where she came from. As you said though, Rory’s future was realistic, but so is Hermione’s. I could do a whole essay on this lol 💀💀
@@cosmok-1367 I’m definitely thinking about it!! I will probably work on it for a day or so, due to college classes, but when I finish it I’ll post it here as a google doc :))
Okay update. I’m almost done with college classes and summer break is around the corner, so I will have time to write the paper. I apologize for the wait
Rory's downfall was quite surprising, but however realistic and tbh our reactions to the writers 'destroying' our Rory, is actually a huge critique un us too and were just like everyone else in stars hollow, - who wants to still uphold this 'precious Rory'. Rewatching, Gilmore girls now I actually see many character traits in Rory in the earlier seasons, which is argued to be have been written in randomly later e.g S4,- the tree scene where she claims the tree is hers on campus like girl be for real LOOOL. Or in S2, when she allowed Stars hallow to literally all gang up against Dean, even though she did a lot of shady things.
She masks her issues with perfectionism in school and work. Then does impulsive things in her love life because shes actually dysregulated and doesn't address it. I think both cause each other. she's socially dysregulated so she chooses control in career progression. but then becomes burnt out and is impulsive.
She's the kind of person that goes on American Idol or The IT Factor and cries when judges give her reality. And cries and tells the judges "but my family and friends tell me I am so talented and special and perfect and nothing I do is wrong!!!!"
Check out my Gilmore Girls playlist!
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Rory should have gone into a career in Academia. I think she would have been genuinely happy as a professor or a literary research assistant.
Yeah I’m so confused why they didn’t let her do a Masters. She loves learning and that’s the thing she’s great at.
@@localabsurdist6661 yeah i think chilton Rory would have def got her masters but yale rory was just burnt out. She peaked in high school
@@doc52901Damn 😂😭... She could still have worked as an instructor just not permanent. I've seen it done before but you're restricted on what you can teach.
She should have a respectable job in academie, if not as a research assistant maybe as head librarian in a scientific library or something like that. Journalism was never perfect for her type.
Even chilton had standards she could not work there without a masters
Many, many, MANY years ago I was applying to colleges and auditioning for theater programs. I remember going to the NYU audition and the woman who spoke to us said something so important: "Each of you is probably the star of your high school 's drama program. But now you're going up against other stars. The playing field is different in college." It wasn't said in a mean way, and I think it was an eye-opener for most of us.
Rory was told that once, by Paris. And she panicked for a few hours, until she got back home and everyone reassured her she was all things great and wonderful and not to worry.
So, no, it wasn't a surprise that she turned out the way she did.
its so clear that without the external validation to soothe her ego, rory doesn't inherently feels like she's good enough hence why she feels rly entitled to that validation. its basically a way to compensate a lack of inner self worth, and i feel like this is why she easily fell apart by mitchum's statement.
@@cannedcondensedmilk totally agree that it’s difficult to become successful while dealing with mental health issues, need for external validation, and a lack of believing in yourself. She’s basically just a sad girl who wants to be guided by others but has been raised with a complex from her family and neighbors over needing to prove what a strong and smart and independent woman she is. She only has dreams of being Christiane Amanpour because she needs to impress the people who look up to her. But she doesn’t have a personal guiding star to keep her motivated and eager for the future, she’s fumbling through the dark. It’s no wonder she ends up feeling lost and alone. She never feels good enough for anything but she knows that she’s supposed to have a good life (especially coming from a wealthy family name). It makes her moody, and irritating, and human. I haven’t been able to watch GG for a while because it hurts seeing these lives be dramatic and see dreams fall apart 😂 Mitchum is kind of cool honestly like he sucks and I’d probably dislike him irl but he really does challenge her....she just isn’t ready for that world. She doesn’t have the mindset and she doesn’t have the passion, Rory’s just coasting along on the idea of a career she decided on to impress others at like, age 14. With all of the maturity of a preteen. Not surprising it doesn’t work out 😭 it’s not solid footing, she’s so focused on needing to be a fancy journalist that any steps taken to get there never feel right to her and she falls over aaaaa I’m rambling so bad it’s just sad that she constantly falls over because she has an idea of who she needs to be to be worthy but can’t take steps to get there and subconsciously never ever feels worthy 😂
well maybe it was good they told Rory not to worry. yet so many people tell you not to worry after telling all these reasons TO worry so it's like duh how can you not be a little worried?
‘Rory is still following a plan for her life that she made when she was a teenager, that no longer serves her’ I just got read for filth!
She had it planned out at age 5- who keeps their dream from age 5?
Rory is what happens when you are always told how great you are when you're young and then when you get into the real world, criticism hits you like a truck. She reminds of kids in "gifted" programs at schools. None of the ones I went to school with have done much even though they were the "best and brightest".
Totally. You need grit and determination to succeed, not just being “smart”
Yes exactly that's so what happened to rory
True but it must be hard having the pressure of being the “golden child” in your family too.
The reality is when school (k-12) comes easy and naturally to some they never learn how to face challenges. Also a lot of gifted kids never had to study in school so when they get to college they don't even know how. When the subject matter gets hard and too tough to just ease thru they don't have to skills to handle it. Many hit college unprepared and when the good grades no longer come easily it's like crashing to earth without a parachute. Your entire identity is being good at school and then you're no longer that. Now you're just a small fish in a big pond and... You realize you aren't special. That'd be a life altering realization for anyone, and beyond that the world is a capitalist dystopia. It's hard to handle when you think you're going to grow up and be this successful professional only to graduate college and realize all this shit was a lie, you took on all these loans, just so that the best you can do is maybe become a teacher or just go back to school for another 2 years to delay entry into the hell that is the workplace. Yeah, we all end up having to suck it up, and so I think the hate ppl have for Rory is because she's annoying for thinking she's too good to settle like the rest of us. Her entitlement is insufferable, but I understand again that it's because she's been sheltered, propped up, and constantly adored her entire life.
Rory is, and always will be, the ultimate Final Boss Mary Sue.
I think the best way to put it is: as she got older, Rory became the exact person that Lorelai didn't want her to become: An entitled little brat who thinks she can use Richard and Emily to get away with anything.
Everything lorelai was worried about when the show started ended up coming true by Season 5
God's, she's insufferable in season 6 🤦♂️
I love that her character ended up that way . Was Lorelai too lax and not parental enough? Or was Lorelai pushing Rory to hard to not make her same mistakes that she coddled her? OR is it that no matter how you parent....your child will be what they will be?
@@Madison-tf6qf probably the last one
@@Madison-tf6qfit’s a mixture of the first & last one
I think a big problem is that she had an absentee father. Yes, her father loved her and did try to make time for her, but he wasn't living in the same house, Rory didn't see him that often, and he formed a new family with another woman. Luke doted on her too much and also could be a positive role model but was in no position to apply discipline. This show does a really good job of displaying how detrimental single motherhood is to a child's development. Lorelei did the best she could but without a strong father figure, Rory falters.
@@davidsumner7604 get out of here lol you can develop fine with a single mother and a father figure is not needed to prosper in life
Tbh, I sometimes can’t help but think that Mitchum’s “you don’t got it” speech is a test for a lot of his interns. If his interns don’t meet the criteria he holds them up to, he tells them this little speech to either motivate them to do better or find a field better suited for them. To me, Mitchum seems like a down to earth asshole. He knows he’s privileged, he acknowledges it and even admits when he uses it to his advantage (like offering Rory an internship to apologize for his family’s behaviour) so he seems like an honest man. He’s not an asshole for the sake of it. Which is why I believe the above
I thought so, too! If she had decided to go for journalism nonetheless she could have proven him wrong. But she decided to steal a boat, drop out of Yale, and prove that he was right.
He literally says to her when they talk again at some point that she should have just proven him wrong, then. He even says in the og speech that maybe she will turn out to be great, but from his recent observation she isn't cut out and he said it's because she didn't speak up and contribute which as a journalist you have to be very self initiative and NOT be afraid to ruffle feathers or insert where it may be inappropriate. She did only excel at the office work and did nothing in terms of proving she is a passionate journalist. She may be a good writer (which is why she finds her way to novelist) but she is not really avid journalist material.
As someone who actually went into journalism, I thought it was a test too. Journalism can be a cut throat field with a lot of critique and feedback. You have to be willing to take it and use it to make you better. Veterans in the field tend to judge those entering in. Was it rude? Sure. But her reaction to it proved to me that it possibly wasn’t the right field for her.
I never got that Mitchum was an asshole to her. He was direct and blunt but her reaction was so petulant and whiny it exposed her entitlement instantly.
I agree. And Richard being angry with Mitchum about telling Rory the truth is very hypocritical, because Richard is as shrewd about business as Mitchum, if not more. Remember Jason, and how Richard screwed him over for a deal with his father?
I understand that hearing from your idol of sorts that “you don’t got it” would be devastating. But, to completely change your entire personality and ideology from one conversation just shows how fragile and privileged she is, she doesn’t understand the realities of the world. She doesn’t acknowledge the fact that everyone would not be instantly in love with her.
Mitchum actually made a really astute point over Rory not being cut out for journalism, since she does really unprofessional things, such as fail to prepare for an interview, and fall asleep while interviewing a subject.
Yeah he was spot on
Yeah at first I thought he was being mean (because he’s so blunt) but he ended up being right
she also lacks drive, which we get to see since the beginning but it's not until that point that I was like wait, she does lack it. Sure in the first seasons we see her work as hard as she can to catch up but she didn't picked a hard sport (whichvwe only see once), she didn't care to make friends even for the sake of connections, she only volunteered because Paris told her and the same with her being vice-president. But to me it was until Mitchum told her she could be a great assistant because she didn't take the lead in things when it made sense
@@SerenaSkybourne and even that mean/bluntness is mostly just him being direct and honest with her. Like he's an incredibly successful guy, his insight is genuinely valuable and that he is giving it to her in earnest is a good thing.
I think so too, honestly. Especially with how she responded to the criticism. As a high profile journalist like she wanted, she was going to be facing uncooperative or hostile people on the regular. If Mitch's blunt criticism was enough to make her spiral to the extreme, there's no way she would've handled journalism work on the level she wanted. Like girl who cares if one man said some negative thing, the level of journalist you wanna do risk their LIVES to report stories.
I’ve started to see the whole series as a cautionary tale about privilege. As much as Lorelei rejected her own privilege, she still held onto the idea that the “best” for your kid was an elite education. She says in the first or second episode of the series that it was her dream for Rory to go to Harvard because she didn’t get that chance. That idea, spawned from her own privileged upbringing, forced Rory into a world of entitlement (her grandparents’ world). She was never allowed to be content in her small town, middle class life because “it wasn’t enough”. She always had that expectation to be more than her mother looming over her. And when she couldn’t reach those goals, she’d self destructed.
rory ignored the fact that emily and richard abused lorelai, just like how lorelai ignored that richard's mom abused emily.
They way Trix treated Enily is the same way Emily treated Lorelai but worse. And i dont think Rory forgot or ignored it.
@lazyotter did i say anything about Lorelai being ungrateful brat. No i didn't.
Speaking from an abused kid. We don't forget. It just doesn't make up for it
Wait how was she abused…
@@athenaarrow9540
are you asking how Richard's mom abused Emily? or ?
I always empathize with Rory. I went to a nice high school just because I got a scholarship. Everyone always told me I was "the perfect daughter". Then in uni, everything came crashing down. I went to a nice uni through a scholarship and it was the moment I realized I'm not the only person with a high IQ. And the paradox is that I acted as 20-something years old my whole life but in that moment of my life, I started acting like an emotional teenager. The fact that that happened to Rori too, and the fact that I couldn't pass exams as easily as in high school hit me. I had "the luck" of not having anyone rich in my family who could sustain not doing anything for months, so I had to get over it and my life ended up better than hers in the finale
I always felt Richard and Emily pampered Rory a lot and did those things partly out of fear that she would cut them off the same as Lorelai did and they where desperate for that not to happen.
I like that Rory made mistakes because that's part of life but I hated that she never seemed to learn from them or take responsibility and everyone around her like her mom did the same and blamed everyone but Rory for every mistake.
Even when she stole the boat, blamed on Logan and not Rory
Oh yeah, Rory made mistakes but didn’t learn from them and repeated them! It’s exhausting to try to root for.
I think people were too critical of Richard and Emily. If you listen to Lorelei she often tells stories of how she would intentionally do or say things to embarrass her parents in front of their friends, constantly getting into trouble, and finally ending up pregnant at 16 which they tried to support her and Christopher. His parents completely rejected Lorelei and Rory and even Christopher for the most part. Where Richard and Emily tried to help them, maybe not they way they wanted it but they didn’t abandon them. Lorelei then ran off with her baby at 16 cutting out her parents completely so they couldn’t even know their only grandchild. So when the opportunity arose they took advantage to be able to get to know Rory. I think they saw in Rory what they had hoped for in Lorelei and wanted her to succeed where they thought Lorelei had not and had chosen such a hard life. I believe this is why the really went overboard with handing things over to Rory. While it had good intentions it didn’t fully work out the way they wanted, but they were trying a new way of dealing with Rory then they had with their own daughter and neither way worked.
@@LindzFletch17 Which is insane, I think. Even if it was Logan’s idea, any normal person would have said no to just stealing a boat for no other reason than driving around a bit. It would have been worse enough if it hadn’t been her idea. I was literally laughing when she was in court because that was one of the few moments when Rory actually got what she deserves. This judge actually saw the kind of person she was.
when she slept with Dean and Lorelai blame the wife.....
As rude as Logans dad was, he had a point. She's not tough enough to be the investigative journalist that she dreamed of being. She was in college she still had time to change her major
I agree. I feel like she puts too much pressure on herself to be solely a journalist, when she actually has a lot of different skill sets
@@SerenaSkybourne true. And at that time journalism already started to get in trouble. It would've been better for her to change majors and try something else. I never understood that idea of dropping out in a middle of a fully paid semester. And a year in their lives really showed her entitlement. Not wanting to work for an online magazine in a time where print started to die.
i agree, i think she definitely could have continued her career in the dar or found something similar as she was really good at event planning and she seemed to enjoy it
@@beatricegracetaylor1612 probably better a decent carreer instead of that bored housewife job. But any other major at college trying to figure out what she could be good in.
@@stephjovi she might as well become a housewife with her current career plan. Novelists usually start off with a regular job and are writing in their free time.
When you mentioned how you thought Rory's downfall started with her knowing her grandparents I was shook, because I've seen this show numerous times over the years and always tried to pinpoint moments where Rory "started to go wrong" and it never occurred to me that her grandparents were that bad of an influence, but it's true. I think it's possible Rory could have grown up to be a very different person had she never met her grandparents and to an extent I think the entire lifestyle revolving around Ivy League schools and wealth did more harm than good. When you look at a character like Jess and how he turned out without all of that, I think it puts it into perspective a little more.
It's tough because Lorelai was trying to do right by Rory getting her into Chilton and asking her parents for help but maybe it would have been better for her if she had had to work harder to achieve her dreams like Lorelai had to do, instead of basically having things handed to her.
I think this is it. If you had to summarise where Rory went wrong. I understand that Lorelai felt like Chilton was the only solid option. But it became an issue when Rory had it handed to her
@@SerenaSkybourne like rory deserved to be in Chilton but she should've worked for it, maybe have to help around her grandparents house or get a small job, like maybe work at Luke's on the weekend to earn going to Chilton but she didn't, like I felt like the only reason people didn't notice the downfall was because of Paris, with how rory was, she got praised and handed stuff and she was bassicaly liked by everyone but then Paris came along and she didn't like rory at the start but then she became a healthy balance, they needed eachother like in college, who got Paris out of her office when she became the head of the school paper (or whatever the role is called) oh yeah, rory did, they balanced eachother out, which made rorys downfall harder to spot
I don’t believe it was the grandparents at all. I think it was the influence of Chilton and being surrounded by kids that was just as smart or even smarter than her. Her grandparents just made it possible. The grandparents mistake was trying to make her “fit” it. Having the parties and showcasing her. I think they did this with good intentions but they wanted her to be accepted by the upper class people of Chilton so they got Rory what they thought she “needed” to fit in. Rory’s decisions were her own. She wanted Chilton because she wanted Harvard because that was her mother’s dream. Rory actually was never following her own path. She started following her mother’s path and then started following her grandparents. She changed her mind from Harvard, her mother’s dream, to Yale, her grandfather’s reality. She only does what other people dream or have done. Rory is easily influenced and easily can manipulate the people around her because she is a “nice person.” Honestly, she makes terrible decisions when she is thinking for herself and not following someone else’s life plan. She is not an independent thinker, not much of a problem solver, and is a disaster of an adult because she is left to her own devices, there’s no one to lead.
Her having a relationship with her grandparents is the best thing she could have done for her future because in all likelihood they leave it all to her after they pass. That's probably the real life she wants, things handed to her and she can just do whatever she wants without having to worry about sustaining herself
Wealth and privilege affects people differently though.. and she let it get to her head. Also even if she didn't meet her grandparents, Lorelai's parenting was more of a bestfriend than a mom and sometimes she would sugarcoat things for Rory or let a lot of things slide because she didn't want her daughter to grow up resenting her. But in the long run, the privilege she got from her wealthy grandparents and the parenting she got from Lorelai really unprepared her for life after college so she failed at job interviews etc.
Here is why I actually like Rory (Character-wise, not necessarily as a person):
I think the downfall that everyone talks about was inevitable, not necessarily only for the reason most people give (that she was spoiled as a child and never had any consequences), but also based on a writing perspective. The character of Rory in the beginning was perfect, she literally could do no wrong to everyone around her, I remember Luke even telling Lorelai once that Rory was like the angel on top of the Christmas Tree, she was put on a pedestal not only for the townsfolk, but also for the audience. The problem with this is, it was impossible for her to have any sort of character growth because she was already the "happy-ever-after-type person" that most characters become at the end of a show. There was no way for her to go but down. So the mistakes she made, which yes were a little over the top but still human, made her seem like this terrible person. But with a character like Paris for example, she started off as someone you were meant to hate and grow to love. If Paris would have done any of the things that makes Rory a 'bad person', no one would bat an eye or mention it, because we look for the way she has experienced growth over the course of the series, which was impossible for Rory to do.
This should have more likes you nailed it
Yes! I love the writing more as I got older.
I think a big problem is that she had an absentee father. Yes, her father loved her and did try to make time for her, but he wasn't living in the same house, Rory didn't see him that often, and he formed a new family with another woman. Luke doted on her too much and also could be a positive role model but was in no position to apply discipline. This show does a really good job of displaying how detrimental single motherhood is to a child's development. Lorelei did the best she could but without a strong father figure, Rory falters.
This !!
Emily and Lorelai are also flawed characters yet we love them .
Rory is written as this "perfect character" and the moment she showed her flaws suddenly the audience couldn't stand her
@@davidsumner7604 I don't think Rory having her father in her life would have made her go down a better path. Remember Lorelai felt need to be responsible and discipline with Gigi then Chris who didn't even know how to change a diaper after having a kid for over a year and basically just left her with a nanny 24/7 (He even planned to send his 4 year old daughter to Paris alone before Lorelai stepped in). A bigger thing is Emily and Richard coddling Rory and undermining Lorelai every chance they got. If Luke and Lorelai had got together when Rory younger I could definitely see him having more of a hand in raising her would have been a plus, especially to support Lorelai when Rory's grandparents overstepped their boundaries.
The fact that Rory was obsessed with Harvard but never even knew the bare minimum requirements to get in was always puzzling, especially considering that she went to all those fairs. It was weird that Paris freaked out that episode where the college admissions officers came in because she always seemed five steps ahead. For a school like Chilton, wouldn't they have had more recourses and college days dedicated to things like that? As for Mitchum, he wasn't wrong, but he had questionable motives about why he gave her that feedback in the first place, but Rory should've kept that in mind since she was certainly aware of that fact going INTO the internship.
What makes you think she didn't know the minimum requirements??😅
@@Blehiii she didn't have any community service hours and barely any extra curricular activities outside of academics before Paris had told her. how on earth did she expect to get into Harvard when all she had were excellent grades? that's like only half the battle.
@@hillarysantiago8563of course it's just luck (wish she thought of it too), but I think all the town events would have helped with application
@@TheMarkmcryeah but as the previous comment says she didn’t know that
@@TheMarkmcr really? I thought the main outcome of those was just her looking ridiculous
Rory is a great example of "gifted kid syndrome" wherein she was very much so praised and put up on a pedestal in her childhood and teenage years, only to realize that things were not going to be the same in college. Seeing her become noticeably more entitled as the seasons progress only shows that she wasn't very prepared for "adult life" and that nothing will come as easily as it had before. It was realistic portrayal of everything concerning growing up and realizing you do have to work as hard as everyone else.
I don't think she was praised to be gifted necessarily. I think she was mostly praised for being responsible and put together. "A good kid". Then she started experimenting (messing up) in her twenties, in stead of as a teenager, like you're supposed to. I'm missing that a bit in the video. Even though Lorelai was a really good parent imo, her having almost no friends (just acquintances) and relying on her daughter to support her is bound to have an effect on Rory.
well like the popular jocks end up realizing that theyre also just like everyone else
I disagree with something that feels like no one talks about. Rory is far from perfect from the beggining, and I don't know how so many people have missed it.
If you pay attention you'll see. She always had a sense of entitlement, like when she got the first D of her life at Chilton, and flipped out that time they didn't let her take some other test because she was late after studying all night. Even her friendship with Lane is more about Rory than anything else.
The way she had almost a sense of superiority on academic life, and people who deviated from that were not ambicious enough. She mostly disrespected any authority figure that challenged her views, ever since season one. The way Rory talks to her family, her mother especially, as if she's the family's standard of maturity and they should learn from her.
All of Rory's boyfriends have always been on stand-by too. She thought of them as HER options; she flirted with/kissed Jess while dating Dean, slept with Dean even though he was married, went out with Jess and only told him she was dating when Logan showed up. Not to mention how much she cheated on poor Paul...
I love her character, but she needs some tough love.
Yeah there were huge signs right from the beginning. Especially how she messed around Dean and Jess in season 2
And she kissed Jess while with Logan. She is worse than Logan lol at least Logan knows it and didn't ever technically cheat like she did
I agree that Rory treated her boyfriends as stand-bys and acted like she was entitled to them. I have a more sympathetic take on Dean and less so of one for Rory compared to Serena. While Dean's also no peach since he dated and married Lindsey to basically make Rory jealous/force Rory's hand, I see those as acts of desperation to get a chance to be with 'the one' again since she kept showing interest in him even after Jess. Although on the outside his marriage looked fine, Dean didn't actually love Lindsey so him saying to Rory that his marriage was struggling wasn't actually a lie on his end because it's not what his heart wanted. He wanted Rory. Dean shackled himself in a loveless marriage (on his end) trying to get Rory to even _notice_ him after the Jess thing. Was it a terrible decision on his part to get married and then pursue Rory afterwards? Absolutely, but I also think that Dean couldn't see his codependency on Rory due to her treatment of him.
Rory continually kept doing a push-and-pull with Dean and I think that affected Dean's ability to properly detach from her especially since she kept coming back to him/showing interest in one way or another. She was also his first girlfriend and one that he was extremely attached to. Rory always kept Dean as a fall back which probably gave Dean the impression that he might still have a chance to be with 'the one'. Rory really messed with his self-perception and attachment style. Too bad he didn't realize that Rory didn't actually love him if she was treating him that way because then he never would have proposed to Lindsey in the first place. I'm not saying this to excuse his affair because he obviously should be held accountable and should have ended his marriage first but Rory had just as much of a hand in it and should equally be held accountable. Rory also flat out says in her letter that she doesn't regret that it happened at all and said to Lorelai that she was basically entitled to "her" Dean. At least Dean cared that he had hurt Lindsey unlike Rory. It's also a pattern for Rory whereas it's a one-and-done with Dean.
w/ the bfs well its honestly kinda refreshing that she didnt jump through hoops for them like most female protagonists trying to please men/boys.
Thank you for covering Rory, Serena! As Rory got older, she just became more entitled and spoilt. In the revival, she kept forgetting about her boyfriend Paul, using him as a crutch after she was floundering in her journalism career. It makes sense, as she was used to being coddled in her small town, and she just couldn't handle that other people were just as smart as she was. Plus, the "joke" about Paul was just mean spirited, not funny.
Girl I see you everywhere
Absolutely based PFP
I wholeheartedly agree
But he also broke up with her over text, so how was the relationship really on either side???
I see you on so many videos, we must have very similar taste 😂
What's also messed up is that Logan was engaged when getting with Rory again.
I do think the writing of Rory was ultimately pretty realistic. It's not pleasant, but it's very realistic. Lots of gifted kids eventually hit the point of having to grapple with the fact that they actually aren't that special and that they will have to sometimes work for things. On top of that, Rory is universally beloved and praised in her growing up years and then, at a crucial time in her life, she is given access to immense privilege via her grandparents' wealth and connections. So, yeah, I find it very realistic that she wound up kind of spoiled and entitled. The way she was raised just kind of led her to feel like she should just get what she wanted, like she just deserved whatever she wanted. I wish we could have seen her growing past that in the revival, but....well, maybe that was ultimately realistic too.
As an former journalism major I can tell from experience that Logan's dad was right, she was just didn't have what it takes to be a journalist nor she did have the intention to develop the necessary skills to become one. I loved Rory because my personality was similar to hers (overachiever, quiet, booklover kinda of girl) and I also was studying journalism in college and wanted to be an investigative journalist. Seeing her was like seeing myself in the mirror.
Around the same time I was watching season 5 I also experimented a crisis because I just didn't feel like journalism was made for me, I lacked the necessary skills to succed in the media world and I recogniced some of these flaws in Rory too. In my case I was not an extrovert, I was not "metida" (in spanish is the person who finds a way to be involved in anything they want and even be part of it easily), my interview skills were bland and I was not ready to confront (or even argue) someone with questions. Being a journalist is more than just be good at writing and it's essential to know how to handle criticism, specially when all your work will be published to everyone to see if you are not already on tv exposing your skills as a journalist to the world. I think that Rory was lacking a lot of these essential skills and really didn't put a lot effort to develop them. If she really wanted to be a journalist, she would've work hard to prove Logan's dad how wrong he was. At the end of the series I saw her a little bit more motivated to change and follow that path, but that though was destroyed when I saw how she ended up in the reebot.
PS: I changed my major to social communication (that focuses on social projects) and I couldn't be happier. What I love is not interviewing but helping people through creative campaigns and activities. I think that if Rory woul've try other subjects and majors, she would've find her true passion.
Yeah, it looks like Rory is going to go on to write books based on the revival, which was always the more appropriate path for her.
Haha, in Panama we say "metiche". 😂😂
What can you do with a social communication degree??
Yes, that makes so much sense! When Rory becomes envolved with Emily’s DAR she is a really good planner and worker for the group! She is constantly praised by the members and she seems to really like the job. Rory was definitely gifted to do community organization type activities over journalism.
I always saw her becoming a creative writer, novelist, teacher.
Rory sleeping with Dean isn't as bad as a fact that she never realized it was bad and didn't have any real consequences. So she never grew into a better person and in the revival many years later she's behaving the same way.
Thank goodness every character is constantly telling the audience that Rory is smart, we'd never guess it based on her choices
there are plenty of book smart people who make terrible decisions
@@oooh19but she's not book smart either. Getting good grades in a public school and getting good grades in a school for exceptional students who have all been tutored since children is not the same thing. Of course I understand if it was hard in the beginning, but she literally is average in terms of Chilton's student grade average. I don't think her grades could begin to compare to Paris's who is ACTUALLY book smart. Rory made no effort to actually try and better herself, her grades, her personality or anything lol
no blame to rory for moving out of her grandparents' house. they started out friendly, but they were just trying to take control of her life and emily got more and more aggressive to her, and richard joined right in with trying to police rory's sex life. rory got a taste of how they treated lorelai.
yeah i don't blame rory for running out of there
The way she did it was wrong though. She just packed up her stuff and left without saying anything. Rather she had Colin and Finn pack up her stuff. She didn’t even have the decency to tell either of her grandparents that she was leaving, or at least call them after she had settled in back at Yale. Emily was a bit too much when it came to controlling everything with Rory. It’s one thing to wake her up when she had been sleeping in past eight thirty or whatever, it’s another thing to lay out her clothes and tell her what to wear for a DAR event. Richard and Emily wanting their reverend to talk to Rory about having sex was uncalled for. They were both a bit too much. The way Rory also said there were too many strings with these people, regarding when her and Lorelei were wanting Chris to pay for Yale. I think it was so rude and disrespectful for her say as if they hadn’t given her free rent and a whole place all to herself.
@@malloryweeks3306
i disagree that rory should have told them. they were being abusive and she had decided to cut them off. i only wish she had stuck with that and refused to go back to their house for dinner.
@@RilianSharp I agree with not going back afterwards
@@RilianSharp Abusive? "Oh brother this guy!"
I dislike Rory for a whole host of reasons, but strangely enough the one time I feel she is the most relatable and I feel the most sorry for her is when she wants to drop out of Yale. In the scene where she's discussing it with Lorelai, she is clearly very lost and is starting to realise that her dream might not be her own, but one that her mother, grandparents and people around her have put on her. She's trying to work out what to do and wants to take a step back and see what else is out there. But instead of trying to listen to her and understand where she's coming from, Lorelai s angry and responds with criticism and "NO". This I think is maybe really Rory's downfall, the part where no one tries to help her out of a rut and a crisis of who she wants to be (which we've all been through) and instead continues to push her and doesn't give her space to think and find out who she really is.
This is a good point. My only counter to it, though, is that, with Rory's privilege, she wasn't going to do that work of figuring out what she wanted if given that time, which is exactly what we see. She spends most of that time off being incredibly wishy-washy and directionless, just not even bothering to think about what career she might want. It would have been different if dropping out of school was going to mean that she had to get a job and fend for herself for a while. It might have pushed her to give more thought to what she wanted. But as it was, dropping out of school for Rory meant just kind of doing nothing at all, and even when she gets out of the rut, she just goes right back to the same path she was on before, and we see in the revival that that didn't work out for her. I agree that she probably would have benefitted from a gap period where she took a true reassessment of her goals, but I don't know that she was set up to be given that. She wound up just being coddled instead.
Nah. She overreacted.
I agree. It was more about the expectation versus what she actually may want
I was actually a bit surprised that Rory chose to become a journalist. Because she is quite shy and more of an introvert. I think that she would so much better as a librarian because she loves to read.
i thought she'd work as an author haha, because they're so introverted
@@SerenaSkybournearen’t they the same thing?
@@Jessica.Shawnte Actually far from it. A librarian specialize in organizing information and cataloging. They can work in many different fields that includes librarianship and information. While authors write books .
@@Esmeralda2diamon I was talking about a journalist & author
@@Jessica.Shawnte sorry. 🙂 But I was thinking Journalists mostly works on writing articles and often that includes interview strangers and because she is shy and a bit introverted I didn’t though didn’t it suit her.
Also with the intern situation, I’m sure she felt like she couldn’t speak out because she was literally an intern, which is often seen as less than a “real” employee. Especially back in the time this was set.
Exactly! She was there to listen and learn. His criticism was too harsh there
True but in my experience (when I was an intern), I, too, was spoken harshly to by doctors and older professionals I respected- they told me I had to speak up (well, they yelled and belittled me) and yes, I cried because it was rotten BUT I used their harsh criticism to then speak up and share my opinions. The way Rory responded to that criticism was a great reflection of her character, which turns out, was extremely fragile 🥲
@@okoala62 maybe people shouldn't belittle others. Like do we really have to call someone extremely fragile for not putting up with that sort of treatment. That treatment shouldn't be acceptable at work. It's not some inevitable fact of life. It's a culture we all feed into, both those of us who perpetrate it and those of us who excuse it or use our survival of it as some perverse badge of honour.
@@okoala62my orthodontist is like this. He gets annoyed and raises his voice when I ask a question.
I’ve given the old man a break tho. He fell at one of my appointments,
@@IshtarNikeyeah that would be nice but we can’t change how the generations before us treat us and there will always be idiots. Journalism specifically is a field where one needs a thick skin, be outspoken, opinionated and be able to handle criticism. She didn’t really have that. She kept quiet or agreed with everyone. She run away the first time somebody didn’t treat her like a princess.
Calling her a “child prodigy” is very generous, she was just book smart. I never understood when people said that
It was so stupid lol. She reads, big deal.
It was mostly a matter of perspective. She was raised in a very small town where everyone knew each other, where everyone goes to the same school, same shops, same restaurants, etc. People saw her and immediately believed her to be some sort of prodigy because everyone else in town was just ''a normal guy''. The show REALLY emphasizes how people in Stars Hollow aren't the brightest, multiple times, while showing Rory as a sort of miracle because she reads all day long and studies a lot. In a real city, heck, in a big city like New York, Rory was just another nobody.
This video really helped me understand Marty’s role in the story! For a long time I never understood “the point” of their tiny relationship arc, but seeing her rejection of him/acceptance of Logan as symbolic of rejecting her upbringing and embracing her grandparent’s world totally makes sense and never occurred to me before.
It always interested me that Rory wanted to be a journalist, but was very set on going to an Ivy League school, instead of schools that are well known for the journalism program. Yale didn't even have a journalism program until 2006 irl, when the show was nearly finished airing.
loved the video. Most of my problems with Rory came about with the revival. I feel like the writers were writing like their was no time jump, and just carrying on with their plans after their last season without regard for how it would make the characters look to be in that place developmentally still.
and ooff at the scene with Loralei yelling at Luke for the accident, it's the scene that makes me the most angry and disappointed with her. It's like she doesnt see Jess as a fellow child at all.
yes, yes and YES
That scene where she yelled at Luke for the accident PISSED me off. I don't think I've ever been THAT mad at Lorelai
I am not a Jess fan, but I do agree that Lorelai went overboard. I hate it when Lorelai yells at Luke that he “HAS” an obligation to her and Rory, and the “town,” (but you know she just throws it out there not be “obvious” about her true feelings). Hello, Jess was his nephew, his family; he dind’t have no obligation to anyone but his underage nephew.
I‘m not sure how it works in the US, but when I got interested in journalism (and I did actually end up working as a journalist for a couple of years) everyone I met from the field stressed how important it was to study what I wanted to write about/report on and that all the „journalist tools“ would be picked up on the job.
So from that pov it would make sense that she is not settling for a journalism programme (where I‘m from they‘re even sort of frowned upon)
It's prolly about contacts and networking. Although she wouldn't know that 😅
I agree what you said that Mitchum line could be sexist but I still think that Rory wasn't meant to be a jornalist: she wrote that the bailarina was fat because Doyle wanted to her be harsh, she had that "rock fan" vibe when she was with Lane, she was a pop culture fan near of Lorelai, etc she doesn't have a true personality or a opinion, when she does, she ends up hurting someone doing a terrible comment or being a hypocrite, she doesn't have a good critical opinion for example her article talking about rich people not realising that she is one of them just because she lived in a small town is terrible.
I really struggle to see the sexism, mean-spirited maybe but sexist..
I think Rory was in the right to ask her grandparents to pay for university if her mother was too proud to. It really bothered me that they complained about not qualifying for financial aid because they didn’t *want* to ask her grandparents and Lorelai didn’t *want* Rory to get a loan (like everyone else has to!). They did not deserve financial aid over others that didn’t have those options.
As someone who went to a school that held Oxford up as the end goal (like Chilton and Harvard) I also wish they had done one of two things about her decision to go to Yale:
1. Either had her interview at Harvard and fail the interview like lots of other intelligent people have done.
2. Spent a bit of time realising she only wanted to go to Harvard because her family / school / society had told her it was the end goal for someone smart and realised it wasn’t actually the best for her. They sort of danced around this with the pro-con list but I wished they delved into it a bit more.
I agree I would’ve asked my grandparents too if my mom was to proudful & stubborn
i agree except in america (for the first one) people don’t really fail interviews and it’s more of a way for alumni to get to know your personality and if you’re a good fit for the school, i know in the uk the interviews are much more important and formal, especially for oxford. instead i wish they focused more on her not doing enough/cliche extracurriculars and not sticking out as a candidate
@@mischa4873 tbh, I was a bit surprised when she got into so many great schools (while Paris, for example, didn’t). Rory was a great student, but what else did she have to offer? Vice president, that’s it, or did I forget about something? Paris, on the other hand, seemed more qualified, even though she wasn’t the nicest.
@@Diana-qp2rwunfortunately that’s a reality for many like Paris
Tbh my parents don’t want my brother and I to get loans either. They don’t want student debt for us.
I actually think rory becoming a teacher would be by far the best option because she gets to teach kids how to have fun with school, if she was an English teacher I think it'd be amazing for her and the kids she always felt like someone who could show others how to make something more than just work but an activity, I think it would also give her some perspective and grow her as a character
I still have empathy for Rory because I saw a lot of me in her. I was a brilliant and very smart child and a good student, and my college carrer was good too until I had a painful break up, from that point I dropped the college and I started to make a lot of mistakes,I lost myself and now after 10 years I'm starting to recognize myself again and I have come back to college. So I can't be hard to Rory,we are humans even if we want always to be brilliant and perfect.
Rory had a whole town telling her she was special and unique, and then she had access to mind bending amounts of money thanks to her grandparents.
Look at Richards outrage at her getting community service for stealing the boat- he thought she was above punishment.
She was so bizarrely written at times too- she goes from underdog to shining star in no time- she's practically in charge of the community service team- telling them what to do like she is somehow set apart from others and then she's acting like an old hand at the newspaper....it's then written so that the people who are realistic with her are the villains. Mitchum was correct she'd make a good assistant but not a journalist, she doesn't have what it takes.
Fully agreed! And not sure if it’s just her character or the actor’s acting but the take charge scenes of her at the community service and at the Yale paper was cringey at best - like it didn’t suit her at all
Of all the Rory videos I've ever seen: no one has mentioned Marty. Thank you. Season 1 Rory would've fallen for him immediately. Marty was definitely painted as a "nice guy" by the end, which is a bummer because he's way more than that. But I believe he could've been a genuinely healthy fit for her.
Yesss it shows how much Rory changed
Rory’s downfall reflects what you see a lot in higher education - people who were hard workers/effective learners in a classroom situation who are good at passing exams suddenly realise that they have no independent thought. No creativity. No drive (other than passing an exam and coming top of the class). They often burnout before they graduate. A lot of the folks I encountered during my masters and doctorate degrees were late bloomers. They did ok at school (pre-18) but really soared when they could control their own learning and pursue their passion. Whether the writers intended to show this in the show… or just descended into melodrama is open to discussion lol.
I understand this very well and cannot agree more. I was a good student for my whole life and I have no independent thought, a creative thing, a little courage. I just have good grades and nothing other than in my life. I am graduated now and I do not know how to deal with life
For me, Rory was too stunted and sheltered, and never had to deal with hardships so once she finally hit walls, she spirals. I didn't get to really make friends when I was younger once I had freedom I spiraled myself for a while there, before getting on track better.
My theory is that the revival was written to be the actual final season in 2006, but since Amy and Dan had left the show, no one knew the original ending season. So Amy took this original ending and tweeked some things to update it, but there are still remnants of the original 2006 script all over: that blogging/internet media hasn't occurred to Rory yet (this would have been new in 2006). The references to There will be Blood are dated in the late 20teens. And the final scene has a completely different implication when it's a 22 year old girl who just graduated from yale rather than a 32 year old woman who can't get her life together. And the men in the triangle would also be facing greater implications if they were also in their early 20s. There are themes of identity, struggle, etc, themes that befit a twenty-something much better than a thirty-something.
Exactly. I was disgusted by the writer who chose wanting her original ending over storycraft and serving the life that used to be in the characters. Lorelai still has issues with marrying Luke after 10 years?? Rory had zero growth. The quips were not funny - many jokes were in poor taste at best and downright cruel at worst. The references to pop culture were outdated - let's not forget following Lorelai on her Wild excursion some time afrer the book and movie were in the mainstream. The best part of it is Emily and I think it's only bc they HAD TO be creative with her after Richard's death. She grows and is still herself, still flawed and hilarious, but she struggles and finds a purpose apart from Richard and the DAR.
This is what I think too. It's not that the revival is a bad story. It's just that it's ten years too late. It's hard to buy that these are the things the characters are going through a full ten years later, when it would have made sense as an immediate continuation of where they were at the end of the show. Amy Sherman-Palladino would have done better to give up a little bit of how she had imagined the ending and adjust it to the amount of time that had passed.
To be fair, Mitchum was absolutely correct. When you're in a situation where there's a topic open to the floor and everyone keeps glancing at you, you SPEAK up! the fact that she just kept grinning like no thoughts heads empty. Rory was always proved to be a writer, not a journalist.
Good point
I always think a major moment is when Rory and Jess are studying and then take off in the car for ice cream in "cones" but get in an accident and Rory's wrist is broken. EVERYONE (town, Lorelei, Christopher, grandparents, etc.) act like Rory is an innocent lamb who almost died and Jess is the evil James Dean character. Jess is just as much a kid as Rory is, they are dumb and young and crushing on each other. She even insists that she wanted to ride in the car but everyone (except Luke) tells her that Jess is the only one who did something bad and she was just manipulated by him. That taught her a lot. 1-her reputation and persona can cover her actions (she is THE exception); 2-even when she tells the truth, she is not listened to and does not have to take responsibility when it contradicts others' ideas about her. Although Lorelei acts like she is not the conventional woman that Emily is, she treats Rory like an unthinking "damsel in distress" swayed by the "bad boy." Lorelei also immediately turns on Luke and runs to Christopher, modeling that when your friend/love interest disagrees with you, you drop them for someone who will tell you what you want to hear. Lorelei also reserves getting angry at Rory when Rory hurts Lorelei's ego---the money or persona, but in many actions against other people, Lorelei reaffirms their "special" status.
The moment I started disliking Rory was, I think still in the first season, when Dean told her he loved her and she broke up with him for it and the whole town was upset with Dean, making him out to be the bad guy because precious Rory could never do wrong, and Rory just doesn´t say anything and let´s him suffer this misunderstanding!? Her selfish nature came out strong early on...
I also think that Dean was at fault here. He built her a car and told her he loved him. I think Dean (maybe not consciously) tried to make her feel bad about. When he said I love you and she took a moment, he was mad at her for not loving him or at least not saying it. I think Dean is a part of Rory’s downfall. He acted like he had authority over Rory, he got mad at her for the stupidest things, made her change her Friday night dinner plans instead of changing his work plans. He was overall a toxic and authoritative boyfriend who cheated on his wife with his ex-girlfriend.
@@taweraka4806What does that have to do with her standing by while the whole town bullied him? She could have stopped this but choose not to. Dean definitely isn’t perfect either but the town never acted like he was an Angel. The town acted like Rory was.
See, that's the moment when I started disliking Dean. XD
I’m glad you mentioned her skipping Lorelai’s graduation! That’s one that people don’t seem to mention, but it was so incredibly selfish of her and was an early sign of how that trait would only develop.
And yes, I fully agree the revival was such a disappointment. I also absolutely agree with you about Logan.
I think it's more worrisome that she tried to manipulate her way out of it instead of admitting the truth about the highway being closed
I think Rory being put on a pedestal all her life, she was doomed to repeat her mom’s cycles.
Rory never takes negative feedback as an opportunity to grow or develop. Any setback is a green light for her to immediately give up or ask someone else to take over the situation. She’s very passive
Rory is a main character and she goes out into the world not realizing that in the world, she isn't.
Also, Amy Sherman Palladino was taken off the series for season 7, so the revival basically ignores/retcons everything in season 7. Amy Sherman Palladino wanted the series to end with "Mom, I'm pregnant" and said that the theme song, "where you lead, I will follow" was foreshadowing for Rory essentially taking the same path as her mom.
That makes me sad. Like that sounds like a great story detail and ending for this. It’s not the best but in terms of writing and storytelling, it’s great.
Can you talk about how her relationship with Paris and how it changed in her college years especially? I haven’t heard much about how terrible Rory ends up treating Paris
Do you mean how rory ended up treating Paris or Paris treating rory?
Yesss I’ll discuss that in my deep dive :)
Everyone seems to forget that initially, Paris treated Rory horribly. She was always out to get her while Rory tried to maintain the peace between them. I honestly don’t feel that bad with how Rory acts towards Paris since it’s pretty much her karma from the start.
@@denys2787 also, it was rude how Paris pretty much forced Rory to be her friend rather than creating a genuine relationship. Paris was a pity friend because she had no one else that would tolerate her.
@@adela3153Rory didn’t seem to mind when she needed something from her.
IMO we are all too harsh on Rory and not hard enough on Lorelai…
She’s the example setting party in the show and she’s often allowed to behave very badly without being called out…
Yeah so many times Lorelai has been disrespectful or selfish and people forget about it haha
Not justifying it but I think it’s because when we meet her she is a fully formed person so we judge her lesser than someone we watch start to behave badly
@@ana_a7647 great point! I definitely hold lorelai to a higher standard bc she is an adult. That’s why when she downplays Rory’s missteps it bugged me so much. It’s like, you’re her mom not her pal
I do agree but I think it's because of how the narrative presents them. Lorelai is never really presented to us as a perfect person- quite the opposite really. We know the entire showrun that Lorelai is a flawed person who makes flawed choices, so when that happens we kinda expect it. And when Lorelai does something really bad, we're not really expected to take her side on the matter as an audience.
Meanwhile Rory is presented to us as this perfect kid. The narrative constantly tells us that Rory can do no wrong, she's wonderful. So when she starts doing many, many wrong things ...it's a tougher pill for the audience to swallow - especially when the narrative kinda frames it in the way where we're still expected to sympathize or side with her. So I think that's why people tend to be so harsh on her.
Yeah, I found myself much more often upset with Lorelei during the course of the show than I ever was with Rory's character.
I never disliked Mitchum or thought he was rude. I’ve heard much harsher criticism, and Mitchum said everything he said in a completely respectful and professional manner.
Addressing the point of Rory blindly believing Logan's dad and quitting school: I am quite convinced that she secretly wanted to get out of there and used it as a way to rationalise her feelings, at least partially. There's also the whole thing about gifted chidren suddenly running out of the gift (and I have been there, in part quit school over it myself but since uni is free to attend where I live it wasn't nearly as heavy of a decision as for Rory) but she is so willing and ready to just agree with him that goes, in my opinion, past the possible respect of authority, that I really feel like it played into her cards.
I really like Rory's character. Her decline feels incredibly realistic to me and I can relate on quite a few things she went through. The craving for attention and especially validation especially is something myself and many other 'gifted' children still fight with well into our twenties and beyond. I also appreciate that in spite of everything she had at her disposal, she ends up where she ends up; I can't really express it, but it feels fitting, and I have always liked shows that don't shy away from making one of the protags an objectively heavily imperfect person so I may be biased. It's incredibly refreshing. I don't think the writing is the issue; people are just not always rational. Their decisions don't always make sense.
I think that one key factor that Rory is still missing even in her thirties is making peace with the fact that she is not exceptional. I have this feeling I can't back up with anything that her confidence is not really supported by anything. Like you said, she raised the bar- or had the bar raised- too high, but she refuses to lower it.
My hot take is it's really not that big of a deal that Rory left school for a semester and lived with her grandparents. She needed to take a break and she was hurt. IDK I think it was smart to do before she wasted more money or time to a career she wasn't ready for.
Although we are frustrated, Rory is a realistic character and watching her story teaches us the lesson of entitlement
The creator/ lead writer for the show was ousted during season 6. How season 7 happened was never the intention for the show. It was supposed to be more like what happened in the revival. We were supposed to start seeing more parallels between Logan and Christopher, so when Rory finds out she’s pregnant during university, it would resemble what Lorelei went through. The cycle repeating was supposed to be bittersweet, because yes it’s hard to be a single mom and not what either of them planned, but the mother/daughter relationship that forms is priceless.
mhm and i really would like to know how she and Logan came to the cheating arrangement. Why not just be together? I can guess but i would like to know
Who Rory turned out to be is the product of bad parenting and bad family influences tbh, and while certainly as an adult she has to own her own choices, I think sometimes we don’t take into account enough about how our formative year influences really shapes us as people. When the foundation of you as a person is set on shaky grounds, things inevitably goes wrong. Rory is a very realistic representation of so many kids like her in real life.
I felt so validated when you said you started disliking Rory in season 2 because that's where I started disliking her too. I never see anyone pointing out how she treated Dean, who until that point was a good boyfriend and generally a good guy, only because they don't like him for what he does in the future seasons. I remember feeling like crazy bc I texted to my friend "oh I feel so bad for Dean, what Rory is doing to him isn't right" and he replied by saying "just wait, the guy is an asshole and deserves it" and I was like "NO HE DOESN'T??"
I’d rather watch a show about Paris cause she was actually an interesting character and it would have been so much more interesting
I really liked Logan, even though he had his own faults. He was the most hated of the love interest because of his privilege and background but he had a good head on his shoulders and was incredibly honest with her about his feelings.
“Logan Loved Rory” is a great quote regarding his character.
I’m so glad you brought up that Richard was an enabler. A lot of people just ignore his part in the family structure that created Lorelei’s trauma.
12:45 I think this is a great example of Lorelai stepping out of her "best friend' mode to her more "mom" role and STILL being disrespected and just outright ignored by Rory. So many people keep saying that Lorelai failed Rory as a parent, but Lorelai was NOT at fault for many of the mistakes that Rory had agency in deciding to make. Lorelai almost ALWAYS called her out on it, or at least pointed out that what she was doing was wrong, selfish, and self-centered. But tell me how many times that Rory actually ever listened to her mom, or even took into consideration what her mom was trying to tell her. Rory's mistakes are almost exclusively the result of her own implicit behavior and outlook, only exacerbated by the privilege granted to her by having rich grandparents who don't hesitate to coddle and spoil her and the town always seeing her as some golden child.
Overall, I think it was a great analysis! However, I personally do struggle to resonate with Rory quite a bit. I have sympathy for her but it is hard to be very understanding or forgiving of her behavior when she's had so long to reflect on herself throughout the series.
Yes, but you can not be the "best friend" for all the decisive years of your child's life, and then go to "mom" mode when she's not listening to you anymore. If she build a "best friend" relationship with her daughter, it's no surprise Rory kept her in that role for the rest of the time.
@@mirelasemanjaku Do you think mothers are only mothers? That that is their sole purpose and role in life? It should be perfectly normal for any parent to be able to act chill and normal like a friend but still be strict and able to provide guidance and advice like a parent about certain things. Lorelai doesn't stop being Rory's mom just because of that.
@@mcatherine36 she can be all the roles she wants with every one else. And with Rory to some degre, but when the main persona she is to her kid, is the "friend" and not the "mother".. issues arise. And Rory could have made plenty of friends her age. She needed a mother first from Lorelay.
@@mirelasemanjaku best friends are still supposed to give insight and criticize when needed, it is not supposed to be a friendship where only praise takes place. Hard situations show you who you can count on to tell you what could make you better, not just what you wanted to hear. Lorelai could very well still be a best friend and try to be realistic to Rory, but that would only work well if Rory could examine her mothers point and actually try to improve
Haha I totally agree about Rory’s boys just appearing outta nowhere. The only thing is I’d say if there was a really pretty girl who got perfect grades, read hundreds of books and was incredibly determined, ambitious and also confident and had a lot of self respect at such a young age I can see why she stood out to a lot of guys. But yeah they were unrealistically cute.
As someone who spiralled out of their academic career in their early 20s: It's not easy to get out of a rut once you're in one, especially when there's depression involved. You usually don't seek out the help you need of your own volition, at least not for a while, bc you might not recognise it as a mental breakdown that requires professional help. Especially back in the day when this show was made mental health awareness really wasn't where it's at today. Nowadays I feel like I hear and read everywhere that therapy is the solution to every problem. You know what, it would be nice if everyone could get therapy when they need it. But a) not everyone has access to it and b) not everyone wants to admit that they need it, and back in the early 2000s the general idea of therapy wasn't as positive as it is today - just think about how Paris and her life coach were framed by the show. We even know that Rory didn't think she had a problem or needed any form of intervention: When she's back at Yale she is required to visit a counselor and at first denies that there's any reason for her to be there.
I think watching the show through a 2023 lense is important. I grew up with this show and rewatching it today I realise the problems it had that I didn't recognise as a kid (the privilege etc.). However, I do think that perhaps younger audiences who got into the show later on don't appreciate that many young ppl back then were struggling with severe mental issues without having words to describe them. Terms like "therapy" or "depression" aren't even used in the show at any point to describe Rory's situation by the ppl who love her, it didn't even cross their minds that maybe what she needs is some councelling. Instead she is viewed by Lorelai to have lost her work ethic, be laissez-faire etc. when in actuality she literally couldn't take the pressure anymore of continuing school due to burnout of trying to please everyone around her and meet the high expectations they had of her. The thing with Mitchum Hunzberger was just what tipped it. I think Rory had been burning herself out all along and finally cracked. Also taking into account that she felt like Mitchum was actually starting to like her and she was impressing him at her job just to get shot down like that - I thought it was realistic that she would think he's just being candid and not just a huge a**hole and that she was hearing the truth about herself. Being told by her mother, her grandparents etc. who don't work in journalism that she is so good at it wouldn't make as big an impact as the opinion of an actual journalism tycoon. Journsalism was her only goal for most of her life. It's not like she would realistically just bounce back and be like "yeah ok, guess I could try sth else". I for one understand her and don't dislike her for it.
I admire the younger generations for their general outspokeness and mental health awareness. I'm gonna out myself as a millenial now and say that it really wasn't that like that back when my generation was at school. Depression wasn't a widely recognised thing, at least not on the scale it is today. It took me personally over 15 years to realise that I had been suffering from it since I was around 10 years old. Going through life with it without having it recognised early by my parents and treated led to many other mental problems I face now like (social) anxiety and also repeated burnout bc I kept ignoring my mental condition - being mindful of it wasn't sth I had been taught. Unfortunately this seems to be a common experience many millenials have. The only ppl I knew back then who were in therapy were those who had been harming themselves and the parents noticed. Otherwise good luck - you were pretty much on your own. #CompassionForRory
As a fellow millenial from Germany, I'd say this stigma around mental health might be more of an American thing overall due to the disastrous state of healtcare throughout the US, which is a shame :( I did go to therapy in my teenage years during this show's original run and never quite understood why they seemed to have been so negative about the sheer notion of Rory speaking to a counsellor of any kind -- because personally, therapy might have been one of the best and most helpful things that ever happened to me. Talk about experience a culture clash. And here's to hoping that the younger generations will continue to raise awareness for mental health-related issues for a long time to come!
Rory should have taken over Richards business. She was shown multiple times being a good manager and being able to handle stressful situations. She should of changed her major.
She wasn’t interested in business, though. I think being a writer (not a journalist!) fits her much better. Doesn’t necessarily pay much, but she could have worked in another job when she wasn’t writing, maybe in a bookstore…
@@Diana-qp2rwrory was lying to herself. Jess had to push her to the writing career, while she showed business instinct all on her own
I feel like working her way up as an editor for a well established publishing company was far more complementary to Rory's personality than journalism. She didn't have the tenacity, grit, and hard edge for it. She grew up far too pampered to be willing to go to war torn countries, giant, intense political rallies, and anything that was beyond being in an office.
The biggest problem with Rory was thinking she was beyond error. She was so sure doing everything by the book, in her studies, friendships, romantic relationships and personal experiences in general that she forgot, in fact never even learned, that in life who dares wins. You have to try, experience and make mistakes in order to know a little of this world (and still no one knows anything). She thought during the ENTIRE show that just bc she did everything right and was a good girl she was going to get her dream life when reality is so harsh no matter what kind of person you are. In real life you may be an angel you are still gonna get important things ruined and important things will taken away from you. To thrive you have to be brave, ambitious and tough skinned and rory failed in all of that, she didn´t have the slightest glance of grit.
I dont think the problem is her good behaviour, but how self centered she is and how she thought everyone would excuse her bad actions just because it's always been like that to her
You make lots of good points- It’s clear Rory is the darling of Stars Hollow and other than Lorelai moving there when she is pregnant with Rory and the town seeing her grow up no reason is given for why the town loves her so much. Endless comments are made about how beautiful and perfect she is etc etc and of course that would impact someone’s self image.
However with the three boys situation - plenty of people meet at high school quite easily without trying. It’s once you leave high school that you really have to network to find new friends or love interests. I don’t think it’s unrealistic or evidence that Rory gets everything she wants without trying just because two boys in her town and one from her new school like her over her high school timeline.
Also Tristan full on harassed her. His ‘version of flirting’ comes from that archaic ‘boys are mean to girls they like’ and is BS. Tristan called her names (including one about her sexuality - Virgin Mary), tried to intimidate her into spending time with him (would block her from walking past him), when she refused him he would get angry, and he was violent and threatening to her boyfriend. Rory kissed Tristan because she was really sad and so was he, and so that’s forgivable or at least understandable. Rory dating Tristan without him sincerely apologising for the way he behaved towards her would not have been forgivable.
(On the Jess note he was mean to other people but never Rory)
@@rosebyrd9896 yeah I’m so glad he apologised before they kissed because otherwise that whole scene would have made no sense
They moved to Stars Hollow when Rory was 11, it was said several times in the show
@@AD-pm4mp It seems there could be some continuity errors in the show regarding this. If you google it has been discussed on reddit. I remember the show stating that they moved to that inn that Lorelai worked at as a maid then a manager (before she went on to owning her own inn) when Rory was just a baby, they lived in the potting shed. Apparently they lived in their house from when Rory was 11 so perhaps that contributed to the confusion.
@@AD-pm4mp she bought the house when Rory was 11. Suki says it right after Lorelei finds out about likes relationship with Rachel. I just watched that episode a few days ago lol
Rory definitely made the right choice between Marty and Logan (but the wrong one about marrying him!) I would have loved if she realized she could be married and successful in her career (or let go of the career if she wasn’t passionate about it anymore!) and ended up with Logan in the revival, the ending they gave was so uninspired. 💔
I'm a bit late but awesome review! I wish Rory got an internship at stars hollow newspaper instead of going to uni and then she would've kept her small town self and been more wholesome. But the reflection on reality is why I love Gilmore girls so really I wouldn't change anything.
Ok some thoughts from a psychology point of view.
Mainly about Attachment style- the main thing that I think is never fully addressed is her relationship with her father. She is unable to fully form healthy relationships with men because she never felt loved by her own dad and felt like every guy was going to abandon her. She has the markings of an Anxious attachment style meaning her relationships become her whole world and she becomes self sacrificial but also believed she is owed something because of that and overcompensates from her high self esteem. This is also likely developed because of her mum which as you said she was forced to be her mum's bestfriend. She was parentified and her mum saw her as perfect till she did something that she disapporved of she was met with criticsim. Also parts where Lorelai gives her like the silent treatment when Rory disobeys her which like is so toxic and also denies therapy. Rory had to put her emotions on the backburner and anticiapte her mums reactions. Lorelai is better than her mum but is also toxic. No child should be as mature as rory is season 1-3, or be perfect.
We also see evidence of her later "flaws" in season 1 when she gets a D and has a breakdown- works herself to the bone, misses the test and has a meltdown. In year 12 at alevel i got a D on an essay (now year 13) and it felt horrible as someone who is also a high achiever like Rory and was always expected to get A's. Like Rory was expected to be perfect but she was never perfect.
also
This was the best Rory Gilmore analysis video that I have ever watched
I'm so happy you enjoyed it, so much love and effort went into it :)
It’s hard bc man, I miss the first season Rory. She wasn’t perfect but she seemed to have some sense of responsibility and kindness. It was very hard to see that go away throughout the show. Then the revival was like a slap in the face. She needed to have consequences that were not just a slap on the wrist. The writing totally fell apart and it made the character more of a cautionary tale than anything.
I would disagree with the point of Rory being manipulated by Dean and him leading something on maritally. Rory knew that Lindsey didn’t want Dean talking to her and therefore their interactions were obviously in secret. Also Rory knew Dean was still living with Lindsey. They were absolutely not separated or even seperating. You don’t get to sleep with somebody’s husband just because you disagree with the dynamics of their relationship and they’re arguing. She also wrote in her letter to Dean that she didn’t feel bad about what happened between them which was disgusting in my opinion. She has such a possessiveness over Dean. Deans marriage was doomed to fail regardless tho because he married Lindsey knowing how he still felt for Rory. My heart broke for Lindsey.
It honestly infuriated me when Rory turned down a high paying teaching job because “I don’t think teaching is my future”. Yeah okay but you still need money. You can still work a job you hate while trying to job hunt for a better one so you can SUPPORT YOURSELF.
I agree with you. Rory’s downfall began as soon as she left her mothers world and was brought into her grandparents. Most of us learn from a young age we have to do things we don’t like for instance work crappy jobs, answer stupid interview questions, pull 18+ hour work weeks for support ourselves so we can achieve our goals and live comfortably.
Hard work is something she should have learned in high school and collage.
Most people spend their late teenage years and early twenties working non stop to earn money to live on their own. But Rory never had to do any of this because she has her grandparents wealth to fall back on.
To Rory it’s always about what she wants and never what she needs to do. She doesn’t want to work hard or take a job that may not be the best but will act as an important stepping stone to build her career, but she NEEDS to so she can support herself. but she won’t do it because she had a safety net to fall back on (ie her family and all of stars hollow).
I think the reason she is so hated is the fact that she just became so unrelatable.
If we go back to season 1 despite having mega rich grandparents, she lived more or less like a normal person. She had normal problems like studying, boy trouble, daddy issues. And overall she lived a pretty normal life.
While some things were dramatized like the town of stars hollow because it’s a TV show, she was always a grounded character.
Until she stared living like a housewife without the husband and turned into a spoiled brat. I feel the show never acknowledged how unrealistic her life became in later seasons because most of us can’t relate to having maids waiting on us hand and foot, wearing designer cloths, and living in a mansion while we are jobless and dropped out of school.
Logan’s dad was honest in what he said to her. She was spoiled and she was used to winning. Rory didn’t like to hear it when she was wrong. She was implosive and sadly I saw everyone else around her grow and mature.
I remember watching the show (seasons 1-3 specifically) as a young child and looking at Rory and thinking "ha, this is who I want to be!" However, watching the show 10 years later made me realize how flawed Rory actually is, even during her time at Chilton, when I still really love her. The problem was not that she had flaws, we all do, and she was still very much likable, the problem was that everyone painted her as a perfect angel, a golden child, that could do no wrong, so she never felt the need to improve. Everything came easy to her, even when it shouldn't have; for example, getting accepted into Harvard despite a serious lack of extracurriculars, or having a ton of guys show up on her doorstep although she lacks social skills. She never had to deal with failure or setbacks in her early teens, which made her really bad at facing criticism as an adult. If the show had made her face some hardships during the early seasons, and not painting her as "perfect" her character development would have been amazing.
It’s so interesting that the topic of psychotherapy came up in the series and it’s even more interesting to see how it’s portrayed and how they used to think about it (not so good/judgmental). Rory is at the end of a line of people with issues, who have never learned to communicate and treat other people properly. Rory didn’t fully learn that either (Lorelei told her to lie to dean about kissing Tristan). Lorelei was a letdown for her parents because they wanted her to be exactly the way they imagined. But with Rory it’s similar. They put her on this pedestal, constantly repeat the narrative that she was born to do great things, couldn’t fail, she was so admired and loved by everyone for who she supposedly was. There was not much room to explore who she really was and what she really wanted (when you look in the whole Harvard vs Yale topic and how Lorelei made it about herself in the beginning). And Lorelei didn’t even give her the space she asked for (and she was an adult at that time) when she wanted to take a break from uni. So Rory just wasn’t supposed to fail or just be the maybe more average person that she might was. But she was a little less of a rebel, more a people pleaser and didn’t gave up the relationship with her family. It’s more tricky and less obvious than with Lorelei. It’s harder to put the finger on why Rory 'ended' up that way and got so stuck. I think she was kind of trapped in all kinds of expectations too and the perfectionism, the this-way-and-no-other mindset broke a her.
And yeah the whole father situation is also not helping..
I think Rory is realistic
The mistakes she did showed she was human
Yeah she was almost unrealistically perfect before haha
Right but she didn’t learn and adapt, that’s frustrating to watch and to root for.
@@SerenaSkybourne so
This was never argued though? The point is she sucks yet is treated like an "angel" with a "halo"
Exactly, even considering the revival. Also, not everyone has their life together in their 30's so I believe her struggles to find her own path. So, yes, this was good writing.
I’m watching Gilmore Girls for the first time so these videos and discussion are so serendipitous!!!!!! I think Rory’s problem and arc are that of the Millennial gifted child. Rory is the big fish in a small pond and is very confident, especially for one so young. When her self confidence is challenged then she shows her less then like-able behaviors.
This first shows with Jess, he challenges her and she is smitten by it but also knocked off her axis. She gaslights Dean for a loooong time and misses her mother’s graduation. This goes into overdrive when she has her heart broken by Jess and goes to Yale. At Yale she is a nobody and men are no longer falling all over her. She is a small fish. She starts fixating on Dean and has the affair with him, with no care for Dean’s wife’s feelings until she sees it for herself and even then her guilt is more about her and how she feels (this is evident in her letter to Dean).
This may be a very unpopular take, but I think what Mitchum says to Rory is 100% true about her at the time he says it. He is working in the reality of a tough industry and she, up to this point believes that if she does what “you’re supposed to” then you will be automatically rewarded. This is the first time she is seriously challenged. It breaks her down and when she eventually gets over it and picks herself up she really changes and starts to take more risks. She takes what Mitchum says as advice and rises above it. It’s very cool how I first got angry and saw her as unlikeable then as her story plays out it became evident that it was actually well done….a real character with a real arc.
Haven’t seen the revival yet 🫤
Didn’t I’ve how the show handled therapy. Emily balked at the mere suggestion of Richard seeing a therapist before he left his job. Lorelai is flabbergasted when Rory has to speak to a therapist after leaving Yale for a year, and Rory is very hostile throughout the entire experience. The Year In the Life was a very half-assed attempt at therapy too. Lorelai and Emily didn’t actually learn anything about their relationship during sessions - the show could have really done something there and they didn’t.
The biggest critique I tend to have of this show, and Rory as a character, is the period of time between when she realizes being exactly like Emily is not for her and then when goes back to Yale. There is less than one episode between when she gets into an argument with Emily at the event she planned and when she is back in school continuing to study journalism. I never could understand why she didn’t take more time to actually THINK about her future. It’s like she sees life in black and white. To her she either has to be a single, strong, highly educated, award winning journalist or a rich, married, dumb, house wife who plans useless events. Why did she not try and examine other options? She could’ve changed her major, or joined a new club, or gotten a different part-time job. Why is it journalism or Emily Jr. and no in between? I also hate how Richard basically insults Emily during this time by insinuating that she is useless and stupid and then it never gets resolved. I just wish Rory had taken a minute to figure out what she actually WANTED out of life when she appears to have hit rock bottom. As you said, she continues down a path she thinks she has to take even if it might not be serving her anymore. Maybe if she had figured it out she would’ve been a lot happier when we saw her again in the revival. Then again, as sad as her fate is, I agree it’s very realistic writing and it’s nice to see that reality on television sometimes.
Since a bunch of these videos came up in my feed I was mulling over Rory, and kinda feel like there's a sprinkling of "Midwit" for Rory. (Not the best way to put it, but a stark enough point). That she's smart enough to succeed but not quite intelligent enough to know her limitations in life. Which is certainly on a different level of you're succeeding at Harvard...but she shouldn't have been competing at that level.
If she'd gone to a regular high school and a middle of the road college, she'd probably have stayed in Stars Hollow and been very successful and accomplished in life. But getting in to the Ivy League requires those aspects that she didn't have.
So yes, excellent examination of her!
I started re-watching the series and it's so interesting how much the first few episodes tell us how Rory is going to be disappointed later in life. The headmaster at Chilton literally says to her on her first day, "you'll either excel or you won't but failure is a part of life." We also see a lot of Lorelai putting her own wants/dreams onto Rory with the "it's our dream she goes to Harvard" Also as a Communications/Journalism major myself there are SO MANY avenues in media aside from reporting that you can do. You can edit, copyright, sell ads, broadcasting, design work. She probably would have done well in another avenue in journalism, so why wasn't she being educated on those opportunities.
She totally had tunnel vision for journalism, which meant she kept closing doors and losing opportunities. It's a real shame
just started the video but wanted to say: when i first watched the show i was 13y/o and i was really annoyed by her dropping out of yale- probably bc i was also a ‘golden child’ driven by academics and academic validation. Only when i rewatched the show while at uni that I understood rory wanting to take a break from school to figure out what she wanted but also to rediscover who she is.
true, and college isn't for everyone, nor does it need to be
But the frustrating part is Rory never actually DOES figure out what she wants on this “break”. She just ends up back in school studying journalism like nothing has changed.
I’m so excited that you’re doing Gilmore Girls videos!! I love PLL and that’s how I found your channel and those videos were always so fun to listen to. GG is my all time favorite so I’m looking forward to all of your videos and what you have to say.
Without social media, I love Rory. She motivated me to actually do better at school without losing time for my family and friends. I will always be thankful to Gilmore Girls for expanding my taste in movies and music.
Yes I agree, how else would Rory be? She had close family ties to some of the oldest generational wealth in the country but grew up in her and her moms house where her moms thing was she did it all on her own. So Rory had a strong single mother and somewhat humble beginnings (I mean the big and cute house in Connecticut is not as humble as it was portrayed in the show) but she was never and would never truly struggle
Sucks Chad Michael Murray left after season 1 because I would had liked to seen his character Tristan evolve
Season 2, but yeah.
I did think Lorelei over reacted about Yale, she could have let her take a break at home for a while to re-evaluate. In a way it was worse than Emily and Richard, they didn't abandon ship when she got pregnant, and Rory was only questioning her direction. Not the end of the world
True! It should be okay to take a break to re-evaluate for such a young person and I think Lorelei should have tried to support her finding the right path for her. It might have been better for Rory’s future.
I don't know if it was an overreaction tbh I see it as Lorelai thinking she was going down a bad path.
This just after also stealing a boat, ignoring Lorelai's questions after picking her up from the police station to answer a call from Logan, partying, crying on the floor about Logan who she believed was a bad influence.
Lorelai knew this gap year was a result of Mitchums criticism and that she was bailing.
Which as parent you don't imagine you wanna encourage her behaviour. She wasn't forcing her to stay as a journalism major, just stay to in school and figure out what she wanted to do, rather than just quit.
@@Rianoa19it's never too late to learn though ☺️ like Rory could use a refresher course on interviewing lol
We know that Mitchum was kinda right in the moment, too, because on the meeting, Rory did not jump in with any ideas or take it as an opportunity that she is there, she just observed others. She was unsure what was expected from her, but Mitchum was looking for willingness to take that risk to speak up, even if it is not necessarily her place. It takes huge bravery to do that, and I understand why Rory did not do it. I also think Mitchum was expecting too much of her. But from his point of view, she did not measure up to his expectations. Which, granted, were too high for a young girl.
I believe the reason so many things feel like they go backwards is because Amy Sherman-Palladino (the main writer) wasn’t there for S7. So when she got to doing the revival she made it pretty much ignoring everything that had been done in that final season.
In a way, you could say the revival is her true S7, but with everyone being older.
I’ve never even watched Gilmore girls and here I am again enjoying a second video about it 😂
I actually don’t like Rory or Lorelei. Emily is a horrible mother BUT Stars Hollow more than made up for what the Gilmores lacked. Lorelei and Rory both we’re very entitled spoiled and judgey. Lorelei is just as judgmental as her mother just not as vindictive and manipulative. But they (Lorelei and Rory) were adored by Stars Hollow. Think about how Luke treated them and catered to them throughout the series. Lorelei had no problem using Luke and ignoring the obvious fact that he had a crush on her.
I've never hated Rory. I could understand her motives and the reasons for her desicions and mistakes.
Me too ! I think people can be a little too harsh on her , like we all make mistakes it dosen't make us horrible people.
@@rayray7847 treating people like shit and refusing ro grow does make you a bad person. Otherwise what does??
I can understand when people do bad things. But yet I can understand how that doesn't excuse their behaviour or make them good people
@snoozyq9576 Oh come on for most of the show she's a teenager and by the end of it she's like 19/20 . We all act immature sometimes and we're selfish and mean but unless you're always ALWAYS like that then it's okay just apologize to people and move on . Maturity isn't this straight line going up , we falter and act entitled but we Learn . We all made similar mistakes to rory because it's a part of growing up this isn't a black and white issue , 90% of people aren't like that . I think rory is written realistically which is why we identify with her ( yes even when she's in the wrong ) and that's why people don't like her ( and that is valid you don't have to like her ) but honestly **sometimes** **some people** hate her because of misogyny . People don't hate Dean or logan for cheating but hate rory . Logan is really immature and entitled and people don't hate him for that but they drag rory . Jess was angry and took it out on everyone and his actions at the party were really bad but no one talks about it , instead they say " oh rory didn't deserve him " . They're all flawed , but for some reason rory and lorelai get all the hate in the Fandom and I don't get that . I don't like double standards . Tho I'm not talking about u specifically or anything also sorry if this doesn't make sense , English isn't my first language lol
I like your analysis but feel like an important point was left out: no matter how good of a friendship Rory and Loralie had or how positive they made their memories, there is a lot of trauma there. Yes, Loralie did her best but she’s clearly more friend than mom. As cliche as it may be, kids need a parent instead of a friend they may feel they also are responsible for. I see this as a great example of parentification. Rory’s story arc is very personal to me because, even though it’s not a direct parallel (sadly, no rich relatives to fall back on, not an only child), I also responded to my trauma associated with parentification through perfectionism. I was that amazing student that everyone believed would end up doing something incredible. I worked so hard for a single, very specific career with no backups and was, ultimately, told I might not be cut out for it. That destroyed me and sent me into a spiral. I had a big falling out with my parents and cut one off. I’m currently working on being comfortable with my “failure” and rewrite my path. Point is, while it’s frustrating to see the mistakes she makes, Rory is a very real example of the evolution of a “gifted” kid, a “very mature for their age” kid. A kid who tried so hard to control their story that then can’t cope with the reality that life is uncontrollable.
Honestly, I can't really dislike Rory. I mean, yes she does a lot of horrible things, but most of the time I just feel bad for her. The way she frankly over reacts to Hunsburger's criticism to me really shows that she has A LOT of issues, especially confidence wise. To me she seams like one of those people that seem very put together on the surface (excelling at basically everything they try, always punctual and well organised), but just below that, they are just so keeping it together.
I mean, I also find it annoying how spoiled she can act, but I think that her real problem is her lack of confidence. Especially because I think it could also make you spoiled, because I think that entitlement is much easier then actual self worth (basically, convincing yourself that the world owns you something, can make you, at least partially, feel like you are actually worth something).
As you said we shouldn't forget how messy the relationship to her father really is and in general how chaotic the early years of her life must have been. As much as I think Lorelei did her best to give her a good life and raise her well, she was herself not even fully grown, probably had a lot of mental health problems and was also more or less broke (literally living in a garden shed). I think under all these circumstances, no matter how hard you try, you can't give your child a completely stable upbringing. I think once she realized how good she is at school, she took academic measurements and general outside approval to get self worth, instead of getting it from the inside. She probably from a really early age learned to rely on plans and structure to give her a sense of stability, so when things don't go to plan, she crumbles.
I really didn't like that rory slept with dean while he was married to dean I really feel bad for Lindsey because she loved dean so much and wanted her marriage to work
Do you remember how when she was trying to fix everything after she dropped out of Yale, she was trying to get a job and practically harassed a guy at a newspaper of some sort, waited there every day until he agreed to interview her, she got accepted and we never heard of it again?
I think it would be rly interesting if you were to do a character study on Hermione Granger. She had the traits which Rory lack; grit, determination, discipline and ambition. Hermione also went through a lot when in school (I’m not talking about the war), that Rory didn’t experience. Hermione worked hard because where she came from. As you said though, Rory’s future was realistic, but so is Hermione’s. I could do a whole essay on this lol 💀💀
Please do elaborate! I want to hear more!
@@cosmok-1367 I’m definitely thinking about it!! I will probably work on it for a day or so, due to college classes, but when I finish it I’ll post it here as a google doc :))
Okay update. I’m almost done with college classes and summer break is around the corner, so I will have time to write the paper. I apologize for the wait
@@charlottel0ckewo0d555looking fwd to it
@@charlottel0ckewo0d555hello, I am rlly interested in this, have you finished the essay??
Rory's downfall was quite surprising, but however realistic and tbh our reactions to the writers 'destroying' our Rory, is actually a huge critique un us too and were just like everyone else in stars hollow, - who wants to still uphold this 'precious Rory'. Rewatching, Gilmore girls now I actually see many character traits in Rory in the earlier seasons, which is argued to be have been written in randomly later e.g S4,- the tree scene where she claims the tree is hers on campus like girl be for real LOOOL. Or in S2, when she allowed Stars hallow to literally all gang up against Dean, even though she did a lot of shady things.
She masks her issues with perfectionism in school and work. Then does impulsive things in her love life because shes actually dysregulated and doesn't address it. I think both cause each other. she's socially dysregulated so she chooses control in career progression. but then becomes burnt out and is impulsive.
She's the kind of person that goes on American Idol or The IT Factor and cries when judges give her reality. And cries and tells the judges "but my family and friends tell me I am so talented and special and perfect and nothing I do is wrong!!!!"