I still don’t really see how being a wife and a mother is a ultimate goal. I feel like people think women can’t be their happiest selfs if their not a caretaker of someone else. I don’t really see the prize for being responsible for other peoples well being when I can just worry about myself and eliminate a whole lotta stress-I’ll mentor someone’s kid if I need to feel something that bad. People always say wait until you’re 40 and lonely but I’m getting there and have been dating the same person for years. A marriage isn’t a guaranteed forever relationship or even necessary to have someone in your life.
Sometimes beautiful women feel so entitled. On the other hand, beautiful women are desired by so many men, its difficult to separate the lustful from the genuine lovers
Facts, but the guy in the friend zone is the genuine one, the one with genuine interest...that’s how you tell. That dude will do anything for the girl but because that’s his nature, she’s not aroused by him. Lol. It’s a paradox
I have met very few beautiful woman that acted entitled , in fact I have not met very many beautiful woman with any real problems , I have had 14 girlfriends in my life and most if not all were very beautiful . of the 14 relationships 7 , yes 50% ended because their parents or someone stepped in and put a stop to it . If you are a beautiful woman and you are having men just vanish , and you have no Idea why , you should consider that your Father , brother , friend , boss , landlord , Etc. might be stepping in and telling the man that you no longer want him around and to get lost or get falsely accused and sent to prison or just beaten up . A lot of woman have these "guardian angles" and are totally clueless about it. When it comes to woman with problems the few I have ever ran into were overweight woman with bad attitudes and the hyper religious ones , the beautiful ones are pretty normal in my experience.The woman I just started getting serious is a Russian asian and looks gorgeous and there is nothing wrong with her personality , but she tells me that men she has tried to date have just vanished , so I am expecting a shakedown from some one eventually , but this time I am going to handle it differently , I am very good at Taekwondo , when it becomes obvious what's happening , I am just going to jump kick them in the head . They will not be expecting it and if I win or loose I will probably get the girl instead of the highway.
@@onlygood222 Of course. But that's a sexual privilege that most women have over most men. Usually when men say they have trouble dating, it usually means they have trouble getting any girl to sleep with them at all..When women say they have trouble dating, they are having trouble getting the right man they want to commit, but they have little trouble getting men to sleep with them.
Whats given for free from nature has zero worth. The brain of the hot female dont reward the seed of loosers/betas/simps. This is how the species evolve, we all need to work and improve overself too the « next level»
It definitely does. I think there are some of us who default to that thought process... and blame ourselves or go to fix ourselves to fix the situation, not out of desperation but we'll take the blame on ourselves where blame is truly due but that turns into the other person putting the wrong of everything on us. Wow that may not have made sense.
@@andreyt1436 the comment was the common denominator was me. Sometimes we're the ones causing the issues but in a different way... when an issue comes up we are always first to jump and say ill fix this by bending backwards and altering myself for the other person. Being ultimately a partner pleaser. Sometimes the change is coming to the middle and not being such a partner pleaser. There are some of us who are too easy, too eager to fix that we forget ourselves.
I wish it was that simple. A lot of women, especially a attractive woman, attracts all types of men and a lot of them do not have good intentions. You have to vet so heavily that it makes it hard to truly find a good mate and sometimes you just lose hope. I know men with no understanding of woman issues will say “that’s because women only want the top 5% or attractive women have no personality” when this is not the case. Some men will LITERALLY sit in the friend zone for YEARS for the opportunity to sleep with you. NOT be in a relationship with you, not marry you... just sleep with you. Also, A lot of times when attractive woman decide to date a different variety of people (not top 5% because they are fully aware a lot of them are dicks) they will date someone “regular” I guess, for lack of a better word and those are the SAME MEN that will turn dating you into completing a task or a prize and question “ If I can get her I wonder what else I can get better”. Men have a very bad way of not looking at women as human beings with emotions and feelings, and just because you’re attractive you’re put on some type of pedestal and your looked at as a level to be conquered or a game.
*I also notice that young women are very rarely "put up on game" because as comedian Bill Burr put it, "no one corrects them BECAUSE they wanna f-ck 'em".* *Or even as a guy who sees the danger ahead, it's a dilemma because if I try to warn a woman/put her on game , I'll run the risk of losing out on sex because I'm "nagging" her. However, if I "let women do whatever the f-ck they want" (in ignorance), they will inevitable f-ck themselves up, but at least I can get sex from an emotionally damaged woman.*
"Men have a very bad way of not looking at women as human beings with emotions and feelings, and just because you’re attractive you’re put on some type of pedestal and your looked at as a level to be conquered or a game."......Guess you have to give up since you hate all men because all men like that. Meanwhile, there are plenty of women out there in meaningful relationships with men. You will never be a part of that
Only looking for someone because of their looks is not suitable long term. Trust me attraction is a flash and high that people get addicted to. Just be honest with yourself l. Do you want a relationship or just someone attractive to sleep with ? If you want to be happy then these are the simple steps 1. Don't look for happiness and fullfilment in only people. Learn to be happy by yourself so you're not emotionally hungry for it. You do this by spending time alone doing what you love 2. The person you date or even marry should be your best friend. Not just a pretty face. You keep having issues in your relationships because when the attraction dies, you're left with your personalities to work with. 3. Trust me on this. A relationship with humor and intelligence is much more powerful than one built on attraction and superficial trends. 4. Turn of the media and celebrity relationships because they brainwash you into thinking that their lifestyle is the best one. 4. Love is not complicated. People make it like that.
David Black ... David your response is a pure example of what I was trying to say. There in the friend zone for a reason they should not expect sex but yet they sit there and expect sex. Move on emotionally? They should have no other alternative emotions. And will sit there for years with alternative motives hoping that you will change your mind and THEN if you do, have no good intentions.
That makes no sense whatsoever. There is no soul, and the body dies and withers. Do you imply that "heaven" is up? Ok, up is infinite directions, so someone dying in China "going to heaven" is not even the same "up" as someone in the U.S. going to heaven, so where is this heaven? If it's a physical place, point it out, since it's "up". If it's not a physical place, then it can't be up. Thus, the comment makes no sense.
SuperN0va it’s safe to use our common sense and say that up is away from the planet no matter where you are on it. Away from the planet past the 2nd heaven and into the third by way of death. It’s the only way to get to the 3rd heaven where The Most High God resides.
R V anybody can turn on a stove or oven doesn’t mean they know how to season the food correctly or add the right things or even make the food taste good I never meet a white/red/pink person that can cook our people can cook.
I grew up with a narcissist so I am well versed in being quiet. Keeping your mouth closed allows you to see stuff. People react to silence in the most telling ways. Good way to weed out BS.
Growing up I looked at a lot of attractive people as acting arrogant or stuck up. But when I went through this phase where I was getting attention from men, it attracted a lot men with ill intentions and it caused me to put up a wall, and a lot of people saw that wall as arrogance. Maybe it was but there was a whole lot of annoyance, and hurt that I was trying to keep away from. At the end of the day everyone should acknowledge their behaviour and hold themselves accountable so they can learn from it and move forward.
@@Netherwolf6100 physical attraction or lack there of doesn't make some one the ideal person to date. I've dated people who were "dorky" or "geeky" and they were not any better or worse than someone who wasn't. So it's not about that.
when Beyonce was younger she once said she didn't date much because even if she gave her number to a guy, they never called thinking the number was fake or whatever. They never took beyonce seriously because they all thought she was way out of their league. I thought it was so sad, basically everyone struggles with dating and maybe more so if you are pretty and succesful.
That's a non-problem though. Ask for a guys number and call him right there and then. Then both of you have each others numbers and know that neither is fake. Hot women don't "struggle" with dating, they just have the wrong mindset. Put as much effort as guys must and you will find a good partner. The people who actually struggle are young guys of new generations who have been raised in a way that makes them white knights and SIMPs, they don't get to date anyone in years at times unless someone wants to use them, be it for validation, money or status, and when they get to date they constantly get cheated on. These are the boys and men that go and commit suicide because they have no one to lean on in life, all they are being told is to "man up".
@Diana del rey I have 5 brothers, male cousins in Ny, Cali. We all above average looking men. Growing up even with homies, whenever a pretty girl gave up the number we called and all of my homies did the same. Never heard of a dude not calling bc the number MIGHT be fake?? So it's possible Bey could be lying for a nice sad bio to make her appeal normal to fans.
Developing Her ...Girl Why You UPSIDE Down...somebody once told me ...MY WORLD WAS TURNED UPSIDE ...Down ...after my Divorce ...call me 6106388226...GET YOU TURNED BACK...Up ...
This is the actual way to fix the dating problem. It’s always with the self first. Your thoughts create your reality.. it even says it in the Bible.. “As a man thinks so he is.” Change your thoughts you Change your life..
The #1 reason dating is difficult for ppl who score high within standard beauty definitions... is so simple. Stop trying to complicate it by saying your actions (lack thereof) are the issue. The need to blame in society is ridiculous. The simple fact is that beautiful ppl attract ppl who are more psychologically visually focused. Not internal quality focused. When someone doesnt have all the glitter to look at, touch or lust after, others tend to want to get to know them for who they are (inside)... not because of what they look like. Yes. Everyone has preferences. But ppl who search and select based primarily on looks... are usually vapid. Which would be just fine with a vapid female. But the "beautiful" ppl that have depth... have zero interest in their shallow counterparts. It's just that simple. Don't ever change who you are in your core... to please another. Change from within because you want to become a better version of YOU. For YOU.
Yea but also a lot of very attractive people are very stunted in terms of the growth of their personality. They have never had to be funny or interesting to get peoples attention so they really don’t know how. When you get to talking to some of them you realize that there’s nothing there.
@@benja303 That's only if they started life beautiful. A lot of people start off as the proverbial "ugly duckling" and therefore develop a depth of mind, heart and personality. Then... they grow into their looks. And become misunderstood by 99% of humans. 😎🖐😊👊🖤💚💜💖
Exactly and I can’t tell you how many guys only want to get in my pants or called me stuck up or a tease or gay because I wanted to have something real and be treated like a human not a sex toy
What she exhibited was self reflection and sought after the traits that were holding her back. If you have many consecutive failures then maybe it isn't other things out of your control, but you are the problem. She recognized that.
I remember in my senior year of HS, I wanted to ask this girl I like and knew fairly well to prom. I was a little nervous because she was one of the popular girls, taking AP courses, was on the student council and basically had her whole life planned out so and I assume she already had a date. To my surprise she said yes and told me I was the only guy that asked her out.
Well the difference is that you shouldn't be a dick all the time. Leave being a dick for work or needing to get something done, be gentle at home and in your relationship. People would rather be alone in peace rather than someone trying to start a fight over a subway sandwich.
Whenever a guy pays too much attention to my looks, I get nervous that he either won't pay attention to who I am or have a preconceived notion of who I am. So I find guys with substance to match my substance that way I can nerd out and not be nervous.
Exactly.i wouldnt say im pretty but i got ass and most guys just see that.makes me wish id have been born skinny and see if i get someone who loves me for me and not my body
Another thing to think about is that you’re just not compatible. If a guy likes your personality he will pay attention to it. What you described is when the only thing the guy likes about you is your looks, which is why some of those dudes are in a late night “bar mentality”, where they only focus on physical attraction in the hope of a one night stand or something of the sort
That's what women are now doing and they are be coming bitcHes..some of them whOres and lilth vibes towards other women as well! Too much of anything swells up and pOps oVer time. #femLEzlog1c ♀️♀️👀🏃🛣️🤮 Edit: I am obviously very hurt and trying to figure out this 'love gaMe.' I know the rest of us pretty much are too. Truth is, I cannot make her obey me besides where I end up killing her somehow. Honest. Women force me to look at myself, EVEN as a woman! ....Until I change, take action and free myself from my siNs, this life will always defeat me and every other relationship too, family included. #pOnder1ngasUsUAL 💭
No, being able to be selfish and stick up for yourself is a must. But for a lifelong relationship you should focus on the other and the partner should focus on you. Don't put yourself above your partner.
The hardest thing for anyone to do is to self-reflect and see their own faults and in turn make changes. If you can do that success is inevitable. This is the main reason she was able to find a husband and stay married. I agree with everything that she says.
She’s spitting straight facts; I stopped responding to my wife’s argument bait since 2 months ago and it’s been smooth sailing, more sex, more cooked meals, more peace.
The main problems are: 1. All humans are imperfect and people want the other to accept their flaws and short comings but cant do the same for the other. For example, a man who cheats wants forgiveness and another chance but if he is cheated on it is VERY rare for him to take back a unfaithful women. And on the other spectrum a woman who is aggressive and lashes out physically and verbally at their male partner wants the man to be a mature and not lash out back at her the same way and to forgive her. But if he does this, she wont tolerate it for long (a.k.a an Amber heard) 2. Men in general want to be respected and treated like a man and women want to be desired and loved. And thats fine when they both complete their roles...but now in society we have Men who want respect but dont earn or deserve it while the men who DO deserve it are not given their respect and in return they resent women. And the same goes for the women. The good women often go underappreciated and in return they wont trust men anymore and resent them. while the ones who are catty and evil get treated better. 3. The point here is both parties have to fullfill their roles...if you cant offer loyalty, love, respect and a genuine friendship to the opposite sex, you shouldnt be looking! If you cant offer what the other needs dont be selfish and entitled and demand the opposite sex to fullfill all your needs when you in return are not giving them theirs or not able too
You hit the nail on the head with this one. Especially that first one. Literally just had a situation with my good friend because she didn't like my driving, of all things, lol. Super silly. That whole wanting to have control over the situation instead of sitting back, shutting up, and just riding. It's a small example but very telling of how we are as people. We can't just let the other person drive and let go of the controls. And we always point out others flaws so quickly not realizing that when we do there are always 3 fingers pointing right back at you.
Amen! The brainwashing is rife in modern culture wanting women to believe there's something wrong with them if they don't "put out". Any woman who can resist that truly deserves the label of virtuous.
I’ve seen guys/people be very judgmental on site when it comes to beautiful women. A mixture of being intimidated, afraid, assuming she’s already taken...In exchange I see many beautiful women who are unhappily single and lacking self esteem. Tag on feeling inadequate, knowing that people judge and mistreat them based on their looks and the assumptions they suffer under based on folks wrong judgement.
empty shogun a lot of men act like it’s a given that if they pay attention to you at all you will sleep with them etc women can be turned off by a guys personality too or just realize their values don’t match etc just because she wants to get to know the guy doesn’t mean she wants something else either or that she is a tease
Yes, know when to shut up and listen is so helpful. So many times when we argue in relationships its about winning and being right. A relationship is a partnership so there are no winners in an argument when your opponent is suppose to be your teammate. We also tend to love others how we want to be loved when we should learn how they want to be loved and vice versa. Love this.
Exactly if you are a team you are not winning by winning an argument or proving the other wrong. Each team member should work to the betterment of the team.
In scriptures it’s said that not everyone is promised marriage. So just live your life happily, single and satisfied. A man is a bonus. Don’t be a cinderella. Be you.
For me being a pretty woman is not enough. If that pretty face doesn't come with a pretty character its not worth it. At the end of the day, its a long ride that everyone wants to be memorable.
Looks is a depreciating asset-love this. Women need to learn to work on their inner beauty and not depend on their outer beauty. It can be a fatal flaw: being beautiful can not only make you feel deserving of attention from men, colleagues, life-and that's not true-its just an additional asset-that does depreciate but can also be useful in helping you discern when a man is only interested in your looks or when a man truly sees you for who you are. And yes the common denominator is you but that doesn't mean you're a bad person it could mean however you need to change your approach and channel the way you receive and interact with the opposite sex. Definitely observing more, learning more, being more humble-helps to achieve this. Thanks for sharing!
Only looking for someone because of their looks is not suitable long term. Trust me attraction is a flash and high that people get addicted to. Just be honest with yourself l. Do you want a relationship or just someone attractive to sleep with ? If you want to be happy then these are the simple steps 1. Don't look for happiness and fullfilment in only people. Learn to be happy by yourself so you're not emotionally hungry for it. You do this by spending time alone doing what you love 2. The person you date or even marry should be your best friend. Not just a pretty face. You keep having issues in your relationships because when the attraction dies, you're left with your personalities to work with. 3. Trust me on this. A relationship with humor and intelligence is much more powerful than one built on attraction and superficial trends. 4. Turn of the media and celebrity relationships because they brainwash you into thinking that their lifestyle is the best one. 4. Love is not complicated. People make it like that.
Not true at all, Looks don't depreciate if you don't consume a western and/or non-vegan diet. Physical aging is generally associated with eating meat,dairy, fried/processed/microwaved foods. Things that aren't meant for your body to consume. Google an extremely beautiful woman in her 70's named "Karyn Calabrese". A raw vegan. You're welcome ;)
She said two things that stick out to me, "Agreeableness determines relationship longevity, success, someone's ability.... Nice people stay in the race the longest." I like her honesty about how she mentions having to step back and just listen in terms of her relationship with her husband and I'm sure that branch is out to other people as well. She also mentioned how if she's in this long-term commitment, marriage with her husband, then she should be able to trust him enough to hear his point and go with it even when she thinks there's a better alternative for has more to say. That shows maturity and growth, considering what she's come from. This is awesome.
Oh lawD Jeezus yeah...in my day i always find that when i get a hot woman to date....i always run compliance tests (SIMPLE ONES TOO..LIKE lets go to thsi restaurant....or lets see this movie....if she obliges am gonna drop the biggest loving she has ever seen but....) to see if she will be my team mate..best friend..have my back...look out for me..cover my blind spots...as i do hers..etc etc etc...MANY MANY MANY times....these women put up a HUUUGE RESISTANCE....it takes a long time to essentially get her on your team....its the hardest thing to do....i have met very few women that were already team players ready to get on with the relationship...THOSE ones are very rare.....
Yep ..I purposefully play compliance games with any woman I date to see how much of a team player she is...if I notice that she will not be like minded I ditch her fast...highly agreeable women are the best...dont mean a doormat...but you know what I mean..she is reasonable kinded... she will never be single
Only looking for someone because of their looks is not suitable long term. Trust me attraction is a flash and high that people get addicted to. Just be honest with yourself l. Do you want a relationship or just someone attractive to sleep with ? If you want to be happy then these are the simple steps 1. Don't look for happiness and fullfilment in only people. Learn to be happy by yourself so you're not emotionally hungry for it. You do this by spending time alone doing what you love 2. The person you date or even marry should be your best friend. Not just a pretty face. You keep having issues in your relationships because when the attraction dies, you're left with your personalities to work with. 3. Trust me on this. A relationship with humor and intelligence is much more powerful than one built on attraction and superficial trends. 4. Turn of the media and celebrity relationships because they brainwash you into thinking that their lifestyle is the best one. 4. Love is not complicated. People make it like that.
@Green Mills It takes investment. At one point before we got together I actually disliked my current partner a lot. I thought she was quite arrogant and argumentative on getting to know her my perception changed a lot, but also the owing fact she made a super human effort to change a lot of things before we got together. We are very close friends now so it is possible.
Yea relationships in this social climate are beyond toxic and empty. They put these things in front of you to make you want to desire them and giving you little to no chance to reach them. You have to just learn to be happy by yourself first. I do it through God.
#1 is everything 👏👏👏 Sadly, a lot of people lack the emotional intelligence to understand that making sure they're happy is their own responsibility! And it always start with being happy/content by yourself. 💁🏾♀️✨
lly S...''cause back in her mind she KNOWS The fellas just Wanna HIT..it & QUIT..it...i..e..janet jackson,,,Tisha Campbell,,,Lisa Raye mcCoy...Vivica Foxx...,,,,Halle Barre Former Miss AMERICA Vanessa Wms. and we now Have ex-wives GOING AFTEr NFL...players ,,,NBA...players ...i,,e,,,NICOLE MURPHY ..,,Sahnaa Lathan,,,Bitch from the APPRENTICE ...AMBEROSA...Dated ...that WWF/WWE/ WRESTLER...& phoenix Marie ...now a ...porn STAR...W-o-w....Bitches...will Be...Bitches...
@humaneshadowx71 ...janet had some WORK DONe HERE LATELY ...right...+ she was OBESE...AND YOU SAY ...50...cent once Dated her + plus ...Vivica A. Foxx... SO WHO ...50...with ...nowAdays...2020...!?...
I consider myself a beautiful intelligent woman, and most men I dated in the past , were intimidated by my accomplishments, they said that I highly thought so much of myself, or when I caught them in a lie, then i became too much. it wasnt until I met a man who wasnt intimated by me. He is his own individual and doesnt need me to feed his ego 247. We actually get along very well and he let's me be myself.
Harsh reality here, but it has much less to do with intimidation and more to do with the “politically incorrect” nature that makes up our biological hardwiring. Women who are insubordinate, in powerful positions, or are the breadwinners of the household, go against the very nature of a man. On a primal level, it is in a man’s nature to want to conquer and dominate...Open up a history book if you think this is BS. Women who directly or indirectly communicate submissiveness to a man will always be more attractive because women who fit this bill leave enough room for a man to...be the man. As in; be the head, be the leader, be the dominating force. Women who are headstrong, ferociously independent, in a position more powerful than the man, etc. will directly or indirectly communicate to him that he will not be the dominating force or power owner in the relationship because said woman is already occupying that slot, which, naturally, is an unattractive position for a masculine man to be in. Typically, the only men who aren’t “intimidated” by this are men that are; A). less masculine and more so in touch with their feminine side, as they don’t mind being the submissive force in the relationship. Or, B). Men who don’t really understand their nature and think that they can make it work, only to find out in the long run that it just doesn’t work for them. They will blame it on numerous other things, but, at its core, that will be a big reason why they are dissatisfied in the relationship. Because they didn’t “feel like a man.” It’s great that our modern society allows women to excel, get ahead in positions, and also have a stake in dominating roles, but - be warned - women in these positions will almost always have a harder time in the dating market. Without fail. Call it ego, call it intimidation, call it whatever you want. Feminists will try to call it “patriarchy”, but the only thing any person should really be calling it is - unfair. Because that’s what it is. Nature...which, despite our current politically correct atmosphere, is in fact - very unfair.
@Porfirio Rubirosa That's not being intimidated that's having standards. And the common sense to not waste your time on a woman who doesnt respect you.
@@ACM9407 Some important facts...reality here. As women we are sold by Western culture we can have it all.....That is impossible and goes against our fundamental nature as carers and meant to be the softer sex...Sacrifices will be made as a result of the notion of feminism...Usually the sacrifice is being a present mother(actually raising our children) and a nurturing wife...homemaker...as we become too masculine and see those vital roles as something to avoid. Never the less I'm not saying women can't have pursuits interests...but for me family should..must come first, at the sacrifice of climbing the work ladder ...me developing my career .
Im sorry nice people get the shit end of the stick too. I have the same dating issues as any other girl. In fact girls who aren't nice seem to get farther than me in relationships. I think the hookup culture we are in is what makes trying to date seriously a difficult task.
And the “shut up” filter gets you only so far. You’ll get taken advantage of and feel regret that you didn’t speak up when you had the chance at first...
I was recently on a date and got ghosted . I’ve been considered beautiful to most . The guy I went on a date with had no conversation. The chemistry wasn’t there at all (he was a very attractive guy “ . I was just eating my food and out of nowhere he says “you look difficult “ I was like HUH??!! How do I look difficult? He couldn’t answer.he talked about another date but the next day I text him how was his day and I was blocked . Not to mention he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and watch movies (I told him negative 👎🏾) he said he hated when girls think it’s going to be a Netflix and chill . Then what is it then ?
When he said that you looked difficult, that simply meant that you looked hard to get or difficult to get in bed. He was mad because you wasn't easy like all of those other womenhe slept with. That explains his lack of conversation on the date. He was probably use to women throwing themselves on him and it didn't work with you. 😆
DeliciousBeautii1 yep. Blocked her cuz she looked to have standards. I wouldnt even be offended. And u see he told a blatant lie "most girls want to netflix and chill" no u wanted that sir. Thats why u blocked her after she declined. Wasnt worth the effort anymore
Before you listen to this; I wanted to tell you, that you are beautiful and exceptional. Also your a phenomenal human being; I love you and I hope positive experiences will start happening in your life, if they haven't already. Keep moving forward my friend; start adopting positive and beneficial habits & behaviors. Eat healthy and treat yourself with kindness, in addition to others also. Fair well my friend; God Bless you 💖
Women already have ideas in their head of what kind if relationship they want. They just dont have a face of the man to go with it. When they find a man, they insert him into their already preconceived ideas of what their relationship should be like. Then get mad at the guy when things dont pan out. Men dont give af abt relationship's until we meet that woman that shows she's relationship material.
Oh... MYYY GOOOOD! That first one got me all mind blown! Dammmn... Was that, like your theory or what? Cuz it makes a looot of sense Bruh! This comment is underated
@Wonder Woman personality, or having a physical attraction that are pleasing to the eye, are both "materials" that make up an individual. Depending on a guy's taste in women, when a guy meets a woman, the materials that make up that woman will determine if he wants to pursue a relationship with her.
I was engaged to a woman that had this exact problem. No matter what I did, she kept starting fights based on these preconceived notions she had of a) what I should be like and b) how all men 'are'. My actual personality and actions did not change any of those 2 things no matter how long or hard I tried.
Beautiful women have the lowest self esteem, this is because the average looking men are not confident in themselves to either approach or talk to these women on a dating level. This then limits them down to the so called bad boys and players who are not looking for a relationship and will mess these girls around leading the girl to question herself and doubt if she is good enough for the man. That’s where it all stems from in my opinion.
I can partially agree, but remember that the average looking guy's lack of action is only half of it. If he approaches, he's likely to be nervous and screw up the hello whereas the cocky bad boy would not. The woman being approached would judge the average guy against the confident men she's used to interacting with and reject Average Joe way more often than not, especially during this Instagram and OnlyFans era where females can get a 10,000+ follower base. We're not in the cute old days before social media where the hot girl might take a chance on the awkward guy. Why would she when she's a celebrity on social media, making sexy TikTok videos and posting narcissistic selfies of herself?
I really struggled with dating, as a physically beautiful woman, until I removed myself from the center and placed the Lord in that space. Game changer!
Could you tell me more about how this worked out for you? I've been trying to do the same for a while but its so hard to come across Godly dating advice these days.
I’m considered “beautiful “ but I was too nice and naive and getting taking advantage of, these traits has failed me in the dating world. Now I feel like men aren’t honest and yes I’ve dated different types of guys and they all were not honest or lasting. What I learned is that I have to work on myself because I didn’t realize my beauty and my self worth. If I valued myself I wouldn’t put up with trash men. Now I finally found happiness and being alone but I’m afraid to trust another man. I’m so happy and don’t want anyone to destroy my energy. I also like to add, I’m a lover not a fighter so I value conversation and other perspectives instead of confrontation. Not all “beautiful women” are assholes but if they are I can see how they become that, for some..
So let a man make the effort and if he doesn’t, don’t let the door hit him on the way out 😘 for a truly beautiful woman with a beautiful heart a man will do just about anything
I feel the same men just wanna use u and they mostly end up settling with random women who don’t have much to offer so dating isn’t worth it to me anymore
I like that she talks about being a disagreeable woman. It’s favorable in competitive work environments for sure, and in fact being assertive to some extent works too if you’re in a male dominated field of work. However, in relationships it doesn’t work that well. I am disagreeable and polite, so I may not say much or say it very bluntly but I do show my disturbance on my face non-deliberately, and I do cut people off in speech and in my circle of influence. So I’ve gathered to learn how to be more empathetic, I have a strong bullshit meter but I gotta keep that running in the back burner and keep it quiet so folks feel welcomed by my presence and listening ear.
I'm very disagreeable but very polite too and I need to be QUIET but it's so difficult, I would literally scream at someone be angry very quickly I'm pretty but my personnality is just not that good
Yes, I realized that I don’t always have to give my opinion nor do I always have to be right! When I am passionate about something we are discussing or working thru, I have to state my thoughts and the reasons why. Then, I allow for a pause so that both can think about what each said. We come back to it later as necessary.
When you can love and accept yourself for exactly who you are, and BE exactly who you are, not what people expect you to be. THEN you are gonna find the right one, but more accurately you will accept them and their faults because you accept yourself. You won't self sabotage because you'll believe you deserve good in your life.
Preach it. The most important relationship is with yourself. Honestly, so many people are victim to their own self-sabotage. Even being confident and self-assured, I have to remind myself that I deserve to be loved wholly and even when I'm not at my best.
“Nice people stay in the race the longest” it’s a true statement. I’m still searching for a good girl but most good girls seem to like the bad guys and the bad girls like the good guys.
I respect your opinion to the subject matter. I’ll take it into consideration. Choosing a good companion is one the most important decisions a person can make... if not the single most important decision, so any advice is helpful.
Girls like the bad guy because he is actually nice. Because he's kind and nice and chats and gives her time to be herself. Haven't you noticed that most players are sweet talkers?? Or they really are kind with their gestures. While other guys are too slow or too pushy. When a guy is talking to a girl and directly compliments her or is too pushy it shows that he can fall in love with any other girl. So she feels like she's just like any other typical girl and isn't special at all and thinks he has many other girls on his phone(which is actually 100% the case) . So those guys are the bad guys... The bad guy you're talking about always approach the girl as a friend. This will give the girl time to feel good and have a great convo. When he starts noticing she's into him he makes a move. Which will turn into flirtation and then the relationship. But what's bad about they guy is that he's a cheater * so they end up getting heart broken and forget that he was actually a very nice gentleman friend in the very beginning so they decide to never fall in love with a bad guy but with the nice guy. And then again the nice guy turns to be the cheater and so on and so on. Most of the girls and men don't see that the bad guy is a nice guy but gets bored fast later or isn't that into the girl or loves her nurturing energy and her innocent image. Which is for him not too complicated to handle. Which the girl doesn't see that cause she's already in love with him. Or else a girl would never step into a relationship with that guy you say is a bad guy. Biggest example is Justin Bieber. He talks very kind and sweet and then treats girls like shit. So the gir is confused + a guy never treated her that sweet and nice so she will never forget that no matter how bad(player) a guy is she will always go back to him. The girl that gave him his all he treated her bad Selena and Hailey too he cheated on her. But difference between Hailey and Selena is that Hailey forgives and is nurturing which is what he wants in a woman. While Selena is the one who wants nurturing and doesn't forget. That's why a bad guy (Justin) ends up with the good girl (Hailey) if he ever gets bored he might cheat with the thought she will forgive me for sure (confidence) and if she doesn't I'm loved by many girls I'll go to the next one. Also Justin is in love with how Haileys lifestyle. She works out she eats healthy she works hard she does many things so she's a type of a competition which guys love. The hardworking independent who works for herself for herself and not for others. While Selena is clingy and would rather eat so much food and stay home than workout which gives the impression to a guy that she's only doing things for others rather than for herself. So self love is what men love about women. The self love part is what every guy loves. Both the bad guy and the good guy. But for the bad guy as I said the nurturing part is their weakness so they tend to always like the nice girls.For guys it's different. Guys like hard to get so they like the bad girl. Guys fall in love with women who are let's say busy. She worksouts she works she studies she has her own thing going on and doesn't care if they guy isn't into her she'll move to the other and men smell that. This to a guy is very attractive. Men find girls that rely on them as nice* or girls that give already as a wife material that is ready to forgive him for all his mistakes. This is boring to a guy. That's why people say the Golden rule to a healthy great relationship is that the guy loves the girl more than the girl loves him. Ofcourse there are exactions but very very rare ones. The attitude the how she lives her life is more attractive to the man. So when she makes time for him he feels amazing cause she's the busy bee who made her time just to him so he's special. Once she doesn't he get hurt and if she gives too much time he starts losing interest. While for the girl it is how she feels and how safe she is with a guy and how féminine she feels. Women love to feel very féminine infront of the guy they're into. That's why they get very jealous if they know the guy they like is looking at other girls cause she starts losing that confidence feminine feeling. That's why women fall in love with a rich guy cause he provides her a stable healthy safe invorenment. Men think it's the money but it actually isn't. (ofcourse it can but that's just a few) Ofcourse we can't deny that men fall in love for the pyshical more than women do. Hot girls are to fuck and pretty girls are to marry. This is how most guys think. Which is very bad :/ hope men start changing this perspective but.. I guéss they never will. This is how men and women fall in love and get hurt. That's the difference. That's why they don't understand each other and say "I don't understand guys" "I don't understand girls"
@@2020-p6y huh... yeah, it’s a date and at that point you are “just a typical girl” - the point of dates is to get to know each other so you’re not “just another girl”. You met up solely on the grounds of physical attraction, what do you expect? It’s a combined effort of both parties to get to know each other. What is not too slow and not too pushy? The line is clearly so thin that most guys don’t fit into it, just “the players”.
Everyone keeps mentioning that black women should be more agreeable .... Black women should never agree to their demise!!! This is something that is not addressed properly.... Women are GROOMED to move upward no matter what their current position is .... Not to the left not to the right and certainly not DOWN!! Black men refuse to reevaluate their position in relation to their community and the world ... And want in particular BLACK women to accomodate and AGREE to a lower standard of living And we're not .... I'm sorry I don't believe in silencing what you feel is wrong ...
Dont be agreeable or submissive but dont blame that on anyone else but the woman in the mirror. Feminine and submissive doesn't mean that woman is idle in every aspect of life.
The self hate began with feminism (government gave money for fatherless homes), wearing weave, argumentative, most obese, murdering babies within the womb and the obvious bleaching of skin. But there's so much more. Being hired as attack dogs in the work place to push black men out. Yes, self hate has been an issue but you cannot create a society with combative women. You've had 53 years of " I'm a strong and independent woman , I don't need a man!" Don't cry now. It was your choice.
@Mike in NZ Why would a high value black man date/marry a black women that thinks like this? what man of any race, in their right mind, form a relationship with women who constantly demonizes men, is incredibly delusional about their station in life and constantly drones on about how "I don't need no man"? And that's not even getting into the fact that black women have the highest obesity and abortion rates. Like how does it make sense to take on the ideology (feminism), that was started by a old, rich white women because she was upset that a black man could vote before her? Also why the fuck do black women go on and on about "shouldering the responsibility of the community" then complain about how the men they raised being ain't shit nigga's? Explain to me how does any of this make sense? Why do people expect black men to worship the people that hurt them the most?
Except if you reject someone a lot of the time you are called stuck up when maybe it’s for a legitimate reason. Or called gay cause you don’t want to date till you find someone that treats you like a person.
It’s the same with men. It’s a blow to someone who is insanely ego centric when it brings them down to earth. They act aggressively and impulsively. Just know it’s their behavior that’s the problem not yours
When you realize your toxic traits and remove them, is when you truly level up as a person. This woman did that and I gotta say I'm impressed with her.
“Hot girls on Instagram complain about dating” - considering it takes a certain degree of narcissism to run a goddamn Instagram account of oneself I wonder why would that be the case. Oh wait...
That's like saying American's don't always have food. Yes, they do. Not choosing to eat the food you have is hardly the same as not having any food available.
I'll add to this chain. Being alone for a woman is a choice because she can choose between spending the night alone or dating online, on social media, or through people she meets. For men, we don't even get those options. If we go to sleep alone, it's because that's all we could do. There's no back-up options where we have women on speed dial unless we're attractive players. Seriously, I'm really tired of explaining that men and women have different dating lives. What's it going to take for women to understand the men's perspective?
@@pointblanks When you start realising that you also cannot understand a woman's perspective, since you're not one, then maybe you'll have the understanding you want on your side. That comes as a friendly input - peace.
@@magic13christispage That's a lazy statement. I can twist your words back to you since you possibly can't understand a man's perspective. Since you can't possibly understand me, a man, I don't think you can tell me that my understanding is wrong since you're a female. Unless you have examples to counter me with, making a general statement like that helps no one. Saying that my perspective is incorrect because I'm not a woman means women can't understand men either so why don't we all live in gender-segregated villages then? That would solve the gender war and dating problems 🙄 So just because I'm a man, there's no possible way I can understand the female perspective? I gain perspectives by talking to both male and female friends and by reading the trends. Sure, I won't be able to get the full picture of life as a woman since I'm not but saying I never can or should is stupid. It's hard for women to believe, but you really do have a lot of options to choose from, especially on the dating apps, but if you don't think any of the men are good enough, you don't consider them an option and say "there's no men out there to date". Men, on the other hand, don't get any options unless they're chosen by the woman and she agrees to meet up. I mean literally not even the option of dating a woman on his level because he won't get any matches if he's average. Only way for him to get chosen is by meeting all her criteria like career, height, and looks or she will swipe left. Big difference. The average woman can get 100+ matches since many men will say yes to a date as long as she looks decent. The average man though doesn't get anywhere close to that number. He's lucky if he gets 2 after swiping 100+ profiles. Why? Women have become picky and if they're getting so many matches, they can afford to only choose the absolute best men out of the 100. I've talked to my female friends and I'm well aware how overwhelmed they get from having hundreds of matches on dating apps. It's the paradox of choice. However, it also led to them and many women becoming very picky and a lot of the times, arrogant and narcissistic. If they agree to a date with some man, he's most likely the a man that many women have swiped right to and he himself has many matches (interestingly, nowhere close to an average woman's number of matches). He can afford to be an asshole and play woman after woman. There's not many of these desired men out there, but since women want to date these guys over and over again, they eventually get frustrated on why those men don't commit to them and say things like "all men are assholes". Remember that the majority of men can't even get a date since women are chasing the small percentage of these fuck boys. You should try talking to some men and learn their perspectives rather than not bothering with it with an excuse of not being a man. Trying goes a long way. I try to understand where my female friends are coming from and this is what I know. If a lot of women Iike yourself don't bother learning the average guy's perspective, the current dating problem will stick around until most men say fuck it and don't try anymore. Many women think guys can get sex on demand and get overwhelmed with tons of matches like they do. FYI, the far majority of men don't. The average woman is the one with a serious advantage because she at least gets options of good & lackluster men while the average man doesn't even have a list of women to choose from. Hope this helps.
lol it's not. It's because they have too many options and go for the "best man possible" who tends to be an asshole. Trust me, men like myself have approached beautiful women and we would strike out over and over. Women are the ones who choose if they accept the guy's date or not. It's not because a beautiful woman gets 0 approaches. If she does, all she has to do is fire up one of the countless dating apps on her phone and get dating practice in! Way different experience compared to a man's.
Johny ...THAT IS A TRUE STATEMENT...''cause that is what ...T.D.-jakes TOLD BEAUTIFUL Lisa Raye McCOY in That interview ...damn...shame AND ALL YOUR BEAUTY MAY ONE DAY BE YOUR DOWNFALL...The Bitch ain't Been right since ...Damn...Shame...
Really? I'm glad you noticed that too.. I thought I was the only one complaining. You sounds like country songs fans. Here is my email address andercole123@gmail.com.. you can text me on it that way we can talk
3:10 Actually, this isn't quite true. People that score high in agreeability don't necessarily have longer -- or, at the very least, healthier -- relationships. The reason is that people who score high on agreeability tend to not voice their concerns or ever say that something bothers them or that they don't like something. Instead, they keep their frustrations locked up inside until, one day, they can't take it anymore and they blow up. There's a reason that men tend to experience this a lot in relationships with women because women tend to score much higher in agreeableness than men, which is why a lot of women won't voice concerns until, one day, they blow up on him and end the relationship and the guy is left feeling like it came out of left-field. You want a balance between agreeable and disagreeable so that you're not constantly starting arguments over every single little thing, but that you're also not just bottling things up that bother you and that will eventually cause you to blow up because you'll just end up miserable.
Women are massively conditioned to be "nice" and agreeable from birth to the cost of their own happiness, so no surprise that women score higher on agreeableness.
@@indrinita Women aren't "conditioned" to be nice any more than men are. Right from childhood, boys are taught to be nice to each other and to behave just like they teach girls because being nice to each other isn't a gendered thing but is a normal thing. That said, it's up to the individual, themselves, to choose whether to be nice or not. Women aren't 'victims" of their own choice to be nice to other people. Women don't have to be nice any more than men do. If you don't want to be "nice", then don't be; just be prepared to deal with the social consequences that men also do for not always being "nice." Also, "agreeableness" has a genetic component to it, as well, so it's not merely nurture. Kids, both male and female, are taught to be agreeable; it's just that young boys are more likely to choose not to statistically speaking, and young girls are more likely to just listen to what they're told -- i.e. being agreeable. However, just because someone is agreeable isn't necessarily a bad thing. Being highly disagreeable isn't any better than being highly agreeable and being highly disagreeable can be just as damaging in relationships.
I completely agree. I know women who are overly agreeable and they are being cheated on left and right. A woman should feel comfortable enough to be able to express herself bc that’s how women operate and that should not be shut down to appease a man. The right man knows that his woman needs to express herself and he will listen to his woman. Any man that has issue with a woman expressing herself is not a man, but a boy. I believe she meant that there should be respect. In expressing herself Shan was probably disrespectful to men bc she had a idgaf attitude. Women should, however, respect their partners and vice versa, of course.
The endless options is true bc women have twice as many options bc so much of our “worth” is based on looks. A good looking guy will have options too but, if he can’t provide he will be thrown to the wayside. The key is to not let the compliments go to your head bc , entitlement is not an aphrodisiac to men.
@@CashCowz962 --Yeah. The Bible knows what it's talking about when it describes the end times. 2 Timothy 3 2For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be *boastful and proud* , scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and *ungrateful*. They will consider nothing sacred. 3They will be *unloving* and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. *They will be cruel* and hate what is good.
I’ve been too agreeable all my life....never got me nowhere. We have a distorted concept of what a relationship is. The societal suggestion is unnatural.
I think it depends on where you're too agreeable. If it's at work or in a professional environment that may not be the best approach but of it's in a relationship that you want to go some where it's important to have that trait on both sides.
@@youngkey3051 Yeah that's true but trust me a long term relationship with a strong so called "alpha" that lives on his own terms doesn't work. It just doesn't. Why do you think the divorce rate is now 50%? Women are attracted to and shack up with, make babies and marry these alphas because that personality is designed to attract them however once the baby is made the relationship is entered or the marriage contract is signed those same qualities that seemed so great and sexy are the same qualities that make a stable relationship difficult. That's the truth. I think being an alpha only works if there's balance.
Alexa valberg I’m guessing you’ve never heard of alpha women because that seems to be the wave now. Ironically this is an issue predominantly on the Western Hemisphere. We ain’t delusional....
@@LordWinter true but putting yourself or beautiful ppl on a pedestal just because of perceived beauty is really superficial. It's a vanity but a powerful one. Beautiful women can manipulate shallow men very easily. Sometimes better off with an average looker
She's an enneagram type 1 who knows how to deal with the pitfall of her type in relationship, being hyper critical and wanting everyone to do things your way. I'm learning recently that depending on your personality type you tend toward different behaviors that undermine your happiness. Good for her for figuring out her Achilles heel and then working to change her behavior around it. May we all be so blessed.
I am a "beautiful woman", I look like a model but I struggle to find meaningful relationships. I have more to offer than my looks. I love intelligence but it's hard finding a guy who wants to have a deep, meaning conversation with you. I'm an introvert and spend most of my time on my own and with my family. It sucks.
Yes to this. Being an attractive lady causes jealousy in the relationship. For example I've had boyfriends tell me I look good in baggy bum clothing. So I were it more and other people don't see my beauty. Negating them talking to me.
Be more agreeable. AKA being submissive. AKA cooperating the opposite of rebellious. Pretty simple really, but pride makes it complicated. Unfortunately complicated.
Highly disagreeable women..i know one...39 never been married engaged or wed...no kids...she can disagree about the most obviously dumb things and be wrong and still trhwo a tantrum and threathen to hit men....she told me last week that she is going into the navy...i laughed and said good riddance....great body...face is a 4 but she is nice persona....but the shorty is too disagreeable for my own safety...GOOD RIDDANCE!!!..lol
There’s a thin line. I’ve dated men in the past who wanted me to be agreeable while I did everything for them, while they cheated on me, and one I even almost lost my life to. If you want to be agreeable with each other, boundaries and intentions MUST be established and you must prove to be a gentleman. When I am treated well by the one I love I am very agreeable indeed and go out of my way to do kind things for you. I think it takes a lot of growing and maturing to reach that point unless you were raised in a super religious household and get married as soon as you turn 18 (which can still end badly sometimes).
People stick around beautiful longer even though they don’t like them, they like being seen with them. At least with a less attractive person that person knows pretty quickly if someone likes them for who they are or not.
Really? I'm glad you noticed that too.. I thought I was the only one complaining. You sounds like country songs fans. Here is my email address andercole123@gmail.com.. you can text me on it that way we can talk
It's because we are so used to people trying to impress us or be intimidated by us that when a guy treats us like an average looking woman we finally feel like someone is not objectifying us and that's rare. It makes us finally feel like a human. Not a shallow unbothered rude diva, as most of men assume we are.
It's all about personality. If your personality is not something he wants to be in a relationship with then you'll just be a pretty conquest. If you are the stereotypical hard to get high maintenance hot girl that flaunts your beauty as your most central trait and most redeeming quality (i.e. your personality is lame) then yes you will be treated like a prize and nothing more or your relationship will be toxic (e.g. Blac Chyna, Naomi Campbell, Rihanna, young Shan Boody). If on the other hand, in addition to being pretty, you are also a well developed three dimensional individual who is gracious, gifted in connecting with others, lifts up people and inspires love and respect from others (i.e. your personality is desirable) then you won't have any problem (e.g Jada Pinckett, Chrissy Teigen, Ayesha Curry, Michelle Obama, mature Shan Boody etc) ...Just being pretty isn't good enough. But instead of looking inward you're still blaming men and dating. Did you not listen to anything Shan Boody said? Be more introspective. Address what you are projecting and things will fall into place.
I know one thing I’m single and I’m so tired of people asking me why like it’s my problem like it’s my fault I literally do not meet guys like that. The current guy that I am friends with told me that he’s not gonna stroke my ego 😔
Problem is: oftentimes nice people don't even get the chance to start the race. I've got quite a number of friends that are really nice, honest and trustworthy people. But guess what, they're not the ones getting the women. They are the ones who listen to girls/women in a relationship, hearing "why can't he be more like you?". And I personally realized after a few relationships, that being too nice and too agreeable in a relationship doesn't necessarily make it last longer. In the beginning I tried to adept, find compromises, change my behavior according to her demands to a certain extent. My conclusion today: it doesn't work that well. My motto today: compromises are good and necessary, but don't try to change who I am. And I can get quite explicit about what is fine with me and where I draw the lines. The result: the relationships last longer and are not as stressful as before. What helps as well is to have his own standards or "basic requirements". Why should it always be up to the women to have the "demands" and "checklists"? Tell her what you expect from a woman/relationship. Find out what each partner is bringing to the table. It's pretty easy to find out who she really is after she realizes that being pretty and providing sex isn't enough for you to enter a relationship. Wow. What a rant 😅
I once read in a men's magazine that men should look for women with low self esteem if they wanna sleep with a woman quickly. So a pretty girl with low self esteem is a bonus. You guys should be proud of yourselves! Wake up ladies. If men aren't offering you anything, keep it moving.
A lot of beautiful women for one don’t know how to communicate without being defensive or playing victim. Guys who have self respect or on there purpose don’t have time to put up with that.
True, but it's irrevelent because there is an endless pool of men that will put up with that. They will sacrifice their self-respect even for the slim chance of pushing their genetics into the future with that "beautiful woman".
This, what you're doing is exactly why they'll get defensive because you're projecting an entire character unto them without even knowing them. Your mindset when approaching them is already set in a negative vibration which is then felt by them hence the follow up reactions of negativity.
The most attractive thing a person can do is take personal ownership for themselves. By attractive I don't just mean romantically. You are respected by strangers, cherished by friends, and valued by your partner. The moment we start pointing the finger it just creates an internal struggle. Love seeing videos like this.
Yeah true you should be more agreeable in relationships if you are already a disagreeable person. But idk a nice girl who’s too agreeable is kinda boring so it’s all about balance, they should learn a little disagreeableness to avoid resentment. It’s all about knowing yourself.
So true. Most women tend to fear a hot/pretty/sexy woman because they believe that all the guys would go for her and ignore them. The reality is the opposite: as a guy, I’d want a relationship with the approachable “girl next door” type of woman any day of the week. The hot/sexy ones are actually extremely intimidating to men. It’s a similar thing with guys. Most men tend to feel all the women would go for the road-rage filled Alpha male at the gym with huge biceps and chest simply because they fear/respect that kind of a man. The reality is more subtle: women often prefer a more intelligent, sensitive, kind, loyal, caring, yet assertive man for a relationship. I guess it’s a common human fallacy.
Finding a meaningful relationship can be difficult for both guys and girls. Women in general don’t have a struggle when it comes to dating or having sex. Not many things are required from us unlike guys. Guys are expected to have a car, approach us, take the initiative, ask our number, ask us out, pay for everything since the first date, pursue us, court and romance us, send us flowers, be a gentleman, propose, buy us a ring which averages 3 months of their salary, and the long list goes on. We pretty much just have to show up to the date and enjoy the free ride. This is another example of how most women throw equality out the window when convenient. Maybe I am the minority but since the first date I do the things I mentioned in this paragraph. Come on girls, guys ALSO deserve all the things we expect and demand from them unless we are spoiled princesses who feel the world should only revolve around us. Relationships are supposed to be all about TWO people not just us. There are bad guys who just want sex but there are as many girls who just want to be with a guy because of his money 💵.
Right, I wasn’t trying to be that person but who’s not beautiful bc they don’t look like her. Everybody looks at others through their own eyes and like what they like.
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How can I listen to the rest is it on a podcast?
I cant wait till we can be big like this i love doing TH-cam and she is goals lol everythingeverything she said i agree with 100%
I still don’t really see how being a wife and a mother is a ultimate goal. I feel like people think women can’t be their happiest selfs if their not a caretaker of someone else. I don’t really see the prize for being responsible for other peoples well being when I can just worry about myself and eliminate a whole lotta stress-I’ll mentor someone’s kid if I need to feel something that bad. People always say wait until you’re 40 and lonely but I’m getting there and have been dating the same person for years. A marriage isn’t a guaranteed forever relationship or even necessary to have someone in your life.
Honestly came to the comments to see if anyone addressed the fact she looks and sounds like Liza koshy
Mixed Knight Fool to each their own. Not here for that. Lol stay well
Sometimes beautiful women feel so entitled. On the other hand, beautiful women are desired by so many men, its difficult to separate the lustful from the genuine lovers
ABSOLUTELY!!! great point 😌😌
Facts, but the guy in the friend zone is the genuine one, the one with genuine interest...that’s how you tell. That dude will do anything for the girl but because that’s his nature, she’s not aroused by him. Lol. It’s a paradox
That's a great point.
I have met very few beautiful woman that acted entitled , in fact I have not met very many beautiful woman with any real problems , I have had 14 girlfriends in my life and most if not all were very beautiful . of the 14 relationships 7 , yes 50% ended because their parents or someone stepped in and put a stop to it . If you are a beautiful woman and you are having men just vanish , and you have no Idea why , you should consider that your Father , brother , friend , boss , landlord , Etc. might be stepping in and telling the man that you no longer want him around and to get lost or get falsely accused and sent to prison or just beaten up . A lot of woman have these "guardian angles" and are totally clueless about it. When it comes to woman with problems the few I have ever ran into were overweight woman with bad attitudes and the hyper religious ones , the beautiful ones are pretty normal in my experience.The woman I just started getting serious is a Russian asian and looks gorgeous and there is nothing wrong with her personality , but she tells me that men she has tried to date have just vanished , so I am expecting a shakedown from some one eventually , but this time I am going to handle it differently , I am very good at Taekwondo , when it becomes obvious what's happening , I am just going to jump kick them in the head . They will not be expecting it and if I win or loose I will probably get the girl instead of the highway.
@Mr. Marshall Just a wild guess but I bet your not a beautiful woman , how would you know what they may or may not have to contend with ?
Hot girls don't have trouble dating. They have struggles finding meaningful relationships. There's a difference.
I only date to have meaningful relationships lol. I don't just date for fun, for the most part
@@onlygood222 Of course. But that's a sexual privilege that most women have over most men. Usually when men say they have trouble dating, it usually means they have trouble getting any girl to sleep with them at all..When women say they have trouble dating, they are having trouble getting the right man they want to commit, but they have little trouble getting men to sleep with them.
Lol true. Good point. Actually, I had to teach myself to view dating the way men view dating.
Whats given for free from nature has zero worth. The brain of the hot female dont reward the seed of loosers/betas/simps. This is how the species evolve, we all need to work and improve overself too the « next level»
@FujitoraTheGreat Say that to Tinder the genes. not to me. This is how nature works
“The common denominator was me” This realization will change your whole life.
It definitely does. I think there are some of us who default to that thought process... and blame ourselves or go to fix ourselves to fix the situation, not out of desperation but we'll take the blame on ourselves where blame is truly due but that turns into the other person putting the wrong of everything on us.
Wow that may not have made sense.
Could you please elaborate?
@@andreyt1436 the comment was the common denominator was me.
Sometimes we're the ones causing the issues but in a different way... when an issue comes up we are always first to jump and say ill fix this by bending backwards and altering myself for the other person. Being ultimately a partner pleaser.
Sometimes the change is coming to the middle and not being such a partner pleaser. There are some of us who are too easy, too eager to fix that we forget ourselves.
A woman that takes accountability for her actions already stands out from 95% of women. She gets 2 cool points from me for saying that.
Not really.
I wish it was that simple. A lot of women, especially a attractive woman, attracts all types of men and a lot of them do not have good intentions. You have to vet so heavily that it makes it hard to truly find a good mate and sometimes you just lose hope. I know men with no understanding of woman issues will say “that’s because women only want the top 5% or attractive women have no personality” when this is not the case. Some men will LITERALLY sit in the friend zone for YEARS for the opportunity to sleep with you. NOT be in a relationship with you, not marry you... just sleep with you. Also, A lot of times when attractive woman decide to date a different variety of people (not top 5% because they are fully aware a lot of them are dicks) they will date someone “regular” I guess, for lack of a better word and those are the SAME MEN that will turn dating you into completing a task or a prize and question “ If I can get her I wonder what else I can get better”. Men have a very bad way of not looking at women as human beings with emotions and feelings, and just because you’re attractive you’re put on some type of pedestal and your looked at as a level to be conquered or a game.
*I also notice that young women are very rarely "put up on game" because as comedian Bill Burr put it, "no one corrects them BECAUSE they wanna f-ck 'em".*
*Or even as a guy who sees the danger ahead, it's a dilemma because if I try to warn a woman/put her on game , I'll run the risk of losing out on sex because I'm "nagging" her. However, if I "let women do whatever the f-ck they want" (in ignorance), they will inevitable f-ck themselves up, but at least I can get sex from an emotionally damaged woman.*
"Men have a very bad way of not looking at women as human beings with emotions and feelings, and just because you’re attractive you’re put on some type of pedestal and your looked at as a level to be conquered or a game."......Guess you have to give up since you hate all men because all men like that. Meanwhile, there are plenty of women out there in meaningful relationships with men. You will never be a part of that
Only looking for someone because of their looks is not suitable long term. Trust me attraction is a flash and high that people get addicted to. Just be honest with yourself l. Do you want a relationship or just someone attractive to sleep with ? If you want to be happy then these are the simple steps
1. Don't look for happiness and fullfilment in only people. Learn to be happy by yourself so you're not emotionally hungry for it. You do this by spending time alone doing what you love
2. The person you date or even marry should be your best friend. Not just a pretty face. You keep having issues in your relationships because when the attraction dies, you're left with your personalities to work with.
3. Trust me on this. A relationship with humor and intelligence is much more powerful than one built on attraction and superficial trends.
4. Turn of the media and celebrity relationships because they brainwash you into thinking that their lifestyle is the best one.
4. Love is not complicated. People make it like that.
David Black ... David your response is a pure example of what I was trying to say. There in the friend zone for a reason they should not expect sex but yet they sit there and expect sex. Move on emotionally? They should have no other alternative emotions. And will sit there for years with alternative motives hoping that you will change your mind and THEN if you do, have no good intentions.
Up Late You said it so beautifully, I truly applaud your explanation. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Shutting up is the best thing I could have ever done.
Yoooo. My girl told me that like 10 years ago and I'm thinking she might have been right!!! 💛 ya #ConnieCollins
Sacrifices a few battles to win the war. Not shutting up is petty.
@Inebriatd Yeah u're definitely a female.
Ma'am it means u should stop focusing on winning and focus on being right.
@@crosses101 facts!!
You learned how to shut up lmao 🤣🤣.. I'll marry you 🤣🤣🤣
I heard a quote that I can’t stop thinking about
“If beauty did matter why is it the soul goes up and the body goes under?”
I think applies a lot here
The spirit goes up. Soul can also be translated to the mind that’s why.
That makes no sense whatsoever. There is no soul, and the body dies and withers. Do you imply that "heaven" is up? Ok, up is infinite directions, so someone dying in China "going to heaven" is not even the same "up" as someone in the U.S. going to heaven, so where is this heaven? If it's a physical place, point it out, since it's "up". If it's not a physical place, then it can't be up. Thus, the comment makes no sense.
@@LordPrometheous God help you.
SuperN0va it’s safe to use our common sense and say that up is away from the planet no matter where you are on it. Away from the planet past the 2nd heaven and into the third by way of death. It’s the only way to get to the 3rd heaven where The Most High God resides.
@@samrawitberihu4134 sorry, I can only deal with reality, but thank you.
Its not about how hot someone is, its about the energy someone has (and what feeling you get from that) & the connection. Being ‘hot’ is just a bonus.
Yep.
With me she better know how to cook anybody can be good in bed sometimes I would rather have a bomb ass meal than sex.
Johnie Davis Can you cook?
@@johniedavis8361 are you a kid or something, what adult doesn't know how to cook for themselves lol
R V anybody can turn on a stove or oven doesn’t mean they know how to season the food correctly or add the right things or even make the food taste good I never meet a white/red/pink person that can cook our people can cook.
This woman understands herself, one of the keys in getting in a healthy relationship!
Its so difficult i feel same
Yeah finally in her 30s she knew her biological clock is ticking so she had to choice but to adjust or she was going to be single and alone forever
@@Scotty.813 aka the typical lifespan of the typical amerikkkanized woman
@@Scotty.813 yep
She believes in open relationships then is now complaining lol
Too many people have no idea of what a healthy relationship is. Their parents did not model one and they have never experienced one.
I grew up with a narcissist so I am well versed in being quiet. Keeping your mouth closed allows you to see stuff. People react to silence in the most telling ways. Good way to weed out BS.
Profound. Very true
I was raised by narcissistic parents and I totally agree with you
Smart girl!
Growing up I looked at a lot of attractive people as acting arrogant or stuck up. But when I went through this phase where I was getting attention from men, it attracted a lot men with ill intentions and it caused me to put up a wall, and a lot of people saw that wall as arrogance. Maybe it was but there was a whole lot of annoyance, and hurt that I was trying to keep away from.
At the end of the day everyone should acknowledge their behaviour and hold themselves accountable so they can learn from it and move forward.
Shoulda went after that ugly, dorky dude lol
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
@@Netherwolf6100 physical attraction or lack there of doesn't make some one the ideal person to date. I've dated people who were "dorky" or "geeky" and they were not any better or worse than someone who wasn't. So it's not about that.
@@goldenxkenny It was a joke...
Same!!! Sometimes you have to be mean or perceived as arrogant to protect yourself.
when Beyonce was younger she once said she didn't date much because even if she gave her number to a guy, they never called thinking the number was fake or whatever. They never took beyonce seriously because they all thought she was way out of their league. I thought it was so sad, basically everyone struggles with dating and maybe more so if you are pretty and succesful.
I can relate to this!
That's a non-problem though.
Ask for a guys number and call him right there and then. Then both of you have each others numbers and know that neither is fake.
Hot women don't "struggle" with dating, they just have the wrong mindset. Put as much effort as guys must and you will find a good partner.
The people who actually struggle are young guys of new generations who have been raised in a way that makes them white knights and SIMPs, they don't get to date anyone in years at times unless someone wants to use them, be it for validation, money or status, and when they get to date they constantly get cheated on. These are the boys and men that go and commit suicide because they have no one to lean on in life, all they are being told is to "man up".
Believe me if a guy likes a girl he will go to her full speed.
This means they weren't that into her. That's all.
20 20 same for the girl, .....it should be 50 50
@Diana del rey I have 5 brothers, male cousins in Ny, Cali. We all above average looking men. Growing up even with homies, whenever a pretty girl gave up the number we called and all of my homies did the same. Never heard of a dude not calling bc the number MIGHT be fake?? So it's possible Bey could be lying for a nice sad bio to make her appeal normal to fans.
Once I realized I was the problem, everything changed. If you are struggling in relationships build a better relationship with yourself!
Developing Her ...Girl Why You UPSIDE Down...somebody once told me ...MY WORLD WAS TURNED UPSIDE ...Down ...after my Divorce ...call me 6106388226...GET YOU TURNED BACK...Up ...
💖
This is the actual way to fix the dating problem. It’s always with the self first. Your thoughts create your reality.. it even says it in the Bible.. “As a man thinks so he is.” Change your thoughts you Change your life..
@@ReginaMcNeish exactly!
The #1 reason dating is difficult for ppl who score high within standard beauty definitions... is so simple.
Stop trying to complicate it by saying your actions (lack thereof) are the issue. The need to blame in society is ridiculous.
The simple fact is that beautiful ppl attract ppl who are more psychologically visually focused. Not internal quality focused.
When someone doesnt have all the glitter to look at, touch or lust after, others tend to want to get to know them for who they are (inside)... not because of what they look like.
Yes. Everyone has preferences. But ppl who search and select based primarily on looks... are usually vapid. Which would be just fine with a vapid female.
But the "beautiful" ppl that have depth... have zero interest in their shallow counterparts. It's just that simple.
Don't ever change who you are in your core... to please another. Change from within because you want to become a better version of YOU. For YOU.
Yea but also a lot of very attractive people are very stunted in terms of the growth of their personality. They have never had to be funny or interesting to get peoples attention so they really don’t know how. When you get to talking to some of them you realize that there’s nothing there.
@@benja303 That's only if they started life beautiful. A lot of people start off as the proverbial "ugly duckling" and therefore develop a depth of mind, heart and personality. Then... they grow into their looks.
And become misunderstood by 99% of humans. 😎🖐😊👊🖤💚💜💖
I think the comment section is even better than the video itself lol. Thank you for this comment it opened my eyes completely.
@Mauricia Vasquez Love this. Yesssssss 😎😊👊✌
Exactly and I can’t tell you how many guys only want to get in my pants or called me stuck up or a tease or gay because I wanted to have something real and be treated like a human not a sex toy
This title is misleading... It SHOULD read Shan Boody explains why SHE struggles with dating.
Cinnoman lmaooooo
Also she ain't Beautiful 😁😁😁
she has a bf
Sabrina Becckford she has a husband actually. I think he meant why she struggled* with dating In the past? I’m not so sure
But shan is hot tho
This was interesting, but not about how a beautiful woman struggles. It was about her being stubborn in her ways.
Zainygreenstone exactly...pretty disappointing
yea... good convo but not on topic.
Facts
Yeah
What she exhibited was self reflection and sought after the traits that were holding her back. If you have many consecutive failures then maybe it isn't other things out of your control, but you are the problem.
She recognized that.
I remember in my senior year of HS, I wanted to ask this girl I like and knew fairly well to prom. I was a little nervous because she was one of the popular girls, taking AP courses, was on the student council and basically had her whole life planned out so and I assume she already had a date. To my surprise she said yes and told me I was the only guy that asked her out.
What happened after?
@@timilehyinhussain7963 they lived happily ever after
You still with her?
Nigga how it went
I love that she said the thing that made her go into her career stopped her from having success in romantic relationships
Same. That’s so important to realize
Underrated comment.
The traits that bring career success are rarely the traits that bring relationship success
Well the difference is that you shouldn't be a dick all the time. Leave being a dick for work or needing to get something done, be gentle at home and in your relationship. People would rather be alone in peace rather than someone trying to start a fight over a subway sandwich.
@@breakingthemasks yeah, I'd say just personal relationships in general.
@@WPFreeinternet the idea that being disagreeable is important to get ahead in a career is the bigger issue.
Kind hearted and genuineness is rare in today’s generation
Whenever a guy pays too much attention to my looks, I get nervous that he either won't pay attention to who I am or have a preconceived notion of who I am.
So I find guys with substance to match my substance that way I can nerd out and not be nervous.
Hahaha! I can tots relate. Still searching for that quality substance that is compatible with mine.
YESSS. I hate when people are only interested in your looks and can’t appreciate your personality
Perfect comment!
Exactly.i wouldnt say im pretty but i got ass and most guys just see that.makes me wish id have been born skinny and see if i get someone who loves me for me and not my body
Another thing to think about is that you’re just not compatible. If a guy likes your personality he will pay attention to it. What you described is when the only thing the guy likes about you is your looks, which is why some of those dudes are in a late night “bar mentality”, where they only focus on physical attraction in the hope of a one night stand or something of the sort
Nice people don't finish last, nice people get used. My advice is be selfish
That's what women are now doing and they are be coming bitcHes..some of them whOres and lilth vibes towards other women as well! Too much of anything swells up and pOps oVer time.
#femLEzlog1c
♀️♀️👀🏃🛣️🤮
Edit: I am obviously very hurt and trying to figure out this 'love gaMe.' I know the rest of us pretty much are too. Truth is, I cannot make her obey me besides where I end up killing her somehow. Honest. Women force me to look at myself, EVEN as a woman! ....Until I change, take action and free myself from my siNs, this life will always defeat me and every other relationship too, family included.
#pOnder1ngasUsUAL 💭
Only a healthy selfish
Gumma Muhumza Facts
No, being able to be selfish and stick up for yourself is a must. But for a lifelong relationship you should focus on the other and the partner should focus on you. Don't put yourself above your partner.
Shouldn't be selfish. My advice is be nice to others but have the backbone to say no for the sake of being nice to yourself as well.
The hardest thing for anyone to do is to self-reflect and see their own faults and in turn make changes. If you can do that success is inevitable. This is the main reason she was able to find a husband and stay married. I agree with everything that she says.
She’s spitting straight facts; I stopped responding to my wife’s argument bait since 2 months ago and it’s been smooth sailing, more sex, more cooked meals, more peace.
That is a quiet strength.
@JAY BLAZE A fool argues for arguments sake
Women constantly test your masculinity, never argue with her and never show emotion
@@handsomeprince215 You guys pick these women in the first place lol. And most of the time for their looks
More cooked meals? The cooking depends on the arguments?
The main problems are:
1. All humans are imperfect and people want the other to accept their flaws and short comings but cant do the same for the other. For example, a man who cheats wants forgiveness and another chance but if he is cheated on it is VERY rare for him to take back a unfaithful women. And on the other spectrum a woman who is aggressive and lashes out physically and verbally at their male partner wants the man to be a mature and not lash out back at her the same way and to forgive her. But if he does this, she wont tolerate it for long (a.k.a an Amber heard)
2. Men in general want to be respected and treated like a man and women want to be desired and loved. And thats fine when they both complete their roles...but now in society we have Men who want respect but dont earn or deserve it while the men who DO deserve it are not given their respect and in return they resent women. And the same goes for the women. The good women often go underappreciated and in return they wont trust men anymore and resent them. while the ones who are catty and evil get treated better.
3. The point here is both parties have to fullfill their roles...if you cant offer loyalty, love, respect and a genuine friendship to the opposite sex, you shouldnt be looking! If you cant offer what the other needs dont be selfish and entitled and demand the opposite sex to fullfill all your needs when you in return are not giving them theirs or not able too
One of the most balanced comments
This was an amazing comment
You hit the nail on the head with this one. Especially that first one. Literally just had a situation with my good friend because she didn't like my driving, of all things, lol. Super silly. That whole wanting to have control over the situation instead of sitting back, shutting up, and just riding. It's a small example but very telling of how we are as people. We can't just let the other person drive and let go of the controls. And we always point out others flaws so quickly not realizing that when we do there are always 3 fingers pointing right back at you.
Sounds good in theory but missing the human nature aspect.
Best comment in the entire thread.
A Virtuous Woman is the most Beautiful Woman! Proverbs 31. They are rare and hard to find in this time and age.
👌🏽
Salute
Amen! The brainwashing is rife in modern culture wanting women to believe there's something wrong with them if they don't "put out". Any woman who can resist that truly deserves the label of virtuous.
I’ve seen guys/people be very judgmental on site when it comes to beautiful women. A mixture of being intimidated, afraid, assuming she’s already taken...In exchange I see many beautiful women who are unhappily single and lacking self esteem. Tag on feeling inadequate, knowing that people judge and mistreat them based on their looks and the assumptions they suffer under based on folks wrong judgement.
Just read some of the comments in here.. It's terrible
Yes!!!
@empty shogun you can be shut down by anybody not only beautiful people !
Yes exactly
empty shogun a lot of men act like it’s a given that if they pay attention to you at all you will sleep with them etc women can be turned off by a guys personality too or just realize their values don’t match etc just because she wants to get to know the guy doesn’t mean she wants something else either or that she is a tease
Yes, know when to shut up and listen is so helpful. So many times when we argue in relationships its about winning and being right. A relationship is a partnership so there are no winners in an argument when your opponent is suppose to be your teammate. We also tend to love others how we want to be loved when we should learn how they want to be loved and vice versa. Love this.
💜💜💜
Exactly if you are a team you are not winning by winning an argument or proving the other wrong. Each team member should work to the betterment of the team.
Well said
👏👏👏👏👏
In scriptures it’s said that not everyone is promised marriage. So just live your life happily, single and satisfied. A man is a bonus. Don’t be a cinderella. Be you.
Lol
Smh
Which Scriptures if I may ask?
Exactly be a side chick Amen
For me being a pretty woman is not enough. If that pretty face doesn't come with a pretty character its not worth it. At the end of the day, its a long ride that everyone wants to be memorable.
I feel the same way
BubonicTonic they do say you are a reflection of what you attract!
@BubonicTonic BLOOP!!!!!
@BubonicTonic fit boys attract fit girls
BubonicTonic Yep that is so true
Looks is a depreciating asset-love this. Women need to learn to work on their inner beauty and not depend on their outer beauty. It can be a fatal flaw: being beautiful can not only make you feel deserving of attention from men, colleagues, life-and that's not true-its just an additional asset-that does depreciate but can also be useful in helping you discern when a man is only interested in your looks or when a man truly sees you for who you are. And yes the common denominator is you but that doesn't mean you're a bad person it could mean however you need to change your approach and channel the way you receive and interact with the opposite sex. Definitely observing more, learning more, being more humble-helps to achieve this. Thanks for sharing!
Only looking for someone because of their looks is not suitable long term. Trust me attraction is a flash and high that people get addicted to. Just be honest with yourself l. Do you want a relationship or just someone attractive to sleep with ? If you want to be happy then these are the simple steps
1. Don't look for happiness and fullfilment in only people. Learn to be happy by yourself so you're not emotionally hungry for it. You do this by spending time alone doing what you love
2. The person you date or even marry should be your best friend. Not just a pretty face. You keep having issues in your relationships because when the attraction dies, you're left with your personalities to work with.
3. Trust me on this. A relationship with humor and intelligence is much more powerful than one built on attraction and superficial trends.
4. Turn of the media and celebrity relationships because they brainwash you into thinking that their lifestyle is the best one.
4. Love is not complicated. People make it like that.
@Brad Smith 🤣🤣
The biggest investment is morals
Not true at all, Looks don't depreciate if you don't consume a western and/or non-vegan diet. Physical aging is generally associated with eating meat,dairy, fried/processed/microwaved foods. Things that aren't meant for your body to consume. Google an extremely beautiful woman in her 70's named "Karyn Calabrese". A raw vegan. You're welcome ;)
shy boy So what your saying is that once your partner turns 70, then you’re going to leave them?
She said two things that stick out to me, "Agreeableness determines relationship longevity, success, someone's ability.... Nice people stay in the race the longest." I like her honesty about how she mentions having to step back and just listen in terms of her relationship with her husband and I'm sure that branch is out to other people as well. She also mentioned how if she's in this long-term commitment, marriage with her husband, then she should be able to trust him enough to hear his point and go with it even when she thinks there's a better alternative for has more to say. That shows maturity and growth, considering what she's come from. This is awesome.
She's right, the trait men look for after physical attraction is cooperation.
Oh lawD Jeezus yeah...in my day i always find that when i get a hot woman to date....i always run compliance tests (SIMPLE ONES TOO..LIKE lets go to thsi restaurant....or lets see this movie....if she obliges am gonna drop the biggest loving she has ever seen but....) to see if she will be my team mate..best friend..have my back...look out for me..cover my blind spots...as i do hers..etc etc etc...MANY MANY MANY times....these women put up a HUUUGE RESISTANCE....it takes a long time to essentially get her on your team....its the hardest thing to do....i have met very few women that were already team players ready to get on with the relationship...THOSE ones are very rare.....
@boganus699 ya...if they live in a 3rd world nation they would cooperate...🤣🤣🤣..spoiled brats up in here. Lol
Cooperation is my middle name.
Yep ..I purposefully play compliance games with any woman I date to see how much of a team player she is...if I notice that she will not be like minded I ditch her fast...highly agreeable women are the best...dont mean a doormat...but you know what I mean..she is reasonable kinded... she will never be single
Only looking for someone because of their looks is not suitable long term. Trust me attraction is a flash and high that people get addicted to. Just be honest with yourself l. Do you want a relationship or just someone attractive to sleep with ? If you want to be happy then these are the simple steps
1. Don't look for happiness and fullfilment in only people. Learn to be happy by yourself so you're not emotionally hungry for it. You do this by spending time alone doing what you love
2. The person you date or even marry should be your best friend. Not just a pretty face. You keep having issues in your relationships because when the attraction dies, you're left with your personalities to work with.
3. Trust me on this. A relationship with humor and intelligence is much more powerful than one built on attraction and superficial trends.
4. Turn of the media and celebrity relationships because they brainwash you into thinking that their lifestyle is the best one.
4. Love is not complicated. People make it like that.
@Green Mills It takes investment. At one point before we got together I actually disliked my current partner a lot. I thought she was quite arrogant and argumentative on getting to know her my perception changed a lot, but also the owing fact she made a super human effort to change a lot of things before we got together. We are very close friends now so it is possible.
Best comment I’ve read in this section. 🙌🏽
Beautiful comment. Thank you.
Yea relationships in this social climate are beyond toxic and empty. They put these things in front of you to make you want to desire them and giving you little to no chance to reach them. You have to just learn to be happy by yourself first. I do it through God.
#1 is everything 👏👏👏 Sadly, a lot of people lack the emotional intelligence to understand that making sure they're happy is their own responsibility! And it always start with being happy/content by yourself. 💁🏾♀️✨
Being hot is soooo overrated people don’t try beyond it.
lly S...''cause back in her mind she KNOWS The fellas just Wanna HIT..it & QUIT..it...i..e..janet jackson,,,Tisha Campbell,,,Lisa Raye mcCoy...Vivica Foxx...,,,,Halle Barre Former Miss AMERICA Vanessa Wms. and we now Have ex-wives GOING AFTEr NFL...players ,,,NBA...players ...i,,e,,,NICOLE MURPHY ..,,Sahnaa Lathan,,,Bitch from the APPRENTICE ...AMBEROSA...Dated ...that WWF/WWE/ WRESTLER...& phoenix Marie ...now a ...porn STAR...W-o-w....Bitches...will Be...Bitches...
right? after all this hotness then everyone dies..lol
@humaneshadowx71 ...janet had some WORK DONe HERE LATELY ...right...+ she was OBESE...AND YOU SAY ...50...cent once Dated her + plus ...Vivica A. Foxx... SO WHO ...50...with ...nowAdays...2020...!?...
@humaneshadowx71 ...AND i still believe ...jurnee-smollett....LOT ...BETTER LOOKING THAN HER....and people called her the ...UGLY DUCKLING... ...
I consider myself a beautiful intelligent woman, and most men I dated in the past , were intimidated by my accomplishments, they said that I highly thought so much of myself, or when I caught them in a lie, then i became too much. it wasnt until I met a man who wasnt intimated by me. He is his own individual and doesnt need me to feed his ego 247. We actually get along very well and he let's me be myself.
There's somebody for everybody.
Harsh reality here, but it has much less to do with intimidation and more to do with the “politically incorrect” nature that makes up our biological hardwiring.
Women who are insubordinate, in powerful positions, or are the breadwinners of the household, go against the very nature of a man. On a primal level, it is in a man’s nature to want to conquer and dominate...Open up a history book if you think this is BS. Women who directly or indirectly communicate submissiveness to a man will always be more attractive because women who fit this bill leave enough room for a man to...be the man. As in; be the head, be the leader, be the dominating force.
Women who are headstrong, ferociously independent, in a position more powerful than the man, etc. will directly or indirectly communicate to him that he will not be the dominating force or power owner in the relationship because said woman is already occupying that slot, which, naturally, is an unattractive position for a masculine man to be in. Typically, the only men who aren’t “intimidated” by this are men that are; A). less masculine and more so in touch with their feminine side, as they don’t mind being the submissive force in the relationship. Or, B). Men who don’t really understand their nature and think that they can make it work, only to find out in the long run that it just doesn’t work for them. They will blame it on numerous other things, but, at its core, that will be a big reason why they are dissatisfied in the relationship. Because they didn’t “feel like a man.”
It’s great that our modern society allows women to excel, get ahead in positions, and also have a stake in dominating roles, but - be warned - women in these positions will almost always have a harder time in the dating market. Without fail. Call it ego, call it intimidation, call it whatever you want. Feminists will try to call it “patriarchy”, but the only thing any person should really be calling it is - unfair. Because that’s what it is. Nature...which, despite our current politically correct atmosphere, is in fact - very unfair.
@Porfirio Rubirosa That's not being intimidated that's having standards. And the common sense to not waste your time on a woman who doesnt respect you.
@@ACM9407 Some important facts...reality here. As women we are sold by Western culture we can have it all.....That is impossible and goes against our fundamental nature as carers and meant to be the softer sex...Sacrifices will be made as a result of the notion of feminism...Usually the sacrifice is being a present mother(actually raising our children) and a nurturing wife...homemaker...as we become too masculine and see those vital roles as something to avoid. Never the less I'm not saying women can't have pursuits interests...but for me family should..must come first, at the sacrifice of climbing the work ladder ...me developing my career .
@Boss ` they do. thats why their egos get hurt when a woman makes more money than them. fact
FINALLY a woman admitting SHE was her MAIN obstacle to a happy and healthy relationship.
Lol
Very rare
Incredibly rare
Most beautiful women are high maintenance what happened to falling in love with a dam good man who makes 10 dollars an hour
That is the second woman I've seen take accountability this year. What the hell is going on??
Im sorry nice people get the shit end of the stick too. I have the same dating issues as any other girl. In fact girls who aren't nice seem to get farther than me in relationships. I think the hookup culture we are in is what makes trying to date seriously a difficult task.
I agree. My twin is actually pretty mean and combative with the guys she dates but her relationships are typically more successful
And the “shut up” filter gets you only so far. You’ll get taken advantage of and feel regret that you didn’t speak up when you had the chance at first...
@@yellowbubblequeen Very true!
@@jnp444 Isn't it frustrating?! 😭
@@suras8984 yep😒😔
The common denominator is me. If it ain’t working then learn from people that are succeeding.
Good point.
@white america's worst nightmare In a novel...
nightmare those relationships exist. They're just average people you don't know.
I was recently on a date and got ghosted . I’ve been considered beautiful to most . The guy I went on a date with had no conversation. The chemistry wasn’t there at all (he was a very attractive guy “ . I was just eating my food and out of nowhere he says “you look difficult “ I was like HUH??!! How do I look difficult? He couldn’t answer.he talked about another date but the next day I text him how was his day and I was blocked . Not to mention he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and watch movies (I told him negative 👎🏾) he said he hated when girls think it’s going to be a Netflix and chill . Then what is it then ?
I feel you so much on this. Some guys just hate when women set boundaries which hurts their ego for some reason. 🤦🏻♀️
The guy sounds like a jerk. He's a big L👎🏾
When he said that you looked difficult, that simply meant that you looked hard to get or difficult to get in bed. He was mad because you wasn't easy like all of those other womenhe slept with. That explains his lack of conversation on the date. He was probably use to women throwing themselves on him and it didn't work with you. 😆
DeliciousBeautii1 period
DeliciousBeautii1 yep. Blocked her cuz she looked to have standards. I wouldnt even be offended. And u see he told a blatant lie "most girls want to netflix and chill" no u wanted that sir. Thats why u blocked her after she declined. Wasnt worth the effort anymore
Man I knew this girl who was perfect at speaking up & shutting up at the perfect times ...I loved her, didn’t work out but I still loved her
Before you listen to this; I wanted to tell you, that you are beautiful and exceptional. Also your a phenomenal human being; I love you and I hope positive experiences will start happening in your life, if they haven't already. Keep moving forward my friend; start adopting positive and beneficial habits & behaviors. Eat healthy and treat yourself with kindness, in addition to others also. Fair well my friend; God Bless you 💖
Thanks really needed this!!!!
☝🏽
😊
God bless you! Hope you are well 😊
Women already have ideas in their head of what kind if relationship they want. They just dont have a face of the man to go with it. When they find a man, they insert him into their already preconceived ideas of what their relationship should be like. Then get mad at the guy when things dont pan out. Men dont give af abt relationship's until we meet that woman that shows she's relationship material.
Oh... MYYY GOOOOD!
That first one got me all mind blown! Dammmn... Was that, like your theory or what? Cuz it makes a looot of sense
Bruh! This comment is underated
@Wonder Woman personality, or having a physical attraction that are pleasing to the eye, are both "materials" that make up an individual. Depending on a guy's taste in women, when a guy meets a woman, the materials that make up that woman will determine if he wants to pursue a relationship with her.
I was engaged to a woman that had this exact problem. No matter what I did, she kept starting fights based on these preconceived notions she had of a) what I should be like and b) how all men 'are'. My actual personality and actions did not change any of those 2 things no matter how long or hard I tried.
@Wonder Woman N E ⬆️↗️➡️↘️⬇️↙️⬅️↖️↕️↔️↩️↪️⤴️⤵️🔃🔄
Men do the same
Beautiful women have the lowest self esteem, this is because the average looking men are not confident in themselves to either approach or talk to these women on a dating level. This then limits them down to the so called bad boys and players who are not looking for a relationship and will mess these girls around leading the girl to question herself and doubt if she is good enough for the man. That’s where it all stems from in my opinion.
I agree
False. Go to Instagram and look how many influencers have absolutely normal (still cute) looking boyfriends
K. A he is right at a current degree g
I can partially agree, but remember that the average looking guy's lack of action is only half of it. If he approaches, he's likely to be nervous and screw up the hello whereas the cocky bad boy would not.
The woman being approached would judge the average guy against the confident men she's used to interacting with and reject Average Joe way more often than not, especially during this Instagram and OnlyFans era where females can get a 10,000+ follower base.
We're not in the cute old days before social media where the hot girl might take a chance on the awkward guy. Why would she when she's a celebrity on social media, making sexy TikTok videos and posting narcissistic selfies of herself?
Jacob smith beauty is not in the eye of the beholder
I really struggled with dating, as a physically beautiful woman, until I removed myself from the center and placed the Lord in that space. Game changer!
Could you tell me more about how this worked out for you? I've been trying to do the same for a while but its so hard to come across Godly dating advice these days.
Looks is a depreciating asset! That’s so true.
Never thought of it that way before but she's right
Absolutely right 😊
I’m considered “beautiful “ but I was too nice and naive and getting taking advantage of, these traits has failed me in the dating world. Now I feel like men aren’t honest and yes I’ve dated different types of guys and they all were not honest or lasting. What I learned is that I have to work on myself because I didn’t realize my beauty and my self worth. If I valued myself I wouldn’t put up with trash men. Now I finally found happiness and being alone but I’m afraid to trust another man. I’m so happy and don’t want anyone to destroy my energy. I also like to add, I’m a lover not a fighter so I value conversation and other perspectives instead of confrontation. Not all “beautiful women” are assholes but if they are I can see how they become that, for some..
So let a man make the effort and if he doesn’t, don’t let the door hit him on the way out 😘 for a truly beautiful woman with a beautiful heart a man will do just about anything
I feel the same men just wanna use u and they mostly end up settling with random women who don’t have much to offer so dating isn’t worth it to me anymore
@@madelineasmr926 NOPE! She needs therapy to reveal why she she keeps choosing the same type of men. The men are not the issue-her judgement is
Basically your damaged
I like that she talks about being a disagreeable woman. It’s favorable in competitive work environments for sure, and in fact being assertive to some extent works too if you’re in a male dominated field of work. However, in relationships it doesn’t work that well. I am disagreeable and polite, so I may not say much or say it very bluntly but I do show my disturbance on my face non-deliberately, and I do cut people off in speech and in my circle of influence. So I’ve gathered to learn how to be more empathetic, I have a strong bullshit meter but I gotta keep that running in the back burner and keep it quiet so folks feel welcomed by my presence and listening ear.
Thanks for sharing.
Telling a woman about combative/competitive ways = your not strong enough for me
I'm very disagreeable but very polite too and I need to be QUIET but it's so difficult, I would literally scream at someone be angry very quickly I'm pretty but my personnality is just not that good
@@christinemaure4216 I'm the opposite. I've been a door mat for so long, it's hard to be anything else. Just a pretty door mat.
@@christinemaure4216 Yikes. You sound like you act like an entitled toddler
It's all about good communication, honesty and laughter...and just be yourself...dont try to be someone your not.
Exactly
True very true
I love how authentic and open she is about her shortcomings. This is a very rare female indeed.
Yes, I realized that I don’t always have to give my opinion nor do I always have to be right! When I am passionate about something we are discussing or working thru, I have to state my thoughts and the reasons why. Then, I allow for a pause so that both can think about what each said. We come back to it later as necessary.
When you can love and accept yourself for exactly who you are, and BE exactly who you are, not what people expect you to be. THEN you are gonna find the right one, but more accurately you will accept them and their faults because you accept yourself. You won't self sabotage because you'll believe you deserve good in your life.
Soooo true
Preach it. The most important relationship is with yourself. Honestly, so many people are victim to their own self-sabotage. Even being confident and self-assured, I have to remind myself that I deserve to be loved wholly and even when I'm not at my best.
Underrated comment! So true!
“Nice people stay in the race the longest” it’s a true statement. I’m still searching for a good girl but most good girls seem to like the bad guys and the bad girls like the good guys.
I respect your opinion to the subject matter. I’ll take it into consideration. Choosing a good companion is one the most important decisions a person can make... if not the single most important decision, so any advice is helpful.
YouMadBruh ? I might have to take a trip to the moon.
Girls like the bad guy because he is actually nice. Because he's kind and nice and chats and gives her time to be herself. Haven't you noticed that most players are sweet talkers?? Or they really are kind with their gestures. While other guys are too slow or too pushy. When a guy is talking to a girl and directly compliments her or is too pushy it shows that he can fall in love with any other girl. So she feels like she's just like any other typical girl and isn't special at all and thinks he has many other girls on his phone(which is actually 100% the case) . So those guys are the bad guys...
The bad guy you're talking about always approach the girl as a friend. This will give the girl time to feel good and have a great convo. When he starts noticing she's into him he makes a move. Which will turn into flirtation and then the relationship.
But what's bad about they guy is that he's a cheater * so they end up getting heart broken and forget that he was actually a very nice gentleman friend in the very beginning so they decide to never fall in love with a bad guy but with the nice guy. And then again the nice guy turns to be the cheater and so on and so on.
Most of the girls and men don't see that the bad guy is a nice guy but gets bored fast later or isn't that into the girl or loves her nurturing energy and her innocent image. Which is for him not too complicated to handle. Which the girl doesn't see that cause she's already in love with him. Or else a girl would never step into a relationship with that guy you say is a bad guy.
Biggest example is Justin Bieber.
He talks very kind and sweet and then treats girls like shit. So the gir is confused + a guy never treated her that sweet and nice so she will never forget that no matter how bad(player) a guy is she will always go back to him. The girl that gave him his all he treated her bad Selena and Hailey too he cheated on her. But difference between Hailey and Selena is that Hailey forgives and is nurturing which is what he wants in a woman. While Selena is the one who wants nurturing and doesn't forget. That's why a bad guy (Justin) ends up with the good girl (Hailey) if he ever gets bored he might cheat with the thought she will forgive me for sure (confidence) and if she doesn't I'm loved by many girls I'll go to the next one. Also Justin is in love with how Haileys lifestyle. She works out she eats healthy she works hard she does many things so she's a type of a competition which guys love. The hardworking independent who works for herself for herself and not for others. While Selena is clingy and would rather eat so much food and stay home than workout which gives the impression to a guy that she's only doing things for others rather than for herself. So self love is what men love about women. The self love part is what every guy loves. Both the bad guy and the good guy. But for the bad guy as I said the nurturing part is their weakness so they tend to always like the nice girls.For guys it's different. Guys like hard to get so they like the bad girl. Guys fall in love with women who are let's say busy. She worksouts she works she studies she has her own thing going on and doesn't care if they guy isn't into her she'll move to the other and men smell that. This to a guy is very attractive. Men find girls that rely on them as nice* or girls that give already as a wife material that is ready to forgive him for all his mistakes. This is boring to a guy. That's why people say the Golden rule to a healthy great relationship is that the guy loves the girl more than the girl loves him. Ofcourse there are exactions but very very rare ones.
The attitude the how she lives her life is more attractive to the man. So when she makes time for him he feels amazing cause she's the busy bee who made her time just to him so he's special. Once she doesn't he get hurt and if she gives too much time he starts losing interest. While for the girl it is how she feels and how safe she is with a guy and how féminine she feels. Women love to feel very féminine infront of the guy they're into. That's why they get very jealous if they know the guy they like is looking at other girls cause she starts losing that confidence feminine feeling. That's why women fall in love with a rich guy cause he provides her a stable healthy safe invorenment. Men think it's the money but it actually isn't. (ofcourse it can but that's just a few)
Ofcourse we can't deny that men fall in love for the pyshical more than women do. Hot girls are to fuck and pretty girls are to marry. This is how most guys think. Which is very bad :/ hope men start changing this perspective but.. I guéss they never will.
This is how men and women fall in love and get hurt. That's the difference. That's why they don't understand each other and say "I don't understand guys" "I don't understand girls"
@@davius_cicero9207 it’s the most important decision that gets seriously neglected if divorce rates and single parenthood being any indication.
@@2020-p6y huh... yeah, it’s a date and at that point you are “just a typical girl” - the point of dates is to get to know each other so you’re not “just another girl”. You met up solely on the grounds of physical attraction, what do you expect? It’s a combined effort of both parties to get to know each other. What is not too slow and not too pushy? The line is clearly so thin that most guys don’t fit into it, just “the players”.
Some women will never admit this.
Same with men.
@g7dmother •}:{• we already had this headline “Men don’t want to date woke women - an it’s a problem” - women most affected, as per usual 🤦♂️
Everyone keeps mentioning that black women should be more agreeable .... Black women should never agree to their demise!!! This is something that is not addressed properly.... Women are GROOMED to move upward no matter what their current position is .... Not to the left not to the right and certainly not DOWN!! Black men refuse to reevaluate their position in relation to their community and the world ... And want in particular BLACK women to accomodate and AGREE to a lower standard of living
And we're not .... I'm sorry I don't believe in silencing what you feel is wrong ...
Dont be agreeable or submissive but dont blame that on anyone else but the woman in the mirror. Feminine and submissive doesn't mean that woman is idle in every aspect of life.
Yes I agree I think we definitely settle the most we need to have higher standards when it comes to dating
The self hate began with feminism (government gave money for fatherless homes), wearing weave, argumentative, most obese, murdering babies within the womb and the obvious bleaching of skin. But there's so much more. Being hired as attack dogs in the work place to push black men out. Yes, self hate has been an issue but you cannot create a society with combative women. You've had 53 years of " I'm a strong and independent woman , I don't need a man!" Don't cry now. It was your choice.
Agreed, responsibility always falls to us and its killing us.
@Mike in NZ Why would a high value black man date/marry a black women that thinks like this? what man of any race, in their right mind, form a relationship with women who constantly demonizes men, is incredibly delusional about their station in life and constantly drones on about how "I don't need no man"? And that's not even getting into the fact that black women have the highest obesity and abortion rates.
Like how does it make sense to take on the ideology (feminism), that was started by a old, rich white women because she was upset that a black man could vote before her? Also why the fuck do black women go on and on about "shouldering the responsibility of the community" then complain about how the men they raised being ain't shit nigga's? Explain to me how does any of this make sense? Why do people expect black men to worship the people that hurt them the most?
Except if you reject someone a lot of the time you are called stuck up when maybe it’s for a legitimate reason. Or called gay cause you don’t want to date till you find someone that treats you like a person.
It’s the same with men. It’s a blow to someone who is insanely ego centric when it brings them down to earth. They act aggressively and impulsively. Just know it’s their behavior that’s the problem not yours
When you realize your toxic traits and remove them, is when you truly level up as a person. This woman did that and I gotta say I'm impressed with her.
It’s not shutting up.
It’s letting go of control. 💯
Wow, this comment deserves more likes.
“Hot girls on Instagram complain about dating” - considering it takes a certain degree of narcissism to run a goddamn Instagram account of oneself I wonder why would that be the case. Oh wait...
Not good to use the expression after " to run a".
👏🏾👏🏾being quiet is an art form. Having the last word is not necessary it’s ok to loose if you both win in the end.
"Looks are a depreciating factor "...i love that
She's very intuitive. I like that she understands herself which is the most important thing
Pretty girls don’t always have dates..too bad that most don’t realize that. Many nights I spent alone..which is fine..I enjoy my alone time. 😊
That's like saying American's don't always have food. Yes, they do. Not choosing to eat the food you have is hardly the same as not having any food available.
@@2livenoob dont even bother mate. They wont understand it.
I'll add to this chain. Being alone for a woman is a choice because she can choose between spending the night alone or dating online, on social media, or through people she meets.
For men, we don't even get those options. If we go to sleep alone, it's because that's all we could do. There's no back-up options where we have women on speed dial unless we're attractive players.
Seriously, I'm really tired of explaining that men and women have different dating lives. What's it going to take for women to understand the men's perspective?
@@pointblanks When you start realising that you also cannot understand a woman's perspective, since you're not one, then maybe you'll have the understanding you want on your side.
That comes as a friendly input - peace.
@@magic13christispage That's a lazy statement. I can twist your words back to you since you possibly can't understand a man's perspective. Since you can't possibly understand me, a man, I don't think you can tell me that my understanding is wrong since you're a female.
Unless you have examples to counter me with, making a general statement like that helps no one. Saying that my perspective is incorrect because I'm not a woman means women can't understand men either so why don't we all live in gender-segregated villages then? That would solve the gender war and dating problems 🙄
So just because I'm a man, there's no possible way I can understand the female perspective? I gain perspectives by talking to both male and female friends and by reading the trends. Sure, I won't be able to get the full picture of life as a woman since I'm not but saying I never can or should is stupid.
It's hard for women to believe, but you really do have a lot of options to choose from, especially on the dating apps, but if you don't think any of the men are good enough, you don't consider them an option and say "there's no men out there to date".
Men, on the other hand, don't get any options unless they're chosen by the woman and she agrees to meet up. I mean literally not even the option of dating a woman on his level because he won't get any matches if he's average. Only way for him to get chosen is by meeting all her criteria like career, height, and looks or she will swipe left. Big difference.
The average woman can get 100+ matches since many men will say yes to a date as long as she looks decent. The average man though doesn't get anywhere close to that number. He's lucky if he gets 2 after swiping 100+ profiles. Why? Women have become picky and if they're getting so many matches, they can afford to only choose the absolute best men out of the 100.
I've talked to my female friends and I'm well aware how overwhelmed they get from having hundreds of matches on dating apps. It's the paradox of choice. However, it also led to them and many women becoming very picky and a lot of the times, arrogant and narcissistic. If they agree to a date with some man, he's most likely the a man that many women have swiped right to and he himself has many matches (interestingly, nowhere close to an average woman's number of matches). He can afford to be an asshole and play woman after woman. There's not many of these desired men out there, but since women want to date these guys over and over again, they eventually get frustrated on why those men don't commit to them and say things like "all men are assholes". Remember that the majority of men can't even get a date since women are chasing the small percentage of these fuck boys.
You should try talking to some men and learn their perspectives rather than not bothering with it with an excuse of not being a man. Trying goes a long way. I try to understand where my female friends are coming from and this is what I know.
If a lot of women Iike yourself don't bother learning the average guy's perspective, the current dating problem will stick around until most men say fuck it and don't try anymore. Many women think guys can get sex on demand and get overwhelmed with tons of matches like they do. FYI, the far majority of men don't. The average woman is the one with a serious advantage because she at least gets options of good & lackluster men while the average man doesn't even have a list of women to choose from. Hope this helps.
I know why beautiful woman struggle with dating. Its because most guys are too scared to approach them!
lol it's not. It's because they have too many options and go for the "best man possible" who tends to be an asshole.
Trust me, men like myself have approached beautiful women and we would strike out over and over. Women are the ones who choose if they accept the guy's date or not. It's not because a beautiful woman gets 0 approaches. If she does, all she has to do is fire up one of the countless dating apps on her phone and get dating practice in! Way different experience compared to a man's.
@@pointblanks Just joking..
Johny ...THAT IS A TRUE STATEMENT...''cause that is what ...T.D.-jakes TOLD BEAUTIFUL Lisa Raye McCOY in That interview ...damn...shame AND ALL YOUR BEAUTY MAY ONE DAY BE YOUR DOWNFALL...The Bitch ain't Been right since ...Damn...Shame...
Beautiful women get approached, constantly. How in the hell did you come to that conclusion?
Bullshit
I have had to ask men out my entire life, but the best relationships that I've had have been when they ask me out.
Really? I'm glad you noticed that too.. I thought I was the only one complaining. You sounds like country songs fans. Here is my email address andercole123@gmail.com.. you can text me on it that way we can talk
3:10
Actually, this isn't quite true. People that score high in agreeability don't necessarily have longer -- or, at the very least, healthier -- relationships. The reason is that people who score high on agreeability tend to not voice their concerns or ever say that something bothers them or that they don't like something. Instead, they keep their frustrations locked up inside until, one day, they can't take it anymore and they blow up. There's a reason that men tend to experience this a lot in relationships with women because women tend to score much higher in agreeableness than men, which is why a lot of women won't voice concerns until, one day, they blow up on him and end the relationship and the guy is left feeling like it came out of left-field. You want a balance between agreeable and disagreeable so that you're not constantly starting arguments over every single little thing, but that you're also not just bottling things up that bother you and that will eventually cause you to blow up because you'll just end up miserable.
I agree
Women are massively conditioned to be "nice" and agreeable from birth to the cost of their own happiness, so no surprise that women score higher on agreeableness.
@@indrinita Women aren't "conditioned" to be nice any more than men are. Right from childhood, boys are taught to be nice to each other and to behave just like they teach girls because being nice to each other isn't a gendered thing but is a normal thing. That said, it's up to the individual, themselves, to choose whether to be nice or not. Women aren't 'victims" of their own choice to be nice to other people. Women don't have to be nice any more than men do. If you don't want to be "nice", then don't be; just be prepared to deal with the social consequences that men also do for not always being "nice." Also, "agreeableness" has a genetic component to it, as well, so it's not merely nurture. Kids, both male and female, are taught to be agreeable; it's just that young boys are more likely to choose not to statistically speaking, and young girls are more likely to just listen to what they're told -- i.e. being agreeable.
However, just because someone is agreeable isn't necessarily a bad thing. Being highly disagreeable isn't any better than being highly agreeable and being highly disagreeable can be just as damaging in relationships.
I completely agree. I know women who are overly agreeable and they are being cheated on left and right. A woman should feel comfortable enough to be able to express herself bc that’s how women operate and that should not be shut down to appease a man. The right man knows that his woman needs to express herself and he will listen to his woman. Any man that has issue with a woman expressing herself is not a man, but a boy. I believe she meant that there should be respect. In expressing herself Shan was probably disrespectful to men bc she had a idgaf attitude. Women should, however, respect their partners and vice versa, of course.
This was realistic and relatable
just came here to hear her name pronounced lol
Facts
Hopefully you stay...subscribe to her TH-cam channel...she makes wonderful content ☺️❤️
Same
When beauty & kindness go hand in hand. Rare.
The endless options is true bc women have twice as many options bc so much of our “worth” is based on looks. A good looking guy will have options too but, if he can’t provide he will be thrown to the wayside. The key is to not let the compliments go to your head bc , entitlement is not an aphrodisiac to men.
Yep. Entitlement is an instant turn-off.
some women even shoot down compliments from men they dont find attractive...this world is going to hell in a hand basket...
@@CashCowz962 --Yeah. The Bible knows what it's talking about when it describes the end times. 2 Timothy 3
2For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be *boastful and proud* , scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and *ungrateful*. They will consider nothing sacred.
3They will be *unloving* and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. *They will be cruel* and hate what is good.
She’s wise. Humbleness is key in CERTAIN areas
I’ve been too agreeable all my life....never got me nowhere. We have a distorted concept of what a relationship is. The societal suggestion is unnatural.
I think it depends on where you're too agreeable. If it's at work or in a professional environment that may not be the best approach but of it's in a relationship that you want to go some where it's important to have that trait on both sides.
Ejiro Ubas even there you turn into a beta male...and women don’t like beta males.
@@youngkey3051 Yeah that's true but trust me a long term relationship with a strong so called "alpha" that lives on his own terms doesn't work. It just doesn't. Why do you think the divorce rate is now 50%? Women are attracted to and shack up with, make babies and marry these alphas because that personality is designed to attract them however once the baby is made the relationship is entered or the marriage contract is signed those same qualities that seemed so great and sexy are the same qualities that make a stable relationship difficult. That's the truth. I think being an alpha only works if there's balance.
Alexa valberg of course you would say that. Low self esteem is just the byproduct of the whole issue.
Alexa valberg I’m guessing you’ve never heard of alpha women because that seems to be the wave now. Ironically this is an issue predominantly on the Western Hemisphere. We ain’t delusional....
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder anyhow
Technically yes but they're clearly people who are far more attractive than the average person
@@LordWinter true but putting yourself or beautiful ppl on a pedestal just because of perceived beauty is really superficial. It's a vanity but a powerful one. Beautiful women can manipulate shallow men very easily. Sometimes better off with an average looker
@@CeeceeH1819 I agree. As humans we're programed to seek out mates who meet our physical ideal but that shouldnt be the sole factor.
True.
@shy boy I see a man as a human being 1st. You are describing shallow ppl
She's an enneagram type 1 who knows how to deal with the pitfall of her type in relationship, being hyper critical and wanting everyone to do things your way.
I'm learning recently that depending on your personality type you tend toward different behaviors that undermine your happiness. Good for her for figuring out her Achilles heel and then working to change her behavior around it. May we all be so blessed.
Very true Conscious.
I am a "beautiful woman", I look like a model but I struggle to find meaningful relationships. I have more to offer than my looks. I love intelligence but it's hard finding a guy who wants to have a deep, meaning conversation with you. I'm an introvert and spend most of my time on my own and with my family. It sucks.
It has nothing to do with your looks everything to do with who you really are in your heart
That's some bs
Keep it real G, people have to be physically/sexually attractive. It’s balance. Being attractive and have principals.
@@levibondjr4650 wow u really misunderstood
I agree being agreeable is key. I'm also disagreeable and I have the hardest time keeping a relationship for sure.
Yes to this. Being an attractive lady causes jealousy in the relationship. For example I've had boyfriends tell me I look good in baggy bum clothing. So I were it more and other people don't see my beauty. Negating them talking to me.
Be more agreeable. AKA being submissive. AKA cooperating the opposite of rebellious.
Pretty simple really, but pride makes it complicated. Unfortunately complicated.
Got to find ways to be more agreeable.
Highly disagreeable women..i know one...39 never been married engaged or wed...no kids...she can disagree about the most obviously dumb things and be wrong and still trhwo a tantrum and threathen to hit men....she told me last week that she is going into the navy...i laughed and said good riddance....great body...face is a 4 but she is nice persona....but the shorty is too disagreeable for my own safety...GOOD RIDDANCE!!!..lol
There’s a thin line. I’ve dated men in the past who wanted me to be agreeable while I did everything for them, while they cheated on me, and one I even almost lost my life to. If you want to be agreeable with each other, boundaries and intentions MUST be established and you must prove to be a gentleman. When I am treated well by the one I love I am very agreeable indeed and go out of my way to do kind things for you. I think it takes a lot of growing and maturing to reach that point unless you were raised in a super religious household and get married as soon as you turn 18 (which can still end badly sometimes).
I am very impressed and have a lot of respect of her mature honesty.
I really enjoy Shan she is the best.
People stick around beautiful longer even though they don’t like them, they like being seen with them. At least with a less attractive person that person knows pretty quickly if someone likes them for who they are or not.
I’ve always loved and admired Shan. This dialogue makes me love her even more.
Really? I'm glad you noticed that too.. I thought I was the only one complaining. You sounds like country songs fans. Here is my email address andercole123@gmail.com.. you can text me on it that way we can talk
Be more agreeable! It helps in relationships 👍🏾
Very true.
There's a fine line between agreeableness and being door mat. I say be assertive but fair
@@Xscape128 this is a better solution.
I find it fascinating when very attractive women start getting interested in you the moment you stop giving them attention
It's because we are so used to people trying to impress us or be intimidated by us that when a guy treats us like an average looking woman we finally feel like someone is not objectifying us and that's rare. It makes us finally feel like a human. Not a shallow unbothered rude diva, as most of men assume we are.
It's all about personality. If your personality is not something he wants to be in a relationship with then you'll just be a pretty conquest. If you are the stereotypical hard to get high maintenance hot girl that flaunts your beauty as your most central trait and most redeeming quality (i.e. your personality is lame) then yes you will be treated like a prize and nothing more or your relationship will be toxic (e.g. Blac Chyna, Naomi Campbell, Rihanna, young Shan Boody). If on the other hand, in addition to being pretty, you are also a well developed three dimensional individual who is gracious, gifted in connecting with others, lifts up people and inspires love and respect from others (i.e. your personality is desirable) then you won't have any problem (e.g Jada Pinckett, Chrissy Teigen, Ayesha Curry, Michelle Obama, mature Shan Boody etc) ...Just being pretty isn't good enough. But instead of looking inward you're still blaming men and dating. Did you not listen to anything Shan Boody said? Be more introspective. Address what you are projecting and things will fall into place.
Finally a woman taking accountability it’s a blessing
I know one thing I’m single and I’m so tired of people asking me why like it’s my problem like it’s my fault I literally do not meet guys like that. The current guy that I am friends with told me that he’s not gonna stroke my ego 😔
I like your guy friend 💪🏼. He sounds like a real man.
It’s funny how the women who need this the most are watching Netflix🤣😂
Omg I am having the same issues. I’m told how beautiful I am but I can’t find anyone
MissPrettyN'Pink , stop playing mind games with men and you will find one.
Paul Martins facts
It’s not that you can’t find someone, you just won’t allow yourself to
Problem is: oftentimes nice people don't even get the chance to start the race.
I've got quite a number of friends that are really nice, honest and trustworthy people. But guess what, they're not the ones getting the women. They are the ones who listen to girls/women in a relationship, hearing "why can't he be more like you?".
And I personally realized after a few relationships, that being too nice and too agreeable in a relationship doesn't necessarily make it last longer. In the beginning I tried to adept, find compromises, change my behavior according to her demands to a certain extent. My conclusion today: it doesn't work that well.
My motto today: compromises are good and necessary, but don't try to change who I am. And I can get quite explicit about what is fine with me and where I draw the lines. The result: the relationships last longer and are not as stressful as before.
What helps as well is to have his own standards or "basic requirements". Why should it always be up to the women to have the "demands" and "checklists"? Tell her what you expect from a woman/relationship. Find out what each partner is bringing to the table. It's pretty easy to find out who she really is after she realizes that being pretty and providing sex isn't enough for you to enter a relationship.
Wow. What a rant 😅
I once read in a men's magazine that men should look for women with low self esteem if they wanna sleep with a woman quickly. So a pretty girl with low self esteem is a bonus. You guys should be proud of yourselves! Wake up ladies. If men aren't offering you anything, keep it moving.
if she has low self esteem she will probably reject you because she doesn't feel like she's good enough
So, what are the signs a woman has low self-esteem? Asking for a friend ,😂
A lot of beautiful women for one don’t know how to communicate without being defensive or playing victim. Guys who have self respect or on there purpose don’t have time to put up with that.
Deadass bruh. Life to short for that noise.
True, but it's irrevelent because there is an endless pool of men that will put up with that. They will sacrifice their self-respect even for the slim chance of pushing their genetics into the future with that "beautiful woman".
This, what you're doing is exactly why they'll get defensive because you're projecting an entire character unto them without even knowing them. Your mindset when approaching them is already set in a negative vibration which is then felt by them hence the follow up reactions of negativity.
The most attractive thing a person can do is take personal ownership for themselves. By attractive I don't just mean romantically. You are respected by strangers, cherished by friends, and valued by your partner. The moment we start pointing the finger it just creates an internal struggle. Love seeing videos like this.
Because all they bring to the table is their body. Real men want more than just a pretty face
Fact which most women do
Yeah true you should be more agreeable in relationships if you are already a disagreeable person. But idk a nice girl who’s too agreeable is kinda boring so it’s all about balance, they should learn a little disagreeableness to avoid resentment. It’s all about knowing yourself.
Absolutely. Everyone needs boundaries and a backbone.
So true. Most women tend to fear a hot/pretty/sexy woman because they believe that all the guys would go for her and ignore them. The reality is the opposite: as a guy, I’d want a relationship with the approachable “girl next door” type of woman any day of the week. The hot/sexy ones are actually extremely intimidating to men. It’s a similar thing with guys. Most men tend to feel all the women would go for the road-rage filled Alpha male at the gym with huge biceps and chest simply because they fear/respect that kind of a man. The reality is more subtle: women often prefer a more intelligent, sensitive, kind, loyal, caring, yet assertive man for a relationship. I guess it’s a common human fallacy.
Finding a meaningful relationship can be difficult for both guys and girls. Women in general don’t have a struggle when it comes to dating or having sex. Not many things are required from us unlike guys. Guys are expected to have a car, approach us, take the initiative, ask our number, ask us out, pay for everything since the first date, pursue us, court and romance us, send us flowers, be a gentleman, propose, buy us a ring which averages 3 months of their salary, and the long list goes on. We pretty much just have to show up to the date and enjoy the free ride. This is another example of how most women throw equality out the window when convenient. Maybe I am the minority but since the first date I do the things I mentioned in this paragraph. Come on girls, guys ALSO deserve all the things we expect and demand from them unless we are spoiled princesses who feel the world should only revolve around us. Relationships are supposed to be all about TWO people not just us. There are bad guys who just want sex but there are as many girls who just want to be with a guy because of his money 💵.
Exactly, I agree with every word. Feminist consider me a pick for having this mindset.
"What is the trait that's blocking your blessings ?" I like that question
Amen
“being attractive “ is subjective ... it’s somebody for everybody...whatever is a win for you , own it !
its like the speed limit: there's a base idea that everyone will more or less follow
💪🏾
Right, I wasn’t trying to be that person but who’s not beautiful bc they don’t look like her. Everybody looks at others through their own eyes and like what they like.
love, respect and compromise with each other and you will have a happy life and relationship.
This woman is phenomenal! No shade she needs her own podcast and I want to host it with her!!!!
damn this woman is very wise and smart. Gonna check out the full episode. Good job as always guys
Preciate it RKOSun, glad we can help :)