Thank you SO much for bringing up the whole " oh I'm not attracted to non-binary people " thing cause after I accepted that I'm non-binary I was like who the hell is gonna have a label that includes me other than pan people.
bisexuality in general includes nb! i haven't finished watching the video, but i get really stressed out that people don't realize when i say i'm bi i'm saying i'm attracted to all genders aaaaaaaa
i'm nb too, my bf uses he/they and he's trans, but he's not sure if he wants to identify as nb or male, i'm not really sure about my sexuality and neither is he, we just like each other, i think i'm demisexual but that's difficult to label
Noah is suddenly a 12 year old boy "b0oB!" It's cool, Noah. My partner is trans and since getting top surgery they are suddenly much more comfortable with being attracted to women, even physically, like being more comfortable with bOoBs in general. 🙂 So I think sometimes not having to worry about what's "off" about your own body means you can appreciate it on someone else's body.
Oh yes, that's so true. Boobs made me cringe before top surgery, because seeing them made me "feel" mine. My "preference" for men is becoming more and more insignificant as my transition progresses.
Dude, what's worst for me is that as a transmasculine, dating a guy automatically means you're not a guy. Legit, if you are in a relationship with a man, people will consider this as a straight relationship and my ex saw me as a girl even though I was known as a dude to him for some time until we got together. And I am still kinda insecure when a male-crush appears in my crush list because people will not consider me as a man. It sucks, man. Especially when your friends you knew for a long time does not reconsider.
@@user-bv5qx4ee2r Dude, I'm so sorry that happens to you. Especially from someone who knows you as a guy. That's just rude. Don't let someone else's rudeness dictate your actions, be you. (I know it ain't easy.)
Omg! You saying that you sound gay even when talking about girls is 100% me. I have friends that refuse to believe I'm pan because everything I say sounds gay, even when it's in regards to members of the "opposite" gender. 🤣
In regard to the actual topic of the video, this makes me happy. That you're able to share this stuff. Sexuality is more fluid than we will ever realize. Added to being trans is definitely a challenge as it's even more confusing. Looking at your female celeb crushes, though, you definitely have a type. Don't get too hung up about the internalized stuff like caring about the height difference. Like you have an insecurity and that's fine. If you find someone that you like regardless of that insecurity then great, if not, that's fine too. It's your life and your sexuality. What you're attracted to is fine. You can have all the preferences. What people don't get is that the only problem is when you're a douche about your preferences. Like you put others down for not meeting them. You're not a bad person because you don't find someone attractive because maybe they have a mole in an odd spot. Telling them that's why would be the bad thing. But you like who you like
Still sexuality isnt fluid for everyone. Some lesbians will never be interested the slightest in a man and some guys wont ever want to start a sexual relationship with a woman. And thats fine too. Im just saying this because so many people try to take others sexualities away from them by using this as an argument :)
@@middlemarch5507 And not all trans men do mastectomy, because not everyone has dysphoria about it, you just don't know about it, you don't know anything, you don't live it or feel it, you're just a failed fool who can't see people being who they really are, but people like you don't really matter, they're just useless people
Oh my g o d thank you because this is very similar to what I'm going through right now- guy, 19, identified as gay for years, realising I'm not gay and I'm bi but I'm still more attracted to men and still for some reason so uncomfortable about discussing my attraction to women and it makes n o sense to me but I've felt this slight guilt over it recently, because I've been kinda like "well surely your sexuality would have fully developed years ago so you can't be bi and to call yourself bi is disrespectful to actual bi people" and honest to God this has been the most helpful thing because its the first time I've realised it's- not just like that? So um thank you so much
I think we can get hung up on it, because being gay isn't just an orientation - for many, it's also an identity. If I (a cisgender woman) consider myself a lesbian, am involved in the lesbian community, but realize I also sometimes want to be with men...can I still be involved with the lesbian community? Will I be shunned, and if so, then what, because I certainly don't feel comfortable in the 'straight community' as it were. There are plenty of people who identify as straight, yet sometimes enjoy relations with the same gender; they just mainly identify with the 'straight lifestyle' more than the queer community. I think it can be a bit harder for gay people to admit they sometimes are attracted to someone of another gender, as there is a lot of support in queer communities for other 'outsiders', but a feeling that if you're straight-passing, you're, like, taking resources you don't 'need' anymore?? It's kinda hard to explain. Bisexuals not feeling welcome in queer spaces is definitely not all in their heads. Anyway, yeah, being gay is usually (but not always!) about your social identity in addition to what kind of people you may want to play nekkid with, so it can be very shaky to navigate if you have a very defined gay identity. But you're absolutely right - it's just not like that. It's far more nuanced than many people want to admit!
Bro, some people realize their sexuality in their 20's, 30's or later. You are developing as a human and even if sexuality is something innate, most people are not super self-aware from a young age. You don't become an adult and then suddenly stop character development. People learn new things about themselves their whole lives. I recently learned that there are people who discover they have adhd in their 70's. That's something you have from birth and affects your whole life (too) and yet you could be oblivious to it.
"I feel like I still sound gay even when I'm talking about boobies" legit, I'm a bisexual, transmasc enby and I feel gay towards everyone. Even though I'm not a guy, I feel gay towards guys, even though I'm not a girl, I feel gay towards girls (though it still kinda feels dysphoric) and I am non-binary so I obviously feel gay towards other enbies. It's very confusing to explain to people that don't get it, but it makes sense to me.
Oh my god, this totally makes sense to me!!! I couldn't put it into words. I always imagined being in a relationship with a woman, man, or enby in a gay way. I just, straight didn't really feel right for me. If I was in a relationship with a woman, it'd feel gay to me. If I was in a relationship with a man, it'd feel gay, too. Or with an enby it'd still feel gay. I am non-binary and bi/pan. So, really any relationship will feel gay to me.
my reasoning behind preferring the label bi over pan is that to me bi means being attracted to multiple genders whereas pan means being attracted regardless of gender. so i prefer the term bi because gender definitely still influences my attraction
I mean, the idea that gender must play a factor to bisexuals, therefore pan is the solution is a little biphobic (I'm not saying you are, I'm saying that definition is, and whoever made that definition DEFINITELY is)... sure gender may play into it for you, but that's not the case for a lot of bi people :/ just thought I'd point it out as it's a common misconception of bisexuality as a whole and it gets really frustrating to hear💀
isn't that being omni? i feel the same as noah but i used to identify as pan.(now i identify as omni) i don't know why the term pan is considered biphobic could someone explain
@@kalki3060 yeah I also identify as omni for this reason, but also bi and use it more for convenience. I think above the person is saying that assuming that bi can't mean "attraction regardless of gender" is biphobic. Personally I think if someone said "I'm bi and for me that means attraction regardless of gender" and someone else was like "no it doesn't" that could be biphobia. But I usually see gender as being a factor or not as the distinction between bi and pan definitions, so I can see how they'd come to that assumption. Personally I think it's fine so long as we stay open to new things and believe people when they tell us about their experiences and labels.
I do actually remember in those kinda like slowly coming out as bi videos u made, when u said if im 90% into men and 10% into women im still bi. Dude that helped me figure my shit out so much n its actually one of the first things i talk about w/ someone who wants to talk about maybe they think theyre bi. I already know how much it helped me n two of my friends. Anyways yeah jdbskzn tyvm :)
Right?! It's so rarely a 50-50 split; it usually is weighted more in one direction than the other (& even that can flip sometimes!). You can absolutely consider yourself bi even if you only like another gender 5% or 10% of the time! (It's also okay to have the same feelings but still decide to identify as gay)
Yea when he said that I was like “shit I’m totally bi” but I feel like a lot of people don’t think girls who are mainly attracted to guys are valid so not looking forward to that.
I'm not sure if this is a common experience among transmasc people. I myself am an afab boyflux bisexual, and had a similar struggle with my sexuality. Being so uncomfortable with my own "womanhood" means that it's odd to accept that I like women. I'm very new to accepting my identity as a trans person as well, so thinking about being the man in a straight relationship also felt disingenuine to myself a year ago as a bisexual "girl," which made me doubt if I was actually bi and I feared I was just trying to conform to the expectations of guys to like girls. However, if I think outside of societal pressures, I am confident in my bisexuality and preference for men. I'm glad that you've also figured it out Noah, it was nice to hear about a similar experience.
@@mollypeters123 Awesome! I thought I was a demiboy for a while but then sometimes I didn't feel like anything and sometimes I feel very much like a guy, so it's tricky to figure out. Best of luck to you man!
Ohmygod when I first questioned my sexuality it was like: Am I gay? I mean if I was a guy, I'd be into guys, so that makes me straight right? And now I'm bisexual and non-binary so y'know that's fun
Noah: *makes a long honest video telling his entire life and sexuality story* Me: ... wait, does that mean I have a chance? 👀 jk, welcome to the bi community 💗💜💙 someone will teach you to cuff your jeans and you can grab your doc martens on the corner over there don't forget to train your peace signs ✌🏻
Ahh your QnAs always make me happy, they are very informative and entertaining, being a cis female bisexual myself it's always nice seeing other people's experiences/feelings towards their bisexuality; Proud of you for figuring yourself out and being more comfy with your sexuality! =] 💗💗💜💜💙💙
14:54 from an asexual person who’s questioned about this a lot “ooo pretty person” attraction for me is like looking at a beautiful painting. I look at it and see the fine brush strokes, the sun shining through the leaves of the tree, the bird flying above the lake, and I feel happy and pleased looking at it, it makes my brain feel good but that’s it. It’s nothing more than a happy or satisfied feeling you get from looking at art.
I think you just confirmed my lack of attraction to women. I definitely see pretty people who I perceive as a woman like a gorgeous piece of art and a possible friend.
I'm still in the stage of: I'm not able to date anyone, because I'm literally the worst person when it gets to relationships with people, because I need so much time alone. I just don't want, that anyone has to deal with my shit. It makes me feel quite lonely, but at the same time I think it's great, because I don't get into toxic relationships. But I have a crush on a girl so bad. We were best friends when we were kids and now we don't see each other very often, tought I wish we could. She was the reason I found out that I was pan. I never came out as that. For a long time I thought that I'm only attracted to guys, but I've realised, that for me, gender just doesn't matter. But as I said, it doesn't really affect my life, because right now I'm not able to get into a realationship. (I think, this was my therapy lesson for this week. Thank you for your attention.)
I'm bi and have experienced a lot of "confusement" in my days but, of course, for completely different reasons. It's always so nice to see someone finding them selfes regardless at what age or circumstance they do so. Also, you are really cute and it would be so fun to go to one of your concerts but I live in Sweden so we'll see I guess
The part abt how your attraction to men didn’t feel straight, and how you felt like you liked men but in a gay way, that’s kind of relatable, and excuse me if I’m making a false equivalency here, I’m a straight trans girl and my attraction to men never felt gay, I really like hearing that someone went thru something generally similar
At 8:00 I LOVE that when he shared a list of female celebrities he's attracted to he listed women who are different races 💕 not only just white women 🤣
You said you couldn't think of a specific non-binary person but Cara Delevingne who you mentioned earlier in the video as a celebrity crush identifies as genderfluid so you'd already confirmed your attraction to nb people (and that they can look like anything, not just androgynous) without realising. 😊
@@Harri_James Noah is not a man. She cannot be a gay man. Saying she can is homophobic. Noah is a woman who has mut1lated herself with surgeries and hormones.
Yo I realised that on a wall close to the bus station in my town somebody wrote “proud underachiever crew” I look at it everyday since I take the bus everyday like I just think of you every time I look at it
Hi Noah, I wanted to thank you for this video. Over the last two months I have been questioning my sexuality. A little info: I'm a 14 year old girl and I always thought I was straight. In the last few months I have realised that I am bisexual. I've realised that I've had crushes on girls before, but I always thought that I just wanted to be like them. For example, I had a huge crush on Mulan, but I always thought I just wanted to fight like her and kick men's ass like she does. I'm also much more comfortable with the label bisexual than omnisexual or pansexual, although I am attracted to non-binary people too. You really say all the things I've been thinking over the past few months. Thank you for making this video, it encourages me to be more comfortable with my sexuality and to come out to my friends and family one day. Eli
Idk why youtube algorithm brought me to your channel, but it's been more than a year and I ain't mad about it. It's so refreshing to watch people who are unapologetically themselves, it's encouraging
I actually realized I was pan when I came out as trans! I definitely agree : getting more confident about your identity helps you to figure yourself out.
.・゜-: ✧ :- Testosterone doesn't change your sexuality, it makes you comfortable enough to explore your sexuality -: ✧ :-゜・． ( 8:38 ) For 3 years, I thought I was Aromantic & Asexual. I recgonise now that that was majorly due to trauma, but that still doesn't invalidate being aro/ace, y'know? Then after starting T & growing more comfortable w/ my body, I realised I do indeed experience romantic & sexual attraction. Yay comfortably exploring !!
I've honestly also had so much confusion when it comes to my sexuality... I'm glad you found a label that fits you. I identified as bi since June of last year, but I'm just super confused at this point, might be something to do with asexuality but ill have to think about it more. anyways thanks for sharing this video with us
now this whole video was so relatable and i love you for saying all that. i feel a little more secure now. i’m a really hesitant, still in the closet, non-binary person (born a female) that was “attracted” to guys their whole life. later i came to the conclusion i didn’t want to be WITH them but BE them. then i found out i was attracted to girls “only” and now i’m thinking “hm maybe i am attracted to guys but can’t accept that because of all my insecurities” - the insecurities being that i wish i had their body. since i’m nb it’s all not so clear for me since i like being masculine as well as being feminine. but i can’t imagine being with a guy that see’s me as a fem girl. well. i should probably try getting more comfortable with my identity first lol
As a fellow bi person, it just kinda makes me a little frustrated when people ask things like “how do you know you’re attracted to a girl and not just like her aesthetic?” Well idk you just know the feeling you have is more than that. Idk to me it just kinda seems like they don’t believe you. Not saying these people meant it in that way tho.
Personally, I like the definition of bisexuality as liking multiple genders but have a gender preference (such as preferring guys/masculine people) and pansexuality as liking multiple genders and having no gender preference.
Honestly I’m 12 and things have been hard for me idk I use to be vary open about being bisexual but people started saying things like bisexual people aka me are cheaters and confused and are not valid ..so I move to a new school lots of people like and think I’m pretty but I feel like I’m pretending to be someone I’m not …it’s hard 😔my own mom is homophobic and the things she say about the lgbtq🏳️🌈 community hurts me so much, that’s wh I’m scared to come out to her I feel liken no one care about me they all just think my life is amazing because I’m pretty something I just feel lonely scared but if I show it to anyone they won’t care I just wish I had a loving and accepting family so plz if u have a supportive family don’t take it for granted and be grateful I would do anything for that 😔..ps I love your videos they are super relatable 🖤
normally when people come out i say i’m so proud of you for discovering something about yourself but it feels so weird saying that to someone i look up to and admire so much who’s older than me but still congrats for finding a better label :)
As a trans guy who *currently* IDs as a gay but who is in the "wait do I possibly like women too??" phase-- I am comforted to see that we share some celebrity crushes (zendaya, willow Smith, Cara delevigne!) Also, props to smacking that Bi erasure out the window, love that you are getting comfy exploring different labels :'' '))
I know this is not related but I need to express to the fellow LGBT's how uneducated and transphobic my mother is. She says and I quote "Just because you don't fit "gender stereotypes", doesn't mean you are allowed to be a boy" which makes no sense. She also told me that its not even possible to be trans Help me I think I'm trans and she won't support me if I was 😥
That sucks. Do you have other people in your life who might be supportive? Your mum doesn't get to decide if you're a boy. That's for you to figure out. 💜 I get that this can be hard to live with though. - a nonbinary trans guy who's 30. My parents weren't supportive of me transitioning at 25 but they've come around now, and it wasn't up to them.
Hey Noah! I’m a trans boy and came out to my mum recently. She completely supported me but won’t let me get my hair cut short until I know how to style it correctly 🥲. I wanted to get it cut like yours, but can’t find any videos on how to fix it like that. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk, I’d love if you could help
Well, that depends a lot on your hair. Personally I just need to blow dry my hair, maybe sometimes use some hair wax or whatever. When I got my hair cut short, the hairdresser told me how to maintain it so yea, perhaps seek some professional advice? Idk
Good for you bisexual is the best I came a year ago at 42 it is a lot easier now then when I was young I'd say I'm more to guys then women. But in my twenties I was more into girls. New subscriber young man
When I first started watching your videos, it was because I wanted to learn about the LGBTQIA+ community (at that point I just thought I was a weirdly passionate ally). Now I'm learning more about myself.
It's understandable. You needed to feel comfortable with yourself first. Sexuality is confusing. Love you Noah, from a 31yr old cis female who is Bi/Ace & never had a relationship. ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Important to note too that sexuality regardless of label can be inclusive of nb people!! Loved your take on this. I've always identified as gay but frustrated that people assume that means I'm strictly attracted to *binary* men
i feel like ur point abt the whole “t changes ur sexuality” myth is a rly good one bc i’ve experienced smth similar without going on t. like before i came out there were points where i would even question if i was just fully a lesbian, but now i very much like guys as well. sometimes u just need to get to a point in your life where you can work your gender out and then you realize something about your sexuality once youre feeling more comfortable with yourself
I've also struggld with my sexuality for a while now and hearing you say you're bi but mostly into men in tose earlier videos was like 'wait you can do that?' which sounds silly but I hadn't thought about it like that before. So thanks for that 💚
Well I am quite confused since half a year cause a friend of mine (who is trans and gay) pointed out that I gave off gay/bi vibes (for several reasons which I guess are partly stupid, but not all of em). It's nice to hear you talk about it because although I had doubted it, there probably is this bi part in me trying to jump out. It's just such a constant confusion, it doesn't feel like it matters or I would ever come out or something. Whatever Okay this got way too long lol. This was a random urge to type stuff into the comment section. Little unnecessary but who cares. Also NOAHS EYES look SO PRETTY in this video!!?!!!
What's funny is that ever since i was like eleven, Everytime i had a crush on a guy it felt gay? And when i liked women it felt straight? Lol. But the reason ive never been in a relationship is cuz even tho i identify as non-binary transmasc i still look like a cis female irl so knowing someone has a crush on me it feels like they only see me as a girl and that sucks.
I'm glad you figured it out and feel comfortable with your sexuality! I've been questioning mine for like 2 years now, and it's been exhausting. It wasn't until a couple weeks ago that I (finally) talked about it with some LGB friends that they reassured me a lot about it. One of them told me "you don't have to put a label on it" and that has given me so much peace of mind. I used to stress so much about trying to find a label, but ever since I took my friend's words at heart, I feel so much more content with how I feel. I'll keep exploring, and maybe one day I'll have an answer, but I no longer care if I don't. Being "label-less" makes me feel the most comfortable at the moment. We all have different journeys, and that's okay!
This reminds me how my cousin had an easy transition cause he got Brest cancer and was like “well now I have no tits that’s one part of the equation” anyways I found it funny he said that
ARE YOU ALSO BISEXUAL?!?!?
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Hello fellow bisexual intellectual
I'm questioning and I think I might either be bi or omnisexual. But I might also be asexual? idk. I'm defiantly not straight.
I’m bi myself :(
I AM :)
"people were like, ah, a dude" "and i was like, crazy right"
-noah 2021
As a bisexual….. WELCOME OFFICIALLY TO THE COMMUNITY WE LOVE TO HAVE YOU HERE 🏳️🌈💓💜💙
Yes
Yes
Yes
yes indeed
Yes :D
Thank you SO much for bringing up the whole " oh I'm not attracted to non-binary people " thing cause after I accepted that I'm non-binary I was like who the hell is gonna have a label that includes me other than pan people.
bisexuality in general includes nb! i haven't finished watching the video, but i get really stressed out that people don't realize when i say i'm bi i'm saying i'm attracted to all genders aaaaaaaa
i'm nb too, my bf uses he/they and he's trans, but he's not sure if he wants to identify as nb or male, i'm not really sure about my sexuality and neither is he, we just like each other, i think i'm demisexual but that's difficult to label
@@v4rins0nn seems complicated 😵💫
@sewer~rat that’d depend on whether sexual attraction is based on sex, gender identity, or gender expression.
sewer~rat asexuality doesn't in the same way
Noah is suddenly a 12 year old boy "b0oB!" It's cool, Noah. My partner is trans and since getting top surgery they are suddenly much more comfortable with being attracted to women, even physically, like being more comfortable with bOoBs in general. 🙂 So I think sometimes not having to worry about what's "off" about your own body means you can appreciate it on someone else's body.
I think this makes sense idk
Oh yes, that's so true. Boobs made me cringe before top surgery, because seeing them made me "feel" mine. My "preference" for men is becoming more and more insignificant as my transition progresses.
Dude, what's worst for me is that as a transmasculine, dating a guy automatically means you're not a guy. Legit, if you are in a relationship with a man, people will consider this as a straight relationship and my ex saw me as a girl even though I was known as a dude to him for some time until we got together.
And I am still kinda insecure when a male-crush appears in my crush list because people will not consider me as a man. It sucks, man. Especially when your friends you knew for a long time does not reconsider.
@@user-bv5qx4ee2r Dude, I'm so sorry that happens to you. Especially from someone who knows you as a guy. That's just rude. Don't let someone else's rudeness dictate your actions, be you. (I know it ain't easy.)
Mutilated women are not men.
As a lesbian, I agree that
🌈🌸💗✨g i r l s✨💗🌸🌈
✨ w o m e n ✨
What about ✨6'3 mixed race trans girls✨?
@@katwood7120 i think that hello i'm still single??? 🙏 /hj
@@katwood7120 still a
🌈🌸💗✨g i r l✨💗🌸🌈
@ Kat Wood still a
🌈🌸💗✨ g i r l ✨💗🌸🌈
Well, Noah. My respect for you has gone through the roof.
jeff i finally found you
@@damon1144 or has he found you🤔
mine was already in space now it’s in a whole other fuckin universe
yo jeff why do you kill
Is killing fun????
Omg! You saying that you sound gay even when talking about girls is 100% me. I have friends that refuse to believe I'm pan because everything I say sounds gay, even when it's in regards to members of the "opposite" gender. 🤣
Role call for all the people who felt little to no romantic attraction through out most of their childhood
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\/
Tentative like because valid, but never actually got the chance to even think of romance due to closeting, so...maybe? XD
Still don't as an adult :)
Kinda different but similar
But when you LOSE that romantic attraction *screams in Frayromantic*
I’m ace/aro so yup. Still don’t feel any romantic (or sexual for that matter) attraction to anyone in my mid 20s.
Aroflux here and yep
In regard to the actual topic of the video, this makes me happy. That you're able to share this stuff. Sexuality is more fluid than we will ever realize. Added to being trans is definitely a challenge as it's even more confusing. Looking at your female celeb crushes, though, you definitely have a type. Don't get too hung up about the internalized stuff like caring about the height difference. Like you have an insecurity and that's fine. If you find someone that you like regardless of that insecurity then great, if not, that's fine too. It's your life and your sexuality. What you're attracted to is fine. You can have all the preferences. What people don't get is that the only problem is when you're a douche about your preferences. Like you put others down for not meeting them. You're not a bad person because you don't find someone attractive because maybe they have a mole in an odd spot. Telling them that's why would be the bad thing. But you like who you like
Still sexuality isnt fluid for everyone. Some lesbians will never be interested the slightest in a man and some guys wont ever want to start a sexual relationship with a woman. And thats fine too. Im just saying this because so many people try to take others sexualities away from them by using this as an argument :)
You can't make a man by starting with a woman and subtracting. Women who have surgeries or hormones are still just women.
@@middlemarch5507 you‘re just embarrassing yourself
@@lizzieeverlyn4494 women with mastectomies have not gotten closer to being a man. They're still just a woman who had their breasts removed.
@@middlemarch5507 And not all trans men do mastectomy, because not everyone has dysphoria about it, you just don't know about it, you don't know anything, you don't live it or feel it, you're just a failed fool who can't see people being who they really are, but people like you don't really matter, they're just useless people
I literally am having this exact same moment too 😭 Girls are so 🖤 Boys are so 🖤
Same. I like both. Why do I have to pick! Lol
I discovered I’m bi like 3 days ago and I agree girls r hot
Lmao I just realized technically ur the first person I came out too. Internet strangers are easy.
I turned bi like three months ago lol and I don't want to be straight ever again😘😜 Lets go pink purple and blue 💗💜💙
Oh my g o d thank you because this is very similar to what I'm going through right now- guy, 19, identified as gay for years, realising I'm not gay and I'm bi but I'm still more attracted to men and still for some reason so uncomfortable about discussing my attraction to women and it makes n o sense to me but I've felt this slight guilt over it recently, because I've been kinda like "well surely your sexuality would have fully developed years ago so you can't be bi and to call yourself bi is disrespectful to actual bi people" and honest to God this has been the most helpful thing because its the first time I've realised it's- not just like that? So um thank you so much
I think we can get hung up on it, because being gay isn't just an orientation - for many, it's also an identity. If I (a cisgender woman) consider myself a lesbian, am involved in the lesbian community, but realize I also sometimes want to be with men...can I still be involved with the lesbian community? Will I be shunned, and if so, then what, because I certainly don't feel comfortable in the 'straight community' as it were.
There are plenty of people who identify as straight, yet sometimes enjoy relations with the same gender; they just mainly identify with the 'straight lifestyle' more than the queer community. I think it can be a bit harder for gay people to admit they sometimes are attracted to someone of another gender, as there is a lot of support in queer communities for other 'outsiders', but a feeling that if you're straight-passing, you're, like, taking resources you don't 'need' anymore?? It's kinda hard to explain. Bisexuals not feeling welcome in queer spaces is definitely not all in their heads.
Anyway, yeah, being gay is usually (but not always!) about your social identity in addition to what kind of people you may want to play nekkid with, so it can be very shaky to navigate if you have a very defined gay identity. But you're absolutely right - it's just not like that. It's far more nuanced than many people want to admit!
It’s ok for your sexuality to shift and change! Labels are just a way for us to figure out where we are in a given moment but don’t let them limit you
Bro, some people realize their sexuality in their 20's, 30's or later. You are developing as a human and even if sexuality is something innate, most people are not super self-aware from a young age.
You don't become an adult and then suddenly stop character development. People learn new things about themselves their whole lives.
I recently learned that there are people who discover they have adhd in their 70's. That's something you have from birth and affects your whole life (too) and yet you could be oblivious to it.
its honestly so nice to hear someone talk about their bisexuality in such an honest way, so as a fellow bisexual person, thank you Noah.
hahaha Noah I love you. "I feel like I sound gay even when talking about boobs."
"I feel like I still sound gay even when I'm talking about boobies" legit, I'm a bisexual, transmasc enby and I feel gay towards everyone. Even though I'm not a guy, I feel gay towards guys, even though I'm not a girl, I feel gay towards girls (though it still kinda feels dysphoric) and I am non-binary so I obviously feel gay towards other enbies. It's very confusing to explain to people that don't get it, but it makes sense to me.
Oh my god, this totally makes sense to me!!! I couldn't put it into words. I always imagined being in a relationship with a woman, man, or enby in a gay way. I just, straight didn't really feel right for me. If I was in a relationship with a woman, it'd feel gay to me. If I was in a relationship with a man, it'd feel gay, too. Or with an enby it'd still feel gay. I am non-binary and bi/pan. So, really any relationship will feel gay to me.
the way I related so hard
Im a bisexual cis woman and i feel gay for my boyfriend and im not sure why
my reasoning behind preferring the label bi over pan is that to me bi means being attracted to multiple genders whereas pan means being attracted regardless of gender. so i prefer the term bi because gender definitely still influences my attraction
Well said👏
I mean, the idea that gender must play a factor to bisexuals, therefore pan is the solution is a little biphobic (I'm not saying you are, I'm saying that definition is, and whoever made that definition DEFINITELY is)...
sure gender may play into it for you, but that's not the case for a lot of bi people :/ just thought I'd point it out as it's a common misconception of bisexuality as a whole and it gets really frustrating to hear💀
Yes. And most definitely includes trans in bisexuality.
isn't that being omni? i feel the same as noah but i used to identify as pan.(now i identify as omni) i don't know why the term pan is considered biphobic could someone explain
@@kalki3060 yeah I also identify as omni for this reason, but also bi and use it more for convenience.
I think above the person is saying that assuming that bi can't mean "attraction regardless of gender" is biphobic.
Personally I think if someone said "I'm bi and for me that means attraction regardless of gender" and someone else was like "no it doesn't" that could be biphobia. But I usually see gender as being a factor or not as the distinction between bi and pan definitions, so I can see how they'd come to that assumption. Personally I think it's fine so long as we stay open to new things and believe people when they tell us about their experiences and labels.
I do actually remember in those kinda like slowly coming out as bi videos u made, when u said if im 90% into men and 10% into women im still bi. Dude that helped me figure my shit out so much n its actually one of the first things i talk about w/ someone who wants to talk about maybe they think theyre bi. I already know how much it helped me n two of my friends. Anyways yeah jdbskzn tyvm :)
Right?! It's so rarely a 50-50 split; it usually is weighted more in one direction than the other (& even that can flip sometimes!). You can absolutely consider yourself bi even if you only like another gender 5% or 10% of the time! (It's also okay to have the same feelings but still decide to identify as gay)
same that really made me feel super valid and more comfortable w the label :)
Yea when he said that I was like “shit I’m totally bi” but I feel like a lot of people don’t think girls who are mainly attracted to guys are valid so not looking forward to that.
I'm not sure if this is a common experience among transmasc people. I myself am an afab boyflux bisexual, and had a similar struggle with my sexuality. Being so uncomfortable with my own "womanhood" means that it's odd to accept that I like women. I'm very new to accepting my identity as a trans person as well, so thinking about being the man in a straight relationship also felt disingenuine to myself a year ago as a bisexual "girl," which made me doubt if I was actually bi and I feared I was just trying to conform to the expectations of guys to like girls. However, if I think outside of societal pressures, I am confident in my bisexuality and preference for men. I'm glad that you've also figured it out Noah, it was nice to hear about a similar experience.
hey i think i’m boyflux!!
@@mollypeters123 Awesome! I thought I was a demiboy for a while but then sometimes I didn't feel like anything and sometimes I feel very much like a guy, so it's tricky to figure out. Best of luck to you man!
i'm a boyflux too :DD
@@actually_afton Cool! It's nice to see people like me : ] -Felix
Boyflux gang!!
Ohmygod when I first questioned my sexuality it was like:
Am I gay? I mean if I was a guy, I'd be into guys, so that makes me straight right?
And now I'm bisexual and non-binary so y'know that's fun
Your eyes are so pretty, wtf 😩🛐
The "somehow liking men in a gay way" before knowing you're trans thing-
I just-
I felt that
Noah: *makes a long honest video telling his entire life and sexuality story*
Me: ... wait, does that mean I have a chance? 👀
jk, welcome to the bi community 💗💜💙 someone will teach you to cuff your jeans and you can grab your doc martens on the corner over there don't forget to train your peace signs ✌🏻
😛😛😛😛
"Oh pretty person!" - NoahFinnce 2021
Ahh your QnAs always make me happy, they are very informative and entertaining, being a cis female bisexual myself it's always nice seeing other people's experiences/feelings towards their bisexuality; Proud of you for figuring yourself out and being more comfy with your sexuality! =]
💗💗💜💜💙💙
14:54 from an asexual person who’s questioned about this a lot “ooo pretty person” attraction for me is like looking at a beautiful painting. I look at it and see the fine brush strokes, the sun shining through the leaves of the tree, the bird flying above the lake, and I feel happy and pleased looking at it, it makes my brain feel good but that’s it. It’s nothing more than a happy or satisfied feeling you get from looking at art.
I think you just confirmed my lack of attraction to women. I definitely see pretty people who I perceive as a woman like a gorgeous piece of art and a possible friend.
Hi other ace!
noah ur glowing we luv the energy
I'm still in the stage of: I'm not able to date anyone, because I'm literally the worst person when it gets to relationships with people, because I need so much time alone. I just don't want, that anyone has to deal with my shit. It makes me feel quite lonely, but at the same time I think it's great, because I don't get into toxic relationships.
But I have a crush on a girl so bad. We were best friends when we were kids and now we don't see each other very often, tought I wish we could. She was the reason I found out that I was pan. I never came out as that. For a long time I thought that I'm only attracted to guys, but I've realised, that for me, gender just doesn't matter. But as I said, it doesn't really affect my life, because right now I'm not able to get into a realationship.
(I think, this was my therapy lesson for this week. Thank you for your attention.)
Lol I feel the same about relationship, and I'm also pan
Felt that first part
@@GR4V3YRD sameeee
i’m bisexual but i’m not out rn everyone thinks i’m a lesbian and when i tell them i might be bi they always say I CANT PUCTURE YOU EITH A MANNNN
I'm bi and have experienced a lot of "confusement" in my days but, of course, for completely different reasons. It's always so nice to see someone finding them selfes regardless at what age or circumstance they do so. Also, you are really cute and it would be so fun to go to one of your concerts but I live in Sweden so we'll see I guess
The part abt how your attraction to men didn’t feel straight, and how you felt like you liked men but in a gay way, that’s kind of relatable, and excuse me if I’m making a false equivalency here, I’m a straight trans girl and my attraction to men never felt gay, I really like hearing that someone went thru something generally similar
At 8:00
I LOVE that when he shared a list of female celebrities he's attracted to he listed women who are different races 💕 not only just white women 🤣
Im in love with the way Noah uses "bro" in his sentences
Heres a question, HOW ARE YOUR EYES SO BLUE. THEY'RE SO PRETTY IM JEALOUS
i swear when u said list of celebrity crushes my brain went ZENDAYA
You said you couldn't think of a specific non-binary person but Cara Delevingne who you mentioned earlier in the video as a celebrity crush identifies as genderfluid so you'd already confirmed your attraction to nb people (and that they can look like anything, not just androgynous) without realising. 😊
8:01 And Miley Cyrus
Noah is a woman, and women cannot be gay men. That's homophobic. She's bisexual or lesbian. She can't be gay.
@@middlemarch5507 And you are a fucking transphobe. Also plenty of women use the word gay to describe themselves.
@@Harri_James Noah is not a man. She cannot be a gay man. Saying she can is homophobic. Noah is a woman who has mut1lated herself with surgeries and hormones.
@@middlemarch5507 Enjoy being on the wrong side of history. I'll just continue reporting you. I am queer so I know what is and isn't homophobic.
yay! im glad you get to be your true self and be honest with us! Love you Noah
So proud of you!! Welcome to the family my fellow bisexual 💖💜💙
Yo I realised that on a wall close to the bus station in my town somebody wrote “proud underachiever crew” I look at it everyday since I take the bus everyday like I just think of you every time I look at it
Okok I love this topic and this video but let me just say, 75% of the time I was focused on his blue eyes because they are soo pretty!
also found myself liking boys but in a gay way in my younger years
As a bisexual, I appreciate you talking so freely about this. You definitely just gave me a whole shitload of confidence. 💗💜💙
Hi Noah,
I wanted to thank you for this video.
Over the last two months I have been questioning my sexuality. A little info: I'm a 14 year old girl and I always thought I was straight. In the last few months I have realised that I am bisexual. I've realised that I've had crushes on girls before, but I always thought that I just wanted to be like them. For example, I had a huge crush on Mulan, but I always thought I just wanted to fight like her and kick men's ass like she does.
I'm also much more comfortable with the label bisexual than omnisexual or pansexual, although I am attracted to non-binary people too. You really say all the things I've been thinking over the past few months.
Thank you for making this video, it encourages me to be more comfortable with my sexuality and to come out to my friends and family one day.
Eli
My respect for Noah: 📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈
Same
Noah can only be bisexual or lesbian. As s female, she can never be a gay man. I'm glad Noah stopped lying by saying she's gay.
@@middlemarch5507 noah is a boy, us he/him
@@3_racoons_in_a_trenchcoat358 Noah is a woman. She her
@@middlemarch5507 noah is a trans man.
"clear your history, which i know you're good at" wow Noah, we get it, we clear our history a lot, but you didn't have to call us out like that man
i can so relate to this! thanks for making this videooo and btw. i just realisted how fricking georgeous your eyes are like wtf!?
Same
Idk why youtube algorithm brought me to your channel, but it's been more than a year and I ain't mad about it. It's so refreshing to watch people who are unapologetically themselves, it's encouraging
Hello Noah! Also congrats on figuring it out!! Sexualities are something else entirely that the cishets won't get
Haha I'm in the same stage of my bisexuality. I was first confused, then hesitant, and now I know I'm bi but it's still uncomfy to talk about haha.
Ayyyy man welcome to the bi community! here we cuff our jeans, unbutton our flannels, and be indecisive!!! 💖💜💙
You just described me and I'm not even Bi- *identity crisis*
I actually realized I was pan when I came out as trans! I definitely agree : getting more confident about your identity helps you to figure yourself out.
Bi includes trans
@@mandachris7146 I- didn't say the contrary?
Yay!
Another one!
We need more open bisexual men please!
"It is okay to question your identity"
I needed to hear this today, thank you ;-;
Proud of you Noah!
no questions, just happy and proud of you to be more comfortable with yourself! cheers for that! :)
Those eyes might make me a bit bisexual, like damn boy
I am bisexual and when i saw this advertisement i had to watch this. I lobs you. You are so attractive ❤❤💯
im bisexual and gender fluid 🤚
Noah has tall person energy
That’s fine Noah! Your amazing no matter what
.・゜-: ✧ :- Testosterone doesn't change your sexuality, it makes you comfortable enough to explore your sexuality -: ✧ :-゜・．
( 8:38 )
For 3 years, I thought I was Aromantic & Asexual. I recgonise now that that was majorly due to trauma, but that still doesn't invalidate being aro/ace, y'know? Then after starting T & growing more comfortable w/ my body, I realised I do indeed experience romantic & sexual attraction. Yay comfortably exploring !!
AM I DUMB OR ARE HIS EYES ALWAYS THIS BLUE ???
The pink in his skin and shirt brings his eyes out
I've honestly also had so much confusion when it comes to my sexuality... I'm glad you found a label that fits you. I identified as bi since June of last year, but I'm just super confused at this point, might be something to do with asexuality but ill have to think about it more. anyways thanks for sharing this video with us
I'm so glad to see you, as well as the channel, Grow!
You're always a fresh breath from some of the worlds crap
now this whole video was so relatable and i love you for saying all that. i feel a little more secure now.
i’m a really hesitant, still in the closet, non-binary person (born a female) that was “attracted” to guys their whole life. later i came to the conclusion i didn’t want to be WITH them but BE them. then i found out i was attracted to girls “only” and now i’m thinking “hm maybe i am attracted to guys but can’t accept that because of all my insecurities” - the insecurities being that i wish i had their body.
since i’m nb it’s all not so clear for me since i like being masculine as well as being feminine. but i can’t imagine being with a guy that see’s me as a fem girl.
well. i should probably try getting more comfortable with my identity first lol
As a fellow bi person, it just kinda makes me a little frustrated when people ask things like “how do you know you’re attracted to a girl and not just like her aesthetic?” Well idk you just know the feeling you have is more than that. Idk to me it just kinda seems like they don’t believe you. Not saying these people meant it in that way tho.
Personally, I like the definition of bisexuality as liking multiple genders but have a gender preference (such as preferring guys/masculine people) and pansexuality as liking multiple genders and having no gender preference.
*realizing i can go by whatever I feel comfy with and what other people thong dosent matter* 🤯
I like the definition of bisexual as being attracted to "both the gender that is the same as your own AND genders that are different from your own"
Welcome to the bi community
Hi! Bi girl here. I related with a lot of what you said. We have the same girl crushes. And I can confirm: girls do kiss better.
Honestly I’m 12 and things have been hard for me idk I use to be vary open about being bisexual but people started saying things like bisexual people aka me are cheaters and confused and are not valid ..so I move to a new school lots of people like and think I’m pretty but I feel like I’m pretending to be someone I’m not …it’s hard 😔my own mom is homophobic and the things she say about the lgbtq🏳️🌈 community hurts me so much, that’s wh I’m scared to come out to her I feel liken no one care about me they all just think my life is amazing because I’m pretty something I just feel lonely scared but if I show it to anyone they won’t care I just wish I had a loving and accepting family so plz if u have a supportive family don’t take it for granted and be grateful I would do anything for that 😔..ps I love your videos they are super relatable 🖤
normally when people come out i say i’m so proud of you for discovering something about yourself but it feels so weird saying that to someone i look up to and admire so much who’s older than me but still congrats for finding a better label :)
As a trans guy who *currently* IDs as a gay but who is in the "wait do I possibly like women too??" phase-- I am comforted to see that we share some celebrity crushes (zendaya, willow Smith, Cara delevigne!) Also, props to smacking that Bi erasure out the window, love that you are getting comfy exploring different labels :'' '))
I'm also bi... bymyself!
*cry*
I've been following you since the green day tr*mp cover days. you've grown so much - we love to see it bestie.
this is the first time i’ve watched Noah’s videos. i’m not shocked that Noah is bi, i’m shocked that he’s british.
I know this is not related but I need to express to the fellow LGBT's how uneducated and transphobic my mother is. She says and I quote "Just because you don't fit "gender stereotypes", doesn't mean you are allowed to be a boy" which makes no sense. She also told me that its not even possible to be trans
Help me I think I'm trans and she won't support me if I was 😥
That sucks. Do you have other people in your life who might be supportive? Your mum doesn't get to decide if you're a boy. That's for you to figure out. 💜 I get that this can be hard to live with though.
- a nonbinary trans guy who's 30. My parents weren't supportive of me transitioning at 25 but they've come around now, and it wasn't up to them.
Thank you for this, I do have really supportive friends and I'm glad you get to express yourself 🙃❤
Noah: BOOB
*me, a closeted asexual*: Uh... um... I agree?
Hey Noah! I’m a trans boy and came out to my mum recently. She completely supported me but won’t let me get my hair cut short until I know how to style it correctly 🥲. I wanted to get it cut like yours, but can’t find any videos on how to fix it like that. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk, I’d love if you could help
Well, that depends a lot on your hair. Personally I just need to blow dry my hair, maybe sometimes use some hair wax or whatever. When I got my hair cut short, the hairdresser told me how to maintain it so yea, perhaps seek some professional advice? Idk
@@therainbowziege2317 Alright thanks! I’ve been trying different products but I’ll ask when I get it cut :)
@@Ankorshark Good luck with it
Good for you bisexual is the best I came a year ago at 42 it is a lot easier now then when I was young I'd say I'm more to guys then women. But in my twenties I was more into girls. New subscriber young man
So glad you found yourself!!!
Hiiii (proud of you)
When I first started watching your videos, it was because I wanted to learn about the LGBTQIA+ community (at that point I just thought I was a weirdly passionate ally). Now I'm learning more about myself.
2:35 BRO I AGREE SO MUCH WITH THIS I WAS ALWAYS THE "strong handsome prince going to save his princess" 😭😭😭👏👏👏
Omg thank you for being bi I have never run into a actual bi you tuber yet so thank you (✨I’m bi too✨)
ughhh i wanna move to europe i would kill to see you live
It's understandable. You needed to feel comfortable with yourself first. Sexuality is confusing. Love you Noah, from a 31yr old cis female who is Bi/Ace & never had a relationship. ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Important to note too that sexuality regardless of label can be inclusive of nb people!! Loved your take on this. I've always identified as gay but frustrated that people assume that means I'm strictly attracted to *binary* men
The assumption is probably part of an attempt to de-gay us.
i feel like ur point abt the whole “t changes ur sexuality” myth is a rly good one bc i’ve experienced smth similar without going on t. like before i came out there were points where i would even question if i was just fully a lesbian, but now i very much like guys as well. sometimes u just need to get to a point in your life where you can work your gender out and then you realize something about your sexuality once youre feeling more comfortable with yourself
as an asexual I’m happy for you but I totally can’t understand lolll
happy you’ve become more comfortable with yourself noah!
didn't we already know-? love you noah :)
We did, he's just talking a bit more about it here :)
@@lautaroroldanpizzorno7494 :)
sir ur eyes are too amazing it should be illegal
I've also struggld with my sexuality for a while now and hearing you say you're bi but mostly into men in tose earlier videos was like 'wait you can do that?' which sounds silly but I hadn't thought about it like that before. So thanks for that 💚
Well I am quite confused since half a year cause a friend of mine (who is trans and gay) pointed out that I gave off gay/bi vibes (for several reasons which I guess are partly stupid, but not all of em).
It's nice to hear you talk about it because although I had doubted it, there probably is this bi part in me trying to jump out. It's just such a constant confusion, it doesn't feel like it matters or I would ever come out or something. Whatever
Okay this got way too long lol. This was a random urge to type stuff into the comment section. Little unnecessary but who cares. Also NOAHS EYES look SO PRETTY in this video!!?!!!
You're literally Will Solace
What's funny is that ever since i was like eleven, Everytime i had a crush on a guy it felt gay? And when i liked women it felt straight? Lol.
But the reason ive never been in a relationship is cuz even tho i identify as non-binary transmasc i still look like a cis female irl so knowing someone has a crush on me it feels like they only see me as a girl and that sucks.
I'm glad you figured it out and feel comfortable with your sexuality! I've been questioning mine for like 2 years now, and it's been exhausting. It wasn't until a couple weeks ago that I (finally) talked about it with some LGB friends that they reassured me a lot about it. One of them told me "you don't have to put a label on it" and that has given me so much peace of mind. I used to stress so much about trying to find a label, but ever since I took my friend's words at heart, I feel so much more content with how I feel. I'll keep exploring, and maybe one day I'll have an answer, but I no longer care if I don't. Being "label-less" makes me feel the most comfortable at the moment. We all have different journeys, and that's okay!
This reminds me how my cousin had an easy transition cause he got Brest cancer and was like “well now I have no tits that’s one part of the equation” anyways I found it funny he said that
your eyes look bluer than usual!
wait he said he was bisexual in like all of his "are the straights okay" videos how did you all not catch on 😭