The pastors I grew up with: "Is that thing you're doing/having/watching/wearing/thinking/singing/reading/holding/playing actually sinful and jeapordizing your eternal soul? Better overanalyze that." The same pastors: "Why do you have anxiety? God says you don't need to be anxious about anything."
"STOP BEING ANXIOUS!!!! Okay, now that I yelled at the person having a nervous breakdown let's get back to the list of things you need to be absolutely terrified of..."
Wow, this reminds me so much of my own teenage Christian years (I was Catholic instead of Evangelical Protestant but it's basically the same thing). So much self-doubt and anxiety, so much angst. Being a teenager is tough enough without all the added induced guilt over natural parts of yourself. I often tell people that I left Catholicism the same way I stopped believing in Santa Claus, not because I'm "angry with God" or because of the litany of crimes and abuses in the Church (which are horrifying enough) but simply because I outgrew it, I couldn't deal with the continuous cognitive dissonance and I just felt like I was merely propping up archaic, ancient superstition at my own expense.
Exactly! Being a teen is rough already without heaping on shame for perfectly normal things. I like the framing of “I outgrew it” - that’s how I think about it too. There were things about xtianity that were helpful for where I was as a teen, but I’ve outgrown it and find other things more helpful now.
I also grew up Catholic, but my situation is a little bit different from a lot of people raised in any religion, because my parents always presented religion as an option rather than a certainty. They raised me and my brother Catholic because that was how they were raised, but they always said that nobody knows for sure, and probably no religion has it exactly right. I also think I just outgrew the religion. I still have something of a spiritual side, but I am content not to follow any organized religion anymore.
If only you could find a way to bottle what you've learned, it would change the world. But I know it doesn't work that way. I never was taught the Bible, so I didn't have to go through what you and this channel creator went through. It gives me a sense of hope to see you have found a way to get past the what you learned as a child, and I'm happy for you for whatever worth you can find in the praise of a random stranger on the TH-cam app. Lol, take care 😊, peace 💚
New subbie here and I have been binge watching your videos as I am currently deconstructing from Christianity after being in it for over 30 years. It’s been a long and painful journey but your videos have helped me cope. Thank you for sharing your story.
This Deconstructing fad is one of the dumbest things I have ever seen. Based on what? Why should anyone assume scientists, historians and archaeologists are correct in anything they say about God and the Bible? Most things scientists say are theories and none of us were alive when Bible events took place. You all need to consider that it just might be that the Bible is true and the ones that cannot be trusted are the critics of Christianity. It would be smarter to deconstruct science. I would find this funny if this fad wasn't leading souls to hell.
Christian Deconstruction is the most asinine thing I have come across. There is no reason to believe critics of Christianity when they can't prove their claims or they are floating unproven theories.
This feels timely. I just came out as an agnostic to my parents (they forced the issue), and i tried to explain my struggles with scrupulosity/religious OCD (and the constant feelings of guilt and shame just for being a human being) as a teen. The whole time, my dad was trying to invalidate my experience by trying to suggest I hadn't been a real Christian, so I wasn't *really* rejecting Christianity. While I don't need my parents to approve of my choices in life, it was nonetheless deeply upsetting to feel so incredibly unseen.
Been there with the religious OCD. It's tough and I'm sorry your parents weren't there for you in the ways they should have been. Things have gotten better for me and I hope they can for you too
Thank you so much for sharing that! I burned all my journals about fifteen years ago at the beginning of my deconstruction. Hearing what you wrote was so familiar. I even had the same "life verse" as you. Turns out begging Jesus to take control of my life didn't actually alleviate the symptoms of undiagnosed ADHD.
Right!? Man I didnt have the most outragous denomination, although my parents where SUPER serious about believe. Even though the denomination wasnt that extreme, I still had such an incerdibly hard time talking to my parents about it, I couldnt even start the conversation, it came up one time and my mom kinda had to force it out of me. I cant imagine what it would be like for someone actually in a 'bad' kind of denomination.
I was a very introverted neurodivergent kid as well, and I absolutely could not stomach the idea of getting baptized on stage or having to speak into the microphone. I was 8 or 9 I knew I would be pressured to so soon. So I asked my dad if he could baptize me in the lake, old school like John, haha. I still think that was pretty cool and a good decision. My grandparents drove out and we have pictures and everything.
Aw, Taylor, it was so sad to hear how hard you were on yourself at 15. Especially since when I was 15, I was also super hard on myself. I would regularly cry for hours every night, because I hated myself so, so much. I'm so glad that you don't look at yourself that way anymore (or at least not so harshly). Here's to healing 🍻
@@TonyZagr teenagers do, i didnt have religious trauma but i was bullied at school, i thought i was fine until the person i liked rejected me when i was 16 going on 17, that moment broke me because i realized all the things the bullies said about me must have been true, i felt like a burden to my parents with how pathetic and useless i was. These thoughts made me cry myself every night to sleep, so much i was waking up swollen.
I had a similar experience when I moved, I found a bunch of my old journals from when I went to church and the amount of shame I put on myself for just existing was awful, and explained a lot of my depression and hopelessness. There was a whole lot of begging god to save me from myself and boy does it explain a lot of mental health issues I had. I ended up burning a lot of them as a sort of healing process to all of that.
I felt so much less alone watching this video. I didnt know I was autistic or that I had generalized anxiety disorder until long after I left my family's house. I was homeschooled, and they didn't believe in neurodivvergence or mental illness. I felt such a weight of guilt for everything. I was even made to feel guilty that God didn't take my guilt away when I confessed my sins (very few of which I would call immoral today). I've only recently deconverted, and in some ways, I feel like I'm just now reaching my adolescence at 32 years old. It's been incredibly helpful to hear from others with similar stories, and I want to thank you both for being part of my journey. It's meant more than you likely realize.
The live services my family watches (nsppd nigerian evangelical church) go on and on about how autism is 'being reversed'. They most definetly only think of autistic people who are much higher on the spectrum when talking about autism
@@jojobizarrelivingstone594 Yeah, I've seen that, too. They only believe in the portions of the autism spectrum with the highest level of support needs, because that's almost impossible to deny if you've ever met them. Usually, they're referring to non-verbal autistic people or people with a comorbid intellectual disability, and they use that as an excuse to make insanely insulting claims like "Autism is a form of demon possession" or "Autism is a disease or mental illness that can be 'cured' by the power of God." If I point out how dehumanizing that is, they'll just say, "Well, we're not talking about you because you don't REALLY have autism," which is no less insulting. Of course, the majority of the populous (at least near where I live) doesn't remotely understand understand autism and is therefore insanely ablist anyway, but religious people who believe that God can "fix" us tend to be some of the worst. Edit: Spelling.
@@jojobizarrelivingstone594 Another complicating factor in looking at the subject is that there is such huge overlap between autism and symptoms of CPTSD.
I left years ago, but im agnostic. Not the i don't believe... But until recently when the james web telescope went on 2 years ago. There has been a a lot of radical information from astrophysics, suggesting that what we thought about the universe. Might be relatable to a single constant inside the universe ie (god). We have alot of atheists going to middle ground. We also need to remember that Firstly physics, chemistry and then biology. Come into existence. Not the other way around, where alot of people think.
As an Ex-Mormon I found my journal from my early teen years last year. I bawled my eyes out reading what I wrote. No child should ever feel that way and it made me so sad that I felt that way. But I am pleased to see how self aware I was at that age, she got me to where I am today. I’m proud of her (me)
Stripping of agency is such a huge issue in Christianity, especially evangelicalism, and it’s one of the primary factors that impedes any attempt at self improvement.
I struggled with leaving someone else's home when visiting them before they asked me to. That's because when I did leave the homes of evangelical Christians on a Sunday afternoon, they would get a bit offish with me. Even if I had informed them beforehand that I would have to leave at 3 pm. as I was needed at home to help with a household task. One of my house share duties was to fill the machines at the launderette and empty them again with my laundry and the laundry of my housemates at the weekend. One housemate would drive me there and back. In return, he would drive us to the station to catch the train or bus to work. Or if I left straight after the Bible study ended as I liked to be in bed between 10 and 11 pm when I had work the next day.
I tried keeping a journal as a kid and didn't write in it much or for long. I realized quickly I wouldn't be honest in it for two reasons. First, I realized I didn't have the level of attention and commitment it takes to daily set aside time to write in it. Secondly, and more importantly, I wrote with the forethought that someone else might read it. Thus my journals through the years always tend to be the same. Either banal or waxing poetic and philosophical, and never filling the entire book.
I relate to that lack of agency so much, Taylor. I’m just now learning at 29 what having agency over my life can be like, without being afraid every step that I’m going to displease a God who’s ready to punish me.
I follow Jesus but I am not a Christian and these comments are so sad to me. It’s heartbreaking to see what religion has done to lovely human beings. I relate to this video and some of the comments. It’s so sad that Jesus’ heart has been tainted for CENTURIES. Humanity is beautiful. I believe sin is real but it shouldn’t be portrayed how many of you experienced it and even how I experienced it when I was younger. Sending virtual hugs to all you who were wounded by toxic religion 🫶🏼
Not to disagree, but hope you might be baptised if you haven't. The Bible (Mark 16:16) says he who believes and is baptised shall be saved, he who doesn't believe shall be damned. And Christ was baptised as well, so dot the "i" and cross the "t" to be sure. God bless.
@Thessalin I hope you will read my response with the spirit it is intended. I am not denigrating your position but please allow these viewpoints. Some of the reasons for my belief are not strictly due to biblical passages. The Holy Bible does say that Christ is the only way to heaven. One thing that book contains (if you didn't know) are several hundred prophecies/predictions that were made even hundreds of years before they came true. I'll be brief but there is a prophecy in Ezekiel that spoke of the Israeli's being dispersed for 430 years from their homeland for unbelief/idol worship. The Babylonians conquered them around 607 B.C.; but after 70 years King Cyrus of Medes-Persian empire (who had conquered Babylon) gave them an option of returning, but many of the jews resisted leaving. Because of unbelief and outlined in Leviticus, God multiplied that remaining 360 years X 7, or 2520 more years of dispersion. When you add 2520 years on their ancient 360 day calendar from 538ish B.C., it works out to 1948 on the Gregorian calendar. Do you know when Israel became a nation again under the control of Jewish ppl? 1948. Several other time sensitive prophecies (one about the 69 weeks in Daniel which pinpointed the crucifixion of Christ 400+ years later) are there which require study. The Koran nor any other religious texts have ANY such prophecies that predict specific events in the future that have come to pass. Also I believe Christianity is the true religion because of the so called Torah Code, which was discovered circa 1988 by computers. Experts have found THOUSANDS of "codes" via equidistant skip letter phrases and words that are in close proximity (on same page or two), which spell out events HAPPENING IN THIS GENERATION (9-11, Kennedy assassination, other world events). Never mind that they have been embedded in those Old Testament texts for over 3500 years! Researchers cannot find any such codes in any religious or secular books save for the Hebrew language bible. You'd have to Google Torah Codes or Bible Codes (many on TH-cam too) and read a bit to see what I'm referring to, but even atheistic statisticians have concluded that it is impossible for them to exist out of random chance. I believe some NDE's are legitimate...and many point out experiences that are spoken of in the bible. I recommend Ian McCormmack's testimony as well as Howard Storm's on TH-cam. Also, I'm not Catholic, but look at testimonies on TH-cam of the Fatima Miracle seen by 70,000 ppl in Portugal in 1917. How did their muddy and wet clothes wind up clean and dry after that 10 minute miracle? Go find out! I wish I could share more, but I implore you not to take an attitude of how "exciting" it will be find out who's right or wrong after we die. It is too late to repent or be saved after death, and non-believers will have the worst penalty imaginable to pay if they die without accepting Christ. Conversely, believers will exist in a paradise that we cannot even fathom if we believe, confess or sins, repent, and be baptised. If you will take a little time and search out a few of these things I mention, perhaps you can come to believe as well. But please do not delay that search brother. We are not promised another day in our lives. Bless you for reading my post.
I completely relate, whenever I stumble upon my old journals from when I was Christian, it makes me so sad to see how I was repressing so many parts of myself trying to conform to the “perfect Christian”
19:00 that idea of not having agency is something christians like to affirm with the metaphor that god is our shepard and we are his sheep and without him we are lost and hopeless. A girl at the church my aunt and uncle attend said that and said it was a good thing which i just found baffling.
It's cuz we are magnetized to sin like moth to a flame. It's why everyone I grew up with (no one I know was raised Christian) are all addicted to alcohol, drugs (mostly weed), sex with strangers, the list goes on. And me too before I was saved a few years ago. Humans are so falliable. Yeah I know it hurts the ego to realize that but it's true. You look young but you'll start to notice this as you get a little older, probably within a few years. "Oh man, everyone's destroying themselves..."
@@JoanLPS2 well if we were created by god, then us being fallible and magentized to sin is technically thanks to him which makes him more of a dick. I was raised christian and im not addicted to alcohol, sex with strangers or weed( though weed isnt a destructive drug unlike cocaine or heroine). Im 27 years old and i have been an atheist since i was 18 and i havent become addicted to those things.
@@JoanLPS2 if your god created then us being attracted to sin is his fault. Im also not addicted to alchol or drugs Im 27 dont act like u think u know. me
@@mutalemwananshiku4098 I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to imply that you are addicted to drugs and alcohol. It was just an example. I don't think I know a 27 year old who doesn't struggle with those things, personally, so it is a common issue. But I know not every 27 year old does that. Anyway, we are attracted to sin on purpose, it is true. It is to give us an idea of how far away we are from God, to humble us. To show us that we need him. This earth is fallen because of sin. Greed, pride and lust govern the world. We need to recognize that all of these sins are present within each one of us. After this life time, we will be freed from our bodies. But where will you end up after the great sorting? Are you one of the people who think you could be a good enough person, sinless enough to escape death and hell? Or do you understand that you need God's mercy? You need to humble yourself and worship the God who created you. It's your only chance. I hope I answered your question. I'll sum it up: God created us with sin nature so that we would not be proud enough to think that we could ourselves be better Gods than God himself. He didn't just make us perfect because he created us for the purpose of love. He wants us to choose him. It deepens love to be chosen. He could have just made puppies. But he wanted us. Complex beings with free will, who can choose him, and be grateful to him, love him deeply, have the ability to experience the deepest sorrows so that when we escape it, we are eternally grateful
I found my journal I kept when I was doing missionary work for a year. I cried thinking of that young girl struggling with feelings and emotions that would be considered bad as a Christian. I am so glad I could break free from that!
I identify strongly with the constant shame and guilt I felt as a child, teen, and young adult when I was a "believer." It eventually fed into a long period of clinical depression. Undoubtedly, I was genetically predisposed to depression, but the major contributing factor was a lifetime of shame, guilt, and never feeling like I was a good person. Thanks for sharing your stories.
What you said about not feeling like you have agency over your life as a teenage girl in christianity rings so true to me - I was riddled with anxiety when people talked about following 'god's plan' - i was never very good at finding a way to 'listen to god' that didn't feel like just listening to my own brain (learning that my camp counselor who had a notebook of 'gods words to her' was just lying down and writing whatever popped into her brain disappointed me so badly - i thought for a moment i might've finally found a way to talk to god but it was just your own thoughts again) so I never figured out a method I felt secure in to learn what god wanted for my life, so I was constantly worried about fucking up god's plan for me.. didn't help that all the examples of 'wandering off god's path' we got were like.. people who fell into drug addiction or went to prison. When I deconverted, the most enthralling thing was realizing there was no cosmic plan for me to fuck up - I was in control of what happened to my life and could steer myself by what felt right to me.
Umm... I'm a Christian and I believe I have control over my life. I don't even know if God has a specific plan for me. I'm just trying to be an author.
It's interesting to me to hear such similar language to my own as a JW. We were always told hiw different we were from other churches and how our experience was unique, literally all other churches were false, blah blah blah, but since leaving and listening to other former Christians I've realized how similar we actually were to other groups especially in the kind of laguage and control techniques we used.
I remember how our priest in church was angry at 12 year old me because I didn't know what to confess for. I had to make up sins every time so that he wouldn't call me proud.
A cry for help? Hmm I never thought of it that way. I used to journal that way, and when I reread it recently before Marie Kondoing it out of my life I just thought of it as "this was straight up denial of reality". Kinda like some of Ex Fundie Diaries' journallings, where you're forced into a conclusion that God is great and you need to just keep enduring as "persevering" and "having faith" and talking yourself into feeling better if you can, or gaslighting yourself if you can't and if that still doesn't work taking a weird sick "comfort" in "well if Satan is persecuting me that I have to suffer so much I must be on the right track". Also regarding "what did I do that was so bad" is basically just that shame culture of evangelicalism where thought crimes are a thing... I remember vividly how much of a thing that was for me too!
17:47 Although I feel like I got away lucky in my experience leaving Christianity, I do believe the emphasis on humility and confessing sin in a manner of "I'm not worthy" could be a contributor to the anxiety and depression I still experience to this day. I actually had a similar discussion with a friend of mine (who was ex-Mormon), that she interpreted the idea in the more positive sense of "we're all flawed, but that doesn't stop us from doing better in the future". It's very sad how different upbringings can be the difference between two people taking the concept of "humans being inherently sinful" and interpreting it either as "I'm broken and I'm not worthy" or "we make mistakes and that's okay as long as we work to make up for them". Afterward, the idea of feeling like one doesn't have agency in their life and that they require someone else to lead them is also very relatable to me. I can understand from a Christian perspective why the idea of God/Jesus leading their actions is comforting especially when you come from the mindset of "I'm not worthy, I'm broken", where you feel like if you were left to your own devices you'd mess everything up or get it wrong. In my regular life, I still struggle to make basic, mundane, even unimportant decisions, prefer to be led by somebody else, and am still trying to get over the idea that everything will be bad and unfixable if I make a mistake. Anyway, really great video!
This must have been one of the reasons my mom and several other parents made sure they lead the Sunday school lessons for whatever grades we were in as we aged through the system. We ended up with the same much healthier approach as your friend did.
The feelings of shame and guilt are real. Even after coming out of Christianity for over a year, after 30+ years it has become such an integral part of me, I wish I could get rid of.
Shoutout to all us anxious girlies who relied heavily on that verse you read in the beginning ;) Glad I learned how to appropriately take care of my anxiety now!!
I had a similar experience. I remember as a teen writing in a note-pad about "touching myself" and how I had to stop because it wasn't normal (I'm a woman btw). Now as an almost-30-year-old lady I no longer feel that guilt, but I feel guilt about the most random things that are not in my control. I guess it's live and learn on that aspect 😅
I got baptized 3 different times from the time I was 6-12, because I had horrible guilt anxiety and self harmed. i didn't feel like the last one was enough so I kept doing it because I was stil expereincing these bad things. After 17 years of attending a church that was essentially a cult, and now working through the traumas and hurts i experienced, I'm in a new church now where I do feel more seen and heard. I got baptized again last year because i truly wanted a new relationship with God after meeting my then-boyfriend (soon-to-be husband). Unfortunately I'm falling back again and the guilt is heavy, and I'm falling back into old practices and I'm starting to hate myself again. For those of you that still pray please pray for me.
I don’t really believe in religion or necessarily believe that god answers prayers, but I do still enjoy praying for the soothing feeling that ritual gives my mind. I feel for you and I’m praying for you. Sending good vibes.
I’m sorry to hear about your past experiences, but I’m glad you’ve found a new church where you feel seen and heard. Please be patient and compassionate with yourself! You’re valid and loved here. 💕
Willem from South Africa here. I'm 52, defected from Christianity when I was about 25. Now I'm sort of spiritual, agnostic about whether an actual 'supreme' divinity exists. And I love Flyleaf! Enjoyed your video too.
Further in.... Ugh things hit hard. This whole 'I am a terrible person and I am ONLY a good person worthy of love, acceptance, grace, and beauty if I *admit* am worthless outside of Christ' was the key message when I 'rededicated' myself to the faith after breaking up with my boyfriend. In turn, I ended up falling into Biblical Womanhood, an even more stricter, legalistic, and regressive version of evangelical Purity Culture. So having Purity as my teen years and Biblical Womanhood my early adult years, no wonder why I am traumatised surrounding self love and equality.
God loves you and you don't have to "become better" to go to God, we go to him to become better, and because we are lost without him, and also because He wants us to❤
I always loved Flyleaf! They got me through some tough years. I wish you could get an interview with Stacey Crumb the lead singer of Flyleaf. I'd like to know how it was for her growing up. I'm good friends with her mom! Her mom is very sweet but extremely religious. She's cool because she really knows music and is a sound engineer but she is definitely a person that likes to pray over every little thing that needs to be done. I'd like to hear Stacey's stance.
Hey guys! Thank you so much for all the videos you do. I was wondering if you would ever consider making a video where you talked about how disconcerting it is when you realize your whole foundation is wrong and being confused about life after religion and how you handle that. Love all your videos, they really help!
I’m a Christian universalist so I believe all people will ultimately be reconciled to God. If I could tell you one thing is that you are still truly and deeply loved. ❤
In a weird way, the text on the thumbnail reminds me of my diaries from when I had an eating disorder. I was just so obsessed with losing weight. I kept gaining more cuz the dieting was triggering binge eating. But I did this for years and my diaries were so full of eating disorder thoughts. Idk, maybe this is a weird connection to make but for some reason it made me think of it. 😅
I love your channel so much, and especially these kinds of discussions about how religious upbringing and mental health stuff, etc, overlaps. Safe travels to you and Drew
There are a lot of Christian advertisers on TH-cam. And since this video is likely tagged with things like #religion and #christianity, those ads get stuck to these videos. It really sucks, because people who were harmed by religion who perhaps haven't developed great critical thinking skills end up seeing these advertisements as a "sign", even though it Is just the silly algorithm combined with the disproportionate opportunity given to Christianity.
it's pretty normal to be nostalgic for times you were abused and it's good to acknowledge the "good" parts but it's also important to note that you probably could've learned those things if you weren't in such dire straights, don't underestimate how much it hurts, saying they got osmething right on accident feels like making consessions to me
I used to find so much comfort in Flyleaf songs when I was a kid and teenager. Swept Away is still one of my favorite songs from them. Growing up my family pivoted from going to a big Christian church to doing a small home bible study thing and one of the things we would talk about is how fake some Christians are. At the time, I felt like me and my family had found the secret true belief in God and the Bible and so having a song that validated that there was something rotten in modern Christianity was so impactful to me. I still see the song as an important critique of Christianity even though it still leans into the broken sinner narrative. I think of it as a stepping stone on my years-long deconstruction journey.
btw - what a beautiful man you have found to be your partner! what a great empathic listerner, and how affirming his comments are to you, and to my 16yr old self listening in on this (who also struggled ENORMOUSLY with guilt and shame for making out with my boyfriend); thank you lovley husband!
I can imagine why christian women would feel powerless, since having both Christ as a leader while being less privileged (not only socially, but also in churches) is a sure way to view yourself as a passive entity.
I also experienced that pressure at church as a kid/teen to admit I was a sinner and "broken"... Especially at church camp "cry nights"... But I didn't feel broken?? I definitely did all the things like swearing and sexual exploration with boyfriends and such but I didn't feel bad about it. I was just being a teen. Fortunately my family wasn't *super* churchy so I was able to mostly ignore it and get on with my life but I know many others aren't so lucky :/
It breaks my heart the dysfunctional and toxic nature of so many ideas within church culture that harms people. I am still a believer in Jesus, but I think that that institutional churchianity has so many problems and too many churches have cult-like in thinking. Im trying to expose these problems as well to help people heal and repair their faith. It's so sad when people just trying to love God are shamed over such small things, and feel compelled to give power over to other people to make decisions for them. The authority structure of church and how that is so easily abused is so problematic. Glad you are speaking out on these things.
As someone who is femme and on the asexual scale, purity culture exacerbated my anxiety of how others saw and sexualized my body. It's still something I have to grapple with. Am I really demi or is this just the trauma of purity culture? Deconstruction is hard.
Thanks for sharing a vulnerable moment in your life, Taylor. I appreciate that you are willing to be a beam of education and guidance for deconstruction for some of us. Your channel and Drew’s channel have helped immensely in doing so and in a non-confrontational way with others but most importantly ourselves. 🤍
Honestly your "testimony" is exactly the same as every "qualification" I ever heard in a 12-step room. The misery rephrased in fervent wishes that some God will fix it. Thank you so much for all of (both of) your content.
Its as if I was reading my own old diary. I have been raised in evangelical household too and whenever I read back my journals I just feel so sorry for 14 year old me feeling so ashamed of my sexuality. Back then I used to watch a lot of self help Christian videos like girl defined and other things that would only reinforce my shame. I am 21 year now and I am still trying to figure out what I really believe, I am trying to see which things I still want to hold onto and which things are damaging as I also am a psychology student now. One thing I know for sure is that I will always love God because it is NOT Him who made me feel so ashamed. It is people and my wrong interpretation of Bible. I am until this day following God, yet also deconstructing a lot of my old views. It is a process but I am very proud of myself and proud of the fact I haven't left faith, because Jesus never condemned me. He died for my sins and He loves me and I will hold onto that forever
@TheAntibot I’ve been following your account for months because we have similar backgrounds; I was raised overseas by Christian diplomats. I remember being really active in every church in every country and knowing the missionary’s or pastor’s kids. I’m curious about the times you returned to the US and visited extended family. For me, I struggled understanding the change from international Christianity to the conservatism/American Christian culture that the rest of my family had. Your baptism story inspired me to dig up my own testimony. I remember that I was only 13 and was not sure I wanted to be baptized. All my female cousins were going to be baptized in front of the whole family, so it makes sense just how adult I sound in my laminated testimony card. You mention feeling a loss of agency as a teen, of course with sexuality and becoming a woman. But did ever feel spoken for or thought of as “not American enough” or “too worldly” because of your parent’s job?
You bring up a great point that so much of what we call Christianity in the US is actually white American Conservative Capitalists culture. I was never a fundamentalist and I am still a practicing Christian but part of my practice is intentionally disentangling my culture from scripture. We have Christianized the Old Testament and Americanized the New Testament.
By time I was 16, I’d be fighting the Church- in my puny way- for 10 years. Always hated everything about religion. The good part is, I skipped any kind of emotional attachment to Jesus and the like. I was baptized at one month old. First communion at 9- against my will, I even forged my signature on the “contract”, just in case- and once the rest became voluntary, nothing.
wowww, this video is bringing back all sorts of memories from being raised as a southern baptist christian. my brain blocked out so many of those memories, but they pop back up from time to time, especially when i watch your videos. it’s insane how much your experiences remind me of mine. i left my church during the pandemic, and began deconstructing shortly after. i’m still working through all of the sh!t they filled my head with. i’ve spent my entire life filled with so much guilt, self-hatred, fear, existential dread- the list goes on and on. your videos help so much, thank you :)
it can't have been easy to share something so personal from your past, but i think this is a really important account of the pressures of purity culture and all that entails on young people and you breaking it down piece by piece and approaching it with a healthy mindset is so healing
OMG, did we go to the same churches and not know it? 🤯 I’m just kidding, but your adolescent experience sounds just like mine: feeling guilty just because of normal teen behaviour; taking worship song lyrics out of their intended context; something that’s “your choice” is actually giving into church peer pressure; and “you have no agency.” Man, it feels so good to be free from all of that. Also, thank you for mentioning that there were some good things coming out of the experience, such as “if we mess up, we can pick ourselves back up.” I’m working hard to allow myself to find some good in my experiences in the evangelical church, and this video will really help me! 💖
Only 7 minutes in so far and I had to giggle at Drew saying 'Christianese' because oh gosh I relate to this lol I've always been annoyed by the extremely floral but buzzword language of the religion. It's something, even at my most devout, I simply couldn't do and it's made me QUITE unpopular with people because of it! I always wanted my words to come from the heart, authentically, so I say things that may not 'sound' right but it's right for me. So I could fluently understand *what* you were saying because I've grown up in evangelicalism, I can dissect and hear all the "correct" words you absorbed from theologians around you. It does make me chuckle how we're all spoonfed the belief that to be authentic in Christ you have to..... Read off of a script of pre-approved words to express how you feel o___o
I am so happy to see this, providing a space for people who've seen through christianity's failures. My family went to church though it never worked on me. (I was told by a neighbor I was "gonna go to hell" because I said I didn't think what I was taught in church was true. I was 7 at the time.) Thanks you guys.
The shame and guilt is fundamental to that religion. I remember being a kid (but older than the age of wisdom, aka old enough to go to hell) sitting in church being told to meditate on all those sins and guilt and even if I couldn't think of anything there must Something and even if there wasn't then THAT was the sin. It was weird and terrible and I took it much too much to heart.
I never felt like I had a 'testimony' - one of the many sources of shame/ anxiety and pain of feeling like an imposter, that I felt all through my teen years! I had never 'come/ come back to Jesus' because I'd been xtian all my life, and my testimony, when I tried/ had to give it, sounded so 'lame'!!
@@devidaughter7782 Okay, but the important thing is the way it comes off don't you think ? Some jews use it as well in the midst of comment that denigrate christiannity, so maybe it's better to use the normal word.
Awesome video, guys! Thank you for sharing this, Taylor. It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable and take yourself back to a time when you had so much self-doubt, but giving others a genuine glimpse of who you were and what has changed (and what hasn't - love that you guys discussed how some tenets and principles can be applicable and beneficial in any context) is so inspiring. In general, the authenticity of your videos is so refreshing when a lot of content out there is blatantly contrived and often quite toxic just for the sake of the algorithms.❤ I was hoping to get a better look at your nails though - I have to live vicariously b/c I'm a bowler and I play guitar and piano, so I keep mine short & blank, for practicality (plus I'm too cheap, lol)
i just remembered i have my old devotional journal from when i was like 12 to 16 somewhere in my room… i don’t know if im ready to open that i feel that it’s gonna trigger so much purity culture trauma i have… So many Michael Todd sermons I internalized lol… it’s so weird how distant it all feels now (i’m 21 years old) but somehow the shame still pops up every now and then…
I'm a Christian. I strive to reflect Jesus but it should never be from a place of guilt. That's the whole point of Christianity. To rejoice in what Jesus has done. That was what Luther was refuting when he stopped living as a beggar due to the proverbial Catholic guilt. I'm not saying that a sinful lifestyle is okay or all forms of guilt are bad. Guilt can guide us away from what will eventually hurt us or others but there are nuances.
This letter reminded me of one of the things that made my mind click about the beliefs of my religion. One day, we were read the experience of a sister from either Venezuela or Perú, I can't remember, as part of a sermon about how God still helps us in the worst situations. She had to be taken to the hospital due to extreme anemia because she had been eating only rice twice a day for a long time, she couldn't afford for more. Even so, the woman still said that God had been blessing her because she could eat every day and had a tiny house. I thought that was horrible. A little rice day after day isn't a blessing, she could have died. All I thought after hearing that experience was "do I have to see the bare minimum to survive as a blessing from God?". Like really, going to the people in these situations and saying they're being blessed seems so cruel, so apathetic.
In Italy parents baptize their children a few months after they are born 😅 I was almost an exeption being baptized at 1 yers old I agree with the fact that children should choose whether or not they want to baptized when they're old enough
_"I agree with the fact that children should choose whether or not they want to baptized when they're old enough"_ but this practice comes from a theological perspective that baptism saves and catholics believe this, in order to a baby who dies after birth go to heaven has to be baptized, there is no room to wait and there is no reason for it, you can only have this position if your DONT believe that baptism saves but if you dont believe it you are not part of that denomination practice comes from theology you cannot just randomly change the former
@@fixpontt I know, but that only applies to Catholics apparently. Because Mormons for instance wait until they're 8 before getting baptized, if I'm not wrong. I'm an atheist, I don't really care about the reasons behind baptism in every single religion 🤷🏻♀️ I'm just saying that, coming from a catholic family, I just wish my parents didn't baptize me when I was too small to understand. But it also doesn't really matter now since I got unbaptised years ago 😅
@@alicegaiba you mentioned Italy so i assumed we are talking about catholics including yourself because you said you were baptized at age of 1, but if you are and atheist why dont you say that baptism is unnecessary at all
@@fixpontt of course as an atheist I think baptism is unnecessary but I can also see why a religious person might want to baptise their children. And even among Catholics some parents wait a couple of years before baptising their children, it is rare but it's not unheard of. As long as I know there's no specific rule or verse in the Bible that says when you're supposed to get baptised. From what I gathered it's all about interpretation and tradition. So again, if someone is religious and they wish to baptise their children, I wish they waited until they're old enough to decide for themselves. Which doesn't erase the chance of changing their mind later on (as this video shows) but it's still an improvement from baptising literal newborns.
Being constantly told I wasn't good enough and being scared I wasn't saved caused me to finally give up on religion. I finally ended up feeling that if I was never going to be good enough, there was no point in trying anymore. That started my path to atheism.
So basically the false doctrine of works based salvation caused you to feel anxiety all the time because you had no assurance that you were going to heaven, also the fear of hell made you feel even more anxious, worried and fearful. I was like this too; it led me to believe in atheism. But something felt wrong, I knew there had to be more than life than to exist just to be buried six feet under. Also looking at the evil in this world showed me that there had to be something good there had to be a righteous God. So I decided to go down the Christian rabbit hole again, but this time I found the truth. After I looked through all the denominations of Christianity most of them either backloading works into the gospel or either front loading them, I found one sect of Christianity a very small group that believed no matter what you can do you cannot lose your salvation. The doctrine is called Free Grace. They can prove this doctrine is true by listing all of these verse: “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” Ephesians 2:8~9 “But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness.” Romans 4:5 “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” John 10:28 These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may *know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.* 1 John 5:13 There's 100 plus verses that prove salvation is free and that you don’t need works to get into heaven. I suggest you look into this doctrine and reconsider your atheism. Here’s a link th-cam.com/video/RnbgrFl0S-A/w-d-xo.htmlsi=y7AqYjAlAMcPV9yI
I’ve been checking your channel for a new video every day, so excited to watch this one! You and Drew have done so much for me by helping me process my resentment towards Christianity. Keep up the amazing videos!! :))
I discovered Flyleaf through Die Hard 4.0, bought the two first albums about a year ago and loved them. Wasn't until a bit later that I found out they're a Christian band, and once I knew, a few of the lyrics obviously made more sense.
Thank you for sharing your experience; Ive seen most of what you mentioned. It is so very important to have a supportive group. Thank you for telling of your relationship of peace, and I hope you find that your heart desires in in every good way. It says to not fear 365 times in the Bible. It says as well that God thinks you’re worth dying for. And tho heaven and earth would pass, that word is still all there regardless of your selfishness and sin!! However many there are, you’re as clean as can be if turned toward him!! Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
Mad respect for being able to talk about and then post this. I've been an atheist for just over a year and I can't imagine reading through something like this without cringing so hard and throwing it away without even showing it to my partner. I avoid reading my journal because it brings back so many bad memories.
The pastors I grew up with: "Is that thing you're doing/having/watching/wearing/thinking/singing/reading/holding/playing actually sinful and jeapordizing your eternal soul? Better overanalyze that."
The same pastors: "Why do you have anxiety? God says you don't need to be anxious about anything."
Ugh this is too true :")
"STOP BEING ANXIOUS!!!!
Okay, now that I yelled at the person having a nervous breakdown let's get back to the list of things you need to be absolutely terrified of..."
@@ChristopherSadlowski Good, now I'm anxious about being anxious
And I was also told by a “Biblical Counselor” that anxiety was a sin
Holy shit! Same! Anxiety was seen as not a sin, per se, but a sign of a lack of faith.
Wow, this reminds me so much of my own teenage Christian years (I was Catholic instead of Evangelical Protestant but it's basically the same thing). So much self-doubt and anxiety, so much angst. Being a teenager is tough enough without all the added induced guilt over natural parts of yourself. I often tell people that I left Catholicism the same way I stopped believing in Santa Claus, not because I'm "angry with God" or because of the litany of crimes and abuses in the Church (which are horrifying enough) but simply because I outgrew it, I couldn't deal with the continuous cognitive dissonance and I just felt like I was merely propping up archaic, ancient superstition at my own expense.
Exactly! Being a teen is rough already without heaping on shame for perfectly normal things. I like the framing of “I outgrew it” - that’s how I think about it too. There were things about xtianity that were helpful for where I was as a teen, but I’ve outgrown it and find other things more helpful now.
Wow, yeah, you just said everything I’ve been thinking about religion in recent months.
Just like Dav Beal, you didn't want to feel shitty all the time.
I also grew up Catholic, but my situation is a little bit different from a lot of people raised in any religion, because my parents always presented religion as an option rather than a certainty. They raised me and my brother Catholic because that was how they were raised, but they always said that nobody knows for sure, and probably no religion has it exactly right. I also think I just outgrew the religion. I still have something of a spiritual side, but I am content not to follow any organized religion anymore.
If only you could find a way to bottle what you've learned, it would change the world. But I know it doesn't work that way. I never was taught the Bible, so I didn't have to go through what you and this channel creator went through. It gives me a sense of hope to see you have found a way to get past the what you learned as a child, and I'm happy for you for whatever worth you can find in the praise of a random stranger on the TH-cam app. Lol, take care 😊, peace 💚
New subbie here and I have been binge watching your videos as I am currently deconstructing from
Christianity after being in it for over 30 years. It’s been a long and painful journey but your videos have helped me cope. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing this! Best wishes on your journey 💕
@@parasociallyscripted Thank you for your kind words. 💜
This Deconstructing fad is one of the dumbest things I have ever seen. Based on what? Why should anyone assume scientists, historians and archaeologists are correct in anything they say about God and the Bible? Most things scientists say are theories and none of us were alive when Bible events took place. You all need to consider that it just might be that the Bible is true and the ones that cannot be trusted are the critics of Christianity. It would be smarter to deconstruct science. I would find this funny if this fad wasn't leading souls to hell.
I enjoy their content as well. I also create youtube videos to help people question their beliefs, deconstruct, and find out what they really believe.
Christian Deconstruction is the most asinine thing I have come across. There is no reason to believe critics of Christianity when they can't prove their claims or they are floating unproven theories.
This feels timely. I just came out as an agnostic to my parents (they forced the issue), and i tried to explain my struggles with scrupulosity/religious OCD (and the constant feelings of guilt and shame just for being a human being) as a teen. The whole time, my dad was trying to invalidate my experience by trying to suggest I hadn't been a real Christian, so I wasn't *really* rejecting Christianity. While I don't need my parents to approve of my choices in life, it was nonetheless deeply upsetting to feel so incredibly unseen.
Proud of you, internet stranger. I know from personal experience how painful dealing with your parents’ grief/invalidation is
I get this to an absurd degree, there is no ultimate solution, just stay strong and know that you are valid, that your thoughts are not waste
you are not alone, this is so relatable as an ex-vangelical
Been there with the religious OCD. It's tough and I'm sorry your parents weren't there for you in the ways they should have been. Things have gotten better for me and I hope they can for you too
You don't need to be a Christian to reject Christianity.
Thank you so much for sharing that! I burned all my journals about fifteen years ago at the beginning of my deconstruction. Hearing what you wrote was so familiar. I even had the same "life verse" as you. Turns out begging Jesus to take control of my life didn't actually alleviate the symptoms of undiagnosed ADHD.
I have THE most respect for people who grew up super religious and are able to emancipate from their upbringing.
Love your account 🙌
Right!? Man I didnt have the most outragous denomination, although my parents where SUPER serious about believe.
Even though the denomination wasnt that extreme, I still had such an incerdibly hard time talking to my parents about it, I couldnt even start the conversation, it came up one time and my mom kinda had to force it out of me.
I cant imagine what it would be like for someone actually in a 'bad' kind of denomination.
@@berthus8402 🫶
I was a very introverted neurodivergent kid as well, and I absolutely could not stomach the idea of getting baptized on stage or having to speak into the microphone. I was 8 or 9 I knew I would be pressured to so soon.
So I asked my dad if he could baptize me in the lake, old school like John, haha.
I still think that was pretty cool and a good decision. My grandparents drove out and we have pictures and everything.
thats so cute 😭😭 and lets be honest waaayyy cooler hahaha
Aw, Taylor, it was so sad to hear how hard you were on yourself at 15. Especially since when I was 15, I was also super hard on myself. I would regularly cry for hours every night, because I hated myself so, so much. I'm so glad that you don't look at yourself that way anymore (or at least not so harshly). Here's to healing 🍻
Why did you cry so much? Or why did you hate your self ?
@@TonyZagrI’m guessing you didn’t watch the video
@@TonyZagr teenagers do, i didnt have religious trauma but i was bullied at school, i thought i was fine until the person i liked rejected me when i was 16 going on 17, that moment broke me because i realized all the things the bullies said about me must have been true, i felt like a burden to my parents with how pathetic and useless i was. These thoughts made me cry myself every night to sleep, so much i was waking up swollen.
@mmgs1148 Wow, sorry to hear that. I was also bullied through school. How are things for you now? May I know you're age now m or f?
@@PokemonRules333 I forgot how much I watched
My parents used to read my journal. It’s crazy how they didn’t see how religion damaged me.
I had a similar experience when I moved, I found a bunch of my old journals from when I went to church and the amount of shame I put on myself for just existing was awful, and explained a lot of my depression and hopelessness. There was a whole lot of begging god to save me from myself and boy does it explain a lot of mental health issues I had. I ended up burning a lot of them as a sort of healing process to all of that.
I burned my journals too.
Me too. It was so cathartic so see it all float away on the wind. ❤
I felt so much less alone watching this video. I didnt know I was autistic or that I had generalized anxiety disorder until long after I left my family's house. I was homeschooled, and they didn't believe in neurodivvergence or mental illness. I felt such a weight of guilt for everything. I was even made to feel guilty that God didn't take my guilt away when I confessed my sins (very few of which I would call immoral today). I've only recently deconverted, and in some ways, I feel like I'm just now reaching my adolescence at 32 years old. It's been incredibly helpful to hear from others with similar stories, and I want to thank you both for being part of my journey. It's meant more than you likely realize.
The live services my family watches (nsppd nigerian evangelical church) go on and on about how autism is 'being reversed'. They most definetly only think of autistic people who are much higher on the spectrum when talking about autism
@@jojobizarrelivingstone594 Yeah, I've seen that, too. They only believe in the portions of the autism spectrum with the highest level of support needs, because that's almost impossible to deny if you've ever met them. Usually, they're referring to non-verbal autistic people or people with a comorbid intellectual disability, and they use that as an excuse to make insanely insulting claims like "Autism is a form of demon possession" or "Autism is a disease or mental illness that can be 'cured' by the power of God." If I point out how dehumanizing that is, they'll just say, "Well, we're not talking about you because you don't REALLY have autism," which is no less insulting. Of course, the majority of the populous (at least near where I live) doesn't remotely understand understand autism and is therefore insanely ablist anyway, but religious people who believe that God can "fix" us tend to be some of the worst.
Edit: Spelling.
@@jojobizarrelivingstone594 Another complicating factor in looking at the subject is that there is such huge overlap between autism and symptoms of CPTSD.
You're the greatest couple on TH-cam, thank you for sharing all your work, empathy and knowledge!
Awww thank you! 💕
I’m still a believer but I no longer come under the intense, constant guilt and shame I grew up in. I’m forgiven and His grace covers me ❤
🙏
I left years ago, but im agnostic. Not the i don't believe... But until recently when the james web telescope went on 2 years ago. There has been a a lot of radical information from astrophysics, suggesting that what we thought about the universe. Might be relatable to a single constant inside the universe ie (god). We have alot of atheists going to middle ground. We also need to remember that Firstly physics, chemistry and then biology. Come into existence. Not the other way around, where alot of people think.
Ridiculous and gross.
@@bibleburner8426
Are you trying to shame him/her ?
As an Ex-Mormon I found my journal from my early teen years last year. I bawled my eyes out reading what I wrote. No child should ever feel that way and it made me so sad that I felt that way. But I am pleased to see how self aware I was at that age, she got me to where I am today. I’m proud of her (me)
Stripping of agency is such a huge issue in Christianity, especially evangelicalism, and it’s one of the primary factors that impedes any attempt at self improvement.
I struggled with leaving someone else's home when visiting them before they asked me to. That's because when I did leave the homes of evangelical Christians on a Sunday afternoon, they would get a bit offish with me. Even if I had informed them beforehand that I would have to leave at 3 pm. as I was needed at home to help with a household task.
One of my house share duties was to fill the machines at the launderette and empty them again with my laundry and the laundry of my housemates at the weekend. One housemate would drive me there and back. In return, he would drive us to the station to catch the train or bus to work. Or if I left straight after the Bible study ended as I liked to be in bed between 10 and 11 pm when I had work the next day.
I tried keeping a journal as a kid and didn't write in it much or for long. I realized quickly I wouldn't be honest in it for two reasons. First, I realized I didn't have the level of attention and commitment it takes to daily set aside time to write in it. Secondly, and more importantly, I wrote with the forethought that someone else might read it.
Thus my journals through the years always tend to be the same. Either banal or waxing poetic and philosophical, and never filling the entire book.
I relate to that lack of agency so much, Taylor. I’m just now learning at 29 what having agency over my life can be like, without being afraid every step that I’m going to displease a God who’s ready to punish me.
I follow Jesus but I am not a Christian and these comments are so sad to me.
It’s heartbreaking to see what religion has done to lovely human beings.
I relate to this video and some of the comments.
It’s so sad that Jesus’ heart has been tainted for CENTURIES.
Humanity is beautiful.
I believe sin is real but it shouldn’t be portrayed how many of you experienced it and even how I experienced it when I was younger.
Sending virtual hugs to all you who were wounded by toxic religion 🫶🏼
Not to disagree, but hope you might be baptised if you haven't. The Bible (Mark 16:16) says he who believes and is baptised shall be saved, he who doesn't believe shall be damned. And Christ was baptised as well, so dot the "i" and cross the "t" to be sure.
God bless.
@Thessalin I hope you will read my response with the spirit it is intended. I am not denigrating your position but please allow these viewpoints. Some of the reasons for my belief are not strictly due to biblical passages. The Holy Bible does say that Christ is the only way to heaven. One thing that book contains (if you didn't know) are several hundred prophecies/predictions that were made even hundreds of years before they came true. I'll be brief but there is a prophecy in Ezekiel that spoke of the Israeli's being dispersed for 430 years from their homeland for unbelief/idol worship. The Babylonians conquered them around 607 B.C.; but after 70 years King Cyrus of Medes-Persian empire (who had conquered Babylon) gave them an option of returning, but many of the jews resisted leaving. Because of unbelief and outlined in Leviticus, God multiplied that remaining 360 years X 7, or 2520 more years of dispersion. When you add 2520 years on their ancient 360 day calendar from 538ish B.C., it works out to 1948 on the Gregorian calendar. Do you know when Israel became a nation again under the control of Jewish ppl? 1948. Several other time sensitive prophecies (one about the 69 weeks in Daniel which pinpointed the crucifixion of Christ 400+ years later) are there which require study. The Koran nor any other religious texts have ANY such prophecies that predict specific events in the future that have come to pass.
Also I believe Christianity is the true religion because of the so called Torah Code, which was discovered circa 1988 by computers. Experts have found THOUSANDS of "codes" via equidistant skip letter phrases and words that are in close proximity (on same page or two), which spell out events HAPPENING IN THIS GENERATION (9-11, Kennedy assassination, other world events). Never mind that they have been embedded in those Old Testament texts for over 3500 years! Researchers cannot find any such codes in any religious or secular books save for the Hebrew language bible. You'd have to Google Torah Codes or Bible Codes (many on TH-cam too) and read a bit to see what I'm referring to, but even atheistic statisticians have concluded that it is impossible for them to exist out of random chance.
I believe some NDE's are legitimate...and many point out experiences that are spoken of in the bible. I recommend Ian McCormmack's testimony as well as Howard Storm's on TH-cam.
Also, I'm not Catholic, but look at testimonies on TH-cam of the Fatima Miracle seen by 70,000 ppl in Portugal in 1917. How did their muddy and wet clothes wind up clean and dry after that 10 minute miracle? Go find out!
I wish I could share more, but I implore you not to take an attitude of how "exciting" it will be find out who's right or wrong after we die. It is too late to repent or be saved after death, and non-believers will have the worst penalty imaginable to pay if they die without accepting Christ. Conversely, believers will exist in a paradise that we cannot even fathom if we believe, confess or sins, repent, and be baptised. If you will take a little time and search out a few of these things I mention, perhaps you can come to believe as well. But please do not delay that search brother. We are not promised another day in our lives. Bless you for reading my post.
The Bible verses take me straight back to my Christian days. “Don’t have anxiety…..just pray “
I completely relate, whenever I stumble upon my old journals from when I was Christian, it makes me so sad to see how I was repressing so many parts of myself trying to conform to the “perfect Christian”
19:00 that idea of not having agency is something christians like to affirm with the metaphor that god is our shepard and we are his sheep and without him we are lost and hopeless. A girl at the church my aunt and uncle attend said that and said it was a good thing which i just found baffling.
It's cuz we are magnetized to sin like moth to a flame. It's why everyone I grew up with (no one I know was raised Christian) are all addicted to alcohol, drugs (mostly weed), sex with strangers, the list goes on. And me too before I was saved a few years ago. Humans are so falliable. Yeah I know it hurts the ego to realize that but it's true. You look young but you'll start to notice this as you get a little older, probably within a few years. "Oh man, everyone's destroying themselves..."
@@JoanLPS2 well if we were created by god, then us being fallible and magentized to sin is technically thanks to him which makes him more of a dick.
I was raised christian and im not addicted to alcohol, sex with strangers or weed( though weed isnt a destructive drug unlike cocaine or heroine).
Im 27 years old and i have been an atheist since i was 18 and i havent become addicted to those things.
@@JoanLPS2 if your god created then us being attracted to sin is his fault. Im also not addicted to alchol or drugs
Im 27 dont act like u think u know. me
@@mutalemwananshiku4098 I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to imply that you are addicted to drugs and alcohol. It was just an example. I don't think I know a 27 year old who doesn't struggle with those things, personally, so it is a common issue. But I know not every 27 year old does that. Anyway, we are attracted to sin on purpose, it is true. It is to give us an idea of how far away we are from God, to humble us. To show us that we need him. This earth is fallen because of sin. Greed, pride and lust govern the world. We need to recognize that all of these sins are present within each one of us. After this life time, we will be freed from our bodies. But where will you end up after the great sorting? Are you one of the people who think you could be a good enough person, sinless enough to escape death and hell? Or do you understand that you need God's mercy? You need to humble yourself and worship the God who created you. It's your only chance.
I hope I answered your question. I'll sum it up: God created us with sin nature so that we would not be proud enough to think that we could ourselves be better Gods than God himself. He didn't just make us perfect because he created us for the purpose of love. He wants us to choose him. It deepens love to be chosen. He could have just made puppies. But he wanted us. Complex beings with free will, who can choose him, and be grateful to him, love him deeply, have the ability to experience the deepest sorrows so that when we escape it, we are eternally grateful
I found my journal I kept when I was doing missionary work for a year. I cried thinking of that young girl struggling with feelings and emotions that would be considered bad as a Christian. I am so glad I could break free from that!
I identify strongly with the constant shame and guilt I felt as a child, teen, and young adult when I was a "believer." It eventually fed into a long period of clinical depression. Undoubtedly, I was genetically predisposed to depression, but the major contributing factor was a lifetime of shame, guilt, and never feeling like I was a good person. Thanks for sharing your stories.
Seeing all the ways we dressed ourselves down through our religious experiences is somewhat harrowing looking back on it
my "prayer journal" was mostly me putting myself down and asking god to forgive me. ugh, that's definitely the opposite point of a journal.
What you said about not feeling like you have agency over your life as a teenage girl in christianity rings so true to me - I was riddled with anxiety when people talked about following 'god's plan' - i was never very good at finding a way to 'listen to god' that didn't feel like just listening to my own brain (learning that my camp counselor who had a notebook of 'gods words to her' was just lying down and writing whatever popped into her brain disappointed me so badly - i thought for a moment i might've finally found a way to talk to god but it was just your own thoughts again) so I never figured out a method I felt secure in to learn what god wanted for my life, so I was constantly worried about fucking up god's plan for me.. didn't help that all the examples of 'wandering off god's path' we got were like.. people who fell into drug addiction or went to prison.
When I deconverted, the most enthralling thing was realizing there was no cosmic plan for me to fuck up - I was in control of what happened to my life and could steer myself by what felt right to me.
Umm... I'm a Christian and I believe I have control over my life. I don't even know if God has a specific plan for me. I'm just trying to be an author.
It's interesting to me to hear such similar language to my own as a JW. We were always told hiw different we were from other churches and how our experience was unique, literally all other churches were false, blah blah blah, but since leaving and listening to other former Christians I've realized how similar we actually were to other groups especially in the kind of laguage and control techniques we used.
I look at you looking at Taylor and I see the love in your eyes. More love than her teenage Christian community really had for her.
I remember how our priest in church was angry at 12 year old me because I didn't know what to confess for. I had to make up sins every time so that he wouldn't call me proud.
A cry for help? Hmm I never thought of it that way. I used to journal that way, and when I reread it recently before Marie Kondoing it out of my life I just thought of it as "this was straight up denial of reality". Kinda like some of Ex Fundie Diaries' journallings, where you're forced into a conclusion that God is great and you need to just keep enduring as "persevering" and "having faith" and talking yourself into feeling better if you can, or gaslighting yourself if you can't and if that still doesn't work taking a weird sick "comfort" in "well if Satan is persecuting me that I have to suffer so much I must be on the right track".
Also regarding "what did I do that was so bad" is basically just that shame culture of evangelicalism where thought crimes are a thing... I remember vividly how much of a thing that was for me too!
17:47 Although I feel like I got away lucky in my experience leaving Christianity, I do believe the emphasis on humility and confessing sin in a manner of "I'm not worthy" could be a contributor to the anxiety and depression I still experience to this day. I actually had a similar discussion with a friend of mine (who was ex-Mormon), that she interpreted the idea in the more positive sense of "we're all flawed, but that doesn't stop us from doing better in the future". It's very sad how different upbringings can be the difference between two people taking the concept of "humans being inherently sinful" and interpreting it either as "I'm broken and I'm not worthy" or "we make mistakes and that's okay as long as we work to make up for them".
Afterward, the idea of feeling like one doesn't have agency in their life and that they require someone else to lead them is also very relatable to me. I can understand from a Christian perspective why the idea of God/Jesus leading their actions is comforting especially when you come from the mindset of "I'm not worthy, I'm broken", where you feel like if you were left to your own devices you'd mess everything up or get it wrong. In my regular life, I still struggle to make basic, mundane, even unimportant decisions, prefer to be led by somebody else, and am still trying to get over the idea that everything will be bad and unfixable if I make a mistake.
Anyway, really great video!
This must have been one of the reasons my mom and several other parents made sure they lead the Sunday school lessons for whatever grades we were in as we aged through the system. We ended up with the same much healthier approach as your friend did.
The feelings of shame and guilt are real. Even after coming out of Christianity for over a year, after 30+ years it has become such an integral part of me, I wish I could get rid of.
they brainwash out of the womb because it's so easy to imprint young minds, very difficult to deprogram that. It'll get better
Same here😔
What are you ashame of ?
Shoutout to all us anxious girlies who relied heavily on that verse you read in the beginning ;) Glad I learned how to appropriately take care of my anxiety now!!
I had a similar experience. I remember as a teen writing in a note-pad about "touching myself" and how I had to stop because it wasn't normal (I'm a woman btw). Now as an almost-30-year-old lady I no longer feel that guilt, but I feel guilt about the most random things that are not in my control. I guess it's live and learn on that aspect 😅
I got baptized 3 different times from the time I was 6-12, because I had horrible guilt anxiety and self harmed. i didn't feel like the last one was enough so I kept doing it because I was stil expereincing these bad things. After 17 years of attending a church that was essentially a cult, and now working through the traumas and hurts i experienced, I'm in a new church now where I do feel more seen and heard. I got baptized again last year because i truly wanted a new relationship with God after meeting my then-boyfriend (soon-to-be husband). Unfortunately I'm falling back again and the guilt is heavy, and I'm falling back into old practices and I'm starting to hate myself again.
For those of you that still pray please pray for me.
I don’t really believe in religion or necessarily believe that god answers prayers, but I do still enjoy praying for the soothing feeling that ritual gives my mind. I feel for you and I’m praying for you. Sending good vibes.
Why are you feeling bad, what is it exactly you are feeling bad about?@@mielimedina3146
Praying for you and your journey ❤
I hope you find peace, always examine why you feel guilty. Don't feel guilty if you didn't do anything wrong.
I’m sorry to hear about your past experiences, but I’m glad you’ve found a new church where you feel seen and heard. Please be patient and compassionate with yourself! You’re valid and loved here. 💕
Willem from South Africa here. I'm 52, defected from Christianity when I was about 25. Now I'm sort of spiritual, agnostic about whether an actual 'supreme' divinity exists. And I love Flyleaf! Enjoyed your video too.
Further in.... Ugh things hit hard. This whole 'I am a terrible person and I am ONLY a good person worthy of love, acceptance, grace, and beauty if I *admit* am worthless outside of Christ' was the key message when I 'rededicated' myself to the faith after breaking up with my boyfriend. In turn, I ended up falling into Biblical Womanhood, an even more stricter, legalistic, and regressive version of evangelical Purity Culture. So having Purity as my teen years and Biblical Womanhood my early adult years, no wonder why I am traumatised surrounding self love and equality.
“if you speak really fluent christianese” 😭
This reminds me of flipping through an old bible and finding my church notes from 1987. It was all apologetic nonsense.
God loves you and you don't have to "become better" to go to God, we go to him to become better, and because we are lost without him, and also because He wants us to❤
@@Oitdbem918 Aids and HIV won't be cured from thoughts and prayers hence why we have a lot of fake healers in churches
I always loved Flyleaf! They got me through some tough years. I wish you could get an interview with Stacey Crumb the lead singer of Flyleaf. I'd like to know how it was for her growing up. I'm good friends with her mom! Her mom is very sweet but extremely religious. She's cool because she really knows music and is a sound engineer but she is definitely a person that likes to pray over every little thing that needs to be done. I'd like to hear Stacey's stance.
Hey guys! Thank you so much for all the videos you do. I was wondering if you would ever consider making a video where you talked about how disconcerting it is when you realize your whole foundation is wrong and being confused about life after religion and how you handle that. Love all your videos, they really help!
I’m a Christian universalist so I believe all people will ultimately be reconciled to God. If I could tell you one thing is that you are still truly and deeply loved. ❤
In a weird way, the text on the thumbnail reminds me of my diaries from when I had an eating disorder. I was just so obsessed with losing weight. I kept gaining more cuz the dieting was triggering binge eating. But I did this for years and my diaries were so full of eating disorder thoughts.
Idk, maybe this is a weird connection to make but for some reason it made me think of it. 😅
I love your channel so much, and especially these kinds of discussions about how religious upbringing and mental health stuff, etc, overlaps. Safe travels to you and Drew
Did anyone else see an advert for a Christian prayer app before the video started?
There are a lot of Christian advertisers on TH-cam. And since this video is likely tagged with things like #religion and #christianity, those ads get stuck to these videos.
It really sucks, because people who were harmed by religion who perhaps haven't developed great critical thinking skills end up seeing these advertisements as a "sign", even though it Is just the silly algorithm combined with the disproportionate opportunity given to Christianity.
Lol, yeah! I got Hallow and was like the hell? 😂😂😂😂
Sameeee 😂
i had the same exact switch foot t shirt you’re wearing in the thumbnail lmaoo 😂 Christian sad kid core
This is so cathartic. Thank you for sharing! Very similar to how I felt at that age
it's pretty normal to be nostalgic for times you were abused and it's good to acknowledge the "good" parts but it's also important to note that you probably could've learned those things if you weren't in such dire straights, don't underestimate how much it hurts, saying they got osmething right on accident feels like making consessions to me
I used to find so much comfort in Flyleaf songs when I was a kid and teenager. Swept Away is still one of my favorite songs from them. Growing up my family pivoted from going to a big Christian church to doing a small home bible study thing and one of the things we would talk about is how fake some Christians are. At the time, I felt like me and my family had found the secret true belief in God and the Bible and so having a song that validated that there was something rotten in modern Christianity was so impactful to me.
I still see the song as an important critique of Christianity even though it still leans into the broken sinner narrative. I think of it as a stepping stone on my years-long deconstruction journey.
btw - what a beautiful man you have found to be your partner! what a great empathic listerner, and how affirming his comments are to you, and to my 16yr old self listening in on this (who also struggled ENORMOUSLY with guilt and shame for making out with my boyfriend); thank you lovley husband!
I can imagine why christian women would feel powerless, since having both Christ as a leader while being less privileged (not only socially, but also in churches) is a sure way to view yourself as a passive entity.
Love the batik shirt, Taylor!! PS - I've been to your boarding school, and know people who were there with you, and fully support you xo
It’s actually not batik, but it definitely looks like it! Oh, wow! I’m curious … were you in grades below me or above?
@theantibot omg, it totally looks batik! And I'd rather answer your question privately if that's ok
Of course, no worries! You can DM me on IG @taylor_the_antibot, or email at theantibotyt@gmail.com
WHEW. All of this....hits so close to home. 😢💔
I also experienced that pressure at church as a kid/teen to admit I was a sinner and "broken"... Especially at church camp "cry nights"... But I didn't feel broken?? I definitely did all the things like swearing and sexual exploration with boyfriends and such but I didn't feel bad about it. I was just being a teen. Fortunately my family wasn't *super* churchy so I was able to mostly ignore it and get on with my life but I know many others aren't so lucky :/
This was really nice. You were vulnerable about past you. Compassionate too
ex-Catholic here, we get baptized as babies :'D
The way you support each other in your videos is just 😍😍🥰
It breaks my heart the dysfunctional and toxic nature of so many ideas within church culture that harms people. I am still a believer in Jesus, but I think that that institutional churchianity has so many problems and too many churches have cult-like in thinking. Im trying to expose these problems as well to help people heal and repair their faith. It's so sad when people just trying to love God are shamed over such small things, and feel compelled to give power over to other people to make decisions for them. The authority structure of church and how that is so easily abused is so problematic. Glad you are speaking out on these things.
As someone who is femme and on the asexual scale, purity culture exacerbated my anxiety of how others saw and sexualized my body. It's still something I have to grapple with. Am I really demi or is this just the trauma of purity culture? Deconstruction is hard.
Thanks for sharing a vulnerable moment in your life, Taylor. I appreciate that you are willing to be a beam of education and guidance for deconstruction for some of us. Your channel and Drew’s channel have helped immensely in doing so and in a non-confrontational way with others but most importantly ourselves. 🤍
Honestly your "testimony" is exactly the same as every "qualification" I ever heard in a 12-step room. The misery rephrased in fervent wishes that some God will fix it. Thank you so much for all of (both of) your content.
Ah yes the somehow legal 12 step program
I spy a Nothing is Sound shirt in the thumbnail so at least she had good taste in music 🤷🏻♀️
I was super into Switchfoot back then! I still think Meant to Live is a bop.
@@theantibot Oh, one of their best songs for sure
Its as if I was reading my own old diary. I have been raised in evangelical household too and whenever I read back my journals I just feel so sorry for 14 year old me feeling so ashamed of my sexuality. Back then I used to watch a lot of self help Christian videos like girl defined and other things that would only reinforce my shame. I am 21 year now and I am still trying to figure out what I really believe, I am trying to see which things I still want to hold onto and which things are damaging as I also am a psychology student now. One thing I know for sure is that I will always love God because it is NOT Him who made me feel so ashamed. It is people and my wrong interpretation of Bible. I am until this day following God, yet also deconstructing a lot of my old views. It is a process but I am very proud of myself and proud of the fact I haven't left faith, because Jesus never condemned me. He died for my sins and He loves me and I will hold onto that forever
@TheAntibot I’ve been following your account for months because we have similar backgrounds; I was raised overseas by Christian diplomats. I remember being really active in every church in every country and knowing the missionary’s or pastor’s kids. I’m curious about the times you returned to the US and visited extended family. For me, I struggled understanding the change from international Christianity to the conservatism/American Christian culture that the rest of my family had. Your baptism story inspired me to dig up my own testimony. I remember that I was only 13 and was not sure I wanted to be baptized. All my female cousins were going to be baptized in front of the whole family, so it makes sense just how adult I sound in my laminated testimony card. You mention feeling a loss of agency as a teen, of course with sexuality and becoming a woman. But did ever feel spoken for or thought of as “not American enough” or “too worldly” because of your parent’s job?
You bring up a great point that so much of what we call Christianity in the US is actually white American Conservative Capitalists culture. I was never a fundamentalist and I am still a practicing Christian but part of my practice is intentionally disentangling my culture from scripture. We have Christianized the Old Testament and Americanized the New Testament.
3:21 I still love "All Around Me"! It's sorta what I call a "Jesus is my boyfriend" song! 🤣
By time I was 16, I’d be fighting the Church- in my puny way- for 10 years. Always hated everything about religion. The good part is, I skipped any kind of emotional attachment to Jesus and the like.
I was baptized at one month old. First communion at 9- against my will, I even forged my signature on the “contract”, just in case- and once the rest became voluntary, nothing.
wowww, this video is bringing back all sorts of memories from being raised as a southern baptist christian. my brain blocked out so many of those memories, but they pop back up from time to time, especially when i watch your videos. it’s insane how much your experiences remind me of mine.
i left my church during the pandemic, and began deconstructing shortly after. i’m still working through all of the sh!t they filled my head with. i’ve spent my entire life filled with so much guilt, self-hatred, fear, existential dread- the list goes on and on. your videos help so much, thank you :)
it can't have been easy to share something so personal from your past, but i think this is a really important account of the pressures of purity culture and all that entails on young people and you breaking it down piece by piece and approaching it with a healthy mindset is so healing
I'm not in the nuance stage yet. I'm in the I'm pissed stage still.
I love how you're learning about each other thru these conversations
I still own that flyleaf cd, and swept away was one of my favorite songs, and i stillllll looove it, even after deconstruction lol
OMG, did we go to the same churches and not know it? 🤯
I’m just kidding, but your adolescent experience sounds just like mine: feeling guilty just because of normal teen behaviour; taking worship song lyrics out of their intended context; something that’s “your choice” is actually giving into church peer pressure; and “you have no agency.” Man, it feels so good to be free from all of that.
Also, thank you for mentioning that there were some good things coming out of the experience, such as “if we mess up, we can pick ourselves back up.” I’m working hard to allow myself to find some good in my experiences in the evangelical church, and this video will really help me! 💖
Only 7 minutes in so far and I had to giggle at Drew saying 'Christianese' because oh gosh I relate to this lol I've always been annoyed by the extremely floral but buzzword language of the religion. It's something, even at my most devout, I simply couldn't do and it's made me QUITE unpopular with people because of it! I always wanted my words to come from the heart, authentically, so I say things that may not 'sound' right but it's right for me. So I could fluently understand *what* you were saying because I've grown up in evangelicalism, I can dissect and hear all the "correct" words you absorbed from theologians around you. It does make me chuckle how we're all spoonfed the belief that to be authentic in Christ you have to..... Read off of a script of pre-approved words to express how you feel o___o
I am so happy to see this, providing a space for people who've seen through christianity's failures. My family went to church though it never worked on me. (I was told by a neighbor I was "gonna go to hell" because I said I didn't think what I was taught in church was true. I was 7 at the time.) Thanks you guys.
I did and STILL got told by my own family that I was going to hell. They treated me like I was the very devil.
The shame and guilt is fundamental to that religion. I remember being a kid (but older than the age of wisdom, aka old enough to go to hell) sitting in church being told to meditate on all those sins and guilt and even if I couldn't think of anything there must Something and even if there wasn't then THAT was the sin. It was weird and terrible and I took it much too much to heart.
I never felt like I had a 'testimony' - one of the many sources of shame/ anxiety and pain of feeling like an imposter, that I felt all through my teen years! I had never 'come/ come back to Jesus' because I'd been xtian all my life, and my testimony, when I tried/ had to give it, sounded so 'lame'!!
Why do you use an "x" instead of righting the word "Christian" ?
@@dodleymortune8422 x was a symbol for christ in the early xtian church- so it is not an insult- just shorthand! thanks for asking!
@@devidaughter7782
Okay, but the important thing is the way it comes off don't you think ?
Some jews use it as well in the midst of comment that denigrate christiannity, so maybe it's better to use the normal word.
Awesome video, guys! Thank you for sharing this, Taylor. It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable and take yourself back to a time when you had so much self-doubt, but giving others a genuine glimpse of who you were and what has changed (and what hasn't - love that you guys discussed how some tenets and principles can be applicable and beneficial in any context) is so inspiring. In general, the authenticity of your videos is so refreshing when a lot of content out there is blatantly contrived and often quite toxic just for the sake of the algorithms.❤
I was hoping to get a better look at your nails though - I have to live vicariously b/c I'm a bowler and I play guitar and piano, so I keep mine short & blank, for practicality (plus I'm too cheap, lol)
flyleaf and jars of clay nailed being christian bands that are actually good
what do you think of Creed? I know they are a divider of people 🤭
@@ennuiblue4295 I personally don't care for Creed but they definitely dodge the "christian music is bad" allegation
switchfoot is alright, and the 2 ex christian bands underoath and tdwp are geniunely great i think
oh yeah and as i lay dying is ok
@@ennuiblue4295while i think scott stapp is?, creed is secular
Everything in this hit the mark: the guilt, the shame, the external forces you want to "fix you". Thank you for sharing.
i just remembered i have my old devotional journal from when i was like 12 to 16 somewhere in my room… i don’t know if im ready to open that i feel that it’s gonna trigger so much purity culture trauma i have… So many Michael Todd sermons I internalized lol… it’s so weird how distant it all feels now (i’m 21 years old) but somehow the shame still pops up every now and then…
School is where I learned that other people didn't love me. I went from home where I was loved to school where I was tolerated(at best)
Yay!!! Another antibot video!! Great way to spend my lunch break 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘 love you 2!!
I'm a Christian. I strive to reflect Jesus but it should never be from a place of guilt. That's the whole point of Christianity. To rejoice in what Jesus has done. That was what Luther was refuting when he stopped living as a beggar due to the proverbial Catholic guilt. I'm not saying that a sinful lifestyle is okay or all forms of guilt are bad. Guilt can guide us away from what will eventually hurt us or others but there are nuances.
This letter reminded me of one of the things that made my mind click about the beliefs of my religion.
One day, we were read the experience of a sister from either Venezuela or Perú, I can't remember, as part of a sermon about how God still helps us in the worst situations.
She had to be taken to the hospital due to extreme anemia because she had been eating only rice twice a day for a long time, she couldn't afford for more. Even so, the woman still said that God had been blessing her because she could eat every day and had a tiny house.
I thought that was horrible. A little rice day after day isn't a blessing, she could have died. All I thought after hearing that experience was "do I have to see the bare minimum to survive as a blessing from God?". Like really, going to the people in these situations and saying they're being blessed seems so cruel, so apathetic.
I was baptized as an infant
Same. No choice in the matter. And the ones doing that are the people complaining about liberals indoctrinating their children 😂
In Italy parents baptize their children a few months after they are born 😅 I was almost an exeption being baptized at 1 yers old
I agree with the fact that children should choose whether or not they want to baptized when they're old enough
_"I agree with the fact that children should choose whether or not they want to baptized when they're old enough"_
but this practice comes from a theological perspective that baptism saves and catholics believe this, in order to a baby who dies after birth go to heaven has to be baptized, there is no room to wait and there is no reason for it, you can only have this position if your DONT believe that baptism saves but if you dont believe it you are not part of that denomination
practice comes from theology you cannot just randomly change the former
@@fixpontt I know, but that only applies to Catholics apparently. Because Mormons for instance wait until they're 8 before getting baptized, if I'm not wrong.
I'm an atheist, I don't really care about the reasons behind baptism in every single religion 🤷🏻♀️
I'm just saying that, coming from a catholic family, I just wish my parents didn't baptize me when I was too small to understand.
But it also doesn't really matter now since I got unbaptised years ago 😅
@@alicegaiba you mentioned Italy so i assumed we are talking about catholics including yourself because you said you were baptized at age of 1, but if you are and atheist why dont you say that baptism is unnecessary at all
@@fixpontt of course as an atheist I think baptism is unnecessary but I can also see why a religious person might want to baptise their children. And even among Catholics some parents wait a couple of years before baptising their children, it is rare but it's not unheard of.
As long as I know there's no specific rule or verse in the Bible that says when you're supposed to get baptised. From what I gathered it's all about interpretation and tradition. So again, if someone is religious and they wish to baptise their children, I wish they waited until they're old enough to decide for themselves. Which doesn't erase the chance of changing their mind later on (as this video shows) but it's still an improvement from baptising literal newborns.
THANK YOU FOR POSTING
Being constantly told I wasn't good enough and being scared I wasn't saved caused me to finally give up on religion. I finally ended up feeling that if I was never going to be good enough, there was no point in trying anymore. That started my path to atheism.
So basically the false doctrine of works based salvation caused you to feel anxiety all the time because you had no assurance that you were going to heaven, also the fear of hell made you feel even more anxious, worried and fearful. I was like this too; it led me to believe in atheism. But something felt wrong, I knew there had to be more than life than to exist just to be buried six feet under. Also looking at the evil in this world showed me that there had to be something good there had to be a righteous God.
So I decided to go down the Christian rabbit hole again, but this time I found the truth. After I looked through all the denominations of Christianity most of them either backloading works into the gospel or either front loading them, I found one sect of Christianity a very small group that believed no matter what you can do you cannot lose your salvation. The doctrine is called Free Grace. They can prove this doctrine is true by listing all of these verse:
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” Ephesians 2:8~9
“But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness.” Romans 4:5
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” John 10:28
These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may *know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.* 1 John 5:13
There's 100 plus verses that prove salvation is free and that you don’t need works to get into heaven. I suggest you look into this doctrine and reconsider your atheism.
Here’s a link th-cam.com/video/RnbgrFl0S-A/w-d-xo.htmlsi=y7AqYjAlAMcPV9yI
I’ve been checking your channel for a new video every day, so excited to watch this one! You and Drew have done so much for me by helping me process my resentment towards Christianity. Keep up the amazing videos!! :))
Flyleaf really does rock and more people should be listening to them.
4:40 I believe that's called shutting down... but in christian phrasing.
I discovered Flyleaf through Die Hard 4.0, bought the two first albums about a year ago and loved them. Wasn't until a bit later that I found out they're a Christian band, and once I knew, a few of the lyrics obviously made more sense.
This was a great video. Thanks for sharing!
Here in italy most people are catholics; children get baptized when they are a few months old.
One month old here. Portuguese person.
66.6k subs.🐈⬛🖤 just noticed
Thank you for sharing your experience; Ive seen most of what you mentioned. It is so very important to have a supportive group. Thank you for telling of your relationship of peace, and I hope you find that your heart desires in in every good way. It says to not fear 365 times in the Bible. It says as well that God thinks you’re worth dying for. And tho heaven and earth would pass, that word is still all there regardless of your selfishness and sin!! However many there are, you’re as clean as can be if turned toward him!!
Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
Mad respect for being able to talk about and then post this. I've been an atheist for just over a year and I can't imagine reading through something like this without cringing so hard and throwing it away without even showing it to my partner. I avoid reading my journal because it brings back so many bad memories.
hearing that you had to write out a testimony is interesting because i was baptized so young i was still learning the alphabet lol
66.6k subs metal as fuck
Keep subbing though