Why Giving is Better than Porn: David Erasmus at TEDxBrighton
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 พ.ย. 2012
- Concerned that the porn industry has tapped into our culture of instant gratification through embracing digital technology, Erasmus suggests that the giving sector could learn a thing or two and in doing so, help change people's experience of giving.
In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)
It's awesome seeing Matt Damon getting his shit together
Matt Damon and Alan Tudyks love child.
I'm a 24 year old guy who's been hooked (i.e. addicted) to porn for about half of my life. I've never talked to a girl/woman (in the romantic sense, i.e. flirting etc.) and my life is pretty much going nowhere (coping with suicidal thoughts). But one thing I have come (or rather am coming) to aknowledge is how much I fucking hate porn, deep inside I mean. I am now realising how addicted I am and how numb it makes me not only towards women but people in general. I feel like a dead body simply waiting to rot away....
bigfriki hey man, remember it isn't over because people love you. Begin to meditate :) give it a try and consider exercise regularly? A run or yoga which will put you into the present and away from the ego mind which makes us think about porn drink etc. And what meditation will do is rewire your brain and even use mantras or sayings like 'I love myself and porn isn't in my ego', I was sceptical but then I realised how powerful the subconscious mind is (read about it) :) have a good evening. Be love and give love, peace and good luck :)
Thanks for the kind words. I don't know whether it's over or not, honestly. The problem right now is simply that there is nobody who loves me and I don't know why anybody should either. I'm not blaming anyone (well, maybe myself) or demanding love from anyone... as you say, to get love one must give love both to others and to himself. So I guess that is my first step to follow: to bring love and positivity to my life and to other's lifes. I'll try meditation, any good website or video you'd recommend for starters? Thanks and cheers.
bigfriki there are guided meditations but honestly do research on the '7 chakras in the body' it might seem a bit 'woo woo' but it completely changed me emotionally in terms of how I react to situations and to things like porn and alcohol and all the belief systems in society. Otherwise just make sure when you meditate to close your eyes focus on your breath. Yoga also helps with this as it relaxes your whole body and keeps you in the present :) also go out in nature for walks it is great for our mind. Maybe reduce red meat consumption? And eat healthily unless you already do that had a huge impact on depression for me and just eating lots of fruit and veg. It is always talked about to get 5 a day but it does so much mentally and physically
bigfriki last one though is after you meditate where you observe thoughts by keeping focus on the breath is that you will realise YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS because they pass by like clouds and you can become aware of what you are thinking and change it like I and many people have done through just this practice :)
Awesome, thanks. I'm already a vegan though I could eat more fruits and vegs. Gonna re-try meditation.
Loved this talk! Porn is shallow; doesn't give us the real connection we need with other people.
Men who watch porn arent looking for an emotional connection.
women are shallow, they get emotional connection and the guy can often just be left wanting. I wanted connection with women and never got it. So porn is the only substitute. poor substitute as it is, there is nothing else.
Exactly especially when it's not ameture stuff.
The big question is will that business ever go down?? It should cause it's fake,especially if it's not ameture stuff. Women are very good at faking it.
Moneca Savoie xxx
I'm deeply moved by this speech because I can understand the generational fallacy that's occurring as the result of our relationship to these windows. Porn is an easy, accessible satisfaction where as "Giving," as Dave puts it, requires a much more committed, long term relationship to social media online. It's like the difference between getting you dopamine from cigarettes or exercise. Smoking gives you an immediate release & rush of satisfaction, where as exercise requires you to challenge yourself physically. Porn takes no effort to enjoy, after a time becomes less unenjoyable, and doesn't challenge you to build relationships with other, real human beings. "Giving," on the other hand, whether it be an idea, a video, a statement, etc.. is a much more complicated, challenging, and ultimately satisfying way to spend your intimate internet hours. I do hope my generation can begin to comprehend this so more people can get better at giving.
True, that.
Which generation are you of ?
I'm of Millennial (1990.) TBA.
Ive been in the struggle for a while too, to which I realize everyone else I grew up with is in it as well and I miss the real connection of friendship we all had growing up,
Now replaced with a synthetic one.
Or bonding time through alcohol.
Which most often turns into an unhealthy excessive amount.
I've been contemplating putting on big Cookouts/Bbq's. Gathering the team together to go hunt together creating more bonding time without the alcohol. Or something along those lines, cause these days we live in a world with short attention spans and we get bored/frustrated very quickly.
P.s. No offense to any vegans out there.
Very true 💯
Yeah but where do you find this giving
Autocorrect is my worst enema. Enemy.
Thank you! The world needs more men like you!
I believe porn makes sex about what you can get instead of about love and commitment. I think it paints a distorted picture of what sex is in which women's purpose is to satisfy a man and they are completely objectified. I believe porn educates children into thinking this is the norm and this is how it should be. I think that's pretty dark.
Y and it creats rtd fetshes like riming and ...
@@uroskomnenovic4180 What is wrong with rimming, if the people involved enjoy it?
Nice an great talk! Our dependency to internet is indeed very interesting. However, the solution is simple 1/ drop your phone when not needed and learn to live alone for a while, 2/ before buying anything, ask if you really need it otherwise save the money or give it to charity.
Classic thing is everyone who is pro porn you never hear saying anything intelligent to support why. Its all childish crude comments. yet everyone who is anti poor actually sounds like a decent human being and wanting to become a better one. That has to tell you something.
Robert Willis, source please^
That comment tells me you are biggot.
Robert Willis source please
Instant gratification type stuff rarely has sound arguments. What's the logical rationale for eating 5 pieces of cake? Fighting natural urges is, hard.
Brilliant talk, really enjoyed it. I think you put the message across in a captivating way.
One of the best videos on this subject. Thank you!
Very good talk and words to reflect on. Thanks
agreed... and it's very hard to find a man who can see through it, you guys a rare but awesome
I like your quote at 4:00, very deep.
I should frame it.
The problem with porn is that it runs all energy to ground. It is just too damn easy.
The ending of the speech is also good.
Where are the people that think like him? Those are my people.
Great message David. I really liked the way you drew attention to the all powerful smartphone, how it saps our deepest urges to connect with people even though we constantly chat with them. Quite interesting that people who with-stain from internet porn and 'self service', the first benefit usually are greater social interaction experienced. The quick fixes in life has never been so mainstream in all of history
Thank you for this speech. You helped understand something I'm struggling with. God bless you!
wow! you really are so articulate & so spot on.
Thank you
Beautiful mind , beautiful man .
One of the best videos I've ever seen on youtube
this needs more views
Communication devices make us disconnect from the real world and leaves us somewhere else we never thought of. Let's limit our communication with phones.
Joe Jeyaseelan..... You are right. Smartphones are a curse to mankind. No one really socialize anymore. No one wants to interact with others anymore. Everyone is on their phones.
Exactly
@@edward8717 mainly because of TEXTING (:
@@patriciax3677 yes i use my phone to comunicat and ask or give advice then close it then back to work :) that what i was Doing
Ok boomers
Weird question: What's with the half-chairs?
I can only give you half an answer.
Hmmm....I would say, art created on the one ever present object in all auditorioms: seats. :)
On the fence?
Half dead people.
I imagine just as many, if not more, people who watch porn would give if giving was free like porn is.
One time I accidentally sent a text to my buddy saying “wanna bang?” instead of “wanna hang?”
That was almost terrifying
hehehe yup ok wanna hang is disturbing too, i thought you meant comitting noose.
Heh heh heh🤣
That was ALMOST terrifying??? Please explain
very inspiring!
Ignore the hate mate. It was a great presentation!
i don't quite understand what he means by giving. does it have to do with charity, business exchange, or just unselfishness? great talk nevertheless
Anything honorable and persevering
Thank you..
Thank you.
Where does it lead you? Where does it leave you?
What if we made the giving experience personal, like you give to certain people and they arrange for you to talk to those people before and after the contribution and learn how your help changed their lives.
Where does it lead you and Where does it leave you .,......😍
and it is unreasonable from a psychological standpoint... in this society it is "acceptable" at large but conformation is no virtue in a perverse culture.. perverse meaning to take to unhealthy extremes.. I hold my mind precious as well as my body , and I expect my lover to be devoted mind body and spirit or else love itself becomes corrupt and perverse.. japan has stopped dating for the most part, instead turning to artificial stimulation over actual relationships..
wait.. his name is ben dover? like BenD over? :D
Great!
Wow!
Many people are willing to give but have no one willing to take because they take issue with some insignificant thing about the giver like their nose or height or chest size and many others. It can be rough out there.
yep... he told me he didn't watch it and to trust him
Love it
what mean giving in this context ?
I relapsed last night. . :(
Everyday is a new beginning.
Are you done now
INIVITIVE!!!!
Wait a minute, Ben... Dover.... Bend over... the name alone makes way too much sense.
Magnificent!
Why loving is better than kids. See I can do that too.
nothing new, but love is not a choice, more a mathematical encounter that leaves us breathless, sex is what gives a spike of bliss and we want more, second best are drugs and alcocol... but still it is better to be a person who has sex that an abstinent always waiting for the right person to come along!
good
Addiction > compulsion
please tell me why you think that Hannes.
Weak point? Poorly delivered? You disagree?
What is giving
Giving what though? And why give only what about receiving
Honest question: why not do both?
The givers don't live online, out in the woods living life
hellothis is a comment in the present
Ben Dover looks like Vladimir Putin lol
Bend Over
Ben d Over
Ben Dover
Giving what?
Google is to blame lol
Catchy title but little content and lack of depth. To say that porn satisfies the "darker part of our souls" is plain incorrect. Heard of dopamine? You are a fantastic speaker though, and have excellent presentation skills. Bring us better content in the future!
Omg.
Porn is addictive to some people I guess. That's it. Really. It's one thing to be involved with someone you're not really into, 'settling for', and that's just not satisfying,… and it's another to be intimate with someone you're really 'into'. My take is if I'm not really into someone, I'm typically not going to be intimate with them. And of course I'm looking for a 'right' connection. Basic plain porn is just a substitute, just as are various sex toys which many woman are well known to use. Same sort of deal,… and porn is visual. Nothing kinky or demeaning per se,… except if you choose that.
Anyone addicted to findom here?
His name is Bend Over? xDD
thanks, just caught another bf watching porn behind my back, will it ever end... im so tired of being lied to
?
Lol Yeah unintended inuedo! Promise!
..matt damon? lol
Ben Dover? Really? :|
No wonder her username is tinabitch...
Yang pilih allah like.
Your wrong
"The darkest parts of our souls"
Please.
I'm a scientist, and an expert on addiction. There's no need for that sort of talk.
What about that bothers you?
>I'm a scientist
k
if you want God to forgive you dont commet here just go to the church and pray.
Omg.
Omg.