I used to be a telemarketer. 1 -- Everything he says about what it's like to be the telemarketer is 100% true. 2 -- I relished calls like that. Anything to break the tedium.
Fall of '04, it was my first term in college, and I was hawking magazine subscriptions. The people we called were fun, but the co-workers; well... I'm gonna get stories from that for the rest of my life.
Rollins is right. I had to do that job once. Judge me if you will but I like having food in my mouth. I had an automated machine that dialed numbers for me. Cause the truth is after ONE horrible phone call in a job where I can only apologize and continue, you don't want to dial the number for a while yet BLEEP the machine has already called another poor souls home. 6 rubbish calls in a minute. 60 minutes in an hour. 5 minutes in and I want to jump off a cliff yet there is 1 hour and 55 minutes til next break. But every now and then you get that elusive person who is hilarious. If you act like Rollins towards one of those telemarketers. You would have made their day so much more interesting.
Where I live, if you are on a Do Not Call List and they call you anyway, they get fined thousands of dollars per call. Not sure how it works in America, but I have found that when I say "I am on the do not call list, and I will be reporting this call to them as soon as I hang up", they cannot terminate the call quickly enough.
Yeah, but if you end up on a list sometime, merely because you made one inquiry, you start losing a nice attitude about it. 6 years ago, I once did like 15 minutes of online investigating, pricing insurance for whatever, and ended up on a list, and received calls ever since. There is no blocking it, because the list is one, obviously, sold to whomever, whenever, and the incoming number is never the same. It's nothing short of harassment, and the 'marketer' is collateral damage. But face it, strange incoming calls with only cold call sales involved is low rung, shite. Unwanted,unsolicited noise. That's the way it is. Nobody wants to shake the porter's hand.
I remember when Henry started his spoken word shows, people were like "what a Henry Rollins show with no music? WTF?" He would play the smallest venues and they would be nearly empty. Never would imagine he would pack theaters this size with his stories.
I worked as a telemarketer for a month one time. It was horrible. I was making outbound calls to the public selling them raffle tickets for the RSPCA. As bad as the job was I got one guy who was so hilarious. I asked him if he had any pets, and he was like “No but my wife is an animal in bed”. So if you get a call from a telemarketer, don’t be mean to them or anything, but just mess with them a bit in a good way. Trust me, as long as they have a sense of humour they will find it hilarious. Like this guy does. If I called a person like that I would find it hilarious.
Yep, done that job; cold calling sales. I can say; we LOVE calls like this. People screwing about with us and having a good time really breaks up the soul crushing mundaneness that is working in a call centre.
@@chrispile3878 Ppl that have to take such jobs have already enough in their plates, maybe it's just me, but it's not cool to beat an already dead horse. Want to change things? ask for a legislative change regarding cold calling.
@@MalakianM2S It's already illegal in most states, and yet they call anyway. The persons in charge of the operation (not the callers) should be hunted down, killed, and fed to wild animals. What they do is literal harassment and fraud on a massive scale.
another hilarious way to mess with scam callers is when they ask for your phone number or address: give them the address or phone number of your local police or sheriff's department. or if you REALLY wanna mess with them....the phone number or address of your nearest FBI agency.
I lasted one day in telemarketing. Was selling "AAA Limited" to Melbourne companies so they were the first company alphabetically in that category in the Yellow Pages.
I am never mean to telemarketers and cold callers because I know their job is much harder than mine and that's even if what they're doing is illegal -- my phone identifies them as fraud or marketing before I even answer it, anyway, and the first call is more likely to be from a computer these days.
I had one of those scam telemarketers call one time pretending to be Microsoft Tech Support, saying they wanted to do a remote takeover of my computer to resolve some malware issues I was having. I kept them on the line and talking while I pulled up Projekt Misanthropia -- an "experimental" album consisting of screaming mental patients and industrial machine noise -- and I put the phone on speaker, set it front of my computer speaker, and blasted the guy with it. He called back a few minutes later cussing me out. I just laughed hysterically.
I do not know what the US equivalent is, but in Asstralia, they have what they call the Do Not Call List. You add your name to it, and if telemarketers call you ever again from thirty days after you register, they get fined up the wazoo. I put myself on the list last year and I have not heard a peep out of them since. I cannot say enough nice things about the people who maintain the Do Not Call List. It is like they know that when you purchase a service and product like a phone, be it landline or mobile, you are the one who ought to have discretion over how you use it. Imagine that.
We have it but it means nothing. And like 90% "telemarketing" calls we receive nowadays are indian tech support scammers that really want Itunes gift cards for some reason.
aspie182 I worked in an Australian outbound call centre and almost all of the people I called claimed to have been put on the do not call list before. The list is real and you have to put people on it if they ask you to, but it still gets ignored.
Did you know that Sofia is the capital of Bulgaria? What's even more outstanding is their national flag, which is 3 horizontal stripes that have the following colors: white, red and green. In 1912 Bulgaria took part in the First Balkan War in which a coalition formed between Bulgaria, Serbia, Montenegro and Greece fought the Ottoman Empire for territorial gains and the independence of, the then non-existent, Free State of Albania. However Bulgaria was dissatisfied with its territorial gains and
Tried to do the job once....lasted til first break. I can't figure out some people....after my dad died, they'd call, ask for him, and not even pause a second when told he was dead. "Well, then, you'll be interested in this offer...." Unbelievable! I should have done the Henry thing, lmao. Maybe that would've shut 'em up.
Act excited , interested and ask them to hold so you can get your wallet then put the phone down and walk away. My record is around 15 minutes with the tele/Indian guy still holding.
I was a telemarketer for the local newspaper for a total of two days; let go because I didn't garner enough subscriptions. Then forgot my experience with that and went into the other direction; 'customer management' (inbound troubleshooting/billing/etc) for a total of five years with two different companies. Ugh. The work wasn't too bad, but the callers wanted A, the client company wanted B and the call center company wanted C, and I just had to quit due to a pending ulcer.
Retook an offensive, this time against its previous Balkan allies for more territorial gains, namely Macedonia and a strip of Greece which was mainly inhabited by Bulgarians. However the Ottoman Empire re-entered the war, this time on the side of the Balkan league and even the Kingdom of Romania, which had untill then remained neutral, entered the war for its possible territorial gains. On these grounds Bulgaria was defeated and the Kingdom of Romania took the province of the Cardilater and then
My favourite answer to telemarketers were: "Sorry, I cannot possibly do womething with your magazine (or whatever stuff they're selling), I'm deaf-blind, sorry." Or what works too: "Sorry, I have to begin a very long prison sentence on monday, maybe you could call me back in seven to ten years (insert nervous giggle, but stay absolutely serious the same time)"
Great technique. Once a young lady called from across the country to sell me something. So I asked her, "Where do you live? What time do you get off work? I'm coming over!" She started to sound scared, and I never heard from her again. Another time I got a call from a young woman in India. By the time I got thru with her, she wanted me to come to India so she could meet me. Can you hear the wedding bells chime?
I did telemarketing for a week when l was a teenager. I think it was my first job ever. I was lousy at it and don’t think l sold anything. (I am a pretty introverted and non engaging person). My boss says to me on payday at the end of the week: well l can’t pay you this week, not until some time later. But, l can fire you, at that way you can be paid now. I said: fire me then.
And yeah, I just mean that call cntr management didn't give a crap about the content of the call, or even if he sold a subscription, but that he spent too long trying to make that sale when he could have spent that time making several other sales.
I feel sorry for telemarketers, so I try and give them an interesting conversation as well. If they ask for my name I tell them I'm some dead singer like Freddy Fender or something and I go from there.
I worked as a telemarketer for almost a year. Shittiest job ever. But I didn't know better (it was my first real job.) But if I got unemployed now, I'd rather stay that way than go back to selling crap over the phone that nobody wants.
You realise it would have taken less effort to read what I had written in the description than write that comment, right? Taken from the Shock and Awe DVD.
If my job were cold calling people and I managed to get Henry Rollins on the line, I'd probably just ask him annoying questions about Ian MacKaye until he hung up on me.
I'm like Henry, I don't badmouth telemarketers, I just dick with them for a bit. If they call, I pretend to act interested, and when they ask if I'm the head of the household/bill payer, I tell them to hold for a second. I simply put the phone down, without hanging up, and carry on with what I'm doing for like 10-15 minutes or so. If I feel like picking up and talking again, and they're still there, I just say I'm having trouble finding the head of the house, and I'll have to get back to them
And then Glenn Danzig walks in the room and demands to know who Henry was talking to.
Best comment ever
I used to be a telemarketer.
1 -- Everything he says about what it's like to be the telemarketer is 100% true.
2 -- I relished calls like that. Anything to break the tedium.
I was a telemarketer once too and I agree. I’d rather this than, “not interested” any day
@@joshuadull4192 Definitely better than being insulted + yelled at, too.
Fall of '04, it was my first term in college, and I was hawking magazine subscriptions. The people we called were fun, but the co-workers; well... I'm gonna get stories from that for the rest of my life.
@@KonElKent Superbly classy individuals?
3:30 "D- do you work out?" *Producer jump cuts to fat greasy guy.
Turtleproof he looked like an obese kirk hammet
Most people from the audience're fat, so it could be random.
Is it because the fat greasy guy offends you? Maybe he is also Pete, and worked as a telemarketer.
"pete, pete..it's henry"
I never forget one time I was polite, the telemarketer was so relieved and even thanked me...
As soon as he asked, "Do you work out?" I knew where this was going lol
judging by the way the audience laughed when he said that, i think they did as well. LOL
Rollins is right. I had to do that job once. Judge me if you will but I like having food in my mouth. I had an automated machine that dialed numbers for me. Cause the truth is after ONE horrible phone call in a job where I can only apologize and continue, you don't want to dial the number for a while yet BLEEP the machine has already called another poor souls home. 6 rubbish calls in a minute. 60 minutes in an hour. 5 minutes in and I want to jump off a cliff yet there is 1 hour and 55 minutes til next break. But every now and then you get that elusive person who is hilarious. If you act like Rollins towards one of those telemarketers. You would have made their day so much more interesting.
Murphy NZ thank god in the states we have the Do Not Call list
+Greg Dahlen If there's a god and he created the do not call list, I'd make fun of him for being impotent. (The list doesn't stop them.)
Nick M report their asses, you'll get 'em stopped
Where I live, if you are on a Do Not Call List and they call you anyway, they get fined thousands of dollars per call. Not sure how it works in America, but I have found that when I say "I am on the do not call list, and I will be reporting this call to them as soon as I hang up", they cannot terminate the call quickly enough.
Yeah, but if you end up on a list sometime, merely because you made one inquiry, you start losing a nice attitude about it. 6 years ago, I once did like 15 minutes of online investigating, pricing insurance for whatever, and ended up on a list, and received calls ever since. There is no blocking it, because the list is one, obviously, sold to whomever, whenever, and the incoming number is never the same. It's nothing short of harassment, and the 'marketer' is collateral damage. But face it, strange incoming calls with only cold call sales involved is low rung, shite. Unwanted,unsolicited noise. That's the way it is. Nobody wants to shake the porter's hand.
Henry reminds me of a long lost brother of Jim Carrey
He does look like him.
I remember when Henry started his spoken word shows, people were like "what a Henry Rollins show with no music? WTF?" He would play the smallest venues and they would be nearly empty. Never would imagine he would pack theaters this size with his stories.
I did that job in New York for about a year I sadly was never blessed with somebody that funny on the other end of the line
I worked as a telemarketer for a month one time. It was horrible. I was making outbound calls to the public selling them raffle tickets for the RSPCA. As bad as the job was I got one guy who was so hilarious. I asked him if he had any pets, and he was like “No but my wife is an animal in bed”. So if you get a call from a telemarketer, don’t be mean to them or anything, but just mess with them a bit in a good way. Trust me, as long as they have a sense of humour they will find it hilarious. Like this guy does. If I called a person like that I would find it hilarious.
Yep, done that job; cold calling sales. I can say; we LOVE calls like this. People screwing about with us and having a good time really breaks up the soul crushing mundaneness that is working in a call centre.
that feeling when im a rollins fan and a telemarketer.
Now that’s a comedy classic
This is the funniest shit I've seen in a long time
The most gentle thing you can do is to end the call as quick as possible, nobody waste time.
But they don't deserve gentle. They deserve brutal.
@@chrispile3878 Ppl that have to take such jobs have already enough in their plates, maybe it's just me, but it's not cool to beat an already dead horse. Want to change things? ask for a legislative change regarding cold calling.
@@MalakianM2S It's already illegal in most states, and yet they call anyway. The persons in charge of the operation (not the callers) should be hunted down, killed, and fed to wild animals. What they do is literal harassment and fraud on a massive scale.
@@MalakianM2S There are already laws on the books. These people are in other countries, and they don't care about our laws.
@DomainPictures-wq5xm - YOU BET!
This always makes me laugh.
I will always give a telemarketer a polite “no thank you”. Scam calls on the other hand …. that is why I keep a referee whistle near the phone.
another hilarious way to mess with scam callers is when they ask for your phone number or address: give them the address or phone number of your local police or sheriff's department. or if you REALLY wanna mess with them....the phone number or address of your nearest FBI agency.
Judging by the two dislikes, Hi Pete. Hi L.A. Times.
Brilliant
Backfires when Pete is at your door in the morning!
Henry is my spirit animal
I lasted one day in telemarketing. Was selling "AAA Limited" to Melbourne companies so they were the first company alphabetically in that category in the Yellow Pages.
I just look at the hundreds of thousands of people who do that for a living and chuckle, happy I didn't share their fate : )
God that was beautiful
i loved when people did this. meant i could chat or do my college work without distraction.
I am never mean to telemarketers and cold callers because I know their job is much harder than mine and that's even if what they're doing is illegal -- my phone identifies them as fraud or marketing before I even answer it, anyway, and the first call is more likely to be from a computer these days.
1:21
dat DevilDriver shirt.
It's right now Sunday night around 8 PM...
I had one of those scam telemarketers call one time pretending to be Microsoft Tech Support, saying they wanted to do a remote takeover of my computer to resolve some malware issues I was having. I kept them on the line and talking while I pulled up Projekt Misanthropia -- an "experimental" album consisting of screaming mental patients and industrial machine noise -- and I put the phone on speaker, set it front of my computer speaker, and blasted the guy with it.
He called back a few minutes later cussing me out. I just laughed hysterically.
I do not know what the US equivalent is, but in Asstralia, they have what they call the Do Not Call List. You add your name to it, and if telemarketers call you ever again from thirty days after you register, they get fined up the wazoo. I put myself on the list last year and I have not heard a peep out of them since. I cannot say enough nice things about the people who maintain the Do Not Call List. It is like they know that when you purchase a service and product like a phone, be it landline or mobile, you are the one who ought to have discretion over how you use it.
Imagine that.
We have it but it means nothing. And like 90% "telemarketing" calls we receive nowadays are indian tech support scammers that really want Itunes gift cards for some reason.
aspie182 I worked in an Australian outbound call centre and almost all of the people I called claimed to have been put on the do not call list before. The list is real and you have to put people on it if they ask you to, but it still gets ignored.
I used to do telephone surveys, and this sort of thing was always the highlight of my day.
@Amremorse that is hilarious , I've got to try something similar next time these Aholes call.
This reminds me of the time I quit my telemarketing job. I forgot why.
Did you know that Sofia is the capital of Bulgaria? What's even more outstanding is their national flag, which is 3 horizontal stripes that have the following colors: white, red and green.
In 1912 Bulgaria took part in the First Balkan War in which a coalition formed between Bulgaria, Serbia, Montenegro and Greece fought the Ottoman Empire for territorial gains and the independence of, the then non-existent, Free State of Albania. However Bulgaria was dissatisfied with its territorial gains and
Tried to do the job once....lasted til first break. I can't figure out some people....after my dad died, they'd call, ask for him, and not even pause a second when told he was dead. "Well, then, you'll be interested in this offer...." Unbelievable! I should have done the Henry thing, lmao. Maybe that would've shut 'em up.
I remember the first time I saw this bit. And I knew exactly where this was going😂😂😂
Act excited , interested and ask them to hold so you can get your wallet then put the phone down and walk away. My record is around 15 minutes with the tele/Indian guy still holding.
+JIMJAMSC you're doing him a favor. Free 15 minutes break.
One week left of my job as a telemarketer. God i can't wait to leave that fucking bullshit.
The days of having a landline
From Apocalypse Now ,,, the movie
I was a telemarketer for the local newspaper for a total of two days; let go because I didn't garner enough subscriptions.
Then forgot my experience with that and went into the other direction; 'customer management' (inbound troubleshooting/billing/etc) for a total of five years with two different companies. Ugh. The work wasn't too bad, but the callers wanted A, the client company wanted B and the call center company wanted C, and I just had to quit due to a pending ulcer.
Good for you! It took me 10 years to come to the same conclusion...
I just got called by a telemarketer, and I was really tempted to do this to her
Usually I don't find his stand up to be that funny, but I admit, this made me laugh
It's not stand-up per se. It's just spoken word. It's just meant to keep you entertained and engaged, not necessarily to always keep you laughing.
your user name is great
@@jacksonpage1580 truee 😂
Retook an offensive, this time against its previous Balkan allies for more territorial gains, namely Macedonia and a strip of Greece which was mainly inhabited by Bulgarians. However the Ottoman Empire re-entered the war, this time on the side of the Balkan league and even the Kingdom of Romania, which had untill then remained neutral, entered the war for its possible territorial gains. On these grounds Bulgaria was defeated and the Kingdom of Romania took the province of the Cardilater and then
aaaannnnd.....what exactly does that have to do with Henry's story of messing with a telemarketer?
@@jamesdick2580 Most telemarkers / scammers are based in Macedonia or Romania.
To Mr Skybeam Nugget, lighten up man it's just ART for fucks sake.
This is great!
My favourite answer to telemarketers were: "Sorry, I cannot possibly do womething with your magazine (or whatever stuff they're selling), I'm deaf-blind, sorry." Or what works too: "Sorry, I have to begin a very long prison sentence on monday, maybe you could call me back in seven to ten years (insert nervous giggle, but stay absolutely serious the same time)"
My cousin was a telemarketer the numbers are all random and lucky for me he got my number.
I just yell NO repeatedly until they hang up. I really should make more of an effort.....
No you haven't seen this discussion yet,the man wears the same blue dockers and black fruit of the loom size medium shirt.
Great technique. Once a young lady called from across the country to sell me something. So I asked her, "Where do you live? What time do you get off work? I'm coming over!" She started to sound scared, and I never heard from her again.
Another time I got a call from a young woman in India. By the time I got thru with her, she wanted me to come to India so she could meet me. Can you hear the wedding bells chime?
I did telemarketing for a week when l was a teenager. I think it was my first job ever. I was lousy at it and don’t think l sold anything. (I am a pretty introverted and non engaging person). My boss says to me on payday at the end of the week: well l can’t pay you this week, not until some time later. But, l can fire you, at that way you can be paid now. I said: fire me then.
My MAN
And yeah, I just mean that call cntr management didn't give a crap about the content of the call, or even if he sold a subscription, but that he spent too long trying to make that sale when he could have spent that time making several other sales.
Oh man I never though of this hahaha henry is awesome.
I, too, will be sending you a comment.
Pete.
......holy hell......GENIUS!!!
I feel sorry for telemarketers, so I try and give them an interesting conversation as well. If they ask for my name I tell them I'm some dead singer like Freddy Fender or something and I go from there.
thus is the curse of empathy haha great bit
I like doing stuff like this to the scammers when they call. I don't get nearly as many calls from scammers as I used to.
Ant true salesman has thick skin and doesnt take it personally. They don't want your service, simple as that.
hank should be on radio, tv, phone, 24/7. always
HENRY ROLLINS
13 DE FEBRERO DE 1961
61 AÑOS (62)
BLACK FLAG.
Watching this on my phone only to have Henry rudely interrupted midsentence by a clown trying to sell me DUCK CLEANING
Actually Henry,. Most work from home now👍 my wife did it part time for Best Buy
I may just try this sometime.
I always have an air horn by the phone. I give them a blast with that and hang up. they cant get the head set off in time.
And then job requests for telemarketers in Henry's area skyrocketed.
I feel like that camera at 3:34 was kinda mean... quite on point but mean :D.
I worked as a telemarketer for almost a year. Shittiest job ever. But I didn't know better (it was my first real job.) But if I got unemployed now, I'd rather stay that way than go back to selling crap over the phone that nobody wants.
omg omg lol lmfao im in tears laughing
Hello, is Pete at work today?
I wanna talk to him, just him!🤣
Now I have a strategy for next time
I used a prank dial app on a telemarketer (it was the is jared there) and literally got a guy name jerry lol.
Pete had questions after that, however Pete was the only one with The answers…
Question is what if he wants to cuddle after then what ?
What if Pete sees this vid?
just... how did it backfire ._______.
You realise it would have taken less effort to read what I had written in the description than write that comment, right? Taken from the Shock and Awe DVD.
Oh Zaheer!
Indeed Kevin O'Brien my boyfriend is so funny.
Lmao I've fkn done this so many tines.
We say "sprekin ze Deuche?" Vas es dat?
Pete didn't call back because he came too
Oh if that only worked for spam email.
I'm going to get a job as a telemarketer now.
If my job were cold calling people and I managed to get Henry Rollins on the line, I'd probably just ask him annoying questions about Ian MacKaye until he hung up on me.
The good ol' days when telemarketers weren't robots
Challange Accepted! :D
that was epic....
Don't tell me what to do!!!
Yes, I am the reason for all of that.
This is fucking awesome!
What would he have done if Pete *did* show up at his door??
I usually play that song from the Outhere Brothers "Pussy Pussy" lol
I'm like Henry, I don't badmouth telemarketers, I just dick with them for a bit. If they call, I pretend to act interested, and when they ask if I'm the head of the household/bill payer, I tell them to hold for a second. I simply put the phone down, without hanging up, and carry on with what I'm doing for like 10-15 minutes or so. If I feel like picking up and talking again, and they're still there, I just say I'm having trouble finding the head of the house, and I'll have to get back to them
zajebiste!!!!!that was awesome!!!!!
nate burkis at :28!!!! omgg
LOL! Too funny!!!