I think people in the comments are getting worked up over story 4 but they missed an important part: all of them, including Lauren, considered the husband an asshole. They almost skipped the discussion because it's kinda obvious, so they talked about another point that is also valid: the fact that the mom was showcasing not great behaviour. I agree with them that what she said wasn't right. That does not mean the husband was right. It's two different things. Morgan even pointed out how the mom said that because she is under a lot of pressure (which is 100% true), but that does not excuse putting the children under the heat.
Yes. You nailed it. We get it the dad is an asshole. The mother was wronged and if I were her I would be furious- and I probably would be honest with my kids about what happened. But if I yelled it to them in the middle of a fight with my husband.. I wouldn’t feel good about that. The husband was an asshole and what he did was wrong but I went easy on him because I have a niece and if someone told me I couldn’t see her again I would be devastated- so I considered that he may have experienced extreme desperation in the moment. Again-doesn’t make it okay. It is very disheartening to see some people try to label me as misogynistic for this take and I appreciate you speaking up and sharing a more positive interpretation.
@@Lauren-ib3ok Honestly, I agree with you! I think the post is written in a way that the mother gets the validation she wants, not exactly to tell the whole story. I think the husband is an asshole for spending the money, but would we feel different if he had quit his job because he's depressed? His family is being an asshole for asking for the money, but does that excuse the mother telling the kids it's his fault? I don't think so. I think people are being very quick to jump to the conclusion you are mysoginistic, when in reality you're being empathetic. Maybe you're being "too hard" on the mother because you put yourself in her shoes, take parenting seriously and you'd be hard on yourself too. At the same time, you're putting yourself in the husband's shoes, and that is also valid. People are interpreting that as being "too easy" on him. Even if you had internalized misogyny (hey, it's something we all can learn about and get better), the people in the comments aren't leaving constructive criticism. I wanted to comment because I listen to this podcast a lot and I think you have very interesting takes, that people should try to understand better before jumping to conclusions. The podcast would not be the same without you, I hate seeing people wanting you off it just because they disagree. (sorry if I made spelling mistakes, English is not my first language)
@@dudacanever5440 Your English is perfect! And thank you for sharing your thoughts 💓 I will say that I genuinely regret using the word selfish to describe what she said to her kids because being a mother in itself is SELFLESS and being a mother working your ass off to give your children a Christmas is most definitely a selfless act. Sure I can say from my experience as a kid that it would be more appropriate for her to address the issue with her kids differently but I haven’t been a mother so I may very well have done the exact same thing she did if I was at my wits end. Being raised by a single mother of four- I have the most respect for mothers and I do regret/ am sorry I didn’t use the opportunity to highlight that. Again I really appreciate you, Duda! Happy holidays love ♥️
For the first story: the fact that he said “she’s biracial but I don’t see how that matters” shows that he doesn’t need to be dating a biracial woman in the first place. If he doesn’t even the slightest inkling as to why messing up a biracial Woman’s hair routine is problematic or might be why she cares so much about the towel he is completely ignorant of anything about race and what his gf must go through.
Yes! I rolled my eyes and shook my head when she read that comment from him. I'm not biracial, but I have enough biracial people and other people of color in my life to know why it matters. It's so important to have the right products to care for your hair, especially for textured and/or curly hair. Also I have a towel specifically for my hair, and even though my hair is short, I still use it. I don't see why it's weird to have a hair towel? I really hope she doesn't go back to him because he doesn't deserve her.
I need every single human being to understand that race is in everything and it’s everywhere. Closing your eyes to the nuances of race, ethnicity, etc. is ignoring the experiences of millions of people. Which is why so many people go without justice or their human rights, even if it’s just the right to exist in peace. Open your eyes! Race, unfortunately, is always relevant, and that was 100% made to be the case on purpose.
Girlfriend has curly hair. It’s really important to use a microfiber towel for your hair when your hair is naturally curly. It helps with frizz. Seems weird but it’s a big deal.
I asked my husband if I had a special towel that was ONLY for my hair would he find it odd. His response “Why would I care about a towel? Are you asking for one?”
what i didnt understand is why the whole family is putting the responebility in him who is unemployed with 3 kids, why isnt his parents helping or some other reletives who is better off. just dont get why his family acts like its gonna be his fault if they cant see the kid.
@@animelover1705 it sounded like the entire family had and it was now his family's turn to. But I dont see how a family could put the stress on another family member to pay a bill that isnt theirs, when they don't have a job to pay it in the first place. Also, if a court agreement has been made, usually holidays are shared. I dont think the mom could hold the kid away if he didnt pay child support. (Maybe I'm wrong, I dont know all state regs for child support.) Just all together a really unfortunate situation.
Exactly!! I don’t think the mom was wrong for telling her kids. I would wanna know if my dad picked someone else’s kid instead of his own family. Especially when the dad wasn’t even working
Not only taking the towel shows how disrespectful he is. But if I understand correctly he texted her although she asked for space. Like I know waiting for a moment to apologize or even discuss the situation is frustrating. But not respecting her wish for space just doesn’t help. I could see that she hasn’t answered yet just because she feels pushed and furthermore disregarded by him.
The first bf is giving me "I don't see color" vibes. As a person in an interracial relationship, it is so important to me that my partner is cognizant about the fact that we come from different cultures. After 2 years of dating he doesn't know what the towel is for? He literally said he didn't know why her being a different race mattered in a conversation about her hair? I would be willing to bet that this girl has been existing entirely in his culture while he probably doesn't even recognize that she has a different culture and even if he did I doubt he would see it as important enough for him to learn about or acknowledge. Miss me with that.
He knew its a hair towel, he is just one of these people who uses 1 towel for face, body and ass and think she is cray cray for having different habbits. Its said why she uses the towel, no mystery here, she explained to him❤️🙏
when he said he worried his family might be embarrassed about her towel i was rly sad and already felt intuitively that she was non-white. like why else would a guy get the idea that his family would laugh at his gf? it must be that the gf is already somehow different from them and something small like the towel habit could already cause them to mock the relationship. well what could her otherness be? it must be they're white & she isn't, i thought...
I agree with Morgan for story #4. How is he so pressured by his family to give them money but not pressured to get a job. I think the kids walked in on her having a breakdown. She probably was so excited to do this for them & he stole it from her/them. I’m sure the kids know by now their dad is a bum. They’ll be more messed up by their mom staying with a bum than their one responsible parent having one outburst.
exactly, she shouldn’t have said it to the kids but she worked so hard for that money and he stole it. he literally stole christmas from his kids. i would be devastated
I 100% agree with Morgan. Sure, she shouldn't have said that to her kids like that, but she definitely had a breakdown and just blurted it out. I'm sure she's going to regret just saying it like that later on
That husband sounds like she has a fourth child to take care of. Maybe it's cold to say this but she should drop his ass if he doesn't get his shit together 🙄
Something that bugs me so much about the woman who’s husband stole the Christmas money is that his terrible actions are being overshadowed by her outburst. I can’t imagine how much stress she’s under. What she said wasn’t great, that’s for sure. It probably caused some damage but not nearly as much damage as the husbands theft and refusal to work. He is trying to twist the negative attention towards her and he’s a loser for that.
Typical narcissistic abuse. Abuse and degrade until your supply snaps and then, bam! Now the supply is the bad guy. Abusers don’t get to shame the abused for lashing out at the pain of abuse. SMH.
Plus, he went to tattletale on her to his family. And now they’re bullying her ?!?!? They ALL stole money from her and her kids but they think her saying the truth was worse than stealing. And he had no motivation or passion to work. Umm your kids should be your motivation to work.
Agree with all of these comments. It is sooo easy to say from the outside that she could’ve responded better regarding the kids. Yes, of course she has, but she’s not the problem here. Her getting burnt out and not using her own gas mask is the result of the husband not doing enough.
What got me about it is it wasn't a small amount $500! Like how far behind was this guys brother on child support and "contribute and pay part" that tells me other family also had to help. Doesn't sound like the nephew's mom is the issue sounds like that whole family needs to get themselves into the trash.
This comment is about the guy with the Japanese girlfriend. From what I've heard in the past (no idea if it's true) Christmas in Japan tends to be a couple holiday more than the family focus holiday it is in the US, so that could be adding to the girlfriend's hurt feelings.
@@TwoHotTakes Kat is right, that definitely is the case! Christmas is for couples, and not even really a proper holiday in Japan. I'd also like to add, that although I totally appreciate Justin and his opinions on the takes, his comment "just communicate" is a bit entitled in this case. I worked and lived in the US for a few years and have been brought up bilingual, but for the majority of my life I have been speaking another language. Everytime I had a conflict with my American roommates or got upset I had trouble finding the appropriate words or articulating myself and my words were thrown back at me as reasons for being patronizing or having a bad attitude because for the rest of the time my English "is so good"... It drove me crazy to not be able to communicate properly when it was most important, so there is the possibility that this aspect added to the stress the girlfriend felt anyways.
@User572 exactly what I was thinking, it looks like he didn't spend a single day trying to learn her language, instead he just expects the GF to know English 100%??? That's so weird...
@@TwoHotTakes I feel like in this story there's a lot of cultural differences between the 2 people despite being together for 2 years. I appreciate Justin's comments about communicating with each other however it has to be noted that the Japanese culture of communicating is very different to the Western way of communicating. They tend to try and please the other person and rarely say anything directly, it seems like it is a very image-focused culture which I think is why the situation panned out like it did. Also, misogyny is still a very prominent issue in Japanese culture, she might not want to voice her own opinions because of it. On top of that, he also seems to be a white person which just added another level of superiority in her eyes, because they are very glorified. So I think this whole story is just attributed to his lack of understanding of her culture and ignorance to it.
The guy saying she can communicate, she did. It’s weird of him to do that behind her back. The fact she’s biracial makes it completely different because now it feels like it’s definitely a micro aggression and some kind of weird control thing. She’s not being a baby.
i knew the moment he said something about his family being embarrassed that his gf must somehow be "different" from them already. like i figured she prob isn't white and the boyfriend feels like the towel accentuates her non-whiteness..
That’s a macro aggression. other people might not notice a difference in her hair after the towel being removed from her routine, but to her, she probably thought she looked a mess in front of his family. Not only did he not realize and recognize her differences, in a way he used them to embarrass her in-front of his family.
Exactly, like he admits that she's clearly explained to him before why she needs this specific towel he just chooses to ignore her feelings and sneakily does what he wants because her hair "looked fine before" as a way to justify him ignoring boundaries. And then he continues to ignore her boundaries when she explicitly tells him through text "I'm mad and I need some space" by constantly texting/calling her. Like she isn't answering back because he refuses to give her the space she asked for so if anyone is "acting like a child" it's him because he seems to believe he's entitled to both her personal property and her personal space.
I love justin’s emphasis on communication though, so many people seem to blame others for not being able to read their mind, or they arnt willing to meet their partners halfway. clearly communicating how you feel and coming to the table to compromise or understand eachother is the only sustainable way for a relationship to survive.
Of course communication is important in any relationship. It’s how we bond. But communication is a two way street. If someone is telling you they feel xyz about something and you choose to ignore it (like towel guy) then you are the problem. A partner can only express their grievances so much before they realize they aren’t being heard.
I just had my baby a month ago and when she wakes up in the middle of the night ( multiple times) I watch you guys while I feed her you guys keep this new mama sane 🥲
As a kid who grew up in the uneven responsibility dynamic from their parents, I always wanted to know. I always made sure to appreciate my mother because I knew she was the one providing for the whole house. My dad did nothing. Couldn’t keep a job, refuse to “babysit” us, spent most of the time and his buddies’ places. My mom left him when I was 7, but only once ever blew up about it, and that argument was what led her to file for divorce. What I’m trying to say is, the mother saying that to the kids is wayyyyy less traumatic (actually wasn’t traumatic at all for me because we had known that our mom was the one keeping a roof over our heads) than having to live with a father who clearly doesn’t care. I would honestly be more upset if I thought my mom was going to pull through with all this and then didn’t, because I have trust in my mother. Being told that my dad spent the money literally wouldn’t phase me because that’s all he does anyways, it’s expected. Anyways, gotta agree with Morgan. Poor mom had a breakdown, and it honestly is justified.
Same, I was the happiest when my parents divorced. He and the stress he was putting my mom through was literally killing her. Wanting to not hear the truth about a deadbeat is trash. I didn’t disown my dad because of the stuff my mom said, I disowned him because I saw that everything my mom said about him turned out to be true.
Story 4 had me livid and hearing Lauren say she selfish just sent me. Like did we just hear the same story? That dad should of told his family he's broke and has nothing to give. There is nothing in this world that get me to steal money ment for my kids point blank. These kids know what a dead beat their father is. This wouldn't surprise them but if they thought their mother had ruined Christmas I think that would have been worse.
No, Lauren is right. OP was selfish. You NEVER bring your kids into arguments with your spouse. OP was being vindictive and gross. Her husband is right, this borderline emotional incest (which is a thing) will do more damage to her kids than missing out on Christmas. OP needs to not be talking to her kids about their financial situation. The husband in an asshole, too. ESH in my opinion. If OP hadn't told her kids like that, it would be NTA.
@@ghosty8193 okay I agree she shouldn't have said it but I understand why she did. She was so over it, she tried her level best to give her children the Christmas they deserve but the husband got in the way of things. Don't think she was selfish though but I do think she could've said it better
I told my older son we were leaving his dad because he has a drug addiction. I was told I should not have done that and dragged him into our situation. He is now 21 years old and told me the other day that he was glad I told him that. He was glad I was open with him about the fact that his father is, and has always been a crappy dad. I always want to be honest with my kids.
As a kid who also went through this, thank you for being an honest parent. My mom never tried to cover for her husbands shite behavior and when we left we knew what was up. You’re a great mom ❤️
I'm the child of a drug addict. The only reason I found out is because my brother told me when I was 22. I'll never know if/when my mom was ever planning on telling me, and that is a horrible feeling. You did the right thing
Curly biracial girl here... Drying and plopping hair w/ the microfiber towel is super important. Also, if she is going to use gel, leave in conditioner or mousse, she may not want to ruin your family's nice towels because those products can leave residue.
@@gabyalva1028 it sort of does so i only plop for about an hour just to let my hair dry a bit before diffusing. my hair takes foreverrrr to dry otherwise.
I'm sorry but I wouldn't be paying anyone else child support. He literally stole from her. It wasn't his money to take. Telling the kids that was definitely the wrong thing to do. But still f him for doing that bs in the first place. 🙄
Lauren's comment on the 4th story is INFURIATING. The mom worked so hard to try and give her kids a nice Christmas and the husband took that away from them. Like, how is that the mom's fault?!
Agreed. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but not all opinions are valid. Ppl without kids who have never been in a financially abusive marriage have no idea the feeling that mother went through. I have and I would never let myself absorb the blame. I would not lie to my kids to save their father and have them blame me. Lauren's opinion was absolutely moronic.
@@rocked13 as a adult who as a kid heard such things about my father form my mom's mouth - I wish she never told me it. This forced me to grew up so fast. She told me about every girl she cheated her with, about every financial struggle and jus everything. This can seems like an 1 time situation outburst but what if kids will think that this is their fault that parents argue? Because they wanted Christmas and they saw mother working hard. They will be scared to ask about everything or it can in different way and they can start hate their own father. As a person who done so - it is not healthy and leads to many issues and traumas later on. Words and feelings are powerful. Even one such comment can change their life and she should talk with them why she said so. Kids want just to be loved, they do not care so much about a prezents
@@kimjimi4639 i would disagree with you. As a child raised by single-mom. I regret not knowing how shitty my dad is and how bad he and his fam treated my mom before she left. I was bugging her why doesn’t she request a child support. But now I know, because she doesn’t want us to feel like we need to pay back or have a “children responsibility” towards them.
I think one key point that was missed with Japanese girlfriend is that she might not want to travel alone - at all. She might not want to fly alone and be stuck alone at his family’s or friend’s gf’s house because she has to be “working” (on and making a good impression). It’s exhausting and there’s no one on her team.
@@bloodwolfbono5241 just for a day... Sometimes you can adjust for ur partner... U don't always get what you want.... You can adjust for one day in 2 weeks
Lauren’s take on #4 had me like 🥴. If the husbands brother is struggling with child support he shouldn’t expect his brother who is also struggling to pay it. I don’t care what kind of pressure i got from my family. He should’ve told him that his kids come first above seeing his nephew. The lack of communication is obvious. I think ESH. The mother should apologize to her children for what she said. she’s justified at being angry but shouldn’t’ve taken it out on her kids.
I came to comment the same thing. She has the excuse of being angry. He has none. There is absolutely no reality in which your parents seeing their grandbaby comes first to your own kids. Absolutely not. Especially since it is the brother's responsibility to pay, not the unemployed husband. It also inexcusable that he took that money without telling her first. I would RUN if my husband behaved like that.
He stole from his wife, he knew it was wrong. Not to mention they are enabling the brother who most likely doesn't get to see his kids for a good reason. How are the kids going to react when they don't get presents?? They will find out eventually and I would tell my kids. They deserve to know. No excuse for being a crappy parent.
I’m a biracial person ( black and Mexican) and I’m sensing a lot of lack of cultural appreciation and racism honestly. He seemed embarrassed to bring her home with her towel. I am dating a white boy and I have tweaked beauty regimens to not be judge by his family like wearing a bonnet. I believe she sensed the racism as well so that’s what makes it even more upsetting
@@infjandcoping4614 these routines aren’t the same as wearing something like sweatpants that might seem too “slobby” tho (not that I have anything against wearing lazy clothes if you’re staying over). These are racially specific care routines. Lumping them in with stuff like wearing sweatpants around the house that aren’t seen as appropriate for these situations is a little sus. Black people already have a hard enough time with people saying their hair care / hair styles are “unprofessional” or “unkempt”. Expecting poc to compromise their body care routine specifically in the parts that are racially oriented is honestly just an extension of the stereotype that black people are somehow lazy or unprofessional and it’s very damaging and inaccurate.
i’m sorry but lauren’s response on #4 has me enraged. the dad and his brother are clearly bums. the mom is working herself half to death and lauren calls her selfish? sure saying that in front of her kids wasn’t great but i don’t think it will effect them any worse than having a deadbeat dad will.
okay so we have a man that don’t work and has 3 children and then has the audacity to take hundreds of dollars and give it away......Divorce. The kids should know the truth. Lying to them is not the “good” route to take. Kids deserve the TRUTH!
I almost couldnt even listen to #4. Why does everyone think that this SUPER WOMAN (who not only carried her, the husband AND 3 kids she ALSO saved enough money to habe decorations meals and presents) should take the brunt of the responsibility of the anger her children are gonna have. Those kids have been traumatized already and so has this woman. She deserved the chance to save HER face because she did everything she could to make something happen. And now the anger from those kids will be well deserved to the ASSHOLE who ruined their xmas.
Yeah and she said that the kids know that their mom is the one making Christmas happening and supporting them, if she didn't tell them it was the dads fault they would have blamed her for no christmas
I think she was in her right to be angry, but she could have communicated what happened to her kids a little better, and eviscerate her husband when they were alone. But I totally get that it’s hard to keep cool in that situation, as she had just found out and didn’t have a lot of time to think of what she should say
My parents are divorced and when I was 16 my mom accidently let it slip that my dad refused to pay for any part of my hospital bills even though I know that he has the means. I don't hold it against my mom, but it honesty traumatized me. That is why I think that the mom should have not told the kids about what happened. What she did only made things easier for her and harder for her kids. This will be something that will take them years to get over and will cause so much damage. It is not fair for the mom to have to deal with the brunt of the anger, but she should have made the choice to shield her children from the hurt even if it was at her expense.
No, Lauren is right. OP was selfish. You NEVER bring your kids into arguments with your spouse. OP was being vindictive and gross. Her husband is right, this borderline emotional incest (which is a thing) will do more damage to her kids than missing out on Christmas. OP needs to not be talking to her kids about their financial situation. Edit: This post is ESH imo. The husband is obviously an asshole but so it’s OP for bringing her kids into a very grown-up situation that they had no business being privy to.
Lauren’s stance on the child support story drove me crazy. Child support is supposed to come out of your money that you earn not a family charity pool. And now those kids don’t get a Christmas.
@@elenango1851 alot of people didn't listen to what she said fully. She never said he responsible for his brother child support but she said that the husband was in a hard situation with his family. But she also said that he should of had a conversation first with his wife.
Yeah the wife is fine in my eyes, they do not need to be lied to, and CS in no shape or form a reason to deny your kids a Christmas, Lauren peeved me, like the wife is selfish for what? Saving the money for the kids? Being honest with them? I'd say the same stuff, I am not lying to them for his benefit when he screwed up
Story 4: Lauren got this wrong. The mother IS NOT the asshole. She may have told the kids it was their dad's fault, but whats the alternative? They resent HER instead of their DEADBEAT dad?? Yeah that's a no for me. He had no right to do that, especially without consulting his wife who made that money.
Right I was kind of mad when she said that she’s selfish like Op said that if she didn’t say that they would’ve thought that it’s her fault that they’ve no Christmas
Part of me thinks that at least for the 9 and 11 year old children, both parents could have just sat down and told them what happened. I saved money for Christmas this year and was really excited to celebrate with you all but daddy thought his brother needed it a little bit more than we did this year. Are you all ok if we have a nice family dinner and postpone gifts just a little bit?
No absolutely not! The mom had every right to let her kids know that he chose his family over his kids. If you are a parent your kids are over EVERYONE . It is absolutely insane to me that yall are blaming a mother who worked her ass off to give her children money. Saying she needs to take accountability?! But not the dad gtfoh with that mentality. As a mother of 3 I would do the same if it came down to it. Fuck covering up for a man who fails to provide for his kids and manages to still take away from them😒
They were only upset with her outburst, and thought she could have broken the news better to her kids. because as a kid from divorce it isn’t fun to hear your parents badmouth, scream, and blame each other all the time. Even if it’s justified. They all clearly agreed that the dad was a grade A asshole and how it’s never right to take money from a partner and even messaged her about helping start a donation page to help her and the kids have a good Christmas
As a kid in this type of situation, I would definitely want to know. I grew up with my mom doing everything, and we all knew she was the one bringing in money, even when I was super young. Had this happened, I would feel so betrayed by my mom because it’s her I would expect stuff from, not my dad. I was already used to being disappointed by him, so thinking that my mom would do the same thing would probably break me. 100% agree with you, they should not be blaming her
@@iliterallycannot1661 Same. My mother was the breadwinner too and my father used to spend her salary without anyone knowing where it goes until it can no longer be ignored. It made me doubt him more about everything because he was and still is not transparent about things like that.
Deadbeat dads of all kinds need to be known. No woman should cover for a father that is basically divorced from providing for his family. She’s probably be better off divorcing him like his brother is now paying child support and see how he likes it. Dude is def the ahole.
Literally!!! If she needed to reprimand him in front of their children to light a fire under his ass to get his shit together and get a job, I’m glad she did. Why is it her responsibility to provide for the family, parent, homemaker, and make sure you’re being 100% cautious of the feelings of your children and husband? She’s overworked, undervalued. The story and the takes are a perfect example of how much higher of a standard women are held to than men. It’s clear by the way he doesn’t value his own children, he’s gotta be the worst husband, lover, partner, etc. divorce now.
Okay Lauren’s take on the mom being an asshole had me 😭🤢🤮🥴. Stop “normalizing” SHITTY parents. My dad was a piece of crap and did something similar to my mother. As a child. I wish my mother told me some of the shit my dad did. Bc as i got older *I* had to find out myself AND deal with it until i was legal age to cut him off. The mother isn’t a bad mother for telling her kids what their dad did bc it’s WRONG and kids will understand as long as you talk to them. That’s all on him.
You are right that shitty parenting should not be glorified. That being said unloading your marital issues on your children is a shitty parent move. I've worked in childcare and have studied child development. It's not good for children to hear/see/be in the middle of parental arguments. It causes a lot of issues in behaviour, emotional control, and it can have effects on learning and health. Those two parents should definitely not be together and the mother can tell her kids about it in the future and then they can decide how to react to that. However for the time being they need to deal with it as the partnership they are meant to be to the best of their abilities and work on how to co-parent separately if need be. That will be much better for the kids in the long run.
For the second story, I feel like there is a couple missing pieces of information and a whole other perspective that nobody mentioned so far, we don’t know enough abt the other time(s) his girlfriend met his parents, did they say offensive things ? Did they make her uncomfortable ? If not did she seem anxious or stressed ? Bc she could be one of the first Japanese people they’ve gotten to know personally and a lot of ppl can be overly curious and bc she’s Japanese and English is her second language there is a lot of cultural and linguistic barriers that might be hard for her to traverse with his parents,so her having to be an honorary ambassador for japan could get stressful and bothersome quickly especially if she has to do it alone, and I doubt she wants to possibly sour his parents opinion on Japanese ppl with her actions, as a black person I’ve had to be an advocate on the behalf of the black community a few times in my life and it can be stressful, also since English is her second language her “blowing up” might also be her struggling to find the words in English that could express what she feels and means to ask and say and “just communicating” might be hard for her bc she’s (according to OP) not fluent in English
53:07 she is not selfish she is not an asshole she work so hard during the year and save money for her kids Xmas so his no job dad took that away to give it to another death beat dad. I don't care if is family or they pressure me i wont take money that's not mine especially for my kids and just give it away that unfair and i would tell my kids cause if they know mommy is bring in the money they won't blame me for a bad Xmas
I agree that the dad messed up however the attitude of not wanting them to blame you for a bad Christmas is kind of selfish. As Lauren said, there a better ways it could be handled, and the way it was handled was way harder for the kids than it should have been. And it is selfish to care more about making it known it’s not your fault than making sure your kids understand the situation and are emotionally cared for during this difficult time. I agree the dad is the asshole and the kids deserve to be made aware of the situation, but you need to work it out with your spouse privately and wait to talk to your kids about it until your calmed down.
Exactly! I get where their minds are at, but as a child of divorce myself, it’s better to know. There’s a difference between shit talking your ex husband and sharing the reality of your current husband. They’ve gotta already know their dad is a deadbeat, but they might not know how hard the financial situation is and not understand why they still can’t have a normal Christmas, especially if they’ve seen the mom working so much and I’m sure her working takes some quality time away from the kids.
If you fee embarresed because of a towel, you've got way more issues. That is not normal dude.. So is taking someone's stuff. Would def be rethinking that relationship
To Lauren re: story #4 - as a mother you do everything you can to provide for your children no matter what, even when you struggle with mental health you have to power through. Her lazy ass husband had quit all his jobs bc they’re unmotivating, leaving her the burden of providing for the family. You call her selfish when you don’t know all the sacrifices she probably had to make to even set that money aside for her children. The husband is a terrible person, he doesn’t give a shit about his kids. If that’s me or my partner we would work the most degrading disgusting jobs you could think of to make sure our kids could eat, he doesn’t care about them. He isn’t noble for stealing money from his wife to give to his deadbeat brother. He doesn’t care about seeing his newphews the story says that the family wouldn’t be able to see them so they were asking him to contribute. So not only does he refuse to work to provide for his kids but he stole from them too. I would have 100% done the same thing. With a dad like that you don’t think those kids are traumatized already? Except mom has probably been taking the fault for everything this whole time so if she didn’t tell them they would resent her always. Maybe I wouldn’t have told the kids but I would’ve made him go tell them how he stole money from them so his newphews who have a deadbeat dad could have a Christmas so they can’t. But I would not have taken the fall bc kids remember that. Not to mention, this woman is probably so mentally and physically drained and you call her selfish over an outburst but give the husband a pass when literally all of his actions have been selfish and none of hers were. As a mom, it was infuriating to listen to this story and the takes because it is always the mom who is blamed for everything regardless of her selflessness and men get away with at all.
Not to mention she is the one who takes the brunt of the Christmas shopping most likely. From the sound of it she does all the work and the husband just sits there. So he not only does not have a job but stole from his wife and then acts like the victim. Besides the kids will find out eventually. How are you gonna tell them Christmas Day that they have no toys, let alone just let them come down and see nothing. It is heartbreaking for any parent to see their kids like that. Knowing your spouse was responsible for that is infuriating. He took her hard work and threw it away.
@@rosemarygutierrez6747 I don't understand Lauren's stance one bit. Your children should know. Maybe don't tell them that way but you need to tell them. It would be worse if on Christmas they come downstairs and see nothing. That is heartbreaking as a mother. It's also upsetting that someone like your spouse would literally steal from you, steal!!
Completely agree so the mother should have to what …lie, make up excuses, sell a kidney so their kids can have Christmas because of the Dad stealing from her and his own kids? No way!!! Your own kids come before your brothers and he knew he was doing something wrong or he would of discussed it with his wife first. The Dad is a POS and so is his family bullying the wife. She should tell them all to kick rocks and make sure husband could not access any of her hard earned money. Listening to Lauren call the mom selfish I was like so frustrated.
Lauren - How is your initial reaction, “she’s so selfish, she’s SO selfish” when this woman is single-handedly providing for her family? How is she the selfish one when the husband *stole* the money *she* saved for their kids’ Christmas? You said “he was doing it for family” as justification - no, he STOLE from his family. His “family” in this situation is his wife and children. I totally understand that knee jerk reactions can be clouded by the part of the story that triggers you the most, but this one was just a bad take. You played devil’s advocate for him, but absolutely crucified her.
She thinks The wife, in that situation is selfish, because the guy is under a lot of pressure dealing with his family. I disagree also, but I agree the wife is selfish. I believe she layed out this whole fight she's having with their dad, because she wants them to be mad at him, and you don't get to do that. Either way, let's try not to be to hard on Lauren. In other stories, I have heard her being merciful and understanding toward people that the rest of us might not be. She seems truly sweet, and I'd don't know about you, but I'm not perfect, so if I did something that had everyone around me going off on me, it would sure be nice if one person told me I wasn't terrible, and it must've been really hard for me. She doesn't seem to be trying to excuse the behavior entirely, just maybe saying that he doesn't deserve all of the hellfire and brimstone he's getting.
@@brenthunter5078 doesn’t deserve all the fire & brimstone he’s getting when he stole the kids christmas for a third year, & used it for his brothers kid when his brother is probably a deadbeat just like him with excuses like “i didn’t have passion or motivation” even though your motivation/passion should be for your kids, to show up to work. Was a weak man who wouldn’t stand up against his family just throwing the problem onto him & trying to guilt him. He clearly doesn’t have it in him to be a dad & given kids are smart & probably know this already.. if you’ve ever experienced truama like this you’d understand the mom was just poorly telling the kids what actually happened. she had an outburst & had just found out and they walked in. and the kids know their dad isn’t trying or at least can feel it. they will forgive their mom & they without their mom saying it like that, still would have decided dad is at fault. he doesn’t have his priorities straight, & his kids know it. the wife had a selfish moment, the dad is selfish. Dad is the A, and mom had a human reaction after working her butt off to give her kids christmas and had their joy ripped away as well as hers. Now she has let her kids down indirectly, and even that probably hurts unimaginably. but she sounds like a sound person who would probably apologize to them later & is just caught up in her husband’s lack of remorse & essentially making her the bad guy to get rid of the fact he did something extremely messed up & betrayed his wife & kids.
for the story about the dad taking $500 that was meant for xmas, i see where the mom is coming from. She said the kids knew she was the one bringing in money so they would assume it was her fault. I grew up the oldest of 5 with a shit father who couldn’t keep a job and whatever money he did have was spent on weed and my mother who is a nurse practitioner (even put my dad through massage school because he said he wanted to do that then he never even got a job as a masseuse) and i know when things went wrong (esp money wise) i subconsciously blamed her because i knew she was the one working, but she never said anything. i’m now 20 and i’m starting to see just how fucked up my dad was growing up and i wish she would’ve said something when i was younger. it’s a shit situation when you take the heat for something your deadbeat husband does and it takes a toll on the mother. the only problem i have with it is the five year old is too young.
And like why is the dad no working why is he leeching? It wasn’t his money to take. Get a job and if he wants to use his OWN money he may. He had no right to ruin his kids Christmas
@@wackersbonkers4377 YES, also kids deserve to be treated as people and to be told the real information. They dont deserve to be kept in the dark until theyre old enough to realize by themselves that they misjudged a whole situation or even a WHOLE PARENT because everything was too sugarcoated and covered up. I'm not saying they need every single detail about it but theydo deserve to have at least the truth. Coming from someone who learned things a little too late.
@@unlovabla literally those kids could have made that the crux upon which they stopped trusting their mom/felt neglected by her and it wasn’t even her fault after she busted her ass to try and give them christmas
The leaving the girlfriend to go play games story: So my boyfriend brought me to a high school friends wedding when we first started dating. I had to work during the day from the hotel room so he hung out and helped him get things ready for the wedding but then that night was the bachelor party. I did not have expectations to go because it’s a bachelor party. I had planned on ordering food and watching tv in the hotel room that night but my boyfriend told his buddies I’m not leaving her alone. I brought her and I don’t want to leave her alone in a strange city by herself. He brought me to the party. I was the only girl at their bachelor poker game and they were all cool with it because they all knew I was alone. It’s no big deal if you’re not an AHole. I truly appreciated being taken without asking. I felt important and included. And now his childhood buddies know me and my poker skills lol. Like I said.. it’s no big deal if you’re not an AHole.
Way to agree to ruin an amazing not just a guys night, but a damn bachelor party. If you had just a little self reapect and respect towards the future groom, you woyld insist on the boys to be boys and mind your own business like you already planned. You both are assholes made for eachother ❤️
you guys being so cofused by the hitchhiker´s guide to the galaxy-references was a delight :D It´s an amazing book series and tehre was a very succesful movie as well. "42" and "deep thought" and the WHOLE towel thing are very famous references
It's a fantastically funny piece of media that you can enjoy any way! Most well known as a novel, it's also been a radio play, a BBC TV series, a movie, an impossible computer game...
I love this show so much, but as someone who lives in Japan and is part of a Japanese family, I find it difficult to hear y’all talk about the couple with the Japanese girlfriend. Lauren and Justin sound like they’ve never had to negotiate another culture.
So, I'm seeing in my notifications that Lauren responded to this, but it's not here now that I am. In case you're reading this, Lauren, I really appreciate you wanting to learn more. Based on my experience as an American living with my in-laws, I'd agree with what I've seen some of the others in the comments here say--it isn't common to directly address conflict in Japan. It is possible that the girlfriend interpreted the boyfriend's desire to not be with her the whole time as not wanting her to be there at all. Especially when it comes to emotional topics, the communication often becomes less and less direct. As an American, I've found it really frustrating when faced with it myself. But it seems unfair when you enter an intercultural relationship to expect the other person to get on your cultural wavelength (obviously this goes both ways). Just because the boyfriend may not have considered the way his actions could be interpreted doesn't make her perspective the wrong one (I'm not saying his is wrong either. They just need to work at balancing the cultural expectations better). It's just easier to see it his way because our cultural alignment is more similar to his. Not sure if that makes sense, but that's how I see it.
@@makenna5883 I love them love the show but so often it feels so tone deaf especially culturally could really do with diversifying the people on the show more particularly if they are going to talk about those kinds of issues it comes off as so ignorant sometimes
I'm literally so mad at Lauren's reaction to the Christmas story. It was so hard to listen to. That extremely super hero mom deserves a fing break, imagine the stress of carrying around a dead beat.
Towel Story: I have a feeling her shutting down like this isn’t just because of the towel. They way he doubles down on his position makes it seem he has done similar things before. He described her as low maintenance in general. I’m sure she didn’t go from 0-60 over one incidence. He probably has a pattern of behavior and this was just the final straw.
Totally got that impression too! I kinda get annoyed with Justin always saying communicate. When you’re done with someone, you’re done. There comes a point where they’re not worth you words anymore. I believe this was the case, especially with the bf’s replies to comments.
Culture culture culture! My partner is also from Japan and he would also find that to be extremely disrespectful. Christmas is seen as going as a couple and therefore you do everything as a couple. It’s a very romantic time in Japan. While I also think it’s kind of a shitty thing to do, the extra cultural layer of this makes it even worse. I understand why she’s so upset.
And even without the cultural specificity here, whey would she want to stay with his family during the holidays, and she would be justified to be wondering what the big deal is about that it has not be ONLY THE BOYS, are they bringing strippers/sex workers…she should reconsider that relationship.
@marianadineva14 That's a pretty big leap to assume that there would be strippers just because it is a boys' night. I have girls' nights pretty regularly and I'm glad my husband understands that those nights are to nurture my friendships. It has nothing to do with "strippers" lol.
SAME. if she wouldnt have said he took the money her kids would have blamed her. After busting my ass to make xmas happen and having it TAKEN from me.. I would have told the kids the truth as well. She did everything she could and she should not be punished for this.
Absolutely. What was the alternative? Her taking the blame as the sole bread winner for Christmas being bad AGAIN this year instead of being honest about what the real reason behind the whole thing was? I don't think either way of finding out how lousy your father is, is less traumatic. Trauma will not come from the mother being blunt about the father wrongdoings, it will come from them growing up and finding out that their father stole money that he did not earn, that the mother (alone) worked hard for and he did not care how it would affect them as a family. It's not okay to blame the trauma on the mother bc it's damned if she does damned if she doesn't! Whether she's honest about the whole thing or not, the children will still have a hard time with this situation and it all comes down to the fact that what the father, and only the father did, was wrong. Absolutely not the asshole!
SERIOUSLY! The wife literally facing abuse from the husband's family and going through so much stress. The way society expects mom's to be perfect, not have breakdowns and outbursts is crazy. Like Laurens take on this was absolutely garbage. Yeah.. the mother working her ass off to make up for her deadbeat husband is the one that's selfish. Ya ok.
i actually think morgan has a hard time being disagreed with and will be condescending while trying to prove her point. like how she started to dog deeper into the guy's account after being disagreed with. justin and lauren looked uncomfy and from binging her videos its something i've picked up on.
@@samdesoto3211 I think we all do that though lol if I believe something to be true I will fact check it to see so I don’t see it as condescending but we can agree to disagree 🤷🏻♀️😉
Lauren and me are going to fist fight if she keeps justifying this man’s actions because of “pressure”. He’s an adult dead beat POS, and I’ve IS terrible. Period.
My husband is from Tunisia and when we go back to visit we have to talk about the schedule because being back he wants to see his friends that are halfway across the world (We live in Oregon). I struggle speaking with his family despite knowing conversational french; it's having two parties speaking their second language is awkward. But I have to remember that he spends most of the year with me and culturally it's awkward to bring me along to an all guys trip to the beach or cafe. So by talking about time division before the trip it helps immensely, the first couple times I felt very alone, but now I'm great friends with his mom and sister so I don't mind it but it did feel super awkward. But that language and cultural barrier was a huge issue.
I love the outtakes that you guys present, but it shows it's kind of hard for you to comprehend the stories with emotional reactions when it comes to cross-cultural relationships. Probably because you never had that experience and it's totally fine, but communication it's not that straightforward when you have so fundamental differences in the way you express yourself and what it's ok or not to explicitly voice because of your culture, so "just communicate" it's not something to throw so lightly 'cause it's not that straightforward as it might seem. Nice to see you guys and I loved the costumes!
kids should know the truth about their parents and if the father was the one who ruined their Christmas they should know, mom had every right to tell them the truth. If they asked should she have lied to them? i don’t see how this could be seen as “bad mouthing” since she simply told her kids the truth
The Japanese one: I agree with Morgan. It also sounds like the girlfriend may have a fearful avoidant attachment style, hence why she might be quick to decide not to go on the trip all together to avoid the disappointment of it all and to avoid feeling abandoned on the trip
Fun fact, in Japan Christmas time is more commonly celebrated as a romantic holidays for couples. Might explain the Japanese girlfriend’s reaction to her boyfriend wanting to spend time away from her during the holidays.
The first story screams micro aggression and he might fetishize his girlfriend more than respect her. A lot of biracial women go through relationships where it stems from fetishism and their partners do these little things to control their “ethnic side”. The towel in this story, my friend’s partner wouldn’t let her have lotion or coconut oil, another didn’t want her go out too much in the sun.
never been more against lauren than in the story abt the husband STEALING money... the husband is NOT in a hard place. his brother needs to pay his own child support and not rely on others. there is no "two sides", the husband STOLE to help his deadbeat brother.
Story 4 triggers me i don’t think she’s a asshole at all it was her money she saved for their kids!! She shouldn’t be paying someone else’s child support both brothers need to get their act together
i feel like with the "leaving the girlfriend out of plans" one is a little weird to me only because she is TRAVELING with him somewhere and he wants to not include her in an entire night of plans? idk that feels weird to me. If they were in their own town and that was the case it would be totally normal to me. but staying apart over night when you've traveled somewhere together? that isnt cool to me. he definitely should have done the fly ahead option first if at all. shes not being uncompromising shes just upset hes intentionally making plans without her as if that wouldnt affect her at all. id be upset too tbh.
As someone who grew up and still deal with parents who did that back and forth blaming shit and then telling us, it was horrible. It felt like they were only doing it out of spite, not to actually and generally inform us of something. I can sympathise not wanting your kids to think you ruined christmas cause you're the one who bring home the money, but I know for a fact, no kid is actually thinking that. If you sat them down and told them that you are financially struggling, those kids would understand, if your kids aren't spoilt, all they truely want is a happy family and love, it doesn't matter what material things you can give them. They can also have so many christmas memories without a lot of money involved. She does have a right to be pissed at her husband but its not her right to put that on the kids, they are not your therapist, they don't want to hear you shit talk their other parent, it puts them is such an uncomfortable situation cause they love both parents and you're trying to use them to pin them against their other parent. Plus, those kids are most likely blaming themselves now cause they think they've put you in so much stress about christmas for them. Never talk bad about you childs other parent to them, especially at that age, they can find out on their own, you have just got to be the parent that is there for them and loves them.
Totally agree. The husband was the biggest aHole no question asked but yelling it at the kids clearly wasn't the move. I understand saying things on the spot out of spite, but her not realizing how bad it was even afterwards is kind of a problem in my opinion. I feel for her though because that relationship seem so stressful.
I completely agree. I grew up with this too and parents don’t realize how much this continues to affect their children later in life. While the husband was an asshole her telling the kids definitely stressed them out and made them feel like they’re responsible for their parents problems. When I heard that the mom told the kids out of spite about what the father did, I felt so triggered. In my opinion it was way worse than anything he couldn’t done. Lesson of the story: leave you kids out of it, don’t try to win their affection over the other parent even if the other parent is shitty, let them love who they want to, and remember at the end of the day they just want to have two parents that are kind and love them.
I was an RA in college and I had a resident flip all of the apartment furniture over and trash the whole place cause his roommate used his towel. Don’t mess with the towel
In regards to the dude with (I assume) Japanese girlfriend and Justin’s inquiry about communication-Japanese people in general have a very round-about way of communicating. From my own experience dating a Japanese guy and seeing a bunch of friends dating Japanese girls, they rarely ever say anything directly, especially if it is something they are unhappy about. I, as well as my other foreign friends, have had to literally drag stuff out of our Japanese friends so we could understand each other correctly. Obviously, there are exceptions, but it mainly just depends on what that specific Japanese person’s experiences are. Also, in Japan, Christmas is a couple’s holiday, not a family one. Additionally, Christmas is not as important in Japan as it is in America. In the states, most people get off and most places shut down. In Japan, it’s any other day. I.e. No day off, no closing.
Exactly, especially for japanese people Christmas is such a romantic holiday, they usually spend it with their parteners. Plus i don't understand how he's saying stuff like "oh she won't understand the game", she learned a whole nother language, however it looks like he hasn't tried learning Japanese at all, instead he just likes to complain.
@@xpurpletearsxbla It is negligent. The idea that “America is first” or “America is number one” has installed a self-centered mentality in most Americans (most white Americans at least), which has resulted in most Americans becoming severely stunted and being totally ok with that-some even perceiving their ignorance as a resource or advantage. Very few people venture out of their bubble. Of course, all this can be said of any person anywhere.
for the second story, if u have friends or a partner where english isnt their first language you would understand this concern. even my boyfriend who has been speaking english for 15 years struggles and is overwhelmed sometimes in certain situations, its not calling someone dumb its just being aware of time and place.
Exactly with my husband it’s the same. He can definitely defend himself in English but even with uno or monopoly he feels behind with all the native speakers…
THIIIIISSSSS I already left a comment but my bf of native speaker German and I have been living and studying and working in Germany for 6 years and I can with all confidence say board games are HARD when playing with natives specially when they constantly play together (like my bf and his friends) and they have their made up rules. I played Catan with them ONCE and I had such a headache afterwards. I just simply cannot imagine myself in the position to having to play D&D or sth with them (even if they are really nice and really welcoming when I have played with them)
@@palomaaguilera8315 oh my lord if they were playing dnd she probably wouldn’t even have fun anyway. Because it’s all about talking. Also if she did come she would honestly probably make the playing time take even longer because she doesn’t know how to make a character or honestly play the game. Also with dnd dependant upon the campaign you can only have so many players, so either she’s just not going to play and just sit there or she’s going to take up someone else’s spot.
People tend to pack towels when they go places like what I don’t get why he’s making such a big deal out of it and acting like the whole family is just going to start pointing and laughing at them. Towels can be different like micro fiber, cotton or a bamboo one. He’s being weird and rude
The japanese gf story, I 100% get her. I get along great with my bfs family and they are all rly nice but I have anxiety and the thought of having to be with his family alone is still very scary and uncomfortable. I also dont think it would be very fun to travel that far on my own. In that situation I would have prefered to join the game night, it would give me the chance to get to know his friends more and games are always fun. He could have asked his friends to bring their gfs too.
@@kelseyw4330 lmaoo yeah I can understand how ppl without anxiety might think shes overreacting but when you struggle with that you know how uncomfortable situations like that truly are
The story about the dad taking Christmas money for his irresponsible little brother makes me feel sick! I wouldn’t give a shit about my brother and his kid! Ah the thought of someone taking my children’s Christmas away for someone else’s kid makes me so angry I completely understand why she did what she did why should them kids think she hasn’t prioritised them when she worked so hard to!
As someone who was raised by a single mom, I couldn’t care less what happens to my father, but I came to that conclusion on my own. My mother never once talked shit about him. She did tell it to me straight though, she said my father left her when he found out she was pregnant with me. That’s it. She didn’t say anything else, if I asked her about him she would give me an honest answer, she said he was a fun person, he liked to party, he had a motorcycle, etc. I grew up with literally 0 feelings about my father. When I was older she told me her entire side of the story, after I asked her. And when I asked her if she still had his number, 14 years later, she immediately looked for her old notebooks and found his dad’s phone number. The only reason I wanted to contact him was to see if I had any siblings, cuz it’s not their fault and even if they’re half siblings, I still wanted to meet them. It turned into me and my mom traveling over there for my quinceañera party, so that him and his family could meet me and be a part of what’s considered a pretty big event. I met him and at first I was delighted, but then I started seeing all of this man’s flaws. It’s been 7 years now and I simply refuse to speak to him. I have no feelings for him at all, he could win the lottery or he could die and I would have the same feelings I have for a stranger, either “good for you” or “well damn”
If I was the GF in the second story, I would've probably reacted in the same way. I wouldn't want to be in a situation where I wasn't comfortable with the people I was around with no way to escape for possibly 24 hours, potentially even longer depending on the bf and his friends. Also I have really bad anxiety about flying and definitely would not want to fly alone. Also do to personal experiences, if I find myself dreading the trip I would just prefer to stay home. There are always other holidays too.
loving you guys not knowing any of the hitchhikers guide references lmao, those comments you read and even the 42 upvotes are inside jokes from the book
I agree with Lauren and Justin on the games story. I’d be upset if they wanted me to stay at the house without them, but him saying that he could go early is so reasonable. The holidays being an emotional time isn’t a good enough excuse for me
Highly recommend: Aquis hair towel life changing especially for the frizz! It's not even that huge 🤣 why did he make such a big deal bout it ?? He is DTA. I bring my towel everywhere with me if I travel, it's not like we're wearing it it out bro.. 🙄 just for him to go out of his way to do that is the problem!!
I knew the towel story would make it here lol. Dude is ridiculous, I have two of those towels and always bring one with me when I travel, and my husband even reminds me not to forget it.
idk if someone has said it yet, but Christmas in Japan is essentially like a different type of valentines day. It is expected that you would share that with your girlfriend / partner. How would you feel if your boyfriend left you in a strange country on your own and then ditched you on valentines day. I understand it is not exactly like Valentines day, but it is a very important relationship day from what I've been told from friends that are from Japan.
Yes, and not to mention it's a general holiday??? And her family is across the world, so he's the only one she knows there??? Being alone on a holiday meant to celebrate with loved ones is just a disrespectful option.
RE the towel: I have that towel and no, not curly hair. It takes my waist length hair from drying time of 2hrs to 15 min or less, few snarls, and fewer flyaways. I can 1000% tell when i don't use it. Leave alone the 42 reasons towels are important--those microfiber hair towels are MAGIC.
Honestly maybe the first guy, is just somehow jealous of that towel now and how important it is to her. He's a douche to have tried and keep it a secret that he took it out of the luggage without her knowing. ITS A TOWEL!!! I don't get it. And from his replies I don't think even, he does or ever will see why it was messed up.
I can understand the girlfriend going to her boyfriend's family house. My husband used to do that to me all the time. We would go to his parents for the holidays and he would always leave me to hunt the whole time.
This doesn’t sound pick me at all? If my partner brought me HIS family’s house to stay for a week then I’d be pretty upset if he left my for the majority of the week to go hunting? If you want to go hunting then plan a hunting trip? Don’t go during my vacation when we’re supposed to be spending time together with family. And if he has to go that week then Awesome, do that, I’ll be at my parents house enjoying the holiday with my own family and not left to feel awkward and imposing on his family. I love his family but I would feel all that comfortable spending a week with them on my own.
@@xpurpletearsxbla why are you all in these comments pressed about people being in a healthy relationships and attacking the women, you need serious help ❤️
I agree 100% with the mom telling her kids what the dad did. He allowed himself to be manipulated by his family to save his irresponsible brother's ass (which incidentally is only enabling that brother to continue his irresponsibility). And he is actually defending his position? She's keeping their entire household afloat and he's obviously selfish and lazy. He knew what that money was for. Maybe she should've told the kids AFTER calming down, but damn...I would've told them. I have 5 kids. If they're watching me bust my butt to ensure we eat and have a roof over our heads, they're gonna know why they're not getting Christmas this year.
With the first one, the towel, op even says his girlfriend is very low maintenance and takes almost no time to get ready, the only thing shes bothered about is this towel. If that's her one thing let her have it!! It means nothing to you and any woman in your family (when you go to stay with them) would understand the importance of bringing something important to them on a trip that makes them feel confident.
I think people in the comments are getting worked up over story 4 but they missed an important part: all of them, including Lauren, considered the husband an asshole. They almost skipped the discussion because it's kinda obvious, so they talked about another point that is also valid: the fact that the mom was showcasing not great behaviour. I agree with them that what she said wasn't right. That does not mean the husband was right. It's two different things. Morgan even pointed out how the mom said that because she is under a lot of pressure (which is 100% true), but that does not excuse putting the children under the heat.
Yesss. Think this is what we were trying to convey :))
Yes. You nailed it.
We get it the dad is an asshole. The mother was wronged and if I were her I would be furious- and I probably would be honest with my kids about what happened. But if I yelled it to them in the middle of a fight with my husband.. I wouldn’t feel good about that. The husband was an asshole and what he did was wrong but I went easy on him because I have a niece and if someone told me I couldn’t see her again I would be devastated- so I considered that he may have experienced extreme desperation in the moment. Again-doesn’t make it okay.
It is very disheartening to see some people try to label me as misogynistic for this take and I appreciate you speaking up and sharing a more positive interpretation.
@@Lauren-ib3ok Honestly, I agree with you! I think the post is written in a way that the mother gets the validation she wants, not exactly to tell the whole story. I think the husband is an asshole for spending the money, but would we feel different if he had quit his job because he's depressed? His family is being an asshole for asking for the money, but does that excuse the mother telling the kids it's his fault? I don't think so.
I think people are being very quick to jump to the conclusion you are mysoginistic, when in reality you're being empathetic. Maybe you're being "too hard" on the mother because you put yourself in her shoes, take parenting seriously and you'd be hard on yourself too. At the same time, you're putting yourself in the husband's shoes, and that is also valid. People are interpreting that as being "too easy" on him. Even if you had internalized misogyny (hey, it's something we all can learn about and get better), the people in the comments aren't leaving constructive criticism. I wanted to comment because I listen to this podcast a lot and I think you have very interesting takes, that people should try to understand better before jumping to conclusions. The podcast would not be the same without you, I hate seeing people wanting you off it just because they disagree.
(sorry if I made spelling mistakes, English is not my first language)
7
@@dudacanever5440 Your English is perfect! And thank you for sharing your thoughts 💓
I will say that I genuinely regret using the word selfish to describe what she said to her kids because being a mother in itself is SELFLESS
and being a mother working your ass off to give your children a Christmas is most definitely a selfless act.
Sure I can say from my experience as a kid that it would be more appropriate for her to address the issue with her kids differently but I haven’t been a mother so I may very well have done the exact same thing she did if I was at my wits end.
Being raised by a single mother of four- I have the most respect for mothers and I do regret/ am sorry I didn’t use the opportunity to highlight that.
Again I really appreciate you, Duda! Happy holidays love ♥️
For the first story: the fact that he said “she’s biracial but I don’t see how that matters” shows that he doesn’t need to be dating a biracial woman in the first place. If he doesn’t even the slightest inkling as to why messing up a biracial Woman’s hair routine is problematic or might be why she cares so much about the towel he is completely ignorant of anything about race and what his gf must go through.
Yes! I rolled my eyes and shook my head when she read that comment from him. I'm not biracial, but I have enough biracial people and other people of color in my life to know why it matters. It's so important to have the right products to care for your hair, especially for textured and/or curly hair. Also I have a towel specifically for my hair, and even though my hair is short, I still use it. I don't see why it's weird to have a hair towel? I really hope she doesn't go back to him because he doesn't deserve her.
Honestly, he has no business dating anyone if he can't take the time to understand his partners wants and needs
Exactly my thoughts!!
I need every single human being to understand that race is in everything and it’s everywhere. Closing your eyes to the nuances of race, ethnicity, etc. is ignoring the experiences of millions of people. Which is why so many people go without justice or their human rights, even if it’s just the right to exist in peace. Open your eyes! Race, unfortunately, is always relevant, and that was 100% made to be the case on purpose.
@@mcsaism yes 👏🏻
Girlfriend has curly hair. It’s really important to use a microfiber towel for your hair when your hair is naturally curly. It helps with frizz. Seems weird but it’s a big deal.
Even if you don’t have curly hair, get one. They’re life changing.
v big deal!
I don’t understand why it’s weird 🙃
True ,i would be so mad ITS A BIG DEAL
I thought the same thing
I asked my husband if I had a special towel that was ONLY for my hair would he find it odd. His response “Why would I care about a towel? Are you asking for one?”
"Are you asking for one?" Awww how cute!
Your husband passed the vibe check
Lol that’s so cute! You’ve got a keeper :)
Aw this is so sweet 🥺
So sweet.
Its not up to ANYONE else to pay someone's child support.... PERIOD. Family or not.
This!! Literally not anyone else responsibility. His brother needs to get his shit together.
what i didnt understand is why the whole family is putting the responebility in him who is unemployed with 3 kids, why isnt his parents helping or some other reletives who is better off. just dont get why his family acts like its gonna be his fault if they cant see the kid.
@@animelover1705 it sounded like the entire family had and it was now his family's turn to. But I dont see how a family could put the stress on another family member to pay a bill that isnt theirs, when they don't have a job to pay it in the first place. Also, if a court agreement has been made, usually holidays are shared. I dont think the mom could hold the kid away if he didnt pay child support. (Maybe I'm wrong, I dont know all state regs for child support.) Just all together a really unfortunate situation.
Exactly!! I don’t think the mom was wrong for telling her kids. I would wanna know if my dad picked someone else’s kid instead of his own family. Especially when the dad wasn’t even working
@@animelover1705 That. There is something weird going on in this family
The disrespect from the boyfriend in the first story is so frustrating. Like what does the girlfriend having the towel hurt? He's just a jerk.
Not only taking the towel shows how disrespectful he is. But if I understand correctly he texted her although she asked for space. Like I know waiting for a moment to apologize or even discuss the situation is frustrating. But not respecting her wish for space just doesn’t help. I could see that she hasn’t answered yet just because she feels pushed and furthermore disregarded by him.
The first bf is giving me "I don't see color" vibes. As a person in an interracial relationship, it is so important to me that my partner is cognizant about the fact that we come from different cultures. After 2 years of dating he doesn't know what the towel is for? He literally said he didn't know why her being a different race mattered in a conversation about her hair? I would be willing to bet that this girl has been existing entirely in his culture while he probably doesn't even recognize that she has a different culture and even if he did I doubt he would see it as important enough for him to learn about or acknowledge. Miss me with that.
👏👏👏
Yes. All of this! Dude is oblivious.
He knew its a hair towel, he is just one of these people who uses 1 towel for face, body and ass and think she is cray cray for having different habbits. Its said why she uses the towel, no mystery here, she explained to him❤️🙏
that’s what i said! i think she needs to run and fast
when he said he worried his family might be embarrassed about her towel i was rly sad and already felt intuitively that she was non-white. like why else would a guy get the idea that his family would laugh at his gf? it must be that the gf is already somehow different from them and something small like the towel habit could already cause them to mock the relationship. well what could her otherness be? it must be they're white & she isn't, i thought...
I agree with Morgan for story #4. How is he so pressured by his family to give them money but not pressured to get a job. I think the kids walked in on her having a breakdown. She probably was so excited to do this for them & he stole it from her/them. I’m sure the kids know by now their dad is a bum. They’ll be more messed up by their mom staying with a bum than their one responsible parent having one outburst.
exactly, she shouldn’t have said it to the kids but she worked so hard for that money and he stole it. he literally stole christmas from his kids. i would be devastated
I 100% agree with Morgan. Sure, she shouldn't have said that to her kids like that, but she definitely had a breakdown and just blurted it out. I'm sure she's going to regret just saying it like that later on
That husband sounds like she has a fourth child to take care of. Maybe it's cold to say this but she should drop his ass if he doesn't get his shit together 🙄
His kids didn’t get christmas for 2 YEARS because of him. He’s the worst father alive to steal their christmas for a 3rd year.
@@AriiAniaismyname kids probably came in too because they heard mum freaking out.
Something that bugs me so much about the woman who’s husband stole the Christmas money is that his terrible actions are being overshadowed by her outburst. I can’t imagine how much stress she’s under. What she said wasn’t great, that’s for sure. It probably caused some damage but not nearly as much damage as the husbands theft and refusal to work. He is trying to twist the negative attention towards her and he’s a loser for that.
Typical narcissistic abuse. Abuse and degrade until your supply snaps and then, bam! Now the supply is the bad guy. Abusers don’t get to shame the abused for lashing out at the pain of abuse. SMH.
Plus, he went to tattletale on her to his family. And now they’re bullying her ?!?!? They ALL stole money from her and her kids but they think her saying the truth was worse than stealing.
And he had no motivation or passion to work. Umm your kids should be your motivation to work.
Agree with all of these comments. It is sooo easy to say from the outside that she could’ve responded better regarding the kids. Yes, of course she has, but she’s not the problem here. Her getting burnt out and not using her own gas mask is the result of the husband not doing enough.
She is definitely not the bad guy I was a little annoyed by them calling her shellfish! She sounds like she working her ass off!
What got me about it is it wasn't a small amount $500! Like how far behind was this guys brother on child support and "contribute and pay part" that tells me other family also had to help. Doesn't sound like the nephew's mom is the issue sounds like that whole family needs to get themselves into the trash.
This comment is about the guy with the Japanese girlfriend. From what I've heard in the past (no idea if it's true) Christmas in Japan tends to be a couple holiday more than the family focus holiday it is in the US, so that could be adding to the girlfriend's hurt feelings.
So good to know. I’d love to learn more about cultural differences if people have takes on it 😊
@@TwoHotTakes Kat is right, that definitely is the case! Christmas is for couples, and not even really a proper holiday in Japan. I'd also like to add, that although I totally appreciate Justin and his opinions on the takes, his comment "just communicate" is a bit entitled in this case. I worked and lived in the US for a few years and have been brought up bilingual, but for the majority of my life I have been speaking another language. Everytime I had a conflict with my American roommates or got upset I had trouble finding the appropriate words or articulating myself and my words were thrown back at me as reasons for being patronizing or having a bad attitude because for the rest of the time my English "is so good"... It drove me crazy to not be able to communicate properly when it was most important, so there is the possibility that this aspect added to the stress the girlfriend felt anyways.
@User572 exactly what I was thinking, it looks like he didn't spend a single day trying to learn her language, instead he just expects the GF to know English 100%??? That's so weird...
@@TwoHotTakes I feel like in this story there's a lot of cultural differences between the 2 people despite being together for 2 years. I appreciate Justin's comments about communicating with each other however it has to be noted that the Japanese culture of communicating is very different to the Western way of communicating. They tend to try and please the other person and rarely say anything directly, it seems like it is a very image-focused culture which I think is why the situation panned out like it did.
Also, misogyny is still a very prominent issue in Japanese culture, she might not want to voice her own opinions because of it. On top of that, he also seems to be a white person which just added another level of superiority in her eyes, because they are very glorified. So I think this whole story is just attributed to his lack of understanding of her culture and ignorance to it.
@User572 i'm so sorry to hear that, they didn't deserve u.
The guy saying she can communicate, she did. It’s weird of him to do that behind her back. The fact she’s biracial makes it completely different because now it feels like it’s definitely a micro aggression and some kind of weird control thing. She’s not being a baby.
100% a micro aggression. Like he sees her as an ‘other’ and is trying to get her to assimilate to his idea of ‘normal’.
@@dancedanceCRASH its the fact that he said he would be embarassed if his family saw
i knew the moment he said something about his family being embarrassed that his gf must somehow be "different" from them already. like i figured she prob isn't white and the boyfriend feels like the towel accentuates her non-whiteness..
That’s a macro aggression. other people might not notice a difference in her hair after the towel being removed from her routine, but to her, she probably thought she looked a mess in front of his family. Not only did he not realize and recognize her differences, in a way he used them to embarrass her in-front of his family.
Exactly, like he admits that she's clearly explained to him before why she needs this specific towel he just chooses to ignore her feelings and sneakily does what he wants because her hair "looked fine before" as a way to justify him ignoring boundaries.
And then he continues to ignore her boundaries when she explicitly tells him through text "I'm mad and I need some space" by constantly texting/calling her. Like she isn't answering back because he refuses to give her the space she asked for so if anyone is "acting like a child" it's him because he seems to believe he's entitled to both her personal property and her personal space.
no body:
justin: "wheres the communication?" "there's no communication here" "COMMUNICATE!!!"
Right? You need to realize that sometimes you can only communicate so much. Sometimes people just don’t listen! Or disregard you!
I love justin’s emphasis on communication though, so many people seem to blame others for not being able to read their mind, or they arnt willing to meet their partners halfway. clearly communicating how you feel and coming to the table to compromise or understand eachother is the only sustainable way for a relationship to survive.
Of course communication is important in any relationship. It’s how we bond. But communication is a two way street. If someone is telling you they feel xyz about something and you choose to ignore it (like towel guy) then you are the problem. A partner can only express their grievances so much before they realize they aren’t being heard.
@@larkavoice5588 100%
I just had my baby a month ago and when she wakes up in the middle of the night ( multiple times) I watch you guys while I feed her you guys keep this new mama sane 🥲
CONGRATULATIONS!! So glad we can keep you company ❤️
Congrats! And same here. My little guy is almost 3 months old. I do the same. Discovered their channel when he was in the NICU.
@@imjustanasshlesometimes3488 my babygirl was in the Nicu to your a strong mama!!
@@TwoHotTakes thank you!!! ♥️
Same!! But twins!
As a kid who grew up in the uneven responsibility dynamic from their parents, I always wanted to know. I always made sure to appreciate my mother because I knew she was the one providing for the whole house. My dad did nothing. Couldn’t keep a job, refuse to “babysit” us, spent most of the time and his buddies’ places. My mom left him when I was 7, but only once ever blew up about it, and that argument was what led her to file for divorce. What I’m trying to say is, the mother saying that to the kids is wayyyyy less traumatic (actually wasn’t traumatic at all for me because we had known that our mom was the one keeping a roof over our heads) than having to live with a father who clearly doesn’t care. I would honestly be more upset if I thought my mom was going to pull through with all this and then didn’t, because I have trust in my mother. Being told that my dad spent the money literally wouldn’t phase me because that’s all he does anyways, it’s expected. Anyways, gotta agree with Morgan. Poor mom had a breakdown, and it honestly is justified.
Same, I was the happiest when my parents divorced. He and the stress he was putting my mom through was literally killing her. Wanting to not hear the truth about a deadbeat is trash. I didn’t disown my dad because of the stuff my mom said, I disowned him because I saw that everything my mom said about him turned out to be true.
Story 4 had me livid and hearing Lauren say she selfish just sent me. Like did we just hear the same story? That dad should of told his family he's broke and has nothing to give. There is nothing in this world that get me to steal money ment for my kids point blank. These kids know what a dead beat their father is. This wouldn't surprise them but if they thought their mother had ruined Christmas I think that would have been worse.
No, Lauren is right. OP was selfish. You NEVER bring your kids into arguments with your spouse. OP was being vindictive and gross. Her husband is right, this borderline emotional incest (which is a thing) will do more damage to her kids than missing out on Christmas.
OP needs to not be talking to her kids about their financial situation.
The husband in an asshole, too. ESH in my opinion. If OP hadn't told her kids like that, it would be NTA.
@@ghosty8193 okay I agree she shouldn't have said it but I understand why she did. She was so over it, she tried her level best to give her children the Christmas they deserve but the husband got in the way of things. Don't think she was selfish though but I do think she could've said it better
@@ghosty8193Nothing about that story screamed emotional incest.
I told my older son we were leaving his dad because he has a drug addiction. I was told I should not have done that and dragged him into our situation. He is now 21 years old and told me the other day that he was glad I told him that. He was glad I was open with him about the fact that his father is, and has always been a crappy dad. I always want to be honest with my kids.
As a kid who also went through this, thank you for being an honest parent. My mom never tried to cover for her husbands shite behavior and when we left we knew what was up. You’re a great mom ❤️
I'm the child of a drug addict. The only reason I found out is because my brother told me when I was 22. I'll never know if/when my mom was ever planning on telling me, and that is a horrible feeling. You did the right thing
Curly biracial girl here... Drying and plopping hair w/ the microfiber towel is super important. Also, if she is going to use gel, leave in conditioner or mousse, she may not want to ruin your family's nice towels because those products can leave residue.
especially if she has a lot of hair
@allison♡ th-cam.com/video/ljA01dRsuT8/w-d-xo.html
@allison♡ wrapping your hair up in a towel, although I find that it disrupts the curl pattern
@@gabyalva1028 it sort of does so i only plop for about an hour just to let my hair dry a bit before diffusing. my hair takes foreverrrr to dry otherwise.
I'm sorry but I wouldn't be paying anyone else child support. He literally stole from her. It wasn't his money to take. Telling the kids that was definitely the wrong thing to do. But still f him for doing that bs in the first place. 🙄
✨STORY TIMESTAMPS✨
Story 1 - 0:03:30
Story 2 - 0:17:55
Story 3 - 0:37:45
Story 4 - 0:48:28
Story 5 - 1:08:00
Story 6 - 1:14:28
Ty
Saint✝️
You are a gorgeous human
@@angelahogg6481 you’re so sweet, thank you 😭
My hero!!!
Lauren's comment on the 4th story is INFURIATING. The mom worked so hard to try and give her kids a nice Christmas and the husband took that away from them. Like, how is that the mom's fault?!
Agreed. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but not all opinions are valid. Ppl without kids who have never been in a financially abusive marriage have no idea the feeling that mother went through. I have and I would never let myself absorb the blame. I would not lie to my kids to save their father and have them blame me. Lauren's opinion was absolutely moronic.
@@rocked13 as a adult who as a kid heard such things about my father form my mom's mouth - I wish she never told me it. This forced me to grew up so fast. She told me about every girl she cheated her with, about every financial struggle and jus everything. This can seems like an 1 time situation outburst but what if kids will think that this is their fault that parents argue? Because they wanted Christmas and they saw mother working hard. They will be scared to ask about everything or it can in different way and they can start hate their own father. As a person who done so - it is not healthy and leads to many issues and traumas later on. Words and feelings are powerful. Even one such comment can change their life and she should talk with them why she said so. Kids want just to be loved, they do not care so much about a prezents
@@kimjimi4639 i would disagree with you. As a child raised by single-mom. I regret not knowing how shitty my dad is and how bad he and his fam treated my mom before she left. I was bugging her why doesn’t she request a child support. But now I know, because she doesn’t want us to feel like we need to pay back or have a “children responsibility” towards them.
I think one key point that was missed with Japanese girlfriend is that she might not want to travel alone - at all. She might not want to fly alone and be stuck alone at his family’s or friend’s gf’s house because she has to be “working” (on and making a good impression). It’s exhausting and there’s no one on her team.
exactly
That's why he had next suggestion of booking a private air bnb
@@shrutikoli7174 but she’s still ALONE
@@bloodwolfbono5241 just for a day... Sometimes you can adjust for ur partner... U don't always get what you want.... You can adjust for one day in 2 weeks
@@shrutikoli7174 so then he can adjust and not leave his gf alone for a major holiday.
Lauren’s take on #4 had me like 🥴. If the husbands brother is struggling with child support he shouldn’t expect his brother who is also struggling to pay it. I don’t care what kind of pressure i got from my family. He should’ve told him that his kids come first above seeing his nephew. The lack of communication is obvious. I think ESH. The mother should apologize to her children for what she said. she’s justified at being angry but shouldn’t’ve taken it out on her kids.
I came to comment the same thing. She has the excuse of being angry. He has none. There is absolutely no reality in which your parents seeing their grandbaby comes first to your own kids. Absolutely not. Especially since it is the brother's responsibility to pay, not the unemployed husband. It also inexcusable that he took that money without telling her first. I would RUN if my husband behaved like that.
@@estefaniac233 yes! it seems like unreliable and bad fathers run in the family
Lauren definitely has the wildest takes
He stole from his wife, he knew it was wrong. Not to mention they are enabling the brother who most likely doesn't get to see his kids for a good reason. How are the kids going to react when they don't get presents?? They will find out eventually and I would tell my kids. They deserve to know. No excuse for being a crappy parent.
For the first story, she said she needed space and OP continued to try to contact her which is extra disrespectful 🙄
This!!
I’m a biracial person ( black and Mexican) and I’m sensing a lot of lack of cultural appreciation and racism honestly. He seemed embarrassed to bring her home with her towel. I am dating a white boy and I have tweaked beauty regimens to not be judge by his family like wearing a bonnet. I believe she sensed the racism as well so that’s what makes it even more upsetting
nooo dont tweak your routine to accommodate others!!! that’s YOUR routine, not theirs nor his
@@infjandcoping4614 these routines aren’t the same as wearing something like sweatpants that might seem too “slobby” tho (not that I have anything against wearing lazy clothes if you’re staying over). These are racially specific care routines. Lumping them in with stuff like wearing sweatpants around the house that aren’t seen as appropriate for these situations is a little sus. Black people already have a hard enough time with people saying their hair care / hair styles are “unprofessional” or “unkempt”. Expecting poc to compromise their body care routine specifically in the parts that are racially oriented is honestly just an extension of the stereotype that black people are somehow lazy or unprofessional and it’s very damaging and inaccurate.
Omg girl don’t do that wear that mf bonnet‼️‼️ Don’t change who you are at least wear a scarf
i’m sorry but lauren’s response on #4 has me enraged. the dad and his brother are clearly bums. the mom is working herself half to death and lauren calls her selfish? sure saying that in front of her kids wasn’t great but i don’t think it will effect them any worse than having a deadbeat dad will.
Agreed. I didn't really agree with her, especially when she started contradicting herself a bit.
okay so we have a man that don’t work and has 3 children and then has the audacity to take hundreds of dollars and give it away......Divorce. The kids should know the truth. Lying to them is not the “good” route to take. Kids deserve the TRUTH!
I almost couldnt even listen to #4. Why does everyone think that this SUPER WOMAN (who not only carried her, the husband AND 3 kids she ALSO saved enough money to habe decorations meals and presents) should take the brunt of the responsibility of the anger her children are gonna have. Those kids have been traumatized already and so has this woman. She deserved the chance to save HER face because she did everything she could to make something happen. And now the anger from those kids will be well deserved to the ASSHOLE who ruined their xmas.
1000%
Yeah and she said that the kids know that their mom is the one making Christmas happening and supporting them, if she didn't tell them it was the dads fault they would have blamed her for no christmas
I think she was in her right to be angry, but she could have communicated what happened to her kids a little better, and eviscerate her husband when they were alone. But I totally get that it’s hard to keep cool in that situation, as she had just found out and didn’t have a lot of time to think of what she should say
My parents are divorced and when I was 16 my mom accidently let it slip that my dad refused to pay for any part of my hospital bills even though I know that he has the means. I don't hold it against my mom, but it honesty traumatized me. That is why I think that the mom should have not told the kids about what happened. What she did only made things easier for her and harder for her kids. This will be something that will take them years to get over and will cause so much damage. It is not fair for the mom to have to deal with the brunt of the anger, but she should have made the choice to shield her children from the hurt even if it was at her expense.
No, Lauren is right. OP was selfish. You NEVER bring your kids into arguments with your spouse. OP was being vindictive and gross. Her husband is right, this borderline emotional incest (which is a thing) will do more damage to her kids than missing out on Christmas.
OP needs to not be talking to her kids about their financial situation.
Edit: This post is ESH imo. The husband is obviously an asshole but so it’s OP for bringing her kids into a very grown-up situation that they had no business being privy to.
Lauren’s stance on the child support story drove me crazy. Child support is supposed to come out of your money that you earn not a family charity pool. And now those kids don’t get a Christmas.
Clearly you didn't even listen to what she said
@@jesuschrist472 clearly you didn’t
@@jesuschrist472 just because your brother isn’t responsible, doesn’t mean you should be responsible for his kids
@@elenango1851 alot of people didn't listen to what she said fully. She never said he responsible for his brother child support but she said that the husband was in a hard situation with his family. But she also said that he should of had a conversation first with his wife.
Yeah the wife is fine in my eyes, they do not need to be lied to, and CS in no shape or form a reason to deny your kids a Christmas, Lauren peeved me, like the wife is selfish for what? Saving the money for the kids? Being honest with them? I'd say the same stuff, I am not lying to them for his benefit when he screwed up
Story 4: Lauren got this wrong. The mother IS NOT the asshole. She may have told the kids it was their dad's fault, but whats the alternative? They resent HER instead of their DEADBEAT dad?? Yeah that's a no for me. He had no right to do that, especially without consulting his wife who made that money.
Right I was kind of mad when she said that she’s selfish like Op said that if she didn’t say that they would’ve thought that it’s her fault that they’ve no Christmas
She's not 100% the asshole but she could've definitely handled that differently
@@alissiadodson9531 def, but I really think that it’s better for the kids to know their father’s true colors
Imagine if they would get divorced. Those kids would blame them self forever and holiday season would be traumatic season for them
Part of me thinks that at least for the 9 and 11 year old children, both parents could have just sat down and told them what happened. I saved money for Christmas this year and was really excited to celebrate with you all but daddy thought his brother needed it a little bit more than we did this year. Are you all ok if we have a nice family dinner and postpone gifts just a little bit?
Morgan is such an empath . I love how she looks deep into every situation to try and find the reason. Love her 💖💖
No absolutely not!
The mom had every right to let her kids know that he chose his family over his kids. If you are a parent your kids are over EVERYONE .
It is absolutely insane to me that yall are blaming a mother who worked her ass off to give her children money. Saying she needs to take accountability?! But not the dad gtfoh with that mentality. As a mother of 3 I would do the same if it came down to it. Fuck covering up for a man who fails to provide for his kids and manages to still take away from them😒
They were only upset with her outburst, and thought she could have broken the news better to her kids. because as a kid from divorce it isn’t fun to hear your parents badmouth, scream, and blame each other all the time. Even if it’s justified. They all clearly agreed that the dad was a grade A asshole and how it’s never right to take money from a partner and even messaged her about helping start a donation page to help her and the kids have a good Christmas
As a kid in this type of situation, I would definitely want to know. I grew up with my mom doing everything, and we all knew she was the one bringing in money, even when I was super young. Had this happened, I would feel so betrayed by my mom because it’s her I would expect stuff from, not my dad. I was already used to being disappointed by him, so thinking that my mom would do the same thing would probably break me. 100% agree with you, they should not be blaming her
@@iliterallycannot1661 Same. My mother was the breadwinner too and my father used to spend her salary without anyone knowing where it goes until it can no longer be ignored. It made me doubt him more about everything because he was and still is not transparent about things like that.
Deadbeat dads of all kinds need to be known. No woman should cover for a father that is basically divorced from providing for his family. She’s probably be better off divorcing him like his brother is now paying child support and see how he likes it. Dude is def the ahole.
Literally!!! If she needed to reprimand him in front of their children to light a fire under his ass to get his shit together and get a job, I’m glad she did. Why is it her responsibility to provide for the family, parent, homemaker, and make sure you’re being 100% cautious of the feelings of your children and husband? She’s overworked, undervalued. The story and the takes are a perfect example of how much higher of a standard women are held to than men. It’s clear by the way he doesn’t value his own children, he’s gotta be the worst husband, lover, partner, etc. divorce now.
Okay Lauren’s take on the mom being an asshole had me 😭🤢🤮🥴. Stop “normalizing” SHITTY parents. My dad was a piece of crap and did something similar to my mother. As a child. I wish my mother told me some of the shit my dad did. Bc as i got older *I* had to find out myself AND deal with it until i was legal age to cut him off. The mother isn’t a bad mother for telling her kids what their dad did bc it’s WRONG and kids will understand as long as you talk to them. That’s all on him.
Omg I totally agree. There is nothing wrong with what the mom said. The kids definitely already have an idea of how their dad is.
THANK YOU!!!!
You are right that shitty parenting should not be glorified. That being said unloading your marital issues on your children is a shitty parent move. I've worked in childcare and have studied child development. It's not good for children to hear/see/be in the middle of parental arguments. It causes a lot of issues in behaviour, emotional control, and it can have effects on learning and health. Those two parents should definitely not be together and the mother can tell her kids about it in the future and then they can decide how to react to that. However for the time being they need to deal with it as the partnership they are meant to be to the best of their abilities and work on how to co-parent separately if need be. That will be much better for the kids in the long run.
This!!
For the second story, I feel like there is a couple missing pieces of information and a whole other perspective that nobody mentioned so far, we don’t know enough abt the other time(s) his girlfriend met his parents, did they say offensive things ? Did they make her uncomfortable ? If not did she seem anxious or stressed ? Bc she could be one of the first Japanese people they’ve gotten to know personally and a lot of ppl can be overly curious and bc she’s Japanese and English is her second language there is a lot of cultural and linguistic barriers that might be hard for her to traverse with his parents,so her having to be an honorary ambassador for japan could get stressful and bothersome quickly especially if she has to do it alone, and I doubt she wants to possibly sour his parents opinion on Japanese ppl with her actions, as a black person I’ve had to be an advocate on the behalf of the black community a few times in my life and it can be stressful, also since English is her second language her “blowing up” might also be her struggling to find the words in English that could express what she feels and means to ask and say and “just communicating” might be hard for her bc she’s (according to OP) not fluent in English
This!!!
Thiiiiiiis!
53:07 she is not selfish she is not an asshole she work so hard during the year and save money for her kids Xmas so his no job dad took that away to give it to another death beat dad. I don't care if is family or they pressure me i wont take money that's not mine especially for my kids and just give it away that unfair and i would tell my kids cause if they know mommy is bring in the money they won't blame me for a bad Xmas
I agree that the dad messed up however the attitude of not wanting them to blame you for a bad Christmas is kind of selfish. As Lauren said, there a better ways it could be handled, and the way it was handled was way harder for the kids than it should have been. And it is selfish to care more about making it known it’s not your fault than making sure your kids understand the situation and are emotionally cared for during this difficult time. I agree the dad is the asshole and the kids deserve to be made aware of the situation, but you need to work it out with your spouse privately and wait to talk to your kids about it until your calmed down.
Exactly! I get where their minds are at, but as a child of divorce myself, it’s better to know. There’s a difference between shit talking your ex husband and sharing the reality of your current husband. They’ve gotta already know their dad is a deadbeat, but they might not know how hard the financial situation is and not understand why they still can’t have a normal Christmas, especially if they’ve seen the mom working so much and I’m sure her working takes some quality time away from the kids.
If you fee embarresed because of a towel, you've got way more issues. That is not normal dude.. So is taking someone's stuff. Would def be rethinking that relationship
To Lauren re: story #4 - as a mother you do everything you can to provide for your children no matter what, even when you struggle with mental health you have to power through. Her lazy ass husband had quit all his jobs bc they’re unmotivating, leaving her the burden of providing for the family. You call her selfish when you don’t know all the sacrifices she probably had to make to even set that money aside for her children. The husband is a terrible person, he doesn’t give a shit about his kids. If that’s me or my partner we would work the most degrading disgusting jobs you could think of to make sure our kids could eat, he doesn’t care about them. He isn’t noble for stealing money from his wife to give to his deadbeat brother. He doesn’t care about seeing his newphews the story says that the family wouldn’t be able to see them so they were asking him to contribute. So not only does he refuse to work to provide for his kids but he stole from them too. I would have 100% done the same thing. With a dad like that you don’t think those kids are traumatized already? Except mom has probably been taking the fault for everything this whole time so if she didn’t tell them they would resent her always. Maybe I wouldn’t have told the kids but I would’ve made him go tell them how he stole money from them so his newphews who have a deadbeat dad could have a Christmas so they can’t. But I would not have taken the fall bc kids remember that. Not to mention, this woman is probably so mentally and physically drained and you call her selfish over an outburst but give the husband a pass when literally all of his actions have been selfish and none of hers were. As a mom, it was infuriating to listen to this story and the takes because it is always the mom who is blamed for everything regardless of her selflessness and men get away with at all.
Not to mention she is the one who takes the brunt of the Christmas shopping most likely. From the sound of it she does all the work and the husband just sits there. So he not only does not have a job but stole from his wife and then acts like the victim. Besides the kids will find out eventually. How are you gonna tell them Christmas Day that they have no toys, let alone just let them come down and see nothing. It is heartbreaking for any parent to see their kids like that. Knowing your spouse was responsible for that is infuriating. He took her hard work and threw it away.
@@jaeeun5803 100% agree
@@rosemarygutierrez6747 I don't understand Lauren's stance one bit. Your children should know. Maybe don't tell them that way but you need to tell them. It would be worse if on Christmas they come downstairs and see nothing. That is heartbreaking as a mother. It's also upsetting that someone like your spouse would literally steal from you, steal!!
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Completely agree so the mother should have to what …lie, make up excuses, sell a kidney so their kids can have Christmas because of the Dad stealing from her and his own kids? No way!!! Your own kids come before your brothers and he knew he was doing something wrong or he would of discussed it with his wife first. The Dad is a POS and so is his family bullying the wife. She should tell them all to kick rocks and make sure husband could not access any of her hard earned money. Listening to Lauren call the mom selfish I was like so frustrated.
Lauren - How is your initial reaction, “she’s so selfish, she’s SO selfish” when this woman is single-handedly providing for her family? How is she the selfish one when the husband *stole* the money *she* saved for their kids’ Christmas? You said “he was doing it for family” as justification - no, he STOLE from his family. His “family” in this situation is his wife and children.
I totally understand that knee jerk reactions can be clouded by the part of the story that triggers you the most, but this one was just a bad take.
You played devil’s advocate for him, but absolutely crucified her.
Exactly this
@@jennflores1122 sha boing boing
She thinks The wife, in that situation is selfish, because the guy is under a lot of pressure dealing with his family. I disagree also, but I agree the wife is selfish. I believe she layed out this whole fight she's having with their dad, because she wants them to be mad at him, and you don't get to do that.
Either way, let's try not to be to hard on Lauren. In other stories, I have heard her being merciful and understanding toward people that the rest of us might not be. She seems truly sweet, and I'd don't know about you, but I'm not perfect, so if I did something that had everyone around me going off on me, it would sure be nice if one person told me I wasn't terrible, and it must've been really hard for me. She doesn't seem to be trying to excuse the behavior entirely, just maybe saying that he doesn't deserve all of the hellfire and brimstone he's getting.
@@brenthunter5078 doesn’t deserve all the fire & brimstone he’s getting when he stole the kids christmas for a third year, & used it for his brothers kid when his brother is probably a deadbeat just like him with excuses like “i didn’t have passion or motivation” even though your motivation/passion should be for your kids, to show up to work. Was a weak man who wouldn’t stand up against his family just throwing the problem onto him & trying to guilt him. He clearly doesn’t have it in him to be a dad & given kids are smart & probably know this already.. if you’ve ever experienced truama like this you’d understand the mom was just poorly telling the kids what actually happened. she had an outburst & had just found out and they walked in. and the kids know their dad isn’t trying or at least can feel it. they will forgive their mom & they without their mom saying it like that, still would have decided dad is at fault. he doesn’t have his priorities straight, & his kids know it. the wife had a selfish moment, the dad is selfish. Dad is the A, and mom had a human reaction after working her butt off to give her kids christmas and had their joy ripped away as well as hers. Now she has let her kids down indirectly, and even that probably hurts unimaginably. but she sounds like a sound person who would probably apologize to them later & is just caught up in her husband’s lack of remorse & essentially making her the bad guy to get rid of the fact he did something extremely messed up & betrayed his wife & kids.
I thought this too. The guy stole his wife's savings. It's not his money at all.
for the story about the dad taking $500 that was meant for xmas, i see where the mom is coming from. She said the kids knew she was the one bringing in money so they would assume it was her fault. I grew up the oldest of 5 with a shit father who couldn’t keep a job and whatever money he did have was spent on weed and my mother who is a nurse practitioner (even put my dad through massage school because he said he wanted to do that then he never even got a job as a masseuse) and i know when things went wrong (esp money wise) i subconsciously blamed her because i knew she was the one working, but she never said anything. i’m now 20 and i’m starting to see just how fucked up my dad was growing up and i wish she would’ve said something when i was younger. it’s a shit situation when you take the heat for something your deadbeat husband does and it takes a toll on the mother. the only problem i have with it is the five year old is too young.
thats what i was thinking, they read this verse of the post and just ignored it. 🥴
And like why is the dad no working why is he leeching? It wasn’t his money to take. Get a job and if he wants to use his OWN money he may. He had no right to ruin his kids Christmas
@@wackersbonkers4377 YES, also kids deserve to be treated as people and to be told the real information. They dont deserve to be kept in the dark until theyre old enough to realize by themselves that they misjudged a whole situation or even a WHOLE PARENT because everything was too sugarcoated and covered up. I'm not saying they need every single detail about it but theydo deserve to have at least the truth. Coming from someone who learned things a little too late.
@@unlovabla THIS
@@unlovabla literally those kids could have made that the crux upon which they stopped trusting their mom/felt neglected by her and it wasn’t even her fault after she busted her ass to try and give them christmas
"She doesn't like intellectual games" cut to all the boys just playing Among Us
The leaving the girlfriend to go play games story: So my boyfriend brought me to a high school friends wedding when we first started dating. I had to work during the day from the hotel room so he hung out and helped him get things ready for the wedding but then that night was the bachelor party. I did not have expectations to go because it’s a bachelor party. I had planned on ordering food and watching tv in the hotel room that night but my boyfriend told his buddies I’m not leaving her alone. I brought her and I don’t want to leave her alone in a strange city by herself. He brought me to the party. I was the only girl at their bachelor poker game and they were all cool with it because they all knew I was alone. It’s no big deal if you’re not an AHole. I truly appreciated being taken without asking. I felt important and included. And now his childhood buddies know me and my poker skills lol. Like I said.. it’s no big deal if you’re not an AHole.
Way to agree to ruin an amazing not just a guys night, but a damn bachelor party. If you had just a little self reapect and respect towards the future groom, you woyld insist on the boys to be boys and mind your own business like you already planned. You both are assholes made for eachother ❤️
@@xpurpletearsxbla This was overly aggressive for no reason.
@@xpurpletearsxbla Just no lol who hurt you? 😂 Please see a therapist.
you guys being so cofused by the hitchhiker´s guide to the galaxy-references was a delight :D It´s an amazing book series and tehre was a very succesful movie as well. "42" and "deep thought" and the WHOLE towel thing are very famous references
It's a fantastically funny piece of media that you can enjoy any way! Most well known as a novel, it's also been a radio play, a BBC TV series, a movie, an impossible computer game...
I want to upvote this, but you have 42 already....
@@amydallas4293 this comment is even better than an upvote :D
I love this show so much, but as someone who lives in Japan and is part of a Japanese family, I find it difficult to hear y’all talk about the couple with the Japanese girlfriend. Lauren and Justin sound like they’ve never had to negotiate another culture.
Yup
So, I'm seeing in my notifications that Lauren responded to this, but it's not here now that I am. In case you're reading this, Lauren, I really appreciate you wanting to learn more.
Based on my experience as an American living with my in-laws, I'd agree with what I've seen some of the others in the comments here say--it isn't common to directly address conflict in Japan. It is possible that the girlfriend interpreted the boyfriend's desire to not be with her the whole time as not wanting her to be there at all. Especially when it comes to emotional topics, the communication often becomes less and less direct. As an American, I've found it really frustrating when faced with it myself. But it seems unfair when you enter an intercultural relationship to expect the other person to get on your cultural wavelength (obviously this goes both ways). Just because the boyfriend may not have considered the way his actions could be interpreted doesn't make her perspective the wrong one (I'm not saying his is wrong either. They just need to work at balancing the cultural expectations better). It's just easier to see it his way because our cultural alignment is more similar to his. Not sure if that makes sense, but that's how I see it.
Precisely this whole group lacks a lot of experiences and doesn’t always consider this for others smh it’s very frustrating sometimes to listen to
@@makenna5883 I love them love the show but so often it feels so tone deaf especially culturally could really do with diversifying the people on the show more particularly if they are going to talk about those kinds of issues it comes off as so ignorant sometimes
@𝑴𝒂𝒆𝒍𝒊. I agree with you. But it doesn't change the fact that that is the cultural norm in Japan.
I'm literally so mad at Lauren's reaction to the Christmas story. It was so hard to listen to.
That extremely super hero mom deserves a fing break, imagine the stress of carrying around a dead beat.
1st story is literally about a microfiber towel. Dude is crazy wtf lol.
Edit: please put chapters in the video
Towel Story:
I have a feeling her shutting down like this isn’t just because of the towel. They way he doubles down on his position makes it seem he has done similar things before. He described her as low maintenance in general. I’m sure she didn’t go from 0-60 over one incidence. He probably has a pattern of behavior and this was just the final straw.
Totally got that impression too! I kinda get annoyed with Justin always saying communicate. When you’re done with someone, you’re done. There comes a point where they’re not worth you words anymore. I believe this was the case, especially with the bf’s replies to comments.
the cure for my anxiety has arrived🥳 i was rewatching everything today so i’m PUMPED we got something new🥰
Culture culture culture! My partner is also from Japan and he would also find that to be extremely disrespectful. Christmas is seen as going as a couple and therefore you do everything as a couple. It’s a very romantic time in Japan. While I also think it’s kind of a shitty thing to do, the extra cultural layer of this makes it even worse. I understand why she’s so upset.
Thank you for sharing! Such a good take to have for this story
And even without the cultural specificity here, whey would she want to stay with his family during the holidays, and she would be justified to be wondering what the big deal is about that it has not be ONLY THE BOYS, are they bringing strippers/sex workers…she should reconsider that relationship.
@marianadineva14 That's a pretty big leap to assume that there would be strippers just because it is a boys' night. I have girls' nights pretty regularly and I'm glad my husband understands that those nights are to nurture my friendships. It has nothing to do with "strippers" lol.
Story #4, the mom thing… yall are wrong. I dont think you really get the situation.
That dad was so fucked up.. it was NOT his money to take.
At all and in my opinion, kids should know the truth fr
The dad who take the chrismast money made me rage
The fact that he played the victim later infuriated me 😤
i’m literally so angry and it didn’t even happen to me
I usually love Lauren, but her position on story #4 drove me CRAZY. There’s no defending that major ahole of a husband, COME ON
SAME. if she wouldnt have said he took the money her kids would have blamed her. After busting my ass to make xmas happen and having it TAKEN from me.. I would have told the kids the truth as well. She did everything she could and she should not be punished for this.
I agree. As a mom I would not take the heat from my kids. Hell no.
Absolutely. What was the alternative? Her taking the blame as the sole bread winner for Christmas being bad AGAIN this year instead of being honest about what the real reason behind the whole thing was? I don't think either way of finding out how lousy your father is, is less traumatic.
Trauma will not come from the mother being blunt about the father wrongdoings, it will come from them growing up and finding out that their father stole money that he did not earn, that the mother (alone) worked hard for and he did not care how it would affect them as a family. It's not okay to blame the trauma on the mother bc it's damned if she does damned if she doesn't! Whether she's honest about the whole thing or not, the children will still have a hard time with this situation and it all comes down to the fact that what the father, and only the father did, was wrong. Absolutely not the asshole!
SERIOUSLY! The wife literally facing abuse from the husband's family and going through so much stress. The way society expects mom's to be perfect, not have breakdowns and outbursts is crazy. Like Laurens take on this was absolutely garbage. Yeah.. the mother working her ass off to make up for her deadbeat husband is the one that's selfish. Ya ok.
I AGREE! I didn’t really line up with a lot of Lauren’s takes this episode, still love her though.
1:18:08 "He cried, I cried, Morgan cried" and now I'm crying non stop ;-; Such a sweet story 🎄
As a hairstylist the first one has me scream laughing, shes got some curls leave her alone. This guy is such an asshole.
I love when they disagree and they all talk their points put maturely are respectfully love this channel!
i actually think morgan has a hard time being disagreed with and will be condescending while trying to prove her point. like how she started to dog deeper into the guy's account after being disagreed with. justin and lauren looked uncomfy and from binging her videos its something i've picked up on.
@@samdesoto3211 I think we all do that though lol if I believe something to be true I will fact check it to see so I don’t see it as condescending but we can agree to disagree 🤷🏻♀️😉
Lauren and me are going to fist fight if she keeps justifying this man’s actions because of “pressure”. He’s an adult dead beat POS, and I’ve IS terrible. Period.
LITERALLY OMG
LITERALLY WTF
His "family" should be pressuring his lazy ass into working instead..... 🤢
Lol lemme join you
This!!!!!! Usually I’m fine with agree to disagree but in this situation I would of flipped.
My husband is from Tunisia and when we go back to visit we have to talk about the schedule because being back he wants to see his friends that are halfway across the world (We live in Oregon). I struggle speaking with his family despite knowing conversational french; it's having two parties speaking their second language is awkward. But I have to remember that he spends most of the year with me and culturally it's awkward to bring me along to an all guys trip to the beach or cafe. So by talking about time division before the trip it helps immensely, the first couple times I felt very alone, but now I'm great friends with his mom and sister so I don't mind it but it did feel super awkward. But that language and cultural barrier was a huge issue.
Exactly!
I completely agree
I love the outtakes that you guys present, but it shows it's kind of hard for you to comprehend the stories with emotional reactions when it comes to cross-cultural relationships. Probably because you never had that experience and it's totally fine, but communication it's not that straightforward when you have so fundamental differences in the way you express yourself and what it's ok or not to explicitly voice because of your culture, so "just communicate" it's not something to throw so lightly 'cause it's not that straightforward as it might seem. Nice to see you guys and I loved the costumes!
kids should know the truth about their parents and if the father was the one who ruined their Christmas they should know, mom had every right to tell them the truth. If they asked should she have lied to them? i don’t see how this could be seen as “bad mouthing” since she simply told her kids the truth
The Japanese one: I agree with Morgan. It also sounds like the girlfriend may have a fearful avoidant attachment style, hence why she might be quick to decide not to go on the trip all together to avoid the disappointment of it all and to avoid feeling abandoned on the trip
Fun fact, in Japan Christmas time is more commonly celebrated as a romantic holidays for couples. Might explain the Japanese girlfriend’s reaction to her boyfriend wanting to spend time away from her during the holidays.
The first story screams micro aggression and he might fetishize his girlfriend more than respect her. A lot of biracial women go through relationships where it stems from fetishism and their partners do these little things to control their “ethnic side”. The towel in this story, my friend’s partner wouldn’t let her have lotion or coconut oil, another didn’t want her go out too much in the sun.
never been more against lauren than in the story abt the husband STEALING money...
the husband is NOT in a hard place. his brother needs to pay his own child support and not rely on others. there is no "two sides", the husband STOLE to help his deadbeat brother.
Story 4 triggers me i don’t think she’s a asshole at all it was her money she saved for their kids!! She shouldn’t be paying someone else’s child support both brothers need to get their act together
I'm seriously hooked on to this channel ❤️. Morgan's voice is so soothing.
To be fair people in Japan don't see Christmas as a massive family holiday
That’s true… it’s romantic. So it makes even more sense she would want to be with him 🤔
i feel like with the "leaving the girlfriend out of plans" one is a little weird to me only because she is TRAVELING with him somewhere and he wants to not include her in an entire night of plans? idk that feels weird to me. If they were in their own town and that was the case it would be totally normal to me. but staying apart over night when you've traveled somewhere together? that isnt cool to me. he definitely should have done the fly ahead option first if at all. shes not being uncompromising shes just upset hes intentionally making plans without her as if that wouldnt affect her at all. id be upset too tbh.
I love how they all accept each other’s answers and opinions
when i’m ready to sleep, i turn ur videos on and fall asleep to them! they’re great!
I love that. Maybe I should start reading some bedtime stories too 😂
very glad everyone disagrees with lauren on the 4th story… she had such an INFURIATING take i almost skipped the story…
As someone who grew up and still deal with parents who did that back and forth blaming shit and then telling us, it was horrible. It felt like they were only doing it out of spite, not to actually and generally inform us of something. I can sympathise not wanting your kids to think you ruined christmas cause you're the one who bring home the money, but I know for a fact, no kid is actually thinking that. If you sat them down and told them that you are financially struggling, those kids would understand, if your kids aren't spoilt, all they truely want is a happy family and love, it doesn't matter what material things you can give them. They can also have so many christmas memories without a lot of money involved. She does have a right to be pissed at her husband but its not her right to put that on the kids, they are not your therapist, they don't want to hear you shit talk their other parent, it puts them is such an uncomfortable situation cause they love both parents and you're trying to use them to pin them against their other parent. Plus, those kids are most likely blaming themselves now cause they think they've put you in so much stress about christmas for them. Never talk bad about you childs other parent to them, especially at that age, they can find out on their own, you have just got to be the parent that is there for them and loves them.
Totally agree. The husband was the biggest aHole no question asked but yelling it at the kids clearly wasn't the move. I understand saying things on the spot out of spite, but her not realizing how bad it was even afterwards is kind of a problem in my opinion. I feel for her though because that relationship seem so stressful.
I completely agree. I grew up with this too and parents don’t realize how much this continues to affect their children later in life. While the husband was an asshole her telling the kids definitely stressed them out and made them feel like they’re responsible for their parents problems. When I heard that the mom told the kids out of spite about what the father did, I felt so triggered. In my opinion it was way worse than anything he couldn’t done. Lesson of the story: leave you kids out of it, don’t try to win their affection over the other parent even if the other parent is shitty, let them love who they want to, and remember at the end of the day they just want to have two parents that are kind and love them.
@@genevaallen8295 spot on
I dealt with that too. Got worse after I became an adult because I "had perspective"
I was an RA in college and I had a resident flip all of the apartment furniture over and trash the whole place cause his roommate used his towel. Don’t mess with the towel
In regards to the dude with (I assume) Japanese girlfriend and Justin’s inquiry about communication-Japanese people in general have a very round-about way of communicating. From my own experience dating a Japanese guy and seeing a bunch of friends dating Japanese girls, they rarely ever say anything directly, especially if it is something they are unhappy about. I, as well as my other foreign friends, have had to literally drag stuff out of our Japanese friends so we could understand each other correctly. Obviously, there are exceptions, but it mainly just depends on what that specific Japanese person’s experiences are.
Also, in Japan, Christmas is a couple’s holiday, not a family one. Additionally, Christmas is not as important in Japan as it is in America. In the states, most people get off and most places shut down. In Japan, it’s any other day. I.e. No day off, no closing.
Exactly, especially for japanese people Christmas is such a romantic holiday, they usually spend it with their parteners. Plus i don't understand how he's saying stuff like "oh she won't understand the game", she learned a whole nother language, however it looks like he hasn't tried learning Japanese at all, instead he just likes to complain.
The story just shows how ignorant americans are and cultural differences are... Not even mentioned as a valid situational option. Its very weird...
@@xpurpletearsxbla It is negligent. The idea that “America is first” or “America is number one” has installed a self-centered mentality in most Americans (most white Americans at least), which has resulted in most Americans becoming severely stunted and being totally ok with that-some even perceiving their ignorance as a resource or advantage. Very few people venture out of their bubble. Of course, all this can be said of any person anywhere.
@@xpurpletearsxbla very true point but this story is actually from Australia
for the second story, if u have friends or a partner where english isnt their first language you would understand this concern. even my boyfriend who has been speaking english for 15 years struggles and is overwhelmed sometimes in certain situations, its not calling someone dumb its just being aware of time and place.
Exactly with my husband it’s the same. He can definitely defend himself in English but even with uno or monopoly he feels behind with all the native speakers…
THIIIIISSSSS I already left a comment but my bf of native speaker German and I have been living and studying and working in Germany for 6 years and I can with all confidence say board games are HARD when playing with natives specially when they constantly play together (like my bf and his friends) and they have their made up rules. I played Catan with them ONCE and I had such a headache afterwards. I just simply cannot imagine myself in the position to having to play D&D or sth with them (even if they are really nice and really welcoming when I have played with them)
@@palomaaguilera8315 oh my lord if they were playing dnd she probably wouldn’t even have fun anyway. Because it’s all about talking. Also if she did come she would honestly probably make the playing time take even longer because she doesn’t know how to make a character or honestly play the game. Also with dnd dependant upon the campaign you can only have so many players, so either she’s just not going to play and just sit there or she’s going to take up someone else’s spot.
Lol. “Deep thought” is a reference to the movie. Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy is so good 🥳
Morgan is honestly the most considerate person and I really like to hear her point of view to things. I would want a partner that has her mind set
People tend to pack towels when they go places like what I don’t get why he’s making such a big deal out of it and acting like the whole family is just going to start pointing and laughing at them. Towels can be different like micro fiber, cotton or a bamboo one. He’s being weird and rude
Love this channel so much. I'll play each video twice, I'll actually pay attention the first time & the second time is to fall asleep 😅😅
The japanese gf story, I 100% get her. I get along great with my bfs family and they are all rly nice but I have anxiety and the thought of having to be with his family alone is still very scary and uncomfortable. I also dont think it would be very fun to travel that far on my own. In that situation I would have prefered to join the game night, it would give me the chance to get to know his friends more and games are always fun. He could have asked his friends to bring their gfs too.
i feel like the two takes on this story are just “people with anxiety” vs. “people without anxiety” lol
@@kelseyw4330 lmaoo yeah I can understand how ppl without anxiety might think shes overreacting but when you struggle with that you know how uncomfortable situations like that truly are
@@matti9208 she could just do something else that day... Maybe stay at airbnb or something else
😮o 1:05:57 ool
YES!!! I commented the same thing!! I’m surprised no one else thinks of that??? Like--
The story about the dad taking Christmas money for his irresponsible little brother makes me feel sick! I wouldn’t give a shit about my brother and his kid! Ah the thought of someone taking my children’s Christmas away for someone else’s kid makes me so angry I completely understand why she did what she did why should them kids think she hasn’t prioritised them when she worked so hard to!
As someone who was raised by a single mom, I couldn’t care less what happens to my father, but I came to that conclusion on my own. My mother never once talked shit about him. She did tell it to me straight though, she said my father left her when he found out she was pregnant with me. That’s it. She didn’t say anything else, if I asked her about him she would give me an honest answer, she said he was a fun person, he liked to party, he had a motorcycle, etc. I grew up with literally 0 feelings about my father. When I was older she told me her entire side of the story, after I asked her. And when I asked her if she still had his number, 14 years later, she immediately looked for her old notebooks and found his dad’s phone number. The only reason I wanted to contact him was to see if I had any siblings, cuz it’s not their fault and even if they’re half siblings, I still wanted to meet them. It turned into me and my mom traveling over there for my quinceañera party, so that him and his family could meet me and be a part of what’s considered a pretty big event. I met him and at first I was delighted, but then I started seeing all of this man’s flaws. It’s been 7 years now and I simply refuse to speak to him. I have no feelings for him at all, he could win the lottery or he could die and I would have the same feelings I have for a stranger, either “good for you” or “well damn”
If I was the GF in the second story, I would've probably reacted in the same way. I wouldn't want to be in a situation where I wasn't comfortable with the people I was around with no way to escape for possibly 24 hours, potentially even longer depending on the bf and his friends. Also I have really bad anxiety about flying and definitely would not want to fly alone. Also do to personal experiences, if I find myself dreading the trip I would just prefer to stay home. There are always other holidays too.
loving you guys not knowing any of the hitchhikers guide references lmao, those comments you read and even the 42 upvotes are inside jokes from the book
Loved the vid! As a curly girl, towels are really important 😬❤️
I agree with Lauren and Justin on the games story. I’d be upset if they wanted me to stay at the house without them, but him saying that he could go early is so reasonable. The holidays being an emotional time isn’t a good enough excuse for me
Highly recommend: Aquis hair towel life changing especially for the frizz! It's not even that huge 🤣 why did he make such a big deal bout it ?? He is DTA. I bring my towel everywhere with me if I travel, it's not like we're wearing it it out bro.. 🙄 just for him to go out of his way to do that is the problem!!
I am absolutely living for the onesies!!!!
Sooo cozy (and toasty lol)
@@TwoHotTakes yes! I love them but can't keep them on for very long ;(
But also, y'all NEED to read The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, please!
I can't even lie, every time I hear you do the ads, all I can think of is the Shane Company radio commercials. Definitely makes me miss Minnesota
“Your friend in the jewelry business” I miss those ads now!
Morgan love your takes & perspective. Can we have more drew & sarah & the like as guests though 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼
Love this Chanel! I love the individual relationships you hold with your loved ones!! Happy Holidays Loves!
Awhh thank you! Happy holidays to you too ❤️
I knew the towel story would make it here lol. Dude is ridiculous, I have two of those towels and always bring one with me when I travel, and my husband even reminds me not to forget it.
idk if someone has said it yet, but Christmas in Japan is essentially like a different type of valentines day. It is expected that you would share that with your girlfriend / partner. How would you feel if your boyfriend left you in a strange country on your own and then ditched you on valentines day. I understand it is not exactly like Valentines day, but it is a very important relationship day from what I've been told from friends that are from Japan.
Yes, and not to mention it's a general holiday??? And her family is across the world, so he's the only one she knows there??? Being alone on a holiday meant to celebrate with loved ones is just a disrespectful option.
i was so excited to see a new episode, i love this channel so much
I have never been this early wow, time to cozy up and watch!
omg i never hear you guys do stories i’ve read but i read the towel one!!! 😂
RE the towel: I have that towel and no, not curly hair. It takes my waist length hair from drying time of 2hrs to 15 min or less, few snarls, and fewer flyaways. I can 1000% tell when i don't use it. Leave alone the 42 reasons towels are important--those microfiber hair towels are MAGIC.
Honestly maybe the first guy, is just somehow jealous of that towel now and how important it is to her. He's a douche to have tried and keep it a secret that he took it out of the luggage without her knowing. ITS A TOWEL!!! I don't get it. And from his replies I don't think even, he does or ever will see why it was messed up.
I can understand the girlfriend going to her boyfriend's family house. My husband used to do that to me all the time. We would go to his parents for the holidays and he would always leave me to hunt the whole time.
I recently started hunting with my husband after ten years of marriage. Totally worth it and such a fun bonding couple time.
@@xpurpletearsxbla pick me.
This doesn’t sound pick me at all? If my partner brought me HIS family’s house to stay for a week then I’d be pretty upset if he left my for the majority of the week to go hunting? If you want to go hunting then plan a hunting trip? Don’t go during my vacation when we’re supposed to be spending time together with family. And if he has to go that week then Awesome, do that, I’ll be at my parents house enjoying the holiday with my own family and not left to feel awkward and imposing on his family. I love his family but I would feel all that comfortable spending a week with them on my own.
@@xpurpletearsxbla why are you all in these comments pressed about people being in a healthy relationships and attacking the women, you need serious help ❤️
I agree 100% with the mom telling her kids what the dad did. He allowed himself to be manipulated by his family to save his irresponsible brother's ass (which incidentally is only enabling that brother to continue his irresponsibility). And he is actually defending his position? She's keeping their entire household afloat and he's obviously selfish and lazy. He knew what that money was for. Maybe she should've told the kids AFTER calming down, but damn...I would've told them. I have 5 kids. If they're watching me bust my butt to ensure we eat and have a roof over our heads, they're gonna know why they're not getting Christmas this year.
IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE TURN IT UP
Morgan and I are so similar. she is such an emotional empath and almost always agree with her opinions.
With the first one, the towel, op even says his girlfriend is very low maintenance and takes almost no time to get ready, the only thing shes bothered about is this towel. If that's her one thing let her have it!! It means nothing to you and any woman in your family (when you go to stay with them) would understand the importance of bringing something important to them on a trip that makes them feel confident.