I gotta say, thank you for the parent warning at the beginning of the Elf on the Shelf story! I listen on my way to work and sometimes my daughter listens with me (don’t worry, I turn down the volume when things get a little too adult). I heard your warning and immediately changed videos. Thank you thank you thank you.
@@TwoHotTakes I appreciate it! I don’t interact often, but I love you guys dearly and look forward to your posts every week! They are my “do anything” go to! Lunch break, drive to work, chores. My almost 9yr daughter often asks to listen to “the pretty blonde girl with the pretty voice videos” too 😂.
On the Disney story, I had a similar mindset to OP (along the lines of wanting to be the first one to take my kids to Disneyland) and January of last year, my mother in law started talking to me about wanting to take the kiddos to Disneyland. I was hesitant, and she could tell, so she said all of us could go together. She wanted to go for my daughters birthday (February 9th), but I told her I didn’t know if my husband and I could pull it off financially. She got a bonus at work and used it to take all of us, and we had a blast. 2 weeks later she died unexpectedly, and honestly, I’m so grateful we were able to make that trip with her, i knew how much it meant to her. I miss her every day, and often think of this. I get it, but ultimately our babies only have their grandparents for so long, OP really need to think about that.
I would have recorded him the next night and then taken my baby and fled the day after. I would only confront him in the safety of my home with my parents and siblings - and even then, I don't know if it would be salvageable. What he was doing is terrifying.
Highly chilling. I'd be so concerned about having my child near him. I'd get a recording and leave with the child somewhere else. Hopefully her parents are near by.
I don't think the kid would have been scared or freaked out. More like confused and sad. Kids don't process things the way we do. Either way he shouldn't have done it. I think it's stupid when the elves are naughty because they're supposed to make sure the kids aren't being naughty.
He did that to his 5yr old daughter. He went into his daughters room in the middle of the night with scissors to cut her favorite pajamas while she wore them as she was sleeping. It's PSYCHOTIC
Kids process things differently but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t grow up feeling violated, that is borderline abusive and could lead to major issues down the line
I think for the gold digger post, OP wasn't really in the right but she did ask her brother to bring it up with the gf because they were uncomfortable. The brother is the asshole for not stepping up and telling the gf the night before the lunch that asking about money was a no no. Everything could have been avoided if the brother had just talked to his own girlfriend.
I agree. Brother is the asshole for not making it clear to her that it is unacceptable. That being said I think that's basic common sense. So id be worried what other social queues she doesn't understand. That's not normal. 💯 RED FLAG. I dont think she's necessarily a gold digger but being that oblivious to common social etiquette is weird and concerning.
This is the comment I was looking for. It kinda rubbed me the wrong way how they jumped to the neurodivergent wagon right away. She was warned apparently by the brother and she still decided to push it. The gold digger comment was uncalled for but I get how uncomfortable someone would’ve felt and then angry. OP called her something to hurt her just as she made an uncalled for comment.
@@samanthag6613she was talked to? I want to hear Lindsey side. Maybe it isn’t how making it, but if she is asking about money, she shouldn’t be asking, unless she was genuinely curious about dads work, because she is interested in the field.
This is the perspective I was looking for! I get where they were coming from, but they gave Lindsey too much grace. I'd be put off too if someone who I don't know that well yet was asking me so many questions about how much I spent on this or that, looked up the price of the art on my walls, and to top it all off, looked up the prices of all the gifts and rounded up a total of how much was spent! OP was wrong to call her a goldigger, especially in front of everyone else, but Lindsey was definitely displaying some strange behaviour and I can't understand how she thought such comments would fly, especially in a setting where it seems she did not know everyone that well yet.
Disney story: I think the wife could also have let the husband know about the surprise considering they had already talked about how great it would be for them to take their daughters so they could also plan on being included in the trip from the start and maybe not spend as much as now being on a closer date. They could still have had a nice Christmas surprise for everyone and not miss the experience. I don’t think he should say no though
That was my first thought. Husband should definitely play along as this point but I could understand the shock and disappointment of finding out your wife approved of this without your knowledge especially if it was something she knew was very important to you.
I agree. If I talked about wanting to take my kids to Disney and someone else decided to take them before I got the chance, I’d be pissed. Disney is more expensive than an international vacation nowadays it’s not something every family can do. I was very privileged to be able to go multiple times in my childhood. If the grandpa is dying ok then have one last hurrah but there are plenty of other vacation options that aren’t Disney.
I agree. The disney trip was something they both had talked about a lot! So to one off them just go behind others back and not decide together is s red flag. A trip potentially costing 10 000 all being a gifts is still something that needs a serious talk and both parents agreeing. Youngest is 5! They won't be remembering much of the trip and would have been as happy to be spending quality time with grandad in a sea world or some other destination near by. Or they could have had a fun disney themed princess party/sleepover! There is a lot of ways to make amazing, fun core memories while the grandad is still alive. Don't just walk over/ignore your significant others feelings because someone has a cancer.
Yeah, they are the AH for not telling him and stealing that moment without him. But if he shut the whole thing down after already telling the girls about the trip, it would be ESH.
This last story reminds me of the guy who would eat dairy specifically on his wife's off day the 16 year old is going to grow up doing this for the rest of her life if the mom doesn't put her foot down
this.... 100% it's easy for people who aren't parents to judge parents or caregivers as a matter of fact. She is a YOUNG ADULT so she needs to learn her actions have consequences. She knew what she was doing and chose to eat the food regardless. Sure it's a little harsh that they didn't visit them at all BUT I don't think they're the AH 100% maybe a slight AH. Hopefully their kid learns from this.
Yeah. I’m not visiting my 16 yo if they have done this too many times to count. Sorry, but I’ll come if something extreme occurs. And to her family, go visit her if you’re that concerned. Oh… that’s right… you’re not bc you also know she’s playing stupid stuff and winning stupid prizes. Also the bills should be taken out of her Christmas and bday funds. At this point it’s a little ridiculous.
The fourth story is absolutely insane to me. The fact that the dad can just flip back and forth from loving and hateful so quickly , it reads as someone who might potentially snap out of nowhere if he doesn’t get some real help. Edit: Also to add, while not exactly a nonprofit, but rather a not-for-profit organization, the DBSA (depression bipolar support alliance) is a great organization I’ve supported over the years.
The man is a psychopath! I would get clothes' together and run!!! This man is sick!!! And dear God he is dangerous!!! Talk about a bipolar or just a sick sick guy? Run sweetie RUN RUN RUN
@@Isabella-vx3bc especially because, if he is sound of mind and good partner and maybe just has bad depression, he should understand and forgive once the dust is settled. Could he be hurt by being considered a potential threat? Sure. Could he hold that over her? Not if he’s concerned for his family’s safety once he is sound of mind again. Definitely an “ask for forgiveness” situation to me.
The story with the new dad and the baby is horrifying. My first thought is the threat of shaken baby syndrome. What if he gets so angry while holding the baby, he starts shaking out of anger instead of cursing? That kind of thing can occur while mom is innocently downstairs and within minutes, that baby may have a condition that makes them lose their life or the life they could have. OP, run.
I pictured him drowning the baby after OP made a point of saying he actively likes bathing her 😖 just blank faced holding her under the water one day. Ugh…I’m making myself nauseous.
1:06:22 this story with the father cursing their baby is horrible. I couldn’t leave the baby alone with her father, not even for a single second. So many terrible things could happen
To me, this sounds like antisocial or even psychopathic person. I would seriously run and report it to the police. The fact that he’s “the nicest guy ever” and then he so easily switched from cursing his baby to acting completely normal makes me think he’s very used to pretending to be “normal” but will probably end up hurting that baby and her if they don’t leave and she shouldn’t even talk to him about it because I bet he’s very good at manipulating people
I agree with Morgan on the last one. She’s 16 years old, she knows what she’s doing and yes, she’s still a kid and immature but in order to learn that she needs to stop being that level of immature, she needs that tough love. It’s not like she was completely alone and it’s not like the mum had an overly aggressive/ghosting reaction. She basically just said “deal with it yourself since you did it to yourself, even though I warned you many a time”. The kid does not need anymore coddling. Edit: yes, I definitely think she needs therapy.
I wonder if she also enjoys the one on one time with mom at the hospital. I was hoping to hear if there where siblings. That could contribute to her risking going to the ER.
Yeah she definitely needs a different way of learning cause what they’re doing now isn’t working and she was in a hospital, not the side of the road… I was also thinking “how expensive these bills must be, seeing specialist, a hospital room for days, etc. that must be frustrating
It’s not about coddling her. I honestly think they aren’t taking it seriously enough. I feel like it’s being brushed off as a teenager being immature and making poor choices and having to deal with it, in order to “learn a lesson,” but no one would be saying that if she was in the hospital for over eating or anorexia, or something along those lines that we consider to be more severe. Continuously, purposefully, eating food that is causing your body so much physical distress/harm is a form of disordered eating. And the mother just leaving her in the hospital and being like “well you did it so deal with it,” doesn’t sit right with me. Of course as the one not directly suffering there is only so much you can do, but it sounds like the mom hasn’t done anything to truly find the root of the issue here (mentally not physically).
So glad you guys mentioned a difference in wealth exposure and the behaviors people have around money. I, raised very poor, have found myself struggling to date people who were raised wealthy bc they don't understand my world view and how uncomfortable money makes me and how ill-equipped I am for situations like that. Would I have commented AT ALL about money or asked those questions? nope. But I wouldve been tallying it up internally for sure
My ILs now tell my husband to lie to me about how much the stuff they bought cost because I asked them "oh how much this cost" a couple of times. Some people think money is so private and it's offensive to ask. That way, they can feel like they still are normal or not privileged.
My family was poor as a kid but when richer people flipped that kind of question on us we would be offended too So if she was poor n got asked all kinds of questions about money youd think she wouldn't do that behavior back Plus stalking someones budget just because of wealth differences is really strange One thing i learned growing up poor is that you are grateful for what you get n she should be too and shut up and stop asking questions
story #4 made me think “did i write this” & its truely something i thought wouldn’t happen, until it did. it started with swearing and yelling at our baby until he hurt the both of us physically less than 2 years later. we were able to get out & i’m happy about that! i hope OP is doing good & i wish nothing but the best for her & her little♥️
Story 5 - while I think the mother’s decision was harsh, I can’t help but think “what is the daughter thinking!”. Her mom provided her with plenty of alternatives (delicious ones too according to her). It sounds like the daughter has been hospitalized many many times because it’s always the same reaction so she knows what to expect. So why does she keep doing this to herself? I’m having a hard time believing she will learn her lesson from just being in the hospital. Maybe some tough love will help her out because that’s an insane thing to do to yourself regularly. It almost sounds like self harm although of course I don’t believe it is from what the OP is saying
Hi, type 1 diabetic here. My parents always made me feel awful about my food choices. I went to a nutritionist right after I got diagnosed, but my mom bullied her for suggesting to lower my carb intake. Now, when I try to eat low carb, she and my dad do the same to me, so I just eat whatever they do when I’m with them so they don’t get upset. I’m 21 now and live far away, so I maintain good control when I’m not home and do my best when I am. Lots of parents don’t take their kids’ dietary restrictions seriously, so I commend OP for even trying, though I will say that the trigger foods should’ve been kept in a separate area on the table or in the house so the daughter could have a chance at self control.
Story 4: As hard as it might be I'd let the father have a couple more "venting sessions" and record it. for the love of all that is good in the world UPLOAD IT TO A CLOUD, or two he doesn't know exists. One recording is not enough and you need to establish a pattern in court because worst case scenario is the baby is in danger.
Hospital Christmas: NTA, the daughter knows the consequences of eating certain foods. OP provided other foods for her to eat, so she didn't have to eat those foods. I wonder if the daughter is purposely making herself sick to get attention, since I'm assuming that OP used to spend the entire time with her in the hospital. Regardless the daughter needs therapy, especially since OP won't be able to be with her at the hospital every single time, especially once she goes to college or moves out. I have food intolerences and allergies, not to the same severity of the daughter. One of my food allergies is pineapple I end up with hives, hawaiian rolls make me have a full body rash for weeks. Also, red meats, I only know beef and pork, making me vomit until it's out of my stomach. I understand what those foods do to me and I avoid them, no matter how tempting those foods are. This reminds me of the post with the bf with the milk allergy, who would purposely eat alot of dairy when that OP had a day off.
Yeah I don’t necessarily think she purposely does it for attention, but giving her all that attention only encourages it. I would definitely get her therapy :(
NTA forsure. This girl is 16- she’s old enough to know the consequences of her actions and how that will effect others as well. ALSO how much are they spending on hospital bills??? Sounds like a disordered eating tbh OR cyclical vomiting syndrome
Story 2: YTA I have been the girlfriend before. Granted, I was more lowkey about my shock around money, but I remember crying at my ex's Christmas party after they spent £2000 per person. For reference, growing up, my mum made £7000 a year. The average income in the UK is between 24 and 35 grand. So when I found out that his family spent close to 22 grand on presents ALONE (not including decorations or food) I was astounded. We couldn't even afford a chicken on Christmas. People's perception of money definitely depends on upbringing and I doubt the girlfriend's remarks were malicious.
I’ve been there too! My first time going into a friend’s family’s mansion in Chicago. I didn’t ask how much stuff cost, but I recall feeling so fish out of water and overwhelmed at how I didn’t belong.
It's not YTA. It's ESH. Because regardless of how the girlfriend grew up (and remember, we don't know for a fact she grew up poor; I know some people who are wealthy and still make crass, rude comments about other peoples' wealth), she crossed the line from awkward to rude when she began judging them for how much they spent. That's not being a good, polite guest. These people hosted her in their home and she chose to spend the entire time making them uncomfortable and almost berating them for their wealth. Also...poor people have manners; it's so weird how everyone is just assuming that poor people are tacky donkeys who behave the way the girlfriend did in that story. No, they don't.
@Aquaphor I'm with you! She had no place to say that. "You already spent all your money on Christmas gifts" ? I'm sorry, but I don't come from money AT ALLL, but I would never tell a partner esp their family that. Idk I grew up being told it's rude to ask about money. Or anything to do with money. Like how much is that watch. How much did you pay for that car.
@Aquaphor I agree with Morgan on the possible neurodivergent when it comes to the girlfriends behavior. I used to live with a girl who has autism and she was just a numbers person and bad at social ques. She literally did the finances for the sorority she is in. I might just be used to it, so I'm not phased by it.
That lady could have been me. I grew up with nothing. Born on a ship, life was always meager and our Sinterklaas presents were usually self made, like dresses made from 2nd hand thrift shop clothes (the 80's were not gentle on 2nd hand shops, my parents shipped a lot to Belgium where there was an abundance in these kinds of shops) or handmade woodworking projects by my dad when he was steering boring waterways. I cherish those presents and I have a couple of boxes still with dresses made from old curtains. When I got a boyfriend with parents who made a Christmas dinner with multiple pieces of cutlery next to my plate, I internally paniked and started babbling about how we never had money to afford more forks than necessary to eat your dinner with. It was only much later on that I understood that comment could have been interpreted as a offhanded comment to people who value certain etiquette.
I just had such an amazing experience, and I feel like there’s no better place to share than in this community. I’m watching this episode right after my best friend and her dad left my apartment. They came to visit me at college because I don’t have any family and spend most of my days alone or with my boyfriend. I told them I wanted to feel like I was around family for the holidays, and my boyfriend’s family is a tad unwelcoming towards me. We spent a few days together, catching up and showing them my new life and my apartment. They bought me over $300 worth of groceries and toiletries to last me “hopefully until the end of the semester”. This morning, before the left to go home, they asked if I would want to be adopted by them. Her dad said that he hates the thought of me not having someone to call when I need advice or help with something. I also don’t have health insurance right now, so being adopted means I can be on their insurance plan. This is something that I never thought I’d want, because I’ve never seen a family that was so unconditionally supportive; but when he asked me, I almost started crying right at the breakfast table. I can’t believe I have the opportunity to finally have a family that visits me, supports me, wants me to succeed, and truly loves me.
story 5 is so tough, I'm wondering if there's maybe even an undiagnosed eating disorder there? Binging? The amount she is throwing up cannot be good for her throat/teeth
yeah this is what i was thinking the whole time. having so many food restrictions placed on you, especially as a kid, more often than not leads to binging. i am kinda disappointed no one pick up that this could be why she eats the way she does, however i also know it’s no one’s fault. binge eating disorder isn’t really ever taken as seriously as it should, from what i’ve seen it’s usually chalked up to being greedy/ having a lack of self control.
They said it happens only with crap foods... I dont eat most meats because it makes me sick... Everyone handles foods differently. Shes 16 and should know better.
Yeah I was wondering the same thing. I get that she is old enough to know better but the fact that she called her mom crying made me think there's more to it. Idk, if it is something more serious this could have made it worse for her.
@@BisexualBeauty thats what made me think it could be a disorder though... a lot of the foods people tend to be ashamed about after they eat ARE the processed and unhealthy junk food.
Not just that. The grandparents, one weak from cancer, are going to take care of the kids alone? Like you g kids? What if one runs off? What about bathroom breaks? The whole plan is not right
Regarding the story about the food and hospitalisation. I was diagnosed with coeliac disease as a toddler. My symptoms are pretty severe and include throwing up for hours on end. I could never eat the cool food or the yummy looking snacks. I was the weird kid in school with the funny food. Etc etc. None of that, at any age, has made me want to actually eat the food I was missing out on. The effects it causes are absolutely not worth it. It's painful, I burst blood vessels in my face so I look wild, and more. So I'm having a hard time figuring out what is up with this kid! Why would she keep eating stuff when she gets so sick? There must be something else going on and it definitely needs to be looked into. I feel for her but this isn't good. I also feel for the mum and I wouldn't be surprised if she's kinda at the end of her rope with it. Maybe therapy would be a good shout.
For the last story, love the advice on getting help for dealing with a chronic illness. It’s already so taxing to deal with the illness itself and especially with the exhaustion of trying to find a diagnosis. I would’ve loved to talk to someone as a kid to have tools to help cope with all of that before I got to a low point.
About Santa: I feel like telling your kids about Santa can be good, it's all about the reveal. When my parents told me they said that the secret is that Santa isn't one person, it's everyone who works to make Christmas cheer. And then they took me to get gifts for my little sister so that I could be Santa too. It should be a fun inclusive thing
This is how I want to let my future kid know about the Santa secret. I was told by my step sister because my mom pissed her off. It's also how I found out I was partly adopted down the line.
story 5: im with morgan. i don’t think the moms the asshole for leaving her at the hospital because how will she learn if you just keep allowing her to do the same thing with no further consequences, with that i think the mom should start telling her that she needs to help pay the hospital bills with her allowance or checks if she has a job, so it puts it into perspective just how much this not only affects her but other people as well. this will also help her manage her money!
I agree. Also, if you change the words "fried foods, sweets, ect" & replace it with "drugs"......how can you support that 16y.o making those decisions & dealing with it by say "ok i'll be here for you"? Yes support your child, but til an extent then putting your foot down
Omggg story #4 is absolutely terrifying 😳 There's gotta be something wrong with that man for cursing and insulting his baby. Last story: it could go way deeper than just the food sensitivity. Who knows what the home life is like. She could feel somewhat neglected by her mom and her eating trigger foods and getting sick could be her way of getting "quality time" and attention from her mom. Who knows?!
Story 3, I think the OP was mad because, he wasn't apart of the conversation about going to disneyland. His wife knew that he wanted to bring his kids to Disneyland. Why she didn't use this opportunity for six of them to go. She just decided that their kids will go with the grandparents. I think the dad is NTA, he just wanted to go too. And on the other hand, why the wife didn't wanna go too?
@@senniminnibaby5011 I was thinking the same thing. Dad's not mad theyre going, he's mad they've made the decision without him and excluded him to the point that he'd have to miss it because it's been left to basically last minute
Dad was being a baby. FIL does not have all the time in the world to plan. The man is DYING. let him take the kids. It’s just an amusement park, he needs to get over it.
@@stephi25 Is that an excuse to leave out the OTHER parent in the conversation? And I believe that the overall experience would be better if the whole family went. Yeah he's dying, so wouldn't it be better to get pictures and have a fun time with everyone?
Trigger warning for ED, please proceed with caution The last story really clocks as eating disorder behavior to me for some reason. For someone with an eating disorder it would def be a win win scenario if the most delicious, high calorie foods made you sick so you didn't have to make yourself vomit manually. That's just my instinct for that story with the limited information we have but in any case she 100% should see a therapist, it's definitely a little deeper than being an irresponsible teenager
Exactly my thoughts, or disordered eating in the fact she has no self control around food. If that is the case then them all eating the trigger foods around her is so unfair
I also used to have an eating disorder back in HS & this doesn't sound like it. You have to consider that the now teen has been dealing with this issue & disorder since she was a child. Possibly as young as 5 or 7 since the parents were able to not buy the foods. Now that she's a teen she can do it herself, hence why it's increased. The comments that make me think this is how she reacted to OP not going to the hospital, throwing out the guilt trips too. It sounds more like she does this often & especially on holidays to make it about her.
On the last story I believe for a 16 year old this strikes me as a form of self harm, the intention behind it (attention, depression, etc) doesn’t really matter the bottom line is she needs therapy and more support. The mom’s frustration is understandable and I think it makes sense for her to do what she did in this situation. My main concern is that this is not being treated with the same urgency as any other sign of more traditional self hard would be.
For the third one i think the dad is feeling like he's being robbed and maybe excluded because the in-laws and the wife discussed the trip and stuff without reaching out to him too knowing full well he was very excited about bringing them himself I think if they asked him or even just filled him in before it was all decided he would feel different about it
Exactly. Everyone is attacking the poor guy but I don't really think he's in the wrong. That's a decision that both parents should be a part of, not just one. And if he knew in advance, he would've had an extra month to save up money for them to go too. I feel like if it was the dad who made the decision and the mom was the one who didn't know, maybe the opinions would be different.
The whole time I was like but his WIFE never said anything to him when he was so excited to go for their first. The betrayal he must feel. The pure lack of consideration and communication in that is what is baffling me. Substitute the dying grandfather for a close family friend. I guarantee no one would say he's in the wrong.
The first one with the elf literally seems like the dad just wants to abuse his power or some kind of power trip ... Definitely gets way to much pleasure out of making the kids upset
I appreciated the bowel disease mention in the last story, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis in my early 20's and this led to alot of food sensitivities that weren't present berforehand. I absolutely went through a "grieving" period for my past life with no limitations that led me to eat these foods purposely knowing it would hurt me or affect me negatively. This is for sure a mix of both physical and mental health. I started seeing a dietician and a chronic disease psychologist and found it so healthy and helpful. I hope she gets some help and some answers. It can be so darn lonely.
You put this perfectly! I'm 25, was diagnosed with Crohn's 2 years ago after almost dying from complications in hospital. While I'm in remission now, the mental aspect and lifestyle adjustments are such a major part. The stress of not knowing when a flare could happen, how severe it could be, what might trigger it, the medications and side effects - not to mention people commenting on your weight, questioning your strict diet, not understanding being immunocompromised, chronically fatigued etc. It's all very draining. We have great healthcare here but out of the countless appointments I've been to, only one asked how I was going mentally. I just burst straight into tears! I didn't realize just how much I was struggling until she asked. And I finally admitted to her that I felt stuck grieving for the life I would have had, just like you mentioned. I'm looking into therapy but a chronic disease psychologist sounds fantastic! I know it can be cripplingly lonely. I've found the IBD community on reddit helps me feel a bit more sane and not alone on bad days. Sending you lots of virtual hugs! ❤
@@zoelannan4569 This was so sweet and very much needed so I thank you for replying! I'm also 25 and have been in and out of UC remission for a little over 2 years also. I couldn't agree more with everything you said. I think people see chronic illness as a simple thing but so much goes into it. Mentally and physically, we are constantly battling ourselves in a body we don't necessarily want to be in. I haven't looked into IBD reddit but I surely will do because of this. Sending endless love and healing energy your way
Second story: not the asshole. She knew what she was doing as she made the sparky "I can't believe you can afford that after spending ____$ on gifts!" If she didn't want to be called out publicly she shouldn't have made those public comments. It's not that she's asking, it's her comments afterwards. Also, as a neurodivergent person the biggest pet peeve is someone saying their neurodivergent and being able to get off with making rude or negative comments. If it's rude for a neurotypical to say it to you, it's usually rude if a neurodivergent person says it.
So glad I'm not alone. I lived lower middle class n my 1st bf came from wealth n when I went to his house I was so nervous n weird about it. But I would NEVER have thought of GOOGLING the cost of their artwork n then ANNOUNCING the cost like WHAT
Yea it feels like theyre giving her a lot of beneift of the doubt more so than other stories. The way she handled it was very passive agressive, at the same time once the brother was supposed to say something is where it shouldve stopped. As an autistic person i understand not getting social ques completely, but making the assumption that this person has to be neurodivergent because of rude comments just feels a little weird to me.
@@hotdogwater9580 It bothers me too, we don't need to be so severely coddled and we are never taught that what we do is considered rude because "they're neurodivergent " or "they're autistic" Just because they don't know social cues dosent mean they are neurodivergent, either. They can be autistic AND being rude, it's not mutually exclusive. I Haye when people coddle neurodivergent/disabled people, it just creats a stereotype that we ALL are stuffed into. You can be autistic and know social etiquette, you can be neurotypical and be dense ad a show on social climates. It's just stupid
@@sarahhaybron9894 exactly! There's a difference between "Omg, I love the watch! How much was it?" "Oh, you're a __? That's amazing! How much do you make ? " And "Oh my god, you payed THAT much for a painting? "I'm surprised you can afford to go anywhere with those gifts" One is general questions of interest and the other is back handed compliments/ passive agression. People are acting like the woman didn't come into someone else's house and start googling prices, saying them aloud, and making snarky comments! Neurodivergent or not, you can't get away with backhanded compliments!!
Exactly - I so agree. And I’m auadhd AND I grew up shtass poor and that gf WAS being passive aggressive by CALCULATING everything. I truly don’t understand why everyone is treating the girlfriend so fragile in this situation. She’s not 12!! Wait, was she 12?? Is the boyfriend a child? I thought he was an adult.
Just wanting to give another perspective! :) I have Celiac (since 7 and am now in my 30s) on top of Type 1 Diabetes and my symptoms range from stomach cramps (mild to extreme), to throwing up and nearly passing out, and I can't say exactly what the girl is going through because the experiences between people with chronic food issues differs so wildly. But from my own experience: I completely get it. Even today I eat gluten and suffer for it and it had nothing to do with my parents not showing me "tough love" to "teach me a lesson" as some people have commented. She needs therapy. Growing up having to deal with these issues is traumatizing AF and I'm still working through my own trauma of it all to this day. Morgan wasn't wrong when she mentioned how socially isolating it is, but the biggest factor for me was how Fing EXPENSIVE the food I am REQUIRED to eat is. If I go to the store to buy some frozen chicken tenders, I get a third of what the brand name bag contains at 4 times the price. My husband and I are exhausted and just want an easy fast food meal for dinner but wither we choose to eat from the same 5 places that I know I can eat at that are local, or I tell him to get what he wants and he feels guilty for making me scrounge together something to eat despite both of us both working full time jobs while I go to school. Yeah, life is hard, I can hear the peanut gallery saying, but my point is, there are a lot of reasons why someone chooses to do this and it doesn't matter if you think they're good reasons or not, the daughter needs support that only a professional can give. Hell, it wouldn't be the worst idea to go to therapy as a family because this affects the family unit.
OMG YES! It is so funny how most adults can agree that dieting is hard but expect this child to just eat "good for her" foods. I have been sick for as long as I can remember and I didn't get any diagnosis until I was 22. My entire childhood was filled with people commenting on how sick I always was and doctors basically shrugging. Even as an adult bad days can make me feel like my body is prison, or having me comparing myself to my able bodied pears. But, Holy Hell was it much more intense when I was younger. I missed out on a lot of standard teen milestones because I was sick. I did things that were counter to my health just to be able to feel "normal" for a short time, well into young adulthood. A close friend of mine was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in our teens and went through a similar period. I do feel like it is a trauma that can be difficult to empathize with if you haven't gone through it. However, it is just cruel to punish a child for acting like a child while enduring something that is physically and mentally taxing.
Yes, yes, all of this. I don't think people understand the pain of food intolerances/allergies etc. I have GORD, and IBS -suspected chrones. And you are so right, some days my body feels like a prison. People do not get it, they comment all the time on the food I eat. Even my friends who have known for years push me to eat things with them that I should never eat. It's isolating, it's hard and it's unfair. Leaving her alone at the hospital for the 2 days isn't the answer to me. But I'm not a parent of a teenager too.
I am on the AIP diet. I've always had issues with food. I want the food that's going to make me feel my best. I'm on my 3rd job where not joining in on food related activities is causing trouble. I make it clear I have food allergy and sensitivity issues. While everyone acknowledges that, they still bombard me with questions. Can you eat this? How about this? What about just a bite or taste? Can you pick that out and eat it? Why don't you want to join us for food days? Can't you just come sit with us? I actually get complaints made about me not joining. I have gotten pulled into management's offices to discuss this. My food issues are protected under the ADA. No one should be forcing me to go anywhere for food, nor should any complaints be made against me. It's 1 thing to cater in food and quite another to go to a restaurant. On top of good issues, I'm allergic to fragrances and chemicals. Going to a restaurant can sometimes subject me to awful smells that make me sick. I also have a migraine condition and do my best to avoid lights and sounds. I don't care what anyone else eats, I don't understand why they care so much about what I eat. I never complain that anyone is getting food catered that i can't eat. I never complain that coworkers are going to a restaurant that isn't compliant for me. I have always said, just ignore me and go have a good time. For some reason, this infuriates people. It's been 6.5 years and I'm still getting the 3rd degree.
Story 5: personally if my mom wouldn’t have even visited on Christmas, it would have harmed my relationship with her, NOT teach me a lesson. I understand you have to know your own kids, but I would have been heartbroken if my mom didn’t at the very least come by. 16 is still a child and needs support IMO
Yeah for sure but considering the daughter is willing to ruin Christmas willingly for her and her mom and probably the rest of the family I think there's a problem here that needs to be addressed because I think it was a way for the mom to say I don't support you making yourself sick more than I don't support you being sick. Idk if that makes sense but there is something inherently wrong in someone making themselves hospitalized repeatedly voluntarily. Just "being there for her" isn't solving it either so I think it was a way for the mom to draw the line so she would get consequences to her actions and if it has to be on Christmas then so be it.
As someone who’s birthday is actually on the 25th of December I can agree Christmas always overshadows my birthday. I think the whole “child of Christmas” idea is great and I wish I had something like that growing up.
First husband: Absolute AH, AH immediately after cutting the onsie Edit: if I remember correctly, only the children aren’t aloud to touch the elf, screw your magic, horrible dad Edit: SHE WAS WEARING THE ONSIE WHILE HE CUT IT? Vile man
Story #5, it sounds like the daughter might have developed an ED, and her continuing to eat foods that make her ill enough to be hospitalized could be a form of self harm. I think individual and family therapy would be very beneficial.
I have definitely seen postpartum depression in men completely ruin marriages since they’re so unlikely to get help. They start really out of character behavior and start seeking other relationships 😢
That’s not postpartum. That’s panic and other feelings. Maybe ppl call if that cuz it’s easier but dad wasn’t pregnant so their hormones aren’t all messed up. To say men’s feelings about fatherhood is the same as post pregnancy is idk. Silly?
Story 3: I can understand the husband’s frustration at being bamboozled about the Disney trip. The wife could’ve cleared it with him so that they could have also booked the tickets early and tagged along. That being said, what’s done is done. It makes no fiscal sense to decline the trip now. Their children’s accommodation is paid for by the grandparents already. If they as a family decide to go in the future, I’m sure they’ll still be spending more than $5000 considering they’d have to cover for 4 people instead of 2.
Exactly, like they just completely skipped over the fact that the plans were made without him. Isn't Morgan always talking about how couples need to parent together and work as a team? The way they talked about the guy was so shitty.
They will be spending more than $5000 in the future but they will have time to save for it. They are assuming that he just isn't trying hard enough but if it was really possible wouldn't the wife be making it happen?
For the first story, it’s sucks to imagine those kids growing up and realizing that the elf couldn’t have actually done those things, so someone else did it, and given the pieces, I’m sure they would quickly realize who it was. I think that the letter OP wrote was amazing. I’m sure her son is a lot happier now and much more at peace hearing from Bob himself and knowing that Santa still cares.
For the gold digger story, I couldn’t help but think OP was TA. I think it’s werid that the gf counted up the prices of the gifts, but I agree with your brother that she’s probably unfamiliar around that sort of luxury. OP calling the gf classless and whatnot seemed a bit classicist too but idk. They both could have done better !
idk as someone who doesn’t come from money and grew up below the poverty line, i would not consistently bring up how much something is or ask how much something costs. i would literally 😦 in my mind and text my friends 😭
I would say everybody sucks in this situation, because OP invited the GF to their house at christmas to stay over and GF keeps talking about wanting to know how much things cost and at dinner she announced how much the total of all the gifts were, which is very rude and disrespectful, but if the brother had discussed this with the GF then this could have been avoided. The OP is in the wrong as there was a better way to handle the situation to put the GF right by just saying that's quite rude to announce that at dinner, please don't bring it up again, I would rather we talked about something else. so in my opinion, everyone sucks and they should all apologise to each other for the hurt feelings.
The GF is ignoring all social etiquette. You don’t ask about money or prices of gifts. It doesn’t matter if the people you are with are rich or poor. The only time I ever commented on gifts was to my brother that he had no obligation to buy for xmas or my birthday, as I know he has financial issues and wanted to make that clear. The money issues were left unsaid. He had got his gift early from me already so didnt want pressure
@@emmaglover6480 i agree. I also grew up poor, and even as a kid i knew better than to mention peoples luxuries/money and i ESPECIALLY knew better than to count their pockets and comment on what i think about what they can or can’t afford 💀💀
oh my god and here I am, googling what Elf on the shelf means, thinking it's some kinky intimate thing americans do around christmas 🤣 i'm going to hell
I also just learned of this a few weeks ago. Never heard of it before and here in Germany we don't have this custom. I'm still not sold of this concept,but if people agree to harmless little pranks, I think it's ok. But not these extremes, that I heard of on here or tiktok!
Story 4 - As an expecting mom (Due in 5 weeks), if my spouse ever did/said what this father did... they would never see my baby again. If they wanted to get help and treat the obvious mental health issue at play here, that is great... but I could never trust them alone with the child ever again. I am the child of an emotionally/mentally/verbally abusive mother and though I have healed from that, it took 10 years of no contact to get to that place. I know its not so cut and dry because he is the biological father of this baby. But I would be out of that house so fast it would make his head spin.
Omg, I love your Brother and SIL! How did you two end up so cool? Btw, I really like your Dad. I think he had a large part in how awesome you two turned out. He didn’t ‘have to’ be there but not only was he there for you, he was there for your Brother too. You guys rock!!! ❤
I feel like if the elf story was a movie the elf would be some sort of evil item that influenced the dad to do all that to the kids, and it escalates until the family has to come together to defeat it
My daughter is born on Christmas, we go all out on her birthday. We set up a special table just for her. Decorated with birthday balloons and a banner over it. We did a birthday cake, she got to pick dinner, she got more birthday gifts then Christmas presents. We wake her up with happy birthdays and kisses then later in the day say marry Christmas. She loved it! We did a unicorn theme birthday (her favorite). 🥰❤️💕🎄🎁🎈🎆 I’m huge on birthdays, we go all out on my sons birthday too. They love it. I love it! 🎉
I agree that the dad needs to try & make Disney happen, but I also think the wife should’ve talked to him about it before. Maybe they could’ve adjusted money they spent for Christmas & make it more financially feasible for them if he had a heads up.
The problem, to me, with the wealth question, and you touched on it, is that given context someone can know that you really genuinely want to know for your own interest, but just asking without any context feels like you’re just asking for the purpose of judging them regardless of what they answer. The fact that she repeatedly judged them for their spending adds to that.
The Disney story. I'm 33 and I still light up going to Disney even though my family went at least once a year for years when I was younger. Now i get to watch my daughter light up the times we have gone. Core memories for me and her. Was there for the 25 anniversary and the birthday cake castle and went last month and saw the 50th castle and saw it with my daughter. I cried seeing it with her. There will always be magic at Disney as long as you believe in it.
I really hope the family does end up going to Disney with the grandparents. My mom took me and my sisters with my grandma and grandpa (her in laws) since my dad couldn't go because of work. We had a great time and still talk about that trip all the time!
Random observation. Your brother seems like he’s a good dad. Like he’s very considerate of his Children’s feelings. Very respectable. I’m sure they’re both great parents
Story 5. . There are therapists yhat deal with chronic illness issues. I missed if there were other siblings... and it makes me wonder if some part of this girl is just trying to have that time with her mother. As a mom with kids with chronic health issues, I would be 100% be making sure that the foods available would be the least likely to make my kid sick. That said- the 16 yo knows what's going to happen.. she needs to be taught a lesson essentially
My birthday is 12/26 and I felt I got screwed when I was young. I expressed it to my hubby and he and the kids always made sure it was distinctly different. They spoiled me.
That last story ... I can totally understand the mom's frustration, but as a medically complicated person with a ton of different allergies, sensitivities, and intolerances I can 100% see the daughter's point of view. I mean I'm 22 and sometimes I still eat/drink my trigger foods, or do something I know I technically shouldn't do because of my health issues, especially in social situations. I've been "complicated" since I was a kid and it can get *extremely* frustrating not being "normal". I feel like even though she's annoyed the mom should've stayed at least most of if not the whole time because she's only 16! 16 year olds are naturally immature and resistant to reality. I also think the outside context of how her mother approaches the situation would be important to know
i don't have dietary issues so i don't have the same viewpoint, but my best friend (17) has serious issues with gluten and my mother is extremely lactose intolerant. they don't go out of their way to eat food they can't have, even tho it's upsetting. and the family in the story _made_ accommodations. there was food there she liked. :(
I'm lactose intolerant and I understand not eating the foods that you use to have. As a kid, I would eat dairy without care till I got tired of feeling crappy afterward. By 16 I didn't actively choose to eat the foods I know aren't good for me. When we have family gatherings my mom makes sure there is food that I can eat and if not we bring something from home to share that I can eat.
I understand what you're saying but this is on another level. She is in the hospital repeatedly for days at a time. The mom didn't abandon her. She was only absent on Christmas day and was on the phone with her. She can follow this up with counselling to understand why she is making these choices but she needs to know that there are consequences for her behaviour.
Regarding the vomiting story. I’m 23 and have stomach failure, IBS, IBD (Crohn’s disease), and low stage intestinal failure. I am not meant to eat at all as my stomach has failed and can’t function. I am tube fed into my intestines with a liquid feed. Obviously I want to eat but it’s been a learning curve as if I can’t drain my stomach like if I eat something that’s not liquid or soft it can make me extremely poorly and I’d need hospital and to go on to TPN. I now don’t eat “food” I’ve accepted I can just have some small amounts of liquid food that I can drain out so I can still enjoy the taste without it affecting my stoma and surgical feeding tubes. Ice cream, soup, smoothies, etc. the ER is never worth the food…
The dad cursing out the baby story is probably the most chilling story I’ve ever heard from this podcast. Something about it is really, really unsettling.
The first story hit home. I was born on the 23rd. You already feel forgotten, hell i never had birthday parties because of the holiday. Poor kiddo will remember that forever
The Disney story is so wild to me. As a parent myself, you get SOOO many firsts with your children. There are “firsts” that grandpa won’t even be alive for after he passes. The father is being so selfish for trying to take a “last” from his Father in law and just ONE of many “firsts” for his girls. They will always remember this trip. Very much the AH.
Also the dad broke my heart. As a mom of a blended family who also has a bonus kid with their birthday the day after Christmas it’s such a tough limbo anyway to make sure he gets his day. eff that guy
I wonder if the girl throwing up in the ER doesn't get a lot of one on one time with her mom and she does this on part because she knows it gets her attention. She definitely needs therapy. Her and her mom need to do fun things together that still build her up and give her attention without the need to hurt herself so badly. If this has happened for years she needs to understand there are other ways for her to be special and appreciated than to make herself sick
As someone who has spent a lot of time in the hospital I always hated the term frequent flyer - i don’t need a reminder that I come here often 😅 i can also confirm it’s hurtful when people don’t visit you in the hospital
Also they do have loss therapy for people with Chronic illnesses - she’s dealing with the loss of doing normal teenage things like eating fun holiday food which her peers are probably talking about
Processed crap like chips and candy are holiday foods? More like everyday foods... there were HOMECOOKED meals she could have eaten... including treats she could have enjoyed...she is 16 and selfish.
i’m 17 and my brothers 19 and my mom STILL does santa. she knows we know he’s not real and the gifts are from her, but she still likes to do it and i love her for it
damn the second story hit me hard. i’ve always lived below the poverty line and spending crazy amount on arbitrary things has always shocked me, so if I were in that situation I probably would’ve reacted the same without even realizing it wasn’t socially acceptable. Thankfully i mostly keep to myself, because my ex girlfriends family was very well off and during the holidays I was just like holy shit the whole time haha
As someone whose gone through abuse by a parent and grown up poor the elf and gold digger stories hit a bit close to home. The GF could legit be overwhelmed by how luxury things are and have no malice behind it. I see where the sister is coming from but at the same time if it was really bugging her instead of talking to the brother she should’ve pulled the gf aside and said hey this isn’t something we talk about. For the elf story, you can have a “naughty” elf without being abusive. The father complaining they didn’t do anything wrong, like what? These are the kids that end up being the bully bc their parents are the bully
my entire extended family on my moms side - 14 people total, mostly kids - all went to Disney world in Florida after my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was 13 and it’s an experience with my aunt I’ll never forget ❤
The last story with the girl who has serious food issues: nah. If she makes herself sick on purpose because she doesnt want to be responsible, fine then. Im not gonna worry about you anymore because you stress me out and you will not learn. So suffer alone. Youre wasting my money, time, emotions
All Christmas while listening to podcasts I had to wait until I was alone to listen or be constantly on edge waiting to pause the video if I’m around my children. the warning before elf on the shelf was such a relief! Thank you so much for that.
The golddigger story. I agree with your brother she's probably overwhelmed BUT being from a third world country I've seen real poverty and really low income people and they know how to behave, they're often the most polite and respectful when it comes to boundaries and uncomfortable conversations even in front of real money.
Exactly. Usually income is a touchy subject from both sides, the rich and poor. So to say maybe she’s never seen so much money spent on objects, it’s okay to think but not say. Plus you’d think she’d know because she’s dating the brother so I’m sure she’s aware to some extent.
Exactly. I don't like how everyone is excusing her rudeness with "Maybe she's just poor!" Um, poor people have manners - they usually have MORE manners about wealth because they don't like to draw attention to it or discuss it.
For the one Disney story, I see it as the kids being on the young side and when they can take them, those memories of the park will be more vivid but the memory with their grandpa at certain spots will make it that much more special for them. Like having him there everytime
When I met my now husband it became very clear to me that his family had some money. Parents and both older brothers all lived in million dollar homes and his parents have a beach house that’s also worth a million mostly due to where it’s located but still. I however grew up much lower class. We weren’t crazy poor but we were poor. I grew up buying my own groceries and clothes from the age 16 and going to food pantries with my mom. We lived paycheck to paycheck. I not once would EVER do something like this girl. Privately? Maybe. I definitely talked to my friends about it and how uncomfortable it was at times and adjusting to their lifestyle but I would never ever say anything out loud. Or even think to look up all of the gifts and figure out the total. That’s so inappropriate. This girls was clearly not taught this type of common sense.
I've never understood why people with Christmas babies don't have "half birthday" parties. It would be in the June-ish time frame and they could have a party any day of the week on school break
My birthday is on December 21st, maybe it’s because it’s far enough away from Christmas, but I always got two gifts, even for my parties. Now that I’m an adult, people get busy with other parties and family stuff or go away for holiday. I usually celebrate the weekend before or even earlier in the month. Then have a chill day with one or two people (or just pamper myself ) on my actual bday.
My birthday is Dec 29th... I would have hated a half birthday it's too far from my actual birthday to be special and almost minimizes the importance of my actual birthday... I would never do that to my children. My brother's birthday is on Christmas and making it extra special for him was definitely the way to go...
@betholomaus3196 yes exactly... since my brother's birthday was on Christmas that's exactly what we did. Mornings were for Christmas presents and afternoon was cake time and birthday celebration for him and we always went out to eat to celebrate his birthday
@Betholomaus :3 my friend has a Christmas baby and split the day like that. If I had a Christmas birthday, I'd want a half birthday party because as a kid, it would make me sad to not have my friends available for a party.
My parents never taught me to believe in Santa and I don’t regret it. Made for some awkward convos with other kids but Christmas was still just as magical 💫
Baby monitor - wife needs to get things sorted quick, my son was a wonderful newborn just like OPs but by the time he got the terrible twos he was a nightmare. If OPs daughter is anything like him the husband will be going onto another level and I don't feel like OP or their daughter would be safe.
As a Dec 24th baby birthdays and Christmas are very much combined and sometimes it sucks that I can’t celebrate with friends or feel special by getting to bring treats to class. Especially because my family is religious so we have church on my birthday.
As someone who grew up with a HUGE Christmas for us being $200 spent in total on everyone I may have reacted the same way. To someone who has very little 3000 may as well be 1 million. Social etiquette is not known if it isn't taught. The sister missed a huge opportunity to bond with this girl but instead belittled her and assumed her motives were nefarious when they could have been quite innocent or ignorant
Yep! I imagine that people who grew up with food insecurity or living paycheck to paycheck easily could feel uncomfortable or even frustrated watching huge sums of money get spent of frivolous things 😅 So I would never in my wildest dreams call Lindsey the AH. Especially because the alternative probably is that she’s on the spectrum - or both things could be true!
@@caffe1n8ed Yes! Exactly! I had a single mother and father who was an addict. My mom got all off her clothes from friends or family members second hand never new. As a mother now, even though we can afford for me to, I have an immense amount of guilt buying new clothing or spending a large amount of money on ANYTHING. The kids stuff is the only exception. I have said some things in the past that could have been interpreted in a similar way because I couldn't fathom someone spending so much money on a new car or purse. It was culture shock for sure when someone spends more than your grocery budget is for a month on a purse.
It's one thing to be shocked by how someone else spends money. It is completely different to make those comments. I wouldn't have called her a gold-digger because that implies an intention. But she does seem to be obsessed with money. It wasn't 1 or 2 questions. It sounded like an audit. And it was judgemental too. This isn't money etiquette it is basic manners. When someone's family does things differently than yours you don't harp on it while you are in their house. She made the comments in front of everyone so it is fair to respond in front of everyone.
Sorry I would feel uncomfortable if someone came into me home and started Googling my things and asking where the cost and my family salary was, as a brown adult those are things you learn, from work, social settings and educational settings etc
I absolutely believe this was done out of ignorance. In my family, it's nothing to discuss your salary or relay the cost of items. No one is independently wealthy. All of us are constantly discussing better jobs, better pay and benefits. If anyone knows of a better company or better positions available at their work, we all openly discuss wages. Hey, you make$15/hr. you can make $17.5/hr if you apply here. If you get that job, everyone knows what you make because that was the starting wage. My children and I are the highest wage earners in my family. We all work very hard, I've had 2 jobs most of my adult life. Our understanding of money, finances and cost of living is different than our family. I've been told we are talked about for being stuck up and thinking we are better than others. My kids and I put our employment front and center. We know that without these funds, we won't live the same. This girl was clearly dazzled by her boyfriend's family and their lifestyle. She asked questions that were likely common in her family, but inappropriate in mixed company.
For the Christmas kid, my brother was born on the 25th and we always had this time is christmas and then later in the day was my brothers time. And then in June we did a half birthday for him so he still had a special day and time
The worst thing our elf did this year was get into my makeup & draw on my daughter (5yo & 3yo) faces. But our elf made sure it was on a Friday so no school & it was easily washed off 🤣 it was so funny seeing my kids wake up. But having an elf isn’t about being mean, it suppose to be funny and fun for the KIDS.
![ลองสุ่มไอโฟน 990 โกงมั้ย? [ โกงมั้ยครับ ep.101 ] | DOM](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/bfsWe0j492k/mqdefault.jpg)
I gotta say, thank you for the parent warning at the beginning of the Elf on the Shelf story! I listen on my way to work and sometimes my daughter listens with me (don’t worry, I turn down the volume when things get a little too adult). I heard your warning and immediately changed videos. Thank you thank you thank you.
Didn’t want to ruin the magic for any little ones ❤
@@TwoHotTakes I appreciate it! I don’t interact often, but I love you guys dearly and look forward to your posts every week! They are my “do anything” go to! Lunch break, drive to work, chores. My almost 9yr daughter often asks to listen to “the pretty blonde girl with the pretty voice videos” too 😂.
@@BabyWitchling you’ve just made my night ❤ thank you for being here. Love the way your daughter describes me 🥰
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On the Disney story, I had a similar mindset to OP (along the lines of wanting to be the first one to take my kids to Disneyland) and January of last year, my mother in law started talking to me about wanting to take the kiddos to Disneyland. I was hesitant, and she could tell, so she said all of us could go together. She wanted to go for my daughters birthday (February 9th), but I told her I didn’t know if my husband and I could pull it off financially. She got a bonus at work and used it to take all of us, and we had a blast. 2 weeks later she died unexpectedly, and honestly, I’m so grateful we were able to make that trip with her, i knew how much it meant to her. I miss her every day, and often think of this. I get it, but ultimately our babies only have their grandparents for so long, OP really need to think about that.
So sorry for your loss! But its memories like this that make These hard feelings a little lighter
The way my jaw hit the FLOOR when she repeated what he was saying to the baby 😮 RUN, AS FAST & FAR AS YOUR LEGS CAN CARRY YOU AND YOUR BABY 😭
And the fact that he said more disturbing things that she wasn’t willing to say because she didn’t want the post deleted.
I would have recorded him the next night and then taken my baby and fled the day after. I would only confront him in the safety of my home with my parents and siblings - and even then, I don't know if it would be salvageable. What he was doing is terrifying.
And then acting completely normal in front of everyone else... Psychotic behavior. I'm worried for that child's safety.
Highly chilling. I'd be so concerned about having my child near him. I'd get a recording and leave with the child somewhere else. Hopefully her parents are near by.
The kid was still asleep when the dad cut the onesie! Omg... I can imagine how scared and freaked out the kid must've been when he woke up to that...
I don't think the kid would have been scared or freaked out. More like confused and sad.
Kids don't process things the way we do.
Either way he shouldn't have done it.
I think it's stupid when the elves are naughty because they're supposed to make sure the kids aren't being naughty.
honestly is really creepy he did that, is it even his kid i don’t think so soooooo what if he did sum else but the kid never spoke up
@@yea0000 You're reaching, chill tf.
He did that to his 5yr old daughter. He went into his daughters room in the middle of the night with scissors to cut her favorite pajamas while she wore them as she was sleeping. It's PSYCHOTIC
Kids process things differently but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t grow up feeling violated, that is borderline abusive and could lead to major issues down the line
I think for the gold digger post, OP wasn't really in the right but she did ask her brother to bring it up with the gf because they were uncomfortable. The brother is the asshole for not stepping up and telling the gf the night before the lunch that asking about money was a no no. Everything could have been avoided if the brother had just talked to his own girlfriend.
I agree. Brother is the asshole for not making it clear to her that it is unacceptable. That being said I think that's basic common sense. So id be worried what other social queues she doesn't understand. That's not normal. 💯 RED FLAG. I dont think she's necessarily a gold digger but being that oblivious to common social etiquette is weird and concerning.
This is the comment I was looking for. It kinda rubbed me the wrong way how they jumped to the neurodivergent wagon right away. She was warned apparently by the brother and she still decided to push it. The gold digger comment was uncalled for but I get how uncomfortable someone would’ve felt and then angry. OP called her something to hurt her just as she made an uncalled for comment.
@@samanthag6613she was talked to? I want to hear Lindsey side. Maybe it isn’t how making it, but if she is asking about money, she shouldn’t be asking, unless she was genuinely curious about dads work, because she is interested in the field.
This is the perspective I was looking for! I get where they were coming from, but they gave Lindsey too much grace. I'd be put off too if someone who I don't know that well yet was asking me so many questions about how much I spent on this or that, looked up the price of the art on my walls, and to top it all off, looked up the prices of all the gifts and rounded up a total of how much was spent! OP was wrong to call her a goldigger, especially in front of everyone else, but Lindsey was definitely displaying some strange behaviour and I can't understand how she thought such comments would fly, especially in a setting where it seems she did not know everyone that well yet.
Disney story: I think the wife could also have let the husband know about the surprise considering they had already talked about how great it would be for them to take their daughters so they could also plan on being included in the trip from the start and maybe not spend as much as now being on a closer date. They could still have had a nice Christmas surprise for everyone and not miss the experience. I don’t think he should say no though
Totally agree!
That was my first thought. Husband should definitely play along as this point but I could understand the shock and disappointment of finding out your wife approved of this without your knowledge especially if it was something she knew was very important to you.
I agree. If I talked about wanting to take my kids to Disney and someone else decided to take them before I got the chance, I’d be pissed. Disney is more expensive than an international vacation nowadays it’s not something every family can do. I was very privileged to be able to go multiple times in my childhood. If the grandpa is dying ok then have one last hurrah but there are plenty of other vacation options that aren’t Disney.
I agree. The disney trip was something they both had talked about a lot! So to one off them just go behind others back and not decide together is s red flag. A trip potentially costing 10 000 all being a gifts is still something that needs a serious talk and both parents agreeing. Youngest is 5! They won't be remembering much of the trip and would have been as happy to be spending quality time with grandad in a sea world or some other destination near by. Or they could have had a fun disney themed princess party/sleepover! There is a lot of ways to make amazing, fun core memories while the grandad is still alive. Don't just walk over/ignore your significant others feelings because someone has a cancer.
Yeah, they are the AH for not telling him and stealing that moment without him. But if he shut the whole thing down after already telling the girls about the trip, it would be ESH.
This last story reminds me of the guy who would eat dairy specifically on his wife's off day the 16 year old is going to grow up doing this for the rest of her life if the mom doesn't put her foot down
Oh my gosh I remember that story!!! Dang you’re right, it really does need to be put to an end now.
I THOUGHT OF THAT TOO
this.... 100% it's easy for people who aren't parents to judge parents or caregivers as a matter of fact. She is a YOUNG ADULT so she needs to learn her actions have consequences. She knew what she was doing and chose to eat the food regardless. Sure it's a little harsh that they didn't visit them at all BUT I don't think they're the AH 100% maybe a slight AH. Hopefully their kid learns from this.
Yeah. I’m not visiting my 16 yo if they have done this too many times to count. Sorry, but I’ll come if something extreme occurs. And to her family, go visit her if you’re that concerned. Oh… that’s right… you’re not bc you also know she’s playing stupid stuff and winning stupid prizes. Also the bills should be taken out of her Christmas and bday funds. At this point it’s a little ridiculous.
The fourth story is absolutely insane to me. The fact that the dad can just flip back and forth from loving and hateful so quickly , it reads as someone who might potentially snap out of nowhere if he doesn’t get some real help.
Edit: Also to add, while not exactly a nonprofit, but rather a not-for-profit organization, the DBSA (depression bipolar support alliance) is a great organization I’ve supported over the years.
The man is a psychopath! I would get clothes' together and run!!! This man is sick!!! And dear God he is dangerous!!! Talk about a bipolar or just a sick sick guy? Run sweetie RUN RUN RUN
He sounds literally like a serial killer/psychopath.
@@Isabella-vx3bc especially because, if he is sound of mind and good partner and maybe just has bad depression, he should understand and forgive once the dust is settled. Could he be hurt by being considered a potential threat? Sure. Could he hold that over her? Not if he’s concerned for his family’s safety once he is sound of mind again. Definitely an “ask for forgiveness” situation to me.
It's truly terrifying and makes me scared for that baby
I feel like she saw a true side of a sociopath
The story with the new dad and the baby is horrifying. My first thought is the threat of shaken baby syndrome. What if he gets so angry while holding the baby, he starts shaking out of anger instead of cursing? That kind of thing can occur while mom is innocently downstairs and within minutes, that baby may have a condition that makes them lose their life or the life they could have. OP, run.
I pictured him drowning the baby after OP made a point of saying he actively likes bathing her 😖 just blank faced holding her under the water one day. Ugh…I’m making myself nauseous.
1:06:22 this story with the father cursing their baby is horrible. I couldn’t leave the baby alone with her father, not even for a single second. So many terrible things could happen
You have to shake them pretty damn hard it's basically something you won't ever accidentally do. Takes a lot of force signed an emt
To me, this sounds like antisocial or even psychopathic person. I would seriously run and report it to the police. The fact that he’s “the nicest guy ever” and then he so easily switched from cursing his baby to acting completely normal makes me think he’s very used to pretending to be “normal” but will probably end up hurting that baby and her if they don’t leave and she shouldn’t even talk to him about it because I bet he’s very good at manipulating people
I agree with Morgan on the last one. She’s 16 years old, she knows what she’s doing and yes, she’s still a kid and immature but in order to learn that she needs to stop being that level of immature, she needs that tough love. It’s not like she was completely alone and it’s not like the mum had an overly aggressive/ghosting reaction. She basically just said “deal with it yourself since you did it to yourself, even though I warned you many a time”. The kid does not need anymore coddling. Edit: yes, I definitely think she needs therapy.
I 100% agree!
I wonder if she also enjoys the one on one time with mom at the hospital. I was hoping to hear if there where siblings. That could contribute to her risking going to the ER.
Yeah she definitely needs a different way of learning cause what they’re doing now isn’t working and she was in a hospital, not the side of the road…
I was also thinking “how expensive these bills must be, seeing specialist, a hospital room for days, etc. that must be frustrating
It’s not about coddling her. I honestly think they aren’t taking it seriously enough. I feel like it’s being brushed off as a teenager being immature and making poor choices and having to deal with it, in order to “learn a lesson,” but no one would be saying that if she was in the hospital for over eating or anorexia, or something along those lines that we consider to be more severe.
Continuously, purposefully, eating food that is causing your body so much physical distress/harm is a form of disordered eating. And the mother just leaving her in the hospital and being like “well you did it so deal with it,” doesn’t sit right with me. Of course as the one not directly suffering there is only so much you can do, but it sounds like the mom hasn’t done anything to truly find the root of the issue here (mentally not physically).
agreed
So glad you guys mentioned a difference in wealth exposure and the behaviors people have around money. I, raised very poor, have found myself struggling to date people who were raised wealthy bc they don't understand my world view and how uncomfortable money makes me and how ill-equipped I am for situations like that. Would I have commented AT ALL about money or asked those questions? nope. But I wouldve been tallying it up internally for sure
SAME GIRL SAME
I would be curious for sure, but I would NEVER call someone out for how much they spent on a holiday. Rude af.
My ILs now tell my husband to lie to me about how much the stuff they bought cost because I asked them "oh how much this cost" a couple of times. Some people think money is so private and it's offensive to ask. That way, they can feel like they still are normal or not privileged.
Yes the appropriate way us poor people measure our worth to the wealthier class without looking like we brought a shovel with us.
My family was poor as a kid but when richer people flipped that kind of question on us we would be offended too
So if she was poor n got asked all kinds of questions about money youd think she wouldn't do that behavior back
Plus stalking someones budget just because of wealth differences is really strange
One thing i learned growing up poor is that you are grateful for what you get n she should be too and shut up and stop asking questions
story #4 made me think “did i write this” & its truely something i thought wouldn’t happen, until it did. it started with swearing and yelling at our baby until he hurt the both of us physically less than 2 years later. we were able to get out & i’m happy about that! i hope OP is doing good & i wish nothing but the best for her & her little♥️
My depression has been out of control lately, THT always gives me a serotonin boost, I needed this
Same!
Hope you’re feeling alright 🫶
Same sending you some love 😭❤️
Same. Sending hugs. We're going to get through this ❤
Same yall sending everyone good vibes ✨️ glad we have this community 💜 🙏
Story 5 - while I think the mother’s decision was harsh, I can’t help but think “what is the daughter thinking!”. Her mom provided her with plenty of alternatives (delicious ones too according to her). It sounds like the daughter has been hospitalized many many times because it’s always the same reaction so she knows what to expect. So why does she keep doing this to herself? I’m having a hard time believing she will learn her lesson from just being in the hospital. Maybe some tough love will help her out because that’s an insane thing to do to yourself regularly. It almost sounds like self harm although of course I don’t believe it is from what the OP is saying
Hi, type 1 diabetic here. My parents always made me feel awful about my food choices. I went to a nutritionist right after I got diagnosed, but my mom bullied her for suggesting to lower my carb intake. Now, when I try to eat low carb, she and my dad do the same to me, so I just eat whatever they do when I’m with them so they don’t get upset. I’m 21 now and live far away, so I maintain good control when I’m not home and do my best when I am. Lots of parents don’t take their kids’ dietary restrictions seriously, so I commend OP for even trying, though I will say that the trigger foods should’ve been kept in a separate area on the table or in the house so the daughter could have a chance at self control.
the first story is so upsetting. like? the way the father was going out of his way to ruin his child's birthday? wtf
Technically his step child which almost makes it more disturbing
@@petalchild it's giving... male lion unaliving previous male lions cubs 🫣😬
Yeah, I could see the elf getting into a leftover cake slice or something just to be funny but that was too much.
Story 4: As hard as it might be I'd let the father have a couple more "venting sessions" and record it. for the love of all that is good in the world UPLOAD IT TO A CLOUD, or two he doesn't know exists. One recording is not enough and you need to establish a pattern in court because worst case scenario is the baby is in danger.
exactly! for both custody and divorce
Ugh….I hate that this totally makes sense 😖
Hospital Christmas: NTA, the daughter knows the consequences of eating certain foods. OP provided other foods for her to eat, so she didn't have to eat those foods. I wonder if the daughter is purposely making herself sick to get attention, since I'm assuming that OP used to spend the entire time with her in the hospital. Regardless the daughter needs therapy, especially since OP won't be able to be with her at the hospital every single time, especially once she goes to college or moves out.
I have food intolerences and allergies, not to the same severity of the daughter. One of my food allergies is pineapple I end up with hives, hawaiian rolls make me have a full body rash for weeks. Also, red meats, I only know beef and pork, making me vomit until it's out of my stomach. I understand what those foods do to me and I avoid them, no matter how tempting those foods are.
This reminds me of the post with the bf with the milk allergy, who would purposely eat alot of dairy when that OP had a day off.
Yes! I was thinking of the lactose intolerant pizza guy too! 😂
Omg exactly!!!
Oh yesss i was wondering the same and reminded me of that story too
Yeah I don’t necessarily think she purposely does it for attention, but giving her all that attention only encourages it. I would definitely get her therapy :(
NTA forsure. This girl is 16- she’s old enough to know the consequences of her actions and how that will effect others as well. ALSO how much are they spending on hospital bills??? Sounds like a disordered eating tbh OR cyclical vomiting syndrome
Story 2: YTA
I have been the girlfriend before. Granted, I was more lowkey about my shock around money, but I remember crying at my ex's Christmas party after they spent £2000 per person. For reference, growing up, my mum made £7000 a year. The average income in the UK is between 24 and 35 grand. So when I found out that his family spent close to 22 grand on presents ALONE (not including decorations or food) I was astounded. We couldn't even afford a chicken on Christmas.
People's perception of money definitely depends on upbringing and I doubt the girlfriend's remarks were malicious.
I’ve been there too! My first time going into a friend’s family’s mansion in Chicago. I didn’t ask how much stuff cost, but I recall feeling so fish out of water and overwhelmed at how I didn’t belong.
It's not YTA. It's ESH. Because regardless of how the girlfriend grew up (and remember, we don't know for a fact she grew up poor; I know some people who are wealthy and still make crass, rude comments about other peoples' wealth), she crossed the line from awkward to rude when she began judging them for how much they spent. That's not being a good, polite guest. These people hosted her in their home and she chose to spend the entire time making them uncomfortable and almost berating them for their wealth. Also...poor people have manners; it's so weird how everyone is just assuming that poor people are tacky donkeys who behave the way the girlfriend did in that story. No, they don't.
@Aquaphor I'm with you! She had no place to say that. "You already spent all your money on Christmas gifts" ? I'm sorry, but I don't come from money AT ALLL, but I would never tell a partner esp their family that. Idk I grew up being told it's rude to ask about money. Or anything to do with money. Like how much is that watch. How much did you pay for that car.
@Aquaphor I agree with Morgan on the possible neurodivergent when it comes to the girlfriends behavior. I used to live with a girl who has autism and she was just a numbers person and bad at social ques. She literally did the finances for the sorority she is in. I might just be used to it, so I'm not phased by it.
That lady could have been me. I grew up with nothing. Born on a ship, life was always meager and our Sinterklaas presents were usually self made, like dresses made from 2nd hand thrift shop clothes (the 80's were not gentle on 2nd hand shops, my parents shipped a lot to Belgium where there was an abundance in these kinds of shops) or handmade woodworking projects by my dad when he was steering boring waterways. I cherish those presents and I have a couple of boxes still with dresses made from old curtains.
When I got a boyfriend with parents who made a Christmas dinner with multiple pieces of cutlery next to my plate, I internally paniked and started babbling about how we never had money to afford more forks than necessary to eat your dinner with.
It was only much later on that I understood that comment could have been interpreted as a offhanded comment to people who value certain etiquette.
I just had such an amazing experience, and I feel like there’s no better place to share than in this community. I’m watching this episode right after my best friend and her dad left my apartment. They came to visit me at college because I don’t have any family and spend most of my days alone or with my boyfriend. I told them I wanted to feel like I was around family for the holidays, and my boyfriend’s family is a tad unwelcoming towards me. We spent a few days together, catching up and showing them my new life and my apartment. They bought me over $300 worth of groceries and toiletries to last me “hopefully until the end of the semester”. This morning, before the left to go home, they asked if I would want to be adopted by them. Her dad said that he hates the thought of me not having someone to call when I need advice or help with something. I also don’t have health insurance right now, so being adopted means I can be on their insurance plan. This is something that I never thought I’d want, because I’ve never seen a family that was so unconditionally supportive; but when he asked me, I almost started crying right at the breakfast table. I can’t believe I have the opportunity to finally have a family that visits me, supports me, wants me to succeed, and truly loves me.
beautiful✨🥹
Heartwarming story!
That's so awesome congratulations
story 5 is so tough, I'm wondering if there's maybe even an undiagnosed eating disorder there? Binging? The amount she is throwing up cannot be good for her throat/teeth
yeah this is what i was thinking the whole time. having so many food restrictions placed on you, especially as a kid, more often than not leads to binging. i am kinda disappointed no one pick up that this could be why she eats the way she does, however i also know it’s no one’s fault. binge eating disorder isn’t really ever taken as seriously as it should, from what i’ve seen it’s usually chalked up to being greedy/ having a lack of self control.
They said it happens only with crap foods... I dont eat most meats because it makes me sick... Everyone handles foods differently. Shes 16 and should know better.
Yeah I was wondering the same thing. I get that she is old enough to know better but the fact that she called her mom crying made me think there's more to it. Idk, if it is something more serious this could have made it worse for her.
That's what I was thinking too and surprised it didn't get brought up!
@@BisexualBeauty thats what made me think it could be a disorder though... a lot of the foods people tend to be ashamed about after they eat ARE the processed and unhealthy junk food.
Disney dad’s wife should have said, “I like that idea, let me check in with husband about it.” when her mom approached her about it a month ago.
Not just that. The grandparents, one weak from cancer, are going to take care of the kids alone? Like you g kids? What if one runs off? What about bathroom breaks? The whole plan is not right
Regarding the story about the food and hospitalisation. I was diagnosed with coeliac disease as a toddler. My symptoms are pretty severe and include throwing up for hours on end. I could never eat the cool food or the yummy looking snacks. I was the weird kid in school with the funny food. Etc etc. None of that, at any age, has made me want to actually eat the food I was missing out on. The effects it causes are absolutely not worth it. It's painful, I burst blood vessels in my face so I look wild, and more. So I'm having a hard time figuring out what is up with this kid! Why would she keep eating stuff when she gets so sick? There must be something else going on and it definitely needs to be looked into. I feel for her but this isn't good. I also feel for the mum and I wouldn't be surprised if she's kinda at the end of her rope with it. Maybe therapy would be a good shout.
First episode of 2023 and it’s early, you do like to treat us
For the last story, love the advice on getting help for dealing with a chronic illness. It’s already so taxing to deal with the illness itself and especially with the exhaustion of trying to find a diagnosis. I would’ve loved to talk to someone as a kid to have tools to help cope with all of that before I got to a low point.
About Santa: I feel like telling your kids about Santa can be good, it's all about the reveal. When my parents told me they said that the secret is that Santa isn't one person, it's everyone who works to make Christmas cheer. And then they took me to get gifts for my little sister so that I could be Santa too. It should be a fun inclusive thing
This is how I want to let my future kid know about the Santa secret. I was told by my step sister because my mom pissed her off. It's also how I found out I was partly adopted down the line.
This is such a cute way to explain it to kids when they’re ready!
I like this idea.
Aww I love how the dog just sat there for a few minutes like a guest host.
The man whispering horrible things to the baby gave me chills! RUN MOMMY! TAKE THE BABY WITH YOU! THAT MAN MAY BE A PSYCHOPATH!
story 5: im with morgan. i don’t think the moms the asshole for leaving her at the hospital because how will she learn if you just keep allowing her to do the same thing with no further consequences, with that i think the mom should start telling her that she needs to help pay the hospital bills with her allowance or checks if she has a job, so it puts it into perspective just how much this not only affects her but other people as well. this will also help her manage her money!
I agree. Also, if you change the words "fried foods, sweets, ect" & replace it with "drugs"......how can you support that 16y.o making those decisions & dealing with it by say "ok i'll be here for you"? Yes support your child, but til an extent then putting your foot down
Omggg story #4 is absolutely terrifying 😳 There's gotta be something wrong with that man for cursing and insulting his baby. Last story: it could go way deeper than just the food sensitivity. Who knows what the home life is like. She could feel somewhat neglected by her mom and her eating trigger foods and getting sick could be her way of getting "quality time" and attention from her mom. Who knows?!
For the first story if I was a kid and the naughty elf was doing that stuff I would be legit scared of it😳 lol
Yeah, like the child gets in a trouble in school and wakes up with a missing kidney 😅
Yeah they probably felt like Chucky was going to take them D:
@@manp112 yes! That’s the vibe I was getting 😅
@@bigelowkaryn hahaha 😂
@Briselda Munoz yes!! Exactly ! I was afraid of dolls and chucky so bad when I was kid, I was honestly scared of Barney and Mickey Mouse too lol
Story 3, I think the OP was mad because, he wasn't apart of the conversation about going to disneyland. His wife knew that he wanted to bring his kids to Disneyland. Why she didn't use this opportunity for six of them to go. She just decided that their kids will go with the grandparents.
I think the dad is NTA, he just wanted to go too. And on the other hand, why the wife didn't wanna go too?
Maybe the wife wanted to let her kids have one last big grandparents day and make memories just with the grandparents
I was searching for this EXACT comment, it's weird that 1. husband wasn't apart of the conversation. and 2. why exclude the parents from the trip?
@@senniminnibaby5011 I was thinking the same thing. Dad's not mad theyre going, he's mad they've made the decision without him and excluded him to the point that he'd have to miss it because it's been left to basically last minute
Dad was being a baby. FIL does not have all the time in the world to plan. The man is DYING. let him take the kids. It’s just an amusement park, he needs to get over it.
@@stephi25 Is that an excuse to leave out the OTHER parent in the conversation? And I believe that the overall experience would be better if the whole family went. Yeah he's dying, so wouldn't it be better to get pictures and have a fun time with everyone?
Trigger warning for ED, please proceed with caution
The last story really clocks as eating disorder behavior to me for some reason. For someone with an eating disorder it would def be a win win scenario if the most delicious, high calorie foods made you sick so you didn't have to make yourself vomit manually. That's just my instinct for that story with the limited information we have but in any case she 100% should see a therapist, it's definitely a little deeper than being an irresponsible teenager
I thought the same thing. Recovered Binge and Bulimic here. Felt like self harm/ED.
Exactly my thoughts, or disordered eating in the fact she has no self control around food. If that is the case then them all eating the trigger foods around her is so unfair
I also used to have an eating disorder back in HS & this doesn't sound like it. You have to consider that the now teen has been dealing with this issue & disorder since she was a child. Possibly as young as 5 or 7 since the parents were able to not buy the foods. Now that she's a teen she can do it herself, hence why it's increased.
The comments that make me think this is how she reacted to OP not going to the hospital, throwing out the guilt trips too. It sounds more like she does this often & especially on holidays to make it about her.
ED also stands for erectile disfunction.
I love when you have your brother and SIL on, they’re awesome. SIL sounds like such a great mom, I really enjoy hearing her takes.
“She’s talking about us” really made me giggle I wasn’t expecting that 😂 loved this episode 💕
On the last story I believe for a 16 year old this strikes me as a form of self harm, the intention behind it (attention, depression, etc) doesn’t really matter the bottom line is she needs therapy and more support. The mom’s frustration is understandable and I think it makes sense for her to do what she did in this situation. My main concern is that this is not being treated with the same urgency as any other sign of more traditional self hard would be.
For the third one i think the dad is feeling like he's being robbed and maybe excluded because the in-laws and the wife discussed the trip and stuff without reaching out to him too knowing full well he was very excited about bringing them himself
I think if they asked him or even just filled him in before it was all decided he would feel different about it
Exactly. Everyone is attacking the poor guy but I don't really think he's in the wrong. That's a decision that both parents should be a part of, not just one. And if he knew in advance, he would've had an extra month to save up money for them to go too. I feel like if it was the dad who made the decision and the mom was the one who didn't know, maybe the opinions would be different.
The whole time I was like but his WIFE never said anything to him when he was so excited to go for their first. The betrayal he must feel. The pure lack of consideration and communication in that is what is baffling me.
Substitute the dying grandfather for a close family friend. I guarantee no one would say he's in the wrong.
The first one with the elf literally seems like the dad just wants to abuse his power or some kind of power trip ...
Definitely gets way to much pleasure out of making the kids upset
I work 4 am shift. Im so glad when new episodes come out right when I’m clocking in :)
Yes I agree
Omg same ❤
@@kellyalejandra2563 😐👍🏻
I appreciated the bowel disease mention in the last story, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis in my early 20's and this led to alot of food sensitivities that weren't present berforehand. I absolutely went through a "grieving" period for my past life with no limitations that led me to eat these foods purposely knowing it would hurt me or affect me negatively. This is for sure a mix of both physical and mental health. I started seeing a dietician and a chronic disease psychologist and found it so healthy and helpful. I hope she gets some help and some answers. It can be so darn lonely.
You put this perfectly! I'm 25, was diagnosed with Crohn's 2 years ago after almost dying from complications in hospital. While I'm in remission now, the mental aspect and lifestyle adjustments are such a major part. The stress of not knowing when a flare could happen, how severe it could be, what might trigger it, the medications and side effects - not to mention people commenting on your weight, questioning your strict diet, not understanding being immunocompromised, chronically fatigued etc. It's all very draining. We have great healthcare here but out of the countless appointments I've been to, only one asked how I was going mentally. I just burst straight into tears! I didn't realize just how much I was struggling until she asked. And I finally admitted to her that I felt stuck grieving for the life I would have had, just like you mentioned. I'm looking into therapy but a chronic disease psychologist sounds fantastic! I know it can be cripplingly lonely. I've found the IBD community on reddit helps me feel a bit more sane and not alone on bad days. Sending you lots of virtual hugs! ❤
@@zoelannan4569 This was so sweet and very much needed so I thank you for replying! I'm also 25 and have been in and out of UC remission for a little over 2 years also. I couldn't agree more with everything you said. I think people see chronic illness as a simple thing but so much goes into it. Mentally and physically, we are constantly battling ourselves in a body we don't necessarily want to be in. I haven't looked into IBD reddit but I surely will do because of this. Sending endless love and healing energy your way
Second story: not the asshole.
She knew what she was doing as she made the sparky "I can't believe you can afford that after spending ____$ on gifts!"
If she didn't want to be called out publicly she shouldn't have made those public comments.
It's not that she's asking, it's her comments afterwards.
Also, as a neurodivergent person the biggest pet peeve is someone saying their neurodivergent and being able to get off with making rude or negative comments. If it's rude for a neurotypical to say it to you, it's usually rude if a neurodivergent person says it.
So glad I'm not alone. I lived lower middle class n my 1st bf came from wealth n when I went to his house I was so nervous n weird about it. But I would NEVER have thought of GOOGLING the cost of their artwork n then ANNOUNCING the cost like WHAT
Yea it feels like theyre giving her a lot of beneift of the doubt more so than other stories. The way she handled it was very passive agressive, at the same time once the brother was supposed to say something is where it shouldve stopped. As an autistic person i understand not getting social ques completely, but making the assumption that this person has to be neurodivergent because of rude comments just feels a little weird to me.
@@hotdogwater9580 It bothers me too, we don't need to be so severely coddled and we are never taught that what we do is considered rude because "they're neurodivergent " or "they're autistic" Just because they don't know social cues dosent mean they are neurodivergent, either.
They can be autistic AND being rude, it's not mutually exclusive. I Haye when people coddle neurodivergent/disabled people, it just creats a stereotype that we ALL are stuffed into. You can be autistic and know social etiquette, you can be neurotypical and be dense ad a show on social climates. It's just stupid
@@sarahhaybron9894 exactly! There's a difference between
"Omg, I love the watch! How much was it?" "Oh, you're a __? That's amazing! How much do you make ? "
And
"Oh my god, you payed THAT much for a painting? "I'm surprised you can afford to go anywhere with those gifts"
One is general questions of interest and the other is back handed compliments/ passive agression.
People are acting like the woman didn't come into someone else's house and start googling prices, saying them aloud, and making snarky comments! Neurodivergent or not, you can't get away with backhanded compliments!!
Exactly - I so agree. And I’m auadhd AND I grew up shtass poor and that gf WAS being passive aggressive by CALCULATING everything. I truly don’t understand why everyone is treating the girlfriend so fragile in this situation. She’s not 12!! Wait, was she 12?? Is the boyfriend a child? I thought he was an adult.
Just wanting to give another perspective! :) I have Celiac (since 7 and am now in my 30s) on top of Type 1 Diabetes and my symptoms range from stomach cramps (mild to extreme), to throwing up and nearly passing out, and I can't say exactly what the girl is going through because the experiences between people with chronic food issues differs so wildly. But from my own experience: I completely get it. Even today I eat gluten and suffer for it and it had nothing to do with my parents not showing me "tough love" to "teach me a lesson" as some people have commented. She needs therapy. Growing up having to deal with these issues is traumatizing AF and I'm still working through my own trauma of it all to this day. Morgan wasn't wrong when she mentioned how socially isolating it is, but the biggest factor for me was how Fing EXPENSIVE the food I am REQUIRED to eat is. If I go to the store to buy some frozen chicken tenders, I get a third of what the brand name bag contains at 4 times the price. My husband and I are exhausted and just want an easy fast food meal for dinner but wither we choose to eat from the same 5 places that I know I can eat at that are local, or I tell him to get what he wants and he feels guilty for making me scrounge together something to eat despite both of us both working full time jobs while I go to school.
Yeah, life is hard, I can hear the peanut gallery saying, but my point is, there are a lot of reasons why someone chooses to do this and it doesn't matter if you think they're good reasons or not, the daughter needs support that only a professional can give. Hell, it wouldn't be the worst idea to go to therapy as a family because this affects the family unit.
OMG YES! It is so funny how most adults can agree that dieting is hard but expect this child to just eat "good for her" foods. I have been sick for as long as I can remember and I didn't get any diagnosis until I was 22. My entire childhood was filled with people commenting on how sick I always was and doctors basically shrugging. Even as an adult bad days can make me feel like my body is prison, or having me comparing myself to my able bodied pears. But, Holy Hell was it much more intense when I was younger. I missed out on a lot of standard teen milestones because I was sick. I did things that were counter to my health just to be able to feel "normal" for a short time, well into young adulthood. A close friend of mine was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in our teens and went through a similar period. I do feel like it is a trauma that can be difficult to empathize with if you haven't gone through it. However, it is just cruel to punish a child for acting like a child while enduring something that is physically and mentally taxing.
Yes, yes, all of this. I don't think people understand the pain of food intolerances/allergies etc. I have GORD, and IBS -suspected chrones. And you are so right, some days my body feels like a prison.
People do not get it, they comment all the time on the food I eat. Even my friends who have known for years push me to eat things with them that I should never eat.
It's isolating, it's hard and it's unfair.
Leaving her alone at the hospital for the 2 days isn't the answer to me. But I'm not a parent of a teenager too.
I am on the AIP diet. I've always had issues with food. I want the food that's going to make me feel my best. I'm on my 3rd job where not joining in on food related activities is causing trouble. I make it clear I have food allergy and sensitivity issues. While everyone acknowledges that, they still bombard me with questions. Can you eat this? How about this? What about just a bite or taste? Can you pick that out and eat it? Why don't you want to join us for food days? Can't you just come sit with us? I actually get complaints made about me not joining. I have gotten pulled into management's offices to discuss this. My food issues are protected under the ADA. No one should be forcing me to go anywhere for food, nor should any complaints be made against me. It's 1 thing to cater in food and quite another to go to a restaurant. On top of good issues, I'm allergic to fragrances and chemicals. Going to a restaurant can sometimes subject me to awful smells that make me sick. I also have a migraine condition and do my best to avoid lights and sounds. I don't care what anyone else eats, I don't understand why they care so much about what I eat. I never complain that anyone is getting food catered that i can't eat. I never complain that coworkers are going to a restaurant that isn't compliant for me. I have always said, just ignore me and go have a good time. For some reason, this infuriates people. It's been 6.5 years and I'm still getting the 3rd degree.
Your SIL is the best. She's always so polite and understanding. I always agree with her takes on stories haha
Story 5: personally if my mom wouldn’t have even visited on Christmas, it would have harmed my relationship with her, NOT teach me a lesson. I understand you have to know your own kids, but I would have been heartbroken if my mom didn’t at the very least come by. 16 is still a child and needs support IMO
Exactly what I thought
Yeah for sure but considering the daughter is willing to ruin Christmas willingly for her and her mom and probably the rest of the family I think there's a problem here that needs to be addressed because I think it was a way for the mom to say I don't support you making yourself sick more than I don't support you being sick. Idk if that makes sense but there is something inherently wrong in someone making themselves hospitalized repeatedly voluntarily. Just "being there for her" isn't solving it either so I think it was a way for the mom to draw the line so she would get consequences to her actions and if it has to be on Christmas then so be it.
As someone who’s birthday is actually on the 25th of December I can agree Christmas always overshadows my birthday. I think the whole “child of Christmas” idea is great and I wish I had something like that growing up.
First husband: Absolute AH, AH immediately after cutting the onsie
Edit: if I remember correctly, only the children aren’t aloud to touch the elf, screw your magic, horrible dad
Edit: SHE WAS WEARING THE ONSIE WHILE HE CUT IT? Vile man
he was the asshole before the onesie. what possesses a grown adult to draw on a child's face with _Sharpie_
@@rats_in_a_PACK true, I forgot about that
Story #5, it sounds like the daughter might have developed an ED, and her continuing to eat foods that make her ill enough to be hospitalized could be a form of self harm. I think individual and family therapy would be very beneficial.
I have definitely seen postpartum depression in men completely ruin marriages since they’re so unlikely to get help. They start really out of character behavior and start seeking other relationships 😢
That’s not postpartum. That’s panic and other feelings. Maybe ppl call if that cuz it’s easier but dad wasn’t pregnant so their hormones aren’t all messed up. To say men’s feelings about fatherhood is the same as post pregnancy is idk. Silly?
Story 3: I can understand the husband’s frustration at being bamboozled about the Disney trip. The wife could’ve cleared it with him so that they could have also booked the tickets early and tagged along. That being said, what’s done is done. It makes no fiscal sense to decline the trip now. Their children’s accommodation is paid for by the grandparents already. If they as a family decide to go in the future, I’m sure they’ll still be spending more than $5000 considering they’d have to cover for 4 people instead of 2.
Exactly, like they just completely skipped over the fact that the plans were made without him. Isn't Morgan always talking about how couples need to parent together and work as a team? The way they talked about the guy was so shitty.
They will be spending more than $5000 in the future but they will have time to save for it. They are assuming that he just isn't trying hard enough but if it was really possible wouldn't the wife be making it happen?
For the first story, it’s sucks to imagine those kids growing up and realizing that the elf couldn’t have actually done those things, so someone else did it, and given the pieces, I’m sure they would quickly realize who it was. I think that the letter OP wrote was amazing. I’m sure her son is a lot happier now and much more at peace hearing from Bob himself and knowing that Santa still cares.
I like this couple on the show. They seem really level-headed and reasonable.
For the gold digger story, I couldn’t help but think OP was TA. I think it’s werid that the gf counted up the prices of the gifts, but I agree with your brother that she’s probably unfamiliar around that sort of luxury. OP calling the gf classless and whatnot seemed a bit classicist too but idk. They both could have done better !
I agree! I don’t come from money so I’d be the same and I hate how money is such a taboo subject
idk as someone who doesn’t come from money and grew up below the poverty line, i would not consistently bring up how much something is or ask how much something costs. i would literally 😦 in my mind and text my friends 😭
I would say everybody sucks in this situation, because OP invited the GF to their house at christmas to stay over and GF keeps talking about wanting to know how much things cost and at dinner she announced how much the total of all the gifts were, which is very rude and disrespectful, but if the brother had discussed this with the GF then this could have been avoided. The OP is in the wrong as there was a better way to handle the situation to put the GF right by just saying that's quite rude to announce that at dinner, please don't bring it up again, I would rather we talked about something else. so in my opinion, everyone sucks and they should all apologise to each other for the hurt feelings.
The GF is ignoring all social etiquette. You don’t ask about money or prices of gifts. It doesn’t matter if the people you are with are rich or poor. The only time I ever commented on gifts was to my brother that he had no obligation to buy for xmas or my birthday, as I know he has financial issues and wanted to make that clear. The money issues were left unsaid. He had got his gift early from me already so didnt want pressure
@@emmaglover6480 i agree. I also grew up poor, and even as a kid i knew better than to mention peoples luxuries/money and i ESPECIALLY knew better than to count their pockets and comment on what i think about what they can or can’t afford 💀💀
oh my god and here I am, googling what Elf on the shelf means, thinking it's some kinky intimate thing americans do around christmas 🤣 i'm going to hell
🤣 I'm dying. The imagination just runs wild.
Thank you for the laugh.
I also just learned of this a few weeks ago. Never heard of it before and here in Germany we don't have this custom.
I'm still not sold of this concept,but if people agree to harmless little pranks, I think it's ok. But not these extremes, that I heard of on here or tiktok!
It's not hard to come to that conclusion if you don't know what it is & it's a good guess regardless lol
@@Lovinstories Hi neighbour i'm from Czech Republic 😅
Me: Thinking about eating ice
Amy: And if you're craving ice, make sure to get your haemoglobin checked
Feeling very called out right now
You should even I used to crave ice and I had very low hb levels so maybe get it checked out ☺️
Story 4 - As an expecting mom (Due in 5 weeks), if my spouse ever did/said what this father did... they would never see my baby again. If they wanted to get help and treat the obvious mental health issue at play here, that is great... but I could never trust them alone with the child ever again. I am the child of an emotionally/mentally/verbally abusive mother and though I have healed from that, it took 10 years of no contact to get to that place. I know its not so cut and dry because he is the biological father of this baby. But I would be out of that house so fast it would make his head spin.
Omg, I love your Brother and SIL! How did you two end up so cool? Btw, I really like your Dad. I think he had a large part in how awesome you two turned out. He didn’t ‘have to’ be there but not only was he there for you, he was there for your Brother too. You guys rock!!! ❤
and Jerry is still there he's just an amazing dad and person
@@nataliaalves4060 - Right?! I wish the World had more people like him.
@@PamelaH_HappyVibes the world would be a better place if everyone had a dad like him 🤍
I feel like if the elf story was a movie the elf would be some sort of evil item that influenced the dad to do all that to the kids, and it escalates until the family has to come together to defeat it
I would watch them
*that
My daughter is born on Christmas, we go all out on her birthday. We set up a special table just for her. Decorated with birthday balloons and a banner over it. We did a birthday cake, she got to pick dinner, she got more birthday gifts then Christmas presents. We wake her up with happy birthdays and kisses then later in the day say marry Christmas. She loved it! We did a unicorn theme birthday (her favorite). 🥰❤️💕🎄🎁🎈🎆 I’m huge on birthdays, we go all out on my sons birthday too. They love it. I love it! 🎉
I agree that the dad needs to try & make Disney happen, but I also think the wife should’ve talked to him about it before. Maybe they could’ve adjusted money they spent for Christmas & make it more financially feasible for them if he had a heads up.
The problem, to me, with the wealth question, and you touched on it, is that given context someone can know that you really genuinely want to know for your own interest, but just asking without any context feels like you’re just asking for the purpose of judging them regardless of what they answer. The fact that she repeatedly judged them for their spending adds to that.
YEEEES!! I love Amy and her insight!! (Matt too but Amy Speaks to me, you know?) What a great pick me up after a whole exhausting day of therapy!
The Disney story. I'm 33 and I still light up going to Disney even though my family went at least once a year for years when I was younger. Now i get to watch my daughter light up the times we have gone. Core memories for me and her. Was there for the 25 anniversary and the birthday cake castle and went last month and saw the 50th castle and saw it with my daughter. I cried seeing it with her. There will always be magic at Disney as long as you believe in it.
I really hope the family does end up going to Disney with the grandparents. My mom took me and my sisters with my grandma and grandpa (her in laws) since my dad couldn't go because of work. We had a great time and still talk about that trip all the time!
Random observation. Your brother seems like he’s a good dad. Like he’s very considerate of his Children’s feelings. Very respectable. I’m sure they’re both great parents
Story 5. . There are therapists yhat deal with chronic illness issues. I missed if there were other siblings... and it makes me wonder if some part of this girl is just trying to have that time with her mother. As a mom with kids with chronic health issues, I would be 100% be making sure that the foods available would be the least likely to make my kid sick. That said- the 16 yo knows what's going to happen.. she needs to be taught a lesson essentially
My birthday is 12/26 and I felt I got screwed when I was young. I expressed it to my hubby and he and the kids always made sure it was distinctly different. They spoiled me.
That last story ... I can totally understand the mom's frustration, but as a medically complicated person with a ton of different allergies, sensitivities, and intolerances I can 100% see the daughter's point of view. I mean I'm 22 and sometimes I still eat/drink my trigger foods, or do something I know I technically shouldn't do because of my health issues, especially in social situations. I've been "complicated" since I was a kid and it can get *extremely* frustrating not being "normal". I feel like even though she's annoyed the mom should've stayed at least most of if not the whole time because she's only 16! 16 year olds are naturally immature and resistant to reality. I also think the outside context of how her mother approaches the situation would be important to know
Same here, I have ibs and I’m lactose and intolerant but it sucks to cut out all the foods that I love.
i don't have dietary issues so i don't have the same viewpoint, but my best friend (17) has serious issues with gluten and my mother is extremely lactose intolerant. they don't go out of their way to eat food they can't have, even tho it's upsetting. and the family in the story _made_ accommodations. there was food there she liked. :(
I'm lactose intolerant and I understand not eating the foods that you use to have. As a kid, I would eat dairy without care till I got tired of feeling crappy afterward. By 16 I didn't actively choose to eat the foods I know aren't good for me. When we have family gatherings my mom makes sure there is food that I can eat and if not we bring something from home to share that I can eat.
I understand what you're saying but this is on another level. She is in the hospital repeatedly for days at a time. The mom didn't abandon her. She was only absent on Christmas day and was on the phone with her. She can follow this up with counselling to understand why she is making these choices but she needs to know that there are consequences for her behaviour.
holy crap the one with a baby is SCARY!!! this could be a true crime story soon... heeeeellll NO ! just run !
Regarding the vomiting story.
I’m 23 and have stomach failure, IBS, IBD (Crohn’s disease), and low stage intestinal failure. I am not meant to eat at all as my stomach has failed and can’t function. I am tube fed into my intestines with a liquid feed. Obviously I want to eat but it’s been a learning curve as if I can’t drain my stomach like if I eat something that’s not liquid or soft it can make me extremely poorly and I’d need hospital and to go on to TPN. I now don’t eat “food” I’ve accepted I can just have some small amounts of liquid food that I can drain out so I can still enjoy the taste without it affecting my stoma and surgical feeding tubes. Ice cream, soup, smoothies, etc. the ER is never worth the food…
Thank you for sharing! Such a valuable perspective you’ve added. ❤
I'm so sorry you have to go through that
The dad cursing out the baby story is probably the most chilling story I’ve ever heard from this podcast. Something about it is really, really unsettling.
When Matt said he would record at night to see if he says anything about her when she sleeps sent shivers down my spine! New fear unlocked.
The first story hit home. I was born on the 23rd. You already feel forgotten, hell i never had birthday parties because of the holiday. Poor kiddo will remember that forever
The Disney story is so wild to me. As a parent myself, you get SOOO many firsts with your children. There are “firsts” that grandpa won’t even be alive for after he passes.
The father is being so selfish for trying to take a “last” from his Father in law and just ONE of many “firsts” for his girls. They will always remember this trip. Very much the AH.
Suchhhh a good point!
Also the dad broke my heart. As a mom of a blended family who also has a bonus kid with their birthday the day after Christmas it’s such a tough limbo anyway to make sure he gets his day. eff that guy
I wonder if the girl throwing up in the ER doesn't get a lot of one on one time with her mom and she does this on part because she knows it gets her attention. She definitely needs therapy. Her and her mom need to do fun things together that still build her up and give her attention without the need to hurt herself so badly. If this has happened for years she needs to understand there are other ways for her to be special and appreciated than to make herself sick
But when she was younger and kept those foods she was fine it seems so idk some people just are selfish and dont think of consequences
Just want to say I LOVE brother and SIL - they bring hot takes and I feel like a good balance to each other. Love seeing more of them! 🖤🥂
Wooooot! Just in time for my morning shower, haha. I listen to y’all when I get ready for work M-F. Thank you for these podcasts. 🙏♥️
I may have binged two hot takes over my college break... I'm happy to be fully caught up
As someone who has spent a lot of time in the hospital I always hated the term frequent flyer - i don’t need a reminder that I come here often 😅 i can also confirm it’s hurtful when people don’t visit you in the hospital
Also they do have loss therapy for people with Chronic illnesses - she’s dealing with the loss of doing normal teenage things like eating fun holiday food which her peers are probably talking about
Processed crap like chips and candy are holiday foods? More like everyday foods... there were HOMECOOKED meals she could have eaten... including treats she could have enjoyed...she is 16 and selfish.
i’m 17 and my brothers 19 and my mom STILL does santa. she knows we know he’s not real and the gifts are from her, but she still likes to do it and i love her for it
damn the second story hit me hard. i’ve always lived below the poverty line and spending crazy amount on arbitrary things has always shocked me, so if I were in that situation I probably would’ve reacted the same without even realizing it wasn’t socially acceptable. Thankfully i mostly keep to myself, because my ex girlfriends family was very well off and during the holidays I was just like holy shit the whole time haha
the most replayed on this video is when Havoc came on camera and I just love that there was so many of us who came to youtube just for the doggo
As someone whose gone through abuse by a parent and grown up poor the elf and gold digger stories hit a bit close to home. The GF could legit be overwhelmed by how luxury things are and have no malice behind it. I see where the sister is coming from but at the same time if it was really bugging her instead of talking to the brother she should’ve pulled the gf aside and said hey this isn’t something we talk about.
For the elf story, you can have a “naughty” elf without being abusive. The father complaining they didn’t do anything wrong, like what? These are the kids that end up being the bully bc their parents are the bully
my entire extended family on my moms side - 14 people total, mostly kids - all went to Disney world in Florida after my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was 13 and it’s an experience with my aunt I’ll never forget ❤
The last story with the girl who has serious food issues: nah. If she makes herself sick on purpose because she doesnt want to be responsible, fine then. Im not gonna worry about you anymore because you stress me out and you will not learn. So suffer alone. Youre wasting my money, time, emotions
The dad whispering things to his baby scared me so much when OP said "its not him at all" like stoppp I'm watching this at 1:30 AM
Badly needed an episode to listen to while doing lab work today. Thanks for this!
All Christmas while listening to podcasts I had to wait until I was alone to listen or be constantly on edge waiting to pause the video if I’m around my children. the warning before elf on the shelf was such a relief! Thank you so much for that.
The golddigger story. I agree with your brother she's probably overwhelmed BUT being from a third world country I've seen real poverty and really low income people and they know how to behave, they're often the most polite and respectful when it comes to boundaries and uncomfortable conversations even in front of real money.
Exactly. Usually income is a touchy subject from both sides, the rich and poor. So to say maybe she’s never seen so much money spent on objects, it’s okay to think but not say. Plus you’d think she’d know because she’s dating the brother so I’m sure she’s aware to some extent.
Exactly. I don't like how everyone is excusing her rudeness with "Maybe she's just poor!" Um, poor people have manners - they usually have MORE manners about wealth because they don't like to draw attention to it or discuss it.
For the one Disney story, I see it as the kids being on the young side and when they can take them, those memories of the park will be more vivid but the memory with their grandpa at certain spots will make it that much more special for them. Like having him there everytime
When I met my now husband it became very clear to me that his family had some money. Parents and both older brothers all lived in million dollar homes and his parents have a beach house that’s also worth a million mostly due to where it’s located but still. I however grew up much lower class. We weren’t crazy poor but we were poor. I grew up buying my own groceries and clothes from the age 16 and going to food pantries with my mom. We lived paycheck to paycheck. I not once would EVER do something like this girl. Privately? Maybe. I definitely talked to my friends about it and how uncomfortable it was at times and adjusting to their lifestyle but I would never ever say anything out loud. Or even think to look up all of the gifts and figure out the total. That’s so inappropriate. This girls was clearly not taught this type of common sense.
I had no idea post partum depression was a thing for men, but I'm so glad you talked about it in this episode 💕
I've never understood why people with Christmas babies don't have "half birthday" parties. It would be in the June-ish time frame and they could have a party any day of the week on school break
My birthday is on December 21st, maybe it’s because it’s far enough away from Christmas, but I always got two gifts, even for my parties. Now that I’m an adult, people get busy with other parties and family stuff or go away for holiday. I usually celebrate the weekend before or even earlier in the month. Then have a chill day with one or two people (or just pamper myself ) on my actual bday.
@@adriandaniels1 I'm glad that you and your family found a way to still make you feel special as well!
My birthday is Dec 29th... I would have hated a half birthday it's too far from my actual birthday to be special and almost minimizes the importance of my actual birthday... I would never do that to my children. My brother's birthday is on Christmas and making it extra special for him was definitely the way to go...
@betholomaus3196 yes exactly... since my brother's birthday was on Christmas that's exactly what we did. Mornings were for Christmas presents and afternoon was cake time and birthday celebration for him and we always went out to eat to celebrate his birthday
@Betholomaus :3 my friend has a Christmas baby and split the day like that. If I had a Christmas birthday, I'd want a half birthday party because as a kid, it would make me sad to not have my friends available for a party.
My parents never taught me to believe in Santa and I don’t regret it. Made for some awkward convos with other kids but Christmas was still just as magical 💫
Baby monitor - wife needs to get things sorted quick, my son was a wonderful newborn just like OPs but by the time he got the terrible twos he was a nightmare. If OPs daughter is anything like him the husband will be going onto another level and I don't feel like OP or their daughter would be safe.
As a Dec 24th baby birthdays and Christmas are very much combined and sometimes it sucks that I can’t celebrate with friends or feel special by getting to bring treats to class. Especially because my family is religious so we have church on my birthday.
As someone who grew up with a HUGE Christmas for us being $200 spent in total on everyone I may have reacted the same way. To someone who has very little 3000 may as well be 1 million. Social etiquette is not known if it isn't taught. The sister missed a huge opportunity to bond with this girl but instead belittled her and assumed her motives were nefarious when they could have been quite innocent or ignorant
Yep! I imagine that people who grew up with food insecurity or living paycheck to paycheck easily could feel uncomfortable or even frustrated watching huge sums of money get spent of frivolous things 😅
So I would never in my wildest dreams call Lindsey the AH. Especially because the alternative probably is that she’s on the spectrum - or both things could be true!
@@caffe1n8ed Yes! Exactly! I had a single mother and father who was an addict. My mom got all off her clothes from friends or family members second hand never new. As a mother now, even though we can afford for me to, I have an immense amount of guilt buying new clothing or spending a large amount of money on ANYTHING. The kids stuff is the only exception. I have said some things in the past that could have been interpreted in a similar way because I couldn't fathom someone spending so much money on a new car or purse. It was culture shock for sure when someone spends more than your grocery budget is for a month on a purse.
It's one thing to be shocked by how someone else spends money. It is completely different to make those comments. I wouldn't have called her a gold-digger because that implies an intention. But she does seem to be obsessed with money. It wasn't 1 or 2 questions. It sounded like an audit. And it was judgemental too. This isn't money etiquette it is basic manners. When someone's family does things differently than yours you don't harp on it while you are in their house. She made the comments in front of everyone so it is fair to respond in front of everyone.
Sorry I would feel uncomfortable if someone came into me home and started Googling my things and asking where the cost and my family salary was, as a brown adult those are things you learn, from work, social settings and educational settings etc
I absolutely believe this was done out of ignorance. In my family, it's nothing to discuss your salary or relay the cost of items. No one is independently wealthy. All of us are constantly discussing better jobs, better pay and benefits. If anyone knows of a better company or better positions available at their work, we all openly discuss wages. Hey, you make$15/hr. you can make $17.5/hr if you apply here. If you get that job, everyone knows what you make because that was the starting wage. My children and I are the highest wage earners in my family. We all work very hard, I've had 2 jobs most of my adult life. Our understanding of money, finances and cost of living is different than our family. I've been told we are talked about for being stuck up and thinking we are better than others. My kids and I put our employment front and center. We know that without these funds, we won't live the same. This girl was clearly dazzled by her boyfriend's family and their lifestyle. She asked questions that were likely common in her family, but inappropriate in mixed company.
For the Christmas kid, my brother was born on the 25th and we always had this time is christmas and then later in the day was my brothers time. And then in June we did a half birthday for him so he still had a special day and time
The worst thing our elf did this year was get into my makeup & draw on my daughter (5yo & 3yo) faces. But our elf made sure it was on a Friday so no school & it was easily washed off 🤣 it was so funny seeing my kids wake up. But having an elf isn’t about being mean, it suppose to be funny and fun for the KIDS.
The Disney trip, that core memory for his wife would be amazing not just their kids