Influencers RUINED "soft life" and now it's just another grift. | Ti Talks
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ค. 2024
- Get an exclusive Surfshark deal! Enter promo code TI for an extra 3 months free at surfshark.deals/TI Thank you to Surfshark for sponsoring today's video.
Here go my Patreon - bit.ly/nhjpatreon
Here go my Rumble - bit.ly/nhjrumble
Here go my Locals - bit.ly/communiTi
Here go my IG - bit.ly/nhjonig
Here go my bookstagram IG - bit.ly/3a0WBML
00:00 Intro
01:21 Surfshark ad
02:35 Definition of "soft life"
05:25 How influencers corrupted "soft life"
08:56 How they keep the "soft life" grift going
11:11 Final thoughts
-------------------------
References used while I drag the #selfcare #softlife #femininity frauds:
“Black women started living the soft life. Then came quiet quitting.” by Jennimai Nguyen for Mashable - mashable.com/article/soft-lif...
“'Soft Girl': The radical trend millennials love” by Evie Muir for BBC’s The Collection - www.bbc.com/culture/article/2...
Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included) by Pooja Lakshmin
at Bookshop - bookshop.org/a/21601/97805934...
at Target - rstyle.me/+WPqerXUneW9puROBtT...
at Alibris - go.magik.ly/ml/1xiv1/
and at that place (which I boycott, but most of y’all still shop there so it’s above me now) - amzn.to/3FyIOvP
-------------------------
Top - rstyle.me/+TyEAjtvgJB_7oskznb...
or if you’re in the UK - rstyle.me/+gu1xgGjWEdbtWOwbhs...
Nose ring - shopstyle.it/l/bdw24
Smoke quartz ring is from Wicked Heathens (sold out)
Fingertip and midi rings are by Aziza Handcrafted (Black woman-owned biz) - bit.ly/3FQxw79
Other ring is from a brand I can’t recommend. Bad customer service.
-------------------------
Makeup tings:
Rituel de Fille Color Nectar Pigment Balm
Ulta - rstyle.me/+YNVvaEZizlaWfssVfy...
Free People - rstyle.me/+js9VhNzjbxxjXVMGeF...
Saks - rstyle.me/+pgnsO7LndXLCc4fnTd...
e.l.f. Halo Glow Liquid Filter
direct from e.l.f. - rstyle.me/+q9Ejkq_0H2Wtm_ZJEe...
Target - rstyle.me/+DGnKqjsgtXzD0KXvor...
Ulta - rstyle.me/+p05fbKiiLqOiXr9yQ_...
Beauty Bay - rstyle.me/+zztP8wWeRAehfcRQsg...
Surratt Surreal Skin - rstyle.me/+An-T21-w8oA6SmgLgz...
Eye is Surratt Smokey Eye Baton - rstyle.me/+L3pQCUIUZhxVSNtj3p...
Lashes are by Kiss - rstyle.me/+xA9r88nReFq-xGKC9L...
Lip is Fenty Beauty Stunna Lip Paint Longwear Fluid Lip Color, “Unveil”
from Fenty - rstyle.me/+oHwaMqMtnlZPYWWOge...
Sephora - rstyle.me/+x1L0cImUjzQQrwA5MB...
Ulta - rstyle.me/+GW6v9G7UwPTAP2BZRJ...
with Tarte Maracuja Juicy Lip Plump, Tulip
Sephora - rstyle.me/+5s62r4c1M25RYH2PTI...
Ulta - rstyle.me/+5N-V1JpkuvAg3fgw4z...
-------------------------
Camera - go.magik.ly/ml/13c7d/
Editing software is Adobe Premiere.
-------------------------
**Please note that some links above are affiliate/referral links. If you purchase through them, it will not cost you anything more, but I may earn up to many cents commission.** - แนวปฏิบัติและการใช้ชีวิต
![อยู่ได้แล้ว - LIPTA feat. Mirrr [OFFICIAL MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/-9-hpntNym4/mqdefault.jpg)
The promoted "soft life" trend always seemed unrealistic to me. Beautiful pictures and vlogs, but the rest of us work 9-5 jobs. We can only have soft *moments* within our busy lives.
And she boldened that *moment*
Better not be five minutes too long.
You said it. I don't get this asthetic at all because it's pretty unrelateable for most of us. I guess it's just being wealthy being rebranded as another lifestyle choice.
Seriously. I'm able to do soft moment for about a week or two on a nice vacation once a year then it's back to 9-5 life for me. It's not sustainable.
This is honestly why I stopped following Jackie Aina because she's no longer relatable to me.
If you're living a true soft life, you're not even on social media too much.
You're working out,
a spa day at home, going to the museums on a rainy day, traveling, eating well and meeting friends for tea.
Just bc people say they're something or someone doesn't make it so.
Use your discernment.
Thank you
I do all those things and post on social media.
Honestly some of these comments sound pressed to see black women not struggling @@DebraJohnson
Not true? Now I'm not going to film my house, my bath ritual, my purchases, but I will post my trip to the natural science museum, I will show off a nice meal. So....
I've been living soft life before it even had a name and I love social media.
@@Hyear2030 Have you noticed the things that mean the most to you, you wanna keep it private and quiet. It's just that good. 😋
Happy Holidays ❤ 🙂
For me, soft life is not rushing through life. Take a few moments to read a book, drink water, go for that walk. No purse, sneakers, or furniture will lead to a soft life.
Influencer have hijacked this as well… calling it “slow life” 🤦🏽♀️
@@faynuus2967😂
@@faynuus2967HUH
I'm just happy to not be struggling. I don't care about brands/etc. I can go to the store and buy what I want without worrying about how much is in my bank account(like I did at one time). I feel blessed
This is a great example of soft life
To me, that’s the REAL soft life
amen
Now THAT’s my soft life.
THIS is soft life, in truth
Most of us cannot afford to live a #SoftLife because America doesn’t believe in siestas or breaks. We work ourselves to the bone and then have to go back home and take care of our bare necessities (many of us are single or in dual working partnerships). We work constantly. Rest is not about expenses, it’s about time. Time to decompress, time to value yourself by yourself.
while financial comfort does and may contribute to a “softer” life, hustling does not. Things do not. Things are an excess luxury. Not a necessity to living with low stress.
What is a dual working partnership?
Someone who gets it…rare
@@zarario4444both people in the relationship work.
Probably more than one job for at least one of them
@@zarario4444where both partners/ spouses work
@@zarario4444 2 folks in a relationship with both working
I actually live the soft life, retiring at 46 after working 70 hour weeks at Tesla. Soft life was my respite. When I first heard about soft life it resonated with me deeply, but seeing what influencers has turned it into is disappointing.
Now this is much closer to the soft life definition I had in mind. A life where the essentials (finances, living arrangements, not in a rat race type of setup) are not rough, but in an easier state, where possible, sort of lol. And I hear totally you on the influencer point.
After working 70 hour work weeks, you deserve the soft life.
OMG, I too consider my life soft and it started during the shut down. I’m no longer part of the rat race, I garden, paint, eliminated stress and people, paid off my debt, invested, paid down my house and I’m retiring in a few years at 55!
These influencers RUINED Soft Life!
Didn't know it was either but I'm proud of you Hun I did similar but working for the government from 17 when I graduated and retired at 27 so I literally do nothing but spoil my nieces and nephews and parents
@@thatbemefoolbeautiful really congratulations. I am towards that direction. But I am not sure if I will retire soon from my 9/5 jobs. My salary is my base for buy rental properties. Any way really happy for you
My soft life comes about via living off grid in a beautiful, comfortable home and safe area where I can raise my kids, garden, have chickens, and live more sustainably overall. I shop at thrift stores because I absolutely love them. I'm also able to learn new skills constantly which makes me super happy and "soft".
I am well off. Just hit the million net worth but I buy my clothes just what at need at goodwill 🙈and I love this.
I love it!! Sounds like a dream
I hate how it's trickling into black women's lives. Black women who spend the most cash on "level ups" and beauty products. It just tells us that in order to have peace we have to pay. That's depressing.
Soft life= candles and shades of beige…
😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣💯
😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
And lots of wine in the soak tub. I'm more #slowlife cause softlife seems a cross of that girl and black women luxury. Honest if I had that kind of money that the soft life girls are supposed to I probably wouldn't be posting to begin with. I just be living my life
So well said! I couldn't agree more. If I had the money like they (often pretend to) have, Y'ALL. 👏🏾 WOULDN'T. 👏🏾 SEE. 👏🏾 ME. 👏🏾
I don’t have social media besides watching TH-cam, but I do live the soft life and was tired of how judgmental and hateful people were upon seeing my posts 😢 Envy is evil 😈
This part
A great book that touches on this and other topics in the influencer economy is Get Rich or Lie Trying by Symeon Brown. It's a great and engaging read; how late stage capitalism and precarious times are leading to some dark things and damaged people.
*adds to library app immediately*
@@nappyheadedjojobaIs it on Amazon Kindle?
I wonder if I can find this in South Africa
Looking on Amazon after writing this comment.
The title SOUNDS GOOD!
This reminds me of how the "zero waste" movement went from re-using things, spending less and just minimizing waste to:
"Hey buy this super expensive refillable spray that you will barely use!"
It always goes down to "do the best you can" imo
It's a soft LIE. A lot of these girls don't even live this life, you nailed it on the head, nappyheadedjojoba. I got sick of watching "soft-life" content because it was stressful to watch.
Soft LIE is *it.* 👏🏾
Even men are doing the “soft life” thing too🫠…
When I’m on international flights and or luxury places there are very few Black ppl, ESPECIALLY Americans. I’m usually the only Black American (occasionally I’ll see an African). SOMEBODY LYINNNNNNNNNN👀!!
😑
@@nappyheadedjojobaplease please do more videos on actionable self care 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Hard life was too stressful to live. I started to work less than 40 hours to alleviate stress.
My going to therapy for the past 8 months has made my life softer than any material possessions, simply because I am not so critical of myself.
Soft-life industrial complex is indeed a read! I have always taken one thing from soft-life definition... Say no when you can't or don't want to! No is a full sentence that doesn't require explanation. That alone has destressed my life so much.
"'No' is a complete sentence" has to be one of the best of the best modern cliches. I refer to it *daily.* 🖤
And here I thought #softlife was a dog whistle for escorting…👀
You honestly aren’t far off.
Two _seemingly_ opposite things often co-exist. 🙂
Yep that is what I thought myself
Everybody isn't broke.
Yeahhhhhhh😭
Yea, as a housewife/homemaker I have a soft life but no brand name bags or clothes. Not because I can’t, but because my goals are different. Aspects of my home are not “aesthetic,” but it’s mine 🥰 and that’s enough.
My idea of soft living is having the time and finances to enjoy leisure and self care. In my mind, in its purest form, it means your life is balanced in the important ways. Those luxury videos really annoyed me, because I don’t focus on name brands. What a waste of money. Years ago, I used to watch girls my age in the same job spending a whole paycheck on a purse. I just couldn’t relate.
I am a writer, researcher, and curator living in a small 1 bedroom apartment in DC. It took me my entire 20s to get here in my career, but I make ~$70k before taxes. My place is $1800/mo and has utilities included in the rent, so when I pay that, I know I don’t have to worry about the lights, water, gas. I live within five minutes walk to all necessities, a weekly farmer’s market, and the subway, and ten minutes walk to three parks. I spend my days writing, reading, researching at an archive center, cooking, and cleaning. I have two or three meetings a week, and get to visit my family on the weekends because they live nearby. I have a chronic illness, but DC’s marketplace gives me the best insurance for $300/mo, and I have the money to get a really helpful massage once a month. I use a French press for my coffee and wash my laundry in a room in the building. When you see me out, I’m probably wearing a wool sweater and coat that are at least ten years old, carrying a black Anne Klein bag that goes with all my outfits, one of my three pairs of winter shoes, and wearing a hairstyle I did at home.
I’ve never felt more comfortable in my life.
Yes to more on this topic please‼️ I will gleefully watch a long video.
I just saw a TT on how the luxury folks with the cookie cutter homes are really often filming in AirBnBs or rented spaces. It unlocked a part of my brain that always seemed like we are being grifted and lulled into unachievable aesthetics.
❤❤❤
Zaaaaamn, not a Air BnB! It really is all smoke and mirrors. 😭
I had no clue what soft life was, but I figured a couple minutes in that the original soft lifers were the Haitians. Nigerian origins of soft life makes sense. Du Bois defined culture as an alternative to the materialistic, so I read this as "Influencers ruined culture and now it's just another grift". Sounds about right. Totalitarian America is designed for the extreme concentration of wealth, where the shiny tokens symbolize a figurative Man-ness and Woman-ness. It's a high class concentration camp.
Whew -- the layers and truth here, in just a few sentences.
hold up, now....this just shook me. From time to time I find myself wondering if I am even a woman for real, because Im poor & dont meet the standard of beauty (even though I have 3 children 🙃). Im going to write your comment down & reflect on regularly till Im "fixed".
@@dnycebushton5008 As a Nigerian woman, soft life to us means living a life that is as stress free as possible and minimising stress. When it got exported and the interpretation underwent capitalisation that everything often does, then they emphasised the materialistic nature which bastardised what it actually meant
How about putting $8 in the gas tank to get to get to your granny because she has a $20 bill for you?? Been there ✋🏾🙋🏾♀️😂
😂😂😂 girl omg 😅 that's pure ROI as far as I'm concerned
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 that was funny
1. The irony of instant access to information via internet and the dwindling literacy rate. The constant need to validate the self externally. Aka the goal of marketing.
2. There is no softness when we can’t go to the supermarket or bowling alley without a vest
3. The lewk is lewking.
Annoyingly the internet most kids know these days is tik tok and hyper addictive but pretty lol quality videos. You can still learn a lot but it's much harder to break out of the filter bubbles than it used to be. Tik tok and other social media are designed to keep you in their walled garden of content instead of exploring different kinds of information.
Whew -- you are so right! And, thank you much. 🙏🏾
#2 👏🏾
The dwindling literacy rates worry me
My original goals for having a soft life were, a nice apartment, being able to put all my bills on autopay comfortably and working 4 days a week. This video made me realize how many things I've added to my overall goals because the first 3 seemed so unachievable. Everytime I blink a price goes up( even transportation, insurance, tolls, public, it's all up). A nice candle and a new rug felt nice but bittersweet. We are living in truly sad times
I know that most buzzwords have a different meaning for every individual, and that’s perfectly fine!
But I’m really tired of the soft life being ONLY showcased as having a wealthy partner, cute expensive clothes with manicured nails and taking trips to expensive places. That is perfectly fine to want that has your soft life vision, but damn does no one have any individuality? We all can’t want this, and some people sure as hell will never get it.
Exactly!
Soft Life is actually also being touted as the exclusive benefits of women married to wealthy men. It’s almost like capitalism and its bedfellow known as the patriarchy got together and said “how can we co-opt this?”. The amount of content I’ve stumbled upon where women are sharing “knowledge” about how to be more feminine so that you can land a wealthy partner and thus achieve a soft life, is astounding.
A soft life to me is one full of peace and stress and damn near nonexistent.
@@nancyismynameAmen. What also bothers me is that the financial disadvantages of women depending on wealthy men is never discussed. What I mean is that they never talk about what happens or could happen when these types of partnerships go awry. Where does that leave the women? How does she rebuild her life? Also, what is never mentioned are the expectations that wealthy men generally have of their partners.
@@sherwood9917 The reason why the disadvantages are never discussed is because they’re trying to sell you a fairytale. We’re not supposed to question whether the “ever after” really is happily or otherwise. People like Porsha Williams are the poster child for this kind of selling femininity as the key to successful hypergamy and thus what leads to an exclusive soft life. People like that don’t ask about the disadvantages because thinking ahead is not practical to them; they think it sows seeds of doubt in the relationship. When it’s all over, these people will be stuck without a paddle.
This is a whole word ..so so true. 🤣 Some of the "soft life" or "beauty influencers" ..I've followed, esp the really successful ones baffled me.. with their super pretty, immaculately design homes with luxury everything/ everywhere would let the mask slip and reveal how frazzled, insecure, exhausted, confused, stressed out they really are. How overworked & unhappy and lonely they are. I remember leaving one brief sentence that questioned a particular "influencer's" opinion on parenting and she got so bothered she left me a snippy paragraph in response. She was not so sweet & friendly as her on camera persona led you to believe. Yeah ...they copy each other too. All their homes and "luxury" apartments look exactly the same. So boring.. Nothing "soft" about it.
And I oop -- you told no lies!
Don’t forget; they all sound the same. I call it the influencer voice.
Definitely copy paste why does everything need to be white lol
@@jbell7105it’s either white or beige or off-white lol or some semblance of monochromatic. Very much so lacking individuality. And very sterile looking! Lol.
The neutral aesthetic 🙄 I wonder how many actually own their homes.
Whew speak on it. If these people don't let go of this luxury thing. Like do e trying to sell luxury as happiness, when it has nothing to do with happiness, especially when your luxury is a whole bunch of if racist brands that doesn't give true power and opportunities to marginalized groups like us, but capitalize off of many that needs to fit into this white privilege luxury life aesthetic, and to be validated under that.
SAY IT LOUDER. 👏🏾
You ate with this comment lol
Agreed. Attaching the word luxury to everything you do and have is one sure fire way to say yours fraud without saying you’re a fraud.
This comment deserves an "Amen".
Preach
Oh yes, please!!! Please do a Part II.
What she said!
The fact that "soft life" is a trend is enough for me to call bullsh*t. Soft life, it's true definition, is not a trend. It's literally life.
its a trend because the same entities/powers that be who made "boss bitch" a trend eventually grew up and wanted to slow down.....and so did their audience.
@@kiim0they wanted to move to another con.
I’m only 2.5mins into the video, but I had to say that I appreciate your sponsorships actually being useful to me ❤️❤️
Thank you for this. I have to turn down the vast majority of offers that I get (thanks to those pesky things called ethics), so I really do only get to say "yes" to things that I think are actually useful. 🙏🏾🖤
I completely agree. When soft life first started building traction, one of my favorite things to do to practice it was get back to basics when it comes to things I used to enjoy as a child in my free time, including reading. I used to love documenting the books I had gotten for free within my community or the ones I checked out from my local library. Then soft life surely became just as consumer based as black women in luxury. The simplicity of it all was stripped away for something more sinister and it’s really really alarming 💯 stay safe and dangerous y’all 🙏🏽
As someone who really does live a "soft life", I've always laughed at the idea of luxury as a part of my life. I see my lifestyle as simplistic living (I have a job where I don't do any work, my bills are minimal and I own my home and cars). I live to be a sloth. I'm never looking for anything to buy because that only means more work and I don't live to work.
Loved this video. Much of what these influencers miss is that in order to “sell us the soft life” they must be at the mercy of an algorithm. That’s not the soft life or freedom at all. I wish more could articulate that yes, they are sharing their lifestyle but it is not soft, and that it comes with a cost. Would love a part 2! 🌻
Well said! And, thanks for your "vote." 😁
Definitely interested in your continued thoughts on this! Kim of “For Harriet” expressed the same sentiment. For most Black women in particular and their families, the soft life is highly unattainable and in this economy, people are struggling in general. It definitely gives “Girl Boss” vibes. And I want all the most beautiful experiences for Black women (travel, eating rich foods, yoga, etc.) but I realize with systemic barriers, it can be an illusion for many Black women day to day. Most Black women are working 9-5pms sometimes without the help of a partner
These limiting beliefs illustrate exactly WHY it's important for black women to show the that the soft life is attainable. But, as soon as someone starts to show/tell how to make it, they get shamed and that's why most people who make it don't share their lifestyles online.
@@DebraJohnson What do you define as soft life? Purchasing luxury products? Not working? Etc.
And then the sad thing, is the people that swear by the soft life, are sadly condescending to the people who are not living the soft life! 🤦🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️ Make it make sense!!
I have been living the soft life for 19 years now and didn’t know what it’s called. I just live my life. At 39 years old I don’t have a 9-5 but I don’t need to come online to floss. I can afford this life because I married up. I don’t promote soft life but I sure won’t promote struggle anything.
Of course we want to hear more. And I willingly admit I was fuzzy on the definition of soft life!
girl i love the hair...Im retired, financially secure, in good health and happy #soft life!!!!!!
I'd like to hear more. Therapy is helping me learn what real self care is because the internet has had me messed up for years
I can relate to this and social media was the main problem for me and that’s why I deleted instagram and it was the best decision ever
I am always speaking about this and people think I’m “hating.” The thing is, you don’t need luxury items. They are being scammed just to seem a certain way or be accepted in certain social circles. Most of it is to achieve the lifestyle that people with generational wealth live. But that cannot be done because you need money that goes back to generations of exploitation.Another thing, what’s the point if you are actually unhappy?
I think I live my version of a soft life. I live below my means. Got rid of social media. I go to matinee films(5$-8$). I have a few streaming apps. I talk to my mother regularly. 😅 I do yoga and body exercises. I continually eliminate things that stress me. I gift things I no longer need or use. I fast.😅 My sleeping isn't the best but I'm working on that. I have to be exhausted to sleep and I need background noise to stay asleep. Silence wakes me up. Strange, I know.
I'm sick of these so called influencers. They're all doing the same thing. I'd love to see more content from you. I miss it.
If you dont like it why watch it.
@taelove9830 who said I watch it. I used to before I knew better. Sit down somewhere kid because this ain't what you want.
This aint what I want??? lmfaoo bitch plz we are on the internet what are you gonna do fight me with wordsss???@@cheriemichelle7571
You just said who said I watch it then in the next sentence you said you watched it, Like are you fucking stupid, how did you just lie and admit to watching it dumb bitch@@cheriemichelle7571
@@cheriemichelle7571😂😂😂😂😂
Soft life seems more akin to the simple living and minimalism movements- not a lot of products to push there.
Your hair is gorgeous!
That's what I thought too. Not trying too hard, stepping out of the 'hamster wheel'
I never got into this soft life movement. It gives me the same ick as concepts like corporate meditation workshops and any mention of words like 'portfolios' and 'crypto currencies'. Um... yeah, nah.
100% agree, especially on the crypto thing. Y'all tryna make us buy into a whole *new* money, when the old version is already destroying us all? FOH
"By making the 'soft life' something you buy, it makes it permenantly aspirational" is such a perfect way to frame not just this grift, but quite a few others. It's kind of the perfect litmus test, in fact, for a lot of late-stage capitalist BS.
I thought it was apart of the Cottage Couture and Southern Bell esthetic/ living 🤣 there are so many of these trends it's really hurting people's reality sadly 😥 😔😭😖
Well said.
I think they are similar but their genesis is different. From different communities
Part 2 is definitely needed…a whole series girl! 😂
Whenever the masses get their greedy claws on something, it ALWAYS becomes twisted and ruined 🙄
Also, ppl live their life constantly online. They don’t have any self identity/awareness. They have no clue who they are as a person.
How stressful and empty it must be to wait for a stranger, online, to tell you what you like, how to dress, what to buy, etc…😳 those trends change like every 2 weeks 🥴
Love your hair.
Long ago I realized that I was willing to sacrifice having things in order to have peace. Yes, I could be more comfortable with more money, but freedom over my day to day experience is priceless. As a disabled black woman, the odds of winning at capitalism are stacked against me.
I have 3 kids under 5. The soft life ain’t happening for me! But I also don’t chase lifestyle aesthetics. 😂
Current day social media will always griftify anything popular. Because those whos primary goal is to get as much money out of it as possible will always put more effort into optimally engaging the algorithms and will get their content seen by orders of magnitude more people than someone just sharing pics of things they enjoy or believe in. The only trends that don't get taken over by grifters are ones that don't appeal to people enough to make enough profit. it's pretty depressing really
soft life, self care, religion in general you have to take the general concept and figure out how you want to apply it to your real life
Soft life for me is:
Locking my hair
Pulling back from most commitments like charity
Focusing on beauty treatments and hobbies
Getting my finances together so I can stress less
Getting rid of people that never reciprocate
I'm glad you touched on this subject because I have been blessed to have a soft life. I don't follow mainstream anything so, to me, hearing "soft life" resonated with me because I don't have to work and my children are in school so I can pretty much do what I want during the day and even when my sons come home, I don't have to do too much because my older sons help me with chores of the house. Soft life just means not living a "hard" life. It has nothing to do with materialism.😌
This was such a good topic, would love to hear you talk more about it. I’ve definitely been realizing a lot lately that I don’t need to waste my money on unnecessary bs to improve my life. I workout in the park across from my house and on my room floor for free, and I’ve been trying to cook my own meals more and I’ve cut down on the products I use for skin care or my hair. The constant consumption of goods and services wasn’t making me happier or making my life more ✨soft✨
Y’all remember when @nappyheadedjojoba addressed the beauty community/lifestyle pipeline several videos back 😏…… the soft life grift is the second induration of that
Well well -- someone's been paying attention! 🤓🖤
@@nappyheadedjojoba you make the dots connect easily
What fascinates me the most about these soft life influencers, is they never have any imagery of themselves spending time with family; No sharing a meal with parents or grandparents, spending time with siblings, cousins, or even friends...just an individual in a space by themselves with some expensive products.
Yea we gon need that Part 2 on this topic & I'll be waiting patiently in the meantime 💗💗💗💗💗
Aroma spray on the pillow sound legit relaxing lol
Fa sho -- plenty of the "faux self-care" products are actually very nice, I just want to recognize things as what they are.
I really appreciate your discussion of influencer vs content creator. I think that's an important distinction.
Oh and I definitely want to hear more of your thoughts on this topic.
I agree with you! I consider myself more of a content creator than influencer to be honest😭💯
Yeah I guess I never thought about it but there is a damn difference
But when I said this aesthetic was a scam the girlies got mad lmao. I said what I said. Just be yourself 🌚🖤 also you are completely correct with your distinction between content creation and influencing its not the same but some people are both.
The Napfam council demands a part 2
😆🙌🏾
❤ wow sis this was deep. I often wondered how all this crap we see got started.. I have never heard of soft life b4 today. I don't watch those ppl doing things I cant or will never be able to afford. The natural hair scheme had already put a sour taste in my life by turning me into a product junkie when I knew products don't grow hair bcus I was born with and grew up with long thick strong hair but had no clue how to take care of it bcus most ppl either didn't have long thick hair or they had bad relaxer results and the products were few and far between. The so called professional hair ppl chose to not share with us and are now crying bcus they are reaping the benefits of what they created. Then what appeared to be a beautiful sisterhood, turned into a grift and unmasked deep seated self hatred and envy.
I truly love you❤ an how your channel has transformed. Keep poring out the tea sis.
How do I get into the book club?
Yes please to a part 2 video on “Soft Life” topic. It’s always good to see a new video alert pop up from you. Take care and stay blessed Sis.
People underestimate the power of editing and photoshop, soft life for me will be when I can grocery shop and get all the treats I want without worrying about the price
The feminity and self help influencers that are getting out of hand - I just stick to my one or two faves- I don’t particularly have an issue with the soft life thing it actually helped navigate how to not forever be in survival mode and actually take holistic care of myself
online self-care and wellness operations also lean to misinformation and dumb theories -- gateways to worse
Real soft life sistahs don't post or have popular socials at all. It's peaceful.
I see Ciara post all the time 😂
I've been working on my EXTERNAL soft life and that meant organizing and cleaning out my house and car, also repairing broken things that Ive avoided. Now I feel I stress less and have peace of mind. No new items purchased. Just clean and clear of junk. Soft Life!
I've finally Subscribed - doing my part.
Thank you for this video. It now has me thinking soft life is Zen life. I always told my friend, "I want to be Zen". Calm. No stress.
I would love to hear more on your perspective on this issue. I ran across a TT video of a young lady saying can we see video content of regular ppl in regular homes like no marble countertops and all white everything. She felt like she couldn’t be the only one online with a regular life and a regular home. I felt that cuz I’m a regular person with a regular home.
facts, face, fro & fit 👏🏾🫶🏾‼️
As a soft life professional I agree with this message… Soft life is not materialistic it’s an internalized reflection of self worth… but hey if your worth is based on materialism then yea get your bag…
Yes, please share more of your take on this topic! ❤
Don’t hold back. Go ahead and bless us with more of your take on the not so “soft” Soft life ☺️ Thank you in advance!
Your shoulders just motivated me to get back to my workout routine 😂 you look good! 🤩
Wow this was such a great video . I must admit myself that I am guilty of the soft life bs. Soft life isn’t about material things it’s definitely about inner peace by all means . This post really came on time for me I needed to hear this
I would love to hear your thoughts about finding moments for our own peace within this hectic, consumeristic, and crazy rock we are all spinning through space on. Thanks for the thoughtful content 😊✌️🤘
Like always social media ruins everything. “Soft life” is the new “divine femininity”. Both of which are centered around finding a rich man to afford a lavish lifestyle. My interpretation of the two, back in high school before it even became a thing, started with me throwing out all of my meaningless shit and going to therapy to heal and understand myself. Not Target sprees.
I am so glad you brought the subject up. Never heard of soft life though. Have seen influencers with same hair, clothes, etc. There was one influencer who wanted to give a tour of their 1.3 million dollar home and was making $20,000 a month. I clutched my pearls.
I'm all here for the series!
I would love a part 2!! This always interests me!
I appreciate you and your commentary. A part 2 would be great ❤
I like when you add additional explanations. SM wise I really only use TH-cam and the extra definitions help.
There’s a saying about consumption as relaxation being the highest form of capitalism. Influencer culture embodies and amplifies this. It’s what makes social media so loathsome. The soft life sentiment is about peace and ease, but the “soft life” label is a marketing ploy. It’s a content aesthetic that’s got people thinking they can’t afford to prioritize their well-being. That makes me mad. Collectively, it’s time to step back and examine the ways capitalism is suffocating us.
So glad I came across this video. It's validating AF cause some of these influencers break my ❤️ with the stuff they promote to you to buy. Who has that kind of money. Not I.
Girl this needs to be a 4 hours video if not, more. I was left hanging dry hahaha, thank you for the video. One might be aware but that concept is so pushed that you might caught yourself in the middle of it out of nowhere. Tank you so much for this needed conversation.
One observation that I’ve noticed is how black women associate certain lifestyles with material things. For example in the femininity movement if you searched #blackfemininty you’d see an entire feed of luxury post featuring black wo men but when looking at just the femininity tag where other races dominated you would see women cooking, being homemakers or photos that expressed their joy in womanhood. The femininity movement turned into the same as the soft life movement: materialistic and self gain (at the expense of others for the most part). Those that started the movement had to walk away because it was hijacked by women whom had no idea what the movement was really about at the core. I don’t understand why black people are so obsessed with status or material things…
Black Diaspora as a whole in America is about 13% of the population. That’s very small. Out of the 13% I’ve always wondered what % is upper class (white collar professionals) middle class ( blue collar professionals) working class low skill jobs, then poverty people live over government programs. When we look at this structural social classes what % of people that can actually live a life of luxury and or softy life????
So glad you brought it up. And no we did not ask- but so glad you answered. Brilliant video. You offered more on this, and WE WANT IT! Thank you.
I would love to see another or longer video about this topic🙌🏾 Great video 🙌🏾
Yes queen, please, please please we need more on this topic!!! Thank you for referring back to the book. I’m gonna grab that one!
I never understood that soft life/ soft girl era situation . Seemed just like another trend to jump on and talk about. Thanks for you input. ❤
YES please more about your stance on self care!! 🙏🏽
That D. Imus Closer gets me everytime. He may be gone but the internet lasts forever. What a way to be remembered. It’s crazy how shock jocks have morphed into podcast dudes. smh.
I’d love to hear you speak more on this topic! Great perspectives, as usual 💛✨
I love that women are showcasing their soft life, it inspired me to level up, which in turn caused me to date up. It's amazing to have a man who wants to provide (financially, emotionally, and spiritually). It allows me to slow down and not have to hustle or worry about bills. I can launch my passion project and just care for my fiance, myself, our home (that I will move into after we're married), and our community. 🥰
Every one staring putting up the same background wall mirrors and glass coffee tables and plush rugs. The minute the makeup artist phase got played out they went to the soft life. With these empty houses that echo every sound.
When NHJ said "Hey..." I wasn't ready. I was on the edge of my seat. She got me. 😅
Great post. That soft-life on social media been a fraud.
To me, it's very similar to the people shouting "living my best life" as they bungie jump or sky dive. Cool. 😐
I am so here for this! When I rejected "soft life" bumbojumbo I was really rejecting the garbage and faux soft life in much the same way that I hate fake self-care. I have been on a personal development journey for quite some time and I have learned that just like there are posers in religion their are posers in the so called positive psychology movement.
Immediately thought of a few specific influencers who promote this. You’re video encapsulated my growing aversion of that content.