Hi everyone. As an ENFP who has struggled to finish books I started reading for many years, I realised that sitting still and reading one book at a time doesn't work for me. I get bored easily, no surprise there. What I begin doing a few months ago was to read 3 books of different topics every day for 5 minutes each. I would set a timer and make sure I did my 15 minutes reading every day! And when I found it easy to read within that time frame, I increased the time by 1 minute for each book ( which I found to be every few days). Now I am able to read each book for 30 minutes, which is amazing for me. I'm not perfect and I may skip a day or two here and there, but I make sure to get back into it. I hope this is helpful. Take care of yourselves x
I love this! I started doing something similar when I went back to school where I will read my most boring text books (looking at you, research methods) aloud to myself for 30 minute increments. It's actually so helpful!
Yes I read in the same fashion too. Such an exclusive conversation starter - Hey I'm reading books 1, 2 &3 at once. I know they're all different but let me tell you how similar they are
One easy habit I have is leaving the house on the weekends. I will purposefully drive around with no destination; seeing what catches my fancy. I basically let my Ne wander while me Fi decides what feels good! It's so relaxing and really helps me refresh me!
Can I ask you, how don’t you get lost in your thoughts? Because yesterday I did a walk by my own (I think that was the first time i went out the house without meeting any friends) and I was so drowned into my thoughts. I was so sad all the time and hated it when people saw me like that. I was sad because I missed my friends who are living in Switzerland and I’m in Ireland rn. So what do you do if you find a place you like during driving?
@@janets1051 well if you got lots of stuff to work through mentally it may be rough, but I think working through it and giving yourself time to feel/validate your feelings is healthy. Just try to feel it and then move forward. There are things you can't do like see those friends, but what can you do that fills you with life? I wound up at a coffee shop and wound up writing a lament of all my feelings in a word document on my phone. It was a bit intense, but it helped me. Anyway hope this experience of mine helps! And as much as it means coming from a stranger you got this! Won't be easy, but you can do it. I believe in you!
I swear the hardest thing is actually sitting through a whole video and paying attention the entire time 🙈 it’s so interesting but I feel like I need to do this is like 5 or 6 bites because I can’t stop my brain from moving onto other things after like 2-3mins
i feel you 😅 trying to fight the adhd because i love her videos but gosh, i have to rewind so many times 😭 but i love longer videos so it’s a struggle 😅 this is this attention span / distractibility and constant rewinding is why i stopped watching tv / films 🤣 now i just listen to podcasts or youtube videos as i do stuff !
i just make a mental note to come back to the video (or looking through my youtube history) if i haven’t finished a video / paid attention fully or to get the rest of the information i missed 😂
I quitted smoking and i found a very cute tea cup that when its heated at the microwave makes the drawing with little black clouds become whitte with happy faces, it always makes me smile too and when im stressed instead of taking a cigaret i want to make a tea just to see my cup happy
Hi. I found it very hard to stay consistent with my exercise routine until I joined a gym (to be surrounded by other people who worked out, to have access to machines and classes to help me move along, connect with more people and feel positive feelings around that, etc.) and (for the first time in my life) managed to begin small by only committing to going there four days a week physically, i. e., I told myself I didn’t need to actually exercise, I could just go inside and maybe take a shower, etc. And it worked so well. I almost always ended up working out when I got there and over time it became easier and easier. After about seven months I was going nearly every day and it didn’t feel like a decision I was taking or struggling with each day but more like it was just something I did, and over time it became that kind of helpful sequence of events that meant even if I was having an off day mentally, as soon as I began walking to the gym in the morning and ‘began’ the going-to-the-gym-sequence, I didn’t think about it anymore, I just did it without mental effort.
Started weight lifting 6 months ago. Mostly due to self hatred. Kept it on as a habit when I had to take care of my dad. The vision of him struggling to hold a box of tissues at night due to the “weight” of it made me dig deeper. I started to use that fear of ending up that way as motivation to get the habit. He always wanted to stay “shredded” and fasted/dieted to get that look and ended up too weak. Now I am strong enough to take care of of him and develop good habits too along with it.
@@jacquelynmccoy7088 thanks for the well wishes. Was glad I kept my lifting habits. He’s worse off nowadays. And picking him up off the ground as dead weight after a fall wouldn’t have been possible a year back.
@@WooBunny I'm sorry. hold on to hope and keep your eyes open for good things, love, and chances for improvement. It's so kind of you to take care of your father and be there with him, and great that you're growing in your habit. Even if he may be unwell right now, every moment of his life is still existent and important. I hope he can see good and love as well. ❤
Caring for my grandmother for a year had the same effect on me. I could see how I was already on a similar road and if I did course correct I was going to end up like her, and probably at a younger age too. It was a really difficult wake up call but I’m so grateful for it. I’m much more active, love to eat healthy food, can physically do a lot of the things I always wanted to, and am 80 lbs lighter than my heaviest weight when I was caring for her.
My most consistent habit has been doing Yoga With Adriene. I just adore her personality, and have stuck to her videos almost daily for over 5 years now! You and Adriene both make me feel so compassionately understood, watching either of your videos feels like hanging out with a best friend :) I wonder if she's an infj? All my besties are enfp and infj 😊
This made me smile so much because Adriene is also one of my favorite TH-camr, and the only person that had me doing Yoga daily for several months (which was huge for me). Your comment might just trigger me back into doing that again 😁
This video gave me A LOT of ideas of what to do to improve my life. I’m writing a book and I want to write certain scenes sometimes lol so I guess I will just write the chapter with the scene that excites me at the moment and go completing it eventually. I will use the hype and excitement while is fresh ✨ thank you! This is incredibly helpful! Lots of love from Mexico 🇲🇽
Yesss! I always write what excites me first in books. It's advice I received from another ENFP years ago and it's the only way I personally ever finish a good piece of writing 💪 You've got this!
Seriously Heidi, I am 47 years old and I'm just now feeling validated, challenged and understood. All your videos have been a HUGE blessing to me. Thank you!
Enfp here. My habbit is to clean the cat litters DAYLY :) because i love my cats and i want them to feel clean at home. Also i mop/whipe the floor almost weekly since a year to feel clean at home.. even no one will visit. It feels good :) Another thing is, i ALWAYS write notes in my memo or calender what i have to do for the week ect. This i do since years and it is reeally productive for me.
Omg it's like this video came just at the right moment in time, thank you so much for your awesome advice Heidi!! You are awesome and making us ENFPs understand ourselves better and better each time, love your content ❤️
Hey Heidi, I hope you'll read this. To be honest, a few months ago I broke my leg while on football. It might seem trivial to some, but this injury honestly changed my outlook on life ( after going through surgery ) and made me decide full of willpower to properly take care of my health ( of course I struggled as Si inferior so far ). This has made me strong enough to be disciplined enough with my workouts and my diet. Though, I'd like to believe failure isn't the only teacher, so I think having a strong vision of who I want to become in the future is what also motivates my willpower to do my best every day. I appreciate you, fellow enfp!
I'm starting to realize more and more that I need an "in your face" interruption to remember to stick to my habits, because I am easily distracted. (This MIGHT also be some undiagnosed ADHD, not sure.) So I got excited about learning programming (something completely unrelated to my field), and I created a bot that messages me as soon as I turn on my computer. The bot gives me the date, weather, air quality, and wishes me a good morning with some uplifting words. Then it reminds me of my morning routine and asks me if I finished it. For some reason, it feels incredibly motivating and I finish it every time. (Been 3 weeks now) Up next I'm going to add an evening, weekly, monthly, and yearly routine component to it. :)
I have a funny habit, Messy environment triggers me to study or work, so when it's time for me to do that I'll take the bundle of paper under the bed and just throw it up and all over the room, it kinda sets my mood and I'll grab the pen and get on it, when the work is over I'll organize everything into its places and everything goes back to normal 😅 idk how I got this trigger but I think it's mostly because I associate it with that of a messy crazy scientist and when I think of that I wanna do some math or science and as a student that helps hehe ( plus point my family calls me a weirdo for it and it excites me xd)
Loved this! I hate washing the dishes. But if I make it a time to be by myself and watch a TV show/movie I love or have been wanting to see I don't mind getting them done.
I have a job with a really wide variety of different tasks. The up-side is I get to work with teenagers and their parents the down side is I work alone in my office 4 days of 5 and have to do boring bookholding stuff as well. I already found out that „planning“ my work months and weeks ahead of time is rather blocking me than helping me getting things done. Instead I decide every morning what’s the most important thing that a) has to be done and b) is realistically doable with regards to my mood and energy level that day. Basically I ping-pong through tasks in order to avoid getting sidetracked by other interesting stuff like scientific articles, social media etc. At around 3 p.m. my afternoon sleepiness makes itself felt. I found out that this is the perfect time to make the necessary phone calls to parents - and it kills two birds with one stone: it helps me not to go crazy at being alone in one room for hours as I can chat with people about the thing they love most (their kids) AND I get necessary phone calls done for sales objectives.
I think my best habit I've gotten so far was starting doing Nano by getting excited to write a fanfiction! I now have a generally consistent period I dedicate every evening to working on creative stuff, and I LOVE IT! My sensory trigger I combine is using my standing desk!
Habit that I love: Sitting outside very early in the morning in any weather with my diary and my coffee. Actually that’s even more of a ritual. Could you actually do a video on rituals? Sure SI would love it ;)
I'm super excited for your end of the year book review! 2022 is going to be a year of healing and personal growth, and I'll use all the resources I can get! I can usually recognize problems in my life but have no idea where they come from or how to go about creating positive change, but I've learned so much this year that I'm ready to tackle the big stuff 💪 I'm sure there's a way to use the following information to trick our brains into enjoying habits and those necessary tasks we don't really enjoy, but I have absolutely no idea how to apply it. TL;DR: your dopamine neurons are activated when you receive a greater reward for an activity than your brain anticipated, but they're impaired when the reward is less than what your brain anticipated. Does anyone have any ideas about how we could apply this info to make trick our brains into enjoying routines? I did quite a bit of reading on the dopaminergic system last year (as preparation for a graduate school program I later decided not to attend), and something I found interesting is that we get a small initial dopamine release from the _anticipation_ of a dopamine hit. Just expecting a dopamine reward is enough to release dopamine. Even more interesting is that whenever we finish a thing (a task, food, physical intimacy, drugs/alcohol, ect.), the resulting dopamine response depends on the reward we receive versus the reward our brains anticipated to get from the activity. If the actual reward is greater than the anticipated reward, dopamine neurons are activated. If the reward is the same as our brains expected, our dopamine neurons don't respond. If the reward is less than our brains anticipated, dopamine neurons are actually _depressed,_ which is why some boring things feel absolutely miserable (like your example of doing one thing at a time when creating your courses - you get a reward from seeing the completed product, but your brain can only motivate you for so long without the reward associated with completion). Our brains will make us dread the things that cause this kind of response. How do you utilize this to trick your brain into enjoying habits and routines? I have absolutely no idea, but I would really love it if someone could tell me 😅 I suspect this is why it's difficult for some people with tons of optimism and enthusiasm or problems with dopamine regulation (e.g., ENFPs and people with ADHD) to stay motivated to stick with routines or new hobbies. We tend to get _so_ excited to try new things, start new habits & routines, etc. that we might be telling our brains to expect some kind of enormous reward. When our brains detect a perfectly reasonable reward, our overly optimistic expectations could result in a depression of dopamine neuron activity, making us drop that new habit as quickly as we picked it up. This is purely speculation and getting off the topic of your video, but its fun to think about.
(1) Yes it is fun to think about!! (2) I am laughing so hard at the fact that 1/4 of the way through this comment you wrote TL;DR and then proceeded to type a summary 3x longer than the original one 😂 God that's relatable. (3) I've actually speculated a lot that ENFPs may have a higher than average dopamine baseline (which is something that can happen through complex trauma and I'm currently agnostic as to whether certain personality types are more trauma response than type - probably not but you know how Ne is with considering these things). Anyway! That would mean that essentially we have higher dopamine tolerances - like how someone who drinks a lot would have a high alcohol tolerance - and need more dopamine to feel the same high that others feel, hence all the activity switching etc. as you mentioned! There *are* ways to combat and work with this, but I'll need a few more months to learn about it before I have a good enough grasp to share any of it 😂 Thanks for the quality Ne-ing!
I find that habits and rituals are very linked. The good habits that are easiest to maintain are the ones that make me feel like me, that I do to pamper myself. It’s often fixing stuff in the garden or actually doing any sort of practical work at home, things that doesn’t demand any brain activity from me. And walking places. And weight lifting - is weight lifting just an ENFP thing…? 🤔
Thank you also for your brilliant videos. I am blown away by you. I feel like you are like my twin sister. It is so weird to feel like things about me that I thought were unique to me and embarrassing are not. The way you are being so uplifting and inspiring is changing how I feel internally at a core level. I think you are doing something very important. It is just incredibly impressive because I feel you have not only not accepted certain norms but you have believed deeply in your worth and gone and found grounding in science. I can’t express it the way I mean it but I admire you more than I can say.
One of my habits is watching Heidi´s videos. Ur content feels like home to me. Regarding Food: I would not buy any meat or milk products from the supermarket, so I dont use them in my food creations. For my skin and pms I have a couple of foods rated as beneficial for me that I would always try to eat in a day( no matter when), even if the other stuff that I eat is not so healthy, which is: Flex seeds, green tea, green vegetables, mostly sugar free, black mustard oil, curcumin, barley grass, sellery juice and a lemon. I like the idea of being a morning person. To wake up in the morning, get out and observe how everything is looking so fresh in the morning around the lake that i live at. That makes me excited about getting out of bed, especially on a sunny morning. I like to combine grocery shopping with a run to have a goal. I am a bellydance teacher and I love to teach my students what I would like to learn from that dance. The same happens with splits or muscle training. I win from my students holding me accountable to teaching a great lesson and they do because the content is always suited to the needs of the group in general. Thats all I have to give as changing habits and motivation. >>>> Any ideas on how to feel more connection and intimacy in times of corona and as an ENFP?>>Also any tips on how to finish a bachelor that you actually don´t like to study because Education Sciences at my University is totally boring?
This video was great! I have a hard time getting to sit down and write, so I make it more enjoyable by putting on a light tv show in the background and sitting in my favourite couch
I just started reading Atomic Habits on your suggestion, and I love the way that this video is like an additional "here's how you apply this advice to being an ENFP." Here's my "weird" habit: I wanted to drink more water, and I wanted to do it without buying tons of reusable bottles. Because I was finding that I would want to drink water, but I was having trouble keeping track of cheap bottles and going through lots of disposable bottles. After a while, I realized that for me, the best way to keep myself drinking water throughout the day and keeping track of my resuable bottle was to get a reusable that was wildly expensive. ($25 Camelbaks to a $60 Yeti). This keeps me aware of my bottle, so I don't walk away from it and leave it behind somewhere, and these super nice bottles have all these handy features to make them easy to carry AND to keep my water deliciously cold without ice all day (prefers cold water, has cold sensitive teeth). So even though I'm spending a lot of money getting my reusable bottle, considering that I spend $5 at the gas station every time, it only takes 5-12 trips saved to make up the cost of the bottle, I'm doing my part to be sustainable, and the experience of drinking water is even more pleasant. Even if it does make me seem a little bougie.
This makes perfect sense to me! There are theories that Marie Kondo is an INFP (which would make us very cognitively similar) and I haven't read her book so I don't know for sure, but I think that the concept of investing in certain high-quality items that we value is actually fantastic advice for NPs!
I feel slightly attacked and definitely deserve to xD sorry for disrupting your series with my comments! I just noticed how healthy and fit you look and overall you seem so organised and well put together, not all over the place like a lot of us (might be an illusion but I noticed) and I felt a strong urge to ask you to put this video out ... However I love your dysfunctional family series and I love everything you do, not just the mbti related stuff, so keep up the great work! honestly the videos about selflove, the drama triangle, attachement styles, the break up video... some of the infomation blew me away, you really opened my eyes to some aspects of myself And I finished the midnight library today only because you said it was enfp crack and you were so damn right I feel SO ALIVE Holy Blablabla thank you for making this video!
Oh my goodness! Your point of completing something right then when your excited about it was sadly mind blowing to me. Idk how I had not noticed that before! Oh yeah I’m awful at noticing patterns. I absolutely love your channel! Subscribed! My husband is an istj which is…fun haha!
So insightful. Especially the tip regarding engineering the habit to be ‘instantly’ gratifying. As someone who’s been trying to adopt healthy stress coping habits, your advice has def given me a lot to think about.
Hey Heidi, fellow ENFP here I'm loving the tatt. thanks for this. Personally I'm also still figuring out this habit thing because once its done i feel the rest of the mountains I have to conquer wont be a problem. Uhmm a habit I found myself just doing are uhmm running laps in the evenings just to prove i to myself could go that far, then just cleaning my room especially on Sundays because it feels like a day to reboot for the week, then of late Ive been doing this thing where i choose to make a friend wherever i go so that there's that ever growing network of connections.
I just found your channel a few days ago. I'm 42 and you put into words what I have learned through hard lessons of the years. It a hugely useful tool just because its real and practical and non shaming/easy to identify with. Its really helped me to understand situations and I can also share and help others to understand me. PS. I'm pretty sure you have ADHD but have harnessed it rather than trying to drag it through a lifestyle that doesn't work.
OY, how can I have so much in common with someone 40 years younger lol! My only way to do what I don't want to do is to trick myself, side door stuff, having commitments is the best....I love this!
For years, I've been begging the 'universe' for techniques to put me 'in the mood' to tidy, clean. Hopefully, this video has a trick or two for that....
I started years ago playing a certian CD to let my young child know its time to pick up toys. Then we played the same one doing chores, now its thw "cleaning music" if I turn it on, we all just get up and clean the house at any random time.
Aww the bootcamp... nervous like hell during it, fond of it now i look back on it. The mug example reminds me of this lavender ceramic bowl i have become in love with and use every morning. i am very visual, love darkness too,i find it extremely calming to do things if it is dark. That would be it for me,regarding triggers. I happen to love Stargazing too :) Most meditative experience for me,ever. Wow, No. 3 : You nailed it Heidi, this is the major problem with the habits i have and routines i set myself up for. Not trusting my own laziness or likelihood to be lazy. I love consistency but not in rigid manners. I too need that Fire in my life (Chinese Medecine reference hehe). This has me thinking of enjoying one of my favorite foods from my childhood as reward for shopping in a healthy and conscious manner. That being, bananas and peanut butter (even if i need to balance my acidity levels right now). I have come to enjoy Yoga, oddly enough, i enjoy the Thunderbolt pose associated with the Third Eye Chakra (which i LOVE, i used to have powerfully vivid dreams). SO i enjoy doing that and if nothing else, i feel compelled to do this pose if nothing else before i sleep. There you go, that's my little quirky thing,partially inspired by one HSP featured in your ENFP book. I became horribly aware over time how stressful pushing myself to memorize or stick to details is for me, so this all helps me feel better about myself :)
I wish you had content for ENTJs. I relate to the ENFP stuff up to a point. That said, I haaaaaaaaate habitssssssss gahhhhhhhhhhh so this video is perfect.
I thought I was ADHD, my psychologist said there is no ADHD, its just a character trait, aka ENFP, but u get these ADHD symptoms when ur overly stressed
Am so curious about your note-taking technique and how you read, and if you have some kind of system for these things. I have often felt like maybe my chaotic way of absorbing information is deeply flawed and that it is crucial to have a systematic method when it comes to gathering and sorting new information. I feel I lose insights and ideas because I have so many and can’t seem to find a way to set up a consistent system that would enable me to feel in control and methodically sort through them.
my habits was drinking tea after evey meal, good hot tea, homade that took (lmao sorry just stumbled into those emojis lmaoooo) that took a long time to make but I always did, it's been months now, but time I wouldn't do were times I bought soda outside and decided to drink that rather than tea so it completly changed the making of my tea.
To go to sleep I have to listen to an ASMR fact video or something that I'm learning from. There's a sense of FOMO I feel if I don't listen to anything before my brain turns off...
Where to begin watching legal videos, shopping hauls, psychological and weird animals. Love to dance and do arts and crafts. I also enjoy people watching etc….
My God, all of these sound almost exactly like the advice I got for my ADHD. Are we like, natural ADHD'ers? 😂 ENFP+ADHD, I can't help but laugh. Like, sure Universe, just throw it in there while you're at it, why not? 🤣🤣
So how do I brush my teeth everyday while it's a daily struggle? I tried alllll the hacks. It is just very overstimulating and physically stressful, but I really need to do it for the rest of my life 😭 Sometimes I sleep 2 hours less because I procrastinate brushing teeth so long before I can go to bed. I already skip pretty often, but I don't want dental problems.
I made it a full routine so i have bangs and i put a cute hair band to avoid getting my hair dirty and that already triggers me to what i have to do, i brush my theeth and make an small skin care to remove eyeliner and put some coconut cream with a very nice favour after it, when i was just brushing my teeth was boring af but if i put come calm music i like staring at the mirror feel cute and taking care of myself just became very rewarding
Who are the goddam liars who tell us , that all good habits are hard and u will never like them. Fuck that , I had no idea that u were supposed to like habits . I thought every one hated all habits
Hi everyone. As an ENFP who has struggled to finish books I started reading for many years, I realised that sitting still and reading one book at a time doesn't work for me. I get bored easily, no surprise there. What I begin doing a few months ago was to read 3 books of different topics every day for 5 minutes each. I would set a timer and make sure I did my 15 minutes reading every day! And when I found it easy to read within that time frame, I increased the time by 1 minute for each book ( which I found to be every few days). Now I am able to read each book for 30 minutes, which is amazing for me. I'm not perfect and I may skip a day or two here and there, but I make sure to get back into it. I hope this is helpful. Take care of yourselves x
I love this! I started doing something similar when I went back to school where I will read my most boring text books (looking at you, research methods) aloud to myself for 30 minute increments. It's actually so helpful!
I have always had 2 or 3 books going, even when I was in school and they had nothing to do with school.
Aha! WONDERFUL IDEA!
OMG SAMEEEEEEEE HEREEEE!!!
Yes I read in the same fashion too. Such an exclusive conversation starter - Hey I'm reading books 1, 2 &3 at once. I know they're all different but let me tell you how similar they are
One easy habit I have is leaving the house on the weekends. I will purposefully drive around with no destination; seeing what catches my fancy. I basically let my Ne wander while me Fi decides what feels good! It's so relaxing and really helps me refresh me!
Can I ask you, how don’t you get lost in your thoughts? Because yesterday I did a walk by my own (I think that was the first time i went out the house without meeting any friends) and I was so drowned into my thoughts. I was so sad all the time and hated it when people saw me like that. I was sad because I missed my friends who are living in Switzerland and I’m in Ireland rn.
So what do you do if you find a place you like during driving?
I love this :) nice to know I’m not the only one
@@janets1051 well if you got lots of stuff to work through mentally it may be rough, but I think working through it and giving yourself time to feel/validate your feelings is healthy. Just try to feel it and then move forward. There are things you can't do like see those friends, but what can you do that fills you with life? I wound up at a coffee shop and wound up writing a lament of all my feelings in a word document on my phone. It was a bit intense, but it helped me. Anyway hope this experience of mine helps! And as much as it means coming from a stranger you got this! Won't be easy, but you can do it. I believe in you!
I do this sometimes too!
I have woke up at 4am to play the piano for Years and years. It is true that the magic happens when you do love doing something.
I swear the hardest thing is actually sitting through a whole video and paying attention the entire time 🙈 it’s so interesting but I feel like I need to do this is like 5 or 6 bites because I can’t stop my brain from moving onto other things after like 2-3mins
try double speed, and maybe a notes section open or a notebook helps me to concentrate if it's something valuable.
i feel you 😅 trying to fight the adhd because i love her videos but gosh, i have to rewind so many times 😭 but i love longer videos so it’s a struggle 😅 this is this attention span / distractibility and constant rewinding is why i stopped watching tv / films 🤣 now i just listen to podcasts or youtube videos as i do stuff !
i just make a mental note to come back to the video (or looking through my youtube history) if i haven’t finished a video / paid attention fully or to get the rest of the information i missed 😂
I quitted smoking and i found a very cute tea cup that when its heated at the microwave makes the drawing with little black clouds become whitte with happy faces, it always makes me smile too and when im stressed instead of taking a cigaret i want to make a tea just to see my cup happy
I like to dance 💃 alone in my bedroom every morning.
I just finished dancing... alone, in my bedroom. But I do it every night! 😀 Sending good vibes to you, dear human!
Hi. I found it very hard to stay consistent with my exercise routine until I joined a gym (to be surrounded by other people who worked out, to have access to machines and classes to help me move along, connect with more people and feel positive feelings around that, etc.) and (for the first time in my life) managed to begin small by only committing to going there four days a week physically, i. e., I told myself I didn’t need to actually exercise, I could just go inside and maybe take a shower, etc.
And it worked so well. I almost always ended up working out when I got there and over time it became easier and easier. After about seven months I was going nearly every day and it didn’t feel like a decision I was taking or struggling with each day but more like it was just something I did, and over time it became that kind of helpful sequence of events that meant even if I was having an off day mentally, as soon as I began walking to the gym in the morning and ‘began’ the going-to-the-gym-sequence, I didn’t think about it anymore, I just did it without mental effort.
Started weight lifting 6 months ago. Mostly due to self hatred. Kept it on as a habit when I had to take care of my dad. The vision of him struggling to hold a box of tissues at night due to the “weight” of it made me dig deeper.
I started to use that fear of ending up that way as motivation to get the habit. He always wanted to stay “shredded” and fasted/dieted to get that look and ended up too weak. Now I am strong enough to take care of of him and develop good habits too along with it.
I hope your dad is alright or getting healthier. :)
@@jacquelynmccoy7088 thanks for the well wishes. Was glad I kept my lifting habits. He’s worse off nowadays. And picking him up off the ground as dead weight after a fall wouldn’t have been possible a year back.
@@WooBunny I'm sorry. hold on to hope and keep your eyes open for good things, love, and chances for improvement. It's so kind of you to take care of your father and be there with him, and great that you're growing in your habit. Even if he may be unwell right now, every moment of his life is still existent and important. I hope he can see good and love as well. ❤
Caring for my grandmother for a year had the same effect on me. I could see how I was already on a similar road and if I did course correct I was going to end up like her, and probably at a younger age too. It was a really difficult wake up call but I’m so grateful for it. I’m much more active, love to eat healthy food, can physically do a lot of the things I always wanted to, and am 80 lbs lighter than my heaviest weight when I was caring for her.
My most consistent habit has been doing Yoga With Adriene. I just adore her personality, and have stuck to her videos almost daily for over 5 years now! You and Adriene both make me feel so compassionately understood, watching either of your videos feels like hanging out with a best friend :)
I wonder if she's an infj? All my besties are enfp and infj 😊
This made me smile so much because Adriene is also one of my favorite TH-camr, and the only person that had me doing Yoga daily for several months (which was huge for me). Your comment might just trigger me back into doing that again 😁
I love doing skincare, it makes me feel like I'm taking care of myself.
This video gave me A LOT of ideas of what to do to improve my life. I’m writing a book and I want to write certain scenes sometimes lol so I guess I will just write the chapter with the scene that excites me at the moment and go completing it eventually. I will use the hype and excitement while is fresh ✨ thank you! This is incredibly helpful! Lots of love from Mexico 🇲🇽
Yesss! I always write what excites me first in books. It's advice I received from another ENFP years ago and it's the only way I personally ever finish a good piece of writing 💪 You've got this!
Seriously Heidi, I am 47 years old and I'm just now feeling validated, challenged and understood. All your videos have been a HUGE blessing to me. Thank you!
I am 47 as well imans I just now started understanding myself .
Enfp here.
My habbit is to clean the cat litters DAYLY :) because i love my cats and i want them to feel clean at home. Also i mop/whipe the floor almost weekly since a year to feel clean at home.. even no one will visit. It feels good :)
Another thing is, i ALWAYS write notes in my memo or calender what i have to do for the week ect. This i do since years and it is reeally productive for me.
Omg it's like this video came just at the right moment in time, thank you so much for your awesome advice Heidi!! You are awesome and making us ENFPs understand ourselves better and better each time, love your content ❤️
Hey Heidi, I hope you'll read this. To be honest, a few months ago I broke my leg while on football. It might seem trivial to some, but this injury honestly changed my outlook on life ( after going through surgery ) and made me decide full of willpower to properly take care of my health ( of course I struggled as Si inferior so far ). This has made me strong enough to be disciplined enough with my workouts and my diet. Though, I'd like to believe failure isn't the only teacher, so I think having a strong vision of who I want to become in the future is what also motivates my willpower to do my best every day. I appreciate you, fellow enfp!
“Work with your natural energy.”
I'm starting to realize more and more that I need an "in your face" interruption to remember to stick to my habits, because I am easily distracted. (This MIGHT also be some undiagnosed ADHD, not sure.) So I got excited about learning programming (something completely unrelated to my field), and I created a bot that messages me as soon as I turn on my computer. The bot gives me the date, weather, air quality, and wishes me a good morning with some uplifting words. Then it reminds me of my morning routine and asks me if I finished it. For some reason, it feels incredibly motivating and I finish it every time. (Been 3 weeks now) Up next I'm going to add an evening, weekly, monthly, and yearly routine component to it. :)
I have a funny habit, Messy environment triggers me to study or work, so when it's time for me to do that I'll take the bundle of paper under the bed and just throw it up and all over the room, it kinda sets my mood and I'll grab the pen and get on it, when the work is over I'll organize everything into its places and everything goes back to normal 😅 idk how I got this trigger but I think it's mostly because I associate it with that of a messy crazy scientist and when I think of that I wanna do some math or science and as a student that helps hehe ( plus point my family calls me a weirdo for it and it excites me xd)
Oh I loved that, I hate cleaning so it's easier for me to study in messy environment than making my besd :)
😂😂😂 I love that!!
My INTP guy really doesn't understand when I tell him that his healthy eating habits don't work for me because they're not fun.
Loved this!
I hate washing the dishes. But if I make it a time to be by myself and watch a TV show/movie I love or have been wanting to see I don't mind getting them done.
I have a job with a really wide variety of different tasks. The up-side is I get to work with teenagers and their parents the down side is I work alone in my office 4 days of 5 and have to do boring bookholding stuff as well. I already found out that „planning“ my work months and weeks ahead of time is rather blocking me than helping me getting things done. Instead I decide every morning what’s the most important thing that a) has to be done and b) is realistically doable with regards to my mood and energy level that day. Basically I ping-pong through tasks in order to avoid getting sidetracked by other interesting stuff like scientific articles, social media etc. At around 3 p.m. my afternoon sleepiness makes itself felt. I found out that this is the perfect time to make the necessary phone calls to parents - and it kills two birds with one stone: it helps me not to go crazy at being alone in one room for hours as I can chat with people about the thing they love most (their kids) AND I get necessary phone calls done for sales objectives.
I think my best habit I've gotten so far was starting doing Nano by getting excited to write a fanfiction! I now have a generally consistent period I dedicate every evening to working on creative stuff, and I LOVE IT! My sensory trigger I combine is using my standing desk!
Standing desk is brilliant, I find I cant continue working long periods without that change from up to down!
Habit that I love: Sitting outside very early in the morning in any weather with my diary and my coffee. Actually that’s even more of a ritual. Could you actually do a video on rituals? Sure SI would love it ;)
I love both this ritual (it sounds like the perfect way to start a day) and the idea of doing a video on rituals! Consider it logged.
Thank you Heidiiiii for helping us ENFPS, we really need this 😂💖
I'm super excited for your end of the year book review! 2022 is going to be a year of healing and personal growth, and I'll use all the resources I can get! I can usually recognize problems in my life but have no idea where they come from or how to go about creating positive change, but I've learned so much this year that I'm ready to tackle the big stuff 💪
I'm sure there's a way to use the following information to trick our brains into enjoying habits and those necessary tasks we don't really enjoy, but I have absolutely no idea how to apply it. TL;DR: your dopamine neurons are activated when you receive a greater reward for an activity than your brain anticipated, but they're impaired when the reward is less than what your brain anticipated. Does anyone have any ideas about how we could apply this info to make trick our brains into enjoying routines?
I did quite a bit of reading on the dopaminergic system last year (as preparation for a graduate school program I later decided not to attend), and something I found interesting is that we get a small initial dopamine release from the _anticipation_ of a dopamine hit. Just expecting a dopamine reward is enough to release dopamine. Even more interesting is that whenever we finish a thing (a task, food, physical intimacy, drugs/alcohol, ect.), the resulting dopamine response depends on the reward we receive versus the reward our brains anticipated to get from the activity. If the actual reward is greater than the anticipated reward, dopamine neurons are activated. If the reward is the same as our brains expected, our dopamine neurons don't respond. If the reward is less than our brains anticipated, dopamine neurons are actually _depressed,_ which is why some boring things feel absolutely miserable (like your example of doing one thing at a time when creating your courses - you get a reward from seeing the completed product, but your brain can only motivate you for so long without the reward associated with completion). Our brains will make us dread the things that cause this kind of response. How do you utilize this to trick your brain into enjoying habits and routines? I have absolutely no idea, but I would really love it if someone could tell me 😅
I suspect this is why it's difficult for some people with tons of optimism and enthusiasm or problems with dopamine regulation (e.g., ENFPs and people with ADHD) to stay motivated to stick with routines or new hobbies. We tend to get _so_ excited to try new things, start new habits & routines, etc. that we might be telling our brains to expect some kind of enormous reward. When our brains detect a perfectly reasonable reward, our overly optimistic expectations could result in a depression of dopamine neuron activity, making us drop that new habit as quickly as we picked it up. This is purely speculation and getting off the topic of your video, but its fun to think about.
(1) Yes it is fun to think about!! (2) I am laughing so hard at the fact that 1/4 of the way through this comment you wrote TL;DR and then proceeded to type a summary 3x longer than the original one 😂 God that's relatable. (3) I've actually speculated a lot that ENFPs may have a higher than average dopamine baseline (which is something that can happen through complex trauma and I'm currently agnostic as to whether certain personality types are more trauma response than type - probably not but you know how Ne is with considering these things). Anyway! That would mean that essentially we have higher dopamine tolerances - like how someone who drinks a lot would have a high alcohol tolerance - and need more dopamine to feel the same high that others feel, hence all the activity switching etc. as you mentioned! There *are* ways to combat and work with this, but I'll need a few more months to learn about it before I have a good enough grasp to share any of it 😂
Thanks for the quality Ne-ing!
I find that habits and rituals are very linked. The good habits that are easiest to maintain are the ones that make me feel like me, that I do to pamper myself. It’s often fixing stuff in the garden or actually doing any sort of practical work at home, things that doesn’t demand any brain activity from me. And walking places. And weight lifting - is weight lifting just an ENFP thing…? 🤔
Thank you also for your brilliant videos. I am blown away by you. I feel like you are like my twin sister. It is so weird to feel like things about me that I thought were unique to me and embarrassing are not. The way you are being so uplifting and inspiring is changing how I feel internally at a core level. I think you are doing something very important. It is just incredibly impressive because I feel you have not only not accepted certain norms but you have believed deeply in your worth and gone and found grounding in science. I can’t express it the way I mean it but I admire you more than I can say.
One of my habits is watching Heidi´s videos. Ur content feels like home to me. Regarding Food: I would not buy any meat or milk products from the supermarket, so I dont use them in my food creations. For my skin and pms I have a couple of foods rated as beneficial for me that I would always try to eat in a day( no matter when), even if the other stuff that I eat is not so healthy, which is: Flex seeds, green tea, green vegetables, mostly sugar free, black mustard oil, curcumin, barley grass, sellery juice and a lemon. I like the idea of being a morning person. To wake up in the morning, get out and observe how everything is looking so fresh in the morning around the lake that i live at. That makes me excited about getting out of bed, especially on a sunny morning. I like to combine grocery shopping with a run to have a goal. I am a bellydance teacher and I love to teach my students what I would like to learn from that dance. The same happens with splits or muscle training. I win from my students holding me accountable to teaching a great lesson and they do because the content is always suited to the needs of the group in general.
Thats all I have to give as changing habits and motivation.
>>>> Any ideas on how to feel more connection and intimacy in times of corona and as an ENFP?>>Also any tips on how to finish a bachelor that you actually don´t like to study because Education Sciences at my University is totally boring?
This video was great! I have a hard time getting to sit down and write, so I make it more enjoyable by putting on a light tv show in the background and sitting in my favourite couch
I just started reading Atomic Habits on your suggestion, and I love the way that this video is like an additional "here's how you apply this advice to being an ENFP."
Here's my "weird" habit: I wanted to drink more water, and I wanted to do it without buying tons of reusable bottles. Because I was finding that I would want to drink water, but I was having trouble keeping track of cheap bottles and going through lots of disposable bottles. After a while, I realized that for me, the best way to keep myself drinking water throughout the day and keeping track of my resuable bottle was to get a reusable that was wildly expensive. ($25 Camelbaks to a $60 Yeti). This keeps me aware of my bottle, so I don't walk away from it and leave it behind somewhere, and these super nice bottles have all these handy features to make them easy to carry AND to keep my water deliciously cold without ice all day (prefers cold water, has cold sensitive teeth). So even though I'm spending a lot of money getting my reusable bottle, considering that I spend $5 at the gas station every time, it only takes 5-12 trips saved to make up the cost of the bottle, I'm doing my part to be sustainable, and the experience of drinking water is even more pleasant. Even if it does make me seem a little bougie.
This makes perfect sense to me! There are theories that Marie Kondo is an INFP (which would make us very cognitively similar) and I haven't read her book so I don't know for sure, but I think that the concept of investing in certain high-quality items that we value is actually fantastic advice for NPs!
Heidi, the opt out thing is just BRILLIANT! I loved it in applying it to habits in general. Plus, I procrastinate on reading v popular books too!
Tbh you have the best videos for ENFPs
I feel slightly attacked and definitely deserve to xD sorry for disrupting your series with my comments! I just noticed how healthy and fit you look and overall you seem so organised and well put together, not all over the place like a lot of us (might be an illusion but I noticed) and I felt a strong urge to ask you to put this video out ...
However I love your dysfunctional family series and I love everything you do, not just the mbti related stuff, so keep up the great work! honestly the videos about selflove, the drama triangle, attachement styles, the break up video... some of the infomation blew me away, you really opened my eyes to some aspects of myself
And I finished the midnight library today only because you said it was enfp crack and you were so damn right I feel SO ALIVE Holy
Blablabla thank you for making this video!
Oh my goodness! Your point of completing something right then when your excited about it was sadly mind blowing to me. Idk how I had not noticed that before! Oh yeah I’m awful at noticing patterns. I absolutely love your channel! Subscribed! My husband is an istj which is…fun haha!
So insightful. Especially the tip regarding engineering the habit to be ‘instantly’ gratifying. As someone who’s been trying to adopt healthy stress coping habits, your advice has def given me a lot to think about.
Hey Heidi, fellow ENFP here I'm loving the tatt. thanks for this. Personally I'm also still figuring out this habit thing because once its done i feel the rest of the mountains I have to conquer wont be a problem. Uhmm a habit I found myself just doing are uhmm running laps in the evenings just to prove i to myself could go that far, then just cleaning my room especially on Sundays because it feels like a day to reboot for the week, then of late Ive been doing this thing where i choose to make a friend wherever i go so that there's that ever growing network of connections.
Woah that 10pm trigger and phone set up is amazing!!!!
You know what I need 😭😭😭 Thank you!
I just found your channel a few days ago. I'm 42 and you put into words what I have learned through hard lessons of the years. It a hugely useful tool just because its real and practical and non shaming/easy to identify with. Its really helped me to understand situations and I can also share and help others to understand me.
PS. I'm pretty sure you have ADHD but have harnessed it rather than trying to drag it through a lifestyle that doesn't work.
yeah 2021 was a whole purgatorial syphoning of bad habits, so happy to be finally flipping the script 35 years in.
Thank you Heidi. I've ordered Atomic Habits!
OY, how can I have so much in common with someone 40 years younger lol! My only way to do what I don't want to do is to trick myself, side door stuff, having commitments is the best....I love this!
For years, I've been begging the 'universe' for techniques to put me 'in the mood' to tidy, clean. Hopefully, this video has a trick or two for that....
I’d listen to audiobooks during it
You'll find the answer within yourself if you dig deep enough :)
I started years ago playing a certian CD to let my young child know its time to pick up toys. Then we played the same one doing chores, now its thw "cleaning music" if I turn it on, we all just get up and clean the house at any random time.
Your hair looks so pretty 🤩
I love you. This is brilliant. You kept my attention, gave me a way forward, and taught me something new.
Aww the bootcamp... nervous like hell during it, fond of it now i look back on it. The mug example reminds me of this lavender ceramic bowl i have become in love with and use every morning. i am very visual, love darkness too,i find it extremely calming to do things if it is dark. That would be it for me,regarding triggers. I happen to love Stargazing too :) Most meditative experience for me,ever.
Wow, No. 3 : You nailed it Heidi, this is the major problem with the habits i have and routines i set myself up for. Not trusting my own laziness or likelihood to be lazy. I love consistency but not in rigid manners. I too need that Fire in my life (Chinese Medecine reference hehe). This has me thinking of enjoying one of my favorite foods from my childhood as reward for shopping in a healthy and conscious manner. That being, bananas and peanut butter (even if i need to balance my acidity levels right now).
I have come to enjoy Yoga, oddly enough, i enjoy the Thunderbolt pose associated with the Third Eye Chakra (which i LOVE, i used to have powerfully vivid dreams). SO i enjoy doing that and if nothing else, i feel compelled to do this pose if nothing else before i sleep. There you go, that's my little quirky thing,partially inspired by one HSP featured in your ENFP book.
I became horribly aware over time how stressful pushing myself to memorize or stick to details is for me, so this all helps me feel better about myself :)
Heidi, thank you so much!
I wish you had content for ENTJs. I relate to the ENFP stuff up to a point. That said, I haaaaaaaaate habitssssssss gahhhhhhhhhhh so this video is perfect.
I would like to request a follow-up: your healthy recipes (i want to know about those roasted vegetables you have mentioned elsewhere, for example)
Those tips are awesome👌🔥
Hello, @Heidi Priebe, can you please do a video about ADHD in ENFP adult women please?
I thought I was ADHD, my psychologist said there is no ADHD, its just a character trait, aka ENFP, but u get these ADHD symptoms when ur overly stressed
Great video. Lots of useful info for ENTPs too. Cheers
Am so curious about your note-taking technique and how you read, and if you have some kind of system for these things. I have often felt like maybe my chaotic way of absorbing information is deeply flawed and that it is crucial to have a systematic method when it comes to gathering and sorting new information. I feel I lose insights and ideas because I have so many and can’t seem to find a way to set up a consistent system that would enable me to feel in control and methodically sort through them.
my habits was drinking tea after evey meal, good hot tea, homade that took (lmao sorry just stumbled into those emojis lmaoooo) that took a long time to make but I always did, it's been months now, but time I wouldn't do were times I bought soda outside and decided to drink that rather than tea so it completly changed the making of my tea.
To go to sleep I have to listen to an ASMR fact video or something that I'm learning from. There's a sense of FOMO I feel if I don't listen to anything before my brain turns off...
Where to begin watching legal videos, shopping hauls, psychological and weird animals. Love to dance and do arts and crafts. I also enjoy people watching etc….
This was so so helpful thank you🎉😂❤
I was always taught if u like something then it’s bad for u
Do you only talk about ENFP, or other Meyer Briggs codes?
I am so happy to have started to own my weird sides. One of those is to lick my plate after eating a delish meal😂
I loveeeeeee youuuuuuuuu 💖
This is SO me .
dopamine my fave!!!
My God, all of these sound almost exactly like the advice I got for my ADHD. Are we like, natural ADHD'ers? 😂 ENFP+ADHD, I can't help but laugh. Like, sure Universe, just throw it in there while you're at it, why not? 🤣🤣
So how do I brush my teeth everyday while it's a daily struggle? I tried alllll the hacks. It is just very overstimulating and physically stressful, but I really need to do it for the rest of my life 😭 Sometimes I sleep 2 hours less because I procrastinate brushing teeth so long before I can go to bed. I already skip pretty often, but I don't want dental problems.
I made it a full routine so i have bangs and i put a cute hair band to avoid getting my hair dirty and that already triggers me to what i have to do, i brush my theeth and make an small skin care to remove eyeliner and put some coconut cream with a very nice favour after it, when i was just brushing my teeth was boring af but if i put come calm music i like staring at the mirror feel cute and taking care of myself just became very rewarding
Because of the Lighting, it looks like your eyes are robot eyes
Edong?
We are social creatures grrrr
How do u join boot camp
Do all Enfps have ADHD or do all adhds have enfp?
As an ENFP myself being awake at 7am sounds awful
I am so fucking angry that I’ve been lied to so much all my life I don’t know if anyone ever told me the truth
Who are the goddam liars who tell us , that all good habits are hard and u will never like them. Fuck that , I had no idea that u were supposed to like habits . I thought every one hated all habits
Do y'all copy cool sides from u r frds like hair style, walking, dressing or anything else. I don't even know why i am doing this wtf 😐
Hahah I relate to this! I am 100% a copier when it comes to most sensory things.
@@heidipriebe1 ✌️😂👊
infps dig no bs videos lol