Hi beautiful souls! Thank you so much for being here and for your wonderful comments - I truly appreciate them ❤️ I try to read and answer as many as possible, and know that I’m just so thankful that you take from your valuable time to do so ❤️ Love & light!
I have been a nurse for 25+ years, and looked after many patients with ESBL. It is nothing to really worry about unless you are very unwell and immunocompromised. Hence why they isolate you in the hospital. A lot of people can have it in the community and it never affects them as they have a healthy immune system. You honestly have nothing to worry about ❤
You have been strong for so long, give yourself the space for grief, rest and healing. It really can feel impossible, take care to fully enjoy those few moments of happiness as they come. WIshing you more peaceful times ahead
Dear sweet Eirin, I am sorry you lost your grandmother. You certainly have been given more than your share of crosses to carry. We are all praying for you! Thank you for your courage! God bless and keep you in His compassionate care! ❤️🙏
I don’t like the therapists reaction, all it would have taken was to wash hands after removing your jacket, no fuss. I really hope your surgery goes well ❤️ I’m trying to find a positive for you at this difficult time, I think what a blessing to have a grandparent as an adult. I hardly knew any of mine as they all died when I was a child and i wish I had known them and their love. As you say she is a peace and not suffering anymore and she was surrounded by love when she passed ❤
Hello! I love when you post, it’s like getting a phone call from a friend you haven’t heard from for a bit! 💗 I’m sorry to hear about your Grandmother. I’ll be sending you lots of good vibes and prayers for your surgery 🙏🏻 you are definitely a light in this world ✨ keep shining! 🌟
HOW can you possibly remain so collected and calm and coherent with all this happening to you? I have the greatest respect for you 😮! I would be raging, crying, yelling, sobbing uncontrollably, crumbling with depression, hiding under the sofa, scratching out the eyes of people passing me.... I have a mind to hit a few people you mentioned right in the face 😠😡. I know, I know this is not very christian, but I feel I want to be angry for your sake. Sending you ❤❤❤ Thank you SO much for this update 😊 ...I'm still furious about how certain people treat you 😠 So glad about mum and mommy ❤ love with bouts of depression - and anger🤭 - from Austria
Oh sweetie, I am doing all those things behind the camera - I am completely overwhelmed and would like to break a couple of things myself 😅❤️ It’s okay to feel all the feelings 🥰 Thank you for your support and love 💕
Praying God wraps you in His healing, comforting and peace-giving care. I send my condolences to you and your family at this diffigult time of loss. You are an amazing young woman! It's a joy to share your burdens and pray for you. 💕😘🙏 Sending a gentle hug which I wish I could deliver person. 💗
I applaud you for finding the thing that would calm you and distract you like seeing a movie when you were having such a bad day, sounds like a very healthy form of self-care, I’m so sorry about the loss of your grandmother, the most difficult loss I’ve ever had was at age 35 when I lost my Mom to cancer, and here I am 19 years later and I still miss her but my heart ache has healed and as a Christian I believe I will see her again someday in heaven so that brings me peace, sending you love & prayers for continued healing, not just the grieving but your health, too. I just love your honesty & openness, you’re such a positive light in what can be such a dark world sometimes.
I’m so sorry you’re going through all this, Eirin. Setbacks are so hard to deal with when you’re all psyched up for something. I hope things start to improve for you. I’m sorry about your grandma. My husband died at 63 with Parkinson’s and associated dementia. It’s a beast. Off topic, but I have to say how much I admire your ability to speak perfect English. It’s astonishing! God bless these next couple of weeks as you get ready for your operation. Love from the UK. X
Hello beautiful lady. I adore you, your strength and fortitude. Losing a close family member is so hard. I lost my mom when I was 24. I’m 68 and I miss her every day. Life sucks. But life goes on. Look, feel and see the beauty of this wonderful world. Life is so much more than our inner struggles. You have made me smile today. Thank you
I lost my maternal grandmother, the only one I was close to in my life, just before my birthday in 2012. She was diagnosed with cancer and lived less than a year after her diagnosis. I am so sorry for your loss of your grandmother. 💔 It is heartbreaking to lose someone you love even when you have had time to prepare for it. Wishing you the best of luck on your surgery and health ❤️ With love from Louisiana in the USA
Dearest Eirin, Oh my dear young lady❤…you are dealing with so much right now. My heart goes out to you on the death of your beloved Grandmother. COVID is clearly not done with our planet yet. And now you are dealing with damned E Coli infection! Plus your laparoscopic surgery delayed and rescheduled. You certainly have a lot of stress. You are my hero sweet woman. Please, please know that many, many people are thinking and praying for you❤ Much love from a Norwegian descendent in Minnesota. It will all work itself out with time. Grief as you know is hard and takes very long time….
Elrin, I have PTSD too..abandonment, loss too in this life of suffering, this life of DUKKHA...being all alone out here and getting scared and anxiety it has helped me to listen to dharma talks by Ajahn Sona and other monks (no commercials, YEAH)...seems to help calm me and with all YOU endure it is no wonder you feel as you do....and YOU ARE FAR MORE BRAVE than I being on youtube creating such sweet videos for all of us...XO..from Florida...♥♥♥
Sending you love, hugs and prayers. My cousin that I had the pleasure of being her caregiver for 16 months due to her having MD, Friederick Ataxia, in her own apartment, her health had gotten worse and needed to go into an assisted care at the age of 45. She is still alive and going day by day. It use to be life expectancy was 35 to 45. She is 54 but her disease has progressed. Unfortunately she does spend most of her time in bed. This darn COVID and everything else that has changed the way we have to live with our health, she keeps pretty positive. I am 68yo. Thoughts and prayers to you.❤
Oh, wow. I always appreciate your transparency, whether sharing struggles or joy. You are precious to your followers (friends), and it helps us know how to pray for you. 🙏🏻❤️
Your thoughts about the complex feelings that come with receiving a new diagnosis are amazingly insightful. There is value from completing the puzzle (that feeling of oh! It all makes sense), but there can absolutely be downsides to making something official. I’m really passionate about exploring both sides of this because many groups of people seem to only value one half of these feelings.
Hi. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum to alzhiemers 8 years ago. It was a long drawn out heartbreaking time. I have trained myself to now focus on the happy memories before her illness. I know she is always with me. Your grandmother will be watching over you and giving you the strength to cope with all of your challenges. Sending prayers x
You have had a lot going on! You don't have to always be strong. Take all the time you need to grieve, rest, heal & process. Enjoy the happy moments when they come & love on Thor. :)
You are entitled to every each of one emotions you feel. You can be mad and sad at the same time, and you can feel hope and grief… it is human and the fact that you can discern your emotions just means that you have a deep connection with your inner self. You can indulge in every emotion you feel right to the moment, as long as you need to elaborate them. Forgive what you can let go and remember what you want to keep sturdy in your memory. And one last thing… when my grandma was dying I was in another city and the first train to come home was in the morning… I went to the movies and watched a silly horror movie. For me it works, because I can “transfer” some of my real fear in the fear induced by the movie, and then I feel relieved when the movie ends, taking away a bit of my real fear and stress with them. “The cabin in the woods” still make wonders for me 😅 Sending you a lot of love, wishing you the best ❤
You will be free of the pain your grandmother inflicted. My stepmother was a monster to me. When she passed, I had all kinds of conflicted feelings, too. That was like 5 yrs ago. You go through a healing process. You will be OK. Xo❤
Ah sweetheart, I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother.......... She is at peace now, and we all struggle with mental health issues especially these days, just do the best you can and remember you did do your best! Stay strong and positive and I will of course continue with daily prayers for you!🙏
I'm so very sorry your struggling even more than usual m'lovely. Please don't forget there are no goodbyes in this life, it's just cheerio until we meet in the next...... you will absolutely see her again ❤
Oh my gosh, what a load of concerns you are going through and processing!! You must be so exhausted!! Watching a loved one go through dementia is very difficult as we are helpless. I lost my mother-in-law to Alzheimer’s. Not that cancer isn’t difficult, but I feel there is treatment which can be harsh but then when we see positive results from it there is some relief. (my sister has been going through cancer treatment, the treatment was very hard on her body, but she’s come through it and the cancer Tumors are nearly gone! Praise the Lord! ❤ It’s good that you were taking the actions necessary to improve your well-being physically and mentally! You’re in my continued prayers, hang in there you are an amazing person!
Eirin, I‘m very sorry for your loss. I know the conflicting emotions and ambivalence all too well. Let me just say from experience that it does get better. I‘m 59 and in a good place today. I still have triggers and panic attacks from time to time, but I‘ve learned to accept it. It’s a part of me and the less I try to fight it, the quicker it usually passes. I went to therapy for 8 years and it was hard work, but the voices in my head have quieted for the most part. I wish you all the best.
Sending condolences from Ireland ☘️ .. sorry you're going through so much honey 😢. Some professionals, although intelligent have little common sense or compassion. With dementia I'm sure you felt that you had already lost part of your Grandmother, it's such a shame. Cry, grieve, scream, but come back to us with your smile and positivity. We will be waiting patiently for your next update which will probably be after your surgery so I am sending love and prayers it all goes well. By the way, your autumn decorations are lovely.❤❤
So glad you are, for the most part anyway, ok. I was getting worried. It is ok to feel sad and relieved at the same time. Take care my young and beautiful friend. 🙏❤️ Ohio USA
My deepest condolences for the loss of your Grandmother. May she rest in Peace. I so glad that they have your surgery scheduled. Will be saying some extra prayers for you. I also pray that you find a therapist that is helpful and connects with you ❤
Eirin!! It's as if you come to mind and then within days you pop up on my feed. So glad to see you!! However, I am so sorry for all you are going through. I can totally understand your mixed emotions, I have been there too. Sending you positive vibes, hugs, and lots of love! Don't feel afraid to share what you want to share..you never know if someone is dealing with the same and sharing it can help not only you process it but, it may help others as well as yourself not feel alone. Don't stay away for to long Eirin!!.. Incase we don't see you prior to your surgery hoping all goes well and as planned... may it bring about only solutions and answers to all you have been living through health wise. -with love!
It's so nice to hear from you. I am so sorry for your loss and all the other issues you are and have gone through. You are a very strong person, and I know God will get you through all of this.
Hello My Beautiful Soul.. Im so sorry to hear of the loss of your Grandmother. I can't believe with all you've been through and your continued struggles you still manage to shine your light onto others. You are truly a brave and amazing woman. Please take care and know you are loved by all here. Sending light, love ❤️ and healing prayers your way. 🙏 God Bless.🙌 P.S. Perhaps you should consider seeking out another therapist. You certainly deserve someone who is more understanding and compassionate.
Hi Eirin, my condolences for the passing of your dear gran. 🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️It sounded to definitely have been her time darling. May she rest in peace 🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️..... Life is certainly no easy path for you darling. How rotton that you now have the infection to contend with. I pray that will resolve itself soon. You handle your difficult times with such good grace and strength. Naturally there will be times of anxiety and low points mentally. That's because you are human and not a machine! You radiate a beautiful spirit and I believe you inspire so many people to keep fighting during hard times. Sending you love and look after yourself ❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗🤗🙏🙏🙏💐💐💐💐💐💐
Eirin, I am so sorry for the loss of your Grandmother. My thoughts and prayers are with you during these difficult days. Please stay strong as this surgery day approaches. It will be behind you before you know it and you can move forward. Good luck sweetie!
I so look forward to your posts and get excited when I see a new one. I am sending you a warm hug for all that you’re going through and positive wishes for a smooth upcoming surgery. You deserve to have some peace, joy, and improved health. Plz keep us posted ❤❤
Eirin, I'm so sorry you are going through so much, your health, the theraphist ( seriously, what the hell just happened there??), the panic attack, the surgery, your mental health. And your grandmother.. I'm so so sorry for your loss. Moments like these I think life just throws everything it can on us in one go and just watches how we'll handle it.. You are so strong, I'm so happy you were able to distract yourself with the movie. You are right, it doesn't have to make sense to anyone else as long as it works for you. With so much going on at the moment, please don't forget yourself and small pleasant things you can do that make you happy. I also lost my last grandmother in 2022 on the very same day when war in Ukraine started. My country is so close to the conflict, so it was double the shock and I just felt numb for days. She also had dementia and it was so sad. I still have vivid memories of her and on some days I grieve so deeply like the death just happened, even years later. I'm thankfull for you sharing this video, even if it's hard. I hope it also helps you to reflect on yourself. Sending all the hugs and love
I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. I understand the relief of finding a loved one at rest. But I also understand the grief of the absence. You have a lot of your plate. Your therapist’s overreaction is disappointing. Many blessings to you dear Eirin. Praying your surgery is a resounding success. Happy to hear about the progress on your mother in law’s condition. Happy your fistula is healing. Grateful for you! 🫶🕊️💝
It must be hard to share all that has been happening lately, Eireen. I pray and hope that things ease and go well for you, as much as it is possible. God bless! ❤️🙏🏻❤️
I Wanted you to know that you have a beautiful way with your words. I wish i could be more like that. I am full of hate bitterness and hurt with the way my mom treats 2 of my girls. You give me strength to have grace and compassion for someone that Im having a hard time with. Your Amazing dear Eirin. Thankyou for sharing and being who you are. I wish you the very best with your sugery. I hope you can find a good loving and compassionate therapist. It pains my heart that you had a bad experience with someone who is supposed to help you. Sending you all my love until next time❤
Dearest Eirin Words or titles to disorders are just words. Don't get hung up on a set of words. I may or may not have a blood cancer, but medication is working and it doesn't matter what they call it... I feel better. I was also told a while back that I had heart failure and that turns out not to be the case. Honestly when I got a good report from the cardiologist I felt so much better. It was the words of a condition dragging me into a bad mental state. I have other health issues going on, but it is great to be here on earth. You are such a light and I am praying for you and sending you good energy from NYC. Sometimes there are no concrete answers in medicine and it can be so frustrating. I dislike not being completely in-the-know. So sorry for the loss of your grandmother. Stay positive as much as possible, pray and I'm sure you will have answers soon. All the best. Regards from Elizabeth in NYC.
@@eirinceciliegjedrem I was just thinking of you. Aside from your spirituality I just love the way you have the ability to push forward. I absolutely love the joy you get by decorating, especially during the holidays and your love of cooking. Your joy multiplies by spreading to people like me. You had many unfortunate incidents and a major life change. Yes, no one is sunny 100 percent of the time, but you seem to make it work. Thanks for sharing your life with us. Praying for you for October 6th and always. Thank you for taking time to respond to me. It is a bright spot for me. Regards from NYC. Elizabeth
Eirin wow you had a lot going on. You are very strong. Keep in mind it is ok not to be ok with all of the challenges around. Hoping that a calmer time awaits you. Bless your heart! Wishing you all the best for the surgery and recovery!
Bless your heart ♥️ Eirin for all you are going through. I am so sorry for the loss of your Grandma. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers 🙏🏻 ♥️🙏🏻♥️🙏🏻
You are having to cope with a lot of difficult things all at once, and you have my sincere sympathies. May your grandmother rest in peace. If we don't see you before your surgery, I pray that it will go well.
❤ Sending loving hugs of strength and shared continued good faith. Honoring the joy you choose to keep exchanging as you evolve with us by your side, thanks !
Eirin, you will always be an inspiration to me, no matter what you are going through, or what direction you go. You give me the will to fight my tiny battles with the same grace that you do. Thank you
Thank you so much for sharing, Eirin . I truly appreciate you showing up here and I'm so sorry things have been as heavy and unrelenting as they have. SO excited to hear your sore is healing and you're able to be up and about. I pray a therapist who is an incredible match and understands the honor that it would be to partner with you on your mental health journey comes into the picture soon! ❤❤❤
Good afternoon Eirin, I wanted to watch your video yesterday but I was very sick. I've been thinking what you have been through since a long time.... Today I've watched your video and when you said "I don't know where to begin with", I knew there were bad news! My deepest condolences to you and your family. About your health issues...Omg what can I say? I'm so sorry you have to deal with so many problems. I feel sad and can't help thinking that life is unfair. But I admire you! You are so brave. You still have the strength to smile and laugh. You're such an Angel 😊. When you said the kind of movie you have watched, you definitely made me smile and even if I understand you, that's not the kind of movie I would watched or I would stay hidden under my bed lol 😅😱. But the most important thing is that it could help you. As usual I wish you the very best. Rescheduling a surgery is stressful but use this "free" time to rest of watch some more movies. Eat and drink what you like and what you are allowed to of course. Listen to relaxing music or the one that makes your heart and mind feel better. I send you hugs and love 💕🤗💙💐
Grandmothers hold such a special place in our lives-I am so sorry the loss of yours. Heartbreaking for sure. Praying your surgery goes smoothly. Seems like you have so much to deal with all at once. But…there is always hope. Always.
My sincerest condolances with regard to your grandmother. There is a lot of up and down weirdness to having lost someone who you had a complicated and difficult relationship with. Your panic attack makes perfect sense to me at that point with them treating you like the girl with the plague. And omg I so so understand wanting to watch a horror movie and laugh thru it. I’ve been following true crime and though they are some sad stories, the people talking about it having some snarky attitude and yet all on the same page is great commaraderie in the face of a dark topic. You know I just so so get the darker things being comforting. People keep telling me not to focus so hard on my true crimes and yet it’s very comforting in some weird way in the discussion and people who are there a lot of them have been thru some bad stuff also. This bacteria thing on top of your surgery coming up and your grandmother passing away and mixed feelings plus feeling a lot of anxiety plaguing you and your mom being sick and on and on. You are really being handed much too much. They say life doesn’t give you more than you are strong but I believe no life can hand you a shit ton of stuff more than anyone can cope with. That’s why we have diagnoses like depression, anxiety and maladaptive behaviors in the face of situations that are above our capacity like ptsd being diagnosed from being overly traumatized and essentially injured by the situation. Just having ptsd on top off all you are coping with is like omg Eiren. I get it and when things pile so high it’s just ridiculous, to do something like a horror movie just feels like a funny and perfect sanity move and also a pivot from sheer overwhelm to maybe just stopping and saying, .”I need some qualify of life and right now or I’m going to implode.” Candy, popcorn and movies is a very smart pivot and that you were self aware enough to make that call means to me that you are way lightyear a ahead of most therapists and you will maybe learn from your new person but you will teach them a mega ton about life experiences and coping skills also. I will be around and if you want to text with me just message me and I will send you my number. I know that you are tired and probably just need rest and to enjoy and get some just normal routine and check out in all the ways you can. I wish I could come bring you a visit with Ellie and a buddy to watch another movie or share my crazy true crime interests and bring you some fall leaves and drag you (and me) out to your patio area to enjoy the cool and nice autumn air before it gets cold. And also I wish you can just slow down, take this stuff as it comes and if you need to slow down on any of your medical plans or even pause, it’s okay to do so. I think you are more than ready for the surgery but also scared so all hard things will feel harder right now bc you are on edge. I feel like your surgery will be a great success and believe in you and your will to live and your good medical team that they will have your back through all of this. I hope Steinar will keep us posted someplace and soon you will be able to be beyond this rough season and recovering and maybe decorating with your caregiver for Christmas. Maybe plan a date when you think you will have recovered to go to the garden center to see the Xmas lights and decor. And even if you don’t make it there, you can order yourself some cool lights and decor for your holidays and do up your room and bathroom super cute and festive. I’m very relieved for you about your grandmother and hope your whole family are okay and dealing ok with the news. Your mom is good to come update you and it sounds like you just needed to focus on your own self care when she came to tell you the news and you just didn’t have one more ounce of room to take on one more issue. I’m sure you will help provide your grandmother a nice funeral and focus on the positives and slowly find peace and process what harm she’s caused you and possibly your whole family. I am sending big giant hugs in only the non painful areas and maybe a couple of true crime links and some popcorn and Candy in virtual. Lol You know that at some point there are only 24 hours in a day and not all of them can be so intense feeling like the panic attack feeling or the I’m going to faint feeling which is just as bad. One thing that helps me a little when I get maxed out and freeze and get all tense and can’t really deal is using vagal nerve exercises. I will send you the links here or in email. You are going to kick butt on the bacteria, the surgery prep and having a new counselor will help you so much to just hold your hand through this mess. My own therapist who is the best one I’ve ever had has held my hand mentally thru some really rough times. I’m currently going thru a bunch of challenges of finding a decent and trustworthy caregiver who fits what I need and having to accept care by people who aren’t at all ideal and some even very sketchy. I instantly thought of you and wanted to ask you how you went about interviewing people and also how you work with correcting issues and things after they are hired. I am finding it si difficult and you are like the caregiver guru. I think you could write a book on how to find people and how to self advocate and make a life with the assistance of a caregiver. Anyways for tonight just cheering for you that you saw a horror movie and are laughing about it bc I SOOO get that vibe myself. Some people are like why on earth would you want to watch something so dark and like you I’m like well it defo gives my life some perspective. Lol Hang in there girlie and scream into a pillow and tell the world to F off when you have had enough and they won’t help you remove your freaking sweater. Geez get some gloves, gown and mask if ya have to people but freaking just help a girl remove her freaking sweater. I worked as a rec therapy aide back in my working days and cared for clients with MRSA and other infections and I’m still here to tell the tale. I think people are a little more sensitive to anything potentially contagious after the pandemic so do give them a little grace for being scared of getting sick also but like I still want to yell at them to go gown up and help Eiren get comfy while dealing with what’s hard enough which is a mental health intake where you have to unload your whole “résumé” of history and issues. It’s always so draining to me when I need a new provider no matter if it’s medical or mental health. Mental is harder bc it feels like you have to unpack so much at once. I wish intakes could be several sessions before they start working with treatment. Sending you some autumn sunshine, fall leaves and a f the world I need to see a movie A+ for smart coping. Much love and I hope things can settle down a little before the surgery. Sounds like it’s going to be full out but do advocate for yourself when needing to have breaks from the mental load of family stuff. ❤ and ☮️ plus a little popcorn 🍿 and candy 🍬 and scary movies. Xo
I think that therapist needs a therapist! Does she think when she’s out in the public she not being exposed to the UNKNOWN? She knew what she was dealing with since she had your information. It was your jacket, not your pants! I’m glad you had a movie time! I think we should all plan a fun time and treat ourselves! Life is tough! So happy for you “mom”, that is great news!🥰
Sometimes when it rains it pours. I don't mean the rain we get outside. You are so strong but I knew when it seems like puts more on a person than they can take. I'm so very sorry to hear of your grandmother's passing. May she rest in peace. Praying your surgery goes very good and you have a speedy recovery. Hang in there. I'm sure everything will get better soon.
Dear Eirin! Goodness gracious! All of that at once? You poor angel! I totally understand your fears and concerns. I, like you, also need to be on top of my game. This was definitely a trying period, and I can tell you're doing the best you can. Be proud of the many steps you've already taken. I realize there is much more going on and think crying is a good release. Losing someone is rough. Nothing prepares you for that. I think your surgery concerns loom. I had a hysterectomy at 55. It's not a very complex surgery. Maybe you have other ongoing health issues. You should be fine. And having a mental health situation does not make you less of a person. I have a few myself! Used to have depression,now it's gone. Used to have awful panic, but my doctors hit on the right combo of pills. I haven't had an awful panic attack since 2015. Sometimes, when we stress we add some weight to the plate. I see you as going through a normal reaction to surgery and grief. If you're feeling down right now, it's okay too. Chin up! I'm glad you decided to seek a therapist. I've had some of those in my life too! Nothing wrong with that. I'm sure the totality of your accident and aftermath with SCI is not easy. It can't be. A therapist may help you work out those issues too. I trust you put yourself in the best medical care available and will be praying for you, that all this will pass quickly and well. I have the idea that you should feel better after surgery. Keep us posted and stay in the light!❤🙏🙏🙏🌹
So glad you were able to escape to the movie. You. End to do whatever is best for your mental health, this is especially important prior to surgery. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Appreciate the update.
Oh my gosh, dear girl! You have had so much going on! I’m glad you took a little time out for yourself. That is always so much needed! I will be praying for your surgery on October 1. I am so sorry about your grandmother’s passing. No matter how long we have, it is still always hard. Great news about your mom though! Many prayers and much love to your beautiful soul!❤😊❤
You are navigating your challenges really well Erin and it’s ok to feel overwhelmed and to feel you just need ‘to get out’. Your grandma is at peace and I am so relieved for her. Dementia is a terrible disease, to watch a loved one fade away so very slowly is desperately hard and very sad to watch. Your ‘mom’ and ‘mummy’ are appear to be coping with their challenges too. I wish you a good outcome with your surgery on 1 October. Remember hope is a blend of desire and confidence, hang on to it to get you through. Good luck to ‘Team Erin’ god bless you and your family ❤️
Oh my dear. I am so sorry you’re going through this. My deepest condolences to you and your family. 🙏 I’ve struggled with mental health issues anxiety and panic attacks most of my life, I’m now 57 yrs old. So I completely understand how you feel. That therapist was wrong in her reaction in such unprofessional way, but please know thats on her not you. We’re human and sometimes mess things up. Regarding your grandmother, I pray you find a space where you can work thru your emotions and feelings at your own pace. Know that there’s no right or wrong way to feel. Just allow yourself to be and to feel.. be kind to yourself give yourself love. I know it sounds weird but sometimes we forget. 😊 Also trust the moment, trust the process and most importantly trust God in those moments. You’re not alone. Sending you much love and positive energy. ❤
Oh, Eirin, I'm so sorry about all of this happening to you! You have my sympathies on the loss of your grandmother. Please give yourself some time to grieve. I am a counselor, and I don't think that therapist acted professionally at all. That never should have happened, and I'm very sorry that you had to go through that. It may be better for you to find a new therapist, as that kind of situation damages a therapist-patient relationship, even in ways you do not realize. I'm happy to hear that your "Mom" is responding well to her cancer treatment. I'm praying for you, and will be thinking of you as you have your surgery. I have had that surgery for endometriosis, and it was a life-changer for me!! Please keep us updated. I'm sending hugs, prayers, and well wishes for you from OK, USA! Thank you so much for sharing with us. I am in awe of your courage, strength, and positive light!! God bless you, my precious friend!
Hi Eirin, it's lovely to see you. I'm so sorry about your Grandmother. Only 2 weeks till your operation, I will be thinking about you. That's good news about your pressure sore. Sending love and hugs. Xx❤️🇬🇧
I was just thinking about you recently and wondering how you are doing, so glad to hear from you. You are dealing with so many issues at the same time, the burden must feel heavy. My heartfelt condolences in the loss of your dear grandmother, I’m glad she is at peace now. I’m praying your surgery goes well, and happy to hear that the fistula seems to be better. Lots of hugs!
Eirin I can only send my hopes of strength and affection to you. Depression is a persistent disease. It makes it challenging to see the bright in the world. It also affects you physically. You always seem to find the light, I know you have the love & support from your amazing family and those of us who have grown to love you around the world. I am so very sorry about your grandmother. May you always feel her presence in your heart. Blessed be Eirin, I know you will be ok. Body & soul. ❤🫂🫂
Gosh Doll, I don’t know what to say. I am sorry for all that you have recently been through. I will be thinking of you and wishing you and Steinar the best. I believe your grandmother is at peace and I wish you peace as well.
You are in my daily prayers. ✝️🙏❤️🌷. You are handling this onslaught of stress like a champ just by facing each day. There is light at the end of the tunnel. We are with you. 👍 🌸🌺🌻🪻🌹🪴🇺🇸
Wow😢 ❣️I'm praying for you Eirin. Your therapist reaction was ridiculous and awful. I do not think I would have be able to stay, I mean this is someone you are trusting with the depth of your emotions and you are so vulnerable already in doing this. I would not have been able to share with her anything further from that point. She just took a virtual sword and put it through your heart❣️❣️❣️ I am sorry upon the passing of your grandmother, she is in my prayers🕯️🌹🙏 Sharing with us these updates must have been particularly difficult but, truly appreciated and very courageous. I am going to Our Lady's shrine and will light some candles and put your intentions for hope and healing in the prayer book by the Pieta Statue. So much Love, Admiration and Respect for you Most Beautiful child of God Eirin💜✝️💜💝💝💝💝💝🕊️
Eirin, I love your vlogs. You are truly a light in this world. I don't comment much but reading all the other comments, I try to give them a heart when they are saying words I wish to have. In yoga, they say we are "practicing" yoga as we will never reach our full potential but are learning always. While listening to all of your health care concerns, a light bulb went on as all of medicine is "practicing". They don't know everything. That's why they will try a medicine or a procedure to see if it works and then try something different. It's all practice. Please don't be discouraged. You and yours are in my prayers. ❤
Eirin, it's so nice to see you again! I'm sorry for what you have gone through with you and your family, Grieve as you need to and remember that there are lots of folks like me who are supporting you in any way we can.
Eirin, you sure have been through a lot recently. Look forward to your surgery and hope it sorts out some of your health problems. Anxiety is horrible, but there are ways to cope, I know that horrible feeling of your chest tighten, etc. Hope you can get some great answers for your physical and mental health. Praying for you. ❤️
Thank you for sharing and being so honest with us. I'm in a very scary medical situation, and I am also trying to find hope. ❤ the fear within me is causing horrible panic attacks. I love to watch scary movies to get my mind off my own nightmare. ❤
My goodness! Life just keeps throwing you curve balls. What's truly remarkable is you keep moving forward doing what needs to be done. Even if it seems strange to someone else do what you need to do for yourself. I think all of us need to disconnect from time to time. Whether be a scary movie, reading, going to a park, etc. My disconnect is taking a long drive in the country. I just feel myself relax as I ride along looking at nature.
My condolences regarding your grandma, She is at peace. You are a brilliant woman empowered by your IQ and ability to understand your circumstances, navigate and cope. You are in control of your own destiny! I had the same surgery that you are scheduled to have for adenomyosis and it changed my life literally overnight and I am confident you will enjoy similar relief. Stay strong, keep your eye on the horizon, as they did me, I believe hormones play a big part of the struggle. Prayers and virtual hugs for my friend on the other side of the world. I hope you can decorate again this year for 10/31.☮🌸❤
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Hi beautiful souls! Thank you so much for being here and for your wonderful comments - I truly appreciate them ❤️ I try to read and answer as many as possible, and know that I’m just so thankful that you take from your valuable time to do so ❤️ Love & light!
I have been a nurse for 25+ years, and looked after many patients with ESBL. It is nothing to really worry about unless you are very unwell and immunocompromised. Hence why they isolate you in the hospital. A lot of people can have it in the community and it never affects them as they have a healthy immune system. You honestly have nothing to worry about ❤
Thank you 🙏 ❤️❤️
You have been strong for so long, give yourself the space for grief, rest and healing. It really can feel impossible, take care to fully enjoy those few moments of happiness as they come. WIshing you more peaceful times ahead
Thank you so much - I will 🥰❤️
Dear sweet Eirin, I am sorry you lost your grandmother. You certainly have been given more than your share of crosses to carry. We are all praying for you! Thank you for your courage! God bless and keep you in His compassionate care! ❤️🙏
I don’t like the therapists reaction, all it would have taken was to wash hands after removing your jacket, no fuss. I really hope your surgery goes well ❤️ I’m trying to find a positive for you at this difficult time, I think what a blessing to have a grandparent as an adult. I hardly knew any of mine as they all died when I was a child and i wish I had known them and their love. As you say she is a peace and not suffering anymore and she was surrounded by love when she passed ❤
Thank you ❤️❤️
Wow, you've had a lot going on! Thanks for the update. Love and prayers. 😊💖🙏
You have the kindest heart, constantly thinking of others when you are having such a hard time. You are a beautiful soul!
Sending loving hugs for a safe surgery and speedy healing. My deepest condolences for the loss of your Grandmother. 🌸💖🌸💖🌸💖
Thank you 🌸💖
Hello! I love when you post, it’s like getting a phone call from a friend you haven’t heard from for a bit! 💗 I’m sorry to hear about your Grandmother. I’ll be sending you lots of good vibes and prayers for your surgery 🙏🏻 you are definitely a light in this world ✨ keep shining! 🌟
HOW can you possibly remain so collected and calm and coherent with all this happening to you?
I have the greatest respect for you 😮!
I would be raging, crying, yelling, sobbing uncontrollably, crumbling with depression, hiding under the sofa, scratching out the eyes of people passing me....
I have a mind to hit a few people you mentioned right in the face 😠😡. I know, I know this is not very christian, but I feel I want to be angry for your sake.
Sending you ❤❤❤
Thank you SO much for this update 😊
...I'm still furious about how certain people treat you 😠
So glad about mum and mommy ❤ love with bouts of depression - and anger🤭 - from Austria
Oh sweetie, I am doing all those things behind the camera - I am completely overwhelmed and would like to break a couple of things myself 😅❤️ It’s okay to feel all the feelings 🥰 Thank you for your support and love 💕
Praying God wraps you in His healing, comforting and peace-giving care. I send my condolences to you and your family at this diffigult time of loss. You are an amazing young woman! It's a joy to share your burdens and pray for you. 💕😘🙏 Sending a gentle hug which I wish I could deliver person. 💗
I applaud you for finding the thing that would calm you and distract you like seeing a movie when you were having such a bad day, sounds like a very healthy form of self-care, I’m so sorry about the loss of your grandmother, the most difficult loss I’ve ever had was at age 35 when I lost my Mom to cancer, and here I am 19 years later and I still miss her but my heart ache has healed and as a Christian I believe I will see her again someday in heaven so that brings me peace, sending you love & prayers for continued healing, not just the grieving but your health, too. I just love your honesty & openness, you’re such a positive light in what can be such a dark world sometimes.
I’m so sorry you’re going through all this, Eirin. Setbacks are so hard to deal with when you’re all psyched up for something. I hope things start to improve for you. I’m sorry about your grandma. My husband died at 63 with Parkinson’s and associated dementia. It’s a beast. Off topic, but I have to say how much I admire your ability to speak perfect English. It’s astonishing! God bless these next couple of weeks as you get ready for your operation. Love from the UK. X
Hello beautiful lady. I adore you, your strength and fortitude. Losing a close family member is so hard. I lost my mom when I was 24. I’m 68 and I miss her every day. Life sucks. But life goes on. Look, feel and see the beauty of this wonderful world. Life is so much more than our inner struggles. You have made me smile today. Thank you
I lost my maternal grandmother, the only one I was close to in my life, just before my birthday in 2012. She was diagnosed with cancer and lived less than a year after her diagnosis.
I am so sorry for your loss of your grandmother. 💔 It is heartbreaking to lose someone you love even when you have had time to prepare for it.
Wishing you the best of luck on your surgery and health ❤️ With love from Louisiana in the USA
So sorry for your loss 🤍 Thank you ❤️❤️
Dearest Eirin, Oh my dear young lady❤…you are dealing with so much right now. My heart goes out to you on the death of your beloved Grandmother. COVID is clearly not done with our planet yet. And now you are dealing with damned E Coli infection! Plus your laparoscopic surgery delayed and rescheduled. You certainly have a lot of stress. You are my hero sweet woman. Please, please know that many, many people are thinking and praying for you❤ Much love from a Norwegian descendent in Minnesota. It will all work itself out with time. Grief as you know is hard and takes very long time….
Elrin, I have PTSD too..abandonment, loss too in this life of suffering, this life of DUKKHA...being all alone out here and getting scared and anxiety it has helped me to listen to dharma talks by Ajahn Sona and other monks (no commercials, YEAH)...seems to help calm me and with all YOU endure it is no wonder you feel as you do....and YOU ARE FAR MORE BRAVE than I being on youtube creating such sweet videos for all of us...XO..from Florida...♥♥♥
I am praying for you and your family. Many blessings.
Sending you love, hugs and prayers. My cousin that I had the pleasure of being her caregiver for 16 months due to her having MD, Friederick Ataxia, in her own apartment, her health had gotten worse and needed to go into an assisted care at the age of 45. She is still alive and going day by day. It use to be life expectancy was 35 to 45. She is 54 but her disease has progressed. Unfortunately she does spend most of her time in bed. This darn COVID and everything else that has changed the way we have to live with our health, she keeps pretty positive. I am 68yo.
Thoughts and prayers to you.❤
My dear friend 🧡 I am so sorry for all you are going through, 😢 💔 praying for you all the time 🙏🙏🙏❤️
Everyone is complex .. wise words! Praying life will improve and better times ahead 🇨🇦 ❤
Oh, wow. I always appreciate your transparency, whether sharing struggles or joy. You are precious to your followers (friends), and it helps us know how to pray for you. 🙏🏻❤️
Also, I totally get your choice of movie. It's a great way to take a break from thinking about your troubles.
Hello my angel, sorry about grandma but she is better now. I will keep praying for you and that your surgery goes well. Sending love and hugs.
Thank you 🙏 ❤️
Oh bless. I send you love and healing ❤
Your thoughts about the complex feelings that come with receiving a new diagnosis are amazingly insightful. There is value from completing the puzzle (that feeling of oh! It all makes sense), but there can absolutely be downsides to making something official. I’m really passionate about exploring both sides of this because many groups of people seem to only value one half of these feelings.
Hi. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum to alzhiemers 8 years ago. It was a long drawn out heartbreaking time. I have trained myself to now focus on the happy memories before her illness. I know she is always with me. Your grandmother will be watching over you and giving you the strength to cope with all of your challenges. Sending prayers x
You're such a strong and brave woman and a wonderful light for this world. Send you love and light ✨❤️
That therapist is awful Erin u had soo much these few weeks u are soo sweet kind u deserve a kind therapist compassionate like ur husband
You have had a lot going on! You don't have to always be strong. Take all the time you need to grieve, rest, heal & process. Enjoy the happy moments when they come & love on Thor. :)
Bless you💕🙏 psalm 23 is my great comfort, as is the Lord's prayer in dark days. Keeping you in my prayers xxx
One of my favorites as well 🥹🤍✨
You are entitled to every each of one emotions you feel. You can be mad and sad at the same time, and you can feel hope and grief… it is human and the fact that you can discern your emotions just means that you have a deep connection with your inner self.
You can indulge in every emotion you feel right to the moment, as long as you need to elaborate them.
Forgive what you can let go and remember what you want to keep sturdy in your memory.
And one last thing… when my grandma was dying I was in another city and the first train to come home was in the morning… I went to the movies and watched a silly horror movie. For me it works, because I can “transfer” some of my real fear in the fear induced by the movie, and then I feel relieved when the movie ends, taking away a bit of my real fear and stress with them.
“The cabin in the woods” still make wonders for me 😅
Sending you a lot of love, wishing you the best ❤
Sending you kindness and calm. Remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. Thank you for being so open and giving people perspective. Wish you well😊
You will be free of the pain your grandmother inflicted. My stepmother was a monster to me. When she passed, I had all kinds of conflicted feelings, too. That was like 5 yrs ago. You go through a healing process. You will be OK. Xo❤
I appreciate you sharing this ❤️🥰
Ah sweetheart, I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother.......... She is at peace now, and we all struggle with mental health issues especially these days, just do the best you can and remember you did do your best! Stay strong and positive and I will of course continue with daily prayers for you!🙏
I'm so very sorry your struggling even more than usual m'lovely. Please don't forget there are no goodbyes in this life, it's just cheerio until we meet in the next...... you will absolutely see her again ❤
Oh my gosh, what a load of concerns you are going through and processing!! You must be so exhausted!! Watching a loved one go through dementia is very difficult as we are helpless. I lost my mother-in-law to Alzheimer’s. Not that cancer isn’t difficult, but I feel there is treatment which can be harsh but then when we see positive results from it there is some relief. (my sister has been going through cancer treatment, the treatment was very hard on her body, but she’s come through it and the cancer Tumors are nearly gone! Praise the Lord! ❤
It’s good that you were taking the actions necessary to improve your well-being physically and mentally! You’re in my continued prayers, hang in there you are an amazing person!
Eirin, I‘m very sorry for your loss. I know the conflicting emotions and ambivalence all too well. Let me just say from experience that it does get better. I‘m 59 and in a good place today. I still have triggers and panic attacks from time to time, but I‘ve learned to accept it. It’s a part of me and the less I try to fight it, the quicker it usually passes. I went to therapy for 8 years and it was hard work, but the voices in my head have quieted for the most part. I wish you all the best.
🙏❤️
Sending condolences from Ireland ☘️ .. sorry you're going through so much honey 😢. Some professionals, although intelligent have little common sense or compassion. With dementia I'm sure you felt that you had already lost part of your Grandmother, it's such a shame. Cry, grieve, scream, but come back to us with your smile and positivity. We will be waiting patiently for your next update which will probably be after your surgery so I am sending love and prayers it all goes well. By the way, your autumn decorations are lovely.❤❤
Thank you ❤️🥰🍁
So sorry you are going through a difficult time. Sending you my thoughts and prayers. One day at a time.
So glad you are, for the most part anyway, ok. I was getting worried. It is ok to feel sad and relieved at the same time. Take care my young and beautiful friend. 🙏❤️ Ohio USA
My deepest condolences for the loss of your Grandmother. May she rest in Peace. I so glad that they have your surgery scheduled. Will be saying some extra prayers for you. I also pray that you find a therapist that is helpful and connects with you ❤
Eirin!! It's as if you come to mind and then within days you pop up on my feed. So glad to see you!! However, I am so sorry for all you are going through. I can totally understand your mixed emotions, I have been there too. Sending you positive vibes, hugs, and lots of love! Don't feel afraid to share what you want to share..you never know if someone is dealing with the same and sharing it can help not only you process it but, it may help others as well as yourself not feel alone. Don't stay away for to long Eirin!!.. Incase we don't see you prior to your surgery hoping all goes well and as planned... may it bring about only solutions and answers to all you have been living through health wise. -with love!
Thank you ❤️❤️
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma and your health problems....Will say prayers for you...I'm so sorry you have to go thru all this ❤❤❤
It's so nice to hear from you. I am so sorry for your loss and all the other issues you are and have gone through. You are a very strong person, and I know God will get you through all of this.
Hello My Beautiful Soul..
Im so sorry to hear of the loss of your Grandmother. I can't believe with all you've been through and your continued struggles you still manage to shine your light onto others. You are truly a brave and amazing woman. Please take care and know you are loved by all here. Sending light, love ❤️ and healing prayers your way. 🙏
God Bless.🙌
P.S. Perhaps you should consider seeking out another therapist. You certainly deserve someone who is more understanding and compassionate.
Bless you Eirin! 🙌🏼 May the Lord bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you.
Hi Eirin, my condolences for the passing of your dear gran. 🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️It sounded to definitely have been her time darling. May she rest in peace 🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️..... Life is certainly no easy path for you darling. How rotton that you now have the infection to contend with. I pray that will resolve itself soon. You handle your difficult times with such good grace and strength. Naturally there will be times of anxiety and low points mentally. That's because you are human and not a machine! You radiate a beautiful spirit and I believe you inspire so many people to keep fighting during hard times. Sending you love and look after yourself ❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗🤗🙏🙏🙏💐💐💐💐💐💐
🙏🥰❤️
So great to see you up in a chair Eirin! This is wonderful!
Eirin, I am so sorry for the loss of your Grandmother. My thoughts and prayers are with you during these difficult days. Please stay strong as this surgery day approaches. It will be behind you before you know it and you can move forward. Good luck sweetie!
So sorry for your devastating loss. God bless you and prayers for a good surgery and recovery.❤🙏
Eirin,
God bless you! I think you are an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing your life with us. You are an inspiration to me.
I so look forward to your posts and get excited when I see a new one. I am sending you a warm hug for all that you’re going through and positive wishes for a smooth upcoming surgery. You deserve to have some peace, joy, and improved health. Plz keep us posted ❤❤
Eirin, I'm so sorry you are going through so much, your health, the theraphist ( seriously, what the hell just happened there??), the panic attack, the surgery, your mental health. And your grandmother.. I'm so so sorry for your loss. Moments like these I think life just throws everything it can on us in one go and just watches how we'll handle it.. You are so strong, I'm so happy you were able to distract yourself with the movie. You are right, it doesn't have to make sense to anyone else as long as it works for you. With so much going on at the moment, please don't forget yourself and small pleasant things you can do that make you happy.
I also lost my last grandmother in 2022 on the very same day when war in Ukraine started. My country is so close to the conflict, so it was double the shock and I just felt numb for days. She also had dementia and it was so sad. I still have vivid memories of her and on some days I grieve so deeply like the death just happened, even years later.
I'm thankfull for you sharing this video, even if it's hard. I hope it also helps you to reflect on yourself. Sending all the hugs and love
Thank you ❤️❤️ So sorry for your loss 😔🤍
Beautiful soul 💖
I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. I understand the relief of finding a loved one at rest. But I also understand the grief of the absence. You have a lot of your plate. Your therapist’s overreaction is disappointing. Many blessings to you dear Eirin. Praying your surgery is a resounding success. Happy to hear about the progress on your mother in law’s condition. Happy your fistula is healing. Grateful for you! 🫶🕊️💝
It must be hard to share all that has been happening lately, Eireen. I pray and hope that things ease and go well for you, as much as it is possible. God bless! ❤️🙏🏻❤️
💖💖Thank you for sharing your struggles and your joys too. Beautiful soul sending you much💖💖💖
I Wanted you to know that you have a beautiful way with your words. I wish i could be more like that. I am full of hate bitterness and hurt with the way my mom treats 2 of my girls. You give me strength to have grace and compassion for someone that Im having a hard time with. Your Amazing dear Eirin. Thankyou for sharing and being who you are. I wish you the very best with your sugery. I hope you can find a good loving and compassionate therapist. It pains my heart that you had a bad experience with someone who is supposed to help you. Sending you all my love until next time❤
Thank you - you are amazing too ❤️❤️
Dearest Eirin
Words or titles to disorders are just words. Don't get hung up on a set of words. I may or may not have a blood cancer, but medication is working and it doesn't matter what they call it... I feel better. I was also told a while back that I had heart failure and that turns out not to be the case. Honestly when I got a good report from the cardiologist I felt so much better. It was the words of a condition dragging me into a bad mental state. I have other health issues going on, but it is great to be here on earth. You are such a light and I am praying for you and sending you good energy from NYC. Sometimes there are no concrete answers in medicine and it can be so frustrating. I dislike not being completely in-the-know. So sorry for the loss of your grandmother. Stay positive as much as possible, pray and I'm sure you will have answers soon. All the best. Regards from Elizabeth in NYC.
🙏❤🙏
Thank you, Elizabeth, and the same to you ❤️🥰
@@eirinceciliegjedrem I was just thinking of you. Aside from your spirituality I just love the way you have the ability to push forward. I absolutely love the joy you get by decorating, especially during the holidays and your love of cooking. Your joy multiplies by spreading to people like me. You had many unfortunate incidents and a major life change. Yes, no one is sunny 100 percent of the time, but you seem to make it work. Thanks for sharing your life with us. Praying for you for October 6th and always. Thank you for taking time to respond to me. It is a bright spot for me. Regards from NYC. Elizabeth
Eirin wow you had a lot going on. You are very strong. Keep in mind it is ok not to be ok with all of the challenges around. Hoping that a calmer time awaits you. Bless your heart! Wishing you all the best for the surgery and recovery!
Bless your heart ♥️ Eirin for all you are going through.
I am so sorry for the loss of your Grandma.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers 🙏🏻 ♥️🙏🏻♥️🙏🏻
❤️
You are having to cope with a lot of difficult things all at once, and you have my sincere sympathies. May your grandmother rest in peace. If we don't see you before your surgery, I pray that it will go well.
Thank you ❤️
❤ Sending loving hugs of strength and shared continued good faith. Honoring the joy you choose to keep exchanging as you evolve with us by your side, thanks !
Eirin, you will always be an inspiration to me, no matter what you are going through, or what direction you go. You give me the will to fight my tiny battles with the same grace that you do. Thank you
Thank you and likewise ❤️❤️
Thank you so much for sharing, Eirin . I truly appreciate you showing up here and I'm so sorry things have been as heavy and unrelenting as they have. SO excited to hear your sore is healing and you're able to be up and about. I pray a therapist who is an incredible match and understands the honor that it would be to partner with you on your mental health journey comes into the picture soon! ❤❤❤
Good afternoon Eirin, I wanted to watch your video yesterday but I was very sick. I've been thinking what you have been through since a long time.... Today I've watched your video and when you said "I don't know where to begin with", I knew there were bad news!
My deepest condolences to you and your family.
About your health issues...Omg what can I say? I'm so sorry you have to deal with so many problems. I feel sad and can't help thinking that life is unfair. But I admire you!
You are so brave. You still have the strength to smile and laugh. You're such an Angel 😊. When you said the kind of movie you have watched, you definitely made me smile and even if I understand you, that's not the kind of movie I would watched or I would stay hidden under my bed lol 😅😱.
But the most important thing is that it could help you. As usual I wish you the very best. Rescheduling a surgery is stressful but use this "free" time to rest of watch some more movies. Eat and drink what you like and what you are allowed to of course. Listen to relaxing music or the one that makes your heart and mind feel better.
I send you hugs and love 💕🤗💙💐
Grandmothers hold such a special place in our lives-I am so sorry the loss of yours. Heartbreaking for sure. Praying your surgery goes smoothly. Seems like you have so much to deal with all at once. But…there is always hope. Always.
My sincerest condolances with regard to your grandmother. There is a lot of up and down weirdness to having lost someone who you had a complicated and difficult relationship with.
Your panic attack makes perfect sense to me at that point with them treating you like the girl with the plague.
And omg I so so understand wanting to watch a horror movie and laugh thru it. I’ve been following true crime and though they are some sad stories, the people talking about it having some snarky attitude and yet all on the same page is great commaraderie in the face of a dark topic.
You know I just so so get the darker things being comforting. People keep telling me not to focus so hard on my true crimes and yet it’s very comforting in some weird way in the discussion and people who are there a lot of them have been thru some bad stuff also.
This bacteria thing on top of your surgery coming up and your grandmother passing away and mixed feelings plus feeling a lot of anxiety plaguing you and your mom being sick and on and on. You are really being handed much too much. They say life doesn’t give you more than you are strong but I believe no life can hand you a shit ton of stuff more than anyone can cope with. That’s why we have diagnoses like depression, anxiety and maladaptive behaviors in the face of situations that are above our capacity like ptsd being diagnosed from being overly traumatized and essentially injured by the situation.
Just having ptsd on top off all you are coping with is like omg Eiren. I get it and when things pile so high it’s just ridiculous, to do something like a horror movie just feels like a funny and perfect sanity move and also a pivot from sheer overwhelm to maybe just stopping and saying, .”I need some qualify of life and right now or I’m going to implode.”
Candy, popcorn and movies is a very smart pivot and that you were self aware enough to make that call means to me that you are way lightyear a ahead of most therapists and you will maybe learn from your new person but you will teach them a mega ton about life experiences and coping skills also.
I will be around and if you want to text with me just message me and I will send you my number. I know that you are tired and probably just need rest and to enjoy and get some just normal routine and check out in all the ways you can. I wish I could come bring you a visit with Ellie and a buddy to watch another movie or share my crazy true crime interests and bring you some fall leaves and drag you (and me) out to your patio area to enjoy the cool and nice autumn air before it gets cold.
And also I wish you can just slow down, take this stuff as it comes and if you need to slow down on any of your medical plans or even pause, it’s okay to do so. I think you are more than ready for the surgery but also scared so all hard things will feel harder right now bc you are on edge.
I feel like your surgery will be a great success and believe in you and your will to live and your good medical team that they will have your back through all of this. I hope Steinar will keep us posted someplace and soon you will be able to be beyond this rough season and recovering and maybe decorating with your caregiver for Christmas. Maybe plan a date when you think you will have recovered to go to the garden center to see the Xmas lights and decor. And even if you don’t make it there, you can order yourself some cool lights and decor for your holidays and do up your room and bathroom super cute and festive.
I’m very relieved for you about your grandmother and hope your whole family are okay and dealing ok with the news. Your mom is good to come update you and it sounds like you just needed to focus on your own self care when she came to tell you the news and you just didn’t have one more ounce of room to take on one more issue. I’m sure you will help provide your grandmother a nice funeral and focus on the positives and slowly find peace and process what harm she’s caused you and possibly your whole family.
I am sending big giant hugs in only the non painful areas and maybe a couple of true crime links and some popcorn and Candy in virtual. Lol
You know that at some point there are only 24 hours in a day and not all of them can be so intense feeling like the panic attack feeling or the I’m going to faint feeling which is just as bad.
One thing that helps me a little when I get maxed out and freeze and get all tense and can’t really deal is using vagal nerve exercises. I will send you the links here or in email.
You are going to kick butt on the bacteria, the surgery prep and having a new counselor will help you so much to just hold your hand through this mess. My own therapist who is the best one I’ve ever had has held my hand mentally thru some really rough times.
I’m currently going thru a bunch of challenges of finding a decent and trustworthy caregiver who fits what I need and having to accept care by people who aren’t at all ideal and some even very sketchy.
I instantly thought of you and wanted to ask you how you went about interviewing people and also how you work with correcting issues and things after they are hired. I am finding it si difficult and you are like the caregiver guru. I think you could write a book on how to find people and how to self advocate and make a life with the assistance of a caregiver.
Anyways for tonight just cheering for you that you saw a horror movie and are laughing about it bc I SOOO get that vibe myself.
Some people are like why on earth would you want to watch something so dark and like you I’m like well it defo gives my life some perspective. Lol
Hang in there girlie and scream into a pillow and tell the world to F off when you have had enough and they won’t help you remove your freaking sweater. Geez get some gloves, gown and mask if ya have to people but freaking just help a girl remove her freaking sweater. I worked as a rec therapy aide back in my working days and cared for clients with MRSA and other infections and I’m still here to tell the tale. I think people are a little more sensitive to anything potentially contagious after the pandemic so do give them a little grace for being scared of getting sick also but like I still want to yell at them to go gown up and help Eiren get comfy while dealing with what’s hard enough which is a mental health intake where you have to unload your whole “résumé” of history and issues. It’s always so draining to me when I need a new provider no matter if it’s medical or mental health. Mental is harder bc it feels like you have to unpack so much at once. I wish intakes could be several sessions before they start working with treatment.
Sending you some autumn sunshine, fall leaves and a f the world I need to see a movie A+ for smart coping.
Much love and I hope things can settle down a little before the surgery. Sounds like it’s going to be full out but do advocate for yourself when needing to have breaks from the mental load of family stuff.
❤ and ☮️ plus a little popcorn 🍿 and candy 🍬 and scary movies. Xo
Thank you for your support and lovely message as, Amy - I appreciate you so much 🥰❤️😍
I think that therapist needs a therapist! Does she think when she’s out in the public she not being exposed to the UNKNOWN? She knew what she was dealing with since she had your information. It was your jacket, not your pants! I’m glad you had a movie time! I think we should all plan a fun time and treat ourselves! Life is tough! So happy for you “mom”, that is great news!🥰
Thank you ❤️🌸
Sometimes when it rains it pours. I don't mean the rain we get outside. You are so strong but I knew when it seems like puts more on a person than they can take. I'm so very sorry to hear of your grandmother's passing. May she rest in peace. Praying your surgery goes very good and you have a speedy recovery. Hang in there. I'm sure everything will get better soon.
We use that expression too, so yeah, it truly does 😓 Thank you ❤️❤️
Dear Eirin! Goodness gracious! All of that at once? You poor angel! I totally understand your fears and concerns. I, like you, also need to be on top of my game. This was definitely a trying period, and I can tell you're doing the best you can. Be proud of the many steps you've already taken.
I realize there is much more going on and think crying is a good release. Losing someone is rough. Nothing prepares you for that.
I think your surgery concerns loom. I had a hysterectomy at 55. It's not a very complex surgery. Maybe you have other ongoing health issues. You should be fine.
And having a mental health situation does not make you less of a person. I have a few myself! Used to have depression,now it's gone. Used to have awful panic, but my doctors hit on the right combo of pills. I haven't had an awful panic attack since 2015.
Sometimes, when we stress we add some weight to the plate. I see you as going through a normal reaction to surgery and grief. If you're feeling down right now, it's okay too.
Chin up! I'm glad you decided to seek a therapist. I've had some of those in my life too! Nothing wrong with that. I'm sure the totality of your accident and aftermath with SCI is not easy. It can't be. A therapist may help you work out those issues too.
I trust you
put yourself in the best medical care available and will be praying for you, that all this will pass quickly and well. I have the idea that you should feel better after surgery.
Keep us posted and stay in the light!❤🙏🙏🙏🌹
So glad you were able to escape to the movie. You. End to do whatever is best for your mental health, this is especially important prior to surgery. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Appreciate the update.
Oh my gosh, dear girl! You have had so much going on! I’m glad you took a little time out for yourself. That is always so much needed! I will be praying for your surgery on October 1. I am so sorry about your grandmother’s passing. No matter how long we have, it is still always hard. Great news about your mom though! Many prayers and much love to your beautiful soul!❤😊❤
You are navigating your challenges really well Erin and it’s ok to feel overwhelmed and to feel you just need ‘to get out’. Your grandma is at peace and I am so relieved for her. Dementia is a terrible disease, to watch a loved one fade away so very slowly is desperately hard and very sad to watch. Your ‘mom’ and ‘mummy’ are appear to be coping with their challenges too. I wish you a good outcome with your surgery on 1 October. Remember hope is a blend of desire and confidence, hang on to it to get you through. Good luck to ‘Team Erin’ god bless you and your family ❤️
Thank you so much! 🥰❤️
Praying !!!!!
We love you and will keep you in our prayers!
Oh my dear. I am so sorry you’re going through this. My deepest condolences to you and your family. 🙏
I’ve struggled with mental health issues anxiety and panic attacks most of my life, I’m now 57 yrs old. So I completely understand how you feel.
That therapist was wrong in her reaction in such unprofessional way, but please know thats on her not you. We’re human and sometimes mess things up.
Regarding your grandmother, I pray you find a space where you can work thru your emotions and feelings at your own pace. Know that there’s no right or wrong way to feel. Just allow yourself to be and to feel.. be kind to yourself give yourself love. I know it sounds weird but sometimes we forget. 😊
Also trust the moment, trust the process and most importantly trust God in those moments. You’re not alone.
Sending you much love and positive energy. ❤
so good to hear from you! i wish you a good surgery soon! everything will go well and hope to get news shortly after 😇💙🌷🙌🏈
Prayers for calm, comfort and healing. I understand the overwhelming pressure you're under. ❤
❤️🤍🙏
Oh, Eirin, I'm so sorry about all of this happening to you! You have my sympathies on the loss of your grandmother. Please give yourself some time to grieve. I am a counselor, and I don't think that therapist acted professionally at all. That never should have happened, and I'm very sorry that you had to go through that. It may be better for you to find a new therapist, as that kind of situation damages a therapist-patient relationship, even in ways you do not realize. I'm happy to hear that your "Mom" is responding well to her cancer treatment. I'm praying for you, and will be thinking of you as you have your surgery. I have had that surgery for endometriosis, and it was a life-changer for me!! Please keep us updated. I'm sending hugs, prayers, and well wishes for you from OK, USA! Thank you so much for sharing with us. I am in awe of your courage, strength, and positive light!! God bless you, my precious friend!
Thank you so much for your caring kindness 🥰❤️
Hi Eirin, it's lovely to see you. I'm so sorry about your Grandmother. Only 2 weeks till your operation, I will be thinking about you. That's good news about your pressure sore. Sending love and hugs. Xx❤️🇬🇧
I was just thinking about you recently and wondering how you are doing, so glad to hear from you. You are dealing with so many issues at the same time, the burden must feel heavy. My heartfelt condolences in the loss of your dear grandmother, I’m glad she is at peace now. I’m praying your surgery goes well, and happy to hear that the fistula seems to be better. Lots of hugs!
Eirin
I can only send my hopes of strength and affection to you.
Depression is a persistent disease. It makes it challenging to see the bright in the world. It also affects you physically. You always seem to find the light, I know you have the love & support from your amazing family and those of us who have grown to love you around the world.
I am so very sorry about your grandmother.
May you always feel her presence in your heart.
Blessed be Eirin, I know you will be ok.
Body & soul. ❤🫂🫂
❤️❤️
Thank you for your honesty. You don’t always have to be positive, just be you. I look forward to all of your videos.♥️
Sending u and all you care about love & light and hope and peace.❤
Gosh Doll, I don’t know what to say. I am sorry for all that you have recently been through. I will be thinking of you and wishing you and Steinar the best. I believe your grandmother is at peace and I wish you peace as well.
You are in my daily prayers. ✝️🙏❤️🌷. You are handling this onslaught of stress like a champ just by facing each day. There is light at the end of the tunnel. We are with you. 👍
🌸🌺🌻🪻🌹🪴🇺🇸
💖✨💕🌸
Sending love and prayers your way. 🤗
🙏❤️
Wow😢 ❣️I'm praying for you Eirin.
Your therapist reaction was ridiculous and awful. I do not think I would have be able to stay, I mean this is someone you are trusting with the depth of your emotions and you are so vulnerable already in doing this. I would not have been able to share with her anything further from that point. She just took a virtual sword and put it through your heart❣️❣️❣️
I am sorry upon the passing of your grandmother, she is in my prayers🕯️🌹🙏
Sharing with us these updates must have been particularly difficult but, truly appreciated and very courageous. I am going to Our Lady's shrine and will light some candles and put your intentions for hope and healing in the prayer book by the Pieta Statue. So much Love, Admiration and Respect for you Most Beautiful child of God Eirin💜✝️💜💝💝💝💝💝🕊️
Thank you for your loving words and support 🙏🤍✨🕊️❤️
Best wishes for strength and healing ❤
Eirin, I love your vlogs. You are truly a light in this world. I don't comment much but reading all the other comments, I try to give them a heart when they are saying words I wish to have. In yoga, they say we are "practicing" yoga as we will never reach our full potential but are learning always. While listening to all of your health care concerns, a light bulb went on as all of medicine is "practicing". They don't know everything. That's why they will try a medicine or a procedure to see if it works and then try something different. It's all practice. Please don't be discouraged. You and yours are in my prayers. ❤
I like that - thank you ❤️🧘🏼♀️
Eirin, it's so nice to see you again! I'm sorry for what you have gone through with you and your family, Grieve as you need to and remember that there are lots of folks like me who are supporting you in any way we can.
🥰❤️
Eirin, you sure have been through a lot recently. Look forward to your surgery and hope it sorts out some of your health problems. Anxiety is horrible, but there are ways to cope, I know that horrible feeling of your chest tighten, etc. Hope you can get some great answers for your physical and mental health. Praying for you. ❤️
I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. So sorry for all you continue to have to deal with. Sending love.
Thank you for sharing and being so honest with us. I'm in a very scary medical situation, and I am also trying to find hope. ❤ the fear within me is causing horrible panic attacks. I love to watch scary movies to get my mind off my own nightmare. ❤
I hope you will find the hope you need, sweetheart ❤️❤️
And yay on not hitting bone for the fistula!! Here’s hoping it will heal some before the big surgery. 🎉🎉🎉 good news!
My prayers and thoughts are with you. Keep strong and don't give up. You are an amazing woman and an inspiration ❤❤
My goodness! Life just keeps throwing you curve balls. What's truly remarkable is you keep moving forward doing what needs to be done. Even if
it seems strange to someone else do what you need to do for yourself. I think all of us need to disconnect from time to time. Whether be a scary movie, reading, going to a park, etc. My disconnect is taking a long drive in the country. I just feel myself relax as I ride along looking at nature.
Sounds lovely 🌳🚗❤️
My condolences regarding your grandma, She is at peace. You are a brilliant woman empowered by your IQ and ability to understand your circumstances, navigate and cope. You are in control of your own destiny! I had the same surgery that you are scheduled to have for adenomyosis and it changed my life literally overnight and I am confident you will enjoy similar relief. Stay strong, keep your eye on the horizon, as they did me, I believe hormones play a big part of the struggle. Prayers and virtual hugs for my friend on the other side of the world. I hope you can decorate again this year for 10/31.☮🌸❤
Thank you, sweetheart ❤️🥰
I pray for you, Eirin. I send you a lot of love and wish you safe surgery and quick recovery. It is good to have update from your life,