He doesn’t want anyone to know he’s dating her or she’s the mother of his children. She was his side chick and secret and now she has subjected the kids to the same rejection. Sex and kids doesn’t keep a man.
The next story line will be that he marrys the other girl and she still be the side chick that will have more kids from him. She gotta know that's it's not to late to do better. Invest in yourself first!
I’m 4 minutes into this video & already done. Sis leave him alone, you deserve better & that’s not love. Seek God, heal & work on your 3 B’s. God got better for you, in the name of Jesus.
I’ve been listening and watching your videos over and over again, because I am having a very difficult time letting go a bad situation with the father of my only child too. As I was watching this video, I saw your golf bag, with your golf clubs/drivers. My ex started to play golf when I got pregnant. Then, he would only play golf other thank work. All his money went to golf courses and golf equipment, and golf outfits. By the time our baby girl was born, he had bought for her zero things. It really broke my heart. I feel that his golf addiction was a way to avoid us (our relationship and me and my baby). That way he excused himself for his lack of commitment and responsibilities towards us without looking bad. Because he used to tell me he was not cheating or he was not doing bad stuff, he was playing golf. And you know when you play golf you can spend from half a day or the entire day. Obviously he spent the entire day and weekend. I know you are not like that because you play golf. I know some of his friends who play golf, also love their family and they’re their priority. Not my case. I always knew he wasn’t into me from the beginning. I feel the lesson is for me. I just don’t know why it’s so hard for me to understand why I pursued a relationship with him so badly.
Some women are used to pain and suffering. They just love a man more than their selves. I’m sure he was like this before she got pregnant with the second child. Apparently it looks like she was the side chick .
I know first hand about dealing with a dead beat sperm donor. But when I tell you I sharpened my cut-off game with that joker! I didnt file for child support or none of that. I moved to the other side of town and didnt run into him again until my daughter was 23! Shes now 33 w/2 of my grandbabies and we are perfectly fine with him not wanting to be a part of it..Thank The Lord 🙏🏾
Soul ties are something else! She needs a good therapist, life coach, prayer and self-love. Run and get that child support. I hope that she takes what Tony has to say to heart and do what’s best for her and her babies. Thank you and be blessed.
Bless women bamboozled by men. It’s very sad so many women ignore the red flags. Ladies don’t date without intent to Marry! Don’t date and say yes we are going to have a baby without marriage happening first! This cycle will never be broken until women raise up their value. It makes me so sad I see this over and over with my friends and other women. The advise I say is if you see yourself as a wife men will too. Doesn’t mean to play house acting like a wife you need to be held to that standard and they need to follow through before any children are conceived. Breaks my heart for my fellow sisters out there. God bless you. Please raise up you value and accept nothing less! The men with poor intentions will fall away easily if you hold yourself to this high standard.
I never understood how men could have children & not help take care of them. The child didn’t ask to be here. If you didn’t want children then you should’ve keep your thang in your pants sir! I’ve learned from my mistakes and now understand the important of choosing a reliable, consistent & secure man. I think I’ll post a video about it on my channel.
Every time a man has sex he is not attempting to have a child. He is attempting sexual gratification. Women need to take responsibility for their bodies. Otherwise the woman will be left holding the bag. She will have children by someone that does not care about her and it is going to be more difficult to find a husband because of the child/children.
@@virginiawolf1708 they both need to take responsibility. If the man doesn't want the child before you lay down with any woman to have sex either wear a condom or go get a vasectomy if he doesn't want to wear one. Simple . Dont go around sleeping with woman than oh go abort or take off and abandon her and child. Take responsibility for your actions.
I understand it. The man was just using the woman for sexual gratification and did not care anything about her. He had no concern for her and has no concern for her child. Women need to wake up.
Leaving a person on READ is nothing. When you cutoff all access with absolutely no way of contact or communication, then you’re serious. He obviously isn’t going to take care of the kids. Move on and take care of yourself and your kids. Life still continues past this situation. I promise you life get better.
I feel really bad for this girl. She needs therapy and a big hug. We all make mistakes and so many girls go thru this same thing but suffer in silence 😥
"Don't none of this say he crazy, this says YOU crazy".. Whew! That's a word. We have to be accountable. That's how we keep from falling back into the same nasty cycles.
I wouldn't say she crazy. I would say she hoped or wanted to believe it would change or get better especially since they had kids. We dont know what things he was telling her to keep him hooked to him to believe it would change. The main thing now is for her to live and love herself and heal.
@@kristinakellogg1732 I get it, there's no judgment, we don't know the full extent of her situation but I think when he said that he meant shes crazy for how she has allowed him to treat her, regardless of what the guy says to her, you teach people how to treat you.
@@latishatmiller yes I understand that. To be honest with myself the relationship or should I say " situationship" I just walked from I showed him by my actions it was ok to disrespect me and curse at me .
And don't be being mean to them kids either because their daddy is the community dog. Don't ever say negative stuff about their rotten daddy to them. They didn't choose the fool, you did. When they get older they'll know who he really is. Do not be mean to them because you've been mean to yourself!! Period pooh
That’s so right. I deliberately never spoke bad to my son about his father. I always told him the positive things about his dad. I didn’t want my son to grow up an angry man with hate in his heart. I took responsibility for what I did wrong & I didn’t put everything on his dad. I’ll never forget my son saying to me “Mom I love.” I asked him , “Why do you love me”? He said, “ because you been with me all of my life”. I went in the bathroom and cried because that touched my heart so much. I never spoke bad about his dad but my 9 year old son at the time was able to see who was there for him.
Whew this gave me chills! Her bbd sounds just like mine. Remove yourself from the situation sis ASAP! I’ve been free of my toxic bbd for almost 4 years, that was the best decision I’ve ever made!
May I ask how you freed yourself. I just left a very similar situation and it's hard to face the reality that he simply didnt love me and yes I have children with him. I realized it wasnt going to change so I left and now healing myself.
@@kristinakellogg1732 -face the reality. Decide to love yourself. Pray for clarity to see the situation for what it really is and pray help to stay away, then actually love yourself enough to do it. Likely means you’ll have to change your whole circle. That’ll be hard but they will likely (somehow) feed the nonsense. Don’t be ugly to anyone in the process, just take your leave. At first it will all be hard but you’ll look back and be glad you did. Get yourself involved in ANYTHING you love that’s healthy for you mentally, physically or spiritually. Be busy refocusing. Be busy learning to love yourself and to learn what healthy and happy is. Stay away from other relationships for a long time. You have to heal in many ways. You can’t heal without time alone. It might be years and that’s okay. You can’t rush the process. Do not underestimate the time you need because you are lonely. You will continue to attract broken as long as you are broken yourself. Write down what you want in a relationship like Tony said. Write down how you want to see yourself change. Your relationship with yourself is more important that any other. Keep praying for help all the while. When you emerge whole again you’ll be a beautiful butterfly 🦋 yourself and to the world.
@@MargaritaReMix Thank you so much ! Your absolutely 1000% correct. I need to heal and take time with God. I have my children and going to take ome day at a time and refocus my priorities where they honestly needed to be before I made him everything practically which was wrong in the first place. Your so spot on about not being ugly either in the process of my healing because it only hurts myself . I want to be whole and I can't be if I walk around angry ..resentful..etc . Your words truly spoke to my heart . 🌸🌷🌺🌼
@@kristinakellogg1732 I prayed about it. One day I was just fed up after thinking about all of the wrong he has done to me. I started packing his things, threw them in trash bags, I sent him a text and told him to come get his stuff off of my porch. I was done. I knew I deserved better, it wasn’t easy I cried many days and many nights. I had to do what was best for me and my children. I had to love me more than I loved him. I’m not 100 percent myself yet but I’m getting there.
Wow Tony my daughter was watching this she had two kids she said everything you saying is directly to her I've been talkin to her and she was not listening today should come up on your video and she wake me up Toni Toni Toni you now she's listening
I am seriously considering to become a life couch for single moms... I had experienced that and I fixed it without fighting or stressing it. I CAN HELP!! 👋🏼👋🏼 I will need to get that certification, oh jesus!! 🤷🏼♀️😬
Sister, if you leave him and start to heal and build with God first, I promise, you will not recognize yourself and your life in a year! It will be different in a good way. It will be hard with kids, but he doesn't help you anyways! Hope everything works out for you! God bless her and her kids!
WHY on earth would someone allow themselves to be treated like this! 🤯 Poor thing, she is so lost she doesn’t even know what love is supposed to be. Smh I feel sad for the innocent kids brought into these toxic situations. I agree with Tony reading her; she has to get it together for herself and her children. 🙏🏾
This situation so typical. I've lost friends due to smiliar situations. I became the Friend they call on when they have the same problem with their no good baby daddy. Pregnant once again trying to make a decision if they should keep the child or abort it because he doesnt take care if the other child/children. Well clearly you were not taking care of your children as well if you took time out if your life to lay on your back and sleep with that man. I'm pro-life and was disgusted by the multiple abortions they had. One friend stop being my friend because I refused to give her advise. It was just going to be the same as the last time. Another one stop being my friend because she wanted a child by her man knowing he was messing around with another woman. However, she was the "main chick" so she believed that having his child would make him want to stop cheating and marry her. She tried that with the last baby daddy and it didnt work. So, what would make this any different? She told me I was just mad because I didn't have a man 😂😂... Ok..... sure....🤷🏾♀️
If you ask most women in this situation this question: besides the fact that he's your kids' father, and besides the fact that you have been with him for a long time, why do you want to be with him? Most of the time, they don't have an answer because these are usually the reasons.
The "He got you sending emails with no periods" remark just took me out!! 🤣🤦🏾♀️😆🤭 She truly does need to sever all ties with him, redirect her attention, energy, & time to becoming her own best friend as well as a better role model for her kids. 🙏🏽
Hello, right on time For my lunch break...I grabbed my headphones(purse) and put my lunch sign up...and ran for the break room. Oh yeah, be blessed and oh I am buying the TH-cam course today.
This really was a sad letter. Be mindful if you date better you marry better, if you marry better you family better, if you family better you parent better, if you parent better you community better. DF
Sisters, God says, “Flee fornication.” Tony says, “Stay off yo back.” The nightshirt with Tony’s quote is on the way!!!! I’m praying that it helps. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I love what you said Tony. A lot of us have zero accountability so when karma comes back around we’re looking for someone to blame. I myself had to realize this and now I’m a better person.
None of this is even remotely close to me or anything I’ve ever experience but somehow I feel like I need to get my life together after watching this video 😭😅
Sis gather alllll your strength, collect them kids and move on. If you need supervised visits to avoid interacting with him, do that. If it's all about the kids he'll have no issues. The relationship will rob you of everything great and leave you miserable and bitter in the end.
Is it bad the title already had me rolling? I can’t wait to get home and see Tony’s reaction to the email. He is a comedian in addition to being a coach.
That's probably she listened but didn't take any of what he saying seriously! Treating them as a form of entertainment, when that deadbeat man, who is nothing but a disgrace to the male specie', wreck her soul and treat her like a dog. Take what Tony is saying, read our comments, and move on with your life! He may be a comedian, but the best way to let learning sticks, is to make it fun! That's why nursery rhymes are mainly 'sing songs'.
He texts: “ . . .” She says, “That means I’m gonna miss three periods in a row because I’m pregnant with his third child. He telling me he wants to get me pregnant.” 🤣🤣🤣 Proof that woman hear what they want and not what he is saying. Tony’s interpretations of women are spot on.
"He's treating you like the gas coming out of his booty." Completely thoughtless about you! Brother Tony is absolutely right! When you learn to love yourself, your price goes up and you won't fall for dirtbag creeps like this dude.
It's time for everyone to be responsible for yourself, and rebuild your life to what you want it to look like. Like Tony says quit messing with all this foolery. Lord help us all!
Seriously, Bless Tony. There's so many layers to this. I like to think I have done some things right in my life, but I still fell into my own level of lack of self love, low standards and toxic relationship. When you can see a bit of yourself in these women's stories, it's very humbling.
There is a wonderful exercise she can do where, for 30 days (at least) she wakes up and looks at herself in the mirror; in her eyes and tell herself "[name] i love you". Also Journaling. Everyday write down 3 things you love about yourself and 1 thing (or more) that you are thankful for. Seems simple but it works wonders.
I’m so glad I left , I ended up pregnant.. this man switch up on me like no other …. He used to call me check on me , call me .. be affectionate….. soon as I got pregnant he mistreated me so bad ( never put his hands on me) … but he wasn’t supportive, told me I was making stuff up in my head ( when I told him I was sick ) … accused me of cheating …🥴🥴threatened to send my explicit pics when I told him I had to study .. it was horrible .. I LEFT and blocked him on everything.. I take full responsibility of my actions .. I should’ve been more careful.. I don’t believe in abortion so I kept my baby .. I’m 4 months away from graduating from nursing school.. I’m doing great! And so excited about being a mom ..Ladies child or not never let a man play you like that ! It hurts yes but we deserve better !! This ain’t it ! Like he said imma let him reach out to me through mail 🙌🏾you said it !! You’re absolutely right you gotta love yourself first
Tony have you thought about reading & answering these on live? That way we can donate to you, and then there can be the live chat. You deserve compensation for these letters lol!
Truth, he is not thinking about her, and she is not thinking bout her kids. This helped me a lot. Thank you for the realness. Every time me and my kids father falls out I get a bad report from the teacher.
Sis leave him pray that GOD 🙏 will sever the soulties between the two of you, I suggest having a co-parenting relationship with him only. You deserve better!! Concentrate on being a better version of yourself, knowing your WORTH and loving your self. Blessings to you and your children 🙏🙏🙏
Tony, I am forever grateful for the work you are doing! I’ve listened to you non-stop for one year, and you’ve renewed my mind, in every way relationally. This is truly God’s work! I vow to live in alignment with these messages and affirm them in every woman I meet.
Sis I feel the exact same. He has saved me from a boatload of what would have been potentially toxic situations. I'm so glad for big brother Tony. I'm now an evangelist of the grown woman message to my fellow women!! May God help us to teach and model the principles well to other women!
I typically do not comment . However after 6 minutes into the video I realize it’s just a lack of SELF LOVE !!! A lot of US women just have to find it ! But once we DO ,,, we are unstoppable. When you love yourself you won’t tolerate ANYTHING that is beneath you 💕💕💕Love is key 💕💋
You are to Love yourself the way Christ loves you. You have to know that you are a King’s kid and you deserve the best. The attributes of God is how you are to truly love yourself. Not through the lens of sinful people or your sinful lens, be blessed and thank you Tony for the game.
From his actions I would say he doesn’t love you, he doesn’t respect you, and I don’t think he even likes you. And by you allowing this foolery, I’m not sure you love yourself. 😔
Sis, you can love someone without being with them. My mom always told me to love from a distance and this is what this sister should do. Why continue to waste time, when he’s showing you exactly what he is and how he feel about you? We as women put up with and allow so much crap in our lives.. Baby girl, know and learn your self worth.. Take time and analyze your life and situation.. Ask God to guide you and bring clarity in your life
I couldn't agree with you more. I was also In a very same situation. I say was because I realized I needed to love myself and my children more than " him" and have self respect and say no more empty promises.
Lawd.....this man hates you and hisself.....never let a man treat you this way......you TEACH people how to treat you....he will never change....so you have to make the change.....leave him before night 🙏
What should you do you are beautiful queen love yourself enough to leave him alone completely think about your children get yourself out of this mess you are stronger than you think my queen
I agreed with every single word of this video, even the small section of tough love. It should have been more because what we need to realize is that we are the sole party responsible for the state of our lives at any given moment. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Wake up from the fairytale world and get real with your life and that of your children! Make grown woman choices and decisions! Point blank periOD, as TG says! Nothing is going to magically change. You have to do what you need to do to have the life that you want to have. And the suggestion to write down what you expect from your relationship, as off the wall as it sounds to some of us, it is a brilliant idea!
Tonnnnnyyyyyy 😂😂😂😂😂😂 not the Mrs toes. Yesss 👸🏽. I’ve been listening and watching all the videos annnnnd completed the academy courses and Opened my eyes drastically.
Without trying to OFFEND any lady for that matter, but this is why I don't want to have children with just any man. These SOUL-TIES ARE ON A ANOTHER LEVEL. PLUS TWO BEAUTIFUL BOYS ARE INVOLVED IN THIS
Tony you are definitely anointed and appointed for this type of ministry. Thank you for using the wisdom that God has giving you to share with us. God bless you and your beautiful wife and family.
Preach Oh God Thank you for this message I just fwd this to a few people I have been thru this and it’s a waste of time and energy to live this way Thank you Mr. Gaskins and Mrs. Gaskins
I was with a friend taking her kid out for her bday. Took her to lunch and movies, the whole time, I was left alone with her kid; because her mom was on the phone with a grown boy the whole time. From the car ride , lunch, movie, and afterwards she was on the phone with a dude she knew was cheating on her and doing drugs on her child’s birthday.
Convict her sis and leave her clean alone.. you should have dropped her off over his house.. we need to stop condoning this behavior as friends and stop being associated with it.. PERIODT! She obviously don't respect or appreciate you as a friend because clearly she don't respect herself.. You owe her nothing!
Unfortunately, the life this young lady is living is very common. The same is true for the children's father. So many of our young adults grew up without being RAISED. They repeat what they observed... unhealthy relationships and a life barely lived. We gotta break this cycle.
Emotional abuse all day. Honey, bye! Seek God all day and enjoy that having kiddos is a sacrificial honor. He has nothing to offer you or those children, until he can seek God and grow up. Don't degrade your self worth. You are seeking something to love; love yourself. Sometimes we think we love someone but there is nothing to love there. God bless, and know your worth.
Tony, I’ve watched enough of your videos to know where men are coming from, what to expect in relationships and how to basically deal with men in the process. So now my only reason to listen is for the comedy! When I tell you this video had me weak is an understatement!🤣 Keep em coming and be blessed!😁❤️
Now Tony you had me cracking up laughing. Talking about how focused she was on contacting him. Your videos truly help me see what growth is needed in me.
Tony I left my ex & am staying gone literally because of you. No one else could convince me to leave him & actually not take him back but ur videos are life changing!!!! I’m gunu watch ur videos until I’m happily married for at least 30yrs😭😂
Tony this was good. You did what should have been done. Told her what it is and what it's going to be in the future if she continues. Especially about the children. I'm so passionate about raising children right. We HAVE to raise the kids correctly. And she has boys too and they're watching their daddy treat her like that? No ma'am. We have to do better. **On a lighter note: that water bottle scene was too funny 😂😂😂
A parent protects their child(ren), even if it's from the other parent........
Yes I 100% agree!
Absolutely! This is a mouthful 💜
Always
🙌🏽
🗣True🙌🏾
He doesn’t want anyone to know he’s dating her or she’s the mother of his children. She was his side chick and secret and now she has subjected the kids to the same rejection. Sex and kids doesn’t keep a man.
Thank you!!! I'm glad Im Not the only one who saw it smh
Right !!
On point!
When are we as women going to understand this ..
The next story line will be that he marrys the other girl and she still be the side chick that will have more kids from him. She gotta know that's it's not to late to do better. Invest in yourself first!
It's a shame how much we allow ourselves to become so attached to people that we know don't genuinely love us and want to treat us correctly.
I think almost everyone is guilty of that.
Going through this now. I'm so ashamed of myself
I’m 4 minutes into this video & already done. Sis leave him alone, you deserve better & that’s not love. Seek God, heal & work on your 3 B’s. God got better for you, in the name of Jesus.
Indeed! 🙌🏾🙌🏾💯
Yesssss... Say it again for the one's in the back!! 📢
Same 😫
"When you try to avoid the consequences of your actions, your life will always be miserable" now that's a word Tony! 💯💯💯
I’ve been listening and watching your videos over and over again, because I am having a very difficult time letting go a bad situation with the father of my only child too. As I was watching this video, I saw your golf bag, with your golf clubs/drivers. My ex started to play golf when I got pregnant. Then, he would only play golf other thank work. All his money went to golf courses and golf equipment, and golf outfits. By the time our baby girl was born, he had bought for her zero things. It really broke my heart. I feel that his golf addiction was a way to avoid us (our relationship and me and my baby). That way he excused himself for his lack of commitment and responsibilities towards us without looking bad. Because he used to tell me he was not cheating or he was not doing bad stuff, he was playing golf. And you know when you play golf you can spend from half a day or the entire day. Obviously he spent the entire day and weekend. I know you are not like that because you play golf. I know some of his friends who play golf, also love their family and they’re their priority. Not my case. I always knew he wasn’t into me from the beginning. I feel the lesson is for me. I just don’t know why it’s so hard for me to understand why I pursued a relationship with him so badly.
“Write out how you want a man to treat you.”
“Write how you want your relationship to function.” TG
He’s breaking her down, layers after layers after layers..
If it wasn’t him it would be someone else. She needs to fix herself and stop falling for it period. Typically a person can only do what you allow.
@@LadyAngela678 I agree wholeheartedly
Yup, TG went hard on this one. Every email is unique.
That’s not love, that’s self hate “ 100% truth. If you’re reading the comments, I wish you well on your healing journey, My heart goes out to you.
Some women are used to pain and suffering. They just love a man more than their selves. I’m sure he was like this before she got pregnant with the second child. Apparently it looks like she was the side chick .
Love does not factor in at all. To love another you must love yourself first. This is a case of people living below the animals.
Exactly 💯
I know first hand about dealing with a dead beat sperm donor. But when I tell you I sharpened my cut-off game with that joker! I didnt file for child support or none of that. I moved to the other side of town and didnt run into him again until my daughter was 23! Shes now 33 w/2 of my grandbabies and we are perfectly fine with him not wanting to be a part of it..Thank The Lord 🙏🏾
💯
Soul ties are something else! She needs a good therapist, life coach, prayer and self-love. Run and get that child support. I hope that she takes what Tony has to say to heart and do what’s best for her and her babies. Thank you and be blessed.
Bless women bamboozled by men. It’s very sad so many women ignore the red flags. Ladies don’t date without intent to Marry! Don’t date and say yes we are going to have a baby without marriage happening first! This cycle will never be broken until women raise up their value. It makes me so sad I see this over and over with my friends and other women. The advise I say is if you see yourself as a wife men will too. Doesn’t mean to play house acting like a wife you need to be held to that standard and they need to follow through before any children are conceived. Breaks my heart for my fellow sisters out there. God bless you. Please raise up you value and accept nothing less! The men with poor intentions will fall away easily if you hold yourself to this high standard.
💚💚💚 true and much appreciated comment !
Amen 💛
I will never understand why women choose to have a baby over , choosing to be married..make it make sense..
I can see being bamboozled once, but multiple abortions is a complete and total choice.. she will reap what she has sewn
Thanks for this comment 💜
I never understood how men could have children & not help take care of them. The child didn’t ask to be here. If you didn’t want children then you should’ve keep your thang in your pants sir! I’ve learned from my mistakes and now understand the important of choosing a reliable, consistent & secure man. I think I’ll post a video about it on my channel.
Every time a man has sex he is not attempting to have a child. He is attempting sexual gratification. Women need to take responsibility for their bodies. Otherwise the woman will be left holding the bag. She will have children by someone that does not care about her and it is going to be more difficult to find a husband because of the child/children.
@@virginiawolf1708 they both need to take responsibility. If the man doesn't want the child before you lay down with any woman to have sex either wear a condom or go get a vasectomy if he doesn't want to wear one. Simple . Dont go around sleeping with woman than oh go abort or take off and abandon her and child. Take responsibility for your actions.
@@kristinakellogg1732 I agree BUT the woman is going to be left holding the bag if she does not take care of her own body.
I hear ya 👍
I understand it. The man was just using the woman for sexual gratification and did not care anything about her. He had no concern for her and has no concern for her child. Women need to wake up.
Leaving a person on READ is nothing. When you cutoff all access with absolutely no way of contact or communication, then you’re serious. He obviously isn’t going to take care of the kids. Move on and take care of yourself and your kids. Life still continues past this situation. I promise you life get better.
I needed to hear this 🌸🌷🌺🌼
Girl right like that's some kind of flex.
I feel really bad for this girl. She needs therapy and a big hug. We all make mistakes and so many girls go thru this same thing but suffer in silence 😥
"Don't none of this say he crazy, this says YOU crazy".. Whew! That's a word. We have to be accountable. That's how we keep from falling back into the same nasty cycles.
I wouldn't say she crazy. I would say she hoped or wanted to believe it would change or get better especially since they had kids. We dont know what things he was telling her to keep him hooked to him to believe it would change. The main thing now is for her to live and love herself and heal.
@@kristinakellogg1732 I get it, there's no judgment, we don't know the full extent of her situation but I think when he said that he meant shes crazy for how she has allowed him to treat her, regardless of what the guy says to her, you teach people how to treat you.
@@latishatmiller yes I understand that. To be honest with myself the relationship or should I say " situationship" I just walked from I showed him by my actions it was ok to disrespect me and curse at me .
And don't be being mean to them kids either because their daddy is the community dog. Don't ever say negative stuff about their rotten daddy to them. They didn't choose the fool, you did. When they get older they'll know who he really is. Do not be mean to them because you've been mean to yourself!! Period pooh
That’s so right. I deliberately never spoke bad to my son about his father. I always told him the positive things about his dad. I didn’t want my son to grow up an angry man with hate in his heart. I took responsibility for what I did wrong & I didn’t put everything on his dad. I’ll never forget my son saying to me “Mom I love.” I asked him , “Why do you love me”? He said, “ because you been with me all of my life”. I went in the bathroom and cried because that touched my heart so much. I never spoke bad about his dad but my 9 year old son at the time was able to see who was there for him.
When Tony say all this 🤔I gatta rewind
But some mammies are just like this will hate the child(ren) because the daddy APOS!
Absolutely! Well said!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Preach
Whew this gave me chills! Her bbd sounds just like mine. Remove yourself from the situation sis ASAP! I’ve been free of my toxic bbd for almost 4 years, that was the best decision I’ve ever made!
May I ask how you freed yourself. I just left a very similar situation and it's hard to face the reality that he simply didnt love me and yes I have children with him. I realized it wasnt going to change so I left and now healing myself.
@@kristinakellogg1732 -face the reality. Decide to love yourself. Pray for clarity to see the situation for what it really is and pray help to stay away, then actually love yourself enough to do it. Likely means you’ll have to change your whole circle. That’ll be hard but they will likely (somehow) feed the nonsense. Don’t be ugly to anyone in the process, just take your leave. At first it will all be hard but you’ll look back and be glad you did. Get yourself involved in ANYTHING you love that’s healthy for you mentally, physically or spiritually. Be busy refocusing. Be busy learning to love yourself and to learn what healthy and happy is. Stay away from other relationships for a long time. You have to heal in many ways. You can’t heal without time alone. It might be years and that’s okay. You can’t rush the process. Do not underestimate the time you need because you are lonely. You will continue to attract broken as long as you are broken yourself. Write down what you want in a relationship like Tony said. Write down how you want to see yourself change. Your relationship with yourself is more important that any other. Keep praying for help all the while. When you emerge whole again you’ll be a beautiful butterfly 🦋 yourself and to the world.
@@Trailblazers323 Thank you so much for your comment. I appreciate it! 🌸🌷🌺🌼
@@MargaritaReMix Thank you so much ! Your absolutely 1000% correct. I need to heal and take time with God. I have my children and going to take ome day at a time and refocus my priorities where they honestly needed to be before I made him everything practically which was wrong in the first place. Your so spot on about not being ugly either in the process of my healing because it only hurts myself . I want to be whole and I can't be if I walk around angry ..resentful..etc . Your words truly spoke to my heart . 🌸🌷🌺🌼
@@kristinakellogg1732 I prayed about it. One day I was just fed up after thinking about all of the wrong he has done to me. I started packing his things, threw them in trash bags, I sent him a text and told him to come get his stuff off of my porch. I was done. I knew I deserved better, it wasn’t easy I cried many days and many nights. I had to do what was best for me and my children. I had to love me more than I loved him. I’m not 100 percent myself yet but I’m getting there.
Wow Tony my daughter was watching this she had two kids she said everything you saying is directly to her I've been talkin to her and she was not listening today should come up on your video and she wake me up Toni Toni Toni you now she's listening
Women have to ensure to heal their hearts before they date, otherwise they set themselves up for abuse and heartache. God heals all hearts! ❤️
I am seriously considering to become a life couch for single moms... I had experienced that and I fixed it without fighting or stressing it. I CAN HELP!! 👋🏼👋🏼 I will need to get that certification, oh jesus!! 🤷🏼♀️😬
😇👍
Love your willingness to help ☺️
Sister, if you leave him and start to heal and build with God first, I promise, you will not recognize yourself and your life in a year! It will be different in a good way. It will be hard with kids, but he doesn't help you anyways! Hope everything works out for you! God bless her and her kids!
WHY on earth would someone allow themselves to be treated like this! 🤯
Poor thing, she is so lost she doesn’t even know what love is supposed to be. Smh
I feel sad for the innocent kids brought into these toxic situations.
I agree with Tony reading her; she has to get it together for herself and her children. 🙏🏾
Tony I’m not about to play with you about this Guinness record 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I just want to hug her so bad.
This situation so typical. I've lost friends due to smiliar situations. I became the Friend they call on when they have the same problem with their no good baby daddy. Pregnant once again trying to make a decision if they should keep the child or abort it because he doesnt take care if the other child/children. Well clearly you were not taking care of your children as well if you took time out if your life to lay on your back and sleep with that man. I'm pro-life and was disgusted by the multiple abortions they had. One friend stop being my friend because I refused to give her advise. It was just going to be the same as the last time. Another one stop being my friend because she wanted a child by her man knowing he was messing around with another woman. However, she was the "main chick" so she believed that having his child would make him want to stop cheating and marry her. She tried that with the last baby daddy and it didnt work. So, what would make this any different? She told me I was just mad because I didn't have a man 😂😂... Ok..... sure....🤷🏾♀️
That's that demon being convicted that made her attack you for telling the truth.. tell her I'd rather be alone then looking like you right nah.. ✌🏾
😳
If you ask most women in this situation this question: besides the fact that he's your kids' father, and besides the fact that you have been with him for a long time, why do you want to be with him? Most of the time, they don't have an answer because these are usually the reasons.
The "He got you sending emails with no periods" remark just took me out!! 🤣🤦🏾♀️😆🤭 She truly does need to sever all ties with him, redirect her attention, energy, & time to becoming her own best friend as well as a better role model for her kids. 🙏🏽
Hello, right on time For my lunch break...I grabbed my headphones(purse) and put my lunch sign up...and ran for the break room. Oh yeah, be blessed and oh I am buying the TH-cam course today.
This really was a sad letter.
Be mindful if you date better you marry better, if you marry better you family better, if you family better you parent better, if you parent better you community better. DF
👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾
Sisters, God says, “Flee fornication.”
Tony says, “Stay off yo back.”
The nightshirt with Tony’s quote is on the way!!!!
I’m praying that it helps. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Am sure waiting on the t-shirts
cannot WAIT for that shirt!
Yes. " Stay off your back!" Been off mines 5 years. The best thing I could've ever done. 🤣
I can't wait for the shirt to hit.
I love what you said Tony. A lot of us have zero accountability so when karma comes back around we’re looking for someone to blame. I myself had to realize this and now I’m a better person.
None of this is even remotely close to me or anything I’ve ever experience but somehow I feel like I need to get my life together after watching this video 😭😅
Sis gather alllll your strength, collect them kids and move on. If you need supervised visits to avoid interacting with him, do that. If it's all about the kids he'll have no issues. The relationship will rob you of everything great and leave you miserable and bitter in the end.
Is it bad the title already had me rolling? I can’t wait to get home and see Tony’s reaction to the email. He is a comedian in addition to being a coach.
That's probably she listened but didn't take any of what he saying seriously! Treating them as a form of entertainment, when that deadbeat man, who is nothing but a disgrace to the male specie', wreck her soul and treat her like a dog. Take what Tony is saying, read our comments, and move on with your life! He may be a comedian, but the best way to let learning sticks, is to make it fun! That's why nursery rhymes are mainly 'sing songs'.
Wow a 1 and 2 year old . I feel so bad for her . This was a hard email. 😲 Hard lesson to learn.
He texts: “ . . .”
She says, “That means I’m gonna miss three periods in a row because I’m pregnant with his third child. He telling me he wants to get me pregnant.”
🤣🤣🤣
Proof that woman hear what they want and not what he is saying. Tony’s interpretations of women are spot on.
Exactly!
That part was too funny
I literally screamed
"He's treating you like the gas coming out of his booty." Completely thoughtless about you! Brother Tony is absolutely right! When you learn to love yourself, your price goes up and you won't fall for dirtbag creeps like this dude.
If that comment about being booty gas doesn't wake her up...then I don't know what will...smh....
It's time for everyone to be responsible for yourself, and rebuild your life to what you want it to look like. Like Tony says quit messing with all this foolery. Lord help us all!
Uncle Tony be typing.. ya hear me 🤣🤣
Seriously, Bless Tony. There's so many layers to this. I like to think I have done some things right in my life, but I still fell into my own level of lack of self love, low standards and toxic relationship. When you can see a bit of yourself in these women's stories, it's very humbling.
There is a wonderful exercise she can do where, for 30 days (at least) she wakes up and looks at herself in the mirror; in her eyes and tell herself "[name] i love you". Also Journaling. Everyday write down 3 things you love about yourself and 1 thing (or more) that you are thankful for. Seems simple but it works wonders.
Babydoll, gon and leave! He not about to change!
I’m so glad I left , I ended up pregnant.. this man switch up on me like no other …. He used to call me check on me , call me .. be affectionate….. soon as I got pregnant he mistreated me so bad ( never put his hands on me) … but he wasn’t supportive, told me I was making stuff up in my head ( when I told him I was sick ) … accused me of cheating …🥴🥴threatened to send my explicit pics when I told him I had to study .. it was horrible .. I LEFT and blocked him on everything.. I take full responsibility of my actions .. I should’ve been more careful.. I don’t believe in abortion so I kept my baby .. I’m 4 months away from graduating from nursing school.. I’m doing great! And so excited about being a mom ..Ladies child or not never let a man play you like that ! It hurts yes but we deserve better !! This ain’t it ! Like he said imma let him reach out to me through mail 🙌🏾you said it !! You’re absolutely right you gotta love yourself first
Tony have you thought about reading & answering these on live? That way we can donate to you, and then there can be the live chat. You deserve compensation for these letters lol!
TONYYYYY 😭😭😭😭 I was not suppose to be laughing but you make it so hard. 😩
Right
Wow this is sad. I went through something similar to this. Girl cut him off!!!!!!
Truth, he is not thinking about her, and she is not thinking bout her kids. This helped me a lot. Thank you for the realness. Every time me and my kids father falls out I get a bad report from the teacher.
Here and watching! This is bout to be good!🙌🏿
Man oh man. I don't have words today. This whole situation left me speechless.
Emails with no periods 😩 God give Tony strength. He could have sent you ...🙄
Let’s hear this word today!
Thank you so much for being here!
Sis leave him pray that GOD 🙏 will sever the soulties between the two of you, I suggest having a co-parenting relationship with him only. You deserve better!! Concentrate on being a better version of yourself, knowing your WORTH and loving your self. Blessings to you and your children 🙏🙏🙏
Sis needs to focus on herself and her children. Period.
Period. 👏🏻
Tony, I am forever grateful for the work you are doing! I’ve listened to you non-stop for one year, and you’ve renewed my mind, in every way relationally. This is truly God’s work! I vow to live in alignment with these messages and affirm them in every woman I meet.
100%
Sis I feel the exact same. He has saved me from a boatload of what would have been potentially toxic situations. I'm so glad for big brother Tony. I'm now an evangelist of the grown woman message to my fellow women!! May God help us to teach and model the principles well to other women!
Omg, "The Truth Don't Care Who Tell It"..Tony Gaskins! Tell It Dr.Tony! It's ugly & tight but it's Sho Nuff Right!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Oh, sis...😒, my heart hurts for you... Pleeeeze leave him alone.
Word of advice, UNFOLLOW EXES; always!
I typically do not comment . However after 6 minutes into the video I realize it’s just a lack of SELF LOVE !!! A lot of US women just have to find it ! But once we DO ,,, we are unstoppable. When you love yourself you won’t tolerate ANYTHING that is beneath you 💕💕💕Love is key 💕💋
You are to Love yourself the way Christ loves you. You have to know that you are a King’s kid and you deserve the best. The attributes of God is how you are to truly love yourself. Not through the lens of sinful people or your sinful lens, be blessed and thank you Tony for the game.
Hey Hey Tony! I be ready for talks with Tony 😁! Thank you!
She should also ask her mum and family's forgiveness for not listening to them in the first place.
Read her to filth, respectfully. It had to be done because this tough love was much needed.
From his actions I would say he doesn’t love you, he doesn’t respect you, and I don’t think he even likes you. And by you allowing this foolery, I’m not sure you love yourself. 😔
Sis, you can love someone without being with them. My mom always told me to love from a distance and this is what this sister should do. Why continue to waste time, when he’s showing you exactly what he is and how he feel about you? We as women put up with and allow so much crap in our lives.. Baby girl, know and learn your self worth.. Take time and analyze your life and situation.. Ask God to guide you and bring clarity in your life
I couldn't agree with you more. I was also In a very same situation. I say was because I realized I needed to love myself and my children more than " him" and have self respect and say no more empty promises.
Lawd.....this man hates you and hisself.....never let a man treat you this way......you TEACH people how to treat you....he will never change....so you have to make the change.....leave him before night 🙏
Mannnn Tony!! 😂😂🤣 these last few videos are out of control. You straight comedy 🤣😂
So thankful for your consistency!
What should you do you are beautiful queen love yourself enough to leave him alone completely think about your children get yourself out of this mess you are stronger than you think my queen
I agreed with every single word of this video, even the small section of tough love. It should have been more because what we need to realize is that we are the sole party responsible for the state of our lives at any given moment. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Wake up from the fairytale world and get real with your life and that of your children! Make grown woman choices and decisions! Point blank periOD, as TG says! Nothing is going to magically change. You have to do what you need to do to have the life that you want to have.
And the suggestion to write down what you expect from your relationship, as off the wall as it sounds to some of us, it is a brilliant idea!
Thank you Tony for all the time and energy you give to these emails💯💯💯❤️
Tonnnnnyyyyyy 😂😂😂😂😂😂 not the Mrs toes. Yesss 👸🏽.
I’ve been listening and watching all the videos annnnnd completed the academy courses and Opened my eyes drastically.
Thank you for speaking on different subjects. Now Uncle Tony!! This is needed!
We really need to stop normalizing abortions in our community. Thank you so much for going into detail about what it really means to get one.
Love yourself sis! Your Sons deserve it!!
Without trying to OFFEND any lady for that matter, but this is why I don't want to have children with just any man. These SOUL-TIES ARE ON A ANOTHER LEVEL. PLUS TWO BEAUTIFUL BOYS ARE INVOLVED IN THIS
Self Love ❤️
Protect your Heart ♥️
Tony you are definitely anointed and appointed for this type of ministry. Thank you for using the wisdom that God has giving you to share with us. God bless you and your beautiful wife and family.
This was good advice for her. Keep it up Tony you are doing God’s work!
Watching this on my lunch break and I’ll finish the rest when I get off. Let me listen to this
Preach Oh God Thank you for this message I just fwd this to a few people I have been thru this and it’s a waste of time and energy to live this way Thank you Mr. Gaskins and Mrs. Gaskins
I was with a friend taking her kid out for her bday. Took her to lunch and movies, the whole time, I was left alone with her kid; because her mom was on the phone with a grown boy the whole time. From the car ride , lunch, movie, and afterwards she was on the phone with a dude she knew was cheating on her and doing drugs on her child’s birthday.
We need to do better
Convict her sis and leave her clean alone.. you should have dropped her off over his house.. we need to stop condoning this behavior as friends and stop being associated with it.. PERIODT! She obviously don't respect or appreciate you as a friend because clearly she don't respect herself.. You owe her nothing!
@@DivaDivine88 Thank you
Unfortunately, the life this young lady is living is very common. The same is true for the children's father.
So many of our young adults grew up without being RAISED. They repeat what they observed... unhealthy relationships and a life barely lived.
We gotta break this cycle.
Gotta break it, Yes!
God bless you and your family!
Emotional abuse all day. Honey, bye! Seek God all day and enjoy that having kiddos is a sacrificial honor. He has nothing to offer you or those children, until he can seek God and grow up. Don't degrade your self worth. You are seeking something to love; love yourself. Sometimes we think we love someone but there is nothing to love there. God bless, and know your worth.
Amen to this! Very well said and so true
Tony, I’ve watched enough of your videos to know where men are coming from, what to expect in relationships and how to basically deal with men in the process. So now my only reason to listen is for the comedy! When I tell you this video had me weak is an understatement!🤣 Keep em coming and be blessed!😁❤️
Change your number, move and go about your business.he will never love you.
Agreed!
Wow I’m praying for her that’s sad I hope she finds happiness within herself and real love!!!!!
Thanks Tony, great message here!
Not sucking toessssss!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I see you brotha, high five ✋🏿
Brother Tony thank you for this amazing series of yours. Wow that was a good story and answer. Bless these children.
😂😂😂 on the spiritual Yoga. 😂😂 I love Tony Gaskins he makes my day!!
Now Tony you had me cracking up laughing. Talking about how focused she was on contacting him. Your videos truly help me see what growth is needed in me.
Good evening Tony. Love what you do. God bless you and your family🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🤗
TG read this letter up down, left and right. The scenario of the positive quality time with the babies at the park was eye watering and beautiful.
You gave excellent advice to the woman!!!
Tony I left my ex & am staying gone literally because of you. No one else could convince me to leave him & actually not take him back but ur videos are life changing!!!! I’m gunu watch ur videos until I’m happily married for at least 30yrs😭😂
Tony you really have a great way with words. 😁💯 Spot on advice as usual.
The word ain always pretty but necessary. May this unapologetic truth set those in need free.
Tony this was good. You did what should have been done. Told her what it is and what it's going to be in the future if she continues. Especially about the children. I'm so passionate about raising children right. We HAVE to raise the kids correctly. And she has boys too and they're watching their daddy treat her like that? No ma'am. We have to do better.
**On a lighter note: that water bottle scene was too funny 😂😂😂
I never wanted a letter to end any faster