How to Know You're in a Relationship With the Wrong Person

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.พ. 2025
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ความคิดเห็น •

  • @taylorlane6289
    @taylorlane6289 หลายเดือนก่อน +73

    I love how open she is during this. She doesn’t try to be perfect. Love her

    • @elmosworld6407
      @elmosworld6407 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

      She is just pretentious lol.. pretending to know everything

  • @DarleneJ.Shelton
    @DarleneJ.Shelton 10 วันที่ผ่านมา +71

    You’re a creative genius! Keep it up! I'm surrounded by memories of him, but it's time to let go. My heart aches as I erase the laughter, the adventures, and the quiet nights we shared. I lost myself in the relationship, and now I'm left with just tears and shattered dreams. Wishing him happiness, but the thought of moving on feels like a distant and daunting reality.

    • @DebraGCox
      @DebraGCox 10 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      My heart goes out to you. Remember to be kind to yourself as you heal.
      If you're open to it, I know a spiritual counselor who's helped many mend their broken relationships. Interested?

    • @DarleneJ.Shelton
      @DarleneJ.Shelton 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I'm interested! Who is this spiritual counselor, and how have they helped others? Please share more!

    • @DarleneJ.Shelton
      @DarleneJ.Shelton 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I'm interested! Who is this spiritual counselor, and how have they helped others? Please share more!

    • @DebraGCox
      @DebraGCox 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

      The spiritual counselor is a miracle worker! He has helped countless couples on the brink of breakup by identifying root causes and providing personalized solutions. His success rate is incredible! Father abulu, you should give it a try.

    • @DebraGCox
      @DebraGCox 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Fatherabulu, has incredible powers, and he can assist you.

  • @heyu123
    @heyu123 หลายเดือนก่อน +63

    She was being vulnerable in this interview. Which is hard being so transparent especially with so many people online who have a tendency of being critical. It’s a very eye opening interview. Thanks you for sharing this

  • @-NateTheGreat
    @-NateTheGreat หลายเดือนก่อน +56

    For the first time in memory I ended a relationship that I was not happy it. It felt incredibly liberating. The bonus is she agreed and it ended amicably.

  • @bonniejeancampbell3851
    @bonniejeancampbell3851 หลายเดือนก่อน +41

    I am in my 60's and i had to go through many years of heartache and pain before i learned my value.
    After many very abusive ( physically or emotionally ) relationships both long term and short term.... i realized how much my lack of self-worth was the problem because i was accepting behavior that a woman should never accept. I have not dated for about 2 years both because i needed time to grow my own life and also i moved to a very different place and went through many personal health issues. But i feel totally different and i am hopeful of meeting someone to spend my golden years with but my issues are dealt with and i am looking for friendship, someone i can trust, chemistry, common interests but also time with each others friends and our own friends. Love is a commitment for me and not just chemistry and we need to share values and standards.

    • @vanhoudtshoorn
      @vanhoudtshoorn 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      My experience is very similar to yours. I will be 60 in October and have been living my best times in life thus far

    • @heidij75
      @heidij75 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

  • @buddyneher9359
    @buddyneher9359 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +35

    15:33 "...accountability's the single most important thing to making any relationship work."
    53:56 "Anything that you don't deal with actually becomes a bigger force in your life."
    Thank you for introducing me to Jillian - can't wait to read her book. What a sane and balanced person she is!

  • @obiblooze5902
    @obiblooze5902 หลายเดือนก่อน +44

    Love Matthew's calm energy

  • @cookWithYuyu2024
    @cookWithYuyu2024 หลายเดือนก่อน +63

    When Matthew mentioned "it gets harder when people get older...", I didn't expect number 50s, 60s🤣. Cuz I grew up in an environment which keeps telling me that my love life would be totally over after 28 lol. Buddies, no matter what you've been through and how long you've been trying to find love, take break and enjoy your time. Be happy with yourself. That's the most important🤟

    • @RandomZeroGravity
      @RandomZeroGravity หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      It starts with building a good healthy habit and a very strong will of commitment. If there's a will, there's a way. Write it down and make that a life goal if people can't remember it as they get older, or their brain is degraded. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, is a good book to start with.

    • @mrdark9916
      @mrdark9916 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Lol keep telling yourself that.

    • @cookWithYuyu2024
      @cookWithYuyu2024 11 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @ incel? Keep all to yourself +1

    • @sazupupu
      @sazupupu 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Lol 28 is youngggg

  • @dk13462
    @dk13462 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +41

    9:32 _'My standard right now is if you cannot have a conversation with me about how you feel you don't get a ticket into my heart. You can struggle to convey yourself you can struggle to express yourself but at least we can communicate about it and you're not going to shut down'_

    • @christysdeals4u
      @christysdeals4u 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      the shut down is the worst :(

    • @lilianoliveira5027
      @lilianoliveira5027 24 วันที่ผ่านมา

      👏🏼

    • @sarahkercheval8964
      @sarahkercheval8964 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Ya. And she’s still single. 😂 men just don’t know how to get along. The marriages that “work” are the ones where the woman just refuses to talk about the problems or if she does it’s in a lighthearted manner like she’s joking. 🙃

  • @thecrazymuzician1
    @thecrazymuzician1 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

    She said that she KNEW that her parents were absolutely MISERABLE with each other. Imagine the damage this does to children when this kind of relationship is modeled for children.

  • @gayathrikumar5643
    @gayathrikumar5643 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    This podcast made me cry and feel shaken. Now that I am more aware of my healing and emotional wounds I understand that this is something I need to work on. Thank you Matthew and Jilian❤

    • @shauna2285
      @shauna2285 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      ❤ That's amazing..!
      I love personal growth ❤
      ❤ Wishing you love & luck throughout your journey ❤

  • @racc72
    @racc72 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    These two together? I'm in. I've learned so, so much from them. Very grateful.

    • @aliciafarrell678
      @aliciafarrell678 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Matthew Hussey, Jillian Turecki, and even a shout out to Dr Ramani - this was always going to be helpful, clear, compassionate, supportive insightful! Love the advice these experts in their field bring! Thank you

  • @BadItchBay88
    @BadItchBay88 หลายเดือนก่อน +33

    Am going through this at this moment. Am happy and healthy just learning to be happy-alone

    • @alexandrapiedrahita69
      @alexandrapiedrahita69 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I’m the same , I’m healing ❤️‍🩹 day by day , my therapist is listening this podcast everyday before to work and after work and after go off bed is incredible how is helping me to get through this pain 😢

  • @o.revi.
    @o.revi. หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    So basically, if a relationship is continually harmful and their is no room to breath and come to terms with each other is definitely Telling ❤

  • @carolinepostlethwaite4861
    @carolinepostlethwaite4861 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Beautiful interaction. Love how centred compassionate & kind you both are as you exchange. I so relate to this story as when my marriage ended I was a mess. Now I'm far more self responsible honest & real. I stopped making a man the hub of my existence & instead turned inward to the Truth of my being. I enjoy male companionship but not as self sacrifice.

  • @purplewaypodcast
    @purplewaypodcast หลายเดือนก่อน +24

    33:34 "keep playing house" vs "start building house". If you think about it, playing house is simple, as you don't have any boundaries or rules, you just play, But if someone wants to build a house, then rules and boundaries come with the difference it can STILL BE PLAYFUL.
    So it's important to understand if the person wants to "play house" or "build house" or even to ask yourself what do you want?

  • @blueskiesatx
    @blueskiesatx หลายเดือนก่อน +30

    I can like someone for their intellectual and emotional IQ, their creativity and drive but if he doesn’t ever make me laugh or if I am not at all physically attracted it’s a no go.

  • @BärbelK
    @BärbelK หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    That is the crucial point: If you cant talk about how you feel, there is now way to me (my heart). Had that over decades and tried and tried to find a way ….it ended in adultery by him. Never more….

  • @miz6229
    @miz6229 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    OMG!! This was me 2 weeks ago. My ex blindsided me with a break up for a second time for something I didn't know he was feeling about something I was doing. Luckily, I've worked on myself to know that being able to communicate well together is very important for a healthy marriage/relationship.

  • @mischiefmage
    @mischiefmage 3 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I loved listening to the story about her and her father. A lot of times we take after the parent we find the most difficult and don't even realize when their "bad" or "toxic" traits start showing up in our own lives until we have someone else mirror it back to us.

  • @sarahbladen3478
    @sarahbladen3478 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Love seeing you two together! Yes I completely agree with Jillian about the difference between lousy couples counselling and therapy (like Relational Life Therapy) that actually works ❤

  • @burningseaa795
    @burningseaa795 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    It's crazy how parallel Jilian's story is to mine. My parents hated each other, and my father was a covert narcissist. After some years of running away, I came back and truly expressed myself to my father openly and honestly and setting boundaries, I was able to heal a little more.

  • @ameliaetienne8521
    @ameliaetienne8521 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    No but seriously her book is amazing. I actually sat back perplexed a few times because I realized my pattern. That doesn’t excuse my partners behavior, that’s their prerogative, but I feel so awakened to the possibility that I can end this pattern myself, by myself, or with another.

  • @obiblooze5902
    @obiblooze5902 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I wasn't sure about her in the first 5 minutes, but after listening to the whole interview, wow. I really get where she's coming from. She's come out the other side stronger and wiser and able to give advice to the rest of us going through the same stuff. Thanks Matthew

    • @bindicat9070
      @bindicat9070 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I to wasn’t enjoying the first part of the interview
      But stuck with it and it then got more relatable.
      I get that we need to know a bit about her if we don’t know her.
      It got better especially when she asked Matthew if he agreed or did he want you to add his thoughts.

  • @sn0wsilver
    @sn0wsilver 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I started this interview knowing I have a lot of work to do within myself and trying my damn best to work on this new relationship I’m in ~ resistance grew before clicking but I’m so happy I just told myself “give it 2 minutes…”What a beautiful conversation. Thoughtful questions asked and incredible vulnerable insight from Jillian. Thank you both. ❤ Cheers to writing a new story, a new mindset in 2025!

  • @spelalunder8203
    @spelalunder8203 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    You both have such calming voices and are incredible conversationalists. Thank you for everything what you are doing ❤

  • @avriltorres6688
    @avriltorres6688 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Just caught myself nodding in agreement at several points of this video. Everything here has resonated with me deeply. Thank you so much for putting this out. ❤❤

  • @Oxaca73
    @Oxaca73 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I really enjoyed this. I'm in my 50's and never married. I was always told no one would ever love me. I found a lot of value in this program.

    • @christysdeals4u
      @christysdeals4u 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Awww. I am so sorry!! My parents said same thing. I just recently found my self-worth. I married someone that never loved me! I was a doormat for 20 years and finally filed divorce!

  • @RoxyVarley
    @RoxyVarley 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Thank you Matthew for questioning about someone reconnecting with a narcissistic father. The fact her father kept trying to reconnect and changed does not start like a full blown narcissist who would never take accountability.
    You do not need to reconnect with the parent who caused the trauma on order to heal the trauma. If anything it can leave you stuck for a lifetime.

  • @ayelettsadeek1298
    @ayelettsadeek1298 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Wow. You asked literally all the right questions. Excellent podcast episode🎉

  • @melissaannroushmslpc6089
    @melissaannroushmslpc6089 18 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I relate to this w my father. As he aged, he became more vulnerable. I had 2 years of being able to have a "daddy." Very healing, but wow, the pain of losing the other 75 years of connection...takes work!

  • @joannadeluna2837
    @joannadeluna2837 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +20

    I've heard you say to "choose the relationship that brings you peace". My question is what about the relationship that brings you peace but doesn't challenge you? The one that offers security and comfort but not intimacy and true connection? The one that is easy but not deep or playful? You mentioned the 10% death crack, I think this is it for me. It's the indescribable thing I knew was missing but didn't believe really existed. I thought it was only in books and movies, therefore I didn't put a lot of value on it. I thought that romantic connection was "fluff" I thought that chemistry and sparks eventually fizzle out so it's not that big of a deal that we didn't have it. I thought finding my partner physically attractive meant we could build on that connection. Ten years later I can sadly report that's not the case. I focused on all the fundamentals that made us compatible and ignored the romantic aspect that wasn't there. Stacked cement blocks are strong but without the mortar they won't be bonded. The mortar is in the intimate connection, vulnerability, and laughter. Relationships need both.

    • @christysdeals4u
      @christysdeals4u 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      I am in same boat! I realized through therapy I had no self esteem/self-worth when i married. Because I was SA when I was a teen.. I was used to not being loved correctly. I have been neglected/bread-crumbed for 20 years. I took care of him in all aspects but rec'd nothing but excuses (instead of love) and religious intimidation to stay because it's not his fault "he doesn't make the rules." In july he texted me he never loved me. He also lied he was a Christian to marry me as well (he did eventually become a "christian" but uses scripture to manipulate me).. so basically i signed a piece of paper to be someone's second mommy. :( I feel so used and betrayed... I genuinely put in the work..worked my butt off taking care of house, homeschooling kids.. even working part-time sometimes.. took care of HIS needs. I asked him to take care of my needs and he ignored or said no.. I was always last..basically did not exist!! I filed divorce...only now is he "trying".. ick!

  • @DebbieDavis-y9j
    @DebbieDavis-y9j 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Love this! So inspiring! My mind’s been consumed by the thought of him. It’s been 6months he left and the pain of loosing him feels like physical ache. The laughter the memories,and adventure sadly it’s all gone .i’ve tried to get my mind off him and it seems like the more I try, the more I keep thinking of him. How do people let go and move on ? Cause It’s been months and memories of my man are still fresh. I miss him so much.

    • @DebbieDavis-y9j
      @DebbieDavis-y9j 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

      A spiritual counselor? That sounds fascinating
      And how do I reach out to him .

    • @DebbieDavis-y9j
      @DebbieDavis-y9j 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Tnx for sharing that! I really appreciate your openness.

  • @samanehjafari1988
    @samanehjafari1988 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I was in a relationship with a guy who played house with me and then broke up with me, I wanted to try it because I thought it might lead to something serious, but he wanted just to have fun. However, I experienced this honeymoon phase and emotions and I realised I shouldn’t have entered the relationship in the first place and I should have challenged his intentions at first. I feel heartbroken still, but I wanted to thank you for this. It was very helpful ❤️

  • @ShopgirlNY182
    @ShopgirlNY182 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    That sounds like my past relationship. I was scared to ask for what I wanted / communicate my needs and my ex didn’t communicate because it suited him. The vicious anxious / avoidant attachment cycle but finally got off that carousel that went round and round with no one’s needs getting met

  • @maefults9875
    @maefults9875 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I loved her honesty. I liked hearing about her divorce. Helps to see the real person

  • @shrlyc
    @shrlyc 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I struggle a lot with my relationship with my parents. Just last yr I grew closer with my dad before he died in august of 2024. It’s always gonna be a roller coaster of grief but I’m glad I was able to tell my dad things that I was afraid he’d judge me on. Thank you Jillian for telling me that healing can still happen after death. ✨ it’s a hard journey to go thru (grief of a parent) cause I’m only starting to get my life together and my dad hasn’t seen what I can accomplish. He won’t even be able to walk me down the isle.

  • @lilianoliveira5027
    @lilianoliveira5027 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Thanks for sharing your story, it totally resonates! And also the couples therapy situation, also tried that and it failed miserably. The therapist didn’t help at all acting the same way you described! Myb a tough love approach would have worked, oh well. Lesson learned

  • @JeanBrink1971
    @JeanBrink1971 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Ohh man, this episode got to me! I'm on the other end ; my daughter has ghosted me for over 2 years now without any explanation. 🥺 It's a constant loss, since we were so close. I will never understand it, but I have to accept it and let her go. Luckily I still have my wonderful boys ❤️, but it hurts my heart that she left without a word....

  • @darliqo
    @darliqo หลายเดือนก่อน +73

    I’ve been there, stuck in a relationship that didn’t feel right. This book I found on Synfla opened my eyes with Secret #5 about losing baggage and keeping my standards high. It helped me realize I deserved better. Ladies, this book is like the cheat code I didn’t know I needed, don’t sleep on it. ❤

  • @yaelli4378
    @yaelli4378 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This chapter has resonated with me so much. I literally got teary. Thank you 🙏❤️

  • @ireefree2024
    @ireefree2024 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    We attract the unfinished business we had from childhood. If we had a bad childhood or at least somekind of being neglected we'll choose a partner with that traits. In my case I was like that. First, I avoided all kind of relationships (my parents are alcoholics) then I chased the bad guys. Finally I found my husband with that mindset that now everything should be fixed instead all of traume came up including depression. Then therapy and lot's of self-awareness. It was a long journey but real and calm love is really worth it all. In the end nobody will come and save and love us if we don't do it first with ourselves. As cheesy as it sounds but it's true.

  • @heidij75
    @heidij75 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I love this, and really appreciate hearing her perspective.

  • @dainonmachado
    @dainonmachado 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Very talented people having a true an open conversation. Thank you!

  • @tayebehshalmani6157
    @tayebehshalmani6157 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Jillian is my current fav relationship expert (together with Matthew ofc 😝)

  • @beebsyboo7030
    @beebsyboo7030 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    I love Jillian so much. She’s an incredible woman & I love her advice. Thank you for this interview, Matthew 🫶🏼

  • @silkandsandhealingandlove
    @silkandsandhealingandlove 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    100% agree with your counseling experience!! Not helpful in my experience. Your way is the right way!💪♥️

  • @baghashvili
    @baghashvili หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I really enjoyed this interview😊Thank you for being so vulnerable and real🙏

  • @racquelturner-vz5xu
    @racquelturner-vz5xu 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Hands down best guest you ever had.

  • @celyamoroso7748
    @celyamoroso7748 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    She's amazing, great talk!

  • @Erika-pq7ip
    @Erika-pq7ip หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Sooo relatable. Currently going thfough this grief of the 10%😭😭 it hurtd so much

  • @galina6707
    @galina6707 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Gorgeous conversation! Thank you so much guys!

  • @chotikaudomsit7668
    @chotikaudomsit7668 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

    Very related to her story. I’m 42 and I’m still single. Just broke up with a guy who I dated for almost a year. We was planning to move together, get marry. He the one who move very fast. Anyway, I Decided to ended after live together for a month and haft because I don’t feel right in this relationship. And now I’m dealing with me have the fear that I will not meet the one. I’m getting older . I lost a chance to have kid. I was think back and forth if I made the right decision to let him go. ? And still trying to put myself back together. And be positive. But it’s not that easy. 😢

    • @bellesebastian012
      @bellesebastian012 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Praying for you to be guided and comforted in this beautiful brave journey you are on 🙏🙏🏼🙏🏽💗💗💗

    • @Horacio_1980
      @Horacio_1980 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I got my kids with the wrong woman, stayed in the relationship for 11 years, you have time, just don't rush and take your time to know ppl

    • @Horacio_1980
      @Horacio_1980 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@bruhlickd talk to him and let him know that you love him, but that you need also time alone to process things, my last partner was a avoidant but what drove me nuts was the fact that she was unable to tell me her needs, also she prioritised her female friends over me, last thing was kissing one in the lips and thinking it wasn't a big deal, again comunication :)

    • @ireefree2024
      @ireefree2024 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      First is never too late. Second, what exactly felt wrong if I'm dare to asked you? Also if you feel something is too fast then communication is the key.

    • @katkat7241
      @katkat7241 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      I just go through a very similar experience. I couldn’t stay with him and so I let him go. But it hurts. Especially the fear of staying alone for the rest of my life because no one could ever stay with me. That idea comes from trauma and I‘ll work on that to become a more self-confident person. All the best for you❤️

  • @evanhiggins7298
    @evanhiggins7298 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    If you aren't feeling someone. Going on 5 dates is a lot!

    • @aguz916
      @aguz916 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      They said if you like someone's character and values, give it 5 dates if chemistry isn't "fireworks".

    • @aguz916
      @aguz916 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      But if you're absolutely not feeling a vibe with someone, why waste your time?

    • @evanhiggins7298
      @evanhiggins7298 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @aguz916 I understand. Values and characters important. If you aren't feeling a vibe then it's forcing it

    • @ireefree2024
      @ireefree2024 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      Because vibe or chemistry isn't a valid ground for a relationship. If you had trauma then chemistry is a sign of danger and not that you fit for each other. I had that and hadn't big chemistry with my husband at first. Why? Because he wasn't avoidant. So yes giving somebody a chance who's values fits and who you find attractive is definitely a great advice. At least if you want to find the right person and not another mess... But in the end also the question is are you deeply ready for a relationship?

    • @pomikiwi9010
      @pomikiwi9010 24 วันที่ผ่านมา

      So to me 5 dates seems very little....😂 I've been friends first with all my partners (not that I've had many lol). Attraction for me definitely grows over time. I mean, I know if the person is attractive to me or not quite soon, but sexual attraction takes a while. I can't do casual sex or one night stands at all. I need to know the relationship is heading long term before having sex or I need some emotional connection or feelings.

  • @FoundLamb
    @FoundLamb หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Family. The simple fact is humans need other humans. So desperation is not the (only) reason.

  • @RoxyVarley
    @RoxyVarley 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Really helpful thank you. I’m the same as her someone who has no ability to process their emotions does not get a ticket to stay in my life. I recommend they seek a therapist and get out.
    I wouldn’t say the honeymoon period ends a relationship because we don’t know how to be in relationships. It usually takes about 3 months to really see someone’s patterns and at this stage we can decide we don’t want a relationship with them.

  • @Niels_Dalemans
    @Niels_Dalemans หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    What a timing, i read this chapter yesterday in the book 😄

  • @MMJ-od5sh
    @MMJ-od5sh 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    My ex was just this he was never being his Authentic self. I felt I never knew him. He wanted to live in the honeymoon phase of a relationship only where no conflict came up, no deeper talking & sweep everything under the rug. A year in it was obvious he was still never letting me in or know his needs & would freeze & avoid when I tried to connect. He couldn’t do it in the end & was angry with me for trying to grow the relationship. Sadly we split as he was to terrified to move forward. I discovered Our relationship seemed to follow a cycle of some of his past of shutting people out & walking away. Sadly he shunned therapy .

  • @flower23487
    @flower23487 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Dear Jillian, thank you. 🤍
    You literally have guided me out my darkest phases recent times.
    I relate walking on eggshells since childhood. I'm learning choosing wisely for myself, my nervous system, my well-being. Been in the narcissistic and unavailable dynamics hell - I've come out of it taking complete self-accountability and radical self-responsibility the hard ways. Thank you for your insights which have protected and guided me to safety once again.
    Thank you and grateful to you Matthew for this wholesome conversation! A hearty thank you to both of You. 🤍🤍

  • @kmsch986
    @kmsch986 16 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Hi Matthew, I love your podcasts and have learned so much. Can you consider putting your guests name and their book or link to their channels in the description it would help us less technical find their content and be great for your guests.

  • @bellesebastian012
    @bellesebastian012 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    26:00 and finally learning something new; I find her greatest value is her data set from having coached and come across so many ppl. “The 10% became the 90%.” Is golden. Some stuff being shared is very basic, and some of it is golden and worth listening to the basic stuff. Good reminders about stuff. Not all of its the gospel though. Keep your mind in critical thinking gear.

  • @Dixie8642
    @Dixie8642 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Neat interview; she seems like a lovely person who’s learned some things to share. The one cringe for me was the suggestion that, in yours 60s and beyond, perhaps you should consider hand holding enough.

  • @Mix-wj2ew
    @Mix-wj2ew 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Fantastic advice here. Thank you 🙏🏼

  • @shantijackson7900
    @shantijackson7900 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This podcast was so good ! Definitely going to purchase her book! ❤️

  • @joshliam1967
    @joshliam1967 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

    This video was valuable in so many ways, thank you.

  • @natureflowadventure4158
    @natureflowadventure4158 8 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Right here: "accountability's the single most important thing." Loving myself and de-programming my beliefs, my blueprint, and my patterns!

  • @TonganJedi
    @TonganJedi 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Already pre-ordered her book! Can't wait to read it.

  • @magicevie1
    @magicevie1 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Matthew thank you for asking about narcissistic parents as a separate category 🙏🏽 They really are

  • @ruthdevon900
    @ruthdevon900 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Great podcast today. She was amazing and hit home for me

  • @JBluegrassBanjoLab
    @JBluegrassBanjoLab หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thank you for sharing this ❤

  • @suel7609
    @suel7609 28 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Excellent conversation

  • @zonin88
    @zonin88 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Good insight on relationships

  • @stevenmonte7397
    @stevenmonte7397 หลายเดือนก่อน

    She has a cool vibe! Great conversation!

  • @lilkev5060
    @lilkev5060 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Dort rush yourself. I was in a RL for four years, from 33 to37. I knew I dont have much time left. We took a dog together. I raised this dog. This dog was Focused on me, and still he put so much pressure on me that I left the dog with him cause I knew I couldnt handle any contact with him any more and he dient let me just have my dog. In the end the dog stayed with him cause I wasnt strong enough. I couldnt argumentiert or fight with him without getting destroyed by it. He was an narcisst. And I dient know how to fight for my dog without getting destroyed by him. Iam so overly happy that I dient make kids with him, even it does mean I will never have.... Everybody take care!

  • @libbycollins9349
    @libbycollins9349 หลายเดือนก่อน +88

    I got to tell my alcoholic father that I loved him before he died.

    • @ainsleyferger6447
      @ainsleyferger6447 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Love that for you :)

    • @AngeloDelavinias
      @AngeloDelavinias 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      You don’t love him

    • @danielamondschein
      @danielamondschein 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@AngeloDelaviniasdon't tell other people how they feel.

    • @annika_slr
      @annika_slr 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      @@AngeloDelavinias Harsh words! I did the same except it was my mother. It is very complicated you love them but hate how they changed because of the alcohol. But deep down you care for them.

    • @sonalshalom8240
      @sonalshalom8240 8 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Me too ❤

  • @4lynneterry
    @4lynneterry 6 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Her story is more common than most people realize

  • @javinnelaureen
    @javinnelaureen 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

    What a smart conversation!!!!!!

  • @iaimster11
    @iaimster11 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I love Jillian. I can’t across her IG account and caught your YT recently. I was super excited to see that you were having her on as your guest for the show. Loved watching & listening to the both of you. I admire both of you and your work. Thank you!

  • @TheMovingFingerWrites
    @TheMovingFingerWrites หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    She says that people over 60 should accept ‘companionship’ and ‘hand holding’.
    Less than a minute later, she says people shouldn’t settle for someone who you don’t want to have sex with.
    Which is it? Or are people over 60 just not sexual any more? The research strongly suggests otherwise.
    Kinda confused and disappointed with this guest.

    • @DoReMeaCulpa
      @DoReMeaCulpa 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      I agree. She lost a lot of credibility when she basically wrote off "older people " and seemed to out them in a difficult category. I think she is highly overrated and underqualified to be giving such advice.

    • @rkk2606
      @rkk2606 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I don't see these points at odds with each other. You don't need to try to force a relationship with someone you aren't attracted to (she suggests going on up to 5 dates). But it's okay to have friendships with both men and women, just be upfront about your companionship/friendship and make sure the two of you are on the same page about that so people aren't getting hurt due to mismatched expectations. As long as both people accept the friendship and aren't secretly trying to turn things romantic, you can find solid quality friendships out there and don't have to feel alone. And when it comes to dating, it may be hard to find someone who meets a long list of criteria (especially in terms of superficial stuff and you might not get all of that in a partner), but if you prioritize your essentials (especially in terms of character, kindness, etc and the things that truly matter to your relationship satisfaction) then don't settle on that. There are nuances to what she is saying but it doesn't contradict.

  • @melissawatson9662
    @melissawatson9662 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

    It’s not impatience Matthew, it is reality …. Keep that in mind.

  • @resellers_guide_1018
    @resellers_guide_1018 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I can't agree with her .
    Anyway great video . ❤

  • @CameronVaughn-l9x
    @CameronVaughn-l9x 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    My aunt said,
    “women will marry
    their father.”
    I hope she knows
    I’ll never marry,
    because I came
    to realize how true.
    I’m so grateful
    I chose to never marry.
    You all make me
    feel very comfortable
    with my choice.
    A relationship alone
    can be destructive.
    I couldn’t imagine
    my life had I married
    a narcissistic partner.
    Culture has gone
    from familistic to
    individualistic beliefs.
    This is why marriage
    no longer lasts.

  • @Vibsee
    @Vibsee หลายเดือนก่อน

    I really needed this video👌

  • @elmosworld6407
    @elmosworld6407 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    I agree with most of it but when she talks about being not attractive and change something thats a load of bollocks tbh😂😂 physical attraction plays a big role and rightfully so

  • @growwithsomangshu1463
    @growwithsomangshu1463 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    33:00 is soo real . I am in the playing house for relationship right now .

  • @sadiekimmer3950
    @sadiekimmer3950 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I’ve taken myself to the ER five times in the last four years by myself

  • @asiabaran311
    @asiabaran311 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love this woman!

  • @alexandrapiedrahita69
    @alexandrapiedrahita69 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I identify with you a lot with your life

  • @vixter28
    @vixter28 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I’ve done that
    Gave men I really wasn’t attracted to 2-3 dates
    Still didn’t work out

    • @ireefree2024
      @ireefree2024 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      In which aspect you haven't been attracted? It's a very thin line. If you find a guy physical attractive and he has the same values as you then give him 5-6 dates even if you don't feel the "spark" because spark or chemistry is often just a sign of trauma and warnings signs of already known experiences... if these compontens are missing then no he's not worth it... I'm happy married to a man with who I hadn't butterflies because he wasn't avoidant. Today I have nothing but real love for him and we're more then five years together and still are crazy about each other...

  • @talesfromtheroad9530
    @talesfromtheroad9530 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Is it possible that the human heart hasn't evolved as a species to bond romantically with as many people as we do in modern dating and grieve romantically as many as we do? I'm not glorifying the 'olden days' at ALL but it seems as a human species we prob became mates with someone once or twice in our lifetime.....not five or six or seven etc. ....Idk, this post is coming from an exhausted heart 😂❤

  • @hopeodell9945
    @hopeodell9945 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    There is no reason unless he wanted someone else why. Did he break up with me I haven't been with anyone for 10 years I come in to this thinking he will never hurt me but he did I knew he was back to hurt me ❤😢

  • @ananimity7332
    @ananimity7332 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    What if one is in a relationship with a man who is emotionally unavailable?

    • @Kathy-qu8zj
      @Kathy-qu8zj หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That may be most men..?

    • @ananimity7332
      @ananimity7332 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Kathy-qu8zj I mean one who has been diagnosed with it.

    • @Sara-qw7lc
      @Sara-qw7lc หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Bring up what bothers u and if he refuses to acknowledge your experience, emotions or feelings, sit down with him and tell him about it.
      I guess some guys are just clueless and don’t know what a lot of us girls know, when it comes to relationships and emotions.
      If he ain’t the one, then find happiness with someone else. Prioritize yourself before anyone else. ❤

    • @Kathy-qu8zj
      @Kathy-qu8zj หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      That gets old pretty quick..

    • @ananimity7332
      @ananimity7332 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Sara-qw7lc Thank you so much :)

  • @stephridestheworld
    @stephridestheworld หลายเดือนก่อน

    Oh yeah.
    We were in town visiting a (female...) friend when I got a call that someone at the department I was managing at the time had had an accident and got hurt in a somewhat dramatic way. At the time they didn't know the extent, so I was pretty distraught (next day I learned that apart from fractures, they were ok).
    He noticed the call, subject and my reaction to it, shrugged and kept joking around with said friend. "Well there's nothing I can do about it right now".
    Should have ended it right then and there. 🙄

  • @alice-hp7dh
    @alice-hp7dh หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Who has the right and the knowledge to know if we are "enough" for another person and same thing in reverse?
    Maybe I'm not desperate to be in relationship with someone, but the last one or two crashes from my part, didn't worked because the other ones weren't interested. So maybe I decide to give it a go to that person who shows me interest but for who I didn't feel any attraction. Perhaps it could happens that we become a good match but in the end something is missing in my case and in the long run the relatioship fails. Or because I'm not desperate, I decided to stay single and that's ok.
    But I just wanna to say that find the right person in the right moment is a sort of delusion.

  • @user-dm9kw1pp3y
    @user-dm9kw1pp3y 18 วันที่ผ่านมา

    What are your thoughts on someone who does not have a social life or social circle of friends? And the best friend he has, he is constantly irritated, angry at and gets upset with. When we began dating, he had two women friends he hung out with. Both were upset he was dating me. One lost it and was so angry. The other one made a comment that showed she wanted more than just friends.

  • @zenmeetshygge2322
    @zenmeetshygge2322 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

    This lady is me🥲

  • @monikaozog7611
    @monikaozog7611 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I'm a bit confused because I don't know if me and my boyfriend are playing house or not. Something feels off but I cannot figure out what.

  • @marihutten
    @marihutten 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

    She's the Difficult Child! Wow, I imagine how it must have been to grow up with a dad that wrote a book like that based on you. That's messed up.
    Great interview.

  • @DonnasBananaBreads
    @DonnasBananaBreads 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I’m 69 and still very much enjoy sex. I’m so sick of hearing people say I should just be looking for companionship.

  • @michelehellmann2918
    @michelehellmann2918 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    This woman resembles Sandra Bullock

    • @BLB-mf8kk
      @BLB-mf8kk 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I came here, looking for this comment. 😊 I was thinking a cross between Sandra Bullock and Zooey Deschanel.