More successfull it shock therapy (around 90%)but its unethically cruel (best jet evidentially proven). Still more powerfull than Applied Behavioural Therapy is EMDR, but isnt evidentially proven jet (no one has even an idea why it works, psychogists just do it because it works:)
@@jon_durham I had it too..My advice:create.You will be then thankful for your suffering.And consider yourself as a brave person and think "I already survived with this pain this much,let's see how much it will pass!" And remember! It's not a bad thing,all things are relative..Geniuses had the hardest mental and soul ilnesses,some drank alcohol,but actually without that they wouldn't achieve highest potential..Learn to love your pain-and then it will disappear(gradually behind your eyes)-that is what I do.
I get it, but I don't see myself as an alcoholic. Alcohol is something I do socially in order to lower inhibitions and make me more open and social with others.
@@jellylvy7507 ur not alone. Face your fears in micro doses. Get practice by talking to other shy people never limit yourself to one nationality all nationalities have shy too many people. This too will definitely pass. Never turn to drugs to cope it will only make your life worse. And don't turn to hate if you feel a certain type of people make you nervous hate will never win
He is literally the next greatest mind humanity will have. He is so well read and conscious about his thoughts and reasoning he cannot be shut down, because he has already picked apart his own views to solidify them. What a guy.
1:34 is the best advice. Look people into the eyes, always. Even when you talk to somebody you like a lot or fear a lot: look at them. 3:57 Always assume people know something you do not know. Which is always the case because nobodies life is equal, thus we all have different experiences.
He didn't say to look them in the eyes he just simply said to look at them and try to figure them out. If you're bad at maintaining eye contact then you would probably just be self conscious the whole time.
I'm autistic, I find prolonged contact unnatural and distracting. If I'm making prolonged eye contact, I'm.not paying full attention to what a person is saying.
Interesting. That explains it!! I took a speech class in college and noticed myself looking at people’s eyes comfortably but when I looked at the wall behind the class, I felt less comfortable. And past few years, I’ve noticed speakers spending a lot of time looking at me. Focus & moving forward.... the cure for anxiety. It worked for me!
After I developed anxiety everything changed; it really sucks because before that I was such a confident guy. Absolutely no problems talking in front of a large crowd, no nervousness, act as if I owned the stage. But after anxiety came even walking down the street sometimes makes my knees shake. I feel like it's just not who I am, it really sucks.
Happened to me too, I use to have so much energy but now home doesn’t feel like home now, I feel like I’m just here waiting to die I hate these thoughts
Finally someone I can relate to! I know a lot of people and have a HUGE filter on every time I meet somebody and try to end the conversation as quick as possible because I'm so anxious
I'm doing much better now. For a couple of years I suffered from knee jerking anxiety. But that has stopped now thank God. But I'm still nowhere near the man I used to be. Something changed deeply.
Sometimes feel like death would be better. Suffered 23 years of addiction through self medicating to try and ease my s/a which has also ruined my life. Had severe social anxiety for 23 years now and god only knows how I have survived life through this. Every day is such a nightmare.
1. Don't stop thinking of yourself because you can't, look at other people to know what they think. Pay attention! 2. You can't talk to group of people, you always talk to one person. That's easy. 3. Look what's not going right, use the information, work on your mistakes. 4. Identify what you fear. Compose it to small problems. Expose yourself to the thing you're afraid of. Itsevarmuus tulee kokemuksesta.
As a child I would look my father in the eye and he would yell "you wanna stare me down," and slap me or throw something or break something. 18 years of stuff like that and I could barely function, hold a job, drugs, etc. 30 now still riddled with anxiety and severe problems with self image. These lectures have helped me tremendously.
My mom is similar. I one told her that she treated me the worst among all her children. She was eating greasy chicken when I said that. Her response was to put down her chicken and slap me across my face with her greasy hand.
From my experience and what’s others have said. Social anxiety stems from caring what people think and or feeling like you have an image to uphold. You’re afraid if you behave in a way that gets your needs met, people will dislike you and maybe confront you and you don’t know how to handle confrontations also. You’re afraid what those people are thinking about you and it’s as if they can tell how you feel so you try to “act” calm which worsens the symptoms.
Hi, Adam. I can definitely resonate and would be interested in hearing more about your experiences relating to social anxiety and/or public speaking and/or any anxieties you may still currently face. I’m looking to interview individuals (purely for my own research) to help me build a new workshop I’m working on. It would mean the world to me if we could hop on a quick call and I could ask you a few questions. OR if you know of someone who fits this description, please tag them below/introduce me. Feel free to tag me here with a reply if you’re interested :) Super appreciate your shared insights in advance.
I have more of a problem with running out of things to say or bore the person out. being around people isn't really hard, but rather engaging in a conversation. I could say I'm ok with silence and just being around people is fine enough, but I fear that I make the other person way too uncomfortable and thus I feel pressured to come up with a topic...
i had this problem too, but then i realized it's not that bad to have some silence. what i mean is if i always carry the convo i give myself a break, if the other person wont speak up it's either he's awkward/anxious too or not interested. i tell myself don't stress about it and a good tip is to try to milk the convo but try to not repeat the same stuff over again or you'll look dumb(don't stress bout tho)
My favorite lines: "It's not about becoming less afraid but more courageous." "There isn't a specific reason why you should just feel good about yourself... Observe courage in yourself."
@@ohyeahyeah973 you are 100% correct, he shut down his patreon as a matter of principle accepting a large loss in revenue. The above commenter is ignorant of his underlying message of personal strength and duty to the community.
Hey, liked this video a lot. Just thought I'd share the most useful thing I ever learnt for un-stifling yourself and managing anxiety levels to the point where they basically don't exist. Almost all the social anxiety you experience is because of one thing, worrying about how other people's judgements might affect your chances of surviving or reproducing. All you have to do is act in a way that forces people to notice you, so make solid eye contact like Jordan says, get your voice out there, force yourself to speak to people even if you just ask for directions/the time, if you see an old lady at a crossing go over and help her cross. Within about 20 minutes of taking lots of action that forces multiple people to judge you, part of your brain realises that your safe when you express yourself, anxiety levels drop, the flood gates open and everything is way more fun.
Noticed the same thing when i got a promotion and basically was forced to be social all the time...was too embarrassed to turn down a promotion cos i'm scared of ppl ... lol
I used to have social anxiety for over 7 years. I found a great resource online that lowered my anxiety level and now I can leave the house. Go here now to learn some great treatment options for social anxiety: MootSpeak.xyz
@@Jozua777 because he opposed the legislation Bill C-16 that Canada brought about which forces people to conform to the use of gender pronouns, making it illegal to use the wrong pronoun. People on the left called him transphobic, when really his argument was for free speech and that language should not be legislated.
@@Jozua777 well it is radical leftists who are hell bent on pushing their politically correct agenda who dislike him, twist his words and try to discredit him, idiots
I was once a pretty popular, very confidant guy, very social and had like 4 different groups of friends. Some time in my mid 30’s (I’m 50 now) for some odd reason I became less sociable to the point of pushing people away and actually “burning bridges”purposely. Anxiety grabbed ahold of me in my early 40’s (to this present day). Now I have exactly 2 friends (by choice, and they live a couple of thousands miles away from me) and I stay inside, alone, until I need to go to buy food to keep existing. When I am in public (ANYWHERE) I begin to literally sweat when making small talk or engaging in conversation. I’ve dealt with major depression since my early 20’s and that has also gotten to such a point where I’m past being sad, mad, confused…I’m just honestly numb. I self medicated THC for way too many years (it made these problems multiply I believe) and have recently quit. I’m very comfortable being alone but I don’t like that I’m comfortable being alone. I’m physically fit, have been told I am handsome and I’m intelligent enough but none of that helps AT ALL. Thanks for reading.
Recommend actual therapy instead of trying another drug that only shows results in trials with huge amounts of professional guidance. But you can't eat therapy in two seconds and be done with it, so I suppose that's too much effort for most people to exert for their own health.
@@Lemond.0770 same here bro. When I started THC about 2 years back it showed real signs of help. But now It just feels different. Have tried quitting a couple times but it's difficult. I find myself thinking about the past way more than ever in my life
This right here. To speak more confidently in public 'never speak to the group, speak to a person, focus on the person'. It's absolutely helped me change my thinking and be more confident in public speaking.
"He told me he woke with fear in the morning, and went to bed with fear in the night... I asked him 'how can a man be brave if he's afraid'. 'That's the only time a man can be brave' he told me." ~Robb Stark
*Working* *At* *McDonald's* Me: "Welcome to McDonald's how may I take your order?" Customer: "Yeah what's good?" Me: "Pretty good man just chillin, what's good with you?" Customer: "No, like what's good to order?" Me: *dies inside*
Cheers for this, I've been looking for "curing social anxiety" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever tried - MootSpeak.xyz I've heard some great things about it and my friend got great results with it
Awesome tip. Another reason why people become anxious is because they're not in the moment. It's impossible to be in the present moment and anxious at the same time since anxiety happens due to internal dialogue. It can also happen from outside stimulus, for example if you're in danger, but those are rare circumstances.
Yea Anxiety share a relationship with depression that is similar to what mania share with depression. If a coexisting mania and depression is called bipolar disorder, what is the name for condition where anxiety and depression coexist?
This video is so important to me, I was in my final year of highschool. Throughout all of high school I had tried my hardest to fly below the radar, I hung out with my group of friends and didnt interact with anyone else, my reputation was that of someone who was unknown outside of my group of 10 or so friends and a few others. I was terrified of social interaction and I hated it. It was holding me back i felt miserable at the prospect of remaining in this bubble of safety my entire life. What Jordan says here in this video just really brought home to me what I had to do. It's such simple advice but for some reason it really spoke to me. Do what feels uncomfortable and you will improve and grow the rule applies with anything you are trying to learn but the way he explained it in a social setting made so much sense. My legacy at high school was already made up to be the quiet kid but the future held so much more. My mum had told me about a program where you worked in a school in England for a year with 2 other random people. I had always wanted to experience living in England it did interest me but the social part made me feel uncomfortable and just felt too far outside my comfort zone so initially I refused, after this video I ran into the kitchen and told my mum to sign me up. I've now been outside the comfort zone of Sydney my home town for 9 months. I am living in England I feel like a new person I still have a way to go with my social skillls but they along with my confidence have improved dramatically. So thank you Mr Peterson you changed my life with this tiny video. I will come back to Australia a changed man
I can relate to your highschool experience. Mine started in junior high. I tried to be invisible not make waves. Was stuck in my own mind...afraid of everyone & everything while trying to wear a mask that i was ok. I wasn't. I suffered greatly and continued to suffer throughout most of my life. I just didn't know what to do to fix myself. I am 59 yrs old now and just now becoming honest with myself to seek help. So I applaud you for beginning your journey of wellness. God bless you. Ur comments inspired me.
same with me during middle school, i only hungout with a close friend but avoided talking to others.. bc of my anxiety ive had it since i was 12 so about 7 or 8 years now 😬
"The coward believes he will live forever If he holds back in the battle, But in old age he shall have no peace Though spears have spared his limbs." Hávamál, Stanza 16
We project our opinion of ourselves on to others and believe they must also have that opinion of us. When we see ourselves as decent human beings who deserve to be treated decently our nervousness and anxiety disappears.
I fought it and WON! It took a lot of time.. it wasn’t overnight but I got rid of it. When I was anxious in school i started noticing my breathing pattern was not normal. I would walk tensed up holding my breath to the hallways and when I ever I got the bathroom to catch my breath I started feeling better. I started deep breathing exercises at home and at school and it’s been uphill for me! TRY IT GUYS!! Good luck on your journey.
Social anxiety has basically guided my entire life. I see that if I hadn't it all my life would be completely different. I lost a lot of opportunities just trying to cope with it. But honestly, I'm tired of it. Comes what comes. I think the great problem with people who have social anxiety is just to show other people that they have it. This is maybe one of the mechanisms which made possible that this entire time they've been so. And for my part, I don't care anymore if people think that I have social anxiety or not. Just embrace it all.
Hi, Guilherme. I can definitely resonate with all you’ve said and would be interested in hearing more about your experiences relating to social anxiety and/or public speaking and/or any anxieties you may still currently face. I’m looking to interview individuals (purely for my own research) to help me build a new workshop I’m working on. It would mean the world to me if we could hop on a quick call and I could ask you a few questions. OR if you know of someone who fits this description, please tag them below/introduce me. Feel free to tag me here with a reply if you’re interested :) Super appreciate your shared insights in advance.
I was diagnosed with autism as an adult and occasionally get worried that I really just have a combination of other issues, including social anxiety. This video assured me I definitely do not have social anxiety. >look at people and you’ll know what they’re feeling No, I get opposite results to that, I get more confused >if you can’t do that, nobody trained you No, my family tried really hard . I just couldn’t learn how.
Thank you! We need more examples shared like this as it's frustrating he doesn't mention that there can be differential diagnoses for social anxiety. I'm autistic too and was incorrectly diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder. I tried everything to 'fix' it. I watched so many of these kinds of videos and implemented the advice. I just got more and more traumatized. Years later I finally got the correct diagnosis and then everything finally made sense. One approach does fit all! And that is a massive problem with clinicians speaking generally where the audiences are individuals. I wish his videos at least had disclaimers that the info might not be correct for them and encouraged people to seek out a personal therapist. I think this is one of the reasons why I prefer watching Healthy Game GG videos instead of much JBP now.
I love how he goes a layer deep than most and incorporates ancient symbolism and archetypes in the collective unconscious. We are so lucky to be watching this for free, I almost feel like its free therapy.
EVERYONE has ignored me my entire life, so I just gave up trying. 4 years through university and I spoke to roughly 6 people - once. Deliberately picked classes which were solitary.
same I've got in this social anxiety from my childhood but never realized it until 16 yrs old I became and then I dropped my high school-worst on worst I am balding at the age of 17 and I am short ugly stupid dark circles those are genetically there and now I have no aim I can't decide what I should do in my life, I am over from me but still I am trying to fight with myself for at least I'll get myself somewhere I can't study as whenever I do I forget everything, I can't memorize and my family thinks I am coward I have not been out for 3 months sometimes I go with my father for some work I feel like everyone is watching me and judge me I don't know what to do ....
@@DeminMortem If you can, you should find a psychologist to talk to, or someone at your school who is a curator. If you have talked to one and had a bad experience, find someone new. I had massive social anxiety during high school, and i didn't talk to anyone and i regret it so much. And it's much easier to talk to someone who isn't your parent. You are only 17, you have plenty of time to get guidance in life and set your life in the right path. Being sensitive to life is something you need to turn into a strength, because it is a strength under the right conditions. If you need any help just ask here ill answer
I start a trade school Monday. I've never been to college..i have a GED. Im recovering from addiction and trying to start over. I've always been anxious and maybe i used drugs before to numb it. I'm tryin to relearn how to live and be successful. Prayers and good vibes are appreciated. God bless all yall 💚✌🏻
I am curing my anxiety with : self-talking : I try to understand what has triggered the episode and talk to myself pretending I'm my therapist. Conscious breathing : I listen to brown noise and deep breathe for as long as I need. Conscious walking : I walk in nature for as long as I need to. 80% less phone pick ups : that constant kind of stimuli puts you in a fight or flight mode. Bore yourself : allow your brain to think and process information and emotions, giving yourself lots of moments where you literally don't do anything. Books and Hobbies : use these two as your main source of entertainment. This auto therapy I've made have saved my life.
@@kevinc721 Put it up somewhere you always walk by. Like next to the door of your room. You remind yourself every day what your trying to do today. Like looking people in they eyes and not look at your shoes, to keep a better posture with your shoulders back and standing straight. Download & print an excel calender sheet. Check off the days one by one to keep doing your thing. You can add some simple workout on the plan so you won't slack off. There could be a diet on there too. Discipline yourself.
I'm in university right now ( first year) I always fear talking with people that's why I always avoided people but then I become depressed.. But now when I'm in university I strongly want to improve myself!!! Make lots of friends and enjoy learning & speaking with people. But somehow my low self esteem, self confidence becomes problem for me . I now have social anxiety. Even tho I know what I have to speak still I stammer, forgot words . My body shakes & my heart beat is so fast . My mind goes blank. But now I had enough of all these because of this social anxiety I have missed so many opportunities. I wanna talk confidently in public. Give my best 💗
So true! My social anxiety is non existent. I faced my fear head on. But I still have to work on my explanations so other people can understand my point 😁
I got to say. My first impression of Dr. Peterson was way off. Usually I find motivational speeches/speakers cliched and annoying, but JP definitely has a very compelling/inspiring way of addressing the existential angst so many of us experience. There’s enough genuine intellectual & emotional nuance to his words that even when he addresses something very unpleasant/uncomfortable, I feel the need to earnestly listen.
Yeah he's not a motivational speaker, he's a psychology professor. He certainly has quite a unique and engaging speaking style compared to typical professors though.
I considered myself as a wimp, then i heard the end of the video, when he talks about knowing the amount of courage there is inside you. I thought of myself over the last decade, and I realized that, dang, I did things that most of the common people would never dare try to do. It's hard to realize. I'm not a wimp.
I actually became depressed over social anxiety and then became more depressed because I thought about how stupid it was to be depressed over being socially inept. Many beers and life events later I found help through counseling, making TH-cam videos, and Jordan Peterson.
My anxiety stemmed from being in malls. With that in mind, it wasn't me going to malls constantly that helped me eradicate my anxiety for them, but after watching this video, subconsciously by just being in large groups on my own like school, or at work eradicated my anxiety for malls as a whole; also deep and candid self-reflection. I'm not a mall person to this day, but I'm a lot more braver than unafraid as Jordan states when being in such a chaotic environment.
Yea well, you don't have to stop him at all. You'd be ripping out the entire context by doing so. As there has been a time that you went for parties before discovering that you had a problem with it.
Rather than trying to overcome it, I'm trying to just accept that I have it and move on. And then I'm brought back to reality and realise i gotta fix this. It's a never ending cycle.
I'm going to admit I cried. I cried because 1. He's right and I have a little more clarity, because I'm afraid yes but I'm also lost. 2. Because I feel like I'm not losing my mind and what I'm feeling is real.
I had crippling social phobia from puberty age of 11 and I was unable to talk or make eye contact with my classmates. I couldn’t eat in the cafeteria because I thought everyone was looking at me, but not in a I’m so great way, but rather what did I do wrong feeling. Then I decided to just leave for lunch in high school and it was closed campus, but I honestly couldn’t care less what the consequences were because anything was better than that about to have a panic attack feeling. Once I was given a 10mg Percocet. I immediately was able to start initiating conversations. I told myself this was how God wanted me to feel. I became a full blown opiate addict for the following 10 years.
Nabil Chennoufi Maybe. His speech is pretty informal, but I think the best understandings of many things are lost in overly technical or wordy descriptions; he probably knows what he’s talking about, but since he’s saying it with relative certainty and in an unscientific manner, you think it’s fluff. In contrast, I agree with him, but that’s probably because I’ve previously had thoughts that kind of mirrored his.
I used to drink to loosen up before social events, thinking it helped me fit in, but over time, it spiraled out of control. What started as a casual habit turned into something I couldn't escape. Now, I'm working on reclaiming my life without relying on alcohol. 💪
I have no social circle and people seem to not be interested in me. I'm 23 and never had an intimate experience in my life. Currently I'm at such a dark place that it's nearly imopossible to get worse and my mental health has started to affect my physical health. That's why I started to work on my social anxiety. I'm in uni and I started approaching some people (not groups) even though it terrifies me. This far it wasn't really successfull but I gotta keep trying because it's the only way to make my life non miserable. In todays lecture I'm planning on sitting next to a person who also sits by themselves. I hope I can muster up the courage
I have social anxiety, my personality changes everyday to the person I’m with.i quit my job as it was to many people used to always comment on me. And because I’m a nice guy didn’t use to say anything but felt uneasy inside. To nervous to speak red in face and heart racing. The funny thing is tho I love my fashion and take pride in what I wear and how I look but I don’t have the personality because I’m always overthinking when really I shouldn’t care because they are jealous and insecure. I’m okay around postive people who are like’ you are sick bro’ not people who are judgemental. I have no bitterness towards anyone, I just wish I had positive friends so I could enjoy my life instead of living in my room all day and overthinking. Love you guys 22 Uk please hit me up
I think I might need behaviour therapy. My parents neglected me as a child, leaving me to my own devices where I just spun around in my own little world, unaware of an outside existence. My mother was constantly high, and my dad was never there for me as a child. Then when I was 11, my mother left and gave me abandonment issues where I developed symptoms of AVPD from social rejection.
well go to the party i'll be socially awkward and people WILL judge me its happened before and it WILL happen again yes but this time you go and actively be socially awkward and try to express your own personality and element so you can get over this fear but people will judge me great, and this is the point, and you get judged once and twice and 50 times until you get over this fear of judgement. well i HAVE been judged a million times already why aren't I getting over it? because you have't done it actively yet well how do i do it actively while there's a huge microphone screaming into my head the things i should be saying and doing and thoughts of total inadequacy and screaming DON'T DO SOMETHING STUPID LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO!!!! you try doing that with people you're comfortable with the most there's no one I'm comfortable with except my mom and i already tell her all kinds of crap but with other people i don't do that because i'm too scared and there's this microphone screaming into my head and i can't think of anything except my fucking defense mechanisms i know man i'm there too and i dont know what to do seriously i'm 20 years old i have the same conversation with my therapist everytime and there's nothing getting better i know. i hate my life so much i'm even anxious to write THIS even though im totally anonymous....
I’m Autistic, and therefore have difficulty with reading and processing people even if I do pay attention, but all this still applies and this advice still helped me
I don't have social anxiety, but my face gets red when I talk in front of an unknown group (talking to unknowns at a lunch table, a group of girls/guys that I don't know, etc, but not class presentations since I've known everyone there since middle school). I'm perfectly fine in 1 on 1 convos or 1 on 2, but in larger groups it kind of depends
I found simply taking Paroxetine every day ameliorated my social anxiety by some 85%. Yes simply one pill a day did this. So Social anxiety with me was definitly a low serotonin thing. Mind you it took 3 months of taking the pills before they cut in.
What I've realized the more I watch these videos is that the topics he talks about in a single video are deep enough for me to keep me occupied in my thoughts for an entire week. Watching too many videos in a day is just too much to contemplate and I overlook alot of the content. One video a day is enough for me.
This man has been an absolute inspiration to me. Today I had an interview for a career that will end up being the last place I ever work and I was extremely nervous and unsure. I gave this video a look and I walked in with my head held high, my shoulders back and open to whatever may come. I will forever be thankful that God made this man.
Hi @DissonantSubLT. I can definitely resonate and would be interested in hearing more about your experiences relating to social anxiety and/or public speaking and/or any anxieties you may still currently face. I’m looking to interview individuals (purely for my own research) to help me build a new workshop I’m working on. It would mean the world to me if we could hop on a quick call and I could ask you a few questions. OR if you know of someone who fits this description, please tag them below/introduce me. Feel free to tag me here with a reply if you’re interested :) Super appreciate your shared insights in advance.
In a way it is like taking a cold shower. The very thought of it sends shivers down the spine. But once that water lands on your back, you feel slight discomfort for a second but then you do not feel it anymore. Voluntary Exposure is key.
There’s some people chronically anxious and depressed they almost can’t break out of it. And they start to wonder what they need to live for. Since they just can’t function
What he fails to mention is the energy it requires to fight social anxiety on the daily. Energy that could be used to be better at your job or a more attentive driver. Some other aspect of your life will suffer in order to successfully deal with social anxiety.
There's something about the GROUP that always triggers my flight or fight response. I feel overwhelmed like I can't defend myself against so many people. The part about not wanting to seem like a threat and looking down is spot on. Gonna have to look everyone that comes close to me in the eyes & say hello so I can see what they're thinking. It's the not knowing that makes my brain go into overdrive. Im 26 been having this issue since highschool. Can't believe I never sat down to figure this out till now. Standing in the grocery line feeling like I'm about to be attacked is not normal.
I already went through a month without barely getting any sleep due to anxiety. Years have passed, things got better, became better at socializing, but sometimes that debilitating anxiety still hits incredibly hard.
What really sucks is when you were very socially outgoing then something traumatic happens and induces anxiety then you have to learn everything again without becoming a loner.
Same happened with me. I was very good with small talk and now I have to learn how to act in the world again, it’s like I have to learn everything as if it’s new. Because I can’t trust reality. Or something like that.
My brother said it best to me when he said “you need to believe your better than everyone and not take people so serious because your intiminated by the thoughts of other people” everyone is always going to have something to say about you no matter what you do, dont cater yourself to assholes and dont change your personality based on who your talking to. Stop thinking everyone you meet has a significance and take control of your own thoughts and actions. If you see a pretty girl, your first thought should never be to downplay how you look or how interesting you are, your first thought should be, she belongs with me because im great for this, this and this reasons. You dont even have to go talk to her, you could just say Hi or compliment something about her. You may not of made a connection or gotten anywhere, but you gave yourself the ability to start an interaction with someone who you were intimidated by.
1. always know your postures good, stop caring so much about what people say or do react inteligently and logically know your worth you'r as strong as you choose to be. 2. be aware of your surroundings and aware of how you come off and adapt. 3. be you be confident, open others thoughts. 4.remeber your you but to be the best you you just need to take care of your phsyical and your mental but cant have one well kept without the other truly.
I'm grateful for having found this magnificent Teacher and Storyteller, Jordan Peterson now, but I can only imagine how my life would've been today if I've received this advise in my shy, insecure and anxious teen years in the 80's...anyways, better now than never!
Get out of your head by pushing your attention outwards. Focus your vision on others. And this will open up your consciousness. This allows you to get out of your head. Look at the anomaly, what’s dangerous. Looking at what’s scaring you will teach you what you don’t know about yourself. The greatest rewards are on the other side of fear. Look at it in the eye. Do not coward
I feel like I'm making a lot of improvement but every improvement is offset by a habit of going back to the comfort zone of not talking, not being heard, and not expressing myself.
what we avoid becomes much more difficult to deal with
The cave we fear to enter , holds the treasure we’re seeking for
Yup
What you resist, persist. What you ... (letgo/ approach....) you gain power over it
More successfull it shock therapy (around 90%)but its unethically cruel (best jet evidentially proven). Still more powerfull than Applied Behavioural Therapy is EMDR, but isnt evidentially proven jet (no one has even an idea why it works, psychogists just do it because it works:)
@@banterabc5135 which are shock therapy and EMDR?
me on my wedding day :
'you guys go, im staying home.
kumar gourav can’t believe there’s not a thousand likes on this!! Haha
Lmao
Yes!
Hahaha
Me. That's why won't be getting married bye
When he said "when you're up at 4am thinking about your miserable life.."
I felt that ..
These are the most powerful moments of life.
coincidentally i'm watching this video at 4 am
That was me last night...
Same here, trouble sleeping at night messes everything up
@@jon_durham I had it too..My advice:create.You will be then thankful for your suffering.And consider yourself as a brave person and think "I already survived with this pain this much,let's see how much it will pass!" And remember! It's not a bad thing,all things are relative..Geniuses had the hardest mental and soul ilnesses,some drank alcohol,but actually without that they wouldn't achieve highest potential..Learn to love your pain-and then it will disappear(gradually behind your eyes)-that is what I do.
I used to get drunk before parties and it would help but then i became an alcoholic.
Sparksterfu me too. I’m working on it. Can’t do it anymore
I know I'm not supposed to laugh but I laughed my ass off when I read your comment 🤣🤣🤣
@@mr.youtube975 lol that was my intention, to make people laugh. XD
I get it, but I don't see myself as an alcoholic. Alcohol is something I do socially in order to lower inhibitions and make me more open and social with others.
🤣🤣🤣
I'm still thinking about white elephant.
I was thinking about wide elephant , its like big chungus
@@KingHenryTheGreat chunga chunga chunga
RACIST !
Hol' up. He said 'wide' elephant? Holy crap am I a nazi?!
It's extinct because of humans...
“Man I’m sweating too much.” So relatable lol
I'm one walking sweat patch lol
Me too, life is tough for nice people
I took a test recently and felt like everyone was staring cuz I was sweating so much
@@jellylvy7507 ur not alone. Face your fears in micro doses. Get practice by talking to other shy people never limit yourself to one nationality all nationalities have shy too many people. This too will definitely pass. Never turn to drugs to cope it will only make your life worse. And don't turn to hate if you feel a certain type of people make you nervous hate will never win
the more you sweat the more you sweat LOL
I’m 63. Wish I’d heard this decades ago
I´m 36 and have same thoughts..
Man ☹️
You’re still young, now is just as good of time as ever to make positive changes in your life.
@@MyloXyloto94 ur the opposite of your name
@@rollotomasi4135 Never too late
This guy is spot on about ever topic I’ve ever heard him talk about
He is next level, a gifted brain he's got.
lenny mulrooney
That’s because you have no original ideas of your own.
same
He is literally the next greatest mind humanity will have. He is so well read and conscious about his thoughts and reasoning he cannot be shut down, because he has already picked apart his own views to solidify them. What a guy.
That is what an university professor is trained for. That is litterally the education expected from universities. Trained Articulated mind persons.
1:34 is the best advice. Look people into the eyes, always. Even when you talk to somebody you like a lot or fear a lot: look at them.
3:57 Always assume people know something you do not know. Which is always the case because nobodies life is equal, thus we all have different experiences.
Nobody asked you
@@ColonelFlickage LMAO chill!
He didn't say to look them in the eyes he just simply said to look at them and try to figure them out. If you're bad at maintaining eye contact then you would probably just be self conscious the whole time.
I'm autistic, I find prolonged contact unnatural and distracting.
If I'm making prolonged eye contact, I'm.not paying full attention to what a person is saying.
@@Edithae I dont have autism but I'm the same exact way :\
Interesting. That explains it!! I took a speech class in college and noticed myself looking at people’s eyes comfortably but when I looked at the wall behind the class, I felt less comfortable. And past few years, I’ve noticed speakers spending a lot of time looking at me.
Focus & moving forward.... the cure for anxiety. It worked for me!
After I developed anxiety everything changed; it really sucks because before that I was such a confident guy. Absolutely no problems talking in front of a large crowd, no nervousness, act as if I owned the stage. But after anxiety came even walking down the street sometimes makes my knees shake. I feel like it's just not who I am, it really sucks.
Dan L same here man, same. Happy to see I’m not alone
Happened to me too, I use to have so much energy but now home doesn’t feel like home now, I feel like I’m just here waiting to die I hate these thoughts
Finally someone I can relate to! I know a lot of people and have a HUGE filter on every time I meet somebody and try to end the conversation as quick as possible because I'm so anxious
I'm doing much better now. For a couple of years I suffered from knee jerking anxiety. But that has stopped now thank God. But I'm still nowhere near the man I used to be. Something changed deeply.
Sometimes feel like death would be better. Suffered 23 years of addiction through self medicating to try and ease my s/a which has also ruined my life. Had severe social anxiety for 23 years now and god only knows how I have survived life through this. Every day is such a nightmare.
1. Don't stop thinking of yourself because you can't, look at other people to know what they think. Pay attention!
2. You can't talk to group of people, you always talk to one person. That's easy.
3. Look what's not going right, use the information, work on your mistakes.
4. Identify what you fear. Compose it to small problems. Expose yourself to the thing you're afraid of.
Itsevarmuus tulee kokemuksesta.
"Itsevarmuus tulee kokemuksesta." what does that mean? ty for summary
@@beotho "Confidence comes from experience" according to Google translate.
Totta. Pitää ottaa opit käytäntöön. Liikaa mennyt alkoholia tämän takia...
How? I start sweating heavily and I don’t even realise why. I just get so so conscious in a large group.
As a child I would look my father in the eye and he would yell "you wanna stare me down," and slap me or throw something or break something. 18 years of stuff like that and I could barely function, hold a job, drugs, etc. 30 now still riddled with anxiety and severe problems with self image. These lectures have helped me tremendously.
I'm so sorry for your experience. Hope you have found positive male relationships, big big hugs ❤️
My mom is similar. I one told her that she treated me the worst among all her children. She was eating greasy chicken when I said that. Her response was to put down her chicken and slap me across my face with her greasy hand.
God bless you bro. Hope your doing well and stay positive and strong.
Stay positive hombre 💪🏿
brother te puedo preguntar algo
From my experience and what’s others have said. Social anxiety stems from caring what people think and or feeling like you have an image to uphold. You’re afraid if you behave in a way that gets your needs met, people will dislike you and maybe confront you and you don’t know how to handle confrontations also. You’re afraid what those people are thinking about you and it’s as if they can tell how you feel so you try to “act” calm which worsens the symptoms.
And always feeling the need to prove yourself to others
Why didnt he said that in the video?
I didn’t know this could happen. I was born like this already or at least as far as I have memories.
Same! That’s exactly how I feel
Hi, Adam. I can definitely resonate and would be interested in hearing more about your experiences relating to social anxiety and/or public speaking and/or any anxieties you may still currently face. I’m looking to interview individuals (purely for my own research) to help me build a new workshop I’m working on. It would mean the world to me if we could hop on a quick call and I could ask you a few questions. OR if you know of someone who fits this description, please tag them below/introduce me. Feel free to tag me here with a reply if you’re interested :) Super appreciate your shared insights in advance.
Jordan Peterson is like the father I never had, except I did have a father.
Everyone has a father.
Question is: How much presence does he bring into your life.
Suspiriaxx Answer: none
Suspiriaxx not a lot,he is just bad at being compassionate like me
@@behemoth2887 compassion doesn't solve problems
triplea657aaa lack of it can create problems tho 🤷♂️
I have more of a problem with running out of things to say or bore the person out. being around people isn't really hard, but rather engaging in a conversation. I could say I'm ok with silence and just being around people is fine enough, but I fear that I make the other person way too uncomfortable and thus I feel pressured to come up with a topic...
feel ya
I get this!
i had this problem too, but then i realized it's not that bad to have some silence.
what i mean is if i always carry the convo i give myself a break, if the other person wont speak up it's either he's awkward/anxious too or not interested. i tell myself don't stress about it and a good tip is to try to milk the convo but try to not repeat the same stuff over again or you'll look dumb(don't stress bout tho)
also most importantly LISTEN..
You ask queStions. Have a list of 10 handy questions and ask them - people like to talk about themselVes.....
My favorite lines:
"It's not about becoming less afraid but more courageous."
"There isn't a specific reason why you should just feel good about yourself... Observe courage in yourself."
I love how he really wants to help these kids
Especially if those kids contribute to his Patreon.
n todd I didn’t realise there was a pay wall behind these lectures! (Gtfo)
@@ohyeahyeah973 Yes, and with Peterson you definitely get what you pay for.
n todd The answer is no, and the patreon (which I think he’s off of now) exists only for you to be able to support him if you want to.
@@ohyeahyeah973 you are 100% correct, he shut down his patreon as a matter of principle accepting a large loss in revenue. The above commenter is ignorant of his underlying message of personal strength and duty to the community.
Take comfort in knowing you are not alone. There are many others who go through social anxiety and struggle almost on a daily basis.
Hey, liked this video a lot. Just thought I'd share the most useful thing I ever learnt for un-stifling yourself and managing anxiety levels to the point where they basically don't exist. Almost all the social anxiety you experience is because of one thing, worrying about how other people's judgements might affect your chances of surviving or reproducing. All you have to do is act in a way that forces people to notice you, so make solid eye contact like Jordan says, get your voice out there, force yourself to speak to people even if you just ask for directions/the time, if you see an old lady at a crossing go over and help her cross. Within about 20 minutes of taking lots of action that forces multiple people to judge you, part of your brain realises that your safe when you express yourself, anxiety levels drop, the flood gates open and everything is way more fun.
Noticed the same thing when i got a promotion and basically was forced to be social all the time...was too embarrassed to turn down a promotion cos i'm scared of ppl ... lol
@@kissakissa4779 I'm in exactly the same situation now.
Thank you kind writer
Thanks buddy
I used to have social anxiety for over 7 years. I found a great resource online that lowered my anxiety level and now I can leave the house. Go here now to learn some great treatment options for social anxiety: MootSpeak.xyz
I love this man, how can so many people hate him, they are extremely misinformed people, I hope, it's worse if they are informed and still dislike him
People hating JP? Really? Why? (Non sarcastic)
@@Jozua777 because he opposed the legislation Bill C-16 that Canada brought about which forces people to conform to the use of gender pronouns, making it illegal to use the wrong pronoun. People on the left called him transphobic, when really his argument was for free speech and that language should not be legislated.
Is that a reason to hate someone? Haha okay. Well good job JP :)
@@Jozua777 well it is radical leftists who are hell bent on pushing their politically correct agenda who dislike him, twist his words and try to discredit him, idiots
@@dan.......... ...and he LIED about what was actually in C - 16. Don't believe it? Read the damn thing.
I was once a pretty popular, very confidant guy, very social and had like 4 different groups of friends. Some time in my mid 30’s (I’m 50 now) for some odd reason I became less sociable to the point of pushing people away and actually “burning bridges”purposely. Anxiety grabbed ahold of me in my early 40’s (to this present day). Now I have exactly 2 friends (by choice, and they live a couple of thousands miles away from me) and I stay inside, alone, until I need to go to buy food to keep existing. When I am in public (ANYWHERE) I begin to literally sweat when making small talk or engaging in conversation. I’ve dealt with major depression since my early 20’s and that has also gotten to such a point where I’m past being sad, mad, confused…I’m just honestly numb. I self medicated THC for way too many years (it made these problems multiply I believe) and have recently quit. I’m very comfortable being alone but I don’t like that I’m comfortable being alone. I’m physically fit, have been told I am handsome and I’m intelligent enough but none of that helps AT ALL. Thanks for reading.
I can relate , same here mate 🥲
Recommend actual therapy instead of trying another drug that only shows results in trials with huge amounts of professional guidance. But you can't eat therapy in two seconds and be done with it, so I suppose that's too much effort for most people to exert for their own health.
THC feels like a real anxiety help when I started but then I realized it was numbing me to everything...I've been stopping.
@@Lemond.0770 same here bro. When I started THC about 2 years back it showed real signs of help. But now It just feels different. Have tried quitting a couple times but it's difficult. I find myself thinking about the past way more than ever in my life
can relate with your whole story brother and i am 31
This man is literally a human kind masterpiece.
"... like bad chords in the melody of our conversation..." wadda great line!!!
He probably read it somewhere
@@aguamenti2106 Not necessarily. People can come up with analogies themselves.
How platonic 🍆 💦
having enough strength to continue living is winning in my opinion..
Well said!
This right here. To speak more confidently in public 'never speak to the group, speak to a person, focus on the person'. It's absolutely helped me change my thinking and be more confident in public speaking.
Anxiety is the shadow being asleep .....face the fear and be free.
It will go away. .humans are able to adapt
Anxiety is the shadow being asleep. what do you mean by this?
Yes im curious about that too
"He told me he woke with fear in the morning, and went to bed with fear in the night... I asked him 'how can a man be brave if he's afraid'. 'That's the only time a man can be brave' he told me."
~Robb Stark
Spot on
No courage without fear.
I dont even get invited to the party lmao
Come to my party
Same because my friends got tired of inviting me and not going lol
@@lolitalo7793 ye not anymore i decided to go and now i get invited more lol
animal magnetism lmao
Same bro
*Working* *At* *McDonald's*
Me: "Welcome to McDonald's how may I take your order?"
Customer: "Yeah what's good?"
Me: "Pretty good man just chillin, what's good with you?"
Customer: "No, like what's good to order?"
Me: *dies inside*
Justin S you need to place yourself higher on the dominance hierarchy.
Justin S - Na, your response was perfect. Very chill, very Jeff Spicoli.
Cheers for this, I've been looking for "curing social anxiety" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever tried - MootSpeak.xyz I've heard some great things about it and my friend got great results with it
Justin S "oh uhhh..."
Yyyeeessss
Awesome tip. Another reason why people become anxious is because they're not in the moment. It's impossible to be in the present moment and anxious at the same time since anxiety happens due to internal dialogue. It can also happen from outside stimulus, for example if you're in danger, but those are rare circumstances.
i feel like people bounce from Anxiety to Depression, mostly running away from Anxiety by being depressed. If that makes sense..
I kept suppressing my anxiety and it eventually made me emotionally numb. Now I'm not fighting anxiety and it's gotten better
I like that , I think depression and anxiety feed each other and enable each other
Yeah it's a loop. If someone has anxiety the depression comes. And If someone has depression the anxiety comes too.
@@Albert2139 how are u fighting it because i am in the same boat right now
Yea Anxiety share a relationship with depression that is similar to what mania share with depression. If a coexisting mania and depression is called bipolar disorder, what is the name for condition where anxiety and depression coexist?
This video is so important to me, I was in my final year of highschool. Throughout all of high school I had tried my hardest to fly below the radar, I hung out with my group of friends and didnt interact with anyone else, my reputation was that of someone who was unknown outside of my group of 10 or so friends and a few others. I was terrified of social interaction and I hated it. It was holding me back i felt miserable at the prospect of remaining in this bubble of safety my entire life. What Jordan says here in this video just really brought home to me what I had to do. It's such simple advice but for some reason it really spoke to me. Do what feels uncomfortable and you will improve and grow the rule applies with anything you are trying to learn but the way he explained it in a social setting made so much sense. My legacy at high school was already made up to be the quiet kid but the future held so much more. My mum had told me about a program where you worked in a school in England for a year with 2 other random people. I had always wanted to experience living in England it did interest me but the social part made me feel uncomfortable and just felt too far outside my comfort zone so initially I refused, after this video I ran into the kitchen and told my mum to sign me up. I've now been outside the comfort zone of Sydney my home town for 9 months. I am living in England I feel like a new person I still have a way to go with my social skillls but they along with my confidence have improved dramatically. So thank you Mr Peterson you changed my life with this tiny video. I will come back to Australia a changed man
I can relate to your highschool experience. Mine started in junior high. I tried to be invisible not make waves. Was stuck in my own mind...afraid of everyone & everything while trying to wear a mask that i was ok. I wasn't. I suffered greatly and continued to suffer throughout most of my life. I just didn't know what to do to fix myself. I am 59 yrs old now and just now becoming honest with myself to seek help. So I applaud you for beginning your journey of wellness. God bless you. Ur comments inspired me.
Congratulation! keep its up bro
same with me during middle school, i only hungout with a close friend but avoided talking to others.. bc of my anxiety ive had it since i was 12 so about 7 or 8 years now 😬
"The coward believes he will live forever
If he holds back in the battle,
But in old age he shall have no peace
Though spears have spared his limbs."
Hávamál, Stanza 16
Alexander Alaric From which book?
@@elninandwind7865 The Poetic Edda
@@elninandwind7865 Or more specifically the "Hávamál".
If you're interested in it, you should check out Jackson Crawford's translation.
Alexander Alaric Cool, I will check it out 👍
We project our opinion of ourselves on to others and believe they must also have that opinion of us. When we see ourselves as decent human beings who deserve to be treated decently our nervousness and anxiety disappears.
So grateful for Jordan - ive had low confidence and anixety my life but am finally addressing it - good luck to everyone else on the same path
I fought it and WON! It took a lot of time.. it wasn’t overnight but I got rid of it. When I was anxious in school i started noticing my breathing pattern was not normal. I would walk tensed up holding my breath to the hallways and when I ever I got the bathroom to catch my breath I started feeling better. I started deep breathing exercises at home and at school and it’s been uphill for me! TRY IT GUYS!! Good luck on your journey.
Social anxiety has basically guided my entire life. I see that if I hadn't it all my life would be completely different. I lost a lot of opportunities just trying to cope with it. But honestly, I'm tired of it. Comes what comes. I think the great problem with people who have social anxiety is just to show other people that they have it. This is maybe one of the mechanisms which made possible that this entire time they've been so. And for my part, I don't care anymore if people think that I have social anxiety or not. Just embrace it all.
Hi, Guilherme. I can definitely resonate with all you’ve said and would be interested in hearing more about your experiences relating to social anxiety and/or public speaking and/or any anxieties you may still currently face. I’m looking to interview individuals (purely for my own research) to help me build a new workshop I’m working on. It would mean the world to me if we could hop on a quick call and I could ask you a few questions. OR if you know of someone who fits this description, please tag them below/introduce me. Feel free to tag me here with a reply if you’re interested :) Super appreciate your shared insights in advance.
Me too.
I can completely feel that "you get braver" part, I was not anxious before and I can feel why change occured, I am gonna face it now
I was diagnosed with autism as an adult and occasionally get worried that I really just have a combination of other issues, including social anxiety. This video assured me I definitely do not have social anxiety.
>look at people and you’ll know what they’re feeling
No, I get opposite results to that, I get more confused
>if you can’t do that, nobody trained you
No, my family tried really hard . I just couldn’t learn how.
Thank you! We need more examples shared like this as it's frustrating he doesn't mention that there can be differential diagnoses for social anxiety. I'm autistic too and was incorrectly diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder. I tried everything to 'fix' it. I watched so many of these kinds of videos and implemented the advice. I just got more and more traumatized. Years later I finally got the correct diagnosis and then everything finally made sense. One approach does fit all! And that is a massive problem with clinicians speaking generally where the audiences are individuals. I wish his videos at least had disclaimers that the info might not be correct for them and encouraged people to seek out a personal therapist. I think this is one of the reasons why I prefer watching Healthy Game GG videos instead of much JBP now.
*doesnt fit all
I love how he goes a layer deep than most and incorporates ancient symbolism and archetypes in the collective unconscious. We are so lucky to be watching this for free, I almost feel like its free therapy.
I have to admit to you that am extremely alone because of social anxiety. I hope to apply this from now on. Thank you 🙏♥️
yeah same i hear u.. :( i dont have any irl friends from my anxiety. but i really want to overcome my anxiety and attend college.
How are you doing ppl ? Did you overcome this moster called anxiety ?
Same question as @@luka0090
I'm just watching this video, and since this comment is 2 years old, did it work for you? 😅
EVERYONE has ignored me my entire life, so I just gave up trying. 4 years through university and I spoke to roughly 6 people - once. Deliberately picked classes which were solitary.
hey bro, if you need someone to talk to ill be your friend. Do you play any online games?
same I've got in this social anxiety from my childhood but never realized it until 16 yrs old I became and then I dropped my high school-worst on worst I am balding at the age of 17 and I am short ugly stupid dark circles those are genetically there and now I have no aim I can't decide what I should do in my life, I am over from me but still I am trying to fight with myself for at least I'll get myself somewhere I can't study as whenever I do I forget everything, I can't memorize and my family thinks I am coward I have not been out for 3 months sometimes I go with my father for some work I feel like everyone is watching me and judge me I don't know what to do ....
@@DeminMortem If you can, you should find a psychologist to talk to, or someone at your school who is a curator. If you have talked to one and had a bad experience, find someone new. I had massive social anxiety during high school, and i didn't talk to anyone and i regret it so much. And it's much easier to talk to someone who isn't your parent. You are only 17, you have plenty of time to get guidance in life and set your life in the right path. Being sensitive to life is something you need to turn into a strength, because it is a strength under the right conditions. If you need any help just ask here ill answer
@@juicyclaws bro i need friends i am ugly nobody wants to talk to me they ignore me everone stares me when i go out i hate my life
@@DeminMortem hey man I'm gonna echo what the other guy said. I'm happy to chat or play something with you.
It's like the Green Lantern thing from the movie. Hal Jordan wasn't fearless, he was just courageous enough to beat fear again and again.
Fear keeps us alive. Bravery is not the absence of fear. Bravery is when you are afraid but you do something anyway.
As someone with agoraphobia and severe social anxiety this is so spot on. ❤️
I wish you health happiness and love
I start a trade school Monday. I've never been to college..i have a GED. Im recovering from addiction and trying to start over. I've always been anxious and maybe i used drugs before to numb it. I'm tryin to relearn how to live and be successful. Prayers and good vibes are appreciated.
God bless all yall 💚✌🏻
@@deanmacdonald9199 thank you so much 🙏🏻 I've graduated, and I'm working now 💚
wow this is so valubale information for somebody who is just about to overcome anxiety :)
Thank youu !!
I am curing my anxiety with :
self-talking : I try to understand what has triggered the episode and talk to myself pretending I'm my therapist.
Conscious breathing : I listen to brown noise and deep breathe for as long as I need.
Conscious walking : I walk in nature for as long as I need to.
80% less phone pick ups : that constant kind of stimuli puts you in a fight or flight mode.
Bore yourself : allow your brain to think and process information and emotions, giving yourself lots of moments where you literally don't do anything.
Books and Hobbies : use these two as your main source of entertainment.
This auto therapy I've made have saved my life.
I feel like I’ll forget this
Cyborgeous Prime do you mean like writing down the key points in a note pad or something like that??
Cyborgeous Prime do you have any other tips because I’m really trying to implement this into my life but I feel like I’d be bad at it.
Cyborgeous Prime lol ay all good man thanks for the help
Look for Visual CBT by Avy Joseph
@@kevinc721 Put it up somewhere you always walk by. Like next to the door of your room.
You remind yourself every day what your trying to do today. Like looking people in they eyes and not look at your shoes, to keep a better posture with your shoulders back and standing straight.
Download & print an excel calender sheet. Check off the days one by one to keep doing your thing.
You can add some simple workout on the plan so you won't slack off. There could be a diet on there too.
Discipline yourself.
I'm in university right now ( first year) I always fear talking with people that's why I always avoided people but then I become depressed..
But now when I'm in university I strongly want to improve myself!!!
Make lots of friends and enjoy learning & speaking with people.
But somehow my low self esteem, self confidence becomes problem for me . I now have social anxiety.
Even tho I know what I have to speak still I stammer, forgot words . My body shakes & my heart beat is so fast . My mind goes blank.
But now I had enough of all these because of this social anxiety I have missed so many opportunities. I wanna talk confidently in public.
Give my best 💗
thank you Jordan.....overcome anxiety by setting daily goals, making plans, and opening social conversations with everyone
So true! My social anxiety is non existent. I faced my fear head on. But I still have to work on my explanations so other people can understand my point 😁
I got to say. My first impression of Dr. Peterson was way off. Usually I find motivational speeches/speakers cliched and annoying, but JP definitely has a very compelling/inspiring way of addressing the existential angst so many of us experience. There’s enough genuine intellectual & emotional nuance to his words that even when he addresses something very unpleasant/uncomfortable, I feel the need to earnestly listen.
You're insulting him by comparing his majesty to motivational speakers.
Yeah he's not a motivational speaker, he's a psychology professor. He certainly has quite a unique and engaging speaking style compared to typical professors though.
I considered myself as a wimp, then i heard the end of the video, when he talks about knowing the amount of courage there is inside you.
I thought of myself over the last decade, and I realized that, dang, I did things that most of the common people would never dare try to do.
It's hard to realize. I'm not a wimp.
@S JLA I agree with you
I actually became depressed over social anxiety and then became more depressed because I thought about how stupid it was to be depressed over being socially inept. Many beers and life events later I found help through counseling, making TH-cam videos, and Jordan Peterson.
My anxiety stemmed from being in malls. With that in mind, it wasn't me going to malls constantly that helped me eradicate my anxiety for them, but after watching this video, subconsciously by just being in large groups on my own like school, or at work eradicated my anxiety for malls as a whole; also deep and candid self-reflection. I'm not a mall person to this day, but I'm a lot more braver than unafraid as Jordan states when being in such a chaotic environment.
"What happens when you're socially anxious? You go to a party and you..." I'm going to have to stop you right there.
Yea well, you don't have to stop him at all. You'd be ripping out the entire context by doing so.
As there has been a time that you went for parties before discovering that you had a problem with it.
lmao didnt know I was socially anxious. Now I can see why I sometimes burst out a few laughs
@@SuspiriaX I don't think so.
Rather than trying to overcome it, I'm trying to just accept that I have it and move on. And then I'm brought back to reality and realise i gotta fix this. It's a never ending cycle.
I'm going to admit I cried. I cried because 1. He's right and I have a little more clarity, because I'm afraid yes but I'm also lost. 2. Because I feel like I'm not losing my mind and what I'm feeling is real.
I had crippling social phobia from puberty age of 11 and I was unable to talk or make eye contact with my classmates. I couldn’t eat in the cafeteria because I thought everyone was looking at me, but not in a I’m so great way, but rather what did I do wrong feeling. Then I decided to just leave for lunch in high school and it was closed campus, but I honestly couldn’t care less what the consequences were because anything was better than that about to have a panic attack feeling. Once I was given a 10mg Percocet. I immediately was able to start initiating conversations. I told myself this was how God wanted me to feel. I became a full blown opiate addict for the following 10 years.
real anxiety doesn't follow logic. its subconscious and controls you with physical symptoms.
True
That’s why he dismissed attempts to not be afraid.
@@nix4110 he is just talking air really
Nabil Chennoufi Maybe. His speech is pretty informal, but I think the best understandings of many things are lost in overly technical or wordy descriptions; he probably knows what he’s talking about, but since he’s saying it with relative certainty and in an unscientific manner, you think it’s fluff.
In contrast, I agree with him, but that’s probably because I’ve previously had thoughts that kind of mirrored his.
@@nix4110 you don't know what social anxiety is.
Dear Jordan Peterson, I am so thankful for the work you do. Thank you!
I think we all need a caring parents when we are a kid
I used to drink to loosen up before social events, thinking it helped me fit in, but over time, it spiraled out of control. What started as a casual habit turned into something I couldn't escape. Now, I'm working on reclaiming my life without relying on alcohol. 💪
I cant even go to the gas station when its busy or call anyone on the phone, let alone ever go to a party or introduce myself to a stranger.
Yes you can! It will be hard but if start fighting back you can break out
Same for me with everything you said
I have no social circle and people seem to not be interested in me. I'm 23 and never had an intimate experience in my life. Currently I'm at such a dark place that it's nearly imopossible to get worse and my mental health has started to affect my physical health. That's why I started to work on my social anxiety. I'm in uni and I started approaching some people (not groups) even though it terrifies me. This far it wasn't really successfull but I gotta keep trying because it's the only way to make my life non miserable. In todays lecture I'm planning on sitting next to a person who also sits by themselves. I hope I can muster up the courage
I have social anxiety, my personality changes everyday to the person I’m with.i quit my job as it was to many people used to always comment on me. And because I’m a nice guy didn’t use to say anything but felt uneasy inside. To nervous to speak red in face and heart racing. The funny thing is tho I love my fashion and take pride in what I wear and how I look but I don’t have the personality because I’m always overthinking when really I shouldn’t care because they are jealous and insecure. I’m okay around postive people who are like’ you are sick bro’ not people who are judgemental. I have no bitterness towards anyone, I just wish I had positive friends so I could enjoy my life instead of living in my room all day and overthinking. Love you guys
22 Uk please hit me up
you're gonna make it bro
Felt the first sentence
Same here bro
@@venkateshgowda7853 thanks bro
He knows exactly where I’m coming from-and, I’m the one traveling through this world.
Sir, this lecture gave a ton of motivation to face my enemies and also deal with my social anxiety. Simply the best.
I can watch the same Jordan Peterson video every few months because there’s always something new that I pick up or didn’t see before
"That take the affect edge off the tragedy of life." Poetry
I think I might need behaviour therapy. My parents neglected me as a child, leaving me to my own devices where I just spun around in my own little world, unaware of an outside existence. My mother was constantly high, and my dad was never there for me as a child. Then when I was 11, my mother left and gave me abandonment issues where I developed symptoms of AVPD from social rejection.
Watching this two time in a Row,, making me feel Good about myself,, good daily reminder if you having anxiety
5:07 his knowledge and the ability to share it in simple terms. this man is a gift to the world.
I don't even go to the party 😓😓 coz of anxiety.
Me too
well go to the party
i'll be socially awkward and people WILL judge me its happened before and it WILL happen again
yes but this time you go and actively be socially awkward and try to express your own personality and element so you can get over this fear
but people will judge me
great, and this is the point, and you get judged once and twice and 50 times until you get over this fear of judgement.
well i HAVE been judged a million times already why aren't I getting over it?
because you have't done it actively yet
well how do i do it actively while there's a huge microphone screaming into my head the things i should be saying and doing and thoughts of total inadequacy and screaming DON'T DO SOMETHING STUPID LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO!!!!
you try doing that with people you're comfortable with the most
there's no one I'm comfortable with except my mom and i already tell her all kinds of crap but with other people i don't do that because i'm too scared and there's this microphone screaming into my head and i can't think of anything except my fucking defense mechanisms
i know man i'm there too and i dont know what to do seriously i'm 20 years old i have the same conversation with my therapist everytime and there's nothing getting better i know.
i hate my life so much i'm even anxious to write THIS even though im totally anonymous....
Ahmad Salah I’m in the same boat man it sucks
@@AhmadAmr98, stop watching porn... serious tip
You're not losing anything, most parties are pure cancer.
I’m Autistic, and therefore have difficulty with reading and processing people even if I do pay attention, but all this still applies and this advice still helped me
I don't have social anxiety, but my face gets red when I talk in front of an unknown group (talking to unknowns at a lunch table, a group of girls/guys that I don't know, etc, but not class presentations since I've known everyone there since middle school). I'm perfectly fine in 1 on 1 convos or 1 on 2, but in larger groups it kind of depends
Wery wise man..every nation on this planet is in need for at least 1000 like him...He has incredible impact on people world wide...
my social anxiety just kicked back in watching this video lol he did such a good job of describing every detail
I found simply taking Paroxetine every day ameliorated my social anxiety by some 85%. Yes simply one pill a day did this. So Social anxiety with me was definitly a low serotonin thing. Mind you it took 3 months of taking the pills before they cut in.
What I've realized the more I watch these videos is that the topics he talks about in a single video are deep enough for me to keep me occupied in my thoughts for an entire week. Watching too many videos in a day is just too much to contemplate and I overlook alot of the content. One video a day is enough for me.
i agree. i end up forgetting everything from a binge session. better to do only once a day. just like coke
This man has been an absolute inspiration to me. Today I had an interview for a career that will end up being the last place I ever work and I was extremely nervous and unsure. I gave this video a look and I walked in with my head held high, my shoulders back and open to whatever may come. I will forever be thankful that God made this man.
Hi @DissonantSubLT. I can definitely resonate and would be interested in hearing more about your experiences relating to social anxiety and/or public speaking and/or any anxieties you may still currently face. I’m looking to interview individuals (purely for my own research) to help me build a new workshop I’m working on. It would mean the world to me if we could hop on a quick call and I could ask you a few questions. OR if you know of someone who fits this description, please tag them below/introduce me. Feel free to tag me here with a reply if you’re interested :) Super appreciate your shared insights in advance.
In a way it is like taking a cold shower. The very thought of it sends shivers down the spine. But once that water lands on your back, you feel slight discomfort for a second but then you do not feel it anymore.
Voluntary Exposure is key.
There’s some people chronically anxious and depressed they almost can’t break out of it. And they start to wonder what they need to live for. Since they just can’t function
What he fails to mention is the energy it requires to fight social anxiety on the daily. Energy that could be used to be better at your job or a more attentive driver. Some other aspect of your life will suffer in order to successfully deal with social anxiety.
just do it straight up dont over think anything, its better to regret doing something then regret not doin something
This is actually really good advice for performers as well. Play to individuals instead of the collective and it’s better received
There's something about the GROUP that always triggers my flight or fight response. I feel overwhelmed like I can't defend myself against so many people. The part about not wanting to seem like a threat and looking down is spot on. Gonna have to look everyone that comes close to me in the eyes & say hello so I can see what they're thinking. It's the not knowing that makes my brain go into overdrive. Im 26 been having this issue since highschool. Can't believe I never sat down to figure this out till now. Standing in the grocery line feeling like I'm about to be attacked is not normal.
ALL HAIL THE FOREHEAD.
Oh btw, chewing gum helps with anxiety. It simulates eating, which is normally done in a safe space.
Noticed that too.
Kras Keqi Fight or Flight Or Rest and Digest. Chewing stimulates the vagus nerve which can relax you more.
Thanks for the tip dude!
Thanks for the tip
Appreciate that tip.
The more I listen to these self help gurus, the more I get confused without help.
I already went through a month without barely getting any sleep due to anxiety. Years have passed, things got better, became better at socializing, but sometimes that debilitating anxiety still hits incredibly hard.
Couldn't sleep either
this guy
wow
...... smart man
thank youu
What really sucks is when you were very socially outgoing then something traumatic happens and induces anxiety then you have to learn everything again without becoming a loner.
Same happened with me. I was very good with small talk and now I have to learn how to act in the world again, it’s like I have to learn everything as if it’s new. Because I can’t trust reality. Or something like that.
My brother said it best to me when he said “you need to believe your better than everyone and not take people so serious because your intiminated by the thoughts of other people” everyone is always going to have something to say about you no matter what you do, dont cater yourself to assholes and dont change your personality based on who your talking to. Stop thinking everyone you meet has a significance and take control of your own thoughts and actions. If you see a pretty girl, your first thought should never be to downplay how you look or how interesting you are, your first thought should be, she belongs with me because im great for this, this and this reasons. You dont even have to go talk to her, you could just say Hi or compliment something about her. You may not of made a connection or gotten anywhere, but you gave yourself the ability to start an interaction with someone who you were intimidated by.
1. always know your postures good, stop caring so much about what people say or do react inteligently and logically know your worth you'r as strong as you choose to be.
2. be aware of your surroundings and aware of how you come off and adapt.
3. be you be confident, open others thoughts.
4.remeber your you but to be the best you you just need to take care of your phsyical and your mental but cant have one well kept without the other truly.
I'm grateful for having found this magnificent Teacher and Storyteller, Jordan Peterson now, but I can only imagine how my life would've been today if I've received this advise in my shy, insecure and anxious teen years in the 80's...anyways, better now than never!
Get out of your head by pushing your attention outwards. Focus your vision on others. And this will open up your consciousness. This allows you to get out of your head. Look at the anomaly, what’s dangerous. Looking at what’s scaring you will teach you what you don’t know about yourself. The greatest rewards are on the other side of fear. Look at it in the eye. Do not coward
observing courage in yourself is definitely one of the things that can help you sleep better at night
I feel like I'm making a lot of improvement but every improvement is offset by a habit of going back to the comfort zone of not talking, not being heard, and not expressing myself.
I know this feeling. It happens frequently with me too. But this guy has helped me a lot. th-cam.com/video/4udzZQHCuSY/w-d-xo.html
I shared this to a friend that suffers the same problem, I'm glad he found it helpful.