That's been my mantra lately: "I didn't do anything wrong." Even with the smear campaign, if someone was asked what I did wrong, I'll bet they couldn't name it. People have judged and shunned me based on rumours and that says more about them than me.
It’s devastating. The worst I ever experienced in my whole entire life. The betrayal is almost unbearable. 1 1/2 years later I‘m still not fully recovered
Hang in there you've got this far think about how much better you feel I still miss my narc but I look back in my diary and think noooo way do I want that back in my life I forgave her and still love her but I can't go back you will get there I'm sure of that stay strong
Yes, it is unbearable. It is something that does stick with you, forever. But you do eventually find a proper place for it so it does not consume you. It has been over 30 years for me and I can still bring it all back like it was yesterday. That is how it is for an empath, because we feel. The alternative is to be like the narc. Not what I want to be.
Ya, after a sickening 15 year marriage, I had that light bulb moment. Not knowing what a narc was, I told my then husband, "I finally figured it out. I'm not the problem. You're a sociopath." He denied it of course. Within days I fled State while he was gone. Left the house and everything. Peace is priceless.
Aloha Congratulations on your escape. I escaped after 42 years of hell. I didn't know about evil narcissists. Today I tell myself every day, I love my life, I love my life .No more hurtful words or closed fist threats . All because they hate themselves, and everyone around them. We are winners woohoo
@@lorab1912 same here unfortunately. Breadcrumbing me for years . I wasn't fully educated about narcs till I was in my 60's and didn't recognize what really happened with him till the last few years. I'm 69. This was a huge long-term mistake. It's almost a year I cut him off. It's unfortunate we had this happen to us. Wish you good luck ..
Deep in my heart I always knew it wasn't me. The narcissist will make you feel horrible and twist the storyline, to the point where you're feeling unwell, exhausted and questioning yourself.
She discarded me in 2009, just as she finished her medical residency. I worked so hard for so long to support her goal.... and was just cast aside like trash. I was blamed and humiliated. I left my career after the divorce and bought a cabin in the forest. I live a solitary existence now and I'm begging the Lord to help me understand.....let me heal.
@@Hatbox948 hello. Thanks for the note. No, unfortunately l am doing poorly. Content creators like this are helping me connect dots and put some things together but my recovery has been slow and painful. I'm an educated man, a scientist, and I'm having a difficult time moving forward without understanding what happened to me and why I feel dead inside. I had to leave work in 2012 due to my health and my savings are now gone. Rough times....
@@TheLikkinBranch I guess everyone has to heal at their own pace. I've only recently discovered what narcissism was. I knew my relationship was strange, but had no word to describe it. Now I do. I'll keep you in my prayers. It sounds like you really loved that person, and that makes the betrayal doubly hard.
I am now 68 years old , I don’t have a clue why or how I’m still alive !! I met my poison”d dwarf when I was 17 years old , married for 34 years of absolute hell , cancer twice, skin conditions, shattered nerves , and another multitude of weird illnesses. I was a mere shell and a feeble puppet of the person I started out as . Got free from her in 2002, just found out about narcissism on 2022, but she definitely was the most wicked type of narcissist. It all makes sense now , what a damn fool I feel . Flying monkeys all around me , it all makes complete sense , the way so called family friends are behaving towards me , what a complete fool I feel , a total waste of my life and years blaming myself , no matter what I did for her , she was still the wickedest person I have ever met . The way I cam describe my years of complete misery and confusion , is that I’ve taken part in the longest ever horror film , but I was the only one that wasn’t given the script !!! 🦋❤️🦋
I'm sorry that happened to you. Great analogy with the movie script! Perhaps the years were not such a waste since you have this valuable wisdom now. And 70 is the new 50! Still lots of time to have a good life. Cheers!
You have come through so much and are here right now. Never give up on yourself. You have a right to live in peace, as God intended....we all do. As for those flying monkeys, leave them to it. Distance yourself from them and only surround yourself with those who you know have your best interests at heart. God bless you and stay strong. Live in peace and start to enjoy the simple things and go from there. Onwards and upwards and leave them to it. You deserve better and to be happy! 🙏😊
Ino what you saying I was 13 when I met her l. Loved her so much had 2 girls with her beaver was. Hell at times. But l love her I wes a bit slow she's was clever than me. Shoud the way in life. Thought she was helping me in live. Adutry and a child not mine. On my own now at 73 but still pesttring me live in same place flats Tring to cope with live keep safe always ❤️😴
We Empaths will no longer be a free meal ticket to these toxic narcs ,or to anyone,,never again,,blessings to all here,,you are all beautiful Souls,night,night,🤗✨🌺💜😇☘️
A rollercoaster from Hell. This is a perfect analogy. The blame shifting is one of the worst aspects of this disaster I call "the long con". He would have screaming rage fits and then say"I don't have a yelling problem; you make me yell" It was one of his abusive mantras.
She (the narcissist) would have rage fits at me and the yelling she did tore at my soul. I set a boundary and told her if she wanted to talk, I would listen. If her talking turns into yelling, I will go into another room. Found out she would just follow me and yell. I left her after 13 years of marriage because she was yelling at me about a spoon that she stirred her coffee with was not placed exactly the way she had left it. I hope she and her spoon are now happy
angelalewis 💪…RFH…also “the long con” say it all! 💪 congratulations on your narc freedom and escape from ToxiCity Best Wishes for all future endeavors❤️
angelalewis4213 You are so welcome 🙏🏻 I totally relate to your comment plus the yelling I hate yelling I told him, I can hear you, you don’t have to yell. So happy for you that you are away from the narc and on the road to healing Wishing you every happiness ☀️💪❤️
I'm pretty certain my narc/BPD discarded me because she COULDN'T get her hands on my money and time. I was generous with both, but never truly trusted her so I'm glad I never showed my hand (ie. Savings). She still had the cheek to call me "stingey", which I resented, but I let that and so many other things slide except my independence. I'm truly one of the lucky ones and feel so much for those in the comments who had it worse. May you all heal ASAP.
When I found that the narc's words & actions weren't lining up..... I became devastated realizing we were not on the same page. All an act....a betrayal! If anything nice happened for me, I was shown resentment or disapproval. Their way was the only way, their thoughts were always the best. They were in constant competition with everything.... EXHAUSTING! 🎀😘
When you finally realise - it’s absolutely priceless lovely people. You kind of transcend it all and just get back to you without the rumination or intrusive thoughts. It’s a new life! Please just stay strong 💕
It's like something suddenly jolts you into a reality that was staring you in the face this whole time. I'm just going thru that stage where you ask yourself "How did I not see how toxic and awful the situation really was?" "Why did I allow myself to be abused for so long?" The only answer I can come up with is; I truly wanted things to get better, and held on so tightly to the memories of the love bomb stage. Sadly i came to realize that the love bomb had morphed into a renewable atomic bomb with a short fuse that went off anytime of the day or night. I am really happy to be free.
I tried to keep appeasing him, and it just got draining. I knew something was not right, but like many of us, kept fighting for the relationship. You will get stronger. Believe in yourself ❤
Another great video, Andrew. Studies show that dating apps are a primary source for psychopaths and narcissists. They thrive here. Avoid dating apps at all costs. Blessings to All ❤✨️😌
Yeah, my ex has several Instagram accounts, several facebook accounts and I'm sure I would find him on several other sites, if I cared to look. Shortly after getting married to him, turns out he had been on several dating sites, in particular his favourite, a site to meet Russian women! Apart from TH-cam, I'm not on any social media sites. There is only one reason to have more than one account per site and that is to be different people, to spread a wider net. One account he might chat with racy women, another account he has 'family' centred women etc. How sad!!! 🙄
I avoid dating apps, I met a narcissist on one and he taught me everything I needed to know about narcissism. I discarded him with the assistance of AA Michael. 💜🕊🌟🦋🙏🏻
Lying and having multiple secret relationships has unfortunately become normalised by things like dating apps. I'll never use them again, although I didn't meet the Narc ex on one, there are many people who show the red flags on them. It's a sad indictment of how toxic the dating world has become.
When I started with Andrew, I was drowning from abuse and his videos were like a life preserver. I held on tight until I reached a safe place mentally and emotionally and was able to breath again. Oh praise God for good people like Andrew, who aren't afraid to save lives and make life worth living again.
It’s a heavy load to carry being the one to be the official blame holder. Great message Andrew❤🙏 I no longer accept the responsibilities of blame and shame that narcissists or toxics so easily used me as a dumping ground for in the past. Removed myself from that role. Guess they’ll have to figure it out. I’m not available 😉- and the shoulders loosen up the less you carry. Have a great evening all!
Chelsea, I wish you much success in the future. I'm in the process of divorce and settling on the home we just bought almost 2 years ago. It's rough, but there's a bright, shining light at the end waiting to fully shine upon me! Amen.
@@gregmosk thank you 🙏. It’s good you’re here getting quality wisdom from Andrew - and a very good place here to get encouragement / strength forward as you navigate through your next steps.
Growing up in a narc family I didn't know what love was. I thought that the empty, sad and lonely feeling in my heart was proof of some kind of love. Slowly learning what real (self)love is....💗🙏🌳 Thank you
It was the roller-coaster from hell. I didn't care if I lived or died. I am thankful for a friend who told me to go to a counselor. Once I discharged all that sadness and I could finally plan for my escape, I was world's better. December of 2009 put my plan in action, making sure I had a new phone, a lawyer, and an apartment to go to that following February 2010. I have survived 2 narcissists in the past 13 years. I am working on a good relationship with a good friend. We are there for each other, and there are boundaries. And I am happy that we both have our own personal time to grow. To reflect and recharge ourselves. My love and prayers go out to Andrew. And all the veterans and newbie Tribe members that you have a good day, a good weekend, and you hang tight and be strong. Make good plans to keep yourself alive and well and away from the narcissist!
The abuse is so inhumane sometimes it really blows one's mind. You must trust God will make a way of escape from the situation. They can be so cruel and than just ignore it happened. They drain you financially, emotional, spiritually and physically. When you go no contact they still find a way to disturb you. 😕 I'm praying for a miracle. ✝️
Thank you. I was having a really bad realization day so I grabbed my phone to come here. There’s no where else I could thrash around in this in a safe place. I know countless people know what I’m talking about. You’re doing great stuff here…reaching down in our dark places and reaching a kind hand to help us out. May God bless you as you bless others.
Find the light. My support group started because I reached out for help. We gather every Sunday in my office and is a powerful experience to share in person with others. Namaste
Oh boy, I do the same thing. Like you said, the thoughts and memories come back slowly and before you know it, we are reaching for safety. I’m glad I’m not the only one.
It get’s better I promise- exit the relationship & hang out with supportive ppl - the longer you stay the more of self you lose / take ur power back & exit !!! You are strong you are not alone & many of us understand!!! Ty Andrew for ur inspiration!!!!
31 months post narc, no contact. Rite after the domestic violence, and trauma, my mom, and grown son said that none of it was my fault. When I finally realised that that was true, it was an amazing feeling!!!
In order to break weeks of the silent treatment, I would write apology letters - not even knowing the cause of the abuse. I just wanted my family to get back on track in some healthy way for my kids. The narcissist kept those letters and would use them against me when a future problem arose. A sword to create guilt for the next issue, or a reason to reinitiate the silent treatment. It was insane. The silent treatment occurred generally during the holidays or my birthday. So many terrible memories of times that should have been special. I still feel guilt for some reason but these videos help remind me I could not win and the marriage could not last.
Rollercoaster from hell! I could never keep up with him. I was molded like a piece of clay. I lost myself and carried all of his problems on my shoulders for 21 years. Post narc, my energy is just now coming back. I am trying to eat healthier and walk more for starters. Your channel did pop up for me within 2 days of discard. I knew then...it was Narcissistic Abuse. I was one who thought...wow...a whole community going through the same as me. I cannot thank you enough for your compassion for all of us going through this, and it is a real gift to know where to go or what to do to heal through this. My beautiful sister wrote a letter to my attorney last year that gave a timeline of abuse I took from him because I was in such bad shape from this... couldnt write it myself. At the end of the letter, she said that I will most likely need therapy to restore what he has taken which included loss of time, money, mental health, and peace for over 20 years. Please keep the videos coming, Andrew and thanks for your empathy for others.
Yes, NARCDAILY is a tremendous blessing. I married and divorced my narc husband twice in over 25 years. God gave me this channel too. Like Andrew says in the title "You Are Not Alone." I was blown away that I wasn't alone in this. Fast forward two years and here I am stronger than ever. I'll never stop learning from this channel. Keep healing Sister. We stand with you!
@@MEL2theJ It blows my mind how much alike the narcs are. Are they going to secret conferences to all be on the same page of a shared playbook? It's so bizarre!🤯 We are definitely not alone.💕
@@emilywilson7308 Oh my goodness Sister! I wonder the same things? When I first found NARCDAILY it was a real eye opener that there were actually other people in the world that dealt with these dark forces. We are not alone
Love your analogies Andrew (as always). Although NONE of this 💩 is funny, you crack me up with the analogies, let's face it, that's ALL I have left is to laugh, thanks for THAT! OH, and MY SOUL, he sucked it almost dry, but HE CAN'T HAVE THAT either! ❤✌️🤗 ya'll! STAY strong!!!
I find myself laughing at the way Andrew gets animated too. Just the sound on his voice with the things he says. Almost every time it’s his feelings about the narc coming through, and I love it. Thanks for mentioning that. ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏✊✊✊
All you wanted was a home. A family and stability. It's mind blowing how things crumble to a memory and the changes throughout your life. Sometimes, I look back and can't believe that's been my life and what I'm going through. It seems surreal. Has that actually been my reality ?
@rob_see It's part of the path to enlightenment if you do the hard work. Its a journey. I'm indifferent with more radical exeptance of this. It's okay. I hope people make it through the holidays soon. Challenging times are coming up for many. So many people heal and live the greatest lives and help others get through. The people here and on many other links are changing the world and saving lives, so one man's suffering turns into so many peoples blessings. It is so sad what people have gone through, but I've stayed in that funk feeling sad for everyone, and that's not positive energy anymore for anyone. It feeds that sad low vibration. I'm a slow turtle, but thats OK. I'm growing a stronger boundary shell .
@@Greenleafroad thank you for sharing, brother. God bless you, yes let's focus on healing and doing what we can! :) I am so encouraged that you still have a positive attitude after all you went through.
Great message. These are the key points that we all experience with a narcissist. The aftermath is a devastating experience that takes a great deal of time and work to recover from. All narcissists relationships implode spectacularly. My now ex husband is 65 years old and still uses the same tactics in identifying vulnerable women to use and abuse as he did with me 🙄🤷♀️. We now are gaining the knowledge to ensure that we don’t fall into the same trap with someone else.
They sure put it on you😊 very evil people! I was soooooo naive. Thank you for your knowledge! Sad thing is, they know from the beginning it won’t work. That’s what upsets me.
Great video Andrew. After being discarded and seriously taking the time to heal I realized that every single argument was instigated by him . And it always ended the same him yelling getting angry and blaming me for everything. Sometimes I would come home from work and he would be angry and blaming me for something I didn't do. It almost got to the point where I doubted myself and thought did I really do that. But I know now I was not doing anything wrong it was the narcissist all along. I'm glad I'm free of that monster. Thank you Andrew for the video and thank you everyone for your kind words. Stay strong everyone.
Someone said they got the last laugh and that Andrew gave her that. I agree completely. The last laugh is Andrew convincing us ( and he’s right) that we are a superpower of love and reflection. This is something they can’t do. So I get the last laugh too. Love it.❤️❤️❤️ It can and probably will take a while, but you’ll have the last laugh too eventually. Remember, slow is smooth, and smooth is fast. Meaning be deliberate in your healing, overcome and adapt to the challenges in healing. This is your opportunity when your done, to really shine brighter than anyone. Other people won’t be able to compete with your maturity and understanding and love. ❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏 You’ve been trying to be perfect, but now you can relax, and heal properly.
You sound like a truck driver ❤. There is a driver that oftentimes gives that advice to other drivers "slow is fast, and fast is smooth". I always loved it❤. Oops, I said it wrong ❤
I have said that before and say it again. You are 100% right on all points..it seems like you know me and know the current mess I am in...every single word you say, applies to my life right now..hopefully not for too long...Thank you
Well earlier today I thought this was not definitely me, I did so much and was rewarded by being discarded in a such a brutal vindictive way after 22 years which nearly destroyed me. I have to move forward for my life and deal with certain issues regarding a property that we jointly own! Which I know will outrage him and I expect repercussions (and I am worried to be honest) but I can’t let him control me anymore. I know I have been used for my empathetic nature now. listening to you daily Andrew (you have helped us all so much cannot begin to thank you for your kindness) and my therapist. Andrew your message today! Time now to turn my life about because we all will get through it! It will leave scars but we learn! Never again! Love to all. ❤
We need to learn from our mistakes and from the toxic relationships and put up strong boundaries with anybody we discern as narcisistic or toxic. Those people will not introspect or take responsibility for their actions and will continue to Accuse, shame, blame, minimize etc. Narcisists will not grow. They lack love and life. Thank you Andrew. God bless you❤
It has been two and half months since I left. I am so ashamed that I am not completely over him. You will never never know what I went through. I am so ashamed of myself. Rollercoaster from hell. I put on twelve kilos. This man is moving on like I never existed.
Good evening Andrew and everyone. I can totally relate to this topic. NOTHING is their fault. No matter what happens, it's all your fault. So many times I believed I said or did something wrong and I realized it wasn't me. It was my fault that I got sick and it was my fault if he felt sick. YOU CAN'T WIN WITH A NARCISSIST. You end up in Therapy or in a hospital and they couldn't care less. It's been a while since I have seen him, but the best thing I ever did was LEAVE him. This is a GREAT TOPIC ANDREW, and I wish the BEST for all of you BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE..❤❤
Andrew I as well as many others do relate. I completely lost who I was after the betrayal. The lie I lived and never seen it. I only wanted the best and greatest things for who absolutely had no intention to hold the same value. Still 1 1/2 years later I’m trying to love myself again. It’s been some of the hardest things I’ve ever had to accept
You got back to things you love to do! And nothing they say really matters (they rarely do for you), you feel calmness on a cellular level, because you focused on your self-love and self compassion- You Win! Be Well. Peace To All.☀🌠🔥🎬💞❣
The are truly disturbed people who abuse children and the vulnerable, such the elderly. They are seriously dangerous people. Move on, you deserve a blessed life.
They were, are and always will be the victims in all relationships and situations. Run don’t walk for the hill. Thank You Andrew 🙏 for all the great healing videos
This is so right on for me, every word. Let’s get therapy He said he would pay for it. Chatting with women on messenger saying they were HS friends . Silent treatment for days. When you’re in it you can’t see these things, but you’re out like I am thank God you really see it. And you realize it’s not you, it’s them. No empathy at all for my feelings. Shifting the blame onto me. And the love bombing. And yes I did meet him in a vulnerable state, I had just lost my dad months prior. He seemed very caring in the beginning but it slowly his masked slipped off. Never took accountability for his bad behavior. So glad I’m off that ride. Let him be someone else’s problem, or better yet maybe he will meet a narcissist like himself…wouldn’t that be the irony.
During my marriage I thought always, it was my fault, that the relationship didn't work out. But it wasn't like that, as I know now. The Narcissist is very good as making you feel like their behavior is your fault. Because they dont take responsibility, they manipulate and seek control of situations, so that they don't expose their insecurities, a part of NARCISSTIC INJURY. They blame you, that's easier and the worst thing you can do is BLAME YOURSELF. Don't do that !! Don't hurt yourself! Thank you again for this insightful video, Andrew. I hope you enjoy your evening!❤
I actually tried to blame myself. I spent months trying to find something I was guilty of to deserve this. I couldn’t. It’s pretty weird, but maybe it’s because of how much abuse and devaluation the narc gave me that is not allowing me to admit something. It almost makes it worse because I’m thinking, “ well then why?”. I know why, but I still think it. “Why am I not enough? “ of course I know better now how a narcissist thinks and DOESN’T FEEL, and I do value myself now. But it’s stupid that we seem to want to blame ourselves. So we end up on this cycle of healing.
This is a very important concept to take on board - it was never you, it was never about you, it is always about them! There was never anything you could do to be that person they wanted, cos that person does not exist.
You are definitely right about the narcissist they blame you for everything when nothing go there way. My ex-husband narc was a taker did everything for him a Uber driver, gave him money, he didn't never put gas in my car hadcto argue with him all the time. Blame me when he be at his doctor appointment he didn't understand what reception ask him to do he cussing them out and turn around an blame me. Anything that goes wrong blame me. They are toxic human being have no love for no one but theirself.
Mine was very verbally abusive. Always trying to build himself up and knocking me down. "I'm from Brooklyn, everyone in the world knows where that is!" Vernon, NJ? Where's that? I could get into a whole chapter in a book on that subject. Therapists, I remember him leaving one, because, he didn't like what she was saying. Lol! It was the same exact things, I was telling him. I went to a therapist once. I felt bullied into it. I didn't go again. This brought up a lot of bad memories, I had forgot about.
I met my ex narc on a dating app. I didn't know about narcissism back then. Now I am empowered with the knowledge. I am free after 12 years. I am a better person right now that I have the knowledge. Thank you Andrew ❤
True. The narcisists continued to hammer us until we said NO MORE! And when we are done, that is the moment when the narcisist is done. It is only up to us to STOP this insanity! God bless you❤
He went above and beyond. We were out and I showed him a beautiful orchid. When he went home he purchased an orchid and sent me a picture saying this will remind me of you, beautiful! He drove me to a wedding 9 hours away, told me all about himself and said he felt like I had my guard up. Then he said " I will never intentionally hurt you. ' Little did I know...
We gave it our best shot..went above and beyond the call of duty. Forgiveness and excuses that were never appreciated..it’s such a relief to let go and realise nothing was enough for these types..it was never our fault.. ❤ from 🏴
Maybe you were a person to help them fit their community’s mold “being married,” a wife prop, with absolutely NO LOVE WHATSOEVER. Even the love bombing was cold. They are snakes! 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍
My narc ex did whatever love bombing he was capable of until we married. On our honeymoon, he said this to me.... it gave me chills.. "You're MINE now"😁 I was just a piece of property for him like a truck. Then his real self came out, and he was abusive. I think I was so damaged. I thought I could change him, and our love would fix it. I was embarrassed and ashamed that I had made such a horrible mistake. I didn't want to admit to myself How badly I screwed up so I went into denial. My parents had been putting pressure on me to marry and i wanted to.please them too.I thought things would get better. No, no, they get worse. And the mental emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse. Because you can't look in the mirror and see the damage. My parents and family had been so disrespectful and had so few boundaries with me I was used to being treated like this. I thought since he didn't physically abuse me that I was not being abused. I was soooo messed up.
Extracting all existing resources of wich most valuable - TIME! When I got sick and got surgery no sign of him! Took great tool on my overall health! At the end, classic DARVO tactics. They are real monsters. And seems operating from the same handbook. Now closed all the chapters! And got off that rollercoaster of hell! It was him and only him, allways and everything about him! Thank you, Andrew ❤
I am the type of person ( empath) that can’t imagine doing that to someone, especially my relationship partner. I’m so sorry you had to brave this alone. ( I don’t mean without family) the person who was supposed to drop everything for you didn’t. I just can’t imagine doing that. Love for you. You deserve better. ❤️❤️🙏🙏
Absolutely spot on Andrew, so much of this resonated with me, push pull, hot and cold, ping pong rollercoaster from hell. So exhausting and heartbreaking ❤️🩹
Yes it is a rollercoaster from hell 💯 I'm so glad we are off it now, healing and being able to get the wisdom from Andrew, who has devoted himself to this cause. I will never forget the pain and suffering. The devastation has no words to describe it, that will do it justice. Thank God we have found our way here, so that we can all move forward together on the healing path. Take care, God bless 🙏
A greater challenge is when it's both parents one is inverted narcissist and the other is a grandiose narcissist and sibling seems to be a mixture of both narcissists
Wait until they grow up and become adults and use your grandbabies against you. The teens are horrible but when they are able to manipulate you with kids it’s even harder.
Thank you Andrew - this video is brutal when you’re stuck - but it’s bang on point. This resonates - it’s uncomfortable for those not quite there? So appreciated x
It takes TIME and learning from the BEST who have experienced it. I personally have been without my ex narc for 12.6 years, but you need to take baby steps. Keep coming back to this room and you will learn more than you know. Andrew is the BEST.
Hi Andrew, as you are always saying the healing path is not linear and as Sam Vaknin says, after narcistic abuse you don´t need healing, you need restoration. Maybe different words but i believe this is what you mean when say you went trough the fire and come out as the third version of yourself. meanwhile as always thank you very much for your daily inspirations, your consitence and your persistence, your own personal strength to share this information with so many people. Your Channel is one of the reasons i believe TH-cam really can help People through information making this place called earth a friendlier space.
The mother of my oldest child turned into a complete monster mere days after he was born. If I had known what narcissism and it’s characteristics were I could have seen it coming as there were many red flags. The biggest red flags was the frequent silent treatment, disappearing whenever I was sick and never ever accepting any criticism or correction. If you’re dealing with someone with those attributes you need to get out of it. I don’t care how in love you think you are.
Whew they tried to trash my boundaries right away and used me to drive them around after their license probably got taken away and they borrowed the car to look good and not like an alcoholic to their past potential mates.. many people take seven times of breaking up with them, I researched.. hopefully it won’t be that way for a lot of people. My gut feeling about them at first was right.. thanks, Sir
Blessings 🕊️ Thank you so much for this video. The relationship is always one sided and they are just TIME wasters. I hope everybody had a good day and a better day on tomorrow. Good night ❤️✌🏽🙏🏽
We are lifeguards together, he moved in within a couple months. When we first met, he would have beers before work, I would say things and he had this “you know I’m crazy” attitude. That soon changed to him yelling at me for things he assumed that were not true. He hated my movies, wouldn’t go on trips, said he didn’t like my music. And today, he is allowed to do whatever he wants at work, do shots, leave early I can’t call him out but if I so much as wear my name tag wrong he tells everyone. Every single thing you said is true here. He took all my time and my house for awhile, we watched his movies would only eat his type of food. (Only fast food) I had in and out for 4 days in a row during our relationship it was disgusting. It was either that or I cook.
Thank you for this video Andrew and the many truths and exposed narc tricks within it. “When you realize it wasn’t you,”“ really needed to be emphasized like you did, so many grieving and punishing themselves over lies perpetrated on them. All these truth statements you made in this video are so helpful and aid in healing and clearing the cobwebs to see reality “When you realize it wasn’t you,”“It was not your fault,” “you cannot believe anything that comes out of their mouths,” “there was never a level time where everything was a level calm” Thank you, Andrew! ✝️🙏🏻🕊️☀️😎🌷🦋💪🌳❤️🌎
This happened to me countless times. It's so heartbreaking when someone thinks someone is a good friend and they turn on them after this person made time, for them and was always very good to them.💔💔💔💔
I will be for ever grateful to a great friend of mine, who is a psychologist, who told me “He is a narcissist and you have no fault”. At first I did not get it since the common thinking is that when a relationship does not work both partners share responsibility. Then, one day it dawned on me. Whichever are your defects and virtues, when a narcissist wants another supply it does not matter how you are and what you did for twenty one years. You will be discarded no matter what.
It wasn't me. And, if I did anything off the wall it was in reaction to the ex narc's overblown theatrics. When we met, naturally we both discussed previous marriages. In my case, big mistake as my ex husband got dragged into every tirade of the ex narc. He had absolutely nothing to do with us. It was impossible to have normal conversation with the ex narc. I avoided talking to him altogether. He'd fuss about our "relationship". We never had one. There was zero intimacy. I was just a cook and housekeeper.
Wish we could form a meet up of us here in the Carolinas. Andrew you’ve been an angel and positive force in my healing. Would love to thank you in person. Anyone else from the Carolinas? Let’s try to plan a meetup!
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Yw it’s true! I was abandoned here and know no one! We really should try to do a meetup! I’m in Mooresville NC. That would be amazing! And I wouldn’t feel so isolated, what a disaster. But I truly am stronger because of you. Forever grateful 🖤
I called mine Draino. He wanted his name on the deed to my house. When it was denied due to his poor credit rating and being unemployed and refusing to work, HE LOST IT! Tried to turn it around stating; “ why would I want to put my name on that huge dept if I didn’t love you so much.” Yikes. Bullet avoided! ❤ Andrew. You were, are and remain my strength. Thanx, as always.😊
@@emilywilson7308 Yes ma'am! I go through every video and like most every comment on his channel so the algorithm tilts farther in his favor thus recommending this channel to more people. God blessed me with NARCDAILY l and I know that so many more hurting people need to see this. Just doing my little part ha ha ha
He is doing exactly what you mentioned. He goes to see his friends every month to his hometown who are all retired and has a lot of time. I assume he wants to be admired from them to be living in the Tokyo area. Also he has a female friend from high school nearby and goes out together just the two of them. I claimed that is an awkward and insincere thing to do and boom I was discarded. Maybe she had been his supply for pretty much a long time or as a kind of insurance to him. Anyway I’m happy I’m out of the relationship and will be silent for good. I wouldn’t have been able to think this way without your video,Andrew. Thank you from Japan 😊
Does REALIZING make it hurt less? It still hurts. The proximity hurts. Then if we go no contact….. it’s still not the good relationship that we hoped for. We grieve. They never made me feel it was my fault. It’s not. Still hurts
Retrospectively, I spent so much time blaming myself for allowing a toxic work relationship to nearly ruin my marriage (btw they were married too but it was ok for them to pursue a relationship because they had “walked away from the marriage”). Total idiocy. They had told one of my friends that “I almost had her where I wanted her”. They never accepted responsibility for anything. When “trying to help me understand a Bible verse” I was told, in the name of God, “I am not going to spoonfeed you” which made me feel so worthless. I now realize that all of this was manipulation and abuse. I am not going to blame myself anymore. I am so happy to be out of that fog! Thank you for your encouragement and for your channel, Andrew.😊 Thank God for healing.❤🙏🏽❤
we are responsible for our own emotions and actions at any time all we had to do was say nooo to every request like i did and leave when the love turned toxic it was our own childhood trauma that kept us there longer narcs are 2 yrs old we were having sex with a child there is nothing in them but a brain of a traumatized baby brain trying to survive the narcs soul has been dead since they were a baby there mother mostly hated them and really abused them and let others abuse them sexually physically emotionally everything in them is dead they are zombies run for ur life away from them they dont think they cant most narcs are also borderlines thats why u start going insane if u stay they are all insane a narc will kill u and ur children run for ur life mothers get ur children far away from them
Exactly Andrew! What I heard from the narc: I didn't tell you "my friend" visited me because I wouldn't hurt you like that"! Thereby his lie is my fault. Not! True is truth & a lie is a lie no matter how its dressed up. And yes. I am sn empath. God bless everyone who's been through & going through this nightmare, stay on this channel. And be strong!
We are not GUILTY of anything. We were abused and manipulated. So true! Namaste ♥
That's been my mantra lately: "I didn't do anything wrong." Even with the smear campaign, if someone was asked what I did wrong, I'll bet they couldn't name it. People have judged and shunned me based on rumours and that says more about them than me.
Namaste 😌🙏🙌
They don't care about you!
They don't care about you!
They don't care about you!
@@Dee-mj3pu Much love! Keep speaking truth! Blessings! ♥
👍👍💕
It’s devastating. The worst I ever experienced in my whole entire life. The betrayal is almost unbearable. 1 1/2 years later I‘m still not fully recovered
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Hang in there you've got this far think about how much better you feel I still miss my narc but I look back in my diary and think noooo way do I want that back in my life I forgave her and still love her but I can't go back you will get there I'm sure of that stay strong
💖
Yes, it is unbearable. It is something that does stick with you, forever. But you do eventually find a proper place for it so it does not consume you. It has been over 30 years for me and I can still bring it all back like it was yesterday. That is how it is for an empath, because we feel. The alternative is to be like the narc. Not what I want to be.
You are here.....awareness is 50% of the solution. Come back daily, absorb & believe you deserve your life on YOUR terms.👍❤
Ya, after a sickening 15 year marriage, I had that light bulb moment. Not knowing what a narc was, I told my then husband, "I finally figured it out. I'm not the problem. You're a sociopath." He denied it of course. Within days I fled State while he was gone. Left the house and everything. Peace is priceless.
I totally agree! 💗👍
💡💡💯🙏🙌
I fled the state 17 yrs after divorced. Post Separation abuse lasted as long as the marriage! Roller Coaster from hell.
Aloha Congratulations on your escape. I escaped after 42 years of hell. I didn't know about evil narcissists. Today I tell myself every day, I love my life, I love my life .No more hurtful words or closed fist threats . All because they hate themselves, and everyone around them. We are winners woohoo
@@lorab1912 same here unfortunately. Breadcrumbing me for years . I wasn't fully educated about narcs till I was in my 60's and didn't recognize what really happened with him till the last few years. I'm 69. This was a huge long-term mistake. It's almost a year I cut him off. It's unfortunate we had this happen to us. Wish you good luck ..
Deep in my heart I always knew it wasn't me. The narcissist will make you feel horrible and twist the storyline, to the point where you're feeling unwell, exhausted and questioning yourself.
💯💯😌🙏
She discarded me in 2009, just as she finished her medical residency. I worked so hard for so long to support her goal.... and was just cast aside like trash. I was blamed and humiliated. I left my career after the divorce and bought a cabin in the forest. I live a solitary existence now and I'm begging the Lord to help me understand.....let me heal.
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Hopefully you're better now. A significant amount of time has passed since 2009. It's time for you to live again.
@@Hatbox948 hello. Thanks for the note. No, unfortunately l am doing poorly. Content creators like this are helping me connect dots and put some things together but my recovery has been slow and painful. I'm an educated man, a scientist, and I'm having a difficult time moving forward without understanding what happened to me and why I feel dead inside. I had to leave work in 2012 due to my health and my savings are now gone. Rough times....
@@TheLikkinBranch I guess everyone has to heal at their own pace. I've only recently discovered what narcissism was. I knew my relationship was strange, but had no word to describe it. Now I do. I'll keep you in my prayers. It sounds like you really loved that person, and that makes the betrayal doubly hard.
@@Hatbox948 thank you. Yes, I loved her very much.
I am now 68 years old , I don’t have a clue why or how I’m still alive !! I met my poison”d dwarf when I was 17 years old , married for 34 years of absolute hell , cancer twice, skin conditions, shattered nerves , and another multitude of weird illnesses. I was a mere shell and a feeble puppet of the person I started out as . Got free from her in 2002, just found out about narcissism on 2022, but she definitely was the most wicked type of narcissist. It all makes sense now , what a damn fool I feel . Flying monkeys all around me , it all makes complete sense , the way so called family friends are behaving towards me , what a complete fool I feel , a total waste of my life and years blaming myself , no matter what I did for her , she was still the wickedest person I have ever met . The way I cam describe my years of complete misery and confusion , is that I’ve taken part in the longest ever horror film , but I was the only one that wasn’t given the script !!! 🦋❤️🦋
I had 27 years bad drama.
Blaming myself.
Not anymore.💖
I'm sorry that happened to you. Great analogy with the movie script! Perhaps the years were not such a waste since you have this valuable wisdom now. And 70 is the new 50! Still lots of time to have a good life. Cheers!
You are a survivor and have plenty of wonderful years ahead with no narcissist and no drama. It's never too late to start over.
You have come through so much and are here right now. Never give up on yourself. You have a right to live in peace, as God intended....we all do. As for those flying monkeys, leave them to it. Distance yourself from them and only surround yourself with those who you know have your best interests at heart. God bless you and stay strong. Live in peace and start to enjoy the simple things and go from there. Onwards and upwards and leave them to it. You deserve better and to be happy! 🙏😊
Ino what you saying I was 13 when I met her l. Loved her so much had 2 girls with her beaver was. Hell at times. But l love her I wes a bit slow she's was clever than me. Shoud the way in life. Thought she was helping me in live. Adutry and a child not mine. On my own now at 73 but still pesttring me live in same place flats Tring to cope with live keep safe always ❤️😴
We Empaths will no longer be a free meal ticket to these toxic narcs ,or to anyone,,never again,,blessings to all here,,you are all beautiful Souls,night,night,🤗✨🌺💜😇☘️
❤️🙏🙌
@@gratefultobehere🤗🤗🌺💖💜💖💜🫂
@flower. No more free stuff ! 🍔🍟🍕🌭🥪🥨🍿🍣🍧🍬
A rollercoaster from Hell. This is a perfect analogy. The blame shifting is one of the worst aspects of this disaster I call "the long con". He would have screaming rage fits and then say"I don't have a yelling problem; you make me yell" It was one of his abusive mantras.
A Rollercoaster from hell is a great way of thinking how the relationship went. Love it bcse it's true. 💕👍🌞
She (the narcissist) would have rage fits at me and the yelling she did tore at my soul. I set a boundary and told her if she wanted to talk, I would listen. If her talking turns into yelling, I will go into another room. Found out she would just follow me and yell. I left her after 13 years of marriage because she was yelling at me about a spoon that she stirred her coffee with was not placed exactly the way she had left it. I hope she and her spoon are now happy
angelalewis
💪…RFH…also “the long con” say it all! 💪
congratulations on your narc freedom and escape from ToxiCity Best Wishes for all future endeavors❤️
@@BeTheLight624 thank you!
angelalewis4213
You are so welcome 🙏🏻
I totally relate to your comment plus the yelling
I hate yelling
I told him, I can hear you, you don’t have to yell. So happy for you that you are away from the narc and on the road to healing
Wishing you every happiness ☀️💪❤️
Great video, Andrew. The narcissist never takes accountability for anything. They will always and forever be a waste of time and energy. Take care!
Thank you 😌🙏🙌
Start pleasing yourself. Very simple
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I'm pretty certain my narc/BPD discarded me because she COULDN'T get her hands on my money and time. I was generous with both, but never truly trusted her so I'm glad I never showed my hand (ie. Savings).
She still had the cheek to call me "stingey", which I resented, but I let that and so many other things slide except my independence. I'm truly one of the lucky ones and feel so much for those in the comments who had it worse. May you all heal ASAP.
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The longer we've been apart, the more I understand this video.
Well put 👍
💯💯😌
Peace☮️ is pretty damn
beautiful isn't it? Freedom rocks, and better late than never.❣️
💯💯😌😉
When I found that the narc's words & actions weren't lining up..... I became devastated realizing we were not on the same page. All an act....a betrayal!
If anything nice happened for me, I was shown resentment or disapproval.
Their way was the only way, their thoughts were always the best. They were in constant competition with everything.... EXHAUSTING! 🎀😘
😌🙏💯
They make you feel you were not enough we are enough this took awhile to see 🙏💕
💯💯😉
When you finally realise - it’s absolutely priceless lovely people. You kind of transcend it all and just get back to you without the rumination or intrusive thoughts. It’s a new life! Please just stay strong 💕
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It's like something suddenly jolts you into a reality that was staring you in the face this whole time. I'm just going thru that stage where you ask yourself "How did I not see how toxic and awful the situation really was?" "Why did I allow myself to be abused for so long?"
The only answer I can come up with is; I truly wanted things to get better, and held on so tightly to the memories of the love bomb stage. Sadly i came to realize that the love bomb had morphed into a renewable atomic bomb with a short fuse that went off anytime of the day or night. I am really happy to be free.
I tried to keep appeasing him, and it just got draining. I knew something was not right, but like many of us, kept fighting for the relationship. You will get stronger. Believe in yourself ❤
Thank you. Finding this channel quite literally saved my life.
💯💯😌🙏
🙏👏🌸❤
Another great video, Andrew.
Studies show that dating apps are a primary source for psychopaths and narcissists. They thrive here. Avoid dating apps at all costs.
Blessings to All ❤✨️😌
Yep that's where I met my narc partner 16 years of hell❤
Yeah, my ex has several Instagram accounts, several facebook accounts and I'm sure I would find him on several other sites, if I cared to look. Shortly after getting married to him, turns out he had been on several dating sites, in particular his favourite, a site to meet Russian women! Apart from TH-cam, I'm not on any social media sites. There is only one reason to have more than one account per site and that is to be different people, to spread a wider net. One account he might chat with racy women, another account he has 'family' centred women etc. How sad!!! 🙄
I avoid dating apps, I met a narcissist on one and he taught me everything I needed to know about narcissism. I discarded him with the assistance of AA Michael. 💜🕊🌟🦋🙏🏻
Lying and having multiple secret relationships has unfortunately become normalised by things like dating apps. I'll never use them again, although I didn't meet the Narc ex on one, there are many people who show the red flags on them. It's a sad indictment of how toxic the dating world has become.
Thank you 😌🙏🙌
When I started with Andrew, I was drowning from abuse and his videos were like a life preserver. I held on tight until I reached a safe place mentally and emotionally and was able to breath again. Oh praise God for good people like Andrew, who aren't afraid to save lives and make life worth living again.
Beautiful empowering message 😌🙏🙌😇
Well said! I agree 👍 💯
Thank you for empowering empaths and enlightening us on narcissistic people.❤😊
It’s a heavy load to carry being the one to be the official blame holder. Great message Andrew❤🙏 I no longer accept the responsibilities of blame and shame that narcissists or toxics so easily used me as a dumping ground for in the past. Removed myself from that role. Guess they’ll have to figure it out. I’m not available 😉- and the shoulders loosen up the less you carry. Have a great evening all!
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Chelsea, I wish you much success in the future. I'm in the process of divorce and settling on the home we just bought almost 2 years ago. It's rough, but there's a bright, shining light at the end waiting to fully shine upon me! Amen.
Heeyy, I stopped in tonight. 💗🖐🌷
@@gregmosk thank you 🙏. It’s good you’re here getting quality wisdom from Andrew - and a very good place here to get encouragement / strength forward as you navigate through your next steps.
@@jannlewandowski5540 hey Jann, I just read your message (very helpful ) and now saying goodnight. Wishing you good rest 💞🙏
I found out about narcissism when I google searched “passive aggressive behavior” Holy Crap! Eyes then open 👀
👀💡💡😌
Growing up in a narc family I didn't know what love was. I thought that the empty, sad and lonely feeling in my heart was proof of some kind of love. Slowly learning what real (self)love is....💗🙏🌳 Thank you
Welcome 😌🙏🙌
It was the roller-coaster from hell. I didn't care if I lived or died. I am thankful for a friend who told me to go to a counselor. Once I discharged all that sadness and I could finally plan for my escape, I was world's better. December of 2009 put my plan in action, making sure I had a new phone, a lawyer, and an apartment to go to that following February 2010. I have survived 2 narcissists in the past 13 years. I am working on a good relationship with a good friend. We are there for each other, and there are boundaries. And I am happy that we both have our own personal time to grow. To reflect and recharge ourselves. My love and prayers go out to Andrew. And all the veterans and newbie Tribe members that you have a good day, a good weekend, and you hang tight and be strong. Make good plans to keep yourself alive and well and away from the narcissist!
Thank you for sharing 😌🙌💯🙏
The abuse is so inhumane sometimes it really blows one's mind. You must trust God will make a way of escape from the situation. They can be so cruel and than just ignore it happened. They drain you financially, emotional, spiritually and physically. When you go no contact they still find a way to disturb you. 😕 I'm praying for a miracle. ✝️
God gives you the knowledge when you get some education.
Expose them...tellsomeone they know.
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Thank you. I was having a really bad realization day so I grabbed my phone to come here. There’s no where else I could thrash around in this in a safe place. I know countless people know what I’m talking about. You’re doing great stuff here…reaching down in our dark places and reaching a kind hand to help us out. May God bless you as you bless others.
Welcome 💯🙏😌
Find the light. My support group started because I reached out for help. We gather every Sunday in my office and is a powerful experience to share in person with others. Namaste
Oh boy, I do the same thing. Like you said, the thoughts and memories come back slowly and before you know it, we are reaching for safety. I’m glad I’m not the only one.
Truly, heatherwhatever7714, it is a LIFELINE to come here, and get support.
It get’s better I promise- exit the relationship & hang out with supportive ppl - the longer you stay the more of self you lose / take ur power back & exit !!! You are strong you are not alone & many of us understand!!!
Ty Andrew for ur inspiration!!!!
Welcome 🙏🙌😌💯
31 months post narc, no contact. Rite after the domestic violence, and trauma, my mom, and grown son said that none of it was my fault. When I finally realised that that was true, it was an amazing feeling!!!
Keep up the great work! 💪👍💕🌷
😌🙏🙌
In order to break weeks of the silent treatment, I would write apology letters - not even knowing the cause of the abuse. I just wanted my family to get back on track in some healthy way for my kids. The narcissist kept those letters and would use them against me when a future problem arose. A sword to create guilt for the next issue, or a reason to reinitiate the silent treatment. It was insane. The silent treatment occurred generally during the holidays or my birthday. So many terrible memories of times that should have been special. I still feel guilt for some reason but these videos help remind me I could not win and the marriage could not last.
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Rollercoaster from hell! I could never keep up with him. I was molded like a piece of clay. I lost myself and carried all of his problems on my shoulders for 21 years. Post narc, my energy is just now coming back. I am trying to eat healthier and walk more for starters. Your channel did pop up for me within 2 days of discard. I knew then...it was Narcissistic Abuse. I was one who thought...wow...a whole community going through the same as me. I cannot thank you enough for your compassion for all of us going through this, and it is a real gift to know where to go or what to do to heal through this. My beautiful sister wrote a letter to my attorney last year that gave a timeline of abuse I took from him because I was in such bad shape from this... couldnt write it myself. At the end of the letter, she said that I will most likely need therapy to restore what he has taken which included loss of time, money, mental health, and peace for over 20 years. Please keep the videos coming, Andrew and thanks for your empathy for others.
Thank you for this beautiful message!❤
Yes, NARCDAILY is a tremendous blessing. I married and divorced my narc husband twice in over 25 years. God gave me this channel too. Like Andrew says in the title "You Are Not Alone."
I was blown away that I wasn't alone in this. Fast forward two years and here I am stronger than ever. I'll never stop learning from this channel. Keep healing Sister. We stand with you!
@@MEL2theJ It blows my mind how much alike the narcs are. Are they going to secret conferences to all be on the same page of a shared playbook? It's so bizarre!🤯 We are definitely not alone.💕
Welcome 😌🙏🙌❤️
@@emilywilson7308 Oh my goodness Sister! I wonder the same things? When I first found NARCDAILY it was a real eye opener that there were actually other people in the world that dealt with these dark forces. We are not alone
Love your analogies Andrew (as always). Although NONE of this 💩 is funny, you crack me up with the analogies, let's face it, that's ALL I have left is to laugh, thanks for THAT! OH, and MY SOUL, he sucked it almost dry, but HE CAN'T HAVE THAT either! ❤✌️🤗 ya'll! STAY strong!!!
I find myself laughing at the way Andrew gets animated too. Just the sound on his voice with the things he says. Almost every time it’s his feelings about the narc coming through, and I love it. Thanks for mentioning that. ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏✊✊✊
😌🤭💯
My family made me think that I am mentally sick. This shocked me to know what they're capable of doing.
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All you wanted was a home. A family and stability. It's mind blowing how things crumble to a memory and the changes throughout your life. Sometimes, I look back and can't believe that's been my life and what I'm going through. It seems surreal. Has that actually been my reality ?
And we have the opportunity to turn it around and enjoy the remainder of our days!❤
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reading stories like yours break my heart. i cant believe how much pain and damage has been done. its tragic
@rob_see It's part of the path to enlightenment if you do the hard work. Its a journey. I'm indifferent with more radical exeptance of this. It's okay. I hope people make it through the holidays soon. Challenging times are coming up for many. So many people heal and live the greatest lives and help others get through. The people here and on many other links are changing the world and saving lives, so one man's suffering turns into so many peoples blessings. It is so sad what people have gone through, but I've stayed in that funk feeling sad for everyone, and that's not positive energy anymore for anyone. It feeds that sad low vibration. I'm a slow turtle, but thats OK. I'm growing a stronger boundary shell .
@@Greenleafroad thank you for sharing, brother. God bless you, yes let's focus on healing and doing what we can! :) I am so encouraged that you still have a positive attitude after all you went through.
After 9yrs there's no way but Up. My biggest concern right now is how numb I've become
It's a normal trauma response. The key to healing is self-care.❤
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Great message. These are the key points that we all experience with a narcissist. The aftermath is a devastating experience that takes a great deal of time and work to recover from. All narcissists relationships implode spectacularly. My now ex husband is 65 years old and still uses the same tactics in identifying vulnerable women to use and abuse as he did with me 🙄🤷♀️.
We now are gaining the knowledge to ensure that we don’t fall into the same trap with someone else.
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They sure put it on you😊 very evil people! I was soooooo naive. Thank you for your knowledge! Sad thing is, they know from the beginning it won’t work. That’s what upsets me.
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Great video Andrew. After being discarded and seriously taking the time to heal I realized that every single argument was instigated by him . And it always ended the same him yelling getting angry and blaming me for everything. Sometimes I would come home from work and he would be angry and blaming me for something I didn't do. It almost got to the point where I doubted myself and thought did I really do that. But I know now I was not doing anything wrong it was the narcissist all along. I'm glad I'm free of that monster. Thank you Andrew for the video and thank you everyone for your kind words. Stay strong everyone.
Welcome 😌🙏💯🙌
Thank you, Carlos! You are my hero!😊
❤❤❤ Sending love, Carlos!
Someone said they got the last laugh and that Andrew gave her that. I agree completely. The last laugh is Andrew convincing us ( and he’s right) that we are a superpower of love and reflection. This is something they can’t do. So I get the last laugh too. Love it.❤️❤️❤️
It can and probably will take a while, but you’ll have the last laugh too eventually. Remember, slow is smooth, and smooth is fast. Meaning be deliberate in your healing, overcome and adapt to the challenges in healing. This is your opportunity when your done, to really shine brighter than anyone. Other people won’t be able to compete with your maturity and understanding and love. ❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏
You’ve been trying to be perfect, but now you can relax, and heal properly.
You sound like a truck driver ❤. There is a driver that oftentimes gives that advice to other drivers "slow is fast, and fast is smooth". I always loved it❤. Oops, I said it wrong ❤
@@tmo.48 It was something I learned in the military. Deliberate actions don’t delay what the fumbles do. ❤️❤️👍👍
Thank you for sharing this 😌💯🙏🙌
I have said that before and say it again. You are 100% right on all points..it seems like you know me and know the current mess I am in...every single word you say, applies to my life right now..hopefully not for too long...Thank you
We’re in this together 🙏🫶 take care of yourself , exercise and eat healthy
@@cintiawolosker1695Absolutely! 💪💪💪👍
Welcome 😌🙏💯
Thank you@@cintiawolosker1695
Well earlier today I thought this was not definitely me, I did so much and was rewarded by being discarded in a such a brutal vindictive way after 22 years which nearly destroyed me. I have to move forward for my life and deal with certain issues regarding a property that we jointly own! Which I know will outrage him and I expect repercussions (and I am worried to be honest) but I can’t let him control me anymore. I know I have been used for my empathetic nature now. listening to you daily Andrew (you have helped us all so much cannot begin to thank you for your kindness) and my therapist. Andrew your message today! Time now to turn my life about because we all will get through it! It will leave scars but we learn! Never again! Love to all. ❤
Welcome 🙏💯😌🙌💯
We need to learn from our mistakes and from the toxic relationships and put up strong boundaries with anybody we discern as narcisistic or toxic. Those people will not introspect or take responsibility for their actions and will continue to Accuse, shame, blame, minimize etc. Narcisists will not grow. They lack love and life. Thank you Andrew. God bless you❤
Welcome 😌🙏❤️💯
Boundaries are Good. We needem to survive.
Saying, "No!" to the narc helped me breathe better!!
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It has been two and half months since I left. I am so ashamed that I am not completely over him. You will never never know what I went through. I am so ashamed of myself. Rollercoaster from hell. I put on twelve kilos. This man is moving on like I never existed.
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Good evening Andrew and everyone. I can totally relate to this topic. NOTHING is their fault. No matter what happens, it's all your fault. So many times I believed I said or did something wrong and I realized it wasn't me. It was my fault that I got sick and it was my fault if he felt sick. YOU CAN'T WIN WITH A NARCISSIST. You end up in Therapy or in a hospital and they couldn't care less. It's been a while since I have seen him, but the best thing I ever did was LEAVE him. This is a GREAT TOPIC ANDREW, and I wish the BEST for all of you BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE..❤❤
Great message ❤️🙏💪🙌
@@gratefultobehereThank you my friend. I needed that tonight. Big hug..🫠🫠💕
Thank you for sharing 💯🙏😌❤️
Hi Jann, I hope you are well this evening, and every evening❤
@emilywilson7308 Hi Emily! I'm ok. Just been busy. Good to see you..😀✌️
Andrew I as well as many others do relate. I completely lost who I was after the betrayal. The lie I lived and never seen it. I only wanted the best and greatest things for who absolutely had no intention to hold the same value. Still 1 1/2 years later I’m trying to love myself again. It’s been some of the hardest things I’ve ever had to accept
Continue on the path..💯🙏😌
You got back to things you love to do! And nothing they say really matters (they rarely do for you), you feel calmness on a cellular level, because you focused on your self-love and self compassion- You Win!
Be Well. Peace To All.☀🌠🔥🎬💞❣
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The are truly disturbed people who abuse children and the vulnerable, such the elderly. They are seriously dangerous people. Move on, you deserve a blessed life.
The narcissist has no empathy for anyone. I got away as soon as I realized he was a narcissist. 👍👍💪🙏
Thank you Andrew, great video. The narcissist love was fake, my love was real! Their loss!!! I wish her well just as far away from me as possible
Welcome 💯🙏😌
They are fake and TOXIC! 👍🙏
They were, are and always will be the victims in all relationships and situations. Run don’t walk for the hill. Thank You Andrew 🙏 for all the great healing videos
This is so right on for me, every word. Let’s get therapy He said he would pay for it. Chatting with women on messenger saying they were HS friends . Silent treatment for days. When you’re in it you can’t see these things, but you’re out like I am thank God you really see it. And you realize it’s not you, it’s them. No empathy at all for my feelings. Shifting the blame onto me. And the love bombing. And yes I did meet him in a vulnerable state, I had just lost my dad months prior. He seemed very caring in the beginning but it slowly his masked slipped off. Never took accountability for his bad behavior. So glad I’m off that ride. Let him be someone else’s problem, or better yet maybe he will meet a narcissist like himself…wouldn’t that be the irony.
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During my marriage I thought always, it was my fault, that the relationship didn't work out. But it wasn't like that, as I know now. The Narcissist is very good as making you feel like their behavior is your fault. Because they dont take responsibility, they manipulate and seek control of situations, so that they don't expose their insecurities, a part of NARCISSTIC INJURY.
They blame you, that's easier and the worst thing you can do is BLAME YOURSELF. Don't do that !! Don't hurt yourself!
Thank you again for this insightful video, Andrew. I hope you enjoy your evening!❤
I actually tried to blame myself. I spent months trying to find something I was guilty of to deserve this. I couldn’t. It’s pretty weird, but maybe it’s because of how much abuse and devaluation the narc gave me that is not allowing me to admit something.
It almost makes it worse because I’m thinking, “ well then why?”. I know why, but I still think it. “Why am I not enough? “ of course I know better now how a narcissist thinks and DOESN’T FEEL, and I do value myself now. But it’s stupid that we seem to want to blame ourselves. So we end up on this cycle of healing.
I admire you so much!❤
@@emilywilson7308Thank you Emily❤❤😊
@@christopherbrubaker2070I understand completely, the same here. But its over. I'm no longer anyone's scapegoat. Bless you!😊
Welcome 😌🙏🙌💯
This is a very important concept to take on board - it was never you, it was never about you, it is always about them! There was never anything you could do to be that person they wanted, cos that person does not exist.
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You are definitely right about the narcissist they blame you for everything when nothing go there way. My ex-husband narc was a taker did everything for him a Uber driver, gave him money, he didn't never put gas in my car hadcto argue with him all the time. Blame me when he be at his doctor appointment he didn't understand what reception ask him to do he cussing them out and turn around an blame me. Anything that goes wrong blame me. They are toxic human being have no love for no one but theirself.
Mine was very verbally abusive. Always trying to build himself up and knocking me down. "I'm from Brooklyn, everyone in the world knows where that is!" Vernon, NJ? Where's that? I could get into a whole chapter in a book on that subject.
Therapists, I remember him leaving one, because, he didn't like what she was saying. Lol! It was the same exact things, I was telling him.
I went to a therapist once. I felt bullied into it. I didn't go again.
This brought up a lot of bad memories, I had forgot about.
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I met my ex narc on a dating app. I didn't know about narcissism back then. Now I am empowered with the knowledge. I am free after 12 years. I am a better person right now that I have the knowledge. Thank you Andrew ❤
Welcome 💯🙏❤️
True. The narcisists continued to hammer us until we said NO MORE! And when we are done, that is the moment when the narcisist is done. It is only up to us to STOP this insanity! God bless you❤
He went above and beyond. We were out and I showed him a beautiful orchid. When he went home he purchased an orchid and sent me a picture saying this will remind me of you, beautiful! He drove me to a wedding 9 hours away, told me all about himself and said he felt like I had my guard up. Then he said " I will never intentionally hurt you. ' Little did I know...
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That sounds like a horror film!!!
When someone says this sentence, it's exactly what they will do. Otherwise there's no reason for saying that 🚩
@@elkebanhart7045 Yes! That is an astute observation. We must carefully observe these red flags before we fall into their trap!
We gave it our best shot..went above and beyond the call of duty. Forgiveness and excuses that were never appreciated..it’s such a relief to let go and realise nothing was enough for these types..it was never our fault..
❤ from 🏴
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Oh, that light bulb moment!
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Maybe you were a person to help them fit their community’s mold “being married,” a wife prop, with absolutely NO LOVE WHATSOEVER. Even the love bombing was cold. They are snakes! 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍
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i never blamed myself for his garbage
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My narc ex did whatever love bombing he was capable of until we married. On our honeymoon, he said this to me.... it gave me chills.. "You're MINE now"😁 I was just a piece of property for him like a truck. Then his real self came out, and he was abusive. I think I was so damaged. I thought I could change him, and our love would fix it. I was embarrassed and ashamed that I had made such a horrible mistake. I didn't want to admit to myself How badly I screwed up so I went into denial. My parents had been putting pressure on me to marry and i wanted to.please them too.I thought things would get better. No, no, they get worse. And the mental emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse. Because you can't look in the mirror and see the damage. My parents and family had been so disrespectful and had so few boundaries with me I was used to being treated like this. I thought since he didn't physically abuse me that I was not being abused. I was soooo messed up.
Sounds like no one had your back. You did not need any of it.
That's awful! A piece of property? He is Trash! You will be fine...💕🌷👍
@kathleencondit1660 thank you😊
@jannlewandowski5540 thank you!
Thank you for sharing this insight 😌🙏🙌
Extracting all existing resources of wich most valuable - TIME! When I got sick and got surgery no sign of him! Took great tool on my overall health! At the end, classic DARVO tactics. They are real monsters. And seems operating from the same handbook. Now closed all the chapters! And got off that rollercoaster of hell! It was him and only him, allways and everything about him! Thank you, Andrew ❤
It’s like they all went to the same training camp. It’s really unbelievable to me that they even use the same phrases.
I am the type of person ( empath) that can’t imagine doing that to someone, especially my relationship partner. I’m so sorry you had to brave this alone. ( I don’t mean without family) the person who was supposed to drop everything for you didn’t. I just can’t imagine doing that. Love for you. You deserve better. ❤️❤️🙏🙏
…it’s like they all have the narc 101 master manual playbook
Welcome 🙏🙌💯❤️
Absolutely spot on Andrew, so much of this resonated with me, push pull, hot and cold, ping pong rollercoaster from hell. So exhausting and heartbreaking ❤️🩹
Yes it is a rollercoaster from hell 💯 I'm so glad we are off it now, healing and being able to get the wisdom from Andrew, who has devoted himself to this cause. I will never forget the pain and suffering. The devastation has no words to describe it, that will do it justice. Thank God we have found our way here, so that we can all move forward together on the healing path. Take care, God bless 🙏
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A greater challenge when you are their mama and they are a teenager
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Quite a challenge when they are your Mama also. You realize as a child that they are the child and you are the adult.
A greater challenge is when it's both parents one is inverted narcissist and the other is a grandiose narcissist and sibling seems to be a mixture of both narcissists
Wait until they grow up and become adults and use your grandbabies against you. The teens are horrible but when they are able to manipulate you with kids it’s even harder.
I have one of those,don’t get to see my grandkids 😎
covert narcs needs u to abuse them they thrive on ur pain they are trying to turn you in to a inverted narc they enjoy ur pain
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Thank you Andrew - this video is brutal when you’re stuck - but it’s bang on point. This resonates - it’s uncomfortable for those not quite there? So appreciated x
It takes TIME and learning from the BEST who have experienced it. I personally have been without my ex narc for 12.6 years, but you need to take baby steps. Keep coming back to this room and you will learn more than you know. Andrew is the BEST.
Welcome 😌🙏🙌
Hi Andrew, as you are always saying the healing path is not linear and as Sam Vaknin says, after narcistic abuse you don´t need healing, you need restoration. Maybe different words but i believe this is what you mean when say you went trough the fire and come out as the third version of yourself.
meanwhile as always thank you very much for your daily inspirations, your consitence and your persistence, your own personal strength to share this information with so many people. Your Channel is one of the reasons i believe TH-cam really can help People through information making this place called earth a friendlier space.
Welcome 😌🙏🙌
The mother of my oldest child turned into a complete monster mere days after he was born. If I had known what narcissism and it’s characteristics were I could have seen it coming as there were many red flags. The biggest red flags was the frequent silent treatment, disappearing whenever I was sick and never ever accepting any criticism or correction. If you’re dealing with someone with those attributes you need to get out of it. I don’t care how in love you think you are.
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glad you got out bro. sounds horrific
Andrew...great video (as usual) you are looking much healthier than a year ago when I found your channel....gives me hope...healing is not easy
Thank you 😌🙏💯
Whew they tried to trash my boundaries right away and used me to drive them around after their license probably got taken away and they borrowed the car to look good and not like an alcoholic to their past potential mates.. many people take seven times of breaking up with them, I researched.. hopefully it won’t be that way for a lot of people. My gut feeling about them at first was right.. thanks, Sir
Welcome 😌🙏💯🙌
Blessings 🕊️ Thank you so much for this video. The relationship is always one sided and they are just TIME wasters. I hope everybody had a good day and a better day on tomorrow. Good night ❤️✌🏽🙏🏽
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We are lifeguards together, he moved in within a couple months. When we first met, he would have beers before work, I would say things and he had this “you know I’m crazy” attitude. That soon changed to him yelling at me for things he assumed that were not true. He hated my movies, wouldn’t go on trips, said he didn’t like my music. And today, he is allowed to do whatever he wants at work, do shots, leave early I can’t call him out but if I so much as wear my name tag wrong he tells everyone. Every single thing you said is true here. He took all my time and my house for awhile, we watched his movies would only eat his type of food. (Only fast food) I had in and out for 4 days in a row during our relationship it was disgusting. It was either that or I cook.
Thank you for sharing 💯🙏😌
Thank you for this video Andrew and the many truths and exposed narc tricks within it.
“When you realize it wasn’t you,”“ really needed to be emphasized like you did, so many grieving and punishing themselves over lies perpetrated on them. All these truth statements you made in this video are so helpful and aid in healing and clearing the cobwebs to see reality
“When you realize it wasn’t you,”“It was not your fault,”
“you cannot believe anything that comes out of their mouths,”
“there was never a level time where everything was a level calm”
Thank you, Andrew! ✝️🙏🏻🕊️☀️😎🌷🦋💪🌳❤️🌎
Welcome 💯🙏🙌☀️
Omg they target us then we get blamed for having a reaction and we look crazy at the end of it. Double trouble never asked for.
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yeah, its quite sinister. i reacted to her silent treatments by chasing and asking for explanation and she just told me i was being “crazy”
This happened to me countless times. It's so heartbreaking when someone thinks someone is a good friend and they turn on them after this person made time, for them and was always very good to them.💔💔💔💔
It's very painful.😢
@@emilywilson7308 It really is.😢
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I start my mornings and end my evenings with Andrew. He keeps it real.
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I will be for ever grateful to a great friend of mine, who is a psychologist, who told me “He is a narcissist and you have no fault”. At first I did not get it since the common thinking is that when a relationship does not work both partners share responsibility. Then, one day it dawned on me. Whichever are your defects and virtues, when a narcissist wants another supply it does not matter how you are and what you did for twenty one years. You will be discarded no matter what.
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Free! Normal feels soooo good!!
Couldn't agree more 💃
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It wasn't me. And, if I did anything off the wall it was in reaction to the ex narc's overblown theatrics. When we met, naturally we both discussed previous marriages. In my case, big mistake as my ex husband got dragged into every tirade of the ex narc. He had absolutely nothing to do with us. It was impossible to have normal conversation with the ex narc. I avoided talking to him altogether. He'd fuss about our "relationship". We never had one. There was zero intimacy. I was just a cook and housekeeper.
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😮That sucks!!!
You are a gift to humanity Andrew. Thankyou
Absolutely! 👍💕
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Wish we could form a meet up of us here in the Carolinas. Andrew you’ve been an angel and positive force in my healing. Would love to thank you in person. Anyone else from the Carolinas? Let’s try to plan a meetup!
Thank you 😌🙏
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Yw it’s true! I was abandoned here and know no one! We really should try to do a meetup! I’m in Mooresville NC. That would be amazing! And I wouldn’t feel so isolated, what a disaster. But I truly am stronger because of you. Forever grateful 🖤
On fire 🔥 with these videos this week😊
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🎉 ill always remember the moment i found your channel and realised i wasnt alone ❤❤❤
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We are fortunate!!!❤
Thank you for your enlightened post, im now ready to leave the narcissist behind and move on enjoying my happiness alone
I called mine Draino. He wanted his name on the deed to my house. When it was denied due to his poor credit rating and being unemployed and refusing to work, HE LOST IT!
Tried to turn it around stating; “ why would I want to put my name on that huge dept if I didn’t love you so much.” Yikes. Bullet avoided!
❤ Andrew. You were, are and remain my strength. Thanx, as always.😊
Welcome 😌🙏🙌😊
Thank you very much for sharing this knowledge and wisdom. I’m so grateful for you and this community. We are not alone. Blessings to all. Namaste 🌺
God bless you too, Todd!
I too am extremely grateful.
Thank God for NARCDAILY 🙏
@@MEL2theJ We are so blessed that Andrew wants to do this every single day! Changing the world, one day at a time!❤️🌈🌎
@@emilywilson7308 Yes ma'am! I go through every video and like most every comment on his channel so the algorithm tilts farther in his favor thus recommending this channel to more people. God blessed me with NARCDAILY l and I know that so many more hurting people need to see this. Just doing my little part ha ha ha
Namaste 😌🙏🙌
Good afternoon Andrew. Thank you for this video. ❤😊
Welcome 😇😌🙏
Love you, Marie!❤
@@emilywilson7308 good morning Emily, hope you are doing well. Love you too my friend. Have a wonderful thursday. 😊☀️🌻
@@mariefrancebourget1749 I am having a great day off doing nothing!😃
I just realized it wasn't me. Omg.
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He is doing exactly what you mentioned. He goes to see his friends every month to his hometown who are all retired and has a lot of time. I assume he wants to be admired from them to be living in the Tokyo area. Also he has a female friend from high school nearby and goes out together just the two of them. I claimed that is an awkward and insincere thing to do and boom I was discarded. Maybe she had been his supply for pretty much a long time or as a kind of insurance to him. Anyway I’m happy I’m out of the relationship and will be silent for good. I wouldn’t have been able to think this way without your video,Andrew. Thank you from Japan 😊
Welcome 😌🙏💯🇯🇵
Does REALIZING make it hurt less?
It still hurts.
The proximity hurts.
Then if we go no contact….. it’s still not the good relationship that we hoped for.
We grieve.
They never made me feel it was my fault. It’s not. Still hurts
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...all flying monkeys and people associated with them. You fly by that statement, but it is SOOO important.
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Retrospectively, I spent so much time blaming myself for allowing a toxic work relationship to nearly ruin my marriage (btw they were married too but it was ok for them to pursue a relationship because they had “walked away from the marriage”). Total idiocy. They had told one of my friends that “I almost had her where I wanted her”. They never accepted responsibility for anything. When “trying to help me understand a Bible verse” I was told, in the name of God, “I am not going to spoonfeed you” which made me feel so worthless. I now realize that all of this was manipulation and abuse. I am not going to blame myself anymore. I am so happy to be out of that fog! Thank you for your encouragement and for your channel, Andrew.😊 Thank God for healing.❤🙏🏽❤
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True i wasnt myself i was becoming them ,my mindset was to be perfect all he wanted very lost period of my life
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Thankful to be on my own now. Happy single . Keeping my boundaries strong.
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I love how Andrew doesn't tell us that we need to try harder to please others. He puts YOU first, second and third.
Thankyou!! Working on mine!! Now I’m disable, and still tryed to get everything I owned! I woke up!!!
Welcome 😌🙏🙌
Thank you Andrew. This came at the right time. It’s really helped me today. ❤
Welcome 💯🙏😌
we are responsible for our own emotions and actions at any time all we had to do was say nooo to every request like i did and leave when the love turned toxic it was our own childhood trauma that kept us there longer narcs are 2 yrs old we were having sex with a child there is nothing in them but a brain of a traumatized baby brain trying to survive the narcs soul has been dead since they were a baby there mother mostly hated them and really abused them and let others abuse them sexually physically emotionally everything in them is dead they are zombies run for ur life away from them they dont think they cant most narcs are also borderlines thats why u start going insane if u stay they are all insane a narc will kill u and ur children run for ur life mothers get ur children far away from them
Exactly Andrew! What I heard from the narc: I didn't tell you "my friend" visited me because I wouldn't hurt you like that"! Thereby his lie is my fault. Not! True is truth & a lie is a lie no matter how its dressed up. And yes. I am sn empath. God bless everyone who's been through & going through this nightmare, stay on this channel. And be strong!
Ive been gone from the relationship 3 yrs. Im good. Enough of that stuff!