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Silence holds great power when dealing with narcissism. By choosing not to engage in the narcissist's games, we demonstrate strength and protect our own well-being. In the face of their manipulative tactics, silence becomes our shield, allowing us to rise above their attempts to control and diminish us. When we refuse to feed into their need for attention and validation, we reclaim our own power and maintain our inner peace. Remember, silence speaks volumes, conveying a message of self-worth and resilience, ultimately leading to our triumph over narcissism.
Wonderfully said! For those just starting out on their path... please know that even if it seems difficult, you can triumph. Being part of Andrew's group is such a tremendous positive resource. Be good to yourself... you got this! 🥰
Your silence tells that person that their behavior has led to the death of this relationship and that you don't recognize them anymore. It's not treatment, it's over.
After being discarded, I, without hate in my heart, did block my wife and cut off all ties, and unfriend all negative mutual friends. Ive been one week with no contact. Its so very hard but i think im doing good. Some days are better and worse than others.
@@dakoja76667 It's what they wanted. That's what I said to my ex. I asked, "Are you happy? This is what you wanted right?" as he sat at my kitchen table eating a breakfast I just made for him. All he could do is shrug his shoulders. Weeks later I saw him going over to her house and I threw all his guns out on the front porch and told him to come get them. I had to move on.
This is sad but true: I don’t have many friends that understand what I’ve been through. But have countless brothers and sister victims that know what we have been through. This is truly comforting. Thank you Brother Andrew🙂
Words of wisdom, Andrew! I listened twice already. When I was smeared relentlessly by former family I found that silence was the path to empowerment and peace. I owe no one any explanation. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Namaste 🙏😌
Namaste 🙏 I like how you say smeared relentlessly.. I know the feeling I went though that on a familial level tarted 10 years ago it was painful but not as painful as being smeared in my late 20s by a very sick and sadistic neighbour of mine. It’s tough going through it but the initial blows are a few weeks behind me now and I’m starting to get through it… acceptance is key
Yes let them worry what u are up to behind the scenes, for a change. Not that it's anything more than just trying to rebuild our lives, heal and move on. They will be thinking we are planning revenge or payback which might make them nervous... but that sounds like a them problem 🤭🤷🏼♀️
This really is a deep video and very powerful. When I asked the Narc to leave, I said 2 words which were please leave. Then I went silent. When I got back from an appointment, he was gone. You see, my nature was never to go silent. Andrew you gave us an invaluable tool. I am so grateful to you and the community you developed.
I choose to speak, but NOT when I see it is falling upon deaf ears, or when I KNOW that my words are going to be weaponized against me. I have also ceased to care what anyone thinks about me. I choose to be silent but not silenced.😊Oooooo, that felt good to say..."I CHOOSE..."😅❤
Being silent is really powerful, because anything you say or do just becomes fuel for a narcissist to feed off of. Being quiet is a signal to them that you are no longer willing to be baited and that you are drawing a line or building a wall of protection from their negativity. I encourage everybody in contact with a narc to practice this potent form of silent communication.
Both my parents were narcs, my former mother-in-law is a narc, my former father-in-law is a narc, my former pastor is a narc. They are all over the place. From bitter and painful experience, silence has been the answer for me. I cut them off completely and refuse to respond to any contact attempts, either by them or their triangulated flying monkeys. It works far better than anything else I have tried. You cannot change a narc. You cannot reason with a narc. You cannot get a narc to see your perspective. You cannot coexist with a narc in a healthy way. All you can do is choose whether to keep them in your life ... or not. This includes family.
“Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16). Yes, we certainly are sheep amongst a world of wolves. Makes me want to be quite reclusive, to be honest. I think my dad and my brother were/are Narcs (dad passed away now), I cut them both out of my life some time ago in my early twenties.
After many years of on again/off again, I cut my half-sister out of my life. I was there for her when our Mother died, and she put me through hell shortly after. I finally realized the need to go no contact, just as I'd done years ago with a narcissistic man. My life is so much more peaceful and beautiful these days. 🌼
I very rarely comment on TH-cam , but I want to personally thank you for all the knowledge and advice you have given me , knowing it felt like I signed a deal with the devil itself. I kept asking myself questions every day, but I now know the truth with you help . Thank you
Great video Andrew. Yes I was silenced in the narcissistic relationship nothing I said mattered to him. Now after the discard and I moved away, I have stayed no contact. It's been 16 months and I've stayed strong and ignored him. No social media no text or email nothing. I wanted to contact him at first but now I really have nothing to say to him. And there is definitely nothing he can ever say to make me ever let him into my life again. Thank you everyone for your kind words and thank you Andrew for the video.
During the relationship I was always seeking to communicate and understand the narc. I wanted to just have a fulfilling conversation where I felt "known & understood" , I tried many times. Now, I do not wish to explain anything to anyone. I do not have that desire. I am walking my life path and can't take anymore time from my life to try and explain anything to anyone. I live by higher principles. To be the best I can be and continue learning and to do no harm. To leave a legacy of love and kindness. I am at the pinnacle of indifference and I am silent by choice. Thank you Andrew for your dedication, passion and honesty. Our journey can only be understood by those who have "walked in our shoes". Namaste! ♥
Unfortunately, explaining it sounds super craZy. It has taken me 6 months to put my pieces back together. I pray the new supply catches on quicker than I did. My trying to talk to the narcissist involved being told I had terrible timing. Mind you this was morning, noon, night. The time was never correct, and I was berated for trying. So I stopped trying. 😢 The wall had no answers either.
At 6 months of no contact, I have fended off several flying monkeys, all of which set me back into ruminations (flying monkeys can be just as dangerous as the narcissist). The silence is deafening to me, it has allowed me to actually begin to really look at myself and all the damage of 40 years of narc abuse- I have extensive autoimmune issues. Only now can I start to see all the areas of my life which have been damaged: I am terrible at negative self talk, assuming the worst, over analyzing what others say and mean (especially challenging for me working from home as a sales manager). I couldn't even begin to look at repairing these parts of me if I was still involved with my abusive family. Thanks for all your daily videos Andrew, making a huge difference in my life.
I so understand dear heart. I have NO family due to narcs & monkeys. I have stage 4 cancer & not a soul to help me. Yet I stand tall, see all. You are doing beautifully. Blessings to your heart. Nancy. By the way, I rarely comment on any social media platform, as I was constantly stalked by my most damaging narc. The real NPD. my sister. My enemy. Love to all here. 4
Thank you dear brother! You are an extremely big help after I just finalized my 18 yr divorce from a narcissist. I tried to make it work but he continued to give silent treatment sometimes for months on end. He had multiple affairs in which I lost count and he even brought a woman home to sleep in our bed while I was out of town handling affairs at my mothers home after she passed away. I look back and think how horrible a person can be when married to you and it devastated me. I’m on my path to healing and know that while it will take time I’m so happy God delivered me out of the fog and I’m one with His Devine Spirit and my soul of pure consciousness.
The biggest wound from narcissistic abuse that I still carry to this day is assuming everyone is angry at me. This was how I survived an abusive childhood and it served me well, but now as an adult it is not useful and I choose to discard this defense mechanism because now I just choose the shut the eff up, not have to have an opinion on everything (like my abuser) and that is good enough.
All this Andrew. Dealing with them is an exercise in frustration. It’s soul sucking to see how little they give and how much they take in almost every interaction. This was a hard lesson for most of us. We gave them too much credit that if they just understood, they wouldn’t do the things they do. But eventually we all learn when it comes to narcs, “silence is golden”
When i finally realised communication with the narcissist was fruitless, it was such a freeing moment, i felt as though i had been cleansed. It was almost a light bulb moment, an out of body experience. I listened to them, whilst they finished their sentence, almost in slow motion. Then i said, " well, let's just leave it there". I knew from that moment we would never have any other contact It was meant to be, and a pivotal moment in my life, one of great serenity, and i have never looked back.
That’s so good. “Well let’s just leave it there”. I will add it to my armoury box to deal with any future dealings with narcs / hoover attempts. Thank you. 🙏
It’s better to express my emotions on paper. I write letters to people that never get sent. What I think and what I feel is my business not anyone else’s. My emotions are mine, and getting clarity about what I want to do about any problem is my Private choice. But yes I definitely use silence to keep toxic people away because they are dangerous.
I’ve been able to maintain my silence much of time, even now when he’s come back into the home. My problem is he’s slowly taking over the house again. He’s playing house and having a great time despite me dying inside. The young adult kids are being used to bolster his position. I’m still silent. When he leaves dishes to be done, I let them sit. He does try to have small talk and I don’t engage, but I just need him to leave. The kids are being guilted and it’s just so toxic. The mask is gone!
He never saw it coming,1-1-23. He was so busy with his new supply whoops toodaloo. That how self absorbed they get. Chapter closed divorce signed. Stood by my promise to myself,that he would never step foot in this home again. My home 52 yrs, shared it with him since 2015. Took my deed back, no problem. Had so much evidence on the narc/addict he went with no problem. Stay stong
Here's a way of being gaslit/ silenced. I mistakenly tried to say how I felt the day after the narcissist had a argumentative fit. The narcissists response to going off is "We were just having a conversation" Then they have a temper tantrum at your attempt to communicate.
Thank you Andrew for covering this. Once again, on point. No explaining no defending. At this point I could care less what they or their surrounding supporters of them think of me. It’s a win win. I have many on any given day very curious to what I am up to. I absolutely do not oblige anymore about anything.
Check mate Narc......YOU LOOSE.....You never thought I would be silent for this long. I have gotten strong in the awareness choosing to start a new as opposed to being with you......nothing but a FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY! 🎀😘
Could You pls talk about for example what I am going through .. that my ex is with a psycopath and she has brainwashed both my son and my ex .. which has led to that my son has cut me out of his life … I get No where because she is controling and manipulating the whole situation .. this has been going on for 4 years!!!!
ME TODAY: "Umm... are ya there God? It's me, Jennifer. Listen, my psychic powers _are_ becoming a bit of a _burden_ lately 🙏🙏🙏😔... if ya couldddd... just maybe don't let ALL of my predictions come true?!..."
What a BEAUTIFUL background my goodness the sunlight glowing too. Oh the silence is a beautiful gift now where we can just be. As far as me communicating to a narc (if aware they are now) then that silence has become a safe harbor. We owe nothing. Grateful for the education always ❤🙏
I don't have the appropriate tools of communication to properly describe what I went through with my narcissistic ex. And I already assume no one else would be able to comprehend it even if properly communicated.
This was helpful. So we use our communication with careful discernment.. whomever that communication may be with. In turn we save our energy. Essential.
"People can't wrap their head around narcissistic abuse unless they experience it." It took years for me to realize that I was actually being silenced all those times when I was trying to explain my experience to people who wouldn't or couldn't understand it. Once I chose to be silent, I immediately recognized the simple wholeness and integrity of living without them. My energy was directed toward my own life.
i can't be bothered discusing or defending what has been said about me. i have always known that my consitency speaks for itself and that truth eventually always prevails.
Good morning Andrew. This was a great listen. I have been doing very well because of this asset. Less one knows sometimes the better your life is. Talkers are usually high drama seekers. They have to be the smartest, most controlled, most faultless individuals around… lol. 😅
Yes Andrew. At least for I, silence worked. Its all part of denying narcissistic supply. A simple necessity that leaves their fuel tank empty. Persistence turns into just apathy and indifference to them. Narc who ?? This should work for most narcs imo. No supply is crushing. If it doesnt, you may be involved with a pathological cluster b obsession. You must beat that type to the punch. Report stalking of any type. Document anything antagonistic. Legal repercussions. You may have to become more aggressive than is your nature. Not physically, but intellectually.
Andrew, where you're physically AT, is how I picture healing to be. Just green and lush and all the nature is thriving! It's beautiful and peaceful.That what my world used to look like. That's how i'll know when I've made it out. 🌿🌙✨🌱🌸🍃🕊✨ Fantastic! Stay blessed!✨ It's almost like being in a calm thriving area makes them nervous! It's the antithesis of anywhere a narc is, even if they're just visiting. Always need that chaos! I just want to be happy, I want peace.
What a relief to realize there is no need to explain yourself to those who are flying monkeys; silence brings peace of mind and there is nothing more wonderful
What plant is that behind you? Musa Basjoo? What are the red flowers? Some type of Canna? Beautiful location... I feel it through the video! I am in an uncomfortable situation this morning, mini discard, weird MIA, left the bedroom two or three times last night, Texting, Phone Call or something worse...? Who knows... I am looking at some type of beautiful Banana Tree or something. My chickens picked the whole leaves off my baby Musa Basjoo. I put a cage around the last one I have hoping it recovers.
Thank you Andrew you sure are a blessing to this community. Explaining perfectly what has happened to us and making sense of it all helps us all heal. Thank you again have a blessed day .
I am in beautiful Costa Rica hanging out with my cousin and her husband who live here. Thoughts of that narcissistic entity have been few and elicit little reaction. I know now I am healing just fine. No contact since September 2022. I have received many cryptic how are yous and heys and closed out phone numbers. I live overseas so I have virtual numbers Whatsapp and one actual real US number. Cancelled or changed them but one I cannot change due to business. Blocked every number he has and he is still reaching out because I discarded him and I know he wants payback. But I am strong. I feel nothing but disgust for him but not even that really. I just see him as pathetic. I am so happy I put him out of my life. He will never hear my voice again unless I decide to press charges for rape. I filled a police report last year, but it's hard to press charges living outside the US. I listen to your videos all the time. They really got me through some down angry days.
Thank you. I'll be 60 in August. I'm trying to heal from 59 years of abuse at my mother's hands. She is 83 years old and still rocking the narcissistic game...
@@winnebagolakefly oh my God how comical 😂 "didn't you enroll...." Seriously some ppl have no common sense whatsoever. Same gift card scam happened to my neighbor. Only after he sent her 509, & I TOLD HIM IT WAS A SCAM, he decided to SEND HER $200 MORE 😆. Anyway, good luck. I'm 61, dealing with an elderly mother's crap too. Andrew's vids are so helpful.
You are not alone. My narc mother is 86, yoga at dawn, meditation - which hasn't calmed her screeching one-upmanship, will argue about even the slightest thing, says she knows absolutely everything, and has had her funeral planned for twenty years down to the number of clouds that will be in the sky. Realising the delusion and distortion foisted on our childhood and the damage it has done had me fuming for a while, but I have accepted that the whole twisted mess is a life lesson. She phones every couple of months and babbles the me-me-me monologue while I grunt occasionally. I tell her absolutely nothing.
Andrew, another great educational session!! I could not agree more. So often silence is golden!! Communicate rather than "talk!!" I have no need to be seen or heard -- I know who I am and most importantly, God knows who I am!! Sending love and inspiration to all folks!! Just returned from Costs Rica -- absolutely beautiful!! Thank you Andrew for all you do for folks who have been through the abuse!!❤❤🤍🤍💚💚
This is great advice, as someone who has made every mistake possible when dealing with narcissists, this shouldn't be taken lightly. It's that serious.
Another great video Andrew. Please could you do a video on what your ‘vibration’ is and how healing from narcissistic abuse affects your vibration going forward in life?
What worked for me... I gave the narcissist a clear communication of what was wrong/what I needed. I did that for me, not expecting change, so that I could know that I did the right thing. Of course the narcissist was unable/unwilling to address it. So, I went completely silent and then went completely no-contact. It was one thing that I got right, not having been entangled in a narcissistic relationship before.
I kind of did something similar with eventually putting my foot down, stating my boundaries and terms for continuing the relationship. More nonsense ensued and I eventually disgarded the narcissist days later, going no contact :)
Thanks 🙏 Andrew. Silence is not golden when held inside. However, when it comes to a Narcissist silence should always be deafening. Peace is found in silence. Peace cannot exist with a Narcissist or Cluster B. Silence is a beautiful gift that allows you to tune your instrument to resonate properly. Have a great day!
Absolutely. It can be decades of someone’s life. Then another (and counting) to process and heal. It’s hard to leave behind that haunted feeling. Even when free survivors ‘should be getting on with life’ but normal life doesn’t seem to be the same anymore. (Plus all the fall out from years of cortisol/hypervigilance damage for those of us with autoimmune disease.)
True Andrew they always must be above ,always had to defend myself it is better to have nothing with them couse nobody cant speak with them and get somewhere
Been with 3 guys who displayed these traits. It was a little too late once I figured it out w this last guy because he started avoiding/being quiet, but I was only behind about 24 hrs. I needed clear evidence for my own conscious at the time. Think he was in the looking for new supply stage/in the process of keeping me on the back burner. (I felt the emotional disconnect). Took the day to get the proof and slammed him and the door behind me. I called dude out w evidence for cheating and ignoring me. He didn’t respond so I texted “fine, you want to ignore me? I’ll never reach out again”. He’s been blocked on everything for over 3 weeks now. I’ve been getting dreams about him and hearing him in my head sometimes, but I just talk back and say “look, you made the choice and have to battle and conquer your own demons, I can’t save you, ask your angels and God to help you”. Then I visualize angels and God picking them up, delivering them, say a prayer and I let it go. This helps me ease any guilt I may feel of abandoning and I believe in a higher power for everyones soul. (Just my 2 cents). I think the help they need is beyond most of our scopes of practice. I believe it’s their fight, just like everyone else’s and they have to want to save themselves ❤🙏🏼🫶🏼 blessings everyone!💫
@@emilykathleenn it’s not for anyone but me and my soul. It helps me be at peace. If it empowers me I’m all for it. Unfortunately, no one can save anyone but themselves.
I can relate to the dreams. When I first left the narcissist I would dream of him begging me back. It was intense and I did research on the dreams and discovered cord cutting. I believe the energy vampire came after me in my dreams for sure. I ended up doing a few cord cutting sessions, journaled, healed and boom I rarely think of the energy vampire. I believe there is a TON of spiritual stuff going on in these situations. I hope the dreams stop soon for you and I hope my comment helped.
Right! They won't listen. Thanks, Andrew--all helpful details and all aimed at saving thought and emotional energy. For those stuck in a relationship, it's time for energy saving mode. You'll be able to use that energy to make a better decision. 👍🙏🃏
Had I understood narcissism as a child or teenager, I would have been spared a lot of anger and frustration. Talking to my parents was often like talking to a brick wall, especially when it came to religion. I now see how growing up in that environment impacted my whole life.
It distorts the foundation the resulting adult will stand on. The silver lining is that we now understand the what, why and wherefores. Many people just continue life lost in the fog blaming themselves.
This one has been completely blocked for I think 2 or 3 weeks. This time I am determined to keep him on block, not do the "flip flop" thing where I block/unblock. If he ever shows up at my house I won't open the door. Every day I am away from him, have no contact with him, i feel stronger. If I never saw him or heard from him again I would be fine with that.
I started watching your videos around the 4th or 5th time that my narc and I "broke up". I denied it for a while but then I started wondering why I kept researching videos about dating people with personality disorders. Then we went through the exact same cycle 2 more times before I blocked her. She's done just about every single thing you've described in your videos
After being silenced for 12 years. And now have seen under the mask. It is very difficult to be silent to them. But you are correct. I will gain nothing but more grief thrown at me. I will be silent and let them go down the path they have chosen. I wil let our God deal with them in his own time.
@@emilywilson7308 EMMMMIIILLLLYYY❤️❤️❤️❤️Teddy and I love you!! I think of you often with lots of goodness your way!!! I hope you are doing amazing as well sweet friend ❤️😘🌞
Excellent Message !! As this is my response going on right now, despite his ways to manipulatively initiate contact, this is my first silent and no contact way, this is very healing, giving me the feel of LOVE inside and around. THANK You, Andrew !!!!!! Namaste 💯❤🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
And also i learned they are pushing it to max, imagine if i had this knowledge it would be bad for them even more, thats why people should stop testing individuals and see how far they can go... love this vid, u always have good eye openings ... stay safe survivors
Andrew please get a complete physical. I could not find an email address for you. As a retired nurse your color looks dusky to me. Please take care of yourself and I do not want to be intrusive.
It means now I get labeled as the bully, my mom will say "Gee whiz I can't even say anything to you or you will go silent, I am afraid to say anything....., I am just a victim here and you are so angry.".
How does the narcissist become/grow into who they are from childhood? Is it a only child spoiler complex? What kinds of conditions? I have many personal ideas but what are the real key 🗝️ factors Andrew??
Your silence is a superpower because it brings peace to your soul and helps you heal 🌿🍃🌹🌿🍃🌹🌿🍃🌹
Amen!🌹🌷❤🌹🌷❤
Silence holds great power when dealing with narcissism. By choosing not to engage in the narcissist's games, we demonstrate strength and protect our own well-being. In the face of their manipulative tactics, silence becomes our shield, allowing us to rise above their attempts to control and diminish us. When we refuse to feed into their need for attention and validation, we reclaim our own power and maintain our inner peace. Remember, silence speaks volumes, conveying a message of self-worth and resilience, ultimately leading to our triumph over narcissism.
❤🙏
“Attention & Validation”. Your silence denies them THAT.
💯
Wonderfully said!
For those just starting out on their path... please know that even if it seems difficult, you can triumph. Being part of Andrew's group is such a tremendous positive resource. Be good to yourself... you got this! 🥰
You can't reason with them. They don't have the intelligence for that. Silence is best. You get peace. It freaks them out.
🙏💯😉💯
I had to delete my whatsapp forever in order to cut off flying monkeys and the narcissist
💪🙌😉
I had to delete any social media I had except TH-cam. It turned out to be I am even better without it! Hopefully you’ll feel the same way soon✌️
@@myphd-myprisonhistorydiplo691yess, i do to🎉
Good idea, whatsapp is spyware.
I deleted everything but youtube. I have much more peace
💯 You take control back if you keep Silence and walk away without any explanation...it is so powerful and in a way it gives you closure..
Amen❤
Your silence tells that person that their behavior has led to the death of this relationship and that you don't recognize them anymore. It's not treatment, it's over.
Exactly !! 💯
@@catlady715 Yes Indeed!
After being discarded, I, without hate in my heart, did block my wife and cut off all ties, and unfriend all negative mutual friends. Ive been one week with no contact. Its so very hard but i think im doing good. Some days are better and worse than others.
@@dakoja76667 It's what they wanted. That's what I said to my ex. I asked, "Are you happy? This is what you wanted right?" as he sat at my kitchen table eating a breakfast I just made for him. All he could do is shrug his shoulders. Weeks later I saw him going over to her house and I threw all his guns out on the front porch and told him to come get them. I had to move on.
Love this spot on 😊
This is sad but true: I don’t have many friends that understand what I’ve been through. But have countless brothers and sister victims that know what we have been through. This is truly comforting. Thank you Brother Andrew🙂
Welcome 😌🙏🙌
This group is Amazing Indeed! 🥰
Words of wisdom, Andrew! I listened twice already. When I was smeared relentlessly by former family I found that silence was the path to empowerment and peace. I owe no one any explanation. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Namaste 🙏😌
Namaste 🙏 I like how you say smeared relentlessly.. I know the feeling I went though that on a familial level tarted 10 years ago it was painful but not as painful as being smeared in my late 20s by a very sick and sadistic neighbour of mine. It’s tough going through it but the initial blows are a few weeks behind me now and I’m starting to get through it… acceptance is key
Yes let them worry what u are up to behind the scenes, for a change.
Not that it's anything more than just trying to rebuild our lives, heal and move on.
They will be thinking we are planning revenge or payback which might make them nervous... but that sounds like a them problem 🤭🤷🏼♀️
This really is a deep video and very powerful. When I asked the Narc to leave, I said 2 words which were please leave. Then I went silent. When I got back from an appointment, he was gone. You see, my nature was never to go silent. Andrew you gave us an invaluable tool. I am so grateful to you and the community you developed.
Thank you for sharing 😌🙌🙏
We don't need validation from the Narcissist,.,,,why tell them anything,,,your silence alone Speaks Volumes 💯🤗
It's all about integrity, holding high standards, and being kind to yourself. Nothing nice to say to me, then go away !
I choose to speak, but NOT when I see it is falling upon deaf ears, or when I KNOW that my words are going to be weaponized against me. I have also ceased to care what anyone thinks about me. I choose to be silent but not silenced.😊Oooooo, that felt good to say..."I CHOOSE..."😅❤
❤🙌
Yes! It is our choice!😊
@bonniedunbar6717 I'm so sorry you had that very painful experience... I hope you find strength and inner peace. 🙏
Being silent is really powerful, because anything you say or do just becomes fuel for a narcissist to feed off of. Being quiet is a signal to them that you are no longer willing to be baited and that you are drawing a line or building a wall of protection from their negativity. I encourage everybody in contact with a narc to practice this potent form of silent communication.
True. I agree with everything you said. Silence does all the talking for us. Silence is golden. God bless you❤
Your SILENCE offers you to SEE what's really happening more CLEARLY
Silence 🤫 brings peace. I have a much more peaceful life. Calm at my pace. Works wonderfully.
Both my parents were narcs, my former mother-in-law is a narc, my former father-in-law is a narc, my former pastor is a narc. They are all over the place. From bitter and painful experience, silence has been the answer for me. I cut them off completely and refuse to respond to any contact attempts, either by them or their triangulated flying monkeys. It works far better than anything else I have tried. You cannot change a narc. You cannot reason with a narc. You cannot get a narc to see your perspective. You cannot coexist with a narc in a healthy way. All you can do is choose whether to keep them in your life ... or not. This includes family.
Amen 🙏
“Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16). Yes, we certainly are sheep amongst a world of wolves. Makes me want to be quite reclusive, to be honest. I think my dad and my brother were/are Narcs (dad passed away now), I cut them both out of my life some time ago in my early twenties.
After many years of on again/off again, I cut my half-sister out of my life. I was there for her when our Mother died, and she put me through hell shortly after. I finally realized the need to go no contact, just as I'd done years ago with a narcissistic man. My life is so much more peaceful and beautiful these days. 🌼
Yeah he's never at fault. I started to apologize alot and caught myself. I said "I'm a walking apology" 💡😂 then walked right away from him! 😂
Nothing can ever silence me again,my feelings will be heard😎
😌🙏💯
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone 👀👀🙏
💐🙏🎯
You always help me stay on track. Loved this message. It feels so good to be silent. So empowering. Hope you have a great day Andrew. Namaste
BREAKING NEWS:
I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!!!🤫
❤lol
Love it ❤🙌
😂😂😂😂😂Amen the same
Exactly, I’m so indifferent to my narc, she really is just a stranger now(my own mom)
The mountaintop of INDIFFERENCE! Yeaaa! You reached it!🎉🌻💗🌈🐣
I very rarely comment on TH-cam , but I want to personally thank you for all the knowledge and advice you have given me , knowing it felt like I signed a deal with the devil itself. I kept asking myself questions every day, but I now know the truth with you help . Thank you
Great video Andrew. Yes I was silenced in the narcissistic relationship nothing I said mattered to him. Now after the discard and I moved away, I have stayed no contact. It's been 16 months and I've stayed strong and ignored him. No social media no text or email nothing. I wanted to contact him at first but now I really have nothing to say to him. And there is definitely nothing he can ever say to make me ever let him into my life again. Thank you everyone for your kind words and thank you Andrew for the video.
Welcome 🙏😌💯😇
Congratulations 🎉 Carlos!
Good job, Carlos!!! ❤❤❤
Congratulations 🥰🥰🙏🙏☮☮
During the relationship I was always seeking to communicate and understand the narc. I wanted to just have a fulfilling conversation where I felt "known & understood" , I tried many times.
Now, I do not wish to explain anything to anyone. I do not have that desire. I am walking my life path and can't take anymore time from my life to try and explain anything to anyone. I live by higher principles. To be the best I can be and continue learning and to do no harm. To leave a legacy of love and kindness. I am at the pinnacle of indifference and I am silent by choice. Thank you Andrew for your dedication, passion and honesty. Our journey can only be understood by those who have "walked in our shoes". Namaste! ♥
Unfortunately, explaining it sounds super craZy. It has taken me 6 months to put my pieces back together. I pray the new supply catches on quicker than I did. My trying to talk to the narcissist involved being told I had terrible timing. Mind you this was morning, noon, night. The time was never correct, and I was berated for trying. So I stopped trying. 😢 The wall had no answers either.
At 6 months of no contact, I have fended off several flying monkeys, all of which set me back into ruminations (flying monkeys can be just as dangerous as the narcissist). The silence is deafening to me, it has allowed me to actually begin to really look at myself and all the damage of 40 years of narc abuse- I have extensive autoimmune issues. Only now can I start to see all the areas of my life which have been damaged: I am terrible at negative self talk, assuming the worst, over analyzing what others say and mean (especially challenging for me working from home as a sales manager). I couldn't even begin to look at repairing these parts of me if I was still involved with my abusive family. Thanks for all your daily videos Andrew, making a huge difference in my life.
I so understand dear heart. I have NO family due to narcs & monkeys. I have stage 4 cancer & not a soul to help me. Yet I stand tall, see all. You are doing beautifully. Blessings to your heart. Nancy. By the way, I rarely comment on any social media platform, as I was constantly stalked by my most damaging narc. The real NPD. my sister. My enemy. Love to all here. 4
Thank you dear brother! You are an extremely big help after I just finalized my 18 yr divorce from a narcissist. I tried to make it work but he continued to give silent treatment sometimes for months on end. He had multiple affairs in which I lost count and he even brought a woman home to sleep in our bed while I was out of town handling affairs at my mothers home after she passed away. I look back and think how horrible a person can be when married to you and it devastated me. I’m on my path to healing and know that while it will take time I’m so happy God delivered me out of the fog and I’m one with His Devine Spirit and my soul of pure consciousness.
Welcome 🙏😌💯
The biggest wound from narcissistic abuse that I still carry to this day is assuming everyone is angry at me. This was how I survived an abusive childhood and it served me well, but now as an adult it is not useful and I choose to discard this defense mechanism because now I just choose the shut the eff up, not have to have an opinion on everything (like my abuser) and that is good enough.
All this Andrew. Dealing with them is an exercise in frustration. It’s soul sucking to see how little they give and how much they take in almost every interaction. This was a hard lesson for most of us. We gave them too much credit that if they just understood, they wouldn’t do the things they do. But eventually we all learn when it comes to narcs, “silence is golden”
SOUL-SUCKING is a PERFECT Descriptor for the narcissist! 😁
When i finally realised communication with the narcissist was fruitless, it was such a freeing moment, i felt as though i had been cleansed. It was almost a light bulb moment, an out of body experience. I listened to them, whilst they finished their sentence, almost in slow motion. Then i said, " well, let's just leave it there". I knew from that moment we would never have any other contact
It was meant to be, and a pivotal moment in my life, one of great serenity, and i have never looked back.
That’s so good. “Well let’s just leave it there”. I will add it to my armoury box to deal with any future dealings with narcs / hoover attempts. Thank you. 🙏
There’s no/0 meaningful dialogue depth OR respect
It’s better to express my emotions on paper. I write letters to people that never get sent. What I think and what I feel is my business not anyone else’s. My emotions are mine, and getting clarity about what I want to do about any problem is my Private choice.
But yes I definitely use silence to keep toxic people away because they are dangerous.
Silence is Golden ❤❤❤
💯🙏😌
I’ve been able to maintain my silence much of time, even now when he’s come back into the home. My problem is he’s slowly taking over the house again. He’s playing house and having a great time despite me dying inside. The young adult kids are being used to bolster his position. I’m still silent. When he leaves dishes to be done, I let them sit. He does try to have small talk and I don’t engage, but I just need him to leave. The kids are being guilted and it’s just so toxic. The mask is gone!
Thank you for sharing this 💯😌🙏🙌
Perfect, Andrew! SO TRUE!! They don't get any of me anymore. Communication is cut off.
He never saw it coming,1-1-23. He was so busy with his new supply whoops toodaloo. That how self absorbed they get. Chapter closed divorce signed.
Stood by my promise to myself,that he would never step foot in this home again. My home 52 yrs, shared it with him since 2015. Took my deed back,
no problem. Had so much evidence on the narc/addict he went with no problem. Stay stong
🎉💪😇 we are all getting stronger eveyday . Feels like the world is waking up slowly 🎉❤
💯😌😉
Here's a way of being gaslit/ silenced. I mistakenly tried to say how I felt the day after the narcissist had a argumentative fit. The narcissists response to going off is "We were just having a conversation" Then they have a temper tantrum at your attempt to communicate.
Yes, and if we had turned the tables and had a screaming kiniption fit back at them, they would've claimed us crazy. 😆
That’s so the truth
I was constantly being silenced and he actually used the schhhh!!! On me all the time ... or the aggressive combative attitude
@ripsagoly Truly, being shushed is the worst. Zero respect. That's when i realised the relationship was never real.
Thank you Andrew for covering this. Once again, on point. No explaining no defending. At this point I could care less what they or their surrounding supporters of them think of me. It’s a win win. I have many on any given day very curious to what I am up to. I absolutely do not oblige anymore about anything.
Check mate Narc......YOU LOOSE.....You never thought I would be silent for this long.
I have gotten strong in the awareness choosing to start a new as opposed to being with you......nothing but a FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY! 🎀😘
😌💯🙏💪
Could You pls talk about for example what I am going through .. that my ex is with a psycopath and she has brainwashed both my son and my ex .. which has led to that my son has cut me out of his life … I get No where because she is controling and manipulating the whole situation .. this has been going on for 4 years!!!!
😌🙏🙌💯
Thank You hope You Will talk about that topic .. 👍👍👍👍
ME TODAY: "Umm... are ya there God? It's me, Jennifer. Listen, my psychic powers _are_ becoming a bit of a _burden_ lately 🙏🙏🙏😔... if ya couldddd... just maybe don't let ALL of my predictions come true?!..."
🤗
❤
I went silent a few years ago and no longer feel a need to revisit any of that relationship. Winning feels wonderful. ❤
🤫😉💪
What a BEAUTIFUL background my goodness the sunlight glowing too. Oh the silence is a beautiful gift now where we can just be. As far as me communicating to a narc (if aware they are now) then that silence has become a safe harbor. We owe nothing. Grateful for the education always ❤🙏
They always seem angry 😡😡😡😡!
Nothing is ever good enough!
Yes🎉
I don't have the appropriate tools of communication to properly describe what I went through with my narcissistic ex. And I already assume no one else would be able to comprehend it even if properly communicated.
You are not alone!
Wow, you’re reading my mind. I truly needed this reminder today. Thank you! We need some Nelson and Nola soon! 🐾
😌💯😊🐶
This was helpful. So we use our communication with careful discernment.. whomever that communication may be with. In turn we save our energy. Essential.
I am in my feelings today...smh
So here I am getting this medicine....thanks Andrew
"People can't wrap their head around narcissistic abuse unless they experience it." It took years for me to realize that I was actually being silenced all those times when I was trying to explain my experience to people who wouldn't or couldn't understand it. Once I chose to be silent, I immediately recognized the simple wholeness and integrity of living without them. My energy was directed toward my own life.
So so true! Only people who experienced and understand narc abuse know. For other people it's too bizarre
Silence is golden. Stay Gold, Pony-boy. (“The Outsiders”) 🌟💫✨
You are very wise.
i can't be bothered discusing or defending what has been said about me. i have always known that my consitency speaks for itself and that truth eventually always prevails.
💯😌🙏
Good morning Andrew. This was a great listen. I have been doing very well because of this asset. Less one knows sometimes the better your life is. Talkers are usually high drama seekers. They have to be the smartest, most controlled, most faultless individuals around… lol. 😅
Yes Andrew. At least for I, silence worked. Its all part of denying narcissistic supply. A simple necessity that leaves their fuel tank empty. Persistence turns into just apathy and indifference to them. Narc who ?? This should work for most narcs imo. No supply is crushing. If it doesnt, you may be involved with a pathological cluster b obsession. You must beat that type to the punch. Report stalking of any type. Document anything antagonistic. Legal repercussions. You may have to become more aggressive than is your nature. Not physically, but intellectually.
That's an important differentiation, thanks.
Andrew, where you're physically AT, is how I picture healing to be. Just green and lush and all the nature is thriving! It's beautiful and peaceful.That what my world used to look like. That's how i'll know when I've made it out. 🌿🌙✨🌱🌸🍃🕊✨ Fantastic! Stay blessed!✨
It's almost like being in a calm thriving area makes them nervous! It's the antithesis of anywhere a narc is, even if they're just visiting. Always need that chaos! I just want to be happy, I want peace.
Beautiful 🌳❤️😇☀️🐝
You owe No one an explanation
Thank you so much for the videos I am now in second narc relationship and it’s bad
The last time i broke silence the blame game continued. No thank you
🤫💯😌
Honestly it is crazy. Look out for yourself. Doesn't matter to them
What a relief to realize there is no need to explain yourself to those who are flying monkeys; silence brings peace of mind and there is nothing more wonderful
Most people just don't get it.
What plant is that behind you? Musa Basjoo? What are the red flowers? Some type of Canna? Beautiful location... I feel it through the video!
I am in an uncomfortable situation this morning, mini discard, weird MIA, left the bedroom two or three times last night, Texting, Phone Call or something worse...? Who knows... I am looking at some type of beautiful Banana Tree or something. My chickens picked the whole leaves off my baby Musa Basjoo. I put a cage around the last one I have hoping it recovers.
Thank you Andrew you sure are a blessing to this community. Explaining perfectly what has happened to us and making sense of it all helps us all heal. Thank you again have a blessed day .
I am in beautiful Costa Rica hanging out with my cousin and her husband who live here. Thoughts of that narcissistic entity have been few and elicit little reaction. I know now I am healing just fine. No contact since September 2022. I have received many cryptic how are yous and heys and closed out phone numbers. I live overseas so I have virtual numbers Whatsapp and one actual real US number. Cancelled or changed them but one I cannot change due to business. Blocked every number he has and he is still reaching out because I discarded him and I know he wants payback. But I am strong. I feel nothing but disgust for him but not even that really. I just see him as pathetic. I am so happy I put him out of my life. He will never hear my voice again unless I decide to press charges for rape. I filled a police report last year, but it's hard to press charges living outside the US. I listen to your videos all the time. They really got me through some down angry days.
Thank you for sharing 🙏💯😌🙌
Thank you. I'll be 60 in August. I'm trying to heal from 59 years of abuse at my mother's hands. She is 83 years old and still rocking the narcissistic game...
@@winnebagolakefly oh my God how comical 😂 "didn't you enroll...." Seriously some ppl have no common sense whatsoever. Same gift card scam happened to my neighbor. Only after he sent her 509, & I TOLD HIM IT WAS A SCAM, he decided to SEND HER $200 MORE 😆. Anyway, good luck. I'm 61, dealing with an elderly mother's crap too. Andrew's vids are so helpful.
You are not alone. My narc mother is 86, yoga at dawn, meditation - which hasn't calmed her screeching one-upmanship, will argue about even the slightest thing, says she knows absolutely everything, and has had her funeral planned for twenty years down to the number of clouds that will be in the sky. Realising the delusion and distortion foisted on our childhood and the damage it has done had me fuming for a while, but I have accepted that the whole twisted mess is a life lesson. She phones every couple of months and babbles the me-me-me monologue while I grunt occasionally. I tell her absolutely nothing.
My mom too and my twin
WHAT EVER WILL BE***WILL BE *** !!! 💗💗💗
Omg I'm not the only one who realised later in life. I'm 47 and Mother is 80.
I hope u are doing OK 👍
Andrew, another great educational session!! I could not agree more. So often silence is golden!! Communicate rather than "talk!!" I have no need to be seen or heard -- I know who I am and most importantly, God knows who I am!! Sending love and inspiration to all folks!! Just returned from Costs Rica -- absolutely beautiful!! Thank you Andrew for all you do for folks who have been through the abuse!!❤❤🤍🤍💚💚
This is great advice, as someone who has made every mistake possible when dealing with narcissists, this shouldn't be taken lightly. It's that serious.
Amen!!!! 👍
🎀😘
I’m just learning what happened to me. I’m injured, I agree with you so much, it should be taken very seriously.
Another great video Andrew. Please could you do a video on what your ‘vibration’ is and how healing from narcissistic abuse affects your vibration going forward in life?
The sooner the better
Covert narcs can't be influenced. Don't waste your time and energy.❣️
I speak way less now days because of these very reasons. Great video. Thank you, Andrew!
Welcome 😌🤫🙌
What worked for me... I gave the narcissist a clear communication of what was wrong/what I needed. I did that for me, not expecting change, so that I could know that I did the right thing. Of course the narcissist was unable/unwilling to address it. So, I went completely silent and then went completely no-contact. It was one thing that I got right, not having been entangled in a narcissistic relationship before.
I kind of did something similar with eventually putting my foot down, stating my boundaries and terms for continuing the relationship. More nonsense ensued and I eventually disgarded the narcissist days later, going no contact :)
@@irielion3748 The discard was overdue and right, don't you think?
❤
They say silence is golden for a reason ✨️ 💛 Great topic Andrew
Thank you 😌😇🤫
Hello Andrew! 🙌😇❤️💪😁🏆
😌🙏🙌😊
Thanks 🙏 Andrew.
Silence is not golden when held inside. However, when it comes to a Narcissist silence should always be deafening.
Peace is found in silence.
Peace cannot exist with a Narcissist or Cluster B.
Silence is a beautiful gift that allows you to tune your instrument to resonate properly.
Have a great day!
Welcome 🤫💯😌
WOW Beautiful shot Andrew! 💙 and powerful message. TY 🙏🏻 Namaste.
❤️😊
Yes, the power of silence. What a waste of time and resources these relationships are
Absolutely. It can be decades of someone’s life. Then another (and counting) to process and heal. It’s hard to leave behind that haunted feeling. Even when free survivors ‘should be getting on with life’ but normal life doesn’t seem to be the same anymore. (Plus all the fall out from years of cortisol/hypervigilance damage for those of us with autoimmune disease.)
THIS👉🏽YOU DON’T NEED TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF TO ANYBODY ABOUT ANYTHING👑👏🏽
😌💯🙏
True Andrew they always must be above ,always had to defend myself it is better to have nothing with them couse nobody cant speak with them and get somewhere
😌🙏🙌
Been with 3 guys who displayed these traits. It was a little too late once I figured it out w this last guy because he started avoiding/being quiet, but I was only behind about 24 hrs. I needed clear evidence for my own conscious at the time. Think he was in the looking for new supply stage/in the process of keeping me on the back burner. (I felt the emotional disconnect). Took the day to get the proof and slammed him and the door behind me. I called dude out w evidence for cheating and ignoring me. He didn’t respond so I texted “fine, you want to ignore me? I’ll never reach out again”. He’s been blocked on everything for over 3 weeks now.
I’ve been getting dreams about him and hearing him in my head sometimes, but I just talk back and say “look, you made the choice and have to battle and conquer your own demons, I can’t save you, ask your angels and God to help you”. Then I visualize angels and God picking them up, delivering them, say a prayer and I let it go. This helps me ease any guilt I may feel of abandoning and I believe in a higher power for everyones soul. (Just my 2 cents). I think the help they need is beyond most of our scopes of practice. I believe it’s their fight, just like everyone else’s and they have to want to save themselves ❤🙏🏼🫶🏼 blessings everyone!💫
@@emilykathleenn it’s not for anyone but me and my soul. It helps me be at peace. If it empowers me I’m all for it. Unfortunately, no one can save anyone but themselves.
I can relate to the dreams. When I first left the narcissist I would dream of him begging me back. It was intense and I did research on the dreams and discovered cord cutting. I believe the energy vampire came after me in my dreams for sure. I ended up doing a few cord cutting sessions, journaled, healed and boom I rarely think of the energy vampire. I believe there is a TON of spiritual stuff going on in these situations.
I hope the dreams stop soon for you and I hope my comment helped.
Yes it’s much better to talk to a wall 🤣🤣🤣
Amen
💯💯😉
It takes years or forever. End it
Another great video! " "speak only if you can improve upon the silence" ..aloha❤
Right! They won't listen. Thanks, Andrew--all helpful details and all aimed at saving thought and emotional energy. For those stuck in a relationship, it's time for energy saving mode. You'll be able to use that energy to make a better decision. 👍🙏🃏
Had I understood narcissism as a child or teenager, I would have been spared a lot of anger and frustration. Talking to my parents was often like talking to a brick wall, especially when it came to religion. I now see how growing up in that environment impacted my whole life.
@@bonniedunbar6717 Amen. 🙏
Me too! But now is me time…time to start living for ourselves!
@@winnebagolakefly Exactly!
It distorts the foundation the resulting adult will stand on. The silver lining is that we now understand the what, why and wherefores. Many people just continue life lost in the fog blaming themselves.
@@wayneelliott1180 So, so true!
THANKS ANDREW ❤😊
This one has been completely blocked for I think 2 or 3 weeks. This time I am determined to keep him on block, not do the "flip flop" thing where I block/unblock. If he ever shows up at my house I won't open the door. Every day I am away from him, have no contact with him, i feel stronger. If I never saw him or heard from him again I would be fine with that.
I started watching your videos around the 4th or 5th time that my narc and I "broke up". I denied it for a while but then I started wondering why I kept researching videos about dating people with personality disorders. Then we went through the exact same cycle 2 more times before I blocked her. She's done just about every single thing you've described in your videos
True.
After being silenced for 12 years. And now have seen under the mask. It is very difficult to be silent to them. But you are correct. I will gain nothing but more grief thrown at me. I will be silent and let them go down the path they have chosen. I wil let our God deal with them in his own time.
😌🙏🙌
Wait Cheetos, bon bons and sitcoms don’t count??? 😂😂😂LOL!! I wonder if bon bons still exist😂
Hey Kim! Hope you are well!❤
@@emilywilson7308 EMMMMIIILLLLYYY❤️❤️❤️❤️Teddy and I love you!! I think of you often with lots of goodness your way!!! I hope you are doing amazing as well sweet friend ❤️😘🌞
Excellent Message !! As this is my response going on right now, despite his ways to manipulatively initiate contact, this is my first silent and no contact way, this is very healing, giving me the feel of LOVE inside and around. THANK You, Andrew !!!!!! Namaste 💯❤🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
And also i learned they are pushing it to max, imagine if i had this knowledge it would be bad for them even more, thats why people should stop testing individuals and see how far they can go... love this vid, u always have good eye openings ... stay safe survivors
Silence is right up there with time on the list of values
🛡️
hello andrew ☺️😉
Andrew please get a complete physical. I could not find an email address for you. As a retired nurse your color looks dusky to me. Please take care of yourself and I do not want to be intrusive.
What do you mean Andrew color depend on the light where he is recording
It means now I get labeled as the bully, my mom will say "Gee whiz I can't even say anything to you or you will go silent, I am afraid to say anything....., I am just a victim here and you are so angry.".
Thank you for helping me through this battle. Excellent advice
Welcome 😌🙏🙌
How does the narcissist become/grow into who they are from childhood? Is it a only child spoiler complex? What kinds of conditions? I have many personal ideas but what are the real key 🗝️ factors Andrew??
🤔🧐👀😌
Sending you love.❤ Thank you.