16:30 this was my issue all the time: disconnection from my feelings, my body, my intuition WHEN someone was rude/judgy to me and I felt like physically there but not with my brain online (not able to ask questions - I'm skeptical normally), can't understand what you're saying, only hear you talking in a tone of voice that sounds to me you are very emotionally, disrespectful or I can't understand a word. But my subconscious was tracking all what I heard so I could understand what was said to me afterwards and finally feel what I couldn't feel in the situation. But then, the other person that loaded its $%$§ onto me didn't remember anything. Very frustrating not being able to respond to someone in real time especially when boundaries were crossed and the other person thinks you are a doormat because you don't go away or defend yourself (I even smiled when it was hurting but I didn't feel it. I was crying and not sweating like the massage therapist meant.). Practicing daily nervous system regulation with a variety of tools (somatic exercises by Liz Tenuto for example) and keeping them with me when I'm out and about. For me it is now the first priority to stay present with the help of many selfhelp tools, feel my body also during interactions and when I feel stress is creeping up I take a break, do intentionally regulating exercises, because I hate the consequence: loosing connection to myself, presenting like a doormat to the other person.
I am destroyed without any affection from my whole family ! I rather think it was the 4 jabs everyone took during COVID 19 while I was able to slip from that mark of the beast granulated substances !!!
Thank you❤❤❤
16:30 this was my issue all the time: disconnection from my feelings, my body, my intuition WHEN someone was rude/judgy to me and I felt like physically there but not with my brain online (not able to ask questions - I'm skeptical normally), can't understand what you're saying, only hear you talking in a tone of voice that sounds to me you are very emotionally, disrespectful or I can't understand a word.
But my subconscious was tracking all what I heard so I could understand what was said to me afterwards and finally feel what I couldn't feel in the situation. But then, the other person that loaded its $%$§ onto me didn't remember anything.
Very frustrating not being able to respond to someone in real time especially when boundaries were crossed and the other person thinks you are a doormat because you don't go away or defend yourself (I even smiled when it was hurting but I didn't feel it. I was crying and not sweating like the massage therapist meant.).
Practicing daily nervous system regulation with a variety of tools (somatic exercises by Liz Tenuto for example) and keeping them with me when I'm out and about. For me it is now the first priority to stay present with the help of many selfhelp tools, feel my body also during interactions and when I feel stress is creeping up I take a break, do intentionally regulating exercises, because I hate the consequence: loosing connection to myself, presenting like a doormat to the other person.
I am destroyed without any affection from my whole family ! I rather think it was the 4 jabs everyone took during COVID 19 while I was able to slip from that mark of the beast granulated substances !!!