The reason for the downgrade is that they view people as swappable use cases (whether for material or emotional supply). Therefore, their intrinsic value does not matter at all. The low hanging fruit likely provided them with a higher immediate output to boost whatever life plans they came up with. It's a game of attach, use, drain, discard, repeat. Don't look any further or blame yourself for it. You can never get a leech to hang on to you forever.
Sometimes yes - but truthfully not all breakups and situation are so conveniently covered by that explanation. Details matter and situations are unique in many cases
X came back!. Coach Ken was 100% correct on every video I have viewed. Im thankful for his wisdom and that I found his videos. So many questions that haunted my mind were finally answered. Couldnt of worked through this without his help. I trust this man, and I am grateful .
That part about if someone else had “the good looks, the job, the money- they’d be a better version of me” hit home. Currently on month 8 of no contact with my ex. She’s now with a “lower value” guy than me but I’m still staying strong. And for the naysayers, I’ve gotten her back before after long periods of no contact but this time I’m doing NC “the right way” as Coach Ken talks about.
That last part. I had a realization listening. I suspect he might be quiet borderline & I'm gifted ADHD/CPTSD. He broke up with me cause of the anxiety of being with someone he saw as so high value. It's why I've been in so much pain & not understanding. It's also why he hasn't come back. He's intimidated by me. That's the only issue with working on yourself in NC, if your ex does the work too or you meet a new person great! But if you're like my situation & your ex finds you "too good" for them, you improving is only going to scare then off more. I don't regret doing the work or NC, but I do regret losing a beautiful man that I love very much. 😢
Thanks for the clarity Ken. You make a huge difference. You’re giving advice and knowledge that is something some of us didn’t get from our fathers. So thank you for what you do
Hi Ken. I would love for you to make a video about gently pushing them the right way into healing and getting therapy. Obviously not against their will or anything, but as a boost of motivation as I find all the people I know with BPD have trouble with willpower when it comes to self-improvement. Thankyou
Bpd? Run....BPD drama is longstanding and hard to treat. Even therapists get drained. BPD lives are full of drama. They put people on a pedestal at first but some small thing will happen, and the other is then considered to be the worst person in the world. No one wins with BPD.
Hey coach ken, these videos of yours really made me cope a lot better. So my ex and I were in 3 years and 7 months relationship, cuz of the lack of communication as the reason of the breakup, yah we’re totally opposite cuz I’m an athlete which is more goal oriented while she was a much chill person or I can considered a lay back person, she rebounded after 2-3 weeks of the breakup with this guy who’s totally the opposite of me and similar to her, well as you said, give it time, let’s see where both of em can take that ship
If someone is so angered by your little flaws that it drives them to abandon you to be with someone else, good riddance. When you truly love someone, you embrace their faults and enjoy their smile after every silly argument, cause it's silly. People that expect constant growth in all aspects of their relationship are mentally ill and should get therapy before entering a serious adult relationship cause they clearly are living in a fantasy.
Very true in many cases - but not all flaws are small and not all repeated areas of hurt silly. Detail matter - but I agree with the essence of what you're saying
Its best for men to be a narcissist because every woman will leave you for someone better in the end or cheat on you My family called me a NARCISSIST because I never chased my ex when they left me This is 100% fact
My wife slepted with someone else during no contacts got a tattoo of his name and got pregnant lol life is unexpected 😮 she trying to come back but I doubt it would work but we have 3 young kids lol help!!! 🤣
Coach Ken, my ex came back but insisted that we're not exclusive. She then saw a girl call my cell and now shes passive aggressive, ignored my text to meet up. It's not fair how entitled shes acting. I pushed to meet and talk and she ignored me.. what does this mean for me? I tried to show her i still cared about her. She took a day to respond. I got a little pissy about the disrespect and now she ignored me.. she knows in on the hook now and i look unattractive
I dated this girl almost 3 months. I fell for her everything click I never had that in my life. All thr sudden it's a switch turn, she went distant broke my heart. 2 months later she came back it felt like nothing changed about 2 week's the switch turned again. I was soooo good to her we never argue but she two separated getting divorced. She told me she don't want hurt me is why she's letting me go and sorry she lead me on. I talked her on thr phone also told me she has feels for me and she had feelings for another guy she dated in that 2 month's we didn't talk. Broke my heart! This happened 2 weeks ago I haven't text her in a week and half. Man life sucks. I been listening to your stuff and it's help me a lot when I think I should text or send flowers. But I think I made thing's ran into a friend of that guy she said she likes and told him we been hanging out. Showed proof on my phone. I'm so mad at myself for doing that.
It’s been 6 months of NC with my ex boyfriend. He dumped me because he thinks I was being too controlling and he thinks we are too different. I apologised but he didn’t want to reconcile. I still miss him. Should I be the one to reach out and break NC? 😞
The reason for the downgrade is that they view people as swappable use cases (whether for material or emotional supply). Therefore, their intrinsic value does not matter at all. The low hanging fruit likely provided them with a higher immediate output to boost whatever life plans they came up with. It's a game of attach, use, drain, discard, repeat. Don't look any further or blame yourself for it. You can never get a leech to hang on to you forever.
Sometimes yes - but truthfully not all breakups and situation are so conveniently covered by that explanation. Details matter and situations are unique in many cases
X came back!. Coach Ken was 100% correct on every video I have viewed. Im thankful for his wisdom and that I found his videos. So many questions that haunted my mind were finally answered. Couldnt of worked through this without his help. I trust this man, and I am grateful .
You rock - Thanks Kim! Glad he was wise enough to wake up and realize what he was about to lose!
@CoachKen You are amazing my bro from another universe lol. Talk to you soon. TY
That part about if someone else had “the good looks, the job, the money- they’d be a better version of me” hit home. Currently on month 8 of no contact with my ex. She’s now with a “lower value” guy than me but I’m still staying strong. And for the naysayers, I’ve gotten her back before after long periods of no contact but this time I’m doing NC “the right way” as Coach Ken talks about.
That last part. I had a realization listening. I suspect he might be quiet borderline & I'm gifted ADHD/CPTSD. He broke up with me cause of the anxiety of being with someone he saw as so high value. It's why I've been in so much pain & not understanding. It's also why he hasn't come back. He's intimidated by me. That's the only issue with working on yourself in NC, if your ex does the work too or you meet a new person great! But if you're like my situation & your ex finds you "too good" for them, you improving is only going to scare then off more. I don't regret doing the work or NC, but I do regret losing a beautiful man that I love very much. 😢
Thanks for the clarity Ken. You make a huge difference. You’re giving advice and knowledge that is something some of us didn’t get from our fathers. So thank you for what you do
Thank you very much - appreciate the kind words!
Hi Ken. I would love for you to make a video about gently pushing them the right way into healing and getting therapy. Obviously not against their will or anything, but as a boost of motivation as I find all the people I know with BPD have trouble with willpower when it comes to self-improvement. Thankyou
Bpd? Run....BPD drama is longstanding and hard to treat. Even therapists get drained. BPD lives are full of drama. They put people on a pedestal at first but some small thing will happen, and the other is then considered to be the worst person in the world. No one wins with BPD.
You hit the nail on the head. Thank you. Very helpful
Thanks Jim!
thank you so much for another insightful video Ken!
Thank you Tomie!
Your the man Ken. This helps so much buddy!!
Thanks Michael - much appreciated!
Hey coach ken, these videos of yours really made me cope a lot better. So my ex and I were in 3 years and 7 months relationship, cuz of the lack of communication as the reason of the breakup, yah we’re totally opposite cuz I’m an athlete which is more goal oriented while she was a much chill person or I can considered a lay back person, she rebounded after 2-3 weeks of the breakup with this guy who’s totally the opposite of me and similar to her, well as you said, give it time, let’s see where both of em can take that ship
If someone is so angered by your little flaws that it drives them to abandon you to be with someone else, good riddance. When you truly love someone, you embrace their faults and enjoy their smile after every silly argument, cause it's silly. People that expect constant growth in all aspects of their relationship are mentally ill and should get therapy before entering a serious adult relationship cause they clearly are living in a fantasy.
This comment is so on point with the cause of most modern relationships ending, it's not even funny.
Very true in many cases - but not all flaws are small and not all repeated areas of hurt silly. Detail matter - but I agree with the essence of what you're saying
@@CoachKen i did say little flaws. If your flaw is that you're a raging violent alcoholic or serial cheater then yea, not silly at all 😁
Applied to my ex! Exactly the same fantasy. Just so amazed, he is adult as a person but not in a relationship.
That was great
Sir, did you say that you leave your socks on the table? 😂😂😂 Great video!
no comment...but yeah....i have
Ken another great video, how long does limerince last ?
Limerence can last up to 3 years 😬
Thank you for the kind words Costarika!
Its best for men to be a narcissist because every woman will leave you for someone better in the end or cheat on you
My family called me a NARCISSIST because I never chased my ex when they left me
This is 100% fact
Haha. People today overuse this word without even knowing the actual meaning.
My wife slepted with someone else during no contacts got a tattoo of his name and got pregnant lol life is unexpected 😮 she trying to come back but I doubt it would work but we have 3 young kids lol help!!! 🤣
Coach Ken, my ex came back but insisted that we're not exclusive. She then saw a girl call my cell and now shes passive aggressive, ignored my text to meet up. It's not fair how entitled shes acting. I pushed to meet and talk and she ignored me.. what does this mean for me? I tried to show her i still cared about her. She took a day to respond. I got a little pissy about the disrespect and now she ignored me.. she knows in on the hook now and i look unattractive
I dated this girl almost 3 months. I fell for her everything click I never had that in my life. All thr sudden it's a switch turn, she went distant broke my heart. 2 months later she came back it felt like nothing changed about 2 week's the switch turned again. I was soooo good to her we never argue but she two separated getting divorced. She told me she don't want hurt me is why she's letting me go and sorry she lead me on. I talked her on thr phone also told me she has feels for me and she had feelings for another guy she dated in that 2 month's we didn't talk. Broke my heart! This happened 2 weeks ago I haven't text her in a week and half. Man life sucks. I been listening to your stuff and it's help me a lot when I think I should text or send flowers. But I think I made thing's ran into a friend of that guy she said she likes and told him we been hanging out. Showed proof on my phone. I'm so mad at myself for doing that.
It’s been 6 months of NC with my ex boyfriend. He dumped me because he thinks I was being too controlling and he thinks we are too different. I apologised but he didn’t want to reconcile. I still miss him. Should I be the one to reach out and break NC? 😞
Ooo man you had to bad mouth accountants 😢
Nope it was a upgrade