Overcoming Post Graduate Depression | Haydee Alonso | TEDxUTEP
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 มิ.ย. 2024
- Haydee Alonso shares her personal experience with post-graduate depression and how she overcame it. Haydee Alonso is a recent graduate of the world-renowned Royal College of Art in London, specializing in Jewellery and Metal. She was born in the border region of El Paso, Texas, USA and Ciudad Juarez, Chih, Mexico. Wedged between “no man’s land” Haydee has been forced to alternate between cultures and customs in an infinite attempt to connect.
Relationships.
Touch.
Attach.
Detach. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Graduating with a bachelor’s was my only focus as a student. Now that I recently graduated, the future is unknown. I don’t know which route to take and feel stuck. I try to have a positive mindset but each day that I submit job applications and don’t get a response is another stab to how I feel. This video made me realize that I’m not alone. I’m going to get through it one way or another. Thanks for the advice.
Have you gotten a job yet?
This is exactly what I feel and going through rn.
I feel the same I hope you find a job you love
This is exactly what Iam feeling right now .
Same here. I found a job 8 months ago but I still feel so isolated and lost… I’m stuck in my home town completely alone and working from home due to covid. I can’t stop grieving school, I miss it so much.
I just finished my undergraduate studies and technically graduated but because of the pandemic, our student life was cut short and graduation ceremony was cancelled. Not having closure from that student phase makes it worse. It all happens so suddenly that the shift is too overwhelming. I find myself breaking down from time to time cause I feel so lost. Adults have always warned me about the struggle after graduating yet here I am, totally under armoured
I feel you! Totally!
Amen, same here!
I an feeling the same exact thing as you! But trust me you'll get through this ❤️
Same here : (
also have had the exact same thing happened to me this year... it's a scary scary time but I hope you celebrate the completion of your degree, and I'm sure we will find our ways somehow❤️
This is so real. I was at my lowest when I graduated college...I thought it was everything I wanted, but realized a degree didnt do anything but push me into debt and depression
This!!!!
Yup yup
That’s me. CIS degree with 3.5gpa no experience and a lot of loans
I am going through the same situation too. 2 years been looking for a degree job but receive lots of rejection. I had to work a retail job just to survive to pay for rent and bills. I really hope you will get through this. We are in this together. I really hope you find your happiness in this life. Keep your head held high 👍👍👍. Its going to be okay
@@irfanmusa3410 what degree was that? What job were you trying to get?
I'm going through the exact same thing! It seems everyone is going places except me. This is not what I had imagined :(
This is sad because it's true. So many people graduate thinkinh they will get through with peers and lead a good life with a good job yet you're rooted down and sometimes you don't know what to do and the people you've once knew feels like they've left your life.
It hit me 2 days after I submitted my honours thesis. The last couple of weeks have been horrible and just... existing and fumbling through the day.
Imma shid erbody in dat school I swear on my soul😑 I done had enough bullshid round me I’m tired of it
I cut erbody off !
One thing to think about is don't think exactly that your friends who you think are doing well are happy. They might seem to get into a good job but we don't know if they are happy with it. It's like social media. Your looking at that persons good highlights and think they are happy with themselves. I'm currently doing a postgraduate course in UCL but worried what job will I get into after this course. There's a few job roles I'm looking at but worried about how often do vacancies come up and if I do get in
I’ve graduated 4 days ago, and already feel lost. No structure anymore, just a buzzing question of what I should do and be, which leaves me somewhat paralyzed.
@person depends on your country and personal situation i figure...
@capt truth that idea looks great!
can i ask how you are 9 months later? does it get better? i have so much anxiety
@capt truth That should be a social website
@@lifesnovaI wanna ask the same question. How is she now? It has been 4 months since my graduation and still doesn't know what's going on in my life. I just like floating out of nowhere.
So thankful for this video. I am watching this and crying in the library. Recently graduated with my masters and I have no idea what the future holds. I am going to fight this depression though... stay strong yall.
Update: I have had 2 jobs within my Career since this post!! Thank you for the kind words and for those that are bitter in the comments back Tf off.
feel ya stay strong
@@Rose-hg8ls I may be a stranger on the internet, but if you really feel that way and need to talk, do it. It can be me or anyone but don't keep it for yourself, I myself graduated few months ago and I know it's not easy.
I'm in the same boat !!! :/
If you feel you need to talk to someone please do just remember to take care of yourself and get help. Medication is ok. I want people to know that sometimes we cant handle things all are own
@@Rose-hg8ls hey youre going to be ok. I was in the same boat when i graduated and felt i had no one to talk to or go. Please talk to a professional and they can help you. I wish i had gotten real help when i was younger. Youre not alone.
I just feel like I lost the point of living after graduation… everything suddenly becomes so gloomy and hopeless
I wish i could stay in school forever. I dont want to run my own life, i dont want a job or kids. I want to stay and complain about lessons with my friends for the rest of my life. I wish I could stay in school forever and never grow up. The structure of school is my life, i dont want to go without it. Makes me tempted to just become a teacher to stay in school, but it wouldn’t be the same. Sucks.
same.. i hope you are doing better now
Here I am, I got to this point where I questioned everything. Social Media is toxic.. No matter how hard I tried to not compare myself and counting my blessings I can't help but feel like a failure each day. Graduate this year, still no job. Hundreds of applications. Idk where my life heads to. Simply just existing without a purpose. I thought after graduate life's would eventually make sense, but it isn't. And I cry for help. Good luck everyone
I feel you and I'm surprised of the amount of new graduates and fresh blood like us who are in the same spot.
:(
Why do you want to compare yourself with over one billion people on social media.
Statistically you will always find people who have better lives the more you try to compare yourself with others. Also here in Europe we need people with diploma, you can try online to find a job here in our countries (Luxembourg, Switzerland, Germany, etc)
Also one tip try to find a sport or another passion that brings you more happiness in life, the perfect life-fulfilling job or partner does not exist.
Hobbies and passions make people happy.
Oh girl.. I totally feel you.
When you compare yourself to others you'll end up getting hurt. I'm completely obsessed with my own life. I don't care about what anyone does and you shouldn't either. It doesn't matter and it shouldn't matter
It's been 10 months after finishing school....lost. sad. Rejection after rejection.
me too
I believe you will make it through. never give up on hope
Just Being Ania same here! ☹️
Join the club girl!!!
Same☹
The grad blues for me comes from the knowing that I literally just spent 3 years living in this communal bubble, where you make new friends, communities, become deeply engrained within societies and your course, partying, living entirely independently....to SUDDENLY and abruptly waking up and you're back in your room at home, hardly talking to anyone you met throughout the past 3 years, just existing, with what seems to be no true purpose really. Just...apply for graduate schemes, try to find work, and to make matters worse, completely isolate and distance from your friends at home because of lockdown. yEp bRILLIANT M8
For Gpd's sake.....grow up snowflake!!!
Why did you go to university then? I’m not trying to hate, but I’m not going to university for friends and the college life. I attend university for the prospect of getting a good job. Things will improve but it’s not the end of the world.
this is so me
@@darthmaul2742 Change can be difficult. Everyone knows they’re going to leave one day. But once you’re done school you’re done. No going back. It’s time to enter the real world which, lets be honest, is a b*tch.
It's a tough world, especially at the moment so hang tough. I struggled and still struggle with getting to grips with the world after 3 years of working now. It can be a bumpy road, I think you can do one of two things 1) pick an area or sector which you're interested/passionate and this can lead to a rewarding career - however this option can directly relate to your degree and if you're passionate about something which is actually quite hard to find within yourself, 2) Find a job and see where it takes you, I got my first job in recruitment I'm not passionate or interested but it made me money and gave me a purpose - covid Fu*ked it up slightly but found a job in software sales. Am I happy - no, can I be happy yes! Work and life is a trade of and there is no structure to it. Take it as it comes be open to learning from lots of people/experiences - keep moving forward. It's undeniably tough out there and it's OK to feel depressed and down, try to pick yourself and keep pushing through.
im at my lowest rn because i just realised that i spent the best years of my life in college and now im lost
i made friends, i became myself... now that im back home i just keep remembering memories and cry
How have you been doing? 4 days left of college my heart feels like it’s going to explode.
So crazy that no one talks about this.. hits hard how much uni displaces you once you’re done
Imagine if universities tell you straight up, you wouldn’t be as confident with giving them that money isn’t it?
@@txu2011 yes! I want to have a second degree in business, but I'm hesitant to pay 12000€ a year especially due to the fact our currency is so low compared to Euro. I fear I'll end up with nothing just like the first time.
@@whateverbabe From someone who has a few years of full time working experience, I'm confident to say you need you be in a business to understand the real challenges. With that said, most places I saw asked folks with masters in business as the requirement for a starting position. What I think it really means is work a job in a different function then business to learn about the field and that size of a company intimately and it will help you make informed decision on what to do next.
@@txu2011 good advice thank you!
But you know, my dad started a company for medical equipments and named it after me, he wants me to be in charge of it while I have no experince, I said why not go study abroad and go back and build it in a more professional way? But I fear I'd waste 3 years for nothing, now I'm 25.
@@whateverbabe When we face real responsibilities, it's easy to think we want to prep as much as possible before we actually take them on. In reality, life is not a rehearsal, you just to have drive right in and make mistakes in the process. It might be in your interest to work in your dad's company for a bit just so that you are sure whatever additional degree you want to get is useful to you. Best of wishes~
I love reading all the comments. It made me feel that I'm not alone. Reading the comments also made me feel that I have someone to talk about my feelings. Like everyone here, I graduated from university but still waiting for the ceremony. Decided to took a months break before searching for a job that is related to my degree. I know that it will be harder to find a job since the pandemic happened but I want to keep trying. The gloomy and rainy season in our country added to my graduation blues. I also quit social media beside yt since it took toll on my mental health seeing every of my batchmates having a job. I just hope that it will get better soon.
I am considering detoxing from social media for a bit. How has it helped you so far?
@@Screwhdz Hello! It's been months since I detoxify myself from social media and I can say it did wonders for my mental health. I no longer overthink and it keeps my anxiety at bay. I also focus on myself more and it made me happier about my current self. I recommend trying it.
@@nerelynregudon3567 Thank you, I relate to that. I overthink so much & have anxiety. Social media now at days is helpful yet not. I don’t like the false insecurities I make because of social media. My mental health is a battle I fight constantly. Despite my achievements & things that I should be happy about, my overthink hyper focuses on the wrong things at times. Bringing me down and leaving me in this bubble of negativity. I’m just trying to let go of old things and improve my mental health.
Sorry I made this reply longer than it should have, right now I’m at a point where I can feel myself fighting to make sure I don’t fall to deep into that “bubble” again. :(
Thank you for replying though I appreciate you.
This is where I am at right now, just a WHOLE WEEK to wait for graduation and all my friends are going home and I miss them already! Social media is weird it makes me feel both connected and disconnected from my friends. However I can say it’s help me both find jobs and also find friends in similar situations when I opened up more about the random career issues I was struggling with online. Social media though makes me hella paranoid, definitely want to detox from it for a bit and focus on reading lots of books this summer. The job market is horrible where I live, they don’t accept bachelors degrees whatsoever and I feel screwed because my parents worked their whole life for this and it wasn’t like that when I started college 6 years ago. I’m actually thinking about starting a business and creating jobs with no idea how to do that haha, however social media has actually me find jobs, it’s humbling you just say on your story help I need a job like such and such and someone will likely respond to you because people love helping people
Success isn't linear, you're allowed to have ups and downs, and it is okay to feel sad about it. If you're hitting a low point after doing really well your hard work is not erased. Here's to all the grads graduating during the pandemic (including me), we WILL get through this, just gotta stay strong.
Powerful message. Thanks.
Post graduate depression is horrible but put a 😷Pandemic (Covid-19), Riots, looting, shootings, racism, social-distancing and etc on top of your stress.. WOW! This has probably been the worst experience of my life. Congratulations 🎉🎊 to me tho! Masters of Social Work 👌🏽Class of 2020 awesome sauce.😶
Congratulations , I just finished my Bachelors degree and am so lost in life especially with everything happening now.
I feel this too! Also, congrats! I got my Bachelor's in Social Work this May!
You hit the nail on the head. There's so much weight on all our shoulders, all current events considered. It is only human to feel overwhelmed / lost sometimes, and especially so right now. Stay strong friend. You are not alone.
I feel you, I’m in the same boat. You feel like your getting it together one day and completely lost the next.
Actually...its the best experience. Cup half full
Unemployed after a year of finishing college. I’m even thinking of studying something else. Totally get that drifting feeling. I never really had a dream job or anything; but also imagined myself in a lot of different fields. Maybe I’ll do a masters degree just to keep me going somewhere. Dont wanna end up at a telemarketing gig but I’m not really getting anymore chances with the pandemic. Living in a third world country sucks. Be grateful guys; we’ll all get better.
Edit; For anyone reading this; I could point out that I know some of my peers that were struggling the same ended up chasing different careers, entering fields they didn’t study for or even freelancing and managing their own businesses. life isn’t linear.
We're on the same page.
Restaurants and bars are missing people currently, up to 25 dollars per hour.
That's work until you find something with your diploma
@@THEREALZENFORCE That's good advice. I did manage to get a job as an interpreter; still not enough right now to make a whole living. It's still a win in the meantime, it's very hopeful to get a certification and hope that will get you into a certain kind of job especially not living in the US.
@@j.f.1982 What did you study ?
If you can try doing your master at least because with a bachelor alone it is soon not enough in the USA, here in Europe a bachelor is already not enough.
Here in Luxembourg with an economics master and especially with a computer data base master your chances of getting a job are good even with English only (even if French is preferred).
Am holding a master degree and i end up at a telemarketing gig 😂
i have post graduate depression but I have a good job. I guess I never thought my life would be wasted working...
How long did it take you to find the job?
John Johnson I feel the same, man.
I miss the days when everyone felt like they could do anything and be anyone before reality hit. Those naive days, 16-18 were the best.
aena mustafa It’s a lot of fun, and the connections you make and the people you meet make it worth it, no doubt.
@aena mustafa just dont get too much into debt
Just graduated undergrad, and yeah a degree feels great, but it's sooo hard adjusting to life now... its so weird
Same
See the above....for God's sake ...grow up snowflake!!!
Same.
i just finished undergrad this past weekend. took me six years and i’m 26. finishing undergrad was my main priority. i put it before everything. I already work a decent job. i now feel like the excitement i was anticipating from graduation is over. it was literally just a moment. really don’t know what i want next.
I‘ve come to a realization that we’re all the authors of our story - the creators of our reality. Gotta be your own hero and compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Everyone’s got their own milestone and metrics of success. I dropped college twice by the age of 25, but had work and life experience that someone who graduated does. The I started over and re-enrolled to University at 27. I’m 32 now… rowing my boat to nirvana.
Comforting to know others are going through similar experiences. We are not alone and we have to make it out together! I graduated in the top 10% of my 2020 class in uni and everything was so abrupt due to COVID it just feels like yesterday I was on campus studying, socializing, etc. Moving back home was probably one of the roughest things I've gone through because I was expecting a warm bubble of support and celebration only to find myself stressed in the harsh reality of solitude.
After finding a low paying retail job, I felt like I was going insane at home. I couldn't stay there anymore. I decided to look into Master's programs. I was accepted and am now in an intense Master's program, but not content as I feel as if I rushed myself into it because I knew it would bring structure rather than enjoyment to my life. I thought moving away from home and throwing myself into my studies would make me feel better, but I just feel overwhelmed, broke, and lonely.
It’s real! It’s so real. I’m feeling like suicide right now
So let's get this straight. You have spent a lot of money on a Bachelor's degree and couldn't get a job......and now you are spending even MORE money for
a Master's Degree.....and HOPE to get a job??
Your story hit close to my heart. I also graduated last year which occurs in the middle of pandemic. As if the pandemic is not enough, we have to practice social distancing. It is understandable to follow the guidelines set by Health Organization, however little do I know that it started to take a toll in my mental health. Fast forward the story, I started to find jobs, but end up with countless rejections. And to make the matter worse, I couldn’t handle the rejection. I thought to myself what I’m lacking of, why I do have to wait for a long time just to be ghosted by the employer, do my bachelors degree can even land me a job, is there a job opportunity available for my course? Too much thought going on in my head. And while I’m searching for a stable job, I also worked at low-paying retail sector which is quite hard for me as I have to do a lot of heavy-lifting. But I still can endure it, the only thing that bother me the most is that how long should I wait to be able to work in the field of my study which is science. There is also expectation from people around me but I couldn’t care less about that, bcs our live is not defined by people opinion or expectation. But deep in my heart, I feel sad and disappointed bcs I couldn’t get the job that I want, the merrier graduation convocation etc for my family, and also for myself, my future.
That’s when I take a leap of faith, and decide to pursue a Master’s degree. But now, I realized that I just made a hasty decision. It is definitely on a whole other level from the previous degree. With the current lockdown situation in my place, I have to do a lot of reading, collecting resource and analyze them alone. My self-confidence is low, flame of motivation getting dimmer day by day, and my state of mind is unwell. Still, this is the journey that I choose, so I must go through with it until the end to see the finish line. No matter how hard it’s going to be, or how long this journey will take, I have to faced it as it is always in my belief that everything will eventually fall to its place as long as you don’t give up. So hang in there bro👊
Look who it is!! 🤗 What a coincidence in just reading through the comments section haha, Samuel I'm feeling the same exact way right now.. I'm missing the structure of university and having a set schedule. Now, I'm not so sure of anything tbh and I'm not really trying to chase a career ladder since that's not my personal definition of success. I hope you're doing better, let me know if you have any tips on how to get out of this funk! 😵
Hey. I saw your comment here. Not sure if you’ll ever see this, but I hope you’re doing a lot better since posting this. I feel your pain and I wish the best for you and the other people here that are going through the same thing.
I am going through this now. I graduate with my Bachelors in Biology and I am extremely passionate about ecology and sustainability. I am terrified I won't make it in my field. I want to make a difference in the world. After graduating, I feel lost and unsure of how the next steps are going to happen. Feels great to know I am not alone in this
Honestly going through this right now, degree & all, and I'm having the exact same feelings. Goodluck!
Same here sis, very similar story. May we find our path, full of abundance, learning opportunities and fun! We can do it ❤️
It's been two years since I graduated... and I'm still having this depression... feeling lost.. and quarantine made everything harder ...
When u graduate college everyone is saying congrats 🎉 and u gonna feel loved like u never have before and u gonna feel like u finally matter to people in this world then boom… people forget about u a week or two later lolll and now the real world gets a hold of you loll .
It took two years and then tonight I found myself sobbing in my car when yes it hit like a bus that I am grieving my college life and everything from the past 5 years. We will get through this
That's a harsh reality. After graduation, we are all lost. There are so many career options available but we do not know which one to choose. Then we get gap years , nobody to guide, talk about career prospects and you start losing yourself even more.
Most of my friends vanished, all jobs were minimum wage or wanted 3-5 years experience, and I gained weight from suddenly changing from an active college lifestyle to a sedentary one common with 9-5 jobs. Then the pandemic happened making everything harder. Good to know I'm not alone
Graduated last 2019. Been on and off looking for jobs. Its such a social pressure because in univ we had this vision of ourselves when we graduate. "The definition of success evolves" is what hit me. Success is relative, success changes. It means that success is dynamic, not an end destination. Success is a process of a series on trying and failing, of hoping and getting back up on your knees. Post graduate depression is something that should be discussed more.
Im feeling this and I havent graduated yet.
Just graduated from vet school and it hurts. You miss a lot of things and people, but we carry on..
Grad school is not an answer to hopelessness with entering the job market. Insight with love.
Graduated last year as a graphic designer and took a gap year cause I was burnt out and it's the best thing ever. Was able to figure out all the emotions I was feeling, being able to do all the things I've always wanted to & helped me figured out what my next steps are. No regrets :)
What did you do during your gap year? I literally just graduated with an Art degree and I'd love to hear how your gap year helped you and what you were able to do during that time!
can we guys connect?? I am in English major and I have no idea what I am gonna do. I might take a gap year,but what to do in that year? I am thinking of taking graphic design course thou.
👍👍👍
Thank you for sharing this I needed to hear it ☺️ I actually had a great time during my last gap year just played concerts and produced
Graduated in 2020! Covid depression + post grad depression hit me way harder than I thought!
It feels like as though nobody in society worries about the jobless . Why aren't young adults taught on how to correctly ace interviews ? It’s such a crucial issue.
I think the bigger issue is that the interviews themselves are extremely competitive. Perhaps everyone already is acing their interviews and because of that, hiring teams are forced to make difficult decisions and turn away many people. I think if candidates got feedback for their interviews more often, it would help resolve some anxieties they have with the job-searching process.
I recently graduated and having a hard time to getting hired. I'm not sure about my future and I'm scared. I'm still waiting for that call. Hoping that I will be employed before this month ends.
Update: I get hired before September ends. Tho, the salary was small but I'm still glad that I got that. I am looking forward for the experience and learning more than the salary. Since I'm a fresh graduate that needs to have a experience before getting employed by a bigger companies.
Another Update: I did not expect that I'll have a roller coaster ride after graduation. Hahaha. I got employed but for some reason I resign because of the below minimum salary. I'm a fresh graduate but I need to think about providing to my family. I need to be employed by a company that will give me compensation very well.
@@mynameisthirteen978 Hi im glad to hear you got hired! I just graduated this January and I've been applying to jobs and not hearing back after the first interview. Reading your comment gives me hope because I dont have much experience and even entry level jobs are requiring some sort of experience.
@@daisymarquez6053 You'll be good. I know you will and don't pressure yourself with everything
This is exactly what I am going through for 2 years.
Having a post-grad degree in Economics m worthless.
And seeing freshly grad getting higher packages is just heartbreaking.
I didn't spend my money on education to suffer unemployment
Finished my undergrad in Electrical Engineering with First Class Honors in June. I don't have a job yet. I came to this video after my first full day of job-searching since November because I was becoming obsessed with my hobbies in order to escape from the reality that I needed money. So I felt this deeply. Stay strong, my friends, let's keep working, having faith in ourselves and the universe and we'll be okay!
I also studied Electrical Engineering at University of Nairobi (in Kenya) & graduated with a First Class Honors too. I can totally relate. How are you fairing now? I need help coz I feel like I am falling into depression almost a year after finishing.
did you find a job?
Wow I’m so thankful that this video exists. Reading all the comments made me realise how I’m not the only one experiencing this and it’s helping me ease my anxiety. My mental health has always been fine my whole life until this year, and I’m not sure if its because I just graduated from 5 years of university and I’m going through a transitional phase in my life or Covid; perhaps it’s both. I feel so lost, confused, directionless and it scares me deeply. Similarly to the speaker, I spent 5 years away from home and to move back into the parent’s home after graduating feels like a step back in life. Moving back to my hometown also meant reaching out to old high school friends, only to feel that they have moved on with their own lives and that we have little in common (could just be me overthinking or reality, or a mix of both). I think the thing that hits the hardest is spending our lives surrounded by like minded friends from when we’re in primary school all the way to University and to suddenly be working a 9-5 job, all in the blink of an eye. No one told me how difficult this transition could be, and it’s made me question why I’ve been feeling so anxious, depressed and lost all the time, even though technically I should be satisfied to have a job, a roof over my head, loving family, etc.
It's hit me I'm officially 4 years out of high school - so I'm as long out as I was in. It's gone so fast. I feel like a part of me was lost - as if I literally lost a piece of myself in high school, and I couldn't get that piece unstuck. I think it's mainly due to the fact I've started to realize how much I regret. I had lost my mother when I was 13 (about 2 weeks before my 8th grade promotion) which sent me into a spiral during high school. Only sleeping 3 hours a night. Most of that time is now extremely fuzzy and I can't even see the time line. I question if I even went to school during my freshman year, because I truly have no memories. I just hope I can truly look back one day and be okay with where I ended up, because I can't seem to shake this off.
I'm about to graduate in a few months and I can relate to this completely. My 2020 internship was scrapped because of Covid, an internship that was extremely competitive and hard to come by. I've applied for dozens of graduate jobs but it's been a steady stream of rejection emails thus far. Being an international student studying thousands of miles away from home, the prospect of moving back to my parent's house after spending 4 years chasing a degree makes me feel like I've failed massively. Especially when a number of my peers are moving on to bigger and better things in their lives. I'm doing my best to keep my head up and search harder for opportunities, but it isn't easy being hopeful when everything keeps blowing up in my face.
Did you end up finding something?
What’s your update zack?
OMG my internship was the same way now I can’t get one like it I still think of the what ifs but took a different, longer path. I’ve actually just worked on bettering myself as a person, being kinder to friends and family while in school for longer and really working on myself and my body and learning new skills like dancing and foreign languages, idk if that helps at all but I figure it’ll pay off down the road
Since the pandemic started, I've lost my plans in life. My ambitions became just dreams and I feel like I am left behind by everybody. I don't feel any motivation at all to work again for my dreams, to study abroad, to get masters in a big university, to have a better job, to become a writer, an inspiration...or just to be somebody that is well off. Now, I just want to sit, stare into space, regret everything, and play every game that can make time jump fast.
They need to make a new college where it literally teaches you how to do real life skills like parenting, cooking, organizing, job stuff, how to make real friends, etc because as silly as that sounds I think our education system is missing a lot, however once you graduate you get to work on ALL of that :)
Minute 6:35
*me watching this video at **5:13** in the morning alone in my room in the dark because I’ve been trying to go back to sleep since 2am*
Post grad depression really hit different
joshuaca7 lmao sameeee
sameee!! it's 5:36 am and Ive been trying to sleep since 2am
As a graduate from the class of 2020, I felt I was thrown into the "adulting world" without formally closing out my college life- no grad ceremony, no official "marker"- putting the end to that last chapter of my life all while already moving forward to the next step ... the youtube algo knew just what I needed today!
I was a fricking star in college and involved in everything. After graduating I feel super lost, unemployed and not happy.
Did you work at Caribou Coffee previously?
It’s hard after graduating from a degree, but you have work to do and get a job. That is the rite of life.
Aw i'm glad someone is talking about this. You're kind of pushed out into the world after graduating and can be quite daunting trying to figure what your next move is. I would encourage all the grads out there to take this time to really think about what it is you want to do in life and to explore your true passions. Part of the wonder of life it that you don't know what's around the corner. So dream big, be persistent and seize every opportunity! It does get better trust me :)
This is so real. I graduated a year ago and obtained my interior design bachelor. I killed myself to try and get good grades and show my artistic side in a university where for me was a very toxic environment. Had a really hard time enjoying it, meeting people and most importantly making friends as an 18 year old moving to another country, having another life and finding myself through all of it. I finally get my diploma, have done 4 internships in great companies, and still a year later I am not able to find a job that can value my work ethic, my experiences and knowledge I have gained throughout those internships. Companies when hiring want to pay nothing, want you to work over hours and expect you to be the best. Post grad depression is real. No real opportunity to demonstrate what you can do and here I am after a whole `gap`year back to square one.
I am currently writing my masters thesis and really struggeling to finish it just because out of the fear about what happens afterwards. I don't know what to do, what I want and which choices are the best or worst ones for me, there are so many opportunities yet nothing feels right and I am afraid that I'll not be able to sustain myself financially and mentally at the same time. So good to hear I am not alone with this and I am quite sure that after the pandemic there are even more graduates feeling that way.
I am glad that I found this. Her words couldn’t be more true and sincere. Having going through this about a year plus, and at least we now this is call PGD. Thanks Haydee for sharing, the burden on my back and heart have lessen after listen to this. 🙏🙏
I'm dealing with this now and like you said its weird when you haven't dealt with any mental issues before. I'm glad I watched your video today because it pushed me to reach out to my friends. My ego is high too and I'm finally learning to calm it down. Looking for a job after graduation and the pandemic has been so difficult because like you said there's many more people who want the same thing as you.
I haven't even graduated yet, I still have my last semester and I feel this wave of anxiety first thing in the morning everyday. Thousands of questions running through my mind, "Do I need to give all these exams? Will I be prepared for the exams in time? Am I even smart enough to give these exams? Should I drop for a year? What will I do in that year? Should I look for a job?" And then my mother saying I'm overthinking. Well, of course I am mom, I've been locked up in my house for 2 years of college while doing nothing and now I have only 6 months and I'm scared shitless.
I feel the same!!
Thanks for the jewels , graduated 8 months ago still no job
Am in the ruts of post graduation depression, watching this hoping i will overcome it.
This right here.... hits HOME😢
Couldn't have agreed more
I just finished my BA animation course a few days ago. Its terrifying, theres a feeling ive never felt before a strange hopelessness and i cant explain it. My part time job has been one of the only things keeping me grounded. Yet that still causes anxiety as i now wonder if this is what im going to be stuck doing. The pandemic caused my uni, much like others, to finish our final year online. I believe this has made it feel worse as the finalization of my course is not realised. Not yet anyway. Ive gone from working on 3 or 4 different projects at once (along with a part time job) to working a few hours a week looking for a job that barely pays the bills and passes the time.
To everyone else going through this strange time as a graduate. Im more than sure we have got this. We will find a way to push forward. Keep pushing through, if we can manage to graduate in these trying times then we can do anything! And even if you havent graduated and feel this way. Youre doing great. We can all do this. We just have to stay positive and keep trying.
at least you got a job
I graduated college 4 yrs ago, and everyone that I know that did not do well in college get a job that I wanted.
It makes me think hard about what did I do wrong.
same boat. not to mention the competition.
Same :(
Same, people I knew who did worst than me got better jobs (I’m happy for them) but it sort of made me realise that it’s all about luck, connecting with the right people etc. I completed my Masters in October 2020 and have still been unemployed since then. It’s tough, but hopefully we find something.
College are such defining years of our character. There’s separation anxiety that comes with leaving the institution that supplies you with access to the things you require without properly introducing you to the world. I’ve learned to facilitate connections and network on the other hand I can not be certain I could create the ideal world I so desperately wish to live in.
I had that right after I graduated from Highschool. Really relieved I’m not alone.
I’m so glad I found this video. I graduated a year ago and have been shifting into a different industry from what my studies prepped me for. I am lost. I constantly feel on edge as if I’m on the verge of failing as a person. There’s a lot of expectation from many other people. I have a general idea of what I want but I don’t know how to get there, where I need to be and the things I need to do. Focused so much on graduating I forewent thinking about afterwards. I want to move forward but feel as though I need to start over and go again.
I thought I am the only one who are going through this state of feeling, but I am glad now I found people like me suffering in silence in comments. Hopefully, one day we will reach our goals and be the person you want to be for the rest of your life. Rememeber you are not alone
Personally, not being a twenty something graduate, I hope I can share some insight. When I graduated at 40+ I realized I was filled with all kinds of insecurity and felt the same intimidating vibe upon entering the work force. It was depressing and I beat myself up continuously for not feeling the great sense of accomplishment or pride I was “supposed to feel.” I took a vacation alone and learned about imposter syndrome. Ted tv actually talks about this and as I listened I cried. I changed my view and it changed my demeanor allowing me to become more confident and brought me at least to a point where I could feel pride in what I had done. Instead of being intimidated by the experienced side glancing experienced professionals around me, I turned to them for mentoring. I learned that there was a mentality of sink or swim for most of the people I talked to. There’s an understanding that today, people entering expect to be handed a career, and I realize this is not true, we want respect. I realized that get the respect I had to show Humility and that did not mean entering the room with my tail tucked, head down, and silence. Humility is earned by accepting personal imperfections and having the voice if need be to accept personal, not failure, but human mistakes. When we accept where we are wrong, we are given respect because we are seen as what we are, competent graduates able to voice an understanding of something bigger than our pride. Therein lies confidence because respect is automatically given. Check out imposter syndrome, and please realize that creating divides in the work place based on age or experience will keep us divided. Embrace the differences and respect those that had to sink or swim, they know the survival skills and that is what all new grads need.
I’m graduating now in 2024 with my bachelors degree and I feel weird about the whole thing. Ima miss going to class, doing homework (not so much but just the idea that I’m doing something for my future), going to the recreation center with friends, communicating with classmates, being on campus, etc. now that I’m graduating I feel lost and also depressed. I know what I want to do post graduation but the fact that college is no more and school is done, makes me feel empty and alone.
After graduation, I really felt something different. It's hard to describe but at least, after watching this, I realized that I'm not alone. It feels like breaking up with a relationship.
This is so real. I graduated in 2019, had a great job right out of college and moved to my dream city. Made a leap to leave the job and take a gap year in 2020 and travel abroad...then the pandemic happened. Traveling got short and have been struggling trying to get my career back on track. Currently working part-time in a job that isn't all that fulfilling or interesting, living paycheck to paycheck. I've felt stuck in some ways these past two years but I have grown in a lot of other ways I am grateful for, especially my battle with depression and ptsd. I have been doing a lot of work to improve and it's still a daily struggle but I no longer want to die. I want to fight for my life and build something for myself, no matter how hard or how long it takes, I'm not going to give up on myself.
Definitely needs to be spoken about more as it is a very common thing happening in life ...
I have a highly intelligent and well-employed sister who doesn't understand that life with average intelligence can't be as simple as she thinks. She kept on scolding me for not having a job. I have a feeling like the college degree I got doesn't really lead me to what I want to be. I have stuttering disorder which makes me difficult to communicate well. I feel so unmotivated and feel anxious about the outside world. People around could criticise me if I took a job that doesn't fit to what college degree I had. My family threat to kick me out of the house if I can't help them pay the bills and foods I ate inside the house. Don't you really have a family when you have nothing? You only have a family when you have something? Should I blame my parent for giving birth to me?
That was a sad thing :(
keep pushing, try to walk-in the companies.
don't ever give up, you're not alone.
Your parents decided to make love and brought you to this world. They decided to take responsibility. For that reason, you DON'T owe them ANYTHING. They, however, owe you EVERYTHING. Always remember that.
I hope things are getting better? wish you all happiness and success 🙏🏼
So happy to see that this problem is experienced by so many people......will get through it slowly❤
I graduated May 2022 and I'm still searching. Not only do I got the degree, I got the experience too. I had 3 internships through college in my field for a year each. They were hypin us up talking about "we need youth in this field and there's no way you can't get a job because of how broad your degree is and the skills were planting in you". Meanwhile after putting in over 40 applications im still sitting here wondering what's wrong. I reach out to alumni, my department, calling jobs that I really want all day and still nothing. Now people telling me to lower my expectations, look outside my field, and it's about who you know and not your skill set and experience. So why tf I go to school for?? I'm just so tired and it's really depressing me cuz all my college friends went right into their career jobs in our field and something doable for them.🥲 Now I feel like a failure and I was telling people about how cool my field is to me just to end up some where random.
I recently graduated in May as well and I can totally relate. The job hunt is brutal and college does not really prepare us for it. Best of luck on your search and I hope you get your dream role soon.
I was in similar situation. It's hard but stay strong. Keep applying, improving bit by bit! Best of luck.
I will be graduating in May 2022 from an engineering degree . Instead of being excited for the future i feel scared because i feel unprepared to go into a professional job. i dont know what sort of job roles to even apply for because after 4 years i stil dont really know what i want to do with my life. Its soul destroying
being able to work and hold down a job while going through stuff and with a post grad degree is tough mentally - this girl has my absolute respect
I just graduated and I feel lost, depressed and confused because I should be grateful for the opportunity.
me too
This is such an important topic and one that no one really acknowledged 25 years ago when it happened to me. I barely functioned for 3 years after graduation. Also, oddly relevant to my life now. My child is raised and at university, I haven’t worked full time in 15 years and honestly am struggling to see what I want to do, my husband is just out of the service thus cutting our tight social bonds that living on a base provides.... After all the hard work I did in counseling in my early 20’s to conquer my depression, no one warned me that under similar transitioning circumstances it could come back full force.
Thankful that I stumbled upon this video today. I KNOW that there must be other empty nesters and former military spouses going through this too; a good start will be reaching out to find them.
I just graduated college today. I had a great time celebrating with people I love, but the depression is slowly starting to hit. I have been looking forward to being done with school for a while so I could find a job and start my career, but knowing I'll probably never see most of the people I graduated with again is really tough and having to find a new friend group wherever I end up working will also be tough.
Wow. thank you for sharing your story - we don't always anticipate how post-grad depression can impact us after such a structured experience - we might not even realize it until time passes. As you mentioned, it can manifest in a way that may not appear to be depression; until it does. Thank you for sharing this 4 years ago; I'm positive that this speech is immensely valuable now for those who graduated during COVID. It has impacted me and gives me a lot of hope
The way she said “the rest of my life” just sounds so terrifying and if you pick the wrong choice, you’re life will be ruined.
That's not true
I relate this sooo much and I'm thankful someone is sharing their experience on it so I don't feel alone. I thought I was alone in feeling so down because graduation is painted as such a happy experience. Not many talk about the blues behind it. And I felt lonely in feeling so sad.
I felt all of this so much. I just graduated undergrad and I’ve really been struggling, lately to figure out my future and what I truly want or where I want to be. As a result, I’ve became depressed and don’t feel like myself currently, but I have hope that it will get better.
Same here, I am passing the worst days of my life in my postgraduate study, thank you for sharing, your experience gave me a hope that this too shall pass
I am very happy i found this, i do not feel alone... ive worked very hard for my bachelor and master. Then i got an internship but the company due to covid was doing very badly. Now i feel like i started at block 0. No one wants to hire me because lack of experience. I have a very good life but still feel sad to be such a burden to my family and partner
All I can say is thank you. I have been struggling for months now since graduating in summer 2021. I am lucky and managed to get straight into a Job following this, however I’ve not been happy, it’s not felt right and I’ve been stuck, lost and a shell of myself. I’ve not been able to fully understand the why, but this video has helped me take a huge step forward in answering the why. It is also reassuring to not feel alone anymore, knowing many other people go through the exact same thing. The hardest part as you say is no one talks about it. I hope this can change ❤️
Universal language I hope you know
Honestly, I needed to hear this more than ever because thats how I've been feeling for awhile.
Everything is going to be okay.
🤗
Going through this right now. I finished uni before the summer, had my graduation last month and now I feel like I’m just.. drifting
Just graduated yesterday. Here we go. Definitely feel lost right now, even with graduate school possibly in the future, not the same certainly a little lost after undergrad
This was amazing. This hit home hard. Thank you.
My stomach turned once during the video. Being hit by a bus - that sums it up so well. I'm glad I found this video.
I graduated yesterday. With a good grade (not a very good one, I wanted a very good one and I'm still working on accepting that). I have a job, already during my studies I worked. Still, I have the feeling that even lifting my head is a heavy task.
Maaaan I am suffering from this so bad , I didn’t know what was happening or why I feel that way. Now I am totally understanding me more
That part about displacement among folks who can’t relate & still working that “basic” gig after financial debt & no experience in your field. Insult to injury was friends & colleagues anticipating my demise & failure at launching business. Basically speaking my doom into existence before any true obstacles have risen😔
I just graduated last December and I am so lost. Idk what to do idk what to think. Idk what to expect, I'm so lost. How can I not find a job when I won awards and I was on the deans list. Now I'm trying to discover myself and my interest. For the first time I'm not some machine that is cramming.
totally feeling you
Graduated December 2019... hundreds of applications later, I'm still getting rejected. Contemplated suicide twice. Getting harder to carry on like this
Don't. Something will come up. Go through the comments on here and you'll find similar stories. It's tough at first but something will come up. Hang in there.
The fact that you are still trying shows your have guts and amazing character. Know it's not your fault that you are facing this, you are doing your best and giving it your all. One day someone will see that and the right recruiter/job for you will come. I know exactly how you feel but all things have to come to a end. You don't know when change will come but I pray and hope it comes for you soon.
I feel you. Are you trying for phD?
I heard a saying I sadly can’t remember from who but they said “It gets better. Just keep going as you get older it will get better.” This single saying has kept my head up as much as possible and these last 2 years have been the worst 2 years of my life. I’m completely alone, sad, living with my parents who don’t care enough to see that I cry every other night looking back at the memories from school (13 years old to 18). I’m almost 20 now and I need to take action to change. I can’t remember if I contemplated suicide as my memory has been getting worse but I think I have been close. What I thought was my plan if everything didn’t end up going my way completely changed sadly. My parents changed. They only care about them showing off to their friends and see me as a robot more than an actual person. I just feel like they don’t care. My family isn’t perfect and hasn’t been for I think forever but it’s just normal to me now. But in these last 2 years, I almost gave up on that saying but I’m not going to give up on that saying. Never. I’m going to make my life what I want to make it. I’m going to choose my own destiny. I hope this comment has helped you or that maybe you can relate to my story a bit. I hope everything goes your way my friend. I want everyone to be happy and chase their dreams.
hope all is well, how's it going?
So much courage in coming up on a stage to talk about such a vulnerable experience. I find myself in a similar position. :( I only hope to get out of it!
this has clarified some things I am currently going throught . I am glad I found this
She is so real about it!!!! I've never related to another human being more in my life...I just graduated with my bachelor's thinking I would feel "fullfilled" when honestly it made me empty. I had to start serving in a restaurant again too just to make ends meet and part of me feels disappointed in myself for "going backwards" in my job choice BUT success is relative!!!
thank you for sharing this feeling , seems like it's guide me to positive things
Dealing with bipolar swings and my depression is the greatest because i spent a whole year in a place and a routine I didn’t even imagine or like , I didn’t even think about my work as a doctor will be this boring , and I can’t put my finger on the cause ( the place ? The coworkers? The speciality that i hated but found an only job at it ? The fact that i was one the top students in uni then now i’m lost not knowing where to go , my passion in some particular speciality started to fade because i’m scared that i’ll apply and work at it , study it then be shocked that it’s not as I expected it to be then i’ll lose another form of passion that i was always clinging to. Time feels so scary and i’ve never thought i’ll reach this point of feeling lost and
at the same time .
I am going through this right now after having received my masters degree. I had no idea I have been going through this until now. My program and all the people in it were so close and amazing and I’m scared that I’m never going to have that closeness with anyone and another program again.
This was absolutely lovely and uplifting. Thank you
Graduated last year after studying acting and filmmaking. Getting into that industry is hard enough but it’s even worse because of Covid. Thankfully I’ve been working at my family’s garden centre for the past year. But I no friends and no social life. It’s incredibly hard for me not to get into deep depressive episodes because I am so socially deprived. It’s hard to stay motivated
Thank you for this. I appreciate your story telling and reminder we’re going to be ok.
Just graduated this past Saturday n I’m having a rough time realizing I’ll never go back to high school 🙁
was wondering if this was a thing. graduated 2020. thank you for this video.
I’m so thankful for this video. I’m currently going through this.
I lived in Canada for 4 years and did the majority of my undergrad there. I moved back to Europe a year ago and just am finishing my degree here. Both, graduation in a pandemic and moving home after living abroad is extremely challenging and I am feeling quite depressed. Not only because I have no idea what comes next, but because I'm grieving the years in school that just ended.