Then way she is describing integration reminds me a lot of when the Doctor regenerates. Highly influenced by who they were but still a whole new person.
When she was talking about Chloe and Nina not being gone I instantly thought of the first episode with Twelve and Clara at the end after the phone call with Eleven where he explains that he’s still himself even though he’s different.
To split off into a system, you need to be repeatedly traumatized as a child with no psychological coping mechanism. (Mine was repressing all the awful memories of my parents fighting and my dad hurting my mom. This is why I can't remember half my single digit years, but I can remember two of my childhood friends.) Your fight or flight system would fail to kick in and keep you safe (I thrashed and kicked my legs whenever I was picked up during an autistic meltdown, and would let out a shrill shriek in self defense.) The fragments of your personality would fail to tie together (in a singlet like me, my personality tied together and I could remember everything I did and to this day I'm always aware of every single second of my life, even when I daze off and stop responding.) I will never know first-hand what dissociation feels like (because I've never dissociated), but I can always talk to a system about what it feels like.
Vanessa Walsh i have a question for you, if you don’t mind. Is it possible for you to engage in conversations with other alters? Just curious, I’m kinda new around here
Before i learned about this disorder i felt like a child for a very long time and then one day i just woke up and I was an adult and i LITERALLY thought that everyone did this because it's kinda the running joke in comedy right how fast it can happen? but no, apparently this is not normal and im gonna go get it checked out lmao
@@lixonzito2481 but it just doesn't make sense, steven said "did i make a good impression?" And then garnet says "oh steven, we already love you"?? That doesn't make sense it's supposed to say "oh steven, we already know you"
She sounds more whole though, if that makes sense. I came here from Anthony Padilla's video, and when I saw Chloe, I was confused, because I didn't remember her vibe to be so... innocent. So now knowing Nin is the result of Chloe and Nina integrating, it makes sense.
@@Rhaphidophile same. i haven't been up to date with them so when i saw her i was like "oh! it's chloe!" then she started talking and i was so confused why she seemed so much calmer.
@@mariejeanne8116 you just blew my mind! ❤ I'm just discovering her channel so I'm trying to catch up. I can't imagine the difficulty their fans had last year when this happened, my heart goes out to you guys.
Hi! I found your channel through the interview with Anthony Padilla and god, I just want to say, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you guys so much. I truly mean it 😭🥺❤️
Wow, I can really tell that Nin is not Chloe. By which I mean, just hearing Nin speak about things we have heard Chloe talk about for so long, it is so clear that Nin is not Chloe. Nin is a new person born into this world with her own mannerisms and way of expressing herself. Wow.
I've noticed that as well when I watched one of the most recent videos after being away for a while, the reason I began looking back at these videos to know who this new person is, you can definitely notice the difference yet the odd similarity like you met her before--and well... We did
It’s almost Nin’s one year anniversary! I know that might be a painful thing for her/them because of the loss of both chloe and nina, but I’ve just discovered her today and it’s so interesting to see her different alters throughout time. I didn’t really get to know chloe, but kind of knowing her innocence and how sweet she was it makes me sad to know that she’s gone. And Ninas spunkiness and how free spirited and protecting she was makes me sad as well. But I hope Nin is doing better!
Somehow, Nin feels very soothing to me, almost asmr effect, her eyes are very hypnotic too. There are no doubts that she is still sharing their traits, but she feels new and im here for it.. Nin, you feel like a rich-golden sun
I have to say i couldn't put my finger on it about Nin but you did! Nin seems idk very certain? Like she seems more sure about things and idk theres just something really enlightening about Nin in general. I'm not mad about this integration
I integrated less than a month ago, and watching this was so incredibly helpful, because I was so confused. I can't thank you enough for these videos. You've helped our system so much. I'm excited because of all the new memories, but I also feel completely changed and the trauma I wasn't conscious of until now scares me a lot. But I'll discover myself and learn to cope with it. - Raven (Host)
Omg this is crazy. I remember how chloe and Nina acted by themselves in that one Meet The Alters - The Girls Video. And I can like... see them both mixed together in Nin.. like Nina always had that sultry sexual look and ALWAYS. Always. Kept a strong eyecontact and Chloe was more sophisticated AND I CAN SEE THAT IN NIN wow this is .. amazing 😦
I came from anthony's video and i started watching dissocadid At first i was so confused when i watched the meet the alters video why i didnt see nin i slowly got attached to chloe now I understand who nin is better
Am I sitting in my room crying? Yes yes I am. "I didn't ask to exist like this" "I don't know who I am" "Chloe loved you" "it's still my voice it's just a little different now" really hit my emotions hard. We love you Nin.
'It's still my voice, just slightly different'. That was like Chloe coming through one last time to assure us we are in capable hands with Nin. No worries Nin, we love the system and we already love you. I wish you strength in finding out who you are. I see so much strength and power in you already!
I am waaay too late, but I've been catching up to your videos and fell in love with all of you, I'll miss Chloe but it's a beautiful representation of growth. Nina was suffering, I could see that in previous videos but Nin exists and I already love you
I wonder if anyone has ever integrated multiple times until they eventually are “one person”, does that make sense? Edit: The answer is yes, but this is not every DID person's "goal"
Bella I was showed the movie “Sybil” in grade 12 psychology and from what I remember that was actually the premise of it. It’s a true story. Older movie but worth the watch for curiosity purposes! Although if you’re triggered by talk of abuse I wouldn’t suggest it.
Bella it is possible - it’s sometimes called “final fusion” and is often the desired result in therapy (but not always) although it’s not the best option for every system to fully integrate into a singular personality because it means combining the memories of all the alters so there are no longer amnesiac barriers/walls between each alternate state.
Surely it would be so hard to deal with this if it happened, going from 20+people in 1 body to just 1 person, wouldn't it just seem so quiet and lonely?
Wow, the change is so incredibly visible, and even the colour I see around you has changed. I've got synesthesia, and it makes me "see" colours in relation to various things - I see colours related to sounds, smells, taste, words, days, and even people. Kind of hard to explain, but when it comes to people I kind of see the colours as this sort of aura around them, or if I close my eyes and think about them then my vision gets flooded by that colour instead of the usual black you "see" when your eyes are closed. Anyway. Chloe always had this very soft, pale teal around her when I was watching her videos, similar to the colour of the DissociaDID logo only paler, and the one video where I saw Nina in she had a very sharp yellow, almost orange, colour to her. You, Nin, on the other hand, have a soft golden colour to you that is very soothing. I quite like the colour. And I quite like you, or at least what we've seen of you so far. I'd say we'll miss Chloe and Nina, but in a way they're not really gone. Their essence and memories lives on in you. And I am sure you'll take this channel, and your life, and bring it to even greater heights than either of them could ever dream of. Welcome to life, Nin, we're happy you're a part of it, and we're looking forward to seeing more of you! Edit: Thank you, everyone, for all the likes and comments! You've blown me away ;w;
I always found synesthesia to be really fascinating. What color do you see from my old videos?my name is Theresa, what color is that? I really would like to know 😊
To my knowledge, Chloe looks like the system's body and nina looks very similar to it except with higher cheekbones and long platinum hair (she actually said she looked a lot like they did in university) So I imagine that they would look pretty much like they do now?
I really like Nin, she's strong and caring, I can't wait to see her grow with this channel. I also think it's great she's going by Nin and not Chloe as that allows everyone to celebrate (even grieve) both Chloe and Nina as individuals while also celebrating Nin as an individual. Nin I hope you and everyone else is doing well 💙
@@thedragonsystemcare9757 she didn't recommend the viewers to do it,yes it's part of the healing process but nin is still allowed to not want it/be scared because they were feeling comfortable in their system and suddenly a change happened
@@thedragonsystemcare9757 Imagine if you were living in a house with alot of other people, everyone was happy. But suddenly two people who lived in the house were kidnapped, and then another person moves in and they say that they are both of them. Pretty scary huh
Your eyes at certain times looked so hurt and hearing about Nina’s struggles like she had to accept who she was and that she couldn’t trust anyone I felt that I’m actually tearing up I just want to hug you.
I recognize both Chloe and Nina when Nin speaks but I also get the vibe of a different person there. And the way you all in the system explain things about DID and your firsthand experience make it so much easier and so much meaningful to receive 😊 Thank you for all your efforts in spreading awareness and proper information about DID 😊
In a previous video, Chloe (I think) said something about the original personality being like a bowl. When dropped, it shatters in a lot of pieces. So is integration kind of like if some of the pieces were glued together again? Can you all eventually then, become one personality?
@@DissociaDID New subscriber that's been binging your vids semi-chronologically after the padilla interview and although it is sad in a way that Chloe and Nina are no longer present, I'm happy for you all! It seems like a huge positive development and I wish the whole system nothing but strength and health
doug johnson absolutely. My grandmother had DID but back in the 60s when it was definitely called multiple personality disorder. My mom has memories from her childhood of my grandmothers alters, but sometime in the late 80s or early 90s before I was born my grandma integrated all of her personalities into the person that she is now and even though DID is lifelong she no long has symptoms. Hope this helps. I’ve interviewed her for lots of reasons including school projects and my own curiosity and she says that she achieved this by recognizing that each of her alters served a purpose, and then by assuring her alters that she was capable of fulfilling that purpose without their help, once they were satisfied that they were no longer needed they integrated.
Ah, so what you're saying is, ANOTHER PERSON TO LOVE? AIGHT But jokes aside, this video is very insightful on what integrations are and how it feels for you. Thank you Nin for this video ❤
Me too but Nin has answered a question on Instagram before that he is not able to make eye contact with her, I hope that the healing process is going well for him too
My heart breaks for you Nin. Such a hard way to come into yourself. So much pain and loss. Be kind to yourself and take as much time as you need. We love you all
Nin! Your stomach was growling! I hope you've been eating well since the integration!! Don't forget to take care of yourself too (mentally and physically). We know how hard this can be, and we still love you all.
Im sitting in my tub, crying as I just had an integration happen less than a week ago with two long term hosts. I NEEDED THIS CONTENT. It was so scary at first because I invalidated our diagnosis when this happened, as it was spontaneous and not really expected. Especially since it was a male alter and a female alter. We've been using they/them pronouns for about 5 years, and hearing she/her has been so euphoric. Thank you for being so vunerable in this video. I cannot express with words how perfectly timed this was for us. Its a scary feeling, for sure and I miss them in their own ways, but it feels so affirming to know you have gone through this too. Nin, words are failing me now. I have been dealing with so much self-invalidation and denial and just so much since this happend I commend your bravery, and comradery. Thank you eternally. I wish I could do more to express my gratitude.✌❤☺
I'm glad this channel is helping so many people who struggle with DID. I find it interesting to hear what people with DID go through (not in any negative way! But just as in to show support and love for each system) Sending lots of love your way❤️
Ahhhh the little text that said "I changed ny mind, please call me Nin" I'm glad I was looking at the video and not just listening :) now I can make sure I respect that
Hey Nin, I just wanted to get this off my chest. I discovered this channel around three to four hours ago and watched a lot of videos from a lot of different alters. When I watched your first video I didn't understand fully what integration meant or how it effected both Nina, Chloe (and you of course) but just hearing you talk about it and how you're both Chloe and Nina at the same time as well as your own person really hit something for me. The lines "Chloe loved you" or "it's still my voice, it's just a little different now" hit me really hard. I didn't know how DID really worked three hours ago and yet here I am, feeling connected to you. Please remember that you're your own person and we all love who you are. We all will miss Chloe and Nina deeply but we are just as happy and thankful to have got you.
I'm not crying, you're crying! The pain in her voice and on her face breaks my heart. I'm happy to meet you, but I'm sorry it happened to you like this.
😭😭😭. I'll admit. When I found out Chloe & Nina integrated I was mad. I was very angry, as a viewer I guess I was grieving a little bit. I never unsubscribed but I just stopped watching. For some reason tonight I was watching some of Team Piñatas vids & I decided to watch this one too. I'm so glad I did. I miss Chloe even though I never met her in real life but I am so glad that I watched this to remind me that she's not gone, that it was harder for her to go through this than it is for me as a viewer & a fan. ❤️ Thank you Nin for making this video & thank you for continuing to do a good job with the channel ❤️
Same.. I was just kinda upset or mad or sad or all of them and kinda cried that Chloe is gone because in the short period of time I had watched her past videos.. I became attached to her.. but it can never be undone now.. I know that Chloe is still there.. Edit: I got really sad when Nin said she didnt ask to exist.. then when she looks at the camera, I can REALLY see Chloe's eyes.. im still bawling my eyes out omg XD
12:37 i started crying cuz I could just see chloe's eyes, not nin's or nina's, but chloe's. Really made me realize that yes I'm gonna miss her, but this is better for them and I am so proud of you guys. I love you guys💕
Your sneeze is the cutest thing in this entire world! I know your nervous right now but I hope piñata and us can help you get a bit more comfortable! Feel free to express your self differently in videos! I would love to see some with some Nin flare! I hope you all will stat safe forever! 💜
I just remembered the live chat with a system talking about how their daughter dealt with it... How her daughter was sad that the system took 2 of her mommies... I can't imagine how that integrated alter would've felt but now I wonder how the Littles are taking it as they are alters themselves I hope they are taking it well
"it's still my voice, it's just a little different now" this, ,, , it gave me chills... nin, i'm so proud of you you deserve everything good this world has to offer. you're doing great sweetie. on another note: the new editing on the videos look sick!! i love you all in the dissociadid system
"It all just disappears, doesn't it? Everything you are, gone in a moment, like breath on a mirror. (...) We all change, when you think about it; we are all different people all throughout our lives, and that's okay, that's good, you've got to keep moving so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this, not one day, I swear. I will always remember when the Doctor was me." - Matt Smith
I didn't know Chloe was struggling with an eating disorder 😞😞 that's so, so hard and I'm so sorry you all had to cope with this on top of everything. Love you already Nin and I'm wishing for a happy life for you 🤗😘💕
I fell in love with Chloe and this channel. It's honestly heartbreaking that she's gone... but also the pain I see in you. I genuinely hope that you heal and I'm looking forward to getting to know you more. Sending happy thoughts your way
I don't know anyone with DID nor do I have it myself. I don't know how I was brought to your videos, but I'm so happy I was. You're all so amazing, and Nin can't be any less than amazing knowing the lovely ladies who went into creating her. You're beautiful and your message and purpose is so powerful. 💖
Nin, I feel you. When our former host integrated, before we even knew we had DID (what a way to find out!) We lost some friendships on the way. We were different and needed time adjusting. People didn't understand what was happening. It's hard on all people. But you are doing so good. And even making a video about it, opening to strangers like that. You are very strong. Thank you so much for doing this. ❤
I feel like Nin, Chloe, and Nina are/were like the aspects of the moon: Nina was the Maiden, Chloe was the Mother, and now they’re merged into the Moon (Nin).
“I know some of you felt very connected to Chloe... and it’s okay to grieve the people I was” Omg I didn’t think I was going to cry 😢 I’ve known about the integration since you spoke about it on your Instagram and I saw the livestream so I’ve technically already met you as you are now (Nin) but it just got to me and I know I’m not the only one either. Many of us loved Chloe and many of us loved Nina (even though we didn’t get to see her very much) and so many of us will miss and grieve the people who you used to be, especially as Chloe’s videos and passion to educate has helped with our own system and our personal healing. However I think that I speak for us all when I say that we will welcome you, Nin, with an open heart and hope that you continue to heal and flourish along with the rest of your system. Wishing you all the best Hannah (long term host) The Butterfly System 🦋
I'm new to the channel. So I can't say I knew Chloe enough to really mourn her...but I did learn to care for her in this past weeks. And I'm sure I will be caring about you, Nin, as well when I get to know you better. So, the best of wishes for you.
Wow, I always thought integration would be a positive step, like finally coming to terms with something and taking the weight off your shoulders. Thank-you so much for sharing what it's really like.
This is an odd comparison, but in “Avengers: Age of Ultron”, Vision was created by combining Ultron and Jarvis. I remember him describing it as “I am not Ultron, I am not Jarvis” Is this an accurate comparison?
NixGaming 29 to me, it’s the idea that two sentient characters“fused” into a completely new character, a process that was pretty much irreversible. Vision also had completely different relationships with the other characters
Props to you for taking on the incredible responsibility of the channel, and we are proud of you for adjusting as well as you can, under the circumstances.
There is an evolved confidence. But also, Nina (if I recall correctly) had these intense hypnotic speak through them eyes. You can definitely see the equivalent of biological resemblence to both of their characteristics but they are muted and blended. I also feel that Nin has guards up for us, but not for her (like Chloe seemed to have) that would prevent her from saying what she wants to. Anyway, she did ask us to not analyse her. (Yes, I know I mention this after an entire paragraph doing this... One of my System members reminded me... AFTER typing!).
I'm super excited to get to know you Nin! I can't even imagine how scary and confusing this is. I really admire your bravery in this time. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself and helping us learn so we can better support those in our community with DID.
When I found out about you, Nin, from Instagram, I was really sad. I just didn’t believe integrating with the host was possible. Chloe was the first person to ever introduce me to DID. But after this video, I think I’m ok with it. It wasn’t your fault, and I shouldn’t pretend like it was. I really like your personality, and I look forward to seeing what you have in store as the new host.
You can see chloe really clearly in NIN here when she first started talking about what chloe did on the channel. The voice moves around in tone and her energy shifts depending when she's speaking more as Nina or Chloe. So interesting to look back at, since Nin integragted with kyle
Thank you, Nin, for giving us permission to grieve. I always feel intrusive when I feel too strongly about people I don't know personally, but this channel and your system has come to be important to me. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us.
As someone who does not have DID I stumbled upon Chloe's videos and I fell in love with how she was an advocate for spreading knowledge and experiences! I can say you are truly loved! I'm still learning about DID and I just want to show support for you and for the DissociaDID system. With love from a supporter ❤️
These videos have been extremely helpful. My boyfriend has DID and these videos are really helping me to understand it better and to hopefully be able to help him through it. So thank you, so much.
"I don't know who I am." Well, let me tell you what I think of you from your past vids and tweets, ma'am. You are Nin. You are a strong, amazing, awesome, beautiful, lion-hearted, pasionate, and I'm pretty sure talented kween.
You have the sweetness of Chloe and the mannerisms of Nina. I’m so happy to meet you. You have such a calming voice and a sweet vibe to you. I can’t wait to follow this journey with you and watch you grow as a person. We love you. We accept you. Please take time away if you need. You really opened my system’s eyes to integration and that it isn’t as horrible/scary as we thought. Thank you for talking about this. Thank you for continuing this channel and educating people on DID. You are and will carrying on changing the lives of systems everywhere. Love from Texas and The Daylily System 🖤
I would love to see a video about Anna explaining her relationship with Nin and how she feels about Chloe being gone. That would be very helpful to understand how this process affects the people around the system and to help people who might have loved ones being integrated.
In the words of one of the best fusions, Garnet, “We already love you.”
This made me cry 😭💜
Awwweeee this is such a great comment💜💜💜
Omg yeeees
😭😍😭
yes
The look on her her face when she said, "I didn't want to exist like this. I didn't ask to exist" was so painful to see.
I cried a little
Nobody asked to exist
Reminds me of Amethyst breaking down.
@Pinecone Dabest Or when Rick turned himself into a pickle. He's pickle Rick. Funniest shit ive ever seen
I literally had to pause the vid and cry
the hair-
The Hair
THE HAIR
*THE HAIR*
*T H E H A I R*
I like your hair
Who doesn’t tbh Chloe and Nin always have amazing hair and makeup, no mean to diss the others but damn
Kuraedo oh true but i meant before
Same reaction.
It is so beautiful
...I think they like her hair /lh (me too btw)
Then way she is describing integration reminds me a lot of when the Doctor regenerates. Highly influenced by who they were but still a whole new person.
Beautiful comparison. I’m a Dr. Who fan also
I was thinking the same thing but couldn't put it to words
That's a good analogy
When she was talking about Chloe and Nina not being gone I instantly thought of the first episode with Twelve and Clara at the end after the phone call with Eleven where he explains that he’s still himself even though he’s different.
OMG YES
Dude... just puberty was terrifying, I can’t even imagine how weird it must feel waking up as a different person
To split off into a system, you need to be repeatedly traumatized as a child with no psychological coping mechanism. (Mine was repressing all the awful memories of my parents fighting and my dad hurting my mom. This is why I can't remember half my single digit years, but I can remember two of my childhood friends.)
Your fight or flight system would fail to kick in and keep you safe (I thrashed and kicked my legs whenever I was picked up during an autistic meltdown, and would let out a shrill shriek in self defense.)
The fragments of your personality would fail to tie together (in a singlet like me, my personality tied together and I could remember everything I did and to this day I'm always aware of every single second of my life, even when I daze off and stop responding.)
I will never know first-hand what dissociation feels like (because I've never dissociated), but I can always talk to a system about what it feels like.
Vanessa Walsh i have a question for you, if you don’t mind. Is it possible for you to engage in conversations with other alters? Just curious, I’m kinda new around here
Before i learned about this disorder i felt like a child for a very long time and then one day i just woke up and I was an adult and i LITERALLY thought that everyone did this because it's kinda the running joke in comedy right how fast it can happen? but no, apparently this is not normal and im gonna go get it checked out lmao
@@colemacgrath2005 I don't have DID so I don't know what you mean. I have talked with a few systems tho and they seem pretty chill
@@MaggnesiumSulfate wait wait wait that's not normal
Nin as a name seemed so perfect at that time and it made so much sense to me, as where i come from, nin ( νῦν ) translates to 'now' or 'current'
"I know a lot of you loved Chloe. And she loved you." "It's ok to grieve that." Oh God, I didn't think I was gonna cry.... I bawled. Love too girl!!!!
I read your comment and thought oh I'll be okay. Now I'm tearing up after watching.
Same 😭😭😭😭
Kayla Barnes i cried too! But I love them all so much
Legit started crying
I cried too! I’m happy Chloe knew she was loved by us.
this girl is a god damn superhero.
I accidentally disliked before I liked and now I feel like I sinned lol
Which one?
I thought it Simon Vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda aka Love, Simon
absolutely!
@@JohnDoe-rt2um all of them
"Garnet! You're a fusion?"
"Oh we- we didnt want you meeting us like this.."
"Well.. did i make a good impression?"
"Oh Steven, we already love you"
That's exactly how I feel about that video
I remember that episode
We already know you* actually
Drupadi Putri Kurniadi
nope, it's "Love you"
@@lixonzito2481 but it just doesn't make sense, steven said "did i make a good impression?" And then garnet says "oh steven, we already love you"?? That doesn't make sense it's supposed to say "oh steven, we already know you"
She’s a lot more calm that I expected. Chloe and Nina were so bubbly, maybe it’s just the nerves but Nin carries such a different vibe
Dele Harper still passes the vibe check
probably from the trauma nina had when she integrated.
Well this wasn’t exactly a normal video. Alters still have different emotions despite their personalities. Plus she said she felt sick
She sounds more whole though, if that makes sense. I came here from Anthony Padilla's video, and when I saw Chloe, I was confused, because I didn't remember her vibe to be so... innocent. So now knowing Nin is the result of Chloe and Nina integrating, it makes sense.
@@Rhaphidophile same. i haven't been up to date with them so when i saw her i was like "oh! it's chloe!" then she started talking and i was so confused why she seemed so much calmer.
Nin is LOTR Elvish for "water" and "you."
Your personality flows like water. Your voice is smooth and comforting. You are beautiful!
Chloe: Cute
Nina: Sexy
+ These two = Nin: B e a u t i f u l
Love yourself okay
Lol I changed this comment from 999 to 1k
In Greek Nin (νυν) means "the one who exists now"
I think it's very suiting
@@mariejeanne8116 you just blew my mind! ❤ I'm just discovering her channel so I'm trying to catch up. I can't imagine the difficulty their fans had last year when this happened, my heart goes out to you guys.
And in Japanese, nin means, "person," which I love for its simplicity.
Hi! I found your channel through the interview with Anthony Padilla and god, I just want to say, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you guys so much. I truly mean it 😭🥺❤️
Same dude
Lol facts
Same
Yep totally🤩🤩🤩😍😍😍😍😍
Same. I love their system so much. I've been watching for a few months now and also found them from Anthony's video ❤️
Wow, I can really tell that Nin is not Chloe. By which I mean, just hearing Nin speak about things we have heard Chloe talk about for so long, it is so clear that Nin is not Chloe. Nin is a new person born into this world with her own mannerisms and way of expressing herself. Wow.
I've noticed that as well when I watched one of the most recent videos after being away for a while, the reason I began looking back at these videos to know who this new person is, you can definitely notice the difference yet the odd similarity like you met her before--and well... We did
For those who cannot see the screen, at 4:36 she puts up a note that says "I changed my mind, please call me "Nin" " :)
It’s almost Nin’s one year anniversary! I know that might be a painful thing for her/them because of the loss of both chloe and nina, but I’ve just discovered her today and it’s so interesting to see her different alters throughout time. I didn’t really get to know chloe, but kind of knowing her innocence and how sweet she was it makes me sad to know that she’s gone. And Ninas spunkiness and how free spirited and protecting she was makes me sad as well. But I hope Nin is doing better!
Somehow, Nin feels very soothing to me, almost asmr effect, her eyes are very hypnotic too. There are no doubts that she is still sharing their traits, but she feels new and im here for it.. Nin, you feel like a rich-golden sun
Exactly!!!!
I have to say i couldn't put my finger on it about Nin but you did! Nin seems idk very certain? Like she seems more sure about things and idk theres just something really enlightening about Nin in general. I'm not mad about this integration
In 12:37 I clearly saw Chloe's eyes and that scared me a little, that made me realize how different alters are in little things
Great observation!
Whoa I saw it too
I noticed her voice at 12:30 when Nin said "I still love you"
The wide kind loving eyes
I wanta cry rn But no not good rn
I integrated less than a month ago, and watching this was so incredibly helpful, because I was so confused. I can't thank you enough for these videos. You've helped our system so much. I'm excited because of all the new memories, but I also feel completely changed and the trauma I wasn't conscious of until now scares me a lot. But I'll discover myself and learn to cope with it.
- Raven (Host)
hope you better now
Dang I could tell exactly who Nin used to be the second she started talking by her voice and body language. Wow
The Color June wait who was she?
@@litrallybonkerzluv1788 Nina and Chloe
kanchi22 ohh thanks man
Nin speaks so much with her eyes 😍
YES! I knew something was extra different, but I couldn't put my finger on it!
Yea she uses emotion when she blinks
Yes, was thinking the same thing, along with the slight head tilt. You can see how Nin is her own person
Omg this is crazy. I remember how chloe and Nina acted by themselves in that one Meet The Alters - The Girls Video. And I can like... see them both mixed together in Nin.. like Nina always had that sultry sexual look and ALWAYS. Always. Kept a strong eyecontact and Chloe was more sophisticated AND I CAN SEE THAT IN NIN wow this is .. amazing 😦
I've been away for a while so I'm only just watching this video now. I can't help but feel grief in the "loss" of Chloe.
I feel the same. But I am still looking forward to getting to know Nin Xx
Same.
Same
yeahh
Same I was gone for a whole and came back just now I have to catch up on all the videos but I’m greatly missing Chloe right now
Just watched the Anthony padilla interview and use all did amazing, so happy he used his platform as you do to spread awareness xxxxx
And then came the Trisha paytas drama
And then came the Trisha paytas drama
@@teresa-.-656 yes I know trisha is truly disgusting and so disrespectful and shameful
I came from anthony's video and i started watching dissocadid
At first i was so confused when i watched the meet the alters video why i didnt see nin
i slowly got attached to chloe now I understand who nin is better
This way i heard about did and i want to learn more about it
Am I sitting in my room crying? Yes yes I am. "I didn't ask to exist like this" "I don't know who I am" "Chloe loved you" "it's still my voice it's just a little different now" really hit my emotions hard. We love you Nin.
'It's still my voice, just slightly different'. That was like Chloe coming through one last time to assure us we are in capable hands with Nin. No worries Nin, we love the system and we already love you. I wish you strength in finding out who you are. I see so much strength and power in you already!
There's something about nin, I really feel connected to her.
I think it’s maybe because we knew Chloe so well. I don’t know but I also feel it too
@@erinh2835 I never felt this connected to Chloe. I don't know how to explain it, I can't articulate it.
Same. I really loved Chloe, but with Nin it feels different. Closer and warmer in a way.
@@Juxsu she feels like a friend
i think it's because nin shares more personal stuff, i feel like chloe was too afraid of that and wanted to keep the channel mostly scientific
I am waaay too late, but I've been catching up to your videos and fell in love with all of you, I'll miss Chloe but it's a beautiful representation of growth. Nina was suffering, I could see that in previous videos but Nin exists and I already love you
Nin's energy is amazing. She feels very fresh and kind and new. Its lovely to meet you Nin xxx
That is probably the cutest sneeze I've ever heard.
It scared me so much haha
That's lovely - Ash
this has not aged well
It is! >w
@@undergrrownd why
I wonder if anyone has ever integrated multiple times until they eventually are “one person”, does that make sense?
Edit: The answer is yes, but this is not every DID person's "goal"
Bella I was showed the movie “Sybil” in grade 12 psychology and from what I remember that was actually the premise of it. It’s a true story. Older movie but worth the watch for curiosity purposes! Although if you’re triggered by talk of abuse I wouldn’t suggest it.
Watch the video with Nadia and her girlfriend and read the comments! There are a few really good people talking about it!
DisociaDID replied to a similar comment and they said it is possible to eventually intergrade back in one person.
Bella it is possible - it’s sometimes called “final fusion” and is often the desired result in therapy (but not always) although it’s not the best option for every system to fully integrate into a singular personality because it means combining the memories of all the alters so there are no longer amnesiac barriers/walls between each alternate state.
Surely it would be so hard to deal with this if it happened, going from 20+people in 1 body to just 1 person, wouldn't it just seem so quiet and lonely?
When you said 'Chloe loved you' I actually started crying. I hope you're able to get through life easier as you are now, Nin. Lots of love from me 💜💜
Parker McElvie I did too! When she said that I lost it.
I did too. I started tearing up
Parker McElvie me too
same
Parker McElvie me to 💔
Wow, the change is so incredibly visible, and even the colour I see around you has changed. I've got synesthesia, and it makes me "see" colours in relation to various things - I see colours related to sounds, smells, taste, words, days, and even people. Kind of hard to explain, but when it comes to people I kind of see the colours as this sort of aura around them, or if I close my eyes and think about them then my vision gets flooded by that colour instead of the usual black you "see" when your eyes are closed.
Anyway. Chloe always had this very soft, pale teal around her when I was watching her videos, similar to the colour of the DissociaDID logo only paler, and the one video where I saw Nina in she had a very sharp yellow, almost orange, colour to her. You, Nin, on the other hand, have a soft golden colour to you that is very soothing. I quite like the colour. And I quite like you, or at least what we've seen of you so far. I'd say we'll miss Chloe and Nina, but in a way they're not really gone. Their essence and memories lives on in you. And I am sure you'll take this channel, and your life, and bring it to even greater heights than either of them could ever dream of. Welcome to life, Nin, we're happy you're a part of it, and we're looking forward to seeing more of you!
Edit: Thank you, everyone, for all the likes and comments! You've blown me away ;w;
That's so interesting and awesome to read. Thank you for sharing your gift 😍✨
It's funny. Her hair is similar to both of the colors you described.
I always found synesthesia to be really fascinating. What color do you see from my old videos?my name is Theresa, what color is that? I really would like to know 😊
That's so beautifully said ❤
@@sarahborowik-frank4990 Never thought of it as a gift before, but that's certainly a nice thought, thank you ^^
When you as Nin are in the inner world, do you look like a whole new Alter, or do you look like a mix of Chloe and Nina?
Sabine Smithwick woahh a real good question.
I know I'm verrrrry late to this but, 13:23
@@BuzzardUK Thanks
@@eliasmagus5086 No dramas :)
To my knowledge, Chloe looks like the system's body and nina looks very similar to it except with higher cheekbones and long platinum hair (she actually said she looked a lot like they did in university)
So I imagine that they would look pretty much like they do now?
I really like Nin, she's strong and caring, I can't wait to see her grow with this channel. I also think it's great she's going by Nin and not Chloe as that allows everyone to celebrate (even grieve) both Chloe and Nina as individuals while also celebrating Nin as an individual.
Nin I hope you and everyone else is doing well 💙
❤
I miss Chloe but still love Nin! She’s just a more confident version of Chloe and a more casual Nina!
Well, yeah, but no.. not just. She's also Nin
No...she’s Nin.
The Dragon System care okay sure
@@thedragonsystemcare9757 she didn't recommend the viewers to do it,yes it's part of the healing process but nin is still allowed to not want it/be scared because they were feeling comfortable in their system and suddenly a change happened
@@thedragonsystemcare9757 Imagine if you were living in a house with alot of other people, everyone was happy. But suddenly two people who lived in the house were kidnapped, and then another person moves in and they say that they are both of them. Pretty scary huh
Your eyes at certain times looked so hurt and hearing about Nina’s struggles like she had to accept who she was and that she couldn’t trust anyone I felt that I’m actually tearing up I just want to hug you.
"I'm still them, but I'm also me." is a great way to put it
Definitely harkens to the Steven Universe fusion feels.
You and your partner systems relationship surviving through integrations on both sides is honestly inspiring
I recognize both Chloe and Nina when Nin speaks but I also get the vibe of a different person there. And the way you all in the system explain things about DID and your firsthand experience make it so much easier and so much meaningful to receive 😊
Thank you for all your efforts in spreading awareness and proper information about DID 😊
10:09 That was the cutest jumpscare I ever experienced lmao
Dillon Maynard Lmao sameee
And that smile afterwards, my frozen heart melted. Protect Nin at all costs
@@veronikarovenska4671
YEEEES!!!
In a previous video, Chloe (I think) said something about the original personality being like a bowl. When dropped, it shatters in a lot of pieces. So is integration kind of like if some of the pieces were glued together again? Can you all eventually then, become one personality?
Yes and yes!
@@DissociaDID New subscriber that's been binging your vids semi-chronologically after the padilla interview and although it is sad in a way that Chloe and Nina are no longer present, I'm happy for you all! It seems like a huge positive development and I wish the whole system nothing but strength and health
DissociaDID sorry if i sound rude or anything i’m very very new, do you think you’ll ever become one personality?
@@DissociaDID yeah I really don't want to sound rude but I'd also like to know if one personality can be Achieved over time.
doug johnson absolutely. My grandmother had DID but back in the 60s when it was definitely called multiple personality disorder. My mom has memories from her childhood of my grandmothers alters, but sometime in the late 80s or early 90s before I was born my grandma integrated all of her personalities into the person that she is now and even though DID is lifelong she no long has symptoms. Hope this helps. I’ve interviewed her for lots of reasons including school projects and my own curiosity and she says that she achieved this by recognizing that each of her alters served a purpose, and then by assuring her alters that she was capable of fulfilling that purpose without their help, once they were satisfied that they were no longer needed they integrated.
in case anyone wants to have a heart attack from how friggin precious the sneeze is
10:09
Ah, so what you're saying is, ANOTHER PERSON TO LOVE? AIGHT
But jokes aside, this video is very insightful on what integrations are and how it feels for you. Thank you Nin for this video ❤
I really want Kyle to do a video on how he’s dealing with the integration. Welcome Nin, by the way ❤️
Emersyn Love same! I’d love for Kyle to film whenever he’s ready.
Me too but Nin has answered a question on Instagram before that he is not able to make eye contact with her, I hope that the healing process is going well for him too
Although Chloe and Nina are “gone”, can we all show some mad real love for Nin 💜
"It's still my voice, it is just a little different now." 12:35 I love this quote. I'd love it on merch.
Look at the eyes when she said it they were Chloe's she was in every word of it
My heart breaks for you Nin. Such a hard way to come into yourself. So much pain and loss. Be kind to yourself and take as much time as you need.
We love you all
12:37 that sounded like Chloe’s last words as being Chloe and non Nin.
Nin! Your stomach was growling! I hope you've been eating well since the integration!! Don't forget to take care of yourself too (mentally and physically). We know how hard this can be, and we still love you all.
You could hear It? :O
I hope she stays happy and healthy
I think it was actually the lens changing on the camera
That wasn’t her stomach lmao😂
I thought that was me x”D
Im sitting in my tub, crying as I just had an integration happen less than a week ago with two long term hosts. I NEEDED THIS CONTENT. It was so scary at first because I invalidated our diagnosis when this happened, as it was spontaneous and not really expected. Especially since it was a male alter and a female alter. We've been using they/them pronouns for about 5 years, and hearing she/her has been so euphoric.
Thank you for being so vunerable in this video. I cannot express with words how perfectly timed this was for us.
Its a scary feeling, for sure and I miss them in their own ways, but it feels so affirming to know you have gone through this too. Nin, words are failing me now. I have been dealing with so much self-invalidation and denial and just so much since this happend I commend your bravery, and comradery.
Thank you eternally. I wish I could do more to express my gratitude.✌❤☺
I hope you guys are okay :)
I hope you're ok 🤗 do you mind me asking what it was like? Did you feel like you were switching or did you go to sleep and wake up as someone new?
geek it seems like this tis a common thing? first ive heard of it... much love n hugs for success in your new alter and ur others
I'm glad this channel is helping so many people who struggle with DID. I find it interesting to hear what people with DID go through (not in any negative way! But just as in to show support and love for each system) Sending lots of love your way❤️
Nin: I've still got plans
Kya: I have a plan -- I have, an *idea* --
Mike:
Ahhhh the little text that said "I changed ny mind, please call me Nin" I'm glad I was looking at the video and not just listening :) now I can make sure I respect that
@Im Jia it's about 4:35
Hey Nin, I just wanted to get this off my chest.
I discovered this channel around three to four hours ago and watched a lot of videos from a lot of different alters. When I watched your first video I didn't understand fully what integration meant or how it effected both Nina, Chloe (and you of course) but just hearing you talk about it and how you're both Chloe and Nina at the same time as well as your own person really hit something for me. The lines "Chloe loved you" or "it's still my voice, it's just a little different now" hit me really hard. I didn't know how DID really worked three hours ago and yet here I am, feeling connected to you.
Please remember that you're your own person and we all love who you are. We all will miss Chloe and Nina deeply but we are just as happy and thankful to have got you.
@Theresa Bui (705TheBui) same
Same
Y'ALL WHAT THE HECK? I didn't know so many people are having the same experience as me?? 1000?? Crazy!!
I'm not crying, you're crying!
The pain in her voice and on her face breaks my heart. I'm happy to meet you, but I'm sorry it happened to you like this.
😭😭😭. I'll admit. When I found out Chloe & Nina integrated I was mad. I was very angry, as a viewer I guess I was grieving a little bit. I never unsubscribed but I just stopped watching. For some reason tonight I was watching some of Team Piñatas vids & I decided to watch this one too. I'm so glad I did. I miss Chloe even though I never met her in real life but I am so glad that I watched this to remind me that she's not gone, that it was harder for her to go through this than it is for me as a viewer & a fan. ❤️ Thank you Nin for making this video & thank you for continuing to do a good job with the channel ❤️
Same.. I was just kinda upset or mad or sad or all of them and kinda cried that Chloe is gone because in the short period of time I had watched her past videos.. I became attached to her.. but it can never be undone now.. I know that Chloe is still there..
Edit: I got really sad when Nin said she didnt ask to exist.. then when she looks at the camera, I can REALLY see Chloe's eyes.. im still bawling my eyes out omg XD
God bless
I just actually also knew or realized that Chloe has like ascended. It also kinda aches.
12:37 i started crying cuz I could just see chloe's eyes, not nin's or nina's, but chloe's. Really made me realize that yes I'm gonna miss her, but this is better for them and I am so proud of you guys.
I love you guys💕
Ok, someone else said something similar about that at that time. I'm seeing a pattern...
@@thisisauniquename And does it matter if you see a pattern? No. This is a comment section, people can have similar ideas.
Im really gonna miss Chloe omg.... I dont mean to be rude... im just... sad.. idk xD
is almost like groot when he dies to protect the others, but he is reborn as himself but different. stay strong. all of you
Your sneeze is the cutest thing in this entire world! I know your nervous right now but I hope piñata and us can help you get a bit more comfortable! Feel free to express your self differently in videos! I would love to see some with some Nin flare! I hope you all will stat safe forever! 💜
Ikr! That sneeze was so cute I laughed lol
I replayed it 7 times, just cause it's so cute and funny! Sending you love and strength 💕
She sneezes just like my 5th grade teacher it was so cute
I legit said "That's the cutest sneeze!" right as the sneeze happened.
That "Bless me" after the sneeze was the end of me.
after she sneezed, chloe's vocal traits slipped through more and i was so sad. but Nin seems happier now after intergrating
also that was the weirdest/cutest sneeze ever
I just remembered the live chat with a system talking about how their daughter dealt with it... How her daughter was sad that the system took 2 of her mommies... I can't imagine how that integrated alter would've felt but now I wonder how the Littles are taking it as they are alters themselves
I hope they are taking it well
"it's still my voice, it's just a little different now" this, ,, , it gave me chills... nin, i'm so proud of you you deserve everything good this world has to offer. you're doing great sweetie. on another note: the new editing on the videos look sick!! i love you all in the dissociadid system
the way i’m crying?? you’re so valid nin, we already love you
"It all just disappears, doesn't it? Everything you are, gone in a moment, like breath on a mirror. (...)
We all change, when you think about it; we are all different people all throughout our lives, and that's okay, that's good, you've got to keep moving so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this, not one day, I swear. I will always remember when the Doctor was me." - Matt Smith
I didn't know Chloe was struggling with an eating disorder 😞😞 that's so, so hard and I'm so sorry you all had to cope with this on top of everything. Love you already Nin and I'm wishing for a happy life for you 🤗😘💕
I fell in love with Chloe and this channel. It's honestly heartbreaking that she's gone... but also the pain I see in you. I genuinely hope that you heal and I'm looking forward to getting to know you more. Sending happy thoughts your way
Her eye makeup is mesmerisingly gorgeous. I can’t stop staring.
I don't know anyone with DID nor do I have it myself. I don't know how I was brought to your videos, but I'm so happy I was. You're all so amazing, and Nin can't be any less than amazing knowing the lovely ladies who went into creating her. You're beautiful and your message and purpose is so powerful. 💖
Nin, I feel you. When our former host integrated, before we even knew we had DID (what a way to find out!) We lost some friendships on the way. We were different and needed time adjusting. People didn't understand what was happening. It's hard on all people. But you are doing so good. And even making a video about it, opening to strangers like that. You are very strong. Thank you so much for doing this. ❤
woah really reminded me of chloe’s eyes right there 12:37
I know
Because that IS chloe
Hi Nin! We love you and can't wait to get to know you! Also, your makeup looks beautiful today.
The lashes? The shimmer eyeshadow? Stunning
@@AK-yc9xz Yess!!
Loving the eye makeup. Have you ever thought about doing a tutorial?
I feel like Nin, Chloe, and Nina are/were like the aspects of the moon: Nina was the Maiden, Chloe was the Mother, and now they’re merged into the Moon (Nin).
Evelyn Sader that... was too poetic for my heart ❤️ ❤️
maiden, mother, and crone*
Sounds like the Avatar the last Airbender
@@thewheekshow5537 Oh, interesting. I've never seen it referred to that way. Do you know which traditions?
It almost feels like I’ve lost a friend, but I’m so happy to meet Nin! I hope our new adventures are just as awesome as when Chloe was the host!
When you said you still love us, that hit me so hard. I love you all, and I will always be rooting for you.
“I know some of you felt very connected to Chloe... and it’s okay to grieve the people I was”
Omg I didn’t think I was going to cry 😢 I’ve known about the integration since you spoke about it on your Instagram and I saw the livestream so I’ve technically already met you as you are now (Nin) but it just got to me and I know I’m not the only one either.
Many of us loved Chloe and many of us loved Nina (even though we didn’t get to see her very much) and so many of us will miss and grieve the people who you used to be, especially as Chloe’s videos and passion to educate has helped with our own system and our personal healing. However I think that I speak for us all when I say that we will welcome you, Nin, with an open heart and hope that you continue to heal and flourish along with the rest of your system.
Wishing you all the best
Hannah (long term host)
The Butterfly System 🦋
Oh my lord when she sneezed my heart melted...
On a more serious note, this sounds like an extremely difficult process, you are all so strong.
creep!
I'm new to the channel. So I can't say I knew Chloe enough to really mourn her...but I did learn to care for her in this past weeks.
And I'm sure I will be caring about you, Nin, as well when I get to know you better.
So, the best of wishes for you.
Wow, I always thought integration would be a positive step, like finally coming to terms with something and taking the weight off your shoulders. Thank-you so much for sharing what it's really like.
This is an odd comparison, but in “Avengers: Age of Ultron”, Vision was created by combining Ultron and Jarvis. I remember him describing it as “I am not Ultron, I am not Jarvis”
Is this an accurate comparison?
Well, we can say that since it's kinda similar to Nin's integration (please correct me if I'm wrong).
NixGaming 29 to me, it’s the idea that two sentient characters“fused” into a completely new character, a process that was pretty much irreversible. Vision also had completely different relationships with the other characters
@@lordoftheducks332 that is actually a nice comparison
@@nocturnenix I'd say no. She *is* Chloe and she *is* Nina too. But she is also herself. She's a new person but she's still Chloe and Nina.
It wasn't exactly Ultron but yeah sounds similar.
This was one of the most honest and heartfelt videos I've ever seen on TH-cam.
you have the same calm way of explaining things. i always loved that about chloe
Me: *Sends virtual hug through the screen*
Props to you for taking on the incredible responsibility of the channel, and we are proud of you for adjusting as well as you can, under the circumstances.
nin looks so much different than chloe but i can’t figure out why
She speaks with her eyes. She blinks with emotion kinda.
She has a glow to her
I think she looks more relaxed and at peace.
There is an evolved confidence. But also, Nina (if I recall correctly) had these intense hypnotic speak through them eyes. You can definitely see the equivalent of biological resemblence to both of their characteristics but they are muted and blended. I also feel that Nin has guards up for us, but not for her (like Chloe seemed to have) that would prevent her from saying what she wants to. Anyway, she did ask us to not analyse her. (Yes, I know I mention this after an entire paragraph doing this... One of my System members reminded me... AFTER typing!).
It's the eyes. It's really all in her eyes and it's crazily beautiful
“You may not be strong enough, but maybe we are”
I love this quote from OUAT, I feel like maybe some people here would like a reminder of it
I'm super excited to get to know you Nin! I can't even imagine how scary and confusing this is. I really admire your bravery in this time. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself and helping us learn so we can better support those in our community with DID.
When I found out about you, Nin, from Instagram, I was really sad. I just didn’t believe integrating with the host was possible. Chloe was the first person to ever introduce me to DID. But after this video, I think I’m ok with it. It wasn’t your fault, and I shouldn’t pretend like it was. I really like your personality, and I look forward to seeing what you have in store as the new host.
You can see chloe really clearly in NIN here when she first started talking about what chloe did on the channel. The voice moves around in tone and her energy shifts depending when she's speaking more as Nina or Chloe. So interesting to look back at, since Nin integragted with kyle
"Ahc- huuue. Bless me."
Ah. My heart explode. 💓
Thank you, Nin, for giving us permission to grieve. I always feel intrusive when I feel too strongly about people I don't know personally, but this channel and your system has come to be important to me. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us.
10:10 THAT'S THE MOST ADORABLE SNEEZE I EVER HEARD 😭
15:40
"Lots of love everybody. Bye!"
Oh my god i need hug 😭
ASZ - The MoonWalker
*virtual hugs*
@@Sakina.Y
Thaaaank you! ;~;
The growth I've seen since the first video has been amazing.
As someone who does not have DID I stumbled upon Chloe's videos and I fell in love with how she was an advocate for spreading knowledge and experiences! I can say you are truly loved! I'm still learning about DID and I just want to show support for you and for the DissociaDID system. With love from a supporter ❤️
12:36 you could see Chloes eyes....
These videos have been extremely helpful. My boyfriend has DID and these videos are really helping me to understand it better and to hopefully be able to help him through it. So thank you, so much.
"I don't know who I am."
Well, let me tell you what I think of you from your past vids and tweets, ma'am. You are Nin. You are a strong, amazing, awesome, beautiful, lion-hearted, pasionate, and I'm pretty sure talented kween.
You have the sweetness of Chloe and the mannerisms of Nina. I’m so happy to meet you. You have such a calming voice and a sweet vibe to you. I can’t wait to follow this journey with you and watch you grow as a person. We love you. We accept you. Please take time away if you need. You really opened my system’s eyes to integration and that it isn’t as horrible/scary as we thought. Thank you for talking about this. Thank you for continuing this channel and educating people on DID. You are and will carrying on changing the lives of systems everywhere.
Love from Texas and The Daylily System 🖤
I would love to see a video about Anna explaining her relationship with Nin and how she feels about Chloe being gone. That would be very helpful to understand how this process affects the people around the system and to help people who might have loved ones being integrated.
When she says she lost everything, makes me feel that with her together
It crazy how different Nin is from Chloe. You can already tell on how different she talks. Super excited to learn more about her ❤️