Rob's Experience Supporting Lauren Through Hospitalization
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 พ.ย. 2019
- In this video, Rob describes the experience of supporting Lauren, who has a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder, through her recent hospitalization. He talks about what led up to it, what it was like, and then how it all affected him as a support person for someone living with schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder.
Check out the video on Lauren's perspective of the hospitalization here: • My Experience with My ...
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I supported my husband with schizophrenia during his hospitalization while I was pregnant with our twins, and we made it and he is awesome dad!
Wow! That's a lot to have on you're plate ❤️ Congrats in your twins!
Lauren Goodwin thanks ☺️
Wow that's amazing. How did it affect your mental health x
Harriet A well actually quite a lot but husband and babies are more important so I was holding together for them and I am still doing so.
I’m really happy for you and your family. I wonder what the statistics are around maintaining a good life balance while living with this disease. My husband was either really into self care or really NOT into self care - it was a crap shoot. Sadly, he lost his battle on his own terms. I lost him, my home, our 18 yr old and 21 yr old sons developed heroin addictions to numb the pain, and my 15 yr old son didn’t turn to drugs, but went into full blown seclusion. I had to retire early due to so much mass confusion. Psychiatrists and family/individual therapists were involved at the onset & throughout, but they can’t wave a magic wand and make it all better. So, for every horror story like mine, there is a happy ending like yours. Thanks for sharing your story and proving that this particular disease can be properly managed 💪
THIS is what love looks like.
Yep! It's most definitely true love.
This is what a soon to be burned out life looks like.
Yes it is. This is what for richer or poorer, in sickness or health and til death due us part really means. It is rarer in today’s world
@@mjm8949 yes I agree!!!
Yes, it is. It also includes Lauren's love and commitment to herself. Without that piece, Rob couldn't make this work no matter how selfless and loving he is.
"I did not feel like I did support her enough", man, you are amazing. Please, it means so much if a person is just there.
I agree ☝️ completely but I know my husband has always had trouble with that also.
Her illness took over he is remarkable just be u and when u have a person with schizo u learn to be patient be with her take it one day at a time and support her in therapy and if she gets committed be with her she needs love and support
Make her take her meds she has issues big time and u get therapy to deal with u
@@cynthiadavid5282😊pppp😊
@@cynthiadavid5282 You CANNOT make someone take any medication.
Rob: 'This hospital was really old, i think it opened like 50 years ago'
Me: *laughs in England*
Laughs in Ex-Warsaw pact Bulgarian hospital
Canadian hospital's are a weird mix of ikea quality coated with asbestos.
@@merryjane7558 HAH so accurate.
Laughs in Portugal
Rob's an actor. Really an actor and paid for this. @@carolinarios2994
I love the bit about "she runs ultra marathons... But I got a bike!" I appreciate the lighthearted tone when possible for such a hard and traumatizing subject.
@roki feler what??
Ikr 😂
Amazing young man; to support, understand & love her so much. It takes a lot of energy to support a loved one with schitzo affective disorder. Especially if she isn't on meds.
also made me laugh out loud
Yes. Liked that too. And keeping an eye on her safety with minimum interference on her freedom is great. Only lessons I see here for Rob are writing a preferred treatment plan, having a hospital bag ready, and agreeing a weekly meds audit. NOT with any pressure or demand to TAKE meds (which is up to Lauren), but so you're both on same page about whether she IS taking them or any fears she's having about taking them or changes she wants to try.
With your children, you'll be supporting them to take risks and challenges as they grow up, with freedom but with mutual respect as to what's fair between people. It's kind of similar.
“This wasn’t her, this was her illness.” This is a man who listens and understands the difference between a fight and an emergency.
I hope the male officer and psych nurses learn from the experience 😞 Blackmailing Lauren into taking meds in exchange for loving support is unconscionable...it’s evil. I’m relieved that you witnessed it firsthand and were an assertive and attentive advocate for her.
dude they are conducting human study and also trying to make people lose it so they can profit from people for room and board and prescription meds cost... while also trying to push you into signing up for obamacare ahah they ARE freaking evil (most if not all) .. they are political affiliated for sure and nothing other than sickening business that prey on the weak and mental susceptible. They are actually EXACTLY like drug dealers.They try to get you when you are their weakest to profit off you for life,, all they while the drugs make you even worse so you come back for "more help"... I am telling you, this world is not what you think it is. It is all about money and we know who controls the money -- people get wicked and do wickedness for it.
Vital Chance This couple lives in Canada. There’s no Obamacare here.
@@barbm2375 Ok, refract THAT part per this case scenario, but the other points still stick.
Vital Chance ☺️ That’s fair. We all have opinions and I respect yours.
@@barbm2375 Well, that's good, I like to think of myself as a highly respectable guy; I have put in a lot of research and energy to knowing what I know. Do us all a favour, and tell a friend.
I’m an EMT and this is really helpful insight. I’m passionate about mental health and hope to be a positive presence for patients. Thanks for posting this, I’m sure it was really hard.
God bless you nerovar
Thank you for being a positive presence. I had a friend who needed an ambulance and they literally smirked and laughed at her. They had no idea about the hellish abuse that had led to her having a problem.
They literally mocked her in front of her. That made it soooo much worse.
EMT treats psych patients like criminals, for the most part, but kindness would be more appropriate for sick people.
Supporting a loved one is incredibly difficult. There's not a lot of support for YOU. A lot of people give up, so there needs to be more resources for caregivers. Most people in this situation desperately want to help, but don't know what to do (or do the absolutely wrong things out of ignorance). Thanks for discussing this Rob.
As a nursing student, I hope I always remember this video and remember to have compassion.
A nurse shouldn't have to remember to have compassion, sounds like you chose the wrong profession
I am sure you will be a wonderful nurse. Nurses are people just like everyone else who get frustrated, angry, sad and burnt-out. It is common to become numb because we see so many awful things and meet people at their most frightened/desperate/scared. It is important to reflect on how you are managing, develop coping skills and take action if you notice yourself changing at work. Good luck!
JoanneLG1960 well-meaning action can easily come across as offensive, despite coming from a good place. This is what they’re talking about.
JoanneLG1960 You’re taking what she said way too literally.
JoanneLG1960 It sounds like they chose the right profession if they’re actually going to attempt to remember to have compassion, despite some nurses who don’t even attempt to be compassionate. Quit being so hard on others and appreciate those that at least try, because a lot of people don’t
I'd be interested in seeing Rob and Lauren interview a psych nurse to discuss their experience and hear the hospital perspective on why certain things happen the way they do, justified or not.
Wow! That would be really interesting & hopefully helpful for all parties involved.
100%! As a nurse (not psych), I agree that their behaviour is inexcusable. On the other hand, what patients need to know is how responsible nurses are for their patients - if they had let her leave the room (and didn't forcibly put her back in) and she had hurt herself or others, it's the nurse's fault. It's important to realize that the nurses may have taken a more liberal approach before which backfired - someone may have gotten hurt and they got sued. So they learned from then on, they can't trust patients who are in a mental health crisis to make sound decisions. These generalizations are toxic for sure, but it's important to consider both sides to each story. Also, as the health care provider, it is our responsibility to know when we should leave a job. It's on us to be self reflective and know when we start to feel the burnout and cynicism building, it's our responsibility to change roles in some way to prioritize quality patient care.
Erin A Im a psych nurse- I’d do it 🙂
@@allanahjune cameras on the units are the best way to improve care. Treatment is not as 'barbaric' as you are describing. There are good and bad people everywhere. Until you work with psychotic breaks, drug overdoses (esp drunks) there are times when strong measures are necessary for the safety of all.
@@medicalcivillibertiesproje3760 you mean this couple? They seem legit, but I also suspect she has a comorbid personality disorder as well
He loves her so much. hearing about him chasing her. He never gives up 😭🥰
She’s lucky to have someone so supportive in her life💖
Schizophrenics need love too. Thanks to all of you who support those of us with these illnesses.
Crimson Tomato I’m really glad this channel exists-it has provided sooo much information I didn’t have prior, and I hope that it helps myself and others provide support when we need to!
As a schizoaffective, the last thing I would want is to put my illness in the lap of a partner.
@@informitas0117 my love is bipolar. I wouldn't trade her for the world and she wouldn't trade me. We're both on meds and have both been hospitalized, that does not keep us from loving each other. You're not a burden, just a person. Love yourself and be loved by other's. That's what my take is. 😁 Thank you for your response. It means a lot to me.
@@crimsontomato8033 just to be clear I don't deny others with issues to have partners, everyone is different. I just don't to have that responsibility when I sometimes can't control how I behave. Or that I kill myself. I can't do that to someone.
Mant mentally ill folks have no personal support. At all. Its hard because the mentally ill have the burden of the. Illness plus the everyday pressures we all share. Thank. Gid this lady hjas a person that understands and is supportive with love and compassion. Good luck to both of you.
Thank you so much for doing this Rob. My 18 year old daughter has recently been diagnosed with schizophrenia and it is so helpful as I am trying to learn how to help.
My daughter did this too. Came off her meds without telling me and was re-sectioned after 10 days.
Rob this was amazing. You are just as articulate as Lauren and it was helpful hearing from a partner/carers point of view.
@roki feler Why injections?
To take even more control away from her?
@roki feler "nobody is hospitalized unless he is danger to either himself or to others."
That's just a blatant lie.
Involuntary medication even to "save him or others" isn't legal unless it's court ordered or an emergency situation, and monthly injections aren't used for emergencies.
It isn't up to you to decide what's best for others.
@roki feler The police aren't meant to just arrest people because they were called, in absence of probable cause. Going off your medication is not a crime or probable cause for an arrest. It isn't a valid reason to hospitalize someone either, unless that person can be proven by clear and convincing evidence to be an imminent threat to self or others.
Someone going thru a mental health crisis is not at all comparable to a dead gangster committing a mass shooting.
@roki feler Whether the patient is a "danger" or not, they'll still be restrained and dragged away to the hospital.
If the patient exercises their human right not to take medication, and the nurses force it on them, those nurses should be tracked down to their homes, abducted, lined up against a wall, and shot for crimes against humanity.
I understand that seclusion is barbaric,. dehumanizing, and inhumane. I understand that even those most successful by traditional standards are still subject to this torture.
To begin with, you said they *should* have given her (an adult with schizophrenia who stopped her medication) an injection "the very first time." Why did you say that?
Thanks Rob for this it helped me understand the mindset you have to have as a carer and the extent of your partner's illness
I'm a 20 year old woman with a Bipolar 1 and schizoaffective disorder diagnosis. Watching this is really hard because while I've been stable for 3 and a half years now, my parents had to go through this for four months while I got through a manic episode. I wish the best for your family, watching your channel has given me so much hope. I know not to ever stop taking my meds, because honestly I believe I would act just like Lauren in this scenario. My biggest fear is going back to the hospital. In terms of my career, I want to help others with severe thought and mood disorders but I know I would probably have a panic attack stepping into a psych ward again, so I've opted to become a biostatistician. I track my sleep and food meticulously and I know I need to exercise more. I'm very scared of having children because I never want to be in a scenario where my meds fail and I end up being neglectful or abusive in any way to them. But watching Lauren have a family, a loving family with a supportive husband and also having children gives me so much hope.
I highly urge U Tube not to demonize this channel or any channel that discusses mental illness. We the public need to hear these compelling stories of what people with mental illness and schizophrenia go through. Knowledge is power and these videos are good enough for a Netflex series. Thank you both for being so open and honest. It's crazy how other u tubers who simply put on makeup or show pictures of their cute puppies will get paid by u tube and or commercials, but these people get victimized because they talk about their real suffering and mental illness. I hope this changes.
I got on my knees when I found your videos. I’m struggling so much with my loved one because I’m the trigger. As a mother I’m desperate to find some peace for them but at the same time I’m not allowed to be the natural caregiver that I am. It hurts so deeply. I’ve had to give up my job because my nerves are on guard and I’m constantly worried. How can you watch out for an adult with psychosis when they won’t let you in. I know that I’m a great mom but they see me as the enemy every time we’re together. I can’t even look in their direction without feeling I’m going to cause a problem. Thank you for having the courage to share such a painful, difficult journey. This channel means more to me than you know. I wish you both the best!
Wow, you really did a great job on describing the journey. Thank you...I don't feel quite so alone.
I am in the same boat, hard to be a mom and help when they won't let you in.
You have to practice self care. Exercise, eat well, make your bed...simple but effective. Get your hair done, pedicure,take your vitamins. Maybe a course of antidepressants from a clinical therapist, who you also see regularly. I help developmental disabled adults and they are grateful for my care. My daughter just seems to see me as the enemy and not part of a team that is there to achieve wellness. I know I too am a good mom, I really do...God put me on this journey for a reason! Her psychosis is always present and active...if she could just let the light come on and take the medication and get her team together. Positivity and Prayer
Hi Jen.. I can totally relate! I am mother and caregiver to my 32 year old who has DID/schizophrenia and you described it to a T! It is so painful when we’re their Mothers and doing all we can! I’m a trigger too! She is currently in the hospital and we have found a great place for aftercare🙏🏻
We should make a parent group. It would be so helpful. I can’t find one and we need it so so much. Please let me know if you know any parent groups
I started dating my best friend recently and he had told me before that he had psychosis for a period of time before we met. His last episode was over a year before we met. We just went through our first experience of another psychosis episode on a camping trip and I had no idea what to do or how to be supportive because of how much he rejected everyone and how scared and confused he was. Watching this video gave me so much emotional validation because it was almost exactly the escalation you described and i know now that there were limited things I could’ve done even though i wish i couldve done more and been able to help him. i never left his side for a moment even if he was running away from me, this channel is a huge help in empowering me to continue to support him through the experiences you guys are open about and it is so appreciated! thank you!
Lauren is so lucky to have a very loving and supportive husband!
Its barbaric how hospitals handle psychiatric situations, so unprepared, glad you brought that to light
Just like police handling such situations with deadly force.
Join up see how it goes, maybe you can be the example for others
As an ED nurse I completely understand your frustration. Your comments about cynicism and jadedness are correct. I've noticed these changes in my attitude since I've been in the department for over two years. Unfortunately the volume of patients, the acuity, the constant fear of assault, and the scrutiny all add up over time. I'm not going to even attempt to justify these attitudes because I know they're wrong. I simply have to deal with them, change departments, or leave the industry. I don't know what the solution is, I'm told I'm suited to the environment, but most of the senior floor staff have these traits.
Let's be honest, fear of assault isn't the only instances when we pull out the Haldol and the restraints. If a patient is pissing us off, we can easily have those authorized, by claiming that the patient's behavior is 'threatening' or 'agitated' even when the behavior doesn't meet any of these criteria even by the loosest and broadest standards.
Humanoid dolls on a power trip while harvesting thoughts.
Lawrence Li Lawrence Li not sure if this is common in other jurisdictions, but there is an exception to our law that criminalizes assaults, and that exception is if it is a nurse administering meds. No wonder some fight back (of course some of it is psychosis-some of it is self-defense). Real disturbing.
so basically nurses need mental healthcare as well, otherwise they become numb and end up treating the most vulnerable patients like a piece of meat which can leave them scarred for life, both the patient and the nurse.
@@MegaHotdiggity But there are People who will atttack you while they are on a psychological crises, not the majority, but i have seen that happen. It lacks criminal energy, but in many law systems this doesnt free ypu from youir liability of your own actions. And with right, nurses arent punchbags, so i can understand it if people are taken down with medication to prevent this. No one is helped on a psychiatry if there are no nurses cause patients can live their aggressions out free. The Golden Way is sure another one, this is the last resort. But sometimes its needed, even if its for your harm
I'm a pharmacist in Australia and I watch channels like yours to learn how to my patients as much as I can. I will admit when listening to Lauren's story I wondered how much of her view of the situation was her logical self and how much was the illness. As a health care professional I can easily see how these two viewpoints can get confused resulting in the nurses only reacting to the illness instead of the person. Thank you for reminding me that no matter the severity of an illness the viewpoints of the person are still valid.
Does it matter what was the logical self and what is the illness? Both are the same subjective experience of suffering
Good thing you're a pharmacist and not a psychiatrist
The humanity is very important & if the legally authorized person for help don’t have the sense of humanity the better leave their job than TRAUMATIZE SICK PEOPLE WITH THIER UN POLITE AND NOT RESPECT BEHAVIORS !!! There should be a punishment system for any AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIORS FROM THE POLICE OR NURCE OR DOCTORS!!! I have the same experience with the doctor and his nurse at the EMERGENCY HOSPITAL AND THEY ABUSED ME AND ASSULT ME AND MEKES ME FEEL INJURED AND LOST THE HUMANS DIGNITY ANF FELL DISABLED TO DEFENCE MY SELF WHILE THEY WERE IN A COOL BLOOD ASSAULTING AND ABUSING ME!!! Thank and GOD BLESS YOU FOR THE HONESTY ANT THE COURAGE YOU HAVE TO HELP ATHER PATIENTS WHO GOES THROUGH THE SAME UGLY AND UN RESPECT EMERGENCY HOSPITAL STAFF!!!😍
I'm an Australian currently in hospital with my youngest child who has shown schizophrenic behaviours and even we are on the regular medical ward in the children's hospital, they have tried twice to send us to the psych ward. The psychiatrists have stopped it and I don't want her there at all. This makes me worry very much for her future, she is only 14.
@@ashpash78 Australia is a first world environment with 3rd world outcomes
Rob, your representation here is calm, respectful, loving and supportive in the best way. Your frank and candid approach is refreshing, too. Your innate ability to separate the person from the illness is progressive and a lesson to everyone watching.
You two are really important people. Thank you for all you are risking in order that others can be helped.
I live with mental illness and have been to the hospital twice. I wish I had a support like you during those dark times. Lauren is very lucky to have you.
As a nurse, I HATE visiting hours! At my hospital we don’t have any. Family involvement is so important for people. Certainly if family is being disruptive we should be able to kick them out but generally family is helpful and makes a stay so much more tolerable for people.
Tjis man is great for her. He knows how to adapt to her needs around the illness. God bless.
You did an amazing job. I have Dissociative identity disorder and was married, and I would have given anything to have someone who even did half of what you did to try and support her through the crisis. Bottom line, you cared and were motivated by trying to do what what best for her, and that is what matters. She is a very lucky woman and you guys seem to make a really good team!
If I’d only had one person in the world that cared like this. My Mother just gets angry about anything but help. It makes it worse. If I shared her responses to my cry for help, I know most people would be shocked. I’m telling her I’m suicidal and she takes offence about a question I asked and doesn’t respond to it. It’s so confusing.
ER nurse here: You two give such a wonderful voice to an illness that is so stigmatized and isolating! I'm not posting to defend nurses, but I did want to shed some light as to what policies typically guide our practice. An ER is a very unstable and chaotic environment so I would assume the reason that Lauren had to be in a walled of room is because she was at risk of absconding. A curtained room in a place with lots of foot traffic is very stimulating and very easy to escape from and so despite her previously traumatic experiences with it, a controlled environment was going to be "safer." Unfortunately in the ER a majority of care is dictated by "how to not get sued" vs. what might actually be best for that patient. Her escaping and potentially causing harm to herself was a higher priority than her having a voice in her plan of care. Kind of a Maslow's heirarchy of needs situation. I believe a lot of the power struggles that you experienced in the ER are due to the fact that many patients that ER nurses interact with can be violent, specifically those who are experiencing alternate realities. It is because of these experiences that they were likely trying to establish dominance. As far as the visitor policy, in my ER visitors are typically allowed all of the time, but we are more cautious with visitors for our mental health patients because we don't know the relationship and the patient is not fully decisional and able to decide who they want present. Additionally, many mental health illnesses can go hand in hand with substance use illnesses and visitors can potentially bring in substances to the patients. I agree that the treatment Lauren received was less than ideal and not meeting many of her needs. I wish that we did have more mental health resources in ER's since we see so many patients in crisis. I believe that the attitude of the nurses could have considerably improved her time there. We are taught to establish a "therapeutic relationship" with patients and to promote discussion of their care, but in practice that can fall very low on the priority list for some nurses which just plain sucks. I'm sorry that your experience was so lacking, but I'm glad you're doing much better!!! Thank you for all the information and insight you share!
The medical field has devolved into a toxic cess pit of greed whose only 2 priorities are racking up insurance payments and avoiding litigation. The worst is “mental health” because psych wards are fed an endless stream of prisoners/cash cows who are locked in and can’t leave, seek a second opinion, or go someplace else if they are abused or treated badly. So there is no incentive whatsoever to treat people with common decency or any respect. Majority of psych wards have 2 stars or lower on GoogleReviews. No other business model could thrive like that!
Your condescending attitude is absolutely disgusting.
Just excuse after excuse for treating mentally ill patients like animals, huh?
James , what you write is just not true.
This attitude among psych nurses is sadly very common. Though on rare occasion, you can find a good/caring nurse.
And it is also very common that ERs are very traumatic. And hospital PTSD is more common then they are willing to admit.
Trust and them being truthful is very, very important!
My daughter has been dealing with psychosis, the doctors diagnosed her with schizophrenia. Your videos are helpful for me in supporting her. Having worked as an inpatient psychiatric nurse, I see how hard it is to support others inside and outside of hospitalization. I hope my daughter will be able to have a partner as supportive as you.
he needs to back down way before that sometimes people need to think by themselves and giving them space is important bc after your put in into a self help care unit it imediately becomes about how they got in. we realize your scared after we get out and are careful what we say around anyone not a doctor. By that i do mean an actual doctoret not a nurse bc their iq's are still small.
Talk about “starting the conversation”! Lauren and Rob, your frankness and openness can only serve to educate people and promote understanding of people with mental illness. While I have not watched all of your videos (yet), I find myself riveted to my computer watching your channel. I firmly believe your Chanel represents one of the most important videos ever made. God I wish neither of you had to go through what you experience however take comfort knowing you are helping both people living with mental illness and helping people understand the illness. Your videos could easily be turned into a television show (CBC, CTV, CITY TV or GLOBAL TV, I hope you are watching). Both of you have certainly educated me. As for flack from “Lauren’s loving audience” I hope not. Rob, you are one half of a terrific couple. I sincerely you do more videos with Lauren. Again, thank you for educating me.
Gregory McKenna I agree!! A documentary or series would be perfect. The need for this clear, compassionate and articulate conversation is great. Our federal and provincial governments must do better. Treating those in mental health crisis like violent offenders only serves to frighten people away from treatment and an improved life. It’s absolutely heartbreaking. Lock a person away for displaying symptoms of disease that they are unable to control?! How is that “care” or “treatment”?!
Yes!!! And yet, ironically TH-cam seems to have demonetized it!
roki feler hi Roki: look at all of Lauren and Rob’s videos. Both of them bare their souls in order to educate us and help people understand mental illness. This subject has been Taboo for so long and finally, thanks, in part to people like Lauren and Rob, people are understanding what it is all about and what people with the illness go through. I work in a large organization with several thousand people. I was also a member of our Health and Safety committee. Over the years I have come across many people who suffer temporary or permanent mental illness. I have pointed many people to Lauren and Robs videos in an effort to further the conversation and educate them. I for one am tremendously proud that Lauren and Rob do what they do. It takes courage and guts to openly talk about their personal experiences. So while Lauren did not have a lot to say in this video, look at some of their other videos and if you find them useful, help spread the word and ask others to watch them. Hope this helps. Cheers! Greg
I think that including the ‘behind the scenes’ footage with Lauren was really effective. It’s clear you both put a lot of thought into how you can present things with both honesty and care.
roki feler I can’t speak for them, but I know that many other people who speak about mental illness and/or physical health problems choose not to discuss the specifics of their medications. For one, that’s personal information and nobody is obligated to share it. But secondly, medication is specific to each individual, and so it’s better for others watching to talk to a medical professional about their medication; I know other mental health advocates tend to avoid talking specifics about medication for this reason, because they aren’t personally qualified to advise others on medication. I didn’t think their depiction was utopic; they seemed to be describing a harrowing experience, and if there is information they prefer to leave out to preserve their own privacy, that’s up to them.
I feel so badly for him. What a committed man. I also have tremendous empathy for both of them.
As someone with mental health crises in her past, no flack from me for Rob's reaction. I'm so glad that you were there for Lauren.
This is exactly what I experienced as a partner. This illness is so heavy for everyone.
You are such an awesome partner, Rob, to support your girlfriend in this difficult situations!
And Lauren, it is amazing that you are showing your story to the world. I am convinced that this is helping you heal!
Love from Germany 😊
Thank-you both for "normalizing" the stigma of mental illness. Psychotic breaks or episodes are frightening as the danger to self and others is high level. Going through this unsettling event makes one realize how important support of caring individuals and the needed network after the episode. It takes a special person to survive and thrive through the episodes, be they patient or patient advocate. Kudos you two!!
What impresses me so much about Lauren is how open, clear, and resilient she is about her life.
Transparent as glass.
With my wife currently in hospital suffering from her 2nd major depressive episode, I am thankful for this reflective. It let me understand that I am not the only one living through this nightmare. It also gives me hope. With thoughts that your loved one is lost forever, you get hope in the understanding that you aren't alone. It gives me more strength to help my loved one through the illness they are experiencing. It also gives me strength to get through my doubt!
You did an amazing job supporting her! I am a nurse myself. You’re right in saying nurses become almost numb to things. Mental health is serious!
Hiding the car keys was very cool. I understand the fight or flight she was going though and how horrible you must have seemed to her, but totally the right thing to do.
I can see that you think it was a good decision to hide the keys Keith. I would love to hear what both Rob and Lauren think about it. Was it the right move for Rob to hide Laurens keys at that time. Because In the video above, you can see Lauren said it was 'not cool' for him to do so. What do you think now Lauren and Rob?
Advocates are so important. Thank you for sharing.
Anyone with the strength and compassion to support someone suffering from mental health issues is a hero in my eyes! Bless you all!
Thank you so much for this. My father has schizophrenia. He will be coming to live with me soon and I am looking for information and support to best support him.
Praying for you and your dad, that God will give you both strength, hope, and healing during this time. You're a good daughter to help take care of your father love.
You are going to be his care taker? My dad has schizophrenia and you must make sure your dad never goes off of his medication. Please have extra support. You cannot do this alone without other family members.
@@Brooke2000 yes she is right. The medication and good sleep is crucial. If he is not already on long term injectable medication I would recommend looking into it... I have a family member with it and the long term injectable has changed his life..
@roki feler uhh? Generally you don't ask family members about that kind of thing 😕 talk to a doctor about side effects!
How are you and your dad doing, Jen?
I’m just seeing this a year after your posting it, and to one of the last things you said about Lauren’s loving subscribers being hard on you, I can’t fathom that anyone could possibly be. Lauren is so very lucky to have you in her life. What you did and how you did it - from having to deal with the police to the “aggressive nurses” in the hospital, was absolutely heroic. You’re a wonderful partner. Bless you both.
Please share this with hospital leadership so they know what your ED experience was like. Thank you for sharing with us from your perspective.
I also work in the ED of a major hospital, and have previously worked as a paramedic with EMS.
Guys, this kind of video is truly amazing. Hearing an honest and shared recap as a couple is invaluable.
This is an experience that I know neither of you wanted, but I’m really glad you decided to share it with us.
Yeah, I'm a schizophrenic and it really means a lot to me to watch these videos. I appreciate you leaving a comment. Hope all is well for you, have a great day.
I like your profile pic and name lol
You were a good partner Rob when she needed you. Your intentions were good and you were very supportive.
You are an amazing partner, Rob. I struggled HARD trying to support a loved one and ultimately lost them. It's devastating and confusing and frightening. And you know they care, but they're saying they don't. And the moment you stop caring everything gets worse and worse until you can't fix it anymore. That's why I 100% agree with Lauren that it HAS to be collaborative because the only person who truly knows how bad it's getting is her. Without that voice screaming "maybe we should go to the hospital" or the strong spirit that keeps going to a psychiatrist and therapist you wouldn't be able to support her. There'd be nothing to hold. So keep your head high knowing that there is a REASON Lauren is an advocate. You got the best partner because she wants to push on. And she has the best partner who never had to, but will always choose to push on too.
I can honestly say that you both are absolutely meant to be together. A match made in heaven. The level of teamwork you share is pretty amazing. I’m happy for you two! When times are rough, you have each other. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
You know i watched an interview with kanye west and he explained how when they put you in a hospital and take away everything and if you don't know what's going on ...it is the most terrifieing experience because they tear away from everyone and you are placed in a room all by yourself and isolated so if your already having thoughts of distrust and scared, why do they do this ? He said he wishes they would put you in that room with some one you trust and cares for you because thats when you need them the most. I thought it was very good idea because it would be more humane and it would make it less scary and people would actually feel better about going into a hospital if they didn't seperate you from your loved ones !!!
Can u post that video
At least in America, 99% of the people who get forcibly detained need to be in a hospital, and they ARE dangerous-whether to themselves, or others. It’s not like the “normal” mental illness you see from the streets, it’s that on a bit of steroids. I personally was strangled by a client I visited in the psych hospital, and that wasn’t even the most violent person I had come across. But yes, these particular resources are overused. Often, staff become desensitized by the patients because they ARE so difficult. I can’t even imagine the burnout or how they keep up with that work.
MegaHotdiggity Perhaps it’s time they step away from the job and seek a new, less strenuous, occupation then 🤷🏻♀️
In many psychotic episodes people will commonly have delusions of loved one poisoning them or trying to harm them . So that may be the reason
@@misspowers yes - maybe rotating nurses/staff in and out of psych so they are not concentrated only in that field would be better for all patients - but def. installing cameras would help the safety for everyone
This is amazing thank you so much for this❤️
I was hospitalized once. Some staff were great; others should have been in a different line of work. If someone you love is in the hospital, be sure to visit/write. The patient will get better treatment if he has obvious outside support. At least it seemed that way to me. My husband visited me every day, twice a day. People sent cards.
@@affectivity They probably treat you better if you have outside support because you have someone to tell what's been going on who might believe you and fight for you, while a patient who doesn't have anyone who cares for them can be abused, and even if they told authorities, they wouldn't believe them.
@@affectivity ppp p
The staff are wary of injury at the hands of the pts...
All they want to do in emergency/hospital treatment is stabilize the pt, and keep them "safe" until they are stable. Nothing therapeutic happens in the hospital.
You have to fight and advocate for your loved one's care. Fight for a social worker, insurance, care. It gets easier over time, because you will know what to expect.
Make sure to pt takes their meds and help plan life with them, to keep them stable and supported.
Good luck, and believe God has a purpose for all this!
I’m concerned about these nurses... what happens to people who don’t have someone to advocate for them? I have a friend with schizoaffective disorder and he has been brutalized during his hospitalizations.
same happened to a dear friend of mine. It's a frustrating and helpless situation being on the outside and not abele to intervene and advocate for them.
this is the reason why people with phychosis aviod doctors and hosptials we are treat terribly. we are ignored
these health proffessional see us as a threat when we are not
this need to changes
I worked briefly at a psych hospital. I can see how it would be completely re traumatizing for an individual already going through something. It’s terrible the lack of compassion the people working there have. I hope something can happen for this to improve bc people need compassion and true help during these times of need
@@emaezing it’s absolutely horrific… I can’t even put into words how horribly I was treated. I still suffer from the experience over a year later.
Have had some truly horrific things happen to me in psych clinics and hospitals, and there is so little you can do. Nothing, really. Even with people on the outside advocating for me.
Mental health workers are almost always immune to any form of consequences for their actions, and sometimes cruelty is even actively Rewarded by the work culture or system. And that right there is why I avoid mental health care as much as possible.
I sincerely appreciate this video and your candor. I am bipolar and my wife has been to the hospital with me many times. I can't imagine how hard it is for her. You both are beautiful people. Thank you!
Omgggg im crying its so soothing to see someone be so understanding, loving her despite all this. I think guilt for puting or loved ones through a lot is the worse.
SNOOZ QUEEN YES! It gives me hope. There is someone out there who can love me for me and recognize the difference between me “and my illness”.
I have schizophrenia and been hospitalized a few times. One thing that I've learned from my friends in the medical field that really concerns me is that non-psych nurses (like those in ER) are still trained to try to dissuade you from believing hallucinations or delusions instead of trying to build trust. When in the middle of a psychotic break trapped in an ER all that does is make us more paranoid and fearful.
Yes, I have been hospitalized several times as well (bipolar). The ER visit is the WORST part of the whole experience. The actual psych ward itself was fine. It's the ER I hate. Something really needs to change with our system. We need mental health emergency rooms.
Rob you are an amazing compassionate person! Lauren is blessed to have you on her team to recovery. Thank you so much for sharing.
Hello thank you for making this. My son has experienced mental health difficulties. this past summer he experienced his first manic episode lasting 3 months. It was hell. He quit his job. He ripped thru all his savings. He got into trouble with the law. charged with mischief. proposed to a girl he knew for a week. ... still he wouldn't attend the doc. But he did settle down eventually and is now working within our family owned business. He is still in deep denial about his illness. Although he is stable albeit depressed he will not attend a psychiatrist saying he will go if he needs to. i love when you say this is not her, it is her illness. Perfect.
What you don't get: he has the right to be ill. And the meds don't help and make it even worse in the longterm. If he is stable now - what do you want?
@@kareendeveraux1847 What do you even mean!? I want my son to be safeguarded against his illness the best way he can. His illness is a villain. It comes and steals his identity and his sanity. So I want him on meds that can keep him sane. Like Lithium or Abilify or Depakote mood stabilizers anti psychotics. He is now taking something similar but the meds aren’t as strong as what we would like. The next time he could very well end up in jail or worse.
@@denisepaulsenful Did this episode occur while on medication? There are some meds out there that can cause mania, like antidepressants. We do know to little how that medication works on the human brain, they are unpredictable. Also, how they interact. You can get some information on youtube from medicating normal. There are a lot of people who got worse and worse by adding more meds. We should be much more careful with the medication. Moreover we can't work with them longterm, because the brain adjusts to them.
Rob seems very kind and compassionate. I’m glad you have each other to get through tough times.
I love hearing the spouse's perspective, having a supportive partner is everything! (Thank you partners, we appreciate you haha!)
imagine having open wounds and a nurse rubs dirt in it.
this is what the "nurses" did.
just with the difference that the dirt wont stay forever unlike a trauma.
I love Rob's empathy, his caring, and his ability to just dive deeply into conversation. Rob is the kind of guy (putting myself out on a limb here) we all hope to find in our lives. What a gem!! Great video you two.
I agree, as a man a lot older than Rob, I am learning from his approach. Its soo hard to remain stable and rational with someone experiencing psychosis.
It tests the partner and lets face it it will trigger our anxiety or other issues too!
@@lundsweden That is so true. It makes as all step up and be a better version of ourselves.
You did so well, Rob! As someone who has had a health crisis I know how grateful Lauren must be. No one can manage such a situation perfectly and no one expects it of you. Just trying your best and BEING THERE is perfect in itself 🏆
Lauren is such a beautiful person inside and out- and it is wonderful that she has such a wonderful boyfriend and supporter.
I am so in awe of the courage you both have to open your life and perspective up to the world like this. I have seen some schizophrenia in my life and had no idea the dynamics of a soul dealing with this. Thankyou from the bottom of my heart for taking me along on your healing journey so I might learn.
It makes me feel very comforted and validated to see how partners can be supportive and work through things together. Makes me feel like I won't be alone forever :)
This was a really thoughtful, open and balanced discussion - really interesting and valuable to hear 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing this! It’s nice to hear someone trying to navigate through these situations
Thank you Rob for adding so much perspective so we can all be helpful to those in need. Many blessings to you for the love and care you have for your partner Lauren and both your continued education in this mental health awareness and treatment from this perspective. Both your work will help all of us understand how to help
I’d really like to thank you both so much for all your hard work creating this channel and providing a very important resource for thousands of us who are either suffering from schizophrenia or are their care givers or partners. My GF has been suffering for years but was only recently diagnosed and your channel has been a great help. Thank you both so much
Thank you both for posting this video. Seeing a partners thoughts and perspective on loving and advocating for someone with mental illness is so powerful. It helps to see and hear what our loved ones struggle and cope with as well. Truly, thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I'm currently crying. I have been in a supporter situation with my ex partner for many many years (different mental health diagnosis). The mixture of feelings of helplessness, confusion, rejection, love, worry, anxiety, panic and the ever present self doubt... God, it feels like I'm not the only one. Thank you.
And the growing hypervigilence and anxiety of watching for the next episode....
I know it was about caring for my partner, and shouldn't be about me... But It damaged me long term. I was not as strong as I wish I had been.
I'm so glad you are actively getting therapy and are able to talk to each other rationally now about these events and these feelings.
Thank you both so much.
I wish you both all the best and hope with all my heart you have far more days of sunshine than the dark days.
It’s truly beautiful and speaks volumes that you are able to be so completely THERE with her and empathetic to what she was feeling while also dealing with your own emotions regarding this. I really commend you both for being transparent.
Thank you both for your kindness, frankness and it shows how loving and empathic you both are. ❤
Rob and Lauren, something that might really help a lot, well two somethings. I use a WRAP plan (I highly recommend WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan) which is not just for being well but also other times) and have the crisis section posted on my fridge. It gives me structure for when things are "falling apart". Tells me what I need to do. Some of the police in the USA know to look on the fridge of someone in a mental health crisis for a wrap plan, I also have a specific one page safety plan that has different steps for me and my supporters and what to do when I am at different types of crisis and points in crisis.
But, working out and planning when you are healthy what to do when you are in crisis or close to crisis might seem hard, and it will take a few hours to do, but it helps so much. I even have a "hospital bag" in the closet I have with some clothes, books, and stuffed animals.
Personally I find the WRAP patronising. Hopefully it gets updated soon
I think it was really important to see things from both sides, I originally followed this channel in an attempt to understand my boyfriend better- but getting the viewpoint from the support side has been really helpful, thank you so much. :)
There are no words to express my gratitude to you (and Lauren) for making these videos. This one in particular, was so enlightening. Thank you for being such a strong, compassionate man who understands the incredible importance of education. When you know better, you do better. (MA). Thank you for helping so many to know better. 🙏🏻
Thank you so much for this video. I'm going through supporting a loved one during their hospitalization right now and this helped me orient myself and process what's going on. And to not feel alone. The thoroughness, thoughtfulness, and advocacy really mean a lot.
I can't thank you enough for this and all the effort both of you have made.
For people like us in a similar situation your explanations and experiences give me insight and even more precious.. Hope.
Oh my gosh Lauren, you are so beautiful & articulate & your kind spirit just radiates. I hate that you struggle with this, but I’m just so grateful that you have such a loving & supportive partner. You guys are both such special & unique spirits, you are truly a light in the world Lauren!!!Sending you prayers, love, good vibes & good health
What an honest (and loving) reaccount of a challenging experience for you both. Thanks for sharing this with the world. WE all need to see this. Keep doing what you do.
You two are incredibly lovely people. You are awesome for being open and sharing your story. This is incredible.
This is exactly the video I needed to watch, thank you so much!!!! I love this channel it is helping me understand my husband and help him go trough this.
Rob, it is so great you were able to withstand all these stuff. When I was undergoing a psychosis I thought my friends were my envious enemies. I was fleeing from them while they were just trying to assist. I wasn't capable to understand it because it was like being in a deep dream. I was very suspicious and didn't want to agree to be hospitalized. But now I am so grateful to them for their real help and compassion.
I am so glad channels like this (and brave people like you) exist! So helpful. Thank you.
My heart is full!! 💜So thankful my youtube search brought you both into my life! My husband and I are parenting our adult daughter who is living with schizoaffective disorder. Your story and detailed experiences resonated deeply. The Mental Healthcare System is sadly archaic and antiquated. 💔 I look forward to being part of the pioneering force to bring positive change to the way we treat and perceive mental illness. Thank you beyond measure for making your voices heard through youtube! You have been a lifeline to our family here in Connecticut as we navigate through the system while having to protect and defend our daughter and her right to live a life of balance and well-being!!💖
He did so much more than anyone I know could have done. And he's learned a lot about how bad things can get in terms of how patients are dehumanized. Anyone in my life would have complained the whole time, abandoned me and then complained to anyone who would listen about what an inconvenience the whole thing was for THEM.
So very true. It is for me. Sometimes you can not count on your family. All the time for some.
Ive legit been told to suffer in silence.
Commenting again because he is a saint, never had someone so patient with me, omg you diserve a medal
Thank you two for making this channel and talking about these issues! ❤
You are both amazing people. Thank you so much for your candor and openness.
Thank you So much Lauren and Rob for this video! My partner is schizophrenic & I can relate to every emotion and feeling Rob has felt. Helps me understand I'm not alone and there is hope.
Rob, I know a little bit about what it is like to try and help someone going through a mental health crisis and I want to acknowledge how difficult it must have been for you. I am so impressed with your candor and your willingness to tell this very emotional story for the good of others. What you and Lauren are doing together will change things. Thank you for sharing your perspective, I do not know how you held it together so well! What you two are doing is amazing. I wish you both healing. xo
Wow! I love how you two are so open and honest about your experiences.
You guys are a beautiful example of support and true love, in an area where we, as a society have so much, left by the wayside! Thank you for your honesty and openness in sharing your story! Love and light to you both! 😇😇
This must be so personal and difficult to share with strangers, unbelievable courage and strength to do so. The only way to combat the stigma and social issues related to mental illness, hospitalization and treatment is doing exactly this. Talking about and sharing these experiences with us and each other. Thank you.
Love this. Thanks for sharing. You two are a strong couple and amazing people.
Thank You for taking the time to create and share this wonderful video with us all. Your story is victory over your circumstances is amazing!!! You are an excellent speaker ❤️
Powerful message and perspective that people need to see and hear. Thank you for sharing the good, bad, and ugly of dealing with mental health and institutions. Change is needed. ❤️
Omg this is hard to watch even , I can’t imagine going thru this , god bless and take care of her your a good man bless you two.
Wow, Rob...you are a hero! I can imagine how bad this illness is for Lauren. But you are sharing all these hardships....I wish your family a lot of health!
You guys are so amazing. No one has all of the answers, but opening up the conversation is KEY. Please don’t stop what y’all are doing 🙏🏼