Is the fear of confrontation starting to be a problem in your life? please book your free discovery call, and you will be set free quickly and permanently using Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT): calendly.com/zeinakreichaty/60-min
I think that my fear of confrontation just comes from not having friends in school while growing up and just wanting people to like me throughout my childhood. I think deep inside I still hold onto this desire for people to like me which makes me not want to step on anyone’s toes.
I fear confrontation because I think I will lose my argument not for the content of what I said but for how I phrased it or didn't see and explain all the angles in what I argued; in short, I don't want to lose when I should win. I am also a fraid I will lose just because I see it a different way than they do.
Thats exactly how I feel, at the exact moment I want to confront someone I feel my body shaking and I know the words that will come out will come out wrong because i can feel my voice shaking. And I don't wanna loose the argument i cannot afford to loose i have to always win, I dont know why but its carved deep in my soul. So id rather not try than try and potentially loose the argument (and my mind at the same time)
I am not afraid of confrontation as i will definitely stick up for myself, but during the confrontation i have anxiety, shakes and heart palpitations. I need to be able to stay physically calm under those circumstances
My cortisol kicks hard Fright flight reaction. Anxiety can prevent me from talking in shock 😲 I am not great at dealing with false accusations and judgement it hurts .
I fear confrontation because i’m scared the person will hurt me verbally or otherwise. I feel like if i’m not liked by someone i’m in danger and I don’t feel strong enough to beat the threat. I also don't want to be to aggressive towards someone who doesn't deserve it.
Just be aware of the "word" scared. It's safer to use : I get uncomfortable rather than scared. When you say scared, you are telling your mind you are in "danger" and the fear will be greater. Just a little tip:) keep up with working on it and let me know if you need help
@@rushilllllI learnt that you can never control people's minds and thoughts as a person. Changing yourself to be liked by one group of people will lead you to be disliked by another group. You can never please everybody. People have the freedom to like you or not like you. They are entitled to their freedom. Use your freedom to like yourself ❤
@@alzy188 this is actually very true, and very well put down by you. And makes a lot of sense. Having the freedom to like yourself should be the most important thing. And now that i think about it, if you can’t like yourself, you can’t expect other people to like you too. Thanks alot for this!!!
Im afraid of confict with my sister because im afraid we will say things that will make us estranged for years. Im afraid well say or do things hard yo recover from. This is especially true with family.
I'm similar, I just don't rilly care if my sister likes me or not, I just know I'm going to have to deal with her for a few more years until one of us move out, probably me, and that from past experiences confrontation if anything might make her worse. Not saying my sister's a bad person, just saying she's very immature, and not a good person.
My fear when u confront someone Rejection , Humiliation , Feeling like im super sensitive that is why i dont confront people who bully me , thinking on what others would think of me
Thank you for making this video the explanation was spot on! It is true that it is all thoughts and belief. I am a youth preacher i fear when i speak, i play this role and i get anxiety with that i dont speak fluently on what i think im trying to learn to articulate my words . Because i always speak at front but i always feel ashamed of myself when i dont speak on what i think.
@johnpatrickpineda7687 i think it takes strength and courage to say and admit all what we feel like you did. Fear of rejection is in our DNA as humans because our mind is tribal. But this can be changed
My struggle with confrontation is the fear of violent retaliation. I had a very verbally abusive step father and anytime i would attempt to stand up for myself he always threatened physical violence. Luckily it never happened but it was always threatened and now thats why im afraid of confrontation. Any suggestions on how to get past that?
I presume you don't live with him anymore? If that is the case, you can start repeating to yourself as your mind is listening: i am safe, and it is safe to reply or confront. Start associating confrontation to self love, to pleasure. I hope this works for you, if not, i can help you in 1 session
I never used to fear confrontation or expressing myself but in the last few years the bullies (especially at work) have been vicious. People become so aggressive and vindictive when they’re called out.
i think i have a confrontation problem because i lack the skills of communication or phrasing. in other words, whenever im in conflict, my brain freezes and i can not come up with answers/arguements and i just lose my ability to speak, my brain freezes and i dont know how to react/speak/act. Whats the fix for this?
Excellent explanation, really enjoyed listening to self reminders and analysis of the 'Why' In various situations that are unhealthy and uncomfortable. Very reassuring. Thank you.
I'm terrified of people having bad opinions of me or getting into arguments, I'm a massive people pleaser. I would rather be a recluse than possibly get any negative social interaction, I'm very aloof and quiet because I'm afraid of it.
This is a great video and I believe that it is true that the other person is responsible for their own feelings, but that does not mean that you can be rude or hurtful or aggressive in your approach to another person and shrug off your own negative actions by saying that the other person getting angry is their fault, they control their emotions. I think this video missed a step in talking about the accountability for how we approach the confrontation in the first place. It seems to encourage putting all the blame for any outcome on the other party regardless of how the person starting the confrontation approaches it.
And to add to, I would love to be able to tell somebody that them kicking. The back of my seat is not OK and they stop in that be the end of it or I would love to tell somebody that been weaving in and out of traffic and tailgating is unsafe and it’s putting me in harms way for no reason I would love to be able to say that and it just end like that I would love to be able to confront people about stuff they’re doing and they actually fix their actions and that be that without it escalating, but that’s not the case. It’s simply not the case
Hi Ziena… thank for making this video. I am really struggling to determine what i am truly afraid of. I thought it may be fear of it becoming physical or fear of rejection/getting backed into a corner metaphorically… but i also struggle when its other people getting into confrontations. Even watching 2 people through a video, I get so uncomfortable and sometimes my anxiety gets so high i have to stop watching or leave/tune out. But it is much worse if i am directly involved. My heart will beat so fast and hard and my whole body goes weak (i think its fight or flight mode). Is it possible there are multiple fears behind this? Or do you have any helpful input? ❤ ill keep working in identifying the issue
Hello Deborah, i can see you understand a lot when it comes to the nervous system and anxiety. i would invite yo9u to find few minutes of calm, try to go back in your memory to place date event when you were much younger, have you witnessed a fight between your parents for example? what happened, what did you deduce, what were the beliefs you formed? or maybe at school, have you been in a fight, were you so scared that you might have commanded your mind never to go there?
I don’t agree with this. I don’t agree with we create the fear out of confrontation. I don’t agree with this because I personally fear confrontation not because I’m scared of it but because I know personally, what happens with confrontation what happens with confrontation is 90% of the time the person being confronted is going to escalate this situation and in my past, they’ve escalated it to physical contact, so my fear is created my fear of what it’s like to confront somebody doing something or saying something that is wrong. We live in a world now people don’t like being held accountable for their actions and confront them for created even bigger issue so let’s talk about this. I would love to sit down with you on a video, call or something to discuss this with me - you some questions about what kind of confrontations have you been in and what was the outcome of those confrontations and what were those situations that you found yourself been confrontations? This is way deeper than what you’re leading on right now, and it’s not just people creating fear of confrontation because their ideas linked to confrontation reality that’s the reality of their world
man same, & as a man it kinda feels disgusting that i’m scared of confrontation because of what might happen, not that i’m scared to fight or anything but like i don’t want it to go there because it’s unnecessary
I agree with you I think if I’m understanding correctly what you’re getting at. Confrontation is called what it is for a reason, if you confront someone then immediately no matter what the circumstances are one of the two parties has more or less control/power over the other. When a boss is confronted by a regular employee or some other not as important person, the confrontation ends in the worker finding a new job end of story more times then not. When confronted on the street because some guy called you a slur or something of the sorts, if you can’t fight you’ve escalated the situation by confronting them and can end very, very badly if they do in fact know how to fight or have a weapon ect. Confronting people is worlds different from each other depending on the context of what/who you are confronting and why/how. Confrontation is an act of aggression or atleast perceived aggression on the confronted person side, often ending in violence or abuse of power in moments of silly people’s naive moments to think they have a right to confront anyone they feel like whenever something doesn’t go their way. If your boss wronged you as a part time employee and you waltz into the office and confront them, being overly combative you are going to be fired because your not important enough to be confronting your boss like that or even in general depending on how bad of a person they might be. Confronting people is almost never going to end in the confronted person agreeing with you and sympathising your view, only people who are more mature then 90% of humans and who love you are going to do that lol, people who think otherwise don’t live in the real world/workforce and have no understanding how humans deal with criticism/ being confronted by someone who thinks it’s as easy as telling the other person they are 100% in the wrong and needs to stop lmfao what a dumb view.
exactly but the good news is that beliefs are ours to change. exactly as we reached those beliefs we can reframe them using the power of the subconscious mind
@@zeinakreichaty-hypnotherapy If free will is an illusion then beliefs are not ours to change. there is no self or will. There is only genetics and environment. Now you know how to forgive.
i am sorry to hear this. unfortunately we cannot change the past but we definitely can change the interpretation that would suit us better for a calmer more peaceful present and future.
Is the fear of confrontation starting to be a problem in your life? please book your free discovery call, and you will be set free quickly and permanently using Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT):
calendly.com/zeinakreichaty/60-min
I think that my fear of confrontation just comes from not having friends in school while growing up and just wanting people to like me throughout my childhood. I think deep inside I still hold onto this desire for people to like me which makes me not want to step on anyone’s toes.
Same here. Being an outcast in teenage years made me awkward people pleaser😂
Same for me I relate.
Yeah I think this is what happened to me too :/
me too T.T
Same :/
I fear confrontation because I think I will lose my argument not for the content of what I said but for how I phrased it or didn't see and explain all the angles in what I argued; in short, I don't want to lose when I should win. I am also a fraid I will lose just because I see it a different way than they do.
The question is why is it so important to show that you won? Maybe you need to dig further here. I am glad to help, get in touch if needed :)
Thats exactly how I feel, at the exact moment I want to confront someone I feel my body shaking and I know the words that will come out will come out wrong because i can feel my voice shaking. And I don't wanna loose the argument i cannot afford to loose i have to always win, I dont know why but its carved deep in my soul. So id rather not try than try and potentially loose the argument (and my mind at the same time)
I am not afraid of confrontation as i will definitely stick up for myself, but during the confrontation i have anxiety, shakes and heart palpitations. I need to be able to stay physically calm under those circumstances
Same problem , how to overcome i don't know
My cortisol kicks hard
Fright flight reaction.
Anxiety can prevent me from talking in shock 😲
I am not great at dealing with false accusations and judgement it hurts .
I always start assuming the worst
I try to confront when necessary but get a huge adrenaline response! I can feel my legs buckle and my voice tighten. Hate it!
I fear confrontation because i’m scared the person will hurt me verbally or otherwise. I feel like if i’m not liked by someone i’m in danger and I don’t feel strong enough to beat the threat. I also don't want to be to aggressive towards someone who doesn't deserve it.
I feel exactly the same. I freeze in conflicts and it feels like death threat to me...
I think im scared of confrontation because im scared of being disliked but im working on it 🙃
Just be aware of the "word" scared. It's safer to use : I get uncomfortable rather than scared. When you say scared, you are telling your mind you are in "danger" and the fear will be greater. Just a little tip:) keep up with working on it and let me know if you need help
How are you working on it? I would really like some tips on what can i do to overcome this thing
@@rushilllllI learnt that you can never control people's minds and thoughts as a person. Changing yourself to be liked by one group of people will lead you to be disliked by another group. You can never please everybody. People have the freedom to like you or not like you. They are entitled to their freedom. Use your freedom to like yourself ❤
@@alzy188 this is actually very true, and very well put down by you. And makes a lot of sense. Having the freedom to like yourself should be the most important thing. And now that i think about it, if you can’t like yourself, you can’t expect other people to like you too. Thanks alot for this!!!
I was the same
If I was confrontational I was always an enemy
Hahaha be careful who you have to deal wjth when they hate you 😑
Im afraid of confict with my sister because im afraid we will say things that will make us estranged for years. Im afraid well say or do things hard yo recover from. This is especially true with family.
I'm similar, I just don't rilly care if my sister likes me or not, I just know I'm going to have to deal with her for a few more years until one of us move out, probably me, and that from past experiences confrontation if anything might make her worse. Not saying my sister's a bad person, just saying she's very immature, and not a good person.
My fear when u confront someone Rejection , Humiliation , Feeling like im super sensitive that is why i dont confront people who bully me , thinking on what others would think of me
Thank you for making this video the explanation was spot on! It is true that it is all thoughts and belief. I am a youth preacher i fear when i speak, i play this role and i get anxiety with that i dont speak fluently on what i think im trying to learn to articulate my words . Because i always speak at front but i always feel ashamed of myself when i dont speak on what i think.
@johnpatrickpineda7687 i think it takes strength and courage to say and admit all what we feel like you did. Fear of rejection is in our DNA as humans because our mind is tribal. But this can be changed
My struggle with confrontation is the fear of violent retaliation. I had a very verbally abusive step father and anytime i would attempt to stand up for myself he always threatened physical violence. Luckily it never happened but it was always threatened and now thats why im afraid of confrontation. Any suggestions on how to get past that?
I presume you don't live with him anymore? If that is the case, you can start repeating to yourself as your mind is listening: i am safe, and it is safe to reply or confront. Start associating confrontation to self love, to pleasure. I hope this works for you, if not, i can help you in 1 session
@@zeinakreichaty-hypnotherapy unfortunately i do still live with him but im hoping to move out soon. I will give that a shot. Thank you
I never used to fear confrontation or expressing myself but in the last few years the bullies (especially at work) have been vicious. People become so aggressive and vindictive when they’re called out.
Ppl fear it because it’s a level of truth in it - and those who love it only target those who are weaker in speech .
i think i have a confrontation problem because i lack the skills of communication or phrasing. in other words, whenever im in conflict, my brain freezes and i can not come up with answers/arguements and i just lose my ability to speak, my brain freezes and i dont know how to react/speak/act. Whats the fix for this?
Same here😪
Wow, I learned so much, thank you 💓
Glad to hear :)
You are amazing. Thank you 🙏🏻
Happy to help!
Excellent explanation, really enjoyed listening to self reminders and analysis of the 'Why' In various situations that are unhealthy and uncomfortable.
Very reassuring.
Thank you.
I'm terrified of people having bad opinions of me or getting into arguments, I'm a massive people pleaser. I would rather be a recluse than possibly get any negative social interaction, I'm very aloof and quiet because I'm afraid of it.
As humans, rejection is dangerous. Plus, some experiences in the past accentuate this fear. Get in touch if you need help
This video 10/10
Thank you very much! This was super helpful! :)
This was awesome! Thank you so much for this!
This is some powerful stuff 🔥
Thank you!
Interesting
This is a great video and I believe that it is true that the other person is responsible for their own feelings, but that does not mean that you can be rude or hurtful or aggressive in your approach to another person and shrug off your own negative actions by saying that the other person getting angry is their fault, they control their emotions. I think this video missed a step in talking about the accountability for how we approach the confrontation in the first place. It seems to encourage putting all the blame for any outcome on the other party regardless of how the person starting the confrontation approaches it.
Amazing work, I found this extremely enlightening ❤
Thank you👏
You are so beautiful and I love your accent.
Very helpful, thank you.
Great good
And to add to, I would love to be able to tell somebody that them kicking. The back of my seat is not OK and they stop in that be the end of it or I would love to tell somebody that been weaving in and out of traffic and tailgating is unsafe and it’s putting me in harms way for no reason I would love to be able to say that and it just end like that I would love to be able to confront people about stuff they’re doing and they actually fix their actions and that be that without it escalating, but that’s not the case. It’s simply not the case
Very helpful video, thank u!
So glad!
Thank you ❤❤❤❤
Any time! Stay tuned for more!
This was very helpful! Thank you
A good one
Great video!!
Thank you
you are very welcome
Hi Ziena… thank for making this video. I am really struggling to determine what i am truly afraid of.
I thought it may be fear of it becoming physical or fear of rejection/getting backed into a corner metaphorically… but i also struggle when its other people getting into confrontations. Even watching 2 people through a video, I get so uncomfortable and sometimes my anxiety gets so high i have to stop watching or leave/tune out. But it is much worse if i am directly involved. My heart will beat so fast and hard and my whole body goes weak (i think its fight or flight mode).
Is it possible there are multiple fears behind this? Or do you have any helpful input? ❤ ill keep working in identifying the issue
Hello Deborah, i can see you understand a lot when it comes to the nervous system and anxiety. i would invite yo9u to find few minutes of calm, try to go back in your memory to place date event when you were much younger, have you witnessed a fight between your parents for example? what happened, what did you deduce, what were the beliefs you formed? or maybe at school, have you been in a fight, were you so scared that you might have commanded your mind never to go there?
I have the exact same thing 😢
@theodora_pilates get in touch:) let's have a chat...
im wrong
im bad
im weak
not true
not true
not true
I don’t agree with this. I don’t agree with we create the fear out of confrontation. I don’t agree with this because I personally fear confrontation not because I’m scared of it but because I know personally, what happens with confrontation what happens with confrontation is 90% of the time the person being confronted is going to escalate this situation and in my past, they’ve escalated it to physical contact, so my fear is created my fear of what it’s like to confront somebody doing something or saying something that is wrong. We live in a world now people don’t like being held accountable for their actions and confront them for created even bigger issue so let’s talk about this. I would love to sit down with you on a video, call or something to discuss this with me - you some questions about what kind of confrontations have you been in and what was the outcome of those confrontations and what were those situations that you found yourself been confrontations? This is way deeper than what you’re leading on right now, and it’s not just people creating fear of confrontation because their ideas linked to confrontation reality that’s the reality of their world
man same, & as a man it kinda feels disgusting that i’m scared of confrontation because of what might happen, not that i’m scared to fight or anything but like i don’t want it to go there because it’s unnecessary
I agree with you I think if I’m understanding correctly what you’re getting at.
Confrontation is called what it is for a reason, if you confront someone then immediately no matter what the circumstances are one of the two parties has more or less control/power over the other.
When a boss is confronted by a regular employee or some other not as important person, the confrontation ends in the worker finding a new job end of story more times then not.
When confronted on the street because some guy called you a slur or something of the sorts, if you can’t fight you’ve escalated the situation by confronting them and can end very, very badly if they do in fact know how to fight or have a weapon ect.
Confronting people is worlds different from each other depending on the context of what/who you are confronting and why/how. Confrontation is an act of aggression or atleast perceived aggression on the confronted person side, often ending in violence or abuse of power in moments of silly people’s naive moments to think they have a right to confront anyone they feel like whenever something doesn’t go their way. If your boss wronged you as a part time employee and you waltz into the office and confront them, being overly combative you are going to be fired because your not important enough to be confronting your boss like that or even in general depending on how bad of a person they might be. Confronting people is almost never going to end in the confronted person agreeing with you and sympathising your view, only people who are more mature then 90% of humans and who love you are going to do that lol, people who think otherwise don’t live in the real world/workforce and have no understanding how humans deal with criticism/ being confronted by someone who thinks it’s as easy as telling the other person they are 100% in the wrong and needs to stop lmfao what a dumb view.
I'd love to speak to you x
Sure,may i ask you to schedul at your own convenience the call on the link below?
calendly.com/zeinakreichaty/60-min
Knowing all this won't help you one bit. Complex trauma is hell.
I need to practice arguing with people. But its not exactly the best kind of pursuit 😄
thoughts dont control feeligns. free will is a stupid illusion. feelings and thoughts both come from beliefs
exactly but the good news is that beliefs are ours to change. exactly as we reached those beliefs we can reframe them using the power of the subconscious mind
@@zeinakreichaty-hypnotherapy If free will is an illusion then beliefs are not ours to change. there is no self or will. There is only genetics and environment. Now you know how to forgive.
Ka ge😅
confrontation doesnt exist.
and neither do you
or maybe you were beaten as a child and see everyone as a giant demon
i am sorry to hear this. unfortunately we cannot change the past but we definitely can change the interpretation that would suit us better for a calmer more peaceful present and future.