Half the women who think their husband's are cheating when they lie about working late are really just circling around the block dreading pulling into the driveway
Thanks for your comment. My goal here is to help women become more aware of what men won't say. Men have learned not to talk about their emotional needs. If they do speak up, they often get an angry or demeaning response ... for simply admitting that they are human. Case in point: "Poor baby" is just one phrase women use to attack men who express their hurt. I'm happy to speak up for men and intercept the attacks, as I did for more than two decades as a couple's therapist. So this is nothing new. NOTE: At the same time, women also have unmet emotional needs. I'm here for them, too.
I think back on the days when I always took the long way home, because I knew the hell that was waiting for me. I feel so blessed to have gotten out that relationship.
Thanks for joining the conversation. Unfortunately, sometimes leaving is all you can do. Other men stay, and they have reasons for doing that, too. My heart goes out to anyone who is having a hard time in marriage. I've been there myself in years gone by, and it can feel like hell. I wish you all the best.
I've seen this many times in the work place. Men who are the first to arrive and the last to leave. Men who never take holiday and when they do they come in and do overtime. Men who do all the overtime they possibly can. Men who refuse to retire and make any excuse why they can't retire. Why? They don't want to be around their wives/partners.
Yes, I have seen that, too. The sad part … and what motivates me to do what I do … is that far too many women have no idea that their husbands feel that way. Thank you for taking time to comment.
"Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack. I went out for a ride and I never went back. Like a river that don't know where it's flowing, I took a wrong turn and I just kept going." ----- Bruce Springsteen
Thanks for taking time to comment. You are correct: A simple smile only works when honest affection is involved. A smile can never override or erase contempt (disgust), which is highly toxic and, therefore, the biggest predictor of divorce. Women who show contempt for a man - either verbally or nonverbally - won’t get what they want from him. Of course, the same is true when men show contempt for women. Whenever I meet a couple who are in the situation you've described, I always meet with them separately before deciding to work with them as a couple. First, I want to make sure I understand what's happening from the man's perspective. Second, I want to understand what the woman is so angry about. My first goal is to help them de-escalate the intensity of their interactions ... to slow down the freight train that's going full speed ahead ... before it jumps the track. Only then can we explore the possibilities of doing things differently. If either insists their mate is fully at fault, I refer them for individual therapy. Who knows? They could be right. Thanks again for joining the discussion. I wish you all the best.
Domestic Violence is well defined. Abuse often means anything from denial of basic survival needs all the way to “ I’m not happy and I don’t know why so it must be your fault.”
Thanks for taking time to comment. I often use Prepare-Enrich as my initial assessment. What I've found, interestingly enough, is that some mark that they are sometimes abused by their mates, but later define abuse as not getting what they wanted from them. That's why I always ask for clarification ... without the mate present, of course. Even so, there are different forms of abuse, and not everyone experiences all of them. If you're not sure if your situation is abusive, take a look at this free questionnaire. I hope it helps. www.awisewomansguide.com/Domestic-Violence
Dude, I was there and I kept thinking what the heck is her problem??? This went on for like 5 or 6 more years (truth was the 10 years before that all she did was nag and complain constantly). I went about just trying to enjoy life by myself and with the kids. Then I found out she was talking to divorce attorneys. Long story short, she was turned down by 2 or 3 attorneys the rumor is they thought she was crazy /absurd. Before all that, her psychologist wanted to see me. 30 minutes into the session he stopped and had this bewildered look on his face and just said with a surprize "but, but you're negotiable" meaning that I'm easy going not dogmatic on things in general. Áfter years of no sex, she kicked me out of the house threatening me she would call the police because I was emotionally abusing her. So i left under threats of violence from her. Eventually I met a really nice lady. 15 years later still with her. My ex got jealous i guess and used the family court in an áttempt to destroy my relationship with my children. It only worked with my youngest anç sadly she still does not talk to me. Then the courts robbed me via child support and spent time in jail causing me to have a major set back in my business. To this day, i have a hard time trust people. I abhor government and its evil anti-family laws. The law is diabolical. But hey, I guess this is par for course.
Im a 44m and have been single all my life by choice....because I never wanted to end up like said guys...poor guys, if I ever had a wife I wouldn't want to ever go home either.
Thanks for taking time to comment. The issue here is not the mere presence of a wife, but the kind of wife a man chooses. I've dedicated my life to teaching women how to make sense of men so that they choose well. Likewise, I help men make sense of women so they choose well, too. Even then, there will be bumps in the road ... because men and women are different. And that's a good thing! I've often said, "I love helping the 'boy' win back his 'girl.' But mostly I love helping the girl get what she wants ... which isn't nearly as complicated as the boy believes it to be." Just so you know ... I never favor one sex over the other. That would be counterproductive. That means I am not a sexist. And although I love helping women get what they want, I am not a feminist either. I am simply a pragmatist who recognizes and honors the fact that men and women are different by design. I invite you to check out my Quick Start Guides to Understanding the opposite sex. Then let me know what you think. Thanks again for joining the discussion. FREE GUIDE ► www.AWiseWomansGuide.com/men FREE GUIDE ► www.AWiseWomansGuide.com/women
Yes, I am familiar with that pattern. Sometimes women turn to motherhood for the same reasons men turn to their careers: It's where they feel the most successful. It's an unfortunate situation for both people ... and for the kids. Thanks for joining the conversation.
I am reminded of an Andy Capp comic strip. Flo is wishing he was like Ada's husband, pots of overtime he brings home, have you ever considered that? Andy replies that he wishes she'd consider some men work those hours because it's better than going home! Flo thinks, considers that yes, that could be, could be, so she gives him a kiss on his face.
Make eye contact with him and smile ... and then start nagging him for every single failure in your life !!! 😁 It is not that simple, dear, it is a complex of actions and words (and NOT action and NOT words) to make a man feel good. Works the same as for women ...
![SAFEPLANET - ดาวเคราะห์ [ THE PLANET ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/4X1XL3I_k3c/mqdefault.jpg)
![BOWKYLION - วิงวอน (ex-change) [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/cLdnZWDaO-w/mqdefault.jpg)
Half the women who think their husband's are cheating when they lie about working late are really just circling around the block dreading pulling into the driveway
Thanks for your comment. My goal here is to help women become more aware of what men won't say. Men have learned not to talk about their emotional needs. If they do speak up, they often get an angry or demeaning response ... for simply admitting that they are human. Case in point: "Poor baby" is just one phrase women use to attack men who express their hurt. I'm happy to speak up for men and intercept the attacks, as I did for more than two decades as a couple's therapist. So this is nothing new. NOTE: At the same time, women also have unmet emotional needs. I'm here for them, too.
I think back on the days when I always took the long way home, because I knew the hell that was waiting for me. I feel so blessed to have gotten out that relationship.
Thanks for joining the conversation. Unfortunately, sometimes leaving is all you can do. Other men stay, and they have reasons for doing that, too. My heart goes out to anyone who is having a hard time in marriage. I've been there myself in years gone by, and it can feel like hell. I wish you all the best.
It is better to live in the corner of your rooftop,
than with a brawling woman in a house.
Proverbs 25:24
I've seen this many times in the work place.
Men who are the first to arrive and the last to leave.
Men who never take holiday and when they do they come in and do overtime.
Men who do all the overtime they possibly can.
Men who refuse to retire and make any excuse why they can't retire.
Why?
They don't want to be around their wives/partners.
Yes, I have seen that, too. The sad part … and what motivates me to do what I do … is that far too many women have no idea that their husbands feel that way. Thank you for taking time to comment.
"Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack. I went out for a ride and I never went back. Like a river that don't know where it's flowing, I took a wrong turn and I just kept going."
----- Bruce Springsteen
A simple smile is a joke when it is followed by a bunch of nagging and crying, screaming or other nonsense.
Thanks for taking time to comment. You are correct: A simple smile only works when honest affection is involved. A smile can never override or erase contempt (disgust), which is highly toxic and, therefore, the biggest predictor of divorce. Women who show contempt for a man - either verbally or nonverbally - won’t get what they want from him. Of course, the same is true when men show contempt for women.
Whenever I meet a couple who are in the situation you've described, I always meet with them separately before deciding to work with them as a couple. First, I want to make sure I understand what's happening from the man's perspective. Second, I want to understand what the woman is so angry about.
My first goal is to help them de-escalate the intensity of their interactions ... to slow down the freight train that's going full speed ahead ... before it jumps the track. Only then can we explore the possibilities of doing things differently.
If either insists their mate is fully at fault, I refer them for individual therapy. Who knows? They could be right.
Thanks again for joining the discussion. I wish you all the best.
Domestic Violence is well defined. Abuse often means anything from denial of basic survival needs all the way to “ I’m not happy and I don’t know why so it must be your fault.”
Thanks for taking time to comment. I often use Prepare-Enrich as my initial assessment. What I've found, interestingly enough, is that some mark that they are sometimes abused by their mates, but later define abuse as not getting what they wanted from them. That's why I always ask for clarification ... without the mate present, of course. Even so, there are different forms of abuse, and not everyone experiences all of them. If you're not sure if your situation is abusive, take a look at this free questionnaire. I hope it helps. www.awisewomansguide.com/Domestic-Violence
Dude, I was there and I kept thinking what the heck is her problem??? This went on for like 5 or 6 more years (truth was the 10 years before that all she did was nag and complain constantly). I went about just trying to enjoy life by myself and with the kids. Then I found out she was talking to divorce attorneys. Long story short, she was turned down by 2 or 3 attorneys the rumor is they thought she was crazy /absurd. Before all that, her psychologist wanted to see me. 30 minutes into the session he stopped and had this bewildered look on his face and just said with a surprize "but, but you're negotiable" meaning that I'm easy going not dogmatic on things in general. Áfter years of no sex, she kicked me out of the house threatening me she would call the police because I was emotionally abusing her. So i left under threats of violence from her. Eventually I met a really nice lady. 15 years later still with her. My ex got jealous i guess and used the family court in an áttempt to destroy my relationship with my children. It only worked with my youngest anç sadly she still does not talk to me. Then the courts robbed me via child support and spent time in jail causing me to have a major set back in my business. To this day, i have a hard time trust people. I abhor government and its evil anti-family laws. The law is diabolical. But hey, I guess this is par for course.
Men and Women weren't meant to be around eachother.
Single and childless is the key to happiness
Some men have no interest in marriage and family. Sounds like you're one of them, and there's nothing wrong with that. All the best to you.
The only reason I come home late is because after 20 years of marriage my wife turns my stomach. 🤢🤢🤢🤮
Im a 44m and have been single all my life by choice....because I never wanted to end up like said guys...poor guys, if I ever had a wife I wouldn't want to ever go home either.
Thanks for taking time to comment. The issue here is not the mere presence of a wife, but the kind of wife a man chooses. I've dedicated my life to teaching women how to make sense of men so that they choose well. Likewise, I help men make sense of women so they choose well, too. Even then, there will be bumps in the road ... because men and women are different. And that's a good thing!
I've often said, "I love helping the 'boy' win back his 'girl.' But mostly I love helping the girl get what she wants ... which isn't nearly as complicated as the boy believes it to be." Just so you know ... I never favor one sex over the other. That would be counterproductive. That means I am not a sexist. And although I love helping women get what they want, I am not a feminist either. I am simply a pragmatist who recognizes and honors the fact that men and women are different by design.
I invite you to check out my Quick Start Guides to Understanding the opposite sex. Then let me know what you think. Thanks again for joining the discussion.
FREE GUIDE ► www.AWiseWomansGuide.com/men
FREE GUIDE ► www.AWiseWomansGuide.com/women
all i got from this is that capitalism is the source of all our relationship problems
Thanks .
You're welcome!
Living with “Super Mum”.
Trapped.
Yes, I am familiar with that pattern. Sometimes women turn to motherhood for the same reasons men turn to their careers: It's where they feel the most successful. It's an unfortunate situation for both people ... and for the kids. Thanks for joining the conversation.
I am reminded of an Andy Capp comic strip.
Flo is wishing he was like Ada's husband, pots of overtime he brings home, have you ever considered that?
Andy replies that he wishes she'd consider some men work those hours because it's better than going home!
Flo thinks, considers that yes, that could be, could be, so she gives him a kiss on his face.
Thanks for taking time to comment. I haven't read the comics in ages! Great stuff. Is Andy Capp still around?
@@DrDebiSmith Aye, still going strong.
Make eye contact with him and smile ... and then start nagging him for every single failure in your life !!! 😁
It is not that simple, dear, it is a complex of actions and words (and NOT action and NOT words) to make a man feel good. Works the same as for women ...