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Thought they were the best communicators…they’re no different from children except they have breasts.

A very fascinating video, this brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 6 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here , I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

I think you left out the folks who are going to cheat no matter what. I have a saying “cheaters are going to cheat”. I have been in perfect relationships where my partner cheated, the only explanation that I could come up with was narcissism and immaturity. Also had male friends who had great relationships, their wives were literally perfect and yet they still cheated. I noticed all of them had one thing in common, zero conscience. It was like taking out the garbage.

It’s much simpler than that-It’s they don’t care to know. If you can’t say directly what you’re trying to get across, a man is simply going to view it as a waste of time and energy.

F’ em, let women date women

Good men dont stray. End of story.

18 year marriage, 15 years sexless. I don't consider me having sex with other women as cheating. My wife had no interest in sex, we talked about it and she didn't want to do anything. I was fine with that but to me that also meant that part of the marriage contract was terminated by her. She didn't want counseling or ask me any questions about what I wanted. OK. So I used those 15 years to prepare for the coming divorce. I quit my high paying software engineering job and "worked from home" meaning no income. I lived on savings from pre-martial assets (married age 43-45). She worked as a teacher. Being at home all day I sometimes ran into women clearly looking for attention. For example one neighbor walking her dog while I was in front yard working started a conversation. Within a minute she was telling me her husband was basically a coma vegetable and talking about sex. I got the message pretty clear. Then I met some online. Always women my age (50+) who really liked sex a lot but had some sex problem with their husband, a couple had no partner (divorced). By the time divorce same she wanted half my assets of course, half my house (all pre-martial) and she wanted alimony. I explained to her the house was pre-martial so she wasn't entitled and I hadn't worked in 15 years so I would need alimony from her and half her retirement savings and teacher's pension. She went white as it dawned on her yeah, she hadn't heard me talk about working for some specific company. Yeah, she was that interested in my life. Off she went to Google if what I was saying was true and came back very nicely suggesting we each just keep what we had. She actually thought men always paid alimony no matter what. I handled the paperwork and had it final in 91 days. My other relationships didn't change other than the normal comings and goings. I've never told my ex about my other relationships. I don't see it as her business and it might hurt her. At the end she suggested lunch and there suggested we stay friends. Nah. She also asked why I didn't fight her divorce suggestion. I told her "You don't really want to know" and she agreed. Get out as clean as possible.

Once, long, I took what I thought was a hint, and got castigated for it... Never again,You want something, say it...I am NOT a mind reader...

Evidently you lack experience with a narcissist who treats you disrespectfully then expects hugs in return and when you can't deliver because of the wounds, they play the victim and are justified cheating.

It is better to live in the corner of your rooftop, than with a brawling woman in a house. Proverbs 25:24

Firstly, I find cheating to be 100% disgusting, disgraceful and disrespectful. Here's a truth why guys cheat: To conquer, to gain numbers on how many women they can get. I remember back in the day, guys would high five each other and talk about "The Score" meaning how many girls they slept with and the "That a boy" compliments from other guys--No loyalty, just sickening!!!!!!!These guys are the users/players. As far as loyal guys who cheat, 1) They shouldn't but if not being intimate with their wife need to find out why and or move on depending on her answer.

I cheated for essentially one reason: I simply could. not. get. laid. in my own home. For over a decade.

Make eye contact with him and smile ... and then start nagging him for every single failure in your life !!! 😁 It is not that simple, dear, it is a complex of actions and words (and NOT action and NOT words) to make a man feel good. Works the same as for women ...

WRONG.. Women are cheating more than men with high body counts because they are masters in testing and discarding “good men” then cheating with bad men. Stop 🛑 twisting matters ...

Really, when a wife uses sex as a weapon. All bets are off. That's usually the start of the problem. Don't blame us!

First she ignores him emotionally then physically. When she refuses to change or be accountable for her choices, she opens the door for another woman. He is ultimately responsible for his decision to cheat but she helps him make that choice. Be the wife you vowed to be and that he needs and he will have no reason to make a choice.

"Oh, he thinks he's god's gift to women." "He shouldn't make assumptions about women" and the vast number of negatives or rejections that exist when men DO try to act on "hints." There's also the impetus to mistrust "hints" that occur at a basic level. A woman may act or dress in a way that suggests she wishes to be approached, but heaven help you if you're not the one or type she had in mind. So why should I trust she's "hinting" at me with serious intent or not simply seeking validation, attention, entertainment ("wait till I tell my posse about THIS gambit!"), or whatever.

Unmet, outright rejected for years / decades. Forced celibacy is not an act of love or caring. Zero accountability seems to be the accepted norm for Women who think that starving a man for affection and sex will result on a happy relationship

Ohh...I see what you did there. You played into our will-you-be-my-hero instinct. Well played, Ma'am. That would work if young fathers could see the that way.

I ignore anything that may be a hint because if I get it wrong, it could be very bad for me. She could be only playing a joke on me, which is usually the case.

For goodness sakes, don’t give hints!!! Don’t play this stupid manipulative childish mind games. Blooming talk. communication is important….Groan….

"Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack. I went out for a ride and I never went back. Like a river that don't know where it's flowing, I took a wrong turn and I just kept going." ----- Bruce Springsteen

I know this is random but I love your hair cut. Or maybe it's the way it's styled, idk.

Gee i guess we really are different

If men get it wrong we might face serious social and legal consequences. Don't play games.

Sometimes the men just don't care !!!!!!!!

The answer is that we are two different species. Don't talk? No one Knows!

I question the amount of training that counsellors have, as well how they deal with their bias. I was engaged to a single mother, she was living in my house and we were raising her child. Her mother felt I should have no say in the development of the child. Things were getting toxic, my fiancé’s mother suggested we go to counseling, I agreed, thought it would be a good idea. We show up, my fiancé mother explains her version, the counsellor determines that she is correct and that I am the problem. I need to make changes / concessions to make the relationship work. All this without me having said a single word. I got up and left.

Because psychology texts and protocols have been influenced by feminism and women don't take accountability anyway. Thank god men are waking up to this.

@PriestMondo

Because the man is assumed to be at fault.

Modern marriage is hard because women are constantly comparing their husbands do all the dudes they slept with before him, they feel they are better than the husbands and belittle and look down on him, with no way to walk away, she looses all respect and attraction. Eventually going back to the kinds of dudes that piped her good in her 20s and she couldn’t lock down. The word -Husband? Means sucker, clean up man, loser, cuck, beta. Men are walking away from marriage and women altogether, we give up, why be a good man if it’s not rewarded? Not by society and not by family and women, if you wanna know where “all the good men are” were cold, we don’t care anymore, and we give up. No more love, no more compassion, no more empathy, we are done with this role. There are 2 men, those who get sex, those who don’t, husbands are in the “don’t” category and we refuse to be suckers. So we’d rather be the guy who gets it, and those men never settle down. They don’t have to, women want them.

Yeah single men are not getting married because marriage seems miserable

My question is how successful is marriage counseling? When the rubber meets the road, how many marriages stay together after counseling? And how many stay together with improved relations?

A buddy of mine went to marriage counseling with his 3rd wife determined to make it work. The counselor took notes, in a type of shorthand, so he was able to definitively determine what had been said. At a particular session his wife said "during our last session you promised me that you would do "X" and you never did it." The counselor looked over his notes and said "No, you never made such a promise." His wife insisted that he had. My buddy said "That's when I knew that nothing I could do would fix the fact that my wife was just making stuff up in her head."

When did you discover that men have feelings and how did it affect you as a psychologist? I ask this because most of your talking points are from 30 to 40 years ago.

Not sensitive, we are far more aware.

I don't believe anything she says. Nothing

It would be good if women could speak directly instead of vague, hints.

I had a sister (we 15 and 14 yrs old at the time) who had a talent for pushing my buttons (and some guys). When I asked her to stop a few times, she refused. One day it built up to a point of no return, I went ratta tatt tatt on her face and she went down for the count. Later that day when my Father got home from work and heard what happened, he calls me into the bedroom thinking I'm a dead guy, but to my relief he said thanks, he said it was either someone knocks her lights out or if he did it he'd go to jail. Later I told my sister to stop using those button pushing talents at home, What she did outside the home I didn't care, but to do it at home created a hostile atmosphere. She got married in her early 40's and divorced shortly after. I told her as a big brother you can't treat men like crap. 20yrs later, she's still single. (I do talk to her several times a year)

I needed this today ❤

It sometimes has to do more with leadership. It's expected of all bosses who see something that has to be done but who don't have the time to do it themselves, to tell a subordinate "this needs to be done, please do it, and report back Friday". If the boss doesn't, that's bad leadership. At the same time many bosses want to hire only "self-going" employees, that are full-fledged from day one and don't need to be given orders. A perfect example of "having the cake and eating it". Bad leadership. cheers! / CS (This time, I hope I'm in the right forum with this post.)

Women always frame it as a failing of men. The accurate question is ´why don´t women communicate clearly?´ Women destroy relationships. Women fail, and we need to point at this.

because women are STUPID! And unable to communicate! Al they do is Yak-yak-yak, and then they complain about dumb men that do not read their minds. Solving this is easy in just 2 steps: 1. Make your mind! 2. Express in WORDS what you desire! Obviously, such task is impossible for 99.9999% of the modern women. My 2 cents.

I was with someone decades ago who was oblivious to how different I was to other women and he was *expecting* me to be a hinter despite having been in my company for years, and it should have been obvious that was not my style. I am a direct person. Back then I leaned a little to being meek and submissive but was nonetheless still direct. Until his own behavior forced me to choke back my transparent and honest communication style. I had zero desire to get married at that time, and was strongly under the impression that after 4 years we were growing apart and moving in very divergent directions (when earlier we'd had more compatible ideas of our futures). He was talking about moving to a big city to continue education and I was not silent about the topic. I encouraged him to follow his dreams. And stated I was not going to go there with him. He decided to stay where we were and go to grad school. He changed career trajectory and asked me how I'd like to host dinner parties for powerful men. I was agape that he even had to ask, and told him in very clear terms how disinterested I was in doing it, and, that he wouldn't like the conversations I'd start with *those* men he was referring to either. Nonetheless ..... and I found out much later, against the advice of a mutual friend who was one of his best friends, he proposed to me after staging a party under false pretenses with over 20 people we knew at a friend's house. I was the only person who was unaware. Until the second he reached for his pocket and the weird off kilter thing I had not been able to identify for hours finally came into clarity and horror washed over me. It went against every cell of my being but I couldn't humiliate him or put all those people in an awkward af situation. A group of girls saw through my shocked facade though, even though he didn't, and they mercifully swooped in and then dragged me out onto the deck under the pretense of fawning over the "happy bride-to-be" and over admiring the ring. The ways girls are stereotypically expected to behave. It worked, I could breathe out there. And while the girls carried on, creating space for me, I had the ability to silently (in my mind) try to come to terms with the predicament I was in, and to gain composure to finish the night, recognizing that later (another day and time, *privately),* I could sort out how to address the matter. As painlessly for others as was possible. After he finally would listen to me (you won't believe how long that took), and would let me ask him what I needed to understand, he told me he was certain I had dropped a hint that I wanted him to propose. [I'm convinced now that he wanted to get married for a handful of his own reasons and merely thought I was suitable -or something. Hell if I know.] He told me flat out, after I had to work really hard to get an honest and *simple* straight forward conversation, that he took a 100% random insignificant chat comment I'd made (as we walked past a Champagne display), as a dropped hint about getting married. Makes *no* sense. I'd wondered aloud if the alcohol could possibly be so much better than others that it'd be worth the price difference. I was literally expressing skepticism and mild curiosity, about if you spent that kind of money more than once, whether it would be merely due to status symbol dynamics, or, if it was instead that the quality and experience was so much better that the value derived was purely in quality of the product itself. And he didn't hear that. He heard, she wants to marry me.

If a man has a caring wife, he will tell her everything. If she isn`t, he`ll keep it to himself.

We want communication not stupid childless games they play if you want to play games go get with your girlfriends but you women need to communicate

That last line was killer, well said.

Why they should? i won't be more easly if the womans instead of having a childish behavior and throw hints, say the things straightfoward like a growing adults? why the mans have to bother trying to understand their hints? they make the things more hard that the necesary.

Most of the time their behaviors aren't even hints. They have womanly feelings about something , they think men are aware of these feelings, they vaguely reference these feelings, and when men don't respond the right way, the women think the man is being rude. Women behave like they're trying to get you to guess Rumpelstiltskin's name without saying it outright. They'll do anything and everything except be direct, because it seems to cause them unfathomable pain and agony. Stop measuring my love for you based on how well I can guess or predict what you want before you say it. _That is not real._