What in your past do you think has influenced the person you are today? If you’d like to meet other like minded people in person, why not come to our next Conference in the USA on 23rd-25th March 2018 goo.gl/QUrzVp
Me too. But this video is also encouraging as it concludes you can become aware of your behavior, so your painfull past doesn’t affect your present and future. If you want to learn more I suggest reading “The Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem”
I understand.....Same here. But let's keep this in mind: " We are made by what would break us". So indeed we can be very compassionate, interesting and generous people if we work on our past and use that sorrow to help us understand ourselves and others.
1. Michael Jordan once said that when he plays basketball he sees patterns. So he sees where every player stands in that moment and where the ball is and then he intuitively recognises a pattern he had seen before, then he senses where the ball will go and reacts accordingly and gets it! I thought this was so fascinating and may be we could have this in mind as a metaphor when we look back at our lives: So if we could recognise the " repetitive patterns" in our past, ( especially around relationships ) we could surely gain more power over our future. Let's say you had an abusive parent and therefore you always fall for the same kind of abusive partner, because, as sad as it sounds, he makes you feel " at home". Then, just by recognising this, you can be more "aware" next time, and keep away from that type. Psychologist William James said: "My experience is what I agree to attend to. Only those things which I notice shape my mind". Looking at your past properly, gives you the clues about what you should attend to in the future. So the more " aware" you are of what had been done to you back then, the more you can free yourself from the curse of the past and take better, healthier decisions. What Kirkegaard said makes a lot of sense: "Life can only be understood backwards , but it must be lived forwards" 2. And Eric Kandel says: " We are what we remember" . At this point, especially those of us who had a very troubled childhood, do need help. Because even if you remember every situation of abuse years later, you still don't know what to do with all that. Wittgenstein says: " All I know is what I have words for". But we don't always have the words to describe our sorrow and pain. Sometimes it takes the wisdom and compassion of another person, to make sense of your own story. He may be the one to find the right words to describe your suffering. This is such a wise proverb: " You can't read the label from inside the jar". That's why from all the psychotherapy books I have read, I am convinced that a good shrink can change the course of your life. If you have doubts about it I highly recommend you the books by Irvin Yalom and Gabriel Rolon. They simply tell you the stories of their patients and in which ways they could help them.It is always very touching to see how much one man can help another... 3. There is an incredible, unforgettable " Radiolab" podcast about the ways we remember our lives. The episode is called " Memory and Forgetting". 4. " On Being With Krista Tippett" podcast with the trauma expert Bessel Van Der Kolk as guest is also full of valuable insights. The episode is called " How Trauma Lodges in the Body". 5. Meditation helps enormously. What we need the most on earth is clarity of mind and compassion. Because as they say: " We don't see the world as it is, but we see it as we are". So if you wish to start meditating I highly recommend you a lecture from Yale University which is on youtube. Just search for: " Yale, Human Emotions, Mindfulness II " The professor there recommends the following guided meditation podcast which you can find on Itunes for free: " UCLA Hammer Meditation". Thank you for this very valuable lesson!
Lua Veli I just wanted you to know that I have been following all your incredible and thought provoking comments under the school of life videos and I wanted to thank you for sharing your thoughts and recommendations. Please keep on giving comments they DO matter to some of us :)
Hello Giolin! Thank you so much for your beatiful words. It means a lot to me. You know, there is this poem I love by Ritsos, and there he says: Άλλη χαρά δεν είναι πιο μεγάλη απ’ τη χαρά που δίνεις. Να το θυμάσαι, κοριτσάκι. Posting a comment is like putting a message in a bottle and leaving in into the sea...You always hope that someone may find something helpful in it. That's why I was very happy to read your lovely words. Nice to meet you. Φιλάκια :- )
Yes, of course. But it's more about the formative years when you are hyper impressionable. In those years the imprint can create a blueprint that directs and shapes your life and you can spend a lifetime to undo those imprints.
My past influences my present so much I often lose myself in hours of relieving the past instead of doing something. It mostly happens after I wake up, following a realistic dream. Because of that I don't even know if what I think happened in the past really happened or was it just another dream...
You are not alone Chiradori. I myself am living in a limbo for past 8 months now. Anxiety is too heavy on conscience and takes a toll on physical health.
I love your work. It has helped through a really tough time. I feel like I have grown up more once I have started watching you than ever before. Thank you for the great work.
cloudyreader1 I would have to say the same! This channel is amazing. I’ve started my own where I talk about similar things and I’m trying to grow it, check me out if you get the chance & Peace To You...
My 20s were a ride specially because I had a protected childhood. I didn't have the tools to cope with anything really. I was overtly diplomatic because of parents that fought constantly and an underachiever because my father was too ambitious and wanted me to be more. They were great parents, but they failed to realize pretending everything was okay forever and just pushing me to be like them didn't work
Our perception is not always reality....and sometimes...it is. Everything is subjective to personal experience and trying to understand another is paramount.
Fits well with an essay I'm currently trying to write on Good Will. It doesn't however go enough in detail to how sensitive we as people are to our environment. Someone who behaves badly isn't a bad person, they are most likely in unfortunate circumstances of high stress / anxiety, and are overwhelmed by their environmental and historical pressure. Combining meditation and self analysis does help me a little with dealing with the stress and allow me to formulate strategies to change my environment or my own attitude.
Vane Fal, Hi, thanks for the response, through I'm not sure I understood it (I'm mentally disabled). Does my comment appear to be too negative on the view of this video? If so I would like to apologise. My intention was to build on the importance of looking at our past, to understand our present patterns, as a means to inspire people towards the next step. The past is only one of a few steps to gain insight to our behaviors. The next step I've discovered is to challenge (analyse, research, familiarise, experiment, reshape) our environment, to be able to overcome historical trauma hijacking our brain in the present. For example, I could tell you that I'm an idiot, because of my genetics in tandem with a unsupported upbringing beneficial to someone with intense ADHD. But does that knowledge really help you or me? I don't think that is good enough. Instead, I challenge my environment. Because I have problems with my attention, and impulsive behavior, I let the people around me know, so they have a chance to prepare and point out if I do something wrong. Next I track what external triggers caused me to flip out, in the hopes of discovering/engineering a way to prevent similar bad behavior in the future. Finally I work on changing my nature. I read books, exercise, investigate ways of overcoming mental health problems, hunt for like minded or positive people, try out new courses, eat healthy and give myself time to recover after all that stress. The only curious side effect I'm aware off is that people don't believe me when I tell them I'm an Idiot. It bugs me that I have to explain my personal definition of an idiot every time. I wear the title mindfully, and use it because I know I'm currently not good enough, and I aspire to become better. And as to what "good enough" is, I believe being able to support myself, my family and contribute positively to society would be it. But I'm just biased that way. ;)
Everything happens for a reason you just haven't them yet and leave your life to fate and laughed at your mistakes the second it happens it's all in the way we react refusing to suffer anymore
Before life, we had the luck not to exist; now we exist, and it is this particle of existence, hence of misfortune, which dreads death. So it's the constant fear of death, that makes an escape impossible and the inherent misery of existence, which makes living impossible.
Yes, but I need the money for it, so I can buy myself free from the daily torturous grind of the salary slavery and create my own structure. I hate it and suffer, when I get forced into an externally imposed structure, even if it's imposed by monks or some other organization. Strangely, if you suffered enough and had every negative and positive experience (even in a spiritual way) you realize, it's money (which translates directly into free time), which contains the last spark of hope.
My past has made some parts of my present life so difficult. I wish I could wipe the slate clean and be happy and carefree again. I wish the video could give me advice on overcoming these issues.
Find yourself a good intensive short term dynamic therapist. It is proving to be extremely effective at undoing childhood trauma. I am very grateful to having found this therapy, for my own growth and for helping clients in their therapy. The book "living like you mean it" by Ron Frederick is a good intro to Istdp. I wish I had found this therapy 30 years ago.
I had a difficult childhood and adolescence, made lots of mistakes, struggled with addictions etc.I got into recovery and did quite well for 12 years. After a very destructive toxic relationship ended over 5 years ago I relapsed and have a criminal record that prevents me getting work. To say I have regrets is a huge understatement.Thanks for sharing this video.
My childhood was idyllic, my parents were madly in love with eavh other and all I can remember was music and laughter. I wish it were the case for everyone really.
Wow this really made me think about how much the past has influenced me.... I am very obsessed with the past and everything and everyone in it but the test near the end actually made me realise how... Dark everything is in my head... It feels as though i just about hate or get annoyed by everything but this video actually made me think of WHY that is rather than "That is just how it is"
What I don't understand is why so many people seem to reject this idea in relationship (not just denial but outright rejection that their current behavior could be influenced by the past--my ex seemed to believe he rose up out of the mud) and seem unable to or refuse to take responsibility for these projections. Partners who get this, who try to own their own baggage, and who have the past of their partners projected onto them are made out to be demented for seeing what the other can't see. Even if you avoid words like projection or anything you think might make a partner feel defensive, they can refuse any responsibility for their actions and also engage in the blame game. I know examining the past can be scary, but the path to your heart gets easier the more you make your way there. That said, if someone wants to live with the delusion that they're current behavior toward their partner and others is not influenced by their childhood and find a partner who will engage in the delusion with them, that's fine by me. I simply want to ensure I don't ever end up in a relationship again where my partner sees our interactions as win lose and score keeps.
Past is always crucial nothing is bad about it.. It brings in the flavour of life and we all have different stories.. It would have been boring if all our parents were similar.. We need to accept what comes our way, past present and future are merely our interpretation..
It might also be interesting considering not just our childhood but our life in general. At the begging of the video, it claims that it's only in the latest pshycological research that we have come to understand that our reactions don't always come from the present stimulus. Aristotle talked about habits and virtues, and how our free choices influence how we perceive reality and therefore react. Our passions are influenced by our whole life choices, not just by childhood. It is well proved that childhood experiences influence a lot, but I would say that also the ones we suffer as teenagers, and as adults. We can always rebuild those reactions working, as Aristotle said, towards the formation of virtues which then help us to have better reactions!
In high school, I moved to a new place with better education. A lot of our curriculum was based off of the socratic method and I would have no idea how to respond and often humiliate myself among my peers. I got laughed at a lot and felt stupid and misunderstood. I developed a generalized anxiety bc of this and it still affects me sometimes when it comes to talking to new people in a group setting.
Have a weird life and maybe your dreams will be more mundane. Weird is a relative concept anyway so maybe try controlling your dreams so they pan out the way you "want". www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/dreaming-overview#1
The interesting thing is that it is so easy to see other people's projections, but it is almost impossible. to see our own. We are essentially blind to what is really going on with us.
This is very enlightening but trying to see what happened is very difficult. Recently I was talking about my childhood and my body felt kind of ashamed, scared, less than, always wanting to be accepted but never able to be a part unless I could prove my worth. This never came I was lonely and hurt becoming angry not being able to find peace.
A truly brilliant point in the video. Coming from someone who was abused as a child and had a horrible experience with peers growing up, the content behind this video is spot on. They left out a few parts though. Like how I try to see the good in people and end up being treated like shit. It really is incredibly hard to trust people in america. Im growing to hate american culture, especially dating culture, in many ways.
I've carried my punitive and aggressive father with me everywhere. It's the worst when I take him into work; I'm always afraid my boss will yell at me.
If you don't know your past, you can't foresee your future. You will be doomed to repeat your history. It would seem to make sense to use what you've learned from bad experiences to hold as lessons learned in case you would ever have to deal with a specific unpleasant circumstance again. Therefore you will change certain behaviors and patterns to avoid a repeat of past bad situations.
Every single concentration and meditation technique you will encounter will lead u to the same place ..THE CROWN CHAKRA ..NEW THOUGHT ..YOGA ..ZEN ..FOLLOWING YOURE BREATH ....MANTRA ..ANYTHING..EVENTUALLY WILL LEAD YOU TO THE CROWN CHAKRA ..THE TIMELESS NOW ..THE ETERNAL NOW ..THE DIVINE CENTER ..OR WHATEVER U WANT TO CALL IT
It's clearly exact. Even when we talk about history of the world, it's not wrong. Why many white people don't like the black people? Because the black were the slaves of the white. Why many Western don't like the Eastern? Because Western is more developping than the Eastern. And of course, my Vietnamese don't feel comfortable when we talk about the Chinese because in history of my country, the Chinese invaded Vietnam so much. Generally, we can make the different present, but the past influences very much the present :0
Hoàng Kim Việt TRUE!!! I am also vietnamese and I used to be criticized by americans because we had the Vietnam War and they thought my family as the “enemy”. It’s dumb, but that’s just how the world is. #NOCRITICIZING
U go SOL.. y’all are so Badass! Best so far for me. Piercing and precise. I can only wish to cut through the flotsam and and get to the root. I’m enlightened and emboldened. Thank you
Even if we try to comprehend the nature of our past events, it seems unlikely that our diverted thought process would easily be oriented to a normal and unbiased perception.
Family Constellations is not talk therapy. Trauma hides in a non-verbal part of the brain, that's why regular therapy is not often effective. FC is different.
I feel stagnant because of my childhood. I've never had a healthy relationship due to being molested at 13, lack ambition because I had no guidance, filled with self doubt because of having no support or encouragement for what talents I possessed. I always feel judged. When I die, I will have contributed nothing to the world.
I’ve never left such a comment but yours moved me. I hope you are doing better now. Hope you didn’t give up on your talents, the world needs you to express them !
I don't really sure anymore if any of your statement is acceptable. Maybe before, now half righ and half wrong. We can't change the past, yeah I know and it's really painful to accept.. But we can change the future, Yeah, I know that too.. Only hardest thing to accept.. It's not about self-doubt, but merely another trouble is waiting for a people like me who was once made a broken trust to the one I love most.. Now I can feel Resentment, unsatisfied and grudge in the air choking me like poison. I do not ask for this, this is the powerful gift I received after I able to forgive myself.... "To Change My Future"
I love the content but the new narration is lacking in conviction and interest. It puts me to sleep. I know Alain can’t do all the videos but I feel like the message is being undermined by the monotonous reading of the content. I feel like TH-cam needs to implement an increase speed option like on podcasts.
Trying to understand it doesnt work,just as learning about insanity won't give you a healthy mind. Only going beyond it on a deeper level can u free yourself from past.
I think i have found one. I am anxious around approaching a girl for a date or just to be romantically involved with because when I was younger and that one broke up with me made me feel betrayed. I get my anxious feeling when trying to get out from not wanting to feel betrayed again so I am very cautious and nervous.
FYI: The microscope was backwards in that picture of the woman in front of the microscope. The part holding the eyepiece goes away from the person looking into the microscope. Don't worry, we all had to learn that in our beginning biology classes.
What in your past do you think has influenced the person you are today? If you’d like to meet other like minded people in person, why not come to our next Conference in the USA on 23rd-25th March 2018 goo.gl/QUrzVp
Catholic, single gender schools make you a worse person.
Thx for the vids❤️
Im used to Alan's voice 😂
Great video as always... What software do you use to make your videos?
could you talk even slower?
It's painful to hear because I had a terrible childhood and I still feel it today.
Plinious true that man
Me too. But this video is also encouraging as it concludes you can become aware of your behavior, so your painfull past doesn’t affect your present and future. If you want to learn more I suggest reading “The Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem”
I understand.....Same here. But let's keep this in mind:
" We are made by what would break us". So indeed we can be very compassionate, interesting and generous people if we work on our past and use that sorrow to help us understand ourselves and others.
xrcrx ftfghjg one expression: easy to say...
Same
1. Michael Jordan once said that when he plays basketball he sees patterns. So he sees where every player stands in that moment and where the ball is and then he intuitively recognises a pattern he had seen before, then he senses where the ball will go and reacts accordingly and gets it! I thought this was so fascinating and may be we could have this in mind as a metaphor when we look back at our lives:
So if we could recognise the " repetitive patterns" in our past, ( especially around relationships ) we could surely gain more power over our future. Let's say you had an abusive parent and therefore you always fall for the same kind of abusive partner, because, as sad as it sounds, he makes you feel " at home". Then, just by recognising this, you can be more "aware" next time, and keep away from that type.
Psychologist William James said:
"My experience is what I agree to attend to. Only those things which I notice shape my mind".
Looking at your past properly, gives you the clues about what you should attend to in the future. So the more " aware" you are of what had been done to you back then, the more you can free yourself from the curse of the past and take better, healthier decisions.
What Kirkegaard said makes a lot of sense:
"Life can only be understood backwards , but it must be lived forwards"
2. And Eric Kandel says:
" We are what we remember" .
At this point, especially those of us who had a very troubled childhood, do need help.
Because even if you remember every situation of abuse years later, you still don't know what to do with all that.
Wittgenstein says:
" All I know is what I have words for".
But we don't always have the words to describe our sorrow and pain.
Sometimes it takes the wisdom and compassion of another person, to make sense of your own story. He may be the one to find the right words to describe your suffering.
This is such a wise proverb:
" You can't read the label from inside the jar".
That's why from all the psychotherapy books I have read, I am convinced that a good shrink can change the course of your life.
If you have doubts about it I highly recommend you the books by Irvin Yalom and Gabriel Rolon. They simply tell you the stories of their patients and in which ways they could help them.It is always very touching to see how much one man can help another...
3. There is an incredible, unforgettable " Radiolab" podcast about the ways we remember our lives. The episode is called " Memory and Forgetting".
4. " On Being With Krista Tippett" podcast with the trauma expert Bessel Van Der Kolk as guest is also full of valuable insights. The episode is called " How Trauma Lodges in the Body".
5. Meditation helps enormously. What we need the most on earth is clarity of mind and compassion. Because as they say:
" We don't see the world as it is, but we see it as we are".
So if you wish to start meditating I highly recommend you a lecture from Yale University which is on youtube. Just search for:
" Yale, Human Emotions, Mindfulness II "
The professor there recommends the following guided meditation podcast which you can find on Itunes for free:
" UCLA Hammer Meditation".
Thank you for this very valuable lesson!
Lua Veli I just wanted you to know that I have been following all your incredible and thought provoking comments under the school of life videos and I wanted to thank you for sharing your thoughts and recommendations. Please keep on giving comments they DO matter to some of us :)
Hello Giolin! Thank you so much for your beatiful words. It means a lot to me. You know, there is this poem I love by Ritsos, and there he says:
Άλλη χαρά δεν είναι πιο μεγάλη
απ’ τη χαρά που δίνεις.
Να το θυμάσαι, κοριτσάκι.
Posting a comment is like putting a message in a bottle and leaving in into the sea...You always hope that someone may find something helpful in it. That's why I was very happy to read your lovely words.
Nice to meet you. Φιλάκια :- )
I absolutely agree with Giolin. So grateful for the wisdom and empathy in your comments Lua Veli!
I love this comment. Thanks for sharing the wisdom
@@shubham2516 Hello there! You are very welcome. Thanks a lot for your time
So, our present influences the future.
BinauralMind - Experimental, Relaxing Music if u get traumatic event, then YES
Actually, our past influences our present; both influence our future...
Also in the past as well, such as your job employment reputation from the past.
Now I know why I get an erection when an older man looks at my penis in a urinal
Yes, of course. But it's more about the formative years when you are hyper impressionable. In those years the imprint can create a blueprint that directs and shapes your life and you can spend a lifetime to undo those imprints.
My past influences my present so much I often lose myself in hours of relieving the past instead of doing something. It mostly happens after I wake up, following a realistic dream. Because of that I don't even know if what I think happened in the past really happened or was it just another dream...
Chiradori same
I do this at night, and can spend hours re-living things. It's a symptom of my anxiety :(
You are not alone Chiradori.
I myself am living in a limbo for past 8 months now.
Anxiety is too heavy on conscience and takes a toll on physical health.
I understand you....every 3/4 days I either live in my thoughts or come crashing down to reality.
Wow this is relatable
I love your work. It has helped through a really tough time. I feel like I have grown up more once I have started watching you than ever before. Thank you for the great work.
cloudyreader1 I would have to say the same! This channel is amazing. I’ve started my own where I talk about similar things and I’m trying to grow it, check me out if you get the chance & Peace To You...
Don"t limit our impacting experiences to childhood; the 20's and beyond can be very inpactful, especially with a protected childhood.
My 20s were a ride specially because I had a protected childhood. I didn't have the tools to cope with anything really. I was overtly diplomatic because of parents that fought constantly and an underachiever because my father was too ambitious and wanted me to be more. They were great parents, but they failed to realize pretending everything was okay forever and just pushing me to be like them didn't work
The voiceover and animation of this video was so soothing!
steff
I think the animation sucks
steff true, I watch this just for the voice
I prefer the guy voiceover, the voice were so smooth and deeper
I also prefer Alain, he's the trade mark of SOL
His speech patterns are gratingly predictable from video to video.
Our perception is not always reality....and sometimes...it is. Everything is subjective to personal experience and trying to understand another is paramount.
Fits well with an essay I'm currently trying to write on Good Will. It doesn't however go enough in detail to how sensitive we as people are to our environment. Someone who behaves badly isn't a bad person, they are most likely in unfortunate circumstances of high stress / anxiety, and are overwhelmed by their environmental and historical pressure.
Combining meditation and self analysis does help me a little with dealing with the stress and allow me to formulate strategies to change my environment or my own attitude.
Vane Fal, Hi, thanks for the response, through I'm not sure I understood it (I'm mentally disabled).
Does my comment appear to be too negative on the view of this video?
If so I would like to apologise.
My intention was to build on the importance of looking at our past, to understand our present patterns, as a means to inspire people towards the next step.
The past is only one of a few steps to gain insight to our behaviors.
The next step I've discovered is to challenge (analyse, research, familiarise, experiment, reshape) our environment, to be able to overcome historical trauma hijacking our brain in the present.
For example, I could tell you that I'm an idiot, because of my genetics in tandem with a unsupported upbringing beneficial to someone with intense ADHD. But does that knowledge really help you or me?
I don't think that is good enough.
Instead, I challenge my environment. Because I have problems with my attention, and impulsive behavior, I let the people around me know, so they have a chance to prepare and point out if I do something wrong.
Next I track what external triggers caused me to flip out, in the hopes of discovering/engineering a way to prevent similar bad behavior in the future.
Finally I work on changing my nature. I read books, exercise, investigate ways of overcoming mental health problems, hunt for like minded or positive people, try out new courses, eat healthy and give myself time to recover after all that stress.
The only curious side effect I'm aware off is that people don't believe me when I tell them I'm an Idiot.
It bugs me that I have to explain my personal definition of an idiot every time.
I wear the title mindfully, and use it because I know I'm currently not good enough, and I aspire to become better.
And as to what "good enough" is, I believe being able to support myself, my family and contribute positively to society would be it.
But I'm just biased that way. ;)
Everything happens for a reason you just haven't them yet and leave your life to fate and laughed at your mistakes the second it happens it's all in the way we react refusing to suffer anymore
But we can’t let our past ruin our present.
Who cares? Life is an ongoing ruin itself. To live is to lose ground.
@macheifach so why you still living then?
Before life, we had the luck not to exist; now we exist, and it is this particle of existence, hence of misfortune, which dreads death. So it's the constant fear of death, that makes an escape impossible and the inherent misery of existence, which makes living impossible.
@macheifach Why dont you be a monk, leave all desires aside
Yes, but I need the money for it, so I can buy myself free from the daily torturous grind of the salary slavery and create my own structure. I hate it and suffer, when I get forced into an externally imposed structure, even if it's imposed by monks or some other organization.
Strangely, if you suffered enough and had every negative and positive experience (even in a spiritual way) you realize, it's money (which translates directly into free time), which contains the last spark of hope.
My past has made some parts of my present life so difficult. I wish I could wipe the slate clean and be happy and carefree again. I wish the video could give me advice on overcoming these issues.
Find yourself a good intensive short term dynamic therapist. It is proving to be extremely effective at undoing childhood trauma. I am very grateful to having found this therapy, for my own growth and for helping clients in their therapy. The book "living like you mean it" by Ron Frederick is a good intro to Istdp. I wish I had found this therapy 30 years ago.
may day lmao as if that’s the only issue
I had a difficult childhood and adolescence, made lots of mistakes, struggled with addictions etc.I got into recovery and did quite well for 12 years. After a very destructive toxic relationship ended over 5 years ago I relapsed and have a criminal record that prevents me getting work.
To say I have regrets is a huge understatement.Thanks for sharing this video.
I hope you find happiness in the future.
So often your videos move me to tears with epiphanies and revelations about myself.
Thanks(?)
the same here
Our past is our present since we only live a mere 70 years of age. This is why we should try to ALWAYS do good
rough childhood makes you very doubtfull about everything
My childhood was idyllic, my parents were madly in love with eavh other and all I can remember was music and laughter. I wish it were the case for everyone really.
Everything is BRAND NEW ALL THE TIME!!
Clever you hah
There is no thought there ...only perception ..only harmony ...only the absolute ..it is beyond concious communication of thought ..
These videos should be shown to people from 15 years old daily instead of/along with going to school
Jinty Mcginty PREACH
This lady’s voice is so wonderful!! I’d love to hear her do a soft-spoken or whispered ASMR vid!!
She is good, but the guy voiceover were more deeper and smooth
For ASMR though id prefer hers, hence my comment. But yes I agree about the guys voice.
This was wonderful
*"YOU Can't Start The NEXT Chapter of Your LIFE if You keep RE-READING the LAST ONE"*
play at 1.25 speed, thank me later.
Zied Masmoudi thanks
The Fuzz who the fuck asked?
Zied Masmoudi
Thanks man. I was about to close the vid, i hate slow talkers
I speed things up to about 200x. If you need things to be slower, it means your mind is fuzzy.
Zied Masmoudi tnx!!
Wow this really made me think about how much the past has influenced me.... I am very obsessed with the past and everything and everyone in it but the test near the end actually made me realise how... Dark everything is in my head... It feels as though i just about hate or get annoyed by everything but this video actually made me think of WHY that is rather than "That is just how it is"
Let the past die. Kill it if you have to. That's the only way to become who you're meant to be.
Good will and mind can handle dark past ..
I didn't suffer from any childhood traumas, but I'm still fucked up.
What I don't understand is why so many people seem to reject this idea in relationship (not just denial but outright rejection that their current behavior could be influenced by the past--my ex seemed to believe he rose up out of the mud) and seem unable to or refuse to take responsibility for these projections. Partners who get this, who try to own their own baggage, and who have the past of their partners projected onto them are made out to be demented for seeing what the other can't see. Even if you avoid words like projection or anything you think might make a partner feel defensive, they can refuse any responsibility for their actions and also engage in the blame game. I know examining the past can be scary, but the path to your heart gets easier the more you make your way there. That said, if someone wants to live with the delusion that they're current behavior toward their partner and others is not influenced by their childhood and find a partner who will engage in the delusion with them, that's fine by me. I simply want to ensure I don't ever end up in a relationship again where my partner sees our interactions as win lose and score keeps.
Past is always crucial nothing is bad about it.. It brings in the flavour of life and we all have different stories.. It would have been boring if all our parents were similar.. We need to accept what comes our way, past present and future are merely our interpretation..
Remember this one thing people ...A BELIEF IS ONLY A THOUGHT I KEEP THINKING!!!
this video made me cry deep inside
I love how you included the 2 bears high fiving rorshac painting.
The depressing nature and tone of many of these are always so beautiful..
It might also be interesting considering not just our childhood but our life in general. At the begging of the video, it claims that it's only in the latest pshycological research that we have come to understand that our reactions don't always come from the present stimulus. Aristotle talked about habits and virtues, and how our free choices influence how we perceive reality and therefore react. Our passions are influenced by our whole life choices, not just by childhood. It is well proved that childhood experiences influence a lot, but I would say that also the ones we suffer as teenagers, and as adults. We can always rebuild those reactions working, as Aristotle said, towards the formation of virtues which then help us to have better reactions!
In high school, I moved to a new place with better education. A lot of our curriculum was based off of the socratic method and I would have no idea how to respond and often humiliate myself among my peers. I got laughed at a lot and felt stupid and misunderstood. I developed a generalized anxiety bc of this and it still affects me sometimes when it comes to talking to new people in a group setting.
i want to know why we have such weird dreams and how we may change that?
Have a weird life and maybe your dreams will be more mundane. Weird is a relative concept anyway so maybe try controlling your dreams so they pan out the way you "want".
www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/dreaming-overview#1
life is never a school while a school is in life itself where life begins and end and we got to choose what we will do between life and death...
You cant stop thought ..you cant not thonk a thought it is futile ...you can only RISE ABOVE IT!!!
The interesting thing is that it is so easy to see other people's projections, but it is almost impossible. to see our own. We are essentially blind to what is really going on with us.
I think these past influences are indelible.
This is very enlightening but trying to see what happened is very difficult. Recently I was talking about my childhood and my body felt kind of ashamed, scared, less than, always wanting to be accepted but never able to be a part unless I could prove my worth. This never came I was lonely and hurt becoming angry not being able to find peace.
Beyond duality is where u want to be!!!Remember the point break??WHY BE A SERVANT TO THE LAW WHEN YOU CAN BE ITS MASTER ??
A truly brilliant point in the video. Coming from someone who was abused as a child and had a horrible experience with peers growing up, the content behind this video is spot on. They left out a few parts though. Like how I try to see the good in people and end up being treated like shit. It really is incredibly hard to trust people in america. Im growing to hate american culture, especially dating culture, in many ways.
Hey!!! Don’t worry, everything gonna be alright. Smile and Have a nice day ☺️☺️🤗
I've carried my punitive and aggressive father with me everywhere. It's the worst when I take him into work; I'm always afraid my boss will yell at me.
If you don't know your past, you can't foresee your future. You will be doomed to repeat your history. It would seem to make sense to use what you've learned from bad experiences to hold as lessons learned in case you would ever have to deal with a specific unpleasant circumstance again. Therefore you will change certain behaviors and patterns to avoid a repeat of past bad situations.
I needed this video; this is what I turn to THE SCHOOL OF LIFE for. Thank you!
Wishing peace
Thank you for this, I use this knowledge in my everyday thinking
As a psychology major tat is a fun test. The pictures are interesting and the interpretation after is just sparks a curiosity 😍
Every single concentration and meditation technique you will encounter will lead u to the same place ..THE CROWN CHAKRA ..NEW THOUGHT ..YOGA ..ZEN ..FOLLOWING YOURE BREATH ....MANTRA ..ANYTHING..EVENTUALLY WILL LEAD YOU TO THE CROWN CHAKRA ..THE TIMELESS NOW ..THE ETERNAL NOW ..THE DIVINE CENTER ..OR WHATEVER U WANT TO CALL IT
You can recharge yourselves by eating AA Batteries.
Ima need a 9 volt
History would definitely be a great instance for this video.
One of your best videos so far! Thank you and keep up the good work! You are helping a lot of people!
It's clearly exact. Even when we talk about history of the world, it's not wrong. Why many white people don't like the black people? Because the black were the slaves of the white. Why many Western don't like the Eastern? Because Western is more developping than the Eastern. And of course, my Vietnamese don't feel comfortable when we talk about the Chinese because in history of my country, the Chinese invaded Vietnam so much. Generally, we can make the different present, but the past influences very much the present :0
Hoàng Kim Việt good english subscribed
people instinctively fear those who look different. we can't help it
Hoàng Kim Việt TRUE!!! I am also vietnamese and I used to be criticized by americans because we had the Vietnam War and they thought my family as the “enemy”. It’s dumb, but that’s just how the world is.
#NOCRITICIZING
Hoàng Kim Việt the only way the past influences the present is in our own minds if we let it !😁
Chan Nguyen everything is brand new all the time ..we just have to allow it ..😁
I think consult with a psychologist will bring some change if anyone has some sort of unusual issues with their past.
Como eu amo esse Canal!.
Eu tambem :- )
Everything is neurological. I don’t know why people separate neurological and psychological.
Thank you so much! Owe you!
U go SOL.. y’all are so Badass! Best so far for me. Piercing and precise. I can only wish to cut through the flotsam and and get to the root. I’m enlightened and emboldened. Thank you
I would have liked hearing some suggestions on what we could do after each example.
After watching Jiren’s backstory , this video came up...
Coincidences are interesting .
Even if we try to comprehend the nature of our past events, it seems unlikely that our diverted thought process would easily be oriented to a normal and unbiased perception.
I know the things in my past ..I just don't know how to get rid of them...and I'm tired
Try finding a Family Constellations facilitator in your area.
Linda Comeau thanks for your advice. The thing is that I can't even speak of them and I prefer it. I will get help, just waiting for the right time.
Family Constellations is not talk therapy. Trauma hides in a non-verbal part of the brain, that's why regular therapy is not often effective. FC is different.
Proven sadly we all have a uneven start, very complex.
Why doesn't this channel have a podcast on Spotify?
I really love her voice
So true. This is why I love this channel do much.
please get someone who doesnt sound like they're just reading something after waking up and also starving
We will have nothing but constant criticism. That’s just how the world is.
- D:
To me, this vedio was published at a perfect moment of day, so thank you very much. I did the Hermann Rorschack test by the way :D
bring back the old version please
Alain De Botton's voice is more soothing :| :/ I like her voice but his voice is incomparable. Nice video btw 😍
Yes, yes.... Both of them are very good of course. But we got so used to Alain's voice, when we don't hear from him, we miss him :- )
I feel stagnant because of my childhood. I've never had a healthy relationship due to being molested at 13, lack ambition because I had no guidance, filled with self doubt because of having no support or encouragement for what talents I possessed. I always feel judged. When I die, I will have contributed nothing to the world.
I’ve never left such a comment but yours moved me. I hope you are doing better now. Hope you didn’t give up on your talents, the world needs you to express them !
Yes this is currently relevant
I wish I'd watched this 10 mins ago before having a massive argument with a relative based on my perception of an action as having malicious intent.
Regardless of your past believe in better
Haven't the rorschach tests been discredited?
almost all psychological test are discredited and unreliable . Because psychology is pseudoscience
What an amazing voice.
Where is Alain?
Wonderful video (info and graphics)!
I don't really sure anymore if any of your statement is acceptable. Maybe before, now half righ and half wrong.
We can't change the past, yeah I know and it's really painful to accept..
But we can change the future,
Yeah, I know that too.. Only hardest thing to accept..
It's not about self-doubt, but merely another trouble is waiting for a people like me who was once made a broken trust to the one I love most..
Now I can feel Resentment, unsatisfied and grudge in the air choking me like poison.
I do not ask for this, this is the powerful gift I received after I able to forgive myself....
"To Change My Future"
Great video. I've been studying projection. And the channel.
Groundbreaking achievement here.
Where is Alan?
Although this video delves slightly into the realm of disproven psychology, the overall message is a good one...
Bueatifully engaging and thoughtfully designed.
Hello
hey
Luka Niemela yooo
Good!
Past affects our present ,try to forget unpleasant past to leave in present .
I love the content but the new narration is lacking in conviction and interest. It puts me to sleep. I know Alain can’t do all the videos but I feel like the message is being undermined by the monotonous reading of the content. I feel like TH-cam needs to implement an increase speed option like on podcasts.
Change the playback speed to 1.25
For non-nattive speakers it is good
Christine Hirtescu it's on the desktop version
I think tsol should look into the volume of the videos. I often find volume of these videos dimmed down most of the time. don't know the reason.
I really liked this one. Thank you!
Trying to understand it doesnt work,just as learning about insanity won't give you a healthy mind. Only going beyond it on a deeper level can u free yourself from past.
Not logically but with ur emotions then u can dissolve the past and be free of it
What happened to the other voice?
Does conference fee include hotel or BnB or is this separate?
I think i have found one. I am anxious around approaching a girl for a date or just to be romantically involved with because when I was younger and that one broke up with me made me feel betrayed. I get my anxious feeling when trying to get out from not wanting to feel betrayed again so I am very cautious and nervous.
FYI: The microscope was backwards in that picture of the woman in front of the microscope. The part holding the eyepiece goes away from the person looking into the microscope. Don't worry, we all had to learn that in our beginning biology classes.
Bring back Alan
Or not
oh, yes
Mmm Mmm yes, I too miss his voice and was loathsome to continue with the post. Yawn.
I am a phoenix baby, I am new each day :D