Dealing with Anger
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ส.ค. 2024
- I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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I tried to do that "angry-coloring" thing.. but after a few seconds I realized, that I was just acting... as always. I wasn't really feeling it. So I tried to think of things that make me angry... and started crying... becaus I can't feel anger. The only thing I'm capable of feeling is sadness and that horrible pain... then I felt bad and too stupid to do such a simple task... so I cried for about 20 minutes, feeling ashamed and sad... so I quit. oh man...
sghkl I kind of have some reservations , about feeling anger. I think it might help a friend of mine, but I'm afraid her rage is too overwhelming. It sounds like someone really hurt you. :( Sometimes family. friend , ex relationships, they hurt really bad. So often it's not friends or a relationship, it's family, I have seen friends very hurt by their families, their confidence destroyed.
Just seeing this post now years after you made it so I don't know if this will do you any good, but if the coloring thing didn't work (Seems tame to me too) Try getting a heavy bag and beat the shit out of it or use a tennis racket on a pillow. You probably need more exertion to get rid of it.
OMG! Awesome! My friend has to see your video. Her parents have always been very controlling, and she has eaten to bury the anger for years. She can't express it, because, she has no way of getting by that hot tempered mother of hers, or her critical father. They are so controlling, that they still treat her like a teenager, they insisted she stay with them. When she got the idea of moving out on her own, her mother said " you don't have any money!!" < abusive. The reason she doesn't have money,.is because she was ridiculed so much throughout her lifeShe is 300 pounds, and still eating to bury rage. She told me " I'm not a person, I never had any rights, I wasn't allowed to grow up, not allowed to have an opinion"
this really helps. thank you Kati!
I have done my anger sheet and also a happy one trust me the happy one took longer to do!!! I will be taking it along to my psychology appointmnt. I also feel so much better for doing this because I now have something to look at it is not all in my head anymore, (well it is but it doesn't need to be because it is on paper) the happy one in particular I will be putting on my wall at home just as a reminder for when I am not feeing to good I can look and think @ times I am HAPPY!!! thanks Kati xxx
😔 i dont have an eating disorder, but this got me crying.
I have essentially a terminal illness (yeah, I have like 5-8yrs left at best.)
I was admitted easter AM with sepsis and just got home.
I am PISSED.
I am mad that I am dying.
I am mad there is nothing but "supportive measures" left
I am f-ng ANGRY that my 3yr old said "when you were in hospital, it was a long time. It makes me sad."
That I have to prime him (somehow) slowly so that when I pass it doesnt rip his "mind/self" to pieces.
That I dont have funds for "childcare" when hospitalized, so he bounces around, and I try to delay going.
That I cannot stop this.
That I may likely die much sooner.
-----
I have tried screaming. Throwing things. What therapy I "was allotted".
Still mad.
Maybe its scared/mad?
---
But even though this video wasnt made for my situation, it allowed me 8 minutes to cry.
I will take that.
I'm so sorry...
I can't express how grateful I am for this tips and thoughts. Thank you very very much for your advices. I can mention another tip, that helps me always, my therapist taught me - you need to write about your day using 3 columns, and fill them in that order 1) what happened (facts) 2) my thoughts about it (that will be the biggest one) 3) what do I feel about it (this one is always very hard for me, naming my emotion (it must a basic words - anger, fier, joy etc.) is hard for me, I'm an over thinking type. You can also add a %(then you can analyze what causes what). But this thing helped me to recover from awful panic attacks, it could be hours and days in circle depersonalization-PA-crying-sleeping..
Thanks for this video and others.
I'm working on my language and also my life with your videos .
I learned that it's ok to have anger ,but we should handle it .
It's ok to be angry about people's actions that annoy us, but anger shouldn't be the answer to their actions.
Maybe we should just find a healthy way for telling them about our feelings .
Yeah it's a long way ,but in the right way we can enjoy our journey 👍
my mom and I argue a lot. There are always so many misunderstandings between us. I always try to explain what I'm thinking, feeling, why I said that, what I really meant... but whatever I'm saying (or even not saying, because she thinks she knows what I want to say soon) she always hears "it's your fault". And that's not true and I told her so many times I wouldn't blame her. Anyways..she starts screaming, never wants to hear my explanations etc.., tells me to stop talking, leaves the room and shuts the door or tells me to leave the room,.. So the anger is still there and this day is pobably going to end up in one of those where I'm binging and purging :(
+mariella Sabrina From the sound of it, this might be a useful resource for you: www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists . What your mom is doing is definitely not OK.
Thank you so much! Really helpfull! Xx can you make a video about "anger at myself with no reason"?
I love going on roller coasters cause you don't look weird when you scream. Even though Im not scared of many coasters anymore it still feels good to scream. Oh how I miss the summer / being younger and not having a job in summer that makes it impossible to get to amusement park.
I'd been angry journaling throughout my teens and twenties, then I stopped and felt so much worse overall. Just couldn't find time for it anymore… Now I'm back at it, slowly getting to feel things again.
I tried coloring and maybe I could've been more angry, but writing the words on it actually gave me some insight into my anger
I might bounce a basketball soon
And I will check out your other videos on anger!
Wow I cannot remember the last time i screamed! Thank you so much..i'm a recovered anorexic but in recovery developed complications and now have a problem with purging. I have alot of unexpressed anger and although I do alot of art I always do it really carefully...using a red crayon and scribbling felt so good. Its like I'm allowed to be a child again for a bit (i'm 23). Thank you so much. If you need any help with any of your projects/research let me know.
I tried some of these ideas and they really seemed to work :) I liked the writing idea and the coloring the paper red. I also did some 'art' to express how I felt about my eating disorder I just opened Paint on my computer and channeled my frustration through that.
Hi Kati, I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 roughly 2 years ago. Prior to my diagnosis, I’d get really angry at simple things and lash out. Now, with medication, I still get angry but I can manage it.
My therapist informed me that anger is a choice. And that the people I get angry at do not deserve it. This made me feel like a horrible person. That just the thought of being angry is terrible.
Is anger really a choice for bipolars or for any other person? Because I do not believe that we chose to be angry. We simply are. However, how we deal with our anger is our choice. We can choose to lash out, be argumentative, be difficult or we can walk out, simmer down first before dealing with the issue at hand.
Hope you can enlighten me. Thank you.
Love it! Great idea with the collage thing... but I have two concerns:
1) I probably would end up putting ED pictures on it, of skinny models which make me mad.. not sure if that wouldnt be contraproductive
2) I think I have so much anger inside me, that I think I would have to use a piece of wood instead of paper. lol
Then what helped me in the past was playing tennis. I would then just hit the ball super hard against the fence!!! IT helped. But I am not playing anymore.
This sort of helped because sometimes I would either break things or call people swear words
Hey Kati your videos are soooo helpfull. I was wondering, after you let the anger out how do you go about forgiving the people???
I don't usually feel anger (well any emotion in general) until I get very emotional and 'explode' for a few minutes for something minor then revert back to feeling nothing. The people around me stay upset but I just go back to my emotionlessness.
If I were to practice the suggested activities when I feel that I should feel anger, will I start feeling the emotion at the correct times?
*I hope that makes some sense
@KatiMorton i didnt het the satisfaction from the art that i hoped which is weird cus i love drawing but i think i lost objectivity cus i was just saying its ugly, its not worth calling it an anger art. its a weird thing i have were i always try to make it perfect or at lest be proud of my work. i will try the ball exercise
I don't want to do that :-( I used to be angry all the time as a teenager and I always turned it towards the wrong people: I got angry at my teachers and was constantly arguing with them, instead of being mad at my older sister and my bullying, evil classmates and my toxic friend and the world in general, well I kinda was angry at the world in general....
Now, I'm scared of feeling that anger again and I'm scared that if I let myself feel it, it will be too overwhelming. Which is why I don't want to do this task. Maybe in a really safe environment or something...
Hey kati, this video is amazing I will be using these tips as it gets sooo tiring holding all of this anger and pain inside and the Idea of colouring in the pages and having different colours for different emotions is a fantastic idea as I do also struggle with the shame and self hatred, guilt and alot of fear. did you get my message about sill not being able to download the workbook if you would please get back to me about this I would be very greatful thanks again Jess xoxoxoxoxo
I'm always angry, at me at people around me at my job or what ever. I want to believe you are my help and I appriciate that. I'm going to try the angry art!,
Any tips how not to get upset/ anger easily I get mad and upset easily but not meaning too I don’t hurt people I just throw objects sometimes and feel bad after I calm down some
Confronting means getting hurt more!
I really think you have such beautiful features! ❤️❤️♥️♥️💖💖
I'm going to try this. I just recently cut those in my life that I found toxic or people that have done awful things to me. I didn't say everything I wish I could have. I have this idea that it isnt okay to be angry. I should forgive,forget, and move on. A lot of the times...I cant. Is it okay? I'm always worried that if I allow myself to get angry it'll never end. That Ill be angry, and hurt forever. Could you give more tips on how to deal with anger?Even communicate our angry in a healthy way?
yes, going for a run, might help too, but for me, it always gets me back to overexercising etc.... so not a good idea. What i do sometimes, when I am driving and I get mad a people who drive like snails in front of me... and u know they just add the missing bit to my anger... I turn the music on and just scream as loud as I can. for only 3/4 seconds... like when i am on the highway... it always relieves my tension inside. And nobody can hear me, so nobody thinks i am crazy... except for me :D
You said that people can get angry at people that they know because they have not expressed existing issues before hand so when things come up they have a huge angry reaction. Can somebody also have a similar reaction with somebody new if for instance they are projecting a negative expression that they had with somebody else onto that new person?
Kati, that's the third video from 2012 I've watched in a row... and do you know you spoke way more slowly back then? Lol :D Still awesome vids, tho!
This is off topic, but I don't know why people think I am going to turn into a social butterfly if they just say "hi" to me. I've been isolated for most of my 64 year old life. I'm not going to turn into a social butterfly overnight. If I have done wrong to anyone I will make it up to them, but I never have socialized, and that has become my way of life.
I had a wonderful day yesterday. Mind you I'm going through tooth pain and had the dentist yesterday. All was well until I had a short lasting conversation with my epomate who is always so angry. He's an older man who has been through his fair share of trauma. Im on a benzo therapy at rhe moment and hate to admit it but it's very much due to his behaviors towards me. Is there any advice you can offer me on how to stop internalizing these feelings and deal with them in a healthy way? Other than getting it out through the music and throwing a ball around cause I've tried things like that. I'm afraid to go to the source of the issue. However, I have a feeling that if I approach this a certain way I can help him without it being obvious.
i get angry all the time and i punch things but i am getting better at controling it
Why do your thumbnails say LMFT when this video was years before your independent licensure?
How did you know I had an eating disorder >_>
I'm great at being angry. It is society's problem that they aren't ok with listening to it. There are a lot of fucking problems with the world.