This is sooo on point. I have realised after 20years of suffering anorexia that when I’m in a relationship I’m able to eat abit as I feel loved and excepted…. I have been single and isolated most my life . Thank you for this amazing video 😢
I have a perfect memory of joy and freedom, when I was about 4, I remember it so clearly... my dad and I were sledding down our icy street in the middle of winter. I was so happy. And now I'm crying because I realized I've never felt that way since. (I'm 22 now).
So interesting…my memory also has to do with and icy winter scene. I walked outside on a perfect winter evening while it was snowing and I just looked up and breathed it all in. ❄️
this made me cry so hard.. because I realized that I'm always just pretending to be joyful and to live a life of freedom... I'm 22 years old... I've been living on my own for over 5 years and still... I'm not free at all! I'm so controlled by my addictions and my stupid behavior.
You don't know how many times I have come back to this video during my anorexia recovery. Explaining how someone can hunger for feelings made me want to recover. You put words to my longing, and made me aware that I deserve to be happy again, and feel the joy that overcoming the pain brings.
I keep rewatching this because my best friend has an eating disorder and I want to slowly let her feel herself again I want to make sure I can understand her at the fullest
I'm crying like a baby! This was so hard to watch! I never really felt any real love from my parents like I was supposed to have! And never was I praised enough! I guess my binge-eating comes from that!
Goddybag4Lee- Be the person for others, that you wished your parents could be for you. I bet you are excellent in school, sports or art. I know you are a blessing in this world. I just know it.
If this video doesn’t make your heart sing please put it on your calendar to watch a month from now. I’ve being trying to understand my eating disorder for over 30 years no luck. I have listen to Kati many times. Nothing clicked my heart didn’t sing. Understanding her intellectually is different than hearing the click in your head. Today I finally get why I have my disorder. It clicked. Nothing can be forced. Don’t give up. Have patience. When conditions are in alignment YOU WILL KNOW the truth
loved this, my question is, if I need be cuddled or hugged or any physical contact or just company and things that I need other people to do and I have nobody to do them how then do I meet those needs? I can buy myself a gallon of ice cream but I can't cuddle myself or have a two way conversation with myself.
1:39 the last time my ex told me he loved me and that I would be his wife someday soon. He changed his mind and I have ached every single day since. Every day is a struggle and all I can control in my life now is what I eat. I want to cry, I still dream about him.
I felt free in a very memorable dream I had years ago. It was such an absolutely beautiful dream with me somehow gliding down a beautiful river not in a boat but just gliding standing up and the river was sparkling and I was shouting “I am free I am free”. I woke up feeling so wonderful! ❤
Great point: I've never really noticed a separation, but thinking back, there usually is a point where I have to choose. I see it now. That really helps. Thank you!
Hey Kati, First of all, thank you so much for what you are providing through youtube. Your videos and genuine concern are providing so much needed support. This is my favorite video out of the videos of yours I have watched so far. I am struggling with overeating and the compensating with exercise, and restricting. I am aware that most of my overeating is connected to stress, worry, anger, sadness, or loneliness rooted in past feelings/situations or feelings/circumstances I wish were present.
Not right now; i don't feel anything, just my disease makes me realize that i'm alive. But sometimes i imagine to be happy: have a perfect life, surround me by people who loves me , be carefree and don't think about "what i'm gonna eat today? but than i have to purge, but i don't want to purge today, so i have not to eat".. Thank you so much for your support xx
I really like what you've said. How do we use the discovery of these issues to remedy our dependence on control of food? I know the connection exists, but I can't see it. How do I use my understanding of hurt or anger in the past to help me?
What if you're needs are childish? If they're needs that you wanted to be met by your parents a long time ago and never were? I feel like I'm too old now to ever get that. What should I do then?
Hi, thank you this is really helpful. I like yours "what the heck" its lovely :) (english is not my birth language so I didn't know what that means, it sounds so nice) I started making a journal its so great I dont know why was I so much against it. I love yours videos and advices.
Hey Kati, another very informative video!!! That has really got me thinking I don't remember a time where I felt truely joyful or free.I am looking. though this is another one that is going to take time. Ohh don't get me started on love. I will work through this though because I want to feel these things. I am taking small steps but in the right direction. which is the important thing thank you Kati for your on going support!!!!
This video was amazing! Really made me think.. oh and almost have a breakdown haha! But it was good. You should do more video's like these. I think it's important we get to the root cause of our eating discords.You're amazing! xo
the problem is I don't even know when was the last time I felt joy freedom and love and I don't think I need any of them, It just went dark... but I do shed a tear and Idontknow why
great video. I'v found out that I need the feeling of importance, being productive... when I see I'm not doing anything as important as my potential I binge and then purge.
I´m watching this for the third time and even when I didn´t understand it much in the beginning it starts to make sense, but I´m afraid it will bring my anxiety back?
Yes, that makes so much sense. Thank you for your speedy reply :) I'm very glad I found your channel too! I'm seeing a counselor right now; I think I'll express things I've started to consider after watching this video. One more question to ask you that I'll also ask my counselor. Sometimes in the moment of a binge it's really hard to stop and think: I should color, or call a friend. I feel fast paced. How do I keep myself accountable if Im embarrassed to share my problems with friends/family?
Well this is what i think i need, love, care loving attention, freedom attention, shared activities like coffee with a friend, laughs, hugs and cuddles, SOMEONE TO SPEAK UP FOR ME, safety in someone's arms that isnt family. I have a note under my list: I can have these needs without shame because KATI MORTON SAYS SO! she says they are HEALTHY and GOOD to have! SHUT UP ED VOICE!
I think this is true for me. I over ate my whole life to fill a void. At my core I always thought I’m underserving of joy and affection. I’m a musician and I was rejected from a gig because I didn’t really look the part. I was too fat. I lost weight after that. It was actually healthy weight loss. It took me two years and I lost 85lbs and I never restricted and I never over exercised. I mostly walked and did a little weight lifting. Then I was with a girl for two years who didn’t provide me with affection and when I expressed feelings she said that she was the man and I act like a woman. Men have feelings too and it hurt to be denied. I would like to be cuddled too. After the break up atypical anorexia assumed control. I restricted, over excised
How can I find a therapist like you? I’m at my lowest and out of all my doctors and counselors etc your videos listening to how you explain has hit the nail on the head for the first time in my life in so many different areas of my mental health. PleAse. Any advice. I’m sinking in my own here.
Hey, How are you? So I cannot for the life of me remember where you put this about ideas for videos, but I was thinking about how EDs affect your education, even when your attempting to recover. you can use me as an example, crap GCSEs crap alevels (overdosed), 2 degrees started and dropped out, on my third and its quarter past 3 am have an essay due today 400 more words to write and all I can think about about is purging. Yay for ED.
dream? the closest to that i gget is hallucinating and thats no good. i dont have an eating disorder i have a depresion suicidal problem i came across your videos one low night and i though i could put most of your tips to suit my bagage. as a personal rule everytime im thinking of doing something stupid or worst i ty to do what little i remember about your vids or watch your vids and when i watch them i end up feeling sad of how i cant make your tips work on me thats my problem!
Omgggg I’ve never felt so uncomfortable in my life watching a video of why I have an eating disorder. Like I had to force myself not to cry when you were asking these questions on hunger for feelings. I’m just hungry for less bullshit and more good shit in my life if that doesn’t sound to forward. Maybe more of “jasmine wanna hang out today?” Instead of “jasmine can you take my shift at work today?”
I try to watch this video and I can't go 1 minute without crying. I know what you say has reasoning so I try to take all the aadvice but I get nowhere better. Its sad I can't think of the last time I was happy or hungry for my life. Even now I'm crying as I write this and its so sad how I don't have hunger for my life
so long ago but not the same age unable to connect because so many years have passed and I can't relate to me at 13 years old because I am who I today am through my ED
Good find. Another song on this theme is an unreleased tearjerker called A Sadness, by the lead singer of Mother Mother, which was recorded from a lockdown livestream and uploaded to TH-cam by fan, channel name onkisa. Thank God they thought to record it, cos there aren't many ED songs out there, and this one has become my favourite
Ohh I have a question, don't know if you can help but worth a try. Is it normal to like not remember your childhood? I am 15, but I don't really remember anything from like age 5-10. Thanks! -Kylie-
Iv got kids I don't have any FREEDOM!!!!! Especially right now because the schools are still closed after the Christmas holidays because of flu outbreaks. Last time I felt free was when my youngest got into nursery and I was able to run up the mountain with the dog for hours. But now it's winter and cold and snowy outside and the kids are off school and I'm stuck in the house with them fighting with each other and driving me crazy and iv relapsed quite badly.....
" I should not have to need.....____" hold up.... that voice....thats part of the ed? . oh.my.god. every time I tell myself I don't have an ed... I'm just crazy I should just snap out of it or someday I will just snap out of it..... I find something like this. *facepalm* Its really weird how somedays I can admit it and somedays I just tell myself I'm crazy and its not real(like today) Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks that way. :/
Why do your thumbnails say LMFT when this video was years before your independent licensure? Why do you call yourself a "specialist" while you were still getting your education and training?
Thanks for your generous efforts throughout these years passed by, thank you for spreading realistic info on mental health. love you Hossein from Iran🙏♥️🤍🌹
This is sooo on point. I have realised after 20years of suffering anorexia that when I’m in a relationship I’m able to eat abit as I feel loved and excepted…. I have been single and isolated most my life . Thank you for this amazing video 😢
I have a perfect memory of joy and freedom, when I was about 4, I remember it so clearly... my dad and I were sledding down our icy street in the middle of winter. I was so happy. And now I'm crying because I realized I've never felt that way since. (I'm 22 now).
So interesting…my memory also has to do with and icy winter scene. I walked outside on a perfect winter evening while it was snowing and I just looked up and breathed it all in. ❄️
this made me cry so hard.. because I realized that I'm always just pretending to be joyful and to live a life of freedom... I'm 22 years old... I've been living on my own for over 5 years and still... I'm not free at all! I'm so controlled by my addictions and my stupid behavior.
Kernschrott.Productions- How are you doing now (5 years later)?
I live with my sister. Sometimes I wish I didn't, so I don't have to hide a the time
You don't know how many times I have come back to this video during my anorexia recovery. Explaining how someone can hunger for feelings made me want to recover. You put words to my longing, and made me aware that I deserve to be happy again, and feel the joy that overcoming the pain brings.
I keep rewatching this because my best friend has an eating disorder and I want to slowly let her feel herself again I want to make sure I can understand her at the fullest
as a person who struggles with acceptance and support from my friends, this comment made me cry. your friend is rlly lucky to have u :’)
Wow...this actually made me cry - very powerful and resounding video. Thank you xx
I'm crying like a baby! This was so hard to watch! I never really felt any real love from my parents like I was supposed to have! And never was I praised enough! I guess my binge-eating comes from that!
Goddybag4Lee- Be the person for others, that you wished your parents could be for you. I bet you are excellent in school, sports or art. I know you are a blessing in this world. I just know it.
I've never heard anything like this before, and it made my brain unwind a little bit. It felt good to think about stuff like that in a healing way
I just discovered your channel today. I've had an eating disorder since I was 8 (I'm 22 now) and this video made me cry uncontrollably
If this video doesn’t make your heart sing please put it on your calendar to watch a month from now. I’ve being trying to understand my eating disorder for over 30 years no luck. I have listen to Kati many times. Nothing clicked my heart didn’t sing. Understanding her intellectually is different than hearing the click in your head. Today I finally get why I have my disorder. It clicked. Nothing can be forced. Don’t give up. Have patience. When conditions are in alignment YOU WILL KNOW the truth
loved this, my question is, if I need be cuddled or hugged or any physical contact or just company and things that I need other people to do and I have nobody to do them how then do I meet those needs? I can buy myself a gallon of ice cream but I can't cuddle myself or have a two way conversation with myself.
I feel like I need things that I can't get anyways. and it only makes me sad and depressed.
1:39 the last time my ex told me he loved me and that I would be his wife someday soon.
He changed his mind and I have ached every single day since.
Every day is a struggle and all I can control in my life now is what I eat. I want to cry, I still dream about him.
Wow, I can’t remember when I was ever happy or free, damn😔
I felt free in a very memorable dream I had years ago. It was such an absolutely beautiful dream with me somehow gliding down a beautiful river not in a boat but just gliding standing up and the river was sparkling and I was shouting “I am free I am free”. I woke up feeling so wonderful! ❤
Great point: I've never really noticed a separation, but thinking back, there usually is a point where I have to choose. I see it now. That really helps. Thank you!
I'm slowly making progress on recovery so this has helped me. Thanks Kati!
Kat gish-Good job!
Wow…I started bawling as soon as you mentioned the feeling in love childish feeling it all hit so much i didn’t expect it thank you so much
Hey Kati,
First of all, thank you so much for what you are providing through youtube. Your videos and genuine concern are providing so much needed support. This is my favorite video out of the videos of yours I have watched so far. I am struggling with overeating and the compensating with exercise, and restricting. I am aware that most of my overeating is connected to stress, worry, anger, sadness, or loneliness rooted in past feelings/situations or feelings/circumstances I wish were present.
Since before I was 12, don't remember it, but 12 is the year that everything started going downhill
Not right now; i don't feel anything, just my disease makes me realize that i'm alive. But sometimes i imagine to be happy: have a perfect life, surround me by people who loves me , be carefree and don't think about "what i'm gonna eat today? but than i have to purge, but i don't want to purge today, so i have not to eat"..
Thank you so much for your support xx
I really like what you've said. How do we use the discovery of these issues to remedy our dependence on control of food? I know the connection exists, but I can't see it. How do I use my understanding of hurt or anger in the past to help me?
I almost cry with this video... I am gonna think over it, thank you
What if you're needs are childish? If they're needs that you wanted to be met by your parents a long time ago and never were? I feel like I'm too old now to ever get that. What should I do then?
jennyjellylelly-How are you doing today, 6 years later?
Wow, this one was powerful. I feel ashamed for admitting I want love.
RoninNM- Never fell ashamed for wanting love. That's called being human.
Hi, thank you this is really helpful.
I like yours "what the heck" its lovely :) (english is not my birth language so I didn't know what that means, it sounds so nice)
I started making a journal its so great I dont know why was I so much against it. I love yours videos and advices.
this hit the nail on the head for me-what am i really hungry for? what am i stuffing food in my face for instead of pursuing in my life? thx katie:)
You're brilliant. Needed this, so thank you
Hey Kati, another very informative video!!! That has really got me thinking I don't remember a time where I felt truely joyful or free.I am looking. though this is another one that is going to take time. Ohh don't get me started on love. I will work through this though because I want to feel these things. I am taking small steps but in the right direction. which is the important thing thank you Kati for your on going support!!!!
This video was amazing! Really made me think.. oh and almost have a breakdown haha! But it was good. You should do more video's like these. I think it's important we get to the root cause of our eating discords.You're amazing! xo
the problem is I don't even know when was the last time I felt joy freedom and love and I don't think I need any of them, It just went dark... but I do shed a tear and Idontknow why
I really need this video thank you so much Kati.
😊
Rahul Mawar-Keep going girl! You got this!
What if you cannot think of anything, nothing. No memories of anything where you felt free, or a 'favorite childhood memory'?
great video. I'v found out that I need the feeling of importance, being productive... when I see I'm not doing anything as important as my potential I binge and then purge.
can you do a video about anorexia and perfectionism? i love all your ed videos
I´m watching this for the third time and even when I didn´t understand it much in the beginning it starts to make sense, but I´m afraid it will bring my anxiety back?
Charlotte Blanche-How are you today?
Kati, this is a great video! You are very gifted. Thank you for all you do.
Yes, that makes so much sense. Thank you for your speedy reply :) I'm very glad I found your channel too! I'm seeing a counselor right now; I think I'll express things I've started to consider after watching this video. One more question to ask you that I'll also ask my counselor.
Sometimes in the moment of a binge it's really hard to stop and think: I should color, or call a friend. I feel fast paced. How do I keep myself accountable if Im embarrassed to share my problems with friends/family?
this hit me hard. thank you kati.. i needed this.
I love your videos. They always make me feel a little bit better. Thank you!
-Kylie-
Well this is what i think i need, love, care loving attention, freedom attention, shared activities like coffee with a friend, laughs, hugs and cuddles, SOMEONE TO SPEAK UP FOR ME, safety in someone's arms that isnt family.
I have a note under my list: I can have these needs without shame because KATI MORTON SAYS SO! she says they are HEALTHY and GOOD to have! SHUT UP ED VOICE!
Oh my god, I can't thank you enough for this video, it' SO enlightening!
I think this is true for me. I over ate my whole life to fill a void. At my core I always thought I’m underserving of joy and affection. I’m a musician and I was rejected from a gig because I didn’t really look the part. I was too fat. I lost weight after that. It was actually healthy weight loss. It took me two years and I lost 85lbs and I never restricted and I never over exercised. I mostly walked and did a little weight lifting. Then I was with a girl for two years who didn’t provide me with affection and when I expressed feelings she said that she was the man and I act like a woman. Men have feelings too and it hurt to be denied. I would like to be cuddled too. After the break up atypical anorexia assumed control. I restricted, over excised
Thanks so much. Glad I'm not crazy or something(: I will ask and let you know how it goes for sure!
thank you!
How can I find a therapist like you? I’m at my lowest and out of all my doctors and counselors etc your videos listening to how you explain has hit the nail on the head for the first time in my life in so many different areas of my mental health. PleAse. Any advice. I’m sinking in my own here.
Hey, How are you? So I cannot for the life of me remember where you put this about ideas for videos, but I was thinking about how EDs affect your education, even when your attempting to recover. you can use me as an example, crap GCSEs crap alevels (overdosed), 2 degrees started and dropped out, on my third and its quarter past 3 am have an essay due today 400 more words to write and all I can think about about is purging. Yay for ED.
dream? the closest to that i gget is hallucinating and thats no good. i dont have an eating disorder i have a depresion suicidal problem i came across your videos one low night and i though i could put most of your tips to suit my bagage. as a personal rule everytime im thinking of doing something stupid or worst i ty to do what little i remember about your vids or watch your vids and when i watch them i end up feeling sad of how i cant make your tips work on me thats my problem!
Thank you for your videos, i think are so helpfull :)) Anyway, i think i just need to be happy.. and loved; but i always feel depressed and sad. xx
Crying, too
You changed my life🩵🩵🩵
Omgggg I’ve never felt so uncomfortable in my life watching a video of why I have an eating disorder. Like I had to force myself not to cry when you were asking these questions on hunger for feelings. I’m just hungry for less bullshit and more good shit in my life if that doesn’t sound to forward. Maybe more of “jasmine wanna hang out today?” Instead of “jasmine can you take my shift at work today?”
Ough... it is so true! I relate!
I try to watch this video and I can't go 1 minute without crying. I know what you say has reasoning so I try to take all the aadvice but I get nowhere better. Its sad I can't think of the last time I was happy or hungry for my life. Even now I'm crying as I write this and its so sad how I don't have hunger for my life
so long ago but not the same age unable to connect because so many years have passed and I can't relate to me at 13 years old because I am who I today am through my ED
there is a song that explains what you are talking about and it is called "Hunger" by Florence + The Machine
Good find. Another song on this theme is an unreleased tearjerker called A Sadness, by the lead singer of Mother Mother, which was recorded from a lockdown livestream and uploaded to TH-cam by fan, channel name onkisa. Thank God they thought to record it, cos there aren't many ED songs out there, and this one has become my favourite
Baby kati awwww
Ohh I have a question, don't know if you can help but worth a try. Is it normal to like not remember your childhood? I am 15, but I don't really remember anything from like age 5-10. Thanks!
-Kylie-
very helpful information you sharing with us,Kati.For me personally it is major issue of my ed journey..
Thank you for everything,dear.;>
Namaste~
I was raped at the age of four. I have never been free or joyful. Closest I have gotten when I almost died
Iv got kids I don't have any FREEDOM!!!!! Especially right now because the schools are still closed after the Christmas holidays because of flu outbreaks. Last time I felt free was when my youngest got into nursery and I was able to run up the mountain with the dog for hours. But now it's winter and cold and snowy outside and the kids are off school and I'm stuck in the house with them fighting with each other and driving me crazy and iv relapsed quite badly.....
Awww so true😭❤️
Yeah, i think the imagination is the only thing that i have right now: that's pretty sad.
Never, when I got married,
" I should not have to need.....____" hold up.... that voice....thats part of the ed? . oh.my.god. every time I tell myself I don't have an ed... I'm just crazy I should just snap out of it or someday I will just snap out of it..... I find something like this. *facepalm* Its really weird how somedays I can admit it and somedays I just tell myself I'm crazy and its not real(like today) Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks that way. :/
I want you to be my sister
Why do your thumbnails say LMFT when this video was years before your independent licensure?
Why do you call yourself a "specialist" while you were still getting your education and training?
Thanks for your generous efforts throughout these years passed by, thank you for spreading realistic info on mental health. love you Hossein from Iran🙏♥️🤍🌹