"Why am I so angry with myself?" | ep.168
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 มิ.ย. 2023
- This week licensed therapist Kati Morton explains why we can strive for attachment with a figure in our life that we thought was kind and good to us. She also talks about the reason we can have an aversion for people who are the same gender as our abuser. She then discusses why we can be so angry with ourselves, yet forgive people for doing worse things. Kati then talks about stage fright and how to deal with it as well as the differences between being lazy, depressed, and burned out. This and so much more in this week’s episode.
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Ask Kati Anything ep. 168 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT
Audience questions:
1. I tend to attach to women teachers, psychologists, doctors (my aunts as well), etc. it always happens when there is even the slightest sign of care or interest in me. It has been happening since I can remember and I don’t understand why. I have both parents and even though...
2. Can you give any advice about being angry at oneself? Lately, I feel angry because, during the past few years, I pressed me too much and neglected my needs. Now I feel that I have wasted too much time and this makes me aggressive towards my...
3. Any tips to help musicians who suffer from stage fright?
4. I hope you’re well! (I asked that question before, but it didn’t get answered so I thought I would just ask it again.) I watched your video "Am I Lazy, Depressed, or Burnt Out?". I know that I’ve always been a lazy person (at least as long as I remember), but I think I’m probably also depressed...
5. At age 14 I found proana sites online and that triggered me to start restricting, as I hated my body then. Over the past 11 years I have gone through phases of restricting, followed by phases of normal eating...
6. Can overeating come from missing life? So that you try to fill a void with food... but actually it is a void of immaterial things you are craving for? Such as healthiness, friendships, lightheartedness, happiness, time, hope,...
7. My sister emotionally abused me and when this came up in therapy with my new therapist she wants me to understand why my sister did it. This feels very invalidating and I feel like my new therapist isn't allowing me to feel my anger towards my sister...
8. Can somatic experiencing work for someone with dissociation? My therapist wants to try somatic therapy and I was/am open to it but I have doubts about knowing how my body feels. I mean, half the time, I can barely feel my body!
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Timestamps!
Q1 - 0:35
Q2 - 11:42
Q3 - 36:21
Q4 - 40:27
Q5 - 50:16
Q6 - 56:56
Q7 - 1:06:46
Q8 - 1:10:16
Just a note on Question #3, I recently went to a huge concert of a really famous singer. She was rocking out and doing a harmonica solo in the middle of a song. When she went back to sing the next verse, she messed up and sang the wrong line. She laughed, said she messed up, and then just started singing the right verse. The crowd went wild!!! We all LOVED it! She just admitted what happened, rolled with it, and then kept going.
I guess my point is, no matter how good and famous or whatever you are, at the end of the day, we are all human. I've seen musicians do this a few times and seeing them just accept that they're fallible, just like the rest of us, almost made the song even better! It's okay to make mistakes and by being able to be okay with that may help. I don't know, just thought I would throw that out there. Keep rocking what you do and kudos for putting yourself out there! 🤘✌❤
Good evening people in the comments share my care support and love to you all this is the safe space for me watching and listening to kati and meeting new people and knowing we are all here for a reason and because we are suffering from our mental health no matter what it is its important to have surpport ❤❤
I am up to 30 minutes and i feel like i could have asked every single question.
It feels weird to hear myself in someone else and also validating that i am not the only one struggling in the same way as me.
I think I finally figured out why I feel deep anger. It's because I don't get the assurance of being allowed to feel. It's usually "calm down," the person gets defensive, or some other person labeling me with a diagnosis. It really ticks me off because no one I know tells me that it's ok to feel; so I end up suppressed and over convincing myself it'll be ok.
I wasn't emotionally developed enough to connect with anyone until I was much older. My mom passed away and all I have to remember now is how much she said I'd miss her when she was gone. She was right.
Call your mom. Show her you love her. Tell her if she needs it.
I had to take a stress leave from work, today is my first day back and this video was a nice early surprise to get me through it!
Best of luck to you~ You GOT this! Ha!🤗🌻☕
Thank you 🌺 I’ve been having such a tough time and your voice is so soothing! Love the podcast ✨
JustmeEmi. I'm Nikki just like to say I can understand and relate to you going though a tough time also agree Kati had a lovely soft calming Voice
AKA & OTDM .Kati Morton hello good evening you looking good iv been really needed this new mental health podcast iv been very depressed and become isolated such good important questions and your in Deep answers are always interesting and informative ❤❤❤
Early release AKA. Great way to start the day! 😊
Omg question #1 sounds like me but my mom n I have a bad relationship
I have MDD (it's in the family genes) and have been on an SSRI for ages. It doesn't really help me much.
I started taking Ritalin to help me get through a heavy university course load while working a full-time job (and suffering from several anxiety disorders)...
I've since discovered that Ritalin (the short-acting one) helps my depression. 🤔
I am unable to feel anger at other people, even the ones who hurt me the worst and robbed me of my home and career... But I am now having breakthrough episodes of RAGE at myself when stressed or frustrated, complete with hateful name-calling and even threats and the desire to hit myself in the face...like my mother did when I was small and she'd sit on me, gleefully pinning me down and grabbing my own hand and using my hand to hit my face. I felt helpless and if i got angry at her, somehow i guess she would get worse. It sort of felt like rape. She used my hand to hit me because my father had once told her to stop hitting the baby, so she found this sneaky way to make me hit and smash myself. She also played a game in which little me was garbage and she'd pick me up and try to throw me out the back door into the garbage she'd thrown into the flowerbed, and I'd scream and try to grab the doorframe to save myself. I was not hugged or allowed to be close to her body. It was like I was garbage instead of a wonderful child. Now at 71 I'm acting it out compulsively, calling myself garbage and shit, AND in trouble with neighbors and court for the chaotic stuff piled up my yard! I have a therapist and I'm trying to clean it up or they'll take my paid-for house and make me homeless! I wish someone would come help me and call me sometimes, but I dont know how to find such a person. My friend is weird and wont help me and usually won't even answer calls or texts. Thank god for this video! It gives me some ideas to cope, like shaking out my hands. This is an A+ SUPER video for help and understanding! ❤
It sounds as though you are actually turning a corner to me~!
Do your best to work on small steps and then work up to bigger steps to achieve still bigger things..
Should anyone (in an official capacity) asks what you've completed, you will have a list ready.
If you are showing effort and are having success with those efforts, (I.e., completing tasks you've set your efforts on), you have something to negotiate a bit of further time to complete everything..
I wish you the best of luck.. And I'm so glad for you that your mother is not in your life anymore!!
For the 7th question, it does make a difference. The therapist may be trying to get her to be aware of how she affects others. Example:
My Youngest sister was a holy terror growing up. She was violent, stole our toys, and would get my Middle sister and I (eldest) in trouble by smacking herself.
Sounds horrible, right?
But, she was that way because she couldn't get our attention. She was too young to play with us. She wouldn't understand.
That rejection killed her decency.
Or like, sibling was having serious problems as a child, and was always upset and irritable and ended up being hurtful to others as a result of being unable to process it and regulate their emotions. Understanding that they weren't mean just to be hateful or because there was something wrong with you, could make it easier to heal, and having empathy towards the child that was in fact struggling with their own pains, might make you resent them less.
I find it really hard to differienciate between am i too lazy or just depressed too. The thing is, if your selftalk is so bad, that you keep telling yourself you are not unable just you don’t WANT to be able, so in a way you are unwilling because you telll yourself you are able but decide not to .. does that make sense? I’m definitely not depressed anymore, but i think i was before but maybe not really … its rlly confusing sometimes.
I had two neglectful, abusive parents and always longed for a kind motherly woman to take care of me and love me, but I never found it. Was gay awhile and even let myself hate men awhile which was therapeutic! Now I'm 71 and have given up but part of me still longs for a caring male companion and a caring female friend. Or enough money to hire a butler ir housekeeper to at least take care of my physical needs!
? Why do we love people/family who hurt us why is it hard to walk away from them
Lol I swear Kati is talking to me almost every time. Neglected as a child but I can’t put my finger on it bc I blocked it out. Ugh ppl pleasing… negative self talk, negative worth depression bpd. Omg i easily forgive :( I think my parents taught me tht…lots of big T lil T. I went to church by myself had fake families. My parents never went to school functions. I say I was raised on a couch. Tv was my best friend.
I never really understood the "don't talk negative to yourself" thing. I feel that the problem comes when you generalize a critique of a specific event to an identity of yourself. If you say "oh i have been so stupid today".. it's ok as long as you understand that you are talking to a specific event. We all are stupid, clever, messy tidy, nothing wrong with that. I say that because many friends in therapy end up doing the opposite. "Never say i have been stupid or wrong because that's negative thinking and psychologists say it's wrong". No it's not. It's healthy. I think. Seems like an identity problem to me.
You're right about that.. A person does have to be honest and fair with themselves.
concussion
Oh nice another episode!!
Just want to put this here as a reminder for anyone that needs it :)
The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him,
Nahum 1:7 NIV
Thanks 👌
Thank you for this video! It takes a long time to learn your own patterns with your emotions and then be able to work through/process your emotions.❤🩹