It really is. I can see why it works, because it truly hurts. You sit and ponder if they care and make stories in your head. If one is strong, they will keep going and they know that feeling will pass even if it takes months. No contact works on the inexperienced, most of the time.
You know you're dating the wrong guy when you end up watching videos like this on youtube to figure out what to do in a relationship. When am I going to learn my lesson!
Exactly. Sometimes the man truly doesn't give a shit. I think many women have trouble accepting that truth, because rejection is difficult to deal with.
No contact works if you don't give a shit. lol I'm a firm believer that if it was meant to be, then it'll happen. Honestly, I hate the game playing. It's very immature. Good to see ya Elliot :)
No contact works very well. If I've decided that I'm done with a man, no contact is the best policy. And 99.999% of the time, a guy just comes back thinking he can get easy sex. That's what the block button is for.
Silence are the loudest,ladies. Again,silence are the loudest! No contact 100% works(doesn’t matter with ldr) when they loved you especially when they were emotionally unavailable and those who procrastinate a lot. If not,why would you want those back who wouldn’t love you with commitment and solidity? Work on your happiness and yourself only while doing no contact. They always come back but from then you are the chooser not them.period
No contact works when you don’t give a shit anymore, I don’t do the “no contact” in hopes he’d miss me and reach out to me but bc I’m actually done and have no interest in hearing from him again. He can be some other girls problem now.
I hate that for past two years that's my dating life first off they persue me then it's hot and cold find out if their in a relationship ghosted then hot cold ghosted again or forced into casual dating when clearly stated I don't want that from the jump. I just say I'm gay or ignore them no one wants me
Monique Taylor Yeah, there’s too many rules and games on how to win a guys heart these days.. men are too shallow these days and want to always keep their options open, they’ll act interested in the girl then out of no where stop talking to her bc he “changed his mind” bc the girl did something to throw him off like he’s a prize winner. I’ve had men ghost me, cut me off then think they can come back and act like they didn’t pull some cruddy crap before. If you can leave that easily and you barely knew me then please just stay gone bc I’m done. Your loss lol
@@kittame I only cared more twice in my life. Then I just found the butterfly feelings were not worth it. Find a partner that helps you grow in life, and let them have those butterfly feelings for youu. So much better
Yes me, but the older I get the less I care about what they think of me & just try to be myself, although I still do care. I'm learning I should be more concerned about getting to know them & what their intentions are & if THEY are worth my time or not.
I am doing no contact with a guy because he kept going hot and cold with me. The last time we talked, he said that he loved me 🙄 I did not say that I loved him back, because his words did not match his actions. When we fought, he was verbally abusive, and I felt like I wasn't being heard. We only talked when it was convenient for him. My brother said that I was selling myself short, and I felt that. When I decided to have no contact with him, I just assume that I would never hear from him again. It's not punishment, it's not a mind game. It's standing my ground, knowing that I want better and deserve better. Getting scraps of attention is not love. Being made to feel that I'm putting in more effort than he is, is not love. Not feeling safe, not feeling supported, not feeling that I matter is not love. The no contact rule is not easy to follow through, believe me, but it has made me stronger and I don't waste my time over-analyzing the situation. No one is worth losing your peace and mental health over. Work on yourself, live fully as if you will be single for the rest of your life.
Hayati Super great advice. When actions don’t align with their words that’s what causes distrust. Proud of you for being able to pull through and get out of a toxic situation
@@hipnhappenin Thank you. No point holding on to someone because of their good qualities, but in the bigger picture their bad qualities stand out even more.
@@bpatterson3 It just goes to show how common our situations are. I told my story to let others know that they are not alone. I am sorry to hear that someone is not seeing your worth. I am glad that you are staying away from them. Listen to your instincts, your gut, for they are your best friends. I wish you lots of love *hugs* ❤️💜❤️
Thank you 😊! I am sorry to hear someone is treating you this well as well; yes unfortunately this is very common & just sad! The right person is out there for everyone just have to get through the hurdle! Exactly our instincts always lead us to the right direction it’s crazy how all the answers are truly in us we just have to listen & abide!
You don’t do no contact to get a man to like you. You do it for yourself because you don’t need his wishy washy unappreciative bullshit. It’s stressful and distracting from the good stuff in your life. If you two were right together the idea of going no contact wouldn’t have crossed your mind.
He said the long distance wouldn't work and I tried to do no contact but he reached out a few times randomly, and in return I did too but less. Wish I would've stuck with no contact. Now it feels like he probably thinks he's still got me wrapped around his finger. I will no longer accept his short messages and texts, if he isn't coming back for me completely he's not gonna come back to me at all. I won't validate him when he's lonely or regretting his decision. No contact for me isn't about punishing him, it's about ME moving on because he clearly doesn't want me enough to keep me or have me.
Have been in ldr and guess what? When you dgaf they curve back with more desperation lol No contact WORKS also in ldr. Just focus only on yourself and that kills them softly. My ex always curved back to me and I left him on read or write him back short and cold but being emotionless. No hate but also no interest. Guys are driven crazy when they can’t guess where you stand currently. Let them keep guessing but while then keep focusing on yourself and your happiness!! Silence can be the loudest for sure. When they don’t act on empty words but with plan and solid actions with loyalty and commitment then let them get your message with your own standard you ask for healthy and committed relationship:)
@wldusJB When I did that he snuck into my messages twice, even if it was meaningless. But I tried to be short and uninterested. For now, I'm going completely silent I just hope my previous giving in hasn't made him think he's got me again. I'm working on me! And starting to realize I deserve the best.
Crystal M Girl trust me. My ex still is stalking me everywhere and he could be one of the worst type of man who can’t actually love as matured man but emotionally procrastinating a lot and never plan things out etc. like ‘Let time tell the tale’ you know..? He left me for whole 3times before and I begged him to stay. At the end of the day I left him cuz I couldn’t have wasted my time anymore bc of love. It was so hard for me but it has been almost 8months since I left him and never contacted him while he did every month and always stalk my social media...He works on things but doesn’t seem to be grown up still. He leaves so many signs as he’s been changed but Idgaf cuz it’s not enough and I don’t wanna make any more mistake. While you work on yourself he will be back but then he can’t be a chooser but you will be. Don’t get soft. When the day comes you won’t lost anything but just gain or gains.
Thats great advice. My guy is the same, when he left again he told me it's not over for good we just have to "see where life takes us". I'm tired of the constant leaving and inability to commit. He used to treat me so good and chose me and wanted me and then boom, a change. But I won't beg him to come back like I did before. He's going to realize he made a mistake, he can't do better, and that he lost the one girl that cared. But being soft is my weakness, I always give in. But not this time.
I think that no contact is the time to better your own life for you. Get fit, work on your goals, become a better person. If they come back they do, but you did all this stuff for yourself and not them during this time. :)
I truly hate the games too! Sucks I am genuinely a person who doesn't take advantage of people. My heart is full of caring for others but feels good to stop talking to people. I have learned to do no contact because people hurt me and take advantage of me. Realizing love changes a heart if it is meant to be. Thanks for the info, videos are always helpful.
I've never understood using no contact as a weapon of manipulation. . Even if they do come back and you let them, it's only matter of time before they fall into their old patterns of what led to the end anyway. The only time I've gone no contact is when I haven't wanted any contact with that person. I didn't want to see his face, I didn't want to hear his excuses or his lines .... it is annoying when they come at you during that time, because you do think "Why now??" ....and also because when you lay your boundaries down, all you want is for them to respect that. They know you're upset. They know why you're upset. No contact is kind of my way of telling that person to leave it. I'm not "punishing" him. I just want to move on. It is hard and I do wonder what he's up to. I do still care, but going back and going through the same thing again is just not worth it. Care less about teaching an ex partner a lesson, and care more about your own sanity. Moving on may seem unthinkable sometimes, and heartbreaking most of the time, but you'll Thank yourself in the long run. You cannot teach someone a lesson, you can't force them to miss you. You can't force someone to care about you. If they don't, it's not your fault. If they do, but realise it too late, it's not your fault. You are not obligated to go back when they come running, and they are not obligated to come running. Let it be.
💯 correct. Ladies would be better served if they make life about THEM versus the object of their affection/desire. Most men, if they are semi-evolved, intuit a grasping, cloying, needy woman and before you can say “Jack Robinson” up goes the moat, things go from ‘white hot’ to on and off/hot and cold (at his whim) and the vicious circle commences. Concentric circles going nowhere. Break free .... break away. Heartache is almost guaranteed in the beginning, but you end up with THE greatest prize of all: Yourself. Beautiful, shining, radiant you. Supreme Goddess of Love. A goddess in touch with her value and self-worth.
This advice is kind of off...if I cut it off it’s because he doesn’t deserve my attention or time. I’m NOT giving him attention when I know my worth plain and simple. I have had men try to contact me over especially when I don’t respond and finally I have had to tell them to keep it moving and they realize they can find/use someone else easier 🤷🏾♀️
IndigobluBeauty exactly!! Men play games because we let them . If a man does not treat me right he’s gone . Know your worth and never settle for less then what you want .
I’m confused. Aren’t you and Elliott saying the exact same thing? The guys care more when you care less. He’s saying pull away before the guy pulls away. Meaning he stays the pursuer. If you pull away because he isn’t worth it. It doesn’t matter if he contacts your or not. But if you do think he deserves you, never put yourself in a position where you are going after him more than he is chasing you. Like I said, I think you are both saying the same thing.
This advice isn't for women that are confident and have their shit together. It's for women that can't get control of their emotions and let guys manipulate them. :(
Like they always do, if they have a pool of women why settle for one and not sample each and every one? As we say in Greek "lentils every day aren't nice", you get bored , you want a different "meal" 😏
They do go onto the next but they also keep you around just in case they’ll want something from you later on. Or they’ll try to get back with you and I would reject them and feel better.
Can I just say, I’m loving all the retaliation in these comments! No Contact Rules DOES work, but it’s not an over night process. You don’t have to have much with someone in order for them to want reconciliation later on. When you stop giving someone love and attention that they take for granted and you disappear, they’re gunna notice. I use to worship this guy in High school and he never gave me a chance so I did no contact. He came back because he missed the attention I use to give him, a couple months later he wanted to give me a shot. He’s OBSESSED with me now! To this day I have him wrapped around my finger. No joke. Our relationship dynamic is totally different now and the only reason I’m not with him is because I don’t want to be. He’s been chasing me for 2-3 years now? 🤔 *drops the 🎤 *
Men are silly. They will approach you for a long time after you told them you are not interested, but when you show interest. They be trying to pull away from you. They are truly insane.
I Think when he doesnt give a shit, make sure you dont give a shit about em in silence Even if its hard 2 leave him alone. If he Comes back..... U'll see What happends sometimes time Will tell
Ladies, just be yourself. This whole business of telling women to act, behave in a certain way just to keep a man is ridiculous and preys on women's insecurities big-time. A real man will like you for who you are- you shouldn't have to play immature mind games. That is only if you want to attract a man, not a manbaby. Be your best version and put yourself out there instead of listening to TH-cam videos.
That Girl.. I disagree.. if being ourselves has been working out so well we wouldn’t be watching these videos! Sometimes you actually need to work on yourself.. sometimes you don’t know where to start. Sometimes you’re not aware on how you’re coming across to the opposite sex, or how your behavior is being perceived. Not everyone is enlightened enough to be the best version of themselves.. I mean what is that anyways?! “Be yourself” is too vague and unhelpful.. been doing that.. been getting walked all over. Insanity is doing the same thing over n over expecting different results. So I think I’m gonna stick to taking dating coaches’ advice n see what happens!
@@theskylar110 Not every "guru" knows what is best for you. Only you know what is best for you. I would much rather watch someone like Isaiah Hankel than these 20 something dating gurus. Just my opinion.
@@goddessvibes08 of course not every "guru" knows what's best for you.. I never claimed that! you should always use your own judgement, take what you find useful and leave out the rest.. Isaiah Hankle has his audience.. and so does Elliot Scott.. I as a 20 something millennial who's dating 20-30 somethings, I find 20 something Elliot Scott more relevant to today's dating scene.. If I were in my 40s or 50s, I'd probably seek out a different dating coach. I don't follow his advice blindly and down to the T, I don't agree with him all the time, just most of the time! I am aware that different contexts call for different actions.. That's all cool.. whatever floats your boat.. all I'm saying is "be yourself" is the most generic wishy washy advice on the planet and most people don't know what to do with it!
We are a bit conditioned as women to contact men and thank them for a nice time after a date, it's called good manners. If you've done this a few times (three times plus) it starts to feel like you initiate all contact. If its got to this stage and you are doubting intent...... wait, hold fire. If they are interested they WILL contact you and you have asserted a bit of status as a high value woman. If not let it go.
No contact worked for me. By telling him to not contact me until he got a job or could pay me back for all the money I've given him....haven't heard from him since. No contact teaches you who is genuine and who is not.
I've gone no contact with a narcissistic gaslighting individual for a month now, and I got a message halfway in the month stating "are you happy now?". I never responded. Roughly 10 days later, a quote is put up as his profile pic - "When the wrong people leave your life, the right things start to happen" lol....
Elliott but most importantly if he LOVES U then he will definitely come back. Because if he or she loves u being apart will drive him/her crazy and they will want to get back together. Nothing beats being in love with a person
No contact works if you walked away from a toxic a-- narcissist. Your kitty is so beautiful. I don't NEED him to circle back around with his foolishness.
I was with my ex bf for 2 years. He left and then 2 months later he was in a new relationship. I believe they met on Tinder. We’ve been broken up for 4 months. His new gf and him have been together for 2 months 🙄🤦🏼♀️. A few days ago they got engaged. Posted it on fb. The next day they got professional photos done and posted those too. I was devestated. I’m doing better today but, WTF is happening right now!?!?!!!?!?!!!
Try to move on now. He’s done and he belongs to someone else. Please have some self respect and move on from him. He’s not the one for you. I always believe that certain events set certain events in motion. Nothing in life is coincidence. Your break up was pre set. Nothing you could e done could’ve stopped it. He wasn’t for you. You have to accept it now. He is engaged and the engagement can still be broken but the chances of that happening are low to none. Be firm and move on. I wish you the best.
I was in a similar situation as you are right now. After 9 years, he broke up with me, and got engaged 8 months later. What I did was to stay away from social media for months. I also traveled overseas to meet with some friends. It was very healing. Nowadays I don't have the urge to look for him anymore. I gained my freedom, my peace, a higher awareness of myself and what I want from life, and many more. Yes I still think about him, but in a way, I don't miss him anymore. You will heal, and become stronger, I promise you. You will get through this.
Hayati Hayati very well said and thanks for sharing your story with us. Im glad you hVe moved on. And you are happy. I was not in this boat but i dated someone briefly and i became attached to the guy who ended up dumping me for reasons unknown. I am tryna move on as well and i find comfort in all our stories in this little community we’ve created for each other. God bless us all. Love will find us eventually when we least expect it.
@@asmallbitchybanana I am sorry that the guy left you without telling you why. The reasons my ex left me were not satisfactory, and I had a feeling he and his fiancé met before we broke up. I didn't confront him, didn't say or do anything out of revenge. I cried every day for an entire year. Right now I am still single, but I am at peace with it. You are strong, even at times when you feel weak. Make peace with the not knowing, and make your own closure. Sometimes the closure is as simple as, we were not right for each other. I still have my sad days (the breakup was early last year), but I can feel that the grief is not as deep now, and the pain not as intense. May you find the love that you want, and may it make you forget all the others who came before him 😘 *hugs*
One thing I’ve learn is that if that man loves you , You won’t have a doubt and if you have a doubt most likely he doesn’t really care . No contact he will be ok with out you reaching out and he might contact back just bcz his bored or lonly. It’s best to used no contact to just move on .
They dont always come back. My opinion is, no contact can work two ways. First, you are doing it for yourself for your own peace of mind and value. For your self respect. In this scenario you may never see him ever again and you must be prepared because he may not return ever. The second one is that he may return because the absence and scarcity made him realize how valuable you were to him in which case, its up to you to take him back but what does that say about him and it seems like your behavior and willingness to hang around and wait for him too indicates low self esteem on your part that youre willing to wait for someone who is unsure of your value to begin with? Do no contact with the intention that he may never return and you are done and no longer hoping. Its hars because you love him and youre expecting him to come back but steel yourself for the possibility that he may never and no contact in this case was to help you realize it was never meant.
Watch the video. It's not to get him back. If he left you - he wanted to leave, you can't do anything about it. Date multiple guys at once (not sleep) have options and stop obsessing over one, you will save much time.
I M A QYN all i said was that women use it as a tool to get a man back. They wait around hoping he’ll come around which Elliot himself said in the video. No comtact should be done with the intention that he may never come back and be prepared for that because thats the absolute truth.
My very first bf reached out after NC of 16 years....one reached aftr yrs and we nvr were in a serious relationship...they always reach out aftr nc eventually
Cant wait for the next book. Appreciate the work! Thank god for TH-cam and your books!! I know tinder etc is no good because of competition but i dont go out much and no other way of meeting anyone so i guess i have to be the best option i can be and hope.
After a 2 year relationship my bf decided it was over out of the blue. On July 15, I stopped all contact, followed your advice 100 percent. Two days ago hes begging me back.
We need those cat pouch sweaters with the hanging tassels that double as cat toys 😂. Then we can wear them as we watch these videos and wonder, what are we doing wrong?
Elliott, thank you for your videos. I am an older divorced woman, advise like this, is so helpful. Keep up the good work. Also, I think you are so funny.
OMG! I’m so bad at picking up man ... and as the result I’m still single, But, You’re awesome, you’re fun and your advices make total sense to me! 👍☘️🤗
I just want to regain my sanity...... he’s in every conversation and literally ruling my life by my choice. I need to be free although we have some business ties but I really don’t even care. That’s why I’m doing it.
Love the way you think. However, try being more structured and better define how to "no contact". When in a relationship, call the guy out. When just dating, respect his decision and move on with your life. Correct?
Yes, I've had two very long-term relationships. In both cases, over time I found these guys will do less or see what all they can get away with. I know it sounds crazy, but you have to set standards from the very beginning and hold to those standards. You as the girl, have to also take the responsibility of the relationship. And these are grown men where you'd think they'd grow up and settle down and realize their age. In both cases, no and usually they get bad advice from their own family or friends. And then they'll have the sibling who dumps their relationship crap on him, and he can't separate the two. THey'll start out like I'll treat you like how you treat me-but in reality that's not the case. You want the man who wants the family with you.
Would be great after this to have a video on what to reply IF he comes back? Do you ignore totally or play it cool but distant? Same goes in case you bump into him by coincidence.. thanks again for your videos! Much enjoy them and the cute cats :)
100% correct Elliot.... I have a question for a video I’d love you to cover. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place with dating. I have PTSD. I have significant challenges because of that. I don’t work. But I squeeze whatever I can out of my life. I’m studying psychology, hoping to work again. I have put my heart and soul into recovery, and I believe I’ve addressed so many of the things I need to be relationship ready, I think I have a lot to offer. Here’s the catch, dating others with mental health issues means they might drag me down, they haven’t done the work I have (that’s rare). Dating mentally healthy men, they always slowly back up (and I completely understand why). The only men who are interested are narcissistic or needy clingy. How do I find the balance between being honest with men about my challenges and not scaring them off? When should I tell them. I try to paint it in the best light as possible...do I just need to accept a healthy relationship is not on the cards for me atm?
Ive only heard of "no contact" when you are dealing with a narcissist. This is just way too much...if he doesnt know what he wants then f* him (and i dont mean sexually). Lol...thank u, next! Thanks for the inside insight.
True we have to control ourselves and our emotions when a guy mess with your mind and probably do not really care about you as much as you care about you. You will get hurt in the process if he is not the right one. Say elliot your cat looks just like the one i lost last year. Now that was my baby. Your cat is amazingly beautiful!
Dont be fooled, most of the time they only come back for all the reasons hes saying. Most of the time its not you. F!#% these kind of men. Your spot on. This just happen to me. The best advice to give a woman should come from a man. Spot on dude
Can you do a video about a guy who wants to take things slow? Someone who you’ve had history with, just started seeing each other again, agreed to not see other people, but wants to take things slow.
thank you for this important message! your advice is 100% spot on correct. l know many viewers will find it hard to accept because no contact has become the holy grail of many advisors, its a very destructive step and only leads to frustrated loneliness and battered self esteem in almost all cases. (The ladies commenting that no contact works are probably being hoovered by narcissists and dont realise it) no contact has NEVER ever worked for me. l have learned better strategies that actually get me what l want from the guys l want (and l tend to go for high value guys)
Elsa Novelli which are more intelligent and nuanced and would probably take a youtube video to explain. alternatively you could purchase my mini e-guide online - do let me know if you would like to purchase
Bit of an odd question, What if you and your partner were friends first but when you broke up because of long distance and we both agreed to do no contact would they still reach out? He said we were friends before and will always be, When we got together he said "It's always been me" and told me he loved me all the time and everyday which I've never had before... I am planning to move to the city and he knows that, I've done no contact since he retuned my belongings.. which has been a month now..
I go no contact when he has offended me too much for me to even speak, or I feel it is making his lack of attraction worse to stay in his life. If he doesn't want me, because I made mistakes or because he is a shit, there is the door. And he won't get any histrionics or ass kissing from me. Who cares if he feels better, I do too. Someone pulling away feels bad. He better stay gone though, dignity before dick. Not even a contest.
I kind of scared him of. Im leaving for vacation for 3 weeks. Should I just ask him to hang out when I come back? Im trying to just stay low for a few weeks and not be so much on sosical media. Cause I did it all wrong. Havent had a boyfriend so idk what Im doing. Should he know that I havent had a boyfriend before?
I don't get it. I pulled away because he pulled away. It's long distance so it can't work out. He texts me out of the blue and says he misses me. I said I miss him too. He says whatever, I don't him up all the time. He doesn't know that I think about him 24/7 lmaooo. What is life.
I dated a long distance guy, messaged and called every single day, we were together in person over the holidays when he came home, then pulls back when went back to base. Then he suddenly is in love with "the one who got away", who apparently stops contact and he starts contacting me again, telling me how much he misses me. He is probably messaging her the same. Anyway, RUN!! Just block him and run the other direction. Guys like this only looking for attention when they are bored
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No contact is a way to get control of your own emotions.
Judy Jack-Burton yes- so true! Very helpful to figure out what you want from the situation and what you will or will not put up with!
Yes you do it for yourself, thats how it should bs instead of using it as a tool to manipulate and gauge someone else’s emotions of level of interest.
Yes!! And to heal!!
It really is. I can see why it works, because it truly hurts. You sit and ponder if they care and make stories in your head. If one is strong, they will keep going and they know that feeling will pass even if it takes months. No contact works on the inexperienced, most of the time.
Yes for my own benefit but not to play games that's lame
You know you're dating the wrong guy when you end up watching videos like this on youtube to figure out what to do in a relationship. When am I going to learn my lesson!
I just saw this comment and agreed with it, turns out I wrote it!! Is this a joke. Different man same problems!!!!!’ Omg
If he doesn't call you, text you, ignore your messages - no rule will work - he just don't give a shit and is not that into you. Move on.
I M A QYN apparently they dont talk to the girls for first few weeks of going into no contact then come back
if he get hurt..??
Absolutely not true .
It hurts
My mom always told me love the guy less than he loves you, boy did I mess that up.
I hope my mom is like your mom
😂😂😂😂😂😂😅
No contact brings you back to yourself. Then they can chase, and you can decide.
Exactly. Sometimes the man truly doesn't give a shit. I think many women have trouble accepting that truth, because rejection is difficult to deal with.
You’re right 😂
No contact works if you don't give a shit. lol
I'm a firm believer that if it was meant to be, then it'll happen. Honestly, I hate the game playing. It's very immature.
Good to see ya Elliot :)
This is such BS, it's like high school. Im too old for this crap
@@topkat8268 I 100% agree with you,
@Sweetie Bellie who hurt you?
Lina P. Yep. And once a woman no longer gives a shit... he lost.
@@katherinesmith767 babe. no way. there is always mgtow for men.
No contact works very well. If I've decided that I'm done with a man, no contact is the best policy. And 99.999% of the time, a guy just comes back thinking he can get easy sex. That's what the block button is for.
Silence are the loudest,ladies. Again,silence are the loudest! No contact 100% works(doesn’t matter with ldr) when they loved you especially when they were emotionally unavailable and those who procrastinate a lot. If not,why would you want those back who wouldn’t love you with commitment and solidity? Work on your happiness and yourself only while doing no contact. They always come back but from then you are the chooser not them.period
What do you mean doesnt matter with ldr?
Don't use it as discipline for the guy, use it as self-care.
No contact should only be used if you really do not want the man back into your life forever.
Dont pull in a narcissist
No contact works when you don’t give a shit anymore, I don’t do the “no contact” in hopes he’d miss me and reach out to me but bc I’m actually done and have no interest in hearing from him again. He can be some other girls problem now.
I hate that for past two years that's my dating life first off they persue me then it's hot and cold find out if their in a relationship ghosted then hot cold ghosted again or forced into casual dating when clearly stated I don't want that from the jump. I just say I'm gay or ignore them no one wants me
Monique Taylor Yeah, there’s too many rules and games on how to win a guys heart these days.. men are too shallow these days and want to always keep their options open, they’ll act interested in the girl then out of no where stop talking to her bc he “changed his mind” bc the girl did something to throw him off like he’s a prize winner. I’ve had men ghost me, cut me off then think they can come back and act like they didn’t pull some cruddy crap before. If you can leave that easily and you barely knew me then please just stay gone bc I’m done. Your loss lol
💯
No Contact means No Contact...ever!
The one who cares less in a relationship wins.
This time, it will be ME! Enough with goodness!
@@kittame I only cared more twice in my life. Then I just found the butterfly feelings were not worth it. Find a partner that helps you grow in life, and let them have those butterfly feelings for youu. So much better
@@jessejameslatimer8686 So if I got it right you're saying that you prefered the other party to take the lead with messages etc.?
@@kittame that is true. You will know when a guy / girl likes you --- if you are questioning it they don't
Anyone else here struggle with having anxiety while dating? I over think everything and usually fuck it up 🤦
Yes me, but the older I get the less I care about what they think of me & just try to be myself, although I still do care. I'm learning I should be more concerned about getting to know them & what their intentions are & if THEY are worth my time or not.
Yes I do when I'm invested n someone pulls back , n I dig the hole deeper trying to fix it ur not alone.
I am doing no contact with a guy because he kept going hot and cold with me. The last time we talked, he said that he loved me 🙄 I did not say that I loved him back, because his words did not match his actions. When we fought, he was verbally abusive, and I felt like I wasn't being heard. We only talked when it was convenient for him. My brother said that I was selling myself short, and I felt that. When I decided to have no contact with him, I just assume that I would never hear from him again. It's not punishment, it's not a mind game. It's standing my ground, knowing that I want better and deserve better. Getting scraps of attention is not love. Being made to feel that I'm putting in more effort than he is, is not love. Not feeling safe, not feeling supported, not feeling that I matter is not love. The no contact rule is not easy to follow through, believe me, but it has made me stronger and I don't waste my time over-analyzing the situation. No one is worth losing your peace and mental health over. Work on yourself, live fully as if you will be single for the rest of your life.
Hayati Super great advice. When actions don’t align with their words that’s what causes distrust. Proud of you for being able to pull through and get out of a toxic situation
@@hipnhappenin Thank you. No point holding on to someone because of their good qualities, but in the bigger picture their bad qualities stand out even more.
Dang why did you literally describe my whole situation I am doing no contact too because everything you just described!
@@bpatterson3 It just goes to show how common our situations are. I told my story to let others know that they are not alone. I am sorry to hear that someone is not seeing your worth. I am glad that you are staying away from them. Listen to your instincts, your gut, for they are your best friends. I wish you lots of love *hugs* ❤️💜❤️
Thank you 😊! I am sorry to hear someone is treating you this well as well; yes unfortunately this is very common & just sad! The right person is out there for everyone just have to get through the hurdle! Exactly our instincts always lead us to the right direction it’s crazy how all the answers are truly in us we just have to listen & abide!
You don’t do no contact to get a man to like you. You do it for yourself because you don’t need his wishy washy unappreciative bullshit. It’s stressful and distracting from the good stuff in your life. If you two were right together the idea of going no contact wouldn’t have crossed your mind.
He said the long distance wouldn't work and I tried to do no contact but he reached out a few times randomly, and in return I did too but less. Wish I would've stuck with no contact. Now it feels like he probably thinks he's still got me wrapped around his finger. I will no longer accept his short messages and texts, if he isn't coming back for me completely he's not gonna come back to me at all. I won't validate him when he's lonely or regretting his decision. No contact for me isn't about punishing him, it's about ME moving on because he clearly doesn't want me enough to keep me or have me.
Thats right some men are stupid play to many games they need to grow up serious yes show them
Have been in ldr and guess what? When you dgaf they curve back with more desperation lol No contact WORKS also in ldr. Just focus only on yourself and that kills them softly. My ex always curved back to me and I left him on read or write him back short and cold but being emotionless. No hate but also no interest. Guys are driven crazy when they can’t guess where you stand currently. Let them keep guessing but while then keep focusing on yourself and your happiness!! Silence can be the loudest for sure. When they don’t act on empty words but with plan and solid actions with loyalty and commitment then let them get your message with your own standard you ask for healthy and committed relationship:)
@wldusJB When I did that he snuck into my messages twice, even if it was meaningless. But I tried to be short and uninterested. For now, I'm going completely silent I just hope my previous giving in hasn't made him think he's got me again. I'm working on me! And starting to realize I deserve the best.
Crystal M Girl trust me. My ex still is stalking me everywhere and he could be one of the worst type of man who can’t actually love as matured man but emotionally procrastinating a lot and never plan things out etc. like ‘Let time tell the tale’ you know..? He left me for whole 3times before and I begged him to stay. At the end of the day I left him cuz I couldn’t have wasted my time anymore bc of love. It was so hard for me but it has been almost 8months since I left him and never contacted him while he did every month and always stalk my social media...He works on things but doesn’t seem to be grown up still. He leaves so many signs as he’s been changed but Idgaf cuz it’s not enough and I don’t wanna make any more mistake. While you work on yourself he will be back but then he can’t be a chooser but you will be. Don’t get soft. When the day comes you won’t lost anything but just gain or gains.
Thats great advice. My guy is the same, when he left again he told me it's not over for good we just have to "see where life takes us". I'm tired of the constant leaving and inability to commit. He used to treat me so good and chose me and wanted me and then boom, a change. But I won't beg him to come back like I did before. He's going to realize he made a mistake, he can't do better, and that he lost the one girl that cared. But being soft is my weakness, I always give in. But not this time.
Just use men for sex and move on.
M M I hear that
secret garden first option
Exactly.
lol
That's right
The problem is, once you're pulling away from me, you're dead.. i only gave a chance, no twice.
I think that no contact is the time to better your own life for you. Get fit, work on your goals, become a better person. If they come back they do, but you did all this stuff for yourself and not them during this time. :)
I truly hate the games too! Sucks I am genuinely a person who doesn't take advantage of people. My heart is full of caring for others but feels good to stop talking to people. I have learned to do no contact because people hurt me and take advantage of me. Realizing love changes a heart if it is meant to be. Thanks for the info, videos are always helpful.
This is brilliant. You have to understand why they come back and it’s not always why you want them to come back.
I've never understood using no contact as a weapon of manipulation. . Even if they do come back and you let them, it's only matter of time before they fall into their old patterns of what led to the end anyway.
The only time I've gone no contact is when I haven't wanted any contact with that person.
I didn't want to see his face, I didn't want to hear his excuses or his lines .... it is annoying when they come at you during that time, because you do think "Why now??" ....and also because when you lay your boundaries down, all you want is for them to respect that.
They know you're upset. They know why you're upset. No contact is kind of my way of telling that person to leave it.
I'm not "punishing" him. I just want to move on.
It is hard and I do wonder what he's up to. I do still care, but going back and going through the same thing again is just not worth it.
Care less about teaching an ex partner a lesson, and care more about your own sanity.
Moving on may seem unthinkable sometimes, and heartbreaking most of the time, but you'll Thank yourself in the long run.
You cannot teach someone a lesson, you can't force them to miss you. You can't force someone to care about you.
If they don't, it's not your fault. If they do, but realise it too late, it's not your fault.
You are not obligated to go back when they come running, and they are not obligated to come running.
Let it be.
This is The Best coment ever. I needed this after a 3 year relationship breakup
💯 correct. Ladies would be better served if they make life about THEM versus the object of their affection/desire. Most men, if they are semi-evolved, intuit a grasping, cloying, needy woman and before you can say “Jack Robinson” up goes the moat, things go from ‘white hot’ to on and off/hot and cold (at his whim) and the vicious circle commences. Concentric circles going nowhere. Break free .... break away. Heartache is almost guaranteed in the beginning, but you end up with THE greatest prize of all: Yourself. Beautiful, shining, radiant you. Supreme Goddess of Love. A goddess in touch with her value and self-worth.
This advice is kind of off...if I cut it off it’s because he doesn’t deserve my attention or time. I’m NOT giving him attention when I know my worth plain and simple. I have had men try to contact me over especially when I don’t respond and finally I have had to tell them to keep it moving and they realize they can find/use someone else easier 🤷🏾♀️
IndigobluBeauty exactly i agree
IndigobluBeauty exactly!! Men play games because we let them . If a man does not treat me right he’s gone . Know your worth and never settle for less then what you want .
I’m confused. Aren’t you and Elliott saying the exact same thing? The guys care more when you care less. He’s saying pull away before the guy pulls away. Meaning he stays the pursuer. If you pull away because he isn’t worth it. It doesn’t matter if he contacts your or not. But if you do think he deserves you, never put yourself in a position where you are going after him more than he is chasing you. Like I said, I think you are both saying the same thing.
This advice isn't for women that are confident and have their shit together. It's for women that can't get control of their emotions and let guys manipulate them. :(
You're so right, Elliot! If the attraction isnt there, its pointless with games.
My guy told me. He's not that into me. I'm going no contact but for me.
People play too many games man. Damn
Right!!!! Just be your damn self. Either we are together or not end of story.
It works but u gotta stay firm
Men’s attitude: “onto the next”.
Like they always do, if they have a pool of women why settle for one and not sample each and every one? As we say in Greek "lentils every day aren't nice", you get bored , you want a different "meal" 😏
They do go onto the next but they also keep you around just in case they’ll want something from you later on. Or they’ll try to get back with you and I would reject them and feel better.
Yep they smile and say “come on in” ... in his head ..”let me use you some more”....
Can I just say, I’m loving all the retaliation in these comments!
No Contact Rules DOES work, but it’s not an over night process. You don’t have to have much with someone in order for them to want reconciliation later on. When you stop giving someone love and attention that they take for granted and you disappear, they’re gunna notice. I use to worship this guy in High school and he never gave me a chance so I did no contact. He came back because he missed the attention I use to give him, a couple months later he wanted to give me a shot. He’s OBSESSED with me now! To this day I have him wrapped around my finger. No joke. Our relationship dynamic is totally different now and the only reason I’m not with him is because I don’t want to be. He’s been chasing me for 2-3 years now? 🤔
*drops the 🎤 *
______________________________ savage
She's right, it works. Happened to me too but on an extreme scale. My ex has been chasing me for approx 15 years now. He was a high school ex as well.
THESE COMMENTS ARE BOGOSE
So how do you keep them chasing u when they come back
Men are silly. They will approach you for a long time after you told them you are not interested, but when you show interest. They be trying to pull away from you. They are truly insane.
I Think when he doesnt give a shit, make sure you dont give a shit about em in silence
Even if its hard 2 leave him alone. If he Comes back..... U'll see What happends
sometimes time Will tell
Ladies, just be yourself. This whole business of telling women to act, behave in a certain way just to keep a man is ridiculous and preys on women's insecurities big-time. A real man will like you for who you are- you shouldn't have to play immature mind games. That is only if you want to attract a man, not a manbaby. Be your best version and put yourself out there instead of listening to TH-cam videos.
Thank you
That Girl.. I disagree.. if being ourselves has been working out so well we wouldn’t be watching these videos! Sometimes you actually need to work on yourself.. sometimes you don’t know where to start. Sometimes you’re not aware on how you’re coming across to the opposite sex, or how your behavior is being perceived.
Not everyone is enlightened enough to be the best version of themselves.. I mean what is that anyways?! “Be yourself” is too vague and unhelpful.. been doing that.. been getting walked all over. Insanity is doing the same thing over n over expecting different results.
So I think I’m gonna stick to taking dating coaches’ advice n see what happens!
@@theskylar110 Not every "guru" knows what is best for you. Only you know what is best for you. I would much rather watch someone like Isaiah Hankel than these 20 something dating gurus. Just my opinion.
@@goddessvibes08 of course not every "guru" knows what's best for you.. I never claimed that! you should always use your own judgement, take what you find useful and leave out the rest.. Isaiah Hankle has his audience.. and so does Elliot Scott.. I as a 20 something millennial who's dating 20-30 somethings, I find 20 something Elliot Scott more relevant to today's dating scene.. If I were in my 40s or 50s, I'd probably seek out a different dating coach. I don't follow his advice blindly and down to the T, I don't agree with him all the time, just most of the time! I am aware that different contexts call for different actions..
That's all cool.. whatever floats your boat.. all I'm saying is "be yourself" is the most generic wishy washy advice on the planet and most people don't know what to do with it!
Faaacccttttsss. ✊✊
My god I am so confused.....
We are a bit conditioned as women to contact men and thank them for a nice time after a date, it's called good manners. If you've done this a few times (three times plus) it starts to feel like you initiate all contact. If its got to this stage and you are doubting intent...... wait, hold fire. If they are interested they WILL contact you and you have asserted a bit of status as a high value woman. If not let it go.
This is probably one of the best videos I seen about No Contact. Thanks Elliot!
No contact worked for me. By telling him to not contact me until he got a job or could pay me back for all the money I've given him....haven't heard from him since. No contact teaches you who is genuine and who is not.
No, it doesn't work at all. i would only ever do no contact if I'm truly no longer interested in a man.
I've gone no contact with a narcissistic gaslighting individual for a month now, and I got a message halfway in the month stating "are you happy now?". I never responded. Roughly 10 days later, a quote is put up as his profile pic - "When the wrong people leave your life, the right things start to happen" lol....
Elliott but most importantly if he LOVES U then he will definitely come back. Because if he or she loves u being apart will drive him/her crazy and they will want to get back together. Nothing beats being in love with a person
Christine Negron it's the truth
Thank you
This is TRUE I know my man is unstable and he goes away to level up and keepa coming back more mature and focused
No contact works if you walked away from a toxic a-- narcissist. Your kitty is so beautiful. I don't NEED him to circle back around with his foolishness.
IMO you shouldn't have to read a book to hook a man... BE YOURSELF AND THE RIGHT MAN WILL LIKE YOU FOR THAT
I was with my ex bf for 2 years. He left and then 2 months later he was in a new relationship. I believe they met on Tinder. We’ve been broken up for 4 months. His new gf and him have been together for 2 months 🙄🤦🏼♀️. A few days ago they got engaged. Posted it on fb. The next day they got professional photos done and posted those too. I was devestated. I’m doing better today but, WTF is happening right now!?!?!!!?!?!!!
Diva R oh really?
Try to move on now. He’s done and he belongs to someone else. Please have some self respect and move on from him. He’s not the one for you. I always believe that certain events set certain events in motion. Nothing in life is coincidence. Your break up was pre set. Nothing you could e done could’ve stopped it. He wasn’t for you. You have to accept it now. He is engaged and the engagement can still be broken but the chances of that happening are low to none. Be firm and move on. I wish you the best.
I was in a similar situation as you are right now. After 9 years, he broke up with me, and got engaged 8 months later. What I did was to stay away from social media for months. I also traveled overseas to meet with some friends. It was very healing. Nowadays I don't have the urge to look for him anymore. I gained my freedom, my peace, a higher awareness of myself and what I want from life, and many more. Yes I still think about him, but in a way, I don't miss him anymore. You will heal, and become stronger, I promise you. You will get through this.
Hayati Hayati very well said and thanks for sharing your story with us. Im glad you hVe moved on. And you are happy. I was not in this boat but i dated someone briefly and i became attached to the guy who ended up dumping me for reasons unknown. I am tryna move on as well and i find comfort in all our stories in this little community we’ve created for each other. God bless us all. Love will find us eventually when we least expect it.
@@asmallbitchybanana I am sorry that the guy left you without telling you why. The reasons my ex left me were not satisfactory, and I had a feeling he and his fiancé met before we broke up. I didn't confront him, didn't say or do anything out of revenge. I cried every day for an entire year. Right now I am still single, but I am at peace with it.
You are strong, even at times when you feel weak. Make peace with the not knowing, and make your own closure. Sometimes the closure is as simple as, we were not right for each other. I still have my sad days (the breakup was early last year), but I can feel that the grief is not as deep now, and the pain not as intense. May you find the love that you want, and may it make you forget all the others who came before him 😘 *hugs*
One thing I’ve learn is that if that man loves you , You won’t have a doubt and if you have a doubt most likely he doesn’t really care . No contact he will be ok with out you reaching out and he might contact back just bcz his bored or lonly. It’s best to used no contact to just move on .
HE'S NOT INVESTED. HE'S NOT HOOKED.
ONE, BECAUSE YOU LET HIM.
TWO, BECAUSE HE TAKES ADVANTAGE.
YOU ARE THE BEST DATING COACH.
DIRECT, HONEST, TRUTHFUL, WORKS.
Did the no contact thing and he didn’t come back 😪
But I guess it was for the better. And he lives in an different state
They dont always come back. My opinion is, no contact can work two ways. First, you are doing it for yourself for your own peace of mind and value. For your self respect. In this scenario you may never see him ever again and you must be prepared because he may not return ever. The second one is that he may return because the absence and scarcity made him realize how valuable you were to him in which case, its up to you to take him back but what does that say about him and it seems like your behavior and willingness to hang around and wait for him too indicates low self esteem on your part that youre willing to wait for someone who is unsure of your value to begin with? Do no contact with the intention that he may never return and you are done and no longer hoping. Its hars because you love him and youre expecting him to come back but steel yourself for the possibility that he may never and no contact in this case was to help you realize it was never meant.
Watch the video. It's not to get him back. If he left you - he wanted to leave, you can't do anything about it. Date multiple guys at once (not sleep) have options and stop obsessing over one, you will save much time.
I M A QYN all i said was that women use it as a tool to get a man back. They wait around hoping he’ll come around which Elliot himself said in the video. No comtact should be done with the intention that he may never come back and be prepared for that because thats the absolute truth.
My very first bf reached out after NC of 16 years....one reached aftr yrs and we nvr were in a serious relationship...they always reach out aftr nc eventually
Cant wait for the next book. Appreciate the work! Thank god for TH-cam and your books!! I know tinder etc is no good because of competition but i dont go out much and no other way of meeting anyone so i guess i have to be the best option i can be and hope.
No contact is for me. To heal and decompress. Not to trick someone into coming back.
This is so true! Called a player move. I ignore you and you chase me. Once I stop because I do not have opinions I throw you a bone.
Tim Johnson
Thanks for the info...so what do we do with the bone?
lol
@@RealLadi228 Hey love! Throw it out with the garbage! That bone is not only yours. It belongs to whomever he will give it to 😉
Tim Johnson
you really know this guy well!!!
wow!!!
passing up on that ride😢😂
you are the best!
Thanks 😎
@@RealLadi228 😘
Tim Johnson
"He not looking for me in someone else but he won't find me in someone else"...
Author unknown
lbvvs!!!
After a 2 year relationship my bf decided it was over out of the blue. On July 15, I stopped all contact, followed your advice 100 percent. Two days ago hes begging me back.
At least I’m not the only person who swings and cradles their cat.
We need those cat pouch sweaters with the hanging tassels that double as cat toys 😂. Then we can wear them as we watch these videos and wonder, what are we doing wrong?
Elliott, thank you for your videos. I am an older divorced woman, advise like this, is so helpful. Keep up the good work. Also, I think you are so funny.
Great information. That is one beautiful cat!
I love your video's. Thank you! 😊
Relationships require balance, not constant hot and cold. If it goes cold, it's dead. Leave it alone and move on.
Oh my I had to say I love your cat !!!!! 😻😻😻😻. And I agree with you . Thanks for your advice!!!!
OMG! I’m so bad at picking up man ... and as the result I’m still single, But, You’re awesome, you’re fun and your advices make total sense to me! 👍☘️🤗
I just want to regain my sanity...... he’s in every conversation and literally ruling my life by my choice. I need to be free although we have some business ties but I really don’t even care. That’s why I’m doing it.
Love the way you think. However, try being more structured and better define how to "no contact". When in a relationship, call the guy out. When just dating, respect his decision and move on with your life. Correct?
Yes, I've had two very long-term relationships. In both cases, over time I found these guys will do less or see what all they can get away with. I know it sounds crazy, but you have to set standards from the very beginning and hold to those standards. You as the girl, have to also take the responsibility of the relationship. And these are grown men where you'd think they'd grow up and settle down and realize their age. In both cases, no and usually they get bad advice from their own family or friends. And then they'll have the sibling who dumps their relationship crap on him, and he can't separate the two. THey'll start out like I'll treat you like how you treat me-but in reality that's not the case. You want the man who wants the family with you.
You are making me laugh, and I absolutely agree with you. The cat is a star in the video
I like the little baby intro with begira/elvis 😂
Facts 👏🏼 this is a new perspective
No contact helps put my ego in a high level so I can meditate on how I can do better with a Brad Pitt look-a-like!
Very good and to the point
Love your advice Elliot
Love you, Elliot!
Great advice..
Would be great after this to have a video on what to reply IF he comes back? Do you ignore totally or play it cool but distant? Same goes in case you bump into him by coincidence.. thanks again for your videos! Much enjoy them and the cute cats :)
You are so funny and you have helped me soooo much !!
100% correct Elliot....
I have a question for a video I’d love you to cover. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place with dating. I have PTSD. I have significant challenges because of that. I don’t work. But I squeeze whatever I can out of my life. I’m studying psychology, hoping to work again. I have put my heart and soul into recovery, and I believe I’ve addressed so many of the things I need to be relationship ready, I think I have a lot to offer. Here’s the catch, dating others with mental health issues means they might drag me down, they haven’t done the work I have (that’s rare). Dating mentally healthy men, they always slowly back up (and I completely understand why). The only men who are interested are narcissistic or needy clingy.
How do I find the balance between being honest with men about my challenges and not scaring them off? When should I tell them. I try to paint it in the best light as possible...do I just need to accept a healthy relationship is not on the cards for me atm?
Your hair is fabulous; so much so that I’m distracted watching all the ways it moves. Lol.
If he comes back around.. he goes back to the back of the line & has to re-work himself back to #1
L I know someone who can help you get him back
L A very strong powerful man message him now on whatsapp +2348068716785
Alex Vicky Thank you, but no thanks.. I’m in a space of trusting & allowing everything to unfold as it should.
For every situation where you lost the dignity works.
Your cat is so cute! Definitely need to make a debut more often
Hii Elliot 😊.. Thanks for the video.. I have a question.. How about the no contact after a break up?
Ive only heard of "no contact" when you are dealing with a narcissist. This is just way too much...if he doesnt know what he wants then f* him (and i dont mean sexually). Lol...thank u, next! Thanks for the inside insight.
i look forward to your book
Can you make a video that addresses what to do when he comes back around?
Oh my god everything is already ready 😂😂 gonna go it ladies
True we have to control ourselves and our emotions when a guy mess with your mind and probably do not really care about you as much as you care about you. You will get hurt in the process if he is not the right one. Say elliot your cat looks just like the one i lost last year. Now that was my baby. Your cat is amazingly beautiful!
Dont be fooled, most of the time they only come back for all the reasons hes saying.
Most of the time its not you.
F!#% these kind of men.
Your spot on.
This just happen to me.
The best advice to give a woman should come from a man.
Spot on dude
Can you do a video about a guy who wants to take things slow? Someone who you’ve had history with, just started seeing each other again, agreed to not see other people, but wants to take things slow.
It really helped..✌️😅
Love the cats😂🥰 and you!
Is it the time for no contact..
if all of a sudden he doesn't contact you and you havn't talked about break up...
Okay.... So what do you do???? When he pulls away and then comes back. Pulls away etc. How do you handle it?
I just love when you show us the cats
I feel like you have good, important things to say but I wish the videos were a little more focused and succinct. Like point A to B to C
thank you for this important message! your advice is 100% spot on correct. l know many viewers will find it hard to accept because no contact has become the holy grail of many advisors, its a very destructive step and only leads to frustrated loneliness and battered self esteem in almost all cases. (The ladies commenting that no contact works are probably being hoovered by narcissists and dont realise it) no contact has NEVER ever worked for me. l have learned better strategies that actually get me what l want from the guys l want (and l tend to go for high value guys)
Which are?
Elsa Novelli which are more intelligent and nuanced and would probably take a youtube video to explain. alternatively you could purchase my mini e-guide online - do let me know if you would like to purchase
Inbox me, im curious ashsqx324
@@ashsqx3246 mail me pls
Love your humor
If I have to reach out the first time and you still haven’t texted me back with in a week then I just block the guy honestly 🤷🏽♀️
The cat thing is adorable!! 😘
Bit of an odd question, What if you and your partner were friends first but when you broke up because of long distance and we both agreed to do no contact would they still reach out? He said we were friends before and will always be, When we got together he said "It's always been me" and told me he loved me all the time and everyday which I've never had before... I am planning to move to the city and he knows that, I've done no contact since he retuned my belongings.. which has been a month now..
I go no contact when he has offended me too much for me to even speak, or I feel it is making his lack of attraction worse to stay in his life. If he doesn't want me, because I made mistakes or because he is a shit, there is the door.
And he won't get any histrionics or ass kissing from me. Who cares if he feels better, I do too. Someone pulling away feels bad. He better stay gone though, dignity before dick. Not even a contest.
I kind of scared him of. Im leaving for vacation for 3 weeks. Should I just ask him to hang out when I come back? Im trying to just stay low for a few weeks and not be so much on sosical media. Cause I did it all wrong. Havent had a boyfriend so idk what Im doing. Should he know that I havent had a boyfriend before?
I don't get it. I pulled away because he pulled away. It's long distance so it can't work out. He texts me out of the blue and says he misses me. I said I miss him too. He says whatever, I don't him up all the time. He doesn't know that I think about him 24/7 lmaooo. What is life.
Block his number and move on.
I dated a long distance guy, messaged and called every single day, we were together in person over the holidays when he came home, then pulls back when went back to base. Then he suddenly is in love with "the one who got away", who apparently stops contact and he starts contacting me again, telling me how much he misses me. He is probably messaging her the same.
Anyway, RUN!! Just block him and run the other direction. Guys like this only looking for attention when they are bored