@Aluka Emmanuel yeah, as if I have NO idea this is a scam! Umm.. but NO, THANK YOU. We have PLENTY of very proficient and qualified people here in the US if I shld need any assistance.
I did no contact by blocking him. He tried to reach out but I still ignored him. I'm so God damn proud of myself bc I really liked him. But I just CAN'T let someone disrespect me. I don't care how much I like or love the person
You wouldn’t talk to someone you were dating everyday? Wow. Did I hear that right? Boy... a man who’s truly interested in you messages you to check in at leasttt once a day. Expecting someone you’re dating to talk to you every day IS a realistic standard. Don’t accept anything less.
I pray the universe grant your heart desire Hey friends I got my relationship fixed with the help of this great spiritualist who brought my ex after many months of separation,,, ,,
Agreed...it doesnt have to be an itemized list of what you did or are doing but a "good morning, have a great day" or "good night hope your day was awesome" is perfectly fine.
When guys don't give you what you deserve, call him out then move on 100%. Remove them from your social media, do not reach out. It may be months or years later but he will circle back with regrets.
I have mine matched on bumble after 4month of investing a long relatio ship, idk if i should unmatch him after days of no contact, when we use to do it everyday.. i reached out n called him out on it, n he replied apoligizing saying im sorry my dad got admitted which i believe it, but i also notice he got back on n turn his location on bumble meaning he is actively on... after that , its 4 days n still nothing. Idk anymore i hate this shit
I did no contact for the first week. I really thought he would call and see what was going on. He didn't , so I reached out and we fell back into the same cycle. I realize he doesn't care and he's never going to change. I've not contacted him for a week now. I don't plan on ever contacting him again. But the realization was painful.
@@freshtamadrid2423 I really hope you leave him, he's wasting your time , and in that time someone better could come along . I'm happy mine didn't swing by because I know seeing him face to face girl he knows how to use his words to get what he wants. It would be so much harder. I pray strength for you.
Guys act this way cause most of the females are easy nowadays, and they know that there are girls who will give them what they want, so they dont feel like being bothered at all. Keeping high standards means keeping wrong guys away.
He comes back for his ego and to check if he can still have you and nothing else. A man that's trying serious about you isn't ok with losing you if it was the real deal. 99% of the time they come back because of their ego because he's been rejected elsewhere, bored, etc.
Not 100% true most of us want to change and realize we have issues that need to be worked out . Love is weird and strange theirs no correct way to be in a relationship
Thanks for your input @TBD? I think I've just had some bad luck. I do believe good men exist and actually some come back because they feel something for you and are truly regretful
I agree with you. I think he comes back for one or all these reasons 1. His ego. He wants to know if he’s still got it 2. He’s checking if you have a boyfriend. If not, he’s gonna try to get back in there 3. He’s horny 4. He’s realized the grass isn’t greener on the other side. 5. Tiny percentage come back because they’ve had time to heal and reflect. The only way to know (if you even want to) is let him in back in very very slowly. Don’t give him an ounce more than what he’s giving you. Watch him and mirror his actions. If he’s only texting every 3 days and they’re vague then you should also be vague. It might seem like a game but my point is let him prove himself. Always know that you’re the prize
@Katy Cunningham Yes, people don't change unless some serious trauma makes them rethink their whole existence. This kind of breakthrough is rare. Going back to an ex is like that verse in the Bible that talks about a dog going back to its vomit. Unless it's the father of your children, where you owe the kids to try and do everything you can to salvage the marriage for their sake, there is no one on earth worth going back to and risk getting burned again. Maybe it's just me but once the beautiful thing about loving someone is seeing them through an idealized view, even if they're an imperfect human. Once they shatter that special thing what is else is there? Just someone to relieve sexual tension with, and what woman wants that?
Finally one reasonable "no contact rule". If you go no contact, then you must have a good reason for it, and you don't reach out ever! When (if) the other party realises their wrong doings, AND if they see a value in your relationship - they will contact you. And then you can negotiate. Otherwise, they'll just assume that you going no contact is just a bluff, which only decreases your value as a person. Good luck! 🍀
The more I learn the less I want to be involved. At any rate, I want to say Thank You for all the insight. You seem to be on of the better dating coaches out here. I feel you are actually trying to help women understand.
Wooow so if he comes back, how do you know how long he has to prove himself? Or if he really has proved himself before you show him you care and like him again? I personally don't think this one I dated, went on vacation with, dated for 1 month and I really started liking him a looot, is coming back, but slyte chance he comes back, I understand don't jump right back in, but what should he do for how long to show me if he is or even can give me what I want and need from him? Not material wise, heart felt and emotionally wise. How should I know, he is real from the heart or just wants to get it in? It's only been 4 days, but I do miss him, but don't ever want to be anyone's fool🤷🏽♀️
@@browneyes6795 Honestly, if he's already shown you who he is..I'd just leave him. I understand where Elliott is coming from but personally I don't have patience when it comes to guys like that. You have one time to show me what you think of me i.e. Being disrespectful, dishonest, untrustworthy, etc ....and I'm done. Because their behavior is typically who they are. Very few guys decide to actually change...
@@KayciazWorld You are 100% right. From my personal experience, when I gave too many chances to guys who were stringing me along, playing hot and cold, coming back after ghosting with grand statements of love and I took them back, the same cycle was repeated over and over again and nothing changed until I cut the cord forever. Once a man shows you who is , believe him and don't waste your time giving him a second chance or in my case multiple chances. Men do not appreciate a good woman.
Jasmine is 100% correct. If you take someone back, someone who gave you the silent treatment (and I don’t care if there was a death in their family) they will start taking you for granted and never stop that cycle. Texting or calling someone takes two seconds, if you are the woman he is crazy about, he will reach out. If he goes 2-3 days without a word (no matter what the circumstances are, even if you argued) then he just doesn’t value you and never will.
Because men in love have the urge to reach out to the woman they are crazy about. Not doing so would be too much to handle. A man in love can’t help himself but reach out
We have to learn to be comfortable being alone. We also have to understand that we can be a great catch and still not be the one for a lot of the men that we meet. Our he is a lesson not necessarily your husband. Give him some room to show you who he is and act accordingly it’s no script needed. These guys know what they are doing and you gotta be the one to tell him keep it real or keep stepping and mean it.
I pray the universe grant your heart desire Hey friends I got my relationship fixed with the help of this great spiritualist who brought my ex after many months of separation,,, ,,
Excellent advice Elliot. He has ghosted me and I have a feeling it's b/c he is not only an avoidant, but b/c I told him something that reminded him of my late husband, . If he does want to come back, he's going to have to start from square 1 if he wants to change/see me again.
That was a brilliant video, Elliot! Thank you!. I realized that harsh truth after my divorce, when men have been stringing me along for months and years, going hot and cold, pulling away, coming back with grand statements of love and although I went completely non contact, I always took them back, for them to repeat the same cycle over and over again until I could not take it any more and cut the cord forever.
I believe I’m doing the no contact right and for the right reasons..I’m moving on been dating and focusing on me..I’m just letting it go although it is really hard when you really wanted it to be something meaningful after talking for months and putting in so much effort and communication..but it is what it is! I obviously didn’t mean anything to him or else he wouldn’t have put himself in a position to lose me..
That last sentence…. Yeah, no. He didn’t put himself in a position to lose you, you put yourself in this position. Did you communicate what you needed? Did you deliberately say and spell it out, or did you assume he would know “if he really liked you”. I’m curious though. Have you been in contact with him in the last 10 months?
I pray the universe grant your heart desire Hey friends I got my relationship fixed with the help of this great spiritualist who brought my ex after many months of separation,,, ,,
Very true, if you have different values, it cannot work until you both agree to compromise. Some guys are like little boys and will try to brush concerns off without acknowledgement
No contact means 'bye bye, I'm soo done' I still hurt but you're not worth my time anymore. I'm so done. They never were my family in the first place, and yet going to try to hurt my feelings? I'd rather be single.
This was "Outstanding" Elliott, You're getting so much better at explaining , or either your information is finally sinking in !! A big "Thank You" to you!!!
Being single is AMAZING. Seriously, this gam okay crap is toxic and unhealthy. I have my 2 kids they are almost grown and I intend to be single until it’s my time. These attachments are so unhealthy with the mind games. Not worth it
Yep, I had this relationship for 5 years. I didn't realize it, but he was taking me for granted. Your right, you need standards. Regardless of how cute he is, or how nice he seems. If you don't have standards, he starts getting these weird ideas that will surprise you. Don't make HIM the priority. I know it seems the opposite of a relationship. He's right, make HIM reach out to you. Yes, assume he doesn't want the relationship. He has to prove to you that he does want one.
I love you Elliott! I did “no contact” for the wrong reasons….and that energy is felt. They know your BS’ing. Keep working on yourself ladies -so when you do go “no contact” , you are truly done ☺️
Omg this is so true, I was in a relationship for 2 years everything was good , until he wasn’t putting less effort, I broke up he came back but wanted to be casual after been in a serious relationship, no way I said no
Indiffrence it what you need too feel. Angry is a high emotion, sadness, love all high emotions. You can tell if someone is indifferent about you. And thats how you not should act but hust really feel. Easy to say i’m 6 months in NC and still miss him while he is going from angry towards me to missing to checking to.... he isn’t indifferent. He has still high emotions. He still cares tho 😏 but I don’t bye
You are the only dating coach to say these...I have commented so many times, and how they are educating women how to be attractive, what men want stuff. But none say until they kiss the bottom of your feet.
The best advice I've heard from any coach: "If women would say, 'I won't sleep with you unless you like the dust underneath my boots' " Thanks, Elliot! My backbone is straightening out now! 👍
"Hold your standards" raise your water level and don't date d bags. So done with losers. Single for 3 years, getting my self love on. Best decision I've made regarding men probably ever...
I pray the universe grant your heart desire Hey friends I got my relationship fixed with the help of this great spiritualist who brought my ex after many months of separation,,, ,,
Hi Elliot! I really love your videos, specially your honesty! I was thinking about do no- contact with a guy I like so much but I know he doesn't deserve me. He is a player, he is playing with me and his girlfriend simultaneously. I was thinking about doing it in order to get his attention and I have realized I would be doing for a wrong reason. Thank you so much. I don't know exactly what I am going to do with that sh*t I am feeling but I appreciate so honest advice:3
I am not lowering my standards at all. I just do things in a passive aggressive way which turns into me being hurt, then him calling, then him telling me he is hurt, then me trying to explain soooo I’m just going to try and communicate better and not be wishy washy. I’m Christian so I’m not having sex until marriage.
Sometimes guys think I'm doing no contact/sulking when I'm just really wary and distant with men :( actually, this came up in the recent live chat, I was saying I wouldn't let a guy know if i wanted a commitment on the fourth date. I can see how this looks like playground tactics but I just need longer to read them and make sure I'm not gonna end up in a hospital again :(
@@lisabuckner243 Hi, I remember you from the chat :) i was made by 2 people who were too young to know better and should never have married but hey , here I am lol. Thanks for the recommend. I try not to be defined by the past and just want to look to the future. A big part of that is that i need to know more about the male mind for keeping safe, not into relationships much at all really, so I'm an outlier!
Coach, in the past, women across the board used to have good healthy standards for their own protection. Men can live a lifetime of casual sex and have various "aboads" with various easy doormat- women. Men respect eachother ,but pray on desperate women. Thank you for the enlightenment
I lower my standards for a guy , who have to work intensive for 15-20 years of his life to achieve what I have achieved in my life. He was the one chasing me around and being so nice to me in the beginning. I wasn’t easy but so Naive and only looked good in a person. He once said ‚ sorry but yes you’re easy‘ when I asked him ‚“ Am I too easy for you?“ that destroyed my self esteem and took so long to get back to being myself again. I wasn’t playing mind games, I let him continue with his behavior like partying until 3:00am in the more knowing that I have an exam on next day, his friends were so important, i felt so neglected . He broke my personal boundaries ,that lead me to depression and anxiety. Girls learn from my story and set boundaries , never lower your standard. You should be able to say what you can accept and what you can’t. He will take note in everything. If you let him break lt once , twice and thrice , he will destroy you whole as a person. Find yourself first before you find someone . Man should add value in your life not depression, anxiety and pills.
This might not be a serious question but me and my boyfriend (not sure if we are dating) are in a no contact situation for about 10 days. We did it because we were fighting so much and we lost the respect for one another. He blames me for everything.. tells me i’m the problem and I just don’t feel that I’m entirely responsible for everything because he has done some cruel things to me but he never takes accountability as much as I do. It was frustrating to talk to him. So we did the 10 day no contact and now i feel like he’s gonna forget me and say “I’m way better off without her I can do better.” I’m so scared of that idea. I did everything for this guy helped him a lot in many ways. I just don’t feel valued so that’s what the root of the problem is here. I respond to that. I hope I can get some hope in a positive way
He ended it with me 3 days ago in a really angry and overreactive way, saying id made him feel small and inadequate and swore at me. As i had tried two says prior to tackle the subject that i like birthday presents as he never got me anything. We did go for a meal which i was grateful for but the previous week he’d pushed me away and wanted space. The reason for space was id established he didnt want me to be his girlfriend after 8 weeks of dating. So naturally i was looking for any hint of effort/care. Probably looks needy but ‘space’ hit me hard. Im trying my best to forget and move on.
I just had a guy tell me that I was pushing him and he needed some 'space'. He tried to say his moodiness was my fault. I tried the no contact thing and I think he likes not hearing from me. I think I'm doing him a favor by staying away. I think I'm going to come back around him in one of those NASA t-shirts that say "I need space". haha
Once a guy starts with the BS " I need space", the wisest thing for you to do is to cut the cord permanently. I know it's very hard, but it spares you all the heartache and wasted time.
Ladies, it’s very simple. If you act normally, and have absolutely normal expectations, but the guy is feeding you BS, then: - he feels suffocated : bullshit, he just doesn’t like you enough; -he doesn’t buy you gifts, he wants you to make an “effort”, he wants women to chase, he isn’t “old school”: bullshit, he doesn’t like you enough. Have him meet a girl he likes and watch him buying gifts & paying drinks and dinners; - he doesn’t know if he wants a relationship as he is busy/traumatized/has responsibilities/too stressed/ doesn’t know what he wants: bullshit, he doesn’t like you enough. He has time to (try and) sleep with you, but can’t dedicate the same time to getting to know you? Stop finding excuses & stop fangirling and chasing these guys. Leave them alone. Every man deserves a chance, and one chance only. If you tell him & he still continues with the same behaviour, it’s not a coincidence, he isn’t forgetful- he just doesn’t care about you. Cut your losses & stop wasting energy on these guys. The minute you feel confused or played, then it’s already over.
@@astridkate5328 not really you both meet in the middle or thing ain't gonna work. Buy him something too. Stop using men for money why we don't look you woman always want but never going
Who are you that you think he can change for you? But this is how things go, if he realises you are that one and he can lose you forever, he will change. If not, it has never been worth getting involved in this. It's proven - men need time and space to miss you, women forget and detach along with passing time.
Elliot is right! IF the guy treated you like a shit, then this is sure that he wants back for benefits. But if you met each other 1 month and then decided not to be romantic, and if there were not at all or bad relationship between you both, then there is a chance for new relationship in the future.
Elliot I love your videos. Been watching them for years. I’ve got a problem with the father of my child completely disrespecting me. I just had his baby 3 weeks ago and I’m having such a hard time. I need some advice or coaching
Hi, I was in a long distance relationship and we broke up because of that . We had strong bond and thought we could at least talk and try to be friends . He is an introvert person , he takes time to open up . He was at least taking the leap of faith of opening up his vulnerable side . But I guess I was selfish and wanted more so I used “ no contact rule” and guess what? It made it worse . He is now more formal than ever and I’m confused as to shut him down or still have hope . So no, it doesn’t work for every situation. Some relationships have no other choice but to break the bond for temporary purpose but that doesn’t mean like forever. You can be friends or why to tag that relationship for that matter ? If you really care about someone - be with that someone - don’t play mind games
Good points.. i am increasing my standard everytime I do no contact. He needs to prove it first and treat me like a queen. Don't give s*x right away when he comes back. And men always come back for our assets of course.
Well..thank you for the advice. That was really helpful. I like how honestand direct you are. As a woman, I d just have to say.. if I go no contact and act like I really don't care, then I really don't care anymore. Really. And i don't want him back, I don't want to win anyone back. It's over. So if I still care and have to go no contact,I will still care , I will just pretend that I don't. I think that we woman once we are done with someone, we truly are. Most of ex relationships do come back but they always do that when it's already too late. So Really..it brings absolutely nothing. I never take them back. I did this mistake once with my ex who I loved more than anything..I will never do it again. It is healthier to cry your heart out and get over someone who keeps ignoring you and disrespecting you. They will do it again.. very sadly
Hi Elliot, I want to buy your course but I had a look and I have questions about the price..💭 Also, thank you so much. You're communicating so clearly how women get screwed over, finally, no bs! Love it! 🥰 We lack understanding these things logically fr. You're also helping me understand men in general. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I probably did no contact a little too late but it was unintentional honestly. I woke up one day and was DONE being dumb and too tired to care anymore. Cut him off back in April and haven't heard from him since. Do I miss him...a little. I miss the companionship/friendship. But if I can't get what I need from him then I'm moving on to someone who can. Looking out for and loving myself more these days. ✌😘
@@xmswayzemx He probably still does think of you . You were the only one that didn’t feed into his BS, the only one that probably had the most self respect to go about your business and not accept less . You won boo, love him from afar and continue loving yourself 💕
I went no contact over 4 years ago with the intention of staying no contact. He reached out 1 week and 3 weeks into it, but I never replied. Best decision I ever made.
He told his parents about me after our first date. He told his best friend about our chemistry; his best friend said “yeah you guys are getting married.” He said he never wanted to make me feel sad, like my ex did. He said he wanted to wife me up. He gave me his hoodies and pants. He said I didn’t mess anything up, said we’d do so well in a tree house together. That was the last thing he said to me. I’ve been through so much damn heartache this past year. It took a lot for me to come around to dating again. I keep watching these types of videos to understand what’s going on, because things aren’t adding up to me.
How do women not know these things? I watched this out of curiosity but the comment section is shocking. Sorry ladies, I too am a lady. No way in hell do I put myself or standards down for a guy (or anyone for that matter!) Come correct or don't come at all. U don't want me 1, I don't want you 100. Return the same energy. Simple as that! This guy is spot on. I guess I know the game cos I come from a father who taught me from a very young age "don't ever let a man trick you". Goodluck to the ladies here that are struggling though.
I am in no contact.. I feel hurt, because he is calling and texting. I feel very sure that I am done with him. I don't know how he was able to ignore me for a week or 2..
truly DONE means BLOCKED from everywhere! otherwise you keep expecting them to reach out, you remain interested in that person! Don't fool yourself, honesty begins with oneself!
I agree with you on every woman holding the standard. The reason why men don’t change is because there’s always some woman that’s willing to be his rug ughhhhh it’s sickening
Basically, act as if the person died. Literally dead. Games only work if you want a toxic relationship.
🪦🥀
I have no idea what happened to the ex. I asked him why he sent me a catfished photo of his son to show my daughter. End of story.
I'm doing that and he is desperate and obsessed with me. I kinda feel sorry for him.
Don't ever make him feel more special than you. You are the special one. Treat yourself accordingly.
Yes. He is just a person
Sadly many women are desperate for a status or validation from men.
My mom always told be the biggest “punishment” you can give a man is to walk away and NEVER go back. Well, now, sadly, it’s come in handy!
@Aluka Emmanuel yeah, as if I have NO idea this is a scam! Umm.. but NO, THANK YOU. We have PLENTY of very proficient and qualified people here in the US if I shld need any assistance.
I did no contact by blocking him. He tried to reach out but I still ignored him. I'm so God damn proud of myself bc I really liked him. But I just CAN'T let someone disrespect me. I don't care how much I like or love the person
Say it again
Same … i just cant allow it , i love myself too much
How do you know hr reached out if he were "blocked"? 😂 hmm
@@softlife45 u can check
@@softlife45they call or text from a fake number. There’s apps. Let them pay a little extra just to sweat lol.
You wouldn’t talk to someone you were dating everyday? Wow. Did I hear that right? Boy... a man who’s truly interested in you messages you to check in at leasttt once a day. Expecting someone you’re dating to talk to you every day IS a realistic standard. Don’t accept anything less.
I pray the universe grant your heart desire Hey friends I got my relationship fixed with the help of this great spiritualist who brought my ex after many months of separation,,, ,,
✝13046489694⏯⏯
Save his contact and message him on WhatApp for help....
Period… that’s just protocol.. these are Manboys 🤣🤣🤣… I pray for women!
Agreed...it doesnt have to be an itemized list of what you did or are doing but a "good morning, have a great day" or "good night hope your day was awesome" is perfectly fine.
When guys don't give you what you deserve, call him out then move on 100%. Remove them from your social media, do not reach out. It may be months or years later but he will circle back with regrets.
Should I block him? Or keep the convo open for communication?
@@keyaapathak nope block 😭
@@keyaapathak block him
I have mine matched on bumble after 4month of investing a long relatio ship, idk if i should unmatch him after days of no contact, when we use to do it everyday.. i reached out n called him out on it, n he replied apoligizing saying im sorry my dad got admitted which i believe it, but i also notice he got back on n turn his location on bumble meaning he is actively on... after that , its 4 days n still nothing. Idk anymore i hate this shit
Blocking is the best medicine!
Assuming that he doesn't want a relationship is the best advice. It's better to be pleasantly surprised than disappointed.
I did no contact for the first week. I really thought he would call and see what was going on. He didn't , so I reached out and we fell back into the same cycle. I realize he doesn't care and he's never going to change. I've not contacted him for a week now. I don't plan on ever contacting him again. But the realization was painful.
No thank you, I don't want him back .
@@freshtamadrid2423 I've learned when they do this to just cut them off, it's a waste of time and they always go back to the same patterns.
@@freshtamadrid2423 I really hope you leave him, he's wasting your time , and in that time someone better could come along . I'm happy mine didn't swing by because I know seeing him face to face girl he knows how to use his words to get what he wants. It would be so much harder. I pray strength for you.
@@bollagurl thank you 😊
How long the No contact passed before you reached out to him..??..
Guys act this way cause most of the females are easy nowadays, and they know that there are girls who will give them what they want, so they dont feel like being bothered at all. Keeping high standards means keeping wrong guys away.
Exactly so!
He comes back for his ego and to check if he can still have you and nothing else. A man that's trying serious about you isn't ok with losing you if it was the real deal. 99% of the time they come back because of their ego because he's been rejected elsewhere, bored, etc.
Not 100% true most of us want to change and realize we have issues that need to be worked out . Love is weird and strange theirs no correct way to be in a relationship
Thanks for your input @TBD? I think I've just had some bad luck. I do believe good men exist and actually some come back because they feel something for you and are truly regretful
I agree with you. I think he comes back for one or all these reasons
1. His ego. He wants to know if he’s still got it
2. He’s checking if you have a boyfriend. If not, he’s gonna try to get back in there
3. He’s horny
4. He’s realized the grass isn’t greener on the other side.
5. Tiny percentage come back because they’ve had time to heal and reflect. The only way to know (if you even want to) is let him in back in very very slowly. Don’t give him an ounce more than what he’s giving you. Watch him and mirror his actions. If he’s only texting every 3 days and they’re vague then you should also be vague. It might seem like a game but my point is let him prove himself. Always know that you’re the prize
@Katy Cunningham Yes, people don't change unless some serious trauma makes them rethink their whole existence. This kind of breakthrough is rare. Going back to an ex is like that verse in the Bible that talks about a dog going back to its vomit. Unless it's the father of your children, where you owe the kids to try and do everything you can to salvage the marriage for their sake, there is no one on earth worth going back to and risk getting burned again. Maybe it's just me but once the beautiful thing about loving someone is seeing them through an idealized view, even if they're an imperfect human. Once they shatter that special thing what is else is there? Just someone to relieve sexual tension with, and what woman wants that?
@@tbd7059 I agree with this! I’ve seen it
Finally one reasonable "no contact rule". If you go no contact, then you must have a good reason for it, and you don't reach out ever! When (if) the other party realises their wrong doings, AND if they see a value in your relationship - they will contact you. And then you can negotiate. Otherwise, they'll just assume that you going no contact is just a bluff, which only decreases your value as a person. Good luck! 🍀
Like I always said “LEAVE THEM RESPECTING YOU.” & most importantly “LEAVE RESPECTING YOURSELF”
The more I learn the less I want to be involved. At any rate, I want to say Thank You for all the insight. You seem to be on of the better dating coaches out here. I feel you are actually trying to help women understand.
Wooow so if he comes back, how do you know how long he has to prove himself? Or if he really has proved himself before you show him you care and like him again? I personally don't think this one I dated, went on vacation with, dated for 1 month and I really started liking him a looot, is coming back, but slyte chance he comes back, I understand don't jump right back in, but what should he do for how long to show me if he is or even can give me what I want and need from him? Not material wise, heart felt and emotionally wise. How should I know, he is real from the heart or just wants to get it in? It's only been 4 days, but I do miss him, but don't ever want to be anyone's fool🤷🏽♀️
@@browneyes6795 Honestly, if he's already shown you who he is..I'd just leave him. I understand where Elliott is coming from but personally I don't have patience when it comes to guys like that. You have one time to show me what you think of me i.e. Being disrespectful, dishonest, untrustworthy, etc ....and I'm done. Because their behavior is typically who they are. Very few guys decide to actually change...
@@KayciazWorld You are 100% right. From my personal experience, when I gave too many chances to guys who were stringing me along, playing hot and cold, coming back after ghosting with grand statements of love and I took them back, the same cycle was repeated over and over again and nothing changed until I cut the cord forever. Once a man shows you who is , believe him and don't waste your time giving him a second chance or in my case multiple chances. Men do not appreciate a good woman.
Jasmine is 100% correct. If you take someone back, someone who gave you the silent treatment (and I don’t care if there was a death in their family) they will start taking you for granted and never stop that cycle. Texting or calling someone takes two seconds, if you are the woman he is crazy about, he will reach out. If he goes 2-3 days without a word (no matter what the circumstances are, even if you argued) then he just doesn’t value you and never will.
Because men in love have the urge to reach out to the woman they are crazy about. Not doing so would be too much to handle. A man in love can’t help himself but reach out
No contact for me is for my healing...🥰
We have to learn to be comfortable being alone. We also have to understand that we can be a great catch and still not be the one for a lot of the men that we meet. Our he is a lesson not necessarily your husband. Give him some room to show you who he is and act accordingly it’s no script needed. These guys know what they are doing and you gotta be the one to tell him keep it real or keep stepping and mean it.
I pray the universe grant your heart desire Hey friends I got my relationship fixed with the help of this great spiritualist who brought my ex after many months of separation,,, ,,
✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯
Save his contact and message him on WhatApp for help...
I can recommend you to a powerful spell caster who helped my girlfriend. Getting her love back after two years of no contact
You get in contact with him on WhatsApp. He's name is Dr Oge
Excellent advice Elliot. He has ghosted me and I have a feeling it's b/c he is not only an avoidant, but b/c I told him something that reminded him of my late husband, . If he does want to come back, he's going to have to start from square 1 if he wants to change/see me again.
That was a brilliant video, Elliot! Thank you!. I realized that harsh truth after my divorce, when men have been stringing me along for months and years, going hot and cold, pulling away, coming back with grand statements of love and although I went completely non contact, I always took them back, for them
to repeat the same cycle over and over again until I could not take it any more and cut the cord forever.
They are making one crazy with that behavior! It is crazy!!!
I believe I’m doing the no contact right and for the right reasons..I’m moving on been dating and focusing on me..I’m just letting it go although it is really hard when you really wanted it to be something meaningful after talking for months and putting in so much effort and communication..but it is what it is! I obviously didn’t mean anything to him or else he wouldn’t have put himself in a position to lose me..
That last sentence…. Yeah, no.
He didn’t put himself in a position to lose you, you put yourself in this position. Did you communicate what you needed? Did you deliberately say and spell it out, or did you assume he would know “if he really liked you”.
I’m curious though. Have you been in contact with him in the last 10 months?
This video is freaking amazing 🙏
Detach from the outcome, work on yourself, live your life, get over him, stop waiting for him.
I pray the universe grant your heart desire Hey friends I got my relationship fixed with the help of this great spiritualist who brought my ex after many months of separation,,, ,,
Save his contact and message him on WhatApp for help....
✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯
Thanks Elliot. I've watched enough of your videos that I know I'm doing no contact for the right reasons. I don't low my standards anymore. Love you!
Very true, if you have different values, it cannot work until you both agree to compromise. Some guys are like little boys and will try to brush concerns off without acknowledgement
No contact means 'bye bye, I'm soo done' I still hurt but you're not worth my time anymore. I'm so done. They never were my family in the first place, and yet going to try to hurt my feelings? I'd rather be single.
This was "Outstanding" Elliott, You're getting so much better at explaining , or either your information is finally sinking in !! A big "Thank You" to you!!!
Being single is AMAZING. Seriously, this gam okay crap is toxic and unhealthy. I have my 2 kids they are almost grown and I intend to be single until it’s my time. These attachments are so unhealthy with the mind games. Not worth it
Yep, I had this relationship for 5 years. I didn't realize it, but he was taking me for granted. Your right, you need standards. Regardless of how cute he is, or how nice he seems. If you don't have standards, he starts getting these weird ideas that will surprise you. Don't make HIM the priority. I know it seems the opposite of a relationship. He's right, make HIM reach out to you. Yes, assume he doesn't want the relationship. He has to prove to you that he does want one.
I love you Elliott! I did “no contact” for the wrong reasons….and that energy is felt. They know your BS’ing. Keep working on yourself ladies -so when you do go “no contact” , you are truly done ☺️
Omg this is so true, I was in a relationship for 2 years everything was good , until he wasn’t putting less effort, I broke up he came back but wanted to be casual after been in a serious relationship, no way I said no
Indiffrence it what you need too feel. Angry is a high emotion, sadness, love all high emotions. You can tell if someone is indifferent about you. And thats how you not should act but hust really feel. Easy to say i’m 6 months in NC and still miss him while he is going from angry towards me to missing to checking to.... he isn’t indifferent. He has still high emotions. He still cares tho 😏 but I don’t bye
Love your straight forward no Bull s**t approach
You are the only dating coach to say these...I have commented so many times, and how they are educating women how to be attractive, what men want stuff. But none say until they kiss the bottom of your feet.
You probably just saved my sanity and life. So true. U put it out there so we’ll. Thank you
I'm doing no contact and told him to leave me alone.
Standards have been called out too many times so it's the last resort. 👌 🔥
That is 100% true!!! If women across the board would not put out unless men proved to them they are going to commit the they would!
The best advice I've heard from any coach:
"If women would say, 'I won't sleep with you unless you like the dust underneath my boots' "
Thanks, Elliot!
My backbone is straightening out now! 👍
"Hold your standards" raise your water level and don't date d bags. So done with losers. Single for 3 years, getting my self love on. Best decision I've made regarding men probably ever...
I pray the universe grant your heart desire Hey friends I got my relationship fixed with the help of this great spiritualist who brought my ex after many months of separation,,, ,,
✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯
you obviously care about women. i like ur videos. tysm
9:53, I never realized how true this is. Geez. I feel so bad for being "easy" and lowering my standards just because I want to keep him.
you speak truth my friends. keeping my standards in check and my boots clean.
I agree with you on the women having standards bc it’s very true !
Hi Elliot! I really love your videos, specially your honesty!
I was thinking about do no- contact with a guy I like so much but I know he doesn't deserve me. He is a player, he is playing with me and his girlfriend simultaneously. I was thinking about doing it in order to get his attention and I have realized I would be doing for a wrong reason. Thank you so much. I don't know exactly what I am going to do with that sh*t I am feeling but I appreciate so honest advice:3
What’s happening nowb
I am not lowering my standards at all. I just do things in a passive aggressive way which turns into me being hurt, then him calling, then him telling me he is hurt, then me trying to explain soooo I’m just going to try and communicate better and not be wishy washy. I’m Christian so I’m not having sex until marriage.
Make sure he's not a narcissist, make sure you are actually wrong and your not compromising your belief for his. Some Men love to play mind games.
This is so helpful. Yes it’s very exhausting when a guy doesn’t value your time and effort like they used to. Time to cut
i am going to listen to this every single day elliot
Just literally so valuable. Thanks a ton Elliot! I hope to get your course soon.
No contact = absolutely being prepared to never speak to them ever again.
You are my brother, I thank you, I apreciate you and I love you🥰
Always appreciate these little reminders. Thank you, Elliot.
He was a covert narcissist. I tried so hard. Now I’m learning
Sometimes guys think I'm doing no contact/sulking when I'm just really wary and distant with men :( actually, this came up in the recent live chat, I was saying I wouldn't let a guy know if i wanted a commitment on the fourth date. I can see how this looks like playground tactics but I just need longer to read them and make sure I'm not gonna end up in a hospital again :(
I'm gonna guess that you were raised by at least 1 narcissist or came from a toxic family, like me...if so, dr Ramani, on TH-cam is awesome! ❤
@@lisabuckner243 Hi, I remember you from the chat :) i was made by 2 people who were too young to know better and should never have married but hey , here I am lol. Thanks for the recommend. I try not to be defined by the past and just want to look to the future. A big part of that is that i need to know more about the male mind for keeping safe, not into relationships much at all really, so I'm an outlier!
Coach, in the past, women across the board used to have good healthy standards for their own protection. Men can live a lifetime of casual sex and have various "aboads" with various easy doormat- women. Men respect eachother ,but pray on desperate women. Thank you for the enlightenment
I lower my standards for a guy , who have to work intensive for 15-20 years of his life to achieve what I have achieved in my life. He was the one chasing me around and being so nice to me in the beginning. I wasn’t easy but so Naive and only looked good in a person. He once said ‚ sorry but yes you’re easy‘ when I asked him ‚“ Am I too easy for you?“ that destroyed my self esteem and took so long to get back to being myself again. I wasn’t playing mind games, I let him continue with his behavior like partying until 3:00am in the more knowing that I have an exam on next day, his friends were so important, i felt so neglected . He broke my personal boundaries ,that lead me to depression and anxiety. Girls learn from my story and set boundaries , never lower your standard. You should be able to say what you can accept and what you can’t. He will take note in everything. If you let him break lt once , twice and thrice , he will destroy you whole as a person. Find yourself first before you find someone . Man should add value in your life not depression, anxiety and pills.
This might not be a serious question but me and my boyfriend (not sure if we are dating) are in a no contact situation for about 10 days. We did it because we were fighting so much and we lost the respect for one another. He blames me for everything.. tells me i’m the problem and I just don’t feel that I’m entirely responsible for everything because he has done some cruel things to me but he never takes accountability as much as I do. It was frustrating to talk to him. So we did the 10 day no contact and now i feel like he’s gonna forget me and say “I’m way better off without her I can do better.” I’m so scared of that idea.
I did everything for this guy helped him a lot in many ways. I just don’t feel valued so that’s what the root of the problem is here. I respond to that. I hope I can get some hope in a positive way
Elliot is the absolute BEST. Been listening to him for YEARS!!!!!! 💙💙💙💙
whatzapp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he: lp you out text him now he can solve your problems :: don't waste your time here .
I watch this over and over
It’s probably the most powerful explanation I’ve even came across!
Billy Bob, Jerome... i like consistency 🤣
I was laughing at that part too lol !
Everyone should report the people trying to scam people in the comments with spell casters and WhatsApp nonsense
I did it today a bunch. Several videos too
Omg they are on every channel
This hits hard..6 days nc after staring my issue twice...dead to me unless needs are met, I agree x
I am on forever no contact due to being treated how i didnt like to be treated. I will never be second option to no one.
You are the most keep it real tell it like it is dating coach out there. It’s real and raw. Ya my best guy fren
Thanks so much for this, thats exactly what am going through and am doing the no contact because am totally done
My thumbs up just gave this video 1k likes
He ended it with me 3 days ago in a really angry and overreactive way, saying id made him feel small and inadequate and swore at me. As i had tried two says prior to tackle the subject that i like birthday presents as he never got me anything. We did go for a meal which i was grateful for but the previous week he’d pushed me away and wanted space. The reason for space was id established he didnt want me to be his girlfriend after 8 weeks of dating. So naturally i was looking for any hint of effort/care. Probably looks needy but ‘space’ hit me hard. Im trying my best to forget and move on.
I just had a guy tell me that I was pushing him and he needed some 'space'. He tried to say his moodiness was my fault. I tried the no contact thing and I think he likes not hearing from me. I think I'm doing him a favor by staying away. I think I'm going to come back around him in one of those NASA t-shirts that say "I need space". haha
Once a guy starts with the BS " I need space", the wisest thing for you to do is to cut the cord permanently. I know it's very hard, but it spares you all the heartache and wasted time.
Ladies, it’s very simple. If you act normally, and have absolutely normal expectations, but the guy is feeding you BS, then:
- he feels suffocated : bullshit, he just doesn’t like you enough;
-he doesn’t buy you gifts, he wants you to make an “effort”, he wants women to chase, he isn’t “old school”: bullshit, he doesn’t like you enough. Have him meet a girl he likes and watch him buying gifts & paying drinks and dinners;
- he doesn’t know if he wants a relationship as he is busy/traumatized/has responsibilities/too stressed/ doesn’t know what he wants: bullshit, he doesn’t like you enough. He has time to (try and) sleep with you, but can’t dedicate the same time to getting to know you?
Stop finding excuses & stop fangirling and chasing these guys. Leave them alone.
Every man deserves a chance, and one chance only. If you tell him & he still continues with the same behaviour, it’s not a coincidence, he isn’t forgetful- he just doesn’t care about you.
Cut your losses & stop wasting energy on these guys. The minute you feel confused or played, then it’s already over.
@@astridkate5328 love what you said
@@astridkate5328 not really you both meet in the middle or thing ain't gonna work. Buy him something too. Stop using men for money why we don't look you woman always want but never going
Who are you that you think he can change for you? But this is how things go, if he realises you are that one and he can lose you forever, he will change. If not, it has never been worth getting involved in this. It's proven - men need time and space to miss you, women forget and detach along with passing time.
The videos are just what I need. They are harsh, but true
Elliot is right! IF the guy treated you like a shit, then this is sure that he wants back for benefits. But if you met each other 1 month and then decided not to be romantic, and if there were not at all or bad relationship between you both, then there is a chance for new relationship in the future.
This video was pure gold, Elliot! Pure gold!! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Elliot I love your videos. Been watching them for years. I’ve got a problem with the father of my child completely disrespecting me. I just had his baby 3 weeks ago and I’m having such a hard time. I need some advice or coaching
Hi, I was in a long distance relationship and we broke up because of that . We had strong bond and thought we could at least talk and try to be friends . He is an introvert person , he takes time to open up . He was at least taking the leap of faith of opening up his vulnerable side . But I guess I was selfish and wanted more so I used “ no contact rule” and guess what? It made it worse . He is now more formal than ever and I’m confused as to shut him down or still have hope . So no, it doesn’t work for every situation.
Some relationships have no other choice but to break the bond for temporary purpose but that doesn’t mean like forever. You can be friends or why to tag that relationship for that matter ?
If you really care about someone - be with that someone - don’t play mind games
Being an introvert doesn’t mean shit lol I’m an introvert and I will at least open up to my partner . He’s not into u
Good points.. i am increasing my standard everytime I do no contact. He needs to prove it first and treat me like a queen. Don't give s*x right away when he comes back. And men always come back for our assets of course.
I can recommend you to a powerful spell caster who helped my girlfriend. Getting her love back after two years of no contact
You get in contact with him on WhatsApp. He's name is Dr Oge
If he left me one time then he will left again ! I do no contact because I am done ✅
You are the best dating coach plus you’re funny lol
Well..thank you for the advice. That was really helpful. I like how honestand direct you are.
As a woman, I d just have to say.. if I go no contact and act like I really don't care, then I really don't care anymore. Really. And i don't want him back, I don't want to win anyone back. It's over. So if I still care and have to go no contact,I will still care , I will just pretend that I don't. I think that we woman once we are done with someone, we truly are. Most of ex relationships do come back but they always do that when it's already too late. So Really..it brings absolutely nothing. I never take them back. I did this mistake once with my ex who I loved more than anything..I will never do it again. It is healthier to cry your heart out and get over someone who keeps ignoring you and disrespecting you. They will do it again.. very sadly
Works like a charm every time
Just and simply. Good job. Again .
I can recommend you to a powerful spell caster who helped my girlfriend. Getting her love back after two years of no contact
You get in contact with him on WhatsApp. He's name is Dr Oge
Your frankness is so amusing 🤣
"You're an idiot..." 🤣
Hi Elliot, I want to buy your course but I had a look and I have questions about the price..💭
Also, thank you so much. You're communicating so clearly how women get screwed over, finally, no bs! Love it! 🥰 We lack understanding these things logically fr. You're also helping me understand men in general. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
God I love how how honest this is!
I probably did no contact a little too late but it was unintentional honestly. I woke up one day and was DONE being dumb and too tired to care anymore. Cut him off back in April and haven't heard from him since. Do I miss him...a little. I miss the companionship/friendship. But if I can't get what I need from him then I'm moving on to someone who can. Looking out for and loving myself more these days. ✌😘
Did you hear back yet?
@Brooklyn Nope. Haven't heard a peep from him. Sometimes I wonder what he's up to and if he still thinks of me.
@@xmswayzemx He probably still does think of you . You were the only one that didn’t feed into his BS, the only one that probably had the most self respect to go about your business and not accept less . You won boo, love him from afar and continue loving yourself 💕
Have you heard from him now?
I really appreciate this video and your immaculate timing for what's happening with my situation! Thank you
this was a good video Elliot
Your nuggets of wisdom are great.
Eliot really speaks to me, to normal people. Other dating coach are so philosophical, abstract and ambiguous.
I went no contact over 4 years ago with the intention of staying no contact. He reached out 1 week and 3 weeks into it, but I never replied. Best decision I ever made.
He told his parents about me after our first date. He told his best friend about our chemistry; his best friend said “yeah you guys are getting married.”
He said he never wanted to make me feel sad, like my ex did.
He said he wanted to wife me up. He gave me his hoodies and pants.
He said I didn’t mess anything up, said we’d do so well in a tree house together. That was the last thing he said to me.
I’ve been through so much damn heartache this past year. It took a lot for me to come around to dating again.
I keep watching these types of videos to understand what’s going on, because things aren’t adding up to me.
Amazing video Elliot, thank you 😊 🙏 🙌
I can recommend you to a powerful spell caster who helped my girlfriend. Getting her love back after two years of no contact
I can recommend you to a powerful spell caster who helped my girlfriend. Getting her love back after two years of no contact
He's name is Dr Oge. Message him on WhatsApp now
my favorite dating coach ❤️
Hi Eliott, what if I was the one had communication problems and he walked away? Is it still his job to reach out? 🙏🏻
What if you didn’t give him any ass-ets yet? 😂 and he knows you won’t without a relationship and he comes back?
You are the best!!! Thanks. ❤🎉
You look better with glasses on 🤓
Oh yeah, great video as well 😄
Thanks again for the good advice 👍
“If you had a backbone…” 🥶
Great video Elliot.
Another great video, thank you!! Also, do you have 1-1 consultation services? If so, can you share the link and rates?
I can recommend you to a powerful spell caster who helped my girlfriend. Getting her love back after two years of no contact
Message him on WhatsApp now. He's name is Dr Oge
⏮⏯⏭2349056449814⏫⏪⏫⏮
How do women not know these things? I watched this out of curiosity but the comment section is shocking. Sorry ladies, I too am a lady. No way in hell do I put myself or standards down for a guy (or anyone for that matter!) Come correct or don't come at all. U don't want me 1, I don't want you 100. Return the same energy. Simple as that! This guy is spot on. I guess I know the game cos I come from a father who taught me from a very young age "don't ever let a man trick you". Goodluck to the ladies here that are struggling though.
I am in no contact.. I feel hurt, because he is calling and texting. I feel very sure that I am done with him. I don't know how he was able to ignore me for a week or 2..
truly DONE means BLOCKED from everywhere! otherwise you keep expecting them to reach out, you remain interested in that person! Don't fool yourself, honesty begins with oneself!
I agree with you on every woman holding the standard. The reason why men don’t change is because there’s always some woman that’s willing to be his rug ughhhhh it’s sickening
Love you Elliot! That's exactly what I'm doing and thinking!!!
I can recommend you to a powerful spell caster who helped my girlfriend. Getting her love back after two years of no contact
You get in contact with him on WhatsApp. He's name is Dr Oge
If you blocked them during no contact, how would they reach out? They're blocked because I'm standing on my decision with no contact.