Bro....this is exactly what I'm going through. She gets results when things are required of me, I get excuses when things are required of her. I'm over it...
@@avibeontherun Thank you, but honestly there is no stone unturned here. Can't make sure I'm communicating in a healthy way when she is commited to texting (excuses) to verbal communication, which is the problem. She's not willing to adapt and I'm over it..Thanks for the advice though
Bro if she’s not willing to change for you in that area don’t waste no more than 60 days trying to get her to.. move on my man. As a guy that had to make a tough decision like that it hurts and it’s limbo for a min but you shake back even harder
This man is definitely right. Men aren't granted any excuses; it's perform or get an earful or get replaced. Please don't say it's a lack of communication on the man's part because most of the time, it's not. When a man comes home from work and is tired or doesn't want to be bothered, he usually tells his significant other. Instead of leaving him alone to decompress, she starts in on him about things that happened to her or the kids. When he says he doesn't want to be intimate with her because he's tired or going through something, she starts accusing him of not being attracted to her or sleeping around with someone else. When most women are going through something like post-partum depression or a hormonal imbalance caused by their cycle, they won't even admit what's going on until he asks her to be intimate with him or he has to play a game of 20 questions with her. In other words, men have to find out at the last minute or when it's too late to do something about it. When we find out, we have to be compassionate towards you, yet when we are upfront and tell you how we feel, there is no compassion. Women need to stop treating men as if they have no feelings or their feelings don't matter, listen to them when they are having problems, open up to them when you're having problems, and treat them as you would want to be treated. If you don't want men to discard you when you're having issues, which is more frequent than you want to admit, don't discard him the moment he has an issue.
It is absolutely CRIMINAL that this _well thought out, well expressed_ post is sitting here with *conspicuous silence* . It reminds me of the dodging of the sex issue in marriages, when women use the question "Why?" to draw out an argument that will help them avoid giving sex to their man, while appearing (KEYword) justified in doing so. SMH
@MaryBlosselhe may be lacking high emotional intelligence which is prevalent especially amongst men in the black community. In other words he has a difficult time finding the right words to express his feelings
@@hotice8885 Because they are the problem. We always hear about bottom barrel men acting up yet anytime the conversation is about COMMON things women do absolute silence. They never have anything to improve on hence always someone else's fault, somehow
There are no exceptions or excuses for men. Regardless of the circumstances or situation. Doesn’t matter what you’re going through. Preform, Produce or get replaced
Facts. I started dating this woman a few years ago. Shortly after we started dating my mom got told she only got 2-3 months max to live cause of breast cancer. I emotionally shut down. This woman kept saying that I know you're going through a lot but I need this and that. After 2 weeks of hearing that mess I told her I'm not the man for you and that was the end of that
If you're with a woman who uses being a woman as an excuse or a privilege, run! Know your worth. The value of your legacy depends on it. Sincerely, A Woman.
This is why communication and compassion are PARAMOUNT! Discuss what's really going on and find healthy ways to work through it! If for some reason you two cannot be physically intimate then be intimate in other ways! Intimacy isn't just physical anyway! Try having a date night, weekend getaway, a mini staycation. Intimacy is about spending quality time getting to know one another. Sadly, so many ppl prioritize the physical so when that doesn't happen it becomes a problem!
Humans crave physical interactions, its scientifically proven. A lack of a physical interaction may lead to the rejected party to shuting down. Which can affect communication. Because that rejection was also a communication of lesser value especially if they are doing the best they can. Also note the shutdown is a communication also. And it should be valued just as much as a lack of physical intimacy...
It's just a shame that it has to be physically sex in order for you to show love. My love starts from the mental and emotions and logic of a man. The rest will follow if either party can hold out while getting to know each other.
I had an issue like this with an ex of mine years ago so I simply asked her: would you be upset if I was hungry and I went out and got something to eat, she said no. I asked her if I was bored and I went to hang with someone else would you be upset, she said no. so I eventually asked if I was horny and had sex with someone else would you be upset she said yes, so I asked her why would you not provide the only thing that you would have a problem with me getting elsewhere? She had no answer
😂😂😂 They act like you belong to them as if you can’t go get some coochie somewhere else. Either way you are always going to be wrong in their head no matter what you do.
Again, did you ask her WHY she wasn’t providing it? Was there ever a time where is would even matter why? Would you go hang out with someone else cause you were bored WHILE your lady was going through something and needed you? Would you go get yourself something to eat and not make sure she had food too? The problem with what you have said here is that all those examples mentioned you taking care of only you…your needs only without any consideration of what your lady needed or what she was going through. Relationships are a two way street.
@@KEOSHAANEILIA, when a man stops meeting needs that he once met, the question "why" is only asked in a condemning way, never seeking to understand, let alone, HELP. Women see that tactic as their personal property, and it has discouraged many men from even having the conversation anymore. If he *perfectly* knew why she stopped providing sex, she would not be less wrong for denying her husband sex. Right? Wives have not been treating marriages as a "2-way street" at all, when it comes to *responsibility* . They haven't in quite some time.
70 percent of heterosexual women do not orgasm so you asking is not incentive enough for a woman to have sex. A lot of men are just not sexually satisfying in bed. Trust me the men who are, aren't making these statements and this is a non issue.
Absolutely not, women tell their husbands/ boyfriends no all the time, but if a man is having a bad day/ doesn't feel like it all of a sudden he's cheating or he knowlonger finds her attractive.
I think in general women are given more grace in everything. As men we just told to suck it up or made to take accountability for the downfall. I think the benefit for men tho is we can take the corrective measure and somehow get the outcome. I think women dont get that benefit. Like a woman who has been a hoe, had lots of kids cant really do over. Where a man can fuck up his whole life, get serious at 45 and still end life being one of the richest men.
I agree with you, that's the reason why I do my best to be conscious of my man's needs. I feel like anyways we definitely understand each other to the point where we know when we're not in the mood for it. I know I can trust him and he knows he can trust me that we are not just gonna go somewhere else for something that we can give each other whenever we are in the mood. A lot of the times where I'm not in the mood is because a pre-existing disease I was born with that causes pain in different parts of my body and I went through Breast Cancer. I still was able to have moments even while going through health issues to please my man. I definitely don't want to come off as a black woman that always not in the mood. The only other times that really is not negotiable is when I have my cycle and that an unspoken and spoken agreement
Women go through things men will never understand and men go through things women will never understand. I wouldn't say either has it easier or harder when we just have it different. I wish that ppl could speak and be heard when it's their turn and show the other the same respect when instead most ppl compete for victimhood. Pity is a prize too many want bcuz I guess it's a form of power. When ppl feel bad for you you can get away with shit, you get to talk more stern with ppl and get passes bcuz "you've already been thru enough". A lot of the times either sex is speaking on an issue, the opposite sex feels attacked and unheard/unseen. I like when a woman can hear a man's pov and be respectful to their experiences and act accordingly, and I like when a man can hear a woman's pov, be respectful and act accordingly. We need to help each other instead of complaining to each other and getting angry at the other sides complaint. This was a lovely example of that. They spoke about their povs without feeling defensive. He acknowledged her statement while still bringing light to his own.
Thank god for you because after he brought up that men go through stuff too, I was like "how does that solve her not having sex?" Do you want the woman to have sex out of obligation or because she genuinely wants to? It's like folks are arguing about whose the more pitiful victim and its counterproductive asf.
@@lewislee9905 1. I’m a straight man 2. If a man asks a woman for sex and she says no for whatever reason, that’s just something he gone have to deal with🤷🏽♂️ What he can do is true to help solve the problem in why she doesn’t want to have sex? For example, if she says she’s tired, then have a conversation about why has she been so tired lately. Y’all gotta stop with this idea that sex is an inherent obligation. And if any man tells a woman that she needs to run ASAP
@@devinjohnson5759 The point is my nicca if a man turns down that women she's go to have an issue. No matter how tired that man is from work or whatever. She's going to have an issue with that. Men are obligated to do everything and anything. But women can use any excuse to deprive her partner from something that she'll be upset about if he did it to her.
@@lewislee9905 no it works the same both ways. If the guy is tired and doesn’t feel like having sex them the woman has no right to hold that over his head. Men aren’t obligated to have sex just because our partner asked. If you do it regardless then you’re just enabling that negative behavior. No matter who’s the one declining. If somebody doesn’t want to do the nasty then the other party has to accept that. Simple
Facts 👸🏽🤴🏽👏🏾 Communication is key in any relationship 😃 Learn to be open, transparent and negotiable. He/she have the ability to take constructive criticism . A successful relationship work(s) when adjustments are made by all individuals involved. Showing genuine love, respect, appreciation and faithfulness are attributes that will most often make a relationship last a long time 😃. Stand the Course- don’t give up especially if you sincerely love your partner and you both are in it for the longevity 🙏🏾
Men! Know your worth. The value of your legacy depends on it. If you're with a woman who uses being a woman as an excuse or privilege, run! We are designed to be your helpmates. That means we are to be your intimacy in more ways than one, your confidante, your truth, your discipline, your encourager, your prayer warrior, the cultivator of your legacy and home, your love, your joy, your reason, your place of vulnerability, etc. There are things you are supposed to be for us as well but I'm addressing what we are to yall. Make wise choices. There's no way you can operate in your full potential if the portion of you, we are, is inadequate on purpose. What is the role of the rib? Sincerely, A Woman.
I think the bigger concern is that - women typically want to please men. So if your wife used to enjoy sex and now she doesn't - that should alarm you. Orrrr did she ever enjoy it because studies claim most women do not orgasm. That's what y'all need to worry about.
Excellent response! If a man is going through something mentally, and isn’t in the mood for sex, immediately, some women go into selfish mode. Instead of trying to find out what’s going on with him, she’ll become either accusatory or insecure. She’ll think he’s been sleeping with someone else, or think he doesn’t find her desirable anymore; thus making it all about her.
Exactly! If I'm going thru something, I definitely want the physical connection of my husband. Even the postpartum depression has become a crutch. Sex actually helps release the chemicals and regulate to a certain extent your hormones. Women are so caught up in themselves that they just want attention and accolades. They'll have a husband trying to connect, theyll deny him and run to other whiny women who will tell them they need a divorce.
Lets be honest men dont usually verbalize what they are going through because they cant always find the words. And sometimes neither women can either. So lets be sure to find patience and compassion.
Bc women talk too much, listen too little then gaslight them before whining about themselves. This video is the perfect example. This may surprise the hormonal and emotionally challenged women but men have hormonal and chemical imbalances that can occur monthly, frequently, etc. Even animals have this. Women are the only ones using it as a crutch.
EXACTLY BRUH! And when you married all tht shit go out the window for both parties fr. Duty is the word in them vows thats steady ignored. meaning it doesn’t matter how you feel we both have obligation to EACHOTHER regardless of how we feel! If you cant handle that responsibility stop dating/ fucking or getting married
Oh that was the best clip yet old boy shut that down..... He is a thousand percent correct when women shut down the whole world supposed to stop and see what's wrong meanwhile man go through things too and we just have to keep working and told to man up!
The reason this happens is simple. Your partner isn't attracted to you. I've been both unattractive and attractive and the difference in how people treat me is as if I lived two lives. If you want to be desired, you have to become desirable. And it's not as simple as "go where you're wanted." You have to become someone that would be wanted. Face, hair, weight, skincare, teeth, style of clothing, smell, etc are all very important. You can have the greatest personality in the world. If you're not physically attractive, in the end, none of it matters. Now personality _does_ play a role in attraction dynamics, but this mostly has to do with the polarity you have with the other person. (I.e Dominant/Submissive and Masculine/Feminine dynamics.) Physical attraction is the foundation to any long-lasting relationship. If that never properly manifests, emotional attraction (I.e the attraction that tends to take place during older-aged couples) can never really truly be experienced as a consequence. There's more nuance to all this as well as there's a bit of variation that takes place between these dynamics, but it'll be very long to describe and goes beyond the scope of a single TH-cam comment.
That's a man answer. It's definitely different for women. How many not so attractive men have you seen with a beautiful woman or they don't seem to go together as in looks. That man is meeting her needs emotionally, mentally, intimately, spiritually and so on. Added benefit of a man being genuine, respectful and a provider and optimal father figure. I'll rock with him any day over a man I'm simply attracted to physically. Attractions do go far and don't last long. A terrible attitude can ruin a handsome or pretty face in a heartbeat. I believe men feel like this sometimes as well. I
@@sweetdkinkycurls thats a woman in denial answer! the dude you talking about is the one yall say is the nice guy and he gets cheated on for the attractive broke guy that treats her like shit but got a 10 inch dick and can dig you out and make you have triple orgasms back to back to back then when you get your fill after cheating for a few months and you got it out your system and bragged to your bestfriend about it you run back to hubby who caught you and say to him "dont leave baby .. your the one i really want.. yeah he might look better than you, satisfy me more than you could but i will never love him like i love you" and then expect your husband to go, "oh ok honey well thats all i wanted to hear no problem baby i forgive you lets make this work" yall dont want to be held accountable for shit like this.. matter fact.. yall all pretend like either A. this never happens or B. when it does happen this man you just got dont saying you wanted somehow MADE you do this.. black women want black men to behave like cucks, yeah you had another mans cock in your mouth but lets put that aside and build this family, we got kids. HUH??? the problem is yall might need a whiteboy cause nothing will change with women that think like you, aint no real man going for that.. you got us fucked up. Take that cuck shit somewhere else. Good black men are rising up. Ya'll can keep the gang members, the rappers, the control freaks and the downlow black men.. us good black men are threw with ya'll.. wheres my proof? just look around.. i dont even know you but i can bet you cant count on your hands how many black women you know got a good black man that is high value and wanted by all the women in your community that never cheats, never lies, great father, provider, communicator and meets all your "needs".. nah you got a nigga that yall force yourself to see his "potential" cause you cant manifest and attract the real deal..
If men and women want to make it in these time we HAVE to learn to not belittle each others stresses in life, both men and women are guilty of viewing the stresses each go through as nothing because they are not OUR stress so we don't see them as being much of anything and YES ladies there are times when a man just doesn't want to be intimate so don't take that as us dissing you.
He's right. Bottom line is that if a woman is withholding sex from a man for any reason other than medical, then she is NOT genuinely attracted to him sexually and uses sex to manipulate him. It's that simple because people do not deprive themselves of that which they get pleasure unless absolutely necessary to do so. So if a woman genuinely enjoys sex with a man, she is not going to deprive herself of that pleasure unless she absolutely has to and that's usually only due to some medical condition. Don't misconstrue this to mean that a woman should have sex with a man any and every time he wants it or that she isn't sexually attracted to if she doesn't. I'm talking about cases where a woman withholds sex frequently and/or over an extended period of time (a month or longer).
Nope, and nope. He's working hard trying to provide, like I'm NOT? Like I'm not doing my part? Stop taking all the weight on you like we don't feel that shit too. Stop it. I'm busting my own ass to provide. I don't ever blame a man for not being in the mood tonight either tho.
Definitely agree with you, but MOST woman are not like you, they will always blame the man with any and every reason but give him the side eye when she gets turned down
@@psyco381A lot of that is social programming. Women are raised to think all men want is sex, and given men constantly talk about it and seek it, that gets reinforced. So when we get rejected there's a HUGE failure to compute. And the human brain seeks understanding so cheating or "he's not attracted to me" makes the most sense logically. Depending on the man and communication it should get better over time but that's the why behind the average woman's freak out.
Y’all act as if sex is a necessity to live it’s not. It’s meant to be a benefit of a relationship. and yes men can be too tired to have sex, men can suffer from depression that affects their sex drive and if you tell. Your woman that and she doesn’t understand that’s awful. However, some of y’all act as if sex some obligatory service that regardless of how your women feels hormonally or physically she should suck it up and perform. Y’all don’t feel weird being intimate with someone who you knows hearts not in it. Or better yet don’t you want to work with your partner to get them back to feeling better so that it doesn’t affect y’all’s intimate life ? And if your partner isn’t seeking help to address their low interest in sex with a medical professional that’s one thing. It’s completely different if your absolutely in dire need of sex even if your wife is battling PPD or managing a hormonal imbalance, that your gratification on demand is what matters.
I'd argue that physical intimacy is an indicator of and a key to a healthy relationship. Whether or not you accept that, history shows that when a couple stops having sex that relationship is in serious peril
Its in the top three for us, right up there with protecting and providing for you ladies..... If we dropped the ball on protecting and providing for our wives(for ANY reason) it wouldn't be tolerated.
As a society in general we need to be more compassionate towards people's struggles and short comings, but not so much so that we are enabling people to stay stuck and prevent growth
They need to take the mic from a lot of women. They spew too much ignorance, negativity, self victimization, elective trauma, lies, etc. This is getting old and destroying the entire community.
I am all for for understanding women when it comes to discussions like this but I need straightforward communication I can't be expected to just assume or already know why you feel the way you do I need you to express yourself in a more in-depth way than just saying I'm tired or I don't want to etc there has to be something going on so that I can be helped to understand and maybe even solve it or at least have closure and not feel so frustrated. Because we're not in your skin and empathy only goes but so far when you don't understand the situation. And I definitely agree with him about the side when it comes to guys, we go through a lot of stuff with work just life in general and being expected to be very stoic but we Are not allowed to use that against our girl when it comes to her emotional communication needs I might not feel like hearing about her day or talking about the things she's interested in because of the stress I'm going through but I have to bite through that and it's not something that I feel like should be changed because sometimes you have to make sacrifices for your partner but I want similar effort done even if it's just you telling me what I need to do to make it easier for you to do that so that we're both happy in the long run
And that’s why we say they live life on east mode. They can make any excuse they want and, never be held accountable. But both points are valid and effort is key.
Listen ladies its like this we understand you go to alot .We understand y'all are emotional creatures and that y'all process things very differently..As real men we have to be there on a drop dime no matter what because by nature were designed to protect, provide, and be your safety next emotionally, mentally, etc...No Real man wants to see his lady suffering at all, not if he can fix it PERIOD.. Although some women will check out , when its time to give that support and be that backbone that men may need...I've been there so im speaking from personal experience.. However ,being honest I wasn't perfect and neither was she, but I put that dam sled on my back each and everyday to make sure she was str8 and at times when I need something it didnt happen... My philosophy has always been, you don't walk I will, you do not go without because i will...if anybody has to hurt , i rather it be me than you and that weight be heavy sometimes, but men do what we have to because your ladies happiness is important. So all I'm saying is, I understand that yall go thru things that we may never understand but I also realize that on the other hand we as men also go thru things that you could understand because we are taught to never be your woman seen you break down because you are that leader because if you fold , she might fold also.. At the end of the day I say this all the time and I'll standby it until I'm proven wrong,,,yes women take care of the household themselves and the kids facts no dispute but as A real man we take care of the house , the kids, and you becuase we are design by nature to make sure our significant others wants for nothing..We are bulit differently and real men with these standards will break the bodies down day in and day out to not fail at anything concerning there family..FACTS. So at the end of the day both sides just need to listen up and and see where eachother is coming from because black love is the best love out there..Its rich in so many traditions
@@tavarshia3122of course. It's a perfect view point from a man but you don't care enough to know what he's talking about. But if you were the one ranting you'd expect everyone to be all ears.
He really didn’t though….. he didn’t understand her statement and it shows by his frustration. He doesn’t give a f about postpartum and hormonal shift that women go though on a weekly because he’s busting his ass to buy her a “bag”. All these woman are saying the same thing then maybe he should be more understanding instead of calling it an excuse because it isn’t
Forget a lifestyle, I’ve had that even before you came into the picture, I need a man, a leader, my confidant, someone who gone ride with me until the wheels fall off for real. Life actually does happen and both parties need to understand. Always make the effort, while being understanding.
Just a little insight!! If he's riding with you than he's not the leader you are and that's the problem women who think this way believe they have the say so when a man should be the leader and that's why so many relationships fail !! Of course there are some other things that go into it as well !
I don't know..bcs for some men, it seems.. They can put all that other stuff to the side when it comes to satisfying their sexual needs. Not all men or all the time. But more often than not. And us women are wired differently, especially when it comes to hormonal and such. It isn't so easy for us to just switch it on and off as it can be for a man. At the end of the day, that's when having discipline and being patient and good communication with understanding comes in. For both parties!🙏🏿
Women want so much time, patience, and grace for behavior/attitude changes that their Man request but changes INSTANTLY for her boss, clients, & customers at work...so she has the ability.
guys would like the same grace women are afforded sometimes, that's all he's saying, many times it "seems" like we gotta perform regardless, and even when we express feelings on things it's like i hear you however still perform
I know me myself I dont intentionally withhold sex. Im just not interested in doing it all the time. Sometimes I may want to connect on a different level. Maybe have a good conversation, or Idk discover a new song.. watch a movie. I just dont need sex everyday. I know too, having sex when you dont really want to is cringy and boring.
@simonebracy9103 my first wife taught me that she wasnt there for me. The sex was just a symptom of a bigger problem. She enjoyed my provision and protection and lamented it was gone. But she never came to the conclusion that i wanted something from the marriage also. It wasnt 20 years wasted, it was 20 years learning.
@@dredey1971 We as black women need to do better and stop being deontological when it comes to our way of thinking. We have to understand that men are human too and have needs that differ from ours. Other black bitter women and not seeing a healthy black love relationship has messed us up. That's why black women are least likely to be married and grow old alone. And for those who don't desire marriage. We grown old with no man in our life.
Well I was married to a narcissist. Many men are narcissists and incapable of loving anyone but them. And NO he didn't give me comfortable life style. He worked in trucking and brought me back other ppl's used furniture. So it's laughable that I had a cozy lifestyle. I was alone, dealt with everything, including his psychotic ex-wife ALONE with zero support from him.... so once I got hip to the fact that I was married and alone got damn straight, I stopped being intimate with him. Come to find out way later that he was never faithful any damn way.
Men always use this excuse that they provide for women when we know in many homes today, women are equal or provide higher than men... So when they're going through these hormonal issues & issues from equally hustling to provide for their home, what's the man's excuse then? Also...women talk & men don't listen. Maybe these hormonal issues do not affect men the same way they affect women. We're all biologically different! Just because he ratted off his points with precision and eloquence doesn't mean he's right! Listen to your woman or lose her! It's equally been studied & researched that many men don't know how to sustain a woman's emotional needs...but let's ignore that! There are women who live in mansions & wear expensive stuff but are also dying for more from their men. The sooner we all sit down & actually listen to each other, rather than getting defensive, the sooner we'd begin having healthy relationships!
I agree with some of the stuff he said but he missed me with the provider part. Majority of female these day buss their ass just as much as men, while being hormonal and primary caregiver.
@@mbonds44if you think women just got on their high horse and decided to join the work force then you are misguided. Women responsibility changed along with the men. They adapted to their environment.
The problem comes in a lot of ways where some, not all, women want to work get their "coins" and be able to provide but still want/need men to retain their same roles from 30+ years ago..Kinda duplicitous if you ask me..Find a balance and let that be what works in your relationship instead of blaming the man for a problem women largely solved..You're making more money than ever in history you got what you suffered for, for all those years..But the responsibility of being a breadwinner If not the sole breadwinner is a crown some can't handle all too well..
Most women today want a lifestyle they can’t afford. Men are trying to provide but are not making the income to support that type of lifestyle as well. It’s the harsh reality. Both need to understand that and work with what they have and move forward in life.
A honest reality 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄most black men are not making that kind of money ,brothers on TH-cam with that level up 6 figure Kevin SAMUELS talk ain't no blue collar brothers making money like that 🙄first off the system is not going to allow it, it was all a SYSTEMIC plan to make black men to not be able to provide for their families.
@@characteristicallyauthenticA conversation most black women aren’t ready for. Most aren’t on that delayed gratification energy. The consumerism in the black community is out of control. And yet I see traditional black families like myself getting by on single income under 100k. So what’s the real problem here? Black women are disgustingly high maintenance and HAVE to work to maintain their own attachment to such standards. Not because men are incompetent.
She can say no to you for as long as she wants and that man gotta just deal with it.... it can be 2 years later and if all of a sudden she wants some and he says no now its a whole problem
My wife does that after a month. I’ve had thoughts about cheating or if she’s cheating. All of a sudden she wants it & it be weird bc it be at times when I’m a lil depressed about marriage, work, money… I don’t really be in the mood. She never worries about how I’m feeling but expects me to be there for her all the time. It’s rough being married 🤦🏾♂️
Um people not having sex don't like sex. A relationship or marriage without regular sex is a roommate looking for a paycheck. Why get married if every feeling or hormone takes away desire. Go to the damn doctor and take something to get it back. Or perhaps you never had it before depression or hormones. Sex make absolutely everything better.. Adjusts and regulates everything good. So the more you get the more you should want. I have never ever understood why never giving it or wanting it was such a thing. Stay single. Sleep alone. Pay for your own shit. Leave people who want healthy relationships open to finding others who want the same.
You got men out here so stressed their thing don't work even when they want it to. Now their masculinity is questioned. Now there woman is wondering if they're the problem. He spoke facts
Lifestyle is not an mental health issue. Effort leans on depression. To built a relationship with you and yourself, you thrive to be with someone in your life. That's real an issue. Trauma, healing and building a relationship. It's a struggling sometimes.
We Need more Education and help with your Whole Wellness. From head to toe. I never knew if my ex had p out pregnancy issues I automatically kicked in. And It created a spoiled monster instead.
He do realize most relationships DON'T have the man paying for everything...its usually 50/50...or some version where we BOTH have to chip in to run the household...THEN he says men can't use the excuse of I'm going thru some things mentally as a reason for not sexing...but on the flip side apparently WOMEN can't use that excuse EITHER because not getting enough sex been men's excuse for cheating forever...smh...so NOBODY can get away with mental health being an accepted reason...To me it just seems like people don't know what REAL love is! Love is if you see me struggling with something then HELP me...or at least hold enough space for me to get the help I need..not just say ....fuck it...imma cheat or whatever ur vice is...watching these snippets is eye-opening and sad...
Your absolutely incorrect smh. Most relationships is men that pay for everything or at least the most of it. Majority of yall women dont accept a man and a relationship where its 50/50. So stop the cap.
Facts. Not only that but women coerce men into sex by internalizing his no and lashing out, and sometimes questioning men's sexuality. It's more than a lack of grace, it's a lack of consent. Men's sexual "no" isn't respected and arent included in consent discussions or allowed to be the sexually violated party.
And the guy talking gave a window as to why that might be. He said, men aren't allowed to say no to sex even if they experience similar issues like mental health;depression. And instead of listening to a man describe the lack of consent and agency men experience to be good men, you make it about yourself and oversimplification. This is gRape Culture. @@simonebracy9103
When we men withhold physical intimacy from women, so many things about us are immediately questioned, including but not limited to our sexual orientations. It's as if society thinks that every man wants sex all the time. It's not that kind of party for every man who's attracted to women. I should be able to turn down sex from a woman just like anyone else.
Being tired from a job and mental health post partum is two different things!!!! We all work get tired but when the mind is effected it wont allow you to pretend and proceed it don't work like that fellas!!
Like most in this comment section you are trying to compare the CAUSES of stress rather than the stress itself. Just because it's something YOU think is small doesn't change the fact that it still weighs heavy on that person, like the kids who got a A- instead of a A+ on a test.....doesn't seem like a big deal to most people but to them it's EVERYTHING and will weigh on them just as much as someone who just lost their job and is about to be evicted
Bro....this is exactly what I'm going through. She gets results when things are required of me, I get excuses when things are required of her. I'm over it...
Communicate your feelings in a healthy way and see if she is willing to make that effort. Good luck
Closed mouths don’t get fed.
@@avibeontherun Thank you, but honestly there is no stone unturned here. Can't make sure I'm communicating in a healthy way when she is commited to texting (excuses) to verbal communication, which is the problem. She's not willing to adapt and I'm over it..Thanks for the advice though
Bro if she’s not willing to change for you in that area don’t waste no more than 60 days trying to get her to.. move on my man. As a guy that had to make a tough decision like that it hurts and it’s limbo for a min but you shake back even harder
@@killhatred19 🏃🏾🏃🏾 I appreciate you bro
This man is definitely right. Men aren't granted any excuses; it's perform or get an earful or get replaced. Please don't say it's a lack of communication on the man's part because most of the time, it's not. When a man comes home from work and is tired or doesn't want to be bothered, he usually tells his significant other. Instead of leaving him alone to decompress, she starts in on him about things that happened to her or the kids. When he says he doesn't want to be intimate with her because he's tired or going through something, she starts accusing him of not being attracted to her or sleeping around with someone else. When most women are going through something like post-partum depression or a hormonal imbalance caused by their cycle, they won't even admit what's going on until he asks her to be intimate with him or he has to play a game of 20 questions with her. In other words, men have to find out at the last minute or when it's too late to do something about it. When we find out, we have to be compassionate towards you, yet when we are upfront and tell you how we feel, there is no compassion. Women need to stop treating men as if they have no feelings or their feelings don't matter, listen to them when they are having problems, open up to them when you're having problems, and treat them as you would want to be treated. If you don't want men to discard you when you're having issues, which is more frequent than you want to admit, don't discard him the moment he has an issue.
Agreed.
It is absolutely CRIMINAL that this _well thought out, well expressed_ post is sitting here with *conspicuous silence* . It reminds me of the dodging of the sex issue in marriages, when women use the question "Why?" to draw out an argument that will help them avoid giving sex to their man, while appearing (KEYword) justified in doing so. SMH
@hotice8885 and then play victim.
@MaryBlosselhe may be lacking high emotional intelligence which is prevalent especially amongst men in the black community. In other words he has a difficult time finding the right words to express his feelings
@@hotice8885 Because they are the problem. We always hear about bottom barrel men acting up yet anytime the conversation is about COMMON things women do absolute silence. They never have anything to improve on hence always someone else's fault, somehow
There are no exceptions or excuses for men. Regardless of the circumstances or situation. Doesn’t matter what you’re going through. Preform, Produce or get replaced
I’d rather be replaced tbh 🤷🏽♀️
I hate that you're right about that.
@@leiajones852FACTS!
Facts. I started dating this woman a few years ago. Shortly after we started dating my mom got told she only got 2-3 months max to live cause of breast cancer. I emotionally shut down. This woman kept saying that I know you're going through a lot but I need this and that. After 2 weeks of hearing that mess I told her I'm not the man for you and that was the end of that
If you're with a woman who uses being a woman as an excuse or a privilege, run! Know your worth. The value of your legacy depends on it.
Sincerely, A Woman.
This is why communication and compassion are PARAMOUNT! Discuss what's really going on and find healthy ways to work through it! If for some reason you two cannot be physically intimate then be intimate in other ways! Intimacy isn't just physical anyway! Try having a date night, weekend getaway, a mini staycation. Intimacy is about spending quality time getting to know one another. Sadly, so many ppl prioritize the physical so when that doesn't happen it becomes a problem!
Humans crave physical interactions, its scientifically proven. A lack of a physical interaction may lead to the rejected party to shuting down. Which can affect communication. Because that rejection was also a communication of lesser value especially if they are doing the best they can.
Also note the shutdown is a communication also. And it should be valued just as much as a lack of physical intimacy...
It's just a shame that it has to be physically sex in order for you to show love. My love starts from the mental and emotions and logic of a man. The rest will follow if either party can hold out while getting to know each other.
OKKK THIS
Not these days, if ain't about sex, they don't want no parts of you. Real rap.
@@trenastewart2599You’re not a man. Sex is literally a need for men. Look it up.
The Man at the end was preaching Facts for real 🏆🐐🎯🙏❤️
He only spoke facts that apply to the men who are doing what he listed if that ain’t u stfu
He's right. It's one of those double standards. Women can dish it but can't take if it was given back to them
Men make excuses all the time regarding the reasons why they can’t provide and women deal with it until they don’t
Men self delete 4X time the rate of females self deletion but we have to be mindful of women mental health lmao lol 🤣😆😂
I had an issue like this with an ex of mine years ago so I simply asked her: would you be upset if I was hungry and I went out and got something to eat, she said no. I asked her if I was bored and I went to hang with someone else would you be upset, she said no. so I eventually asked if I was horny and had sex with someone else would you be upset she said yes, so I asked her why would you not provide the only thing that you would have a problem with me getting elsewhere? She had no answer
Funny how that worked out
😂😂😂 They act like you belong to them as if you can’t go get some coochie somewhere else. Either way you are always going to be wrong in their head no matter what you do.
Again, did you ask her WHY she wasn’t providing it? Was there ever a time where is would even matter why? Would you go hang out with someone else cause you were bored WHILE your lady was going through something and needed you? Would you go get yourself something to eat and not make sure she had food too? The problem with what you have said here is that all those examples mentioned you taking care of only you…your needs only without any consideration of what your lady needed or what she was going through. Relationships are a two way street.
@@KEOSHAANEILIA, when a man stops meeting needs that he once met, the question "why" is only asked in a condemning way, never seeking to understand, let alone, HELP.
Women see that tactic as their personal property, and it has discouraged many men from even having the conversation anymore.
If he *perfectly* knew why she stopped providing sex, she would not be less wrong for denying her husband sex. Right?
Wives have not been treating marriages as a "2-way street" at all, when it comes to *responsibility* . They haven't in quite some time.
70 percent of heterosexual women do not orgasm so you asking is not incentive enough for a woman to have sex. A lot of men are just not sexually satisfying in bed. Trust me the men who are, aren't making these statements and this is a non issue.
Absolutely not, women tell their husbands/ boyfriends no all the time, but if a man is having a bad day/ doesn't feel like it all of a sudden he's cheating or he knowlonger finds her attractive.
Facts
I think in general women are given more grace in everything. As men we just told to suck it up or made to take accountability for the downfall. I think the benefit for men tho is we can take the corrective measure and somehow get the outcome. I think women dont get that benefit. Like a woman who has been a hoe, had lots of kids cant really do over. Where a man can fuck up his whole life, get serious at 45 and still end life being one of the richest men.
Preach and Facts 🏆🐐🎯🙏❤️
I agree with you, that's the reason why I do my best to be conscious of my man's needs. I feel like anyways we definitely understand each other to the point where we know when we're not in the mood for it. I know I can trust him and he knows he can trust me that we are not just gonna go somewhere else for something that we can give each other whenever we are in the mood. A lot of the times where I'm not in the mood is because a pre-existing disease I was born with that causes pain in different parts of my body and I went through Breast Cancer. I still was able to have moments even while going through health issues to please my man. I definitely don't want to come off as a black woman that always not in the mood. The only other times that really is not negotiable is when I have my cycle and that an unspoken and spoken agreement
The “you don’t want me no more” be KILLING ME 😂.
Women go through things men will never understand and men go through things women will never understand. I wouldn't say either has it easier or harder when we just have it different.
I wish that ppl could speak and be heard when it's their turn and show the other the same respect when instead most ppl compete for victimhood. Pity is a prize too many want bcuz I guess it's a form of power. When ppl feel bad for you you can get away with shit, you get to talk more stern with ppl and get passes bcuz "you've already been thru enough".
A lot of the times either sex is speaking on an issue, the opposite sex feels attacked and unheard/unseen. I like when a woman can hear a man's pov and be respectful to their experiences and act accordingly, and I like when a man can hear a woman's pov, be respectful and act accordingly. We need to help each other instead of complaining to each other and getting angry at the other sides complaint.
This was a lovely example of that. They spoke about their povs without feeling defensive. He acknowledged her statement while still bringing light to his own.
Thank god for you because after he brought up that men go through stuff too, I was like "how does that solve her not having sex?" Do you want the woman to have sex out of obligation or because she genuinely wants to? It's like folks are arguing about whose the more pitiful victim and its counterproductive asf.
@@devinjohnson5759ask your partner to have sex with you and he says no. You'll have a fuckin fit or think he cheating.
@@lewislee9905 1. I’m a straight man
2. If a man asks a woman for sex and she says no for whatever reason, that’s just something he gone have to deal with🤷🏽♂️
What he can do is true to help solve the problem in why she doesn’t want to have sex?
For example, if she says she’s tired, then have a conversation about why has she been so tired lately. Y’all gotta stop with this idea that sex is an inherent obligation. And if any man tells a woman that she needs to run ASAP
@@devinjohnson5759 The point is my nicca if a man turns down that women she's go to have an issue. No matter how tired that man is from work or whatever. She's going to have an issue with that. Men are obligated to do everything and anything. But women can use any excuse to deprive her partner from something that she'll be upset about if he did it to her.
@@lewislee9905 no it works the same both ways. If the guy is tired and doesn’t feel like having sex them the woman has no right to hold that over his head. Men aren’t obligated to have sex just because our partner asked. If you do it regardless then you’re just enabling that negative behavior. No matter who’s the one declining. If somebody doesn’t want to do the nasty then the other party has to accept that. Simple
Men, if your woman is withholding sex from you leave the relationship. It doesn’t get better.
Thanks to uncle Kev for empowering this kind of trend and convo. RIP KING…
Agree
He has nothing to do with this trend. And he did nothing to empower anybody except deadbeats and Pookies.
Facts 👸🏽🤴🏽👏🏾
Communication is key in any relationship 😃 Learn to be open, transparent and negotiable. He/she have the ability to take constructive criticism . A successful relationship work(s) when adjustments are made by all individuals involved. Showing genuine love, respect, appreciation and faithfulness are attributes that will most often make a relationship last a long time 😃.
Stand the Course- don’t give up especially if you sincerely love your partner and you both are in it for the longevity 🙏🏾
This is an awesome combo to have on the panel.
He preach that sermon!! Amen, my brother!!
Absolutely super big facts!!
THAT PART! They want all the grace in the world but have none to give.
Men! Know your worth. The value of your legacy depends on it. If you're with a woman who uses being a woman as an excuse or privilege, run! We are designed to be your helpmates. That means we are to be your intimacy in more ways than one, your confidante, your truth, your discipline, your encourager, your prayer warrior, the cultivator of your legacy and home, your love, your joy, your reason, your place of vulnerability, etc. There are things you are supposed to be for us as well but I'm addressing what we are to yall. Make wise choices. There's no way you can operate in your full potential if the portion of you, we are, is inadequate on purpose. What is the role of the rib? Sincerely, A Woman.
Well said. That part about "being _inadequate on purpose_ " went ESPECIALLY hard!!
This is deep
I think the bigger concern is that - women typically want to please men. So if your wife used to enjoy sex and now she doesn't - that should alarm you. Orrrr did she ever enjoy it because studies claim most women do not orgasm. That's what y'all need to worry about.
Excellent response! If a man is going through something mentally, and isn’t in the mood for sex, immediately, some women go into selfish mode. Instead of trying to find out what’s going on with him, she’ll become either accusatory or insecure. She’ll think he’s been sleeping with someone else, or think he doesn’t find her desirable anymore; thus making it all about her.
Man i thought only trip be dropping the gems
He's correct. I love the physical connection the bonding of 2 souls tied together the beauty of lovemaking with your partner.
Exactly! If I'm going thru something, I definitely want the physical connection of my husband. Even the postpartum depression has become a crutch. Sex actually helps release the chemicals and regulate to a certain extent your hormones. Women are so caught up in themselves that they just want attention and accolades. They'll have a husband trying to connect, theyll deny him and run to other whiny women who will tell them they need a divorce.
@yolandawilson6619 I hear you sister I pray your strength truth stand together ❤️
He's Absolutely Right....💯✌🏾
Sex does and will NOT come before my physical and mental health
Exactly! My man nailed it!
Lets be honest men dont usually verbalize what they are going through because they cant always find the words.
And sometimes neither women can either. So lets be sure to find patience and compassion.
Bc women talk too much, listen too little then gaslight them before whining about themselves. This video is the perfect example. This may surprise the hormonal and emotionally challenged women but men have hormonal and chemical imbalances that can occur monthly, frequently, etc. Even animals have this. Women are the only ones using it as a crutch.
EXACTLY BRUH! And when you married all tht shit go out the window for both parties fr. Duty is the word in them vows thats steady ignored. meaning it doesn’t matter how you feel we both have obligation to EACHOTHER regardless of how we feel! If you cant handle that responsibility stop dating/ fucking or getting married
Exactly 💯! Match the same energy and intent or go the fcuk home.🎯🎯
Oh that was the best clip yet old boy shut that down..... He is a thousand percent correct when women shut down the whole world supposed to stop and see what's wrong meanwhile man go through things too and we just have to keep working and told to man up!
The reason this happens is simple. Your partner isn't attracted to you. I've been both unattractive and attractive and the difference in how people treat me is as if I lived two lives. If you want to be desired, you have to become desirable. And it's not as simple as "go where you're wanted." You have to become someone that would be wanted.
Face, hair, weight, skincare, teeth, style of clothing, smell, etc are all very important. You can have the greatest personality in the world. If you're not physically attractive, in the end, none of it matters. Now personality _does_ play a role in attraction dynamics, but this mostly has to do with the polarity you have with the other person. (I.e Dominant/Submissive and Masculine/Feminine dynamics.)
Physical attraction is the foundation to any long-lasting relationship. If that never properly manifests, emotional attraction (I.e the attraction that tends to take place during older-aged couples) can never really truly be experienced as a consequence. There's more nuance to all this as well as there's a bit of variation that takes place between these dynamics, but it'll be very long to describe and goes beyond the scope of a single TH-cam comment.
Facts king!!!!!
That's a man answer. It's definitely different for women. How many not so attractive men have you seen with a beautiful woman or they don't seem to go together as in looks. That man is meeting her needs emotionally, mentally, intimately, spiritually and so on. Added benefit of a man being genuine, respectful and a provider and optimal father figure. I'll rock with him any day over a man I'm simply attracted to physically.
Attractions do go far and don't last long. A terrible attitude can ruin a handsome or pretty face in a heartbeat.
I believe men feel like this sometimes as well. I
@@sweetdkinkycurls thats a woman in denial answer! the dude you talking about is the one yall say is the nice guy and he gets cheated on for the attractive broke guy that treats her like shit but got a 10 inch dick and can dig you out and make you have triple orgasms back to back to back then when you get your fill after cheating for a few months and you got it out your system and bragged to your bestfriend about it you run back to hubby who caught you and say to him "dont leave baby .. your the one i really want.. yeah he might look better than you, satisfy me more than you could but i will never love him like i love you" and then expect your husband to go, "oh ok honey well thats all i wanted to hear no problem baby i forgive you lets make this work" yall dont want to be held accountable for shit like this.. matter fact.. yall all pretend like either A. this never happens or B. when it does happen this man you just got dont saying you wanted somehow MADE you do this..
black women want black men to behave like cucks, yeah you had another mans cock in your mouth but lets put that aside and build this family, we got kids. HUH???
the problem is yall might need a whiteboy cause nothing will change with women that think like you, aint no real man going for that.. you got us fucked up. Take that cuck shit somewhere else. Good black men are rising up. Ya'll can keep the gang members, the rappers, the control freaks and the downlow black men.. us good black men are threw with ya'll.. wheres my proof? just look around.. i dont even know you but i can bet you cant count on your hands how many black women you know got a good black man that is high value and wanted by all the women in your community that never cheats, never lies, great father, provider, communicator and meets all your "needs".. nah you got a nigga that yall force yourself to see his "potential" cause you cant manifest and attract the real deal..
I agree with attractive being necessary, however attractive people are also humans that get tired sometimes. 😅
Kita always plays to the crowd 😮
The realest content I’ve seen in 2023💯
WOW!! That's well said brotha
Well stated brother
Postpartum, hormonal, knowledge of these very real dynamics is mainstream now. This is 2023. Not 1963.
Apparently not in this man’s superficial world.
If men and women want to make it in these time we HAVE to learn to not belittle each others stresses in life, both men and women are guilty of viewing the stresses each go through as nothing because they are not OUR stress so we don't see them as being much of anything and YES ladies there are times when a man just doesn't want to be intimate so don't take that as us dissing you.
Well said God. Straight up!!!
That guy out here spitting facts
Thank you, sir.
Sometimes it's mental. If you're not happy in the relationship that can play a part as well.
But you can't fall apart every time you are not happy GOTTA KEEP PUSHING 👍🏽emotions change daily
I know we on the company account… but… bars.
seems like a great conversation
If they'd let the men talk.
Well said Bro
He's right.
Bottom line is that if a woman is withholding sex from a man for any reason other than medical, then she is NOT genuinely attracted to him sexually and uses sex to manipulate him.
It's that simple because people do not deprive themselves of that which they get pleasure unless absolutely necessary to do so. So if a woman genuinely enjoys sex with a man, she is not going to deprive herself of that pleasure unless she absolutely has to and that's usually only due to some medical condition.
Don't misconstrue this to mean that a woman should have sex with a man any and every time he wants it or that she isn't sexually attracted to if she doesn't. I'm talking about cases where a woman withholds sex frequently and/or over an extended period of time (a month or longer).
Soo why arent TWO adults...come together in love and figure that shit out!!!
Amen Bruh Im Not Using That Excuse. Amen
Nope, and nope. He's working hard trying to provide, like I'm NOT? Like I'm not doing my part? Stop taking all the weight on you like we don't feel that shit too. Stop it. I'm busting my own ass to provide. I don't ever blame a man for not being in the mood tonight either tho.
Definitely agree with you, but MOST woman are not like you, they will always blame the man with any and every reason but give him the side eye when she gets turned down
@@psyco381A lot of that is social programming. Women are raised to think all men want is sex, and given men constantly talk about it and seek it, that gets reinforced. So when we get rejected there's a HUGE failure to compute. And the human brain seeks understanding so cheating or "he's not attracted to me" makes the most sense logically. Depending on the man and communication it should get better over time but that's the why behind the average woman's freak out.
I really like listening to him... cool dude!😊
Y’all act as if sex is a necessity to live it’s not. It’s meant to be a benefit of a relationship. and yes men can be too tired to have sex, men can suffer from depression that affects their sex drive and if you tell. Your woman that and she doesn’t understand that’s awful. However, some of y’all act as if sex some obligatory service that regardless of how your women feels hormonally or physically she should suck it up and perform. Y’all don’t feel weird being intimate with someone who you knows hearts not in it. Or better yet don’t you want to work with your partner to get them back to feeling better so that it doesn’t affect y’all’s intimate life ? And if your partner isn’t seeking help to address their low interest in sex with a medical professional that’s one thing. It’s completely different if your absolutely in dire need of sex even if your wife is battling PPD or managing a hormonal imbalance, that your gratification on demand is what matters.
I'd argue that physical intimacy is an indicator of and a key to a healthy relationship. Whether or not you accept that, history shows that when a couple stops having sex that relationship is in serious peril
@@jayjonah83it shouldn’t be to the woman demise of the physical and mental health though
@@jayjonah83 You disregarded all the valid points he made, like working with your partner to get them back to feeling better.
I'm going through this shit right now smh.
*People are NOT gonna like this but it's true. Some double standards work in a woman's favor and some double standards work in a man's favor.*
Its in the top three for us, right up there with protecting and providing for you ladies..... If we dropped the ball on protecting and providing for our wives(for ANY reason) it wouldn't be tolerated.
As a society in general we need to be more compassionate towards people's struggles and short comings, but not so much so that we are enabling people to stay stuck and prevent growth
They need to take the mic from a lot of women. They spew too much ignorance, negativity, self victimization, elective trauma, lies, etc. This is getting old and destroying the entire community.
Bruh dude was on point
I am all for for understanding women when it comes to discussions like this but I need straightforward communication I can't be expected to just assume or already know why you feel the way you do I need you to express yourself in a more in-depth way than just saying I'm tired or I don't want to etc there has to be something going on so that I can be helped to understand and maybe even solve it or at least have closure and not feel so frustrated. Because we're not in your skin and empathy only goes but so far when you don't understand the situation. And I definitely agree with him about the side when it comes to guys, we go through a lot of stuff with work just life in general and being expected to be very stoic but we Are not allowed to use that against our girl when it comes to her emotional communication needs I might not feel like hearing about her day or talking about the things she's interested in because of the stress I'm going through but I have to bite through that and it's not something that I feel like should be changed because sometimes you have to make sacrifices for your partner but I want similar effort done even if it's just you telling me what I need to do to make it easier for you to do that so that we're both happy in the long run
And that’s why we say they live life on east mode. They can make any excuse they want and, never be held accountable. But both points are valid and effort is key.
Leave women alone and be at peace.
Listen ladies its like this we understand you go to alot .We understand y'all are emotional creatures and that y'all process things very differently..As real men we have to be there on a drop dime no matter what because by nature were designed to protect, provide, and be your safety next emotionally, mentally, etc...No Real man wants to see his lady suffering at all, not if he can fix it PERIOD.. Although some women will check out , when its time to give that support and be that backbone that men may need...I've been there so im speaking from personal experience..
However ,being honest I wasn't perfect and neither was she, but I put that dam sled on my back each and everyday to make sure she was str8 and at times when I need something it didnt happen... My philosophy has always been, you don't walk I will, you do not go without because i will...if anybody has to hurt , i rather it be me than you and that weight be heavy sometimes, but men do what we have to because your ladies happiness is important.
So all I'm saying is, I understand that yall go thru things that we may never understand but I also realize that on the other hand we as men also go thru things that you could understand because we are taught to never be your woman seen you break down because you are that leader because if you fold , she might fold also.. At the end of the day I say this all the time and I'll standby it until I'm proven wrong,,,yes women take care of the household themselves and the kids facts no dispute but as A real man we take care of the house , the kids, and you becuase we are design by nature to make sure our significant others wants for nothing..We are bulit differently and real men with these standards will break the bodies down day in and day out to not fail at anything concerning there family..FACTS.
So at the end of the day both sides just need to listen up and and see where eachother is coming from because black love is the best love out there..Its rich in so many traditions
@@tavarshia3122 I try to make this short but I had too much on my mind
@@tavarshia3122what's TLDR?
@@Sunny-tc3ul too long didn't read
@@jackross956well damn 😅, I read it and it was quite nice 👍🏾
@@tavarshia3122of course. It's a perfect view point from a man but you don't care enough to know what he's talking about. But if you were the one ranting you'd expect everyone to be all ears.
He broke that big block engine all the way down
I love how he shut that narrative down so quick
He really didn’t though….. he didn’t understand her statement and it shows by his frustration. He doesn’t give a f about postpartum and hormonal shift that women go though on a weekly because he’s busting his ass to buy her a “bag”. All these woman are saying the same thing then maybe he should be more understanding instead of calling it an excuse because it isn’t
Forget a lifestyle, I’ve had that even before you came into the picture, I need a man, a leader, my confidant, someone who gone ride with me until the wheels fall off for real. Life actually does happen and both parties need to understand. Always make the effort, while being understanding.
Just a little insight!! If he's riding with you than he's not the leader you are and that's the problem women who think this way believe they have the say so when a man should be the leader and that's why so many relationships fail !! Of course there are some other things that go into it as well !
@@adriannichols1862 yeah you thought to much into that
Grow up sis. You're his helpmate not his newborn.
@@adriannichols1862Exactly
The music at the end of all these clips is like...."The saga continues...."
True facts!
What he said at the end is soooooo TRUE! as men we can’t use those words to a woman bc she will look we bums or ain’t shit smh
I agree with him , none of do we both have to move with intention. Man or woman ❤
I don't know..bcs for some men, it seems.. They can put all that other stuff to the side when it comes to satisfying their sexual needs. Not all men or all the time. But more often than not. And us women are wired differently, especially when it comes to hormonal and such. It isn't so easy for us to just switch it on and off as it can be for a man. At the end of the day, that's when having discipline and being patient and good communication with understanding comes in. For both parties!🙏🏿
I agree, but you must admit that there are women who use sex and affection as commodities to be withheld and doled out.
@@fcastle Yes , I agree.
Give grace.
Man, debating with the chics on that stage is like debating with the sun not to rise....
We ask that shit all the time. Sometimes the problem is that she doesn't want to address it. Her needs are met so in her eyes all is ok.
Women want so much time, patience, and grace for behavior/attitude changes that their Man request but changes INSTANTLY for her boss, clients, & customers at work...so she has the ability.
BARS!!!! 🎯 💯
I notice there is _no counterargument_ to this post. I hope everyone who read it is taking it seriously, though.
@@hotice8885 🙏🏾
♠️Bring it out♠️
She's not required to have sex with her boss and clients. What you talking about?
@@filmadcamp1512 put more simple women are willing to change for money but not for the love of her husband or vows to God.
guys would like the same grace women are afforded sometimes, that's all he's saying, many times it "seems" like we gotta perform regardless, and even when we express feelings on things it's like i hear you however still perform
I know me myself I dont intentionally withhold sex. Im just not interested in doing it all the time. Sometimes I may want to connect on a different level. Maybe have a good conversation, or Idk discover a new song.. watch a movie. I just dont need sex everyday. I know too, having sex when you dont really want to is cringy and boring.
I see your list of things. Does it even matter what your man wants?
Can your man say he doesn't want to do things for you financially because he just doesn't feel like it,
@@dredey1971It doesn't. And she would be shocked and heartbroken to find out her man is dealing with another woman.
@simonebracy9103 my first wife taught me that she wasnt there for me. The sex was just a symptom of a bigger problem. She enjoyed my provision and protection and lamented it was gone. But she never came to the conclusion that i wanted something from the marriage also. It wasnt 20 years wasted, it was 20 years learning.
@@dredey1971 We as black women need to do better and stop being deontological when it comes to our way of thinking. We have to understand that men are human too and have needs that differ from ours. Other black bitter women and not seeing a healthy black love relationship has messed us up. That's why black women are least likely to be married and grow old alone. And for those who don't desire marriage. We grown old with no man in our life.
Well I was married to a narcissist. Many men are narcissists and incapable of loving anyone but them. And NO he didn't give me comfortable life style. He worked in trucking and brought me back other ppl's used furniture. So it's laughable that I had a cozy lifestyle. I was alone, dealt with everything, including his psychotic ex-wife ALONE with zero support from him.... so once I got hip to the fact that I was married and alone got damn straight, I stopped being intimate with him.
Come to find out way later that he was never faithful any damn way.
Men always use this excuse that they provide for women when we know in many homes today, women are equal or provide higher than men... So when they're going through these hormonal issues & issues from equally hustling to provide for their home, what's the man's excuse then?
Also...women talk & men don't listen. Maybe these hormonal issues do not affect men the same way they affect women. We're all biologically different! Just because he ratted off his points with precision and eloquence doesn't mean he's right!
Listen to your woman or lose her!
It's equally been studied & researched that many men don't know how to sustain a woman's emotional needs...but let's ignore that!
There are women who live in mansions & wear expensive stuff but are also dying for more from their men.
The sooner we all sit down & actually listen to each other, rather than getting defensive, the sooner we'd begin having healthy relationships!
Knowledge!!!!
I agree with some of the stuff he said but he missed me with the provider part. Majority of female these day buss their ass just as much as men, while being hormonal and primary caregiver.
That’s y’all fault women wanted to be in the workforce yall wanted that not us. Y’all want to work so now y’all got to work🤷🏿♂️
@@mbonds44there's a reason why women sought to be in the workforce. Come on now.
@@mbonds44if you think women just got on their high horse and decided to join the work force then you are misguided. Women responsibility changed along with the men. They adapted to their environment.
The problem comes in a lot of ways where some, not all, women want to work get their "coins" and be able to provide but still want/need men to retain their same roles from 30+ years ago..Kinda duplicitous if you ask me..Find a balance and let that be what works in your relationship instead of blaming the man for a problem women largely solved..You're making more money than ever in history you got what you suffered for, for all those years..But the responsibility of being a breadwinner If not the sole breadwinner is a crown some can't handle all too well..
@@mbonds44Black women been in the workforce since the days of slave ships . Working has always been a part of black culture, male and female.
Most households are two income based, so his argument falls apart because most men today are NOT providing fully for women.
Most women today want a lifestyle they can’t afford. Men are trying to provide but are not making the income to support that type of lifestyle as well. It’s the harsh reality.
Both need to understand that and work with what they have and move forward in life.
A honest reality 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄most black men are not making that kind of money ,brothers on TH-cam with that level up 6 figure Kevin SAMUELS talk ain't no blue collar brothers making money like that 🙄first off the system is not going to allow it, it was all a SYSTEMIC plan to make black men to not be able to provide for their families.
@@characteristicallyauthenticA conversation most black women aren’t ready for. Most aren’t on that delayed gratification energy. The consumerism in the black community is out of control. And yet I see traditional black families like myself getting by on single income under 100k. So what’s the real problem here? Black women are disgustingly high maintenance and HAVE to work to maintain their own attachment to such standards. Not because men are incompetent.
She can say no to you for as long as she wants and that man gotta just deal with it.... it can be 2 years later and if all of a sudden she wants some and he says no now its a whole problem
Yep. My ex did this like I was supposed to be ready after all that time
My wife does that after a month. I’ve had thoughts about cheating or if she’s cheating. All of a sudden she wants it & it be weird bc it be at times when I’m a lil depressed about marriage, work, money… I don’t really be in the mood. She never worries about how I’m feeling but expects me to be there for her all the time. It’s rough being married 🤦🏾♂️
@@dellis4320have you spoken to her & had a conversation
I feel him
I told my wife the exact same shit the other day
Amen and I agree with him
Um people not having sex don't like sex. A relationship or marriage without regular sex is a roommate looking for a paycheck. Why get married if every feeling or hormone takes away desire. Go to the damn doctor and take something to get it back. Or perhaps you never had it before depression or hormones. Sex make absolutely everything better.. Adjusts and regulates everything good. So the more you get the more you should want. I have never ever understood why never giving it or wanting it was such a thing. Stay single. Sleep alone. Pay for your own shit. Leave people who want healthy relationships open to finding others who want the same.
You got men out here so stressed their thing don't work even when they want it to. Now their masculinity is questioned. Now there woman is wondering if they're the problem. He spoke facts
Lifestyle is not an mental health issue. Effort leans on depression. To built a relationship with you and yourself, you thrive to be with someone in your life. That's real an issue. Trauma, healing and building a relationship. It's a struggling sometimes.
Women have a hard, accepting accountability for not being their for us. It's always all about them.
BARS!!!!!!!!!!
I will give a man the same breaks he gives towards me. Yes. But do not try to manipulate or threatened me.
Is the effort.
We Need more Education and help with your Whole Wellness. From head to toe. I never knew if my ex had p out pregnancy issues I automatically kicked in. And It created a spoiled monster instead.
FACTS!!
Men gotta perform on gameday.
But then have to "be understanding" when women come short.
Men work everyday depressed, sick, dying inside. Steady stay providing. At least good men do. No excuses.
Start how u wanna finish simply
It goes hand and hand i’ll give a hard working providing man the world
He do realize most relationships DON'T have the man paying for everything...its usually 50/50...or some version where we BOTH have to chip in to run the household...THEN he says men can't use the excuse of I'm going thru some things mentally as a reason for not sexing...but on the flip side apparently WOMEN can't use that excuse EITHER because not getting enough sex been men's excuse for cheating forever...smh...so NOBODY can get away with mental health being an accepted reason...To me it just seems like people don't know what REAL love is! Love is if you see me struggling with something then HELP me...or at least hold enough space for me to get the help I need..not just say ....fuck it...imma cheat or whatever ur vice is...watching these snippets is eye-opening and sad...
Your absolutely incorrect smh. Most relationships is men that pay for everything or at least the most of it. Majority of yall women dont accept a man and a relationship where its 50/50. So stop the cap.
Agreed
Facts. Not only that but women coerce men into sex by internalizing his no and lashing out, and sometimes questioning men's sexuality. It's more than a lack of grace, it's a lack of consent. Men's sexual "no" isn't respected and arent included in consent discussions or allowed to be the sexually violated party.
I've never heard or had a man say NO to sex. Most men don't.
And the guy talking gave a window as to why that might be. He said, men aren't allowed to say no to sex even if they experience similar issues like mental health;depression. And instead of listening to a man describe the lack of consent and agency men experience to be good men, you make it about yourself and oversimplification. This is gRape Culture. @@simonebracy9103
@@simonebracy9103 I've heard many women asking if a man is gay because she gets turned down..
THEY DO NOT GET ENOUGH GRACE FOR IT NO⚠️‼️⚠️
One of the biggest double standards out there
Boy even in the heat of battle he just miss😊
When we men withhold physical intimacy from women, so many things about us are immediately questioned, including but not limited to our sexual orientations. It's as if society thinks that every man wants sex all the time. It's not that kind of party for every man who's attracted to women. I should be able to turn down sex from a woman just like anyone else.
Being tired from a job and mental health post partum is two different things!!!! We all work get tired but when the mind is effected it wont allow you to pretend and proceed it don't work like that fellas!!
Do you know what a man goes through when hes tired from a job!!!!!?
@@eltonjohn4239 ooh please stop we have children and go back to work in 4 to 6 weeks!!! If we cant have excuses yall cant neither!!
@allergictotheworldfitness33 the man just said we couldn't have an excuse....what the hell are you talking about
Stress is mental
Like most in this comment section you are trying to compare the CAUSES of stress rather than the stress itself.
Just because it's something YOU think is small doesn't change the fact that it still weighs heavy on that person, like the kids who got a A- instead of a A+ on a test.....doesn't seem like a big deal to most people but to them it's EVERYTHING and will weigh on them just as much as someone who just lost their job and is about to be evicted