Living in Africa is Hard. What I've Learned.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 พ.ค. 2024
- Living Abroad comes with challenges but many more opportunities for growth. It ain't easy, but it's worth it.
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Videos that helped me share my story:
📌Women of Impact - GIRL, GET UP! - Destroy Negative Thoughts & FIND YOUR WORTH | Sarah Jakes Roberts
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In this video:
African Americans in South Africa, Johannesburg, Cape Town, Sandton, KZN, Durban, KwaZulu-Natal, Chaka Zulu, Khoisan, Zulu, Xohsa, The Real South Africa, Parkhusrt, Sepedi (also known as Sesotho sa Leboa ), Sesotho, Setswana, siSwati, Tshivenda, Xitsonga, Afrikaans, English, isiNdebele, isiXhosa, isiZulu, Nigeria, Lesotho, Black Americans, White Americans, Apartheid, South African History, Wendy Appelbaum, De Morgenzon Wine Estate, Donald Gordon, African American Woman Returns Home to South Africa
Feeling the same here in America as a new continental African immigrant. Here the experience is even worse because people are not friendly or care about your welfare as it is in Africa. Your neighbors don't even say hello, it's weird; you say hello and most times they don't respond.
That means you're not in the South.
@@RoadMapInvestments you'd be surprised how even the friendliest people are only friendly to their own...
It's true. It feels so rude to say hello to someone and they just assume. It's the order of the day in New York. Just fake smiles that mean nothing to anyone.
Oh yes, indeed, you're right about that; Americans don’t have what South Africans have. I have been in the USA for almost 30 years, but it feels like I am just getting there. Glad I'm a dual citizen. Everyone in America thinks about themselves and their families. They don't have time for babysitting foreigners. After all, the life phase is fast over here. If you don't have clicks, at church, you own your own. I give the Nigerians community a 👏 and other Africans; nations they support each other in America; if one of their own is struggling, they help out. People things America is all that, No! Some Black Americans live in the projects or apartments; not everyone owns a home in America, a few out of 50%. Black Americans own the house. It can be stressful living like that; that is why they move out from America to do what they must do, to survive, try to go where they can be expected and leave their American dream to Africa freely, specifically in SA. I respect that. But still, they don't have that called Ubuntu over there. Yeah, few, but not really. So when they get to Africa and SA, they get shocked to see how people welcome them. Some black Americans will ask you why are you here 😄. They believe that you come from the jungles. One time in San Diego, some African American, I was dropping my dry clean; he asked me where I got those nice clothes because African people don't have clothes. I told him you have to get out under this shadow mask of yours and try to travel to see the world. Then you will see how beautiful Africa is. That was an insulting question. So when I came to pick up my dry cleaned, one of my jeans was not in there; when I asked him if I didn't see my jeans and purchased those jeans from Truworths, he had an attitude hoping that I would blackout. I asked to speak to the owner of that cleaner, and luckily the owner showed up before he said. The owner was from Greece; he wondered what the problem was. I showed him my receipt 🧾 told him I was missing my jeans. He asked him where are this lady's jeans, found out that he took it and I never got those jeans 👖 back then. The owner said I should not pay for my dry clears, and he asked how much my jeans cost. I told him no, I could pay for my cleaners. All I wanted was my jeans. He said I should come back the next day, so when I came back, the owner said he went to check the cleaning facility the people who do cleaning said they did send it with all of my Clothes, and the African American man, who was talking all that smack to me he was not there. The owner said I could pay you to get other jeans. I said that was special and they don't sell in America. Yeah, so my point is that most African Americans don't care about you being over there. Some are not commutating unless you have something they can get from you, then you can be around their circle after they get what they wanted they done with you. I know what I am talking about. Some Blacks Americas, hmm if you said hello to them, they asked if I know you?. But when they get to SA and other parts of the continent, they want a red carpet. So about the neighbours, that's true it's a normal thing for them. As I said, everybody minds their own business; I hope you see that as well. And it's their culture, and nobody can change that; it's their lifestyle for years unless they go out there to learn how to treat other people with respect the way South Africa respect them. Also, their problem is if you respect them, they think of you as weak. That's how they do, But if you use cussing MF words, you will get respect because that's their language. Yeah, foreigners who go to America cash a hell too. Nothing is easy when you live far from home. But in South Africa, everybody comes in and feels at home quickly. I see my American neighbour after six months or a year and am cool about that. Because I usually move around a lot. If they speak, I speak. If not, 🤷♀️then keep moving. I learn that from them. So really, South Africans are welcoming people on the planet, and they will pick you up if you need a ride and give you information without charging you. So everywhere people relocate to, it will be a challenge, and you have to make it on your own, especially in America or come back home. Yeah, life is a challenge. You have to fake it until you make it. That's how the Movie Stars do.
we’ll i am A Native New Yorker and when you live outside of the New York City area people are generally friendly !! and will speak to you. I speak to people on a daily basis so that’s natural of all New York. we do speak an offer and lend a helping hand. New Yorkers do help each other it just depends on where you are in New York
My humble advice to AA brothers and sisters is to choose one country, choose a host tribe or family and settle there without moving so much. I say that because though your free American spirit and nomadic lifestyle is great it could also work against you.
I will try to explain by telling you experiences i had with few AAs, i met this one couple we vibed a lot, i helped them a bit, spoke of the future and almost introduced them to my close circle, but suddenly they went silent and without explanation, the other day i see them onlline with new friends. Another one i was in contact with for a while, i felt a connection but again they abruptly left the country to another and communication died too, another just gave me a wrong number.
I thought i had wronged these people some how until someone else shared the same experience and explained that its just the American spirit (no permanent friend or enemy, just permament interest).
We Africans as you might have noticed are very tribal and communal so loyalty is a big thing for us. Nomadic people are never valued very much and are viewed as untrustworthy for long term involvement. We have a saying in swahili which says “Msafiri kafiri” meanig “A nomad is ungodly or uncultured” which basically advises against attachment to a passing by guests.
It could maybe also explain some of the negative experiences you have been experiencing in these countries such as overcharging, visas, lonelyness etc. Our people could be open to you but still sensitive to that American spirit in you. Don’t lose contact when you leave, build and keep a strong African connection where you’ve been.
I still dig AAs though, we share blood imo!
You are 100% right.
You are so wrong, but sorry about your experience trying to connect us. Most of us are on a journey much larger then a town, tribe or country. Please try to understand us before attempting to befriend us.
@@AfrimericanSoul wow
This is so rude. Geez!
Wow. Your explanation is so interesting to me… especially when that “ nomadic lifestyle” is definitely a thing in the United States.
Agree 💯 coming from such a narcissistic nation of USA 🇺🇸, humility is required. U must squash all that Pride & Arrogance so u can live in harmony & enjoy ur New Life in ur New country. Ashley u r doing a phenomenal job & soon there will only be highs. Because “GOD did NOT give U the spirit of fear, but a spirit of LOVE, POWER & a SOUND MIND”. Amen 🙏🏾!
All of this and only LOVE ❤️
Pride and Arrogance is not exclusive to one landmass. If that's the case, African immigrants wouldn't be dripping in arrogance and Xenophobia towards Black Americans
I'm completely different so I can't relate. I was living in Asia for 5 years and now I'm in Africa. I really enjoy my own company and I meet people along they way.
That’s the mindset! I genuinely get over the moon meeting new black folks especially from other part of the continent. I believe for you to enjoy Africa you have to leave all that western idea back in the west and go fully African. Easier said than done but I think that’s the way to go. When I do eventual move to Africa the only thing that I’d have connecting me to the west is the damn internet and that’s solely for business purposes. Outside that? I couldn’t give a shit! Even currently I don’t care about the glamour and the illusion of inclusion the west has to offer .
@@olufemi42it's all fake
I lived in Uganda for four years. In the beginning it was tough but ones I got use to the culture and the way of life I loved it. The one thing I can say when moving to any country in Africa is have your money straight and always have a cushion.
Did you receive any benefits from that country? Probably not
@@robertsaunders1288 Benefits? Lol! Only if i came as a refugee.
@@robertsaunders1288 Are you a white American? It’s interesting to me that the comments white Americans leave on these videos is always fixated on the economic benefits of the US versus another country. It’s like all they can consider is what’s financially transactional versus quality of life or spiritual atmosphere
@@utamu80 They have to consider quality of life but they're probably understanding that this is something that can be bought. And they are probably right about that. As for a spiritual atmosphere, as an African American, I also don't know what that means so I have not considered it with regard to my move to Africa or here in America. My concerns are about quality of life, reconnecting with our roots, and of course the financials.
It is important to build an expat network before moving to a new country. Make new friends, fresh start means new beginnings.
If you are religious, Church will be the starting point to establish a family that you can trust and rely on. But the good news is that loneliness begins to fade away in a couple of months as you become accustomed to a new life surroundings.
My sister, Ashley we are happy for choosing SA as your preferred country of relocation, we love you family.
Good luck with your journey back home.
You are home now,may God lead you exactly to your blood relatives so that your body will tell you that you are where you belong and you will naturally let go of your senses of you needing to protect yourself from harm.
Ngiyabonga
@@AshleyinAfrika wow 👌 u so quick in learning u already typing in Zulu....great staff....u will find happiness 😊 🙂 ☺
I make friends so easy I forgot I was in a new place. Been doing it for years I talk to everyone and I'm always smiling and laughing. It's about being comfortable in your own skin. If you relax people around you will. Culture, race and nationality means nothing. Be a strong light.
All advice and welcoming hearts are from genuine love.
Well,our worlds are far apart as we different from one another.
As for me ,my love is from the feeling of confusion on how to comfort a child that was away from home for more than 400 years.
The bottom line is that we need her to learn our ways so that she may not feel alienated from her real roots.
Surely, friends made through business deals are not your family but just strangers that love what they can get from your friendship but what we wish for her is to naturalize and be a Zulu,Sotho,Venda or Tsonga for the sake of her descendants.
She may not be comfortable as she is already an adult but we don't want her descendants to be known as foreigners in land of their forefathers.
She is a brave woman and she will find herself in us.
I am a South African and once lived in rural Japan for 5 yrs as an English teacher. It was a different ball game all together, English is dololo - non existent, even if people speak English, it is very rudimental.
How, I survived, I affirmed my position, I am Black, I am African, I am Motswana and a very stubborn South African. I admitted that I will never be Japanese from day one. Instead of learning the hardcore Japanese, I learned conversational Japanese language essentially to get by. I never wanted to assimilate into the culture. To keep me going, I was more into studying Japan.
I remember an American friend from Chicago, Illinois used to lough at me, saying it is as if, I came to study the world. I studied Japanese history, military, economics, their relationship with the US and travelled their country all the way up north to Hokkaido. That's what kept me going for that 5 years.
My point is, as an expat, you need to focus on what really matters to you, which is business, and understand why you left America. You really need to be focused in South Africa.
Also, don't be hard on yourself, stay true to your American culture and identity and enjoy your life in South Africa in your own terms. If you want to assimilate, good luck.
The difference is that ppl from USA r not here to study or work and leave. They r here to stay! Forever. Assimilation is key
@@skiski1504 assimilation is not as easy as we think. It means losing yourself and becoming part of the broader group. For a diverse country such as ours, where do you even start?
To others, assimilation lead to burn out and mental breakdown, then you will have a stream of videos, "I hate South Africa!", "don't come to South Africa!". I strongly believe people should remain who they are and concentrate on what work best for them.
People have a right to live anywhere in this world and should not be forced into something they are not. Whether they live in South Africa for the next thousand year, they should not be forced to assimilate. Let them retain their true identity and live side by side with everyone as long as they don't impose their cultures to the locals.
Assimilation remains a boring colonial and slave - trade construct that deprive people their very existence. Already, they have gone through that. Do you want them to go through anotherhardship of fitting in the broader society?
Let people live in ZA in their own terms please and not force people to assimilate into things that they don't know.
@@skiski1504 i was going to say the same thing. I do believe u can assinilate without loosing who u are
@@mopailothatelo583
I agree with you. Assimilation is the word the colonizers use when they want you to lose your identity. They use the word frequently in American politics.
@@skiski1504 While many are, not everyone from the USA is here to stay. Everyone's experience is different and we all can learn from that experience...I visited the continent for the first time in 2020, Rwanda to be exact and I was there for 90 days. I went back in 2021 for 60 days and I just returned to the US after 90 days last week. I love it and plan on retiring there. I'm learning enough of the language to be functional but I have no intent of trying to master it. I love the culture, it makes me appreciate my US experience even more.. To me, I have the best of both worlds. For me, I can get in where I fit in and still be me. I think the Rwandans really appreciate that.
Excellent video Ashley I moved from the states 11 months ago to live my dream in South Africa right here in Johannesburg and the only difference that I miss from back home aka the deep SOUTHERN south in America is understanding what another brother or sister is having a conversation about so... I been here so long im used to it now and know alot of good people
Believe you me you will in time,just a word per day you'll get there.
Thank you for sharing this. With every challenge we still find gratitude.
Thanks you 😘
Don't even worry, it's always gossip 🤣🤣
Let’s build a southern community in joeburg
It's not hard in Egypt. I've been here 2 months, almost 3 and settled in nicely. There is no bribery, psychological games being played about tribal nonsense, and, all your expenses are clear cut. The lights are always on and there are no water or supply chain issues. Egyptian people are nice, humble, gracious and helpful. Concierge services are next level. They focus on repeat patronage not jacking people all day calling it bribery. I don't have to throw myself under their culture, bow down or be expected to bow down. They accept us for being us. The tourist attractions are the only place you have to be concerned about being hustled. Regular life is pleasant and easy.
Hey @hybrid info desk, out of interest have you moved from America?
@ZolaMarcelle Yes, a long time ago
@hybridinfodesk409 but engypt is not technically africa
@vusumuzimathumo-githendu6949 It is, they sell collard greens, ribs, grilled corn on th cob, sweet potatoes, okra, string beans, ribs and grits. They even have big bags of kool-aid like stuff.
My hair, which is similar to yours, is more of a bush except the top, which is a very loose wave. I see it everywhere in Egypt. I see little girls with puffs.
I was walking the other day and saw a girl with my hair. She had a fire cut. I walked up to her and asked her what salon. She told me she was lebanese and those were her natural curls. I told her I had curly hair like hers, too. Mine's was pulled back in a sleek ponytail, so you couldn't tell. She gave me the salon. The cultural atmosphere here is wonderful. It's more about classism than racism. Black Americans are treated great.
I was 20 when I visited many cities , and fell in love 💕 with Acapulco. I am 79 and living in Querétaro,Mexico. Earthquakes were the deal breakers for Acapulco. USA is too deadly and expensive.
Get ready to stand long line, when the bank runs start here. ATMs empty, and cash at the store etc.
Just move.
I moved to Mexico at 79, because USA is too expensive and deadly.
When I live in Italy, after about six months it hit me in the middle of a food court at a shopping center. In a place full of people but feeling so alone. But you work through it then you start thinking about living and enjoying your life.
It be in the most random places 😩😂
@@AshleyinAfrika and I moved 10 years ago from the Free State to Cape Town. And it still hits me randomly on my couch on a Saturday afternoon. Clearly it's something we all feel. Love and light Ash. This is home.🤗
can we just stop saying Africa like is a country!! Africa is a continent with 50+ nation!!!
Amen to that!!
It’s because as black Americans we feel that black is black. We don’t want the division of this or that kind of African. Most feel that it should be ONE AFRICA just like it was before the colonizers created the lines of division.
My exactly sentiment
@@vbarbara3235 The problem with this is that when you experience a problem in say South Africa, you just say Africa as if Africa is monolithic. Experience differs from one country to another and one region from the other.
@@lapengpropertyagentslapeng1439 Nah…you’re going too far with that theory. Most of us are all progressive enough to know the difference between this and that country and the people of the region. I’ve never done that and I don’t know any that think that way.
When we say black is black, as mentioned we simply don’t see the division or see the need for tribalistic thoughts. Most feel that if you’re a black African you should have the unity in thought that we’re just all black. That would put us in a strong position against a colonizing mind that wants to take over on you. You have to be cognizant of the fact that it put us in that position in the past….and they recognized it and took advantage of it.
I moved from Eastern Cape to Gauteng to Western Cape and that was not easy, especially my move to Western Cape because I had no family or friends there, I can only imagine how hard it is to move to another continent with children. Stay strong cc.
I think alot of AAs choose South Africa because they are looking for a soft landing. But they miss out on a host of other countries
a lot of them chose Ghana
So true. They choose countries that can offer them something that's not far from what they are used to.
True and it was my reason to start out with Johannesburg. I wanted to slowly transition yet also be on the motherland. I am being led and guided by the most high and my next step to my journey he will lead me to. For now he has put it in my spirit to remain where I have a spiritual family, protection and guidance. ❤️👑🙌🏾🙌🏾
@@masonamaitiswritten5305 lol.. another religious tool talking about the most high and he must do this.. bla bla bla.. hahaha
I agree, I think a straight b line to the Congo is best bet for authentic experience
thank you for showing some love for South Africa... it's good to see our African people visiting their home lands ❤️❤️❤️
I have so much love for South Africa. Always and foever.
I know you gonna love her, cos she is American, you are going to hate Nigerians right?? don't worry we will come for you.
@@johnnwabuforudemezue1108 Lmao, very true. Americans are not probablematic so we have no issues with them. Nigerians too were welcome till they started taking us for a poes. Work on yourselves, be and do better.
@@johnnwabuforudemezue1108 is this needed?
@@johnnwabuforudemezue1108 we don't have problems with our other fellow Africans the problem is when you do as you please in our Country, producing drugs here and not respecting us. It's a NO my brother
It’s really understandable and family is everything, hope SA treats you so well we love you ❤️
I am infinitely grateful to SA. I feel the love and I share it with you too.
Some family in Africa are useless! in some countries in Africa once you come from Europe or US or wherever they will use you as a cow milk!
Hey Ashley, I feel you girl. I'm a single mom here in Tanzania. The relationships I've made here is what keeps me sane. I actually will be working on a project that will help single parents coming to Tanzania.
Connect with Kenya
I'm also a single mom in Tz.
@@kongowea9903 Hi, how are you enjoying TZ? How long you've been here?
Hi..Adrean, I've been in Tz over a year.
I’ve always wanted to go to Merelani Hills and Pemba Island.
Joburg will soon be introducing a 24 hour work night time economy, same as in the US, supermarkets, gyms, cinemas, restaurants will be opened 24hrs. Getting things done and not restricted by time are all effective in reducing stress and improve overall psychological well being. Exciting times ahead for us and our city's economic growth.😚
That sounds intense. Innovation is exactly that.
Contrary to popular belief those establishments you've named don't mostly operate 24 hours in the USA. I'm based in Boston and most malls operate between 10am-9pm whilst most restaurants are closed by 11pm. Whilst most chain supermarkets will operate between the hours of 6am- 10pm. What keeps the economy going around the clock in the USA is the behind the scenes operations like construction, working internally stocking shelves, manufacturing/processing, packing and shipping, trucking, airlines, railroads, buses, cargo ships, uber, port facilities,
Amazon Fulfillment Centers ect. Whilst most businesses are closed after 10pm, you will notice that there are people working on the streets, trucks moving, night shift staff going in for overnight stock shelving and in some big cities busses operating from 5am- 1am.
@@tyali84 Yup. Not to mention closing businesses at certain times helps to mitigate issues related to crime, and maybe even energy costs.
Why would SA do that? Genuine question. What is the benefit of having businesses work 24/24. I mean i understand for pharmacies, gaz stations, nightclubs and.bars. Whats the point on having a gym open at 3 oclock in the morning. Just asking
@@africaine4889 100% valid point. How many people would wake up at midnight to release sweat at the gym? I would often even hear people back home arguing that it would be great having malls operating 24hrs a day like the US (FYI no mall like that i know if in the US). How many people would wake up at 1am because of a sudden train of thought to going to the mall for an outfit🤔.
Interesting topic. Here in America I always try to reach out to Africans who are living in America ( at least those who are approachable) They all seem confident, independent and self reliant. Actually they seem to fit right in.
Where are you located in Africa
@@talkingwithtangi2914
But I said " here in America that I reach out to Africans who are living here. Don't know how you got it twisted but I'm located in the states.
How do you know they're Africans lol? Just because someone is black, in the states doesn't mean they come from Africa.
I've been in east Africa since Oct 2020, first in Dar es salaam and now Mombasa, Kenya. I'm just an American living in Africa.... I'm not trying to learn Swahili... that's work. .. I'm retired, so for me it's cost of living and women 😁. ... With inflation taking hold back home I'm lucky to be here financially. Monthly budget $700usd and I'm not slumming . Here you can employ a house keeper to cook, clean and do laundry for $84.00/month. That's not low balling, that's the going rate. I have a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment bright and clean in a building with a elevator and 24/7 security. For $196.00/month. I'm just chilling.... They love everything American here, they really do.
$196??? Kenya 🇰🇪 you say? 🤔
@@talkingwithtangi2914 actually it's 23,000kes.... the shilling is losing value against the USD
I'm an aspiring expat. I've made it a point to visit my country of destination many times, and longer and longer visits. You are so right. Somewhere around visit number 3, I started looking at the things I fell in love with in a new light. It went from seeing a queue of people waiting outside at the bank, neat and orderly and thinking wow, look at how orderly they are, to wait, that will one day be ME waiting in that line annoyed, because I'm going to be in the bank for an hour or two waiting.... You definitely need to be eyes wide open. New can look like paradise, until it is no longer new.
You've so been so brave Ashley, I can see how hard it can be but know one thing you growing and one day it will be all worth it. I'm sure it will take time , it a journey but we here for you if you need anyone to lean on or ask something we here. I know you will connect with right people who will be for you and you end up feeling comfortable. I know that lifestyle in US and SA is not the same. SA is slower pace so you get to feel and think, you will reach your sweet spot but change is not easy but it worth at the end you need to give some time. If you open yourself we will be open to you too. We are loving nation if you open to it. Wishing all the best my sister, everything will be okay.
All Thanks to The Most High for this video. My Spiritual Family is what I'm searching for. Amen
You will find them and they you. 🙏🏾
My son and I are in JHB and been here for a month. Thanks to my spiritual family we were able to transition beautifully! My spiritual family helped me and my son to navigate on our own when they can't be there. The people here are so friendly and the air (spiritual air) is so welcoming. I'm at the point of trying to extend my visa to stay longer and trying to find where to go because I keep getting the wrong information where to go. If you know please share with me where I am to go! Thanks beloved!❤️
Stayed in South Africa for all of December and January... Stayed in Cape Town and Port Elizabeth, visiting all in between. It's an amazing experience. An easy place to travel for African Americans or any westerner as the translation of foods and language is easy. Once you've digested the magnificent views, food, wineries, coast and people, you can begin to recognize the social issues and challenges. Luckily I traveled and stayed with South African, and was able to get a fast track to the culture as my wife Is South African. Some of the issues that you can notice is the colorism between blacks (as we'd call and categorize all of us) and you will then realize that the colorism separates coloreds from blacks and will then notice that those favored are blacks, excluding coloreds. Now it can be quite hard to understand but, although educated, coloreds (such as you and me) are not employed in many cases and have become somewhat of the outcast. Imagine the Khoisan tribe are coloreds and now these days, those who identify as Khoisan are an ostracized minority, not just inside their country but also within the coloured community. After speaking with many coloreds, I can say that the South African experience for them is quite similar to being black in America. Have you yet to identify these underlying issues? Perhaps this is a topic you can discuss. With all that I've shared, I will still continue to visit SA yearly for summer. I am still absolutely in love with South Africa.
Hi SquawkTradeFX. Thank you for sharing your experience and your genuine curiosity of this topic.
I am aware of the perspective you are sharing and it is quite dynamic. I choose to be sensitive to the cultural differences and social norms that exist in this country as experiences that I have not had and cannot speak on with and objective perspective. From my experience, these conversations are better had in communities where there is an intention set for safe and healthy dialogue including people with lived experiences and social media isn’t often the space.
Thanks again for your comment.
@@AshleyinAfrika Loving your vids! Thanks.
You know SA is a complex society, so complex that sometimes us south Africans, we can't fully comprehend it ourselves. Please don't jump to conclusions fast when analysing us. Our diverse cultures are interlinked. The lines separating us culturally are thin. For example, Batswana and the Sans are one (No such thing as khosans, we have khois and Sans) xhosa's are linked with the khoi , we just speak a different language. Go to Northern cape province to see what i mean. You mentioned Ashley looking colored, to many here Ashley looks motswana/sotho or even xhosa. She doesn't look like a typical colored here. Southy is complex! And we love it like that.
Go easy on yourself Ashley, same thing happens when we move provinces and are forced to learn new languages and cultures. It takes a while, and after a while when one looks back, their initial friendships have long been forgotten- they have served their purpose.
You will find your groove. ❤️
I couldn’t agree more. In my travels, most of my relationships with people have a beginning and ending. It used to pain me so when it was time to leave…my heart would until one day I began to understand that all true relationships serve a purpose…I will always cherish the moments I’ve had with people, with human beings…
Glad to hear an African American sista at least learning about polygyny outside of a european Westernized filter and really seeing perspectives from OUR people.
Your expat journey and courage to step out into the unknown and excepting the challenges (which are gifts) of Life very inspirational.
Wish you and your children continued success on your journey my sista.
Love from Oakland, Ca
Thank you 😊
Great video, you articulate very well and I truly can relate; now that I'm retired and am planning to move to South Africa in the next year, this is invaluable information. I was there last year and I saw the beauty of the country, but as you've outlined so well, there is a lot to absorb and one must learn to pace themselves. Thank you for the excellent.
Thank you for sharing the real and raw details of your experiences
You are amazing. You are beautiful, you are LOVED!!!!! You are awesome. You have no no idea how much I am proud of you! Sis, queen! You made me happy! 💗💗💗💗💗
Ashley I think that part of your struggle has been because you are expatriating alone. That is not a criticism. It's just an observation. I notice that most diaspora moving to Africa are couples or families. But hats off to you for having the courage to make this journey alone.
Am a Nigerian living in the UK honestly speaking I don't feel at home here just managing my self due to work and other things which is totally different from the way I grew up in my country.
I love watching your journey. It’s very inspiring. I’m a mom too, so I can completely understand where your heart is. Sending you love. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.
Thank you so much
Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable. This was so so so informative.
Thank you for being so honest. This is exactly what happens when people move, or travel for extended periods of time. 💝🥺
This is your home 🙌❤️That's all that matters... We will support you every step
Enkosi brother ❤️
@@AshleyinAfrika You welcomed ❤️
Got a lot of respect for you for how you're completing your journey to the other side. Keep your head up.
Thank you family 😊
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences 🤗
Yoh Sisi, you are so humble; it is like you grew up in some village. Also, the positive vibes you exude and the ever present mirror to reflect on. Wish you good luck in your journey.
Hearing you in Rwanda. Especially the part about, 'that visa situation is a lot,' and 'challenges with banking.' **stares at 20 unresponded WhatsApp messages to account manager... eyes narrow... slowly reaches for lighter... sets fire to phone** And the friends you make on the road are often friends for life, however far apart you eventually live or however long between seeing each other. The life experiences you share are so intense, it really does bond you. Stay happy, stay healthy - drink gin.
I lived the expat life and I feel you. However, keep moving forward, but ensure you have a support network and a method to manage those feelings. Lastly, come up for air when you need a break. I'm supporting you and I have subscribed my sista. Stay up! 👊🏾
The part when you spoke about "having to humble oneself" really resonated with me. Your perspective got across. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Thank you so much for this, Ms. Ashley! Im also a newly single mom of 3, currently residing in MI, researching to make a move to Johannesburg SA in the next few months. I would love to connect to learn more if possible. I just subscribed here& followed on IG. Your honest opinion and insight is highly appreciated. God Bless & Congratulations on your beautiful journey! The Lord will continue to move on your behalf. 😊
I have never been in your situation with regards to relocating, but I can just imagine what you are going through. The leap of faith you took is amazing and eventually things will sort themselves out and in no time you'll be comfortable don't look back, you've come this far. It will only get better going foward
You are lucky or you must have many South Africans in your area. Fellow Africans take care of their own my experience.
Thank you Sister
Thank you for sharing your open, heartfelt experience of being an expat in Africa. It sounds challenging, but intriguing.
We are happy to have you here. Just found your channel, and subbed.
You are so on point! I love your mind and your voice! And your hair too!
Thank you Ashley all the best blessing to you. 🌼🌻🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦
Received and affirmed 😊
@@AshleyinAfrika
🇿🇦🌼🌻🇿🇦
I am South African living in Canada for over 20 years. To me one of the most difficult things was to have a baby in Canada. It was just me and my husband and IT WAS HARD! No break from a colicky baby. People here are nice but not friendly. Its still difficult trying to navigate life as a black person in an almost all white society. Life as an expart is difficult no matter where you go.
I miss Mzansi❤🇿🇦❤
Exactly. This is the point of this message and I’m sure it hits different for you. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. 💛
Just seeing this channel…..we were in Joburg weeks ago and enjoyed it. The locals kept saying it’s so much crime. We didn’t see it as bad as they kept saying…..so we’re trying to figure out if they’re fearful in general (or exaggerating)… or what were we missing. It seemed like the same level or less crime in most big cities we know in the U.S. We found that everything closed super early….that drove us crazy.
@@vbarbara3235 The crime is incredibly bad in Johannesburg.
@@whocares151 - We saw some areas as rough (like the Central Business District), but we just saw more areas that were nice in Joburg than rough. It could be because we’ve seen some rough areas in the U.S…but Joburg seems to have less crime in other areas we’ve seen in the States.
But I do recognize that we don’t live there either. Maybe it’s something we could only see over time.
@@vbarbara3235 Yes the 67 murders a day must just be a figment of our imaginations.
YOUR WELCOME DEAR AND THANK YOU!!
Lay the foundation for your family,your relatives and your society for a future hiding place when the world be in turmoil.
Thank you Ashley for sharing.🌍
Hey Ashley, amazing information as always. I really like the fact that you share the LOW not just coming up with the HIGH all the time. The part that really resonates with me is the absence of family and friends you grew up with. Same for Africans raised in Africa who relocated abroad. Me as example, sometimes I miss my childhood friends but that’s life. Am sure over time you will make new friends as you continue to integrate with the motherland. I like when you speak about SPIRITUAL family. It’s the COMMUNITY SPIRIT of us African. We are SPIRITUAL BEING. Thanks for all the information you are sharing helping people who want to also join the movement of going to live and do business in motherland. I love motherland and sometime in the future I will also return SURELY.
I’m so glad this resonated with you. 💛
Ashley, I have been living in Zimbabwe since 1994, and I have had my ups and down, but over all, I can say, is getting out of racist America was the best move I ever made.
This was a great adult and vulnerable conversation. Life is a struggle but you will make it because you are a strong person from within. Don't be too hard on yourself. Take everything one day at a time, I had to learn that myself. Life will throw many things your way but you the person have to know what you will catch or reject. I moved to a foreign country years ago. It was hard and a big culture shock for me. what kept me going was my vision and my goals which I kept in front of me always and never allowed myself to lose sight of it. I learn to never let my guard down. But to be kind and gentle to others and allow others to give me advice even if I may not like it. This always gives me a chance to think and reflect.
Thank you for your kind and thoughtful comment. 💛
I traveled as a healthcare professional for 15 years. I was constantly moving and meeting new people every 12-24 weeks. I have strong family ties but i feel that you can only grow when you test yourself and your limits. I learned so much and grew within my profession.
That being said, my move to Africa wasnt a culture shock having worked in the Caribbean. The games and "insincere welcome to the family while i try to rob you and run tired games" got old fast from Nairobi to Arusha and Dar.
As we say in America " one monkey dont stop no show" ( meaning: one setback should not impede progress). So keep moving towards your goals and vision that God put in your heart. He will bring the right people to you in His time and you are never alone. God is no further than a thought away.
Beautiful story can't wait to Journey back to Africa I stayed in Tanzania for 10 and 1/2 months and I cried when I had to come back over to the states. Thank you for your truth🥰💚
I am not an expat yet but I’m so glad you normalized some of these feelings.
What are you waiting for? pack your bags and come to Africa😗
So many of us go through it, it took me a while to find the words.
Dear sister Ashley, you are absolutely breathtaking! Bold, powerful, goal-oriented, with business savvy. Blessings sister.🤎🤎
Thank you so much!
Keep ya head up, and we are all proud of you !!!!!!!
Thanks..I can relate to your experiences...thanks dear
Hi Ashley, I live in Canada but moved from the continent. I feel a deep joy when I see you AAs relocating to the Motherland and I wish there is a magic wand I can wave to grant you all your heart desires and a most comfortable life in Africa. Unfortunately, I don't have any.
Here are a few things I'll say, yes you need to have a community, and for you that community is the AA community - I hope there's one in Joburg that you can plug into.
To take care of your sense of doing it all alone, you need a family. And that family comes through a relationship with a man, a marriage. Yes I said marriage though I know you have to date first.
But that's because, in Africa, dating is mostly at the social and fun level; only marriage can make a man plan with you and make your daily needs his business. Even his immediate and extended family welcome and support you as their own only after marriage.
African men do not have any problem with their women chasing ambitions, they can even support you, so long as that feminine energy is still there, the woman is submissive and can still fulfill her role in the union. As you know, gender roles is very real.
Being submissive just means you can compromise; it's not a master-servant dynamic.
Also, the African man wants to have that sense that you need him. For us, a woman on the roadside jacking her car up to change the tire does not need help, but if she is standing by the side of the car looking helpless, then she needs help. Translate this into a relationship.
So these are things you may need to adjust for to give off the vibe that you want more in a relationship.
And now to the type of men. You're a very beautiful woman and can attract good grades (class and age) of men to date. However, for marriage, the average African man looks forward to procreation. I don't know where you're on this spectrum, by biology and/or interest.
Children hold an African man down for the long time; even deepens the love of the family towards the woman.
If procreation is out of the way, you'd have a better shot with a polygamous relationship. It is very much allowed within the culture.
So many guys/men will come to you; be sure to know about them - where they are in life, what they are looking for and how far they are willing to go with you.
Note that every man approaching you only has s*ggs in mind and that's what they are looking for. Thoughts of marriage come afterwards.
If you think they are within range of what you want, looks, class, whatever your criteria, a few dates can help you determine their personality, their longer term relationship aspirations and how far they can go with the relationship before you get entangled.
I know people can be deceptive, I wish you good luck and that the Motherland grants you your heart desires. Home is a place of rest.
Thank you 😊
@@AshleyinAfrika You're welcome sister
I live in an upscale area in NE Florida and I'm a senior and ashamed to say I've been scammed a few times.
My son and his family were at the beach this weekend and his credit cards were stolen. Things are getting bad everywhere.
Yourself reflection is so therapeutic Ashely and I really pray u find ur way so that u can settle down we love u being here
Enkosi Phila
@@AshleyinAfrika please try to find your purpose!
Hey Ashley welcome to Mzasi Afrika. Hope to meet you some day. Thank you for choosing SA and as a native SA we are here for you!
I just saw this video and I want to say keep growing in your authentic self. One thing I realized in life is this, all paths come with challenges. Some paths are more challenging than others. I am no longer perturbed by challenges or circumstances, rather I welcome them because I know without them, the story won't be glorious. Toast to your successes! Keep giving thanks!
Thank you
Oh BTW: "Great Content..Excellent Sharing" And Again, "I Absolutely Appreciate And Respect Your Openess And Honesty" Many Blessings.
Life is what you make it that comes with good and bad points .
Studied in the UK and tracelled with ny then 7 year old daughter but then again it was the same here in SA - moving from EC and leaving family to work in CT then Joburg. Its a process and continous adjustment but joining and serving in the house of the Lord helped a lot. I'm glad you have some support and I hope it get's better as you extend your local family, Ashley 🤗
Ye, people grow spiritual muscles in Africa. Thanks for sharing.
Hello from South Africa, welcome my dear I hope we are treating you well. And I am a new subbie
May the grace of the good Lord be with you in all your stays in Africa.
You're so lucky cause there are so many Americans in Jhb. Sometimes you'll just need to be in the company of people you're used to and are going through the same thing. As you begin to get comfortable, it won't even matter anymore.
It's all going to come together in time my sista,( you and the rest of the brotha's and sista's over there - are taking the hits/ blows ) so we won't have to - if ever we get the nerve to make that move .
Hey Ashley, Love your no nonsense attitude & videos. I’ve been living in Australia for the last 20+ years and looking to returning to SA again .. I’m interested in checking out the opportunities SA has to offer. It would be great to connect with you on professional level . Being an expat I can totally relate to everything you’re saying!
Opportunities? Well if you looking to not have electricity half the day because of loadshedding, ringfenced inside your property behind electric fencing and armed response guards because the streets resemble a crime ridden urban warzone then SA is just the place for you.
Real talk beloved...I relate to your message and sentiments. I've been in Ghana for a year...
glad your caption was direct and to the point or i may have never saw it fly past my screen and stop the browser in time.
I enjoyed the content..and would look forward to seeing more..your message are very beneficial..
First time watching your video. I’ve been thinking about leaving the US, been considering Africa. I really took in what you said and appreciate you for sharing some valuable information, great food for thought 🤗
Thank you so much for this content. 💖
I’m so happy you found it valuable.
Much love!
Thank you for being honest. I needed to hear this which makes my decision to move to Africa even more realistic.
I’m glad it was helpful Woven Pink
Being ALONER has allowed me to start building the KINGDOM I have always wanted *WITHIN!* #notallcancome
Love this, amen ❤
I love your views on being an U.S. expat ing Africa. I'm now a new subscriber.
Thank you for sharing.
First time visiting your channel. Just wanted to share a short story. "There's a woman I met on Facebook whom is begging me to come to Africa!" She is so so beautiful! Her character is what I'm referring to the most. Very humble, peaceful, respectful, and loving. I would love to spend the rest of my life there with her. Extremely tough decision for me to make because of my ties to my son and grandson. Wish there was a way to have them join me with leaving America to live there." Thanks for allowing me to share. ASE!
Miss Ashley in Afrika do keep your hope alive and continue to hold your head up high Because your girls need you to, also I’ve always thought of you as one precious soul and so Love your innocence of spirit and look forward to your videos when I am not studying of Which I do a lot of , and in the near future I will connect with you once things pan out for me Soon, so may you and your girls be abundantly Blessed, Shalom!!
Thank you Earl 🙏🏾
New subbie!❤️❤️💖 Good luck to you and family Ashley!! 🥰😊
Thank you for kind words and welcome to the community 😊
A yearning for home is inevitable...I think..for me I found it best..to totally turn my back to my roots..hard as it is..I will have to re engage..when I'm ready to go back home...thanks dear...
I am a new follower and I enjoy your channel. Be encouraged ❤️🙏🏾
Welcome, and thank you for your kind words.
Thanks for sharing!! I want to teach abroad and I need to hear every perspective.
My friend is building in Ghana and she loves it.Coming to the US by the way of Belize,she is use to the load shedding,the culture is somewhat the same as in Belize.She always says your money will determine your experience
So proud of you
You are truly a brave woman to relocate with a young child. In 2011, I relocated to Albuquerque from the East coast, bought a home, stayed 4 years and returned to the East coast. I want to leave the USA, but I am 77 and that has to be considered. Bless you Sis and be circumspect. Shalom Shalom.
When it comes to MOVING outside of the U.S., the issue of age cannot be ignored. Medical insurance is more important as we age and or if you have a chronic illness. Medicare will not pay for services outside of the USA. HMO medical insurance will not pay outside of your medical group ie ; outside of your city and named physicians. So even traveling to another state, it gets tricky as to what they will pay for. But outside of the USA, unless you buy a traveler's policy which is for a limited time, you are on your own. So this one issue of not only MEDICAL INSURANCE, but QUALITY state of the art medical facilities and the best trained physicians. Yes there are quality physicians outside of the U.S., but a doctor's hands are "crippled" without the necessary equipment needed to give THOROUGH & EXPERT treatment. One diasporean said she moved to Ghana and learned that most areas do not have ambulances ! She said she was shocked to learn that mostly people travel to the emergency room in a car or on the back of a motorcycle.
If you notice a pattern with expats INTO Africa, 90% are UNDER age 50. Also, many of them have extended family there already. I have seen several people say, their parents are African born, but they (young adults) were BORN in the U.S., for the purpose of obtaining American citizenship. Then as a child, they were raised in Africa, came back to the U.S., for college. So all along they maintained a home and roots in Africa. But they will have Social Security benefits if they work here long enough, then they can return to Africa and keep an income in old age with Soc Sec benefits. But for us diasporean African Americans, we don't have established family there. So seriously think about your medical coverage before you uproot everything and move there.
Love Tanzania 🇹🇿 no vaccine needed
New infor as an expat as well I totally understand what your going through? I loved SA as well and was thinking of relocating there as well but, after some thinking I chose South America …
Thanks for this
You bring up a lot of good points and any great treasure involves overcoming many challenges. Keep in mind that you can keep traveling back and forth. We were nomadic in the beginning so always feel at free wherever in the world you choose to go. On the polygamy statement: The more a man dips his pen into other vessels, the messier things become. Women's spiritual intuition always lets them know and the offspring that is produced from affairs are often more confused than the clear-minded offspring created through committed love. For Africans originally, marriage wasn't about romance but love for families. Marriage is a merging of dynasties. Many African women stay married to maintain their ancient family dynasties but in modern times, divorce is happening more unfortunately. The more people showcase things like "white" weddings and show pda, the cheaper "love" becomes. That's romance, not love. There is a trend of black women marrying interracially these days. They need to be very careful. In their non-African partner's blood may be wickedness that their ancestors did to our's. The offspring will carry that bad blood. Also another trend: more people put their families taking photos/videos for strangers (who may jealous them) to consume, the weaker those relationships become. One of the reasons why I took down photos and videos of my spiritually very vulnerable/powerful family members (very young children/very old elders), is because I don't want their image/likeness floating on digital spaces for who knows how long to be reviewed by strangers who may not have good minds. This is the same reason I've never publicly expressed my love life. True love is private commitment.
My cousins are moving to Joburg by this December. I cannot wait to start my journey with my fellow expat’s 🫶🏽
I've been an expat (with my wife and daughter) in both Thailand (3 years) and Australia (2years). We love it. No major complaints besides driving in Thailand.
Driving is tough for me too. Thanks for sharing!
when you are having a low reach out to God you dont have to worry about negative comments Hes in the business of mercy!
I love your experience