My male neighbor said something to me the other day that made a lot of sense. He said “I pray for a zombie apocalypse so that I could have a mission and do something useful with my life.” I think that sums it up. They feel mission-less.
@que lo que he actually is a handyman and is very busy. He’s also an artist on the side. He just doesn’t feel fulfilled. No family. Suffers from debilitating depression and anxiety… but knows he has to keep getting up everyday so he can eat and keep a roof over his head. He just doesn’t know what the point is. He’s been at the edge of suicide several times. He just doesn’t feel he has anything to live for. He’s a Scorpio sun and a Scorpio rising with 7 other major planetary placements in Scorpio. That’s some really tough energy to move through life with. He’s lucky he’s still around at 47.
that's weak. the problems are real for many men, but there are also way too many spoiled, upper-middle class kids who complain about not having meaning in their lives. weak
That’s because men have been taught that they only have a narrow range of possible ways of being. If we stop stuffing them into the protector/provider box, everyone will be a lot happier
@@RobertMJohnson there is nothing weak about wanting ones life to be meaningful and to have a selfless reason for existing. What is weak is your inability to empathize with people who require more then junk food, tv, beer, pot, big trucks and porn.
Not sure about other countries but in Norway, people are able to choose a trade to learn starting in 10th grade such as electrician, carpentry, fishing, health workers etc. which also has a mix of work and schooling. The college bound students are then going to regular high schools which in general have less students struggling. In US the options are much more limited.
The guys that were learning a trade in my high school were looked down on. So much so that when they moved the computer repair, networking and programming courses to the vocational school parents wanted to file a lawsuit. lmao
The problem with Americans is that we have been told for decades that if you go to trade school... You aren't good enough. Most universities are for profit, no matter what they say... That's your real problem.
What you said was the way it used to be here and and countries emulated it... But politicians got in it in us to enrich colleges...look where politicians go after they do damage...they become the presidents
The idea that we are still putting such a stigma on trade jobs is baffling. I have a friend from high school who went through an MD/PhD program at Johns Hopkins to become a leading cancer researcher. At 42, He is just now finishing paying off all of his student debt. Meanwhile, I also have a friend from high school who became an electrician. He is now one of the wealthier people that I know. Both have wives who stuck with them through the hard times. Both are quite successful in their respective fields. Both are examples of men who are doing very well in this country. One is an academic and a leading researcher in a competitive and difficult medical field. The other is a tradesmen. One has been accumulating wealth for two decades. The other is just now beginning to. Time to end the stigma.
Wow my dream is to go Johns Hopkins 🤩 I want to get an MD myself. There is loan forgiveness options and ways to pay it off sooner. Chase your dreams, if it’s to be an electrician that’s awesome too 👏
We're not talking about just money. A well-educated man is a more interesting person to have long conversations with because he is more exposed to deeper knowledge and is open to a wide array of ideas and possibilities.
I'm a court reporter which is a trade. Paid about $600 per year for two years. Walked out making $50K day one and now make far more. Court reporters, electricians, plumbers all across the country are struggling because we're running out of folks! A friend in his 90s came in to help us do depositions one day because things are THAT BAD.
@@hotchicsf While I agree that it's more interesting to speak with people who are knowledgeable, I believe the more important point is that a person is curious and fascinated and therefore wants to learn more. I've met men with a Masters in Mathematics who just really knew nothing more than that. I've met many folks with no colllege who nevertheless study philosophy, international politics, knew four or more languages, had a passion for art, science, food, music and believe me, I can go on from there. Curiosity followed by a longing to learn is more important than a college education in forming a well-rounded, well-informed person.
Women and men simply desire different traits in their partners. That’s why trying to make everyone completely equal was not a good idea. Now the women go for the chads. When that doesn’t work out, they want the other men. But why would you want someone that clearly sees you as a save fourth option.
Calling for help about what? I went to school I got a degree that I have a job and use my degree you get nothing for free in life. What you’re putting into it you’re getting out of it and that’s the way it’s always been in every culture on the planet this whole nonsense is now we can blame society because of poor decisions people make I don’t care if you’re a man or woman you make crappy decisionsyou have usually have a crappy life
As a 53yo man, I can understand the struggle young men have from their mid-teens up until middle age. How I feel today is vastly different from the hormone driven, chaotic, person I was when breaking into adulthood and trying to find my way in life. I also suffered from ADHD (much milder now) and had trouble focusing on one thing, putting far too much energy into as much as I could handle. The result was often failure, quickly followed by depression, then anger at the world for not working how I wanted it to. I also hung around other young, aggressive, men that did the same. Smoking mary was a way to calm my frustrations, which led to other issues with motivation and lack of focus, combined with group aggression towards The State that had failed [us]... It was a vicious circle. I am lucky to have dug myself out of that rut and rebuilt my life by relocating and taking time to assess my priorities. Something that is not always possible for people to do. I also walked away from the m-j (a significant shackle). Seeing how many young men are so depressed, angry and frustrated, is worrying. The media is riling them up and the "powers that be" are poking them. It's a recipe for disaster, being that the greatest risks to public safety are violent men around the late teen to late 20's mark. We saw it in Syria, we see it with the shootings int he US and we watch it on places like TH-cam etc. Maybe it's time to consider a different approach to the expectations of young men before it's too late?
@V Vimm This topic covers men. Women are just as important, but maybe you can allow a conversation that needs to be had concerning men, rather than dismiss it because you want women to be the topic instead? Is it too much to ask? Or are only women allowed to have problems in this word?
I got a college degree in veterinary medicine a few years back. Went looking for a job after I graduated, I applied to EVERY vet's office within a 50 mile radius never got an interview. After a year or so of rejection I began to notice something about these offices. The lack of men. They were all mostly run and operated by women. Nothing wrong with that but I felt as if I was being discriminated against because I'm a male trying to get a job in a female dominated job market. So I gave up on my dream of becoming a veterinarian.
I went to a nursing program once and I was the only guy in the class. When they played a video of an geriatric woman getting cleaned some of the women in the class laughed and said " I bet youve never had some of that..". Women can be just as discriminatory if not even more so than men.
My vet, my dentist and my eye doctor are all women and they only employ women. I asked why there were no men in their practice and they all said men have never applied to work there. I don't believe it for minute. Another issue with men struggling is that if they dare get married, it's only a matter of time before they are destroyed in divorce court.
Feminists hate men and have alot of influence. They hate the traditional family and have an agenda. women hire women. Its time for gender-based class action.
Try a home visit business, at first part time to see if it works out. Dog groomers make good money So sorry to read this. Try to get a specialty niche. Also a lot of emphasis on farm animal disrases, see if you can get an intership.
I think people don’t like to think about how men that don’t come from an affluent background and didn’t excel in school are pretty much considered disposable in our society. It’s a very ingrained class system in the US. The system is even set up to shame people that didn’t have a good start for not being more successful. It’s more shameful to be an honest poor person than a rich criminal in this country.
A high rate of legal and illegal immigration is also a factor. Costs over $100b a year if you strictly look at it from an economic perspective, can lower the wages and change the demand for workers which puts the native born at an unnecessary disadvantage.
@@anacc3257 So you are saying that the majority of businesses are prepared to use illegal workers and pay them "under the table"? To the tune of $100bn? Really? Have you *THOUGHT* about what you are claiming?
Jobs don't pay enough, everything costs more and there are more things you have to have to participate in society. You have to have a cell phone and be on call all the time to work a job that doesn't even pay the bills. Not just minimum wage jobs but any job that doesn't pay at least $75k a year isn't worth working if you have a degree.
So why get a useless degree and go into debt when you can start your own little business or learn a skill that will pay you enough to be your own boss?
@@bischnou Thats sad, you should be paid double that or more. Teachers are the most important workers in society they shape the future. Talent cost money and should be rewarded. Instead Wall Street banks fail, get bailed out and then makes millions the next year. Capitalism works but only when managed with societys best interests in mind. That is why a small but well run County like German is so powerful, strong unions and social institutions.
As an elder elder, I remember when boys graduating from high school could hire into a manufacturing job with a living wage, total medical benefits, sick days, vacations rising with service. This allowed them to marry, buy a home, raise a family. And all this because of organized unions. This began to erode with Ronald Reagan with his trickle down economics, southern strategy and busting the unions. And Democrats actually voted for him! So, what has happened in America is because Americans voted against their own interests. As a mother of two sons I sympathize with men in this unfair environment.
You said it. I'm sure there are other reasons as well but the attack on working people and unions that jumped into high gear with the criminal Reagan administration has had a huge impact on this situation. And you are right again in that Americans voted against their own economic interests because Reagan and the entire republican political strategy wrapped themselves in the flag or anti abortion or anti gay rhetoric and much of the working class fell for the con. And still do to this day.
As a student in the 60' and 70's it used to be boys encouraged and girls discouraged. When I returned to the classroom to teach it was the opposite. I think everyone should be encouraged and fairly paid so one person can stay home and raise kids. These trends explain so much about what is wrong in America. I was the original house-husband and got much teasing because of it. Luckily my wife made good money so I got the kids off to school, did some laundry, and perhaps poured 5 yards of concrete.
I think Conrad that we need to have a better balance than that. If you’re going to have kids, it’s nice to be able to spend time with them, family time with everyone. We all work so much. Or one parent does all the working and they miss out on so much. The kids grow up barely knowing the one that works, and that I find a bit sad. My grandparents raised me and my grandpa worked until the last year of his life. There was so much that I wish I had asked him. I wish he could have hung out more. That he hadn’t needed to work so hard. I wish I just would have gotten to know my grandpa more because he was such an amazing man. My grandma was always home and so I got to know her relatively well but it makes me sad that my grandpa spent so much of his life not around his kids or me who his hard work raised. But I’m glad that you were a trailblazer regardless. It’s not a fun thing to get teased because you’re not following the norms. So, good for you Conrad. I hope all the kids grew up well too.
It depends on the family. A lot of women and men have no desire to stay home all day with their children and make that their day job. The goal should be that a family can afford to take care of their children whether they both have jobs or one prefers to stay home and care for the children and/or home. This would mean the government subsidizing daycare like it did during WWII and more family-friendly work policies.
I wonder if it’s due to over compensation. For forever girls lacked encouragement at home and at school, that was the norm. Now perhaps both are trying to make up for the other. Teachers are assuming the girls don’t get enough attention at home, and vis versa for the parents.
Huh. Who would have thought there would be any adverse consequences from making tertiary education unaffordable for the majority of Americans, or permitting employers to treat employees like disposable slaves? Weird.
This fellow expresses the issues really well but the employment problems aren't only the fault of politicians. Many (not all) business leaders have arguably played the largest role in pushing various deregulations that weakened job satisfaction & pay.
The death of the blue collar American middle class is a direct result of 20yrs of cheap illegal labor flooding the country at the behest of both political parties
Affirmative action, tokenism and businesses letting diversity initiatives take precedence over merits and what's economically beneficial may also play a part, shaping the economy and market demand in a way that only benefits girls or minorities in the short term.
I'm nearly 3yrs older than my wife. She's college educated, I am not. She is clearly more intelligent and mature than I am. I'm not dumb, I'm good at my service based job, I do the majority of the housework. We spend equal amounts of time with our child, planning for a 2nd. The education system did indeed not work for me, but I've adapted and thrived as best I can. Hopefully, things will get even better for more boys and men.
You shouldn't have had to adapt. Our piss poor education system should have helped you. I'm not disparaging you, or saying you're less because of your position in life, but it's not right you were abandoned by an uncaring system.
I think that we have (collectively, societally) created a situation that's incredibly hard for boys and young men to understand where and how they are still valued in society, instead surrounding them with a sense that their innate masculine energy is toxic, unwelcome, oppressive by its very existence, fundamentally flawed.
I don't think boys are necessarily told their innate masculine energy is toxic, but I do think society still tries to instill "traditional male" roles from 50 years ago on boys and men, without adjusting for the society today. The "traditional male" looks very different for my nephew at 9 than he did when I was 9. There doesn't have to be a very narrow view of what it means to be a man, which is liberating and terrifying at the same time. Plus, many of the actions that were excused as boys being boys, are no longer. So there are fewer rewards and greater punishments for some of those "traditional male" behaviors, which is definitely contributing to the male crisis.
When a society spends 23 hours a day telling men that they are toxic and that women’s feelings and advancement are more important than anything else, yes, it’s going to cause damage to the male psyche.
@@tiffanywatson5474 Does western Feminism and it's infiltration in most aspects of western society have any to do with this? Women are becoming way more choosy and sexually liberated so unless a man is an alpha male, which most are not, then there future is looking increasingly bleaker
Its many things: 1) the average worker is overworked and underpaid unless they are freelancers or in the STEM field 2) financial instability hits hard for men who have a need to always have their shyt together 3) social media destroys people's self worth because it always shows people lives through an ultrafiltered funhouse mirror which makes viewers feel like there's something wrong with them. Solution 1) Encourage learning new skills. 2) Quit Social media 3) encourage self care and don't be ashamed for trying 4) Try what Sweden did: 32 hour work week which can do wonders for mental health and productivity.
I did something similar, DeftRose. I was lucky to be good at STEM (the M) and that meant I could work for myself and earn more per hour while working fewer hours (compared to when I was in a corporate). I was on social media for about six months back in 2009... and never want to go back. Self care for me is hobbies, gym and watching funny cat videos on YT. 🙂
I was raised in the 60's and at that time, at least in my family, the expectation was that I'd get married and have children. Nothing was talked about or encouraged in regards to a career path. Well, the rules changed. I was expected to support myself, not remain at home until I married. I had to scramble to find a career. My path was the military. I recognized in the early 80's that women were thrown into a duel role that they quickly had to adapt to. Not only were they expected to work outside the home to contribute to family finances, they were also expected to continue following the traditional women's role in the home. Being the primary caretaker of children, the cook, housekeeper and everything that a traditional housewife would do. Men were not adapting or expected to change a thing. This is a generalization, I know, but overall that was the case. We/females were hearing slogans about how "You can do it all". Basically, you can work two full time jobs and husbands were still going to work, coming home and asking what's for dinner, mowing the lawn on weekends, taking the garbage out and keeping the cars clean. Not a fair division of labor. I was of course also expected to be the one who took time off of work when the children were born or when they were sick and couldn't go to school or daycare. Paid less then my male co-workers doing the same exact job and at the same time expected to take on additonal responsibilities that they weren't. Women adjusted, men didn't and now are being forced to. Also boys and men are much more addicted, for those that do play, to video games. It really is an addiction and it really does suck the life and motivation out of them.
All correct, and it often comes down to how your family raised you. Most men I know who are doing okay (40s-50s) whether single/married, were raised to be partners, splitting the workload at home & on the job, raising any kids together whether they stayed a couple or not. The women who are single-and-looking in that group tend to say they just want a guy who will carry their share of the load, logistically, financially, and emotionally. My observation of younger adults (20s/30s) is that perversely, they carry more conservative ideas about what relationships ought to look like, with lots of preoccupation around who makes more and who will take care of the kids (if any). They talk of marriage as though it'll immediately require both parties to take on some rigid gender role. I see it more in straight/cishet folks, but have heard that stuff from some TG & NB people as well, which was wild to me. Reagan & Bush (W.) brainwashing folks decades later, I guess.
@Klemheist Truth hurts! I'm Gen X. My mother did exactly what Coleen described. I decided that I would never marry, never have kids & only concentrate on getting good in STEM, so I wouldn't have to work 5 jobs at once for an arsehole who would cheat on me when he would reach his 40's. Tough luck, lazy bastards! She doesn't hate men, but I did and still do!
Dual (not duel) You are right. Women got the short end of the stick. At the same time expected to hold a full time job and still be responsible for the upkeep of the home, raising the children, cooking, laundry, etc. Men had it easy with one job and mowing the lawn on the weekends. In some countries, women resisted feminism for that very reason. They could see that American women just doubled their responsibility and it wasn't fair.
IMO its several factors: 1: Lack of father figures growing up due to upticks in divorce 2: Social media and being held to fantasy standards that are filtered (true for women too) 3: Smartphones and tech robbing boys of meaningful interpersonal friendships with real people in there lives. This boyhood friends can often become lifetime best friends. 4: The Education system and society valuing tradework as a less meaningful way to have a career, where many men are wired naturally to enjoy doing things with their hands. Example, many highschools no longer do shop class. 5: In most societies men have always been viewed as disposable. This has only gotten worse in the last couple decades. Social progress and equality is an achievement and important, but we cannot forget the men and boys of today just because their ancestors had an advantage in society.
This is all a load of bs. Smartphones don't rob anyone of interpersonal connections, they literally extend the range and availability of people you can create those connections with, and why would they be robbing boys specifically, and that's just on one of your points, I could go on all day about what's wrong with that last one
I started teaching HS in the mid-90's. The school had programs in Horticulture, Auto Repair, and one more profesion I've forgotten. Unfortunately, the 'everybody has to go to college to get a good job' fad hit and the programs were gone in a few years. We teachers would ask whom they thought would be fixing our cars, replacing our poilers, etc. ..... The responses alternated between deflection and crickets. When we pointed out that not all HS graduates were both interested in and able to go to college, we were accused of being the "-ist" of the day. HS teachers all over the US warned that the then available data pointed toward a shortage of repair people, plumbers, electricians, etc. starting around 2010. Time after time these state level educational administrators just laughed at us and told us we didn't understand..... And here we are.
I can explain the lack of college enrollment in my area. We were told that if we didn't get a college education that we'd never amount to anything. Twenty years later and guys with a GED own their own businesses or are upper management in construction or fabrication while college grads are jockeying for a position in the culinary arts or are stuck in a dead end job with a big corporation, with no room to advance. We were lied to, so that the universities could make a quick buck when most businesses realized what you're willing to do is more valuable than what you're qualified to do.
I think a full university education has some advantages, but they aren't necessarily economic. For a great many people a vocational school is probably a better fit.
Take it from me. I was the first in my immediate family to earn a BA degree. But what i did not understand is that one often need further specialization after a BA. Many more jobs related to my field required a Master's degree for advancement. I remember going to a meeting of alumni where there about 9 people from my graduating class. And like 6 of them were attorneys, or in law school. But another option is to find a completely different field, and then go back to school and specialize in the new field, and be a double degree person.
In most other countries, the minimum wage gets raised on a regular basis. Here in Australia, it's raised each year. Look at that as a reason why US ppl earn less.
i understand your point, but most jobs that are worth working pay above minimum wage, so increasing it probably won't make a big difference unless it's to like $25+ an hour, which is not going to happen any time soon
@@grantcanty7294 I can't understand how it can be acceptable that prices for utilities, food, clothes etc go up each year but the minimum wage doesn't. Also what does "worth working" mean? Fast food restaurants remained opened during our lockdown, as well as supermarkets. These are some of the lowest paid jobs but are essential. More essential than highly paid athletes, actors, etc. We under value the work that society requires in order to be efficient.
@@traceyholt8223 i’m not arguing that minimum wage shouldn’t go up. i'm stating that most jobs in the us are already paying above minimum wage, so raising minimum wage, unless it’s to a really high number like $25 for example, is probably not going to have a large effect. a lot of fast food jobs pay around $15 an hour, target (retail store) pays anywhere from $15-$24 an hour minimum, costco (grocery store) pays $17 an hour minimum. there are probably more examples, but i think it’s easy to see that min wage is well below what a lot of jobs are actually paying. by a job “worth working” i mean one that actually has a decent career path and where you’re not being exploited. no where did i say anything about essential jobs like fast food, retail, grocery stores, etc. i understand why it’s easy to interpret “a job worth working” as me talking down on those types of jobs, especially since they get a bad reputation, but that’s not what i meant. i worked a job in the kitchen of a restaurant for a year, and have a lot of respect for the people in these types of work. i hope that makes more sense what i was trying to say
I think the USA has this strange fascination with the “new American Dream” so have been conditioned to think it’s completely their own fault … they don’t need education (especially men) if they only worked harder, or smarter, better or longer etc they would be a billionaire like (insert name) but this is not realistic or common thing its a 1% game !! Or maybe a lotto win !! Don’t get me wrong the 1% are smart work hard etc but 50% also do and they still never “make it” (whatever make it actually means lol)
Housing is also a problem too. We don't have enough of it in my area. So, we have high rent prices. And a lot of vacancies for minimum wage jobs. Because they can't pay the rent prices with it. So, they just get the same job somewhere else.
I wonder if the lack of jobs for men has anything to do with the fact that over half of the factories, mills, or any other companies that produce goods have gone over seas leaving a void in American economy. Also, Most of our family farms have been pushed out by commercial farming. And small businesses pushed out by corporations.
@@jennifermcgoldrick6323 Rather than keep this attitude you should worry more about what happens when large numbers of men feel angry, left out, and have nothing better to do. This is what feeds militias, anti-government groups, and domestic terrorism. Try reading a book sometime.
I was just waiting for him to blame women for men having difficulties. I was glad to see that he didn't, however, the people in the comments missed that part. It is always put on us, everything wrong with the world. I am not going to stop pushing simply because men think my success is somehow detrimental to them.
I too was leery of the association that "men declining = women succeeding". He explicitly said it's not a zero-sum, but it's really disappointing that so many read this issue that way. Conservative patriarchy, the fall of unions, and the underfunding & overpolicing of K-12 school have a lot more impact on the fates of men than anything going on with women.
Attitude is almost more important than aptitude. I'm a woman who had a high school education that ultimately succeded in technology in corporate America. My attitude was, I can do it! Most men in my family had an attitude of, I dont have to work hard since my wife works, not sure if that was due to family dynamics or is endemic of the male population. I'm sure this study will send the right wing over the edge with fury at women!
You think everything is put on women??? What fantasy world are you living in? Everywhere I look, it's feminism, women's empowerment, woke culture, and overt misandry.
We already tried delaying the start of school for boys in the 90s, it's called red-shirting. It's something that's still practiced today, though not as widely. It didn't stop their behavioral problems or give schools more resources to deal with them. I'm surprised that anyone concerned with boys performance doesn't immediately get on teachers salaries and better public funding for schools so that teachers aren't spreading themselves too thin to be attentive to individualized learning.
we just keep throwing money at public schools that are failing and it doesn't help. they get more funding than private schools and accomplish less. it's not just schools . it's crappy parents who don't care or are too busy working , to care , it's lack of discipline in public schools as well.
We spend millions on teacher training and resources that gets wasted as it all changes the next year. More money for salaries and REAL student nutrition and more physical activities would create a more sane educational system for teachers and students. We work harder and harder and harder, but rarely smarter or healthier.
That isn't going to help much either. Most Americans need to work 1.5, 2 or more jobs to make ends meet, this dissolves the ability of parents to invest energy into assisting and guiding their children with their education. This effort is probably more pronounced in boys and adolescent men due to a hormone profile more prone to hyperactivity in youth.
Increasing teachers' salaries does absolutely nothing when teachers have no ability to discipline students who repeatedly disrupt class lessons. We could return authority to discipline to the teachers and the problems will reduce...but this will never happen.
The earning issues isn't a male specific one, that's across the board, people are being squeezed by employers to pad the cooperate profit margins. The higher mortality rate was also normal in past generation as well, there's a lot that needs to be done to help men redefine their role in society into one that's not some kind of hierarchally defined dominance of all others but as peers with women and non binary. When it comes to development in childhood, a blanket policy of starting boys later is I suspect, too uniform. We need to spend a lot more energy on working with kids and teaching the students we have rather than forcing the kids to fit like widgets into a static assembly line system. So maybe that means boys start academics a bit latter when their brains are up for it, but really it should be more like each student is allowed to follow their interests/noses over the year. They might have a basket of things that need to be covered but there's more than one way to learn a thing, and when they do should be decided by when they are engaged, not when a wrote system forces them to. This means more teachers, who are paid more including for the prep work and one on one time needed. We spend billions on weapons but cheep out on education, that's just dumb.
Both my brothers started their career much later than I did, because they wanted to waffle about in their early 20s. But now they’ve surpassed me economically and have good stable careers. I think you’re on to something with the later development aspect. Young men might seem flaky in their teens but give them time and encouragement, they will rise and improve!
One part of the problem is having children nearly an entire year apart studying the same curriculum. Breaking cohorts into semesters or trimesters would be a good start.
About your point about blanket statements. Seriously! He's just perpetrating ridiculous gender stereotypes. My nephew a year younger than I read way before me when he was in preschool. I'm cis female fyi. My husband who has a doctorate degree and is 32 years old, taught himself to read at the age of 3 and was so far ahead of his peers he had to skip ahead 2 classes. My brother had zero issues and read before school. My 3 nephews all started reading at the age of 3. The issue isn't sex, it's that our current society is set up so parents cannot spend the time with kids that they need to develop. I see it in both boys and girls who's parents don't take the time to read out loud to them from the time they can sit upright in thier arms. These boys aren't suffering from female equality. If they're suffering at all, and i suspect they're not because i think he's cooking the statistics to make it show what he wants it to, they're suffering because they live in a predatory capitalistic system meant to destroy both them and females as they suck every last penny out of them.
This male struggle seemed to emerge in Asia before it did in the states. Unless memory serves me poorly, I remember reading of the great concern in Japan and Korea over an emerging generation of males lacking ambition, content to spend countless hours playing computer games and watching pornography, while cocooned in their boyhood rooms (in the home they grew up in), and showing little interest in dating, much less getting married. And this portrait emerged more than a decade and a half ago.
The work culture is extreme in those countries. Plenty of youth watch their father's work themselves into an early grave supporting the family. Most are probably deciding they'd rather do anything but what their fathers did. The answer may be in what's become the norm for men of recent generations that's making the men today say "no thanks"
In societies such as Germany a Craftsman is a respectable person, while in the US only rich people are respected. This undermines the spirit of young men. Jobs have moved to the far East and the only thing they feel good about is their truck.
so the nation with the most powerful central bank, military, Navy, Air Force, intelligence community, largest economy, most profitable corporations, best hospitals and universites "undermines the spirit of young men" ? that's your thesis?
Emotional intelligence is not a touchy-feely thing about other people's feelings. It's the difference between being manly and a man-child. The man is always working on understanding his own emotions and reactions, and developing more productive responses to whatever challenges life (or his own mental health) throw at him. The man-child does not work on his emotional intelligence and blames others for his problems, then repeats unproductive patterns. It is much harder to have the self-discipline and motivation necessary to earn a good living if you have low emotional intelligence. Working on your emotional intelligence and mental health is crucial to becoming the man you really want to be.
I guess you have to buy the book. I listen to this whole segment and I still don’t understand what the problem is with men and boys. And except for a red coat I never heard any solution. I’m now 70 years old and I come from Ireland and when I was 15 I was on my own, wasn’t because I had a bad family had a very good family. In those days ( late 60s) in the UK 15-year-old would start their apprenticeship I went to sea in the Merchant navy. It is my opinion that it is lead by women, women who say we are equal and we will define ourselves and we do not need men to provide or protect us. So a lot of boys escaped to front of their computers and create their own world and little change as the got older. In general for last 40 year the roles of men and women are changing, for a lot of men this is a real punch to their ego. The scary thing is there are few creatures more dangerous than an uneducated white, Christian, conspiracy theorist’s with a gun.
I think the point is to bring the problem to light and start a conversation, I think the solution is complex and not something that would fit in a youtube video.
Even Mr. Reeves danced around the fact that, over the past 30 years or so, in school, emphasis was placed on the girls to the detriment of the boys. Boys traditionally did better in science, math, and technology. Schools focused on raising girls' skills in those areas, but I don't recall emphasizing language arts skills for the boys. There were other issues as well.
Research has debunked the idea that boys and men are naturally better at STEM, they are socially conditioned to pursue those types of careers as a gender stereotype and for earnings potential. Girls and women are also socially conditioned to pursue careers in teaching, nursing, and other service roles because of gender stereotyping and since ‘women’s jobs’ have been chronically paid less, here we are. Men make great nurses and women make great engineers. We need to stop putting a gender box on any career and encourage all young people to pride what they really love. Also STEM is way overvalued and overpaid in our society, because tech has become our God. Writing, social studies and other ‘soft’ professions provide a much needed and well rounded balance and should be paid accordingly
@@down-to-earth-mystery-school It's not that they are better, it's that they are more interested in those subjects than the language arts subjects. If their interests are not encouraged in favor of encouraging the girls, they could fall behind. In the 1990's and 2000's, when my son was in school, the teachers pointedly encouraged the girls. It's not surprising that so many boys feel lost.
Women not having to depend on men for financial stability will make them less likely to care about their partner's education if anything. When they weren't allowed to have a career it would have made a lot more sense for women to be picky about their love interests financial prospects, but if a highly educated woman can provide for herself financially she can marry someone she actually loves and wants to spend time with. Sorry if this means you have to be kind and have a personality instead of just making money and it somehow entitling you to treat the woman of your choice as property.
This. The only time I cared about my late husband's income was when I was unemployed, and his job was ripping him off (promotion in workload, with no increase in pay). I think some guys project their own insecurities on women - any woman who really is only looking for a payday wouldn't even be talking to a "regular" dude with no money/ambition. Those girls are shopping at a different "store" entirely 😅
@@superRobertoist Women don't even say "date down" - that's a concept/term guys came up with. Every woman is different, but usually finances only come up when you're moving in together, or talking about getting married, having kids, etc. Money doesn't generally come up in the initial dating "calculus" for us at all - you can do a lot of romantic strolls in the park, Netflix+chill dates, family BBQ, etc and most women will be grinning ear to ear.
@@randyevermore9323 Males are expected to give and provide while females are expected to receive. Even in relationships with unequal income, which gender is expected to provide?
Historically there is a strong correlation with social investment in the working class, which has been eviscerated by the 'smaller government' movement which has (ironically) been driven by mostly us men.
There's a few things not mentioned that need to be. One major issue is the lack of focus on skilled jobs, such as mechanic, carpenter, and other trades. The focus has been on college as the only respectable route, and we presently have a large number of retirees who will be leaving skilled trade jobs but no one to replace them. To be honest, a national promotion for job training and placement would be the best method. and Second, I wholeheartedly disagree with a blanket "red shirting" policy. While boys may mature slower in terms of behavior, they are fully capable of learning. If a family decides to wait a year, that's fine but this should not be a policy. In fact, a better strategy that would benefit all students is more activity in the course of their education. P.E. is not nearly enough. Students should be allowed to walk and read or to recite math skills while playing with legos, etc. Movement is a vital part of what's missing. Since there's a lack of movement, boys are more prone than girls to act out, but I believe it's more social training than biology. Girls are often chastised far more harshly for jumping up and down than boys are. Nevertheless, including more movement would give girls the freedom to move more joyfully without reprisal and boys would have that energy release as well. This kind of change would lead to greater focus throughout the day. All the sitting still is decreasing oxygen circulation and mental clarity.
How would you know if it's social training or biology? You just want to believe that. You're attitude is part of the problem. You couldn't make it through a video on problems for boys without turning it back to whats best for girls.
But when will the work start. I've only heard of an electric heated sidewalk that cost 200 million being added in a very poor town in New Hampshire. Infrastructure isn't getting done.
That's one of its major selling points. And nowadays some of those jobs will be given to women who are part of the trades. I believe what we need is an attitude shift, the days of the need for a big strong man to fight off the saber tooth tiger so the little woman could stay home and take care of the babies it's long gone. I think everyone should be entitled to do a job that they enjoy and are capable of doing. But it seems a particularly after world war II when the GI Bill and has become common at the first time you meet someone after asking their name you ask what college they went to and their value will be determined not by their capabilities but by what school they went to. Many years ago I worked in a clinic and I remember one of the doctors who was a pediatric cardiologist complaining about how much his plumber cost.
I think one of the biggest reasons why this is happening doesn't really have anything to do with gender. As Reeves mentioned, it's a structural issue. It's all about household financial decisions particularly for young couples with multiple kids. The cost of childcare is so astronomically expensive that if the grandparents aren't around....then it becomes much cheaper for one parent to stay at home, while the other becomes the breadwinner. Back in the 50's, men made more money as manual labor was at a premium and the women raised the kids. Today's the economy is more knowledge and service based so the roles have reversed somewhat.
Meanwhile we have a shortage of mechanics, plumbers, construction and so on. These jobs were looked down upon when I was graduating high school back in the 90’s. They are good paid skilled jobs. It’s a shame society held their noses up too high to this. Meanwhile individuals who did not listen to this nonsense are likely doing well.
Not really. The world has acted like it didn't want many of us, and still, we persist and show up. We still seek joy and to contribute to our communities. You are wanted and needed - get out of your own head and volunteer! People will be happy to have you and you may even find some joy!
The thing that didn't change with "equality" in the workforce is equality with the chores that come with a home & children & family life. Married women still have all the same responsibilities of the '50's-AND a full time job & men are the ones struggling?
It is true that men cannot see dirt so any dirt that gets cleaned must be cleaned by the woman. Likewise are piles of unwashed dishes invisible to men. But men will run the lawnmower or the snowblower because that involves operating a machine which is palatable just so long as no actual stoop labor is involved which is why women must do all of the flower gardening. Men also find it difficult to take children seriously enough to demand that they behave themselves. I was a failure at teaching school because I would laugh at their antics up to and including outright criminality in the case of my ghetto teenaged high school students in Cleveland. I just found it impossible to take them seriously. I would also laugh at the women teachers who were horrified by their behavior. My supervisor at Job Corps wondered why I never kicked anyone out of my GED class. I told him it was because they had nothing to rebel against because being an ex-sailor I was even crazier than they were. I would literally tell them all the dirty jokes I learned aboard ship so then they would consult with me about their contraceptive failures which I found flattering. These kids were young adults so it wasn’t as perverted as you might assume the age group at Job Corps being 16-24. But I had a pass rate in the mid to high nineties. I quit anyway because I was going into work hungover all the time and even beat up several assaultive older boys. It finally came to me that there was no point in ever growing up so I quit and reverted to shipping out with the merchant marine instead of the navy. I get the impression that men won’t grow up unless society just gives them all of the high paying jobs. The merchant marine is high paying but only because everyone works incessantly while aboard ship or really 15 hours per week seven days a week for months on end. But it’s a fairly luxurious existence because the stewards department waits on you hand and foot when you’re on the mess decks getting fed.
Its called Adapt and Overcome. Women have done it...Men have not. I was a single mom. I worked my arse off. I have two grown college educated daughters. Both well traveled and working in lucrative careers. Neither has the desire to marry. They both say the dating pool of men in their mid 20's to 30's is bleak.
If you want to know the real risks of this situation go look up "Why Are Men in Crisis?" from Bill Maher. He has professor Scott Galloway from NYU explain it. Basically, men with no purpose are dangerous and if left unchecked it will be bad for everyone.
it is the enormous gap now between wages and the cost of living. in 1979, my father didnt have a college degree, and was able to buy a nice 2 bedroom home on his own, with an average job, and pay his mortgage with one weeks pay. it takes 3 weeks of my pay to RENT a 1 bedroom apartment.
The persistent comparison of boys/men to girls/women as the examination of the deteriorating physical and psychological resilience of boys/men lacks depth. In few if any men's discussion about why we are not doing well we fail to adequately address two fundamental factors. The way boys and Men are socialised and the refusal to shift our social ideologies away from a neo-liberal economic ideology. It is our system of a narrow definition of masculinity that is killing boys and men. We are supposed to be successful but that success is not merit-based, it is mostly legacy based. This leads boys and men to feel isolated and alienated from other boys and men. The rage that emerges from this is then projected onto women, and other minority groups, but mostly we take it out non ourselves. As long as we have a system that values exclusivity, status and prestige, acquisition and competition boys and mens wellbeing will continue to deteriorate.
Maybe men should adapt to society and changing socialization and maybe you should stop assuming materialism which has been created by men is a “women’s” issue?
Anecdotally, I can say that my brother, the youngest and only male child, was supported far more than my sister and I in childhood. He was given private music lessons (us girls were not,) opportunities surrounding family scheduling to participate in sports (scheduling adjustments so us girls could participate in sports were deemed “impossible,”) later he was bailed out of jail, allowed to do so much more socially (i.e. have a girlfriend when dating was out of the question for the girls, have a job when girls were not allowed…) He was financially supported out of high school and while we all 3 went to college, he was not required to make his own way after graduating, which I think was a critical error on my parents’ part. My sister and I spent our early to mid 20’s very poor, eating only rice or noodles, and living in very cheap apartments in bad neighborhoods barely scraping by. We learned what it was like to be hungry and we worked our way out of it…while our brother just skated along being bailed out left and right. We are all in our 50’s now. Brother has a drinking problem which began when he was 12. He has a job which pays well, and a daughter and ex wife. He and his ex wife are terrible parents, just let their daughter do whatever and then bitch about how she misbehaves all of the time…he seems to have never grown up all the way…and it is most likely at least partly because everything in his life has come relatively easy so that when he has a challenge he just gives up. He has turned into quite the misogynist, blaming women for his failures rather than his own lack of effort because he does not have a clue about the road blocks women have to maneuver to get to where he has professionally by simply learning his job and doing it consistently. It is infuriating.
@@GIRLRAZR yeah, my brother doesn’t get me down. I rarely talk to him. He is very difficult for me to get along with, being drunk a lot of the time as he is. I have a great life. Loads of people can see he is wasting his, which is sad, but there is nothing I can do about that.🤷🏻♀️My point was really that sometimes it is the misogynistic attitudes of society in general which has coddled boys into the idea that things will just come to them without having to actually learn hard life lessons in a timely fashion. I have a cousin who fits the same description as my brother, and has the same problems. His sisters have done very well for themselves in their chosen fields.
I must admit, I am a lazy guy didn't do as much as I should, e.g. I didn't finish my degree. And my siblings, are disappointed, my work life is ok, but I don't react well to weird situations. I want to do more but feel limited, as I get older I don't bother with anything, no relationships, and I don't drink or smoke. I prefer to be along.
It's pretty obvious that letting young men or young people in general, "figure" it out on their own isn't working for a large portion of the population.
@@grantcanty7294 Good Question. If you look at this problem like you would an engineering problem, it's a TOTAL mess. In an engineering sense, you might as well knock down the whole structure and start from scratch. At minimum, I think any solution will require a profound change within the school system, public and private alike. Mental health needs to be monitored as you progress through school. The way young boys socialize needs to be re structured in school. The overall problem is raising a child that can participate in society and that starts with a functioning family, which is something the gov can't do much about. I am a cynical person and I don't see much changing on this issue. I do see more money being spent, but with limited results.
A good part of the problem is that group identity politics has us focused on trying to engineer outcomes for particular categories of persons (male v female, etc), and you can't do that without creating inequities and an overall adversarial system. If the problem you're facing is men being given preferential treatment, the solution is not to start giving preferential treatment to women; it's to end gender-based preferential treatment altogether. You accomplish that by treating people as individuals rather than as members of groups (class, gender, etc).
See, when preferential treatment was aimed at (primarily white) boys and men for centuries, we didn't all of the sudden start giving preferential treatment to girls and women. We *tried* just to get to equality. But, we're still at .78 to a dollar that men make doing the same work. And that's the best possible scenario - only white women make that much. If you're a black woman, *today in 2022*, you're making .55 to the dollar of a white man. People call it "identity politics" to dismiss the reality that in fact, sexism and racism are costly for those who live through it. The data is the data. Should we all receive the education and opportunities that are best for each of us? YES! Absolutely. Regardless of what "categories" others see us in. We're not living in Utopia yet, though, so real effort is needed. And be assured, achieving true equality requires hard, persistent work. What you see as "preferential" now is just marginalized groups trying to catch up.
Hmm. Not going to agree w your hot take. Imagine if men not only had to (suffer) living equal to women, but then take that down another notch. Men would implode. Honestly, I think there are many mature men I have a lot of respect for. But there are way way more that outwardly hate women getting more opportunities. So yea, I can't really feel bad if I am being honest. As a female special operations veteran, I'm not super interested in your emotions on this.
@@advocacynaccountablity the wage gap has been disproven. That gap exists only because men work longer hours than women. Side by side actually men and women make the same. Perhaps you should be standing up and for women to work longer days?
@@advocacynaccountablity This fight has been won. There are laws against this. I have been in charge of hiring, etc. Do you realize how much trouble a company would be in for doing this???? You don't think employees talk about what they are making? Gosh, I don't know how I got to be manager, picked over white men with the same license as me. Must have been a f**king miracle.
@@advocacynaccountablity you might want to rethink this. Having somebody work to provide for your every need is far from getting the bad end. Quite the opposite in fact
My friends in high school did not experience that. I would argue that early guidance throughout the school years at home and at school would give children a clear picture of what to expect. Vocational training would also help. The role of education in preparing you for the future, children need to see that.
Yes, if their parents are not there to guide and support them, quality education and its availability would still not matter. I came from a country who could care less about educating its people properly and even with parents being involved and actually working their ass off to pay for their kids education, the country is still failing. So after more than 30 years since I've chosen to settle here in the US, the country is still a basket case in terms of economic problems and civil discourse. Most Americans just don't realize how lucky they are to be living in this great country. Both Government and the people should have a symbiotic relationship to make our Democracy work.
@@obbie1osias467 parents were barely there to begin with it's only now that you can't just find a job to work as long as you like and still be able to save and afford things... Now you better know what you want to be and what you need to get there or you gonna work a job you can barely exist on. Really these jobs should just disappear there are no disposable jobs or people.
@@lpk6372 well that simply isn't true. The reason the federal reserve tries to maintain 5% unemployment is because the capitalist class requires the working class to maintain a constant level of anxiety and to accept the lowest wage possible for their work.
Sounds like the modern male is getting a taste of a fraction of what women had /have to deal with. At least they can get a loan without their fathers signature .
No, because back them Men didn't still expect women to pay for everything even though men were making more. Men are still expected to act like a MAN even though they're experiencing depression and suicide at a much greater amount than women.
Ah, an advocate for revenge from the old ways that modern men had nothing to do with . The Patriarchy is strong with you. You probably think men can raise children too. Yes. Revenge will help our society. I hope you do not have male children, if so, I feel sorry for them.
Looking at myself at 77, boys need more time to get serious. I doubled the 2nd high school class twice at 14 & 15 years and they kicked me out of school. Fortunately my parents found another school, who was prepared to give me a 3rd chance. My father showed me the Galvanization Department, where I would have to work, if I failed again! That was the moment I got serious. I finished high school with good notes and went to college to learn about electrical engineering and finished it, passing all tests without issues. I had a nice career and in the end my monthly salary was written with 5 digits.
Friendly old Brit: We both benefited from wise parenting harking back to the day when failing meant laboring or menial work for life. I was taken to a local coal mine in the early fifties and given the same message as we watched weary miners head home.
The vocational trades are the big thing for young folks nowadays! Unless you are going to college for a degree in a STEM field don’t even waste the time and money! HVAC and machine shop technicians are making way more money starting out than some newly graduated history major!
I went to college and got a good job with a private corporation. My sister drove a bus for a school district most of her life. In the last 2 years of her career she was a supervisor. She gets a $62K per year pension plus Social Security and I get no pension at all. Should have spent my life driving a &%$#ing bus for a unionized school district.
And you'll end up with a society that has no critical thinking skills, no literary and historical scholarship, no museums, nobody who knows foreign/ancient cultures and civilizations. What will you do with your money? Buy more crap?
So, it's stopping crime, rather than letting "boys be boys", that is the problem? Sounds more like boys, who were never told "no", that is the actual problem.
I’m going to be honest, ever since I was a little a girl the boys would kid around while the girls excelled in their classes. The girls had all types of personalities and they still had good grades. I think we should be more diligent with boys growing up and teach them that effort is required to be successful in life. You can’t expect to have everything handed to you.
I teach at a public elementary, I agree with you that values not taught at home must be taught in school. I don’t agree it’s a boy girl issue. This school readiness should be considered case by case regardless of gender on birth certificate.
👌🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾Of all the comments here, rhis one is the actual genesis of the problem. This is it. All of the other tedious responses sound sophisticated but are way off the mark.
Maybe there are some good points. But women were never coddled or babied. And it is not their fault men want to cop out. I was born in a family of 15 kids- yes they all lived. My husband died when I was 24 leaving me with 2 toddlers, I was desperate and did not even have a HS education. I went to mill after mill as that is all our town had. They all said the same thing. Who do you think you are? We hire men who need to take care of families. I said I was a widow with children. They said we only hire men. So In 1978 I studied encyclopedias to get my GED then I went on and applied to college. I was accepted but would have to take some HS level classes. I did. I did not have a babysitter. I took my kids to college with me. The school was all men except for a secretarial pool and that is what they called it. I worked the graveyard as a waitress. Sleep and food were not part of my daily activities. Men came in all the time and wanted sex, they would even pay for it! So lets start with the problem of being a spoiled brat boy that expects everything to be handed to them. Maybe the problem is they are not used to having to make it on their own. College wasn't easy for me. I nearly flunked out. I did not have the option to give up. Maybe men need to come to that too. Just buck up and stop whining. Life is hard then we die. 5 years of suffering led to a great career and real life and since my kids went to college with me, they grew up assuming they would go to college too. I am the only girl in my family to do this. I have one brother who also went to college, on a bunch of scholarships. Not me. He asked me how I did it. I bucked up. Men and boys you can too. Don't waste your life feeling sorry for yourself. Go live it while you are here on the planet.
Imagine what will happen in the United States with the rapid advancement in AI technology that the US is failing to address. Many workers will be replaced by machines. Machines capable of working 24 hours a day, requiring no breaks, no benefits and no salary. European countries are trying to prepare for this. Seeking solutions to an impending issue we will all have to face. The US isn’t even talking about it. That’s a big mistake IMO
My 80yo father talks to me about it because he reads a lot and is curious. But you're right, our political leaders don't dare bring up such doom and gloom - unless they can blame the other team for it. We've learned from climate change that the majority of Americans don't want to take preventative measures, preferring to disbelieve the evidence and shoot the messenger. Sadly.
Presumably this kind of flare up of a divisive topic where most people have an opinion on is related to the advancement in technology, in the form of a distraction. Maybe it makes sense though, as technology to replace labour on a grand scale isn't here yet and as soon as you start to tell people their jobs are useless they want to get paid for nothing or lose interest. I personally hope that one day people can do a 'job' like people go to fitness centers today to get exercise -- once upon a time there was no need for this as you'd be doing this to survive, but now people who want to do this do it because they can.
I have several female friends with one or more graduate and post-graduate degrees who are in long-term committed relationships or married to men whose profession is farming or manufacturing or tradesman (plumber, mason, mechanic) etc. They love their men. Not every woman wants to date the same ilk of men they are competing with in corporate or academic life. Leaving that whole culture when you come home can be a very refreshing thing. Many women LOVE men who work with their hands. Men who can MAKE and REPAIR tangible things. Also, why do people think you need a formal college education in order to be an intelligent life-long learner, or well-read, or well-informed; socially and culturally sophisticated? My friend's husbands and boyfriends are able to keep up and converse on a wide variety of subjects when they socialize with their college-educated colleagues. A college education is not mandatory for a man to have high EQ, a great personality or be a good lover and excellent co-parent. A college education has no preventative power to make a man not be a leech or misogynist and/or abusive or emotionally immature or not have mama issues, not have dangerous mental health problems, or addictions or lack of a life purpose or zero self-sufficiency and inability to contribute to a household. Those are the things that are most important.
THIS! I know people from high school that weren't academically proficient and cut out for 9-5 white collar office jobs, but they still made good money in blue collar jobs and travelled the world with that and have long-lived relationships...
One of the best things that ever happened to me in school was being held back in the 3rd grade. For some reason that is no longer an option. Currently I'm a disabled IT tech with an Associates married to a teacher with a Masters.
Holding students back a year, like giving failing grades, was deemed too emotionally damaging. Unfortunately instead we've taken away those warning signs, so parents & students fly through the system, blissfully unaware that they aren't learning sh*t. Then once they get to upper HS, or enter college, they hit a wall based on lack of study skills, self-care, and foundational knowledge. It's hitting girls as well, but due to socio-cultural factors, girls are more likely to "keep up appearances" by still doing their work, while suffering/neglecting other aspects of their life (emotional, social, self-fulfillment, etc). When boys/men struggle, their whole lives fall apart.
@@agathac6187 Depends on the district. Also the avg household income & ethnicity/background of the students. Have a lot of educators in my family, and the grade-advancement policies seem to vary depending on whether the parents are likely to complain.
He's assuming all women want to marry the rich guy 🤦♀️... That's kinda sexist. I have multiple degrees and my partner didn't go to college, but has a great job, benefits, pension and makes more money than most people with a degree. So I think he has a very unfair view on what is considered being successful and how love works 🙄
@agathac6187 I guess it depends on what state because I have a friend that's a teacher and she is NOT allowed to fail students. I think it started with no child left behind by George Bush. They cannot fail students for the same reason the original poster mentioned. This is all apart of that every kid gets a trophy.. things like this really damaged our society as a whole. We have a bunch of entitled, illiterate jerks walking around demanding everything abs understanding nothing.
I'm going to chalk it up to a lack of discipline, and mission focus. I was born with nothing, raised by Lesbians and I am doing better than most of my male friends imo. They may have nicer, more expensive homes and a wife but they have all the debt and obligation that goes with it. I own everything I need to live comfortably for the next 20-30 years (if I ignore maintenence) with 100% equity and 0% debt. No fancy education, no credit, just hard work for low pay and the discipline to not spend cash unless it was to make more cash. I used Abraham Lincoln's strategy for working men to escape poverty . . . "The prudent, penniless beginner in the world, labors for wages awhile, saves a surplus with which to buy tools or land, for himself; then labors on his own account another while, and at length hires another new beginner to help him. This, say its advocates, is free labor---the just and generous, and prosperous system, which opens the way for all---gives hope to all, and energy, and progress, and improvement of condition to all." The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume III I think it because they were born in to proper families and I was born free, so I am more motivated to prevent being tamed. All that being said, I am jealous of them because they have purpose and they are jealous of me because I have freedom. I think the only difference between us is I know the grass is the exact same shade of green on both sides of the fence.
@@timmorris171 What if you found out that women are biologically designed for and are best at intelligence, resilience, stamina, emotional maturity and stability, and for having fun in life? Would you tell men not to do those things?
I admire a lot of men who have chosen to stay at home and be full-time dads. It is not easy, and in some families it works well. It is the ultimate sacrifice to raise your family full time. House Husbands need to understand just as much as housewives, that your partner cannot make the money that they do, and pay the bills or mortgage without you. Just remember that everybody's job is important- especially yours.
@@JaneDoe-em7zi I repeat you don't know what you're talking about.One of the reasons men and boys are struggling is taking advice from women who think they know anything about masculinity.We need more male role models so that we don't have to read nonsense like this.
The over-emphasis on college and the denigration of trade jobs has begun to really affect men in general. I can't work in a lot of trade jobs due to health issues, but I am trained and certified in IT, but yet I have so many employers I apply to who still demand a college degree for their entry-level jobs. Going to college for a crappy degree was probably the biggest waste of my time and money, since I had learned nothing meaningful from the education that I couldn't otherwise receive for free online. I do not regret dropping out (family crisis factored into that), but sometimes I do think about going back to do a comp-sci degree. Some other issues I am aware of that I will no doubt get criticized or downvoted about are as follows. I am not familiar enough with LGBTQ men to be able to weigh in on gender-related issues they face, thus the following explanations will be from a straight male lens: Men have long been taught by society that showing emotion or vulnerability is considered "effeminate" or not manly. Men are generally conditioned to be emotionally cold and dense, even when they are undergoing great pain. Men are also viewed as disposable, such as the Selective Service System only imposing its mandatory registration on men. While it's still highly doubtful we'll ever have a draft, the point still stands. Men are also treated with a great deal of suspicion and unease from women (rightfully so in many cases, but _not all_ men), thus they have a long upward hill to climb to be able to enter any kind of serious relationship with a woman due to that, while women do not. As an example, dating apps feature this paradigm all the time in that men's profiles are basically invisible, rarely getting any hits from anyone, whilst women's profiles are constantly bombarded by desperate men, albeit often for malign reasons. Domestic abuse/violence, sexual assault, rape, and other crimes are usually investigated on the presumption that the male is guilty before proven innocent (even if they are the victim). Yes men still form the majority in those statistics, but women do these things too. But as always, even if the male is not the perpetrator, they are still considered guilty before proven innocent, and the innocent part often comes after a long, hard legal battle to even try to restore some dignity. And that is even before we factor in false accusations... BIPOC men are dealt the harshest hand of all, in that they have to deal with the above issues as well as racial inequity and division.
I think all the issues you e raised are 100 percent valid. Actually, your disquisition is well crafted. Here's a thought that reduces your thesis to it's most basic substance: Women can wear skirts, dresses and trousers. No questions. Men can wear trousers. Period.
There's always a need for trade jobs but men don't seem interested. Who's at fault? I've encouraged every young male relative to get some skill and they just don't want to focus on it. So they struggle. Who's fault is that?
you on point, man 👍you should see a recent video from one of Trevor Noah's Daily Show Behind-the-Scenes segments where he discussed about male intimacy that isn't just about sex and how it affects men in america. long story short: strong men do cry, and they don't want sex all the time, even a simple hug or a shoulder to lean on is all they want, but the 'powers that be' of the modern patriarch system say otherwise because they're stupid. prolly because they were never hugged as kids.
Hell, we are in the most politically and racially unstable era since Jim Crow. Throw social media in the mix, is like throwing Jet fuel on a napalm fire.
Maybe if you’re a super controlling parent that plans and forces a chosen future on your kids and don’t let them watch tv or play games, you can temporarily avoid some of these issues. But they’ll either grow to despise you or gain free will at some point, and when you don’t hear much from them you won’t know why. The real root cause is the structure of society. Even the devil used to be an angel.
We cannot discount video games. So many young men prefer the dopamine rush of video games over having a job, having sex with a real women, pair bonding, getting an education. We know this because millions of men say this themselves. Real life can't compare to the rush they get from gaming.
I was paying attention to my nephews high school graduation guest speaker and noticed something. She spoke at length about how girls can achieve success, girls can break through barriers, girls can do what they put their mind to, girls can overcome anything in their path, but never once did I hear her speak in a gender neutral, or address anything towards boys. She was speaking to a graduation class which was 70-75% male. This is the problem with society. Where are people speaking to the boys with such positive messages. I find a lack of overall support in society as a whole for boys with positive messages. Sadly, if you try to be positive about boys, the feminists come out asking what about girls? They don't realize having positive messages to boys actually helps girls in the long run as well.
This is a male problem because this is the by product of the institution's we have decided to uphold. The policies that MEN have put in place in this country has shaped that. That is why MEN do not make what their fathers used to make, and why they do not have what their fathers had.This is a problem for MEN, because MEN created it, and they are still voting to keep it in place. Men need to remember that majority of them have never really been shown to fix what is causing the problem. They have been shown to distract with new ventures that will give them more problems to deal with. This remind me a bit of the Tucker segment about men a few months back. This is the toxic man.
The plumber/mason/carpenter/artisan/ditch-digger you talk about was my father who married my mother, a nurse, back in 1953. It's not always about advancing your position - if someone goes into a marriage with certain expectations, they're bound to be disappointed. Maybe we should instead think about the goal of marriage instead of its meaning.
In the UK around 2000s there were many discussions about males falling behind academically in all groups and great ‘concern’ of course but women have only recently been able to compete on equal ground. And, once again we get the ‘boys develop later’ argument. 🙄
Female students receive 10% better grades (on average) for the same work. Male students are graded much more harshly. I can’t believe this stat isn’t ever discussed.
This assumes that the cause of the increased overdoses, suicides and alcohol related illnesses are due to structural economic factors and levels of education. But it needs to go deeper. Why are our boys and men failing to cope with the life struggles and instead turn to alcohol or drugs, or suicide? Those are all coping mechanisms for deep emotional struggles. It’s more socially acceptable for a boy or man to be angry than to express another emotion. But eventually that anger is so strong that they turn to alcohol or drugs to mask the internal pain, and/or they feel hopeless and take their lives. Teaching boys and men that emotions, all emotions, are NORMAL and healthy is key. Men and boys need access to mental health supports and a society that encourages social emotional well-being. Providing mental health supports to parents, and helping them to raise emotionally healthy children is the long term way out. The current trend in society that stokes fear, anger and division is making things worse.
This is a huge part of the problem. Emotional struggles, depression/anxiety, substance abuse - these are all massive obstacles to pursuing & maintaining education, career, family, etc. And the message that "boys don't feel" starts way early, even before kids start school - same as the sh*tty messages girls get. Basically we're ruining the next generation, and may already have screwed the current 20-something set.
"It’s more socially acceptable for a boy or man to be angry than to express another emotion." Actually, it's not - any more. Boys - and even grown men - physically fighting (be it boxing matches or bar fights) was pretty normal in the past but is viewed as unacceptable these days. I'm not saying I want people fighting in the streets, but I think the lack of a physical outlet for these kinds of emotions might well be part of the problem.
Wages have been frozen since the 70s , median wages are still 31,133 yearly, and only the top 15% have seen a wage increase. Unlike the 70s and before, you have to take on a mountain of debt if you want to go to college. All done in the name of giving a tax cut to millionaires. Not having these things means not starting a family for most men.
The methods of the education system are the same that they have been for centuries, to which men have significantly contributed and on which civilization is founded: speaking, listening, reading and writing. Men have had privileged access to education for ages, and now that the playing field has been leveled and girls are excelling, but this still doesn't translate to better jobs and equal pay, all of a sudden the education system is a problem?
@@zephyrus3554 Not everywhere in the world they don't. And even in the USA when the wage is negotiable women still often get paid less for the same position.
I'm so glad you are covering this subject. I could add some more insight i haven't heard you discuss. I am one of 9 children. Only 3 girls. I had two brothers pass at young ages 55. 59. And very much feel they felt as your book describes. I am the only one with a college degree and the oldest but didn't get this degree a bachelors till 39 yr old. Sometimes I feel my living brothers kinda resent it. But oh well I'm not the problem they perceive. Politically they perceive the lack of jobs in manufacturing in very narrow views. I think the greatest thing we can do is give t hem these infrastructure jobs and assist them t get vocational training hands on and into the jobs that exist today. Robotics, building. Electricians, etc. To boost their self esteem before they loose life. And of course for those who are college material some free college assistance for anyone starting out maybe first couple years.
They are victims of capitalism. Humans today are denied the right to food and resources unless we rent our bodies to other humans who have hoarded all of the resources. These elite humans with a need for ever increasing growth called profits, deny more humans the right to natural resources by not renting them and increasing workloads for the rented. We shouldn't blame the victim when we have people with master degrees working in fast food. Think about it, a modern human must be educated in order to eat?!! That is insane! There should be a floor below which no human should be allowed to fall. A UBI is needed to fairly distribute resources. A human could then earn additional money by working or competing in the private sector or working at a Citizen owned company, funded by the government to directly compete with private companies. The money addicted must be brought to heel!
Great comments. I agree completely. The trades offer fantastic jobs but for some reason the word isn’t getting out. My state has always had a very strong technical college network. Maybe most states have not invested in tech colleges. I have multiple high tech post graduate degrees and have always had endless well paying jobs to choose from. Most folks don’t like college like I did. For many good reasons. One of my best buddies, who I first met whitewater kayaking, is a heavy equipment operator. He went to tech school out of high school and strategically got an apprenticeship with the country’s top electrical utility union - the guys who lay down our nation’s electrical infrastructure. The guys with the expertise who come from all over the northern states to rescue the southern states during hurricane and tornado devastation. The south essentially has minimum wage ($15-$20) untrained, uncertified workers who know how to do one thing kinda sorta. They have no idea how to get a devastated 20 county wide electrical grid back in operation. And in record time. My buddy is certified to operate just about any heavy equipment made on earth - except the worlds largest cranes - all 4 of them. He runs equipment that drills small cable tunnels underground, that go under lakes and wetlands and pops up a couple miles away on the other shore. While steering it around underground obstructions. It’s like harnessing a huge borrowing snake. He could easily make $200,000+ annually but he prioritizes spending a lot of free time whitewater kayaking, surfing and backcountry skiing. I also know a few young plumbers and regular electricians who went to tech school out of high school. They will soon be making $100k a year. They don’t have the incredible flexibility of my kayaking buddy but that’s a damn good living. One of my kids chose not to go to college - she graduated high school at 17 with full honors and took every AP course available. She entered a 2-year tech college surgical technician program and finished in 1 year. She passed out of all the 1st year prerequisites. She’s 20-years-old, looks 17 and is already making $80k with full benefits. She has already assisted in almost every type of surgery except transplants and brain/neurology. She needs more certs and training for those. Men who dislike the traditional college route should really check out good tech schools. An added benefit is that they are highly subsidized by state and federal programs so tuition is cheap.
I think this conversation is identifying the issues on a superficial level because citing a shortage of opportunities in the skilled labor workforce, in the presence of booming technical and engineering c career paths implies that men can only employ and thrive in physically laborious workforces. It's almost to insinuate that men aren't good in academic professions or careers that are primarily intellectually stimulating. Perhaps I am thinking too much into it, but the American education system was initially instituted to educate boys; girls weren't initially the intended audience for education - so to make the sentiment that modern education isn't beneficial to men causes me to question whether this sentiment is prevalent because girls and women are legally able to co-exist with men. And to cite the lack of manual labor/manufacturing profressions as a reason for male discontintment seems juvenile when so many other industries are being created and almost all professions are male led and dominated. In my observation, I don't think the changing educational and occupational landscape is the cause for male discontintment, I think its more the fact that as more women become educated and financially stable, less women are willing to accept the bare minimum from men, or are less willing to date or socialize with mean spirited, abusive or otherwise undesirable men. I think female rejection due to higher standards and women having access to more resources are affecting the self worth of modern men, especially as they compare their lives to that of their fathers and grandfathers, and this is the actual reason for the high unfullfillment sentiment, low achievement and low self esteem of 'modern men'.
@@MzVickyLynne You are well meaning but are extraordinarily myopic due to recent gibberish perpetrated by “feminism” when it comes to boys and men. I am one of those men highly educated from some of America’s largest research universities. I have advanced degrees in computer science, space science (satellite remote sensing) and biology (in particular northern forested mega-ecosystems and disturbance through millennia since the last ice age). Our early research teams predicted global warming decades before “climate change” became a thing to the average citizen. Virtually all of society’s problems involving underachieving males and females - witness the tens of thousands of nasty daughters spreading their obese butts in Tik Tok, Only Fans and elsewhere - comes from one source. Single mothers who have no clue how to raise successful sons and daughters. While single mothers are impeding and destroying the lives of their sons early in life they are often doing the same to their daughters. In one short decade from now - the 2030’s - fully 50% of women aged 25 to 35 will never get married and will never have children. Why? Because they are toxic to today’s men and where marriage for men only has negatives. Men are rejecting long term relationships with American women. Societies do not last under such toxic relationships and such low birth rates. BTW I have 4 very successful happy sons (2) and daughters (2). I once considered myself a feminist. A couple decades ago. I had a very hard working mom and sisters. Feminism today is a verifiable hate group. As demonstrated by your deluded and toxic comments. The sad thing is you don’t recognize your hate and misandry. You are absolutely clueless of them. Kind of sad. It’s even sadder if someone with your POV has sons. Let’s hope you don’t.
I think that’s the biggest thing for a lot of people - it’s the economic difficulty of getting in debt in order to get educated then once you get your degree, having to pay off that debt and feel stressed. If we had federal student debt relief, so many more people could get an education and actually affect the US economy in an impactful meaningful way
Unbridled capitalism is the reason why most people are getting poorer and poorer. The wealth is being concentrated in a tiny percentage of the population.
Just so we're clear. USA have to bring in students for graduate STEM and medical fields because American men are not filling those roles. I read some at least 30% of the doctors in the USA are foreign born. Nothing wrong with that. Just pointing it out.
@@grtinfulleffect8349 I've tried applying for jobs outside my state, even on the other side of the country but unfortunately it seems no one will interview or hire unless you already live nearby. And I just don't have the means to do that, financially or socially.
They are freaking clueless, I was working full time at a sleep clinic going to school full time and volunteering at the VA. I was wanting to go to med school and when I went to the school counselor to get my classes in order the councilor told me “you’re a white male, that’s going to make it very difficult to get accepted at our school (University of Utah). I asked why and was told the administration is pushing for more diversity specifically for more Asian people and women to be accepted…after that meeting I said screw it it’s not worth it if I’m going to work my butt off just to be told the school wants more diversity so you’ll likely not be accepted. That’s why males are not going to school anymore.
The suggestion that boys start school a year later than girls makes a lot of sense unless you have a boy who is unusually mature for his age. I got a lot of flak from my husband for insisting that our son go to pre-first after graduating from kindergarten based on his emotional maturity. There also was the fact that my son was significantly smaller than other boys his age. The boys in the pre-first class which only had 15 students in it were emotionally immature for their age and ALL of them were way smaller than average. The girls were normal size but were very hyperactive. There were 3 - 4 boys for every girl in that class. When my son entered junior high school, he thanked me for sending him to pre-first because he still was small for his age but the difference between him and other seventh graders would have been REALLY striking without that extra year to gain some more growth. As it turned out my son was a late bloomer and his adolescence and growth lasted from 14 - 22. His IQ from when he was eight to an adult increased 25 points. He started out in the normal range for IQ. That is a huge increase in IQ and no medical professional could explain how it happened. I am also in a big believer in the importance of recess and play for children, particularly boys. All that excess energy needs to be used up or they get very fidgety in class. I used to send the twitchy students to the office to deliver notices and surveys just so they could work off that nervous energy. When kids like this came back to class after five minutes of walking with a little human interaction, they were much more ready to learn. My son has ADHD and can't be medicated for it, so I had him do his assignments in reverse. The harder tasks were first and then got easier. So many children with ADHD get frustrated due to their short attention span. I would rather have my son di his schoolwork that way so that he starts off being successful and can continue being successful in his assignments. I also had him take play or relaxation breaks if he was getting frustrated. No TV! The greatest thing was when he turned 12. I started giving him a cup of coffee with lots of milk and sugar in it with breakfast "like they do in France". That caffeine at the beginning of his day made a huge difference in his attitude and ability to perform academically at school.
Girls need to get out aggression just as much as boys. I was very athletic as many girls are and we can be every bit as driven and energetic. Stop sexist attitudes. That drive led me to be a great business person.
I don't like the idea of holding them back. Age and physical development is only one factor in learning. The curriculum and the way it's taught is more important. And even still every student has their preferred subject. Rather then holding them back in Elementary I think parents should encourage high school graduates to take a gap year or two and just work. Let them earn money and grow.
@@CalienteDesign Instead of being shrill and trying to convince me, a woman who started working in a male dominated field 45 years ago and made a career out of it, try to direct your efforts towards finding ways to even up the gap between women and men in the sciences, fields that use a lot of advanced mathematics as well as non-traditional fields that men dominate. I am sure you could be a shining example to girls or mentor them in junior high school and high school which is where they start falling behind the males in taking mathematics and science courses. "By ages 13 to 17, only 11% of girls say they plan to pursue a STEM career, compared to 35% of boys (according to a survey by Junior Achievement)."
Tanya, I appaud you for making good choices for your child. My oldest son has difficulties now that are based on the lasting effects of young uninformed parenting. I have four grown children, three boys and a girl. I can see the early decisions I made about their schooling and discipline cast long shadows into the way they approach their challenges.. The younger three have much more insight, and are able each in their own way to better vanquish fears .
It's pretty revealing that not much time was spent talking about the fact that back in the 60's and 70's, working men were held in equal status with all other segments of the social fabric. And no mention of the incredible dumbing down of curriculum that has hampered both sexes in the past 20 years. Back in the day, having a college degree didn't mean you looked down or ignored other members of society. Union work was as prized as any other labor. My dad and all his friends worked union jobs and had houses, took vacations, and their kids went to school if they wanted to. Much has changed and the masculine-based identity of men is faltering with a new generation untethered from older female/male social roles. Men now simply don't know what their role or requirements are. I think the Native American "two-spirit" ideology may be a good starting point for balancing these waning realities. Men need to know there can be different expectations to their lives, just as women were pushed and supported to discover theirs.
@@rainbeauxunicorn5237 Whatever you want to call it. I call it "quantum sense." Another wisdom we didn't pick up from the primary inhabitants. Too much european baggage.
@@paulwheeler6609… the majority of indigenous cultures recognized multiple gender classifications. It wasn’t until colonization that they were forced to turn their backs on their culture to “adopt” westernized culture.
US boys/men have been fed a myth about their place in society for generations. Between that and the unrestrained flight of production industry offshore, the tension between the crumbling myth and the non-existent economy of 50 years ago is crushing the male spirit.
I don't know why these guys are treating women being in the workforce enmasse like it's something new and we'd wait and see what the results are. After I graduated from high school 50 years ago, women were pouring into the workplace. Aren't we seeing the results by now? What I see are kids raising themselves and more and more people treating each other with disrespect in ways I never thought I'd see. In a perfect world, at least 1 parent would stay at home and raise the kids, doesn't matter if it's mom or dad. But with people finding it almost impossible to make ends meet today, I don't see that happening. Also, there are more single mothers living in hotel rooms with their children, working 2 and 3 part-time jobs. I don't expect us to go back to the 50's and wouldn't want to, but damn I wish people would treat each other with more caring and respect and teach their kids the same. They need to be made to feel worthy. So many people, men and women, are depressed and feel worthless and it all starts at home if they have one. I wish I knew the answers to the self-esteem problems Americans seem to be having, but men, especially seem to be suffering with it. I agree with everyone on here who is listing the problems with society, but what's happened to the will to fix it?
You just listed it. Women are willing to live in a hotel and work multiple jobs for the kids and men… how many men are willing to exist such? Not have their own home and still work and take care of their kids alone? Men need to adapt. Men need to work and parent. This is changing, but every man in this comment section who says he’s the primary parent is bombarded with comments about how his wife/ gf doesn’t respect him, will leave him. MEN are the problem. They created this and they don’t want to change. They still have more power.
@@jennifermcgoldrick6323 you are making assumptions about all men. There are men who raise children due to deadbeat women out there. Stop your hating on men. Stop portraying women as martyrs and being so innocent. Feminism and gender studies taught in Colleges and Universities poison women to hate men. That is not helping. You totally proven misandry is alive and well in a your posts. In this day and age, women have lots more rights and options than men. That is a fact. I am married, successful in my own online businesses, and don't have to deal with any potential bullshit in any workplace. Men can adapt by having their own online businesses successfully and move on that way. It really works.
@@ValiantMichael no dude, I’m responding to all of the hateful messages on this comment thread, many aimed at men who defend their wives or say they are the caretaker or make less than their wives. I’m responding to actual hate. You’re mentioning theories and hating on me. You are proving every point I’ve made.
I am very aware of this as a mother of 3 males. However, I hope people will remember that black males were the canary in the mine in terms of these issues. Unfortunately, much of the nation did not think of young black males as young people with needs just as in other sectors of the nation.
I love men, think they are wonderful and think they should embrace their differences. I've observed that the more intelligent a being is the longer they tend to take to have certain experiences and reach maturity, presumably a more complex and deferred type of maturity. So I respect this kind of process... Simpler things reach completion faster. Being either way is not a bad thing. It's just a thing.
You females didn't have to work for any opportunities they're just given to you because you're a f****** female that's all right you do what you need to do man you guys are going to be alone in your 40s because you focused all on your career but hey man sexism and fascism from feminism what a country
This comment I think is genuinely insightful. This is a really complicated topic and ill-suited to politicians or groups that ultimately have some approval based on general voting IMO. Seems people growing up in war torn areas or areas with strife often grow up faster and are more able to perform most adult things faster, but this comes at a price of stunting later development in many areas. Probably the majority of these individuals would have peaked at a later age with higher capabilities in many areas. Girls appear to grow faster, physically in height and finish growing faster too than boys (at 22 or something like this). It is very likely that different sections of the brain do the same and are affected also by hormones to grow larger or smaller as a proportion of the overall size at different ages. Seems as though it is generally good to take longer to develop as one will develop to a greater extent, but also some areas might just be bigger in girls in the brain, and others, such as a overall size, bigger in boys/men. If you really want to go by ability at ages then a chimpanzee will vastly outperform the human girl or boy at 6 months, a giraffe will completely outperform all in the first week. Just something to think about. Anyway, it is dumb IMO to delay boys development by one year artificially. Individuals are better suited to be looked at by qualified teachers. You can always pull up stats showing all good chess players are men with no women near the top, or just attend any engineering or physics competition. Then you can go get a million different English/literature teachers to show girls are doing far better at writing/reading. We're built different but it's all good and please don't delay boys just for some dumb idea or political reason across the board. It is good to have people who think deeply, those who will just blurt out something, and everyone in-between. This makes us strong as a society.
uh...no. the more intelligent a person is, the more CAPABLE a person is and will be given MORE OPPORTUNITY and be given it SOONER. the most intelligent children skip grades, typically sit first chair in orchestra sooner, enter college earlier and are promoted faster. they enter graduate school SOONER and EARLIER and thus get their degrees younger and their professional licenses at a younger age.
@@RobertMJohnson This is only true to a point. Generally very smart people do develop fast. However, so many people that develop fast never reach great heights at later ages (so called 'wonderkids', usually pronounced in a stereotypical German way). If you go to college or university and study something difficult for a while you would have met some of them. Some balance is usually the way to go with development it seems. Some food for thought - the smartest human ever born would not even come close to outcompeting a very average chimpanzee at 6 months/9 months, and yet no chimpanzee can outdo an average human adult in any mental task. It's a complicated topic, and like most things that are worth talking about, the more you know, the less you really know. This is only one aspect of a larger picture, but is valid and worth considering.
I hope we see more of this! I've always wanted to see men's issues more included in the discussion, rather than being dismissed as "the crocodile tears of an oppressor". Gender issues are so inextricably linked that the issues of both need to be considered for the best solutions.
Let's not confuse the guy who is struggling, with the jerk who makes fun of him for it. A lot of people have this assumption that "All men are the same." But they're not. The good people are just forced to be in the same space as the bad ones.
Agree with comments about not starting all boys a year later, instead preferring starting both girls & boys in formal schooling when they are ready for it. For some this might mean 1 or more years later than average while some could start a year earlier than average. l also believe the current schooling method is wrong as it a factory that tries to push everyone along the same path at the same speed instead of tailoring education to the individual's needs & realistic potential. Examples; if someone that has obviously better ability to learn chemistry/biology but poor history/literature scores should (if interested) get an education tailored for a job in the sciences without the need to get good scores in physical ed./social studies while someone else that has great difficulty learning at all should get an education (unfortunately) tailored to labouring/factory & life skills. There is no one answer for each individuals requirements & the education system & society as a whole needs to realise this & adapt to this reality & be flexible enough to adjust to fill each person's needs so they can reach their best potential while being the most beneficial to society.
Not my problem. Since the agricultural revolution the equality gap between men and women started increasing and men grabbed that advantage by the horns and rode it till now stepping on the necks of women. Cue modern day where we no longer need your strength, protection and work to survive. It's our turn now. And you're on your own to find your purpose.
When I was married over 55 years ago (Tokyo Embassy)... my wife (two years older than me) was a nurse Captain in the army (during Vietnam) and I was enlisted in the Air Force. She had a BS, I had High School. She pushed me into a degree (BS) in Accounting. Yes ... there were a lot of other things that caused me to get the BS.
IIMO, it is eternally that boys have so few stable, caring male mentors that will give them time and attention. So many fathers are absent or abusive. In my own family most of the older men were very abusive to their sons---really selfish, sadly. Those men really only cared about their own careers and hobbies and showed little to no interest in being part of their sons' lives.
@@jann4sundown men weren’t the ones ignored wrt to education and independence until only two generations ago. Find another boogeyman unless you want to accept that men fail men, fathers fail sons. Seems like a dick problem.
First and foremost for the last fifty years any boys that have shown any kind of affection for their friends get mocked and ridiculed to the point that they all walk around thinking a romantic partner is supposed to be their only source of companionship.
But you sound like a women hater republican.. why would you assume they even identify as boys. Your biological assignment of these people is disgusting and is the direct reason they stay oppressed. you need a serious cultural update.. stay woke everybody😂
Great discussion until right at the end. I'm a court reporter -- 5 to 6-figure job that doesn't require college. And I thought if I got into school and didn't like it, I'd consider becoming an electrician or a plumber because they often make as much or more . There's a critical shortage of skilled trades people in the US because for a generation, everyone was told to go to college and take on massive debt. While not college, you certainly do have to learn A LOT to be in the trades! I'm not sure why a nurse marrying a plumber is considering him not to have an education! A lot more people in high school should be encouraged to go to trade schools and also be required to take some basic business classes as well so they can run those businesses. Related to that, my brother's an Army colonel. He said that enrollment in the military is down because, setting aside those who are physically or mentally handicapped, 90 percent of the 18-23 year old disqualify because of arrest records, substance abuse issues, obesity and general lack of any sort of physical fitness. I find that stunning, but I think it's related to this topic.
unless a plumber has a BA or BS, he is considerd "not educated". that's the vernacular. it doesn't mean he's not intelligent, doesn't know his trade, isn't successful. it's just how we distinguish those who went to college and those who did not.
Maybe it’s a good indicator that less people are enrolling in the military, recognizing that many of the conflict may our governments get involved in are simply for power, money or resources, instead of humanitarian issues. Why be cannon fodder for the military-industrial complex so some CEO of a military contractor can make billions by you risking your life?
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My male neighbor said something to me the other day that made a lot of sense. He said “I pray for a zombie apocalypse so that I could have a mission and do something useful with my life.” I think that sums it up. They feel mission-less.
@que lo que he actually is a handyman and is very busy. He’s also an artist on the side. He just doesn’t feel fulfilled. No family. Suffers from debilitating depression and anxiety… but knows he has to keep getting up everyday so he can eat and keep a roof over his head. He just doesn’t know what the point is. He’s been at the edge of suicide several times. He just doesn’t feel he has anything to live for. He’s a Scorpio sun and a Scorpio rising with 7 other major planetary placements in Scorpio. That’s some really tough energy to move through life with. He’s lucky he’s still around at 47.
that's weak. the problems are real for many men, but there are also way too many spoiled, upper-middle class kids who complain about not having meaning in their lives. weak
@@RobertMJohnson so what is the meaning of life. Let's hear it.
That’s because men have been taught that they only have a narrow range of possible ways of being. If we stop stuffing them into the protector/provider box, everyone will be a lot happier
@@RobertMJohnson there is nothing weak about wanting ones life to be meaningful and to have a selfless reason for existing. What is weak is your inability to empathize with people who require more then junk food, tv, beer, pot, big trucks and porn.
Not sure about other countries but in Norway, people are able to choose a trade to learn starting in 10th grade such as electrician, carpentry, fishing, health workers etc. which also has a mix of work and schooling. The college bound students are then going to regular high schools which in general have less students struggling. In US the options are much more limited.
The guys that were learning a trade in my high school were looked down on. So much so that when they moved the computer repair, networking and programming courses to the vocational school parents wanted to file a lawsuit. lmao
The problem with Americans is that we have been told for decades that if you go to trade school... You aren't good enough. Most universities are for profit, no matter what they say... That's your real problem.
It's far superior system to what USA has been doing for decades.
What you said was the way it used to be here and and countries emulated it...
But politicians got in it in us to enrich colleges...look where politicians go after they do damage...they become the presidents
@@kpepperl319 100 percent correct
The idea that we are still putting such a stigma on trade jobs is baffling. I have a friend from high school who went through an MD/PhD program at Johns Hopkins to become a leading cancer researcher. At 42, He is just now finishing paying off all of his student debt. Meanwhile, I also have a friend from high school who became an electrician. He is now one of the wealthier people that I know. Both have wives who stuck with them through the hard times. Both are quite successful in their respective fields. Both are examples of men who are doing very well in this country. One is an academic and a leading researcher in a competitive and difficult medical field. The other is a tradesmen. One has been accumulating wealth for two decades. The other is just now beginning to. Time to end the stigma.
Wow my dream is to go Johns Hopkins 🤩 I want to get an MD myself. There is loan forgiveness options and ways to pay it off sooner. Chase your dreams, if it’s to be an electrician that’s awesome too 👏
We're not talking about just money. A well-educated man is a more interesting person to have long conversations with because he is more exposed to deeper knowledge and is open to a wide array of ideas and possibilities.
@@hotchicsf I agree. But which is the well educated man?
I'm a court reporter which is a trade. Paid about $600 per year for two years. Walked out making $50K day one and now make far more. Court reporters, electricians, plumbers all across the country are struggling because we're running out of folks! A friend in his 90s came in to help us do depositions one day because things are THAT BAD.
@@hotchicsf While I agree that it's more interesting to speak with people who are knowledgeable, I believe the more important point is that a person is curious and fascinated and therefore wants to learn more. I've met men with a Masters in Mathematics who just really knew nothing more than that. I've met many folks with no colllege who nevertheless study philosophy, international politics, knew four or more languages, had a passion for art, science, food, music and believe me, I can go on from there. Curiosity followed by a longing to learn is more important than a college education in forming a well-rounded, well-informed person.
Men have been calling out for help for decades. It's at the point where the system cant even ignore it anymore, and they still dont get it.
That is why the system will be ripped apart and another built by men in its place.
Women and men simply desire different traits in their partners.
That’s why trying to make everyone completely equal was not a good idea.
Now the women go for the chads. When that doesn’t work out, they want the other men. But why would you want someone that clearly sees you as a save fourth option.
@@taras3702Sound like a communist.
@@kevinc8955I am the farthest thing from a Communist, but my kinsmen and women sent hundreds of thousands to the guy in the red suit.
Calling for help about what? I went to school I got a degree that I have a job and use my degree you get nothing for free in life. What you’re putting into it you’re getting out of it and that’s the way it’s always been in every culture on the planet this whole nonsense is now we can blame society because of poor decisions people make I don’t care if you’re a man or woman you make crappy decisionsyou have usually have a crappy life
As a 53yo man, I can understand the struggle young men have from their mid-teens up until middle age. How I feel today is vastly different from the hormone driven, chaotic, person I was when breaking into adulthood and trying to find my way in life. I also suffered from ADHD (much milder now) and had trouble focusing on one thing, putting far too much energy into as much as I could handle. The result was often failure, quickly followed by depression, then anger at the world for not working how I wanted it to. I also hung around other young, aggressive, men that did the same. Smoking mary was a way to calm my frustrations, which led to other issues with motivation and lack of focus, combined with group aggression towards The State that had failed [us]... It was a vicious circle.
I am lucky to have dug myself out of that rut and rebuilt my life by relocating and taking time to assess my priorities. Something that is not always possible for people to do. I also walked away from the m-j (a significant shackle).
Seeing how many young men are so depressed, angry and frustrated, is worrying. The media is riling them up and the "powers that be" are poking them. It's a recipe for disaster, being that the greatest risks to public safety are violent men around the late teen to late 20's mark. We saw it in Syria, we see it with the shootings int he US and we watch it on places like TH-cam etc.
Maybe it's time to consider a different approach to the expectations of young men before it's too late?
Women also experience these things and yet, we’re expected to rise to the occasion.
@V Vimm This topic covers men. Women are just as important, but maybe you can allow a conversation that needs to be had concerning men, rather than dismiss it because you want women to be the topic instead? Is it too much to ask? Or are only women allowed to have problems in this word?
im so impressed by your insight
Thank you for sharing your story. You are a example of discipline and faith.
Expectations to men? The only expectations that matter to any man. are his own
Short answer, cost of living is too high. Moral’s, custom’s, and values has been dying.
Yes
I got a college degree in veterinary medicine a few years back. Went looking for a job after I graduated, I applied to EVERY vet's office within a 50 mile radius never got an interview. After a year or so of rejection I began to notice something about these offices. The lack of men. They were all mostly run and operated by women. Nothing wrong with that but I felt as if I was being discriminated against because I'm a male trying to get a job in a female dominated job market. So I gave up on my dream of becoming a veterinarian.
I went to a nursing program once and I was the only guy in the class. When they played a video of an geriatric woman getting cleaned some of the women in the class laughed and said " I bet youve never had some of that..". Women can be just as discriminatory if not even more so than men.
My vet, my dentist and my eye doctor are all women and they only employ women. I asked why there were no men in their practice and they all said men have never applied to work there. I don't believe it for minute. Another issue with men struggling is that if they dare get married, it's only a matter of time before they are destroyed in divorce court.
My doctor, dentist, and the rest are all men.. Women dominate the lower tiers in banking too and many are mean as hell.
Feminists hate men and have alot of influence. They hate the traditional family and have an agenda. women hire women. Its time for gender-based class action.
Try a home visit business,
at first part time to see if it works out. Dog groomers make good money So sorry to read this. Try to get a specialty niche. Also a lot of emphasis on farm animal disrases, see if you can get an intership.
I think people don’t like to think about how men that don’t come from an affluent background and didn’t excel in school are pretty much considered disposable in our society. It’s a very ingrained class system in the US. The system is even set up to shame people that didn’t have a good start for not being more successful. It’s more shameful to be an honest poor person than a rich criminal in this country.
Correct
these are the guys who used to make a decent living by working in factories - a lot of the problems facing males now is a direct result of offshoring
even if every male was well educated, there are not enough good jobs for everyone. most jobs are not worth even applying for
Many manufacturing jobs were sent overseas where labor is cheaper, and that has probably hit non-college graduate men hardest.
A high rate of legal and illegal immigration is also a factor. Costs over $100b a year if you strictly look at it from an economic perspective, can lower the wages and change the demand for workers which puts the native born at an unnecessary disadvantage.
@@anacc3257 So you are saying that the majority of businesses are prepared to use illegal workers and pay them "under the table"? To the tune of $100bn?
Really? Have you *THOUGHT* about what you are claiming?
@@holgerlubotzki3469 businesses are using both legal & illegal immigrants. Both drive down wages for American workers.
@@holgerlubotzki3469 You might be surprised
@@holgerlubotzki3469 The Rust Belt cities would like to have a word with you for being ignorant by about 30 years.
Jobs don't pay enough, everything costs more and there are more things you have to have to participate in society. You have to have a cell phone and be on call all the time to work a job that doesn't even pay the bills. Not just minimum wage jobs but any job that doesn't pay at least $75k a year isn't worth working if you have a degree.
So why get a useless degree and go into debt when you can start your own little business or learn a skill that will pay you enough to be your own boss?
I’m a teacher with 3 degrees and I make 62,000 a year. That’s the most I’ve ever made.
It depends on where you live, in some places 36k a year goes a long way.
@@bischnou Thats sad, you should be paid double that or more. Teachers are the most important workers in society they shape the future. Talent cost money and should be rewarded. Instead Wall Street banks fail, get bailed out and then makes millions the next year. Capitalism works but only when managed with societys best interests in mind. That is why a small but well run County like German is so powerful, strong unions and social institutions.
@@hugomarquez3189 Where is that? I couldn't pay rent and buy food with that.
As an elder elder, I remember when boys graduating from high school could hire into a manufacturing job with a living wage, total medical benefits, sick days, vacations rising with service. This allowed them to marry, buy a home, raise a family. And all this because of organized unions. This began to erode with Ronald Reagan with his trickle down economics, southern strategy and busting the unions. And Democrats actually voted for him! So, what has happened in America is because Americans voted against their own interests. As a mother of two sons I sympathize with men in this unfair environment.
Yup, I agree, the policies of Ronald Reagan decimated the American middle class.
Here with go with the horse shi* with your Democrat comment! You Karens never stop which is a main reason Amerikkka is imploding!
Well said. I also experienced this first hand. We were our own worst enemies.
You said it. I'm sure there are other reasons as well but the attack on working people and unions that jumped into high gear with the criminal Reagan administration has had a huge impact on this situation. And you are right again in that Americans voted against their own economic interests because Reagan and the entire republican political strategy wrapped themselves in the flag or anti abortion or anti gay rhetoric and much of the working class fell for the con. And still do to this day.
Exactly this!!! Reagan screwed over the country and we have yet to recover
As a student in the 60' and 70's it used to be boys encouraged and girls discouraged. When I returned to the classroom to teach it was the opposite. I think everyone should be encouraged and fairly paid so one person can stay home and raise kids. These trends explain so much about what is wrong in America. I was the original house-husband and got much teasing because of it. Luckily my wife made good money so I got the kids off to school, did some laundry, and perhaps poured 5 yards of concrete.
I think Conrad that we need to have a better balance than that. If you’re going to have kids, it’s nice to be able to spend time with them, family time with everyone. We all work so much. Or one parent does all the working and they miss out on so much. The kids grow up barely knowing the one that works, and that I find a bit sad. My grandparents raised me and my grandpa worked until the last year of his life. There was so much that I wish I had asked him. I wish he could have hung out more. That he hadn’t needed to work so hard. I wish I just would have gotten to know my grandpa more because he was such an amazing man. My grandma was always home and so I got to know her relatively well but it makes me sad that my grandpa spent so much of his life not around his kids or me who his hard work raised. But I’m glad that you were a trailblazer regardless. It’s not a fun thing to get teased because you’re not following the norms. So, good for you Conrad. I hope all the kids grew up well too.
It depends on the family. A lot of women and men have no desire to stay home all day with their children and make that their day job. The goal should be that a family can afford to take care of their children whether they both have jobs or one prefers to stay home and care for the children and/or home. This would mean the government subsidizing daycare like it did during WWII and more family-friendly work policies.
@@emem2863 couldn’t agree more 👏
Hahah nice this made me lol “priority” … after laundry you got to build some random sh$t to stay happy !!
I wonder if it’s due to over compensation. For forever girls lacked encouragement at home and at school, that was the norm. Now perhaps both are trying to make up for the other. Teachers are assuming the girls don’t get enough attention at home, and vis versa for the parents.
Huh. Who would have thought there would be any adverse consequences from making tertiary education unaffordable for the majority of Americans, or permitting employers to treat employees like disposable slaves? Weird.
This fellow expresses the issues really well but the employment problems aren't only the fault of politicians. Many (not all) business leaders have arguably played the largest role in pushing various deregulations that weakened job satisfaction & pay.
Corporate greed causes many societal problems
The death of the blue collar American middle class is a direct result of 20yrs of cheap illegal labor flooding the country at the behest of both political parties
Affirmative action, tokenism and businesses letting diversity initiatives take precedence over merits and what's economically beneficial may also play a part, shaping the economy and market demand in a way that only benefits girls or minorities in the short term.
@@anacc3257 That’s the dumbest shit I have ever read.
Not many, but at least 95% of them. When you put your government in the hands of wall street and big corporations, the working stiff pays the price.
I'm nearly 3yrs older than my wife. She's college educated, I am not. She is clearly more intelligent and mature than I am. I'm not dumb, I'm good at my service based job, I do the majority of the housework. We spend equal amounts of time with our child, planning for a 2nd. The education system did indeed not work for me, but I've adapted and thrived as best I can. Hopefully, things will get even better for more boys and men.
how did you manage to trap her?
Thanks for keeping it real.
@@anuragchakraborty8766 she will cheat him soon or already cheating.😂😂
You shouldn't have had to adapt. Our piss poor education system should have helped you. I'm not disparaging you, or saying you're less because of your position in life, but it's not right you were abandoned by an uncaring system.
Myportie So you're the housewife. Or should I say, houseman?
I think that we have (collectively, societally) created a situation that's incredibly hard for boys and young men to understand where and how they are still valued in society, instead surrounding them with a sense that their innate masculine energy is toxic, unwelcome, oppressive by its very existence, fundamentally flawed.
I don't think boys are necessarily told their innate masculine energy is toxic, but I do think society still tries to instill "traditional male" roles from 50 years ago on boys and men, without adjusting for the society today. The "traditional male" looks very different for my nephew at 9 than he did when I was 9. There doesn't have to be a very narrow view of what it means to be a man, which is liberating and terrifying at the same time. Plus, many of the actions that were excused as boys being boys, are no longer. So there are fewer rewards and greater punishments for some of those "traditional male" behaviors, which is definitely contributing to the male crisis.
When a society spends 23 hours a day telling men that they are toxic and that women’s feelings and advancement are more important than anything else, yes, it’s going to cause damage to the male psyche.
@@tiffanywatson5474 no
@@tiffanywatson5474 Does western Feminism and it's infiltration in most aspects of western society have any to do with this? Women are becoming way more choosy and sexually liberated so unless a man is an alpha male, which most are not, then there future is looking increasingly bleaker
@@tiffanywatson5474 lol, you really have no clue at all. You must be a feminist
Its many things:
1) the average worker is overworked and underpaid unless they are freelancers or in the STEM field
2) financial instability hits hard for men who have a need to always have their shyt together
3) social media destroys people's self worth because it always shows people lives through an ultrafiltered funhouse mirror which makes viewers feel like there's something wrong with them.
Solution
1) Encourage learning new skills.
2) Quit Social media
3) encourage self care and don't be ashamed for trying
4) Try what Sweden did: 32 hour work week which can do wonders for mental health and productivity.
I switched to 30 hours and found I was much more productive!
32 hours isn't enough to afford anything. I work 50 hours.
@@Zivety 32 hours with better pay. So the hourly pay offsets the decrease in hours worked
I did something similar, DeftRose. I was lucky to be good at STEM (the M) and that meant I could work for myself and earn more per hour while working fewer hours (compared to when I was in a corporate). I was on social media for about six months back in 2009... and never want to go back. Self care for me is hobbies, gym and watching funny cat videos on YT. 🙂
@@Zivety pay more per hour
I was raised in the 60's and at that time, at least in my family, the expectation was that I'd get married and have children. Nothing was talked about or encouraged in regards to a career path. Well, the rules changed. I was expected to support myself, not remain at home until I married. I had to scramble to find a career. My path was the military.
I recognized in the early 80's that women were thrown into a duel role that they quickly had to adapt to. Not only were they expected to work outside the home to contribute to family finances, they were also expected to continue following the traditional women's role in the home. Being the primary caretaker of children, the cook, housekeeper and everything that a traditional housewife would do. Men were not adapting or expected to change a thing. This is a generalization, I know, but overall that was the case. We/females were hearing slogans about how "You can do it all". Basically, you can work two full time jobs and husbands were still going to work, coming home and asking what's for dinner, mowing the lawn on weekends, taking the garbage out and keeping the cars clean.
Not a fair division of labor. I was of course also expected to be the one who took time off of work when the children were born or when they were sick and couldn't go to school or daycare. Paid less then my male co-workers doing the same exact job and at the same time expected to take on additonal responsibilities that they weren't.
Women adjusted, men didn't and now are being forced to. Also boys and men are much more addicted, for those that do play, to video games. It really is an addiction and it really does suck the life and motivation out of them.
All correct, and it often comes down to how your family raised you. Most men I know who are doing okay (40s-50s) whether single/married, were raised to be partners, splitting the workload at home & on the job, raising any kids together whether they stayed a couple or not. The women who are single-and-looking in that group tend to say they just want a guy who will carry their share of the load, logistically, financially, and emotionally.
My observation of younger adults (20s/30s) is that perversely, they carry more conservative ideas about what relationships ought to look like, with lots of preoccupation around who makes more and who will take care of the kids (if any). They talk of marriage as though it'll immediately require both parties to take on some rigid gender role. I see it more in straight/cishet folks, but have heard that stuff from some TG & NB people as well, which was wild to me. Reagan & Bush (W.) brainwashing folks decades later, I guess.
Okay boomer
@Klemheist Truth hurts! I'm Gen X. My mother did exactly what Coleen described. I decided that I would never marry, never have kids & only concentrate on getting good in STEM, so I wouldn't have to work 5 jobs at once for an arsehole who would cheat on me when he would reach his 40's. Tough luck, lazy bastards! She doesn't hate men, but I did and still do!
Dual (not duel) You are right. Women got the short end of the stick. At the same time expected to hold a full time job and still be responsible for the upkeep of the home, raising the children, cooking, laundry, etc. Men had it easy with one job and mowing the lawn on the weekends. In some countries, women resisted feminism for that very reason. They could see that American women just doubled their responsibility and it wasn't fair.
I don't agree that women are expected to work outside of the home though.
IMO its several factors:
1: Lack of father figures growing up due to upticks in divorce
2: Social media and being held to fantasy standards that are filtered (true for women too)
3: Smartphones and tech robbing boys of meaningful interpersonal friendships with real people in there lives. This boyhood friends can often become lifetime best friends.
4: The Education system and society valuing tradework as a less meaningful way to have a career, where many men are wired naturally to enjoy doing things with their hands. Example, many highschools no longer do shop class.
5: In most societies men have always been viewed as disposable. This has only gotten worse in the last couple decades. Social progress and equality is an achievement and important, but we cannot forget the men and boys of today just because their ancestors had an advantage in society.
This is all a load of bs. Smartphones don't rob anyone of interpersonal connections, they literally extend the range and availability of people you can create those connections with, and why would they be robbing boys specifically, and that's just on one of your points, I could go on all day about what's wrong with that last one
Measure it and publish. Sitting in an armchair spitballing doesn’t even approach the much lower evidentiary standards in the social sciences.
The men who are struggling are the one's believing tanning their ball's makes them more manly.
yeah, these are pretty accurate.
@@lexruptor Agree.
I started teaching HS in the mid-90's. The school had programs in Horticulture, Auto Repair, and one more profesion I've forgotten. Unfortunately, the 'everybody has to go to college to get a good job' fad hit and the programs were gone in a few years.
We teachers would ask whom they thought would be fixing our cars, replacing our poilers, etc. ..... The responses alternated between deflection and crickets. When we pointed out that not all HS graduates were both interested in and able to go to college, we were accused of being the "-ist" of the day.
HS teachers all over the US warned that the then available data pointed toward a shortage of repair people, plumbers, electricians, etc. starting around 2010. Time after time these state level educational administrators just laughed at us and told us we didn't understand.....
And here we are.
I can explain the lack of college enrollment in my area. We were told that if we didn't get a college education that we'd never amount to anything. Twenty years later and guys with a GED own their own businesses or are upper management in construction or fabrication while college grads are jockeying for a position in the culinary arts or are stuck in a dead end job with a big corporation, with no room to advance. We were lied to, so that the universities could make a quick buck when most businesses realized what you're willing to do is more valuable than what you're qualified to do.
I think a full university education has some advantages, but they aren't necessarily economic. For a great many people a vocational school is probably a better fit.
It seems like all the dumb people that I know have college education
Take it from me. I was the first in my immediate family to earn a BA degree. But what i did not understand is that one often need further specialization after a BA. Many more jobs related to my field required a Master's degree for advancement. I remember going to a meeting of alumni where there about 9 people from my graduating class. And like 6 of them were attorneys, or in law school. But another option is to find a completely different field, and then go back to school and specialize in the new field, and be a double degree person.
Take a long hard look at the lives of the majority of males with only a GED.Nothing to envy.
Bingo.
In most other countries, the minimum wage gets raised on a regular basis. Here in Australia, it's raised each year. Look at that as a reason why US ppl earn less.
i understand your point, but most jobs that are worth working pay above minimum wage, so increasing it probably won't make a big difference unless it's to like $25+ an hour, which is not going to happen any time soon
@@grantcanty7294 I can't understand how it can be acceptable that prices for utilities, food, clothes etc go up each year but the minimum wage doesn't. Also what does "worth working" mean? Fast food restaurants remained opened during our lockdown, as well as supermarkets. These are some of the lowest paid jobs but are essential. More essential than highly paid athletes, actors, etc. We under value the work that society requires in order to be efficient.
@@traceyholt8223 i’m not arguing that minimum wage shouldn’t go up. i'm stating that most jobs in the us are already paying above minimum wage, so raising minimum wage, unless it’s to a really high number like $25 for example, is probably not going to have a large effect. a lot of fast food jobs pay around $15 an hour, target (retail store) pays anywhere from $15-$24 an hour minimum, costco (grocery store) pays $17 an hour minimum. there are probably more examples, but i think it’s easy to see that min wage is well below what a lot of jobs are actually paying. by a job “worth working” i mean one that actually has a decent career path and where you’re not being exploited. no where did i say anything about essential jobs like fast food, retail, grocery stores, etc. i understand why it’s easy to interpret “a job worth working” as me talking down on those types of jobs, especially since they get a bad reputation, but that’s not what i meant. i worked a job in the kitchen of a restaurant for a year, and have a lot of respect for the people in these types of work. i hope that makes more sense what i was trying to say
I think the USA has this strange fascination with the “new American Dream” so have been conditioned to think it’s completely their own fault … they don’t need education (especially men) if they only worked harder, or smarter, better or longer etc they would be a billionaire like (insert name) but this is not realistic or common thing its a 1% game !! Or maybe a lotto win !!
Don’t get me wrong the 1% are smart work hard etc but 50% also do and they still never “make it” (whatever make it actually means lol)
Housing is also a problem too. We don't have enough of it in my area.
So, we have high rent prices. And a lot of vacancies for minimum wage jobs.
Because they can't pay the rent prices with it. So, they just get the same job somewhere else.
I wonder if the lack of jobs for men has anything to do with the fact that over half of the factories, mills, or any other companies that produce goods have gone over seas leaving a void in American economy. Also, Most of our family farms have been pushed out by commercial farming. And small businesses pushed out by corporations.
Maybe men should adapt like women.
@@jennifermcgoldrick6323 Rather than keep this attitude you should worry more about what happens when large numbers of men feel angry, left out, and have nothing better to do. This is what feeds militias, anti-government groups, and domestic terrorism. Try reading a book sometime.
My cousin is 22 and he just stays locked up in his room all day long. No ambition to do anything
That is sad. Do you know why he does not have so much ambition?
@@fij715 Because marraige and family are dead, and materialism is hollow. Fuck your society.
@@RedEverything Okay incel
@@fij715 MGTOW
@@RedEverything incel
I was just waiting for him to blame women for men having difficulties. I was glad to see that he didn't, however, the people in the comments missed that part. It is always put on us, everything wrong with the world. I am not going to stop pushing simply because men think my success is somehow detrimental to them.
I too was leery of the association that "men declining = women succeeding". He explicitly said it's not a zero-sum, but it's really disappointing that so many read this issue that way. Conservative patriarchy, the fall of unions, and the underfunding & overpolicing of K-12 school have a lot more impact on the fates of men than anything going on with women.
Attitude is almost more important than aptitude. I'm a woman who had a high school education that ultimately succeded in technology in corporate America. My attitude was, I can do it! Most men in my family had an attitude of, I dont have to work hard since my wife works, not sure if that was due to family dynamics or is endemic of the male population. I'm sure this study will send the right wing over the edge with fury at women!
You think everything is put on women??? What fantasy world are you living in? Everywhere I look, it's feminism, women's empowerment, woke culture, and overt misandry.
Yeah, its always women that get blamed for everything...🙄
@Mike you're wrong Mike. I asked her. You just weren't paying attention.
We already tried delaying the start of school for boys in the 90s, it's called red-shirting. It's something that's still practiced today, though not as widely. It didn't stop their behavioral problems or give schools more resources to deal with them. I'm surprised that anyone concerned with boys performance doesn't immediately get on teachers salaries and better public funding for schools so that teachers aren't spreading themselves too thin to be attentive to individualized learning.
we just keep throwing money at public schools that are failing and it doesn't help. they get more funding than private schools and accomplish less. it's not just schools . it's crappy parents who don't care or are too busy working , to care , it's lack of discipline in public schools as well.
We spend millions on teacher training and resources that gets wasted as it all changes the next year. More money for salaries and REAL student nutrition and more physical activities would create a more sane educational system for teachers and students. We work harder and harder and harder, but rarely smarter or healthier.
That isn't going to help much either. Most Americans need to work 1.5, 2 or more jobs to make ends meet, this dissolves the ability of parents to invest energy into assisting and guiding their children with their education. This effort is probably more pronounced in boys and adolescent men due to a hormone profile more prone to hyperactivity in youth.
@TheEvolver311 God, you're right it's so depressing. I feel like the only reason I exist anymore is to make money and pay bills.
Increasing teachers' salaries does absolutely nothing when teachers have no ability to discipline students who repeatedly disrupt class lessons. We could return authority to discipline to the teachers and the problems will reduce...but this will never happen.
The earning issues isn't a male specific one, that's across the board, people are being squeezed by employers to pad the cooperate profit margins. The higher mortality rate was also normal in past generation as well, there's a lot that needs to be done to help men redefine their role in society into one that's not some kind of hierarchally defined dominance of all others but as peers with women and non binary.
When it comes to development in childhood, a blanket policy of starting boys later is I suspect, too uniform. We need to spend a lot more energy on working with kids and teaching the students we have rather than forcing the kids to fit like widgets into a static assembly line system.
So maybe that means boys start academics a bit latter when their brains are up for it, but really it should be more like each student is allowed to follow their interests/noses over the year. They might have a basket of things that need to be covered but there's more than one way to learn a thing, and when they do should be decided by when they are engaged, not when a wrote system forces them to.
This means more teachers, who are paid more including for the prep work and one on one time needed. We spend billions on weapons but cheep out on education, that's just dumb.
Autocorrect really thought it knows better than I what word I wanted there...No, it's hierarchally not hysterically. fixed.
Both my brothers started their career much later than I did, because they wanted to waffle about in their early 20s. But now they’ve surpassed me economically and have good stable careers. I think you’re on to something with the later development aspect. Young men might seem flaky in their teens but give them time and encouragement, they will rise and improve!
One part of the problem is having children nearly an entire year apart studying the same curriculum. Breaking cohorts into semesters or trimesters would be a good start.
A bit out of touch
About your point about blanket statements. Seriously! He's just perpetrating ridiculous gender stereotypes. My nephew a year younger than I read way before me when he was in preschool. I'm cis female fyi. My husband who has a doctorate degree and is 32 years old, taught himself to read at the age of 3 and was so far ahead of his peers he had to skip ahead 2 classes. My brother had zero issues and read before school. My 3 nephews all started reading at the age of 3. The issue isn't sex, it's that our current society is set up so parents cannot spend the time with kids that they need to develop. I see it in both boys and girls who's parents don't take the time to read out loud to them from the time they can sit upright in thier arms. These boys aren't suffering from female equality. If they're suffering at all, and i suspect they're not because i think he's cooking the statistics to make it show what he wants it to, they're suffering because they live in a predatory capitalistic system meant to destroy both them and females as they suck every last penny out of them.
This male struggle seemed to emerge in Asia before it did in the states. Unless memory serves me poorly, I remember reading of the great concern in Japan and Korea over an emerging generation of males lacking ambition, content to spend countless hours playing computer games and watching pornography, while cocooned in their boyhood rooms (in the home they grew up in), and showing little interest in dating, much less getting married. And this portrait emerged more than a decade and a half ago.
agree 100%
The work culture is extreme in those countries. Plenty of youth watch their father's work themselves into an early grave supporting the family. Most are probably deciding they'd rather do anything but what their fathers did.
The answer may be in what's become the norm for men of recent generations that's making the men today say "no thanks"
Ok misandrist
I wish to be a full NEET too. Why live to work?
@@thetricksterpill gotta get that NEETbux my fren
In societies such as Germany a Craftsman is a respectable person, while in the US only rich people are respected. This undermines the spirit of young men. Jobs have moved to the far East and the only thing they feel good about is their truck.
so the nation with the most powerful central bank, military, Navy, Air Force, intelligence community, largest economy, most profitable corporations, best hospitals and universites "undermines the spirit of young men" ?
that's your thesis?
@@RobertMJohnson Your question may be the answer.
Emotional intelligence is not a touchy-feely thing about other people's feelings. It's the difference between being manly and a man-child. The man is always working on understanding his own emotions and reactions, and developing more productive responses to whatever challenges life (or his own mental health) throw at him. The man-child does not work on his emotional intelligence and blames others for his problems, then repeats unproductive patterns. It is much harder to have the self-discipline and motivation necessary to earn a good living if you have low emotional intelligence. Working on your emotional intelligence and mental health is crucial to becoming the man you really want to be.
Absolutely this.
Intelligence is the same as awareness?
@@MelaninMagdalene No.
I'd agree, but the term "emotional intelligence" is far too gay for me to take seriously.
@@edh2246
I didn’t think so. Emotional awareness it sounds like
I guess you have to buy the book. I listen to this whole segment and I still don’t understand what the problem is with men and boys. And except for a red coat I never heard any solution. I’m now 70 years old and I come from Ireland and when I was 15 I was on my own, wasn’t because I had a bad family had a very good family. In those days ( late 60s) in the UK 15-year-old would start their apprenticeship I went to sea in the Merchant navy.
It is my opinion that it is lead by women, women who say we are equal and we will define ourselves and we do not need men to provide or protect us. So a lot of boys escaped to front of their computers and create their own world and little change as the got older. In general for last 40 year the roles of men and women are changing, for a lot of men this is a real punch to their ego.
The scary thing is there are few creatures more dangerous than an uneducated white, Christian, conspiracy theorist’s with a gun.
I think the point is to bring the problem to light and start a conversation, I think the solution is complex and not something that would fit in a youtube video.
I’m not buying what he’s selling.
Average feminazi*
It's conspiracy, reports show that absolutely correct. He's economist he has data. He's a liberal too.
@@MauiMauiMe not everyone will ignore like U do.
Even Mr. Reeves danced around the fact that, over the past 30 years or so, in school, emphasis was placed on the girls to the detriment of the boys. Boys traditionally did better in science, math, and technology. Schools focused on raising girls' skills in those areas, but I don't recall emphasizing language arts skills for the boys. There were other issues as well.
Research has debunked the idea that boys and men are naturally better at STEM, they are socially conditioned to pursue those types of careers as a gender stereotype and for earnings potential. Girls and women are also socially conditioned to pursue careers in teaching, nursing, and other service roles because of gender stereotyping and since ‘women’s jobs’ have been chronically paid less, here we are. Men make great nurses and women make great engineers. We need to stop putting a gender box on any career and encourage all young people to pride what they really love. Also STEM is way overvalued and overpaid in our society, because tech has become our God. Writing, social studies and other ‘soft’ professions provide a much needed and well rounded balance and should be paid accordingly
@@down-to-earth-mystery-school It's not that they are better, it's that they are more interested in those subjects than the language arts subjects. If their interests are not encouraged in favor of encouraging the girls, they could fall behind. In the 1990's and 2000's, when my son was in school, the teachers pointedly encouraged the girls. It's not surprising that so many boys feel lost.
Women not having to depend on men for financial stability will make them less likely to care about their partner's education if anything. When they weren't allowed to have a career it would have made a lot more sense for women to be picky about their love interests financial prospects, but if a highly educated woman can provide for herself financially she can marry someone she actually loves and wants to spend time with. Sorry if this means you have to be kind and have a personality instead of just making money and it somehow entitling you to treat the woman of your choice as property.
This. The only time I cared about my late husband's income was when I was unemployed, and his job was ripping him off (promotion in workload, with no increase in pay). I think some guys project their own insecurities on women - any woman who really is only looking for a payday wouldn't even be talking to a "regular" dude with no money/ambition. Those girls are shopping at a different "store" entirely 😅
And be alone on their 40s
Women will not typically date down, when it comes to finances. Men will.
@@superRobertoist Women don't even say "date down" - that's a concept/term guys came up with. Every woman is different, but usually finances only come up when you're moving in together, or talking about getting married, having kids, etc.
Money doesn't generally come up in the initial dating "calculus" for us at all - you can do a lot of romantic strolls in the park, Netflix+chill dates, family BBQ, etc and most women will be grinning ear to ear.
@@mandisaw woman wont say because they dont do it. men DO NOT CARE HOW MUCH MONEY A WOMAN HAS. Woman ABSOLUTELY care how much money a man has. period
College is much, much more expensive than in the 1970s.
And wages haven't climbed at all. Rent is out of reach. The gap between rich and poor is the widest it's ever been. And the earth is dying lol
Yeah there are a lot of underlying economic factors involved here that should be discussed more.
Why would that affect males more than females?
Yeah no sh*t but since women make less
money than men this is a terrible point 🙄🙄🙄
@@randyevermore9323 Males are expected to give and provide while females are expected to receive. Even in relationships with unequal income, which gender is expected to provide?
Historically there is a strong correlation with social investment in the working class, which has been eviscerated by the 'smaller government' movement which has (ironically) been driven by mostly us men.
I don't agree.
Strong correlation between social investment in the working class and what? You didn’t complete the thought.
@Chad Abercrombie
That's pretty much the same thing that he said.
logical fallacy
There's a few things not mentioned that need to be. One major issue is the lack of focus on skilled jobs, such as mechanic, carpenter, and other trades. The focus has been on college as the only respectable route, and we presently have a large number of retirees who will be leaving skilled trade jobs but no one to replace them.
To be honest, a national promotion for job training and placement would be the best method.
and Second, I wholeheartedly disagree with a blanket "red shirting" policy. While boys may mature slower in terms of behavior, they are fully capable of learning. If a family decides to wait a year, that's fine but this should not be a policy.
In fact, a better strategy that would benefit all students is more activity in the course of their education. P.E. is not nearly enough. Students should be allowed to walk and read or to recite math skills while playing with legos, etc.
Movement is a vital part of what's missing. Since there's a lack of movement, boys are more prone than girls to act out, but I believe it's more social training than biology. Girls are often chastised far more harshly for jumping up and down than boys are.
Nevertheless, including more movement would give girls the freedom to move more joyfully without reprisal and boys would have that energy release as well.
This kind of change would lead to greater focus throughout the day. All the sitting still is decreasing oxygen circulation and mental clarity.
How would you know if it's social training or biology? You just want to believe that. You're attitude is part of the problem. You couldn't make it through a video on problems for boys without turning it back to whats best for girls.
I had never thought about the positive impact on men from the infrastructure bill. That's very interesting.
You mean printing trillions of dollars to spend on leftist pork has a positive side? Who knew?
But when will the work start. I've only heard of an electric heated sidewalk that cost 200 million being added in a very poor town in New Hampshire. Infrastructure isn't getting done.
That's one of its major selling points. And nowadays some of those jobs will be given to women who are part of the trades. I believe what we need is an attitude shift, the days of the need for a big strong man to fight off the saber tooth tiger so the little woman could stay home and take care of the babies it's long gone. I think everyone should be entitled to do a job that they enjoy and are capable of doing. But it seems a particularly after world war II when the GI Bill and has become common at the first time you meet someone after asking their name you ask what college they went to and their value will be determined not by their capabilities but by what school they went to. Many years ago I worked in a clinic and I remember one of the doctors who was a pediatric cardiologist complaining about how much his plumber cost.
there is no "positive effect on men" from a government bill.
I think one of the biggest reasons why this is happening doesn't really have anything to do with gender. As Reeves mentioned, it's a structural issue. It's all about household financial decisions particularly for young couples with multiple kids. The cost of childcare is so astronomically expensive that if the grandparents aren't around....then it becomes much cheaper for one parent to stay at home, while the other becomes the breadwinner. Back in the 50's, men made more money as manual labor was at a premium and the women raised the kids. Today's the economy is more knowledge and service based so the roles have reversed somewhat.
But most don’t have kids now a days
Meanwhile we have a shortage of mechanics, plumbers, construction and so on. These jobs were looked down upon when I was graduating high school back in the 90’s. They are good paid skilled jobs. It’s a shame society held their noses up too high to this. Meanwhile individuals who did not listen to this nonsense are likely doing well.
We live in a dog show.
This is what happens when the world acts like it doesn’t want you anymore
Not really. The world has acted like it didn't want many of us, and still, we persist and show up. We still seek joy and to contribute to our communities. You are wanted and needed - get out of your own head and volunteer! People will be happy to have you and you may even find some joy!
The thing that didn't change with "equality" in the workforce is equality with the chores that come with a home & children & family life. Married women still have all the same responsibilities of the '50's-AND a full time job & men are the ones struggling?
It is true that men cannot see dirt so any dirt that gets cleaned must be cleaned by the woman. Likewise are piles of unwashed dishes invisible to men. But men will run the lawnmower or the snowblower because that involves operating a machine which is palatable just so long as no actual stoop labor is involved which is why women must do all of the flower gardening. Men also find it difficult to take children seriously enough to demand that they behave themselves. I was a failure at teaching school because I would laugh at their antics up to and including outright criminality in the case of my ghetto teenaged high school students in Cleveland. I just found it impossible to take them seriously. I would also laugh at the women teachers who were horrified by their behavior. My supervisor at Job Corps wondered why I never kicked anyone out of my GED class. I told him it was because they had nothing to rebel against because being an ex-sailor I was even crazier than they were. I would literally tell them all the dirty jokes I learned aboard ship so then they would consult with me about their contraceptive failures which I found flattering. These kids were young adults so it wasn’t as perverted as you might assume the age group at Job Corps being 16-24. But I had a pass rate in the mid to high nineties. I quit anyway because I was going into work hungover all the time and even beat up several assaultive older boys. It finally came to me that there was no point in ever growing up so I quit and reverted to shipping out with the merchant marine instead of the navy. I get the impression that men won’t grow up unless society just gives them all of the high paying jobs. The merchant marine is high paying but only because everyone works incessantly while aboard ship or really 15 hours per week seven days a week for months on end. But it’s a fairly luxurious existence because the stewards department waits on you hand and foot when you’re on the mess decks getting fed.
Its called Adapt and Overcome. Women have done it...Men have not. I was a single mom. I worked my arse off. I have two grown college educated daughters. Both well traveled and working in lucrative careers. Neither has the desire to marry. They both say the dating pool of men in their mid 20's to 30's is bleak.
Single mom? Why did you choose that instead of being a wife to a husband worthy of you?
@@bauttiet.h.u.g.5900 He passed away...thats why
If you want to know the real risks of this situation go look up "Why Are Men in Crisis?" from Bill Maher. He has professor Scott Galloway from NYU explain it. Basically, men with no purpose are dangerous and if left unchecked it will be bad for everyone.
@@melissareece8656 i understand. Remarrying is difficult after that.
GIRL POWER IS VERY REAL.
it is the enormous gap now between wages and the cost of living. in 1979, my father didnt have a college degree, and was able to buy a nice 2 bedroom home on his own, with an average job, and pay his mortgage with one weeks pay. it takes 3 weeks of my pay to RENT a 1 bedroom apartment.
America is a horrible place to live now. People just don't want to admit it.
The persistent comparison of boys/men to girls/women as the examination of the deteriorating physical and psychological resilience of boys/men lacks depth. In few if any men's discussion about why we are not doing well we fail to adequately address two fundamental factors. The way boys and Men are socialised and the refusal to shift our social ideologies away from a neo-liberal economic ideology. It is our system of a narrow definition of masculinity that is killing boys and men. We are supposed to be successful but that success is not merit-based, it is mostly legacy based. This leads boys and men to feel isolated and alienated from other boys and men. The rage that emerges from this is then projected onto women, and other minority groups, but mostly we take it out non ourselves. As long as we have a system that values exclusivity, status and prestige, acquisition and competition boys and mens wellbeing will continue to deteriorate.
Best comment on the thread
Perhaps men are not satisfaction in social relationships and the materialism is no longer propping up their sense of self worth?
Good point
Maybe men should adapt to society and changing socialization and maybe you should stop assuming materialism which has been created by men is a “women’s” issue?
@@jennifermcgoldrick6323women are more materialistic than men it’s a fact
Anecdotally, I can say that my brother, the youngest and only male child, was supported far more than my sister and I in childhood. He was given private music lessons (us girls were not,) opportunities surrounding family scheduling to participate in sports (scheduling adjustments so us girls could participate in sports were deemed “impossible,”) later he was bailed out of jail, allowed to do so much more socially (i.e. have a girlfriend when dating was out of the question for the girls, have a job when girls were not allowed…) He was financially supported out of high school and while we all 3 went to college, he was not required to make his own way after graduating, which I think was a critical error on my parents’ part. My sister and I spent our early to mid 20’s very poor, eating only rice or noodles, and living in very cheap apartments in bad neighborhoods barely scraping by. We learned what it was like to be hungry and we worked our way out of it…while our brother just skated along being bailed out left and right.
We are all in our 50’s now. Brother has a drinking problem which began when he was 12. He has a job which pays well, and a daughter and ex wife. He and his ex wife are terrible parents, just let their daughter do whatever and then bitch about how she misbehaves all of the time…he seems to have never grown up all the way…and it is most likely at least partly because everything in his life has come relatively easy so that when he has a challenge he just gives up. He has turned into quite the misogynist, blaming women for his failures rather than his own lack of effort because he does not have a clue about the road blocks women have to maneuver to get to where he has professionally by simply learning his job and doing it consistently.
It is infuriating.
hey hun dont let him get you down. Our future is brighter! =)
I’m sorry about your experience and feel lucky that my family didn’t have these issues.
@@GIRLRAZR yeah, my brother doesn’t get me down. I rarely talk to him. He is very difficult for me to get along with, being drunk a lot of the time as he is. I have a great life. Loads of people can see he is wasting his, which is sad, but there is nothing I can do about that.🤷🏻♀️My point was really that sometimes it is the misogynistic attitudes of society in general which has coddled boys into the idea that things will just come to them without having to actually learn hard life lessons in a timely fashion. I have a cousin who fits the same description as my brother, and has the same problems. His sisters have done very well for themselves in their chosen fields.
Wow this man hating thing even goes into hating the men in your family. What a mind job!!!
I must admit, I am a lazy guy didn't do as much as I should, e.g. I didn't finish my degree. And my siblings, are disappointed, my work life is ok, but I don't react well to weird situations.
I want to do more but feel limited, as I get older I don't bother with anything, no relationships, and I don't drink or smoke. I prefer to be along.
It's pretty obvious that letting young men or young people in general, "figure" it out on their own isn't working for a large portion of the population.
what's your solution then?
@@grantcanty7294 Good Question. If you look at this problem like you would an engineering problem, it's a TOTAL mess. In an engineering sense, you might as well knock down the whole structure and start from scratch. At minimum, I think any solution will require a profound change within the school system, public and private alike. Mental health needs to be monitored as you progress through school. The way young boys socialize needs to be re structured in school. The overall problem is raising a child that can participate in society and that starts with a functioning family, which is something the gov can't do much about. I am a cynical person and I don't see much changing on this issue. I do see more money being spent, but with limited results.
@@johnstibal2131seeing is believing 🤓 🖕
All talk, no real questions no real answers
A good part of the problem is that group identity politics has us focused on trying to engineer outcomes for particular categories of persons (male v female, etc), and you can't do that without creating inequities and an overall adversarial system. If the problem you're facing is men being given preferential treatment, the solution is not to start giving preferential treatment to women; it's to end gender-based preferential treatment altogether. You accomplish that by treating people as individuals rather than as members of groups (class, gender, etc).
See, when preferential treatment was aimed at (primarily white) boys and men for centuries, we didn't all of the sudden start giving preferential treatment to girls and women. We *tried* just to get to equality. But, we're still at .78 to a dollar that men make doing the same work. And that's the best possible scenario - only white women make that much. If you're a black woman, *today in 2022*, you're making .55 to the dollar of a white man. People call it "identity politics" to dismiss the reality that in fact, sexism and racism are costly for those who live through it. The data is the data.
Should we all receive the education and opportunities that are best for each of us? YES! Absolutely. Regardless of what "categories" others see us in. We're not living in Utopia yet, though, so real effort is needed. And be assured, achieving true equality requires hard, persistent work. What you see as "preferential" now is just marginalized groups trying to catch up.
Hmm. Not going to agree w your hot take. Imagine if men not only had to (suffer) living equal to women, but then take that down another notch.
Men would implode.
Honestly, I think there are many mature men I have a lot of respect for. But there are way way more that outwardly hate women getting more opportunities. So yea, I can't really feel bad if I am being honest. As a female special operations veteran, I'm not super interested in your emotions on this.
@@advocacynaccountablity the wage gap has been disproven. That gap exists only because men work longer hours than women. Side by side actually men and women make the same. Perhaps you should be standing up and for women to work longer days?
@@advocacynaccountablity This fight has been won. There are laws against this. I have been in charge of hiring, etc. Do you realize how much trouble a company would be in for doing this???? You don't think employees talk about what they are making? Gosh, I don't know how I got to be manager, picked over white men with the same license as me. Must have been a f**king miracle.
@@advocacynaccountablity you might want to rethink this. Having somebody work to provide for your every need is far from getting the bad end. Quite the opposite in fact
My friends in high school did not experience that. I would argue that early guidance throughout the school years at home and at school would give children a clear picture of what to expect. Vocational training would also help. The role of education in preparing you for the future, children need to see that.
Yes, if their parents are not there to guide and support them, quality education and its availability would still not matter. I came from a country who could care less about educating its people properly and even with parents being involved and actually working their ass off to pay for their kids education, the country is still failing. So after more than 30 years since I've chosen to settle here in the US, the country is still a basket case in terms of economic problems and civil discourse. Most Americans just don't realize how lucky they are to be living in this great country. Both Government and the people should have a symbiotic relationship to make our Democracy work.
they teach young boys that they are women by the age of 16
@@TheMangoAnglo_onTwitter no “they” don’t, whoever “they” is. Don’t know where you currently go to school but it isn’t in any US school 🤣
@@obbie1osias467 parents were barely there to begin with it's only now that you can't just find a job to work as long as you like and still be able to save and afford things... Now you better know what you want to be and what you need to get there or you gonna work a job you can barely exist on. Really these jobs should just disappear there are no disposable jobs or people.
@@lpk6372 well that simply isn't true. The reason the federal reserve tries to maintain 5% unemployment is because the capitalist class requires the working class to maintain a constant level of anxiety and to accept the lowest wage possible for their work.
Sounds like the modern male is getting a taste of a fraction of what women had /have to deal with. At least they can get a loan without their fathers signature .
True, but two wrongs don’t make a right.
No, because back them Men didn't still expect women to pay for everything even though men were making more. Men are still expected to act like a MAN even though they're experiencing depression and suicide at a much greater amount than women.
Ah, an advocate for revenge from the old ways that modern men had nothing to do with . The Patriarchy is strong with you. You probably think men can raise children too. Yes. Revenge will help our society. I hope you do not have male children, if so, I feel sorry for them.
Black men have been facing hell for generations.
@@gabbsdy8741You mean kind of like how women blame men for everything that's wrong? 🤔
Looking at myself at 77, boys need more time to get serious. I doubled the 2nd high school class twice at 14 & 15 years and they kicked me out of school. Fortunately my parents found another school, who was prepared to give me a 3rd chance. My father showed me the Galvanization Department, where I would have to work, if I failed again! That was the moment I got serious. I finished high school with good notes and went to college to learn about electrical engineering and finished it, passing all tests without issues. I had a nice career and in the end my monthly salary was written with 5 digits.
I dont understand your gibberish.
Friendly old Brit: We both benefited from wise parenting harking back to the day when failing meant laboring or menial work for life. I was taken to a local coal mine in the early fifties and given the same message as we watched weary miners head home.
Very good, Bert. Well done. 🙂
@@ChosenOne6666 *don’t
@@titteryenot4524 No one likes a grammar troll.
The vocational trades are the big thing for young folks nowadays! Unless you are going to college for a degree in a STEM field don’t even waste the time and money! HVAC and machine shop technicians are making way more money starting out than some newly graduated history major!
I opted for the welding\fabrication degree. Made more than some of my friends who attended college. Retired earlier too.
I went to college and got a good job with a private corporation. My sister drove a bus for a school district most of her life. In the last 2 years of her career she was a supervisor. She gets a $62K per year pension plus Social Security and I get no pension at all. Should have spent my life driving a &%$#ing bus for a unionized school district.
Big Tex That speaks more for unions than type of job.
@@bigtex4058 Agree! This wage thing isn't a man/woman thing its about living wages and unions!
And you'll end up with a society that has no critical thinking skills, no literary and historical scholarship, no museums, nobody who knows foreign/ancient cultures and civilizations. What will you do with your money? Buy more crap?
25% of all males under the age of 30 have a criminal record. Income inequality and over policing created a culture of despair.
Gotta love those Broken Window policies! 🙄
So, it's stopping crime, rather than letting "boys be boys", that is the problem? Sounds more like boys, who were never told "no", that is the actual problem.
this is another layer no one is talking about. the government imported the 3rd world and theyre not here to work a dead end job
I’m going to be honest, ever since I was a little a girl the boys would kid around while the girls excelled in their classes. The girls had all types of personalities and they still had good grades. I think we should be more diligent with boys growing up and teach them that effort is required to be successful in life. You can’t expect to have everything handed to you.
I teach at a public elementary, I agree with you that values not taught at home must be taught in school. I don’t agree it’s a boy girl issue. This school readiness should be considered case by case regardless of gender on birth certificate.
Plot twist : she went to an all girl school
It's because female public school teachers systematically put down boys
👌🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾Of all the comments here, rhis one is the actual genesis of the problem.
This is it. All of the other tedious responses sound sophisticated but are way off the mark.
GIRL POWER IS REAL!
They are not struggling, just resigning.
“ … adjusting to a new world of equality… “ about sums it up.
Maybe there are some good points. But women were never coddled or babied. And it is not their fault men want to cop out. I was born in a family of 15 kids- yes they all lived. My husband died when I was 24 leaving me with 2 toddlers, I was desperate and did not even have a HS education. I went to mill after mill as that is all our town had. They all said the same thing. Who do you think you are? We hire men who need to take care of families. I said I was a widow with children. They said we only hire men. So In 1978 I studied encyclopedias to get my GED then I went on and applied to college. I was accepted but would have to take some HS level classes. I did. I did not have a babysitter. I took my kids to college with me. The school was all men except for a secretarial pool and that is what they called it. I worked the graveyard as a waitress. Sleep and food were not part of my daily activities. Men came in all the time and wanted sex, they would even pay for it! So lets start with the problem of being a spoiled brat boy that expects everything to be handed to them. Maybe the problem is they are not used to having to make it on their own. College wasn't easy for me. I nearly flunked out. I did not have the option to give up. Maybe men need to come to that too. Just buck up and stop whining. Life is hard then we die. 5 years of suffering led to a great career and real life and since my kids went to college with me, they grew up assuming they would go to college too. I am the only girl in my family to do this. I have one brother who also went to college, on a bunch of scholarships. Not me. He asked me how I did it. I bucked up. Men and boys you can too. Don't waste your life feeling sorry for yourself. Go live it while you are here on the planet.
OK boomer
Imagine what will happen in the United States with the rapid advancement in AI technology that the US is failing to address. Many workers will be replaced by machines. Machines capable of working 24 hours a day, requiring no breaks, no benefits and no salary. European countries are trying to prepare for this. Seeking solutions to an impending issue we will all have to face. The US isn’t even talking about it. That’s a big mistake IMO
My 80yo father talks to me about it because he reads a lot and is curious. But you're right, our political leaders don't dare bring up such doom and gloom - unless they can blame the other team for it. We've learned from climate change that the majority of Americans don't want to take preventative measures, preferring to disbelieve the evidence and shoot the messenger. Sadly.
Presumably this kind of flare up of a divisive topic where most people have an opinion on is related to the advancement in technology, in the form of a distraction. Maybe it makes sense though, as technology to replace labour on a grand scale isn't here yet and as soon as you start to tell people their jobs are useless they want to get paid for nothing or lose interest.
I personally hope that one day people can do a 'job' like people go to fitness centers today to get exercise -- once upon a time there was no need for this as you'd be doing this to survive, but now people who want to do this do it because they can.
I have several female friends with one or more graduate and post-graduate degrees who are in long-term committed relationships or married to men whose profession is farming or manufacturing or tradesman (plumber, mason, mechanic) etc. They love their men. Not every woman wants to date the same ilk of men they are competing with in corporate or academic life. Leaving that whole culture when you come home can be a very refreshing thing. Many women LOVE men who work with their hands. Men who can MAKE and REPAIR tangible things.
Also, why do people think you need a formal college education in order to be an intelligent life-long learner, or well-read, or well-informed; socially and culturally sophisticated? My friend's husbands and boyfriends are able to keep up and converse on a wide variety of subjects when they socialize with their college-educated colleagues. A college education is not mandatory for a man to have high EQ, a great personality or be a good lover and excellent co-parent. A college education has no preventative power to make a man not be a leech or misogynist and/or abusive or emotionally immature or not have mama issues, not have dangerous mental health problems, or addictions or lack of a life purpose or zero self-sufficiency and inability to contribute to a household.
Those are the things that are most important.
THIS! I know people from high school that weren't academically proficient and cut out for 9-5 white collar office jobs, but they still made good money in blue collar jobs and travelled the world with that and have long-lived relationships...
Cause men are used that’s why women love it because it benefits them
One of the best things that ever happened to me in school was being held back in the 3rd grade. For some reason that is no longer an option. Currently I'm a disabled IT tech with an Associates married to a teacher with a Masters.
Holding students back a year, like giving failing grades, was deemed too emotionally damaging. Unfortunately instead we've taken away those warning signs, so parents & students fly through the system, blissfully unaware that they aren't learning sh*t. Then once they get to upper HS, or enter college, they hit a wall based on lack of study skills, self-care, and foundational knowledge.
It's hitting girls as well, but due to socio-cultural factors, girls are more likely to "keep up appearances" by still doing their work, while suffering/neglecting other aspects of their life (emotional, social, self-fulfillment, etc). When boys/men struggle, their whole lives fall apart.
Strange. I work in public school and I know students who have repeated a grade. Why do you think it is not an option?
@@agathac6187 Depends on the district. Also the avg household income & ethnicity/background of the students. Have a lot of educators in my family, and the grade-advancement policies seem to vary depending on whether the parents are likely to complain.
He's assuming all women want to marry the rich guy 🤦♀️... That's kinda sexist. I have multiple degrees and my partner didn't go to college, but has a great job, benefits, pension and makes more money than most people with a degree. So I think he has a very unfair view on what is considered being successful and how love works 🙄
@agathac6187 I guess it depends on what state because I have a friend that's a teacher and she is NOT allowed to fail students. I think it started with no child left behind by George Bush. They cannot fail students for the same reason the original poster mentioned. This is all apart of that every kid gets a trophy.. things like this really damaged our society as a whole. We have a bunch of entitled, illiterate jerks walking around demanding everything abs understanding nothing.
One party is stuck in a sense of correctness and the other is stuck in the past.
I have a PhD in biochemistry and 22 years experience and I've laid off for 8 months. Life is getting worse.
You got this, the worst of it is feeling alone or feeling like you’re the only one that feels like this, you’re not you got this💪🏾
Also, it's nice seeing somebody care so much about Boyz II Men.
Your comment is truly _The End of the Road_
@@hellbenderdesign It was an exhausting trip, I'm Down on Bended Knee catching my breath.
I'm going to chalk it up to a lack of discipline, and mission focus. I was born with nothing, raised by Lesbians and I am doing better than most of my male friends imo.
They may have nicer, more expensive homes and a wife but they have all the debt and obligation that goes with it.
I own everything I need to live comfortably for the next 20-30 years (if I ignore maintenence) with 100% equity and 0% debt. No fancy education, no credit, just hard work for low pay and the discipline to not spend cash unless it was to make more cash.
I used Abraham Lincoln's strategy for working men to escape poverty . . . "The prudent, penniless beginner in the world, labors for wages awhile, saves a surplus with which to buy tools or land, for himself; then labors on his own account another while, and at length hires another new beginner to help him. This, say its advocates, is free labor---the just and generous, and prosperous system, which opens the way for all---gives hope to all, and energy, and progress, and improvement of condition to all." The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume III
I think it because they were born in to proper families and I was born free, so I am more motivated to prevent being tamed.
All that being said, I am jealous of them because they have purpose and they are jealous of me because I have freedom. I think the only difference between us is I know the grass is the exact same shade of green on both sides of the fence.
That's your experience and it is irrelevant compared to the real data.The world doesn't revolve around it
@@triplebeans4159 Well it would be hard for me to describe someone else's experience, but thanks for the feedback nonetheless.
What if men took on more responsibility for raising children and housework? That would be a huge plus for many women looking for a mate.
What if women did the job that they're the best at and biologically designed for?
@@timmorris171 which is apparently putting sad little men like you out of work. 😂 Cope harder loser.
@@timmorris171 What if you found out that women are biologically designed for and are best at intelligence, resilience, stamina, emotional maturity and stability, and for having fun in life? Would you tell men not to do those things?
This is a roundabout way to acknowledging that patriarchy harms men and women.
Men were not “unfairly advantaged” we were simply being paid on merit instead of identity.
Trickle down economics, corporate monopolies, military industrial complex, drugs, alcohol, hopelessness. People in general have become disposable.
I admire a lot of men who have chosen to stay at home and be full-time dads. It is not easy, and in some families it works well. It is the ultimate sacrifice to raise your family full time. House Husbands need to understand just as much as housewives, that your partner cannot make the money that they do, and pay the bills or mortgage without you. Just remember that everybody's job is important- especially yours.
You have no idea what you're talking about.
House husband are some of most disrespectful people on earth by choice.
@@triplebeans4159 the f*** I don't. You're an angry little man. And I stress little.
@@JaneDoe-em7zi I repeat you don't know what you're talking about.One of the reasons men and boys are struggling is taking advice from women who think they know anything about masculinity.We need more male role models so that we don't have to read nonsense like this.
Lol, stay at home dads get cheated on by their wife's with more masculine/alpha men.
It should never be one or the other. Like it or not, we're all in this world together and there needs to be balance.
The over-emphasis on college and the denigration of trade jobs has begun to really affect men in general. I can't work in a lot of trade jobs due to health issues, but I am trained and certified in IT, but yet I have so many employers I apply to who still demand a college degree for their entry-level jobs. Going to college for a crappy degree was probably the biggest waste of my time and money, since I had learned nothing meaningful from the education that I couldn't otherwise receive for free online. I do not regret dropping out (family crisis factored into that), but sometimes I do think about going back to do a comp-sci degree.
Some other issues I am aware of that I will no doubt get criticized or downvoted about are as follows. I am not familiar enough with LGBTQ men to be able to weigh in on gender-related issues they face, thus the following explanations will be from a straight male lens:
Men have long been taught by society that showing emotion or vulnerability is considered "effeminate" or not manly. Men are generally conditioned to be emotionally cold and dense, even when they are undergoing great pain.
Men are also viewed as disposable, such as the Selective Service System only imposing its mandatory registration on men. While it's still highly doubtful we'll ever have a draft, the point still stands.
Men are also treated with a great deal of suspicion and unease from women (rightfully so in many cases, but _not all_ men), thus they have a long upward hill to climb to be able to enter any kind of serious relationship with a woman due to that, while women do not. As an example, dating apps feature this paradigm all the time in that men's profiles are basically invisible, rarely getting any hits from anyone, whilst women's profiles are constantly bombarded by desperate men, albeit often for malign reasons.
Domestic abuse/violence, sexual assault, rape, and other crimes are usually investigated on the presumption that the male is guilty before proven innocent (even if they are the victim). Yes men still form the majority in those statistics, but women do these things too. But as always, even if the male is not the perpetrator, they are still considered guilty before proven innocent, and the innocent part often comes after a long, hard legal battle to even try to restore some dignity. And that is even before we factor in false accusations...
BIPOC men are dealt the harshest hand of all, in that they have to deal with the above issues as well as racial inequity and division.
I think all the issues you e raised are 100 percent valid. Actually, your disquisition is well crafted.
Here's a thought that reduces your thesis to it's most basic substance:
Women can wear skirts, dresses and trousers. No questions. Men can wear trousers. Period.
There's always a need for trade jobs but men don't seem interested. Who's at fault? I've encouraged every young male relative to get some skill and they just don't want to focus on it. So they struggle. Who's fault is that?
@@janedoe1146 That'll be their fault lol.
Still doesn't represent the entire male demographic at all though.
you on point, man 👍you should see a recent video from one of Trevor Noah's Daily Show Behind-the-Scenes segments where he discussed about male intimacy that isn't just about sex and how it affects men in america. long story short: strong men do cry, and they don't want sex all the time, even a simple hug or a shoulder to lean on is all they want, but the 'powers that be' of the modern patriarch system say otherwise because they're stupid. prolly because they were never hugged as kids.
Hell, we are in the most politically and racially unstable era since Jim Crow. Throw social media in the mix, is like throwing Jet fuel on a napalm fire.
It is about parenting, which is a full time job and most parents give up and use a tv or video games as a substitute parent.
Well that's entirely untrue. Are you a parent?
Maybe if you’re a super controlling parent that plans and forces a chosen future on your kids and don’t let them watch tv or play games, you can temporarily avoid some of these issues. But they’ll either grow to despise you or gain free will at some point, and when you don’t hear much from them you won’t know why.
The real root cause is the structure of society. Even the devil used to be an angel.
We cannot discount video games. So many young men prefer the dopamine rush of video games over having a job, having sex with a real women, pair bonding, getting an education. We know this because millions of men say this themselves. Real life can't compare to the rush they get from gaming.
Speak for yourself 🤓 🖕
I was paying attention to my nephews high school graduation guest speaker and noticed something. She spoke at length about how girls can achieve success, girls can break through barriers, girls can do what they put their mind to, girls can overcome anything in their path, but never once did I hear her speak in a gender neutral, or address anything towards boys.
She was speaking to a graduation class which was 70-75% male.
This is the problem with society. Where are people speaking to the boys with such positive messages. I find a lack of overall support in society as a whole for boys with positive messages. Sadly, if you try to be positive about boys, the feminists come out asking what about girls? They don't realize having positive messages to boys actually helps girls in the long run as well.
This is a male problem because this is the by product of the institution's we have decided to uphold. The policies that MEN have put in place in this country has shaped that. That is why MEN do not make what their fathers used to make, and why they do not have what their fathers had.This is a problem for MEN, because MEN created it, and they are still voting to keep it in place. Men need to remember that majority of them have never really been shown to fix what is causing the problem. They have been shown to distract with new ventures that will give them more problems to deal with. This remind me a bit of the Tucker segment about men a few months back. This is the toxic man.
Victim blaming *
The plumber/mason/carpenter/artisan/ditch-digger you talk about was my father who married my mother, a nurse, back in 1953. It's not always about advancing your position - if someone goes into a marriage with certain expectations, they're bound to be disappointed. Maybe we should instead think about the goal of marriage instead of its meaning.
In the UK around 2000s there were many discussions about males falling behind academically in all groups and great ‘concern’ of course but women have only recently been able to compete on equal ground. And, once again we get the ‘boys develop later’ argument. 🙄
unfortunately with all the push to get woman on equal footing, boys/men were an after thought & were left behind.
Female students receive 10% better grades (on average) for the same work. Male students are graded much more harshly. I can’t believe this stat isn’t ever discussed.
This assumes that the cause of the increased overdoses, suicides and alcohol related illnesses are due to structural economic factors and levels of education. But it needs to go deeper. Why are our boys and men failing to cope with the life struggles and instead turn to alcohol or drugs, or suicide? Those are all coping mechanisms for deep emotional struggles. It’s more socially acceptable for a boy or man to be angry than to express another emotion. But eventually that anger is so strong that they turn to alcohol or drugs to mask the internal pain, and/or they feel hopeless and take their lives.
Teaching boys and men that emotions, all emotions, are NORMAL and healthy is key. Men and boys need access to mental health supports and a society that encourages social emotional well-being. Providing mental health supports to parents, and helping them to raise emotionally healthy children is the long term way out.
The current trend in society that stokes fear, anger and division is making things worse.
This is a huge part of the problem. Emotional struggles, depression/anxiety, substance abuse - these are all massive obstacles to pursuing & maintaining education, career, family, etc. And the message that "boys don't feel" starts way early, even before kids start school - same as the sh*tty messages girls get. Basically we're ruining the next generation, and may already have screwed the current 20-something set.
"It’s more socially acceptable for a boy or man to be angry than to express another emotion."
Actually, it's not - any more. Boys - and even grown men - physically fighting (be it boxing matches or bar fights) was pretty normal in the past but is viewed as unacceptable these days. I'm not saying I want people fighting in the streets, but I think the lack of a physical outlet for these kinds of emotions might well be part of the problem.
Who’s stopping them? They have the same access as all of us, just book a therapy session.
Wages have been frozen since the 70s , median wages are still 31,133 yearly, and only the top 15% have seen a wage increase. Unlike the 70s and before, you have to take on a mountain of debt if you want to go to college. All done in the name of giving a tax cut to millionaires. Not having these things means not starting a family for most men.
The methods of the education system are the same that they have been for centuries, to which men have significantly contributed and on which civilization is founded: speaking, listening, reading and writing. Men have had privileged access to education for ages, and now that the playing field has been leveled and girls are excelling, but this still doesn't translate to better jobs and equal pay, all of a sudden the education system is a problem?
You have equal pay? Women earn the same as men for the exact same job..
@@zephyrus3554 Not everywhere in the world they don't. And even in the USA when the wage is negotiable women still often get paid less for the same position.
Why it always turns into women's problem when we talk about men ?
@@narendrasomawat5978 That comment was predictable. Im not denying the problem, but the explanation for it.
@@aligensa ya but we're not talking about Qatar or saudi Arabia we talking about usa.
I'm so glad you are covering this subject. I could add some more insight i haven't heard you discuss. I am one of 9 children. Only 3 girls. I had two brothers pass at young ages 55. 59. And very much feel they felt as your book describes. I am the only one with a college degree and the oldest but didn't get this degree a bachelors till 39 yr old. Sometimes I feel my living brothers kinda resent it. But oh well I'm not the problem they perceive. Politically they perceive the lack of jobs in manufacturing in very narrow views. I think the greatest thing we can do is give t hem these infrastructure jobs and assist them t get vocational training hands on and into the jobs that exist today. Robotics, building. Electricians, etc. To boost their self esteem before they loose life. And of course for those who are college material some free college assistance for anyone starting out maybe first couple years.
They are victims of capitalism. Humans today are denied the right to food and resources unless we rent our bodies to other humans who have hoarded all of the resources. These elite humans with a need for ever increasing growth called profits, deny more humans the right to natural resources by not renting them and increasing workloads for the rented. We shouldn't blame the victim when we have people with master degrees working in fast food. Think about it, a modern human must be educated in order to eat?!! That is insane! There should be a floor below which no human should be allowed to fall. A UBI is needed to fairly distribute resources. A human could then earn additional money by working or competing in the private sector or working at a Citizen owned company, funded by the government to directly compete with private companies. The money addicted must be brought to heel!
Great comments. I agree completely. The trades offer fantastic jobs but for some reason the word isn’t getting out. My state has always had a very strong technical college network. Maybe most states have not invested in tech colleges. I have multiple high tech post graduate degrees and have always had endless well paying jobs to choose from. Most folks don’t like college like I did. For many good reasons. One of my best buddies, who I first met whitewater kayaking, is a heavy equipment operator. He went to tech school out of high school and strategically got an apprenticeship with the country’s top electrical utility union - the guys who lay down our nation’s electrical infrastructure. The guys with the expertise who come from all over the northern states to rescue the southern states during hurricane and tornado devastation. The south essentially has minimum wage ($15-$20) untrained, uncertified workers who know how to do one thing kinda sorta. They have no idea how to get a devastated 20 county wide electrical grid back in operation. And in record time. My buddy is certified to operate just about any heavy equipment made on earth - except the worlds largest cranes - all 4 of them. He runs equipment that drills small cable tunnels underground, that go under lakes and wetlands and pops up a couple miles away on the other shore. While steering it around underground obstructions. It’s like harnessing a huge borrowing snake. He could easily make $200,000+ annually but he prioritizes spending a lot of free time whitewater kayaking, surfing and backcountry skiing. I also know a few young plumbers and regular electricians who went to tech school out of high school. They will soon be making $100k a year. They don’t have the incredible flexibility of my kayaking buddy but that’s a damn good living. One of my kids chose not to go to college - she graduated high school at 17 with full honors and took every AP course available. She entered a 2-year tech college surgical technician program and finished in 1 year. She passed out of all the 1st year prerequisites. She’s 20-years-old, looks 17 and is already making $80k with full benefits. She has already assisted in almost every type of surgery except transplants and brain/neurology. She needs more certs and training for those. Men who dislike the traditional college route should really check out good tech schools. An added benefit is that they are highly subsidized by state and federal programs so tuition is cheap.
I think this conversation is identifying the issues on a superficial level because citing a shortage of opportunities in the skilled labor workforce, in the presence of booming technical and engineering c career paths implies that men can only employ and thrive in physically laborious workforces. It's almost to insinuate that men aren't good in academic professions or careers that are primarily intellectually stimulating.
Perhaps I am thinking too much into it, but the American education system was initially instituted to educate boys; girls weren't initially the intended audience for education - so to make the sentiment that modern education isn't beneficial to men causes me to question whether this sentiment is prevalent because girls and women are legally able to co-exist with men.
And to cite the lack of manual labor/manufacturing profressions as a reason for male discontintment seems juvenile when so many other industries are being created and almost all professions are male led and dominated.
In my observation, I don't think the changing educational and occupational landscape is the cause for male discontintment, I think its more the fact that as more women become educated and financially stable, less women are willing to accept the bare minimum from men, or are less willing to date or socialize with mean spirited, abusive or otherwise undesirable men.
I think female rejection due to higher standards and women having access to more resources are affecting the self worth of modern men, especially as they compare their lives to that of their fathers and grandfathers, and this is the actual reason for the high unfullfillment sentiment, low achievement and low self esteem of 'modern men'.
@@MzVickyLynne You are well meaning but are extraordinarily myopic due to recent gibberish perpetrated by “feminism” when it comes to boys and men. I am one of those men highly educated from some of America’s largest research universities. I have advanced degrees in computer science, space science (satellite remote sensing) and biology (in particular northern forested mega-ecosystems and disturbance through millennia since the last ice age). Our early research teams predicted global warming decades before “climate change” became a thing to the average citizen. Virtually all of society’s problems involving underachieving males and females - witness the tens of thousands of nasty daughters spreading their obese butts in Tik Tok, Only Fans and elsewhere - comes from one source. Single mothers who have no clue how to raise successful sons and daughters. While single mothers are impeding and destroying the lives of their sons early in life they are often doing the same to their daughters. In one short decade from now - the 2030’s - fully 50% of women aged 25 to 35 will never get married and will never have children. Why? Because they are toxic to today’s men and where marriage for men only has negatives. Men are rejecting long term relationships with American women. Societies do not last under such toxic relationships and such low birth rates. BTW I have 4 very successful happy sons (2) and daughters (2). I once considered myself a feminist. A couple decades ago. I had a very hard working mom and sisters. Feminism today is a verifiable hate group. As demonstrated by your deluded and toxic comments. The sad thing is you don’t recognize your hate and misandry. You are absolutely clueless of them. Kind of sad. It’s even sadder if someone with your POV has sons. Let’s hope you don’t.
I think that’s the biggest thing for a lot of people - it’s the economic difficulty of getting in debt in order to get educated then once you get your degree, having to pay off that debt and feel stressed. If we had federal student debt relief, so many more people could get an education and actually affect the US economy in an impactful meaningful way
Unbridled capitalism is the reason why most people are getting poorer and poorer. The wealth is being concentrated in a tiny percentage of the population.
Just so we're clear. USA have to bring in students for graduate STEM and medical fields because American men are not filling those roles. I read some at least 30% of the doctors in the USA are foreign born. Nothing wrong with that. Just pointing it out.
I am a young woman with a STEM degree but no one wants to hire me even for jobs I'm qualified for. So I don't understand what all the fuss is about.
@@az-tl3mh There are lots and lots of jobs if you're not restricted to a geographical area unfortunately.
@@grtinfulleffect8349 I've tried applying for jobs outside my state, even on the other side of the country but unfortunately it seems no one will interview or hire unless you already live nearby. And I just don't have the means to do that, financially or socially.
They are freaking clueless, I was working full time at a sleep clinic going to school full time and volunteering at the VA. I was wanting to go to med school and when I went to the school counselor to get my classes in order the councilor told me “you’re a white male, that’s going to make it very difficult to get accepted at our school (University of Utah). I asked why and was told the administration is pushing for more diversity specifically for more Asian people and women to be accepted…after that meeting I said screw it it’s not worth it if I’m going to work my butt off just to be told the school wants more diversity so you’ll likely not be accepted. That’s why males are not going to school anymore.
I have a friend who told me the exact same thing about the Univ of Utah. This was 20 years ago.
The suggestion that boys start school a year later than girls makes a lot of sense unless you have a boy who is unusually mature for his age. I got a lot of flak from my husband for insisting that our son go to pre-first after graduating from kindergarten based on his emotional maturity. There also was the fact that my son was significantly smaller than other boys his age. The boys in the pre-first class which only had 15 students in it were emotionally immature for their age and ALL of them were way smaller than average. The girls were normal size but were very hyperactive. There were 3 - 4 boys for every girl in that class.
When my son entered junior high school, he thanked me for sending him to pre-first because he still was small for his age but the difference between him and other seventh graders would have been REALLY striking without that extra year to gain some more growth. As it turned out my son was a late bloomer and his adolescence and growth lasted from 14 - 22. His IQ from when he was eight to an adult increased 25 points. He started out in the normal range for IQ. That is a huge increase in IQ and no medical professional could explain how it happened.
I am also in a big believer in the importance of recess and play for children, particularly boys. All that excess energy needs to be used up or they get very fidgety in class. I used to send the twitchy students to the office to deliver notices and surveys just so they could work off that nervous energy. When kids like this came back to class after five minutes of walking with a little human interaction, they were much more ready to learn.
My son has ADHD and can't be medicated for it, so I had him do his assignments in reverse. The harder tasks were first and then got easier. So many children with ADHD get frustrated due to their short attention span. I would rather have my son di his schoolwork that way so that he starts off being successful and can continue being successful in his assignments. I also had him take play or relaxation breaks if he was getting frustrated. No TV! The greatest thing was when he turned 12. I started giving him a cup of coffee with lots of milk and sugar in it with breakfast "like they do in France". That caffeine at the beginning of his day made a huge difference in his attitude and ability to perform academically at school.
case by case, Tanya. it's not a hard and fast rule
Girls need to get out aggression just as much as boys. I was very athletic as many girls are and we can be every bit as driven and energetic. Stop sexist attitudes. That drive led me to be a great business person.
I don't like the idea of holding them back. Age and physical development is only one factor in learning. The curriculum and the way it's taught is more important. And even still every student has their preferred subject.
Rather then holding them back in Elementary I think parents should encourage high school graduates to take a gap year or two and just work. Let them earn money and grow.
@@CalienteDesign Instead of being shrill and trying to convince me, a woman who started working in a male dominated field 45 years ago and made a career out of it, try to direct your efforts towards finding ways to even up the gap between women and men in the sciences, fields that use a lot of advanced mathematics as well as non-traditional fields that men dominate. I am sure you could be a shining example to girls or mentor them in junior high school and high school which is where they start falling behind the males in taking mathematics and science courses.
"By ages 13 to 17, only 11% of girls say they plan to pursue a STEM career, compared to 35% of boys (according to a survey by Junior Achievement)."
Tanya, I appaud you for making good choices for your child. My oldest son has difficulties now that are based on the lasting effects of young uninformed parenting. I have four grown children, three boys and a girl. I can see the early decisions I made about their schooling and discipline cast long shadows into the way they approach their challenges.. The younger three have much more insight, and are able each in their own way to better vanquish fears .
It's pretty revealing that not much time was spent talking about the fact that back in the 60's and 70's, working men were held in equal status with all other segments of the social fabric. And no mention of the incredible dumbing down of curriculum that has hampered both sexes in the past 20 years. Back in the day, having a college degree didn't mean you looked down or ignored other members of society. Union work was as prized as any other labor. My dad and all his friends worked union jobs and had houses, took vacations, and their kids went to school if they wanted to. Much has changed and the masculine-based identity of men is faltering with a new generation untethered from older female/male social roles. Men now simply don't know what their role or requirements are. I think the Native American "two-spirit" ideology may be a good starting point for balancing these waning realities. Men need to know there can be different expectations to their lives, just as women were pushed and supported to discover theirs.
🙄 It’s not an “ideology.”
@@rainbeauxunicorn5237 Whatever you want to call it. I call it "quantum sense." Another wisdom we didn't pick up from the primary inhabitants. Too much european baggage.
@@paulwheeler6609… the majority of indigenous cultures recognized multiple gender classifications. It wasn’t until colonization that they were forced to turn their backs on their culture to “adopt” westernized culture.
US boys/men have been fed a myth about their place in society for generations. Between that and the unrestrained flight of production industry offshore, the tension between the crumbling myth and the non-existent economy of 50 years ago is crushing the male spirit.
myth for generations? what myth?
I don't know why these guys are treating women being in the workforce enmasse like it's something new and we'd wait and see what the results are. After I graduated from high school 50 years ago, women were pouring into the workplace. Aren't we seeing the results by now? What I see are kids raising themselves and more and more people treating each other with disrespect in ways I never thought I'd see. In a perfect world, at least 1 parent would stay at home and raise the kids, doesn't matter if it's mom or dad. But with people finding it almost impossible to make ends meet today, I don't see that happening. Also, there are more single mothers living in hotel rooms with their children, working 2 and 3 part-time jobs. I don't expect us to go back to the 50's and wouldn't want to, but damn I wish people would treat each other with more caring and respect and teach their kids the same. They need to be made to feel worthy. So many people, men and women, are depressed and feel worthless and it all starts at home if they have one. I wish I knew the answers to the self-esteem problems Americans seem to be having, but men, especially seem to be suffering with it. I agree with everyone on here who is listing the problems with society, but what's happened to the will to fix it?
You just listed it. Women are willing to live in a hotel and work multiple jobs for the kids and men… how many men are willing to exist such? Not have their own home and still work and take care of their kids alone? Men need to adapt. Men need to work and parent. This is changing, but every man in this comment section who says he’s the primary parent is bombarded with comments about how his wife/ gf doesn’t respect him, will leave him. MEN are the problem. They created this and they don’t want to change. They still have more power.
@Jennifer McGoldrick You are absolutely right. Don’t let misogynists try to shut you down or silence you. You are right
@@jennifermcgoldrick6323 you are making assumptions about all men. There are men who raise children due to deadbeat women out there. Stop your hating on men. Stop portraying women as martyrs and being so innocent. Feminism and gender studies taught in Colleges and Universities poison women to hate men. That is not helping. You totally proven misandry is alive and well in a your posts. In this day and age, women have lots more rights and options than men. That is a fact. I am married, successful in my own online businesses, and don't have to deal with any potential bullshit in any workplace. Men can adapt by having their own online businesses successfully and move on that way. It really works.
@@ValiantMichael no dude, I’m responding to all of the hateful messages on this comment thread, many aimed at men who defend their wives or say they are the caretaker or make less than their wives. I’m responding to actual hate. You’re mentioning theories and hating on me. You are proving every point I’ve made.
@@jennifermcgoldrick6323 yeah no men are working multiple jobs to support families, ever 😂 youre delusional
I am very aware of this as a mother of 3 males. However, I hope people will remember that black males were the canary in the mine in terms of these issues. Unfortunately, much of the nation did not think of young black males as young people with needs just as in other sectors of the nation.
Yep
I love men, think they are wonderful and think they should embrace their differences. I've observed that the more intelligent a being is the longer they tend to take to have certain experiences and reach maturity, presumably a more complex and deferred type of maturity. So I respect this kind of process... Simpler things reach completion faster. Being either way is not a bad thing. It's just a thing.
You females didn't have to work for any opportunities they're just given to you because you're a f****** female that's all right you do what you need to do man you guys are going to be alone in your 40s because you focused all on your career but hey man sexism and fascism from feminism what a country
american women dont like men
This comment I think is genuinely insightful.
This is a really complicated topic and ill-suited to politicians or groups that ultimately have some approval based on general voting IMO.
Seems people growing up in war torn areas or areas with strife often grow up faster and are more able to perform most adult things faster, but this comes at a price of stunting later development in many areas. Probably the majority of these individuals would have peaked at a later age with higher capabilities in many areas.
Girls appear to grow faster, physically in height and finish growing faster too than boys (at 22 or something like this). It is very likely that different sections of the brain do the same and are affected also by hormones to grow larger or smaller as a proportion of the overall size at different ages. Seems as though it is generally good to take longer to develop as one will develop to a greater extent, but also some areas might just be bigger in girls in the brain, and others, such as a overall size, bigger in boys/men.
If you really want to go by ability at ages then a chimpanzee will vastly outperform the human girl or boy at 6 months, a giraffe will completely outperform all in the first week. Just something to think about.
Anyway, it is dumb IMO to delay boys development by one year artificially. Individuals are better suited to be looked at by qualified teachers. You can always pull up stats showing all good chess players are men with no women near the top, or just attend any engineering or physics competition. Then you can go get a million different English/literature teachers to show girls are doing far better at writing/reading. We're built different but it's all good and please don't delay boys just for some dumb idea or political reason across the board.
It is good to have people who think deeply, those who will just blurt out something, and everyone in-between. This makes us strong as a society.
uh...no. the more intelligent a person is, the more CAPABLE a person is and will be given MORE OPPORTUNITY and be given it SOONER. the most intelligent children skip grades, typically sit first chair in orchestra sooner, enter college earlier and are promoted faster.
they enter graduate school SOONER and EARLIER and thus get their degrees younger and their professional licenses at a younger age.
@@RobertMJohnson This is only true to a point. Generally very smart people do develop fast. However, so many people that develop fast never reach great heights at later ages (so called 'wonderkids', usually pronounced in a stereotypical German way). If you go to college or university and study something difficult for a while you would have met some of them. Some balance is usually the way to go with development it seems.
Some food for thought - the smartest human ever born would not even come close to outcompeting a very average chimpanzee at 6 months/9 months, and yet no chimpanzee can outdo an average human adult in any mental task. It's a complicated topic, and like most things that are worth talking about, the more you know, the less you really know. This is only one aspect of a larger picture, but is valid and worth considering.
I hope we see more of this! I've always wanted to see men's issues more included in the discussion, rather than being dismissed as "the crocodile tears of an oppressor". Gender issues are so inextricably linked that the issues of both need to be considered for the best solutions.
Let's not confuse the guy who is struggling, with the jerk who makes fun of him for it.
A lot of people have this assumption that "All men are the same."
But they're not. The good people are just forced to be in the same space as the bad ones.
Agree with comments about not starting all boys a year later, instead preferring starting both girls & boys in formal schooling when they are ready for it. For some this might mean 1 or more years later than average while some could start a year earlier than average. l also believe the current schooling method is wrong as it a factory that tries to push everyone along the same path at the same speed instead of tailoring education to the individual's needs & realistic potential. Examples; if someone that has obviously better ability to learn chemistry/biology but poor history/literature scores should (if interested) get an education tailored for a job in the sciences without the need to get good scores in physical ed./social studies while someone else that has great difficulty learning at all should get an education (unfortunately) tailored to labouring/factory & life skills. There is no one answer for each individuals requirements & the education system & society as a whole needs to realise this & adapt to this reality & be flexible enough to adjust to fill each person's needs so they can reach their best potential while being the most beneficial to society.
Not my problem. Since the agricultural revolution the equality gap between men and women started increasing and men grabbed that advantage by the horns and rode it till now stepping on the necks of women. Cue modern day where we no longer need your strength, protection and work to survive. It's our turn now. And you're on your own to find your purpose.
Yes Ma'am! =)
When I was married over 55 years ago (Tokyo Embassy)... my wife (two years older than me) was a nurse Captain in the army (during Vietnam) and I was enlisted in the Air Force. She had a BS, I had High School. She pushed me into a degree (BS) in Accounting. Yes ... there were a lot of other things that caused me to get the BS.
You wouldn’t have gotten it if she didn’t push you into that direction
Gawd bless Murica 🤓 🖕
IIMO, it is eternally that boys have so few stable, caring male mentors that will give them time and attention. So many fathers are absent or abusive. In my own family most of the older men were very abusive to their sons---really selfish, sadly. Those men really only cared about their own careers and hobbies and showed little to no interest in being part of their sons' lives.
Because parents have supported daughters for hundreds of years 🙄🙄🙄
@@jennifermcgoldrick6323 This was addressing men, but there are for sure huge lacks in mentoring daughters as well.
@@jann4sundown men weren’t the ones ignored wrt to education and independence until only two generations ago. Find another boogeyman unless you want to accept that men fail men, fathers fail sons. Seems like a dick problem.
Not just fathers. But society in general.
Everything is about Competition and Ego Flexing.
First and foremost for the last fifty years any boys that have shown any kind of affection for their friends get mocked and ridiculed to the point that they all walk around thinking a romantic partner is supposed to be their only source of companionship.
Mocked and ridiculed by other men?
Yeah, we have a messed up idea of masculinity in our nation.
JuliEm: I don’t see that for all or even most. Is this possibly projecting?
@@leagarner3675 and some women yes
But you sound like a women hater republican.. why would you assume they even identify as boys. Your biological assignment of these people is disgusting and is the direct reason they stay oppressed. you need a serious cultural update.. stay woke everybody😂
Great discussion until right at the end. I'm a court reporter -- 5 to 6-figure job that doesn't require college. And I thought if I got into school and didn't like it, I'd consider becoming an electrician or a plumber because they often make as much or more . There's a critical shortage of skilled trades people in the US because for a generation, everyone was told to go to college and take on massive debt. While not college, you certainly do have to learn A LOT to be in the trades! I'm not sure why a nurse marrying a plumber is considering him not to have an education! A lot more people in high school should be encouraged to go to trade schools and also be required to take some basic business classes as well so they can run those businesses.
Related to that, my brother's an Army colonel. He said that enrollment in the military is down because, setting aside those who are physically or mentally handicapped, 90 percent of the 18-23 year old disqualify because of arrest records, substance abuse issues, obesity and general lack of any sort of physical fitness. I find that stunning, but I think it's related to this topic.
unless a plumber has a BA or BS, he is considerd "not educated". that's the vernacular. it doesn't mean he's not intelligent, doesn't know his trade, isn't successful. it's just how we distinguish those who went to college and those who did not.
Maybe it’s a good indicator that less people are enrolling in the military, recognizing that many of the conflict may our governments get involved in are simply for power, money or resources, instead of humanitarian issues. Why be cannon fodder for the military-industrial complex so some CEO of a military contractor can make billions by you risking your life?