The problem with the 50 Shades of Gray series is that it is written by a person who isn't in the Kink Community. Christian Gray is a BDSMer that knowledgeable BDSMers would kick out or advice subs "That dude is toxic". I often think it is the normies or inexperienced persons idea of BDSM. It is BDSM for straight housewives. In many ways I find the entire series a bit insulting. I find the characters flat and boring. Does 50 shades of Gray, ever discuss after care?
I read the books a long time ago but yes, there is a scene in the first book where he comes over and spanks her, then after the sex is done he just leaves. She gets upset about this bc she feels vulnerable after the spanking thing. I’m pretty sure he comes back upon her request but i’m not sure about it. From what I remember there is some improvement in this aspect later on in their relationship when they get more romantic and start sleeping in the same bed etc
I didn't get far into the first book but I remember Grey making her *really* upset a few times after which she's curled up crying in the fetal position.... One of the many reasons I didn't finish it.
It's ironic that I feel like straight housewives would actually enjoy seeing aftercare... Instead they like seeing a woman who isn't really into BDSM shame a man for liking BDSM. They like falling into the fantasy of being submissive with a dominant man. In this case a "dominant" man is just physical representation of toxic masculinity in every way possible... But at the same time if the woman is "fighting" for power and independence in other places well then it makes it OK. She's not being abused...? But she's staying with a toxic dude. For what? What's the reason? Lol Real BDSM representation is probably waaaay more romantic if they really wanted to. But... I think because there is so much negative talk around BDSM they stick with a knock off...because we are used to seeing toxic relationships as romantic.
@@greeneyesgirl467 Yeah I agree. I think power dynamics can be fun but aftercare and romance apart from the straight toxic and controlling stuff that Christian Grey does seems like it could be just as nice for anyone to read or watch.
@@saeranswife2929 He's the founder of psychoanalysis, and is particularly infamous for doing a lot of cocaine and basically claiming that people have a subconscious desire to have sex with their parents, which in turn forms their approach to sexual relationships as adults.
Can we just stop letting these movies/tv shows portray toxic abusive relationships as sexy and sweet?! It literally pushes the ideal that women are responsible for being the healers of broken men. I legitimately stayed in an abusive relationship as a teen because I thought I could heal him as these shows portrayed.
YES, hard agree. Women aren’t responsible for healing broken men. I’m only responsible for my own damage and healing and girl I have plenty on my plate, I can’t be responsible for a man. I’m not gonna teach a guy to have emotional intelligence and work on themselves.
Clearly Christian Grey love bombed, isolated and alienated his old submissive, pushed her past her boundaries, then dumped her with no after care. He enjoyed her emotional pain. He enjoyed leaving her broken, humiliated, ashamed, confused, obsessed with him, alienated from everyone including him in the end, and suffering. He's evil. God, I hate him.
If he treated her the same way he did Anastasia and i think he did at first, he clearly didn't love bombed her. He told her straight away he wasn't looking for love, she signed the contract (Ana was the first who didn't). Christian didn't dump Leila, Leila ended their contract herself. Because she wanted more and Christian told her he couldn't give it to her. If Christian liked Leila her pain he would have had her arrested. Instead he makes sure she receives proper care and later pays (book 3) for her education, health and dental. But these little things, who really set a different tone are all missing in the film. (The films 2 and 3 don't do the books justice, the books don't do the story justice, but the do a better job than the films)
@@me-cf5te She could have found someone who'd treat her as a person, unlike Christian, who is manipulative and a control freak. Plus, no aftercare? Yikes. I ain't even in the BDSM community and yet, even I know that aftercare is important.
@@me-cf5te like...the other guys aren't good either... Pedro is rapey and entitled, Jack is THE WORST....and Christian's Brother is the only decent guy we see... I think she should have hooked up with one of the body guards....
I think after that scene where he says he is not a dominant the plot should've progress towards them figuring out that he's actually a little and Anna is a mommy. That would explain why they're attracted to each other, why Anna was so dedicated to fixing him and caring for him and why he acts like a spoiled little boy
@@bbiejay Aftercare during any type of BDSM play, in my opinion is always necessary. Regardless of how light it is and *especially* if its heavy. Even if I'm simply degrading my sub, lightly spanking or smacking him, once he enters subspace, aftercare is something to help ease him from it.
@@aleghastzedd4315 yes! It really is necessary. For everyone. For subs its to bring them back and make sure their okay, for doms its to make sure they know they didnt go too far. It can really make or break a dynamic like.this.
@@saltydinonuggies1841 Exactly. Even doms have to establish a limit. I have one. And that's because I'm human, and both sides can go too far without realizing it.
After care is totally necessary. Sub drop is totally a real thing. I was lucky to have been able to chat with a friend in the lifestyle to work out why the heck I was feeling what I was feeling at the time. I was still super new at the time and learning. 🚁
@@darcydoll437 And that's another thing. Super experienced well seasoned doms can have a bad habit of overwhelming a green horn sub and can end up ruining their view of doing anything like that again. I've had to take on a few too many subs who experience sadists mascarading as doms. Its dangerous to fragile sensitive minds.
My friend married a rich man and the second she was filled by him to leave her job, he started using her financial dependence on him to manipulate and abuse her. She finally moved away and got a job making a lot on her own and he kept attacking her, saying she should quit her job to be with him and saying she didn't "really love" him because she put her job first. They aren't together now, but the emotional damage was done. Being financially independent is so important for women. Now a days, it makes me feel so tense whenever a friend of mine even eludes to being "stay at home" for anything other than medical reasons....
Same! I've never been in your position with any of my friends but I grew up in a DV home and my mom being a stay at home woman is one of the reasons it took so long to leave coz it's like - where do you go? You've got no money, no job no savings etc;
It’s crazy how recent it is that women have the ability to make our own livings and decide to leave a relationship when we choose to. Not so long ago that everything was controlled by the men in ones life, we were not even considered full adults or capable of cogent thought. Not allowed to speak publicly, own property, work, go to college... it’s wild to me. And now young women want to forget what it really means to be a feminist. I guess they have that luxury.
@@Skyler_Momoko my mom mostly stayed at home and raised my brother and I- we were home schooled so it was a lot of (unpaid) work, by someone with a masters degree and a whole work life behind her. Now that my dad divorced her, he’s the one with the 401K, much more in social security, etc. He was able to develop and grow professionally BECAUSE OF her support, including money management, at home. And now he’s doing just great with a new woman, and she’s single and fixed income. Sigh.
Sadly, a lot of people are stay-at-home parents because the cost of childcare can easily be more than most people make. I have friends who quit their jobs to save money.
Recently, women have started to realise that this is because we have undervalued house work and thought it shouldn't be paid. Now, people are starting to realise that for anyone who wants to be a stay at home partner( both women AND men), we need to find a way where they don't end up without any money of their own in case they want to leave.
Spoiler alert: all of the books and movies are like this. ~Event occurs that would deserve time and attention to resolve~ 50 Shades Character: Well, that was inconvenient. Let’s go to brunch, talk about marriage, and have **~whispering~** kInKY sEx. Other 50 Shades Character: ... Ok :D ...
Also, I saw someone make this observation somewhere else, but this movie would be so much better if Christian ended up becoming a submissive over the course of the series and letting her be the dominant one
A TH-camr called Evie Lupine who also talks about kink and BDSM did a script doctor where Christian was looking for a Mommy dom. I think she called it Mommy for a Billionaire. It's not exactly what you're talking about but it was pretty funny and had Christian in a submissive role so I thought id mention it.
You ever just... get back together with a guy that just bought a shit ton of pictures of you after yall broke up? Like I'm red-flag colorblind but that'd get through to me even that I should get out of town
That happened literally about three week after they very first met. They went from first meeting to married literally in about three months. The exact dates are online.
The only way would be if he immediately told be that he did and said "im either giving them to you or destroying them cause i didnt want some creep to buy them".
I have to reread the books but I’m pretty sure in it her friend never told her she was going to be such a major part of his exhibit. And I think I remember her being uncomfortable about the idea of someone random having her picture. So while Christian was a little excessive buying them all like that, if I’m remembering correctly she was kind of relieved that it was him and not a stranger, which makes sense why she would get back with him after the fact and not see this as a red flag
I feel like they tried to make it seem like him being a sadist was the main problem. He needs therapy for his abusive tendencies and past trauma. Not all sadists have suffered from traumatic experiences like Christian. Christian is a sadist with trauma, not a sadist because of trauma. Subs/masochists get off of the pain inflicted by doms/sadists; Anna is not like that. She is basically kink shaming him and he trying to force her to be a submissive. In the last movie, they make it seem like he is "cured" of being a sadist because of Anna's love. He never gets the professional help that he needs. I would love to know your opinion on the movie "Secretary". I think it's a better representation of a BDSM relationship.
In the books he has a therapist. He followed therapy his whole life. But nothing helped him better developing a new coping mechanism than Anastasia. The film don't tell this part of the story, at least its not pointed out and it can be easily mist. As a verry little boy Christian was abused while living with his mother. One day she is dead and he has too stay with her in the room with no food until he is found. For years after that he doesn't say a word, he is agressive and his adoptive parents are not allowed to hug him. Because of the abuse he can't bare people touching him. While beeing the submisive of Elena he learned too enjoy some form of bodycontact when having intercourse. But he wants too be in control. Thats why he becomes a dominant. So he can control woman touching him. But Elena never showed what a healthy relationship should look like and Anastasia is the one who is allowed by him, to teach him. That why in the end of movie 2 he said to Elena:" You learned me how to f*ck but Anastasia learned me how to love"
I loved it when you cheered on Anna for asserting herself to Christian!! I felt the same watching that scene Christian keeps crossing Anna's boundaries but telling her she can't cross his... it's so unfair
🚁 I think it will take some time for us to see submissive men in a BDSM context on the silverscreen, at least in movies made for as broad an audience as Shades of Grey was. Shades of Grey is mostly made for Vanillas who dream of a rich guy fulfilling their fantasy of a dom and I think a lot of them don't want to see a submissive man as they'd think he was weak. It would take very good writing to convince them otherwise. "Dominant" men unfortunately sell better. Air quotes because Grey is a red flag on legs to me, not a dominant (at least he's smart enough to admit that in this movie, though). ALSO WHY IS EVERYONE WHISPERING. Seriously, listening to Ana and Christian talk is like listening to a mumble fest.🚁
Sadly even in the romance/erotica lit spheres stories of strait(ish) submissive men don't tend to sell well so they aren't as commonly written. There's a couple fun ones out there but they can be hard to find. Guy on guy with a top and bottom dynamic on the other hand is quite popular, but also often pretty fetishy. Not always but often. Does seem to play into the whole 'people struggle to believe a strong desirable man could also be submissive to a woman' line of thinking.
@@AngelMercury This is making me think of all the people like seven years ago comparing Captain Spanky to Fifty Shades of Grey saying how much healthier and more realistic it was... And now I want Kat Black to review that.
Unfortunately, submissive men have been seen as weak for literal centuries. The Ancient Greeks, Vikings and Romans all considered men who bottomed as feminine and therefore 'weak' whereas men who topped were seen as masculine and 'strong'. I think it'll be really hard to break away from this but it needs to change.
🚁 I really appreciate that Ana is allowed to push back more and "play" with Christian, but girl, the "BDSM" is the least of their relationship's problems.
It would actually kind of be in line with the twilight source material if Christian were to become more of a switch/submissive because once Bella is a vampire (is the narrative equivalent here... "turning" into a BDSMer? Lol) their dynamic is much more push-and-pull / equal. I'm more familiar with twilight than this franchise (only saw the first movie) but I will say I think it'd have been quite believable for Edward to have enjoyed submissing, especially since he was so... idk worship-y to Bella. Also because he very explicitly did NOT like to harm humans - that's why the whole Cullen family ate animals instead.
That definitely would have been better. Im sure you know but fifty shades WAS originally a Twilight fanfic so that would have definitely made sense. Would have made things 1000% better 😂
You make great points as always. But I particularly like how you point out that Christian doesn't force her to do much BDSM (that doesn't remain true but...) His bigger faults are that he's an abuser by isolating her. Also your lipstick shades is lovely so well done there.
In the books, Ana was clearly cornered and couldn’t escape. She did what I resorted to with am abusive ex of mine: Trying to find a way to go along with what was wanted from me in a way that felt like i had power. If he was going to hurt me anyway, it was emotionally easier to feel it was on my terms. I see Ana doing that exact thing.
I feel very seen by the review. The weirdest thing about 50 Shades is that even without Christian's abusive behavior it makes absolutely no sense that these people are pursing a relationship. I can't imagine what Christian sees in Anna and the only overtly attractive thing Anna could see in Christian is that he's rich. Usually in a story like this the woman fantasizes about men acting this way but Anna very obviously dislikes. That's one of the things that makes 365 Days work much better as a story, we're repeatedly shown how the male lead's controlling behavior is something that the female lead sees as positively contrasting to her previous partner.
I’ve never seen an argument that frames 365 days as “better” than 50 Shades but you def have a point. They’re attracted to each other for absolutely no reason other than the plot dictates it must be so.
🚁 Ive never watched the 50 shades franchise but I agree with your assessment so far that the first one was abusive and iffy and the second one is boring. One thing I will say though, I get SO uncomfortable when guys start trying to spend a lot of money on me because I’m automatically worried that they’ll hold it over my head at a later date saying “well I did all these things for you” or “well I spent so much money on XZY” so now you should do whatever I want you too. Maybe it’s just a traumatized view but I get so worried when someone try’s paying for more than they think I can afford. Nope nope nope! So many red flags with that!
Omg same though. I usually don't bring it up though because I feel like I'm being ungrateful despite clearly digging myself into a hole of feeling trapped by not speaking up.
@@grilledcheese5000 I’ve snapped on friends who’ve spent too much on me. I’m not good at staying quiet when that particular thing gets triggered. I’ve found that saying “actually, I’d really prefer if you didn’t spend that much on me. It makes me really uncomfortable because I like things to be even and I won’t feel like I can repay you” seems to work for a lot of people. Because I’m still grateful, I’m just tryna keep things fair!
Men need to know and understand that a women doesn’t owe them their bodies just because they spend x amount of money on them. Who cares. Body is never owed. Point blank. Women, please stop falling for that. And also, don’t feel bad about it either, at all. If a guy buys you dinner or nice gift (no matter the price), that’s HIS choice in doing so. If you choose to accept it, just say thank you and move on regardless if you feel that it’s too pricey. He obviously wasn’t bothered by purchasing it in the first place. Whatever his intentions behind the action is, that’s not your problem. Only a little bitch would throw it back in your face. It should be out of kindness, not for pussy points. Again, no one owes anyone their body. That’s fucking crazy and dumb.
Ok I’m only a few minutes in, but I did read the books when they announced the films (I was 14 and did not know better). The reason why Ana is mad that Christian is a sadist is basically because E.L James( by extension, Ana) thought sadism was a mental illness. There’s literally a conversation between Ana and Christian’s therapist in the book where he points out that sadism is not considered a mental illness anymore and she is surprised by this. So the attitude in entire 1st book is basically “BDSM is cool and edgy but if you actually enjoy inflicting pain, you’re a bad person” . Also i watched this with a friend and nearly spit out my wine when he came back perfectly fine after at the 🚁 scene
Hi!! Loved the vid, but I have a question about the whole BDSM thing and i'm really hoping you can help me out here...?? I'm worried about telling anyone else about that bit of me and I really need some advice here please!!
Honestly if the guy who is stalking you purchases the company that you work out he’s probably gonna end up murdering you. Like if this happened in real life she’d be dead 💀
🚁 I feel like E L James or whatever doesn't understand that consent extends beyond immediate bodily sexual consent. It's so frustrating to see this guy with his Very Important Sex Contract not understand that when someone says no I will not take $24k from you, he has to respect that. It makes him extra creepy imo, because it makes the scenes where he makes a big deal about consent feel fake or performative.
I like to imagine the scene that didn’t make it into the movie where Anna’s former boss is at some sort of off brand Office Depot store getting the family photo printed, just so he could burn the picture with a cigarette. Because if he’s planning something sinister he didn’t really need to this photo to begin with... he was able to get into their fancy party... he already knows who’s who in the Grey clan. And presumably, this rich philanthropist family has a ton of online exposure. Anywho... I saw this movie in theatres with one of my best friends and he and I did not flask nearly enough liquor to make it remotely exciting. I was board out of my skull.
Lol! That's so funny. I didn't even think about that. He literally had to take the picture that he took from his phone and take it to some developing place just so he could stand on the lake and burn a hole into it lol. I mean he probably could print it at home but I kind of doubt that that's what happened lol Honestly I'm kind of excited to watch the last film just to know how that part of the story unfolds. Because it's honestly really really silly
@@KatBlaque This is NOT canon, but it could have been very interesting if Jack’s reason for doing what was knowing about that one day where his mother’s john burned him with a few cigarettes. That’s NOT the reason Jack had, and as far as we know, Jack never knew about that, but it could have been a moment of showing something more sinister in Jack. There are so many things that could have improved these books, like erasing the files as soon as they were written.
🚁 You might not see a ton of similarities in terms of plot with Twilight, since the fanfic that 50 shades is based off was an "alternate universe" with Edward as a billionaire. But in terms of both being boring and unhealthy relationships.... pretty 1:1 comparison.
🚁I’m listening to this video and I’m wondering why it feels like I’ve already seen this, then I remembered I watched you edit it on live like 3 times lmao
Even giving people gifts against there will is disrespectful. you fundamentally ignore what they want, with the big "I know better about you" My mother do this, and it's not about the things you give, but about how little respect you have. It a clear symptom of a much deeper problem. And yes it's well meant but that just not the point.
My mother did this, too. Often people think you're "spoiled" or "ungrateful" if you don't accept gifts that are only meant to control you, especially if those gifts are from your mother. This movie could have explored this dynamic and how we can tend to get into controlling relationships as an adult based on the things our parents did to control us. But it didn't.
My dad and his side of the family does this for sure! It feels like a control method when they feel like they are losing a person. The principle of the matter for them isn't about being sympathetic and apologetic. It's definitely control as my therapist puts it.
Without a single doubt it is certainly a control method to leave you in this state of confusion of "They did this to me but they also did this to make up for it" it's a push and pull situation where you feel as though you want to resent them for the damage they have caused you but you can't due to the seemingly "nice" things they ever done and then they'll gas light you into believing your feelings are invalid and that you're ungrateful it's even worse when it's towards to their own children,ya know those tiny humans who don't know any better and are far from reaching Emotional/Mental maturity??? It's disgusting
can i just say seeing the sign "we will survive this" behind you is just a nice lil perk to have while watching this video? idk i just like that it's there
Technically in the book she spends a long time thinking he's dead and reflects on her feelings for him and their relationship. I forced myself to read all the books... I had to figure out when it became interested. It never did. I just laughed reading them all. The movies are no better.
@@Grey_Boy611 “Long time” being a few hours. He crashed and was home in the space of about five or six hours in the books. In reality, there would be an investigation about the crash, and it just disappeared.
In my experience when trauma comes into it the victim tries to normalize what happened to them most of the time without even realizing it half the time. For example being submissive to normalize the loss of power. Another example is having sex or giving in to their partner's desires to express love (not in a normal way). Disclaimer for those who need it not all victims do this and their kinks may not have anything to do with their trauma and many kinky people do not have trauma or s*xual trauma. My views are strictly anecdotal and I don't have any studies this is just my opinion and experience. 🚁
"This black woman was there before she got there.." etc. I was wondering if you'd comment on that. Thrilled you did, because it never gets a single word in all the 50shades discourse. Anecdote about the speech "I don't expect you to get me coffee unless you're getting some for yourself" that is straight up ripping off Working Girl. Melanie Giffith (Dakota Johnson's mother, and star of Working Girl) was visiting the set that day. The story is they wrote the dialogue in then as an homage (I don't know whether that's true or not).
🚁 this one, i feel like, does a better service to their relationship IN SOME ASPECTS but then ruins it in the next scene. having him be more honest is great, having her show initiative is great, but then having him isolate her & her forgiving him is very toxic.
That kind of feels like a real abusive relationship though, you keep getting lulled into a false sense of things being good or improving and then BAM nope.
@@jazwhoaskedforthis I’m concerned how many people praise those “sweet” scenes without realizing that they’re praising part of the manipulation instead of calling it out. I’m one of those people who stayed in an abusive relationships because I saw the good moments as good without realizing he was using them to pacify me when I was getting to the point of wanting to leave. He emotionally trapped me and tricked me. Christian doing that isn’t sweet, and it shouldn’t be called sweet. It should be called the abuse that it is.
🚁I know according to Folding Idea's video series on the 50 Shades of Grey movies, the reason why it feels like plot threads were being introduced and randomly dropped is because instead of reworking the serialized nature of the fanfic to tell a more cohesive story in the second two movies, E L James was basically draconic about her story and refused to let the directors alter it in any significant way. Which is also why the series switched directors after the first film, because E L James was upset over the changes that were made in it.
The way you described dominants is the way I would describe good game Masters for Dungeons & Dragons. It might have just been the part about being open about mistakes being honest I don't know it's 1 a.m.
I feel like you would be so interested in this kdrama called “The world of the married,”! It takes on so many issues with women having to deal with a cheating husband or else shamed because she is a divorcé. It has a lot of twists and I found its commentary and take quite interesting. Since you are obviously not a monogamous woman I think your take about the situation that goes down would be a great view point. It is inspired off of the english drama Doctor foster, but the kdrama actually finishes the story while doctor foster does not.
who the heck green lights all these movies that don't represent the communities they're supposed to be about? this series, Music, etc.. the general audiences watching them clearly aren't informed enough to know any better, but the people who claim to be authoritative enough to write and put them out??? where is the research. does journalistic integrity just not matter to people
I wanted to say that I love that you didn't call the woman following Christian 'crazy.' It is the default word in these situations and I find it incredibly sexist and unempathetic. So thank you!
🚁 as someone who is predictably vanilla (and would probably stay that way in the foreseeable future 😳) I'd just like to say thank you to you, Kat, for teaching me how BDSM is actually like 😳😳😳
The worst part is, the series makes me love Ana. A character that is ran in the mud if you don't watch or read what you can stomach. Its because Ana is the only character written with love. If I had gotten the chance to write for her I would have given her a shitty happy ending where she grows out her bangs and kicks ass with her own place, getting what she deserves out of the growing she does in the story, to be the actual focus of her own story and not badly written men. My fiance blew my mind when he compared it to r/menwritingwomen and my brains are everywhere.
your commentary is literally endlessly entertaining 😂 i would love to hear your thoughts on the movie Secretary with Maggie Gyllenhaal, i think it’s pretty widely regarded as the “more realistic” version of this story (also featuring a businessman named Mr. Grey)
Thanks for bringing up the fact that women (or anyone for that matter) should be financially independent even when in a relationship if possible. I know too many women who won't leave a bad or abusive relationship because they have absolutely nothing for themselves, especially in the older generations when it was still more of the norm. It's often not talked about that trying to make someone financially dependent on you in a relationship can be an abuse tactic. 🚁
Kat: Right now, I'm taking this class about being productive and staying on top of work. Me: Watching a video about Fifty Shades 2 and totally not procrastinating, 100% on focus, for sure
🚁 🚁 I am binging some of your videos that I missed because I was so busy these last few weeks. Anyway, I didn't watch the second Fifth shades of gray, but I really loved your comments on abuse and isolation and on consent. Girlll, when you said that society likes to talk about consent but we don't really talk about it, we don't really accept when a woman say no, that's just so true. Most conversations on consent are so superficial. And yes, I also believe Gray would be better as a submissive. However, you can understand how that would not be popular among the public because a submissive man would not reflect the kind of toxic masculinity our society loves and encourages so much.
5:15 if someone wants to change you might help them change. IF THEY DONT, LEAVE THEM ALONE. You can teach them to pretend, but if it wasn't their idea they might just agree to please you :/
So HERE for your laid back look, as well as your eyeshadow -both suit you so much. Also a fan of your nail color. I love to listen to your videos while I cross stitch
Anyone deliberately ignoring your "no," even if it's to give you something, is a red flag like 99% of the time. It shows they see you as a pet or symbol rather than a person, and it may also be them just starting to test what they can get away with without you ending the relationship.
I love the clips of you watching the movie while doing your nails and sipping tea. Its is such a mood. Especially when you cheer Anna on when she's calling him out on his shit.
I've seen reviews of the 50 Shades movies, but not by anyone ingrained in the BDSM community. You added a lot of perspective to the way I view them for sure. I already had a bone to pick with the movie for its bland shots & the lack of chemistry between Anastasia and Christian. Not to mention the way it frames a clearly abusive relationship. I knew the work was in no way an accurate portrayal of BDSM relationships, but I'm happy to say I'm walking away from this video having learned something new about the actual dynamic of said relationships. Also, the makeup & hair is not looking trash at all. You're looking stunning as usual. ❤ This channel has become a fast favorite of mine, looking forward to see what you talk about next!
When people are into manipulating and having power over people in real life, without their full knowledge or consent, that’s where the I consider it less of a kink and just plain abuse (though people often justify it as a kink). It’s funny how this movie both shames people who are into kink and romanticizes abusive behavior. Not surprising, but most movies suggest that with less detail. Wow. His comments about the woman being so crazy and wanting more and attempting suicide for attention? Yeah pretty sure countless abusers have said that. One of the reasons they keep getting away with it, victims and people who are suicidal keep getting dismissed, why why their trauma continues to escalate. Also like the portrayal of a woman who maybe wants to warn other women off a man of being a “creepy stalker.” Ive heard plenty of men and woman who prioritize men over women dismiss victims like this. Doesn’t matter that the man continues to do the same thing, even to those women who support abusers. It’s still somehow more distasteful to speak up about it than to do it. (Note: haven’t finished the video yet!)
I’m glad you addressed that sometimes we reenact our traumas in our kinky lives. Like for example, though this sounds fucked up, since I have been raped, I enjoy bdsm and consensually rape which basically means we have a safe word but I can struggle, say no, etc but he can still keep going. It’s fucked up but it’s how I deal with my trauma 😅😅
Just hearing about this series I felt like they were a toxic relationship. But then it's also the weird events that seem to fall between the first film and this one. But some random guy just sexually assaults Anna, possibly out of jealousy for Christian. And then the guy just disappears. Same thing with the girl who attacked Anna because she apparently used to be Christian's former submissive/slave.
After reading the series, I knew that the movies would infuriate me and didn't bother. It's so validating knowing Kat and I are in agreement. Edit: I'm loving this series, it's like I'm watching movies with my bestie. So if you review the last movie, I'll make the exception 🚁🚁🚁
🚁This was a fun video! It kept me entertained while washing dishes haha I really appreciated the point that some people practice BDSM as a way of creating their own boundaries and a sense of safe control. I'd never thought of it from that perspective but it makes a lot of sense and actually appeals to me, a vanilla, quite a lot! I've always been a little uncomfortable with the idea of BDSM because I dealt with emotional abuse growing up and still lowkey fear losing control to others. But looking at it through a setting-boundaries perspective, I quite like the idea :)
I have issues with this, so many issues. Gray is not the type of person that you would want to play with or be around in general, why would anyone want your jealous "boyfriend" thing to buy the company that you work with? Let alone the lack of boundaries when it comes to other people and the straight up stalkerish behavior
Is anyone even going to talk about how Anna even looks like your typical Y/N in every one of those x reader books and drawn fan fictions?🤔 Like she's got the lifestyle, she gets the “rich bad boy" and to put the cherry on top, everybody got a crush on her even though in my opinion, there's nothing about her that really stands out to me that could give an arguable explanation for how that even happens. The only thing she's missing is the signature long bangs that covers like 80% of her face.👀👀
"i have seen a lot of women go and give everything into their relationship and become completely dependant of the man and then when it's over, it leaves them devastated" mmmh wonder if part of that explains what happened to Christian's ex...
The problem with the 50 Shades of Gray series is that it is written by a person who isn't in the Kink Community. Christian Gray is a BDSMer that knowledgeable BDSMers would kick out or advice subs "That dude is toxic". I often think it is the normies or inexperienced persons idea of BDSM. It is BDSM for straight housewives. In many ways I find the entire series a bit insulting. I find the characters flat and boring.
Does 50 shades of Gray, ever discuss after care?
So far, in the movies? Nope!!
I read the books a long time ago but yes, there is a scene in the first book where he comes over and spanks her, then after the sex is done he just leaves. She gets upset about this bc she feels vulnerable after the spanking thing. I’m pretty sure he comes back upon her request but i’m not sure about it. From what I remember there is some improvement in this aspect later on in their relationship when they get more romantic and start sleeping in the same bed etc
I didn't get far into the first book but I remember Grey making her *really* upset a few times after which she's curled up crying in the fetal position.... One of the many reasons I didn't finish it.
It's ironic that I feel like straight housewives would actually enjoy seeing aftercare...
Instead they like seeing a woman who isn't really into BDSM shame a man for liking BDSM. They like falling into the fantasy of being submissive with a dominant man. In this case a "dominant" man is just physical representation of toxic masculinity in every way possible... But at the same time if the woman is "fighting" for power and independence in other places well then it makes it OK. She's not being abused...?
But she's staying with a toxic dude. For what? What's the reason? Lol
Real BDSM representation is probably waaaay more romantic if they really wanted to. But... I think because there is so much negative talk around BDSM they stick with a knock off...because we are used to seeing toxic relationships as romantic.
@@greeneyesgirl467 Yeah I agree. I think power dynamics can be fun but aftercare and romance apart from the straight toxic and controlling stuff that Christian Grey does seems like it could be just as nice for anyone to read or watch.
Anastasia: Christian, what are you doing?
Christian, waving a red flag: Nothing
he wasn't waving the flag...he was doing a WHOLE baton routine with that flag...jesus....
@@TehMomo_ He's tryna get on the Color Guard lmaooo
His flags are, as Ana would put it, "the color of The Communist Manifesto."
@@floridafinnley YES. COLOR GUARD...THAT'S THE WORD I WAS FORGETTING.
He's wearing a whole red flag and waving about 60 of them, while the rest are stuck in his bodily holes! lol
“He has consistently gone after women who look like his mom”
*Sigmund Freud has entered the chat.*
🚁
😂🤣😂🤣
Everyday people prove this man right.
Ngl I feel like I heard that name, whom is that?
@@saeranswife2929 He's the founder of psychoanalysis, and is particularly infamous for doing a lot of cocaine and basically claiming that people have a subconscious desire to have sex with their parents, which in turn forms their approach to sexual relationships as adults.
Bro that’s exactly what I thought too lmao
"I get off on punishing women who look like you" "your mother?" I forreal just gagged out loud
@Domi B ugh, I dread to think of it, I am so glad I never read the books
Yooo those BOOKS are trash, all three😆😭
The movies are more entertaining tbh lol
🗣Hard pass on the creepy mom sh*t
@@daylamore3300 How does it happen in the books???
@@KatBlaque From what I remember they exclusively call her "the crack wh0re" and such... Ain't pretty
Some how the book line is a thousand times worse
Can we just stop letting these movies/tv shows portray toxic abusive relationships as sexy and sweet?! It literally pushes the ideal that women are responsible for being the healers of broken men. I legitimately stayed in an abusive relationship as a teen because I thought I could heal him as these shows portrayed.
YES, hard agree. Women aren’t responsible for healing broken men. I’m only responsible for my own damage and healing and girl I have plenty on my plate, I can’t be responsible for a man. I’m not gonna teach a guy to have emotional intelligence and work on themselves.
@@jazwhoaskedforthis Exactly. Teaching people emotional intelligence is their parents’ or therapists’ job, never their partners’ job!
Good point
Yes! I've put myself in so many dangerous situations in the past to try to "save" some shitty dude.
All of this!!! 👏🏾
This whole movie is just:
So how many red flags do you want?
Christian Grey: yes.
Fifty flags of red
And in a way condoning child sexual abuse. ( as a surviour, its f'ing insulting) It's the highest form of trash.
It's insane. The guy behaves like a serial killer from some crime drama.
@@iciajay6891 same here, I never got that vibe from it though
I want your red flags in a braid whenever you are in this room.
Clearly Christian Grey love bombed, isolated and alienated his old submissive, pushed her past her boundaries, then dumped her with no after care. He enjoyed her emotional pain. He enjoyed leaving her broken, humiliated, ashamed, confused, obsessed with him, alienated from everyone including him in the end, and suffering. He's evil. God, I hate him.
If he treated her the same way he did Anastasia and i think he did at first, he clearly didn't love bombed her. He told her straight away he wasn't looking for love, she signed the contract (Ana was the first who didn't). Christian didn't dump Leila, Leila ended their contract herself. Because she wanted more and Christian told her he couldn't give it to her. If Christian liked Leila her pain he would have had her arrested. Instead he makes sure she receives proper care and later pays (book 3) for her education, health and dental. But these little things, who really set a different tone are all missing in the film. (The films 2 and 3 don't do the books justice, the books don't do the story justice, but the do a better job than the films)
Every single male on that movie has a crush on her I-
Every single guy.
Literally lmao 🤣🤣 She breathes and men just fall at her feet! 🤣
right, and yet she chooses christian?? she could literally have anyone lmao
@@me-cf5te She could have found someone who'd treat her as a person, unlike Christian, who is manipulative and a control freak. Plus, no aftercare? Yikes. I ain't even in the BDSM community and yet, even I know that aftercare is important.
@@me-cf5te like...the other guys aren't good either...
Pedro is rapey and entitled, Jack is THE WORST....and Christian's Brother is the only decent guy we see...
I think she should have hooked up with one of the body guards....
I think after that scene where he says he is not a dominant the plot should've progress towards them figuring out that he's actually a little and Anna is a mommy. That would explain why they're attracted to each other, why Anna was so dedicated to fixing him and caring for him and why he acts like a spoiled little boy
Now THIS is a fanfiction worth our time 🙌🏾💗🥳
YES! I'd wanna watch that film haha!
Now this I would get behind!
Now this would've been good!
Literally would’ve fixed so many of the problems with this damn series
Aftercare shouldn't merely be an afterthought or, worse yet, a non-existent thought at all.
@@bbiejay Aftercare during any type of BDSM play, in my opinion is always necessary. Regardless of how light it is and *especially* if its heavy. Even if I'm simply degrading my sub, lightly spanking or smacking him, once he enters subspace, aftercare is something to help ease him from it.
@@aleghastzedd4315 yes! It really is necessary. For everyone. For subs its to bring them back and make sure their okay, for doms its to make sure they know they didnt go too far. It can really make or break a dynamic like.this.
@@saltydinonuggies1841 Exactly. Even doms have to establish a limit. I have one. And that's because I'm human, and both sides can go too far without realizing it.
After care is totally necessary. Sub drop is totally a real thing.
I was lucky to have been able to chat with a friend in the lifestyle to work out why the heck I was feeling what I was feeling at the time. I was still super new at the time and learning. 🚁
@@darcydoll437 And that's another thing. Super experienced well seasoned doms can have a bad habit of overwhelming a green horn sub and can end up ruining their view of doing anything like that again. I've had to take on a few too many subs who experience sadists mascarading as doms. Its dangerous to fragile sensitive minds.
My friend married a rich man and the second she was filled by him to leave her job, he started using her financial dependence on him to manipulate and abuse her. She finally moved away and got a job making a lot on her own and he kept attacking her, saying she should quit her job to be with him and saying she didn't "really love" him because she put her job first. They aren't together now, but the emotional damage was done.
Being financially independent is so important for women. Now a days, it makes me feel so tense whenever a friend of mine even eludes to being "stay at home" for anything other than medical reasons....
Same! I've never been in your position with any of my friends but I grew up in a DV home and my mom being a stay at home woman is one of the reasons it took so long to leave coz it's like - where do you go? You've got no money, no job no savings etc;
It’s crazy how recent it is that women have the ability to make our own livings and decide to leave a relationship when we choose to. Not so long ago that everything was controlled by the men in ones life, we were not even considered full adults or capable of cogent thought. Not allowed to speak publicly, own property, work, go to college... it’s wild to me. And now young women want to forget what it really means to be a feminist. I guess they have that luxury.
@@Skyler_Momoko my mom mostly stayed at home and raised my brother and I- we were home schooled so it was a lot of (unpaid) work, by someone with a masters degree and a whole work life behind her. Now that my dad divorced her, he’s the one with the 401K, much more in social security, etc. He was able to develop and grow professionally BECAUSE OF her support, including money management, at home. And now he’s doing just great with a new woman, and she’s single and fixed income. Sigh.
Sadly, a lot of people are stay-at-home parents because the cost of childcare can easily be more than most people make. I have friends who quit their jobs to save money.
Recently, women have started to realise that this is because we have undervalued house work and thought it shouldn't be paid. Now, people are starting to realise that for anyone who wants to be a stay at home partner( both women AND men), we need to find a way where they don't end up without any money of their own in case they want to leave.
“He is a rich white man, who, in certain universes is attractive” I fell out laughing 😂😂😂😂 it is the “certain universes” for me.
helicopter crashing and then Christian being a-OK made me get up and walk around the house lol
😑"imma head out"
I hate it when books and movies do shizz like this! Why bring in an intense scene and have I brush off the next?!
So many times throughout this and 365, I had to pause and look at the wall for a bit
Spoiler alert: all of the books and movies are like this.
~Event occurs that would deserve time and attention to resolve~
50 Shades Character: Well, that was inconvenient. Let’s go to brunch, talk about marriage, and have **~whispering~** kInKY sEx.
Other 50 Shades Character: ... Ok :D ...
I'm sorry that's just to funny considering ok means 0 kills 😂😂
the only way im watching the 50 Shades movies is with Kat's narration. PURRRR~ 🚁
:pleading_face:
Same
Omg, I was cleaning and didn’t realize how long this vid is! I basically watched it through Kat. Thank you so much!!
Same! 🚁
period 💖
Also, I saw someone make this observation somewhere else, but this movie would be so much better if Christian ended up becoming a submissive over the course of the series and letting her be the dominant one
Yeah like he learned to trust her completely. At least a financial submissive but he never learns to lose control. He barely learns to share it.
Kat mentions it in her review of the first movie.
A TH-camr called Evie Lupine who also talks about kink and BDSM did a script doctor where Christian was looking for a Mommy dom. I think she called it Mommy for a Billionaire. It's not exactly what you're talking about but it was pretty funny and had Christian in a submissive role so I thought id mention it.
Ooooooh that WOULD have been interesting!!!
I doubt well ever get a movie like that out of a big company
I legitimately thought that was where this was going especially with him stating "I'm not a dominant". Welp.
You ever just... get back together with a guy that just bought a shit ton of pictures of you after yall broke up? Like I'm red-flag colorblind but that'd get through to me even that I should get out of town
God i would be so creeped out.
I was so confused for a second. I was like, "how did I comment on this? I haven't watched it yet" 😂😂
That happened literally about three week after they very first met. They went from first meeting to married literally in about three months. The exact dates are online.
The only way would be if he immediately told be that he did and said "im either giving them to you or destroying them cause i didnt want some creep to buy them".
I have to reread the books but I’m pretty sure in it her friend never told her she was going to be such a major part of his exhibit. And I think I remember her being uncomfortable about the idea of someone random having her picture. So while Christian was a little excessive buying them all like that, if I’m remembering correctly she was kind of relieved that it was him and not a stranger, which makes sense why she would get back with him after the fact and not see this as a red flag
Idk why it makes me laugh so hard how you always refer to him as his full "Christian Grey" and not just "christian" LOL
Where the actually any “real” bdsm action? Tbh this movie is just full of toxic relationship dynamic, red flags and sprinkles of a plot 🚁
Which, to be fair, it probably what the author thought bdsm is
@@saltydinonuggies1841 The author should have done some actual research before trying to write about BDSM.
"Everything seems so inconsequential" is a great synopsis of the entire series, really.
Yeahhh also reminds me of plenty of fan fiction lol. This happens. Then this. Then this. Then you’re like wait this is just boring.
literally - rather than following a plot-mountain - the movies follow a plot-zig-zag!
when someone tells you who they are, believe them. don’t try to change someone. leave. billions of fish in the sea, sis.
🚁every time Kat called it a "car" crash, I had to laugh, 'cause that's just how little of an impact the helicopter crash has. XD
I feel like they tried to make it seem like him being a sadist was the main problem. He needs therapy for his abusive tendencies and past trauma. Not all sadists have suffered from traumatic experiences like Christian. Christian is a sadist with trauma, not a sadist because of trauma. Subs/masochists get off of the pain inflicted by doms/sadists; Anna is not like that. She is basically kink shaming him and he trying to force her to be a submissive. In the last movie, they make it seem like he is "cured" of being a sadist because of Anna's love. He never gets the professional help that he needs.
I would love to know your opinion on the movie "Secretary". I think it's a better representation of a BDSM relationship.
In the books he has a therapist. He followed therapy his whole life. But nothing helped him better developing a new coping mechanism than Anastasia. The film don't tell this part of the story, at least its not pointed out and it can be easily mist. As a verry little boy Christian was abused while living with his mother. One day she is dead and he has too stay with her in the room with no food until he is found. For years after that he doesn't say a word, he is agressive and his adoptive parents are not allowed to hug him. Because of the abuse he can't bare people touching him. While beeing the submisive of Elena he learned too enjoy some form of bodycontact when having intercourse. But he wants too be in control. Thats why he becomes a dominant. So he can control woman touching him. But Elena never showed what a healthy relationship should look like and Anastasia is the one who is allowed by him, to teach him. That why in the end of movie 2 he said to Elena:" You learned me how to f*ck but Anastasia learned me how to love"
me crocheting and watching this while you talk and file your nails is so therapeutic to me🚁
I'm drawing my comic book and listening to this and Kat is 💖✨
I crochet and watch Kat all the time
It would be so cool to see pictures of all the different projects people are working on, while they listen to Kat!
OMG I was crocheting while watching too 🤩🤩🤩
I was coloring in my Mandela coloring book 💓
we need a gif of kat filing her nails then judgingly looking up and saying "duh!"
I loved it when you cheered on Anna for asserting herself to Christian!! I felt the same watching that scene
Christian keeps crossing Anna's boundaries but telling her she can't cross his... it's so unfair
🚁 I think it will take some time for us to see submissive men in a BDSM context on the silverscreen, at least in movies made for as broad an audience as Shades of Grey was. Shades of Grey is mostly made for Vanillas who dream of a rich guy fulfilling their fantasy of a dom and I think a lot of them don't want to see a submissive man as they'd think he was weak. It would take very good writing to convince them otherwise. "Dominant" men unfortunately sell better. Air quotes because Grey is a red flag on legs to me, not a dominant (at least he's smart enough to admit that in this movie, though). ALSO WHY IS EVERYONE WHISPERING. Seriously, listening to Ana and Christian talk is like listening to a mumble fest.🚁
Sadly even in the romance/erotica lit spheres stories of strait(ish) submissive men don't tend to sell well so they aren't as commonly written. There's a couple fun ones out there but they can be hard to find.
Guy on guy with a top and bottom dynamic on the other hand is quite popular, but also often pretty fetishy. Not always but often. Does seem to play into the whole 'people struggle to believe a strong desirable man could also be submissive to a woman' line of thinking.
@@AngelMercury This is making me think of all the people like seven years ago comparing Captain Spanky to Fifty Shades of Grey saying how much healthier and more realistic it was... And now I want Kat Black to review that.
Unfortunately, submissive men have been seen as weak for literal centuries. The Ancient Greeks, Vikings and Romans all considered men who bottomed as feminine and therefore 'weak' whereas men who topped were seen as masculine and 'strong'. I think it'll be really hard to break away from this but it needs to change.
@@HughMiller98 Yeah, when women are treated that way because of our biology, I can only imagine how it is for bottoming guys. Super gross.
There's a new Netflix movie featuring a male sub and a female dom/master called Love and Leashes, in case anyone's interested
But can we talk about how naturally beautiful she is without makeup?
Aw thanks. My pronouns are she/her though.
@@KatBlaque wasn’t sure I always call someone they/them before hearing what they identify as so Tysm for letting me know!
@@orochimommy I thought you were referring to the Shades of Grey actors at first.
If you want to avoid misgendering people, you can also just use someone's name!
@@jeanwire3221 another hot take.
🚁 I really appreciate that Ana is allowed to push back more and "play" with Christian, but girl, the "BDSM" is the least of their relationship's problems.
Oh my god Kat doing her nails during this vid is such a mood lol
It would actually kind of be in line with the twilight source material if Christian were to become more of a switch/submissive because once Bella is a vampire (is the narrative equivalent here... "turning" into a BDSMer? Lol) their dynamic is much more push-and-pull / equal. I'm more familiar with twilight than this franchise (only saw the first movie) but I will say I think it'd have been quite believable for Edward to have enjoyed submissing, especially since he was so... idk worship-y to Bella. Also because he very explicitly did NOT like to harm humans - that's why the whole Cullen family ate animals instead.
That definitely would have been better. Im sure you know but fifty shades WAS originally a Twilight fanfic so that would have definitely made sense.
Would have made things 1000% better 😂
You make great points as always. But I particularly like how you point out that Christian doesn't force her to do much BDSM (that doesn't remain true but...) His bigger faults are that he's an abuser by isolating her.
Also your lipstick shades is lovely so well done there.
In the books, Ana was clearly cornered and couldn’t escape. She did what I resorted to with am abusive ex of mine: Trying to find a way to go along with what was wanted from me in a way that felt like i had power. If he was going to hurt me anyway, it was emotionally easier to feel it was on my terms. I see Ana doing that exact thing.
I feel very seen by the review. The weirdest thing about 50 Shades is that even without Christian's abusive behavior it makes absolutely no sense that these people are pursing a relationship. I can't imagine what Christian sees in Anna and the only overtly attractive thing Anna could see in Christian is that he's rich. Usually in a story like this the woman fantasizes about men acting this way but Anna very obviously dislikes. That's one of the things that makes 365 Days work much better as a story, we're repeatedly shown how the male lead's controlling behavior is something that the female lead sees as positively contrasting to her previous partner.
I’ve never seen an argument that frames 365 days as “better” than 50 Shades but you def have a point. They’re attracted to each other for absolutely no reason other than the plot dictates it must be so.
🚁 Ive never watched the 50 shades franchise but I agree with your assessment so far that the first one was abusive and iffy and the second one is boring.
One thing I will say though, I get SO uncomfortable when guys start trying to spend a lot of money on me because I’m automatically worried that they’ll hold it over my head at a later date saying “well I did all these things for you” or “well I spent so much money on XZY” so now you should do whatever I want you too. Maybe it’s just a traumatized view but I get so worried when someone try’s paying for more than they think I can afford. Nope nope nope! So many red flags with that!
Omg same though. I usually don't bring it up though because I feel like I'm being ungrateful despite clearly digging myself into a hole of feeling trapped by not speaking up.
@@grilledcheese5000 I’ve snapped on friends who’ve spent too much on me. I’m not good at staying quiet when that particular thing gets triggered.
I’ve found that saying “actually, I’d really prefer if you didn’t spend that much on me. It makes me really uncomfortable because I like things to be even and I won’t feel like I can repay you” seems to work for a lot of people. Because I’m still grateful, I’m just tryna keep things fair!
Same and unfortunately I would say that many guys do expect some thing in return
absolut same!
Men need to know and understand that a women doesn’t owe them their bodies just because they spend x amount of money on them. Who cares. Body is never owed. Point blank. Women, please stop falling for that. And also, don’t feel bad about it either, at all. If a guy buys you dinner or nice gift (no matter the price), that’s HIS choice in doing so. If you choose to accept it, just say thank you and move on regardless if you feel that it’s too pricey. He obviously wasn’t bothered by purchasing it in the first place. Whatever his intentions behind the action is, that’s not your problem. Only a little bitch would throw it back in your face. It should be out of kindness, not for pussy points. Again, no one owes anyone their body. That’s fucking crazy and dumb.
Ok I’m only a few minutes in, but I did read the books when they announced the films (I was 14 and did not know better). The reason why Ana is mad that Christian is a sadist is basically because E.L James( by extension, Ana) thought sadism was a mental illness. There’s literally a conversation between Ana and Christian’s therapist in the book where he points out that sadism is not considered a mental illness anymore and she is surprised by this. So the attitude in entire 1st book is basically “BDSM is cool and edgy but if you actually enjoy inflicting pain, you’re a bad person” .
Also i watched this with a friend and nearly spit out my wine when he came back perfectly fine after at the 🚁 scene
(working on the captions)
Thank you 💜
Thank you so much!! Really appreciate all the work you put into your videos ❤️❤️
Appreciate it.
Ps stay beautiful
Hi!! Loved the vid, but I have a question about the whole BDSM thing and i'm really hoping you can help me out here...?? I'm worried about telling anyone else about that bit of me and I really need some advice here please!!
Honestly if the guy who is stalking you purchases the company that you work out he’s probably gonna end up murdering you. Like if this happened in real life she’d be dead 💀
"you better walk Anna" straight out of this abusive relationship
🚁 I feel like E L James or whatever doesn't understand that consent extends beyond immediate bodily sexual consent. It's so frustrating to see this guy with his Very Important Sex Contract not understand that when someone says no I will not take $24k from you, he has to respect that. It makes him extra creepy imo, because it makes the scenes where he makes a big deal about consent feel fake or performative.
I’m sorry I had to comment this but this laid back look is extra cute today!
I’m sorry you feel sorry bc sis is popping !
Aw ya'll too nice to me!!
She’s a babe in every form! ✨
@@LoveTheAutumnAir very true t ☕️
@@LoveTheAutumnAir the babest of all babes 💖
I like to imagine the scene that didn’t make it into the movie where Anna’s former boss is at some sort of off brand Office Depot store getting the family photo printed, just so he could burn the picture with a cigarette. Because if he’s planning something sinister he didn’t really need to this photo to begin with... he was able to get into their fancy party... he already knows who’s who in the Grey clan. And presumably, this rich philanthropist family has a ton of online exposure.
Anywho... I saw this movie in theatres with one of my best friends and he and I did not flask nearly enough liquor to make it remotely exciting. I was board out of my skull.
Lol! That's so funny. I didn't even think about that. He literally had to take the picture that he took from his phone and take it to some developing place just so he could stand on the lake and burn a hole into it lol. I mean he probably could print it at home but I kind of doubt that that's what happened lol
Honestly I'm kind of excited to watch the last film just to know how that part of the story unfolds. Because it's honestly really really silly
@@KatBlaque This is NOT canon, but it could have been very interesting if Jack’s reason for doing what was knowing about that one day where his mother’s john burned him with a few cigarettes. That’s NOT the reason Jack had, and as far as we know, Jack never knew about that, but it could have been a moment of showing something more sinister in Jack. There are so many things that could have improved these books, like erasing the files as soon as they were written.
🚁 You might not see a ton of similarities in terms of plot with Twilight, since the fanfic that 50 shades is based off was an "alternate universe" with Edward as a billionaire. But in terms of both being boring and unhealthy relationships.... pretty 1:1 comparison.
See Also: female lead with the looks/personality of stale bread being *irresistible* to EVERY MAN FOR MILES AROUND 😂😭
@@Setsunako6587 LITERALLY 🤣🤣
Anna: you get off on hurting women who look like your mother?
Christian Grey: *laughs in serial killer*
🚁
I watch too many serial killer podcasts to know where this is going.
🤣
🚁I’m listening to this video and I’m wondering why it feels like I’ve already seen this, then I remembered I watched you edit it on live like 3 times lmao
Hahaha
I did the same thing 😂
Even giving people gifts against there will is disrespectful.
you fundamentally ignore what they want, with the big "I know better about you"
My mother do this, and it's not about the things you give, but about how little respect you have. It a clear symptom of a much deeper problem. And yes it's well meant but that just not the point.
My mother did this, too. Often people think you're "spoiled" or "ungrateful" if you don't accept gifts that are only meant to control you, especially if those gifts are from your mother.
This movie could have explored this dynamic and how we can tend to get into controlling relationships as an adult based on the things our parents did to control us.
But it didn't.
My dad and his side of the family does this for sure!
It feels like a control method when they feel like they are losing a person. The principle of the matter for them isn't about being sympathetic and apologetic. It's definitely control as my therapist puts it.
Without a single doubt it is certainly a control method to leave you in this state of confusion of "They did this to me but they also did this to make up for it" it's a push and pull situation where you feel as though you want to resent them for the damage they have caused you but you can't due to the seemingly "nice" things they ever done and then they'll gas light you into believing your feelings are invalid and that you're ungrateful it's even worse when it's towards to their own children,ya know those tiny humans who don't know any better and are far from reaching Emotional/Mental maturity??? It's disgusting
can i just say seeing the sign "we will survive this" behind you is just a nice lil perk to have while watching this video? idk i just like that it's there
We will survive this shitty movie!
"Solar Unicorn Skin"
Oh a budding holo taco enthusiast I see 👀
The 🚁 crash seems so random? Like there's no actual conflict to it and it's instantly resolved?
Gotta make it exciting somehow
That's fanficton, babey!!
Technically in the book she spends a long time thinking he's dead and reflects on her feelings for him and their relationship. I forced myself to read all the books... I had to figure out when it became interested. It never did. I just laughed reading them all. The movies are no better.
@@Grey_Boy611 “Long time” being a few hours. He crashed and was home in the space of about five or six hours in the books. In reality, there would be an investigation about the crash, and it just disappeared.
The car crash. -Kat. 😅 it was so whatever of an incident that she called it a car crash.
In my experience when trauma comes into it the victim tries to normalize what happened to them most of the time without even realizing it half the time. For example being submissive to normalize the loss of power. Another example is having sex or giving in to their partner's desires to express love (not in a normal way). Disclaimer for those who need it not all victims do this and their kinks may not have anything to do with their trauma and many kinky people do not have trauma or s*xual trauma. My views are strictly anecdotal and I don't have any studies this is just my opinion and experience. 🚁
I'm a lesbian, so I don't want no dominant man lmao But I'd love to be part of the cool kids' club, so here's a little emoji 🚁
"This black woman was there before she got there.." etc.
I was wondering if you'd comment on that. Thrilled you did, because it never gets a single word in all the 50shades discourse.
Anecdote about the speech "I don't expect you to get me coffee unless you're getting some for yourself" that is straight up ripping off Working Girl.
Melanie Giffith (Dakota Johnson's mother, and star of Working Girl) was visiting the set that day. The story is they wrote the dialogue in then as an homage (I don't know whether that's true or not).
The title should be "Christian Gray getting dragged for 45 minutes and 33 seconds"
🚁 this one, i feel like, does a better service to their relationship IN SOME ASPECTS but then ruins it in the next scene. having him be more honest is great, having her show initiative is great, but then having him isolate her & her forgiving him is very toxic.
That kind of feels like a real abusive relationship though, you keep getting lulled into a false sense of things being good or improving and then BAM nope.
It's a text book example of coercive control
@@jazwhoaskedforthis I’m concerned how many people praise those “sweet” scenes without realizing that they’re praising part of the manipulation instead of calling it out. I’m one of those people who stayed in an abusive relationships because I saw the good moments as good without realizing he was using them to pacify me when I was getting to the point of wanting to leave. He emotionally trapped me and tricked me. Christian doing that isn’t sweet, and it shouldn’t be called sweet. It should be called the abuse that it is.
@@DavyHulme Yet even Kat praised him, showing that even she was falling for it. :(
HOMEMADE BOBA!!! THE TALENT!!
🚁I know according to Folding Idea's video series on the 50 Shades of Grey movies, the reason why it feels like plot threads were being introduced and randomly dropped is because instead of reworking the serialized nature of the fanfic to tell a more cohesive story in the second two movies, E L James was basically draconic about her story and refused to let the directors alter it in any significant way. Which is also why the series switched directors after the first film, because E L James was upset over the changes that were made in it.
Not me watching this while typing my 6 page paper due at 11:59pm today.😭
🚁🔥😔
i love that both you AND evie are like, "this man is not a dominant. this is a sub." and ur both right
The way you described dominants is the way I would describe good game Masters for Dungeons & Dragons. It might have just been the part about being open about mistakes being honest I don't know it's 1 a.m.
I feel like you would be so interested in this kdrama called “The world of the married,”! It takes on so many issues with women having to deal with a cheating husband or else shamed because she is a divorcé. It has a lot of twists and I found its commentary and take quite interesting. Since you are obviously not a monogamous woman I think your take about the situation that goes down would be a great view point. It is inspired off of the english drama Doctor foster, but the kdrama actually finishes the story while doctor foster does not.
who the heck green lights all these movies that don't represent the communities they're supposed to be about? this series, Music, etc.. the general audiences watching them clearly aren't informed enough to know any better, but the people who claim to be authoritative enough to write and put them out??? where is the research. does journalistic integrity just not matter to people
I actually think most people would be pretty bored by an accurate portrayal of BDSM.
"So it's just nerds???" lol.
Did she say HOMEMADE boba 😭😭😭 at 1 AM
Haha yes!
pov: you've been watching kat blaque for years and still aren't entirely sure what copacetic or insidious means
I wanted to say that I love that you didn't call the woman following Christian 'crazy.' It is the default word in these situations and I find it incredibly sexist and unempathetic. So thank you!
11:38 *grimaces* "...who in some universes is considered attractive." 😂
🚁 as someone who is predictably vanilla (and would probably stay that way in the foreseeable future 😳) I'd just like to say thank you to you, Kat, for teaching me how BDSM is actually like 😳😳😳
This main character! You don't have to have experience with BDSM to look up/know what the acronym stands for
It isn’t an inaccurate portrayal of a BDSM relationship but it is an inaccurate portrayal of a _healthy_ BDSM relationship.
"Do I afraid you?" Christian Gray asks, licking his eyebrow.
PFFFT PLEASE I-
The worst part is, the series makes me love Ana. A character that is ran in the mud if you don't watch or read what you can stomach. Its because Ana is the only character written with love. If I had gotten the chance to write for her I would have given her a shitty happy ending where she grows out her bangs and kicks ass with her own place, getting what she deserves out of the growing she does in the story, to be the actual focus of her own story and not badly written men.
My fiance blew my mind when he compared it to r/menwritingwomen and my brains are everywhere.
your commentary is literally endlessly entertaining 😂 i would love to hear your thoughts on the movie Secretary with Maggie Gyllenhaal, i think it’s pretty widely regarded as the “more realistic” version of this story (also featuring a businessman named Mr. Grey)
is it a healthy example of bdsm?
@@mjamin9124 i’ve heard people say it is and others say it isn’t
David Spader in that movie is the hottest fucking thing, don't @ me
@@alexandrahoward3686 JAMES Spader, but yes he was at peak prettyness there! 😃
Me and my ex actually dressed up as Ana & a black Christian Grey that year at a community Halloween party lol
When a wattpad fantasy becomes a multimillion dollar franchise.
BTW, love the nails, makeup, and everything!
Thanks for bringing up the fact that women (or anyone for that matter) should be financially independent even when in a relationship if possible. I know too many women who won't leave a bad or abusive relationship because they have absolutely nothing for themselves, especially in the older generations when it was still more of the norm. It's often not talked about that trying to make someone financially dependent on you in a relationship can be an abuse tactic. 🚁
“Secretary” is great, and contains a Mr. Grey I would want to sub for! 🥇
Kat: Right now, I'm taking this class about being productive and staying on top of work.
Me: Watching a video about Fifty Shades 2 and totally not procrastinating, 100% on focus, for sure
🚁 🚁 I am binging some of your videos that I missed because I was so busy these last few weeks. Anyway, I didn't watch the second Fifth shades of gray, but I really loved your comments on abuse and isolation and on consent. Girlll, when you said that society likes to talk about consent but we don't really talk about it, we don't really accept when a woman say no, that's just so true. Most conversations on consent are so superficial.
And yes, I also believe Gray would be better as a submissive. However, you can understand how that would not be popular among the public because a submissive man would not reflect the kind of toxic masculinity our society loves and encourages so much.
I completely forgot there was a sequel but it’s more Kat content so I can’t complain.
There are three movies... three... the mind boggles.
5:15 if someone wants to change you might help them change. IF THEY DONT, LEAVE THEM ALONE. You can teach them to pretend, but if it wasn't their idea they might just agree to please you :/
Kat: drinking boba
*Russell Hartley has entered the chat*
I edited out my Russell Hartley joke lol
@@KatBlaque this does not surprise me
So HERE for your laid back look, as well as your eyeshadow -both suit you so much. Also a fan of your nail color. I love to listen to your videos while I cross stitch
Anyone deliberately ignoring your "no," even if it's to give you something, is a red flag like 99% of the time. It shows they see you as a pet or symbol rather than a person, and it may also be them just starting to test what they can get away with without you ending the relationship.
I love the clips of you watching the movie while doing your nails and sipping tea. Its is such a mood. Especially when you cheer Anna on when she's calling him out on his shit.
I've seen reviews of the 50 Shades movies, but not by anyone ingrained in the BDSM community. You added a lot of perspective to the way I view them for sure. I already had a bone to pick with the movie for its bland shots & the lack of chemistry between Anastasia and Christian. Not to mention the way it frames a clearly abusive relationship. I knew the work was in no way an accurate portrayal of BDSM relationships, but I'm happy to say I'm walking away from this video having learned something new about the actual dynamic of said relationships. Also, the makeup & hair is not looking trash at all. You're looking stunning as usual. ❤ This channel has become a fast favorite of mine, looking forward to see what you talk about next!
This is stupid but it's hard to focus when I can't stop thinking that you're skin looks impeccable...
🚁🚁🚁
When people are into manipulating and having power over people in real life, without their full knowledge or consent, that’s where the I consider it less of a kink and just plain abuse (though people often justify it as a kink). It’s funny how this movie both shames people who are into kink and romanticizes abusive behavior. Not surprising, but most movies suggest that with less detail.
Wow. His comments about the woman being so crazy and wanting more and attempting suicide for attention? Yeah pretty sure countless abusers have said that. One of the reasons they keep getting away with it, victims and people who are suicidal keep getting dismissed, why why their trauma continues to escalate.
Also like the portrayal of a woman who maybe wants to warn other women off a man of being a “creepy stalker.” Ive heard plenty of men and woman who prioritize men over women dismiss victims like this. Doesn’t matter that the man continues to do the same thing, even to those women who support abusers. It’s still somehow more distasteful to speak up about it than to do it.
(Note: haven’t finished the video yet!)
Having been in on the live hangouts of this edit, it's nice to see the final cut.
Thanks for coming ♥️♥️♥️
This movie should have been called The Secret Life of Straights. 🚁
The book is erotica, it was a failed project as soon as they decided to make it a main-stream movie
Kat your skin is FLAWLESS!!!!!!
Kat Blaque is my favourite film review channel.
I’m glad you addressed that sometimes we reenact our traumas in our kinky lives. Like for example, though this sounds fucked up, since I have been raped, I enjoy bdsm and consensually rape which basically means we have a safe word but I can struggle, say no, etc but he can still keep going. It’s fucked up but it’s how I deal with my trauma 😅😅
Omg can you PLEASE have a movie night on zoom or something??? Your reactions to the movie as it was going on had me in tears 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I came for the movie roast and stayed for the Holo Taco.
Edit: Chopper
kat's laugh is so refreshing. she is so bubbly in this video, we love to see it.
🚁 Christian grey as a sub would've been quite interesting
Just hearing about this series I felt like they were a toxic relationship. But then it's also the weird events that seem to fall between the first film and this one. But some random guy just sexually assaults Anna, possibly out of jealousy for Christian. And then the guy just disappears. Same thing with the girl who attacked Anna because she apparently used to be Christian's former submissive/slave.
After reading the series, I knew that the movies would infuriate me and didn't bother. It's so validating knowing Kat and I are in agreement.
Edit: I'm loving this series, it's like I'm watching movies with my bestie. So if you review the last movie, I'll make the exception 🚁🚁🚁
🚁This was a fun video! It kept me entertained while washing dishes haha
I really appreciated the point that some people practice BDSM as a way of creating their own boundaries and a sense of safe control. I'd never thought of it from that perspective but it makes a lot of sense and actually appeals to me, a vanilla, quite a lot! I've always been a little uncomfortable with the idea of BDSM because I dealt with emotional abuse growing up and still lowkey fear losing control to others. But looking at it through a setting-boundaries perspective, I quite like the idea :)
I have issues with this, so many issues. Gray is not the type of person that you would want to play with or be around in general, why would anyone want your jealous "boyfriend" thing to buy the company that you work with? Let alone the lack of boundaries when it comes to other people and the straight up stalkerish behavior
Is anyone even going to talk about how Anna even looks like your typical Y/N in every one of those x reader books and drawn fan fictions?🤔 Like she's got the lifestyle, she gets the “rich bad boy" and to put the cherry on top, everybody got a crush on her even though in my opinion, there's nothing about her that really stands out to me that could give an arguable explanation for how that even happens. The only thing she's missing is the signature long bangs that covers like 80% of her face.👀👀
"i have seen a lot of women go and give everything into their relationship and become completely dependant of the man and then when it's over, it leaves them devastated" mmmh wonder if part of that explains what happened to Christian's ex...
I think so!