Honestly one of my fave thing abt this movie was how it wasn't explicit and wasn't abt the sexual aspect of bdsm, and I find it very interesting that one of the most common cricism of the movie that I saw, was actually people compaining abt that. That they expected it to be very sexual and it wasn't. I think that shows how the big majority of media abt bdsm is very sexually explicit and because of that, people now associate bdsm with sex to the point where they can't fathom seeing a d/s relationship without sex.
Whole heartedly agree! I hate how shows and movies always tried to force seemingly pointless sexual situations between couples. It creates this idea that sex is inevitable, and creates expectation for the guy, and pressure for woman (generalizing genders). I'm not asexual by any means but gosh darn do I just want to see a couple have fun together, and show what a healthy relationship looks like *outside* the bedroom. I attribute most cishet couples centering their relationships around sex to the hyper focus of sex in literally *everything* we see.
The thing is, a lot of shows depict sex without being sexy, and this film is SO sexy! I'm picky about erotic films because they're often so lacking in actual storytelling or even the characters communicating with each other. Personally I think the give and take in two people slowly approaching each other about their needs and wants but also wanting to take care of each other is the sexiest damn thing. I think this is an area where kdramas have an advantage because they do have to be more conservative, so they can't just rely on sex scenes, so they have to focus more on the actual relationship. Not that US films can't do this, but the sex is so often just used as a crutch.
i never thought about it that way. i thought the movie was dry because she just tossed him around like. i was kinda like this is supose to be bdsm? but seeing your perspective makes me understand it better. tbh i was just kind of annoyed how people keep saying this is the most risky thing korea has ever made....which isnt true, as a lot of older korean movies are waay to explicit sexually in its image. so that annoyed me cause those comments made it seem like koreans are like these emotionless conservative beings when in reality koreans are like every other people on earth.
that's very interesting! because before the movie came out I binged the webtoon, and then found the movie a bit too explicit in comparison, so maybe give the webtoon a try! It's lovely and hilarious, the movie is a fantastic adaptation in my opinion
As a woman with dom inclinations, this movie was a delight. It was sweet, silly and sex-positive. That is why I was so excited to watch your opinion on it. You are the best!
As a sone I find interesting how we always thought of Seohyun as the reserved, and as you say, conservative one, in a way, and yet throughout her acting career she's been anything but, she's even played a lesbian before. I have always admired her work ethic . Stan girls'generation!
A BDSM movie about healthy boundaries, humility, consent, and some warm fuzzy feelings thrown in? I can't begin to explain how refreshing that is. Damn.
People here in America (in my experience) always shun me and some of my friends about watching Korean dramas and shows that don’t speak English. And it’s just like…I watch it because it’s good. Like that’s it😭 imagine me just passing up a good show because they don’t speak my language😩✋🏽
lol I always just say "well... it's your loss. I'll keep enjoying some of the best stories and adventures in my foreign dramas and film that you'll never be able to enjoy with your closed ass mind." lol
I think this is the same in most Western English speaking countries tbh. Partly because of the global cultural dominance of the US and partly because there's less expectation that you must learn a second language. It's a mess.
I'm surprised you didn't mention the fact that jihoo's ex girlfriend enjoyed the benefits of his submissive nature but didn't like it anymore once she found out where it came from.
I loved that they put that in there; it showed him as the more experienced partner despite being the sub, and it also served as a kind of warning to any new subs--some people will take advantage of your qualities, so find you a dominant who appreciates and supports you for who you are.
Agreed. A lot of kink spaces (at least online from what I've seen) tend to use sub as synonymous with "female" and dom as synonymous with "male" and it is. So. EXHAUSTING. Also v sick of toxic dudes hiding behind the dom title, both in the media and real life.
@@wendyWERKKZ right? and even for couples who do enjoy that kind of intense & sexual kink, they never show a healthy example of that - where both partners are equal outside of roleplay, communicate at length and carefully negotiate scenes & boundaries, do proper aftercare or have any aspect to their relationship outside of kinky sex and power exchange.
My partner, a male sub, is 35 years old and told me this is the first time in his whole life he's felt properly represented in a film. I was so happy for him but also upset to hear it. Everyone deserves to be understood and represented like this. No one should have to wait 35 years to be seen!
I just recently realised I'm into BDSM and this movie was a breath of fresh air because not only am I a dom-leaning woman but I'm also not a femme fatale style of woman so seeing someone on screen that is not super aggressive but still dominant was amazing
Yes! I think there’s almost a caricature of female doms that feels too theatrical for me to embody, and I am excited to see a domme with a somewhat different energy
Seohyun is a fucking queen and I'm so proud of her acting career so far. She's taken on a few difficult projects that a conservative society like South Korea would and have criticised her for but she ALWAYS comes out with fantastic performances.
I literally said "yay!" and clapped when I saw this video pop up in my feed. Just watched the movie last night and loved it. Eager to hear your view on it.
I'm not surprised with how hard Korean films are slapping right now. I mean, myself and others were genuinely worried that the zombie genre would forever be over saturated and die, then Train to Busan just drops like Obi-wan Kenobi *Hello there*
@@moonlightboykevin909 It sucks that Korean animation isn't big here in the West, especially since a lot of American animation companies (and maybe Japan idk) frequently outsourced to Korea.
I thought "wholesome" when I was watching it. But then I realized it's actually just a healthy depictions. The other BDSM examples in media are such trash, but this was great! I'm so glad you saw it!
What I really loved was how the film centers communication - like when Ji-woo asks online if it's normal not to have sex, and the TH-camr says "talk to your sub about what you want". My first thought was, "finally, a rom-com that says maybe people should communicate with each other! amazing!" It didn't rely on miscommunication as a source of humor, but for serious moments. There's also all these little details - like when they go to the arboretum, Ji-woo's hair clip is actually decorated with a chain 😂 And Ji-hoo had such touching lines when he talked about how he admired Ji-woo's "non-feminine" traits and what she meant to him as his dom. As an autistic woman who often comes across as brusque, serious, and non-smiling, those were the most touching parts of the film for me.
Two minutes into your video, I went and watched the movie. One of my favorite things was that it is feminine gaze, which I seem to go for. It subjectified as opposed to objectifying. It was absolutely adorable, sexy, and emotional. It was beautiful, honestly. I'm really happy to have watched it
OMG that's totally true. Surely the reason behind that is because the director is a woman! Hyeon-jin Park's work in this movie is so clean, and I'm so happy to see how it shows in all aspects
@@alizetvargas Kdramas and movies do have a lot of female writers/directors. It has to do with the dramas being targeted more towards women in general, so lovers of feminine gaze media will have a lot of options! I definitely want to see more of Hyeon-jin Park's work
Same! Came back here after watching it to avoid spoilers. The movie reminds me of The Red Sleeve, they're both directed by women and have a lot of clear but non-preachy messages about love and consent. I'm really glad I got into kdramas in time to see so many of the new, boundary-pushing shows.
As someone who is just figuring out I'm into kink, I think a lot of submissive men have to be pushy is that society expects men to be dominant and take control. Maybe this is just my experience as a bi dude, but the few dates I've gone on with women, they always expected me to take control and got pissed when I didn't.
Maybe, but some guys take it too far still. My first sexual experience involved me doing something to someone else because they coerced me and even physically forced me. It’s actually happened to a few people I know, all from submissive men. I’m not saying all submissive men do this, but it happens a lot and I think it’s looked over because “at least it’s not a dominant man”. Nobody should be too pushy about bedroom stuff in general because it leads to sexual coercion if not worse.
@@babyqeels I get what you mean, but there's a difference between ass@ult and just feeling like society is forcing you into a role you don't fit in. I recently dated a girl who tried to force me to be more d0minant and even did stuff in public that made me really uncomfortable, then got angry and me and questioned my masculinity as a trans man when I wouldn't do what she wanted. It was not a healthy relationship and I'm glad she ended up cheating on me eventually.
@@josukeshair8891 yea, it was a big learning experience for me tbh, I just don't attract healthy women because of my own trauma with stuff. But dating her helped me shake the societal expectation of needing to be d0minant as a man and helped me start getting into kink in a more open and honest way because I realized how fucked up that relationship was.
RIP my review I was going to film tomorrow lol! I watched this the day after it was released on Netflix but I have been too busy to rewatch it and take notes for a review 😭
I don't think video reviews really suffer at all from "this person already did it" like video essays do. If someone makes a video essay, people usually do not want to watch a video detailing the same points as another, but people like to relive a series they've watched through reviews so they watch one after another to get that "hit" of having watched it.
Im watching this movie right now and wow, it feels so different compared to the usual toxic-male-dom crap we get... it just feels so... HUMAN?? The dom and sub have respect for each other, there's no threatening, scary jealousy, it's just so normal. I guess the bar really IS low, when im gushing over a silly and healthy portrayal of a bdsm relationship, like, this should be the norm...
Thank you for talking about being forced to Dom. People have no idea, just how close to sexual assault that can get, mentally and emotionally. You're still being dehumanized. Only now you have the illusion of power, and they have the illusion of vulnerability. And it just makes the gaslighting so easy. You get all the responsibility and the guilt and the lack of any concern about you at all....and that's how you're taught to define strength. It feels like being useful, and not making any mistakes at all. Strength feels like obedience. And that's assuming you even know what you're doing. Or they can tell you what you're supposed to do. The women who did this to me...I was luckier than you. I was trained in dominance years before by a close friend, so it wasn't traumatic. Just...depressing. I can't trust any other submissives anymore. And since some of the submissives who did this pretended to be Dominants first? I can't even trust my own vulnerabilities. Don't get me wrong. It's not as bad as what others have gone through. It's not as bad as the rape was. I'm not saying that at all. And I hope no sub feels the takeaway from this is to be ashamed of their desires - it really can be magic with the right person who doesn't forget you're a person too. But there's almost no awareness of this issue at all. It's like almost everyone's afraid that even talking about it, will ruin the fantasy. And the fantasy's all they really want from BDSM.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Even though BDSM has power dynamics there needs to be an equal exchange of respecting boundaries and consent and being mindful of the other person's well-being, physically and emotionally
Sending you lots of internet hugs. A friend of mine experienced an assault while being forced to dom someone and it was really traumatic for them. You're not alone.
"Strength feels like obedience". There's a movie that explores exactly what you are expressing, called The Duke of Burgundy. It's not a depressing movie and I think you might find it very relatable.
about the honorifics stuff, other than the scene where jihoo asks jiwoo to yell at him they always speak to each other very formally until they decide to date also the korean comments ive seen about the movie have all been pretty positive :)
this movie was such a refreshing film for such a heavy topic, I feel like the way bdsm is represented here in the west is so violent and sometimes the representation feels borderline non-consensual and I blame the porn industry for that, this film not only managed to show a healthy bdsm relationship but it also taught me a lot about bdsm that I didn't know about prior to watching the film
What I really loved from this movie was her “domme stare”. Like, you can see it in her eyes, which is something I’ve always found to be true when it comes to certain people
Jihoo notices it it too, and and isn't scared, but says that he knows why she does it - Jiwoo wants to look at things with her full attention. He really gets her in a different way than anyone else did it was so wonderful and sweet to see.
I remember watching something similar to this called “Be my pet” based off a Japanese manga called “Tramps like us” turned into a Korean movie. It’s also about a women dealing with similar stereotypes and this more sweet submissive man, that she literally treated like a support animal lol, you might like that one too.
@@ChicNique23 this movie is based of a korean webtoon called "the sensual m" or "moral sense" in english, the plot is pretty much the same but things are different cuz the movie is compressed, the comic is really cute one of the most wholesome things ive read tbh
For Kimi wa Petto, I don't think there's a dom-sub relationship either in a sexual way either even just for foreplay. Her dog died when she was little and when she needed emotional support because she couldn't handle all the work mentally anymore, she discovered this guy abandoned like a dog that awful people abandoned in the street. And since he looks so much like her dog (because of his hair especially), she adopted him.
@@queenwednesdayart No, no one sent him for her ^^ He was literally in the carboard box when she found him xD And don't worry, this is not a spoil because what I said you can see it in the 1st episode.
the best thing about this movie was that it wasnt about the sex. it wasnt made to be a soft porn. it wasnt only about it, they get to it eventually but their relationship as a dom/sub its more than that and they get to show more nuances of relations of bdsm couples AND WITH A MALE SUB WHICH IS AWESOME FOR A CHANGE!!! and other thing, showing that bdsm can and is most of the times coming from a place of pleasure, from a place of desire and not from a personal trauma or some shit like that and “cant love normally” and NOT ONLY THAT: the CONSENT, THE RESEARCH, THE *LIMITS*. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS MOVIE SCREAMS PERFECTION.
I totally agree that there should be more movies with a femme dom!! There has been a push for it in modern webcomics and some mangas but most of them are usually sex-focused and have one-dimensional characters. This movie looks really cute! Too bad I don't think I'm gonna return to my Netflix subscription anytime soon. Your animal print outfit looks beautiful on you btw. I kinda like when animal print uses fantasy colors like purple ^o^
I watched love and leashes and am reading the webcomic series rn! It’s one of the best examples of healthy bdsm that I’ve found and I love it so much!!
i'm not into bdsm and didn't know much about it before watching this movie, but one big misconception i had was that i thought bdsm HAD to involve sex, even if it didn't involve a romantic relationship! so watching it i was honestly kinda confused and wondered if they were just like ignoring the sex aspect because they didn't want the movie to be too erotic?? but now watching your review and learning that bdsm doesn't have to involve sex at all (and you personally had an experience like that) i'm like woah!! that's so interesting and so different from how it's typically portrayed in media. it's always great to learn about different lifestyles and i really enjoyed both the movie and this review ❤️
i'm not going to finish the video, because as soon as you started talking about the plot i was like WAIT, NO, I NEED TO WATCH THIS MYSELF! so i'll see you when i'm done, i guess lol
loved this review! i actually was passing on this movie because i was expecting it to just use bdsm as a gimmick to lure in the audience and then go on to switch to them ending up in a vanilla relationship in a sex-negative, bdsm-negative type of way, but i should have known better since seohyun's a very intelligent woman who picks her scripts very purposefully, i shouldn't have doubted her lol. she's actually been in some dramas and has another movie coming up! her drama "private lives" is on netflix, it's pretty enjoyable as well! just for clarification since i'm a stan, while her image under sm entertainment was indeed pretty conservative and she leans towards a mature, reserved aesthetic even after leaving the company, since she clearly identifies with that, she has consistently expressed progressive views (feminist, pro lgtbq+, anti conservative nationalism, at least!), and has been careful with picking her scripts that don't clash with those beliefs. i shouldn't be surprised this isn't an exception to that, but ig i've just lost my faith in media that markets itself around bdsm lol EDIT: what a coincidence the love and leashes review came out right when i'm the middle of a binge of your bdsm movie reviews lol
This was cute. It’s also nice to see female dominant representation that isn’t the extreme caricature you can see at times. There were times I’ve wondered if I could switch over, but I can’t bring myself to be as theatrically intense as all that. Maybe there’s a space for female doms that look different than the typical porn influenced representation.
Your leopard print outfit, the green behind you and the light on your skin all come together in a beautiful ensemble. It all kind of reminds me of a Bettie Page picture. 🐆🖤💛
Because of this movie, I have consumed all of the English translations available online for the original webcomic of the movie Love and Leashes!! It's under a different name called Moral Sense, but it is super fascinating as they have a healthy bdsm relationship and also educates us viewers on the bdsm basics with such a healthy view ❤️🥰 edit: I really hope more people translate moral sense, or that the webtoon keeps releasing most of it, Moral Sense is not a new comic and while I also feel conflicted about the profit that the author could be losing I just wish I get to consume their comic soon 😭😭😭
The comic is actually translated in English on the Webtoon app for free, you do have to wait for a day in between each episode and it's not fully released yet but I think it's worth it to support the creator (unless you meant that you already read all the episodes that are on there, in which case you can ignore this lol)
@@mistywolfmulti2639 I checked at webtoon first, and that's why I resorted to the online scans :'( but you're right I should support the author! Being impatient is no excuse
omg yesss a SONE 💗. I've seen your comments all around kpop content on youtube's comment section but it's nice to see a confirmation 😅. I've always had this impression that Seohyun really wants to challenge herself with her roles, do something to break this " Nation's Girl Group angelic maknae" persona that the public might have on her. Excited to watch the entire video ☺️🍿
i'm so happy we have a movie that shines light on bdsm and is EDUCATIONAL. it did catch a bit a fire for being advertised really big in public and people were concerned for a younger(middle school and below) taking these topics lightly but i hope it brings a better outcome than 50 shades did.
holy shit holy fuck hearing you talk about your domination trauma felt so validating people cant imagine that there are situations that can genuinely put you off dominating in a very deep and emotional way, no matter what kind of person you are
you said in this video how you were 19 and someone forced you to be dom. i had the exact same experience, i was 16 with my first boyfriend, i had only lost my virginity a month prior and he started saying hey be dominant and peg me and spank me etc etc i said i wasn't comfortable with doing so and he would start crying and begging me (one time he said if i don't do it he would rxpe me anally, which he did go through, i now have a massive scar there). i felt so pressured to do this and after i broke up with him I've been submissive since. 5 years later and I'm getting a bit of my dominace back but only in cases I'm sleeping with women.
Crikey, that's intense; especially for someone so young, as well as so early in your sexual experiences. I'm saddened you experienced that, and hope you're able to do healing work as you're ready for it! I've had my own trauma experiences and while I don't know much (if at all) it plays into it, I find it interesting to see someone else mention a 'gendered split' in their play. Mine is the opposite though; I generally top with men & bottom with women. I have wondered over the years if it *is* trauma-influenced, particularly because the only man I've ever been able to bottom for was my ex-husband (& this was a rare thing anyway, as he's far more submissive), and he's literally the only man I've ever been able to fully trust and allow myself to let my guard down completely with. Heck, even today, 10+ years after our divorce & both of us in new long-term relationships, I would still trust him with my life. Anyway, again, I'm sorry you experienced those things, and glad to hear you're out of that relationship & seem to be in healthier spaces these days!
@@brendaleelydon this was 5 years ago so i am moving on slowly, I've had way worse experiences after that but none seemed to effect me more than that first one. that experience also led me to get severe depression so all my grades dropped and due to other mental illnesses (and also grief due to my ex boyfriend of 3 years suicide) I've been on a sick note ever since. only two weeks ago did i get a job which shows I'm improving and getting more motivation. being submissive takes a lot of trust towards the dom so its no surprise i youve only been able to be submissive in your long term relationship. also i personally put a lot more trust towards women than men (due to my experiences with men) so it also makes sense you would be submissive with women more. i find i can be dom around women more also due to feeling more confident around them, but also it could just be a preference i have.
I agree I definitely loved watching this movie due the fact these characters have humanistic and relatable characteristics. In all sincerity, I definitely was shocked that there was a Korean BDSM movie. Growing up in a predominantly Asian culture household. Talking about this stuff is definitely taboo and is seen as a perversion. I had to watch this movie myself and while watching it I was teary to see how much Eastern culture progressing when it comes to sexuality. I even noticed there are trend that has been going recently in discussing about mental health as well. I’m rooting for my community to continue to mature more when it comes to sensitive topics like these. Overall a great experience.
I'd recommend reading the original webtoon of it as it gives more insight into why the characters are the way tht they are (which they skipped in the movie) and gives more info on healthy bdsm relationships :)
Yes! So glad you talked about this movie. It is SO ridiculously adorable and wholesome! Regarding how pushy submissive men can be: 100% true. I am a switch but have increasingly gotten more comfortable with playing top/dom and I have sometimes found that expressing that causes me to get really uncomfortable messages from submissive men. I don't do fetlife anymore because of how often that would happen. I had a dynamic that was on and off for a few years that was initiated by the submissive (this was very comfy and mutual though). So this move reflects my own experiences for sure. And I also love that they show his eagerness because it helps show that how one acts in the "real world" isn't necessarily going to translate into what you want in a kink dynamic. Like he is very able to advocate for what he wants but also is a submissive. And I love you brought up how caring it is! Such a lovely change a pace! I love this movie.
I LOVED the Movie! I love it sheds light on the danger of pretending to be in BDSM. There are so many perpetrators that put ppl at risk. Vanilla ppl always think of bdsm as steamy sex, but sex is probably the last thing on your mind when in a scene. Especially if you are Dom'ng.
i'm only 10 minutes in, but about the d/s roles and how that relates to real life: jiwoo is a socially dominant woman, who is always told that she can't be dominant, that she has to be more submissive in her work/life/etc. she always has to go against her instincts, against her personality and drive, in order to be accepted. and now comes jihoo who offers (finally!!) an outlet for her to be herself! and to be appreciated, and encouraged to be herself, and to be in control! i think it's still what kat was talking about, just framed differently. edit: WHO'S JISOO?? THE FUCK?? his name is jiHoo, and i am ashamed 🤦♂️
Not sure if youve heard of it before, but there is a pretty highly acclaimed Finnish film with Female dom-male sub set up. The film is called Dogs Don't Wear Pants, you can stream it from TH-cam. Might be interesting to you! :)
I watched the movie quite recently. It was an interesting thing to experience. Mostly because I am not used to seeing this kind of topic on television, especially on Korean television. As someone who loves kpop and learning more about BDSM, this movie really interested me.
Im so glad you love the movie! As SOON as I finished the movie, I thought ‘Kat has to see this!’ I love your movie reviews and I’m a Kpop fan too! 2007 was my entrance year. Wonder Girls and Super Junior 🤣 *Love the animal separates and curly fro ♥️
I think you’re right when you say that BDSM is an escape from the way people really live their lives. Even tho Ji-woo is a naturally more dominant person, we can see how much of the time, power and control is taken away from her. Like when we see how she isn’t taken seriously at work and is always expected to be somewhat submissive to the men around her, it makes sense that she would then have an interest in taking that control back by the way of BDSM. I think especially since Ji-hoo was the one technically taking power away from her by being taken more seriously since he is a man, it would make their entire dynamic all the more appealing to her. I think that’s why I really like the way that they showed how the power dynamic is in everyday life and then contrasted that with the way it is during their private scenes together.
I like how simple the story goes and how fast it is, straight to the point y'know lol (plotwise). I'm no big fan of dense movies myself, 😅 as I'm pretty easy to please so I like media that can just take me from my real life for just some minutes and I think the movie did it for me (also while watching I found the BDMS content was dealt pretty well but since I'm not in the community it's nice to hear your thoughts on it!
Fun fact: this movie is based off a comic! It goes by the same name, and while there seems to be a lot of changes the movie is definitely a sort of retelling of the comic. The comic is free to read on Webtoons, and it’s currently one of my favorite comics- and, obviously, the comic goes into much more detail on the story and relationships. I’ve actually been wanting to watch this movie since hearing about it is what got me into the comic, but I’m holding out right now until I’ve finished reading the comic. I’m kinda glad I watched this video though and got some spoilers to get me used to how different the movie is gonna be from the comic, but I still can’t wait to watch it myself!
i'm not someone who's ever practiced BDSM, so i'm glad i was right about it seeming like a healthy relationship! for what it's worth, the male lead (lee junyoung) was also in an idol group, so i'm really happy both of them were courageous enough to take the roles :)
I watched this movie when it popped up on my netflix a few weeks ago and immediately thought of you and hoped you would review it!! I found it really refreshing and despite it not having any actual sex scenes, way sexier than most bdsm movies that are popular. I think honestly just seeing two people really enjoying themselves and learning together was just way more engaging and pleasant. I hope people make more BDSM movies like this!
YESSSS!!!! I was hoping you'd cover it. I just watched it last night and it was so cute and I was so happy they actually had CONVERSATIONS about everything. Ugh, what a breath of fresh air. Also, I freaking love your outfit!
Hey Kat, so I am not Korean nor do I speak the language but I am from czech republic and we have a similar thing to have different way to adress people differently. It is not necesserily about hierachry more like showing your relationship with people around you. In czech we have for example formal and informal way to speak to people. So if you meet a new person you will adress each other in a formal manner. Exception being if you are teenagers, then you will probably adress each other informally. There is a chance Korean language might have different rules but from what I understood it should be the difference between formal and informal as well.
I loved EVERYTHING about this movie, I thought it was so so sweet, and so respectfully done. Huge fan, and I'm always happy to see things like this come out of my motherland
I'm so glad you made a video on this! I really don't know much about bsdm, but watching this movie I felt like they did a great job explaining. Your video confirmed it for me c:
I saw the comic version pop up and read a few chapters and then I was surprised that there was a movie adaptation. My only thought at the time was "Kat would love this" lol
Oh my gosh I didn't even know there was a movie. I'm a big fan of the webtoon it's based on. Definitely gotta check it out now and it seems different from the webtoon (probably because it's a movie). I'm excited to watch it. Maybe you could check out the webtoon and then give us your opinions on that.😃
I thought that there were no updates too because I was reading it on my desktop, but then I found out that you have to download the webtoon app to read the rest of it.
I was debating myself whether to watch it or not bc I've had reservations of how mainstream media portrays bdsm, but I'm so glad to find out from your video that that's not the case. I'll def be putting it on watch list
I'm with you on this review. I'm not into BDSM, but I love Kpop/Kdramas and Jun and Seohyun are favs as well. I have friends who do BDSM and I've always been struck by the respect they emphasize and that is usually lacking in ANY BDSM movie or show. I really loved how throughout this movie, our main characters never stopped respecting or caring for each other. Making sure that each member of the couple are okay and treated decently is so lacking in most media these days, even in "normal" stories. But that care and attention was always upfront and center throughout this movie and that was nice to see.
Just a suggestion for a BDSM movie with a fem dom: "Going Under" which came out in 2004. It's one of the better, more nuanced portrayals that I've seen.
"The reality of it, if you want me to top you, to dominate you I don't know what the f! I'm doing or how to do it so you're not gonna get a satisfactory thing from me." - Yes! Thank you! I've been with men who are switches and they know I'm not a switch. I'm a sub and don't dom under any circumstance. But sometimes I'll get someone who's like, it's not that deep/hard just try it and I never know how to articulate that it is that deep (for me) and that I will give such a lackluster experience because I'm not feeling it and because dominating someone doesn't do anything for me mentally, psychologically, emotionally or physically and it has to in order for me to give someone what they need and I'm so glad you articulated it. 💖
I gotta watch this, seems so cute!!! I love your idea that maybe the honorifics in Korean culture have an impact on the power dynamics between people and how that could influence BDSM interactions, that's a whole thesis lol I'd love if someone actually researched that.
I read the comic version on webtoons, it's really nice to have media about BDSM that's more about the intimacy of a power dynamic and less about the sex!
i thought it was such a great depiction of what bdsm/ds play is/should be. i like that they also brought up a lot of safety such as safe word(s)/gesture and aftercare
i was really really happy when i noticed and watched this movie on netflix. i feel that because it did not follow american conventions of how bdsm and sex in general is depicted in shows and movies, it showed sides and truths to bdsm that i, someone used to american depictions, rarely got to see. and seeing that made it feel so much more real and accurate. despite the fact that i actually have no experience doing anything with anybody, it put a pin on so many feelings for me not just as a non-sexual masochist, it even managed to put a pin on other feelings i've had that i've never seen represented before. and honestly that means a lot to me.
As a person in a relationship similar to the movie, I really felt represented and it was so so cool to see more content of this type, especially in such a well thought way. Thank you so much for introducing me to this!
i loved hearing what YOU thought bout this movie as a person who is in the bdsm realm and i couldnt agree more....this movie is beautiful with the perfect amount of spice and rather correct information!
I know a lot of people who don't understand that some Dom's gets satisfaction just by taking care of their Sub. Cause is like the satisfaction that the sub gets from their Dom satisfies the Dom. And some people like he's Ex, believe that somethings is gotta give back it can't always be him sub. But they don't get that he is already giving back.
Also as someone who went in basically expecting Korean 50 shades, I was extremely happy how much I could relate to this. Most of my doming experience comes from non sexual platonic play sessions with close friends. So having a non sexual d/s relationship shown was wonderful for me(and my friends I watched it with who both practice BDSM and d/s)
Exit to Eden was a female dom and a male sub and non heteronormative, and I was and older book too! The book definitely showcases this more, but maybe you could review both the film and the movie and give your thoughts?
I love the animal print set! I also love the explanation of a dominant as someone who demands that you love and take care of and improve upon yourself. That is beautiful and what I had hoped. Have still not gotten the chance to dive in as it's hard to find people in Texas who are open to much of anything....
1 minute in. I also watched it because I like SNSD and Seohyun was one of my biases, lol. I tend to watch K-dramas based on rec's and actors I like, so I am looking forward to what you think of this.
I'm a big K-drama fan and this was a great movie! I was happy that they didn't do what all the other BDSM movies have done. Loved it! Thanks for your take Kat!
Seconding for more diverse films in this series of reviews! This one was so refreshing, if there are others with the “reverse” dynamic I want to see them and your thoughts on them 🥰
Totally agree on the experience requirement and coming across pushy subs. It's forever a struggle. I absolutely loved all of this movie! Happy to see your review too
I had a great time watching it, it's very good for korean romcoms standards also (in my opinion obvs) Anyways, great to see your thoughts on it. Also I loved the main leads chemistry together
I've just watched it, and I loved it! The team respected the webtoon, and I recommend reading it before watching the film because It fills up many gaps. The most satisfying thing is how they encourage and reassure each other. 😍😍😍
i was looking forward to this movie for months because the male lead is a member of my favourite kpop group, and after watching it i really wanted to know what people who take part in BDSM in real life thought of it! Personally I thought it was sweet and a much more positive representation of a sub/dom relationship, glad to see it got positive reception from other people as well!
Which is why compared to 50 shades of gray, Love and Leashes is just realistic and doesn't depict either parties as a monster within those intimate scenes.
Watching this movie, i've realised that im actually into bdsm(and am a dom). I have watched a LOT of kdrama's but I've never had felt this attracted to a guy before. Submissive men just do it for me I guess lol
Finally media I can actually enjoy, get that "are you lost babygorl?" shit away from me- I am totally not lurking in the comment section to find similar material 👀 I am a big fan of SNSD but I never knew Seohyun acted in this movie, that was such a pleasant surprise! It is funny how when I was younger, I could relate to her for being reserved and very ladylike but look at us now hahah, we love the duality 💖💕
Honestly one of my fave thing abt this movie was how it wasn't explicit and wasn't abt the sexual aspect of bdsm, and I find it very interesting that one of the most common cricism of the movie that I saw, was actually people compaining abt that.
That they expected it to be very sexual and it wasn't. I think that shows how the big majority of media abt bdsm is very sexually explicit and because of that, people now associate bdsm with sex to the point where they can't fathom seeing a d/s relationship without sex.
Whole heartedly agree! I hate how shows and movies always tried to force seemingly pointless sexual situations between couples. It creates this idea that sex is inevitable, and creates expectation for the guy, and pressure for woman (generalizing genders). I'm not asexual by any means but gosh darn do I just want to see a couple have fun together, and show what a healthy relationship looks like *outside* the bedroom. I attribute most cishet couples centering their relationships around sex to the hyper focus of sex in literally *everything* we see.
@@im_a_chair5556 I’m ace, so obviously I agree with y’all lol 😂
The thing is, a lot of shows depict sex without being sexy, and this film is SO sexy! I'm picky about erotic films because they're often so lacking in actual storytelling or even the characters communicating with each other. Personally I think the give and take in two people slowly approaching each other about their needs and wants but also wanting to take care of each other is the sexiest damn thing. I think this is an area where kdramas have an advantage because they do have to be more conservative, so they can't just rely on sex scenes, so they have to focus more on the actual relationship. Not that US films can't do this, but the sex is so often just used as a crutch.
i never thought about it that way. i thought the movie was dry because she just tossed him around like. i was kinda like this is supose to be bdsm? but seeing your perspective makes me understand it better. tbh i was just kind of annoyed how people keep saying this is the most risky thing korea has ever made....which isnt true, as a lot of older korean movies are waay to explicit sexually in its image. so that annoyed me cause those comments made it seem like koreans are like these emotionless conservative beings when in reality koreans are like every other people on earth.
that's very interesting! because before the movie came out I binged the webtoon, and then found the movie a bit too explicit in comparison, so maybe give the webtoon a try! It's lovely and hilarious, the movie is a fantastic adaptation in my opinion
“People think I’m a dom because I’m a tall black woman who likes herself”
The haters are quaking
As a woman with dom inclinations, this movie was a delight. It was sweet, silly and sex-positive. That is why I was so excited to watch your opinion on it. You are the best!
Same! I adored this movie, and felt seen and represented for me.
As a sone I find interesting how we always thought of Seohyun as the reserved, and as you say, conservative one, in a way, and yet throughout her acting career she's been anything but, she's even played a lesbian before. I have always admired her work ethic . Stan girls'generation!
I love her so much, I'm actually don't keep up with her acting stuff but in the shows she was in with snsd she did always seem like the most reserved.
omg she was in girl's generation?? amazing!!
yes!! hello dracula, right? honestly mad respect for Seohyun!
omg in what show or movie did she play a lesbian??
@@nanamiharuka3269 the series is Hello Dracula, though it's kinda sad because you know homophobia towards her character
A BDSM movie about healthy boundaries, humility, consent, and some warm fuzzy feelings thrown in? I can't begin to explain how refreshing that is. Damn.
People here in America (in my experience) always shun me and some of my friends about watching Korean dramas and shows that don’t speak English. And it’s just like…I watch it because it’s good. Like that’s it😭 imagine me just passing up a good show because they don’t speak my language😩✋🏽
I get you! I feel the same. Like I’m going let a language barrier stop me from enjoying art! 🤣🤣
Same. I love C-Dramas too.
lol I always just say "well... it's your loss. I'll keep enjoying some of the best stories and adventures in my foreign dramas and film that you'll never be able to enjoy with your closed ass mind." lol
I think this is the same in most Western English speaking countries tbh. Partly because of the global cultural dominance of the US and partly because there's less expectation that you must learn a second language. It's a mess.
@Lamou Lamou I guess not😭
I'm surprised you didn't mention the fact that jihoo's ex girlfriend enjoyed the benefits of his submissive nature but didn't like it anymore once she found out where it came from.
I loved that they put that in there; it showed him as the more experienced partner despite being the sub, and it also served as a kind of warning to any new subs--some people will take advantage of your qualities, so find you a dominant who appreciates and supports you for who you are.
Amen 🙏😔@@WynneL
its nice to see positive femaIe dom maIe sub representation, i just wish maIe doms in media were more Iike this and not just super creepy and toxic
Ikr, mdom need more positive representation otherwise I feel like this would give a very bad reputation of BDSM and a dom.
The fifty shade guy is so creepy
Right! Something that’s more care/ nurture centered and not so forceful sex centered 😓
Agreed. A lot of kink spaces (at least online from what I've seen) tend to use sub as synonymous with "female" and dom as synonymous with "male" and it is. So. EXHAUSTING. Also v sick of toxic dudes hiding behind the dom title, both in the media and real life.
@@wendyWERKKZ right? and even for couples who do enjoy that kind of intense & sexual kink, they never show a healthy example of that - where both partners are equal outside of roleplay, communicate at length and carefully negotiate scenes & boundaries, do proper aftercare or have any aspect to their relationship outside of kinky sex and power exchange.
My partner, a male sub, is 35 years old and told me this is the first time in his whole life he's felt properly represented in a film.
I was so happy for him but also upset to hear it. Everyone deserves to be understood and represented like this. No one should have to wait 35 years to be seen!
Awe that’s amazing
Wow that’s amazing to hear
I just recently realised I'm into BDSM and this movie was a breath of fresh air because not only am I a dom-leaning woman but I'm also not a femme fatale style of woman so seeing someone on screen that is not super aggressive but still dominant was amazing
Yes! I think there’s almost a caricature of female doms that feels too theatrical for me to embody, and I am excited to see a domme with a somewhat different energy
@@jazwhoaskedforthis Yeah same, makes feel a bit relieved honestly.
Seohyun is a fucking queen and I'm so proud of her acting career so far. She's taken on a few difficult projects that a conservative society like South Korea would and have criticised her for but she ALWAYS comes out with fantastic performances.
I literally said "yay!" and clapped when I saw this video pop up in my feed. Just watched the movie last night and loved it. Eager to hear your view on it.
I'm not surprised with how hard Korean films are slapping right now. I mean, myself and others were genuinely worried that the zombie genre would forever be over saturated and die, then Train to Busan just drops like Obi-wan Kenobi
*Hello there*
Have you seen all of us are dead?
@@nocturnal6876 I binged that in three days when I should've been studying lmao 💀
@@gem9535 But what about South Korean animation?
@@kittykittybangbang9367 omg now that you've mentioned it... I HAVE NOT SEEN A SINGLE KOREAN ANIMATED SHOW??! I've only seen webtoon and that's it...
@@moonlightboykevin909 It sucks that Korean animation isn't big here in the West, especially since a lot of American animation companies (and maybe Japan idk) frequently outsourced to Korea.
I thought "wholesome" when I was watching it. But then I realized it's actually just a healthy depictions. The other BDSM examples in media are such trash, but this was great! I'm so glad you saw it!
What I really loved was how the film centers communication - like when Ji-woo asks online if it's normal not to have sex, and the TH-camr says "talk to your sub about what you want". My first thought was, "finally, a rom-com that says maybe people should communicate with each other! amazing!" It didn't rely on miscommunication as a source of humor, but for serious moments. There's also all these little details - like when they go to the arboretum, Ji-woo's hair clip is actually decorated with a chain 😂 And Ji-hoo had such touching lines when he talked about how he admired Ji-woo's "non-feminine" traits and what she meant to him as his dom. As an autistic woman who often comes across as brusque, serious, and non-smiling, those were the most touching parts of the film for me.
It's starting to occur to me that miscommunication played as comedy is perhaps the trope I hate the most, big or small scenes/arc.
@@cheskaarana6097 Same! It's not only tedious, it's an unhealthy depiction.
"Your poodle has a thick ass neck" fucking broke me. End me right here LMFAOOOOO 💀🤣🤣🤣💀🙏🏽
Two minutes into your video, I went and watched the movie. One of my favorite things was that it is feminine gaze, which I seem to go for. It subjectified as opposed to objectifying. It was absolutely adorable, sexy, and emotional. It was beautiful, honestly. I'm really happy to have watched it
OMG that's totally true. Surely the reason behind that is because the director is a woman! Hyeon-jin Park's work in this movie is so clean, and I'm so happy to see how it shows in all aspects
@@alizetvargas Kdramas and movies do have a lot of female writers/directors. It has to do with the dramas being targeted more towards women in general, so lovers of feminine gaze media will have a lot of options! I definitely want to see more of Hyeon-jin Park's work
@@secretlybees I think that's one of the reasons why I love k dramas so much
Same! Came back here after watching it to avoid spoilers. The movie reminds me of The Red Sleeve, they're both directed by women and have a lot of clear but non-preachy messages about love and consent. I'm really glad I got into kdramas in time to see so many of the new, boundary-pushing shows.
As someone who is just figuring out I'm into kink, I think a lot of submissive men have to be pushy is that society expects men to be dominant and take control. Maybe this is just my experience as a bi dude, but the few dates I've gone on with women, they always expected me to take control and got pissed when I didn't.
I'm in a relationship with a man rn and I wish he would let me push him around from time to time but yk, toxic maculinity💀
Maybe, but some guys take it too far still. My first sexual experience involved me doing something to someone else because they coerced me and even physically forced me. It’s actually happened to a few people I know, all from submissive men. I’m not saying all submissive men do this, but it happens a lot and I think it’s looked over because “at least it’s not a dominant man”. Nobody should be too pushy about bedroom stuff in general because it leads to sexual coercion if not worse.
@@babyqeels I get what you mean, but there's a difference between ass@ult and just feeling like society is forcing you into a role you don't fit in. I recently dated a girl who tried to force me to be more d0minant and even did stuff in public that made me really uncomfortable, then got angry and me and questioned my masculinity as a trans man when I wouldn't do what she wanted. It was not a healthy relationship and I'm glad she ended up cheating on me eventually.
@@milesclay2209 are u okay •now 😞???
@@josukeshair8891 yea, it was a big learning experience for me tbh, I just don't attract healthy women because of my own trauma with stuff. But dating her helped me shake the societal expectation of needing to be d0minant as a man and helped me start getting into kink in a more open and honest way because I realized how fucked up that relationship was.
RIP my review I was going to film tomorrow lol! I watched this the day after it was released on Netflix but I have been too busy to rewatch it and take notes for a review 😭
I'm still very excited for ur review. This is the first bdsm movie, tv show, book, etc... I've ever actually enjoyed.
I don't think video reviews really suffer at all from "this person already did it" like video essays do. If someone makes a video essay, people usually do not want to watch a video detailing the same points as another, but people like to relive a series they've watched through reviews so they watch one after another to get that "hit" of having watched it.
Please still do it!!
@@floofzykitty5072 thank you. that's probably true. Its just harder when it's a very niche subject like this
Plz upload your review! I actually looked for it after i finished editing mine!
Im watching this movie right now and wow, it feels so different compared to the usual toxic-male-dom crap we get... it just feels so... HUMAN?? The dom and sub have respect for each other, there's no threatening, scary jealousy, it's just so normal. I guess the bar really IS low, when im gushing over a silly and healthy portrayal of a bdsm relationship, like, this should be the norm...
I'm loving the depiction of a dominant woman in ANY context besides a latex wearing career dominatrix!! Finally!
Thank you for talking about being forced to Dom. People have no idea, just how close to sexual assault that can get, mentally and emotionally.
You're still being dehumanized. Only now you have the illusion of power, and they have the illusion of vulnerability. And it just makes the gaslighting so easy.
You get all the responsibility and the guilt and the lack of any concern about you at all....and that's how you're taught to define strength. It feels like being useful, and not making any mistakes at all. Strength feels like obedience.
And that's assuming you even know what you're doing. Or they can tell you what you're supposed to do.
The women who did this to me...I was luckier than you. I was trained in dominance years before by a close friend, so it wasn't traumatic. Just...depressing. I can't trust any other submissives anymore. And since some of the submissives who did this pretended to be Dominants first? I can't even trust my own vulnerabilities.
Don't get me wrong. It's not as bad as what others have gone through. It's not as bad as the rape was. I'm not saying that at all. And I hope no sub feels the takeaway from this is to be ashamed of their desires - it really can be magic with the right person who doesn't forget you're a person too. But there's almost no awareness of this issue at all.
It's like almost everyone's afraid that even talking about it, will ruin the fantasy. And the fantasy's all they really want from BDSM.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Even though BDSM has power dynamics there needs to be an equal exchange of respecting boundaries and consent and being mindful of the other person's well-being, physically and emotionally
Sending you lots of internet hugs. A friend of mine experienced an assault while being forced to dom someone and it was really traumatic for them. You're not alone.
"Strength feels like obedience". There's a movie that explores exactly what you are expressing, called The Duke of Burgundy. It's not a depressing movie and I think you might find it very relatable.
As someone who's had a similar experience with my ex-girlfriend, you have my solidarity. I'm sorry this happened to you.
about the honorifics stuff, other than the scene where jihoo asks jiwoo to yell at him they always speak to each other very formally until they decide to date
also the korean comments ive seen about the movie have all been pretty positive :)
this movie was such a refreshing film for such a heavy topic, I feel like the way bdsm is represented here in the west is so violent and sometimes the representation feels borderline non-consensual and I blame the porn industry for that, this film not only managed to show a healthy bdsm relationship but it also taught me a lot about bdsm that I didn't know about prior to watching the film
If you want to delve into a little more you could check our Watts the Safeword and Evie Lupine too!
@@warriorprincess5239 Love those channels
What I really loved from this movie was her “domme stare”. Like, you can see it in her eyes, which is something I’ve always found to be true when it comes to certain people
The domme stare, the care they shared for each other, the awkwardness… adorable
Jihoo notices it it too, and and isn't scared, but says that he knows why she does it - Jiwoo wants to look at things with her full attention. He really gets her in a different way than anyone else did it was so wonderful and sweet to see.
I remember watching something similar to this called “Be my pet” based off a Japanese manga called “Tramps like us” turned into a Korean movie. It’s also about a women dealing with similar stereotypes and this more sweet submissive man, that she literally treated like a support animal lol, you might like that one too.
I could not think of the name of the manga. I was just thinking I've read this somewhere before.
@@ChicNique23 this movie is based of a korean webtoon called "the sensual m" or "moral sense" in english, the plot is pretty much the same but things are different cuz the movie is compressed, the comic is really cute one of the most wholesome things ive read tbh
For Kimi wa Petto, I don't think there's a dom-sub relationship either in a sexual way either even just for foreplay.
Her dog died when she was little and when she needed emotional support because she couldn't handle all the work mentally anymore, she discovered this guy abandoned like a dog that awful people abandoned in the street. And since he looks so much like her dog (because of his hair especially), she adopted him.
@@geogass Lol so Momo is just a guy she... found? I thought he was sent to her or something. I've only ever seen clips of the drama so I was confused.
@@queenwednesdayart No, no one sent him for her ^^ He was literally in the carboard box when she found him xD And don't worry, this is not a spoil because what I said you can see it in the 1st episode.
the best thing about this movie was that it wasnt about the sex. it wasnt made to be a soft porn. it wasnt only about it, they get to it eventually but their relationship as a dom/sub its more than that and they get to show more nuances of relations of bdsm couples AND WITH A MALE SUB WHICH IS AWESOME FOR A CHANGE!!! and other thing, showing that bdsm can and is most of the times coming from a place of pleasure, from a place of desire and not from a personal trauma or some shit like that and “cant love normally” and NOT ONLY THAT: the CONSENT, THE RESEARCH, THE *LIMITS*. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS MOVIE SCREAMS PERFECTION.
I totally agree that there should be more movies with a femme dom!! There has been a push for it in modern webcomics and some mangas but most of them are usually sex-focused and have one-dimensional characters. This movie looks really cute! Too bad I don't think I'm gonna return to my Netflix subscription anytime soon. Your animal print outfit looks beautiful on you btw. I kinda like when animal print uses fantasy colors like purple ^o^
I mean yes, in manga its kinda fetishizing that more, but there is definitly a big crowd for that. Through with having their concerns too i guess.
There's always piracy
I can list dozens of movies with fem dommes. They are the majority, sadly.
I watched love and leashes and am reading the webcomic series rn! It’s one of the best examples of healthy bdsm that I’ve found and I love it so much!!
Could you share where you’re reading it? I was reading an English translation but they stopped uploading a while bavk
i'm not into bdsm and didn't know much about it before watching this movie, but one big misconception i had was that i thought bdsm HAD to involve sex, even if it didn't involve a romantic relationship! so watching it i was honestly kinda confused and wondered if they were just like ignoring the sex aspect because they didn't want the movie to be too erotic?? but now watching your review and learning that bdsm doesn't have to involve sex at all (and you personally had an experience like that) i'm like woah!! that's so interesting and so different from how it's typically portrayed in media. it's always great to learn about different lifestyles and i really enjoyed both the movie and this review ❤️
i'm not going to finish the video, because as soon as you started talking about the plot i was like WAIT, NO, I NEED TO WATCH THIS MYSELF! so i'll see you when i'm done, i guess lol
loved this review! i actually was passing on this movie because i was expecting it to just use bdsm as a gimmick to lure in the audience and then go on to switch to them ending up in a vanilla relationship in a sex-negative, bdsm-negative type of way, but i should have known better since seohyun's a very intelligent woman who picks her scripts very purposefully, i shouldn't have doubted her lol. she's actually been in some dramas and has another movie coming up! her drama "private lives" is on netflix, it's pretty enjoyable as well!
just for clarification since i'm a stan, while her image under sm entertainment was indeed pretty conservative and she leans towards a mature, reserved aesthetic even after leaving the company, since she clearly identifies with that, she has consistently expressed progressive views (feminist, pro lgtbq+, anti conservative nationalism, at least!), and has been careful with picking her scripts that don't clash with those beliefs. i shouldn't be surprised this isn't an exception to that, but ig i've just lost my faith in media that markets itself around bdsm lol
EDIT: what a coincidence the love and leashes review came out right when i'm the middle of a binge of your bdsm movie reviews lol
This was cute. It’s also nice to see female dominant representation that isn’t the extreme caricature you can see at times. There were times I’ve wondered if I could switch over, but I can’t bring myself to be as theatrically intense as all that. Maybe there’s a space for female doms that look different than the typical porn influenced representation.
Your leopard print outfit, the green behind you and the light on your skin all come together in a beautiful ensemble. It all kind of reminds me of a Bettie Page picture. 🐆🖤💛
Because of this movie, I have consumed all of the English translations available online for the original webcomic of the movie Love and Leashes!! It's under a different name called Moral Sense, but it is super fascinating as they have a healthy bdsm relationship and also educates us viewers on the bdsm basics with such a healthy view ❤️🥰 edit: I really hope more people translate moral sense, or that the webtoon keeps releasing most of it, Moral Sense is not a new comic and while I also feel conflicted about the profit that the author could be losing I just wish I get to consume their comic soon 😭😭😭
The comic is actually translated in English on the Webtoon app for free, you do have to wait for a day in between each episode and it's not fully released yet but I think it's worth it to support the creator (unless you meant that you already read all the episodes that are on there, in which case you can ignore this lol)
yeah that model i weird, but yeah maybe there is a fantranslation.
@@mistywolfmulti2639 I checked at webtoon first, and that's why I resorted to the online scans :'( but you're right I should support the author! Being impatient is no excuse
GIRL YOUR TWO WORLDS COLLIDING!🇰🇷🎶⛓️ she was the makgnae doing this movie! I was suuuper shocked too
Fyi bdsm is actually really BIG in south korea👀
Really? 👀
@Kat Blaque yes!! Quite lowkey though,no surprise. so many korean doms/subs on Twitter but hide their face/identity of course
omg yesss a SONE 💗. I've seen your comments all around kpop content on youtube's comment section but it's nice to see a confirmation 😅. I've always had this impression that Seohyun really wants to challenge herself with her roles, do something to break this " Nation's Girl Group angelic maknae" persona that the public might have on her. Excited to watch the entire video ☺️🍿
i'm so happy we have a movie that shines light on bdsm and is EDUCATIONAL. it did catch a bit a fire for being advertised really big in public and people were concerned for a younger(middle school and below) taking these topics lightly but i hope it brings a better outcome than 50 shades did.
holy shit holy fuck hearing you talk about your domination trauma felt so validating
people cant imagine that there are situations that can genuinely put you off dominating in a very deep and emotional way, no matter what kind of person you are
you said in this video how you were 19 and someone forced you to be dom. i had the exact same experience, i was 16 with my first boyfriend, i had only lost my virginity a month prior and he started saying hey be dominant and peg me and spank me etc etc i said i wasn't comfortable with doing so and he would start crying and begging me (one time he said if i don't do it he would rxpe me anally, which he did go through, i now have a massive scar there). i felt so pressured to do this and after i broke up with him I've been submissive since. 5 years later and I'm getting a bit of my dominace back but only in cases I'm sleeping with women.
So sorry to hear that. I wish you the best
Im sorry you had that experience
Damn dude that's sounds awful
Crikey, that's intense; especially for someone so young, as well as so early in your sexual experiences. I'm saddened you experienced that, and hope you're able to do healing work as you're ready for it!
I've had my own trauma experiences and while I don't know much (if at all) it plays into it, I find it interesting to see someone else mention a 'gendered split' in their play. Mine is the opposite though; I generally top with men & bottom with women. I have wondered over the years if it *is* trauma-influenced, particularly because the only man I've ever been able to bottom for was my ex-husband (& this was a rare thing anyway, as he's far more submissive), and he's literally the only man I've ever been able to fully trust and allow myself to let my guard down completely with. Heck, even today, 10+ years after our divorce & both of us in new long-term relationships, I would still trust him with my life.
Anyway, again, I'm sorry you experienced those things, and glad to hear you're out of that relationship & seem to be in healthier spaces these days!
@@brendaleelydon this was 5 years ago so i am moving on slowly, I've had way worse experiences after that but none seemed to effect me more than that first one. that experience also led me to get severe depression so all my grades dropped and due to other mental illnesses (and also grief due to my ex boyfriend of 3 years suicide) I've been on a sick note ever since. only two weeks ago did i get a job which shows I'm improving and getting more motivation.
being submissive takes a lot of trust towards the dom so its no surprise i youve only been able to be submissive in your long term relationship. also i personally put a lot more trust towards women than men (due to my experiences with men) so it also makes sense you would be submissive with women more. i find i can be dom around women more also due to feeling more confident around them, but also it could just be a preference i have.
I agree I definitely loved watching this movie due the fact these characters have humanistic and relatable characteristics.
In all sincerity, I definitely was shocked that there was a Korean BDSM movie. Growing up in a predominantly Asian culture household. Talking about this stuff is definitely taboo and is seen as a perversion. I had to watch this movie myself and while watching it I was teary to see how much Eastern culture progressing when it comes to sexuality. I even noticed there are trend that has been going recently in discussing about mental health as well. I’m rooting for my community to continue to mature more when it comes to sensitive topics like these.
Overall a great experience.
I'd recommend reading the original webtoon of it as it gives more insight into why the characters are the way tht they are (which they skipped in the movie) and gives more info on healthy bdsm relationships :)
Yes! So glad you talked about this movie. It is SO ridiculously adorable and wholesome!
Regarding how pushy submissive men can be: 100% true. I am a switch but have increasingly gotten more comfortable with playing top/dom and I have sometimes found that expressing that causes me to get really uncomfortable messages from submissive men. I don't do fetlife anymore because of how often that would happen. I had a dynamic that was on and off for a few years that was initiated by the submissive (this was very comfy and mutual though). So this move reflects my own experiences for sure.
And I also love that they show his eagerness because it helps show that how one acts in the "real world" isn't necessarily going to translate into what you want in a kink dynamic. Like he is very able to advocate for what he wants but also is a submissive.
And I love you brought up how caring it is! Such a lovely change a pace! I love this movie.
It actually has a plot , unlike 50s shade of grey where they have relationship problems , ana mad so they fight and they fuck it all away
the title of this is litcherally what i thought when i finished the movie
I LOVED the Movie! I love it sheds light on the danger of pretending to be in BDSM. There are so many perpetrators that put ppl at risk. Vanilla ppl always think of bdsm as steamy sex, but sex is probably the last thing on your mind when in a scene. Especially if you are Dom'ng.
Barely started but I am loving this giggly Kat, the hair, the outfit💯💯🤌🤌🤌
i'm only 10 minutes in, but about the d/s roles and how that relates to real life: jiwoo is a socially dominant woman, who is always told that she can't be dominant, that she has to be more submissive in her work/life/etc. she always has to go against her instincts, against her personality and drive, in order to be accepted. and now comes jihoo who offers (finally!!) an outlet for her to be herself! and to be appreciated, and encouraged to be herself, and to be in control! i think it's still what kat was talking about, just framed differently.
edit: WHO'S JISOO?? THE FUCK?? his name is jiHoo, and i am ashamed 🤦♂️
Finally a kinky review!!! I loved this movie so freaking much, especially with one of my Kpop biases!
As a user said on the trailer "from SM to S&M"
I really loved the scene where jun was inagining candel wax getting on his back, never thought of something like that
Not sure if youve heard of it before, but there is a pretty highly acclaimed Finnish film with Female dom-male sub set up. The film is called Dogs Don't Wear Pants, you can stream it from TH-cam.
Might be interesting to you! :)
absolutely love the vibe of this video from the first like three seconds!
Can’t wait to watch this! Also Kat’s whole vibe is so pretty in this video, the hair, glowing skin, comfort, and cute new outfit. 💗
I watched the movie quite recently. It was an interesting thing to experience. Mostly because I am not used to seeing this kind of topic on television, especially on Korean television. As someone who loves kpop and learning more about BDSM, this movie really interested me.
As a domme, I loved seeing the research and practice that the domme in the movie puts into each scene.
Im so glad you love the movie! As SOON as I finished the movie, I thought ‘Kat has to see this!’ I love your movie reviews and I’m a Kpop fan too! 2007 was my entrance year. Wonder Girls and Super Junior 🤣
*Love the animal separates and curly fro ♥️
I think you’re right when you say that BDSM is an escape from the way people really live their lives. Even tho Ji-woo is a naturally more dominant person, we can see how much of the time, power and control is taken away from her. Like when we see how she isn’t taken seriously at work and is always expected to be somewhat submissive to the men around her, it makes sense that she would then have an interest in taking that control back by the way of BDSM. I think especially since Ji-hoo was the one technically taking power away from her by being taken more seriously since he is a man, it would make their entire dynamic all the more appealing to her. I think that’s why I really like the way that they showed how the power dynamic is in everyday life and then contrasted that with the way it is during their private scenes together.
I like how simple the story goes and how fast it is, straight to the point y'know lol (plotwise). I'm no big fan of dense movies myself, 😅 as I'm pretty easy to please so I like media that can just take me from my real life for just some minutes and I think the movie did it for me (also while watching I found the BDMS content was dealt pretty well but since I'm not in the community it's nice to hear your thoughts on it!
Fun fact: this movie is based off a comic! It goes by the same name, and while there seems to be a lot of changes the movie is definitely a sort of retelling of the comic. The comic is free to read on Webtoons, and it’s currently one of my favorite comics- and, obviously, the comic goes into much more detail on the story and relationships.
I’ve actually been wanting to watch this movie since hearing about it is what got me into the comic, but I’m holding out right now until I’ve finished reading the comic. I’m kinda glad I watched this video though and got some spoilers to get me used to how different the movie is gonna be from the comic, but I still can’t wait to watch it myself!
i'm not someone who's ever practiced BDSM, so i'm glad i was right about it seeming like a healthy relationship! for what it's worth, the male lead (lee junyoung) was also in an idol group, so i'm really happy both of them were courageous enough to take the roles :)
(junyoung's group is u-kiss btw! he was also in the project group UNB)
i love this style of review, i feel like we're chatting while you watch the movie
I watched this movie when it popped up on my netflix a few weeks ago and immediately thought of you and hoped you would review it!! I found it really refreshing and despite it not having any actual sex scenes, way sexier than most bdsm movies that are popular. I think honestly just seeing two people really enjoying themselves and learning together was just way more engaging and pleasant. I hope people make more BDSM movies like this!
YESSSS!!!! I was hoping you'd cover it. I just watched it last night and it was so cute and I was so happy they actually had CONVERSATIONS about everything. Ugh, what a breath of fresh air. Also, I freaking love your outfit!
Hey Kat, so I am not Korean nor do I speak the language but I am from czech republic and we have a similar thing to have different way to adress people differently. It is not necesserily about hierachry more like showing your relationship with people around you. In czech we have for example formal and informal way to speak to people. So if you meet a new person you will adress each other in a formal manner. Exception being if you are teenagers, then you will probably adress each other informally. There is a chance Korean language might have different rules but from what I understood it should be the difference between formal and informal as well.
Ahoj! I'm suprised/happy to see another czech person here.
@@anib8863 Čau, hej ten pocit znám. Lol. :D
I loved EVERYTHING about this movie, I thought it was so so sweet, and so respectfully done. Huge fan, and I'm always happy to see things like this come out of my motherland
The way I didn't even recognize Seohyun in the thumbnail and screamed "WHAT?!" when you said she was in the film
I'm so glad you made a video on this! I really don't know much about bsdm, but watching this movie I felt like they did a great job explaining. Your video confirmed it for me c:
I saw the comic version pop up and read a few chapters and then I was surprised that there was a movie adaptation. My only thought at the time was "Kat would love this" lol
Oh my gosh I didn't even know there was a movie. I'm a big fan of the webtoon it's based on. Definitely gotta check it out now and it seems different from the webtoon (probably because it's a movie). I'm excited to watch it. Maybe you could check out the webtoon and then give us your opinions on that.😃
Yesss the webtoon is so good, but is it just me or has there been like no updates??
I thought that there were no updates too because I was reading it on my desktop, but then I found out that you have to download the webtoon app to read the rest of it.
Omg what's it called! I love the webtoons I already follow so this sounds great!
@@AvaNightingale its called the sensual m/moral sense in english:)
Girl I'm so happy to hear that you're a kpop stan!
I was debating myself whether to watch it or not bc I've had reservations of how mainstream media portrays bdsm, but I'm so glad to find out from your video that that's not the case. I'll def be putting it on watch list
Based on your opinion, I just watched the film. It is cute but a lot less corny than most BDSM media that I've seen. I like it!
I'm with you on this review. I'm not into BDSM, but I love Kpop/Kdramas and Jun and Seohyun are favs as well. I have friends who do BDSM and I've always been struck by the respect they emphasize and that is usually lacking in ANY BDSM movie or show. I really loved how throughout this movie, our main characters never stopped respecting or caring for each other. Making sure that each member of the couple are okay and treated decently is so lacking in most media these days, even in "normal" stories. But that care and attention was always upfront and center throughout this movie and that was nice to see.
Just a suggestion for a BDSM movie with a fem dom: "Going Under" which came out in 2004. It's one of the better, more nuanced portrayals that I've seen.
"The reality of it, if you want me to top you, to dominate you I don't know what the f! I'm doing or how to do it so you're not gonna get a satisfactory thing from me." - Yes! Thank you! I've been with men who are switches and they know I'm not a switch. I'm a sub and don't dom under any circumstance. But sometimes I'll get someone who's like, it's not that deep/hard just try it and I never know how to articulate that it is that deep (for me) and that I will give such a lackluster experience because I'm not feeling it and because dominating someone doesn't do anything for me mentally, psychologically, emotionally or physically and it has to in order for me to give someone what they need and I'm so glad you articulated it. 💖
I gotta watch this, seems so cute!!! I love your idea that maybe the honorifics in Korean culture have an impact on the power dynamics between people and how that could influence BDSM interactions, that's a whole thesis lol I'd love if someone actually researched that.
I read the comic version on webtoons, it's really nice to have media about BDSM that's more about the intimacy of a power dynamic and less about the sex!
i thought it was such a great depiction of what bdsm/ds play is/should be. i like that they also brought up a lot of safety such as safe word(s)/gesture and aftercare
I think Dommy McDomerson is my favorite slang
I saw this thumbnail and was like....Seohyun?!!!! Our maknae??!! Omg yes the glow up
i was really really happy when i noticed and watched this movie on netflix. i feel that because it did not follow american conventions of how bdsm and sex in general is depicted in shows and movies, it showed sides and truths to bdsm that i, someone used to american depictions, rarely got to see. and seeing that made it feel so much more real and accurate.
despite the fact that i actually have no experience doing anything with anybody, it put a pin on so many feelings for me not just as a non-sexual masochist, it even managed to put a pin on other feelings i've had that i've never seen represented before.
and honestly that means a lot to me.
As a person in a relationship similar to the movie, I really felt represented and it was so so cool to see more content of this type, especially in such a well thought way. Thank you so much for introducing me to this!
i loved hearing what YOU thought bout this movie as a person who is in the bdsm realm and i couldnt agree more....this movie is beautiful with the perfect amount of spice and rather correct information!
I know a lot of people who don't understand that some Dom's gets satisfaction just by taking care of their Sub. Cause is like the satisfaction that the sub gets from their Dom satisfies the Dom. And some people like he's Ex, believe that somethings is gotta give back it can't always be him sub. But they don't get that he is already giving back.
I'm so happy you covered this! I was super surprised and happy with how educational and wonderful this movie was
I also enjoyed the fact he's the sub as a fem switch who's usually a dom
Also as someone who went in basically expecting Korean 50 shades, I was extremely happy how much I could relate to this. Most of my doming experience comes from non sexual platonic play sessions with close friends. So having a non sexual d/s relationship shown was wonderful for me(and my friends I watched it with who both practice BDSM and d/s)
Exit to Eden was a female dom and a male sub and non heteronormative, and I was and older book too! The book definitely showcases this more, but maybe you could review both the film and the movie and give your thoughts?
Do you mean the book and movie? I'd love an A.N. Roquelaure book review like Exit to Eden or the Sleeping Beauty Series
I love the animal print set!
I also love the explanation of a dominant as someone who demands that you love and take care of and improve upon yourself. That is beautiful and what I had hoped. Have still not gotten the chance to dive in as it's hard to find people in Texas who are open to much of anything....
1 minute in.
I also watched it because I like SNSD and Seohyun was one of my biases, lol.
I tend to watch K-dramas based on rec's and actors I like, so I am looking forward to what you think of this.
I'm a big K-drama fan and this was a great movie! I was happy that they didn't do what all the other BDSM movies have done. Loved it! Thanks for your take Kat!
Seconding for more diverse films in this series of reviews! This one was so refreshing, if there are others with the “reverse” dynamic I want to see them and your thoughts on them 🥰
Watched this movie as soon as it came out. Absolutely loved it
Don't you just love when one of your all time fave youtubers also loves the kpop group you love the most?
Totally agree on the experience requirement and coming across pushy subs. It's forever a struggle. I absolutely loved all of this movie! Happy to see your review too
I watched Love and Leashes as soon as it came out and I hope more people will hear about it.
I had a great time watching it, it's very good for korean romcoms standards also (in my opinion obvs) Anyways, great to see your thoughts on it. Also I loved the main leads chemistry together
I've just watched it, and I loved it! The team respected the webtoon, and I recommend reading it before watching the film because It fills up many gaps. The most satisfying thing is how they encourage and reassure each other. 😍😍😍
i was looking forward to this movie for months because the male lead is a member of my favourite kpop group, and after watching it i really wanted to know what people who take part in BDSM in real life thought of it! Personally I thought it was sweet and a much more positive representation of a sub/dom relationship, glad to see it got positive reception from other people as well!
Which is why compared to 50 shades of gray, Love and Leashes is just realistic and doesn't depict either parties as a monster within those intimate scenes.
Watching this movie, i've realised that im actually into bdsm(and am a dom). I have watched a LOT of kdrama's but I've never had felt this attracted to a guy before. Submissive men just do it for me I guess lol
Finally media I can actually enjoy, get that "are you lost babygorl?" shit away from me-
I am totally not lurking in the comment section to find similar material 👀
I am a big fan of SNSD but I never knew Seohyun acted in this movie, that was such a pleasant surprise! It is funny how when I was younger, I could relate to her for being reserved and very ladylike but look at us now hahah, we love the duality 💖💕