Is it time to change the way you think about sex? | Cindy Gallop

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ธ.ค. 2023
  • Cindy Gallop answers our questions about sex, identity, and why we need to stop giving a damn.
    Subscribe to Big Think on TH-cam ► / @bigthink
    Up next, How to have "real" orgasms
    ► • How to have "real" org...
    Cindy Gallop, the founder and CEO of MakeLoveNotPorn, answered our questions about self-worth, the weight of other people’s expectations on women, and hope.
    She shares her mission to normalize and destigmatize conversations about sex, including the negative consequences of using pornography as a substitute for sexual education.
    Cindy hopes for a world where we’re all unburdened by societal judgments and true equality is achieved.
    Read more from this interview ► bigthink.com/perception-box/c...
    We created this video with Unlikely Collaborators.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    About Cindy Gallop:
    Cindy Gallop is a graduate of Somerville College, Oxford, whose background is over 30 years in brand-building, marketing and advertising - she started up the US office of ad agency Bartle Bogle Hegarty in New York in 1998 and in 2003 was named Advertising Woman of the Year.
    She is the founder and CEO of IfWeRanTheWorld, co-action software launched in beta at TED 2010 and subsequently written up and taught as a Harvard Business School case study, which enables brands to implement the business model of the future - Shared Values + Shared Action = Shared Profit (financial and social).
    She is also the founder of MakeLoveNotPorn - ‘Pro-sex. Pro-porn. Pro-knowing the difference’ - a social sextech platform designed to promote good sexual behavior and good sexual values, which she launched at TED 2009, and for which she has just raised $2 million to build out MLNP.tv as ‘the Social Sex Revolution’.Cindy recently partnered with AARP on their Disrupt Aging initiative to challenge and change ageism.
    Cindy has also published ‘Make Love Not Porn: Technology’s Hardcore Impact on Human Behavior’ as one of TED’s line of TEDBooks.
    You can follow her on Twitter @cindygallop.

ความคิดเห็น • 337

  • @Shrimping
    @Shrimping 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +253

    Stopping caring what others think is the way. Finding yourself and living your own path is the way.

    • @miroslavhoudek7085
      @miroslavhoudek7085 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That's precissely what psychopats do, so maybe that should give you a pause. It's true that women shouldn't care what 85 year old senator thinks about their reproductive rights. But otherwise other people are your only chance at getting some feedback on how to be a good person. These people who are above listening to others and society are absolutely why we are where we are. You are not Zarathushtra to walk into a cave and will yourself into being a better mature person.

    • @anb7495
      @anb7495 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Especially in health care, imagine all nurses have to listen to patients feedback

    • @frankxu4795
      @frankxu4795 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      That is what jerk means because they only have themselves in mind.

    • @Someone-de3ln
      @Someone-de3ln 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Not so easy when cancel culture exists.

    • @christianseiler7317
      @christianseiler7317 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Giving up on others opinions is the path to an individual society that loses it culture and identity. Where hedonism rules over altruism and order collapses.
      There is plenty of inequality left to tackle, but throwing out biological circuits we optimized for millions of years is probably not going to happen like that...

  • @brydenofboise3783
    @brydenofboise3783 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +242

    So this title was more than a little misleading. It’s not about not watching porn, it’s about not creating systems in which porn acts as a teacher. Porn is a fantasy- and if we are learning expectations from fantasy we are making ourselves more prone to shame.

    • @brydenofboise3783
      @brydenofboise3783 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

      Also I feel like the title is focused on an important point of the interview, but nowhere near a primary theme. Understanding and combating shame was at the core of the messaging. The title feels reductive of such an intimate, informative, and powerful interview.

    • @movement2contact
      @movement2contact 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@brydenofboise3783They already changed it from the original, which one did you mean? 👴🏻

    • @brydenofboise3783
      @brydenofboise3783 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      @@movement2contact glad they jumped on it! I don’t remember the exact phrasing, but I believe it was “want to have better sex? Stop watching porn.” Or something like that.

    • @l01230123
      @l01230123 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@brydenofboise3783 That's it exactly. It's still wrong in my search history lol.

    • @bigthink
      @bigthink  6 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

      Thanks so much for the feedback! We've edited the title accordingly.

  • @Lexsed
    @Lexsed 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +78

    Seem the title clickbaiting is everywhere eh? That’s not even what she said, she said that during sex we go to what we see in porn since we don’t talk about or educate people on sex.
    Talking and educating yourself on sex is the way to “have better sex” not stop watching porn

    • @user-pq9ji7kt4l
      @user-pq9ji7kt4l 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Thanks- don’t have to watch it now….!

    • @Georgeilocks
      @Georgeilocks 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@Dimitris_Balfporn is fine to watch, éducation is important when it comes to sex and porn and not confused between thé two of what sex is really liké and what sex in certain porn is liké. Liké she said porn becomes sex éducation when you fail to teach it accuratley or hide sex éducation in général. So it's no surprise thé wrong information would bé learned from thé only other content out there.
      Watch porn if you liké just know that éducation on sex is important and there is better porn to watch, playing for it can more garentee that it is ethical and thé performers are in a safe environnent whilst they work.
      Porn can bé helpful in discovering fantasies within yourself or with a partner/s but it's not éducation it's entertainment but at thé same time it is not heretical to enjoy it, just have fun and know what is real and what isn't.

    • @l01230123
      @l01230123 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Dimitris_Balf I feel like you're perhaps asexual. You've never seen porn?

    • @anb7495
      @anb7495 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Watching porn makes people jealous of the amount of fun a guy can have

    • @Lexsed
      @Lexsed 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@pharaohbtw The only opinion is that title clickbaiting is rampant on youtube, which you can agree or disagree with, but the rest is just exactly what is in the video and what she was talking about.

  • @jackschwartz3386
    @jackschwartz3386 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +72

    Hard to talk about sexual repression without bring religion into the forefront. At least where I live the religious are the ones holding back sex education in the schools. To the point there is NO sex education at all. Being open early in life about sex is so important.

  • @Valkyri3Z
    @Valkyri3Z 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +65

    Pardon for playing a spoilsport here , how many men would be able to admit on camera without any backlash or widespread condemnation or ridicule " I date younger women" ? That admission really stood out and told me how far we have come to man hating.

    • @Valkyri3Z
      @Valkyri3Z 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

      @@Dimitris_Balf well these rationalizations would not even appear if it was a man. Plain and simple.

    • @Valkyri3Z
      @Valkyri3Z 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Dimitris_Balf Age gap between men and woman when men is much older is NOT accepted and in fact is quite condemned and vilified by society and feminists in social media. You are either ignorant or being willfully ignorant because a woman is admitting it here.

    • @TheVeganVicar
      @TheVeganVicar 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Dimitris_Balf, right and wrong are RELATIVE. 😉
      Incidentally, Slave, are you VEGAN? 🌱

    • @thereckon3592
      @thereckon3592 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      ​@@Dimitris_BalfShe's above 60 and talks about dating men in their 20s.

    • @Valkyri3Z
      @Valkyri3Z 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Dimitris_Balf Actually I am talking about western countries dude. LOL Go to ANY social media post where an old man have a young girlfriend / or admitting to being attracted to young women and just look at the comment section , it will be crystal clear. In fact feminists will even tell you how older men wants to control women and therefore go for younger women.. Its a quite prevalent perception and I am surprised you don't even know that hahaha

  • @kedrictufton2983
    @kedrictufton2983 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +86

    This is interesting! As a man I always thought it was only me and the other men that would go out looking for the one, but its interesting and super validating to hear it's not just the guys but the women too! Like most the other comments are saying, you gotta stop letting other/Society tell you what to think and just be yourself!

    • @deadinside8781
      @deadinside8781 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      What? Of course girls are looking for the one, we’re girls XD

    • @frutigermetroboomin
      @frutigermetroboomin 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Damn, people do this? Haha, I must've missed the plot.

    • @verb0ze
      @verb0ze 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I mean, if you've seriously dated more than one person in life, you're by definition looking for "the one". Something must not have been there in the first relationship to make you think you can find better. That's basically most people in the western world. The only people who are not looking for "the one" are those who live out an arranged marriage

    • @PeterPete
      @PeterPete 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      But there's only one person for each and every one of us - that's basically what many people learn when it's too late 👍

    • @dothangbui4918
      @dothangbui4918 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      cap@@PeterPete

  • @Seicks
    @Seicks 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    if you stop caring at all about what other people say, don't you just become a narcisist? we're social animal, we're made to care about other people and what they think. The lesson should be to give the proper weight to other people's thoughts and opinion, so that you can still be you, and at the same time have a healthy relationship with the people around.

    • @niamhbrown7050
      @niamhbrown7050 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I interpreted that as not placing people's opinions above your own rather than just flat out ignoring any opinion ever

    • @user-um6up4ox9d
      @user-um6up4ox9d 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Why must everything be answered with all or nothing? As with everything, moderation. Think for yourself.

    • @tanjaosilic6641
      @tanjaosilic6641 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Proprio i narcisisti sono quelli che si preoccupano di opinione di altri e sono persone diente malata.

  • @MrDontcareify
    @MrDontcareify 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I think one of the inherent problems here is trying to define what is “acceptable” sexual expression?
    We say that pornography isn’t acceptable (I tend to agree with that), however, some people might say there’s nothing wrong with pornography.
    Some people say that there’s something wrong with polygamy, even though there are several cultures on the planet that consider it normal.
    Then there are some subcultures in our society that accept hedonism or polyamory.
    The overall point I’m trying to make here is that it depends on who you ask “What is acceptable sex?”
    For me, I have no problem at all with LGBTQ people or their sexuality but there’s several people and cultures in the United States that declare that homosexuality is invalid/immoral.
    The truth is that I’m not sure every human will ever agree with other humans on what is acceptable sex. I saw a TH-cam video the other day where a male pornstar was saying that too many people attach “feelings” to sex, but I thought in my head “isn’t that the entire point of sex?”

  • @doctorgenerous
    @doctorgenerous 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    "...we get to experience the female lens on everything when it is enabled and supported and championed and funded." YES YES YES!!! Loved this video and absolutely adore Cindy and her message!

  • @Rainyalley
    @Rainyalley 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    Title : want to have better .....
    Woman in the vid : "No, No, this... this whole thing.. all of this... it's all about me" 👵

    • @contents_jr.
      @contents_jr. 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Haven't watched it, maybe I shouldn't
      Right?

  • @nabbunsechkie
    @nabbunsechkie 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

    I love how the title of the video has nothing to do with what she talked about lol

    • @peteraugust5295
      @peteraugust5295 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      I watched the video and I still have no idea what she even is talking about.

    • @MG-wg9lm
      @MG-wg9lm 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      You are absolutely right. I decided to go 2X within the first minute of the video.

  • @birdieg3614
    @birdieg3614 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Especially "finding the one" is really a big lie. The "one" will simply be the one you choose to be with, that's all. I have waited a long time for the "one" but nobody ever stuck out. Then I decided to have sex and found so many that would work somehow. So I made a choice based on more or less pure rationale. It turned out quite well and longlasting. In the end there are always other options, but they will always only be different, never better. Unless you made a really bad choice in the first place.
    And yes, the main reason for inequality between men and women is sex (which equals reproduction), because that's the only reason why we are built differently, why the one wants to have control over the other. And even though we are so crazy about talking for hours about inequality, toxic masculinity and the role of society on all this, we never talk about sex really. But we also don't talk about money much, either. In the end both is used to gain, demonstrate and maintain power.

    • @woodman9083
      @woodman9083 28 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ❤☘

  • @l01230123
    @l01230123 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    Some really good questions and answers, (the age difference seems creepy, like fetishizing young men) but I was hoping for a more detailed answer to the title. 🤷‍♂
    Update: the title's better now 👍

    • @Eclectic8
      @Eclectic8 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Yes to creepy. I mean, sure, do what you want. But it still all reflects on who you are...

    • @l01230123
      @l01230123 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Eclectic8 It was extra weird that the last title was about better sex, and she only wants to date young men short-term.
      It makes me think she's bad at sex (one reason creeps date young people)

  • @Deloreon
    @Deloreon 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +48

    "I was looking for the one and didn't find him by my 30s so I gave up"
    Pretty much sums up her views and you can probably guess her stance on things from there

    • @diegopitbull7580
      @diegopitbull7580 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      🎯

    • @br8745
      @br8745 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yup lol

    • @kandels3195
      @kandels3195 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Tipical Catwoman. Ladies dont let this woman twist your minds.

  • @Morjixxo
    @Morjixxo 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +35

    I hear a lot of opinons masked as facts:
    1) Is necessary to have a family to be happy? No.
    Does a family correlates with happiness and fulfillment. Yes.
    Is building a family the best choice in most cases. Yes.
    2) "Do not care about what other thinks" That's a dogmatic, and therefore bad, advice.
    Reality is: some people need to care less, other people need to care more.
    Then we can discuss how many people, and how much.
    But don't caring about others opinion is not the way, is simply selfish.
    3) Everyone is vulnerable when naked. No. This is a (mostly) female perspective. Some people feels really powerful when naked.
    4) Do we need female lens? Yes. Is gender inequality a sign of injustice? No. Is a consequence of the differences between genders. We should try to reduce it, but a certain amount of inequality is simply expression of differences, in every human endeavor.

    • @Gaius_Julius_Caesar_Augustus
      @Gaius_Julius_Caesar_Augustus 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Pov: you are a critical thinker 🗿🗿

    • @obz765
      @obz765 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I honestly believe you have got all of my views on this subject word for word
      I want to add that both men and women look for the “one”
      And that it is not just the woman who are told their purpose is to make a family, its just a very normal and common goal that any person has grown up with, the reason you exist is because your mother and father made a family and made you, so treating making a family as something negative is just awful.
      If I got something wrong let me know, and we can discuss this further and peacefully

    • @DaDarkGuy
      @DaDarkGuy 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Absolutely agree, thanks for writing this out. There are gender inequalities in every sense between either gender. If we achieved gender equality on paper, it eliminates gender roles which are a highly important aspect of how our society has evolved. To achieve true gender equality is to acknowledge our differences and embrace them, rather than trying to restructure what has and will continue to work. My wife is amazing at the things I am not and vice versa, but that is the definition of a symbiotic relationship!

    • @bens5859
      @bens5859 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well said. I hope future replies read your comment carefully and consider.

    • @johngarcia8290
      @johngarcia8290 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Very smart analysis but I do think people need to get off the idea of finding the one and just find a partner who is right for them. Real love is built and it takes time plus effort with some long follow through.

  • @jayarikishii
    @jayarikishii 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    Key insights:
    🔥 "I care massively about socializing, normalizing, and destigmatizing sex. Because we don't talk about sex, it is an area of rampant insecurity for every single one of us, no exceptions."
    😔 We imbue sex with guilt, shame, and embarrassment, leading to enormous human misery and unhappiness.
    🔑 Our sexual attitudes and behaviour can be changed for the better when we are at ease with ourselves as sexual beings.
    TLDR: Women need to challenge societal norms, stop seeking validation from others, and lead the way in ending sexual harassment and rape culture.
    1. 00:00 🔥 Disagreeing with me about gender equality doesn't change my beliefs, and I like to challenge norms in my work.
    2. 00:58 🔍 Women are conditioned to believe that their happiness depends on finding a partner and having children, leading to a constant search for "the One" and competition with other women.
    3. 01:41 🔥 Stop seeking validation from others and start living by your own standards.
    4. 02:14 🐯 Growing up in an Asian family, the speaker faced extreme academic pressure and was expected to attend Oxford, which she ultimately found to be a privilege.
    5. 02:55 🔑 Normalize and destigmatize sex by openly discussing it to address rampant insecurity.
    6. 03:29 🔞 Porn has become default sex education, leading to guilt, shame, and unhappiness, as society is reluctant to openly discuss sex, leaving people to rely on porn for cues with negative effects.
    7. 04:45 🔑 Our sexual attitudes and behaviour can change for the better when we are at ease with ourselves and not feeling shame, embarrassment, and guilt.
    8. 05:09 🔑 Women need to lead to end sexual harassment and rape culture and bring the benefit of the female lens to the world.

  • @chipperwhale
    @chipperwhale 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    I’ve been drawing erotic comics professionally with this ethic for 15 years. With some of the stories focusing on characters realizing porn is performance, not a guide. I try to label the stories as hardcore romance to avoid the connotation porn gets as non-art. I find it hard to be taken seriously despite the research and care I put into the work.

    • @sarag.4562
      @sarag.4562 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      What is the name of it!!

  • @abby33211
    @abby33211 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    It definitely took a lot to think through what I wanted out of my life/future and who I am

  • @MyMerryMessyGermanLife
    @MyMerryMessyGermanLife 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I had never thought about how porn is there in part because we don’t learn about how to have sex in a healthy way from trusted adults in our lives. This really makes sense. We need to talk about actual practices and techniques, and how to talk through with your partner how you’d like to engage together in physical intimacy. Teaching consent all along the way! It’s so much more healthy to talk about it out loud, and go into detail. Because we don’t, women are much more likely to find themselves in uncomfortable and painful sexual experiences.

  • @themaestrodamus
    @themaestrodamus 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    I am looking for “the one.” In fact, I’d give anything to fall so hard in love that I hit my head. Ironically, I’m also burdened with Ambition. And love is the death…

    • @o.t.9047
      @o.t.9047 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Idealising a person seems like a way to avoid reality

    • @themaestrodamus
      @themaestrodamus 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@o.t.9047 or make reality a bit more bearable. And who said anything about idealizing? I wish to find someone that I fall desperately in love with flaws and all. Not an image of an “ideal” someone I have in my head. Your unfounded presumption is worthy of your faux intelligence

    • @o.t.9047
      @o.t.9047 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@themaestrodamus that's fine, it was a faulty observation based on a few sentences, you know yourself

  • @LukeGilhamHere
    @LukeGilhamHere 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Is love making and sex different?
    I find that love making is the true physical act of showing love to one another, being able to appreciate and admire our partners bodies.
    Having sex is fun, possibly unplanned, maybe quick, explosive.
    It's really interesting how we do all have different ways and opinions! I love it

  • @amonpaulus9436
    @amonpaulus9436 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Fun fact: I'm a 19jo male and what you said about the search for "the one" seemed to be true to males now.... Very interesting and also sad.

  • @LBJoum
    @LBJoum 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    You've opened the secret door. So much work to be done. Beautiful wishes.

  • @anthonyfelix2972
    @anthonyfelix2972 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    It's still disappointing that despite all the information available to young people at their finger tips the first and strongest message they don't hear is to listen to their inner selves first. Only by only by diving into the depths of your core being can you identify the things that are important to you and filter through the ocean on info to fine what you need to refine and polish yourself so that you live as yourself proudly and not shamefully as what others want of you.

    • @o.t.9047
      @o.t.9047 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      There is no inner self before a baby confronts societal messages through the lenses of their parents, developmentally. Inner feelings and thought processes develop as a result of interactions with firstly the mother's body, then interacting with people before learning how to speak, while developing a rational self comes at the very last stage of infanthood. Pride and guilt are learned feelings to manage social interactions at the beginning of this last stage as the child associates their actions to results. Perhaps shame is learned somewhat earlier if the baby isn't properly attended to and made to feel loved.

  • @yerva01
    @yerva01 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    We should change the way we think about love

  • @varyolla435
    @varyolla435 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Sex via porn is like a kid in a candy store window = you want what you do not have........ Thus it sets up unrealistic expectations which often lead to dysfunctional outcomes given the incapacity of some to cope with their failure to achieve the unrealistic.
    Moral of the story: we sow the seeds of our own disappointments by the expectations we = *PROJECT* onto others. If you can not be happy with what you have then it is likely you also will not be happy with what you convince yourselves you "want". Whatever immediate gratification you derive from seeking such desires out you will probably become bored eventually leading to your becoming unhappy once again to repeat the process. The grass is always greener..........
    Happiness actually comes from within rather than without. Learn to work with what you have before you obsess over what you do not. Things still might not work out in the end = but at least you tried. 🤨

  • @StevieCooper
    @StevieCooper 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    She is FANTASTIC ❤

  • @KindOfSushant
    @KindOfSushant 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The stigma created by society regarding masturbation, pornography and sex makes a person ashamed and guilty. Misinformation of this leads to anxiety which further causes depression.

  • @zukzworld
    @zukzworld 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    What an interesting interview! ❤️✌🏾

  • @texaspineywoods3879
    @texaspineywoods3879 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Extraordinary. I’m male, and I say an ENORMOUS thank you.

  • @mariusnss8787
    @mariusnss8787 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank You❤

  • @l01230123
    @l01230123 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    THANK YOU for changing the title to something reasonable. That click bait was rough 😅

  • @mustang1661
    @mustang1661 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    A lot of the women around me say the exact same thing if they didn’t find a partner till their early 30s, and then few years later, guess what most of the found someone and have children + they say they are very very happy!
    Thats true for men as well - they become egoists and when they marry they start to gloom again.
    Ofc some don’t find, and even those that do pretty well by themselves, share with me that loneliness is the hardest part of their life.
    I believe finding a partner and creating a family is THE HARDEST AND MOST BENEFICIAL THING A PERSON CAN DO IN THIS WORLD!
    Also from my experience with leaders - 30% of women and 70% of men were great leaders

  • @SICRoosterKido
    @SICRoosterKido 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Maaan, someone really hated their life

  • @troyspartan992
    @troyspartan992 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Very cool.

  • @jonayethossain7549
    @jonayethossain7549 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Every One Wants to be unique, A rule breaker. Most common and natural.

  • @kenttan1784
    @kenttan1784 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hi! Malaysian-Chinese here!

  • @ODecharmoy
    @ODecharmoy 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Love her intro

  • @arnolemay2175
    @arnolemay2175 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    what's the name of the painting on the thumbnail?

  • @bindercolman5265
    @bindercolman5265 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Brilliant! Well done!

    • @EvoraGT430
      @EvoraGT430 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Why beep out some words though? It's not like we don't all know what she said!

  • @broadsword6650
    @broadsword6650 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    "Don't care a damn about what anyone else thinks"
    What, about anything? If no-one has any regard for the thoughts, feelings and attitudes of others within society that sounds like a recipe for anarchy. It's too simplistic a statement. One should care enough about what others think in order to assess it. Whether one then conforms to that thinking, or is influenced by it, requires thought and is the real social skill. Simple absolutism, a blanket denial (or acceptance) of others' concerns, is not a clever, helpful or healthy attitude to have.

    • @EvoraGT430
      @EvoraGT430 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      What she's saying is she doesn't let other peoples' rage/offense drive her decisions. Healthy in a way this crazy woke world is not.

  • @hermoinegrangerful
    @hermoinegrangerful 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Does anyone know the name and artist of the beautiful painting in the thumbnail?

    • @RetardedNConfused
      @RetardedNConfused 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      cover art of my beautiful dark twisted fantasy

  • @artursvancans9702
    @artursvancans9702 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Why not both?

  • @fatherburning358
    @fatherburning358 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Id prefer the world i live in was lead by those who embrace wisdom through the lessons of personal challenge and suffering. Not gender. What does lifting gender to front and centre do other than create conflict. Ive had conversations, rare as they are, with people both male and female who have shared hard won wisdom. You just know in your bones they're authentic, something the world desperately needs.

  • @alexhigginbotham8635
    @alexhigginbotham8635 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I think more specificity is required. Is the mere 'watching' of porn the problem or the probability of the attached chronic masturbation the problem?

    • @alexhigginbotham8635
      @alexhigginbotham8635 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Dimitris_Balf - Not necessarily. It's akin to watching a movie. Watching a horror film does not make the person viewing the film a boogeyman automatically. Where the line is I think might be where something might be considered propaganda? Like at what point does watch a horror film convince someone to murder another person in real life?

    • @l01230123
      @l01230123 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Dimitris_Balf And shooting up heroin is entirely (categorically more so) different from watching porn. 🤷‍♂

    • @alexhigginbotham8635
      @alexhigginbotham8635 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Dimitris_Balf - I'm just interested in the psychological and physical effects and aspect of it. I'm sure there are studies out there, it's just not explained well in this video in my opinion.

    • @l01230123
      @l01230123 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Dimitris_Balf 👍

  • @quez
    @quez 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Is it only me or the video is a bit scattered unlike other videos from this channel? I am a huge fan of gender equality but specifically I didn't get if the title matches with what's being said in the video

  • @anandvenkatraman8983
    @anandvenkatraman8983 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I see how this video is helpful, but I can't connect the title to the context of the video
    but I guess the title made me click on the video which served its purpose

  • @jamesstrom6991
    @jamesstrom6991 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    just remember, most porn is a product engineered for profit

    • @EvoraGT430
      @EvoraGT430 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Most porn is revolting as well.

    • @IllD.
      @IllD. 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Romance doujins are the best

  • @ianguthrie8258
    @ianguthrie8258 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Bad title, very clickbait, didn't even know this was a q&a

  • @sparkeyjones6261
    @sparkeyjones6261 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    It kind of seems like there's a lot less constructive public discourse about sex in recent years. I'm afraid the current generation is learning from a lot of really horrible commercial pornography that doesn't at all depict really good sex.

    • @bens5859
      @bens5859 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Even the most commercial mainstream stuff is toxic for the sake of being toxic. Every other video has an incest narrative (you read that right)

  • @rickgut2004
    @rickgut2004 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    To each their own.. I hope I don't end up familyless, and focused on being sexy/sexual at 65. That sounds like hell. Disconnected shallow sex with many partners also sounds unappealing, to say the least. Having sex with someone that I have a deep and intimate connection with, who loves and cares for me as I love and care for her is the goal. Also, she seems to think that women are the answer to societal issues. Well, check out the lesbian divorce rate. Clearly women aren't perfect beings of light and love. Men aren't either, but let's aim for balance.

  • @user-wl2xl5hm7k
    @user-wl2xl5hm7k 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    This is just Cindy letting religious authoritarianism creep into her theories. Stop doing that.

    • @Eclectic8
      @Eclectic8 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Please explain.

    • @user-wl2xl5hm7k
      @user-wl2xl5hm7k 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Eclectic8 Anti porn only comes from religious authoritarianism. That’s it.

    • @Eclectic8
      @Eclectic8 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@user-wl2xl5hm7k Thanks. I'm neither religious nor anti-porn. However, I would not mind whatever measures it would take to block kids from unfettered access. And there's no filtering software that an individual parent can use that's particularly effective. Between themselves, porn companies promote tactics specifically and explicitly designed to maximize "addictiveness."

  • @Playboipete
    @Playboipete 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    she aint wrong. unfortunate about the last part since the people in power to make any meaningful change in equality wouldnt see any benefit or at least that is the perception. why would a man willingly give up power or control. its a tough one we may never figure out. but maybe first thing is awareness. not this fake awareness going on now though. how we treat racism is how we should treat sexism vice versa imo

  • @revenantwolzart
    @revenantwolzart 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Change how? By censoring nude paintings 😂

  • @RichLuciano1
    @RichLuciano1 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    It sounds like this woman considers herself a 10/10

    • @Bobbibrownbeauty979
      @Bobbibrownbeauty979 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      and she should!

    • @RichLuciano1
      @RichLuciano1 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Bobbibrownbeauty979 she should if she is delusional.

  • @samsudeenafolabi
    @samsudeenafolabi 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank TH-cam for a good clickbaited 6 minutes Pro feminism Advertisement😂

  • @JimmieTrueman
    @JimmieTrueman 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Awesome 0:23

  • @TheVeganVicar
    @TheVeganVicar 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    1:42 I cannot imagine why. 🙄

  • @anonymousentity5870
    @anonymousentity5870 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Men and women are biologically, mentally and emotionally so different..
    Then why fight for gender equality
    Men will always be good at something that women will not be and vice versa
    Everybody should play their own part and just embrace the differences that we have..

  • @antonyarulprakash3435
    @antonyarulprakash3435 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Man and woman are not separate.its live only when it's together only with unconditional love ❤

  • @bin4ry_d3struct0r
    @bin4ry_d3struct0r 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You know in which realm men would really benefit from gender equality? Family court. But women would never allow that to happen, would they?!

  • @DonnaNickelson-ny2cw
    @DonnaNickelson-ny2cw 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Women need be, at the very least, an equal leader with men. If we could achieve even that, well...

    • @EvoraGT430
      @EvoraGT430 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Women are the leaders, dummy.

  • @etb7856
    @etb7856 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You’re right, we don’t have gender equality
    I can’t get hired just because of my gender, but a woman can (;

    • @chourouk-gr9qg
      @chourouk-gr9qg 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sadly this is not the equality we wanted
      May god give you the best 🙏

  • @EminencePhront
    @EminencePhront 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I don't get this notion that people learn about sex through porn. When I was hitting that age, porn was already plentiful (albeit slow to load and tiny resolution) and I'd seen lots of it, but I didn't use it as a reference for how to have sex. Nobody had to tell me that "porn sex isn't real sex". I only had to see it and thought it just looked fake, and I hadn't even had any sex yet. Between the cringey noises the women made to the ridiculous scenarios and bizarre fetish stuff, none of it looked like something that healthy minded people would actually DO. So, even as a YDAFOC teen, I knew I needed better intel.
    Even a magazine as insipid as Maxim had some useful tips about pleasing women, plus I could find all sorts of guides online as well. I remember I somehow got subscribed to an e-mail newsletter whose writing style made Maxim look like The Economist, but that also had useful tips. So when I got my first girlfriend, she was quite content (the same cannot be said for me... she was awful at it and couldn't take a hint to improve).
    The thing that puzzles me more than people using porn as a sex manual is why any self-respecting straight man wants to watch another man have sex with a woman. You're either bi (which is fine) or into cuckoldry (which isn't). That makes me fear for our society more than anything.

  • @philipb2134
    @philipb2134 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    What is "gender equality?" Women know, with no controversy, that their children are THEIR children: for men, that is not immediately evident.
    I recently had a conversation along these lines with a friend who does not shy from controversy. He pointed out that the prime biological imperative is to pass on your genes. We argued, finished a bottle, and have not spoken since. What is your take on this?

  • @Someone-de3ln
    @Someone-de3ln 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    If you're older and going to date young adult women/men it's best to keep it private. As you can see the world is full of judgmental haters, and cancel culture mobs.

    • @EvoraGT430
      @EvoraGT430 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Or ignore them and do what you want.

  • @chourouk-gr9qg
    @chourouk-gr9qg 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    For me, sex is a way and LOVE is the goal
    I really can't imagine myself having sex with someone i don't have strong emotions and feeling for
    I don't know if it's an important matter for you but for me, i will never have sex with someone i don't love

  • @Pyovali
    @Pyovali 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Not all porn is bad sex

  • @shannonnefra9738
    @shannonnefra9738 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Wise words!

  • @sosmartsostupid
    @sosmartsostupid 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Safety is a big thing imo
    Learning how to show myself compassion and then matching that with a partner who equally fosters a safe environment now that’s nice sexy time

  • @passthegravy7688
    @passthegravy7688 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    She didn't discuss all the men who's lives were ruined by false accusations of sexual rape by women

  • @mpetry912
    @mpetry912 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    thought provoking !

  • @caleb0388
    @caleb0388 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I don't think we talk about sex in its entirety. It's always in a selfish way from a Western point of view (makes sense as TH-cam and these channels are Western in origin). But I'd like to add another point of view to it. I'm not from a Western country but I've lived there for a period in my life. It's clear that one of the reasons Western powers destabilize weaker countries is for their human potential. The constant influx of migrants to Western countries provides a steady stream of people, from which the best can be handpicked for residency. No matter the resources of a country, the human capital is what keeps it growing and stable. The stability and wealth of Western countries are now directly linked to the influx of migrants because local residents are not having enough children. Western countries destabilize other countries politically and pharmaceutically (making birth control and other medicines so expensive its practically unaffordable). You have families with 10 to 12 children wanting to live in Western countries. My point here is what happens if and when other countries become more stable and rely less on Western countries? What happens to this way of thinking about sex and self when the community needs reproductivity to increase? I have a problem with this because it is selfish and is built on the oppression of others.

  • @vagabanda11
    @vagabanda11 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Yall feminists do understand that Man also have this pressure to find a woman, right?
    Instead of pretty, we need to be strong and successful.

  • @Akeche
    @Akeche 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    "I know I'm right." Uh huh.

  • @chocolatesugar4434
    @chocolatesugar4434 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    ❤❤❤❤ does Cindy have a book?

    • @bigthink
      @bigthink  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      She does not, but she is active on most social platforms and has a calendar on her website for upcoming speaking engagements!

  • @ozymandias1328
    @ozymandias1328 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    A response to some of you who said living a life without minding what others think is like being a jerk:
    The key difference lies in intention and impact. Living authentically means prioritizing your own values while recognizing your place in a larger social world. Being a jerk, on the other hand, involves prioritizing oneself at the expense of others, often through disrespectful and harmful behavior.
    Remember, being true to yourself isn't about being a jerk: It's about honoring your values, respecting others, and navigating life with integrity. As long as you're not intentionally harming anyone or causing pain, stay true to your path and let your light shine.

  • @ElijahPerrin80
    @ElijahPerrin80 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Fuck yes, I love this message and please say it far and wide.

    • @jurassicthunder
      @jurassicthunder 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      get ready to fuck your life up before you complain about where the good men at.

  • @Kieru88
    @Kieru88 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    just one thing : Humans* need not to give a damn what anybody else thinkinks - undess they care

    • @TheVeganVicar
      @TheVeganVicar 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Kindly repeat that in ENGLISH, Miss.☝️
      Incidentally, Slave, are you VEGAN? 🌱

  • @emilianopizana546
    @emilianopizana546 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Well, I think I just disagree with most of it. I did not like this one much, I thought it was going to be more about the consequences of porn in society.

  • @BrownCookieBoy
    @BrownCookieBoy 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Title didnt really match the long intro about virtue signaling

  • @Georgeilocks
    @Georgeilocks 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The title is very misleading to what she said. Porn is fine to watch, éducation is important when it comes to sex and porn and not confused between thé two of what sex is really liké and what sex in certain porn is liké. Liké she said porn becomes sex éducation when you fail to teach it accuratley or hide sex éducation in général. So it's no surprise thé wrong information would bé learned from thé only other content out there.
    Watch porn if you liké just know that éducation on sex is important and there is better porn to watch, playing for it can more garentee that it is ethical and thé performers are in a safe environnent whilst they work.
    Porn can bé helpful in discovering fantasies within yourself or with a partner/s but it's not éducation it's entertainment but at thé same time it is not heretical to enjoy it, just have fun and know what is Real and what isn't.

    • @ShubhTheOcean
      @ShubhTheOcean 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      In no world or universe you can justify watching porn. Please stop. Kids nowadays are watching porn. It's heartbreaking to see that. You can happily live a life without porn or sex. No need to justify/normalize it. Please.

    • @l01230123
      @l01230123 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@ShubhTheOcean What are the consequences of watching porn, (that will affect everyone) and based off what evidence?

    • @Georgeilocks
      @Georgeilocks 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@ShubhTheOcean Porn has existed for 1000's of years, it is human to fantasise to have sex. Restricting éducation from people is thé issue and you implying sex and porn are problèms is a cause of a lot of problèms when people are fearful of being educated on sex and porn and fearful of enjoying it, which IS completly fine to enjoy!

    • @Georgeilocks
      @Georgeilocks 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@l01230123 There are none, it's just fear mongering. There are certainly areas of addiction or excessive that can isolated people but that is not a problem of porn inherently.

  • @1234jert
    @1234jert 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    So means we shld have sex with multiple partners?

  • @readynowforever3676
    @readynowforever3676 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    “Rape” is not about sex. That’s always a horrible conflation.

  • @earthwormandruw
    @earthwormandruw 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I've been watching porn 25 years and I honestly don't know how to not sexualize every human that I encounter. I haven't had a relationship in 5 years because it's too complicated, porn seems to be my substitute and now I don't even want a relationship anymore. I want to stop and I want a different perspective on life outside of sex sex sex but I don't know how.

    • @QAIS505
      @QAIS505 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Then I think it is time to look at religions. But to be honest with you. You need time to open your eyes, you have been in the dark for a very long time.
      WOW 25 years I am not sure how hard it was! Take a break and spend some time reading in religions and don't stop reading at least you can start a new habit.

    • @antiquesrestoration3874
      @antiquesrestoration3874 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Seek help.

  • @Everything28208
    @Everything28208 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    She's so badass😎😅 apart from being so right 👍🏻

  • @Nihaowilson
    @Nihaowilson 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Dead on lady. I'm raising my daughter with these very same viewpoints'. AND she's half Asian AND oh by the way, this is her Caucasian Dad posting this... 🤔😛😂

  • @FleurOlivia
    @FleurOlivia 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

  • @adampark4199
    @adampark4199 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    if woman are allowed to not marry not have kids have sex as much as they want than why are we against men watching porn? it's their choice too

  • @brookebradford8009
    @brookebradford8009 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    From the get go, I’m gonna go out on a limb, and predict that most, if not all of what might be argued on this topic could be successfully overcome with the realization that 100 different people will view porn and self gratification, in 100 significantly different ways. To assume that such a broad metric will produce the same results considering any specific measure, is folly.

    • @mrpearson1230
      @mrpearson1230 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      💯

    • @brookebradford8009
      @brookebradford8009 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Furthermore, I’ll wager that someone is going to jump into this thread vehemently anxious, and confident in their ability to tear my opinion to shreds…

    • @daniel_brqlo
      @daniel_brqlo 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That rationalization would make it impossible to talk about any broad subject society-wise. When talking about these things on a large scale, you have to assume and go with statisctics and probability...

    • @brookebradford8009
      @brookebradford8009 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@daniel_brqlo otherwise, you might end up in hell, or be reincarnated as a kumquat, or not earn your 12 virgins, right?

  • @jasonblake924
    @jasonblake924 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It would be worse.

  • @switzjon8405
    @switzjon8405 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    6:13 That world would collapse in a day.

  • @falkl3083
    @falkl3083 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    She only talks about how to not make sex, and how porn crates this wrong image about it. but she dousnt talk about how to do it correctly, or how realistic expectations should be. I would realy like to get a kind of solution not only a message how bad our sex immage is.

  • @Peter-uc5ro
    @Peter-uc5ro 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Left over woman center stage😂

  • @jurassicthunder
    @jurassicthunder 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This is just a sophisticated version of hoeing around.

  • @misterx3188
    @misterx3188 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    3:25 - 😲

    • @jurassicthunder
      @jurassicthunder 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      i can only imagine the smell

  • @isakekelund
    @isakekelund 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Whenever someone is very certain about something, it should be seen as a red flag for a potential case of the Dunning-Kruger Effect.

  • @frankbarbano2086
    @frankbarbano2086 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Sounds like she didn’t get “the one” 😪

  • @invox9490
    @invox9490 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Well, I think you should play more videogames! If nothing else to improve your hand-eye coordenation, but also so you can have some pillow-talk with all those 20 year old you are sleeping with. 😬

  • @LittleHouseOnThePrairie23
    @LittleHouseOnThePrairie23 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Oooooof… 3 minutes in and still talking about herself and not the title of the video. Dripping with self indulgence. I’m out.