not everyone CAN work out. I have a spinal cord injury and am stuck for a while... Surprised finding purpose isn't one of them! Made the biggest difference in my life.
One more thing: We need to accept that suffering is part of life. This allows us to be more resilient when tragedy strikes. Resilient people tend to be happier.
But most of us aren't "Suffering" if most of us have to wait in line to get some food; thethe bitching, whineing, gripeing begins...as if they were losing their lives! Pathetic!
@@aarone9000 True about those first world inconveniences but Western society is full of social problems and confusion these days so even though we have more material wealth in the West I feel we should show curiosity when we encounter these badly behaved people if for no other reason than to protect our own sanctity.
Within the span of a year, I lost my career, house, wife and my freedom. I went to prison for 5 years. After I got out of prison, I was forced to move back to my home state. I lived with my elderly parents. They happily received me. Since my return it seems like my expectations in life have been reset. I now greet every day with a joy that I never knew existed.
I have been living a minimalistic life for 5 years now (it slowly developed that way). Honestly, to my own surprise it made me happier. For me, minimalistic means owing only the absolute minimum I need, and it automatically lead to me not comparing with others. Works well for me.
I will tell you the real reasons why people are unhappy majority of the times: - Social Expectations forced by others on certain people, expections which are unrealistic to achieve for many people. - Lack of Money & Societal discrimination from others related to class & wealth (even by colleages & friends). - Class based discriminations in society, promoting division & hostility among people. - Toxic individuals with bad values are put in the position of power, thus encouraging toxicity, class based discriminations. - Bullying, harassment at schools, colleges, jobs, etc., - Toxic educational, work environments. - Bad economy, high inflation & problems with managing to survive. - Burden of diseases & health problems.
*LOUDER* for the kids in the back. Don't allow that nonsense rhetoric to continue from kids who were born with every opportunity to succeed. No, money will *not* make you happy BUT it will assist in the pursuit. Naïve to think otherwise
i think also the thing that has helped me greatly is realizing that happiness should not actually be your goal. it is not normal to only experience happiness all the time nor is it a final resting stage that you'll never leave. you will be happy, and then you will be sad or angry or fearful or everything in between. accepting that these are just feelings that are going to come and go, and not turning any of them into "bad" or unwanted feelings has helped me.
I find i have an attraction toward anger and frustration. It can be difficult sometimes to remember why we feel these and use them constructively, but we don't always have to fight them. I find sometimes even when I'm content I'm wistful, or antsy. Sometimes the emotions overlap in complex ways. It can be difficult to read sometimes.
@@Rorshacked I think I must have have been learning from people who were believers in ACT therapy because I just looked it up and you’re right it basically covers everything I am in the process of doing. Thank you for sharing! 😊
“We live as though there aren't enough hours in the day, but if we do each thing calmly and carefully, we will get it done quicker and with much less stress.” - Viggo Mortensen You are able to bring more of yourself when you concentrate. As the day progresses, you may realize how quickly you accomplish tasks when you slow down to give them your undivided attention. In the words of Viggo Mortensen, “go slow to go fast.”
When I met my SO he said to me “to get the life you want, want the life you have”. That sparked something profound and simple in my imagination and learning how to “amor fati” has transformed my whole life from the INSIDE out. 10 years ago I was an overweight, depressed, C-PTSD suffering, anxious and inflamed mess. Getting up before noon was an accomplishment, reading a book was a miracle, being kind was a chore and self loathing was baked in to entitlement I didn’t even know was there. Anyway, his comment was the start of who I’ve become and when he died suddenly 2 years ago - he’d given me the insight and health I needed to navigate the despair of the loss. We all know something is deeply wrong with our relationship to the external events in our lives… The world is at odds with nature/life and in each of us is the chance-responsibility- possibility to reconcile them. Kindness can be learned, love can produce best outcomes, wisdom is innate if we tap into our relationships with nature.
It’s not the mind’s problem, it’s the society’s problem. Marketing selling the idea that we need more, that we need to compare, chase, achieve instead of just being who we are made to be. Don’t blame the mind for a consumerist society’s problem; those toxic messages that bombard us everyday from every angle of our life.
I’m a person that don’t watch TH-cam ads, don’t watch regular TV, don’t read magazines very often (and their ads), don’t go on Instagram often, don’t view my friends content (everyone is silenced) and I also present the same behaviors. Marketing is a problem? Yes. Society pressures us to behave a certain way? Sure. But we all have the choice not to act like this and we still do. So, the mind may not be the only problem, but probably is the main one
@@emilz0r This was my thoughts exactly. The marketing would not work if you were self-aware and reflective of why I worked on you. If folks dont stop to recognize a miswant when they see it they’ll end up in an unhappiness cycle
@@alexdamacenoI too live the same lifestyle as yours but still I face the same problem. But it maybe the culture, social acceptance Which go side by side and our self-esteem tied to it. Like what Freud called super-ego still lurks in our mind no matter what. Or it may also be our deepest desire.
Thank you for saying this. I'm fed up of the beautiful human mind being treated like it's not the miracle that it is, just because some people got the idea in their heads that currency, social hierarchy, and inanimate objects have more value/substance.
I am so happy that Laurie said that these are not for some one suffering from chronic suicidality or a grave mental illness, because sometimes when I have periods of psychotic depression I become someone different and nothing really works other than my meds prescribed by my psychiatrist. Thank you so much for acknowledging that. ❤
A little different perspective, copy of my comment: I'm a Sociologist/Behavioralist and Historian. (My Recommendations are based on the Thought, Feelings, Beliefs", our Perspective, our Higher Mind and our Conscious Thoughts" + Balancing our "Subconscious Thought Program".). I would like to see a study applying each of our plans, and a comparative of each, and an infusion of both. The Bartlett Plan: Requires a habit of being: 1) "Conscious in Thought" (Present in the Now). 2) + "Applying Higher Mind" (where all Positive Thought Energies reside). 3) Reprogram the "Thought Program" aka "Subconscious Thought Program", the learned ideas that are not accurate and don't support a Harmony Mind, and Healthy Emotional Development. (Dr Bruce Lipton, recommended methods for "Reprogramming the Subconscious Thought Program", see his website 4) Balanced Self Love is essential, we must apply self care and balanced self love, then we can actually love other from a healthy Perspective and engage in an Emotionally Mature relationship with others. 5) An indepth Comprehension of the "Universal Law of Attraction" and applying it for our success on every level, as it is Absolute and we benefit from these Thought, Self Concept, and Behavioral Model. The "Universal Laws", particularly the Universal Law of Attraction is the most valuable concept, understanding, and application, for all to Master. Success with Patients suffering from Clinical Depression, Victims of NPD Abuse, C-PTSD, and Adjustment challenges in young adults. Beth Bartlett Sociologist/Behavioralist and Historian Let's do a Study and raise the happiness Vibe.
As a content creator, I stopped caring of what other people think about me and follow whatever gives me purpose. Taking care of myself has made me happy.
@@User-jr7vf I care about what other people think would be quality content, but not how they would think of me, I want to be a 'good person' in life, even if I didn't create any content, so I don't care about changing myself or wasting energy thinking about what others think, because you can never really control the perception others have anyway.
I have not even watched this video but as a person who is 63 this year 64 I’ve learned from being alone over 20 years. That happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy. It’s what makes you happy that makes the difference what makes me happy or peaceful Are the quiet things in life a sunset… playing with my dogs in the yard, creating some thing, whether it be an arbor for my garden or a shelf for my kitchen planting flowers accomplishments make me feel good they make me happy. I want nothing more than peace, quiet enjoyment sitting under my willow tree in the hammock in the spring, reading, a book, listening to the birds, I do not fight with people anymore. I have pushed my entire family out of my life because they are narcissistic stirring up things that don’t need to be stirred up making people unhappy. I’m not going to live that life anymore. I choose to be happy I choose to be alone, because inviting people into my life does not make me happy, it’s emotional upset and I won’t go there anymore ever so I watch the sun come up in the morning I take a deep breath and I have a cuppa coffee I play with my dogs I laugh, I feed the birds I plant flowers I go for walks nobody has to be miserable. It’s your choice choices are what we do the consequences of those choices. Can either make us happy or make us miserable.
I've actually seen research say that money does indeed make people happier, but it depends on what you do with the money. Spending it on others and on experiences makes you happier than on material goods. To me personally, it doesn't make sense that money wouldn't make you happier. Money can buy you better quality food, better quality healthcare, you can take control of your environment more, you have better access to exercise and advice on how to do it best, and it can give you access to in person hobbies where you can meet people with similar interests. People also often say that they feel better dressing up and taking care of themselves, and that also costs money.
100% money helps to contribute to happiness but depending on your mental health and outlook on life, it won't solve it all, but I do agree it helps. less to worry about
From 10 dollar to 100 dollar of course you will be happier. But from 1mil and add another 100 dollar on that wont make you happier, but adding another 1mil will make you happier. But if you already have 1bil getting another 100mil won't make you happier.
Incorrect. 1. It's not really "happiness" they are measuring. 2. It's only up to a certain amount of money/ security. 3. It's not the money that brings results, but rather the absence of poverty. Money does NOT bring happiness, but poverty can bring sadness. According to Victor Frankl, ultimately neither truly needs to have a role.
Money amplifies who you already are. I used to work with millionaires regularly as a financial advisor and they were some of the happiest and unhappiest people I'd ever met. If you're not happy without it, you won't be happy with it.
Excellent points. Here is an interesting antidote to depression: Rescue, and care for an animal in desperate condition, an older animal that needs love and attention, and this animal's gratitude will transform your life in ways unimaginable. The love reciprocity that emerges from rescuing such animal makes for one of the most beautiful life experiences, and in the end, one may ask; who ended up saving whom?
A couple of days ago, I came back from a trip which my friends and I had signed up as volunteers. We spent the *whole* day running around from place to place since we were in the "transport" section of volunteers. Almost without time to take a break we were engaging with hundreds of different people all the time, in a constant social interaction between strangers and our mates. Which means that, during those four days of madness, I felt the happiest. Despite my sweaty hair and stiffness in my whole body, my face was shining with light, as I would notice later on in the photos that I took. And that's because the five ways to achieve happiness that this video shows ( 4:04 ) where bring put in practice: 1. Social connection (As I explained, there was constant interaction) 2. Other-orientedness (My friends and I worked for others, without expecting anything in return) 3. Gratitude (I felt thankful many times, about many things that I cant even count) 4. Savouring (Every single smile, touch, word of encouragement... It all felt like heaven) 5. Excercise (As I stated before, we really put to test our strength and energy) I want to go back the next year. And I plan to apply the life-style that I've learned there to my everyday life. I won't be easy and sometimes I won't be able to achieve it. But it's worth the try... Specially after experiencing first hand the taste of pure joy and happiness. I really really encourage you guys to try volunteer work. It's simply beautiful.
why does have to be "volunteer" work? why can't the same 5 traits be found in non-volunteer work? why not seek those 5 traits in work? work as in our life ... why not seek those 5 traits in life ? it's like eating healthy makes me feel energetic &: recharged ... let's do it every year ... why not do it every day ... every meal ... haha peace ✌️😅 .
@@MrPelikan500 as I stated before, I plan to apply the life-style that I learnt in my everyday life. It doesn't have to be volunteer work, but it's something that marks the five things at once. Of course you can apply those things at work, house... That's the spirit!! :)
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Yes, dr.porass. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Why we are not happy: 1. we have false intuition of what actually can make us happy 2. perpetually comparing what we have with what other people have 3. what we think make us happy at first place, doesn’t have the same impact over time 4. we have a bias about what might happen in the future
I think you may have gotten number 4 slightly wrong. I thought it meant that we expect things and put emphasis on things that have a huge impact, and assume happiness comes from things like it (which is why it's connected to hedonistic adaptation).
@@RPGgrenade My understanding of "Impact Bias" is, We might think, a particular thing/person might give us happiness for a very long time. But it may not be very impactful and may be short-lived. This is why it's called "Impact Bias".
1. Get out of your ego and appreciate your gifts 2. Give something to someone else 3. Do something meaningful 4. Life is more than possessions. _Excellent job Laurie Santos.
This is really interesting but I wish people stopped saying "money doesn't buy happiness". Money gives you peace of mind, money buys you a house in a nice quiet neighborhood, holidays to see the world, it frees you from wondering how you're gonna take care of your ageing parents and later of yourself. Happiness is not just money, but it still matters a whole lot.
It's not the money that brings the happiness. Nearly no-one that wins lottery jackpots ends up happy in the long run. It's what you do with the money that can bring happiness.. That said, you really do need to have a minimum amount of money. Too much is bad in its own way. So yeah money doesn't buy happiness because happiness can not be bought. It has no price. Even wishing you had more is just another road to unhappiness. The nice house isn't necessarily happiness, look at the new and see the horrible unhappiness wealthy people with nice house have. According to one of the points in this video, savoring what you along with being grateful will bring the happiness. I have a shitty house, but it doesn't mean I'm unhappy.
I have been a huge fan of Laurie since the science of well being and I listen semi regularly to the happiness lap. I find most of the tips and tricks and subjects she brings up very useful. The only point I really struggle to convince myself with is the "stop comparing yourself to others" point. This is not just a mind tendency, but also a societal daily force ! We've been trained since school to compare ourselves to others, and as adults it feels like we're trapped in a rat race. I think most of this comparison to others doesn't stem from being jealous, rather by being terrified of the future, and feeling that others are doing better than us in the modern survival game :)
actually yes comparison is the hardest one. As comparison issue is also linked with evolution, that is, it goes back 3.5 billion years, so this is the most difficult thing, to oppose the 3.5 billion evolution of the brain.
That's interesting. I consider myself somewhat on the opposite end of that. I have worked with/for several wealthy people and, in general, they focus on maintaining their money and power which makes them unpleasant people to spend time with. Naturally beautiful people are often hollow and uninteresting. Artificially beautiful people (through surgery) seem artificial to me. So I guess I do compare myself to others, but I don't strive to be like them because I don't see the value in what they have. With that said, I reject too many people, and find myself starving for meaningful relationships.
@@Hatasiz_CoolExactly. Comparison is a natural response and can be helpful, when used properly. The problem is when we begin to compete and in doing so, feed the ego to the point that we feel sour, because someone else has more or is more. Something that can help with this is to realize that we all have different paths, different lessons and can either choose to feel bad when we see others win or choose to feel good for them and celebrate it! It’s that “if you win, I win” and vice versa attitude 🙏💜✨.
I've almost never compared myself to others, because I don't judge people from what they show to the world, you never know what are their mindsets, if they are truly happy or not. From what I observed, rich people have rich people problems and can't often feel truly happy because of the job they do, the people they had to step over to get what they want, the fear of losing everything, the inability to trust others, etc. I feel lucky to be an average discreet person, with a good enough salary, a simple life, free time for myself and true connections to people. The only person you should compare yourself to is the you from yesterday.
I think the difference now is that we compare ourselves to millions of people, where we used to only compare ourselves to the people immediately around us. We are competing (in our minds) with people who have very different lives from us, had very different upbringings, live, work and study in very different environments. We also do it with very little knowledge of those people's real lives, so we are not really comparing our whole life, to their whole lives, we're comparing one thing we're doing, or not doing, to one thing they're doing or not doing, without context. Comparison is fine, but the way we do it makes the goals that we set as a result, unattainable, or attainable but with consequences that we do not consider beforehand. The richest men for example cannot hold on to their wives, Bezos, Musk, Gates all divorced, Zuckerberg is much younger so we'll see.
Great video! I would say I am happy about 95% of the time, and I do all these things. I am not rich, but I'm not poor. I am very interested in others, love to talk to strangers, I care about my close friends and family and love doing things for others; I genuinely savour good music, good books, art, watching wildlife and being in nature. I also exercise regularly. So this seems to align well with me.
The threshold where more money doesn't help getting happier is much higher than described here. I would have way less obstacles to getting closer to achieving happiness if I could pay for certain matters to be dealt with, if I didn't had to stress about whether doing something nice for myself now won't result in my having hard time getting food later etc. Money isn't enough to get you to the top of the happiness scale, but often it can help hover way above rock bottom.
I agree. Money offers all sorts of possibilities to do the things that make you happy. I feel like a lot of her advice is much easier to follow if you are wealthy.
there is a bunch of correlation here. The implication is that being social and other-oriented will make you happy, but more realistically being happy will make you more social and other oriented. When you're in a good mood you're more likely to be outgoing, but that doesn't mean the day after will necessarily also be better. So that means being social and other irented isn't a cause of happiness but a result.
@hungrymusicwolf ohhhhhh i totes see what you're talking about. I think the problem w being other oriented is if someone has issues setting boundaries, the fawn response, is a ppl pleaser of a mix of all 3, it results in a lot of toxic shit that usually leads them further away from happiness. And yes--i was def the most social when i was the most depressed bc i couldnt stand being alone w myself. Went out 4 or 5 times a week and fully immersed myself in the stories ppl told abt their day as a way to dissociate from my life. But 10 years later w 3 years of therapy on the backend, those skills i learned/developed have come in handy now that im in a good place w socializing. Also as an introvert i set boundaries on the amt of times i socialize thru out the week so i have the energy to be present. Def a quality over quantity thing for me.
The Textbook comprehended, the data, etc, necessary and valuable for a College Instructor. My area is close, but different, Practical Application, (copy 9f my comment): I'm a Sociologist/Behavioralist and Historian. (My Recommendations are based on the Thought, Feelings, Beliefs", our Perspective, our Higher Mind and our Conscious Thoughts" + Balancing our "Subconscious Thought Program".). I would like to see a study applying each of our plans, and a comparative of each, and a potential fusion of the 2. The Bartlett Plan: Requires a habit of being: 1) "Conscious in Thought" (Present in the Now). 2) + "Applying Higher Mind" (where all Positive Thought Energies reside). 3) Reprogram the "Thought Program" aka "Subconscious Thought Program", the learned ideas that are not accurate and don't support a Harmony Mind, and Healthy Emotional Development. (Dr Bruce Lipton, recommended methods for "Reprogramming the Subconscious Thought Program", see his website 4) Balanced Self Love is essential, we must apply self care and balanced self love, then we can actually love other from a healthy Perspective and engage in an Emotionally Mature relationship with others. 5) An indepth Comprehension of the "Universal Law of Attraction" and applying it for our success on every level, as it is Absolute and we benefit from these Thought, Self Concept, and Behavioral Model. The "Universal Laws", particularly the Universal Law of Attraction is the most valuable concept, understanding, and application, for all to Master. Beth Bartlett Sociologist/Behavioralist and Historian Tennessee, USA Let's do a Study and raise that happiness Vibe.
Great video. After learning Freediving several years ago, my wife and I became much more happier. We became more physically active, met a lot new friends, got in touch with nature and became so much grateful. I hope others find their passion.
It’s often the small things that make a big difference in how we feel. Starting a conversation with a stranger. Making new friends. Trying something entirely new like learning a new language or going to the gym. We are social creatures. We are not built to sit inside and stare on our phones. We are made for deep connections to the people around us and to roam nature wondering about the beauty of creation. Whoever is reading this: you are just one good conversation away from feeling like people care and can relate to you! That’s sometimes all it needs to feel better. The world is full of wonderful, interesting human beings and places. It’s really our decision whether we are open to explore them or whether we stay stuck in isolation.
I think rewirements is missing rewilding… our disconnect from nature and natural systems can create rifts in our sense of being human and our place in the universe… waking up with the sun, walking in bare feet on soil, sitting under a tree, watching the birds and bees, watching water flowing in a stream, etc etc … these moments of being present in nature can help create a space for reconnection and sense of belonging
I wonder if the decline of happiness is just because people nowdays are more open to aknowledge that they are sad whereas in the past it was brushed off and not really mentioned most of the time
People are just nostalgic to a time that never was. If you look at literature, 'melancholia' is de riguer for hundreds, or maybe thousands of years. All the greatest literature have depressive, suicidal, melancholic characters and themes. Even children's story are full of elaborate damnation for naughty children. Disney popularised innocence and happiness with Snow White and since then America and thus the world are obsessed to be in this wonderland.
No, I don’t think so. While that may be partly true, the rising suicide rate (especially for young people) suggests that something else is going on. Even if you just focus on the last decade or so, there are some very concerning trends re life satisfaction, mental illness, drug abuse, etc
@@julianrosas9134 This, there is a bigger awareness but imo the biggest impact comes from abrupt and quick societal changes in the last few decades along with a productive model that puts very little emphasis on contemplative work, positive societal change, etc.
@@Dimitris_Half We have pretty reliable numbers for the last 50-60 years though. And like I said, even in the last decade there have been some pretty disturbing trends. It seems like there are some unique problems that people are dealing with today
Money makes me happy. It opens up so many opportunities to have fun, and it eliminates so much stress, worry, and fear. When I have money I can afford to travel, spend time with friends and family, enjoy my hobbies, help others, or just eat the foods I love and live in beautiful surroundings. I don't have to spend all my time working and being stressed and exhausted. Even small amounts of money can make a huge difference in my life. I am just so sick of hearing the same old false "money can't buy happiness" claims. I have had money and it definitely made me happy.
I can agree with quite a few of these. I was severely depressed a couple of years back, to the point where I wanted to end my life. I was depressed for quite a few years actually. I started to practice gratitude every single day, started being more serving to others, and savored every moment possible, even the smallest things. Mind you, while this was all happening, I was(and still am) living in a place that I hate. For the first time in almost a decade, I was actually happy. I was content with my life. I felt like if I died tomorrow, I would have no regrets. It is a practice that you have to be super mindful about though. I stopped doing these things and I ended up sinking a bit, but I am trying to work on getting back there again. It definitely takes work. I know that life has its ups and downs though, and I am at a point in my life where I can accept that. I no longer think that anything is worth taking my life over. I see everything as a lesson, even this moment that isn't the best at this time
I went on a cruise were I was seated with 6 old ladies, I was shocked on day one, the youngest was over 20 years older and several 30+ years older. What did I do, I leaned in and SERVED. I escorted them to the shows each evening, I played cards, dominos and other games with them during the day. I went on excursions with them and planned a wonderful day going all around Miami, from eating in little Havana, to even stopping at a wig shop... LOL! At the end of the cruise, they were all smiles and even though some had been on over 70 cruises in there long life, they stated that this was the BEST cruise they have ever been on. I was happy that I was able to bring so much happiness to others and looking back on that cruise, I realize how much happiness it brought to me as well. 😁
This is far from universal. I am MUCH happier away from other people. Being around people too much stresses me out and exhausts me. I enjoy *some* social contact, but it's far from a priority. What *does* make me happy is being around animals, dogs, cats, etc.
Yup!!!! I’m with this person right here. Human beings can be exhausting so I need time for myself. That’s probably when I’m feeling good about myself the most. This allows me to share that good feeling whether it be through socializing or charity.
That's what I absolutely hate about some kind of vague, undefined, generic "social connection" as a criteria of happiness. There's no happiness being around people 24/7 when those people are your horrible bosses, cruel customers and abusive parents at home. It makes it sound as if any and all "social connection" is good and gets you closer to happiness. It makes it sound as if you're not unhappy because you're surrounded by toxic people, you're unhappy because you're not surrounded by ENOUGH toxic people, or for long enough or whatever. It makes it sound as if the only problem is you, and that if a relationship is toxic and abusive, YOU are just not working hard enough at it. I think the KIND of social connection matters a whole lot. I also think you don't much get to choose the "quality" of the social connections you do have, a LOT of it is pure luck (supportive parents instead of abusive ones, for example). I think those who have had the chance of having a supportive family, finding supportive friends, having stumbled into a supportive workplace, of course those people will tend to WANT and then BE around others more often than other people who are instead mostly surrounded by toxic people. I don't doubt that there is correlation between the amount of time someone is and wants to be around others and their level of happiness. But I'm absolutely disgusted at the suggestion that it's somehow unhappy people's own fault for tending to want to be alone more often, that they "just have to be around other people more".
Yes this type of stuff is misleading. As a only child grew up alone, I have zero issue with being alone adn being single. Having more people at home stress me out 😂
I love this woman. She has a great course in Coursera called the science of well-being. It's really an eye opener to many misconceptions that we have concerning health, wealth and contentment. Which are the backbones of happiness
I'm 48 and I used to be so happy all of the time. Always smiling because it was the little things that made me happy. People would notice and ask if I was taking the "happy pill". I'd laugh it off and wonder why others weren't happy like me. I grew up poor and in a very dysfunctional family but this never soured my happiness. I earned a college degree and worked very lucrative companies and managed to remain happy until about 6 years ago all the unhappy people FINALLY managed to make me absolutely miserable and now I'm depressed and unhappy too.
It's not their fault, you're responsible for your own life...as Viktor Frankl said, the last of human freedoms is to choose one's attitude. There's also a correlation between your age and the difficult teenage years - the two most unhappy times. This is clearly charted in Dr. Peter Attia's book, Outlive. It's called midlife, what Jung described as the crisis of identity. To quote Eckhart Tolle, "the world isn't here to make you happy, it's here to make you more conscious." Keep going.
good point but everyone has a breaking point, after caring for my terminally ill father i just didn't have it in my anymore to try to stay positive and happy @@Andrew-dg7qm
Welcome to the club. Most humans are narcissist and attention whores. Just stay away from most people and only have a small circle of genuine people that support and encourage you. 😊
As someone who is biased towards introversion, the social connections part is always a bit of a struggle. For me, doing things of interest with others has been the best way (I'm an avid cyclist and ride in a local club, for instance). Small talk at at party is exhausting, but riding with others -- even with minimal conversation -- works better once I got to know some of the regulars (and became a regular!). For introverts who find social interaction tiring, the first one is always about finding the right balance.
As someone who's lived most of his life poor, I can honestly say that money does make me much happier. Have you ever been poor, ma'am? Try it & then see how much unhappier you feel.
I never thought we were creatures built to happy. People are being sold a bill of good design to get them to buy more. Don't search for happiness, work for Meaning, and you find Meaning in helping people, especially people you love. This has the added benefit of letting you associate with people who Need help to show you that you Are better off than some others, and generate some gratitude. Great video!
The shot of the person standing on a beach, looking out to sea with surfboard under arm is to me the epitome of happiness. I surfed for almost 5 decades and it was the meaning of my life. Old age and arthritis took it away from me and I don’t think I will ever be happy again even though I have a beloved wife and three good sons. I know I should be thankful with what I do have but nothing will ever replace my surfing.
the two negative sentance parts you expressed are convincing your mind to not be happy. "I don't think I'll ever be happy again" and "nothing will ever replace my surfing" are happiness squelchers. Our minds are programmable. Whenever you think those two thoughts, turn them around and tell yourself, "I will eventually find a joy that will affect me like surfing" or "I'm so thankful for those times, and am thankful I got out unscathed and can still enjoy life." Turning negative thinking around the more positive is a big life changer and eventually the mind gets easier to train with practice.
@@JJJettplaneI strongly disagree. Losing the things that were important to me when I was younger, and realizing that I can never have them back, is depressing as hell. Considering what you call yourself, maybe you will appreciate that aviation was one of them. My parents being alive is another.
@@MikeBrown-ex9nh It's okay to disagree. Turning my negative thoughts around to hopeful ones has worked well for me. We've all had enormous losses, or at least will eventually. I've also lost physical mobility and body parts so it's been important to me to learn that I can change my view and thus change my life.
My anecdotal evidence here is: I have been instinctively mostly trying to avoid these "Miswants" and I have always focussed on friends and positive things. I am 40 years old now and I have throughout my life mostly been not just content, but truly happy. Even when I was young I was never too interested in money and luxury, I always thought friends are the only thing that really brings joy and lived by it.
What is the difference between contentment and happiness for you? I'm quite curious to hear what makes the difference and how to get from one to the other and why one might want to.
@@lucnotenboom8370 Good question. I would say that on a daily basis I get truly excited about things, friends, stuff I do at work. Like that I often really just smile all by myself just because I find things fascinating, and beautiful - they make my heart race. Also, I actively think almost every day about the fact of how amazing it is to have such nice people in my life, friends that have been there for me 35+ years, and also through bad times like losses of loved ones and always showed support at any cost. That I have a boss with zero ego who is always there to help and support, occasionally to his own detriment. And much more. So I really actively am constantly aware of how lucky I am in many aspects. "Content" might be a state that you take most positive things more for granted but at the same time, you don't feel bad or depressed often. You can enjoy many things in life, but you don't get thrills from them regularly and often ponder about how lucky you are. That's just my rough idea of how to separate the two concepts, there might be smarter ways of describing them.
Now I know why I’m pathological happy. I’ve already got all the things that me happy. I only compare myself with myself, in my experience I’m always progressing someway. I can make killer sudoku’s of the 6th level now. Every day I enjoy having breakfast with cat and dog. Reading a good book, falling asleep, enjoying the sofa I bought 5 year ago, and my amazing wash dry Miele combination, my Birkenstock sandals makes me happy for 50 years now. It’s my second pair. There must be something terrible wrong with me.
Really great video! From someone who had been working as a developmental behavior specialist for over 3 decades, I have two observations. 1. Stop validation seeking, 2.) get out of your head! The control, escape, and fantasy you have constructed in your head is magical thinking.
This Video is an amazing one!! I have always preached to the people I know that showing Gratitude when you are angry on someone instead of reacting will help you think clearly and concentrate on the situation rather than the person. I am overwhelmed how the concept of happiness is forced into ourselves which leads us to do so many things, ending us making unhappy!!
This was the best "Happiness Summary" I have even seen. This is a topic that I research a lot (as a hobby, not as a professional researcher) and after a couple of years I have created a Framework for myself that is extremely aligned with the key points mentioned in the video. The overlap between the framework that I created and the video is truly incredible, so now I feel like I need to update my framework considering the insights of this video. If anyone is wondering, here is my framework: 1. Seek Simplicity (reducing complexity), withtout being simplistic (i.e. ignoring important parts) 2. Seek Health in three key areas of life: financial health, physical health (i.e., excercise) and mental health 3. Be Simpathetic, withtout being a Sycophant (i.e., kiss-ass) nor a muggle 4. Be peaceful, withtout loosing my sense of urgency 5. Be greateful and truly savor life (be present) Try to apply that to my marriage, in relationship with my family and friends, and also in my job. That has become an important guidance for myself, that will be truly evolved after taking into account the insights share on this video.
I'm 56 and retired. I own my own home, have 2 great grown up sons and a fantastic partner. For the last 8 years I have fought 4 battles with cancer and at times things have been very challenging, but I am actually very happy with what bit of life I may have left. Basically I have reconnected with friends and family and spend quality time with them when I can. I also enjoy being entertained so take great pleasure in little things like day trips, live music and visits to the theatre. It isn't about having lots of money, it's about how you connect with other people and experiencing the simple pleasures in life. BE HAPPY...
For the past 2 years, I've been living a minimalist lifestyle. To me, minimalism means only owning the bare essentials I truly need. My focus shifted to appreciating what I have rather than envying what I don't.
That's what she addressed when she mentioned "roof over your head" and having your needs met. Nobody is going to be happy when there is not time but to survive.
Some of this really makes me think of AA, I joined AA in the last year and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. Not just to stay sober, but it’s helped me figure out how to stay sober AND be happy. It’s pretty simple too, I think the principles could help pretty much anyone, not just alcoholics.
As someone who has had lots of money and not lots of money. Money makes me significantly happier and being in debt makes me significantly more miserable.
yes, but it's not a causation. I'm poor as shit and happy as can be. It's attitude not $ that makes the difference. There are more miserably rich people than happy rich people anyway.
Happiness like all emotions are temporary and fleeting... When you're happy be happy... But what I prefer is to be content most of the time... Because when you're content it easily facilitates happiness...
Poverty can guarantee unhappiness. It is impossible to be happy if you must struggle constantly for every bit of food and shelter. The system is so broken that no matter how hard you work or how many jobs you have if you are reliant on minimum wage jobs you cannot find enough contentment, time and energy to be happy.
This isn’t true. The world is full of people living in poverty, suffering, and hardship beyond your comprehension that find ways to be happy. It’s also full of wealthy people that end up miserable. Don’t have all the answers, but this ain’t it
@@julianrosas9134 Outliers. Just because there are some happy poor people and there are some unhappy rich people doesn’t mean the majority of them are that way. Money is a HUGE factor in whether you are going to be happy or not. Lack of money = stress. That is a fact. I don’t know what your financial situation is so I won’t make assumptions but I will say that I’m unhappy and I know for sure that if all of my financial needs were taken care of and I had no debt or struggles to pay bills, I would be happy. Would I get that “hedonic adaptation” and not be as happy after a while? Maybe. But I wouldn’t be stressed about bills and food and getting by. That alone is way more important than every single other thing said in this video.
I’m so happy this vid exists. Just putting out there that money doesn’t solve inner problems is something that every1 needs to hear. Getting up in the morning and having a purpose is what it’s all about
Hey I found your podcast a few weeks ago. I’m having trouble learning right now, with work stress and anxiety. Listening to you has made me finally realize I need to take a more active role in my happiness. TLDR you’re awesome and thank you.
This is beautiful to see, I took the happiness course by Dr Laurie some years ago, practiced what she taught and I've enjoyed every bit of it from gratitude, meditation, savouring to working out. Thank you for bringing her on.
😅just this morning I decided to try and go through a whole day with complaining once! I've never tried it before, then this video popped up and it was perfect! how many are willing to try that also????
Love this video. It seems we’ve been conditioned to be unhappy, we being trained to compare early . They’ve thought us that the person with the highest grade is better , and so we continue on that path unconsciously. . Honestly I have found that awareness,mindfulness and having a spiritual practice also leads to happiness and provides the path to leave a truly meaningful life . .
I wish people would stop vilifying money. Money is a tool that unfortunately most people misuse. That's what makes you unhappy. And who says you're supposed to be happy all the time. Maybe instead you're supposed to learn to appreciate the small wins in life instead of focusing on the negativity. Easiest way to have everything you want is to want nothing.
@@hastypete2 depends on your definition of happiness. People trade money for instant gratification, but that isn't happiness. Having enough money to be safe and secure and have all your needs met is happiness. The ability to do, go as you please is happiness. That only comes with enough wealth to do so. Otherwise, you're just owned by someone else who pays you just enough to keep chasing that happiness.
@peterholley2606 if you think that money isn't everything, try living without it. Money gives you peace of mind, freedom to come and go as you please, relieves worry and stress. It's hard being broke. Hard does not equate to happiness to me.
Having more money absolutely can bring you more happiness. But you have to do the right things with that money to make it happen. Buying things for yourself is cool, but buying things for people who you love is awesome. Even better, using your money to pay for experiences with friends and family is probably the best thing you can do to bring more happiness to your life. People with money who aren't happy are probably too selfish, anti-social or are too busy keeping up with the jones' to enjoy the benefits of having wealth.
Love the use of the Stones’ line “You can always get what you want…” But in a talk about happiness, we need to finish the line! “…you just might find, you get what you need!”
Even though I work extremely hard all day long, I have housing problems due to lack of money, my cats and I simply cannot eat well, and I am becoming more and more unhappy about this every day. We are trying to survive. I have great respect for what is said in the video and I am trying to understand it, but at least it doesn't work for me.
This is a great adaptation of her Science of Well-being Course which is available for free online btw. Highly recommend it as Dr. Laurie helps her students understand these topics even deeper
I concur. At age 70 and through observation, experience, intuition, and blessings I live in gratitude, exercise, maintain friendships, do not compare my life to others', and adhere to the attitudes you've suggestions and yes, I'm a happy camper and always have been.
Sorry more money will make anyone happier. With enough money you can get rid of most of your problems hanging over your head. You need money for just about anything in life, money is literally the key to happiness.
While i agree with most points the money part is wrong for me at least. I never had a lot of money but if i get some that i can freely spend for fun stuff it makes me very happy. I can't even imagine how happy i would be if i won the lottery so i could finally travel a bit. I really want to see more of this world before i die.
This video is about the big picture happiness, not the one offs. Everyone is happy when they get some money. And not as much later on. Lasting happiness doesn't depend on money. Winning the lottery is great for a while, but in the long run lottery winners are among the most miserable people.
Lincoln said, most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. Good words! We have more control over our lives and moods than psychiatrists, political leaders, teachers and religious hucksters would have us believe. Don't worry, be happy!
Wow. That was so nice to hear. I have had serious issues with anxiety and panic due to school the last few years. But through all those those negative emotions I never quite understood why my life was still so good. Sure I was suffering a lot and I still am (finishing school this year, hopefully that will help) but I often felt like an Imposter because my life was so enjoyable still. Turns out I have been doing all of these things for as long as I can remember. Sure, I was often times too other-oriented and it was only through therapy and the need to really calm my life down that I managed to have more time for savoring and mindfullness but in some way or another I have always felt great joy and love experiencing the world and I am so grateful for my happy mind. I hope that I can soon overcome my mental struggles so that I can turn back more often to this wonderful feeling of being able to enjoy life.
Any unhappiness I experience has everything to do with being homeless in the United States and, barring a significant lottery win, having no chance of being able to afford housing.
Do chase after certain happiness that can hardly be satiable, avoid connecting with certain types of people who constantly drag you to this unsatiating treadmill, know how to be content with little, and develop inner peace connected to the present ground of existence and the nature - this will give us much peace.
This list is extrovert-friendly but not all suggestions are a good fit for introverts (from personal experience); however, it’s interesting to hear that those of us who feel like happiness has never been the default are the “normal” ones.
I agree. This list assumes that the extrovert lifestyle is the best lifestyle. One of the blessings in life the ability be happy without seeking the approval of another human. Your happiness is on shaky grounds if it depends on the approval of another human. The singer Ariana Grande just spent $1.25m seeking the approval of another human. Amazon's Jeff Bezos spent $38b seeking the approval of another human. I shudder to think of my happiness depending on the approval of another human.
I would expand connections not just to other people, but also to other living beings (pets especially!), to nature, and to our own bodies. I could even get mystical and highlight connecting to the universe. In general, connectedness to beings and things beyond one’s own ego drives happiness as well as fulfillment of meaning and purpose (probably something even more fundamental than happiness). You could probably argue that the latter attribute is even adaptive evolutionarily (in imbuing in us a goal-directedness in our behavior).
I learnt from Dr. Robert Sapolsky and Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett’s works that it is less about happiness and more about stress-response. Specifically, minimising chronic stress (lower body budget). Acute stress gets things done, chronic makes us ill. The former is pointed towards a task/goal. The latter just fragments our focus.
1. Be Social
2. Be others-oriented (serve)
3. Gratitude
4. Savor moments (be present)
5. Work-out
not everyone CAN work out. I have a spinal cord injury and am stuck for a while... Surprised finding purpose isn't one of them! Made the biggest difference in my life.
This feels like a chore.
1: be social? I've fallen at the first hurdle
It’s not just being social. It’s doing activities with other people. Simply hanging out gets boring FAST
@@seiwarriors Everything that is worth a damn in life is a chore
One more thing: We need to accept that suffering is part of life. This allows us to be more resilient when tragedy strikes. Resilient people tend to be happier.
Unavoidable suffering is. But most can be avoided. The problem with acceptance is you can end up accepting suffering that can be avoided.
Too much suffering will kill you ...
But most of us aren't "Suffering" if most of us have to wait in line to get some food; thethe bitching, whineing, gripeing begins...as if they were losing their lives! Pathetic!
@@frankgradus9474So will nut-jobs who.."carry"!
@@aarone9000 True about those first world inconveniences but Western society is full of social problems and confusion these days so even though we have more material wealth in the West I feel we should show curiosity when we encounter these badly behaved people if for no other reason than to protect our own sanctity.
Within the span of a year, I lost my career, house, wife and my freedom. I went to prison for 5 years. After I got out of prison, I was forced to move back to my home state. I lived with my elderly parents. They happily received me. Since my return it seems like my expectations in life have been reset. I now greet every day with a joy that I never knew existed.
Nice post. Thank you
Hmm
I have been living a minimalistic life for 5 years now (it slowly developed that way). Honestly, to my own surprise it made me happier. For me, minimalistic means owing only the absolute minimum I need, and it automatically lead to me not comparing with others. Works well for me.
is your creativity also be served minimalistically..
I will tell you the real reasons why people are unhappy majority of the times:
- Social Expectations forced by others on certain people, expections which are unrealistic to achieve for many people.
- Lack of Money & Societal discrimination from others related to class & wealth (even by colleages & friends).
- Class based discriminations in society, promoting division & hostility among people.
- Toxic individuals with bad values are put in the position of power, thus encouraging toxicity, class based discriminations.
- Bullying, harassment at schools, colleges, jobs, etc.,
- Toxic educational, work environments.
- Bad economy, high inflation & problems with managing to survive.
- Burden of diseases & health problems.
how much do you make? Can you really be happy with 44k ?
" I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life," Henry david thoreau
@@kawxki9425food and a place to sleep
Money won't make you happy but being broke will make you sad.
that's probably because you are spiritually broken.
@@jamesgolding432 Back at ya.
@@jamesgolding432 Only a spiritually broken person would say something so nasty.
*LOUDER* for the kids in the back. Don't allow that nonsense rhetoric to continue from kids who were born with every opportunity to succeed. No, money will *not* make you happy BUT it will assist in the pursuit. Naïve to think otherwise
@@Lola23339🎯 The irony is bro absolutely *had* to say that and had nothing else to offer except his broken opinion☕
i think also the thing that has helped me greatly is realizing that happiness should not actually be your goal. it is not normal to only experience happiness all the time nor is it a final resting stage that you'll never leave. you will be happy, and then you will be sad or angry or fearful or everything in between. accepting that these are just feelings that are going to come and go, and not turning any of them into "bad" or unwanted feelings has helped me.
That’s a great outlook, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) highlights a lot of those same sentiments
I find i have an attraction toward anger and frustration.
It can be difficult sometimes to remember why we feel these and use them constructively, but we don't always have to fight them.
I find sometimes even when I'm content I'm wistful, or antsy.
Sometimes the emotions overlap in complex ways.
It can be difficult to read sometimes.
@@Rorshacked I think I must have have been learning from people who were believers in ACT therapy because I just looked it up and you’re right it basically covers everything I am in the process of doing. Thank you for sharing! 😊
“We live as though there aren't enough hours in the day, but if we do each thing calmly and carefully, we will get it done quicker and with much less stress.” - Viggo Mortensen
You are able to bring more of yourself when you concentrate. As the day progresses, you may realize how quickly you accomplish tasks when you slow down to give them your undivided attention. In the words of Viggo Mortensen, “go slow to go fast.”
wow
Thanks
❤
Hurry slowly
Viggo definitely has a restraining order against this dude.
When I met my SO he said to me “to get the life you want, want the life you have”. That sparked something profound and simple in my imagination and learning how to “amor fati” has transformed my whole life from the INSIDE out.
10 years ago I was an overweight, depressed, C-PTSD suffering, anxious and inflamed mess. Getting up before noon was an accomplishment, reading a book was a miracle, being kind was a chore and self loathing was baked in to entitlement I didn’t even know was there.
Anyway, his comment was the start of who I’ve become and when he died suddenly 2 years ago - he’d given me the insight and health I needed to navigate the despair of the loss.
We all know something is deeply wrong with our relationship to the external events in our lives…
The world is at odds with nature/life and in each of us is the chance-responsibility- possibility to reconcile them.
Kindness can be learned, love can produce best outcomes, wisdom is innate if we tap into our relationships with nature.
It’s not the mind’s problem, it’s the society’s problem. Marketing selling the idea that we need more, that we need to compare, chase, achieve instead of just being who we are made to be. Don’t blame the mind for a consumerist society’s problem; those toxic messages that bombard us everyday from every angle of our life.
Taxes
I’m a person that don’t watch TH-cam ads, don’t watch regular TV, don’t read magazines very often (and their ads), don’t go on Instagram often, don’t view my friends content (everyone is silenced) and I also present the same behaviors. Marketing is a problem? Yes. Society pressures us to behave a certain way? Sure. But we all have the choice not to act like this and we still do. So, the mind may not be the only problem, but probably is the main one
@@emilz0r This was my thoughts exactly. The marketing would not work if you were self-aware and reflective of why I worked on you. If folks dont stop to recognize a miswant when they see it they’ll end up in an unhappiness cycle
@@alexdamacenoI too live the same lifestyle as yours but still I face the same problem. But it maybe the culture, social acceptance Which go side by side and our self-esteem tied to it. Like what Freud called super-ego still lurks in our mind no matter what. Or it may also be our deepest desire.
Thank you for saying this. I'm fed up of the beautiful human mind being treated like it's not the miracle that it is, just because some people got the idea in their heads that currency, social hierarchy, and inanimate objects have more value/substance.
I am so happy that Laurie said that these are not for some one suffering from chronic suicidality or a grave mental illness, because sometimes when I have periods of psychotic depression I become someone different and nothing really works other than my meds prescribed by my psychiatrist. Thank you so much for acknowledging that. ❤
A little different perspective, copy of my comment:
I'm a Sociologist/Behavioralist and Historian. (My Recommendations are based on the Thought, Feelings, Beliefs", our Perspective, our Higher Mind and our Conscious Thoughts" + Balancing our "Subconscious Thought Program".).
I would like to see a study applying each of our plans, and a comparative of each, and an infusion of both.
The Bartlett Plan:
Requires a habit of being:
1) "Conscious in Thought" (Present in the Now).
2) + "Applying Higher Mind" (where all Positive Thought Energies reside).
3) Reprogram the "Thought Program" aka "Subconscious Thought Program", the learned ideas that are not accurate and don't support a Harmony Mind, and Healthy Emotional Development.
(Dr Bruce Lipton, recommended methods for "Reprogramming the Subconscious Thought Program", see his website
4) Balanced Self Love is essential, we must apply self care and balanced self love, then we can actually love other from a healthy Perspective and engage in an Emotionally Mature relationship with others.
5) An indepth Comprehension of the "Universal Law of Attraction" and applying it for our success on every level, as it is Absolute and we benefit from these Thought, Self Concept, and Behavioral Model.
The "Universal Laws", particularly the Universal Law of Attraction is the most valuable concept, understanding, and application, for all to Master.
Success with Patients suffering from Clinical Depression, Victims of NPD Abuse, C-PTSD, and Adjustment challenges in young adults.
Beth Bartlett
Sociologist/Behavioralist
and Historian
Let's do a Study and raise the happiness Vibe.
As a content creator, I stopped caring of what other people think about me and follow whatever gives me purpose. Taking care of myself has made me happy.
So you are selfish, got it.
@@IBTU actually quite the opposite
@@IBTUlol how is that selfish
As a content creator, you need to care about what others think, otherwise you will end up loosing your audience and hence, your income.
@@User-jr7vf I care about what other people think would be quality content, but not how they would think of me, I want to be a 'good person' in life, even if I didn't create any content, so I don't care about changing myself or wasting energy thinking about what others think, because you can never really control the perception others have anyway.
I have not even watched this video but as a person who is 63 this year 64 I’ve learned from being alone over 20 years. That happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy. It’s what makes you happy that makes the difference what makes me happy or peaceful Are the quiet things in life a sunset… playing with my dogs in the yard, creating some thing, whether it be an arbor for my garden or a shelf for my kitchen planting flowers accomplishments make me feel good they make me happy. I want nothing more than peace, quiet enjoyment sitting under my willow tree in the hammock in the spring, reading, a book, listening to the birds, I do not fight with people anymore. I have pushed my entire family out of my life because they are narcissistic stirring up things that don’t need to be stirred up making people unhappy. I’m not going to live that life anymore. I choose to be happy I choose to be alone, because inviting people into my life does not make me happy, it’s emotional upset and I won’t go there anymore ever so I watch the sun come up in the morning I take a deep breath and I have a cuppa coffee I play with my dogs I laugh, I feed the birds I plant flowers I go for walks nobody has to be miserable. It’s your choice choices are what we do the consequences of those choices. Can either make us happy or make us miserable.
Okay, but do you long for a companion (that doesn’t bring drama)?
I've actually seen research say that money does indeed make people happier, but it depends on what you do with the money. Spending it on others and on experiences makes you happier than on material goods.
To me personally, it doesn't make sense that money wouldn't make you happier. Money can buy you better quality food, better quality healthcare, you can take control of your environment more, you have better access to exercise and advice on how to do it best, and it can give you access to in person hobbies where you can meet people with similar interests. People also often say that they feel better dressing up and taking care of themselves, and that also costs money.
100% money helps to contribute to happiness but depending on your mental health and outlook on life, it won't solve it all, but I do agree it helps. less to worry about
From 10 dollar to 100 dollar of course you will be happier. But from 1mil and add another 100 dollar on that wont make you happier, but adding another 1mil will make you happier. But if you already have 1bil getting another 100mil won't make you happier.
@@inuhundchien6041what is the point you are trying to make?
Incorrect. 1. It's not really "happiness" they are measuring. 2. It's only up to a certain amount of money/ security. 3. It's not the money that brings results, but rather the absence of poverty.
Money does NOT bring happiness, but poverty can bring sadness.
According to Victor Frankl, ultimately neither truly needs to have a role.
Money amplifies who you already are. I used to work with millionaires regularly as a financial advisor and they were some of the happiest and unhappiest people I'd ever met. If you're not happy without it, you won't be happy with it.
Excellent points. Here is an interesting antidote to depression: Rescue, and care for an animal in desperate condition, an older animal that needs love and attention, and this animal's gratitude will transform your life in ways unimaginable. The love reciprocity that emerges from rescuing such animal makes for one of the most beautiful life experiences, and in the end, one may ask; who ended up saving whom?
Yeah there’s an idea. Screw the old people get an old dog. That’s about the mentality of people.
A couple of days ago, I came back from a trip which my friends and I had signed up as volunteers. We spent the *whole* day running around from place to place since we were in the "transport" section of volunteers. Almost without time to take a break we were engaging with hundreds of different people all the time, in a constant social interaction between strangers and our mates.
Which means that, during those four days of madness, I felt the happiest. Despite my sweaty hair and stiffness in my whole body, my face was shining with light, as I would notice later on in the photos that I took.
And that's because the five ways to achieve happiness that this video shows ( 4:04 ) where bring put in practice:
1. Social connection
(As I explained, there was constant interaction)
2. Other-orientedness
(My friends and I worked for others, without expecting anything in return)
3. Gratitude
(I felt thankful many times, about many things that I cant even count)
4. Savouring
(Every single smile, touch, word of encouragement... It all felt like heaven)
5. Excercise
(As I stated before, we really put to test our strength and energy)
I want to go back the next year. And I plan to apply the life-style that I've learned there to my everyday life. I won't be easy and sometimes I won't be able to achieve it. But it's worth the try... Specially after experiencing first hand the taste of pure joy and happiness.
I really really encourage you guys to try volunteer work. It's simply beautiful.
God bless you.
Yep I felt the same with my friends. I'd give many things to experince it again!
why does have to be "volunteer" work?
why can't the same 5 traits be found in non-volunteer work?
why not seek those 5 traits in work?
work as in our life ...
why not seek those 5 traits in life ?
it's like eating healthy makes me feel energetic &: recharged ...
let's do it every year ...
why not do it every day ... every meal ... haha peace ✌️😅
.
@@MrPelikan500 as I stated before, I plan to apply the life-style that I learnt in my everyday life. It doesn't have to be volunteer work, but it's something that marks the five things at once. Of course you can apply those things at work, house... That's the spirit!! :)
Hi! Could you share what volunteer experience it was? I’m finding that I may need to sign up for such an opportunity :)
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Yes, dr.porass. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Yes he is dr.porass.
Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episode, enough to start working on my mental health.
Can dr.porass send to me in UK?
Why we are not happy:
1. we have false intuition of what actually can make us happy
2. perpetually comparing what we have with what other people have
3. what we think make us happy at first place, doesn’t have the same impact over time
4. we have a bias about what might happen in the future
How to tackle these: be social, be other-oriented, focus on blessing, paying more on good stuff than the bad stuff in life, do exercises
I think you may have gotten number 4 slightly wrong. I thought it meant that we expect things and put emphasis on things that have a huge impact, and assume happiness comes from things like it (which is why it's connected to hedonistic adaptation).
@@RPGgrenade My understanding of "Impact Bias" is, We might think, a particular thing/person might give us happiness for a very long time. But it may not be very impactful and may be short-lived. This is why it's called "Impact Bias".
What make u not happy:
1. The lack of sun
2. The lack of money.
Not necessarily in that order
@@moviemagic7481 nobody can give u happiness except yourself
1. Get out of your ego and appreciate your gifts 2. Give something to someone else 3. Do something meaningful 4. Life is more than possessions. _Excellent job Laurie Santos.
This is really interesting but I wish people stopped saying "money doesn't buy happiness". Money gives you peace of mind, money buys you a house in a nice quiet neighborhood, holidays to see the world, it frees you from wondering how you're gonna take care of your ageing parents and later of yourself. Happiness is not just money, but it still matters a whole lot.
It's not the money that brings the happiness. Nearly no-one that wins lottery jackpots ends up happy in the long run. It's what you do with the money that can bring happiness.. That said, you really do need to have a minimum amount of money. Too much is bad in its own way. So yeah money doesn't buy happiness because happiness can not be bought. It has no price. Even wishing you had more is just another road to unhappiness. The nice house isn't necessarily happiness, look at the new and see the horrible unhappiness wealthy people with nice house have. According to one of the points in this video, savoring what you along with being grateful will bring the happiness. I have a shitty house, but it doesn't mean I'm unhappy.
I remember Laurie from when I was doing the "the science of well-being" course! so nice to see her still active on youtube.
I have been a huge fan of Laurie since the science of well being and I listen semi regularly to the happiness lap. I find most of the tips and tricks and subjects she brings up very useful.
The only point I really struggle to convince myself with is the "stop comparing yourself to others" point. This is not just a mind tendency, but also a societal daily force ! We've been trained since school to compare ourselves to others, and as adults it feels like we're trapped in a rat race. I think most of this comparison to others doesn't stem from being jealous, rather by being terrified of the future, and feeling that others are doing better than us in the modern survival game :)
actually yes comparison is the hardest one. As comparison issue is also linked with evolution, that is, it goes back 3.5 billion years, so this is the most difficult thing, to oppose the 3.5 billion evolution of the brain.
That's interesting. I consider myself somewhat on the opposite end of that. I have worked with/for several wealthy people and, in general, they focus on maintaining their money and power which makes them unpleasant people to spend time with. Naturally beautiful people are often hollow and uninteresting. Artificially beautiful people (through surgery) seem artificial to me. So I guess I do compare myself to others, but I don't strive to be like them because I don't see the value in what they have. With that said, I reject too many people, and find myself starving for meaningful relationships.
@@Hatasiz_CoolExactly. Comparison is a natural response and can be helpful, when used properly. The problem is when we begin to compete and in doing so, feed the ego to the point that we feel sour, because someone else has more or is more. Something that can help with this is to realize that we all have different paths, different lessons and can either choose to feel bad when we see others win or choose to feel good for them and celebrate it! It’s that “if you win, I win” and vice versa attitude 🙏💜✨.
I've almost never compared myself to others, because I don't judge people from what they show to the world, you never know what are their mindsets, if they are truly happy or not.
From what I observed, rich people have rich people problems and can't often feel truly happy because of the job they do, the people they had to step over to get what they want, the fear of losing everything, the inability to trust others, etc.
I feel lucky to be an average discreet person, with a good enough salary, a simple life, free time for myself and true connections to people.
The only person you should compare yourself to is the you from yesterday.
I think the difference now is that we compare ourselves to millions of people, where we used to only compare ourselves to the people immediately around us. We are competing (in our minds) with people who have very different lives from us, had very different upbringings, live, work and study in very different environments. We also do it with very little knowledge of those people's real lives, so we are not really comparing our whole life, to their whole lives, we're comparing one thing we're doing, or not doing, to one thing they're doing or not doing, without context. Comparison is fine, but the way we do it makes the goals that we set as a result, unattainable, or attainable but with consequences that we do not consider beforehand. The richest men for example cannot hold on to their wives, Bezos, Musk, Gates all divorced, Zuckerberg is much younger so we'll see.
Great video! I would say I am happy about 95% of the time, and I do all these things. I am not rich, but I'm not poor. I am very interested in others, love to talk to strangers, I care about my close friends and family and love doing things for others; I genuinely savour good music, good books, art, watching wildlife and being in nature. I also exercise regularly. So this seems to align well with me.
That's awesome !
The threshold where more money doesn't help getting happier is much higher than described here. I would have way less obstacles to getting closer to achieving happiness if I could pay for certain matters to be dealt with, if I didn't had to stress about whether doing something nice for myself now won't result in my having hard time getting food later etc.
Money isn't enough to get you to the top of the happiness scale, but often it can help hover way above rock bottom.
I agree. Money offers all sorts of possibilities to do the things that make you happy. I feel like a lot of her advice is much easier to follow if you are wealthy.
@@LadyJane1753 yes money would get u out in the world or in the woods not stuck in ur mind so much
there is a bunch of correlation here. The implication is that being social and other-oriented will make you happy, but more realistically being happy will make you more social and other oriented. When you're in a good mood you're more likely to be outgoing, but that doesn't mean the day after will necessarily also be better. So that means being social and other irented isn't a cause of happiness but a result.
Could be causation, too, y'know, or a bit of both.
Who in your life have you seen attain happiness without being social and other oriented?
@@hollys6299 Rather than that, I've seen every single person who focused their life on being social and other oriented be miserable.
@hungrymusicwolf ohhhhhh i totes see what you're talking about. I think the problem w being other oriented is if someone has issues setting boundaries, the fawn response, is a ppl pleaser of a mix of all 3, it results in a lot of toxic shit that usually leads them further away from happiness.
And yes--i was def the most social when i was the most depressed bc i couldnt stand being alone w myself. Went out 4 or 5 times a week and fully immersed myself in the stories ppl told abt their day as a way to dissociate from my life. But 10 years later w 3 years of therapy on the backend, those skills i learned/developed have come in handy now that im in a good place w socializing. Also as an introvert i set boundaries on the amt of times i socialize thru out the week so i have the energy to be present. Def a quality over quantity thing for me.
@@hassassinator8858 Yes, it could be synergistic
Laurie Santos is really skilled in explaining the core ideas simple and understandable. this video is a nice summary of her work!
The Textbook comprehended, the data, etc, necessary and valuable for a College Instructor.
My area is close, but different, Practical Application, (copy 9f my comment):
I'm a Sociologist/Behavioralist and Historian. (My Recommendations are based on the Thought, Feelings, Beliefs", our Perspective, our Higher Mind and our Conscious Thoughts" + Balancing our "Subconscious Thought Program".).
I would like to see a study applying each of our plans, and a comparative of each, and a potential fusion of the 2.
The Bartlett Plan:
Requires a habit of being:
1) "Conscious in Thought" (Present in the Now).
2) + "Applying Higher Mind" (where all Positive Thought Energies reside).
3) Reprogram the "Thought Program" aka "Subconscious Thought Program", the learned ideas that are not accurate and don't support a Harmony Mind, and Healthy Emotional Development.
(Dr Bruce Lipton, recommended methods for "Reprogramming the Subconscious Thought Program", see his website
4) Balanced Self Love is essential, we must apply self care and balanced self love, then we can actually love other from a healthy Perspective and engage in an Emotionally Mature relationship with others.
5) An indepth Comprehension of the "Universal Law of Attraction" and applying it for our success on every level, as it is Absolute and we benefit from these Thought, Self Concept, and Behavioral Model.
The "Universal Laws", particularly the Universal Law of Attraction is the most valuable concept, understanding, and application, for all to Master.
Beth Bartlett
Sociologist/Behavioralist
and Historian
Tennessee, USA
Let's do a Study and raise that happiness Vibe.
Great video. After learning Freediving several years ago, my wife and I became much more happier. We became more physically active, met a lot new friends, got in touch with nature and became so much grateful. I hope others find their passion.
It’s often the small things that make a big difference in how we feel. Starting a conversation with a stranger. Making new friends. Trying something entirely new like learning a new language or going to the gym. We are social creatures. We are not built to sit inside and stare on our phones. We are made for deep connections to the people around us and to roam nature wondering about the beauty of creation. Whoever is reading this: you are just one good conversation away from feeling like people care and can relate to you! That’s sometimes all it needs to feel better. The world is full of wonderful, interesting human beings and places. It’s really our decision whether we are open to explore them or whether we stay stuck in isolation.
People that say money won't makes you happier clearly have no idea about poverty.
💯
Did you listen to the video though? She said IF you can put food on the table and have a roof over your head then money won’t make you happier. Listen
@@QuidwitchhDon't forget money to pay for heating and cooling, water, rent or rates
I've visited some poor countries and they seam waaaay more happy vs some rich countries.
It won’t make you happier, it just makes life easier
I think rewirements is missing rewilding… our disconnect from nature and natural systems can create rifts in our sense of being human and our place in the universe… waking up with the sun, walking in bare feet on soil, sitting under a tree, watching the birds and bees, watching water flowing in a stream, etc etc … these moments of being present in nature can help create a space for reconnection and sense of belonging
Yes 💯. Plus Savouring all that.
I wonder if the decline of happiness is just because people nowdays are more open to aknowledge that they are sad whereas in the past it was brushed off and not really mentioned most of the time
People are just nostalgic to a time that never was. If you look at literature, 'melancholia' is de riguer for hundreds, or maybe thousands of years. All the greatest literature have depressive, suicidal, melancholic characters and themes. Even children's story are full of elaborate damnation for naughty children.
Disney popularised innocence and happiness with Snow White and since then America and thus the world are obsessed to be in this wonderland.
No, I don’t think so. While that may be partly true, the rising suicide rate (especially for young people) suggests that something else is going on. Even if you just focus on the last decade or so, there are some very concerning trends re life satisfaction, mental illness, drug abuse, etc
@@julianrosas9134 This, there is a bigger awareness but imo the biggest impact comes from abrupt and quick societal changes in the last few decades along with a productive model that puts very little emphasis on contemplative work, positive societal change, etc.
@@Dimitris_Half We have pretty reliable numbers for the last 50-60 years though. And like I said, even in the last decade there have been some pretty disturbing trends. It seems like there are some unique problems that people are dealing with today
It's not "just because" of that, I can assure you
Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude! Is the key
You are smart 😊
Money makes me happy. It opens up so many opportunities to have fun, and it eliminates so much stress, worry, and fear. When I have money I can afford to travel, spend time with friends and family, enjoy my hobbies, help others, or just eat the foods I love and live in beautiful surroundings. I don't have to spend all my time working and being stressed and exhausted. Even small amounts of money can make a huge difference in my life. I am just so sick of hearing the same old false "money can't buy happiness" claims. I have had money and it definitely made me happy.
I think many people are unhappy, but do a good job of masking it.
Yes, you are right.
I can agree with quite a few of these. I was severely depressed a couple of years back, to the point where I wanted to end my life. I was depressed for quite a few years actually. I started to practice gratitude every single day, started being more serving to others, and savored every moment possible, even the smallest things. Mind you, while this was all happening, I was(and still am) living in a place that I hate. For the first time in almost a decade, I was actually happy. I was content with my life. I felt like if I died tomorrow, I would have no regrets. It is a practice that you have to be super mindful about though. I stopped doing these things and I ended up sinking a bit, but I am trying to work on getting back there again. It definitely takes work. I know that life has its ups and downs though, and I am at a point in my life where I can accept that. I no longer think that anything is worth taking my life over. I see everything as a lesson, even this moment that isn't the best at this time
I went on a cruise were I was seated with 6 old ladies, I was shocked on day one, the youngest was over 20 years older and several 30+ years older. What did I do, I leaned in and SERVED. I escorted them to the shows each evening, I played cards, dominos and other games with them during the day. I went on excursions with them and planned a wonderful day going all around Miami, from eating in little Havana, to even stopping at a wig shop... LOL! At the end of the cruise, they were all smiles and even though some had been on over 70 cruises in there long life, they stated that this was the BEST cruise they have ever been on. I was happy that I was able to bring so much happiness to others and looking back on that cruise, I realize how much happiness it brought to me as well. 😁
This is far from universal. I am MUCH happier away from other people. Being around people too much stresses me out and exhausts me. I enjoy *some* social contact, but it's far from a priority. What *does* make me happy is being around animals, dogs, cats, etc.
Right. AS IF there has never been a solitary monk that has been happy.
Yup!!!! I’m with this person right here. Human beings can be exhausting so I need time for myself. That’s probably when I’m feeling good about myself the most. This allows me to share that good feeling whether it be through socializing or charity.
That's what I absolutely hate about some kind of vague, undefined, generic "social connection" as a criteria of happiness. There's no happiness being around people 24/7 when those people are your horrible bosses, cruel customers and abusive parents at home. It makes it sound as if any and all "social connection" is good and gets you closer to happiness. It makes it sound as if you're not unhappy because you're surrounded by toxic people, you're unhappy because you're not surrounded by ENOUGH toxic people, or for long enough or whatever. It makes it sound as if the only problem is you, and that if a relationship is toxic and abusive, YOU are just not working hard enough at it. I think the KIND of social connection matters a whole lot. I also think you don't much get to choose the "quality" of the social connections you do have, a LOT of it is pure luck (supportive parents instead of abusive ones, for example). I think those who have had the chance of having a supportive family, finding supportive friends, having stumbled into a supportive workplace, of course those people will tend to WANT and then BE around others more often than other people who are instead mostly surrounded by toxic people. I don't doubt that there is correlation between the amount of time someone is and wants to be around others and their level of happiness. But I'm absolutely disgusted at the suggestion that it's somehow unhappy people's own fault for tending to want to be alone more often, that they "just have to be around other people more".
Yes this type of stuff is misleading. As a only child grew up alone, I have zero issue with being alone adn being single. Having more people at home stress me out 😂
Well, balance I guess.@@princeamu
I love this woman. She has a great course in Coursera called the science of well-being. It's really an eye opener to many misconceptions that we have concerning health, wealth and contentment. Which are the backbones of happiness
She's in coursera? Well, better check her out then!
May I know what do you get out of that course? Interested in checking it out but I don't have Coursera
its free i just signed up - Ill update as I do the 12ish hours, @@samelis6546
I'm 48 and I used to be so happy all of the time. Always smiling because it was the little things that made me happy. People would notice and ask if I was taking the "happy pill". I'd laugh it off and wonder why others weren't happy like me. I grew up poor and in a very dysfunctional family but this never soured my happiness. I earned a college degree and worked very lucrative companies and managed to remain happy until about 6 years ago all the unhappy people FINALLY managed to make me absolutely miserable and now I'm depressed and unhappy too.
What happened? How specifically did they bring up unhappiness in you?
It's not their fault, you're responsible for your own life...as Viktor Frankl said, the last of human freedoms is to choose one's attitude. There's also a correlation between your age and the difficult teenage years - the two most unhappy times. This is clearly charted in Dr. Peter Attia's book, Outlive. It's called midlife, what Jung described as the crisis of identity. To quote Eckhart Tolle, "the world isn't here to make you happy, it's here to make you more conscious." Keep going.
good point but everyone has a breaking point, after caring for my terminally ill father i just didn't have it in my anymore to try to stay positive and happy @@Andrew-dg7qm
Welcome to the club. Most humans are narcissist and attention whores. Just stay away from most people and only have a small circle of genuine people that support and encourage you. 😊
As someone who is biased towards introversion, the social connections part is always a bit of a struggle. For me, doing things of interest with others has been the best way (I'm an avid cyclist and ride in a local club, for instance). Small talk at at party is exhausting, but riding with others -- even with minimal conversation -- works better once I got to know some of the regulars (and became a regular!). For introverts who find social interaction tiring, the first one is always about finding the right balance.
I agree. That is why I love yoga classes, a group, but we don't talk to each other during class. Yet the class creates a bond.
I think there’s merit in knowing your personal power (introversion) nothing wrong with that … if being too social doesn’t bring u joy forget it 👍
As someone who's lived most of his life poor, I can honestly say that money does make me much happier. Have you ever been poor, ma'am? Try it & then see how much unhappier you feel.
Not true, I’m the brokest I’ve ever been , but I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been.
The reason having enough doesn’t make you happier is because having enough is never guaranteed
Couldn't agree more. As someone who struggled to pay for the most basic things such as food, I can tell you I'm a LOT happier not being poor.
"enough money to put food on the table and a roof over your head" requires more and more of your life😓 no time to be happy
Yeah. I am struggling to get trough
So heartbreakingly and true
I never thought we were creatures built to happy. People are being sold a bill of good design to get them to buy more. Don't search for happiness, work for Meaning, and you find Meaning in helping people, especially people you love. This has the added benefit of letting you associate with people who Need help to show you that you Are better off than some others, and generate some gratitude.
Great video!
The shot of the person standing on a beach, looking out to sea with surfboard under arm is to me the epitome of happiness.
I surfed for almost 5 decades and it was the meaning of my life. Old age and arthritis took it away from me and I don’t think I will ever be happy again even though I have a beloved wife and three good sons.
I know I should be thankful with what I do have but nothing will ever replace my surfing.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Indeed, our inner life is very complex and every experience is unique
the two negative sentance parts you expressed are convincing your mind to not be happy. "I don't think I'll ever be happy again" and "nothing will ever replace my surfing" are happiness squelchers. Our minds are programmable. Whenever you think those two thoughts, turn them around and tell yourself, "I will eventually find a joy that will affect me like surfing" or "I'm so thankful for those times, and am thankful I got out unscathed and can still enjoy life." Turning negative thinking around the more positive is a big life changer and eventually the mind gets easier to train with practice.
@@JJJettplaneI strongly disagree. Losing the things that were important to me when I was younger, and realizing that I can never have them back, is depressing as hell. Considering what you call yourself, maybe you will appreciate that aviation was one of them. My parents being alive is another.
@@MikeBrown-ex9nh It's okay to disagree. Turning my negative thoughts around to hopeful ones has worked well for me. We've all had enormous losses, or at least will eventually. I've also lost physical mobility and body parts so it's been important to me to learn that I can change my view and thus change my life.
My anecdotal evidence here is: I have been instinctively mostly trying to avoid these "Miswants" and I have always focussed on friends and positive things. I am 40 years old now and I have throughout my life mostly been not just content, but truly happy. Even when I was young I was never too interested in money and luxury, I always thought friends are the only thing that really brings joy and lived by it.
What is the difference between contentment and happiness for you? I'm quite curious to hear what makes the difference and how to get from one to the other and why one might want to.
@@lucnotenboom8370 Good question. I would say that on a daily basis I get truly excited about things, friends, stuff I do at work. Like that I often really just smile all by myself just because I find things fascinating, and beautiful - they make my heart race. Also, I actively think almost every day about the fact of how amazing it is to have such nice people in my life, friends that have been there for me 35+ years, and also through bad times like losses of loved ones and always showed support at any cost. That I have a boss with zero ego who is always there to help and support, occasionally to his own detriment. And much more. So I really actively am constantly aware of how lucky I am in many aspects. "Content" might be a state that you take most positive things more for granted but at the same time, you don't feel bad or depressed often. You can enjoy many things in life, but you don't get thrills from them regularly and often ponder about how lucky you are. That's just my rough idea of how to separate the two concepts, there might be smarter ways of describing them.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Being grateful for anything and everything is key for me. So is staying connected to friends. 😊
Remember that money may not give us happiness but it gives us road to make us happiy
One of the best videos I’ve ever seen on TH-cam. Her spoken manor is calming and allows for acceptance of the ideas. Great video!
Dr Laurie !!! Hearing her voice I know I’m about to get useful advice backed by science 🤩
Now I know why I’m pathological happy.
I’ve already got all the things that me happy. I only compare myself with myself, in my experience I’m always progressing someway. I can make killer sudoku’s of the 6th level now. Every day I enjoy having breakfast with cat and dog. Reading a good book, falling asleep, enjoying the sofa I bought 5 year ago, and my amazing wash dry Miele combination, my Birkenstock sandals makes me happy for 50 years now. It’s my second pair.
There must be something terrible wrong with me.
Not at all, I think you've got it figured out more than most! Our society is what's terribly wrong.
If you can exercise deep focus more often, that can possibly induce happiness. Also, allow all feelings to run their course, especially the bad ones
Exercise is a natural happiness drug which is why our pill popping society shuns it
@@chiquita683 no one shun exercise
+1
@@chiquita683This is an imaginary argument. Everyone knows exercise is good.
Really great video! From someone who had been working as a developmental behavior specialist for over 3 decades, I have two observations. 1. Stop validation seeking, 2.) get out of your head! The control, escape, and fantasy you have constructed in your head is magical thinking.
Wish happiness to all people!
I ordered a book from Amazon by Kaitlyn Jones called Chasing Happiness. A very good read... what a journey
This Video is an amazing one!! I have always preached to the people I know that showing Gratitude when you are angry on someone instead of reacting will help you think clearly and concentrate on the situation rather than the person. I am overwhelmed how the concept of happiness is forced into ourselves which leads us to do so many things, ending us making unhappy!!
I did the online challenge related to her Yale happiness class and it was awesome. Loved every minute.
This was the best "Happiness Summary" I have even seen. This is a topic that I research a lot (as a hobby, not as a professional researcher) and after a couple of years I have created a Framework for myself that is extremely aligned with the key points mentioned in the video. The overlap between the framework that I created and the video is truly incredible, so now I feel like I need to update my framework considering the insights of this video. If anyone is wondering, here is my framework:
1. Seek Simplicity (reducing complexity), withtout being simplistic (i.e. ignoring important parts)
2. Seek Health in three key areas of life: financial health, physical health (i.e., excercise) and mental health
3. Be Simpathetic, withtout being a Sycophant (i.e., kiss-ass) nor a muggle
4. Be peaceful, withtout loosing my sense of urgency
5. Be greateful and truly savor life (be present)
Try to apply that to my marriage, in relationship with my family and friends, and also in my job. That has become an important guidance for myself, that will be truly evolved after taking into account the insights share on this video.
Eating the right foods helps a lot also to improve the mind.
One way to be happy is feeling grateful ❤
I'm 56 and retired. I own my own home, have 2 great grown up sons and a fantastic partner. For the last 8 years I have fought 4 battles with cancer and at times things have been very challenging, but I am actually very happy with what bit of life I may have left. Basically I have reconnected with friends and family and spend quality time with them when I can. I also enjoy being entertained so take great pleasure in little things like day trips, live music and visits to the theatre. It isn't about having lots of money, it's about how you connect with other people and experiencing the simple pleasures in life. BE HAPPY...
Love prof santos since I did her course on happiness during the pandemic. Thank you for getting her on big think
For the past 2 years, I've been living a minimalist lifestyle. To me, minimalism means only owning the bare essentials I truly need. My focus shifted to appreciating what I have rather than envying what I don't.
Money can't make you happy, but lack of money can make you unhappy especially when it affects others around you.
That's what she addressed when she mentioned "roof over your head" and having your needs met. Nobody is going to be happy when there is not time but to survive.
Some of this really makes me think of AA, I joined AA in the last year and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. Not just to stay sober, but it’s helped me figure out how to stay sober AND be happy. It’s pretty simple too, I think the principles could help pretty much anyone, not just alcoholics.
Oddly enough, I've been practicing these 5 daily. It really helps, the first and second point she mentioned are highly recommended.
I can relate to helping others or doing an act of kindness for someone. It really makes me FEEL great! I love this episode. Thank you Laurie!
As someone who has had lots of money and not lots of money. Money makes me significantly happier and being in debt makes me significantly more miserable.
yes, but it's not a causation. I'm poor as shit and happy as can be. It's attitude not $ that makes the difference. There are more miserably rich people than happy rich people anyway.
One of the best videos about happiness! Simple, without failing to address more complex points, and aimed at practice. I liked it a lot!
Happiness like all emotions are temporary and fleeting... When you're happy be happy... But what I prefer is to be content most of the time... Because when you're content it easily facilitates happiness...
I really love this lady, I discovered her podcast in 2020 during the pandemic and her content helped me.
Poverty can guarantee unhappiness. It is impossible to be happy if you must struggle constantly for every bit of food and shelter. The system is so broken that no matter how hard you work or how many jobs you have if you are reliant on minimum wage jobs you cannot find enough contentment, time and energy to be happy.
This isn’t true. The world is full of people living in poverty, suffering, and hardship beyond your comprehension that find ways to be happy. It’s also full of wealthy people that end up miserable. Don’t have all the answers, but this ain’t it
@@julianrosas9134 Outliers.
Just because there are some happy poor people and there are some unhappy rich people doesn’t mean the majority of them are that way. Money is a HUGE factor in whether you are going to be happy or not. Lack of money = stress. That is a fact. I don’t know what your financial situation is so I won’t make assumptions but I will say that I’m unhappy and I know for sure that if all of my financial needs were taken care of and I had no debt or struggles to pay bills, I would be happy. Would I get that “hedonic adaptation” and not be as happy after a while? Maybe. But I wouldn’t be stressed about bills and food and getting by. That alone is way more important than every single other thing said in this video.
I’m so happy this vid exists. Just putting out there that money doesn’t solve inner problems is something that every1 needs to hear. Getting up in the morning and having a purpose is what it’s all about
Hey I found your podcast a few weeks ago. I’m having trouble learning right now, with work stress and anxiety. Listening to you has made me finally realize I need to take a more active role in my happiness. TLDR you’re awesome and thank you.
I keep coming back to this video - its so nicely structured, toned to simple and practical steps. Really appreciate it
This is beautiful to see, I took the happiness course by Dr Laurie some years ago, practiced what she taught and I've enjoyed every bit of it from gratitude, meditation, savouring to working out. Thank you for bringing her on.
😅just this morning I decided to try and go through a whole day with complaining once! I've never tried it before, then this video popped up and it was perfect! how many are willing to try that also????
Love this video. It seems we’ve been conditioned to be unhappy, we being trained to compare early . They’ve thought us that the person with the highest grade is better , and so we continue on that path unconsciously.
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Honestly I have found that awareness,mindfulness and having a spiritual practice also leads to happiness and provides the path to leave a truly meaningful life .
.
Because we're immature. We want immediate gratification. The universe demands patience.
I'm happy. I finally realized it's a choice. I dont look for happiness in others, or things. I look for it inside myself.
I wish people would stop vilifying money. Money is a tool that unfortunately most people misuse. That's what makes you unhappy. And who says you're supposed to be happy all the time. Maybe instead you're supposed to learn to appreciate the small wins in life instead of focusing on the negativity. Easiest way to have everything you want is to want nothing.
It's not vilifying money to say it doesn't bring happiness. Money can alleviate barriers to happiness, but it's not the cause of happiness.
@@hastypete2 depends on your definition of happiness. People trade money for instant gratification, but that isn't happiness. Having enough money to be safe and secure and have all your needs met is happiness. The ability to do, go as you please is happiness. That only comes with enough wealth to do so. Otherwise, you're just owned by someone else who pays you just enough to keep chasing that happiness.
@peterholley2606 if you think that money isn't everything, try living without it. Money gives you peace of mind, freedom to come and go as you please, relieves worry and stress. It's hard being broke. Hard does not equate to happiness to me.
Having more money absolutely can bring you more happiness. But you have to do the right things with that money to make it happen. Buying things for yourself is cool, but buying things for people who you love is awesome. Even better, using your money to pay for experiences with friends and family is probably the best thing you can do to bring more happiness to your life. People with money who aren't happy are probably too selfish, anti-social or are too busy keeping up with the jones' to enjoy the benefits of having wealth.
Love the use of the Stones’ line “You can always get what you want…”
But in a talk about happiness, we need to finish the line!
“…you just might find, you get what you need!”
This analysis is exceptional of all I've seen on Big Think! Well done!!!
things to accept - life will be painful & unfair / plans will fail / people will disappoint / everything will change & eventually end ..
Even though I work extremely hard all day long, I have housing problems due to lack of money, my cats and I simply cannot eat well, and I am becoming more and more unhappy about this every day. We are trying to survive. I have great respect for what is said in the video and I am trying to understand it, but at least it doesn't work for me.
Understandable. Rule #1 you have to be able to survive.
Thank you Dear Professor for sharing such a valuable things with us ❤
This is a great adaptation of her Science of Well-being Course which is available for free online btw. Highly recommend it as Dr. Laurie helps her students understand these topics even deeper
I concur. At age 70 and through observation, experience, intuition, and blessings I live in gratitude, exercise, maintain friendships, do not compare my life to others', and adhere to the attitudes you've suggestions and yes, I'm a happy camper and always have been.
Sorry more money will make anyone happier. With enough money you can get rid of most of your problems hanging over your head. You need money for just about anything in life, money is literally the key to happiness.
Every time i hear the money happiness bit i roll my eyes 🙄. I like nice things and nice things aren’t cheap
While i agree with most points the money part is wrong for me at least. I never had a lot of money but if i get some that i can freely spend for fun stuff it makes me very happy. I can't even imagine how happy i would be if i won the lottery so i could finally travel a bit. I really want to see more of this world before i die.
This video is about the big picture happiness, not the one offs. Everyone is happy when they get some money. And not as much later on. Lasting happiness doesn't depend on money. Winning the lottery is great for a while, but in the long run lottery winners are among the most miserable people.
I hope someone who really need to hear something like this come across this video
Lincoln said, most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Good words!
We have more control over our lives and moods than psychiatrists, political leaders, teachers and religious
hucksters would have us believe.
Don't worry, be happy!
Wow. That was so nice to hear. I have had serious issues with anxiety and panic due to school the last few years. But through all those those negative emotions I never quite understood why my life was still so good. Sure I was suffering a lot and I still am (finishing school this year, hopefully that will help) but I often felt like an Imposter because my life was so enjoyable still. Turns out I have been doing all of these things for as long as I can remember. Sure, I was often times too other-oriented and it was only through therapy and the need to really calm my life down that I managed to have more time for savoring and mindfullness but in some way or another I have always felt great joy and love experiencing the world and I am so grateful for my happy mind. I hope that I can soon overcome my mental struggles so that I can turn back more often to this wonderful feeling of being able to enjoy life.
Any unhappiness I experience has everything to do with being homeless in the United States and, barring a significant lottery win, having no chance of being able to afford housing.
Hats off to the Video Editor, beautiful work, as always the unsung hero. Bravo 👏🏽 💯
Do chase after certain happiness that can hardly be satiable, avoid connecting with certain types of people who constantly drag you to this unsatiating treadmill, know how to be content with little, and develop inner peace connected to the present ground of existence and the nature - this will give us much peace.
I really love Dr Laurie! She has more wisdom on her fingernail than most of us in our entire lives
This list is extrovert-friendly but not all suggestions are a good fit for introverts (from personal experience); however, it’s interesting to hear that those of us who feel like happiness has never been the default are the “normal” ones.
Introvert is just a fancy word for an anxious person.
@@damonkelly5387 spoken like a true extrovert
Introverts still like interacting with their tight-knit group of friends, don't they?
I agree. This list assumes that the extrovert lifestyle is the best lifestyle. One of the blessings in life the ability be happy without seeking the approval of another human. Your happiness is on shaky grounds if it depends on the approval of another human. The singer Ariana Grande just spent $1.25m seeking the approval of another human. Amazon's Jeff Bezos spent $38b seeking the approval of another human. I shudder to think of my happiness depending on the approval of another human.
The fact that happiness has become an increasingly important subject reflects the evolution of values and aspirations in modern society.
I would expand connections not just to other people, but also to other living beings (pets especially!), to nature, and to our own bodies. I could even get mystical and highlight connecting to the universe. In general, connectedness to beings and things beyond one’s own ego drives happiness as well as fulfillment of meaning and purpose (probably something even more fundamental than happiness). You could probably argue that the latter attribute is even adaptive evolutionarily (in imbuing in us a goal-directedness in our behavior).
I learnt from Dr. Robert Sapolsky and Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett’s works that it is less about happiness and more about stress-response. Specifically, minimising chronic stress (lower body budget). Acute stress gets things done, chronic makes us ill. The former is pointed towards a task/goal. The latter just fragments our focus.