Story one: as soon as my parents said “hey, your grandparents are coming down for X days” I knew that meant “pack yo shit for them days and sleep in your brothers room” OP is nowhere near TA and that first YTA is smoking something strong.
In my late teens, I received a small, but decent, inheritance. A schoolfriend said to me "When are we going shopping???" & I was initially so disappointed that'd she'd asked this. Well, until she said "Oh! NO! Not for me! I just want to help you get the best deal for yourself!". We went shopping, she haggled & bargained & saved me a small fortune in the end! We're still good friends 38 years later & I'll always be grateful for what she did for me! Love you, Riff!
How is it a giant power trip when she hasn't even paid in full... Bruh... And yes the house is still hers till she pays the full amount... It can be repossessed for lack of payment... Not even willing to accommodate her mom while demanding she sleeps on the couch for two days... She can pay for the hotel and continue to pay till she finishes paying and gets over herself
Daughter can build a fort out of bedsheets in one of the other kids rooms and he’ll get a kick out of it. OP isn’t asking for much and it’s a simple accommodation
This is a rent to own situation, where one of the conditions is to simply let her stay for free twice a year. If I could save 20+K dollars from interest by simply having someone over ever 6 months I'd do it! It's not a huge ask, not invasive and the daughter agreed to it. She's real ballsy to say she owns it, when actually it's still her mothers home until it is paid off
I love how the comments here and read by the narrator stick up for OP. This has nothing to do with who owns the house. Like alot of the commenters, I had to give up my bedroom to accommodate out of town relatives. It's what you do. The daughter is POS.
I was going to say exactly what you said so I will just like and comment on yours. If that was my daughter I would either make her honor our contract, pay for a hotel or call in the loan.
You couldn't have been more clear than "meat pies". And when he tasted it, he knew it was meat. A lot of kids are vegetarian against their choice and eat meat outside the household
Let's be honest that kid doesn't want to be vegetarian his mother wants him to be vegetarian. The second that child out of his parents control he's going to be having steak every night for dinner. That commenter going on about how when someone stops eating me for a long time and then eats it they can get really sick. That's an exaggeration. Yeah they can get a little bit of cramping a little bit of an upset stomach. Is someone who vegetarian for 15 years and then went back to eating meat I had minimal cramping a tiny tummy ache. But I've had worse menstrual pains. I had to give it up because of health reasons. It is not like you're driving an Agony you need to go to the hospital. It doesn't sound like it's been very long since his boys had meat. That's a story vegans and vegetarians tell themselves to make themselves feel special. Your digestive system is designed to eat meat. We've evolved to be able to eat meat. Yes our original ancestors back billions of years ago didn't eat meat but since then we've evolved to eat it.
I'm a vegetarian. I have been for 28 years. I would never limit my children's diet. It's not healthy, and they can make their own decisions when they're grown.
Why do people insist that a child cannot take responsibility for their own diet? As a (former) kid with allergies, we are responsible to manage ourselves. A tween absolutely understands they are supposed to ASK if a food contains something they are not supposed to eat. He was also deliberately told 'meat pies.' That kid ate the meat on purpose.
Exactly. The first two comments are ridiculous. This contract is a legally binding agreement and OP could actually force the contract to mature or give the daughter and family a sixty day notice. This is a lease to own contract of sorts. The daughter cannot change the terms of the contract on her own. The OP was trying to help her daughter and son-in-law and she is saving them a bunch of money.
As a vegetarian with a growing teenager in the house, I've NEVER once forced my son to eat the way I do. If he wants meat, he can have it. At his father's house he's always been forced to eat vegan and he hated it (no contact with dad for several reasons) He eats vegetarian meals with me most days of the week, but I would never force that upon him. His body, his choice
The story about winning the lottery: Does OP's bf think he can insult her into spending her money? He'd be an ex if it was me. What an AH!! And dump these so-called friends.
As to the house, it's a CONTRACT that hasn't been paid off yet, the deed is still in the mother's name so the daughter can't sell the house. She can't sell something she doesn't own, and as per the contract, she won't own until she's paid it off in ten (?) years. OP's not the AH, but her daughter sure is.
Exactly! Op is NTA in this situation, it’s in the contract also it’s for 2-3 days. Many kids give up their rooms for a short period of time when guests stay over. It’s not the end of the world.
Vegetarian story: the lifestyle is a choice, not a requirement. People choose to be one or not. Sounds like the kid is being forced at home to be one. That will only foster resentment when he gets older. I have friends and family who are vegetarians and all are by choice, and a few will switch if they're looking for a change a pace for a given meal.
Story 1, the grandson who was moved into the guest room is 6. I know that I was a lot older than 6 when I was still being moved onto cots someplace so that visiting relatives could have my bedroom. In the case at hand, there was a specific agreement, acknowledged by everyone involved that the OP would be able to stay in that room when she visited (Which isn't a lot, unless she's flat out lying about how often she visits) OP's daughter agreed to this in exchange for a deal on a house that she and her husband could not otherwise afford. (And in giving this deal to her daughter, OP got less money than she would have if she had sold it on the open market to someone else. Having to give up your bedroom for 3 days, twice a year when grandma comes to visit isn't an unreasonable ask for a 6 year old.
That's mental when I was that age, I don't remember because I was a little kid. I do remember many times rearranging sleeping accommodations when relatives visited from out of town. No one ever complained.
don't know how hard it is to make a pillow fort and have the kid sleep there, or even a tent in the back yard. like really? a 6yo is going to balk at the grand adventure of their own hidey hole? especially if you sweeten the deal with pizza-type stuff to eat in there.
5:35 "He now started talking about kids... ... even though he knows that I am childfree." Classic tactic to baby trap OP. She needs to lock down her birth control/stop being physical immediately. Once she's having his kid, he'll sue her for custody and child support. Gently, OP is the idiot. She let a brand new boyfriend know she's rich. The result was predictable, unfortunately. She's learning that her life will be very different. Money changes people. She'll need to move, and start over. Her old social circle will continue being leeches and nothing will change that. She may legitimately consider changing her name since social media keeps everyone connected over distances, even those you don't want. And she will have to be very careful with her generosity, even with family. That reputation will spread like wildfire and grow larger than any winnings she has.
If I was mom in story I would’ve told the daughter she has three options 1. Move grandson on the couch or mattress 2. Pay me my money right now or lawyer up 3. Pay for my hotel.
This is not a legally enforcable agreement. The only enforcable part of the agreement is payments. If the daughter is paying the taxes directly the government would side with the daughter even if she stopped paying op. No lawyer would take that case have fun lawyering up. The op is being entitled.
@@mermaidnurse17 OP stated it was written into the contract. Void one part of the contract, makes the rest of the contract null and void. IF the entire contract was not legal then none of it was, and the Daughter has been paying essentially rent for the last 5 years. Either way if the house is in OP's name, then OP legally owns it. Property taxes have to paid for by a non owner for 20 YEARS in my state before you can pull the stunt you are suggesting. I googled and every state I checked you do not gain the deed to the property by simply paying the property taxes.
There is actually a contract, on paper, that stipulates that title doesn’t transfer until the house is paid in full, and that she gets that bedroom twice a year. The daughter is trying to renege. The daughter is TA.
Personally after her bratty attitude I’d be done and cut her off. Get the daughter reiterating that she wasn’t doing what was agreed to, get a lawyer and file breech of contract. Pay the money back and kick them out or make them file for a bank loan so op can be paid in full. Screw her, op should make it easier for herself not that ungrateful brat
@@kycat85 or just call in the loan and make the daughter get a traditional mortgage. Unless OP has some kind of sentimental attachment to the house maybe she should just get her money and stay in a hotel. I don’t think her daughter is exactly a good hostess.
Alex Likes Meat: "Just because your son doesn't notice another child's dietary needs, doesn't mean they don't exist." Disagree. If you have a friend that's vegetarian for any real length of time, and you're not, you notice the difference immediately. The average person does not eat like a vegetarian at all. And especially not the average kid. So for the son not to realize his friend isn't a vegetarian, means Alex does not eat like one when given a choice as he was here, or when his mom isn't around to force him to. And if that's the case, then OP isn't the one sabotaging Alex's veggie diet, Alex is. OP announced what everything was, and Alex once again did not eat like a vegetarian. Maybe he's afraid to tell his mom, or he has told her and she refused to listen. This is not an OP problem. This is an Alex and his mom problem, to be solved by them.
2nd story, as soon as I read 'bf of 7 months' I said NOPE lol Dude's a gold digger, trying to rush into moving in together (in a big house with a pool, ofc) and he's talking about kids so he can be tied to OP('s money) for life, be through marriage, child support, or alimony. Sis needs to have left him like yesterday. Telling all of her friends so they'd pester and attack her too should have more than sealed the end of the relationship.
When he brought up kids was when it started to get creepy! Really gave away the game that he wants to leech off her for life. Dropkick that man into a dumpster.
OP should have kept her big mouth shut. She was under no obligation to buy stuff for some guy she had dated for seven months. Even telling "a few close friends" was an idiot move.
when my mother visited me (she lives on a different state) i slept on the sofa while my mother had my huge bed for herself. I was not living on a house she previously owned, nor was in debt with her. It was merely basic family descency!!
Story 1: Oooh, i wasnt awhare that having kids absolves you of agreements of owing someone money. Yeah NTA Op, its 2 days out of the year, her kids can crash together for 2 nights, even if you DIDNT give her a house she’d be TA here. Tell her she has 3 options 1) to pay for your hotel 2) to give you the room or 3) to pay you the remainder of the money she owes you now.
OR, add a slide out bed, truckle type bed to the "guest room" that the child can sleep on. Doesn't have to be the "poor people sleeping on the floor" mattress option. That way, as kid gets older, sleep overs with friends will be much more fun. Grandma can bear to share a room with grandkid for 2 nights too. It doesn't always have to be "my way or the highway". And if grandma can't bear to be around the grandkids to just sleep, she needs to cough up for a hotel. Book way ahead, if she knows when the event is, get a cheaper rate maybe. If you can afford to travel to another city for an event, you can budget for a hotel room too. However, if this was in their contractual agreement, notarized, then daughter needs to adjust for a few nights a year.
P.S. if this arrangement was in their mutually signed contractual agreement, though, daughter needs to adjust a few nights a year. Kids won't mind. "Camping out" in one's own living room or bedroom is seen as exciting to kids.
Yeah, in my family kids got booted from beds when elders visit even without a deal. I liked actually bunking down in the living room with my other cousins and siblings when family visit.
Why the hell did the daughter agree to the arrangement if she wasn't going to honor it though? Because she got a house much cheaper? It's two days out of 365 ffs. I mean, I do actually get the daughter's point of view. I guess I don't understand why she would agree, in writing, to those stipulations then get mad and not only get mad but never bring it up. She's welcome to get a loan and get the house in her name of course then she wouldn't even have these issues.
What is there to get about the daughters POV? She got an interest free 15 year loan on the condition of providing a bed for 6 days a year split up. And now she doesn’t want to honor the parts that inconvenience her because she made poor choices.
She's dodging interest, but now feels entitled because she feels like it's her house (though according to the contract it isn't hers until she pays off the agreed upon amount). She's never wrapped her head around the fact that she's renting to own with stipulations.
My husband and I just bought a new house and, because we managed to pull it off just before the rates went insane, got a great deal. We never actually met our mortgage broker, but she seemed like a really nice lady on the phone. If she could have pulled off an interest free loan I'd happily let her stay at my house for three weekends a year! Tens of thousands of dollars saved over the course of 15 years? Yes, please! I'd even drive her where she wants to go and cook the foods she wants. OP doesn't own a house. Her mother owns a home and is graciously allowing her daughter to pay off the house monthly over 15 years with no interest in exchange for 6 damn nights a year of visits. I don't know her either but if she wants to cover my interest payments she can stay with me!
OP NTA. You are a wonderful father for validating your daughter's feelings and actually listening her than telling her she was wrong and that she should "just be happy for the new baby" even though daughter isnt feeling happy. I love how OP explained things to his daughter. Also tries to help encourage her to feel excited about her new sibling and that she has a big responsibility as " the big sister" to make her feel important and needed. EX needs to validate her daughter's feelings and make sure she does not feel left out while being excited for new baby.
Story 3: I’m curious to know what OP considers to be “trouble” since his lazy ass’s idea of punishment is to pawn off chores instead of getting to the root of any issues she may have. Glad her grandparents have her back
the house is not in her name. She signed the contract and agreed to everything in it. I she where my daughter i would take the house back and then she could buy another house that will be her own with no restrictions. NTA
I feel for the daughter in the last story, when I had my siblings. I too was not excited at first about new siblings but eventually I’ve grown into it.
I Think Judy stopped listening after "Daddy said I don't have to be excited about the baby" OP needs to talk to her & clearly explain what was said, Before Judy looses custody because she ignored the daughters needs. OP also needs to keep parenting the way he is, he has insight & knowledge to handle it. Judy flies off the handle & doesn't see things from other points of view!
My older sister wanted a puppy instead of a new baby. So much so that when I was two, she put a collar around my neck and tied a leash to a tree in the front yard.
@@paden1865able My little sister wanted a horse so bad & when mom asked where will he sleep, she volunteered MY bed. Mom then asked where would sister sleep? Grandma's... No horse was had. After getting married, I asked why not now? She said he won't let him in the house. Child reality & adult reality, two different things!
Who tells their boyfriend of less than a year about a major lottery win?! you don't tell that crap to anyone. The leeches always come crawling when they smell a big meal.
Oh that would have been so exciting. What a memory. Yeah I was brought up to give up your bed to elders, it was fun because I got to sleep in the living room with the TV on an airmattress.
Dang, I'm jealous that you got to sleep in a sleeper cab when your relative came to visit. I got stuck with the living room floor with my cousins. We thought we had fun, but a sleeper cab would put that to shame. I bet at least my sister, our one girl cousin and I could have fit in there.
Sorry story 1 NTA - not at all. It’s not a power trip. Also, if my mother/ grandmother wanted to visit me for a few days a year, we ALWAYS gave up the bed cos we LOVE our parents and family. OP’s daughter is selfish and that commenter who said YTA is an idiot.
If the daughter is not abiding by the terms of the contract, she may have voided the deal. The grandmother only comes four days a year. Surely it wouldn’t kill the kid’s to double up those days.
Didn't know a grand-kid won't be happy to give up their room to grandma for 2 days. Like really all the YTA doesn't understand the time-frame isn't weeks or months but just 48 hours. Like seriously even without the agreement this would be a ahole move which would alienate the rest of the family if she can't even accomodate her mom for 2 days. And the 6yr old won't even care.
I don’t care if OP wanted to be there for 3 consecutive months. She is gifting them the freedom from 15 years worth of mortgage interest. That easily adds up to a couple hundred thousand
That kid absolutely knew what he was eating and was eating it because he's FREAKING starving... Any mom forcing a restrictive diet on a child is always the AH...
The boyfriend story: I had an ex like this. Went into mild debt taking care of her ass. Then she decided to bounce for her other boy toy once I put up limits.
@@Spgzay Exactly. About 20 years ago, one of my best friends came to talk to me. He had decided to buy a house in the same really REALLY small town where his parents live (They have a good relationship) and he had mentioned it to his parents. They decided to pay for the house outright for him but, if he wanted, he could pay them money. I know his parents.....they put the money into a savings account that he has access to. He's an only child and he has access to that account to handle financial things if they got sick or something. His problem was that he didn't feel right about doing that. At the time, his parents were retired and in their late 60's. My advice to him was to take the deal and pay them back. That way the money is there is any of them need it or if he loses his job AND he doesn't have to pay 20 years of just interest. He took the deal. He has since paid off the house, the money is drawing interest in the savings account, and there have been no issues. Not even once. Well, unless you count that during the summer while he's a work his dad will driver his riding mower the 4 blocks to the house and mow the lawn for him. He also mows several other lawns on the way....lol. It's his thing. He likes it and it makes him feel useful.
If the daughter in the first story doesn't want to follow through with the agreed contract of letting the mother stay twice a year in the guest room then she can go to a bank and get a mortgage and pay interest to the bank then she won't have to worry about it. And her mother will have more than enough money to pay for a hotel when she comes into town problem solved
I'd say most kids are probably not happy about baby siblings and it's more likely the longer you've been an only child. Im nearly 7 years older than my only sibling and it took me a long time to warm up. I think that's pretty normal. NTA. And add to that divorced parents make this scenario more likely
Giving up your bed for older relatives is just what you do. My husband and I gave our master bedroom to our aunt and uncle visiting from another country. This way they could have some privacy and their own bathroom, it's hard when visiting and not have a space to retreat to. It's common courtesy to be good hosts to your guests. They, in turn, were good guests- treating us to some dinners, doing small things like the dishes. It's not hard to be loving and decent to each other.
Daughter doesn't understand how contracts work. Unless there's a "I had more kids" clause you don't get to break contract. Also, not daughter's house yet, doesn't become her house until the payoff is done. The child can sleep on the air mattress when grandma comes to visit (as happens in millions of families around the world without need of a contract, no children have yet died from this arrangement), he's a child. Won't even bother him, could even been construed as an adventure to a six year old.
I wouldn't do my mother dirty like that. It's not her house until she pays it off. That's why she's selling her the house so cheap. She's breaching her contract. OP could sell it out from under her work zero problem.
Not veggie, but kosher. A guy at college was like hardcore kosher only as long as the parents were around (ie, their choice, not his). Even wore a yommika but only was afraid he'd be "caught" not wearing it by someone who knew him and would rat him out. While he didn't indulge in bacon cheeseburgers or snack on pork rinds, he did eat "normal" food with us on plenty of occasions. Kewl guy, but felt stifled at home, so "let loose" whenever he could get away with it.
Yea I don't think his a vegetarian anymore but mom just doesn't know it. And if I remember correctly if that was the first time he had eaten meat it would have made his stomach upset. Op didn't mention anything about it and the mother didn't complain about her son being sick so he has been eating meat for a min.
@@briannawilliams2867 Exactly. If you're a total veggie and have meat, you have issues digesting it and can end up with cramps and worse. The kid was definitely a carnivore at heart.
@@joeschmo622 Yeah, he's probably been eating meat in his school lunches for a long time and only eats veggie when he's around his parents, or at least his mom. I've known a few people whose partners were vegetarian, but they weren't and would take their kids out for burgers fairly regularly. Alex's dad may be complicit in his meat eating.
Story 2: I was hoping for an update which OP dumped bf. He was very out of line but thankfully OP got to see this red flag before the relationship was more serious
@@andynieuwenhuis7833 the moment he brought up having a baby, then didn't get his way thus told her friends, not only a huge red flag but I'm scared for her safety. I had a long ish term bf I trusted dearly but I made sure my birth control was never able to be accessed by anyone aside from me. If she doesn't break up with him (which I strongly feel she should) she should at least get on something that can't be tampered with, like an iud. Imo baby trapping someone (be that man or woman) should be illegal.
1st story... this house sale is done by private contract, & by passes all bank interest. (Daughter should be happy!) If she didn't like the terms of purchase, her & her hubby should not have signed & agreed to the terms. Mom is right. Daughter is stupid. If terms of contract are not fulfilled, mom can sue & void contract. In video, someone said mom was controlling. They are stupid. It's daughter's choice to accept or refuse this contract! No one held a gun to her head & forced a signature!
Lottery winner: NTA get rid of the bf NOW. Do not feel guilty, do not pas go. He’s already calling you names and bad mouthing you so who cares what he says when you break it off. Same with the supposed friends. If wouldn’t dare tell someone to pay for me and give me money because they are now rich. What horrid people. They’re all spending your money and feel the rights to it. Those aren’t good people. Careful with your birth control, you don’t want to be glued to that pos for life
That first story, I never got an air mattress 🤣 My grandparents always got my bed and my room because I was the only girl. I got put on the floor in a sleeping bag.
Vegetarian story: personally, I dont agree with vegan or vegetarian diets. Biological speaking we are meant to eat meat and rabbit food. However, my own mother cant eat meat protein because it will make her sick. She loves a good t-bone steak but knows it will bite her in the butt later. I get it, it's a personal choice and I wont try to tell someone otherwise. Seeing as how the boy ate meat even after knowing what it was tells me he has been eating meat for some time. He doesnt what to be vegetarian. Mom however wants everyone to caterer to her decisions and is mad someone didn't
@@DemonAngel that the kid may not be defying his moms crazy because she wasn’t otherwise aware he’s eating meat. And he mentioned eating meat this time
The kid is old enough to know better. Op announced the different meals to everyone so the kid knew which had meat and ones that didn't...I think the mother is imposing the veg diet on her kid
S4 - I have a small insight to why OP and "Judy" didn't last as a couple when I read Judy's reaction on how well OP handled his daughter's feelings over the new arrival. Well done, OP.
Yeah I agree with story one NTA. Its super common to give up a bed, sometimes share a bed even, with a grandparent who's vising over night. Plus there was an agreement in place. Op could very well give back all the money her daughter gave her over the years and then sell the house to someone else. the daughter needs to realize this and live up to her end of the very generous agreement
@@ACCER True but what the daughter is in is a Rent to Own type deal. I don't know the laws on that if the contract is broken but I figure it makes sense the money wouldn't have to be paid back. But thinking it as something my own family might do, I can imagine the money being paid back and having the daughter kicked out. it wouldn't be worth it and then sell the house for full price. But.... kicking out and selling could be a little dramatic but something should be done regardless
The house ISN'T daughters yet. Won't be in her name until she finishes paying off mom. Then mom will sign the title over. Daughter is basically doing a rent to own.
St 1 - Wow. OP could have sold her home to someone else, received her lump sum, put the money in an investment portfolio, and she could have lived happily ever after. Instead, she helps her daughter by ellimating the need for loans and a down payment (my down payment took me 8 years to save, btw). She is permitting her daughter pay off the house in 15 years with NO INTEREST, NO down-payment and no bank loan. Her ONLY request was "provide me with a bed twice a year" and her daughter couldn't even do that?? I dont even let my mother sleep on the floor, and she is just a guest. My son sleeps with me, and my mama gets the nice comfy bed. Who would make their mom sleep on the floor? I don't care how many children you have. OP wasn't demanding the room be dedicated to her. She was just asking for a place to sleep where her back won't ache. Sorry, but the daughter sounds like a spoiled brat. Kids love sleeping on the floor. Or have them sleep with you for ONE DAMN NIGHT. Show some gratitude for the woman who made it possible for you to own a home!
in the first story i agree with the mother, she is not the idiot, when they made the contract, and she specifically states that she has the contract. It was agreed that those two times a year she has access and use to that room whether the daughter is there or not... people are comparing this to a mortgage, but the house is still in the original owner's name, that does not happen with a mortgage, this is closer to a lease... and even closer to a rent to buy contact. and consider the spare room for fixed usage on 2 advance known dates like a timeshare. In a rental agreement the owner could lay down a stipulation that a certain room is to be maintained for independent use ie owners office or some such, ideally with its own access, or even as storage room, and that outside of defined times the tenant has the right to access the room. This is quite common not in the way in this story, and the renter chooses to accept or decline this condition in the contract. The mother and daughter are in a fixed term contract, 15 years with the ownership transferring at the completion of that contact, until that ownership transfers the mother is liable for all repairs on the house and living conditions, this is NOT a mortgage. If the daughter wanted to sue the mother for repair costs unless specifically stated in the contract she could, unless specifically stated in the contract the mother is still liable for council taxes etc. This is not a mortgage and that there are no interest rates and everything else a bank would normally charge reinforces this. The contract agreed at the beginning even if only verbal is still enforceable, the fact that OP has stated it is in writing makes it more so. The mother is not in the wrong she is well within her rights to demand sole access to that room on the agreed upon dates. That the Tennent chose to have more children is not the Landlord's problem and that is what this is. An agreement that has not changed that includes right to access and use of a room agreed upon and maintained though out the time of the contract that both parties signed and agreed to. The daughter is in the wrong. If I was the mother i would insist on the contract being redrawn for the excising conditions however changing the access to the "spare room" being for sole use of the Owner of the house, and then in the times she is not visiting her two events a year use it for storage. story 2 i did not know love has a price.... the boyfriend is showing who he is by this... the original plan is good too many people win and blow their money she has been sensible and has a plan, stay on that plan.
Good grief! I slept on the floor into adulthood when company visited or when visiting some of my relatives. And you know what, nothing happened to me. The 6 year old will be completely fine. If the daughter didn't want the arrangement, she shouldn't have signed the contract.
Story 1 - I might be the odd man out, but I 100% agree with OP. My mother-in-law visits us all the time, and she has horrible back pain! We NEVER make her sleep on the floor because that would be hell for her. My son will sleep in our room (he loves it, it's like a campout), and my MIL gets his comfy bed. Do people realize what OP did for her daughter? You cannot buy a house without AT LEAST 5 - 20% down payment. Plus, if OP sold it to anyone else.... she would have recieved her lump sum IMMEDIATELY! Now she has to wait 15 years before she is fully paid. Do they get how kind this was??? It took my husband and I 8 damn years to save enough for our first home. OP didn't require any of that!!! She blessed her daughter greatly and her ONLY request was "I need a bed twice a year" and her daughter couldn't even do that? That is technically a breach of contract. Who makes their mother sleep on the floor when you have young kids? The daughter is acting ungrateful and entitled.
Hell no! You gave her the money interest free. You could easily make things very tough for her with her breach of contract! OP is NTA at all and is a generous mom! Just call in the balance of what she owes since she breached that contract and I’m pretty sure her attitude will change!
Regarding the house and Mom staying a couple days, I'll say that ANYONE who thinks daughter is correct is probably just as entitled and selfish as the daughter (translation - neither of those are good traits). #1. Daughter Signed A Contract SPECIFYING that mom could use that room and that bed whenever she was in town. #2. The principles of hospitality require reasonable accommodation of relatives (reasonable - not unending). Two days twice a year is eminently reasonable. #3. Daughter got the house with NO FEES, and a reasonable end date for payments. That alone should make daughter overflowing with gratitude. Refusing to accommodate mom is the opposite of showing gratitude. #4. The title deed is STILL in mom's name. Daughter may not realize it, but that essentially means that she has a "contract for deed". And any violation of which could result in eviction for violation of contract. #5. That refusal to accommodate mom is a violation of contract. The only curious part about all this for me is WHY did mom feel the need to include accommodation into that contract? Sounds suspiciously like mom knew daughter would "forget" to be gracious and hospitable. Daughter can pay for the hotel, and if she doesn't, call in the loan for contract violation and demand payment in full - which means daughter will have to find a formal lender, or default on the contract and lose the house.
I’m physically and mentally disabled. I’m an adult now and still will give up for relatives. When I was a kid I’d sleep on a blow up mattress. Or a closet. The number of times a closet was turned into an isolated nest for me to hide in for the night or under a tall bed or whatever. My parents made it fun, and my family loves me a lot. But I’m the youngest birn of the youngest born on both sides. So I was raised to understand they’re elderly or need it too. Like I still crash on the couch and just cope with the pain flare. I know most folks don’t think it’s healthy, but the thought of asking my older relatives to be in pain when I’m young is awful to me. Like it sounds so awful to me. Sounds like her daughter needs time to process and cope.
Third option. Your daughter has decided that the punishment is so mild that it’s worth it to misbehave? Many teens do the cooking for the family dinner and love it. Is it possible that you missed the target completely on the punishment choice? 😂you might be rewarding her instead.
Geez, it only for a day or two and she agreed in the beginning. To tell her mom that she has no bed for her. The kid can camp out with the other kids, be nice and sleep on the couch, etc. It's only a couple times a year!!! Her daughter is inconsiderate, not kind and disrespectful. What a disappointment for the mom. What happened to kindness of the heart...especially for your Mother!!
dunno why you would tell your boyfriend of 7 MONTHS something that is beyond life changing.... at first i thought i misread it and saw 7 YEARS, dump him and his friends and take this as a lesson and keep your own mouth shut especially with new relationships JFC...what an idiot move by OP
I don’t think giving up a room for two days would hurt the children. Although, personally, I’d prefer a hotel because I can sleep in, stay in my pajamas, order room service & watch what I want on tv.
People who need help are usually the ones who don't ask. Those that want or feel entitled do ask & expect handouts. I cannot imagine ever asking someone for a part of their lotto winnings. The only way I would ask is medical treatments for my son. NEVER TELL ANYONE YOU WIN MONEY!
My husband n I have a 2 bedroom house. Our spare room is my exercise room. However anytime my parents visit I rearrange n put up as much as I can to setup the air mattress so we can stay in there while my folks stay in our room. I can’t imagine refusing for the daughter to have her son sleep elsewhere during the rare visit from her mother. Anyone who is of a certain age or older should not be expected to sleep on floor. 🤦♀️
LOL! Man (35), and daughter(16)-- Moved in with man's parents, to help father take care of mother. Man and daughter take turns cooking dinner, but when daughter gets in trouble, her punishment is taking his cooking duty for a night. Just occurred to me: "I'm glad you got yourself in trouble today, I really didn't want to cook tonight!"
YTA response to story one is ridiculous. Yeah, the bank isn't gonna ask to stay in your room, the bank also isn't giving you no fees for a home loan with no down payment. You also wouldn't sign a contract with that exact agreement with your bank. Paying for her hotel would be a more than reasonable compromise. Expecting the single stipulation of a contract that gave your kid a house for a fucking steal to be honored is not entitled.
Even without a signed contract, when elders visit the kids should be the ones giving up their beds. Unless there are health issues it won’t kill the kid to sleep on an air mattress/cot for two nights. Good grief, when did we become a society that sets children up to be above heir grandparents?
I would happily sleep on the floor if my grandma could come visit for two days! Grandma will not be here for ever, one day she will die. Hope you will have no guilt after, then is too late to say sorry. People who act like this person only think of themselves. You agreed to this. Two days and you can not even do that? Wow. I would give almost anything to see my grandma again for just two days, and you can not even be bothered.
Yep, even aside from the fact that daughter and SIL got a great deal on the house with no mortgage interest, for a house that they couldn't afford to buy, It's not unreasonable to have a 6 year old give up his room for 2-3 days, twice a year when Grandma comes to visit. I was still sleeping on cots somewhere else in the house (or on the floor with camping pads and sleeping bags, etc. ) when relatives came to visit when I was a lot older than 6 yo.
Illustration - I am severely allergic to fish shellfish and seafood. When I go to a family or social function I can not just ASSUME that people are not going to have my allergens around me or "accidentally" cross-contaminate something before I get to my plate. (can't take allergy pills if your throat has closed off, and yes I carry my Benadryl AND EPI PEN). I usually can look to see if there is food I can eat, and if nobody can answer my question about a dish, I just don't touch it/eat it. One time I was helping my sister let a contractor in while she was at work. She offered some of this casserole. I could not get ahold of her to ask her if there was fish or anything like that in the dish. So my shortcut is I pulled some of the casserole aside and stuck my finger in it knowing that if the dish had fish shellfish or seafood in it MY FINGER WOULD GO NUMB WHERE IT TOUCHED MY SKIN. Thankfully my finger did not go numb and the casserole was safe for me to eat. QUESTION - if the "vegetarian" child was allergic he would have had a really bad reaction (hives, blisters, canker-sores, EYES AND/OR AIRWAYS CLOSING OFF SO YOU CAN'T SEE OR BREATHE) so for that child's sake I hope the vegetarianism is an issues mostly for "mom" and she's just making it out like you're going to kill "her baby" with her extremists ways. Another Illustration PAUL MCCARTNEY's Wife is one of those vegetarian extremists to the point where if she goes on a plane or ship/cruise she will let the entire cruise ship know that they are serving VEGETABLES ONLY AND NO MEAT AT ALL or she would go ballistic (so the story goes) and now the "you're killing my baby with that meat!!!" BS umm sounds like he loves eating at other people's places without his mother because HE LOVES THE MEAT DISHES. So suck it up "woman" or you're on a level of C R A Z Y!!!! along with Margaret White, Carrie's mother (see Stephen King's CARRIE) now THAT woman was a piece of pious work
Story one. Being the oldest of three girls in my family, I got my own room early. But it came with a price. When we had overnight company I gave up my room to them and shared a room with my other sisters! Period! This should be a no-brainer. Especially as they, mother and daughter, have a contract stating the amount and number of payments for the house AND the terms that said mother will be staying there a certain number of times and days, until the home is paid for by the daughter. If the daughter breaks the contract, then the house should go back into the mothers hands. PERIOD! Doesn't matter if daughter has had more children. The kids can share while grandma is visiting!
Lmbo who on earth tells someone they have only been seeing for 7 months they won lotto. Dump the trash, dump the friends and block them all. Be careful they might try kill you to get the $$$$$.
When i lived in another city for college, and my parents would come to visit and stay the night. I had a spare mattress and a recliner. My dad took the recliner., my mom took my twin sized bed, and i had the spare mattress on the floor. I wouldnt dream of putting my mom on the floor. That's my momma. She sleeps on a bed.
You need a new boyfriends & new friends. Get the money locked down then you can genuinely say, “The money is locked in funds that I cannot touch.” Put some of the funds into an emergency trust & have someone oversee it to be sure it is a real emergency. Make sure your bf doesn’t have any of your passwords or account access.
Kids give up their rooms for relatives visiting all of the time. Put a bunk bed in one of the kids room and be happy that grandma still wants to be with you. I just can’t imagine not giving an aunt or uncle my room and bunking with my sister. This isn’t a MIL problem. This is a drama problem. Understand that there is a growing number of Boomers (60yrs+) who are opting out of being grandparents. The narcissism in that generation is dumbfounding and disastrous.
Boomers are great grandparents now. Boomers, Gen X, Millenials, Gen Z. If they're still alive they've likely earned doing whatever the hell they want. I'm on the young end of Gen X and I already know I'm gonna be a holidays and birthdays grandpa (but in spectacular fashion so that those visits are looked forward to). "Do you hear that distant rumble? I believe grandpa John just came around the corner at the end of the block on his Harley." And many tiny voices ring out in cheers.
@@velvetdarksoul8741 I believe she was referring to narcissistic behavior not being a generation problem in UK and other countries. Which would in fact be a good thing. I could be wrong but that is what I took from her statement.
Being so cruel and inhospitable to the person who made it possible for her to even HAVE that house. Over a TWO DAY stay. I feel awful for this poor woman that her ingrate family doesn't value her generosity more and won't honor agreements better. I feel bad they don't care more about her...maybe they don't want her around because they've spun a very different tale for friends and in laws about how they got the house, i.e. their "hard work" instead of OP'S generous arrangement.
For the lottery winner. Lose the boyfriend. And don't touch that money. Also lose the friends. Your boyfriend's maturity level is off the charts bad news.
The cooking story: Giant YTA OP is acting more like a teen than his own child. Cooking and cleaning shouldn't be a punishment but an expectation for both growing boys and girls. Children need to be prepared for their adult life because it doesn't matter if they are married or single they will need to know how to keep a house. All he is teaching his daughter is to resent cooking for herself when she is older.
The daughter should never have agreed to the deal if she is unable to follow through. It's in writing so she owes either the money for her hotel stays or simply pay off what's owed on the house.
Vegetarian mom story - I had a friend in highschool that ate burgers and pizza and junk food veraciously at school, despite being a twig. I didn't realize until we visited his house for a party that his step mom was vegan and forced everyone else in the house to be vegan too. My friend hated it, but his dad just made him go along with it. Forcing a diet choice for anything other than medical/allergy reasons is gross and wrong. A teenager can decide for themselves what they want to eat.
Story one: as soon as my parents said “hey, your grandparents are coming down for X days” I knew that meant “pack yo shit for them days and sleep in your brothers room” OP is nowhere near TA and that first YTA is smoking something strong.
It was clearly the daughter
@drako8343 damn you’re absolutely right
@@drako8343 didn’t even think of that!! Clearly her lmao
My grandparents died early, but this was me when random uncles and older cousins showed up.
In my late teens, I received a small, but decent, inheritance. A schoolfriend said to me "When are we going shopping???" & I was initially so disappointed that'd she'd asked this. Well, until she said "Oh! NO! Not for me! I just want to help you get the best deal for yourself!". We went shopping, she haggled & bargained & saved me a small fortune in the end! We're still good friends 38 years later & I'll always be grateful for what she did for me! Love you, Riff!
Now that is a good friend.
How is it a giant power trip when she hasn't even paid in full... Bruh... And yes the house is still hers till she pays the full amount... It can be repossessed for lack of payment... Not even willing to accommodate her mom while demanding she sleeps on the couch for two days... She can pay for the hotel and continue to pay till she finishes paying and gets over herself
Daughter can build a fort out of bedsheets in one of the other kids rooms and he’ll get a kick out of it. OP isn’t asking for much and it’s a simple accommodation
This is a rent to own situation, where one of the conditions is to simply let her stay for free twice a year. If I could save 20+K dollars from interest by simply having someone over ever 6 months I'd do it! It's not a huge ask, not invasive and the daughter agreed to it. She's real ballsy to say she owns it, when actually it's still her mothers home until it is paid off
I love how the comments here and read by the narrator stick up for OP. This has nothing to do with who owns the house. Like alot of the commenters, I had to give up my bedroom to accommodate out of town relatives. It's what you do. The daughter is POS.
Daughter: "How dare you expect me to fulfill the contractual obligations I agreed to in order to live in your home!?"
I was going to say exactly what you said so I will just like and comment on yours. If that was my daughter I would either make her honor our contract, pay for a hotel or call in the loan.
You couldn't have been more clear than "meat pies". And when he tasted it, he knew it was meat. A lot of kids are vegetarian against their choice and eat meat outside the household
Let's be honest that kid doesn't want to be vegetarian his mother wants him to be vegetarian. The second that child out of his parents control he's going to be having steak every night for dinner. That commenter going on about how when someone stops eating me for a long time and then eats it they can get really sick. That's an exaggeration. Yeah they can get a little bit of cramping a little bit of an upset stomach. Is someone who vegetarian for 15 years and then went back to eating meat I had minimal cramping a tiny tummy ache. But I've had worse menstrual pains. I had to give it up because of health reasons. It is not like you're driving an Agony you need to go to the hospital. It doesn't sound like it's been very long since his boys had meat. That's a story vegans and vegetarians tell themselves to make themselves feel special. Your digestive system is designed to eat meat. We've evolved to be able to eat meat. Yes our original ancestors back billions of years ago didn't eat meat but since then we've evolved to eat it.
I'm a vegetarian. I have been for 28 years. I would never limit my children's diet. It's not healthy, and they can make their own decisions when they're grown.
Why do people insist that a child cannot take responsibility for their own diet? As a (former) kid with allergies, we are responsible to manage ourselves. A tween absolutely understands they are supposed to ASK if a food contains something they are not supposed to eat. He was also deliberately told 'meat pies.' That kid ate the meat on purpose.
They got this house WITH NO FEES, no where else could they do that, so If you cant let your Mom stay COUGH UP THE HOTEL MONEY!
Exactly. The first two comments are ridiculous. This contract is a legally binding agreement and OP could actually force the contract to mature or give the daughter and family a sixty day notice. This is a lease to own contract of sorts. The daughter cannot change the terms of the contract on her own. The OP was trying to help her daughter and son-in-law and she is saving them a bunch of money.
@pickle_pup8187 agreed if I was op I would take the house back
As a vegetarian with a growing teenager in the house, I've NEVER once forced my son to eat the way I do. If he wants meat, he can have it. At his father's house he's always been forced to eat vegan and he hated it (no contact with dad for several reasons) He eats vegetarian meals with me most days of the week, but I would never force that upon him. His body, his choice
Chossing YOUR way is okay. Forcing something on others is always wrong. (except for dietary restraints caused by medical issues)
Like my aunt. She always say that to my uncle. You can cook your meat whenever you want. He is stuck to his bed
The story about winning the lottery: Does OP's bf think he can insult her into spending her money? He'd be an ex if it was me. What an AH!! And dump these so-called friends.
Since they don’t live together I was surprised she didn’t dump him as soon as he told her to spend money on him
Meat Pie story: Sounds like Alex doesn't agree that he's a vegetarian.
And he didn’t seem to get sick from it so he might sneak meat behind his mom’s back
As to the house, it's a CONTRACT that hasn't been paid off yet, the deed is still in the mother's name so the daughter can't sell the house. She can't sell something she doesn't own, and as per the contract, she won't own until she's paid it off in ten (?) years. OP's not the AH, but her daughter sure is.
Yup, 100% a rent to own situation that hasn't closed yet.
Tell her to get a mortgage and pay the entirety of the balance, with interest.
Exactly! Op is NTA in this situation, it’s in the contract also it’s for 2-3 days. Many kids give up their rooms for a short period of time when guests stay over. It’s not the end of the world.
Start charging her rent since she was to be TA since it the mothers house !!!
She isn't even paying real interest on the loan. So, she should consider providing a bedroom as her interest payments.
Vegetarian story: the lifestyle is a choice, not a requirement. People choose to be one or not. Sounds like the kid is being forced at home to be one. That will only foster resentment when he gets older.
I have friends and family who are vegetarians and all are by choice, and a few will switch if they're looking for a change a pace for a given meal.
Story 1, the grandson who was moved into the guest room is 6. I know that I was a lot older than 6 when I was still being moved onto cots someplace so that visiting relatives could have my bedroom. In the case at hand, there was a specific agreement, acknowledged by everyone involved that the OP would be able to stay in that room when she visited (Which isn't a lot, unless she's flat out lying about how often she visits) OP's daughter agreed to this in exchange for a deal on a house that she and her husband could not otherwise afford. (And in giving this deal to her daughter, OP got less money than she would have if she had sold it on the open market to someone else. Having to give up your bedroom for 3 days, twice a year when grandma comes to visit isn't an unreasonable ask for a 6 year old.
That's mental when I was that age, I don't remember because I was a little kid. I do remember many times rearranging sleeping accommodations when relatives visited from out of town. No one ever complained.
@@Sig2423 Yep, pretty normal and standard.
don't know how hard it is to make a pillow fort and have the kid sleep there, or even a tent in the back yard. like really? a 6yo is going to balk at the grand adventure of their own hidey hole? especially if you sweeten the deal with pizza-type stuff to eat in there.
5:35 "He now started talking about kids... ... even though he knows that I am childfree." Classic tactic to baby trap OP. She needs to lock down her birth control/stop being physical immediately. Once she's having his kid, he'll sue her for custody and child support.
Gently, OP is the idiot. She let a brand new boyfriend know she's rich. The result was predictable, unfortunately. She's learning that her life will be very different. Money changes people. She'll need to move, and start over. Her old social circle will continue being leeches and nothing will change that. She may legitimately consider changing her name since social media keeps everyone connected over distances, even those you don't want.
And she will have to be very careful with her generosity, even with family. That reputation will spread like wildfire and grow larger than any winnings she has.
If I was mom in story I would’ve told the daughter she has three options 1. Move grandson on the couch or mattress 2. Pay me my money right now or lawyer up 3. Pay for my hotel.
This is not a legally enforcable agreement. The only enforcable part of the agreement is payments. If the daughter is paying the taxes directly the government would side with the daughter even if she stopped paying op. No lawyer would take that case have fun lawyering up. The op is being entitled.
@@mermaidnurse17 OP stated it was written into the contract. Void one part of the contract, makes the rest of the contract null and void. IF the entire contract was not legal then none of it was, and the Daughter has been paying essentially rent for the last 5 years.
Either way if the house is in OP's name, then OP legally owns it. Property taxes have to paid for by a non owner for 20 YEARS in my state before you can pull the stunt you are suggesting. I googled and every state I checked you do not gain the deed to the property by simply paying the property taxes.
There is actually a contract, on paper, that stipulates that title doesn’t transfer until the house is paid in full, and that she gets that bedroom twice a year. The daughter is trying to renege. The daughter is TA.
Personally after her bratty attitude I’d be done and cut her off. Get the daughter reiterating that she wasn’t doing what was agreed to, get a lawyer and file breech of contract. Pay the money back and kick them out or make them file for a bank loan so op can be paid in full. Screw her, op should make it easier for herself not that ungrateful brat
@@kycat85 or just call in the loan and make the daughter get a traditional mortgage. Unless OP has some kind of sentimental attachment to the house maybe she should just get her money and stay in a hotel. I don’t think her daughter is exactly a good hostess.
@@lkayh personally I don’t think they’d be able to pay in full or get a mortgage that will allow op to collect in full
@@kycat85 could be.
Alex Likes Meat: "Just because your son doesn't notice another child's dietary needs, doesn't mean they don't exist."
Disagree. If you have a friend that's vegetarian for any real length of time, and you're not, you notice the difference immediately. The average person does not eat like a vegetarian at all. And especially not the average kid. So for the son not to realize his friend isn't a vegetarian, means Alex does not eat like one when given a choice as he was here, or when his mom isn't around to force him to. And if that's the case, then OP isn't the one sabotaging Alex's veggie diet, Alex is. OP announced what everything was, and Alex once again did not eat like a vegetarian. Maybe he's afraid to tell his mom, or he has told her and she refused to listen.
This is not an OP problem. This is an Alex and his mom problem, to be solved by them.
2nd story, as soon as I read 'bf of 7 months' I said NOPE lol Dude's a gold digger, trying to rush into moving in together (in a big house with a pool, ofc) and he's talking about kids so he can be tied to OP('s money) for life, be through marriage, child support, or alimony. Sis needs to have left him like yesterday. Telling all of her friends so they'd pester and attack her too should have more than sealed the end of the relationship.
When he brought up kids was when it started to get creepy! Really gave away the game that he wants to leech off her for life. Dropkick that man into a dumpster.
7 months and she didn't dump him?...major idiot for not dumping the gold digger.
OP should have kept her big mouth shut. She was under no obligation to buy stuff for some guy she had dated for seven months. Even telling "a few close friends" was an idiot move.
when my mother visited me (she lives on a different state) i slept on the sofa while my mother had my huge bed for herself.
I was not living on a house she previously owned, nor was in debt with her.
It was merely basic family descency!!
Story 1: Oooh, i wasnt awhare that having kids absolves you of agreements of owing someone money.
Yeah NTA Op, its 2 days out of the year, her kids can crash together for 2 nights, even if you DIDNT give her a house she’d be TA here. Tell her she has 3 options
1) to pay for your hotel
2) to give you the room
or 3) to pay you the remainder of the money she owes you now.
OR, add a slide out bed, truckle type bed to the "guest room" that the child can sleep on. Doesn't have to be the "poor people sleeping on the floor" mattress option. That way, as kid gets older, sleep overs with friends will be much more fun. Grandma can bear to share a room with grandkid for 2 nights too. It doesn't always have to be "my way or the highway". And if grandma can't bear to be around the grandkids to just sleep, she needs to cough up for a hotel. Book way ahead, if she knows when the event is, get a cheaper rate maybe. If you can afford to travel to another city for an event, you can budget for a hotel room too. However, if this was in their contractual agreement, notarized, then daughter needs to adjust for a few nights a year.
P.S. if this arrangement was in their mutually signed contractual agreement, though, daughter needs to adjust a few nights a year. Kids won't mind. "Camping out" in one's own living room or bedroom is seen as exciting to kids.
Yeah, the YTA commenters are AH as is the daughter ...It is still under OP's name and part of the contract that they both signed
Yeah, in my family kids got booted from beds when elders visit even without a deal. I liked actually bunking down in the living room with my other cousins and siblings when family visit.
Yeah, "the cousins" all had fun sleeping on the floor in the living room and talking, telling stories, and generally being silly all together.
Making the child cook as a punishment has a high potential to cause her to hate cooking.
Why the hell did the daughter agree to the arrangement if she wasn't going to honor it though? Because she got a house much cheaper? It's two days out of 365 ffs.
I mean, I do actually get the daughter's point of view. I guess I don't understand why she would agree, in writing, to those stipulations then get mad and not only get mad but never bring it up.
She's welcome to get a loan and get the house in her name of course then she wouldn't even have these issues.
Breech of contract???
What is there to get about the daughters POV? She got an interest free 15 year loan on the condition of providing a bed for 6 days a year split up. And now she doesn’t want to honor the parts that inconvenience her because she made poor choices.
She's dodging interest, but now feels entitled because she feels like it's her house (though according to the contract it isn't hers until she pays off the agreed upon amount). She's never wrapped her head around the fact that she's renting to own with stipulations.
@@johnowen9349 also who makes their mother sleep on the floor what's wrong with her?
My husband and I just bought a new house and, because we managed to pull it off just before the rates went insane, got a great deal. We never actually met our mortgage broker, but she seemed like a really nice lady on the phone. If she could have pulled off an interest free loan I'd happily let her stay at my house for three weekends a year! Tens of thousands of dollars saved over the course of 15 years? Yes, please! I'd even drive her where she wants to go and cook the foods she wants.
OP doesn't own a house. Her mother owns a home and is graciously allowing her daughter to pay off the house monthly over 15 years with no interest in exchange for 6 damn nights a year of visits. I don't know her either but if she wants to cover my interest payments she can stay with me!
OP NTA. You are a wonderful father for validating your daughter's feelings and actually listening her than telling her she was wrong and that she should "just be happy for the new baby" even though daughter isnt feeling happy.
I love how OP explained things to his daughter. Also tries to help encourage her to feel excited about her new sibling and that she has a big responsibility as " the big sister" to make her feel important and needed.
EX needs to validate her daughter's feelings and make sure she does not feel left out while being excited for new baby.
Story 3: I’m curious to know what OP considers to be “trouble” since his lazy ass’s idea of punishment is to pawn off chores instead of getting to the root of any issues she may have. Glad her grandparents have her back
the house is not in her name. She signed the contract and agreed to everything in it. I she where my daughter i would take the house back and then she could buy another house that will be her own with no restrictions. NTA
I feel for the daughter in the last story, when I had my siblings. I too was not excited at first about new siblings but eventually I’ve grown into it.
I Think Judy stopped listening after "Daddy said I don't have to be excited about the baby" OP needs to talk to her & clearly explain what was said, Before Judy looses custody because she ignored the daughters needs. OP also needs to keep parenting the way he is, he has insight & knowledge to handle it. Judy flies off the handle & doesn't see things from other points of view!
My older sister wanted a puppy instead of a new baby. So much so that when I was two, she put a collar around my neck and tied a leash to a tree in the front yard.
@@paden1865able My little sister wanted a horse so bad & when mom asked where will he sleep, she volunteered MY bed. Mom then asked where would sister sleep? Grandma's... No horse was had. After getting married, I asked why not now? She said he won't let him in the house. Child reality & adult reality, two different things!
If he's not allergic to meat pies, then I don't understand the problem. The child was never in danger
I bet Alex’s mom is trying to force him into being a vegetarian. & Alex is not having it. Lol
You did let him know it had meat in it.
Who tells their boyfriend of less than a year about a major lottery win?! you don't tell that crap to anyone. The leeches always come crawling when they smell a big meal.
When my truck driving uncle came by I would give him my bed while I slept in his sleeper what memories. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Oh, that would be awesome!
Oh that would have been so exciting. What a memory. Yeah I was brought up to give up your bed to elders, it was fun because I got to sleep in the living room with the TV on an airmattress.
Dang, I'm jealous that you got to sleep in a sleeper cab when your relative came to visit. I got stuck with the living room floor with my cousins. We thought we had fun, but a sleeper cab would put that to shame. I bet at least my sister, our one girl cousin and I could have fit in there.
That is really weird
Sorry story 1 NTA - not at all. It’s not a power trip. Also, if my mother/ grandmother wanted to visit me for a few days a year, we ALWAYS gave up the bed cos we LOVE our parents and family.
OP’s daughter is selfish and that commenter who said YTA is an idiot.
If the daughter is not abiding by the terms of the contract, she may have voided the deal. The grandmother only comes four days a year. Surely it wouldn’t kill the kid’s to double up those days.
Didn't know a grand-kid won't be happy to give up their room to grandma for 2 days. Like really all the YTA doesn't understand the time-frame isn't weeks or months but just 48 hours.
Like seriously even without the agreement this would be a ahole move which would alienate the rest of the family if she can't even accomodate her mom for 2 days. And the 6yr old won't even care.
I don’t care if OP wanted to be there for 3 consecutive months. She is gifting them the freedom from 15 years worth of mortgage interest. That easily adds up to a couple hundred thousand
That kid absolutely knew what he was eating and was eating it because he's FREAKING starving... Any mom forcing a restrictive diet on a child is always the AH...
Alex is not a vegetarian. His mother forces him to be. Like practically every kid in the universe he will eat meat if given the chance.
I'm afraid for the lottery winner. I've heard of terrible things happening to people after they win a bunch of money.
The boyfriend story: I had an ex like this. Went into mild debt taking care of her ass. Then she decided to bounce for her other boy toy once I put up limits.
Sorry, the original agreement that Mom gets to stay in the guest room still stands, regardless of the daughter's circumstances have changed.
In 5 yrs she still can't get a loan to pay her mother?!
Better to owe your parents than the bank
She doesn’t have to pay OP interest unlike a bank
@@Spgzay Exactly. About 20 years ago, one of my best friends came to talk to me. He had decided to buy a house in the same really REALLY small town where his parents live (They have a good relationship) and he had mentioned it to his parents. They decided to pay for the house outright for him but, if he wanted, he could pay them money. I know his parents.....they put the money into a savings account that he has access to. He's an only child and he has access to that account to handle financial things if they got sick or something. His problem was that he didn't feel right about doing that. At the time, his parents were retired and in their late 60's. My advice to him was to take the deal and pay them back. That way the money is there is any of them need it or if he loses his job AND he doesn't have to pay 20 years of just interest. He took the deal. He has since paid off the house, the money is drawing interest in the savings account, and there have been no issues. Not even once. Well, unless you count that during the summer while he's a work his dad will driver his riding mower the 4 blocks to the house and mow the lawn for him. He also mows several other lawns on the way....lol. It's his thing. He likes it and it makes him feel useful.
If the daughter in the first story doesn't want to follow through with the agreed contract of letting the mother stay twice a year in the guest room then she can go to a bank and get a mortgage and pay interest to the bank then she won't have to worry about it. And her mother will have more than enough money to pay for a hotel when she comes into town problem solved
I'd say most kids are probably not happy about baby siblings and it's more likely the longer you've been an only child. Im nearly 7 years older than my only sibling and it took me a long time to warm up. I think that's pretty normal. NTA. And add to that divorced parents make this scenario more likely
Giving up your bed for older relatives is just what you do. My husband and I gave our master bedroom to our aunt and uncle visiting from another country. This way they could have some privacy and their own bathroom, it's hard when visiting and not have a space to retreat to. It's common courtesy to be good hosts to your guests. They, in turn, were good guests- treating us to some dinners, doing small things like the dishes. It's not hard to be loving and decent to each other.
Daughter doesn't understand how contracts work. Unless there's a "I had more kids" clause you don't get to break contract. Also, not daughter's house yet, doesn't become her house until the payoff is done. The child can sleep on the air mattress when grandma comes to visit (as happens in millions of families around the world without need of a contract, no children have yet died from this arrangement), he's a child. Won't even bother him, could even been construed as an adventure to a six year old.
I wouldn't do my mother dirty like that. It's not her house until she pays it off. That's why she's selling her the house so cheap.
She's breaching her contract. OP could sell it out from under her work zero problem.
Well a bank would charge thousands more dollars 💵 the daughter needs to be grateful.
Not veggie, but kosher. A guy at college was like hardcore kosher only as long as the parents were around (ie, their choice, not his). Even wore a yommika but only was afraid he'd be "caught" not wearing it by someone who knew him and would rat him out. While he didn't indulge in bacon cheeseburgers or snack on pork rinds, he did eat "normal" food with us on plenty of occasions. Kewl guy, but felt stifled at home, so "let loose" whenever he could get away with it.
Yea I don't think his a vegetarian anymore but mom just doesn't know it. And if I remember correctly if that was the first time he had eaten meat it would have made his stomach upset. Op didn't mention anything about it and the mother didn't complain about her son being sick so he has been eating meat for a min.
@@briannawilliams2867 Exactly. If you're a total veggie and have meat, you have issues digesting it and can end up with cramps and worse. The kid was definitely a carnivore at heart.
@@joeschmo622 Yeah, he's probably been eating meat in his school lunches for a long time and only eats veggie when he's around his parents, or at least his mom. I've known a few people whose partners were vegetarian, but they weren't and would take their kids out for burgers fairly regularly. Alex's dad may be complicit in his meat eating.
Story 2: I was hoping for an update which OP dumped bf. He was very out of line but thankfully OP got to see this red flag before the relationship was more serious
Sounds like the next step is a baby trap. Never tell anyone if you win money, cut beggars off
@@kaziered I was Thinking the Same as You. Op SHOULD NOT HAVE TOLD the NEW boyfriend Anything ABOUT MONEY.
@@andynieuwenhuis7833 the moment he brought up having a baby, then didn't get his way thus told her friends, not only a huge red flag but I'm scared for her safety.
I had a long ish term bf I trusted dearly but I made sure my birth control was never able to be accessed by anyone aside from me.
If she doesn't break up with him (which I strongly feel she should) she should at least get on something that can't be tampered with, like an iud.
Imo baby trapping someone (be that man or woman) should be illegal.
@@andynieuwenhuis7833 yeah why did she? They’ve dated under a year and didn’t live together.
1st story... this house sale is done by private contract, & by passes all bank interest. (Daughter should be happy!) If she didn't like the terms of purchase, her & her hubby should not have signed & agreed to the terms. Mom is right. Daughter is stupid. If terms of contract are not fulfilled, mom can sue & void contract. In video, someone said mom was controlling. They are stupid. It's daughter's choice to accept or refuse this contract! No one held a gun to her head & forced a signature!
Lottery winner: NTA get rid of the bf NOW. Do not feel guilty, do not pas go. He’s already calling you names and bad mouthing you so who cares what he says when you break it off. Same with the supposed friends. If wouldn’t dare tell someone to pay for me and give me money because they are now rich. What horrid people. They’re all spending your money and feel the rights to it. Those aren’t good people. Careful with your birth control, you don’t want to be glued to that pos for life
A person doesn't get excited on command. A person gets excited if a person gets excited.
That first story, I never got an air mattress 🤣
My grandparents always got my bed and my room because I was the only girl. I got put on the floor in a sleeping bag.
Vegetarian story: personally, I dont agree with vegan or vegetarian diets. Biological speaking we are meant to eat meat and rabbit food. However, my own mother cant eat meat protein because it will make her sick. She loves a good t-bone steak but knows it will bite her in the butt later. I get it, it's a personal choice and I wont try to tell someone otherwise.
Seeing as how the boy ate meat even after knowing what it was tells me he has been eating meat for some time. He doesnt what to be vegetarian. Mom however wants everyone to caterer to her decisions and is mad someone didn't
Maybe maybe not. If he’d been secretly eating meat all this time he would know better than to expose a place he was able to get meat
@@drako8343 hu?
@@DemonAngel that the kid may not be defying his moms crazy because she wasn’t otherwise aware he’s eating meat. And he mentioned eating meat this time
@@drako8343 ah okay. I can see that but I do believe it's also "what I cant have" mentality
The kid is old enough to know better. Op announced the different meals to everyone so the kid knew which had meat and ones that didn't...I think the mother is imposing the veg diet on her kid
S4 - I have a small insight to why OP and "Judy" didn't last as a couple when I read Judy's reaction on how well OP handled his daughter's feelings over the new arrival. Well done, OP.
Disclosing your financial situation to a partner of seven months is Ludacris!
Yeah I agree with story one NTA. Its super common to give up a bed, sometimes share a bed even, with a grandparent who's vising over night. Plus there was an agreement in place. Op could very well give back all the money her daughter gave her over the years and then sell the house to someone else. the daughter needs to realize this and live up to her end of the very generous agreement
OP wouldn't have to refund the money. It's rent.
@@ACCER True but what the daughter is in is a Rent to Own type deal. I don't know the laws on that if the contract is broken but I figure it makes sense the money wouldn't have to be paid back. But thinking it as something my own family might do, I can imagine the money being paid back and having the daughter kicked out. it wouldn't be worth it and then sell the house for full price. But.... kicking out and selling could be a little dramatic but something should be done regardless
It's just 2 days! Let grandma use the Bed! It's grandma! 💖
My grandma called the cops on me because I told her my cousin's tv wasn't her property. Give me another reason to cough up a bed
The house ISN'T daughters yet. Won't be in her name until she finishes paying off mom. Then mom will sign the title over.
Daughter is basically doing a rent to own.
The first commenter did not listen to the OP's story. There was a clause in the sale for the OP to sleep in the bed 2 times a year.
St 1 - Wow. OP could have sold her home to someone else, received her lump sum, put the money in an investment portfolio, and she could have lived happily ever after. Instead, she helps her daughter by ellimating the need for loans and a down payment (my down payment took me 8 years to save, btw). She is permitting her daughter pay off the house in 15 years with NO INTEREST, NO down-payment and no bank loan. Her ONLY request was "provide me with a bed twice a year" and her daughter couldn't even do that?? I dont even let my mother sleep on the floor, and she is just a guest. My son sleeps with me, and my mama gets the nice comfy bed. Who would make their mom sleep on the floor? I don't care how many children you have. OP wasn't demanding the room be dedicated to her. She was just asking for a place to sleep where her back won't ache. Sorry, but the daughter sounds like a spoiled brat. Kids love sleeping on the floor. Or have them sleep with you for ONE DAMN NIGHT. Show some gratitude for the woman who made it possible for you to own a home!
in the first story i agree with the mother, she is not the idiot, when they made the contract, and she specifically states that she has the contract. It was agreed that those two times a year she has access and use to that room whether the daughter is there or not... people are comparing this to a mortgage, but the house is still in the original owner's name, that does not happen with a mortgage, this is closer to a lease... and even closer to a rent to buy contact. and consider the spare room for fixed usage on 2 advance known dates like a timeshare.
In a rental agreement the owner could lay down a stipulation that a certain room is to be maintained for independent use ie owners office or some such, ideally with its own access, or even as storage room, and that outside of defined times the tenant has the right to access the room. This is quite common not in the way in this story, and the renter chooses to accept or decline this condition in the contract.
The mother and daughter are in a fixed term contract, 15 years with the ownership transferring at the completion of that contact, until that ownership transfers the mother is liable for all repairs on the house and living conditions, this is NOT a mortgage. If the daughter wanted to sue the mother for repair costs unless specifically stated in the contract she could, unless specifically stated in the contract the mother is still liable for council taxes etc. This is not a mortgage and that there are no interest rates and everything else a bank would normally charge reinforces this. The contract agreed at the beginning even if only verbal is still enforceable, the fact that OP has stated it is in writing makes it more so. The mother is not in the wrong she is well within her rights to demand sole access to that room on the agreed upon dates. That the Tennent chose to have more children is not the Landlord's problem and that is what this is. An agreement that has not changed that includes right to access and use of a room agreed upon and maintained though out the time of the contract that both parties signed and agreed to. The daughter is in the wrong. If I was the mother i would insist on the contract being redrawn for the excising conditions however changing the access to the "spare room" being for sole use of the Owner of the house, and then in the times she is not visiting her two events a year use it for storage.
story 2 i did not know love has a price.... the boyfriend is showing who he is by this... the original plan is good too many people win and blow their money she has been sensible and has a plan, stay on that plan.
Andy gets a prenup, unless dumping comes first. Pack & go immediately.
How are you entitled by enforcing the deal that both parties agreed. Twice a year for two isn’t a hardship
Good grief! I slept on the floor into adulthood when company visited or when visiting some of my relatives. And you know what, nothing happened to me. The 6 year old will be completely fine. If the daughter didn't want the arrangement, she shouldn't have signed the contract.
Story 1 - I might be the odd man out, but I 100% agree with OP. My mother-in-law visits us all the time, and she has horrible back pain! We NEVER make her sleep on the floor because that would be hell for her. My son will sleep in our room (he loves it, it's like a campout), and my MIL gets his comfy bed.
Do people realize what OP did for her daughter? You cannot buy a house without AT LEAST 5 - 20% down payment. Plus, if OP sold it to anyone else.... she would have recieved her lump sum IMMEDIATELY! Now she has to wait 15 years before she is fully paid. Do they get how kind this was??? It took my husband and I 8 damn years to save enough for our first home. OP didn't require any of that!!! She blessed her daughter greatly and her ONLY request was "I need a bed twice a year" and her daughter couldn't even do that? That is technically a breach of contract. Who makes their mother sleep on the floor when you have young kids? The daughter is acting ungrateful and entitled.
Hell no! You gave her the money interest free. You could easily make things very tough for her with her breach of contract! OP is NTA at all and is a generous mom! Just call in the balance of what she owes since she breached that contract and I’m pretty sure her attitude will change!
Just seven months and he wants a luxury car? Wtf
Regarding the house and Mom staying a couple days, I'll say that ANYONE who thinks daughter is correct is probably just as entitled and selfish as the daughter (translation - neither of those are good traits). #1. Daughter Signed A Contract SPECIFYING that mom could use that room and that bed whenever she was in town. #2. The principles of hospitality require reasonable accommodation of relatives (reasonable - not unending). Two days twice a year is eminently reasonable. #3. Daughter got the house with NO FEES, and a reasonable end date for payments. That alone should make daughter overflowing with gratitude. Refusing to accommodate mom is the opposite of showing gratitude. #4. The title deed is STILL in mom's name. Daughter may not realize it, but that essentially means that she has a "contract for deed". And any violation of which could result in eviction for violation of contract. #5. That refusal to accommodate mom is a violation of contract.
The only curious part about all this for me is WHY did mom feel the need to include accommodation into that contract? Sounds suspiciously like mom knew daughter would "forget" to be gracious and hospitable.
Daughter can pay for the hotel, and if she doesn't, call in the loan for contract violation and demand payment in full - which means daughter will have to find a formal lender, or default on the contract and lose the house.
I’m physically and mentally disabled. I’m an adult now and still will give up for relatives.
When I was a kid I’d sleep on a blow up mattress. Or a closet. The number of times a closet was turned into an isolated nest for me to hide in for the night or under a tall bed or whatever.
My parents made it fun, and my family loves me a lot. But I’m the youngest birn of the youngest born on both sides. So I was raised to understand they’re elderly or need it too.
Like I still crash on the couch and just cope with the pain flare. I know most folks don’t think it’s healthy, but the thought of asking my older relatives to be in pain when I’m young is awful to me.
Like it sounds so awful to me.
Sounds like her daughter needs time to process and cope.
Then you should've put that burden on a healthier sibling if you had any, no need to set yourself on fire to keep others warm
Third option. Your daughter has decided that the punishment is so mild that it’s worth it to misbehave? Many teens do the cooking for the family dinner and love it. Is it possible that you missed the target completely on the punishment choice? 😂you might be rewarding her instead.
Why can’t the little one bunk with one of the siblings or with mom and dad ?!
Ur in the right contract is binding put them out.
There was a school that only allowed vegan and vegetarian meals. The kids started a black market for meat meals
Geez, it only for a day or two and she agreed in the beginning. To tell her mom that she has no bed for her. The kid can camp out with the other kids, be nice and sleep on the couch, etc. It's only a couple times a year!!! Her daughter is inconsiderate, not kind and disrespectful. What a disappointment for the mom. What happened to kindness of the heart...especially for your Mother!!
Not the idiot. Kid can sleep elsewhere. This agreement was super generous.
A legal contract should be honored.
The YTAers in the first story is, um...interesting: the daughter is reneging on the agreement.
dunno why you would tell your boyfriend of 7 MONTHS something that is beyond life changing.... at first i thought i misread it and saw 7 YEARS, dump him and his friends and take this as a lesson and keep your own mouth shut especially with new relationships JFC...what an idiot move by OP
I don’t think giving up a room for two days would hurt the children. Although, personally, I’d prefer a hotel because I can sleep in, stay in my pajamas, order room service & watch what I want on tv.
People who need help are usually the ones who don't ask. Those that want or feel entitled do ask & expect handouts. I cannot imagine ever asking someone for a part of their lotto winnings. The only way I would ask is medical treatments for my son.
NEVER TELL ANYONE YOU WIN MONEY!
My husband n I have a 2 bedroom house. Our spare room is my exercise room. However anytime my parents visit I rearrange n put up as much as I can to setup the air mattress so we can stay in there while my folks stay in our room. I can’t imagine refusing for the daughter to have her son sleep elsewhere during the rare visit from her mother. Anyone who is of a certain age or older should not be expected to sleep on floor. 🤦♀️
LOL! Man (35), and daughter(16)-- Moved in with man's parents, to help father take care of mother. Man and daughter take turns cooking dinner, but when daughter gets in trouble, her punishment is taking his cooking duty for a night. Just occurred to me: "I'm glad you got yourself in trouble today, I really didn't want to cook tonight!"
YTA response to story one is ridiculous. Yeah, the bank isn't gonna ask to stay in your room, the bank also isn't giving you no fees for a home loan with no down payment. You also wouldn't sign a contract with that exact agreement with your bank. Paying for her hotel would be a more than reasonable compromise. Expecting the single stipulation of a contract that gave your kid a house for a fucking steal to be honored is not entitled.
Even without a signed contract, when elders visit the kids should be the ones giving up their beds. Unless there are health issues it won’t kill the kid to sleep on an air mattress/cot for two nights. Good grief, when did we become a society that sets children up to be above heir grandparents?
I would happily sleep on the floor if my grandma could come visit for two days! Grandma will not be here for ever, one day she will die. Hope you will have no guilt after, then is too late to say sorry. People who act like this person only think of themselves. You agreed to this. Two days and you can not even do that? Wow. I would give almost anything to see my grandma again for just two days, and you can not even be bothered.
Yep, even aside from the fact that daughter and SIL got a great deal on the house with no mortgage interest, for a house that they couldn't afford to buy, It's not unreasonable to have a 6 year old give up his room for 2-3 days, twice a year when Grandma comes to visit. I was still sleeping on cots somewhere else in the house (or on the floor with camping pads and sleeping bags, etc. ) when relatives came to visit when I was a lot older than 6 yo.
Illustration - I am severely allergic to fish shellfish and seafood. When I go to a family or social function I can not just ASSUME that people are not going to have my allergens around me or "accidentally" cross-contaminate something before I get to my plate. (can't take allergy pills if your throat has closed off, and yes I carry my Benadryl AND EPI PEN). I usually can look to see if there is food I can eat, and if nobody can answer my question about a dish, I just don't touch it/eat it. One time I was helping my sister let a contractor in while she was at work. She offered some of this casserole. I could not get ahold of her to ask her if there was fish or anything like that in the dish. So my shortcut is I pulled some of the casserole aside and stuck my finger in it knowing that if the dish had fish shellfish or seafood in it MY FINGER WOULD GO NUMB WHERE IT TOUCHED MY SKIN. Thankfully my finger did not go numb and the casserole was safe for me to eat.
QUESTION - if the "vegetarian" child was allergic he would have had a really bad reaction (hives, blisters, canker-sores, EYES AND/OR AIRWAYS CLOSING OFF SO YOU CAN'T SEE OR BREATHE) so for that child's sake I hope the vegetarianism is an issues mostly for "mom" and she's just making it out like you're going to kill "her baby" with her extremists ways.
Another Illustration PAUL MCCARTNEY's Wife is one of those vegetarian extremists to the point where if she goes on a plane or ship/cruise she will let the entire cruise ship know that they are serving VEGETABLES ONLY AND NO MEAT AT ALL or she would go ballistic (so the story goes) and now the "you're killing my baby with that meat!!!" BS umm sounds like he loves eating at other people's places without his mother because HE LOVES THE MEAT DISHES. So suck it up "woman" or you're on a level of C R A Z Y!!!! along with Margaret White, Carrie's mother (see Stephen King's CARRIE) now THAT woman was a piece of pious work
I was treated similar as the 16 year old cook! I too hate cooking now!
Story one. Being the oldest of three girls in my family, I got my own room early. But it came with a price. When we had overnight company I gave up my room to them and shared a room with my other sisters! Period! This should be a no-brainer. Especially as they, mother and daughter, have a contract stating the amount and number of payments for the house AND the terms that said mother will be staying there a certain number of times and days, until the home is paid for by the daughter. If the daughter breaks the contract, then the house should go back into the mothers hands. PERIOD! Doesn't matter if daughter has had more children. The kids can share while grandma is visiting!
Lmbo who on earth tells someone they have only been seeing for 7 months they won lotto. Dump the trash, dump the friends and block them all. Be careful they might try kill you to get the $$$$$.
When i lived in another city for college, and my parents would come to visit and stay the night. I had a spare mattress and a recliner. My dad took the recliner., my mom took my twin sized bed, and i had the spare mattress on the floor. I wouldnt dream of putting my mom on the floor. That's my momma. She sleeps on a bed.
You need a new boyfriends & new friends. Get the money locked down then you can genuinely say, “The money is locked in funds that I cannot touch.” Put some of the funds into an emergency trust & have someone oversee it to be sure it is a real emergency. Make sure your bf doesn’t have any of your passwords or account access.
Kids give up their rooms for relatives visiting all of the time. Put a bunk bed in one of the kids room and be happy that grandma still wants to be with you. I just can’t imagine not giving an aunt or uncle my room and bunking with my sister. This isn’t a MIL problem. This is a drama problem. Understand that there is a growing number of Boomers (60yrs+) who are opting out of being grandparents. The narcissism in that generation is dumbfounding and disastrous.
That might be true of the US but not the UK or many other countries. Grandparents (boomers) provide the majority of childcare.
Boomers are great grandparents now. Boomers, Gen X, Millenials, Gen Z. If they're still alive they've likely earned doing whatever the hell they want. I'm on the young end of Gen X and I already know I'm gonna be a holidays and birthdays grandpa (but in spectacular fashion so that those visits are looked forward to). "Do you hear that distant rumble? I believe grandpa John just came around the corner at the end of the block on his Harley." And many tiny voices ring out in cheers.
@@Kay-uy4xn wow that's just sad in other countries then
@@velvetdarksoul8741 I believe she was referring to narcissistic behavior not being a generation problem in UK and other countries. Which would in fact be a good thing. I could be wrong but that is what I took from her statement.
@@garnetj69 you were right, I wasn't being clear
Being so cruel and inhospitable to the person who made it possible for her to even HAVE that house. Over a TWO DAY stay. I feel awful for this poor woman that her ingrate family doesn't value her generosity more and won't honor agreements better. I feel bad they don't care more about her...maybe they don't want her around because they've spun a very different tale for friends and in laws about how they got the house, i.e. their "hard work" instead of OP'S generous arrangement.
For the lottery winner. Lose the boyfriend. And don't touch that money. Also lose the friends. Your boyfriend's maturity level is off the charts bad news.
mother has a contract with daughter and the number of kids doesn't come to bare with the agreement. She should do it or lose the house or contract.
My son took the floor so grandma could sleep in a better bed. It isn't a big deal.
An agreement stands unless and until both parties define and agree to an amended agreement. Always get it in writing.
The cooking story: Giant YTA OP is acting more like a teen than his own child. Cooking and cleaning shouldn't be a punishment but an expectation for both growing boys and girls. Children need to be prepared for their adult life because it doesn't matter if they are married or single they will need to know how to keep a house. All he is teaching his daughter is to resent cooking for herself when she is older.
Time Grandfather "punishes" OP, cooking lessons until he can cook.
The daughter should never have agreed to the deal if she is unable to follow through. It's in writing so she owes either the money for her hotel stays or simply pay off what's owed on the house.
How convenient that your daughter gets in trouble when it’s your turn to cook. After is a jerk.
Vegetarian mom story - I had a friend in highschool that ate burgers and pizza and junk food veraciously at school, despite being a twig. I didn't realize until we visited his house for a party that his step mom was vegan and forced everyone else in the house to be vegan too. My friend hated it, but his dad just made him go along with it. Forcing a diet choice for anything other than medical/allergy reasons is gross and wrong. A teenager can decide for themselves what they want to eat.