In my early 20s… my mom and I were the grocery store and little did I know the Frito rep was taking interest in me as he was shelving the chips. He went to my mom and asked if he could ask me for my number! ( I was not next to her but close by to where I could see them talking) I was so impressed! He was not physically attractive but something about him having enough confidence and courage to ask my MOM first, turned that around a bit. Confidence is so attractive! Btw I love your new set! ❤
I’m married and have eight kids, my oldest is 17. I am so grateful for these podcasts to be able to help my adult kids navigate the dating scene in the near future. I’m going to get this book for my oldest! I wish I had read something like this when I was younger!! Thanks, Lila!
Yes to all of Rachel’s advice! I was swept up in the evangelical movement of “when you know, you know” and this left me vulnerable to eventually marrying a narcissist. Now on the other side of divorce (and than thanks be to God, converting to Catholicism) marriage is now a beautiful Sacrament I look forward to participating in if God wills. Thank you Rachel & Lila!
I love the anecdote about someone meeting their spouse in the parking lot of a grocery store! I love hearing different ways people met. I met my husband while waiting for a bus! I struck up a conversation with him because he was reading a fantasy novel and I love fantasy! A good friend met hers at a rodeo; she was in the competition and he was a local sheep farmer; I think that sounds like a romance flick 🥰
Met my wife when she slid in under my arm (I was the tallest guy in the vicinity at the time) and she asked me to walk with her coz a guy was creeping her out with his awkward advances. I was happy to walk with her. As a matter of fact, it's much easier to be the chivalrous guy than the creepy guy. And I've been both depending on which girl you ask.
I met my husband at a coffee shop. He really liked that this random loud chick had the confidence to wear a 2-tiered green velvet cape with a weapons design on it and he came over to compliment it. We ended up talking for the rest of the evening about mutual interests and we've been inseparable ever since 🙂.
Another thing I think that’s worthy to note, I haven’t finished listening though. But it’s important to remember to CONTINUE to date your spouse once you do get married ❤
100% - Rachel's book is incredible! I really benefitted from her spelling out what made for an unhealthy & not-right-for-you relationship. It's also refreshing for once to see Lila Rose not shaming single women in their 30s - they may have wanted to marry in their 20s too, but God knows best, and sometimes that does mean getting married to the right person in your 30s, 40s, or even beyond!
Thank you Lila and Rachel! This is great advice for women (good advice here for men also). We need more women teaching women like ya'll do. This is the way to win the hearts and minds of women! I am not saying men should not lead - quite the opposite - but the cancerous affects of feminism go deep. Women afflicted by feminism do not listen to men. On the video, some advice from a guy: 1: DO NOT EXPECT romance in chance encounters. You have a much greater chance of meeting your spouse in your social circles. Create social circles or join them. Do this as your primary way of meeting people. I would wager 90% or more of marriages start in social circles; do not expect provision through a chance encounter at a coffee shop or bookstore. 2: DO EXPECT first interactions to be awkward and occasionally a little forced. Many guys have little practice or are out of practice in furthering the attention of women. Ultimately, a good sign of leadership in a man is if he initiates first contact. But not necessarily how well that first contact goes. So expect awkwardness.
Thank you so much Lila and Rachel, I needed to hear this talk!! ❤❤ It couldn’t have been more perfect timing too!! This video was so fun and informative, I couldn’t help but smile and laugh throughout!! 😊 Love the playful banter between you and Rachel!! I am 23 years old and am in my last year of graduate studies. Often times my very busy and hectic school/clinical schedule interferes with young adult Catholic events and even spontaneous social outings so hearing this information is very helpful! God bless you for all the work you do and sending you much love as your sister in Christ!! 💕
@@LilaRosePodcast thank you! I state it not as a doomer, but recognizing just how difficult the landscape has become. This was a great talk when it comes to encouragement!
😂😂😂 thank you! Someone who gets it. I see my friends and others who got married 5-6 years ago wondering what's the problem, yet literally the scene has changed so much within just 5 years.
I am one minute in and I really am turned off by married people who use the “last chopper out of Vietnam,” metaphor. It creates even more anxiety in people who are dating and trying to find their spouse. It does not instill hope or joy or trust that God has a plan. Married people: please stop saying this.
That's a good point. I know it's normally said in jest, so I won't make a big deal out of it, but us singles generally want some amount of hope and encouragement that we can find someone. Telling us we're stuck doesn't really help. 😅
I don't need this since I'm not worthy of a relationship but it is refreshing to see some positivity regarding the subject. I hope you folks out there find that special person you're looking for.
@@bigfatdogby Yeah thats what I said. I'm someone who has failed at life with no real accomplishments. Women are innately not attracted to somebody like me. That and I couldn't support a woman financially even if I did have one. If anything I'm saving women a boat load of misery by staying away from them. I'm self-aware enough to understand that without being upset about it. It is what it is. I can still wish everyone else luck though.
I actually put boundaries like this: Talking=just talk Dating=hold hands, talk about deep conversations, meet the family, cheek and forehead kisses only Engagement= deciding where to live, spending more time with family, kiss but not make out Marriage= be one in mind, body, and soul
Warm Welcome (It's still Summer for U.S.) to Rachel Hoover Canto! Thanks again, Lila! I literally like your videos before listening and figuratively like them while listening and after listening (so I don't undo the like button). Hope you and yours have a very light-filled peaceful joyful blessed Happy Freedom Funny-over-Fear Family Friday.
I’m a grateful Catholic. I like a certain Catholic woman. She’s amazing. She told me she isn’t interested in being more than friends with me. Thankfully I’ve been watching Bishop Barron’s absolutely amazing series “Catholicism” through his Word on Fire 🔥 app, and have been working on detachment. Truly liking someone doesn’t happen everyday. Have you ever heard of a man, cemented in the “friendzone,” somehow “de-cement” himself and win/earn the affections/heart of the woman who did the “friendzoning?” Is there hope??? Oh Lord, please let it be so 🙏🙌☝️✨
God can work miracles if it’s meant to be; however, I think you should be respectful of her decision to not want to be more than friends with you. If you keep trying, that will start turning into the creepy factor that the ladies were talking about. I know you must really like her and want to hold onto hope; but you need to be respectful as a Catholic man to not continue to persue after an answer has been clearly given to you. This is from my perspective as a Catholic woman who wishes the best for you! We need Catholic marriages. If you are called to marry, God will bring the right lady along. But don’t force things because you would be doing so selfishly. God bless you 🙏🏻
@@KM-ok6pkYep I made that mistake in high school with my first interest in girls hoping for much more than the friendzone and it didn’t go over well with the “creep factor.” No I am not talking about crazy serial killer stalking I am talking about how awkward classes were we both were in and the tension was just there.
She’s probably emotionally using you. It’s common. It also means she doesn’t actually respect you. You have to distance yourself from her. Delete her number from her phone. I had to set this boundary with someone and know many others who have had to.
If she said she only wants to be friends that is what she means. Respect that. Continue being kind to her when you see her in groups. Don’t expect her feelings to change or wait around hoping they will. She set a boundary. Respecting it is the greatest gift you can give her if she is someone you truly care about.
The problem I have noticed with a lot of people is that they “fall in love” way too easily. Some people (men and women alike) get a little attention from the opposite sex and they misinterpret it as the person is really into them, where they are just being friendly. Any advice for this?
Loneliness is why because those souls like myself have gotten so used to being alone, by themselves, and never cared about or appreciated that a little bit of love just melts their coldness away.
You are quite handsome. So confidence and conversation will take you far. Ask out all women you find attractive and go for coffee. You’ll find a wife in no time!
I don't think you should date around simultaneously with multiple people(not at the same moment but at a different time)... But I think it has something to do with the culture, I'm not from the US, so we have courtship in our country. I would say entertain people and go on dates ( non exclusive date), ask good sensible questions and have purpose. You can tell in a short time less than 3 months if there's some hope or if it will have a future. So just end it nicely right away and if you both agree with most of the things you've talked about, then the guy should pursue and go to the courtship process (meeting families friends and winning their approval too) 😊.. courtship is exclusive.. we don't have dating term in the Philippines because after courtship is successful, then you're committed to one another and should think about the next possibility of relationship which is marriage... "Dating" around or should I say entertaining people for the purpose of building relationships makes no difference with the online dating way. And personally, I don't understand why the guest's reaction and view of using online dating platforms is negative 😕 but I agree with her ideas about making sure to meet in person which usually happens... This dating and courtship process is actually a case to case.. there's no one formula to be sure of its success.. what I learned is to have a purpose and standards and always pray for it.
Agreed. This dating around is a worldy concept and as such I've seen the consequences of it and it's never good. Besides who has the time to date multiple people at once? That's crazy, it's like turning dating into a full time job, which doesn't say good things about your life. If dating takes up a vast portion of your time then where's the time for God, for purpose, for acquiring skills, for living a full life?
I mostly agree but the one reason why someone might want to date multiple people for the initial dates is if you’re using something like a dating site, if you’re only dating one person for a few weeks, you’re completely missing connections from many other people trying to reach out to you that you likely won’t be able to come back to if the initial person didn’t work out.
I done speed dating a very very long time ago and it did not work out because did not really get any matches and I felt it was going nowhere and just to a dead end
Question on the being extra friendly part and turning it up to "11"... What if the people that you are getting to know and are considering are friends? 😅 Then the being extra friendly might be taken as your normal way of behaving to everyone?
An interesting side effect of becoming a more devout Catholic is the courage I've gained that I never knew i was capable of. Anyone else with a similar realization? Dating, for example, seems less daunting with God on my side. And im in my 40s and although having children may not happen for me at this point, I'm not afraid to be open to them if i marry. And im doing things out of my comfort zone, witj God's help. Getting into fasting and fitness and hobbies. Its interesting....the common Catholic stereotype is of old ladies praying the rosary in church. Little do most people realize the new, devout Catholics are some of the most hardcore people out there. Intense pilgrimages like Chartres, tandem surfers/Harley riders like Bear Woznick (he'd be a great guest!), and homeschool or homesteading husbands and wides that are killing it every day. I have always loved stories of unconventional and interesting couples and little did I know that Catholics are the most awesome!!
Men in the comments besides saying they do Catholic themed activities, what's the difference between this and the toxic "divine femininity" secular advice on the internet. From pursuing all the way to flimsy views on chastity. It's all about how to get things from men, get get get get get. It's a theme I have noticed a lot from Lila's podcasts feminism can enter into her version of Christianity until it comes to dating. That's tough!
I'm an overthinker when it comes to relationships, but I do wonder if a situation would come up where a person is extremely compatible with two people that he/she was talking to.
Im sure it’s a possibility but that’s extremely rare and even so no two people are exactly the same there will be something unique from one or the other that will be the deciding factor(s)
#1 Reason why most men don’t date or pursue… financial anxiety to have it all together before marriage to even have a chance which women expect and require. Correct me here since I am sharing my own experiences that there’s no difference between non Catholic women and godless women who require the man to have it all together before pursuing. The rich guy with the money and status gets the women over the quiet guy who just lives a small simple life without much going on. Women are never going to say “I like that cute guy who only makes about 30k a year working a minimum wage job or is in college yet or is working on himself without having financial resources yet is Catholic or knows so much about many different things I didn’t know.” The stories that all over social media are “I wish this cute rich or well established guy or man of status would be more spiritual and pray with me, go to Church with me, be monogamous, etc and women fall for the social conditioning that they can change the immoral and reckless men into who they want before and share marriage and it’s never the case. Marriage as I understand it is a mutual building up and investment in each other and the relationship.
@@Justyouraverageguy172 I agree. Tupac said in a song “better dayz” that he was broke and he can’t take her to a place she wants to go to. A man has to have the time and money to be in a relationship
These days, it is harder than it was 60 years ago... when one income could easily provide for a family. I think a lot of modern women who want to work would not mind a man without a large salary. But they might be more feminist than what is desired. The issue is that more traditional women want to raise the kids if possible, and avoid daycare, etc. We're definitely in a society where we are suffering as a result of post modern feminism and industrial revolution. I think things are starting to reverse a little. The answer here now, is to ask God to send the right spouse to you. And if not, offer your suffering to God. Find other ways to I still meaning in your life.
@@MorePlausible A question both men and women need to ask is “am I too selfish to care about another human being besides myself and maybe children?” If the answer is yes don’t get married because the heart is not committed to sacrificial love the Sacrament of Matrimony is about. No one is responsible for our happiness but ourselves and a spouse can’t take away the misery, pain, and discontentness, in singleness
When is the right time? because it takes two or more people to come together because you may be ready but if the other people you are meeting are not ready to meet, or they are not into you then what because I been single for more than 5 years and all the women who I have had interest in have not had interest in me for whatever reason
Hey anyone and everyone! I have a close Church of Christ friend and I want to make sure I'm confident on my paedobaptist position before discussing it with him... What are your thoughts when they say Baptism is not like circumcision, because circumcision was done on the 8th day? “And every male among you who is eight days old shall be circumcised throughout your generations, a servant who is born in the house or who is bought with money from any foreigner, who is not of your descendants.” Genesis 17:12 NASB1995 Since they are Church of Christ they would probably like more of Biblical refutation rather than early church history-- I speak from experience with this specific person and their view of the "symbolic" Lord's Supper.. Haha I already watched debates from Gavin Ortlund vs Jordan B Cooper for this too, also later I watched Trent Horn debate Ortlund on this too (Ortlund is credobaptist like this Church of Christ person Thank you guys so much, God bless! ❤️❤️✝️
I agree and have read similar books. But for Christians, should we just date anyone we meet? It would be a waste of my limited time knowing someone isn't living for Jesus.
@@nadyakotik6927 usually people seekout others but God joins one man and one women together so that they may become one, and help each other through life’s ups and downs. So If I was you I wouldn’t date but I would at least maintain a friendly relationship and in due time the right one will continue that same friendly relationship until y’all both realize the coincidence of God bringing y’all together
I disagree on dating multiple people at once. You don't have to be totally invested in one person too quickly, but you should give them your undivided consideration for the time that you're dating them.
Please let me start by saying two things, 1) I am against abortion but with certain exceptions, and 2) I am not an American 🇺🇸 and therefore my opinion is not biased or valid in the internal affairs or politics of the United States 🇺🇸, however, in the age of global communications it is hard to get away from the fact that what happens in the USA 🇺🇸 does have an effect on the world, not everything but the vast majority of events and political issues do, and abortion laws does fit into that category. My personal opinion is that abortion is wrong, especially if it is just for “convenience” or “not the right time”, however a blanket ban is also wrong, for instance, if a child was conceived through rape, if a woman who has already gone through a very heinous act or rape to then not allow her to have an abortion is punishing her again, and what if she is married and already has a family, would any husband want to help his wife bring a child into the world and raise it as his own??, personally I would say no, I wouldn’t or couldn’t, how about the children already in the family, they might find out later in life that their brother/sister was born because their mother was raped and the father was not the father, how would that affect the family dynamics?, what if the child was given up for adoption and later in life want to meet their biological parents?, how would they feel if they found out that they were born from their biological mother being raped by someone that was never identified and the stigma that they would undoubtedly feel????. If the life of a woman is in jeopardy if they try to go to term, potentially dying before or during birth then they need to have the option to abort the pregnancy or to risk loosing their and the childs life causing a whole family to suffer from bereavement and anger because there was no need for the woman to die????. I’m not sure exactly what your stance is Lila but I don’t think that anyone has the right to dictate to a woman when they want the choice, under certain circumstances like those I have touched on, to have an abortion legally, because if you take away that right completely then you will cause a new industry to form………..illegal abortion being carried out by untrained and ill equipped persons in back rooms of buildings in conditions reminiscent of the dark ages, as was the case in my home country, the United Kingdom 🇬🇧, in the years before abortion was legalised, and those illegal abortions cost many women and underage girls their lives, and I guarantee 100% a blanket ban on abortion is going to cause the situation to happen. Thank you for reading my opinions and thoughts, whatever happens in the United States 🇺🇸 I hope that a balance between women’s rights and the rights of a foetus can be achieved.
Recently conversation in czech language. Children in school seem stupid teachers say. They talk about primary school. You have to think about the intelligence of their parents. Degeneration of human brain. "When you talk to primary school teachers, they confirm that children are being stupid. Research shows that degeneration of brain ability is directly proportional to the number of hours spent in the digital world, ” says neurologist Martin Jan Stránský. I wonder children just appear to be stupid because their brain is overthinking like ADHD people are overthinking instead of doing. Hope there will be program for communities where people just look at internet, get some info or inspiration and let it be rest of the day. I just hope parents realize how "false social media advertisement" may destroy their wellbeing and sense of skills. People shouldnt allow kids to have phones. Human brain is finished cognitivelly at age 25.
Without denying that's a legitimate concern, the topic being discussed is how to get a date in the first place. A book on dating can not cover every issue, or it would be a thousand pages long!
Lila it sounds like you don’t condone physical affection all that much even in marriage. I mean aside from sex cus how else do the kids come about. It’s okay to curl up together with your spouse and not just the babies.
@@gabriela6584 But see she then immediately suggests getting kids as fast as possible to cuddle with instead, which means she was talking about when your already married.
When I was 27 at my conversion to Christianity, my Pastor baptised and prayed that I find a wife. 26 years later Im still a bachelor when even my nephews find wives straight away. It looks like its the celibate monk life for me.
Why are women so averse to initiating? Theres so much said about "how to get a guy to ask you out". For crying out loud YOU be the one to ask the guy out!! This way youre facing your fears and even if he says no, its win win, you grow from the experience. I just dont get why women are so fearful about this yet expect men to do the thing they themselves wont do.
It's not so much a matter of fear as it is a matter of preference. A man who will not initiate may not because he lacks self esteem, apt social skills, or simply does not embody a necessary level of masculinity, (which will lead to avoidable trouble later in the rx). By seeing his courage in action, while also feeling pursued and desired as a result, you easily save yourself from dealing men with the aforementioned vices. Of course, there may be other reasons a guy does not approach you first, but a woman has no way of knowing why and shouldn't really have to waste her time thinking about it tbh. Masculinity is bold, and pursuing a woman is one of the most natural expressions of it. (Most) women want masculine men. I have all the confidence in the world to approach a guy, I just don't want to. I want that natural dynamic that is reassuring and pleasing to both parties when done right. Not to mention, there are many guys out there who find it a turn off when the girl plays the man's role. These guys tend to lean more masculine and traditional, both of which are super attractive qualities. Not worth it imo.
@jxsminx1306 I've heard the "preference" speech before and it's an excuse to avoid the potential of rejection. I've met women who've said they prefer to be pursued and it's not because they fear rejection but I've seen these very same women go batshit crazy at even the slightest hint of rejection. So I don't buy the "preference" speech because it's not the actual truth. Don't you realise that men have the exact same preference, in that they'd prefer if a woman asked them out? Most guys will ask a woman out because they know a woman won't step up to the plate and do the asking, but in reality they'd prefer if they didn't have to do it, risk rejection. That's the truth. And another excuse/myth is when women say that it doesn't work out when a woman does the asking......ive heard this before and invariably it's said by women who have never directly asked a man out. Again they're hiding behind a narrative because they're afraid of facing potential rejection. I think the. Bottom line is, don't expect others to do something you yourself are unwilling to do because this is hypocrisy
@@eoinMB3949 Has it ever occurred to you that some women don't ask men out not because of anything besides the fact that... they've never had to do it? lol I have never not once in my life even considered asking a man out! That sounds so taboo, unnecessary, and frankly kind of...desperate. However, yeah I have been willing to approach a man first in my past. This has nothing to do with expecting something I'm not willing to give. You are coming off rather accusatory, and borderline offensive tbh with your groundless, yet very personal accusations. So because you've heard my preference before, it automatically means this is only a means of self-preservation? That's rather presumptuous to assume. And honestly, that sounds *extremely* *solipsistic* on your part. I'm happy to deny this accusation. Believe it or not, I am very comfortable approaching anyone. And not that it matters, but I've never been rejected when approaching a man. And whenever faced with rejection by anyone, I brush it off knowing my worth, unlike these "crazy," dishonest, and honestly weak women you've spoken to - you know, the unstable women you rushed to compare me to. So please don't assume my preference isn't authentic or is simply a cover for self-preservation or cowardice. And for the record, men in their masculine essence do prefer to pursue. I used to not think so, I shared a similar perspective to yours for years. But the truth is the truth. It will always be ideal for a man to pursue first. And most guys who do pursue (from a genuine desire, not because she won't do his job) will do so because it actually feels right to! Idk what crowds you've been around, but this has been the natural order since the beginning. No modern experience is going to change our design. Even in the animal kingdom you'll witness this, it's a social and biological truth. Btw, men shouldn't feel equally as timid to ask out/risk rejection as a woman would bc as a WOMAN it's counterintuitive and unsafe to approach strangers (aka MEN) who can overpower and/or harm you........ *duh?* Is this not obvious? It's literally a matter of physical danger..... You asked why women don't ask men out, so I answered. It feels and is far more natural for the man to ask a woman out, regardless of who actually initiates contact first.
@jxsminx1306 Your comment is dripping with passive aggression, which does not reflect well on your character. I don't buy 90% of what you say, I don't think you're being honest about your experiences. I'll leave it at this though, a man's greatest battle is his lust and this he has to fight and overcome otherwise it makes him a slave and a woman's greatest battle is her pride. Women are prideful and that pride comes out especially in situations like this, "I shouldn't have to ask a man out and men should pay for dates". The antidote to pride is humility, which is the king of all virtues. By asking a man out by initiating you're humbling yourself and stripping away your pride. Otherwise if you continue on this road of pride it'll end In misery. This notion that men have always pursued women and its the "natural order" since the beginning of time......this is a worldly view not a Godly one. No place in the bible will you hear God say that this is the way it has to be. This way is of the world and we're told "Be not conformed to the pattern of this world". If you're offended by that turn and look at yourself and ask why it pushes your buttons? The answer is pride. Be humble and your life will go well
@@eoinMB3949 Im sorry, it's really hard to retain interest in this conversation when you flat out refuse to accept the honest response presented. There's nothing hard to believe about the experience I shared. I got through about 20% into reading your comment, but stopped around there. This may be the weirdest TH-cam interaction I've ever participated in lol. I couldn't read your entire response after my brain processed that you are actively cherry picking what of my comment is worthy of mere consideration. You're picking apart my response, declaring what's false and why *I like* what I like, kind of playing god in a way, while also expecting me to accept everything you write and possibly respond back. I reread my initial response and I don't understand how you got any passive aggression out of that. You have completely misunderstood and misread the responses. I would apologize... but Ive been pretty clear and just shared an opinion/experience, so it just seems to me that perhaps you're going through something, or are dealing with something difficult that you'd misread me so hard and then feel comfortable being so nasty in a personal way. Towards someone you've never met and never insulted you or your opinion. And if true, I pray for you protection and perseverance. As my eyes moved away from your comment I gleamed that you mentioned God; I am happy you are a believer. I've been saved by grace, and I only wish to grow in my relationship with Christ. And for that reason I chose to refrain from reading your entire comment. I don't want to allow the enemy to work through you to get to me. I pray God will strengthen you and heal you. Bye now
Dating talks always seem weird to me, because I don't really understand what's happening. If a guy or girl doesn't know how to talk, flirt, engage, ask for a date, isn't it something they should intuitively figure out? Kind of like, hey I want to make this valentine's really special let me ask someone else what to do-Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose? Let me ask advice on how to ask a girl out, or how to talk-Do you really want to end up marrying someone who couldn't figure that out on their own?
None of us really figure it out on our own. Even people who are really talented at socialization are constantly taking cues from other people. Sure, you can judge people who are trying to better themselves but it seems like a moot point if the person does indeed better themselves. Why wouldn’t you want that lol
@@purplesuitman3764I'm not judging anybody. I'm just saying at certain point you wonder what it means to say, "my girl is great or guy is great." If that person has/had to ask advice on how to talk, how to listen, how ask you out, how to make conversation-you just wonder why doesn't that person have it in them intuitively. I'd really rather meet someone who didn't have to listen to podcasts/read books. It should come from within. I think it makes sense to help people, but also it seems to defeat the whole point, that you're looking for a great guy or girl who just knows this stuff.
@@cmac369 Saying “I’m not judging anyone” doesn’t erase the content of what you said, which just so happens to fulfill the definition of judging. You’re not just wondering why a person needed help, you’re implicitly assuming some defect of character. Again, it seems really unimportant when the end result is still the same. I’m not interested in arguing this back and forth, but I just ask that you reflect on the content of what you’re saying and it’s implications, because other people can clearly see what you’re doing even if you can’t.
@@purplesuitman3764 Man, I’m really upset that I might have hurt your feelings. Maybe I can clarify my thoughts better. The reason I cringe at these dating advice videos is 2 things: First, seeking someone’s help can also be a comfort zone, an excuse for not taking action, maybe not even consciously. Second, when I said I think it should come from within what I mean is that if you help the person so much it’s like they’re not being themselves, they’re just copying pasting. As if someone else is dating vicariously through you. That’s my biggest concern, you lose the uniqueness of the person. I really do believe it’s good to give help to people who need it, I also believe simultaneously to be aware of the pitfalls I mentioned. To my mind, personally taking dating advice would lessen me. However, there some situations when advice is best. I’m unique if I’m a little weird that’s just a unique flavor someone can like or dislike. I don’t want or need advice on love because love happens, it happens simply. Sorry to offend or hurt anyone’s feelings.
@@cmac369 Like I said, I’m not gonna argue the point. Most of what you’ve written in your last comment has very little to do with what you initially said. Don’t worry, you didn’t hurt my feelings, I was being critical because I think your attitude reflects a moral immaturity and as such I should do my part to correct it. I’ve done what I can. If you wish to hold your opinions that is your right.
I think the try it before you buy it approach is for cars not people, and fornicating first will make the woman feel attached and not think straight. Sometimes men feel that way too Not to mention its against Gods word
That's a "Worldy" way of looking at things. A Godly way of seeing it is to understand that when you exercise self control in this area, when you honor God and refrain from sex outside of marriage, God will bless the relationship. I've seen this up close and personal and it's a beautiful thing. On the other hand I've seen relationships where people have sex before marriage and it's a disaster
In my early 20s… my mom and I were the grocery store and little did I know the Frito rep was taking interest in me as he was shelving the chips. He went to my mom and asked if he could ask me for my number! ( I was not next to her but close by to where I could see them talking) I was so impressed! He was not physically attractive but something about him having enough confidence and courage to ask my MOM first, turned that around a bit. Confidence is so attractive!
Btw I love your new set! ❤
Admirable
@@joannadp3488 now this is a gem of a comment.. so confidence is key😏😎thanks for sharing
That is so cool.
I’m married and have eight kids, my oldest is 17. I am so grateful for these podcasts to be able to help my adult kids navigate the dating scene in the near future. I’m going to get this book for my oldest! I wish I had read something like this when I was younger!! Thanks, Lila!
God bless you and your family! May I ask how old you were when you had your first born?
@@nightowl_9021 Thank you! I was 19 (about two months before my 20th birthday) and my husband was 20.
Yes to all of Rachel’s advice! I was swept up in the evangelical movement of “when you know, you know” and this left me vulnerable to eventually marrying a narcissist. Now on the other side of divorce (and than thanks be to God, converting to Catholicism) marriage is now a beautiful Sacrament I look forward to participating in if God wills. Thank you Rachel & Lila!
I love the anecdote about someone meeting their spouse in the parking lot of a grocery store! I love hearing different ways people met. I met my husband while waiting for a bus! I struck up a conversation with him because he was reading a fantasy novel and I love fantasy! A good friend met hers at a rodeo; she was in the competition and he was a local sheep farmer; I think that sounds like a romance flick 🥰
Aww love this! Congrats!
@@LilaRosePodcast Thank you 💗
Met my wife when she slid in under my arm (I was the tallest guy in the vicinity at the time) and she asked me to walk with her coz a guy was creeping her out with his awkward advances. I was happy to walk with her. As a matter of fact, it's much easier to be the chivalrous guy than the creepy guy. And I've been both depending on which girl you ask.
@@Neoteny374 Haha! Love it!
I met my husband at a coffee shop. He really liked that this random loud chick had the confidence to wear a 2-tiered green velvet cape with a weapons design on it and he came over to compliment it. We ended up talking for the rest of the evening about mutual interests and we've been inseparable ever since 🙂.
Another thing I think that’s worthy to note, I haven’t finished listening though. But it’s important to remember to CONTINUE to date your spouse once you do get married ❤
Jordan Peterson said it too.
100% - Rachel's book is incredible! I really benefitted from her spelling out what made for an unhealthy & not-right-for-you relationship. It's also refreshing for once to see Lila Rose not shaming single women in their 30s - they may have wanted to marry in their 20s too, but God knows best, and sometimes that does mean getting married to the right person in your 30s, 40s, or even beyond!
Thank you Lila and Rachel! This is great advice for women (good advice here for men also). We need more women teaching women like ya'll do. This is the way to win the hearts and minds of women! I am not saying men should not lead - quite the opposite - but the cancerous affects of feminism go deep. Women afflicted by feminism do not listen to men.
On the video, some advice from a guy:
1: DO NOT EXPECT romance in chance encounters. You have a much greater chance of meeting your spouse in your social circles. Create social circles or join them. Do this as your primary way of meeting people. I would wager 90% or more of marriages start in social circles; do not expect provision through a chance encounter at a coffee shop or bookstore.
2: DO EXPECT first interactions to be awkward and occasionally a little forced. Many guys have little practice or are out of practice in furthering the attention of women. Ultimately, a good sign of leadership in a man is if he initiates first contact. But not necessarily how well that first contact goes. So expect awkwardness.
I love this video, so helpful. And congratulations on the baby, Rachel!! Can't wait to buy your book.
Thank you so much Lila and Rachel, I needed to hear this talk!! ❤❤ It couldn’t have been more perfect timing too!! This video was so fun and informative, I couldn’t help but smile and laugh throughout!! 😊 Love the playful banter between you and Rachel!! I am 23 years old and am in my last year of graduate studies. Often times my very busy and hectic school/clinical schedule interferes with young adult Catholic events and even spontaneous social outings so hearing this information is very helpful! God bless you for all the work you do and sending you much love as your sister in Christ!! 💕
finally lila. its about time you did an episode on dating
I discerned out of seminary two years ago and within those five years dating became like a battle Royale you have to survive.
You got this
@@LilaRosePodcast thank you! I state it not as a doomer, but recognizing just how difficult the landscape has become. This was a great talk when it comes to encouragement!
😂😂😂 thank you! Someone who gets it. I see my friends and others who got married 5-6 years ago wondering what's the problem, yet literally the scene has changed so much within just 5 years.
I am one minute in and I really am turned off by married people who use the “last chopper out of Vietnam,” metaphor. It creates even more anxiety in people who are dating and trying to find their spouse. It does not instill hope or joy or trust that God has a plan. Married people: please stop saying this.
That's a good point. I know it's normally said in jest, so I won't make a big deal out of it, but us singles generally want some amount of hope and encouragement that we can find someone. Telling us we're stuck doesn't really help. 😅
Sometimes you have to give people time. Someone has been hurt and needs to heal before they can want a relationship.
Thank you so much for this interview, Lila. I bought the book and I am looking forward to reading it. 👍
I don't need this since I'm not worthy of a relationship but it is refreshing to see some positivity regarding the subject. I hope you folks out there find that special person you're looking for.
Not worthy of a relationship?
@@bigfatdogby Yeah thats what I said. I'm someone who has failed at life with no real accomplishments. Women are innately not attracted to somebody like me. That and I couldn't support a woman financially even if I did have one. If anything I'm saving women a boat load of misery by staying away from them. I'm self-aware enough to understand that without being upset about it. It is what it is. I can still wish everyone else luck though.
Bro your comment is dripping with self pity. Before you go anywhere near a relationship you have to drop this attitude of "poor me". Its repellent
@@eoinMB3949 Doesn't look like self-pity. Looks more like he's resigned.
@@eoinMB3949 Uh no. I don't pity myself. I never have. Read my second comment. I never plan on going anywhere near a relationship in the first place.
Yes ☺️ we did it dating=hold hands relationship=kiss not make out engaged=deeper conversations marriage=sexual intimacy
I actually put boundaries like this:
Talking=just talk
Dating=hold hands, talk about deep conversations, meet the family, cheek and forehead kisses only
Engagement= deciding where to live, spending more time with family, kiss but not make out
Marriage= be one in mind, body, and soul
Buying her book for my niece.
I love your new set. It reminds me of Our Lady of Guadalupe and just brings sp much comfort and makes it feel like a safe space watching.
I was going to say the same thing! :)
So proud of you Rachel!!
Thanks for this talk! I really needed to hear about dating!
I'm very surprised that they did not mention courting at all!
Warm Welcome (It's still Summer for U.S.) to Rachel Hoover Canto! Thanks again, Lila! I literally like your videos before listening and figuratively like them while listening and after listening (so I don't undo the like button). Hope you and yours have a very light-filled peaceful joyful blessed Happy Freedom Funny-over-Fear Family Friday.
Thank you John Henry!
@@LilaRosePodcast Your work is incredible! Thank you so much for these gifts every week. God bless you and your family.
Wow Lila that dress you're wearing is so pretty it stopped me in my tracks. If you're willing to share where you got it I want one for my wife!
I’m a grateful Catholic. I like a certain Catholic woman. She’s amazing. She told me she isn’t interested in being more than friends with me. Thankfully I’ve been watching Bishop Barron’s absolutely amazing series “Catholicism” through his Word on Fire 🔥 app, and have been working on detachment. Truly liking someone doesn’t happen everyday. Have you ever heard of a man, cemented in the “friendzone,” somehow “de-cement” himself and win/earn the affections/heart of the woman who did the “friendzoning?” Is there hope??? Oh Lord, please let it be so 🙏🙌☝️✨
God can work miracles if it’s meant to be; however, I think you should be respectful of her decision to not want to be more than friends with you. If you keep trying, that will start turning into the creepy factor that the ladies were talking about. I know you must really like her and want to hold onto hope; but you need to be respectful as a Catholic man to not continue to persue after an answer has been clearly given to you.
This is from my perspective as a Catholic woman who wishes the best for you! We need Catholic marriages. If you are called to marry, God will bring the right lady along. But don’t force things because you would be doing so selfishly. God bless you 🙏🏻
@@KM-ok6pkYep I made that mistake in high school with my first interest in girls hoping for much more than the friendzone and it didn’t go over well with the “creep factor.” No I am not talking about crazy serial killer stalking I am talking about how awkward classes were we both were in and the tension was just there.
She’s probably emotionally using you. It’s common. It also means she doesn’t actually respect you. You have to distance yourself from her. Delete her number from her phone. I had to set this boundary with someone and know many others who have had to.
If she said she only wants to be friends that is what she means. Respect that. Continue being kind to her when you see her in groups. Don’t expect her feelings to change or wait around hoping they will. She set a boundary. Respecting it is the greatest gift you can give her if she is someone you truly care about.
Find another!
Very practical. Thank you both :)
I think a lot of us need ideas of where to go to meet more people. lol. With the churches empty of youth. It’s a real struggle!
The problem I have noticed with a lot of people is that they “fall in love” way too easily. Some people (men and women alike) get a little attention from the opposite sex and they misinterpret it as the person is really into them, where they are just being friendly. Any advice for this?
Loneliness is why because those souls like myself have gotten so used to being alone, by themselves, and never cared about or appreciated that a little bit of love just melts their coldness away.
@@Justyouraverageguy172 yes, I can see that.
I hope I will find one girl worth pursuing in the near future. At least I could try with one 😂 (regardless of the possibility of rejection).
You are quite handsome. So confidence and conversation will take you far. Ask out all women you find attractive and go for coffee. You’ll find a wife in no time!
@@Foxie770 Thank you, I will!
great episode, thank you
Thanks, ladies ❤
I don't think you should date around simultaneously with multiple people(not at the same moment but at a different time)... But I think it has something to do with the culture, I'm not from the US, so we have courtship in our country. I would say entertain people and go on dates ( non exclusive date), ask good sensible questions and have purpose. You can tell in a short time less than 3 months if there's some hope or if it will have a future. So just end it nicely right away and if you both agree with most of the things you've talked about, then the guy should pursue and go to the courtship process (meeting families friends and winning their approval too) 😊.. courtship is exclusive.. we don't have dating term in the Philippines because after courtship is successful, then you're committed to one another and should think about the next possibility of relationship which is marriage... "Dating" around or should I say entertaining people for the purpose of building relationships makes no difference with the online dating way. And personally, I don't understand why the guest's reaction and view of using online dating platforms is negative 😕 but I agree with her ideas about making sure to meet in person which usually happens... This dating and courtship process is actually a case to case.. there's no one formula to be sure of its success.. what I learned is to have a purpose and standards and always pray for it.
Agreed. This dating around is a worldy concept and as such I've seen the consequences of it and it's never good. Besides who has the time to date multiple people at once? That's crazy, it's like turning dating into a full time job, which doesn't say good things about your life. If dating takes up a vast portion of your time then where's the time for God, for purpose, for acquiring skills, for living a full life?
I mostly agree but the one reason why someone might want to date multiple people for the initial dates is if you’re using something like a dating site, if you’re only dating one person for a few weeks, you’re completely missing connections from many other people trying to reach out to you that you likely won’t be able to come back to if the initial person didn’t work out.
If someone isn’t ready to go exclusive, they have the right to stay open.
As a woman, after hearing this advice I see that I have done so much wrong in dating! Oh, man!
I kept getting called out in this video😭
What are you going to do about it?
I done speed dating a very very long time ago and it did not work out because did not really get any matches and I felt it was going nowhere and just to a dead end
What is the difference of dating and courtship?
Question on the being extra friendly part and turning it up to "11"... What if the people that you are getting to know and are considering are friends? 😅 Then the being extra friendly might be taken as your normal way of behaving to everyone?
I’m 5 hours early but I need this info 🙏
Love it!
An interesting side effect of becoming a more devout Catholic is the courage I've gained that I never knew i was capable of. Anyone else with a similar realization? Dating, for example, seems less daunting with God on my side. And im in my 40s and although having children may not happen for me at this point, I'm not afraid to be open to them if i marry.
And im doing things out of my comfort zone, witj God's help. Getting into fasting and fitness and hobbies.
Its interesting....the common Catholic stereotype is of old ladies praying the rosary in church. Little do most people realize the new, devout Catholics are some of the most hardcore people out there. Intense pilgrimages like Chartres, tandem surfers/Harley riders like Bear Woznick (he'd be a great guest!), and homeschool or homesteading husbands and wides that are killing it every day. I have always loved stories of unconventional and interesting couples and little did I know that Catholics are the most awesome!!
No one is perfect FACTS
Men in the comments besides saying they do Catholic themed activities, what's the difference between this and the toxic "divine femininity" secular advice on the internet.
From pursuing all the way to flimsy views on chastity.
It's all about how to get things from men, get get get get get.
It's a theme I have noticed a lot from Lila's podcasts feminism can enter into her version of Christianity until it comes to dating. That's tough!
I'm an overthinker when it comes to relationships, but I do wonder if a situation would come up where a person is extremely compatible with two people that he/she was talking to.
Im sure it’s a possibility but that’s extremely rare and even so no two people are exactly the same there will be something unique from one or the other that will be the deciding factor(s)
#1 Reason why most men don’t date or pursue… financial anxiety to have it all together before marriage to even have a chance which women expect and require. Correct me here since I am sharing my own experiences that there’s no difference between non Catholic women and godless women who require the man to have it all together before pursuing. The rich guy with the money and status gets the women over the quiet guy who just lives a small simple life without much going on.
Women are never going to say “I like that cute guy who only makes about 30k a year working a minimum wage job or is in college yet or is working on himself without having financial resources yet is Catholic or knows so much about many different things I didn’t know.” The stories that all over social media are “I wish this cute rich or well established guy or man of status would be more spiritual and pray with me, go to Church with me, be monogamous, etc and women fall for the social conditioning that they can change the immoral and reckless men into who they want before and share marriage and it’s never the case. Marriage as I understand it is a mutual building up and investment in each other and the relationship.
@@Justyouraverageguy172 I agree. Tupac said in a song “better dayz” that he was broke and he can’t take her to a place she wants to go to. A man has to have the time and money to be in a relationship
These days, it is harder than it was 60 years ago... when one income could easily provide for a family. I think a lot of modern women who want to work would not mind a man without a large salary. But they might be more feminist than what is desired. The issue is that more traditional women want to raise the kids if possible, and avoid daycare, etc. We're definitely in a society where we are suffering as a result of post modern feminism and industrial revolution. I think things are starting to reverse a little. The answer here now, is to ask God to send the right spouse to you. And if not, offer your suffering to God. Find other ways to I still meaning in your life.
A question each man needs to answer is: I am ready to provide (albeit simply) for a wife and child?
@@MorePlausible A question both men and women need to ask is “am I too selfish to care about another human being besides myself and maybe children?” If the answer is yes don’t get married because the heart is not committed to sacrificial love the Sacrament of Matrimony is about. No one is responsible for our happiness but ourselves and a spouse can’t take away the misery, pain, and discontentness, in singleness
When is the right time? because it takes two or more people to come together because you may be ready but if the other people you are meeting are not ready to meet, or they are not into you then what because I been single for more than 5 years and all the women who I have had interest in have not had interest in me for whatever reason
The boring guy aka the nice guy is the one who will not hurt you and will be faithful to you
The ads are unbearable but great content nonetheless
Whats the name of the book?
Pretty Good Catholic!
Hey anyone and everyone! I have a close Church of Christ friend and I want to make sure I'm confident on my paedobaptist position before discussing it with him...
What are your thoughts when they say Baptism is not like circumcision, because circumcision was done on the 8th day?
“And every male among you who is eight days old shall be circumcised throughout your generations, a servant who is born in the house or who is bought with money from any foreigner, who is not of your descendants.”
Genesis 17:12 NASB1995
Since they are Church of Christ they would probably like more of Biblical refutation rather than early church history--
I speak from experience with this specific person and their view of the "symbolic" Lord's Supper.. Haha
I already watched debates from Gavin Ortlund vs Jordan B Cooper for this too, also later I watched Trent Horn debate Ortlund on this too (Ortlund is credobaptist like this Church of Christ person
Thank you guys so much, God bless! ❤️❤️✝️
I been rejected to many times in my 38 years of my life
love it
I feel like so much of this is just basic social skills that have been lost with time and social media awkwardness.
I agree and have read similar books. But for Christians, should we just date anyone we meet? It would be a waste of my limited time knowing someone isn't living for Jesus.
You’ll understand more after you read the book.
@@nadyakotik6927 usually people seekout others but God joins one man and one women together so that they may become one, and help each other through life’s ups and downs. So If I was you I wouldn’t date but I would at least maintain a friendly relationship and in due time the right one will continue that same friendly relationship until y’all both realize the coincidence of God bringing y’all together
My reply is that with the woman god sends you, you can become more.
What about student loans? Red flag?
Willing to put up with them? Is person paying them off..?
I disagree on dating multiple people at once. You don't have to be totally invested in one person too quickly, but you should give them your undivided consideration for the time that you're dating them.
Anybody have any advice on how I can find a woman to save me by marrying me and being my infants step mom 😅
Please let me start by saying two things, 1) I am against abortion but with certain exceptions, and 2) I am not an American 🇺🇸 and therefore my opinion is not biased or valid in the internal affairs or politics of the United States 🇺🇸, however, in the age of global communications it is hard to get away from the fact that what happens in the USA 🇺🇸 does have an effect on the world, not everything but the vast majority of events and political issues do, and abortion laws does fit into that category.
My personal opinion is that abortion is wrong, especially if it is just for “convenience” or “not the right time”, however a blanket ban is also wrong, for instance, if a child was conceived through rape, if a woman who has already gone through a very heinous act or rape to then not allow her to have an abortion is punishing her again, and what if she is married and already has a family, would any husband want to help his wife bring a child into the world and raise it as his own??, personally I would say no, I wouldn’t or couldn’t, how about the children already in the family, they might find out later in life that their brother/sister was born because their mother was raped and the father was not the father, how would that affect the family dynamics?, what if the child was given up for adoption and later in life want to meet their biological parents?, how would they feel if they found out that they were born from their biological mother being raped by someone that was never identified and the stigma that they would undoubtedly feel????.
If the life of a woman is in jeopardy if they try to go to term, potentially dying before or during birth then they need to have the option to abort the pregnancy or to risk loosing their and the childs life causing a whole family to suffer from bereavement and anger because there was no need for the woman to die????. I’m not sure exactly what your stance is Lila but I don’t think that anyone has the right to dictate to a woman when they want the choice, under certain circumstances like those I have touched on, to have an abortion legally, because if you take away that right completely then you will cause a new industry to form………..illegal abortion being carried out by untrained and ill equipped persons in back rooms of buildings in conditions reminiscent of the dark ages, as was the case in my home country, the United Kingdom 🇬🇧, in the years before abortion was legalised, and those illegal abortions cost many women and underage girls their lives, and I guarantee 100% a blanket ban on abortion is going to cause the situation to happen.
Thank you for reading my opinions and thoughts, whatever happens in the United States 🇺🇸 I hope that a balance between women’s rights and the rights of a foetus can be achieved.
You talk a lot about eye contact being necessary. What should autistic women do, since eye contact isn’t always an option for us?
Just trying to get 1date. :)
Recently conversation in czech language. Children in school seem stupid teachers say. They talk about primary school.
You have to think about the intelligence of their parents.
Degeneration of human brain.
"When you talk to primary school teachers, they confirm that children are being stupid. Research shows that degeneration of brain ability is directly
proportional to the number of hours spent in the digital world, ” says neurologist Martin Jan Stránský.
I wonder children just appear to be stupid because their brain is overthinking like ADHD people are overthinking instead of doing.
Hope there will be program for communities where people just look at internet, get some info or inspiration and let it be rest of the day.
I just hope parents realize how "false social media advertisement" may destroy their wellbeing
and sense of skills. People shouldnt allow kids to have phones. Human brain is finished cognitivelly at age 25.
i wish you had more viewers than asmr
😮❤❤
Your talking about rejection yet it’s mostly betrayal.
Without denying that's a legitimate concern, the topic being discussed is how to get a date in the first place. A book on dating can not cover every issue, or it would be a thousand pages long!
Lila it sounds like you don’t condone physical affection all that much even in marriage. I mean aside from sex cus how else do the kids come about. It’s okay to curl up together with your spouse and not just the babies.
No, she was obviously talking about new relationships
@@gabriela6584
But see she then immediately suggests getting kids as fast as possible to cuddle with instead, which means she was talking about when your already married.
When I was 27 at my conversion to Christianity,
my Pastor baptised and prayed that I find a wife.
26 years later Im still a bachelor when even my nephews find wives straight away.
It looks like its the celibate monk life for me.
Why do you think you haven’t found a wife?
Can women just come up to a guy they like and say how they feel and stop playing games with me how about that
In the USA, dating multiple people is culturally normal and healthy. God created culture for a reason- it’s OK to live in the one He gave you ;).
This comment section is a matchmaking post . . . (if we want it to be)
Every time I want to compliment someone, I imagine myself being in jail the next day.
Why are women so averse to initiating? Theres so much said about "how to get a guy to ask you out". For crying out loud YOU be the one to ask the guy out!! This way youre facing your fears and even if he says no, its win win, you grow from the experience. I just dont get why women are so fearful about this yet expect men to do the thing they themselves wont do.
It's not so much a matter of fear as it is a matter of preference. A man who will not initiate may not because he lacks self esteem, apt social skills, or simply does not embody a necessary level of masculinity, (which will lead to avoidable trouble later in the rx). By seeing his courage in action, while also feeling pursued and desired as a result, you easily save yourself from dealing men with the aforementioned vices. Of course, there may be other reasons a guy does not approach you first, but a woman has no way of knowing why and shouldn't really have to waste her time thinking about it tbh.
Masculinity is bold, and pursuing a woman is one of the most natural expressions of it. (Most) women want masculine men. I have all the confidence in the world to approach a guy, I just don't want to. I want that natural dynamic that is reassuring and pleasing to both parties when done right.
Not to mention, there are many guys out there who find it a turn off when the girl plays the man's role. These guys tend to lean more masculine and traditional, both of which are super attractive qualities. Not worth it imo.
@jxsminx1306 I've heard the "preference" speech before and it's an excuse to avoid the potential of rejection. I've met women who've said they prefer to be pursued and it's not because they fear rejection but I've seen these very same women go batshit crazy at even the slightest hint of rejection. So I don't buy the "preference" speech because it's not the actual truth. Don't you realise that men have the exact same preference, in that they'd prefer if a woman asked them out? Most guys will ask a woman out because they know a woman won't step up to the plate and do the asking, but in reality they'd prefer if they didn't have to do it, risk rejection. That's the truth. And another excuse/myth is when women say that it doesn't work out when a woman does the asking......ive heard this before and invariably it's said by women who have never directly asked a man out. Again they're hiding behind a narrative because they're afraid of facing potential rejection. I think the. Bottom line is, don't expect others to do something you yourself are unwilling to do because this is hypocrisy
@@eoinMB3949 Has it ever occurred to you that some women don't ask men out not because of anything besides the fact that... they've never had to do it? lol I have never not once in my life even considered asking a man out! That sounds so taboo, unnecessary, and frankly kind of...desperate. However, yeah I have been willing to approach a man first in my past. This has nothing to do with expecting something I'm not willing to give. You are coming off rather accusatory, and borderline offensive tbh with your groundless, yet very personal accusations.
So because you've heard my preference before, it automatically means this is only a means of self-preservation? That's rather presumptuous to assume. And honestly, that sounds *extremely* *solipsistic* on your part.
I'm happy to deny this accusation. Believe it or not, I am very comfortable approaching anyone. And not that it matters, but I've never been rejected when approaching a man. And whenever faced with rejection by anyone, I brush it off knowing my worth, unlike these "crazy," dishonest, and honestly weak women you've spoken to - you know, the unstable women you rushed to compare me to. So please don't assume my preference isn't authentic or is simply a cover for self-preservation or cowardice.
And for the record, men in their masculine essence do prefer to pursue. I used to not think so, I shared a similar perspective to yours for years. But the truth is the truth. It will always be ideal for a man to pursue first. And most guys who do pursue (from a genuine desire, not because she won't do his job) will do so because it actually feels right to! Idk what crowds you've been around, but this has been the natural order since the beginning. No modern experience is going to change our design.
Even in the animal kingdom you'll witness this, it's a social and biological truth. Btw, men shouldn't feel equally as timid to ask out/risk rejection as a woman would bc as a WOMAN it's counterintuitive and unsafe to approach strangers (aka MEN) who can overpower and/or harm you........ *duh?* Is this not obvious? It's literally a matter of physical danger.....
You asked why women don't ask men out, so I answered. It feels and is far more natural for the man to ask a woman out, regardless of who actually initiates contact first.
@jxsminx1306 Your comment is dripping with passive aggression, which does not reflect well on your character. I don't buy 90% of what you say, I don't think you're being honest about your experiences. I'll leave it at this though, a man's greatest battle is his lust and this he has to fight and overcome otherwise it makes him a slave and a woman's greatest battle is her pride. Women are prideful and that pride comes out especially in situations like this, "I shouldn't have to ask a man out and men should pay for dates". The antidote to pride is humility, which is the king of all virtues. By asking a man out by initiating you're humbling yourself and stripping away your pride. Otherwise if you continue on this road of pride it'll end In misery. This notion that men have always pursued women and its the "natural order" since the beginning of time......this is a worldly view not a Godly one. No place in the bible will you hear God say that this is the way it has to be. This way is of the world and we're told "Be not conformed to the pattern of this world". If you're offended by that turn and look at yourself and ask why it pushes your buttons? The answer is pride. Be humble and your life will go well
@@eoinMB3949 Im sorry, it's really hard to retain interest in this conversation when you flat out refuse to accept the honest response presented. There's nothing hard to believe about the experience I shared. I got through about 20% into reading your comment, but stopped around there. This may be the weirdest TH-cam interaction I've ever participated in lol. I couldn't read your entire response after my brain processed that you are actively cherry picking what of my comment is worthy of mere consideration. You're picking apart my response, declaring what's false and why *I like* what I like, kind of playing god in a way, while also expecting me to accept everything you write and possibly respond back.
I reread my initial response and I don't understand how you got any passive aggression out of that. You have completely misunderstood and misread the responses. I would apologize... but Ive been pretty clear and just shared an opinion/experience, so it just seems to me that perhaps you're going through something, or are dealing with something difficult that you'd misread me so hard and then feel comfortable being so nasty in a personal way. Towards someone you've never met and never insulted you or your opinion. And if true, I pray for you protection and perseverance.
As my eyes moved away from your comment I gleamed that you mentioned God; I am happy you are a believer. I've been saved by grace, and I only wish to grow in my relationship with Christ. And for that reason I chose to refrain from reading your entire comment. I don't want to allow the enemy to work through you to get to me. I pray God will strengthen you and heal you. Bye now
Dating talks always seem weird to me, because I don't really understand what's happening. If a guy or girl doesn't know how to talk, flirt, engage, ask for a date, isn't it something they should intuitively figure out? Kind of like, hey I want to make this valentine's really special let me ask someone else what to do-Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose? Let me ask advice on how to ask a girl out, or how to talk-Do you really want to end up marrying someone who couldn't figure that out on their own?
None of us really figure it out on our own. Even people who are really talented at socialization are constantly taking cues from other people.
Sure, you can judge people who are trying to better themselves but it seems like a moot point if the person does indeed better themselves. Why wouldn’t you want that lol
@@purplesuitman3764I'm not judging anybody. I'm just saying at certain point you wonder what it means to say, "my girl is great or guy is great." If that person has/had to ask advice on how to talk, how to listen, how ask you out, how to make conversation-you just wonder why doesn't that person have it in them intuitively. I'd really rather meet someone who didn't have to listen to podcasts/read books. It should come from within. I think it makes sense to help people, but also it seems to defeat the whole point, that you're looking for a great guy or girl who just knows this stuff.
@@cmac369 Saying “I’m not judging anyone” doesn’t erase the content of what you said, which just so happens to fulfill the definition of judging. You’re not just wondering why a person needed help, you’re implicitly assuming some defect of character. Again, it seems really unimportant when the end result is still the same. I’m not interested in arguing this back and forth, but I just ask that you reflect on the content of what you’re saying and it’s implications, because other people can clearly see what you’re doing even if you can’t.
@@purplesuitman3764 Man, I’m really upset that I might have hurt your feelings.
Maybe I can clarify my thoughts better. The reason I cringe at these dating advice videos is 2 things: First, seeking someone’s help can also be a comfort zone, an excuse for not taking action, maybe not even consciously. Second, when I said I think it should come from within what I mean is that if you help the person so much it’s like they’re not being themselves, they’re just copying pasting. As if someone else is dating vicariously through you. That’s my biggest concern, you lose the uniqueness of the person.
I really do believe it’s good to give help to people who need it, I also believe simultaneously to be aware of the pitfalls I mentioned. To my mind, personally taking dating advice would lessen me. However, there some situations when advice is best. I’m unique if I’m a little weird that’s just a unique flavor someone can like or dislike. I don’t want or need advice on love because love happens, it happens simply.
Sorry to offend or hurt anyone’s feelings.
@@cmac369 Like I said, I’m not gonna argue the point. Most of what you’ve written in your last comment has very little to do with what you initially said. Don’t worry, you didn’t hurt my feelings, I was being critical because I think your attitude reflects a moral immaturity and as such I should do my part to correct it. I’ve done what I can. If you wish to hold your opinions that is your right.
Not fucking someone before you marry them is a terrible idea. Impractical and honestly just silly.
How to kill a relationship 101
I think the try it before you buy it approach is for cars not people, and fornicating first will make the woman feel attached and not think straight. Sometimes men feel that way too
Not to mention its against Gods word
That's a "Worldy" way of looking at things. A Godly way of seeing it is to understand that when you exercise self control in this area, when you honor God and refrain from sex outside of marriage, God will bless the relationship. I've seen this up close and personal and it's a beautiful thing. On the other hand I've seen relationships where people have sex before marriage and it's a disaster
Avoiding unwanted pregnancies, STDs, and emotional rollercoasters is impractical?? lol
This is wonderful advice.