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Most gays I've met were sexually molested by there dad's, there dad's were sexually molested by there dad's or a close male relative. In most cases I've ran across, it appears to be a generational thing.
@dondrejames1679 I know 4 gay dudes. and all four told me the same story- thier dad's sexually molested them as baby's, toddlers, ect. It's not normal for a dad to do that, so I figure thier dad's experienced the same thing. This is in Springfield, MO. Appalachian mts folks and Ozark folks both have history's of incest or child sex in familys. Goes back to isolation, 100 to 200 yrs ago. No cars, no electricity, no birth control so 9 to 15 kids common. No way out, trapped. But incest and dad's meeting kids still goes on. The bible says be careful what your kids learn, because that's what they become as adults.
And THIS is why we don’t do sleep overs. THIS is why we have all technology in the main room of the house. THIS is why I am the “mean” mom who believes in letting them be little while they still are because so much harm can be done by neglecting, avoiding and rushing them to grow up. Thank you for this.
I agree. I won't let my daughter do sleepovers. There is no reason your child needs to sleep somewhere you can't protect them. Sleep is your most vulnerable state in a 24 hour period. I never understood why you would allow your kids to sleep at another family's home. There's no reason for it. Hanging out during daylight hours is good enough.
A lot of children have had trauma due to exposure to things. Children should never be exposed to. I was bisexual in my 20s and not until therapy that specialized in sexual trauma. Did I understand that this attraction was me trying to be closer to my mother who alienated me and the fact that my abuse from three years old to 16 years old by the same family member went ignored. I did not want any men near me because I felt as though all men wanted to do was put things inside of me as a child. 😢 I see this in the feminist movement so much because the fear of men is a real reality for a lot of women who have been abused as little girls and as adults at parties being drunk. Same goes for men who have been abused as children often by a babysitter this is why we have more males that deny revel relationship with women then we do women with males. Women tend to heal better but men go and seek our other males who have been through the same type of trauma and form a personal relationship with them because there’s a familiarity to the abuse. Being in this community for a very long time, I was very confused until I got therapy for my own abuse and realized everybody around me, have been traumatized since they were children and exposed to things they should never be exposed to. Corn with a capital P is the culprit to a lot of sexual dysfunction and confusion for children, especially when adults are handing out magazines back in the day and telling boys at promiscuity is something to be praised when it should be discouraged! The same boys who were praised for sleeping around with multiple girls by their fathers are the same boys who are saying that they want a virgin and a young girl to marry yet they participated in shaping the young girls that they shame! They created this quick fix of sexual promiscuity, instead of love and understanding of women. Thank God for women like Lila Rose.
I recently clicked on a brand new tv show with very famous actors in it, it seemed like a family show. First scene was sex. It's EVERYWHERE, not just where we expect it to be. Be vigilant, parents.
Men not wanting to date women has nothing to do with trauma from babysitters. Jesus Christ you say you go to therapy crearly its not working. Stop projecting your owns issues and thinking you can about why men do what they do.
@@LemonJuice516 you really understood nothing from this person comment. I personally knew many gay men and they all went through a lot of trauma. It looks like a violent vindictive hateful father, and a submissive complacent mother, creates in effeminate kids a fear of masculinity (to be desired by the mother) mixed with a brutal need to subdue a man (the father). I experienced sexual abuse as a kid as well as a woman, and it messed my brain.
This. Doesn't it look to you that since homosexuality was removed from list of mental conditions any research about the impact of sexual abuse and trauma in early life of homosexuals disappeared? And now it's happening with transexuals too...
I am struggling with this. I think it's because my father was only physically there (sometimes) but was NEVER emotionally involved in our lives. He was insecure, angry, absent, and obsessed with his work. Pray for me to get a confession soon. I truely believe that the Miraculous Medal will save me❤❤ it's already working miracles in my life
It cannot be because your father was not around otherwise I’d be gay and so would nearly 3/4 of African-American men It can be because One of the fathers in your ancestral line was Doing gay stuff and you’re suffering from a generational curse But that would not explain The explosion of this generation claiming to be or trying to be Gay But the education system social media culture all these things are contributing factors they made it seem like it’s like a thing to do to fit in Majority Bones will do whatever they think is necessary to fit Way to avoid that the authority of your sin is to fear God more which you should do because he’s coming back momentarily like maybe even today foreal Crashing the election with His First fruit sELECTions
Prayers for you. 1 Timothy 2:5, you don't need to confess to someone else you can go straight to God through Jesus. Having community and counsel is helpful though but not needed to go to God. Blessings
@@skylarb3815don’t lead others astray James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power in its effects.
I’m celibate 10 years now. I have deep seated ssa. I identified as Demisexual gay. I’m a Melkite Greek Catholic. It’s difficult but I have discovered my SSA is because of my molestation at 13 by a married man who was in his late 30’s, my father who was abusive, and pornography. Identifying as this has only brought me pain and suffering. I’m glad I left. Pray for me a sinner.
Glory to god for opening your eyes and heart to understand the truth behind your struggle. But remember we are not slaves to sin anymore. We do not need to suffer or surrender to sin for Jesus already beat that battle on the cross for u. Ask him beg him to take it away and he will. It’s all spiritual warfare and the enemy making u think you’re attracted to something you’re actually not. Be as open and vulnerable with god beg him to help you and I promise you when the time is right he will heal you. I struggled with similar thing and many sexual issues due to childhood trauma and glory to god he saved me from that. It is possible I promise. I felt mother Mary bring me to her son and he saved me. I would go to mass and to Chufch and pray with my head on the ground crying begging him to help me but I did it with faith and he healed me. going to daily mass, confession, receiving communion, reading my Bible daily, praying my rosary help keep me grinder. I will pray for you stranger and I promise he will save you from this lie the enemy has put in our heads.
Receiving communion as a catholic literally saved my life. I was a slave to sexual sin but once I started receiving his holy body and blood in the Eucharist I haven’t gone back. He says in John that that is truly his flesh and blood and having his real presence inside on us strengthens us and renews us. Obviously there’s moments where the enemy gives temptations and tries to make me fall but the lord is infinitely stronger and greater then what the enemy tries to put in our head. God bless you ❤
Pornography is a BIG part of this!! I started to sin and look at women in the way I should not. I’m so happy to say I’m not watching pornography and I am no longer “attracted” to women. Praise God. 🙏🏼
Lol! I thought you were a dude confessing to being gay!😂 Anyway, great to know that God helped you through your struggles! Continue to trust in Him and I pray that he blesses you with a great family and a long life!😇
I have been addicted to pornography from a very young age. I have been delivered recently and it feels amazing. Porn destroys souls. It is absolutely vile and retched thing. I pray for all to be delivered of it!
@@Gatheist being gay is so so so normal. God simply asks us not to act on those attractions. If it weren't prevalent, there wouldn't be any reason to have a rule against it. It doesn't matter "what made" someone gay. It's a matter of loving God more than you love anything else. Jesus Loves you so so so much. He knows your suffering and suffers along side you. He sacrificed Himeself for you and rose again from the grave to show you that you are not alone and if you put your trust in Him, He will always take care of you. If Jesus really is who He says He is, He is reliable and trustworthy. All we have to do is ask for His help and seek truth at all costs.
I’m SO HAPPY to hear Catholics talking about EMDR. It is truly a gift from God! It helped me heal enough to find Jesus again after living as a confused and depressed Atheist for years. Please look into it if you’re needing help healing from something you can’t seem to get past.
@@gustavomora7593 Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Basically, this is a combination of sights and sounds that are listened to and watched while the person is re-experiencing a trauma or thought they want to be extinguished. YES, it works. In fact, it is considered the "gold standard" for vets re-experiencing war trauma. It works much faster than talk therapy alone. How do I know? I am an MSW and have also gone through this therapy myself as I had to let go of an abusive ex which was making me hypervigilant. I plan to take this training soon. I'm a School Social Worker and Therapist.
Yep. Same thing with trans. Either they experienced a real childhood event that traumatized them or they have a proclivity to be more sensitive so life struggles impacted them differently.
Same. I've worked in fields where they are very prevalent. Everyone of them had an sa story. And alot of them "preyed" on straight people. Trying to convert them. Turns out constant flirting and praise will get weak people to try whatever you want.
My son is gay, trans - believes he is non-binary and I don't know how to help him. I know there had to be trauma in his childhood, but I don't know the extent. I tried to guide him towards Jesus, but feel like everything I did after a certain point just drove him further away. Please pray for him, and pray that I can be a better father that points him to Jesus and our Heavenly Father.
How old is he? It's entirely possible he wasn't traumatized, but that he is indoctrinated. The peer pressure on kids now to embrace this is out of control. It makes Scientology look like Romper Room.
Look, the trans stuff will likely go away. Just calm down. It's a big issue in society. But the gay component is likely just him being him. Please don't make his life terrible.
@fritzco55 that would be a horrible mistake. Sounds like gender dysphoria is very strong. Not sure of his age, but usually by late teens these things subside.
I am gay, and I had the most idyllic parents [mother AND father], childhood & life growing up. Affluence, devoted parents, two younger brothers, top-tier education for everyone, sports, church, plenty of male friends and masculine influence to this day… I could go on and on. A true “Beaver Cleaver” existence, and was unquestionably born gay. And God did *NOT* make a mistake with me. 👌💪 PS: *EVERYONE* has trauma. Also, most people who have told me about their traumas and abuses are straight; just like most of the population is straight. Always be open to new information, but take it all with a grain of salt. False [and potentially false] equivalencies, whether conscious or unconscious, are often made to suit narratives.
@@TheSparky777I know this and the therapist also explains it. Sexual attraction is influenced by attachment bonding with parents, external interference such as abuse, and a combination of 28% genetic predisposition (not 100% as the lgbt claim 🤐). Factors that can trigger same-sex attraction include pornography, negative experiences with the peer group (particularly of one's own sex). There are no gay or straight children because children are not sexually active. Thus, a difference must be made between gay and homosexual: the gay or lesbian person is that person who constructs his or her identity from his or her sexuality and arises purely in social political activism. The homosexual, on the other hand, is a person who is sexually and sentimentally oriented toward the same sex. The homosexual does not necessarily practice homosexual acts.The homosexual might decide not to be part of gay/lesbian activism and might not attend the pride festival.
Glad to read this. Don't let this internalized homophobia and repressive religion hold you back from being proud of yourself and the way that you express love
@@rositag77 It’s an orientation; a state of being. Please educate yourself more fully; especially if you are going to be essentially attacking someone regarding things about which you quite clearly know absolutely nothing. None of those described life situations apply to me in any way, as I stated very thoughtfully. I’m not here to argue. Please do not respond. THANKS!
Omg I’m so glad I stumbled upon this video because I had prayed to God to help me find good media, specifically music that I could share with my kids that was good, healthy and edifying for when I have kids and finding a Catholic therapist that could help me with my issues concerning sexuality as a result of my sexual abuse as a child and I’m so glad that He answered my prayer, I’m so thankful
This was a beautiful episode!! These interviews that cover the complications of family relations and help me as a mother know how to love my children well in a chaotic world are my absolute favorite!!
@@milagroscapomasi8525 the podcast is wrong if they're not acknowledging the hormones in food contributing to the issue. Girls menstruating at 9 or 10 years old is insane.
I actually think one day people will understand just how big of a role food plays. In many health problems as well. When i see all the junk food in stores i think just because it is addable does not mean we should eat it. And they market it to kids to get them hooked young.
This is excellent and a very important conversation. For those who do not wish to live a SSA lifestyle, there must be an alternative narrative offered. Thanks Lila Rose.
Dr. Nicolosi had a clinic in CA, until Conversion Therapy was banned. He has passed away but his children worked with him. I think they moved their clinic to Florida.
there is, it's chastity + trauma therapy, 12 step groups, etc. And yes, indeed. Certainly important conversation...time to get into MEAT! Shallow is delusional.
I’m a therapist working in this area with individuals experiencing unwanted same-sex attraction. You’re doing great work, Michael. You’re onto something significant. 💯 Thank you for featuring this guest, Lila Rose. 👏🏼
I have to say, until I fixed my wounds, healed mentally and spiritually, I was either attracted to women, or would attract men who are also deeply wounded. At one point I stopped all dating/relationships and focused on growth, healing, also returned to my faith. Took years, but life eventually brought me together with a wonderful man who is the complete opposite..... Our life experiences shape us, so they also shape our attraction.
Very glad this stuff is actually being discussed again. The lie about the origins of same-sex attraction has dominated our conversation and we need to get back to the truth.
Guys I appreciate that a lot of people have stories of childhood trauma and are making connections between that and their homosexuality, but please don't make extrapolations that are unjustified. Myself and many other gay people had perfectly decent, loving upbringings in stable households, with a present mother and father who both loved and cared for us, and was was never traumatized or abused. There's no shortage of people who were traumatized as children who grew up to be straight, and in those cases we wouldn't say that their heterosexuality was caused by those experiences. This is a complicated area, we can't make broad-sweeping generalizations about all gay people. There is always the risk of viewing other people through the prism of your own experience. If you have a personal story to tell, tell it, but don't apply inappropriate extrapolations from it to people you don't even know. The experiences of gay people who can't link their sexuality to abuse/trauma is also real and valid. Keep in mind, homosexuality has also been observed in over 1000 species of animals, and some of them include pair bonds - just look up Sphen and Magic, the same-sex penguin pair from Sydney Aquarium. Now, I'm not suggesting we anthropomorphize animals but it is fair to say there are deep continuities that run throughout the animal kingdom. We wouldn't seriously start linking cases of animal homosexuality to trauma? Let's tread carefully and gently in this area before making bold, declarative statements, thinking we can speak for everyone. One can only speak for oneself.
I'm a black man who grew up in my matriarchal community. I resonate heavy with alot of your experiences & examples, esp @34:30 where you dont feel like an affirmed man (or normal one) when the media and community around you only affirms one Archetype of masculinity and effectively disregards or shuns the others (the intelligent class/nerds or anyone a bit more alternative in view and expression). So it was either become what people (including my mother) wants or sink. I literally didnt think I was a real man. And encountered many obstacles to connect with peers and embrace my uniqueness as an equally valid but different archetype worthy of respect and affirmation. It's interesting hearing ones perspective who has their father in their lives consistently and still encountered these types of issues. Thank you for this broadcast as I work to improve my life in a way that reflects my more traditional and spiritual values Ive always sought.
His path is a similar path of my late husband except he asked his parents to change schools in early high school after suffering from bullying. That change made a huge difference in his life because this school was a smaller private school that celebrated the arts as much as sports. When I met him I thought he was a wonderful sensitive man who loved the arts. Very interesting conversation. Michael is very knowledgeable. ❤
I came out as lesbian my senior year of high school, and had spent the prior 2 years trying to figure out my sexuality. Im now 28, and ive started to question the origin of these feelings. As i get older my understanding of my sexuality has shifted and after 10 years of only dating women, im interested in dating men, finding a husband and having babies. As a teen i felt closeted with my feelings of same sex attraction. Ironically, I feel closeted with these new feelings. Now if i speak out loud my thoughts about homosexuality, ill be called a bigot! I dont feel like i have anyone to talk to about it. Therapists are trained to affirm, so i will be labeled as having internalized homophobia and professionals will try to help me accept it about myself. Im not religious, but i find myself seeking out these stories of "ex gay" testimonies to try to understand myself more. Its a bizarre experience and i feel very alone in it. I relate to a lot of what he shared about attachment and exposure to sex/porn too early. Growing up my mom was highly critical of me, my dad was inconsistent with his moods. There was always conflict. As far as gender expression, mom treated me like a little doll and I wasn't allowed to have a voice about how I expressed myself with hair or clothes. I didn't feel girly like the other kids, but I wanted to. I wasn't supported in building connections with my female peers. by the time my mom got her stage 4 terminal cancer diagnosis, I was knee deep in preteen rage at her. I had to swallow all of that to be her caregiver, and then was left with a huge hole in my life where my mother should have been. My father struggled with mental illness, especially after, and I ended up in foster care placed with one aunt and then the other. Both were highly critical and I experienced narcissistic abuse. Behind the scenes I had secretly found p orn on my older brother's computer at 10 years old. I found books that talked in detail, and I found my mother's smut erotica books. After my mom passed and my father's abuse was turned on me, i dated the first boy who gave me attention. He further exposed me to p orn, and a lot of what we did was not consensual. Not his fault, instead of speaking up, I disassociated. My aunts shamed me for that relationship and I grew up through high school not feeling womanly enough, not feeling like a man would ever actually want me or be happy with me due to my lack of curves and looking much younger than I am, according to my critical aunts. I'm now realizing that's not true and I'm healing my understanding of my own femininity. I need to heal into feeling like I am complete as a woman, and then a beautiful, healthy masculine man will see me as exactly what he desires.
As much as i want to be open, it's hard to watch for me as a gay man. For me I never had a choice that's for sure. I actualy don't think there was anything that traumatic in my childhood that caused it but hell knows what's considered a trauma nowdays. Maybe I'm genetical idk but tbh idc either. It's not something you can change. Those who can change or had some level of choice must have been on the spectrum of bisexuality in the first place in my opinion. I think a lot of people are bisexual or as you said have a level of fluidity in their sexuality but that's not true for everyone. Bisexuality also still could be genetical and more likely even more hard to detect. The other problem with bisexuality is that they pretty much can develop a preference and turn into full gay or straight and I guess that's what you are actualy talking about. You basically don't want bisexuals to turn gay. I also want to point out that there were researches about that the homosexual brain works differently or that there are even physical traits, slight differences in face structure for homosexuals. The first thing I thought when I saw Michael that he must be gay/bi just by looking at him and then he started to talk about his same-sex attraction. It is what it is and I'm not saying it because I have any intention to drag him down or something but I literally see it on him. There are also lots of moral questions about this whole topic too. If there would be an actual cure and people like Michael wants to be "cured" then I won't stop you but it has to be the individual's choice and that includes children. Same for conversion therapies. If a child wants it themselves, that's okay but if the parents force it those parents are monsters sorry.
I have two sons who are now grown men-both successful professionals. Neither of my kids were abused, sexually or otherwise, but my one son is gay. This son was different from the womb: he kicked very gently compared to his brother. He was always very sweet and caring and liked to bake more than roughhouse. He had more female friends from toddlerhood on. I truly believe he was born gay same as I was born straight and I would never shame him or try to change something so integral to his being. He is a fantastic person and son and he’s in a very happy same sex relationship with a guy who is wonderful.
There is the problem "he had more female friends than male" he should have not been allowed to hang out with girls and adopt their mannerisms. He's a male. And as for bake cookies and such? Do you think men aren't chefs
Sometimes tge abuse goes un iticed by tge parents and the kids are too small to remember. I know it’s hard as a mother to hear this bc it’s like looking in the mirror and see you did donething wrong and nobidy wants that guilt.. But i also agree with the other commenter… it still seems to have been nuture not nature
@@ClaireFrances But yet the motto is let kids be kids? NO! Don't have a double standard. Let your sons or daughters naturally make friends with the same sex AND the opposite sex, do NOT force it because it could create a connection in the child's mind that women are bad or something you should steer clear from. It's called conditioning. By yelling at your child or punishing them for hanging out with females as just friends, it may create a connection in that child's mind that hanging around females (even romantically) equals punishment and arguing and something negative/harmful. Let kids be kids by letting kids play, friending whichever sex (female or male) they want, and explore their own interests (such as sports, art, and baking). Either it will carry on in life or it will blow over.
Don't see the point in this comment. This is a voluntary therapeutic option for those that aren't happy and do have issues. We already know that there is *some* degree of nature in there. There was never a claim that no man can be gay without being abused, just that many are. From personal experience... I know at least five men who have homosexual tendencies primarily thrugh trauma. Three of them primarily want a relationship with women. Being able to have biological children is important to many people... I'm not someone who will die on the hill that homosexuality is morally wrong, but there's clearly more going on than 'it's just a fun, completely normal thing that should never be questioned'.
God wants you to be sanctified and that doesn't mean following what makes you feel happy at the moment "It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality" 1 Thessalonians 4:3
amazing episode, thank you Lila and Michael, for having this important conversation. My boys are 6 and 9, and I have worried a lot about raising them right, and approaching sexuality with them at the appropriate age. My husband and I are very protective and do not allow unsupervised screen time, sleepovers, or playdates at homes where we don't know the parents. I agree on all those points you made, and that its so much easier to be proactive rather than having to heal trauma down the line. We must be vigilant and do what we can but ultimately must trust that God is with our children and is able to protect them, and God is able to heal and deliver us from past traumas and hurts. we don't have to stay there! He is so good and always faithful!
Loved unconditionally. Supportive parents. Went to church for all of my life. Affluent upbringing. No rape. No trauma. Well educated. 1 masters, 3 bachelors, 1 associates. Top of 10th of my class. Lots of male friends. Played sports and was the best tennis player in counties. Stilllll gay. Happy that way as well.
@@georgianadarcy9072this is what homophobic/anti gay straight people tell themselves in order to justify the mistreatment of gays. If you’re anti gay that’s fine, but stop looking for convenient excuses.
I knew this guy years ago. He was clearly a closeted gay man profoundly struggling with reconciling that with his faith. I’m very sad to see that he’s still struggling so much.
This is an important topic. And for those who are affected by it and seek alternative voices, it is so crucial to be able to find people like this psychologist. Thabk you both for this video.
Love how strong your faith is Michael Gasparro; God bless you for your fortitude and prudence; truth, and light in the darkness. I agree whole heartedly that the Catholic Church needs to realize the need for hands on healing ministry through the sacrament of the "sick"; absolutely necessary for healing of childhood traumas and abuse.
Good morning, Lila! Thank you for having Michael Gasparro on and sharing some of his story. He's been awesome so far! I was in the chat for around 30minutes in, and excited to continue, and you know how you asked in your community post why we listen to the podcast? I'd draw a long arrow to this episode. And I'm very sorry for anyone who suffered abuse. If anyone is struggling, please know you are loved, which, I don't know how much this means here but hopefully saying this definition helps bring things more down to earth in case you're like me struggling with cynicism and thinking it's emotional baloney (it's a reason I feel like Nightmare Before Christmas' Jack Skellington excited going "What's this?" with people like you Lila and Father Mike Schmitz being a light in this dark world which it was wonderful to hear him on yesterday's prayer podcast! Thank you for having him since you, Father Mike Schmitz, Trent Horn, and Jimmy Akin are in my Mount Rushmore of all time favorite people I've ever heard on the internet since childhood...Also, Father Ambrose was amazing! Your Easter Episode with him is still my favorite light-filled loving Lila Rose episode, and not just because I like alliteration, and maybe top 5 podcasts of all time from anyone!) but it's sincere- "To love is to will the good of another." -St. Thomas Aquinas And if anyone feels like your heart is breaking, if it means anything, I hope it can give you a little ease to know that in order for your heart to break, you must have love in your heart, which means you have so much love to give, and thank you for being so loving. All life is precious and priceless! Your life matters! No one can be a better you than you, and I believe God loves us far more than we love ourselves and everyone on earth possibly could combined. We have the Lord of the Universe who has seen it all willing the best for us! I've been praying my Rosary daily for help with purity and chastity. And have been praying to Jesus through the intercession of St. Valentine patron saint of love, young people, and marriage; St. Agatha martyr of purity; St. Mary of Egypt a sex addict turned saint; martyr St. Charles Lwanga; Saint Mary Magdalene patron saint of sexual temptation, people ridiculed for piety, women, penitent sinners, converts, and contemplative life; and St. Augustine of Hippo Doctor of Grace for help to unite our crosses to our Lord Jesus so they can be stepping stones to sanctity to be with Him forever in Heaven. This is another quote I hope you enjoy- "Would you like to see God glorified by you? Then rejoice in your brother's progress and you will immediately give glory to God. Because his servant could conquer envy by rejoicing in the merits of others, God will be praised." -St. John Chrysostom And hope these are helpful- Psalm 34:19 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, saves those whose spirit is crushed. Isaiah 49:15-16 Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you. See, upon the palms of my hands I have engraved you; your walls are ever before me. 1 Corinthians 26-31 Consider your own calling, brothers. Not many of you were wise by human standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. Rather, God chose the foolish of the world to shame the wise, and God chose the weak of the world to shame the strong, and God chose the lowly and despised of the world, those who count for nothing, to reduce to nothing those who are something, so that no human being might boast before God. It is due to him that you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God, as well as righteousness, sanctification, and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Whoever boasts, should boast in the Lord.” Sirach 35:16-20 He shows no partiality to the weak but hears the grievance of the oppressed. He does not forsake the cry of the orphan, nor the widow when she pours out her complaint. Do not the tears that stream down her cheek cry out against the one that causes them to fall? Those who serve God to please him are accepted; their petition reaches the clouds. 1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel: Do not judge from his appearance or from his lofty stature, because I have rejected him. God does not see as a mortal, who sees the appearance. The Lord looks into the heart. John 17: 20-21 '“I pray not only for them, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, so that they may all be one, as you, Father, are in me and I in you, that they also may be in us, that the world may believe that you sent me." John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid. Thanks again, Lila! You are amazing! Hope you and your family, and everyone here has a light-filled peaceful joyful blessed week!
Wow. The first time I heard about Micheal was at a conversation with Andrew Rodriguez in this very topic couple months ago, but this conversation is even more profound, detailed, and nuanced. It has helped me a lot in my own path being a 4-year convert follower of Jesus who lived for 20 years as an homosexual man. I'm watching this from Argentina. It would be great to have Spanish subtitles in order to make it accesible to non-English speaking people and be blessed by Michael's articulated information on this topic which is greatly needed today.
Im gay, totally normal, not religious just a boring regular guy who happens to be gay, nothing needs to be changed, just live your life, accept who you are, stop trying to change what you are.
Im gay but i have a nice happy life. i had friends, and i have my father thru my life growing up. I never sexually abused or get advantage of when i was a kid. When i young i play games and outdoor games with other neighbours kids and thats it. Not every gay who came out as gay have traumas.
Hi Lila! I always love your content but this was especially eye opening and important . I am an Orthodox Jew and I find that this topic is sooo under touched and super important in todays world. Thank you both!❤
What big horse shit! Didn't go through trauma, wasn't abused, had great parents. Had good relationships to men and women and still turned out lesbian. And there is nothing wrong about being gay and being a Christian. Don't over analyse everything and let people play God and put you in boxes.Live with Christ and everything will fall in place. Live and let live.Love and you will be loved ❤.
I highly, highly doubt that boys have to shift to their dads as their primary emotional attachment around 2-5 years old. Both boys and girls continue their primary emotional attachments to their moms for a lot longer. Dads are often at work and are generally not as involved as moms in the upbringing. There are other inaccuracies in this presentation as well.
This is so good and true! Thank you for this. I raised my son as a single mom and his father was never involved. I know this is one of his deep wounds that he still carries with him and identified around 15-17 as being gay. He gave his life to the Lord fully last year at age 20 and was baptized and radically changed by God! Praise God for His faithfulness! We all have God shaped hole in our hearts, especially those who have experienced trauma or not having a parent involved in their lives or abuse- whatever it is! Jesus is the ultimate healer 🙌
This is indeed a very important program. My daughter is a therapist, and I think a very good one. She is a compassionate woman and even her voice is so soothing. However, she supports abortion and she calls herself a “depth psychologist.” She has explained a little of what that means. But I don’t believe she would agree with Michael Gasparro in terms of her treatment of homosexual clients. I wish she would watch this video and really listen to what he says.
Listen to me: You are not a man, period. A Man has POWER, we don't have it, we are just rats waiting to do wrong things. Now, you are a Male, and if you are attracted to males, you can't be attracted to female, period. You are saying something absurd 100%. Real Males never will be attracted to a male ever, period. Don't try to confuse young males.
I'm glad you had this conversation, because I've been wondering about this for over a decade. It's always seen toe a coincidence that all gay people experience some abuse or SA.
I have a friend who one day told me "I'm gay". I had read the genetic evidence and knew that there is no such thing and I told him that. He was shocked. He had totally ingested that he just "was" gay. Within a month or two this fit , handsome young man was dating a young woman and as far as I know he carried on down this path. Its a behavior so often tied to abuse and family issues or death of a same sex parent. God heals us and just helps us to be what we actually are. I've read there are 3 times more "ex-gays" than gays, as one would expect.
Childhood trauma is the cause of most harmful behavior - drug/alcohol addiction, promiscuity, violence, etc. - not just SSA. It's beyond sad how rare a HEALTHY FAMILY creating HEALTHY CHILDREN has become. There is no hope for us without Jesus.
According to what's written in the New Testament, Jesus didn't say anything about homosexuality, let alone whether it was good or evil. However, he certainly started changing a lot of things written in the Old Testament and replaced them with a far more loving alternative. To mention one such teaching, instead of agreeing to an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, Jesus taught about love, forgiveness and compassion. Yet, even so, we still have so called Christians condemning homosexuals in Jesus' name???? Another question I have regarding the OT is how is it that God supposedly made rules of hate towards those who are born with desires for their own sex for life partners, has created so many humans with both sexual genitals???
Its just so sad that we call children anything at all .. put a pre label this or pre label that. We change, grow evolve our selves so rapidly in the first 18 years, and thats tough enough! Cant we just answer their questions lovingly & honestly as it suits our family & culture.
I’m an Orthodox Christian. Church Fathers teach us about temptation and all kinds of works. That's why some monasteries won't have nuns sleeping together with nuns or monks with monks. In the end, we get backwards, to all that the Church Father has taught us but not with so much of explanations or context details, psychological context etc. In the end, we are going more and more stupid… thinking we are free but we are oppressed by our mind which has been concurred by the devil. Church Fathers are telling us that demons are little minds. Angels are a type of mind…….
As a woman, I don’t trust other women. I have very few friends and of the ones I have we don’t hang out. They’re more introverted like me too. But I must say that they are very ethical. So I’m very selective. However, it still didn’t turn me into a lesbian.
@@Disgruntled_Canadiancan you give examples of traumas they could be? Funny enough I find myself relating to the original comment. I have a loving boyfriend but I find myself struggling making real connections with female friends. I build a wall and somewhat feel like these are superficial relationships. The friendships I enjoy tend to be the ones where philosophical discussions happens.
¡Bravo! Excellent. Wow, Michael’s knowledge is in-depth, not just regarding the topic of Lila’s podcast, but in handling discussions with your child when the child raises the topic of sex. Michael Gasparro’s knowledge is expansive, but is also extremely targeted for the individual. Anyone, seeking him for therapy will find themselves in contact with an incredible resource. And a resource for life. !Bravo!
Myself growing up.. My dad died early in a hospital, and i grew up with my mother and 3 sisters.. they had no masculinity to give me. But i ended up in a lot of fights, which helped me. I never bowed down to anyone, and i still don't. I only bow to God. 'Born a Christian', yeah, i think i was born a Christian, all-though my home was not Christian at all. I have always been drawn towards God, even at a young life. I have seen God, or God's power.. i have seen and felt a massive yellow/white glowing light all around me that appeared after i kneeled down and asked God to save me.. i ment it, i was lost and cried, my whole being was praying for God. God is real, and He can help you. We can all be lost in the darkness, but God holds the light for us to see and find our way. Stay with God.
This guy sends my gay-dar screaming 'code red' and he's talking about overcoming homosexuality - the irony is almost comical. On the subject itself, the idea that homosexuality is either mostly genetic or mostly due to upbringing is an oversimplified dichotomy, because it ignores the possibility of the neurological foundations being laid during fetal development, which is largely a function of hormones (especially in regards to testosterone under/overexposure). So there could be zero genetic component while at the same time they're 'born that way'. The fact that gay men tend to be feminized (like the fellow you're interviewing) and gay women tend to be masculinized, and this can be observed as early as toddler age, is evidence that this is largely a neurological aberration, neither genetic nor environmental. You can learn more about these facts and the evidence for them in "The End of Gender" by Debora Soh (not a woke book at all, despite the title). Also, male sexuality isn't nearly as 'fluid' as female sexuality. If you're exclusively homo or hetero, then the relevant parts of your brain (and potentially others) are fully feminized or masculinized and there's nothing you can do about that. If there's a hodgepodge, or something in-between, maybe you can lean on the inferior / shadow side of your bisexuality and manage to fool yourself and others but that's not actually curing any underlying condition that the church wants to pathologize. I think the best thing gays can do is accept. Be kind to yourself, accept that your life is going to have some more challenges. Some people are born dyslexic, it doesn't mean they don't try to live the best lives they can with the limitations they've got. And if you don't experience it as a limitation, then all the better. I'm not suggesting 'pride' or other celebrations, but radical self-acceptance really rocks.
You know, I can accept this mindset. I wish everyone in the pro-gay camp had what you have, the ability to be nuanced and accept that it's not a desirable condition, but something you may have to live with. I'm 100% on board with that message, as long as society still values marriage, children, and monogamy, and accepts it as the 'ideal' that maybe can't always be reached but should be the gold standard. What I can't accept is the nonsense about how gay is great and straight is boring and we need to convince more people to try it out, and oh look, let's have entire holiday months dedicated to making sure five year olds know what pegging is.
@@Wasserbienchen Yeah it's definitely not "ideal" to not be able to have kids with the person you want to be with, or to raise kids without a fully rounded out balance of the masculine and feminine. I think the more recent attempts at normalization are extreme, partly motivated from a place of pain for many, and partly by people who get a sense of meaning out of the 'fight' if you will. It's worth trying to bear in mind that even though these types are highly visible and have managed to get behind some hefty levers, that many (perhaps most) gay people just want to be left alone and to not be treated poorly. I know many gays who dislike pride, especially the risqué aspects of it.
Many ex homosexuals continue to show effeminate behaviour and speech patterns because that’s how they developed to be. You can’t just switch it off and pretend to sound like and behave like a masculine man once you change your sexuality as an effeminate man. I have seen other interviews with this guy. I couldn’t believe it is him because he sounds less gay in this interview.
@@Wasserbienchen Accepting one's homosexuality or lesbian identity can be a challenging situation, especially during youth, but the same feeling recurs throughout life. These days, it’s not very difficult for others to accept, and I’ve never personally experienced homophobia from outsiders. However, as a young person, I even hated my friends talking about homosexuality and got really angry, but now I’ve been in a lesbian relationship for 15 years. I do not support the current Pride movement because of everything else that has been mixed into it (fetishes, sex work, children), but I get the reason why Pride exists is that the same shame of living differently and being “wrong” is present throughout life. I don’t believe any gay person thinks it’s wrong or boring to be straight, we all wanted to be straight and normal. It's very painfull experience to realise you are just not like everyone else. Nor does anyone really try to "convert" someone to being gay. It’s just as impossible as converting someone to being straight. I believe children should be told that gay people exist and that it’s okay (if only for the sake of gay parents and relatives). Religions shouldn’t interfere with this kind of matter or any politics whatsoever.
Same-sex attraction used to be considered a paraphilia, a set of disordered sexual behaviour. It seems to me that after it gained mainstream acceptance, gradually the idea of disordered sexual behaviour like sadism, masochism, sexual violence and all other fetishes began to be swept under the rug as completely normal, in the mainstream. On its own, if you don't have religious concerns, homosexuality is not harmful (or at least you're not allowed to think deeply about that assertion). But does nobody else see a kind of progression in acceptance of all this?
In my opinion from the people I know who are gay and women they told me that they were all abused sexually as a child so the confusion starts there some don’t remember much but little by little the parts come back I believe because it’s trauma and the brain does that to protect them this is why I tell the mother or soon to be mothers stay at home with your children protect them raise them yourself be the good guidance for them
I have not been abused and I am SSA. However I think that probably when I was little I would have preferred to be a woman, because I felt like they had more advantages
@@Kinesiology411 I agree too I know several gay men and every single one had been SA'd as a child I (a woman) who, while mostly in straight relationships and being a mother, was SSA'd from quite young until I found Jesus again, every desire I had towards women has completely left me now (and yes, I was abused as a child also)
None that they’ve mentioned to you. People with same sex attraction block that truth because it hurts them to acknowledge that it’s not the way they’re supposed to be.
@@the-lord-is-my-shepardd Nah, sorry to break it to you, but not all people who are gay have experienced any kind of trauma. At least not trauma that would run the risk of altering ones sexual orientation. Speaking for myself, I was never assaulted, both parents in the household, grew up in a religious household (Jehovah Witness) and I'm still a lesbian. The only trauma I've had is emotional trauma at the hands of my mother because I was gay, which of course went against her religious beliefs. But even then, she was loving and when I fell on my face financially during college, her door was always open despite her not approving of my sexuality. So, all in all , I would say I've had a good life, but I'm still homosexual.
@ being a victim from that, thinking I was like that growing up, studying psychology, and science ! I’m not trying to affend it’s not insult it’s just the truth u can either believe it or not. Take care.
Lust is lust, same sex attraction is just a disordered relationship with Gods plan for human sexuality. The answer to it is the same as any sin, realization that this life is not about your desires.
@@LemonJuice516 I’m not trying to control anyone God gives everyone a free will they can follow His commandments or be damned. I’m merely pointing out the fact that sin is always a choice where one puts their desires above Gods laws.
The same reason disabilities and abnormal development is common amongst all species. The environment can often cause these problems. Pollution, chemical exposure, unhealthy mothers. The list is long, abuse is not the only factor.
Strangely enough I found celibacy on my own, after beginning my spiritual journey. I was abused beginning at 4, became terrified of men at an early age. Decided to be lesbian at 14 because I could finally express sexuality without it feeling gross. It took four years to accept being gay, then I had to leave the church to do so. Over there years I went on to identifying as a bisexual to being a lesbian and hiding my attraction to men ( mostly from myself by lying to everyone and saying I was lesbian) due to that fear. Finally, when I began a path that was spiritual and involved integration I was forced to admit the lie to myself. I spent a few years contemplating that and then stopped wanting to be with women. I now don't date and I have considered being with men. But the fear gets in the way. So I remain celibate. Porn really is a huge drain on one's health. Mental, spiritual, physical. It's easier to get relief but it deprives one of the natural drive to find someone. To heal. Instant gratification with maybe that retraumatizing interest can be addictive and destructive. It's marketed as healthy these days too. But morally it feels antithesis to who I am now. At least supporting it as an industry does. I am not Christian but I find OF abhorrent. I find prostitution alarmingly rife with abuse and exploitation. And spiritually sending out sexual energy to a machine like corporation seems like offering your power to an unknown god. It's ...just not for me anymore. But I have used it to assuage the loneliness. I wish there was another way. I have worked on healing the trauma for over a decade now, but it seems like a never ending journey. I would love to be in love and have someone who is home. But I don't want to be disgusted by the sexual side of the relationship. That sounds awful and unfair to my partner and I worry engaging in sex with men (maybe anyone) would just be adding more trauma. I'm terrified of being abused again. It's why I'm alone.
I really appreciated how well you articulated your situation 🙂, most people can't seem to ✍️ write out their thoughts coherently. I think you will find healing ☺️ by the will of God Almighty. Don't give up. Try to read the Quran, it's not a lengthy book, you will find some answers there also. Peace come from our Creator.
I am bisexual. I don't act on it due to religious beliefs. It is probably both. There are probably a host of factors (both nature and nuture) that contribute towards homosexuality and bisexuality. I would say that most of us-at least in my personal experiences-did not have good relationships with our fathers. In my case, I still want to marry a woman. The only way I can do this is by not telling her I am attracted to both genders.
"The only way I can do this is by not telling her I am attracted to both genders." Why? Telling her is the good and honest thing to do and a woman who loves you will take you with your imperfections and struggles.
@Emled329 Good question. I have never met a straight woman who would entertain the idea of courtship with a bisexual man. I have explained to them that I don't act on my same-sex attractions due to my Christian faith. They don't care. To them, I am just as bad as a guy who goes to bath houses. They get to say they are a "new creation" in Christ-but apparently I don't get that same understanding. To be honest, I have only gotten bad reactions from women-never from men (regardless of whether they were straight, gay or bi). Ironically, this is despite living in a conservative community.
If you don't tell a woman the truth, she will find out the truth. It could be days, weeks, years, even decades. But she will find out. When she finds out you lied/kept something from her, especially something as important as that, she will never trust you again.
@Alexander44665 there's someone out there for you. I am happily married but a man being attracted to men and women wouldn't cause me to not wanna be in a relationship with him. If he were only attracted to men I wouldn't entertain it because I want my husband to be attracted to me, but them being attracted to men and women wouldn't be a problem as long as they work to only have eyes for me. Just like men can resist cheating on their wives with other women, bisexual men can resist cheating on their wives with other men. Don't lose hope!!
I am a conservative Catholic with SSA. I suffer from loneliness and isolation, one reason I sought the Church was to meet my peers who I would think be better quality people than meeting people in bars and clubs! You know how many friends I have from Church after all I have tried? 0! Most people my age despite all of their “love for Jesus” don’t give a damn about others, including Jesus! Pathetic! Here’s the thing! We have 8 billion people on this planet and we have a loneliness pandemic! How the freakin’ heck does that happen?????? On yeah! Narcissism! I am sorry but the Church should put aside its obsession with who people love and should encourage people to love others! Start sitting down with my generation and teach them about basic social skills and etiquette! Their parents and schools haven’t taught them anything of the sort. I bear all of the emotional scars both inside and outside of the Church from them! Evidently millennial and gen z Catholics, many of whom identify with traditionalists, haven’t quite gotten Jesus’ memo on “love thy neighbor” yet! Tell you the truth the gays haven’t either! One thing religious people and gays have in common…endless hypocrisy! 🤔 I’ve got an idea! Maybe, just maybe the Church start teaching that “love thy neighbor” stuff Jesus was talking about???? Maybe we wouldn’t have so much narcissism and loneliness today?
@@C.S.S.M.L..God bless you brother! We’re in the same boat! I have come to the conclusion that the Church and religion in general should bring people together. And to teach love one another! Men, gay, bi, and straight, need this! Women have done a better job. Men suck badly at it! Men have been drilled to be robotic and suppress emotions to be “masculine!” This has led many men to be sociopaths and/or suicidal! We need to rethink our entire concepts of interpersonal relationships! There’s nothing wrong with SSA, same sex affection, physical and emotional intimacy! Believe me! Men and society would be far better off! Anybody who says otherwise, is not of God or Christ but from the lowest pits of Hell! Better to love one another than to murder, harm, screw, and ignore others!
I'm in the same boat as you. Those other people are wounded also. All the "friends" I met at church are significantly unwell themselves. The church is for the wounded and broken. Nurture your friendship with Jesus Christ. Mental prayer, contemplation, retreats and mass. God is seeking a deeper relationship with you. Seek Him, the rest will come in His perfect timing.
With all due respect you sound very self absorbed. Try seeing what you can do FOR other's and this will bring the joy and connection that is missing in your life.
Im gay , i love my family i would vote for trunp if i was in the us, i dint have trauma when i was yough and still got no attraction to women . I can understand that sone confuse human could think they are gay , i dont understand the problem of been gay . I can live and be happy
You block your trauma when it happens at a young age. It’s your brain taking care of yourself to forget about traumatic experiences. It doesn’t have to be sexual it could also be lack of fatherhood or motherhood in your life.
@@the-lord-is-my-shepardd Our most vivid memories are ones of trauma no matter the age. Yes, we cherish the good memories but its mostly the feelings we recall, less so the events. The mind holds on better to bad ones because they help us remember what can pose a danger to us. It's a survival mechanism found in all living things. Homosexuality is found in those who did not endure any of the cliché reasons such as trauma (sexual and non alike), and one or both parents absent from the household. The rate of homosexuality isn't any higher in countries that notoriously abuse children.
@@the-lord-is-my-shepardd as trauma can make you go christian cause a priest said the right thing at the right time at your weakest moment ? I was super scared of been gay back in the day i woulnd have told anyone till i was 100% sure at 20 years old , i dont say that life cant help you finding it sooner , thing happen but in general i have got a pretty normal life . saying homosexuality is 100% trauma and nothing else is an easy scapegoat for religion then we dont have to think more about it . why should i make a women live an unloved marrigage just because you think gays are wrong for me thats a sin worst then a loving gay couple (that is if love of 2 same gender is a sin in your head ).
@ From a psychological and scientific perspective, sexual orientation is influenced by a complex interplay of biological, genetic, hormonal, and environmental factors. trauma or negative experiences related to one's sexual identity may shape someone's personal journey or how they come to understand and express their sexuality. Hopefully that’s not ur case but I’m just saying sex is meant for a man and a women to have a child 2 women and 2 men’s having sex can’t create a child nothing will come out of that intercourxe so it’s just obvious that it’s not meant to be that way. I’m not judging tho idc honestly and Jesus doesn’t care either he loves us all no matter what💕
@@the-lord-is-my-shepardd its good to not judge , i got 3 christian in my family ( mother side) telling us we will burn in hell and they are fine whit that . Theres evil in both camp and do beleive if a god really created us , he coulnd have created hell even for the most evil there is . I wish good to everyone even if i disagree whit them . If christianity help you to be a better person then im happy about that . I still think i was born this way and will love myself . I just dont beleive trauma is the answer, even in the wild theres gay animal .
Sex, for humans, requires a male organ and female organ. Without both interacting as they were designed to with the other, sex does not occur. Therefore, human sexuality is always heterosexual. It cannot be other than this. The words homosexual, bisexual, etc. are therefore misnomers where humans are concerned. This also means there can be no sexual consummation with any humans who are not male and female. All of this is simple, biological fact. Desires that are contrary to biology are disordered desires. These can mimic sexual desire and lead to behavior that mimics sexual union, but involve no actual sex between the two because it is simply impossible for them to have sex. Love requires truth and all denials of the truth are unloving and lead to harm for individuals and to society if the falsehoods become widespread beliefs which are untrue. It will lead to other errors in fact, as it has in our culture, because spiritual essence has been separated from identity, leading to other identity claims that allow for this separation of quiddity and self. Trans identity and the abuses of children, including the mutilation of their bodies is one of the horrific consequences of the error that our essence is not tied to our body. The soul is the form of the body. This theological truth prevents the error and restores us to truth. Physical identity cannot be divorced from spiritual identity, and that Christian belief kept our society from the errors that contradict reality and are now causing our children harm. To love those whose identity is based on false identity beliefs requires a challenge to their belief and restoration of health in body, mind, and spirit.
I agree with you except sex doesn’t occur outside of heterosexuals. It does although that’s not what the body is designed for. I feel like that’s why they have diseases and other issues from living that lifestyle.
@@jhanecox672they cannot engage in copulary sex. They can do things equatable to masterbatory acts with another member of the same sex. The term sex is an evolved term derived from sexual intercourse with it's scope expanded upon as conversations around intimacy became more commonplace.
Homophobia and outdated religion is REAL. Being gay has nothing to do with abuse and trauma. Yes many people from straight and gay communities have been abused. I would argue many people have been victimized due to being different. However, abuse does not cause someone to be samesex attracted. There are numerous studies debunking this belief. Why is the religious right still so obsessed with homosexuality? Let people pursue their happiness and thrive in this country.
Except it is a factor for many gay men? Trauma can 100% lead you into a homosexual lifestyle and you would rarely know it. Just like pedophile victims go on to become pedophiles themselves. Again, this does not apply to all people but to outright deny it happens is stupidity.
I've never heard this topic discussed this way before. Michael is so insightful and the research he cites is eye opening. I imagine the sensitivity he recalls having as a boy is probably the key that lets him attune with and unlock the pain that many men are going through. Great voice as well. Just noticed the album is already available on his website. I definitely encourage everyone to check it out.
The Bible never said gay love, or same sex attraction, doesn't exist. It also never forbade gay love. It forbade gay sex. Never once does it say anything about men loving other men, or women loving other women. It simply forbade LAYING with a man as a man would a woman. You people continually misread the Bible, it does not forbid or condemn same sex attraction. The reason why the bible likely forbids gay sex is for the same reason it forbids masturbation or fornication; the bible forbids ANY form of sexual stimulation if it is not FOR procreation. The passages in scripture about gay sex do not in any way prohibit same sex love or attraction and never once says same sex attraction or homosexuality is a sin.
And I guess you will say the Bible mentions 'adultery' only 49 times as being a terrible sin. Why did God ask Lot to 'lay' down with his own daughters? What was God thinking? Did Lot experience any 'trauma' as a kid? Probably not!
I’m a believer that experience is the best teacher, albeit the most brutal. From experience, I know the Father Wound is a huge factor. It is real and painful and not a myth. If boys have a dad who is emotionally absent and emotionally abusive and a poor male role model, the results are disastrous.
Exactly, the APA removed it from "disorders" in 1975. Someone didn't do his homework and his license should be removed. God bless you because the law may not...
When Catholics describe same sex attraction as inherently disordered, we are talking about the moral order. It's pretty straightforward and can be discerned through reason. God designed sex to be procreative and I think this should be obvious based on our biology: the purpose of sperm and ova are for procreation. Same sex sex separates the sex act from this purpose, and same sex attraction is not oriented towards God's designs for how we procreate. When we deny the procreative purpose of sex, all sorts of bad things happen, and we see the damage throughout society now that a lot of people act as if sex is primarily for pleasure. I would also add that anal sex is very unhealthy : penises were not designed to go in butts, they were designed to go in vaginas.
@@jayman7774 Homosexuality is found across nature and co-exists perfectly. Homosexual couples are common in nature. Your statement is scientifically wrong and dishonest. Aren't you ashamed?
"Disordered" doesn't mean 'mental disorder.' "Disordered" refers to "different than the 'natural ordering' of sexual intercouse for reproduction." I would prefer that the Church change this wording to be more clear because it is so often confused with mental health vocabulary.
They ‘can’ in theory. But their reverence of and for Mary is often actually worshipping her. They believe for instance she was a perpetual virgin, she was sinless and they believe in her bodily ascension. They believe in works in order to be saved in addition of Christ’s work and also believe in transubstantiation (the bread and wine physically become the body and blood of Jesus). The pope(s) are problematic in many ways and much more could be said. Dr James White once said many Catholics will be saved ‘in spite of’ catholicism and not because of it.
@@thytruth813lol not you misinforming! It’s actually because western Protestant christians have hijacked the name Christians and have excluded Catholics and by extension The Orthodox from it (despite these two being the first Christians). Also, no we don’t worship Mary and you can’t find an official Church document condoning a sin like that.
Catholics ARE Christians. The Catholic Church is one of the early born Christian churches, it was born in the course of the first centuries after Christ. Christians are all the believers in the Trinity and the incarnation of God in Jesus, then they divided into many churches and creeds
@@thytruth813I don't know who this James White is. He isn't certainly a Father of the Church. The Catholic religion is the only true faith. With its authority, it has defined the canon of Scripture and it alone is the pillar and support of truth, which can authentically interpret the texts. The first Christians venerated the relics of the martyrs and celebrated Mass on their tombs, they resorted to their prayers and had sacred representations, as did the ancient Jews, this is attested from the 2nd century, we have the catacombs. The Saints of the first centuries, including Ignatius of Antioch, a disciple of the Apostle John, teach that bread and wine are transformed into the body and blood of Christ. Study, read texts and you will stop being a Protestant.
I think because Catholics have defined teachings in these areas. He references things like councils, encyclicals, the catechism, etc. He uses a lot of terminology that is common in Catholic theological teaching and spiritual life (spiritual direction, sacramental life, etc).
Culture must play a large roll. For most of human history life was very different, sleeping arrangements were different, children were not crammed into schools, etc.
Why only focus on gays? Jesus stated that you one must repent of ALL SINS not just certain sins. Go read your bibles people as no where in the bible mentions gay gene or other nonsense. To the reader of this comment I encourage you to read the bible and stop watching nonsense videos that do not have biblical backing. Repent of ALL SINS if you TRULY want to follow christ. Many false christians out there saying false non biblical things. Read your bible stop watching youtube.
Acceptance. Being accepted, acknowledged. The perception of being "important" to someone (and/or others). In this day and age in which "societal norms" vilify men in so many ways. The rejection of men and manhood that result from that vilification. Is it any wonder so many young boys and men are found looking for some warmth and affection from fellow human beings who won't be judgemental about their masculinity or their physical features etc? & When humans find common issues in life they start to bond, as the pain and frustrations are shared, which brings about a type of bond. Then add to that the sick predators who take advantage of these pains and frustrations, the anger, resentment and all the other negative emotional scars of these young men. This is a cocktail for anything, let alone relationships that are not heterosexual. Society as we know it has always been very judgemental, however since the 1960's, it seems that morality has been inverted to the point where what is GOoD has been classed as bad/evil and what is bad/evil has been deemed as good, which has resulted in a society that would rather redefine and invert definitions to avoid all the challenges morality brings with it. There is no "easy" path to GOoD and the current "I want it all and I want it now" generation will redefine anything to avoid any of the negativity that comes with the challenges of life. Rejecting God is easier than trying to live a GOoD moral life. "Feeling important" seems to matter more in this world today than anything stated in The Holy Bible. Just look around on social media, all the "attention seeking" the never ending quest for recognition and acceptance. Is it any wonder that in that type of society with practically no moral norms (rejecting/undermining GOoD morals) with a naturalistic (satanic/humanistic) norm of "you are your own god" and you set your own definition of moral vs immoral all based on your "feelings" and in which truth/facts simply don't matter, you get the point, is it any wonder that we see so many men and women, boys and girls seeking anything that will give them what they are indoctrinated into wanting? Be it sexual, emotional, financial.etc & Then top all this off with the new societal norms of "eternal victimhood". Mummy I want that toy. NO. Child calls social services and claims victimhood! Child tells auntie and she calls social services and accuses sister/brother of child abuse. It can't end well.
I‘ve seen the becket cook show about this topic and i‘m sooo interested as i am a mother of a babyboy and just in general… i feel like this topic is so important and i‘m excited to listen to this video now as well😌
Thirty years ago I converted to Catholicism. Since I'm gay I chose to be celibate because I thought it was God's will. Daily Mass, daily Rosary, daily Bible reading, weekly Confession. Now in my later years of life, I have nothing to show for it. I am no new creation, nothing old has passed away, nothing has become new. I'm still just as gay as I ever was. My advice: If you are gay, live your life. Don't waste your life like I did.
Catholics worship Lucifer. Listen to THEIR OWN MASS, where they sing, Lucifer dawning his creation, Christ his son. The Vatican is in the shape of a serpent wearing a crown with a forked tongue sidewalk. VATICAN means DIVINING SERPENT.
I wish this was top comment. I don't believe the people in this interview are doing this out of good faith or intellectual honesty. Just agenda pushing and endorsing witchdoctors and junk science.
Nothing to show for remaining chaste? You have avoided committing mortal sin. By “live your life”, do you mean “go ahead and engage in sodomy and lesbianism”?
You are still the same because we are saved by grace through faith not by works. You were not delivered from that demonic spirit because mass,rosary etc are powerless. They are man made rituals and cannot break that stronghold. This is the truth. Not by might nor by power but my Spirit says the Lord
This is so important and helped me more than you can imagine! I've been doing this kind of integrative therapy and it has been LIFE CHANGING. But my 'self' is still flickering.
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ur disgusting.
SSA is a fraud. Sin is attractive to some. But sin is unnatural.
Most gays I've met were sexually molested by there dad's, there dad's were sexually molested by there dad's or a close male relative. In most cases I've ran across, it appears to be a generational thing.
@@Dennis-d1p stop with the lies. You don't know any gay people or victims of child abuse.
@dondrejames1679 I know 4 gay dudes. and all four told me the same story- thier dad's sexually molested them as baby's, toddlers, ect. It's not normal for a dad to do that, so I figure thier dad's experienced the same thing. This is in Springfield, MO. Appalachian mts folks and Ozark folks both have history's of incest or child sex in familys. Goes back to isolation, 100 to 200 yrs ago. No cars, no electricity, no birth control so 9 to 15 kids common. No way out, trapped. But incest and dad's meeting kids still goes on. The bible says be careful what your kids learn, because that's what they become as adults.
And THIS is why we don’t do sleep overs. THIS is why we have all technology in the main room of the house. THIS is why I am the “mean” mom who believes in letting them be little while they still are because so much harm can be done by neglecting, avoiding and rushing them to grow up. Thank you for this.
Good job mom.
You are a great mom, your kids will thank you later. God bless and Our Lady keep you
I heard so much about sleep overs
I went to and hosted many sleepovers, lol. They're not leading to g*y kids. What kind of sleepovers are your kids asking for exactly, lol??
I agree. I won't let my daughter do sleepovers. There is no reason your child needs to sleep somewhere you can't protect them. Sleep is your most vulnerable state in a 24 hour period. I never understood why you would allow your kids to sleep at another family's home. There's no reason for it. Hanging out during daylight hours is good enough.
A lot of children have had trauma due to exposure to things. Children should never be exposed to. I was bisexual in my 20s and not until therapy that specialized in sexual trauma. Did I understand that this attraction was me trying to be closer to my mother who alienated me and the fact that my abuse from three years old to 16 years old by the same family member went ignored. I did not want any men near me because I felt as though all men wanted to do was put things inside of me as a child. 😢 I see this in the feminist movement so much because the fear of men is a real reality for a lot of women who have been abused as little girls and as adults at parties being drunk. Same goes for men who have been abused as children often by a babysitter this is why we have more males that deny revel relationship with women then we do women with males. Women tend to heal better but men go and seek our other males who have been through the same type of trauma and form a personal relationship with them because there’s a familiarity to the abuse. Being in this community for a very long time, I was very confused until I got therapy for my own abuse and realized everybody around me, have been traumatized since they were children and exposed to things they should never be exposed to. Corn with a capital P is the culprit to a lot of sexual dysfunction and confusion for children, especially when adults are handing out magazines back in the day and telling boys at promiscuity is something to be praised when it should be discouraged! The same boys who were praised for sleeping around with multiple girls by their fathers are the same boys who are saying that they want a virgin and a young girl to marry yet they participated in shaping the young girls that they shame! They created this quick fix of sexual promiscuity, instead of love and understanding of women. Thank God for women like Lila Rose.
I recently clicked on a brand new tv show with very famous actors in it, it seemed like a family show. First scene was sex. It's EVERYWHERE, not just where we expect it to be. Be vigilant, parents.
You did it for attention
Men not wanting to date women has nothing to do with trauma from babysitters. Jesus Christ you say you go to therapy crearly its not working. Stop projecting your owns issues and thinking you can about why men do what they do.
@@LemonJuice516 you really understood nothing from this person comment. I personally knew many gay men and they all went through a lot of trauma. It looks like a violent vindictive hateful father, and a submissive complacent mother, creates in effeminate kids a fear of masculinity (to be desired by the mother) mixed with a brutal need to subdue a man (the father). I experienced sexual abuse as a kid as well as a woman, and it messed my brain.
This. Doesn't it look to you that since homosexuality was removed from list of mental conditions any research about the impact of sexual abuse and trauma in early life of homosexuals disappeared? And now it's happening with transexuals too...
I am struggling with this. I think it's because my father was only physically there (sometimes) but was NEVER emotionally involved in our lives. He was insecure, angry, absent, and obsessed with his work. Pray for me to get a confession soon. I truely believe that the Miraculous Medal will save me❤❤ it's already working miracles in my life
It cannot be because your father was not around otherwise I’d be gay and so would nearly 3/4 of African-American men
It can be because One of the fathers in your ancestral line was Doing gay stuff and you’re suffering from a generational curse
But that would not explain The explosion of this generation claiming to be or trying to be Gay
But the education system social media culture all these things are contributing factors they made it seem like it’s like a thing to do to fit in
Majority Bones will do whatever they think is necessary to fit
Way to avoid that the authority of your sin is to fear God more which you should do because he’s coming back momentarily like maybe even today foreal
Crashing the election with His First fruit sELECTions
Hi! If it means anything, I'm praying for you! Thank you for being here. God bless you!
I’m praying for you as well ❤
Prayers for you. 1 Timothy 2:5, you don't need to confess to someone else you can go straight to God through Jesus. Having community and counsel is helpful though but not needed to go to God. Blessings
@@skylarb3815don’t lead others astray
James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power in its effects.
I’m celibate 10 years now. I have deep seated ssa. I identified as Demisexual gay. I’m a Melkite Greek Catholic. It’s difficult but I have discovered my SSA is because of my molestation at 13 by a married man who was in his late 30’s, my father who was abusive, and pornography. Identifying as this has only brought me pain and suffering. I’m glad I left. Pray for me a sinner.
🛐💒
Glory to god for opening your eyes and heart to understand the truth behind your struggle. But remember we are not slaves to sin anymore. We do not need to suffer or surrender to sin for Jesus already beat that battle on the cross for u. Ask him beg him to take it away and he will. It’s all spiritual warfare and the enemy making u think you’re attracted to something you’re actually not. Be as open and vulnerable with god beg him to help you and I promise you when the time is right he will heal you. I struggled with similar thing and many sexual issues due to childhood trauma and glory to god he saved me from that. It is possible I promise. I felt mother Mary bring me to her son and he saved me. I would go to mass and to Chufch and pray with my head on the ground crying begging him to help me but I did it with faith and he healed me. going to daily mass, confession, receiving communion, reading my Bible daily, praying my rosary help keep me grinder. I will pray for you stranger and I promise he will save you from this lie the enemy has put in our heads.
Receiving communion as a catholic literally saved my life. I was a slave to sexual sin but once I started receiving his holy body and blood in the Eucharist I haven’t gone back. He says in John that that is truly his flesh and blood and having his real presence inside on us strengthens us and renews us. Obviously there’s moments where the enemy gives temptations and tries to make me fall but the lord is infinitely stronger and greater then what the enemy tries to put in our head. God bless you ❤
We're all sinners here.
Praying for you brother 🙏🏻
Pornography is a BIG part of this!! I started to sin and look at women in the way I should not. I’m so happy to say I’m not watching pornography and I am no longer “attracted” to women. Praise God. 🙏🏼
Praise God! God bless you, my sister
Well I don’t like pornography all that much, it’s never particularly appealed to me, if anything I just find it a bit boring. So explain me?
Lol! I thought you were a dude confessing to being gay!😂
Anyway, great to know that God helped you through your struggles! Continue to trust in Him and I pray that he blesses you with a great family and a long life!😇
I have been addicted to pornography from a very young age. I have been delivered recently and it feels amazing. Porn destroys souls. It is absolutely vile and retched thing. I pray for all to be delivered of it!
@@Gatheist being gay is so so so normal. God simply asks us not to act on those attractions. If it weren't prevalent, there wouldn't be any reason to have a rule against it. It doesn't matter "what made" someone gay. It's a matter of loving God more than you love anything else. Jesus Loves you so so so much. He knows your suffering and suffers along side you. He sacrificed Himeself for you and rose again from the grave to show you that you are not alone and if you put your trust in Him, He will always take care of you. If Jesus really is who He says He is, He is reliable and trustworthy. All we have to do is ask for His help and seek truth at all costs.
I’m SO HAPPY to hear Catholics talking about EMDR. It is truly a gift from God! It helped me heal enough to find Jesus again after living as a confused and depressed Atheist for years. Please look into it if you’re needing help healing from something you can’t seem to get past.
EMDR???
Eye movement desensitization therapy@@gustavomora7593
@@gustavomora7593 Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Basically, this is a combination of sights and sounds that are listened to and watched while the person is re-experiencing a trauma or thought they want to be extinguished. YES, it works. In fact, it is considered the "gold standard" for vets re-experiencing war trauma. It works much faster than talk therapy alone. How do I know? I am an MSW and have also gone through this therapy myself as I had to let go of an abusive ex which was making me hypervigilant. I plan to take this training soon. I'm a School Social Worker and Therapist.
@@gustavomora7593 therapy by eye movement. You can do it with a therapist or at home with a big screen.
@gustavomora7593 7 day coffee
Praying for our nation today & praying for all the people struggling with this.
Amen. Thank you for tuning into the podcast this morning
The gay people i've met and talked to generally identify some form of trauma or rejection.
I pray for straight men because they struggle with alimony and child support.
I don’t know a single gay person (and I know a lot because I’m from WA state) that hasn’t gone through some sort of trauma
Yep. Same thing with trans. Either they experienced a real childhood event that traumatized them or they have a proclivity to be more sensitive so life struggles impacted them differently.
No liberal from WA is free from trauma ;-;
@sophiagomez5619 so true but I'm a nevadan conservative and I'd say no conservative in Nevada is free from trauma 😂
Same. I've worked in fields where they are very prevalent. Everyone of them had an sa story. And alot of them "preyed" on straight people. Trying to convert them. Turns out constant flirting and praise will get weak people to try whatever you want.
I don't know any single straight person that hasn't gone through some sort of trauma
My son is gay, trans - believes he is non-binary and I don't know how to help him. I know there had to be trauma in his childhood, but I don't know the extent. I tried to guide him towards Jesus, but feel like everything I did after a certain point just drove him further away. Please pray for him, and pray that I can be a better father that points him to Jesus and our Heavenly Father.
How old is he? It's entirely possible he wasn't traumatized, but that he is indoctrinated. The peer pressure on kids now to embrace this is out of control. It makes Scientology look like Romper Room.
Look, the trans stuff will likely go away. Just calm down. It's a big issue in society. But the gay component is likely just him being him. Please don't make his life terrible.
@ I’m praying the trans stuff goes away, but there is an obsession and/or compulsion to get bottom surgery.
@fritzco55 that would be a horrible mistake. Sounds like gender dysphoria is very strong. Not sure of his age, but usually by late teens these things subside.
@@fritzco55 hopefully that will be illegal in every state shortly.
I am gay, and I had the most idyllic parents [mother AND father], childhood & life growing up. Affluence, devoted parents, two younger brothers, top-tier education for everyone, sports, church, plenty of male friends and masculine influence to this day… I could go on and on. A true “Beaver Cleaver” existence, and was unquestionably born gay. And God did *NOT* make a mistake with me. 👌💪
PS: *EVERYONE* has trauma. Also, most people who have told me about their traumas and abuses are straight; just like most of the population is straight. Always be open to new information, but take it all with a grain of salt. False [and potentially false] equivalencies, whether conscious or unconscious, are often made to suit narratives.
No one is born with a sexual tendency
@@rositag77 Okay, but have you considered that being gay isn’t 100% about sex? Kinda like how being straight isn’t 100% about sex.
@@TheSparky777I know this and the therapist also explains it. Sexual attraction is influenced by attachment bonding with parents, external interference such as abuse, and a combination of 28% genetic predisposition (not 100% as the lgbt claim 🤐). Factors that can trigger same-sex attraction include pornography, negative experiences with the peer group (particularly of one's own sex).
There are no gay or straight children because children are not sexually active. Thus, a difference must be made between gay and homosexual: the gay or lesbian person is that person who constructs his or her identity from his or her sexuality and arises purely in social political activism. The homosexual, on the other hand, is a person who is sexually and sentimentally oriented toward the same sex. The homosexual does not necessarily practice homosexual acts.The homosexual might decide not to be part of gay/lesbian activism and might not attend the pride festival.
Glad to read this. Don't let this internalized homophobia and repressive religion hold you back from being proud of yourself and the way that you express love
@@rositag77 It’s an orientation; a state of being. Please educate yourself more fully; especially if you are going to be essentially attacking someone regarding things about which you quite clearly know absolutely nothing. None of those described life situations apply to me in any way, as I stated very thoughtfully. I’m not here to argue. Please do not respond. THANKS!
Omg I’m so glad I stumbled upon this video because I had prayed to God to help me find good media, specifically music that I could share with my kids that was good, healthy and edifying for when I have kids and finding a Catholic therapist that could help me with my issues concerning sexuality as a result of my sexual abuse as a child and I’m so glad that He answered my prayer, I’m so thankful
Great take on such a sensitive topic!❤ It gave me hope, not only that good therapist exists, but that healing from this compulsions is possible
This was a beautiful episode!! These interviews that cover the complications of family relations and help me as a mother know how to love my children well in a chaotic world are my absolute favorite!!
Thank you listening ❤
I think we need to start looking at food, so full of hormones, that are probably messing with our health and hormone balance.
@@LilySage-mf7ufno its not, did you even hear the podcast?
All the hormones in food definitely add to kids going unnaturally through puberty earlier.
@@milagroscapomasi8525 the podcast is wrong if they're not acknowledging the hormones in food contributing to the issue. Girls menstruating at 9 or 10 years old is insane.
I actually think one day people will understand just how big of a role food plays. In many health problems as well. When i see all the junk food in stores i think just because it is addable does not mean we should eat it. And they market it to kids to get them hooked young.
endocrine disruptors are probably near impossible to avoid
This is excellent and a very important conversation.
For those who do not wish to live a SSA lifestyle, there must be an alternative narrative offered. Thanks Lila Rose.
Dr. Nicolosi had a clinic in CA, until Conversion Therapy was banned. He has passed away but his children worked with him. I think they moved their clinic to Florida.
there is, it's chastity + trauma therapy, 12 step groups, etc. And yes, indeed. Certainly important conversation...time to get into MEAT! Shallow is delusional.
I’m a therapist working in this area with individuals experiencing unwanted same-sex attraction. You’re doing great work, Michael. You’re onto something significant. 💯
Thank you for featuring this guest, Lila Rose. 👏🏼
wow!!! here In Canada i CANNOT find a therapist like that sadly :(
@@olennnnnaMay God help and blame you 🙏❤️
Do you know any therapists in Italy?
God bless you!!! We need more therapists like you. 🤍
@@olennnnna they made it illegal in Canada like 6 years ago. They banned any kind of “conversion therapy”.
I have to say, until I fixed my wounds, healed mentally and spiritually, I was either attracted to women, or would attract men who are also deeply wounded. At one point I stopped all dating/relationships and focused on growth, healing, also returned to my faith. Took years, but life eventually brought me together with a wonderful man who is the complete opposite..... Our life experiences shape us, so they also shape our attraction.
@@vtop1c You did the right thing. God bless you, my friend
My experience exactly, except I'm still single, likely will always be so, and perfectly content with that 🤍
Very glad this stuff is actually being discussed again. The lie about the origins of same-sex attraction has dominated our conversation and we need to get back to the truth.
My cousin is a female who struggle with SSA. Her father was unable to be present in her life due to icing far away for work. Please pray for her
She's not struggling. She's likely gay. 3 percent of the population.
Guys I appreciate that a lot of people have stories of childhood trauma and are making connections between that and their homosexuality, but please don't make extrapolations that are unjustified. Myself and many other gay people had perfectly decent, loving upbringings in stable households, with a present mother and father who both loved and cared for us, and was was never traumatized or abused. There's no shortage of people who were traumatized as children who grew up to be straight, and in those cases we wouldn't say that their heterosexuality was caused by those experiences. This is a complicated area, we can't make broad-sweeping generalizations about all gay people. There is always the risk of viewing other people through the prism of your own experience. If you have a personal story to tell, tell it, but don't apply inappropriate extrapolations from it to people you don't even know. The experiences of gay people who can't link their sexuality to abuse/trauma is also real and valid.
Keep in mind, homosexuality has also been observed in over 1000 species of animals, and some of them include pair bonds - just look up Sphen and Magic, the same-sex penguin pair from Sydney Aquarium. Now, I'm not suggesting we anthropomorphize animals but it is fair to say there are deep continuities that run throughout the animal kingdom. We wouldn't seriously start linking cases of animal homosexuality to trauma? Let's tread carefully and gently in this area before making bold, declarative statements, thinking we can speak for everyone. One can only speak for oneself.
I'm a black man who grew up in my matriarchal community. I resonate heavy with alot of your experiences & examples, esp @34:30 where you dont feel like an affirmed man (or normal one) when the media and community around you only affirms one Archetype of masculinity and effectively disregards or shuns the others (the intelligent class/nerds or anyone a bit more alternative in view and expression). So it was either become what people (including my mother) wants or sink.
I literally didnt think I was a real man. And encountered many obstacles to connect with peers and embrace my uniqueness as an equally valid but different archetype worthy of respect and affirmation.
It's interesting hearing ones perspective who has their father in their lives consistently and still encountered these types of issues.
Thank you for this broadcast as I work to improve my life in a way that reflects my more traditional and spiritual values Ive always sought.
His path is a similar path of my late husband except he asked his parents to change schools in early high school after suffering from bullying. That change made a huge difference in his life because this school was a smaller private school that celebrated the arts as much as sports. When I met him I thought he was a wonderful sensitive man who loved the arts. Very interesting conversation. Michael is very knowledgeable. ❤
I came out as lesbian my senior year of high school, and had spent the prior 2 years trying to figure out my sexuality. Im now 28, and ive started to question the origin of these feelings. As i get older my understanding of my sexuality has shifted and after 10 years of only dating women, im interested in dating men, finding a husband and having babies. As a teen i felt closeted with my feelings of same sex attraction. Ironically, I feel closeted with these new feelings. Now if i speak out loud my thoughts about homosexuality, ill be called a bigot! I dont feel like i have anyone to talk to about it. Therapists are trained to affirm, so i will be labeled as having internalized homophobia and professionals will try to help me accept it about myself. Im not religious, but i find myself seeking out these stories of "ex gay" testimonies to try to understand myself more. Its a bizarre experience and i feel very alone in it.
I relate to a lot of what he shared about attachment and exposure to sex/porn too early. Growing up my mom was highly critical of me, my dad was inconsistent with his moods. There was always conflict. As far as gender expression, mom treated me like a little doll and I wasn't allowed to have a voice about how I expressed myself with hair or clothes. I didn't feel girly like the other kids, but I wanted to. I wasn't supported in building connections with my female peers. by the time my mom got her stage 4 terminal cancer diagnosis, I was knee deep in preteen rage at her. I had to swallow all of that to be her caregiver, and then was left with a huge hole in my life where my mother should have been. My father struggled with mental illness, especially after, and I ended up in foster care placed with one aunt and then the other. Both were highly critical and I experienced narcissistic abuse. Behind the scenes I had secretly found p orn on my older brother's computer at 10 years old. I found books that talked in detail, and I found my mother's smut erotica books. After my mom passed and my father's abuse was turned on me, i dated the first boy who gave me attention. He further exposed me to p orn, and a lot of what we did was not consensual. Not his fault, instead of speaking up, I disassociated. My aunts shamed me for that relationship and I grew up through high school not feeling womanly enough, not feeling like a man would ever actually want me or be happy with me due to my lack of curves and looking much younger than I am, according to my critical aunts.
I'm now realizing that's not true and I'm healing my understanding of my own femininity. I need to heal into feeling like I am complete as a woman, and then a beautiful, healthy masculine man will see me as exactly what he desires.
I would be glad to lend a listening ear. I am great a listening and being able to see all sides of a situation.
As much as i want to be open, it's hard to watch for me as a gay man. For me I never had a choice that's for sure. I actualy don't think there was anything that traumatic in my childhood that caused it but hell knows what's considered a trauma nowdays. Maybe I'm genetical idk but tbh idc either. It's not something you can change. Those who can change or had some level of choice must have been on the spectrum of bisexuality in the first place in my opinion. I think a lot of people are bisexual or as you said have a level of fluidity in their sexuality but that's not true for everyone. Bisexuality also still could be genetical and more likely even more hard to detect. The other problem with bisexuality is that they pretty much can develop a preference and turn into full gay or straight and I guess that's what you are actualy talking about. You basically don't want bisexuals to turn gay.
I also want to point out that there were researches about that the homosexual brain works differently or that there are even physical traits, slight differences in face structure for homosexuals. The first thing I thought when I saw Michael that he must be gay/bi just by looking at him and then he started to talk about his same-sex attraction. It is what it is and I'm not saying it because I have any intention to drag him down or something but I literally see it on him.
There are also lots of moral questions about this whole topic too. If there would be an actual cure and people like Michael wants to be "cured" then I won't stop you but it has to be the individual's choice and that includes children. Same for conversion therapies. If a child wants it themselves, that's okay but if the parents force it those parents are monsters sorry.
I have two sons who are now grown men-both successful professionals. Neither of my kids were abused, sexually or otherwise, but my one son is gay. This son was different from the womb: he kicked very gently compared to his brother. He was always very sweet and caring and liked to bake more than roughhouse. He had more female friends from toddlerhood on. I truly believe he was born gay same as I was born straight and I would never shame him or try to change something so integral to his being. He is a fantastic person and son and he’s in a very happy same sex relationship with a guy who is wonderful.
There is the problem "he had more female friends than male" he should have not been allowed to hang out with girls and adopt their mannerisms. He's a male. And as for bake cookies and such? Do you think men aren't chefs
Sometimes tge abuse goes un iticed by tge parents and the kids are too small to remember.
I know it’s hard as a mother to hear this bc it’s like looking in the mirror and see you did donething wrong and nobidy wants that guilt..
But i also agree with the other commenter… it still seems to have been nuture not nature
SAME HERE! I am exactly the same as your son. Thank you-and my parents-for knowing and recognizing that!!
@@ClaireFrances But yet the motto is let kids be kids? NO! Don't have a double standard. Let your sons or daughters naturally make friends with the same sex AND the opposite sex, do NOT force it because it could create a connection in the child's mind that women are bad or something you should steer clear from. It's called conditioning. By yelling at your child or punishing them for hanging out with females as just friends, it may create a connection in that child's mind that hanging around females (even romantically) equals punishment and arguing and something negative/harmful. Let kids be kids by letting kids play, friending whichever sex (female or male) they want, and explore their own interests (such as sports, art, and baking). Either it will carry on in life or it will blow over.
Don't see the point in this comment. This is a voluntary therapeutic option for those that aren't happy and do have issues. We already know that there is *some* degree of nature in there. There was never a claim that no man can be gay without being abused, just that many are. From personal experience... I know at least five men who have homosexual tendencies primarily thrugh trauma. Three of them primarily want a relationship with women. Being able to have biological children is important to many people... I'm not someone who will die on the hill that homosexuality is morally wrong, but there's clearly more going on than 'it's just a fun, completely normal thing that should never be questioned'.
I'm a teenage boy and I felt it. I have problems with that but I'm sure you can change it for God
May God bless you, help you and keep you!🙏❤
God wants you to be happy :)
Or you could just accept who you are instead of pretending to like girls and one day break a woman's heart because you never loved her.
God wants you to be sanctified and that doesn't mean following what makes you feel happy at the moment "It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality" 1 Thessalonians 4:3
Homosexuality is natural, god loves you no matter if you're straight or gay ❤
amazing episode, thank you Lila and Michael, for having this important conversation. My boys are 6 and 9, and I have worried a lot about raising them right, and approaching sexuality with them at the appropriate age. My husband and I are very protective and do not allow unsupervised screen time, sleepovers, or playdates at homes where we don't know the parents. I agree on all those points you made, and that its so much easier to be proactive rather than having to heal trauma down the line. We must be vigilant and do what we can but ultimately must trust that God is with our children and is able to protect them, and God is able to heal and deliver us from past traumas and hurts. we don't have to stay there! He is so good and always faithful!
Just commercials on TV alone was a lot of programming to lusting and sexualizing everything
Loved unconditionally. Supportive parents. Went to church for all of my life. Affluent upbringing. No rape. No trauma. Well educated. 1 masters, 3 bachelors, 1 associates. Top of 10th of my class. Lots of male friends. Played sports and was the best tennis player in counties. Stilllll gay. Happy that way as well.
SAME!
Lies! You chose it.
@@georgianadarcy9072 So you’re saying that he was straight and then just decided to be attracted to men?
What do you think caused it?
@@georgianadarcy9072this is what homophobic/anti gay straight people tell themselves in order to justify the mistreatment of gays. If you’re anti gay that’s fine, but stop looking for convenient excuses.
As a gay man and an atheist, this should be an interesting watch
Lesbian and same!
Yeah thia guy Is coping unfortunatly
@@BashbekersjiwCoping like craaaazy
Thanks for listening! What did you think of the conversation?
I knew this guy years ago. He was clearly a closeted gay man profoundly struggling with reconciling that with his faith. I’m very sad to see that he’s still struggling so much.
This is an important topic. And for those who are affected by it and seek alternative voices, it is so crucial to be able to find people like this psychologist. Thabk you both for this video.
Love how strong your faith is Michael Gasparro; God bless you for your fortitude and prudence; truth, and light in the darkness. I agree whole heartedly that the Catholic Church needs to realize the need for hands on healing ministry through the sacrament of the "sick"; absolutely necessary for healing of childhood traumas and abuse.
Good morning, Lila! Thank you for having Michael Gasparro on and sharing some of his story. He's been awesome so far! I was in the chat for around 30minutes in, and excited to continue, and you know how you asked in your community post why we listen to the podcast? I'd draw a long arrow to this episode.
And I'm very sorry for anyone who suffered abuse.
If anyone is struggling, please know you are loved, which, I don't know how much this means here but hopefully saying this definition helps bring things more down to earth in case you're like me struggling with cynicism and thinking it's emotional baloney (it's a reason I feel like Nightmare Before Christmas' Jack Skellington excited going "What's this?" with people like you Lila and Father Mike Schmitz being a light in this dark world which it was wonderful to hear him on yesterday's prayer podcast! Thank you for having him since you, Father Mike Schmitz, Trent Horn, and Jimmy Akin are in my Mount Rushmore of all time favorite people I've ever heard on the internet since childhood...Also, Father Ambrose was amazing! Your Easter Episode with him is still my favorite light-filled loving Lila Rose episode, and not just because I like alliteration, and maybe top 5 podcasts of all time from anyone!) but it's sincere-
"To love is to will the good of another."
-St. Thomas Aquinas
And if anyone feels like your heart is breaking, if it means anything, I hope it can give you a little ease to know that in order for your heart to break, you must have love in your heart, which means you have so much love to give, and thank you for being so loving. All life is precious and priceless! Your life matters! No one can be a better you than you, and I believe God loves us far more than we love ourselves and everyone on earth possibly could combined. We have the Lord of the Universe who has seen it all willing the best for us!
I've been praying my Rosary daily for help with purity and chastity. And have been praying to Jesus through the intercession of St. Valentine patron saint of love, young people, and marriage; St. Agatha martyr of purity; St. Mary of Egypt a sex addict turned saint; martyr St. Charles Lwanga; Saint Mary Magdalene patron saint of sexual temptation, people ridiculed for piety, women, penitent sinners, converts, and contemplative life; and St. Augustine of Hippo Doctor of Grace for help to unite our crosses to our Lord Jesus so they can be stepping stones to sanctity to be with Him forever in Heaven.
This is another quote I hope you enjoy-
"Would you like to see God glorified by you? Then rejoice in your brother's progress and you will immediately give glory to God. Because his servant could conquer envy by rejoicing in the merits of others, God will be praised."
-St. John Chrysostom
And hope these are helpful-
Psalm 34:19 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, saves those whose spirit is crushed.
Isaiah 49:15-16 Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you. See, upon the palms of my hands I have engraved you; your walls are ever before me.
1 Corinthians 26-31 Consider your own calling, brothers. Not many of you were wise by human standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. Rather, God chose the foolish of the world to shame the wise, and God chose the weak of the world to shame the strong, and God chose the lowly and despised of the world, those who count for nothing, to reduce to nothing those who are something, so that no human being might boast before God. It is due to him that you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God, as well as righteousness, sanctification, and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Whoever boasts, should boast in the Lord.”
Sirach 35:16-20 He shows no partiality to the weak but hears the grievance of the oppressed. He does not forsake the cry of the orphan, nor the widow when she pours out her complaint. Do not the tears that stream down her cheek cry out against the one that causes them to fall? Those who serve God to please him are accepted; their petition reaches the clouds.
1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel: Do not judge from his appearance or from his lofty stature, because I have rejected him. God does not see as a mortal, who sees the appearance. The Lord looks into the heart.
John 17: 20-21 '“I pray not only for them, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, so that they may all be one, as you, Father, are in me and I in you, that they also may be in us, that the world may believe that you sent me."
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.
Thanks again, Lila! You are amazing! Hope you and your family, and everyone here has a light-filled peaceful joyful blessed week!
Wow. The first time I heard about Micheal was at a conversation with Andrew Rodriguez in this very topic couple months ago, but this conversation is even more profound, detailed, and nuanced. It has helped me a lot in my own path being a 4-year convert follower of Jesus who lived for 20 years as an homosexual man.
I'm watching this from Argentina. It would be great to have Spanish subtitles in order to make it accesible to non-English speaking people and be blessed by Michael's articulated information on this topic which is greatly needed today.
"sexual fluidity" in people is usually a sign of trauma, and early exposure to sexual content as well
If sexual fluidity is a sign of trauma the same condition can be used for gay and straight people, meaning you can swap as a buttom is like that?
Im gay, totally normal, not religious just a boring regular guy who happens to be gay, nothing needs to be changed, just live your life, accept who you are, stop trying to change what you are.
Im gay but i have a nice happy life. i had friends, and i have my father thru my life growing up. I never sexually abused or get advantage of when i was a kid. When i young i play games and outdoor games with other neighbours kids and thats it. Not every gay who came out as gay have traumas.
Hi Lila! I always love your content but this was especially eye opening and important . I am an Orthodox Jew and I find that this topic is sooo under touched and super important in todays world. Thank you both!❤
I had read a psych book from the 60s that said it was caused by domineering mothers and passive of absent fathers.
I don't doubt it for anything
Could you cite the psych book? I would love to read. Thank you.
It was a college textbook I found in the library basement at LSU. I should have checked the name of James carville had read it.
That was the prevailing belief among therapists until gay psychologists took over the American Psychological Association.
Ignore old psychology book, in latest year s we have new discoveries.
What big horse shit! Didn't go through trauma, wasn't abused, had great parents. Had good relationships to men and women and still turned out lesbian. And there is nothing wrong about being gay and being a Christian. Don't over analyse everything and let people play God and put you in boxes.Live with Christ and everything will fall in place. Live and let live.Love and you will be loved ❤.
I highly, highly doubt that boys have to shift to their dads as their primary emotional attachment around 2-5 years old. Both boys and girls continue their primary emotional attachments to their moms for a lot longer. Dads are often at work and are generally not as involved as moms in the upbringing.
There are other inaccuracies in this presentation as well.
This is so good and true! Thank you for this. I raised my son as a single mom and his father was never involved. I know this is one of his deep wounds that he still carries with him and identified around 15-17 as being gay. He gave his life to the Lord fully last year at age 20 and was baptized and radically changed by God! Praise God for His faithfulness! We all have God shaped hole in our hearts, especially those who have experienced trauma or not having a parent involved in their lives or abuse- whatever it is! Jesus is the ultimate healer 🙌
This is indeed a very important program. My daughter is a therapist, and I think a very good one. She is a compassionate woman and even her voice is so soothing. However, she supports abortion and she calls herself a “depth psychologist.” She has explained a little of what that means. But I don’t believe she would agree with Michael Gasparro in terms of her treatment of homosexual clients.
I wish she would watch this video and really listen to what he says.
What happens when you've only been taught one side of psychology? one religion? one sport? one job?
bias.
I am a guy in his mid-30s who suffers from SSA. I am attracted to women, but I also have a physical attraction towards men. Can't wait to see this.
May God bless you and help you 🙏❤️😇 stay strong brother, you're not alone in this, God is with you 💪🙏❤️
Listen to me: You are not a man, period. A Man has POWER, we don't have it, we are just rats waiting to do wrong things. Now, you are a Male, and if you are attracted to males, you can't be attracted to female, period. You are saying something absurd 100%. Real Males never will be attracted to a male ever, period. Don't try to confuse young males.
It's called bisexuality.
Great interview! Thanks for the shout out, Michael! Bless your good work!
Subscribed ! 🛐
I'm glad you had this conversation, because I've been wondering about this for over a decade. It's always seen toe a coincidence that all gay people experience some abuse or SA.
Thank you Dr.Gasparo for talking about this, there's so many of us who wouldn't hear this anywhere else.
I have a friend who one day told me "I'm gay". I had read the genetic evidence and knew that there is no such thing and I told him that. He was shocked. He had totally ingested that he just "was" gay. Within a month or two this fit , handsome young man was dating a young woman and as far as I know he carried on down this path. Its a behavior so often tied to abuse and family issues or death of a same sex parent. God heals us and just helps us to be what we actually are. I've read there are 3 times more "ex-gays" than gays, as one would expect.
I think some people just gay
Agreed
Yes.
Nooooo
Exactly
@@Being_Joe no. That’s like saying I think that a wall is just there. You have to understand why and how.
Finally someone is touching this subject! Great work we need more people talking about this
Childhood trauma is the cause of most harmful behavior - drug/alcohol addiction, promiscuity, violence, etc. - not just SSA. It's beyond sad how rare a HEALTHY FAMILY creating HEALTHY CHILDREN has become. There is no hope for us without Jesus.
According to what's written in the New Testament, Jesus didn't say anything about homosexuality, let alone whether it was good or evil. However, he certainly started changing a lot of things written in the Old Testament and replaced them with a far more loving alternative. To mention one such teaching, instead of agreeing to an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, Jesus taught about love, forgiveness and compassion. Yet, even so, we still have so called Christians condemning homosexuals in Jesus' name???? Another question I have regarding the OT is how is it that God supposedly made rules of hate towards those who are born with desires for their own sex for life partners, has created so many humans with both sexual genitals???
Its just so sad that we call children anything at all .. put a pre label this or pre label that. We change, grow evolve our selves so rapidly in the first 18 years, and thats tough enough! Cant we just answer their questions lovingly & honestly as it suits our family & culture.
I’m an Orthodox Christian. Church Fathers teach us about temptation and all kinds of works. That's why some monasteries won't have nuns sleeping together with nuns or monks with monks. In the end, we get backwards, to all that the Church Father has taught us but not with so much of explanations or context details, psychological context etc. In the end, we are going more and more stupid… thinking we are free but we are oppressed by our mind which has been concurred by the devil. Church Fathers are telling us that demons are little minds. Angels are a type of mind…….
As a woman, I don’t trust other women. I have very few friends and of the ones I have we don’t hang out. They’re more introverted like me too. But I must say that they are very ethical. So I’m very selective. However, it still didn’t turn me into a lesbian.
It’s nothing to do with trusting or not trusting woman, it’s about trauma involving your mother or peers.
Women are not to be trusted. Women should not even trust themselves. That why women need good men in their lives.
@@Disgruntled_Canadiancan you give examples of traumas they could be? Funny enough I find myself relating to the original comment. I have a loving boyfriend but I find myself struggling making real connections with female friends. I build a wall and somewhat feel like these are superficial relationships. The friendships I enjoy tend to be the ones where philosophical discussions happens.
¡Bravo! Excellent. Wow, Michael’s knowledge is in-depth, not just regarding the topic of Lila’s podcast, but in handling discussions with your child when the child raises the topic of sex.
Michael Gasparro’s knowledge is expansive, but is also extremely targeted for the individual.
Anyone, seeking him for therapy will find themselves in contact with an incredible resource. And a resource for life.
!Bravo!
People sometimes underestimate the power of teaching through joy and song etc! ❤🎉
Myself growing up..
My dad died early in a hospital, and i grew up with my mother and 3 sisters.. they had no masculinity to give me. But i ended up in a lot of fights, which helped me. I never bowed down to anyone, and i still don't. I only bow to God. 'Born a Christian', yeah, i think i was born a Christian, all-though my home was not Christian at all. I have always been drawn towards God, even at a young life. I have seen God, or God's power.. i have seen and felt a massive yellow/white glowing light all around me that appeared after i kneeled down and asked God to save me.. i ment it, i was lost and cried, my whole being was praying for God.
God is real, and He can help you. We can all be lost in the darkness, but God holds the light for us to see and find our way. Stay with God.
This guy sends my gay-dar screaming 'code red' and he's talking about overcoming homosexuality - the irony is almost comical. On the subject itself, the idea that homosexuality is either mostly genetic or mostly due to upbringing is an oversimplified dichotomy, because it ignores the possibility of the neurological foundations being laid during fetal development, which is largely a function of hormones (especially in regards to testosterone under/overexposure). So there could be zero genetic component while at the same time they're 'born that way'. The fact that gay men tend to be feminized (like the fellow you're interviewing) and gay women tend to be masculinized, and this can be observed as early as toddler age, is evidence that this is largely a neurological aberration, neither genetic nor environmental. You can learn more about these facts and the evidence for them in "The End of Gender" by Debora Soh (not a woke book at all, despite the title). Also, male sexuality isn't nearly as 'fluid' as female sexuality. If you're exclusively homo or hetero, then the relevant parts of your brain (and potentially others) are fully feminized or masculinized and there's nothing you can do about that. If there's a hodgepodge, or something in-between, maybe you can lean on the inferior / shadow side of your bisexuality and manage to fool yourself and others but that's not actually curing any underlying condition that the church wants to pathologize. I think the best thing gays can do is accept. Be kind to yourself, accept that your life is going to have some more challenges. Some people are born dyslexic, it doesn't mean they don't try to live the best lives they can with the limitations they've got. And if you don't experience it as a limitation, then all the better. I'm not suggesting 'pride' or other celebrations, but radical self-acceptance really rocks.
You know, I can accept this mindset. I wish everyone in the pro-gay camp had what you have, the ability to be nuanced and accept that it's not a desirable condition, but something you may have to live with. I'm 100% on board with that message, as long as society still values marriage, children, and monogamy, and accepts it as the 'ideal' that maybe can't always be reached but should be the gold standard.
What I can't accept is the nonsense about how gay is great and straight is boring and we need to convince more people to try it out, and oh look, let's have entire holiday months dedicated to making sure five year olds know what pegging is.
@@Wasserbienchen Yeah it's definitely not "ideal" to not be able to have kids with the person you want to be with, or to raise kids without a fully rounded out balance of the masculine and feminine. I think the more recent attempts at normalization are extreme, partly motivated from a place of pain for many, and partly by people who get a sense of meaning out of the 'fight' if you will. It's worth trying to bear in mind that even though these types are highly visible and have managed to get behind some hefty levers, that many (perhaps most) gay people just want to be left alone and to not be treated poorly. I know many gays who dislike pride, especially the risqué aspects of it.
@@tehknologik I’m one of those gays. I’ve never even been to pride and likely never will with the craziness on display there.
Many ex homosexuals continue to show effeminate behaviour and speech patterns because that’s how they developed to be. You can’t just switch it off and pretend to sound like and behave like a masculine man once you change your sexuality as an effeminate man. I have seen other interviews with this guy. I couldn’t believe it is him because he sounds less gay in this interview.
@@Wasserbienchen Accepting one's homosexuality or lesbian identity can be a challenging situation, especially during youth, but the same feeling recurs throughout life. These days, it’s not very difficult for others to accept, and I’ve never personally experienced homophobia from outsiders. However, as a young person, I even hated my friends talking about homosexuality and got really angry, but now I’ve been in a lesbian relationship for 15 years. I do not support the current Pride movement because of everything else that has been mixed into it (fetishes, sex work, children), but I get the reason why Pride exists is that the same shame of living differently and being “wrong” is present throughout life.
I don’t believe any gay person thinks it’s wrong or boring to be straight, we all wanted to be straight and normal. It's very painfull experience to realise you are just not like everyone else. Nor does anyone really try to "convert" someone to being gay. It’s just as impossible as converting someone to being straight. I believe children should be told that gay people exist and that it’s okay (if only for the sake of gay parents and relatives). Religions shouldn’t interfere with this kind of matter or any politics whatsoever.
Same-sex attraction used to be considered a paraphilia, a set of disordered sexual behaviour. It seems to me that after it gained mainstream acceptance, gradually the idea of disordered sexual behaviour like sadism, masochism, sexual violence and all other fetishes began to be swept under the rug as completely normal, in the mainstream. On its own, if you don't have religious concerns, homosexuality is not harmful (or at least you're not allowed to think deeply about that assertion). But does nobody else see a kind of progression in acceptance of all this?
I do!
I really liked this video! So interesting and profound all the way through! 🙏🏼
In my opinion from the people I know who are gay and women they told me that they were all abused sexually as a child so the confusion starts there some don’t remember much but little by little the parts come back I believe because it’s trauma and the brain does that to protect them this is why I tell the mother or soon to be mothers stay at home with your children protect them raise them yourself be the good guidance for them
Bingo. Agree 100%
I have not been abused and I am SSA. However I think that probably when I was little I would have preferred to be a woman, because I felt like they had more advantages
@@C.S.S.M.L.. You could have some repressed trauma memories though. And until those surface, you'd have no conscious recollection.
@@Kinesiology411 I don't think so. Or rather, perhaps I interpreted something as traumatic that isn't, which I believe is true for me.
@@Kinesiology411 I agree too
I know several gay men and every single one had been SA'd as a child
I (a woman) who, while mostly in straight relationships and being a mother, was SSA'd from quite young until I found Jesus again, every desire I had towards women has completely left me now (and yes, I was abused as a child also)
I know plenty of gay people that did not experience any major trauma.
You don’t know. People have secrets. Many “happy” going are the ones hurting more inside
None that they’ve mentioned to you. People with same sex attraction block that truth because it hurts them to acknowledge that it’s not the way they’re supposed to be.
@@the-lord-is-my-shepardd Nah, sorry to break it to you, but not all people who are gay have experienced any kind of trauma. At least not trauma that would run the risk of altering ones sexual orientation. Speaking for myself, I was never assaulted, both parents in the household, grew up in a religious household (Jehovah Witness) and I'm still a lesbian. The only trauma I've had is emotional trauma at the hands of my mother because I was gay, which of course went against her religious beliefs. But even then, she was loving and when I fell on my face financially during college, her door was always open despite her not approving of my sexuality. So, all in all , I would say I've had a good life, but I'm still homosexual.
@@the-lord-is-my-shepardd Where do you get off thinking you can speak for us? You’re wrong by the way.
@ being a victim from that, thinking I was like that growing up, studying psychology, and science ! I’m not trying to affend it’s not insult it’s just the truth u can either believe it or not. Take care.
Lust is lust, same sex attraction is just a disordered relationship with Gods plan for human sexuality. The answer to it is the same as any sin, realization that this life is not about your desires.
@@Friardavidosss And you should realize you have no right to dictate to other people how they should live their life.
@@LemonJuice516 He’s not dictating anything. He’s merely giving his thoughts and opinions and he’s allowed to do so. Have a nice day.
@@Disgruntled_Canadian So am i cupcake and he should have more courage to show his control freak tendency not hide behind God.
@@LemonJuice516 I don’t but God does.
@@LemonJuice516 I’m not trying to control anyone God gives everyone a free will they can follow His commandments or be damned. I’m merely pointing out the fact that sin is always a choice where one puts their desires above Gods laws.
I wish I could find a therapist like this! 🙏👏🔑
Thank you Lila for addressing this important topic. Thank you Michael for speaking.
why has homosexual relations been seen in almost every species of animal on earth?
probably animals that experienced trauma as puppy lol!
The same reason disabilities and abnormal development is common amongst all species. The environment can often cause these problems. Pollution, chemical exposure, unhealthy mothers. The list is long, abuse is not the only factor.
@@equityjustice2695 you are saying having a preference in a relationship is a disabilitie? god save us from bigotry
I think it is the 7 day coffee.
@nachois LOLOL
Strangely enough I found celibacy on my own, after beginning my spiritual journey. I was abused beginning at 4, became terrified of men at an early age. Decided to be lesbian at 14 because I could finally express sexuality without it feeling gross. It took four years to accept being gay, then I had to leave the church to do so. Over there years I went on to identifying as a bisexual to being a lesbian and hiding my attraction to men ( mostly from myself by lying to everyone and saying I was lesbian) due to that fear. Finally, when I began a path that was spiritual and involved integration I was forced to admit the lie to myself. I spent a few years contemplating that and then stopped wanting to be with women. I now don't date and I have considered being with men. But the fear gets in the way. So I remain celibate.
Porn really is a huge drain on one's health. Mental, spiritual, physical. It's easier to get relief but it deprives one of the natural drive to find someone. To heal. Instant gratification with maybe that retraumatizing interest can be addictive and destructive. It's marketed as healthy these days too. But morally it feels antithesis to who I am now. At least supporting it as an industry does. I am not Christian but I find OF abhorrent. I find prostitution alarmingly rife with abuse and exploitation. And spiritually sending out sexual energy to a machine like corporation seems like offering your power to an unknown god. It's ...just not for me anymore. But I have used it to assuage the loneliness.
I wish there was another way. I have worked on healing the trauma for over a decade now, but it seems like a never ending journey. I would love to be in love and have someone who is home. But I don't want to be disgusted by the sexual side of the relationship. That sounds awful and unfair to my partner and I worry engaging in sex with men (maybe anyone) would just be adding more trauma. I'm terrified of being abused again. It's why I'm alone.
I really appreciated how well you articulated your situation 🙂, most people can't seem to ✍️ write out their thoughts coherently.
I think you will find healing ☺️ by the will of God Almighty. Don't give up.
Try to read the Quran, it's not a lengthy book, you will find some answers there also. Peace come from our Creator.
I am bisexual. I don't act on it due to religious beliefs. It is probably both. There are probably a host of factors (both nature and nuture) that contribute towards homosexuality and bisexuality. I would say that most of us-at least in my personal experiences-did not have good relationships with our fathers.
In my case, I still want to marry a woman. The only way I can do this is by not telling her I am attracted to both genders.
"The only way I can do this is by not telling her I am attracted to both genders." Why? Telling her is the good and honest thing to do and a woman who loves you will take you with your imperfections and struggles.
@Emled329 Good question.
I have never met a straight woman who would entertain the idea of courtship with a bisexual man. I have explained to them that I don't act on my same-sex attractions due to my Christian faith. They don't care. To them, I am just as bad as a guy who goes to bath houses. They get to say they are a "new creation" in Christ-but apparently I don't get that same understanding.
To be honest, I have only gotten bad reactions from women-never from men (regardless of whether they were straight, gay or bi). Ironically, this is despite living in a conservative community.
If you don't tell a woman the truth, she will find out the truth. It could be days, weeks, years, even decades. But she will find out. When she finds out you lied/kept something from her, especially something as important as that, she will never trust you again.
@Alexander44665 there's someone out there for you. I am happily married but a man being attracted to men and women wouldn't cause me to not wanna be in a relationship with him.
If he were only attracted to men I wouldn't entertain it because I want my husband to be attracted to me, but them being attracted to men and women wouldn't be a problem as long as they work to only have eyes for me.
Just like men can resist cheating on their wives with other women, bisexual men can resist cheating on their wives with other men.
Don't lose hope!!
@@Emled329why? You don’t need to tell your significant other every single personal thought or feeling you’ve ever had.
You'll find me singing "God gave me my body and I like it" at any given time henceforth.....Lovely episode! Thanks for sharing
I am a conservative Catholic with SSA. I suffer from loneliness and isolation, one reason I sought the Church was to meet my peers who I would think be better quality people than meeting people in bars and clubs! You know how many friends I have from Church after all I have tried? 0! Most people my age despite all of their “love for Jesus” don’t give a damn about others, including Jesus! Pathetic! Here’s the thing! We have 8 billion people on this planet and we have a loneliness pandemic! How the freakin’ heck does that happen?????? On yeah! Narcissism! I am sorry but the Church should put aside its obsession with who people love and should encourage people to love others! Start sitting down with my generation and teach them about basic social skills and etiquette! Their parents and schools haven’t taught them anything of the sort. I bear all of the emotional scars both inside and outside of the Church from them! Evidently millennial and gen z Catholics, many of whom identify with traditionalists, haven’t quite gotten Jesus’ memo on “love thy neighbor” yet! Tell you the truth the gays haven’t either! One thing religious people and gays have in common…endless hypocrisy! 🤔 I’ve got an idea! Maybe, just maybe the Church start teaching that “love thy neighbor” stuff Jesus was talking about???? Maybe we wouldn’t have so much narcissism and loneliness today?
I am SSA, Catholic, Gen Z, I have no friends, I am very shy, in church I see almost no other boys my age, even though I live in a Catholic country.
@@C.S.S.M.L..God bless you brother! We’re in the same boat! I have come to the conclusion that the Church and religion in general should bring people together. And to teach love one another! Men, gay, bi, and straight, need this! Women have done a better job. Men suck badly at it! Men have been drilled to be robotic and suppress emotions to be “masculine!” This has led many men to be sociopaths and/or suicidal! We need to rethink our entire concepts of interpersonal relationships! There’s nothing wrong with SSA, same sex affection, physical and emotional intimacy! Believe me! Men and society would be far better off! Anybody who says otherwise, is not of God or Christ but from the lowest pits of Hell! Better to love one another than to murder, harm, screw, and ignore others!
I'm in the same boat as you.
Those other people are wounded also.
All the "friends" I met at church are significantly unwell themselves. The church is for the wounded and broken. Nurture your friendship with Jesus Christ.
Mental prayer, contemplation, retreats and mass.
God is seeking a deeper relationship with you. Seek Him, the rest will come in His perfect timing.
With all due respect you sound very self absorbed. Try seeing what you can do FOR other's and this will bring the joy and connection that is missing in your life.
❤@@yeshua1st
Fantastic interview with such great insights! Absolutely love and appreciate his heart after God!
Im gay , i love my family i would vote for trunp if i was in the us, i dint have trauma when i was yough and still got no attraction to women . I can understand that sone confuse human could think they are gay , i dont understand the problem of been gay . I can live and be happy
You block your trauma when it happens at a young age. It’s your brain taking care of yourself to forget about traumatic experiences. It doesn’t have to be sexual it could also be lack of fatherhood or motherhood in your life.
@@the-lord-is-my-shepardd Our most vivid memories are ones of trauma no matter the age. Yes, we cherish the good memories but its mostly the feelings we recall, less so the events. The mind holds on better to bad ones because they help us remember what can pose a danger to us. It's a survival mechanism found in all living things.
Homosexuality is found in those who did not endure any of the cliché reasons such as trauma (sexual and non alike), and one or both parents absent from the household. The rate of homosexuality isn't any higher in countries that notoriously abuse children.
@@the-lord-is-my-shepardd as trauma can make you go christian cause a priest said the right thing at the right time at your weakest moment ? I was super scared of been gay back in the day i woulnd have told anyone till i was 100% sure at 20 years old , i dont say that life cant help you finding it sooner , thing happen but in general i have got a pretty normal life . saying homosexuality is 100% trauma and nothing else is an easy scapegoat for religion then we dont have to think more about it . why should i make a women live an unloved marrigage just because you think gays are wrong for me thats a sin worst then a loving gay couple (that is if love of 2 same gender is a sin in your head ).
@ From a psychological and scientific perspective, sexual orientation is influenced by a complex interplay of biological, genetic, hormonal, and environmental factors. trauma or negative experiences related to one's sexual identity may shape someone's personal journey or how they come to understand and express their sexuality. Hopefully that’s not ur case but I’m just saying sex is meant for a man and a women to have a child 2 women and 2 men’s having sex can’t create a child nothing will come out of that intercourxe so it’s just obvious that it’s not meant to be that way. I’m not judging tho idc honestly and Jesus doesn’t care either he loves us all no matter what💕
@@the-lord-is-my-shepardd its good to not judge , i got 3 christian in my family ( mother side) telling us we will burn in hell and they are fine whit that . Theres evil in both camp and do beleive if a god really created us , he coulnd have created hell even for the most evil there is . I wish good to everyone even if i disagree whit them . If christianity help you to be a better person then im happy about that . I still think i was born this way and will love myself . I just dont beleive trauma is the answer, even in the wild theres gay animal .
Sex, for humans, requires a male organ and female organ. Without both interacting as they were designed to with the other, sex does not occur. Therefore, human sexuality is always heterosexual. It cannot be other than this.
The words homosexual, bisexual, etc. are therefore misnomers where humans are concerned. This also means there can be no sexual consummation with any humans who are not male and female. All of this is simple, biological fact.
Desires that are contrary to biology are disordered desires. These can mimic sexual desire and lead to behavior that mimics sexual union, but involve no actual sex between the two because it is simply impossible for them to have sex.
Love requires truth and all denials of the truth are unloving and lead to harm for individuals and to society if the falsehoods become widespread beliefs which are untrue. It will lead to other errors in fact, as it has in our culture, because spiritual essence has been separated from identity, leading to other identity claims that allow for this separation of quiddity and self.
Trans identity and the abuses of children, including the mutilation of their bodies is one of the horrific consequences of the error that our essence is not tied to our body. The soul is the form of the body. This theological truth prevents the error and restores us to truth. Physical identity cannot be divorced from spiritual identity, and that Christian belief kept our society from the errors that contradict reality and are now causing our children harm.
To love those whose identity is based on false identity beliefs requires a challenge to their belief and restoration of health in body, mind, and spirit.
I agree with you except sex doesn’t occur outside of heterosexuals. It does although that’s not what the body is designed for. I feel like that’s why they have diseases and other issues from living that lifestyle.
@@jhanecox672they cannot engage in copulary sex. They can do things equatable to masterbatory acts with another member of the same sex. The term sex is an evolved term derived from sexual intercourse with it's scope expanded upon as conversations around intimacy became more commonplace.
@@jhanecox672very true.
The premis dont make any sense becouse sex Is not riproduction
Respectfully, those other activities are not sex, they are are a sort of mutual mast*rbation.
Homophobia and outdated religion is REAL. Being gay has nothing to do with abuse and trauma. Yes many people from straight and gay communities have been abused. I would argue many people have been victimized due to being different. However, abuse does not cause someone to be samesex attracted. There are numerous studies debunking this belief. Why is the religious right still so obsessed with homosexuality? Let people pursue their happiness and thrive in this country.
Except it is a factor for many gay men? Trauma can 100% lead you into a homosexual lifestyle and you would rarely know it. Just like pedophile victims go on to become pedophiles themselves. Again, this does not apply to all people but to outright deny it happens is stupidity.
One thing I love about Lila is her willingness to wack all the hornets nest nobody else will. Keep up the good work.
I've never heard this topic discussed this way before. Michael is so insightful and the research he cites is eye opening. I imagine the sensitivity he recalls having as a boy is probably the key that lets him attune with and unlock the pain that many men are going through. Great voice as well. Just noticed the album is already available on his website. I definitely encourage everyone to check it out.
Thank you for that whole episode, as a therapist it helps a lot to continue learning.
The Bible never said gay love, or same sex attraction, doesn't exist. It also never forbade gay love. It forbade gay sex. Never once does it say anything about men loving other men, or women loving other women. It simply forbade LAYING with a man as a man would a woman. You people continually misread the Bible, it does not forbid or condemn same sex attraction. The reason why the bible likely forbids gay sex is for the same reason it forbids masturbation or fornication; the bible forbids ANY form of sexual stimulation if it is not FOR procreation.
The passages in scripture about gay sex do not in any way prohibit same sex love or attraction and never once says same sex attraction or homosexuality is a sin.
And I guess you will say the Bible mentions 'adultery' only 49 times as being a terrible sin. Why did God ask Lot to 'lay' down with his own daughters? What was God thinking? Did Lot experience any 'trauma' as a kid? Probably not!
@Dan-q6v1v That isn't a rebuttal. Show me what passage forbids gay love
Exactly! A straight person and a gay person should both control their sexual passions and urges!
this was AWESOME and soooooo important.....the best is hearing his experience. This IS going to bless so, so many people.
I’m a believer that experience is the best teacher, albeit the most brutal. From experience, I know the Father Wound is a huge factor. It is real and painful and not a myth. If boys have a dad who is emotionally absent and emotionally abusive and a poor male role model, the results are disastrous.
AMAZING!! Thank you so much both of you for sharing. I lived as a gay man for many years until i met Jesus Christ.
Please explain how same sex attraction is “inherently disordered.” Without quoting the Bible.
Exactly, the APA removed it from "disorders" in 1975. Someone didn't do his homework and his license should be removed. God bless you because the law may not...
It's based on natural law ethics. Put simply, SSA is not in line with the with the proper function of our reproductive system.
When Catholics describe same sex attraction as inherently disordered, we are talking about the moral order. It's pretty straightforward and can be discerned through reason. God designed sex to be procreative and I think this should be obvious based on our biology: the purpose of sperm and ova are for procreation. Same sex sex separates the sex act from this purpose, and same sex attraction is not oriented towards God's designs for how we procreate. When we deny the procreative purpose of sex, all sorts of bad things happen, and we see the damage throughout society now that a lot of people act as if sex is primarily for pleasure. I would also add that anal sex is very unhealthy : penises were not designed to go in butts, they were designed to go in vaginas.
@@jayman7774 Homosexuality is found across nature and co-exists perfectly. Homosexual couples are common in nature. Your statement is scientifically wrong and dishonest. Aren't you ashamed?
"Disordered" doesn't mean 'mental disorder.' "Disordered" refers to "different than the 'natural ordering' of sexual intercouse for reproduction."
I would prefer that the Church change this wording to be more clear because it is so often confused with mental health vocabulary.
I became bisexual when I wanted my boyfriend to like me more. He asked me about being with women and I wanted to impress him and make him happy.
Is he distinguishing between "Christians" and "Catholics"? Why? (I'm Baptist and I think Catholics can be Christians.)
They ‘can’ in theory. But their reverence of and for Mary is often actually worshipping her. They believe for instance she was a perpetual virgin, she was sinless and they believe in her bodily ascension. They believe in works in order to be saved in addition of Christ’s work and also believe in transubstantiation (the bread and wine physically become the body and blood of Jesus). The pope(s) are problematic in many ways and much more could be said. Dr James White once said many Catholics will be saved ‘in spite of’ catholicism and not because of it.
@@thytruth813lol not you misinforming! It’s actually because western Protestant christians have hijacked the name Christians and have excluded Catholics and by extension The Orthodox from it (despite these two being the first Christians).
Also, no we don’t worship Mary and you can’t find an official Church document condoning a sin like that.
Catholics ARE Christians. The Catholic Church is one of the early born Christian churches, it was born in the course of the first centuries after Christ. Christians are all the believers in the Trinity and the incarnation of God in Jesus, then they divided into many churches and creeds
@@thytruth813I don't know who this James White is. He isn't certainly a Father of the Church. The Catholic religion is the only true faith. With its authority, it has defined the canon of Scripture and it alone is the pillar and support of truth, which can authentically interpret the texts. The first Christians venerated the relics of the martyrs and celebrated Mass on their tombs, they resorted to their prayers and had sacred representations, as did the ancient Jews, this is attested from the 2nd century, we have the catacombs.
The Saints of the first centuries, including Ignatius of Antioch, a disciple of the Apostle John, teach that bread and wine are transformed into the body and blood of Christ.
Study, read texts and you will stop being a Protestant.
I think because Catholics have defined teachings in these areas. He references things like councils, encyclicals, the catechism, etc. He uses a lot of terminology that is common in Catholic theological teaching and spiritual life (spiritual direction, sacramental life, etc).
Culture must play a large roll. For most of human history life was very different, sleeping arrangements were different, children were not crammed into schools, etc.
Yeah, just ask the Greeks and Romans.
This topic is so nuanced and so layered. I am disappointed in the people in the comments
Wow, the wisdom from this man! Amazing! Just got better and better. He’s very knowledgeable
Beautiful testimony
Wonderful episode....& Love that song at the end! So needed for our kiddos these days - Thank you!
Why only focus on gays? Jesus stated that you one must repent of ALL SINS not just certain sins. Go read your bibles people as no where in the bible mentions gay gene or other nonsense. To the reader of this comment I encourage you to read the bible and stop watching nonsense videos that do not have biblical backing. Repent of ALL SINS if you TRULY want to follow christ. Many false christians out there saying false non biblical things. Read your bible stop watching youtube.
Well said!!!
Acceptance. Being accepted, acknowledged. The perception of being "important" to someone (and/or others).
In this day and age in which "societal norms" vilify men in so many ways. The rejection of men and manhood that result from that vilification.
Is it any wonder so many young boys and men are found looking for some warmth and affection from fellow human beings who won't be judgemental about their masculinity or their physical features etc?
& When humans find common issues in life they start to bond, as the pain and frustrations are shared, which brings about a type of bond.
Then add to that the sick predators who take advantage of these pains and frustrations, the anger, resentment and all the other negative emotional scars of these young men.
This is a cocktail for anything, let alone relationships that are not heterosexual.
Society as we know it has always been very judgemental, however since the 1960's, it seems that morality has been inverted to the point where what is GOoD has been classed as bad/evil and what is bad/evil has been deemed as good, which has resulted in a society that would rather redefine and invert definitions to avoid all the challenges morality brings with it.
There is no "easy" path to GOoD and the current "I want it all and I want it now" generation will redefine anything to avoid any of the negativity that comes with the challenges of life.
Rejecting God is easier than trying to live a GOoD moral life.
"Feeling important" seems to matter more in this world today than anything stated in The Holy Bible.
Just look around on social media, all the "attention seeking" the never ending quest for recognition and acceptance.
Is it any wonder that in that type of society with practically no moral norms (rejecting/undermining GOoD morals) with a naturalistic (satanic/humanistic) norm of "you are your own god" and you set your own definition of moral vs immoral all based on your "feelings" and in which truth/facts simply don't matter, you get the point, is it any wonder that we see so many men and women, boys and girls seeking anything that will give them what they are indoctrinated into wanting?
Be it sexual, emotional, financial.etc
& Then top all this off with the new societal norms of "eternal victimhood".
Mummy I want that toy.
NO.
Child calls social services and claims victimhood!
Child tells auntie and she calls social services and accuses sister/brother of child abuse.
It can't end well.
This man is still 'MUSICAL' what ever he may say
I‘ve seen the becket cook show about this topic and i‘m sooo interested as i am a mother of a babyboy and just in general… i feel like this topic is so important and i‘m excited to listen to this video now as well😌
Thirty years ago I converted to Catholicism. Since I'm gay I chose to be celibate because I thought it was God's will. Daily Mass, daily Rosary, daily Bible reading, weekly Confession. Now in my later years of life, I have nothing to show for it. I am no new creation, nothing old has passed away, nothing has become new. I'm still just as gay as I ever was. My advice: If you are gay, live your life. Don't waste your life like I did.
This is the kind of advice that gay people need to hear. Thank you for sharing your story ❤
Catholics worship Lucifer.
Listen to THEIR OWN MASS, where they sing, Lucifer dawning his creation, Christ his son.
The Vatican is in the shape of a serpent wearing a crown with a forked tongue sidewalk.
VATICAN means DIVINING SERPENT.
I wish this was top comment. I don't believe the people in this interview are doing this out of good faith or intellectual honesty. Just agenda pushing and endorsing witchdoctors and junk science.
Nothing to show for remaining chaste? You have avoided committing mortal sin. By “live your life”, do you mean “go ahead and engage in sodomy and lesbianism”?
You are still the same because we are saved by grace through faith not by works. You were not delivered from that demonic spirit because mass,rosary etc are powerless. They are man made rituals and cannot break that stronghold. This is the truth. Not by might nor by power but my Spirit says the Lord
This is so important and helped me more than you can imagine! I've been doing this kind of integrative therapy and it has been LIFE CHANGING. But my 'self' is still flickering.
Praise God for this man and his work!
Really enjoyed watching this, I learnt so so much❤❤❤ and he has such a beautiful voice
I don’t know a single straight person that hasn’t gone though trauma.