Gabby Petito Case Update | Was Brian Laundrie Controlling?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 มิ.ย. 2024
- This video answers the question: Can I analyze and update the case of Gabby Petito?
Support Dr. Grande on Patreon: / drgrande
“Gabby Petito” video on Bella Grande Media Podcast: • Gabby Petito / Brian L...
Subscribe to the Bella Grande Media Podcast: / @bellagrandemedia
Dr. Grande’s book Harm Reduction:
www.amazon.com/Harm-Reduction...
Dr. Grande's book Psychology of Notorious Serial Killers: www.amazon.com/Psychology-Not...
Check out Dr. Grande’s merchandise at: teespring.com/stores/dr-grand...
References:
nypost.com/2021/09/17/brian-l...
nypost.com/2021/09/20/gabby-p...
www.nytimes.com/2021/09/19/us...
www.insider.com/gabby-petito-...
www.insider.com/gabby-petito-...
www.independent.co.uk/news/wo...
• VAN LIFE | Beginning O...
www.scribd.com/document/52551...
kutv.com/news/local/moab-pd-d...
www.foxnews.com/us/utah-gabby...
![[Watch Party] APL 2024 รอบ 8 ทีมสุดท้าย ไทยต้องแชมป์ !](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/NctOkvaex-Y/mqdefault.jpg)
They lived with Laundrie's family and those heartless people didn't let Gabby's family know that Brian came back without Gabby.....Unbelievable.
I hope her parents sue his parents' ASSES off!
@G III, says who?
@@giii7599 Which experts? Where out there?
@@AL-mo5kb Again. The info is out there. Start looking.
the more I read, the more this points to Brian...and the family in appearing to cover this up smh
In the cop body cam footage, she's crying and says how theyre arguing and he wouldn't let her in the van.
That's very telling of the type of guy he is. That van was their only shelter, its transportation and its home. And he's denying her access to safety and her belongings.
Both were toxic for each other. Crazy, that just 2 weeks after that footage was taken, he kills her.
And let's not forget that the van is HERS
If you are around someone who has severe OCD you may want to separate from them as well.
This puzzle pieces of his behaviours are terrifyingly SAME as my abusive ex boyfriend, for example he took my phone and stuff and locked himself in a room for eternity, i couldn't do or go anywhere, but making ME look crazy infront of other people and him being "so nice guy". The worst type of people...
@@ktermalkut8332 If Brian needed some time to cool off and some distance he should've taken a walk by himself… He should've forced her out of the van. He ended up staying in a hotel room by himself. He could've done that without the police telling him he needed to do so. He should have never taken her keys and forced her into an unsafe environment when it wasn't her own idea
I’m so sad and angry that Brian was treated with kid gloves and not out under surveillance sooner. His parents have a lot to answer for as well.
answer for being at home and having a weird ass son that killled a girl? if the columbine parents didnt get charged they wont either lol
phahah you just made me laugh noone is responsible for other behaviour wtf not if your kid is the adult legal age smth
They lied & helped him escape authorities - they aided him. They are culpable & should have to answer for their own actions. All 3 of them need to be brought to justice.
Sabrina: Sincerely believe law enforcement has been held back from responding due to legal restraint that protects US all from "Police Brutality, and Overstepping Authority"" that has been #1 Hot Topic in the Nation. Evenmore, taking actions that violate Brian's Right s, that result in Slam Duck cases being thrown out of court based on a "technicality."
What were they suppose to do? We don’t even know what he told them yet. We don’t even know what happened yet.
The first time I heard her say that her boyfriend did not have confidence in her ability as a blogger my narcissism radar went off.
Yes, that was very condescending of him, and that's one of the many tools in the abusers tool kit: condescension.
Anyone can be a blogger, there's always someone out there interested in whatever pretty much anyone wants to talk and / or blog about.
one hundred percent correct
Same. And the way she said "he Gave me some time .."
Same!
Did it go... beep beep beep or beeeeeep beep beep
Guilty or not he certainly is made himself look very guilty with his actions
One lives in the hope that he doesn’t get the same bizarre and surreal defence team as O.J. Simpson.
@@Johnny-sj9sj he's done wants they can lay eyes on him
that is true...a well said, fair, and honest sentiment. I agree
@@mirrorneurongirl fear makes people act irrational.
@@Johnny-sj9sj Only OJ could have afforded that. Hes toast when they find him. If they find him alive anyways.
I appreciate this as a recovering domestic abuse survivor. It is hard to understand if you don't live it or study it. It always escalates and narcissist are always, always, always dangerous.
I’m so sorry for your experience with a narcissist. What l’m confused about, concerning Brian, is whether or not he planned this or flew into a violent irreversible rage. My heart breaks for Gabby’s family.
Gabby seems narcissit, and he seemed cold kinda like chris watts
I don't think it was premeditated. I do think that he caused behavior changes in Gabby by terrifying her (on at least one occasion that we know of) and that change in behavior gradually made him more irate. Which caused him to snap.
Besides, if this was premeditated he didn't think about any details that's for sure. Plus, why would he post, or record on travel vlogs and social media if he was planning on killing her from the start?
He probably felt untouchable after the cops in Moab saw laundrie as the victim. Gabby probably felt more isolated, as though not even the cops would be able to help her.
I'm so glad you're a survivor!! 💞
@@jbates725 THANK You and Goddess BLESS Dear Gabby---this F'd up world did NOT deserve her---she thought B was husband potentiality--she wanted the "Dream" and obviously didn;t have women around her holding the behavior accountable..Others knew I'm sure...we all sold her short--SPEAK up Crones and post Notice 2 the Young!!!
Something I keep thinking about is how in the body cam video of the traffic stop, Gabby talked about working on building her website and how Brian didn't think that she could do it. It makes me wonder whether it was typical of Brian to subtly make Gabby feel like she wasn't capable of doing things as a way to make her dependent on him/make her feel like she couldn't stand on her own and needed him.
I noticed that, also. He didn't think she could do it, and between the two of them, there was some references that 'she eas taking too long' eorking on it and it sounded like he eas getting frustrated that she was spending tii much time and attention to her 'work' rather than giving Him her attention!! I jrard her Loud snd Clear making excuses for her 'bad' behavior (?) of having OCD and it makes her Mean? So he gets Angry with Her?? REALLY?? How Understsnding abd Supportive of him? Didn't she say He's been bothering /upsetting/frustating Her lately?? I the police video?
Yes, she also thought she couldn’t drive the van - he probably made her feel that way.
Absolutely - classic insecure void of a creep with nothing to offer the world, who knew he didn’t deserve her, so he belittles her constantly so she feels like he’s doing her a favor. I’ve seen this too many times in my life with friends who were with abject losers who constantly demeaned them.
Also he called it her “little blog” to the cops. Another subtle way abusers undermine everything their victims do in order to maintain control.
@@SleepMeditationandAffirmations you don’t know how how it is!
This is a "Chris Watts" situation all over again. As far as blaming the victim and those creepy ass parents of his.
Yes except Brian is smarter than Chris. He's lawyered up and ain't talking.
I was thinking the same thing... She was portrayed as the aggressor and he was portrayed as the victim... And, now we have the witnesses from the restaurant that paint a totally different picture of Laundrie
exactly
He acts exactly like watts!! Thats what it is. Looks like him too
@@blister9366 agree
Dr. Grande, speaking as an attorney, I respect your dispassionate, detailed, and sober analysis of the facts and mental health issues in the case. You have a skilled analytical mind and an obvious talent for science. I appreciate your excellent content. Thank you.
What he said!
My sentiments exactly!!
Awesome comment!!!
If he had a scientific mind he would not speculate with incomplete information and speculate about an on-going case. Just to be fair.
Would love to hear your opinion, an attorneys opinion, to this case. I have heard a couple but neither really said much or acknowledged recent updates and really did not give a clear opinion at all if you ask me. Best of health to you and your loved ones! ✌🏻🙋👍🏻🤗
Victims of DV often suffer from heightened awareness and nervousness, they take and feel like they are to blame. This is what the bodycam footage looked like to me. It is impossible to see yourself as the victim and your mind makes excuses for the harm their partner causes. You hear so much that it is your fault you actually believe it and it's also the difficulty of accepting that the partner does not care as much as you think and hurting you really is easy and means very little.
You are spot on! I unfortunately experienced exactly this kind of abusive relationship by a narcissist. It is really hard to understand and discover what is happening while in the middle of it. It slowly grows onto you and you don’t even realize. You are just trying to make everything finally better and smooth while the other side continuously smashes all that you‘ve built up, and you start to rebuild and get back the harmony you are actually in need.
I agree with you. I spent 3 years of a horror marriage to an abuser. For the longest time, I didn’t see myself as a victim. Looking back, I realized that God had made a WAY OF ESCAPE, on the day he was going to shoot me. When you are YOUNG, you know so little and want love so much,,,
Case 2021-001108
Moab Police Department
"Before leaving, I spoke with the male driver of the van, the female passenger, and also called Chris (911 caller/witness) to get more information from him. All three individuals game me a similar and consistent story... No-one reported the male struck the female"
Exactly what I was thinking
I think Gabby played the aggressor defending Brian. He was definetely the one hitting her. It prob was so bad that the stranger felt the need to call 911. Police officers were not fully informed of witness's complaint & fell for that twisted scenario of Gabby's "mental illness".
I learned more from this in 11 minutes than I've learned from 2 weeks of media sensationalism.
That is why we love Dr Grande
It's all from the media though
@@jorgeaguilera4329 How much do you love him? Be specific please.
@@b.g.5869 translate his last name from Spanish or Italian. That is how much
The way Brian kept trying to suck up to the cops with his "if I was speeding, I'm really sorry" act was one sign of his manipulative modus operandi. He apparently had Gabby convinced that it was "her OCD" that was the problem in the relationship, not his controlling ways. The fact that she was terrified that he locked her out of the van and kept the keys away from her (even though it was apparently her van), shows how much he controlled her through intimidation and manipulation. What young woman wouldn't be scared of being abandoned in the middle of desert terrain?
Which it sounds like she was.
I didnt realize before that he heard voices so indeed it was too bad he went off his medication!!
@TL D. Good call. I think it's all about games to Brian with his control, manipulation and gaslighting. And Gabby only wanted to love him and make him happy. She was the perfect target for him, sweet and kind. I think she was trying to get away. But he just wouldn't allow it. His control was too powerful and he isolated her in the middle of nowhere and then did the unthinkable. So terribly heartbreaking. May God rest Gabby's beautiful soul. 💔🙏🏻🙏🏻 May Brian be found and justice served, and may God have mercy on his guilty soul.
That’s why you never just trust people so quickly and go on a trip with people you barely know to secluded places.
You said it.
Dr. Grande is ON IT in real time. Very interesting to see this while the case is unfolding. It will be interesting to see how accurate his speculations turn out to be. Poor, poor Gabby.
Police certainly could use some seminars on mental health and gaslighting...
This is what I was hoping to see today!
I guess I missed his speculations. Do you mean about trying to establish an alibi?
His analysis feels accurate so far. I wonder if we will ever hear details about the actual moment of the crime.
@@sandracaputo2917 Most police do study it. It's part of the job for the upper ranks. My father was sent to study at the Menninger Clinic decades ago.
Coercive control is real and it’s something we need to educate and talk about more openly within society.
Agreed. And let's not make these conversations about men controlling women; it goes both ways.
Can't like this enough ❤️
@@lucasgeurden1621 Agreed
@@lucasgeurden1621 Did you really have to get that dig in? Was that necessary? No one said only men did it.
@@SjofnBM1989 not a dig. A friendly reminder because it's hardly ever talked about and then it becomes a conversation about women's rights instead of human rights/behavior.
I found Laundrie's excessive apologies to the police and his eagerness to cooperate, a huge tip off that he was trying to be the 'good guy' in all of this.
At the traffic stop , Laundrie got an odd look of 'relief' on his face (watch the video and see for yourself), when the police told him that he was a VICTIM of domestic abuse (based on a few random scratches on his neck and hand).
I believed that the police had made a very wrong assumption about the couple and Gabby, in particular!
ABSOLUTELY
Spot on!
Yup Duper’s Delight
^^^ Idiots
i doubt you wtached the video or maybe your not the shaprest tool in the shed. he also had a swollen eye the police guy with the gopro said scratches and a swollen eye but yea in hinsight now cat bee can tell everyone how stupid they are and that its dayclear in the traffic stop what happened. stfu you just now know better if you only saw the tape you can only see her as aggressor and him as victim so stfu with your wannabe psycholigical conclusion on peoples behaviour omg
Thank you for this, Dr. Grande. I especially appreciate your pointing out that a relationship with a highly controlling person is not a relationship to be involved in. Until we understand that, we don’t know what we don’t know. Gabby’s tragic death can become her legacy, educating on this.
One thing is for sure: abuser will always make you look and feel like they are the victim and you are the one abusing them. That's what we could see in the bodycam video.
I feel so sad for Gabby's parents, family and friends. Rest in peace, angel.
Totally agree. You’re one of the only commentators who see this accurately
So true. I had a friend tell me recently that she was a narcissist and she was working on herself, but I know her husband and he is definitely the narcissistic abuser, he was the same with his first wife. I have always kept my distance from him because I can see it. But I guess he has convinced her she is the one who has issues. It is heartbreaking.
@@adams5414 unfortunately, for those with experience in abusive relationships the observation that @panajotov makes is 100% true. Abusive relationships have this in common. The abuser will present themselves as the victim. They gaslight the actual victim and the victim becomes trauma bonded. That's why victims often don't speak up or find it difficult to move forward and leave the relationship. Abusive relationships are never as cut and dry or as some (those who have not been in abusive relationships) would think.
@@adams5414 There has been no enabling the victim mentality here. The "yes sir"/apologizing "if he was speeding "is manipulative behavior. Again, those who do not recognize or see these types of behaviors may perhaps be lucky as they themselves have not been in or experienced abusive relationships. There are always many facets to any relationship and most often the clear or obvious answer/response from some people is often a knee-jerk reaction. Regardless whether or not you agree with me on this point I think we can both agree that the whole thing is sad. I doubt Brian will be found alive, as I think he likely has committed suic*de.
@@adams5414 There's a psychologist here on youtube and her channel is called Live Abuse Free. She does a very good job discussing this issue and also includes the 911 call made by a man who saw Brian slapping Gabby.
I wish we taught young people how to recognize toxic and abusive relationships, I believe that would save MANY lives! my heart breaks for her family, this guy is a coward and I hope they locate him soon.
When I was in high school I was in a women's mentoring program and they provided us girls with paperwork all about how to recognize red flags in teen relationship and what abusive behaviors are... I also ended up in a 5 year abusive relationship right around that time in high school. Sometimes you can say all you want but narcissist are very manipulative and make you feel like they aren't actually abusing you. I still have those papers to this day and when I look back on it, it makes me sad.
Sadly, girls get roped into relationships like this This is all pretty obvious. When I first saw the police footage aa few things were apparent , this is an incongruous relationship, she's a lovely beautiful girl, he's a shot. bald brooding guy. You can see that he's controlling and afraid she'll leave him. The interview with Gabby's friend confirms all of it. We've known guys like this and relationships like this. The girl needs/tries to leave, but he has his hooks in her. Dr Grande is correct, this often ends in valence and tragedy. The is the Star 80 phenomenon.
@@Chasstful yes exactly. My ex was very overweight while I was with him, very insecure and very controlling. I was also financially dependent on him and we had 2 kids together. And just like Gabby I had been with him since I was in high school. Too young to even understand what a real relationship is supposed to be, but desperate for someone to love me. And it can be confusing when someone doesn't let you leave, when they tell you they need you, when they tell you they love you, but they're also abusing you. I can only imagine what this poor girl went through. It is so hard to leave relationships like this and often these relationships have that on again, off again thing going on. Because the women want to leave and know they should but they always get sucked back in. I'm so grateful to be out of my abusive relationship, looking back I don't know how I survived.
and i wish we taught young people how to navigate through life so as to avoid becoming a source of toxicity and abuse in a relationship
@@samanthapurdy2053 wow, thanks for sharing that. Glad you got away!
Narcissistic abuse. He was mad she was ‘working too much’, controlling and angry.
Mad that she was focusing attention on her career and not him. She was finally out from under living in his house with his parents and was probably getting a lot of positive validation via the net which further enraged the sack of sewage.
@@lolotaeja3911 then wtf she go with him camping? if he a nut head
I really wanted her to be alive, but something about Brian's way of being too charming to the police already told me he had killed her. He was behaving way too awkward IMO. I strongly believe that he is the murderer.
I’m leaning more and more to believing there’s high probability of his guilt. My initial impulse was to defend due process and his behavior. He said he loves her blah blah. I had a camper van trip go South on me at their age. I didn’t fight with her but she just split when I was volunteering for 3 days at a wilderness outing. She hitchhiked home. If she had been killed I would have been accused of it and looked very suspicious. I dont know how I would have reacted as I was very insecure at the time. Very low self esteem. A part of me wanted myself to be punished because I had been brainwashed I was bad. So, my point is it’s not always simple as it looks. I just thought the girl was illogical. Why not just wait a couple days for me to return and then say “take me home” please. I hardly knew her and didn’t understand girls emotions. I just wanted someone excited to be going on adventures with and it might grow into a relationship. She wanted the emotional security of a relationship then go on adventures. RIP, Gabrielle. I am beginning to think he was enjoying abusing her and it got out of hand. She might have turned on him and rejected him and said she was going to the police. Then he might have done the terrible deed.
Homeboy was hearing voices . The voices killed the girl not Brian
@@seanj5893 - Wrong! Whether he “heard voices” (potentially a symptom of a mental health disorder) or not, *_he_* physically killed her. Hopefully, the autopsy results, as well as evidence collected by police and FBI, will indisputably prove Laundrie was the murderer.
@@paulbaker3144 appreciated your honesty Paul.
@@paulbaker3144 Good point Paul. Could very well be that he left her, and someone else killed her? But I highly doubt that scenario, being that he was the last person to slap her. Occam's razor comes to mind at this point.
If it wasn't for Dr.Grande I probably would have ended up like Gaby , but lucky for me his videos about narcissism and borderline personality disorders saved my life. I was able to get out of a controlling abusive relationship bc I finally understood what was happening and that I wasn't crazy. I will be forever grateful to him for posting these very important videos that educate the public about very dangerous personality types 🙏
That’s great to hear! I wish I had Dr. Grande and Dr. Ramani when I was younger.
@@priscilalondon And, Dr. Carter! All have been tremendously instrumental to my recent education! I, also, wish I had learned about these ideas and their terms. I would have been FAR better off than my life has turned out.
That's awesome. I've seen some criticism about "true crime" fans viewing these things as pure entertainment, some surely do, but I think a lot of us are ultimately so interested in analyzing these cases because deep down, we know how chaotic the world is and that we could easily become a victim ourselves. I think many of us have a morbid curiosity because we want to be educated should we find ourselves in similar situations.
@@heatherbukowski2102 yup the more information the better decisions someone can make 🙏
I'm so glad u did. I relate. I'm trying to not get sucked back in. This sad Gabby story has scared me straight. Hopefully a lot of others in toxic relationships or trying to stay out too. Single not ready to mingle lol Rest in peace Angel Abby.
Why is no one talking about the smoking gun in this case?? Which is the text message sent from Gabby’s phone on August 30th that said “No service in Yosemite” -obviously she was never even in California, since her body was found in Wyoming. It is highly unlikely if she killed herself she would go to the trouble of telling her mom she was in another state. The only person that text served was Brian because it bought him more time to get back to Florida.
yes good point
Reminds me of the Chris Watts' case. He sent a text to his murdered wife to make it look as if she'd gone off somewhere with the kids. All the while, his kids were in huge oil tanks where he put them.
Yea unbelievably sinister and calculating! How does the human brain come up with those plots? And think they can get away with it?
I yhink they addressed that
👍🏻 that and the fact The guy told the cops they’d been on the road 4 or 5 months when it had been less than 2 months.
I’m glad Dr. Grande brought up the friend’s comments about Brian hearing voices and having “episodes.” Hearing voices is a symptom of schizophrenia, a disease with average age of onset in men in the late teens/early twenties. I’m not attempting to diagnose the guy and nor should anyone else, but I won’t be surprised if this one piece of information from her ends up being very significant when all of the facts are known. A tragic story.
Could he plead insanity?
I wonder if Brian is suffering from bipolar disorder? People who are bipolar can hear voices when they are suffering from depression or going through a manic phase. Has Brian been diagnosed by a psychiatrist for this problem? If he has, was he taking any medication for it? Yet, it does not excuse him for his alleged crime against Gabby. I am so sorry for everyone involved in this case, especially the families.
@@markdouglas1601 It’s true that schizophrenics aren’t violent by nature and that’s a fair point to make, since it is a stereotype worth debunking. That said, his apparent awareness that Gabby is gone (she’s no longer with him) and his seeming dissociation from concern about that is strange. He’s either extremely callous or, I am guessing more likely, dissociated from what took place, at least on some level. Put someone with undiagnosed and therefore untreated schizophrenia in a highly stressful circumstance, for months, with just one other individual who may also be struggling with their own mental health crisis, it’s not a reach to speculate that this might be the very cocktail of circumstances that could lead to violence. A fight that got out of hand. Him leaving her mid-fight in the park to fend for herself because he couldn’t deal with the stress of another argument. These are all possibilities. This is pure speculation of course, but it seems to me far more plausible than that he’s a psychopath who has managed to hide his psychopathy for 23 years. There seems no evidence of that, at least so far. His behavior is irrational. There’s a strong appetite for believing people are “evil” when sometimes mental illness really is the explanation. I won’t be surprised if that’s the case here.
Early psychosis!
I watched his IG account carefully. It seems he was quite highly creative (w. no judgment of the produced art) and he seemed to love her intensely AND to care more for adventure, fun, for her (talking what he was ‘showing’) and earth/environment (probably a sciences curious) than for pple. I am quite knowledgeable when it comes to cluster B pathologies and my belief is he was actually more of a *sociopath* and she was her ‘connection’ to society. She was more of an extrovert and he clearly is more of an Introvert. And i believe both of them may have had narcissistic traits… now, simply add what a ‘man is supposed to be’ PLUS… the Cop incident added a lot of pressure.. and you have the recipe for Drama.
Thank you for this thoughtful analysis and for clearly pointing out the red flags every young lady/woman should be aware of in a new or ongoing relationship. Anyone can fall prey to this type of abusive relationship. They always start out as the nicest guy, night in armor, the perfect boyfriend. It's only a show to get you and once they have you that's when they start to control, isolate, manipulate and abuse you either away from others eyes or in ways that are not easily recognizable.
I was in a relationship like that. Boy was she a good manipulator. So good that you become too focused on yourself - what can I do to be better. How can I improve. I just need to try harder. All the while not realizing what is actually going on. So yes, anyone can fall into these relationships. Not just women.
@Coleen Goodell - You are spot on. Tragic it cost her life. 💔 🙏🏼
@@blackmanops3749 yea I had a fake female friend who abused, isolated, manipulated, exploited, and gaslighted me. She did it to a lot of people.
They start off with great stories and what is called love bombing
OMG These were two young children.
Its crazy to see my home town blowing up with such a huge story and happening 3 miles from my house. Been following this real close. His parents basically gave him a 3 day head start to dip out then told them a misdirection search area.
Yep
Check out the Frederick Russell case of a couple of decades ago. His family may have facilitated his escape from justice, although he was finally caught by authorities.
They'll lose everything hiring his defense attorney, they can't just call or wire him $$$. He's a camper not a survivalist he's got a few days before he's flushed out that's if he hasn't taken the easy way yet.
And the parents seem like the types to remortgage the house to pay the lawyer.
But his car was at the misdirected place
nice vid, thanks As a retired detective, brian seemed to be the control guy on the traffic stop and Gabby was the insecure victim, trying to protect her abuser and not get him in trouble since she knew what would happen if she pissed him off. I did not blame the cops like many do, but I did see it different than most. I have a playlist on my take as a cop called Gabby Murder Investigation, if you care for a cops perspective. You gave me more info than I had so good job on vid.
This. Exactly what I thought when I saw the footage. It looked like the victim protecting the abuser. Not the first time I saw that happening and certainly not the last time.
I blame the cops and the insecure victim doesn't scratch and grab steering wheels "Detective". How many case did you actually solve?
Appreciate your perspective, however didn't the cops get the memo from 911 dispatch? System failure somewhere
@@spudbencer7179 Plus she said that he didn´t believe she could become a good vlogger, or something like that. He didn´t like the idea of her being successful... sounds very narcissistic to me. Even here in Germany this case is in the news....
But isn’t this still a case of police failing? If you could see he was the controlling abuser, but they couldn’t, why?? That’s the issue. Police are not trained to pick up on this. What are your thoughts on what police should be trained on, and what do you think would have been the appropriate action they should have taken? What would you have done? And what can we learn from this?
Maybe police departments need to start having a counselor on staff to go out on these domestic calls with officers.
Maybe if the police got the proper information. I don't see a counselor helping in anyway. Most counselors I've met. I have met hundreds of counselors over the years are absolutely worthless. Because of liberal schools. Taking classes will never explain what it's like to be a addict. Do you understand what I'm saying.
They are working on it in several cities.
@@richardhenry1969 NO
@@richardhenry1969 show me statistics and leave politics out of it.
My opinion, police officers should know the DSM-5 from front to cover. They should also have several psych classes with their training and yes, domestic violence counselors at the scene.
Calling the police and telling them someone is threatening you, they have said they can't do anything till the person actually does something. Do you know how many lives could have been saved if they would have done something about those threats.. or just knowing who's the victim and who's the abuser, after what I've been through personally and the knowledge I have gained through research, I clearly see who was the abuser and who was the victim in this case.
@@nancyappel5645 How do you make a statement like that then say leave politics out. When everyone knows democrat run cities instead of better training and vetting they do the opposite. I don't believe it's the police job to consult people or bring a counselor. It's their job to separate people so something bad doesn't happen. People shouldn't need a second mother. Just like it's not the police job to punish a criminal. We have other systems for that.
“It's the little things that are important, Jimmy. *It's the little things that get you caught.* ” -Denzel Washington
It's the details that matter that's right
True, like the serial killer who got caught because of a parking ticket.
@@vegasgirl3538 what’s his name?
@@user-ko5xc7hs6v David Berkowitz, aka, "Son of Sam."
When Gabby smiles, she looks like a ray of sunshine. Im so sorry she met this terrible fate.
She met Brian!! She was far more attractive, you’d never expect to see someone like Gabby with a man like that! He knew his days were numbered especially when her blog took off!!!
I havent cried like this..um ever. Not ever, not even for Kurt Cobain
I know, she is/was absolutely gorgeous. She reminds me a bit of Gigi Hadid. Rest in peace, sweet Gabby
Gabby is One of God's Angels who incarnated on Earth with a special message to share. She's precious 😊💕😊 and oh so loved.
@@adakadak1012 I read somewhere she considered herself an empath. Perhaps she felt sorry for Brian and thought she could help him.
If this analysis is fitting to this situation, I was in such relationship for 10 years. Getting out of it was terrifying and it is a miracle I escaped. He went on to shoot the next woman that entered into a relationship with him. She survived and he received only several months of probation for his crime. I have zero interaction with him now and am so thankful for myself and my daughter.
I was involved with this type of man, also. It was terrifying trying to leave the relationship as he was so verbally aggressive. Never tell these types what you hold important as they will go after it with fury in their hearts. His next girlfriend called me, he was very abusive towards her. It was a very enlightening conversation.
Wow Michelle. I am so glad that you have managed to get away. What a horrible thing. Keep safe 💗💗 thanks for sharing
Jeez, I’m glad you’re okay
Good on you for successfully getting out alive. This is all pretty obvious. When I first saw the police footage aa few things were apparent , this is an incongruous relationship, she's a lovely beautiful girl, he's a shot. bald brooding guy. You can see that he's controlling and afraid she'll leave him. The interview with Gabby's friend confirms all of it. We've known guys like this and relationships like this. The girl needs/tries to leave, but he has his hooks in her. Dr Grande is correct, this often ends in valence and tragedy. The is the Star 80 phenomenon.
I agree with the others Michelle, you are lucky to be alive. Your situation almost certainly would have ended up very bad for you. Thank God you got out of it.
So interesting to hear this. It makes sense that his mental health was getting worse over time. The book filled his mind with a story that took him from reality so he didn't have to focus on the fact that she wasn't really his fiance and they weren't getting married after all. It's like he knew the relationship was over, and no one was going to have her if he couldn't.
Too much acid can do that
Well, it has now been confirmed that the body is that of Gabby's and that she was murdered....so even more pointing at Laundrie now. They just need to find him.
Playing devil's advocate.. they only confirm she was killed not murdered.
No doubt he killed her but was it murder? That remains to be seen. Maybe it was accidental and he did a runner?
Seems he had a solid motive though.. if she was pregnant maybe he didn't want to be tied down, he was a drifter, a nomad and he could see that as a threat to his future.
@@bemusedkidney8619 they said homicide
I believe Brian Laundrie is going to kill himself (if he hasn't already).
Don't know this for sure, just a hunch.
@@AstarionWifey Yep, the killing of a person by another person... doesn't imply any intent, still could be accidental. Unlikely but still possible.
@@bemusedkidney8619 if he wanted a jury to buy the old “it was an accident” theory, one of the oldest in the defense attorney handbook, his actions are going to make it very tough for a jury to believe that idea.
I am a survivor of a 15 yr domestic violence. I left that toxic relationship and definitely don’t know how I wasn’t killed. Thankful and sad 😢 at the same time for the others that were not so fortunate. Emotional, and mental abuse , plus physical added to that can be extremely debilitating to a person’s ability to think critically and make decisions. It’s a dangerous place to be. 🥲 Gabby suffered.
You made it out, I made it out, HEY GIRL, WE MADE IT OUT!! 🙌🏼🙏🏼💕
You realised it after 15 years that you had to go?
@@nikolaos1991 don't do that 😒 if you don't get it, judgement shouldn't replace your lack of understanding.. 15 years or 15 days, she got OUT and I celebrate her
Hey Gabriela. I am so so sorry to hear about your horrific experience and so pleased that you have come through alive. I have also been in a very similar situation. I think that DV survivors have felt this one pretty hard. I don't think that it is a matter of downplaying harm, to be determined that such a shining, smiling light like Gabby should be remembered with that focus. And I think that we all know that it is a miracle that she was found. I felt just over a day before that she would show them where she was. I don't know whether that is a coping mechanism. But then she was found exactly like I felt. But I just really felt like getting home, and giving her family that certainty and closure was so important for her, because she was such a good girl. Yes- lots of assumption and delusion, but it seems like a more fitting memory to assign to her, than picturing a grizzly demise.
@Amy Weinholtz One of the most awesome things within my DV group is that there is no differentation made between physical abuse and things like coercion, alienation, financial control and gaslighting. Everything is just domestic violence- it is all domestic violence.
I knew the outcome would be bad when Gabby took the blame for distracting Brian and when she said Brian kept telling her to "calm down". It was as if she didn't make it her fault there would be hell to pay with Brian afterwards. And Brian telling Gabby to calm down shows he is attempting to modify her behavior for his own purposes or comfort level. There was plenty of evidence of his controlling behavior on view for the world to see. And also her learned and adaptive behavior to attempt to combat or deal with his insecurities.
I agree. Bad relationship that should have stopped.
@@crochunter35 What did he do to Gabby?
spot on i thought the same thing after watching first 30 some mins of the police cam stop
@@crochunter35 ok Timmy tough nuts
Where could she have gone? It seemed she was not only from a broken home but also insecure where she was ( living with his parents).
People often say to leave an abuser but it is often almost impossible physically or psychologically to do so. Then, there's the heartbreaking part of not being wanted. ?
Poor Gabby. She just wanted to do something with her life.
She spread so much sunshine and smiles to all for the short time she was here. Sad that her selfish boyfriend etc did not have more empathy for her.
All she had was that little traveling van that she tried to keep so neat and clean.
Heartbreaking .
God rest her soul, and may she have double joy in heaven someday.
💔🙏❤
I thought the $200 was just overkill as he really really wanted to get away, but the alibi thing does make sense. Seems very smart, too smart. I think he was just panicked and trying to get far away as well as convince the couple he wasn’t dangerous
She wasn’t dead at the time he was taking a ride. They’re saying she was talking to her mom and posting likes in Instagram. He would have gotten back to the van quite late if he had not been picked up and would have had to walk a lot to get back to the campsite. You can’t declare someone missing until after 24-48 hours, so that means he may have waited there and she didn’t return, so he headed back to Florida alone because Gabby didn’t show up. How are you supposed to look for someone in a park that massive? He waited ... ?
Maybe he went to the woods because he now sensed something bad happened to her? No joke sometimes there’s consequences when you leave someone behind. Like they can get killed by psychos - wrong place, wrong time kind of thing. 😖 it’s a horrible consequence to leave someone alone for guys who walk off don’t even think of the bad things that can happen to a person. 🤯 if that’s what happened it was pure idiot.
@@CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTiger are you saying he didn't kill her? Why did he lawyer up before she was reported missing?
@@CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTiger - When someone (like your FIANCE) goes missing, you:
1.) Contact a PARK RANGER. They don't have to wait 24 hours to search for them.
2.) Contact law enforcement. This is done in most states after someone has been missing for 24 hours.
3.) Contact HER parents.
4.) Search for her throughout the park -- especially by contacting others nearby.
Apparently, Brian didn't do any of this before driving to Florida.
Agree!
@@CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTiger
i was considering that theory as well ..... how come no one else has brought this up..... it is a possibility....... i have made this mistake a couple of times in my 70 years on this planet with a couple of girlfriends that treated me with disrespect,, so i just bailed on them and left them them alone in a sketchy situation,,, and thank God they ended up ok...... bad decision on my part..... i am more grown up now in a better way...... never leave them until they are in a safe secure place.....r.g.
He just returns home by himself and arbitrarily gets a lawyer? Nooo, not sus at all!
The craziest part to me is that he came back without her, in HER van. I mean immediately it's like, "What have you done with her?!" I can't believe he wasn't taken in for questioning immediately.
@@moderncrunchymom *" I can't believe he wasn't taken in for questioning immediately."*
He was wise enough to lawyer up. So he's certainly not going to _voluntarily_ speak to police! 😏
May have psychosis and in need of a mental health assessment.
unfortunately acting sus doesn’t get you a guilty charge. it needs to be proven beyond a reasonable doubt
@@moderncrunchymom 100% agree .
Even an outcome that was somewhat expected is still so terribly tragic.
Gabby deserved better
And he was constantly asking the officers: “what is she saying, what is she saying?”
Was afraid to be exposed, but had probably intimidated her enough not to tell the cops what actually had taken place.
A person raised in a healthy household would easily find red flags in toxic situations or individuals. The fact that he could manipulate her so easily and get away with it indicates that she did not value herself enough.
Excellent assessment of what is known about this case! Brian tried to make it look like she was the problem in the relationship! He very calmly tried to control every situation. Gabby was so afraid of his outburst of uncontrollable aggression toward her, she could only cry as he made it look like all the bad stuff was her fault! He killed her in a fit of rage and then took her van and left her to the elements in an isolated spot. He rushed home to mama to help him fix his problem! He is now either in Mexico hiding or he actually went into the reserve and committed suicide when everything came crashing down on him!! So sad for Gabby and her family!! They may never find him!!!
Hang on a minute. He could be in hospital.
The emotional impact of this case is being felt far and wide. Watching this in Australia. Praying for Gabby’s family. 🙏🏻
This happens every day in Australia...high rate of narcissistic men abusing women and killing them in Australia. You should include Australians in your prayers.
@@Rubylove48 it’s worldwide 🙄
@@ann-mariepaliukenas19 australia is worse than most other countries, and the culture gaslights women who speak up, they still protect abusers and think abuse is the norm.
@@Rubylove48 well thats terrible im
sorry.
Jesus you guys that’s not what he meant..
Gabby's friend Rose and her description of Brian says it all.
They don't like eachother though so her view of him is going to skew negative and he'd say terrible things about her.
@@cormacsugrue7135 He's obviously a POS coward. This is all pretty obvious. When I first saw the police footage aa few things were apparent , this is an incongruous relationship, she's a lovely beautiful girl, he's a shot. bald brooding guy. You can see that he's controlling and afraid she'll leave him. The interview with Gabby's friend confirms all of it. We've known guys like this and relationships like this. The girl needs/tries to leave, but he has his hooks in her. Dr Grande is correct, this often ends in valence and tragedy. The is the Star 80 phenomenon.
Spot on. I thought the same thing about the hitchhiking and him specifically mentioning "he was camping alone WITHOUT his fiancé" and then he says where Gabby is. The minute I saw that video I thought that was a guy trying to establish an alibi. Patti Bee, M.S., LPC, Madison, WI
Thanks for concluding with a somber reminder that it’s _not_ enough to feel content throughout a relationship _sometimes,_ let alone most of time. Feeling distanced to such a case is normal, yet such relationships end in tragedy/severity all the time.
Important lessons to learn from Gabby’s tragic life and death.
1. Based on the body camera video posted by the officers who pulled Gabby and her fiancé over for suspicious driving, some viewers assumed Gabby was suffering from mental illness and Brian was the stable one.
2. Some people may have assumed both partners were equally abusive and equally at fault - the old “it takes two” myth that doesn’t really apply to most abusive situations.
3. Some people may have even assumed Gabby was the abuser and Brian was the victim.
4. These assumptions are classic. Why? Because, in many cases, the target manages to keep things together until her breaking point, at which time others may see her crying or hear her yelling or see her breaking, and then they assume she’s “crazy.”
5. Meanwhile, the abuser plays the part of the poor, patient partner who has to deal with this crazy person. But all the while, he’s been acting very differently behind closed doors, pushing her to this point intentionally and feeding on her emotional break. He LOVES to see evidence that he has hurt her. He LOVES to see her pain.
6. For this reason, “breaking her” has been his goal from the start. It may take him hours or weeks or months or even years to break her, but he won’t stop until he gets that reaction, and then he’ll point the finger and say, “See? She’s crazy. I’m just trying to keep her calm.” And then he’ll do it again. And again. And again.
7. As a result, some people will buy into that false narrative. Even the target. Which brings me to my next point.
8. In the video, we see Gabby making many excuses for Brian’s behavior, and she takes all the blame for everything he does.
9. We also see Brian blaming Gabby and saying he was just trying to keep her calm.
10. This is also the norm for victims of long-standing abuse. A target becomes conditioned to believe everything the abuser does is her fault.
11. Also, she clearly doesn’t want Brian to be in trouble. She’d rather pay the price and protect the man she loves. Also, remember she truly believes he only acted this way because of her, so she doesn’t want him to be blamed. This is also the norm.
12. Smart officers see right through this. Others buy the cover-up story. (And because some officers are also abusers, they all too frequently side with the abuser even when they know exactly what’s going on.)
13. I actually credit the police in Gabby’s situation. They were calm, they separated the couple, they interviewed them individually, they split them up for the night, they did everything right. I’m sure the officer has tremendous guilt about the end result and wonders if he could have prevented it, but I don’t blame the officers in this case. I was actually pretty surprised and impressed with how well they treated both Brian and Gabby (and, sadly, I was thinking how rare it is to see that.)
14. Many people have been shocked by Brian’s family’s refusal to cooperate with police. I’m not shocked at all. Let’s look at that a little more closely.
15. I’m also not surprised to learn that Gabby lived with the Laundrie family for a year. We all see this family will do anything to protect their son, even at the cost of an innocent young woman who was a real part of their family and soon to be their daughter in law. While most of us can certainly understand them wanting to protect their child, they crossed a moral line when Gabby went missing.
16. But I think it goes deeper than that. I think it shows them as a system of enablers who not only allowed Brian to abuse Gabby over a long term (which probably led to her intense anxiety) but also a system of gaslighters who were probably always shifting the truth to keep Gabby confused and make her believe she’s the problem. She was caught in an entire system of abuse. And once you’re in that web, it’s very very very difficult to see a way out.
17. I imagine they probably contributed to her abuse from the start and encouraged their son’s abusive behaviors by rewarding him, making excuses for him, blaming Gabby, flipping the script, and keeping her in the fog that breaks down a person’s psyche and spirit over time.
18. Gabby and Brian had been together since their teens. This is also common. These immature relationships work beautifully when both partners grow together and mature emotionally. But when one wants to keep the other down, naive, and under his control…and the other is growing, learning, and maturing, it doesn’t work.
19. We hear Gabby tell the officer that Brian didn’t think she could do her travel blog. It seems clear that he didn’t believe in her and was trying to make her not believe in herself.
20. She also says he didn’t like her working and that he locked her out of the van because she wouldn’t calm down. But when you listen to the full video, it sounds like he was upset because they’d spent too much time at the coffee shop with her working on her website when he wanted to go hiking. She wasn’t in her seat when he was ready to leave. Control issues?! He squeezed her face with his hand in anger. He cut her down and criticized her, verbally abusing her until she was a wreck of tears. He was breaking her spirit, intentionally.
21. Why? Because her focus wasn’t 100% on him. And because she had found a job she enjoyed and was good at and that allowed her to connect with other people, when he wanted her all to himself.
22. She now had this one little piece of her life that he couldn’t completely control, so he wanted to get rid of that. It angered him. He punished her for it. See the pattern?
23. The overall takeaway? When you see someone crying like this, don’t assume she’s crazy. Don’t buy into the false narrative given by the abuser. Don’t believe the cover-up story by the target who has been conditioned to carry all the blame and shame. And don’t assume she’s going to be okay. She just may end up your next recovered body.
24. If you or someone you love are in an unhealthy relationship, please don’t assume it will get better in time. I haven’t heard one single story where it got better. Not one. Not with therapy. Not with church. Not with prayer or forgiveness or complete surrender. Nothing works when the abuser is determined to destroy that target. He will not stop until she is erased from this world or from her life. And in many cases, he’ll walk away without any consequences.
Please don’t let the next Gabby be you or someone you love.
By: Julie Perkins Cantrell
Domestic violence hotline: 1-800-799-7233
~Northern Mommy
Is there anyway that the law makers in Washington DC can change the laws from this case?
Reactive abuse. I lived it. Everyone thought I was crazy. He told everyone I was crazy. He was horribly abusive until the second we were in someone else's presence. Then, the smile and charm instantly emerged. One time, I ended up locking myself in his car with my dog at Walmart while his ex-gf, who stalked me for three years, threw a flailing, stomping, screaming fit outside my window. He stood across the aisle and chatted and laughed with her friends like nothing was happening. He said he thought it was funny. I didn't think it was funny at all. LE would do nothing about the situation. I had to carry pepper spray.
That was awesome. Thank you for your time and effort (Amarillo Grande too).
Thank you for taking the time to write this. You are right. Keep talking.
This!!!! All of it! God bless your insightful and extremely accurate message. 🙏
Thank you, as always, for your calm assessment. This case is incredibly sad, but I'm equally saddened by the sheer amount of abuse stories in the comment section. We live in this day and age, and toxic relationships are apparently still a very common thing. We need to do so much more in regards to prevention, teaching everyone to recognize the red flags, and how to help someone else caught in one.
Lastly, the fact that that so many of you managed to get away from your abusers gives me hope. You are all amazing, strong, wonderful people.
Thank you, I needed that last part of your comment today 🙏🏼
The first time I was beaten up when I was 16. It's all I knew for a long time. Guys who were the most sweet in public were vicious in private. Been thrown out of a moving car, left abandoned with no car, hit many times. I also was in 2 emotionally psychologically abusive marriages. I don't know how to be in a normal relationship.
A very thoughtful comment, and I hear you and appreciate what I've become so accustomed to, it's almost sad that it is so familiar. We all have our histories, some harsher than others. That most of us feel wary about this guy is not just solely prejudice. There are some red flags we unlike some of the officials early on can't as easily dismiss. But you're right, the fact that most of us are relating to parts of this and see the likelihood of violence more than some innocuous explanation confirms how common it still is to be silent when reaching out to another (objective) human being could spare this worst outcome for the life cut short and a family that will never be the same. If nothing else snaps people out of abusive relationships maybe a moment of clarity when the love that we know our family has for us tells us this is not the way our life is going to end. That helped me--I will not have my parents forever haunted by my last minutes on Earth. So even before the self esteem to know we deserve better kicks in there's something inside that says I will not leave this memory for my parents to bear, that until I know I deserve better, let me take someone else's word for it... I wish someone had reached in and taken Gabby out of a controlling possibly destructive relationship she didn't know she didn't deserve. I'm so sad for her right now even before I know for sure he's responsible. On some level I'm afraid he is.
YES! we NEED to actively discuss DV/IPV, utilize fact based data, and actually provide the resources that one needs when involved with a toxic abuser. i say this as a survivor myself.
☺️ 🙌🏼 You as well. 💘
He minimizes her “little blog”. That’s a red flag he’s insecure in my mind. He exudes toxic masculinity. I think he knew she was gonna outgrow him. She wanted to better herself and her life. A secure man would be encouraging and proud of his girlfriend. A toxic guy is the opposite. Teach your sons to be better than this. RIP sweet girl. 💔
To me that’s one of the biggest indicators to me . She pretty much took his ass on this trip of a lifetime that she wanted to experience , and made it a nightmare . He beat her screamed at her slapped her and god knows what else before he killed her and it’s documented on a timeline now . That poor girl just wanted the trip of a lifetime and had hell the entire time and ended up killed by that same guy . The betrayal that she must’ve been feeling , the loneliness . It hurts me she can’t see all of the love she’s receiving , she truly touched so many peoples hearts. He was so wrong when he diminished her dreams , she did it , she touched the world and even though it shouldn’t have been this way, he thought he was silencing her , but really he did the exact opposite .
It was a little blog though, they had one upload.
@@victoriaross3263 Not the point - the minimizing of her endeavor is the point.
Both men and women can be psychopaths, so EVERYONE needs to learn to identify the signs.
@@J.gwenhwyfar True!! Also, it’s time to evolve beyond the toxic masculinity of decades past.
Been following this story on the news since the beginning, this whole incident is having my head spin, so much information yet so many questions still yet needing answered. I just hope he is found and brought to justice, it’s not a matter of “if” but “when” RIP Gabby.
... when Brian says to the police officer...I hope she's only saying good things about me...
that's when I knew... RIP with the angels Gabby xox
Yes. So many people missed that. I watched the full body cam footage last night. I already saw the signs of abuse but when he said that it solidified my feelings.
The twists and turns in this tragic case definitely need your expert opinions Dr Grande, thank you for doing this update
Is it really necessary that this particular man publicly discusses this particular case? I don't see how.
agreed, it is so confusing
@@jumpinjohnnyruss Well, he certainly provides solid, well-thought-out insight. However, he is a mental health professional, so if we're going to nit-pick, I suppose I'm not sure I would consider his opinions in regards to criminal justice to be "expert" opinions. Either way, I wouldn't completely dismiss them, as I would still consider them to be highly educated opinions. Definitely more valuable than the vast majority of these armchair investigators who seem to be launching their unfounded assumptions all over the place.
@@Strype13 mmmm???well Dr. G can analyze mental illness as cleary seen in her rapid speaking,,and fearfullness,his speaking as well yes I have watched the full vid on them being pulled over,its trippy, and bizarre,mmm I just hope she's ok....damn it!!
@@Meilk27 they both were supposed to be taking meds.Mental
The Petitos should have reported Gabby missing or lost during the first few days of September as irrespective of whether Brian was back in Florida or not, the fact that Gabby was incommunicado after August 30th and Brian being back in Florida without her and refusing to talk, do make the situation very suspicious indeed.
AUGUST 27TH They were seen at a restaurant as well. Where they say Brain was angry and Gabby was in the van crying.
He was also reading a book titled "Lullabye" which is about a serial killer.
Anyone who needs to hear this, you aren’t crazy- the other person probably is. Find help stay with a friend and don’t look back. Psychological abuse is real, you are not alone.
Psychological abuse is the worst, most insidious kind of abuse. It leads to life-long trauma, and no one sympathizes with the victim unless they have been abused too.
That goes both ways and both sexes. I've seen crazy violent and controlling women. Too, sometimes if you think your crazy you are!
@Over It I didn’t say they couldn’t have both been in the wrong- but she didn’t have to die.
@Over It If someone hits you you have the right to defend yourself. Which is what she did.
@Over It True. They seemingly both hit each other as it was reported that he was seen smacking her across the face.
i find it interesting how gabby’s mother received the text on august 30th that said “no service in yosemite” yet gabby’s body was found nowhere near yosemite.
This!!!!!!!!!!!
They assumed "Yosemity" was a spellcheck error that meant to say "Yellowstone" - but they do not believe that message came from Gabby - the grammar and punctuation was inconsistent and just felt "off" about the whole thing.
I think Brian planned to mislead her Family/Friends. But, bc he is a Narcissist: gave up the premise. Otherwise, why did he come home so early? Also, I think it shows a premeditated fantasy. He didn't wait for a better time to live out a fantasy.
@@Nice-qi5cf he also lied to police saying they’d been traveling and living in the van for 4 or 5 months when it was a little over one month.
You're very right. I once dated a guy while I turned 18 I moved out and in with him... Very controlling, very strange, and abusive and it ended badly
Dr Grande still manages dry humour about a crappy movie even in grim time. I am so sorry about what happened to Gabby, it's so sad. RIP beautiful Gabby😔🙏
"Shes staying behind to work on our social media page" damn thats a horror movie line
I wonder if Miranda asked him anything about their page/channel. She didn't mention it so prob not
I'm normally suspect of internet experts who have no first-hand knowledge of the people or circumstances of which (or of whom) they publicly opine, but Doc Grande seems to stay humble and just report the facts and analysis as he sees it, sans sensationalism. Good job, Grande.
Brian is completely a narcissist! No empathy, jealousy, controlling and yes leaving her behind showed lots of narcissistic traits and yet She was the victim! She showed fear all over her body language!!
Soooo sad!! There was no one there to help her😢
We all knew the outcome before Gabby's body was found, unfortunately. The way Brian acted gave it all away right from the get-go and I hope he is caught and serves the rest of his life behind bars. He is such a coward to be on the run like he is but he will be found and prosecuted to the fullest extent including for the cover-up and for leading police on a wild goose chase. His parents need to answer for being complicit in the crime after the fact too.
I mean who wants to go to jail willingly? Lol
I mean who wants to go to jail willingly? Lol
I mean who wants to go to jail willingly?
She was conditioned by his persistent sabotage of her joy to believe she was to blame for how he effected her mood. He literally wanted her happiness and her joy for himself, so took it away from her repeatedly. He only felt happy if she was sad.
Yes yes
If it turns out that the body is indeed of Gabby, and that Brian is the killer, whether law enforcement find dead or alive, I think Brian's parents and his lawyer should be held accountable for cover up.
The police need Brian to air his dirty Laundrie
@@keonblizzy3706 ok it was funny the first time I read your post...now it's getting a little old
Well, you are an imbecile. Exercising your rights can never be converted to a crime. He has no obligation to help the police, or even to speak at all - and that's not even close to "cover up" (it's called conspiracy btw).
@F. Aduke Femi-Babalola Well you could've actually listened in your civics class instead of goofing off.. It's because of people like you that our constitution is being eroded. Don't be offended, just fix it
False they dont know yet if he did it
Unfortunately Gabby and Brian had a toxic relationship, and this kind of situation usually ends in tears and sometimes even tragically like this one. My heart and prayers go to Gabby's family! I feel sorry for Gabby as well since a young life has been cut short!
The leading cause of death for women under 40 in the United States is homicide committed by an intimate partner. Think about how staggering that is. We’re more likely to die at the hands of the person we love, than accident, disease or any other numerous reason young women are dying.
It isn’t a “toxic relationship” - it is domestic violence and it needs to be confronted head-on without the description that imply both partners are violent. Gabby was abused.
Oo
O
P
I think we should think that actually hugging someone will calm them down faster than isolating them.
Brian's behavior has been bizarre from when this story first gained national headlines and I suspected murder (not premeditated, but accidental after a physical altercation). So far, the evidence that keeps coming forward has more and more supported my original hypothesis.
I really wish I had been wrong. 😭
I agree with it being accidental.
I’m pretty sure he killed her in the 2nd degree, by strangulation. On August 29, Gabby never answer her friend’s call friend about discussing a meet-up plan at Yellowstone National Park.
I think this is the most relevant aspect of this timeline. That meeting might have been what triggered the fatal fight. That friend claimed Brian was jealous & controlling whenever they got together and even went as far as stealing her ID and making her delete a tracking app so her friend can’t locate her. Brian may have believed Gabby would try to leave with the friend. She may have even said it in a fight. That threat may have been what set Brian over the edge or led to him being so hostile and paranoid that another violent fight broke out and caused her death via strangulation.
@@Oceanrocks121 Probably right on the money.
I think it was an accidentally death too..Gabby wasn't scared to fight back that's for damn sure the scratches on his face proved that..unfortunately a female is no match in a physical fight with a man!
At first look I thought dv murder....but now I believe its premeditated. Covert veiled preplanned. Either way Gabby is gone. And the whole skit so far is way way way too convenient for bl and his family. To me the love was one sided coming from gabby to bl and his family. She the aggressive personality he the unsure tag along with creep to his body language. Her video making efforts may have been taking too much of her time that he wanted. I dont think he wanted to really marry her when they set off on the trip. I sense some jealousy from his corner. He wanted vacation , was using her for vacation, but she was on work more than vacation. I sense he was trying to change that, change the situation.
This was such a stupid, needless tragedy, and it's so disheartening and depressing to me. I believe it's another dark reflection of our very sick society.
I appreciate Dr. Grande's analysis and opinion, and it's good that he's sticking with this story.
We are all capable of this. After all, let's not forget perfectly good German citizens were much more energetic than they expected of themselves
Yup agree
@@KingoftheJiangl nope, not true, I’d jump off a bridge before I’d hurt someone I truly care for. Speak for yourself.
Society has always been sick, it’s no worse now.
True it’s just more publicized due to media/social medla
I keep remembering her first contact with the police,she went on about how she was OCD and that she got too easily upset .Who tells the police something like thst about them selves. I thought that her comments sounded as if she was being convinced by another that she was at fault for any issues .
I think she tought Brian was in trouble for speeding and hitting the curb. Which he sould have been.
Agreed. She sounded to me like someone who receives constant ridicule, never feels validated, and suffers from gaslighting and control. I found it odd that she so quickly took all the blame. To me it just seemed like she was terrified. Terrified he would get in trouble, terrified about what was happening, and more than a little confused. I wouldn't be surprised if all of those things were true. What kind of person takes someone's keys and means of travel, leaving them stranded in the middle of a trip? That would be scary for anyone. Who wouldn't freak out? Clearly by the time officers arrived she was in an emotional state. But Brian was so calm. Of course he was, because he was in control of the whole situation. I also found it odd that the first call to the police was a witness describing him as the aggressor yet Gabby seemed to take responsibility for the whole thing. I noticed also during the interview it seemed like Brian was playing all the right cards of being the "nice guy". His demeanor at the time given the situation kinda turned my stomach. So calm, in control and at times it seemed like he was enjoying the attention/drama. I think most people under the circumstances would be intimidated by all the police presence (guilty or not) - he didn't seem jarred at all. I wish this had a better end. My heart goes out to her family. Just heartbreaking.
Problem is tons of law enforcement are narcissists. That’s why they chose the career. They crave power and control over others. They easily pass the mental health exams because they lack empathy and the same depth of emotion. It’s to their advantage. Makes them seem emotionally fit to do the job.
Incredibly toxic relationship fueled by a desire to be known for a happy relationship, feelings don't allows lead down the path we need, I've seen people remain in toxic relationships for years. She didn't deserve to die but Brian needs to come forward now. Too many strange coincidences to call this an accident.
Typical social media BS, messed up people pretending to be deliriously happy. Saddest is they suck other kids trying to escape reality into a fantasy to do the same. Like these happy solo female backpackers who end up raped and beheaded in a foreign country, or are never found at all.
@@nhmooytis7058
You said it right. I believe she was the one to posted that type of facade just for her fans. I think it's a terrible tragedy for both.
There are tons of people depressed because their own life is not as grand as the made up lives they are reading about. They fail to realize those picture perfect lives they look at have a limited link to reality.
They'll find him deceased maybe. Suicide.
@@patrickhenry4675 limited isn’t right. Just façades.
Your analysis was definitely more interesting than “Annihilation.” It’s very sad that a beautiful, loving young life has been lost! My heart goes out to Gabby’s family. Justice for Gabby.
The movie may have been bad, but the book was excellent.
My analysis is Brian killed her because Gabby told him the engagement is off.
@@kcet1948 Nah he probably got tired of her shit. She looked very childish to me.
Here's what's happened, although no one wants to admit it. Cute little blonde girl with a nice arsss......has always got her way. She's privledged little pretty white girl that has always manipulated people into doing what she wanted. And if she didn't get her way , she would start crying and throwing a fit.....start talking gibberish (pretend she's crazy) and play the victim. She's always been cute and always got what she wanted (especially if men were around). Then one day she was throwing a fit on her boyfriend (no one else was around) so he gave her a solid left hook in the mouth. She fell down and cracked her head on a rock (or something along those lines) and is now dead. Sad?? sure.......welcome to gynocentrism run a muck.
In on one account, it was said that the engagement was not really off, but because her mother disapproved they only told her mother that they were not going to get married. That was to calm the mother but their intention remained to get married.
Prayers to Gabby's family and loved ones, just heart shattering!!!! She was absolute sunshine 😭😭😭😭
How do you know she was absolute sunshine ? On the video she looked like she was the ABUSER
@Mrs. Pearson my dad says I'm absolute sunshine does that make me an absolute sunshine ?
SIMPLY THE BEST:
Dr. Grande: Information you presented involving the Gabby Petito and Brian Laundrie unfolding story, has been invaluable to an audience interested in facts - not speculation; expert analysis, not hype. Thank you.
OMG!!!! A video at 10:30 pm!?!?! Yes, please!!!
On a serious note thank you for the update. This case has taken a horrifying turn. Definitely not how we were hoping to have found Gabby.
Wait, what? 10:30pm? Am I living in an alternate univ...
Oh yea...time zones...forgot about those hahaha...
I'll see myself out of your comment
I think it’s interesting how the Moab police continuously state that the august 15th incident was a “mental health crisis” instead of a “crime”….I think it should be noted that many situations, including this one, can easily be classified as BOTH 🤷🏼♀️
I think the reason they didn’t want to address it as a crime is bc if they were going to arrest or ticket someone it would have to be both of them as Brian had some scratches on him. They knew she didn’t do anything wrong but didn’t have evidence that he was hurting her.
If you actually watched that video you would know he was the only one with scratches. If anything, she would be the one arrested.
@@xsimbyx I did watch this video. And the entire hour and twenty-some minute police bodycam footage as well…several times actually. I agree with you that if anything SHE would have been the one charged….and despite what literally EVERYONE else seems to think about this case, I STILL am doing my best to keep an open mind when it comes to Brian and have spent quite a lot of time the past week or so here considering EVERY possible route that we could have arrived here-including many options that don’t involve him 🤷🏼♀️ I actually live in Sarasota too (which is only about a 20 minute drive north of Northport)….also, I do think that the police officers here did a very good job given the info they were presented with in this situation and obviously not knowing where it would eventually lead. I’m not sure if my comment came off in the wrong way, but I was just making an observation ab mental health and how it very often does play into crime…I really wasn’t trying to say anything else about the details of this specific case 🤷🏼♀️
not that I'm very familiar with the legalities of what went on, but to establish that incident as a crime would mean that something illegal happened. and if that was the case, I seriously doubt they would have let any one of the two walk away.
@@langjosol426 there was an altercation in which a passerby saw them yelling at each other and reported to the police that he saw a possible domestic violence incident in which “Brian pushed/hit Gabby”….but when the police caught up to their vehicle to to follow up on the report, Brian is the one who had multiple visible injuries on his face and Gabby admitted that she had been the one that smacked/scratched him. So yes, they 100% would have been within the letter of the law to charge Gabby with a crime-I’m not an attorney, but specifically, I’m pretty certain they could have hit her with domestic violence and/or assault…at the very least, they could have charged Brian with speeding, and if they really wanted to be ass holes, I would imagine they could’ve also given him “failure to control” for when he crossed over the double yellow lines and hit the curb. Additionally, perhaps they could have charged them both with disorderly conduct for their very public altercation. Again, these officers had no clue what this would lead to, so in my opinion, I think they actually went above and beyond the call of duty here by spending so much time talking with each of them, hearing them out and giving them the benefit of the doubt so they wouldn’t have to go to jail/have pending charges in the state of Utah (which would’ve been an incredible pain in the ass since they don’t reside in that state). Again though, with my original comment, I was just wanting to point out that these domestic violence situations are most often VERY complicated and intricate, and they VERY often can be classified as BOTH mental health issues AND criminal violations of the law 🤷🏼♀️ I know this is an unpopular opinion to many people out there at this point, but I suppose I’m backing up the actions of the officers here…I think that they exercised their discretion (which is a huge part of their daily responsibilities) and in the end thought they were doing what was best for these specific people in this specific situation. Definitely sucks that it all turned out how it did though 😟
I really enjoyed hearing your take on this case. And thank you for warning others about creepy controlling personalities! Watch out for this behavior, stay away from this type!!
I've heard that "Stan" is an acronym often used to mean "Send the authorities now"
So sad for her family, but grateful that they've found her body. Without it, I cannot imagine 💔 peace for her family.
as of right now I find nothing that confirms the body found is Gabby... Am I missing something?
Not truly confirming now, but i guess we all assume it will be soon that they do. They outcome doesn't seem good.
There's NO Peace until there is JUSTICE!
@@arizonaguy7574 the tattoos on her arm are the same as on the dead body. Tattoos often are identifiers for the police because they are resistant to the elements.
@@UTClassof Plus her father was there searching with them. They know It's her, or they wouldn't have told the family. It's just not 'official', which could just be a formality. They have the general description, and like another poster said, they do use tattoos as identifiers.
He never went to the reserve. His parents lied about where they “found” the car, giving him ample time to get away. He’s long gone.
Oh definitely. I hope his parents get charged for their part in this. They also should foot the bill for all the tax payer money and resources wasted on that massive search they did looking for their son, in a place where they knew he really wasn’t. I wonder how many tens of thousands of dollars that search cost.
The car WAS found in that park. The police had left a note on it saying it should be moved - certainly they have the record of their citation. Now the rest, we don't know.
@@diannt9583 The parents could have put the car there, in the first place. The neighbors said the car never moved from the driveway. That's odd, too.
I'm a pretty new subscriber and would like to thank you Dr. Grande for your time and dedication to informing us all with videos like this. We all greatly appreciate it! Thank you again and keep up the amazing work! Best of health to you Dr. Grande and everyone in the comments and your loved ones! ✌🏻❤️🤍👍🏻 RIP Gabby You will be greatly missed! 🤍❤️🤍❤️
Sad. My friends have a 1 year old. To watch how much effort and love it takes to raise a kid for just one year, I can only imagine the bond after 22 years. For someone to take that away instant and unexpectedly is just unfathomable. I imagine you have to be a parent to truly understand how they must feel.
I love the way Dr. Grande says "a Tik Tok content creator" like he can't even believe he is forming an actual sentence with those words.
😂
Lol me too. 😂
😂
Fr tho 😂😂
It was a painful statement for him to say, I could tell!!
Thank you Dr. Grande for placing doubt on the importance of the books they read, and their favorite movies. Way too many people are trying to make mountains out of these molehills. I'm into true crime and mysteries. A lot of us here are. It doesn't mean we're psychopaths or violent.
Way too many people also need to remember, just because they're into true crime and mysteries, doesn't make them a detective nor mental health, or human behavior expert.
Thank you so much for bringing up the van door closing as the family vloggers drove up.
Thanks for the update Dr. Grande.
The 200$ offer was made, knowing it would be turned down, because grandiose compensation offers (and gratuitous apologizing) are a form of manipulation. The "offer" was meant to instill good feelings in Miranda towards brian. It didn't work.
Exactly. Also isn’t interesting how he had no money for a hotel on the 12th of Aug yet he managed to fly home for a week and then have 200 for a 10 mile ride?
I know so many intelligent, kind, young women who have been in abusive relationships that looked a lot like this one. What disturbs me about these kinds of cases is that Gabby could be anyone- your sister, your best friend, your daughter, your neighbor. I always think of the people I know who have narrowly escaped situations like this and how the outcome could have been so much more tragic. I think everyone hugs the people they love a little tighter when horrible things like this happen
(Also thank you for talking me out of seeing annihilation because before this I was tempted!)
Teen dating violence is a huge problem. Start young and spent you're life ducking hits and punches.
I hug myself for barely surviving abuse only to be shamed by my family. No wonder most people who have toxic romantic relationships have also had toxic parents.
@@laatl67 same here. I hope you understand that it was not your fault. Abuse by someone you love is very confusing. We don’t want to believe that we love someone who is bad because then what that would say about ourselves?
@@laatl67 Me, too. I should have had him charged, because I am still disabled from the skull fractures and 7 ruptured discs. He should be paying my doctor bills, at least. I’m sorry you went through something similar.
@@laatl67 😭😮😮😭😭😨
Todd, you seem like an intelligent person...please don't ever quote the Daily Mail as a source. love from the UK
I second this!
It's like using The Sun as a credible source of information.
The ol' PSYCHOTIC Boyfriend trick.....everything's "normal", but it was all an act. I watched the whole Moab PD video and what I saw was....a terrified young woman, terrified of the aftermath, and I saw a bf that was attempting to curry favor w/ the cops, distorting the reality of the facts. Battered Woman syndrome....and Laundrie is for want of a better word, just WEIRD. I felt like this whole social media thing WASN'T what he wanted/needed....it was Gabby's idea.
Dr. Grande is a Licensed Professional Counselor of Mental Health (LPCMH) and Licensed Chemical Dependency Professional (LCDP) in the State of Delaware and is a National Certified Counselor (NCC). He holds a Master’s of Science in Community Counseling from Wilmington University and a Ph.D. in Counselor Education and Supervision from Regent University. wow GO DOCTOR!!!!!!
We are very lucky that Dr. Grande shares his expert opinions with the internet.
@@patsyhodge9071 to be a LMPCH you have to get a masters degree at minimum. It is far more rigorous than getting a certificate.
@@patsyhodge9071 He is a doctor if he has a PhD.
@@berlinschool8000 you need professional help
@@patsyhodge9071 Most counselors don't have PhD's. He does so he's a doctor. My Aunt is a Dr. She studies rocks. My grandfather was a Dr. of music. If you have a PhD. you are a doctor. He earned the title for studying 8 years of college or more. There are different kinds of doctors.
Dr.Grande is right on the mark when stating that Brian's issues were worsening. Unfortunately, Gabby appears to be the one that suffered the consequences of his worsening psychosis along with manipulative and controlling behavior.
How do you know he had pychosis?
@@supadesignco The 911 caller reported that Brian hit Gabby
@@supadesignco She is dead at 23 and he obviously murdered her, so yeah people are taking teh girls side dummy
@@2Ryled Nobody knows but the facts of this case certainly points to it.
Yup...a 37 year old trying to MOLD a 22 year old. It drove him crazy and now she's dead.
I appreciate your knowledge and insight into this case. There are so many unknowns, yet you make valid observations and critique the entire scenario to consider various possible conclusions. The way that you pull together the evidence and statements or reports made, causes me to open my mind more to alternate possibilities. Thank you for your expertise ... and for not trying to diagnose anyone in the course of the review!
Keep posting! ... and I will keep watching!
All that I felt while watching that traffic stop video is that I wished he police kept her in their car safely and bring her home but she's not a minor ofcourse.
She was taking all the blame on herself that she had been mean to him, apologised to him etc. She said she was calm that morning but that he drove her crazy. Controlling, dominating people can really push your buttons and when you get angry, disturbed or annoyed they will make you feel and look like the one with an issue and they will act like the one giving you mercy by staying with you or being kind to you. It was clear and tangible, she was in distress and anxious because he didn't let her breathe.
He also told the police that he locked the car and that he told Gabby that "she wasn't going anywhere to keep everything quiet and calm".
Wow
This type of abuse is frequently missed by those observing the relationship. The abuser may escalate their behavior slowly,, which may cause the victim to not even be aware that the controlling behavior is not normal and how much danger the victim is in until it's too late. Sometimes the abuser will use subtle hints of harming a loved one, pet etc. to maintain their control. On the night before Thanksgiving of 2001, such a relationship put me in Intensive Care fighting for my life. I was not expected to survive. But, somewhere in my unconscious state, I heard my 9-year old, my eldest of three, calling out to me not to leave them. My sons are truly my reason for living.
I'm glad you're alive & that you have your beautiful sons who love you!
Christina, so GLAD you made it and are here with us! 🙂🙂🙂
We need Brian to air his dirty Laundrie
@@keonblizzy3706 LOL....🤣🤣🤣🤣 Genius my friend! Absolutely hilarious!!
Im so sad that you had to experience such a demoralising relationship. But your abiity to describe the outrolling of the escalation of the behaviours, is pivotal to others being able to identify if they are in danger. We also need more supports to be able to identify the dangers and get free, because of the emotional manipulation which confuses the victim and makes them a target. So glad you survived. May you heal and enjoy your children.............
Well, one of her best friends said she had to stay at her house between 7 -10 times to "get way from him", and he took her ID without her knowing when she tried to go out dancing with a girlfriend.
Taking someone's ID is a huge sign of abuse in my eyes.
I thought I lost my wallet, so I cancelled all my cards etc. But all of a sudden, over night I lost independence. Suddenly my husband was the only one who had access to our banking, I couldn't drive myself around confident I wouldn't be arrested.
And I couldn't get anything replaced because he wouldn't give me the money to do so.
I now know he took my wallet and any form of ID I had at home.
@@AMM3. I hope you are away from him now.
@@teresatano193 why thank you. But actually no, we got sober, attended a shit load of counseling and worked our asses off 😂
We've been married for 15 years now and things are good. He hasn't layed a hand on me in years.
I can't stress enough to people this isn't a "stick by your man" story at all.
It's a leave before someone dies warning. Our situation was different because we didn't have an abusive situation dating or for years of marriage at first. Our violence was only tied to substance abuse because of the monster it is.
Should have split up, got help and reconnected later.
Stay safe everyone 💕
Yes.. Maybe Been wiser if they're had gone away 2 week s, I mean living out of What Resemble s an Electrician Van is not Easy...
Amm..
@@jbs8704all young couples want that dream of time alone. Her because she was in love, him because he was in love and showed that through control and manipulation.
I guess you haven't been abused as a child or adult.
Its all psychological warfare... The physical part comes later, after you are trapped.
You obviously haven't experienced this personally... But don't you think all those women would just leave? Do you think she thought she was going to die? And she actively chose to die? Come on, it doesn't make any sense but we still do it
I commented on Dr Grande’s first video on this case, saying it was the first sane, calm analytical summary of this situation in a sea of breathless media hype. This video is the second sane, calm, analytical summary I have seen . US media under scrutiny and found wanting…….again
I thought I remembered hearing Brian ask the officer/s if there was a charge for the hotel, that he did not have funds. That was at least my impression. For him to offer to give these strangers $200 for a ride, tells me that something had happened that he got the mon3ey she might have been withholding from him, since it was her camper, her job she had quit and had planned the trip for her blog to be created. So to me, this is very telling that he somehow came into money, took the van and left without her, without notifying authorities of her disappearance as well. He is definitely primo suspect no. 1 in my mind. It's all about control and he did his big power play of control by locking her out of her own van, before it escalated to the point of overpowerment, which is what I think happened. I have been with people who could charm the birds out of a tree, but in private, he was abusive, pulling a gun on me at one point, throwing me on the floor and rupturing discs in my back, before I was finally convinced it was time to get out. Then he stalked me and harassed me after the fact. At the time, I could not file a restraining order because they said I was not married to him. Well, that law has since changed, but it would have been nice to have had it in place when I felt my life was in danger. I finally hid all his guns before leaving him, knowing he would come after me, and he did, without his guns. So, I am a survivor thank God, and I know what these weirdo, insecure baby brains can do. THey are big and mean and you never knew what to expect from them. This guy could be smiling when drove in, but when he hit the door, he was screaming at nothing. So he did it to keep me off balance so I would not have any footing, or means of control over what was going to happen, and he blamed me for everything that didn't even exist. He was a nut case, to say the least, so I know h9ow things can happen. His constant laugh during the first part of the stop in Moab, is very telling. He was laughing at his guilt. You might take a look at his middle finger on his right hand. It looked bruised and swollen to me, but it might have been dirt or something else. I just thought it looked swollen.
Also, what was disturbing to me was the fact that the only picture they took of Gabby was her sitting in the police car while she was being interrogated. They never asked her to show her back or any body part for photos, in case there was something they overlooked. Whereas, with Brian, they had him raise his shirt, show his scratches and any red marks. Where were her photos? Yes, I agree that she might have fought back, but she didn't do it by herself. she was either provoked or bullied in some way to get her that upset. She was obviously trying to make peace but he kept taunting her until she reacted. Perhaps that is what he wanted, to get her out of the van so he could get to her money, she obviously had kept in hiding, since he said he did not have any funds for a motel, when told and questioned about being separated for the night. Also being passive aggressive like Brian seems to portend to be, in some ways, it is a mental disorder. He was laughing the entire time he was being interrogated and afraid that Gabby was laying charges against him, from what he said. Guilt talking from him is what I call it.
My boyfriend was always accusing ME of stuff he had done. Also, if anyone looked MY way, he looked AT ME to see if I was looking back! Then, he would take it out on me, if someone found me attractive enough to take a second or long first look at me. I was always on guard and on edge but that was his insecure plan, to keep me controlled with threats and inuendos so that I would not leave. He used to do things and say things that would make me want to leave, but if I did, he would come hunting me down like some tracker. I am lucky to be alive. I had to move in with a big guy to get this coward to back off. He finally did. Thank God, but it could have ended up like Gabby.
If you watch the whole body cam video it’s about 1h17min you can hear police talkin about how they actually want to book her - so they can check her body for injuries. The cops gets shit they don’t deserve in this one. They get it - the smartest thing is to hit so there be no markings on her body, maybe under clothes, I don’t know 🤷🏼♂️. Sorry you had to go through that shit yourself, actually I have to even though I am a man. Cheers from Scandinavia
@@SleepMeditationandAffirmations my ex husband, I was married 14 years, was hugely abusive. I didn't even know how bad I was controlled untill HE left, I never would have. But yes, he would yell, belittle me, little slaps, among other things, oh the gaslighting, he would literally smile and almost giggle while I was a sobbing mess and yes, I would fight back and attack. But that just made him happier as it was MY aggression that he would point to, and how I needed to control myself. .... Sad thing is, I THOUGHT that I was the worst person alive because as he would point out, I would get physical, but it was actually me trying to protect myself as he would push and bully me into corners. however, it was just another thing he used to grind me down, to show me how bad I was. But oh how EVERYONE believed that he could do no wrong, especially my parents, and my whole family. When he finally got tired of me, he left. But EVERYONE blamed me and wanted to know what I had done for him to leave.
So yes, a victim can fight back, but then the victim will also take all the blame, and believe it completely. And be so scarred of how their perpetrator will use this against them that they, or I at least, would get physically sick.
@@SleepMeditationandAffirmations For me it was a bullying step father. He used to push every button I had at once. Then I’d react. Lose my shit etc. Then that would set him off more. So yes. There can be times of reactive abuse by the victim until they learn better and how it never helps anything. It was at that point I became scared af. When you’re getting abused like that, they aren’t always “ugly” and so we go up and down and back and forth with being angry and scared and sad and then hoping it’ll get better etc. That kind of abuse has a lot of grooming involved. If they were horrible 24/7, nobody would ever stay with them or try to have hope for things getting better. But we do eventually get to some fed up point or a point where we know we have to get away from them. Often many of them Def lay on the charm and fake apologies and so on at each point we get so fed up like that. So it’s just not that simple is what I’d say. There is a general atmosphere of being rather slave like and there are moments when they’re acting like a saint or a prince and other moments when you’re shaking like a leaf and consumed with fear. Some abusers provoke you to no end and then use your reaction as “proof” to others that you’re the abusive or unhinged one. But in private, if I got mad that I’m being treated like shit and react, it can make some of them totally go off the rails and you really aren’t sure just what they’re capable of or what they’d do to you. It’s a very scary thing. You try to clumsily stand up for yourself, and the more you do, the more they want to smack you down harder and worse into utter submission. It often escalates until one party backs off which is usually the victim who they scare the hell out of. Cant speak for everyone but this was often my experience. He would come after me relentlessly yelling and posturing and raising his hand and towering over me until I was reduced to a trembling heap in the fetal position crouched in some corner just praying for it to end. Next day tho. We’re all supposed to just carry on like nothing happened. It’s maddening. So soon after we are walking on eggshells trying to be super meek so as not to set them off again like that...until maybe weeks later when they push all our anger buttons once again and we blow up at some point. And then it all happens again. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Truly it can drive someone right into a straight jacket if they don’t actually do us in physically. They’ll either deny everything or just be making everyone think you’re the only reason they get so mad. (Aka their anger issues are somehow always our fault). If not that, they just flip it and play the victim getting others to believe you’re just some kind of impossible instigator or the actual aggressor rather than them who are the real instigators and aggressors toward us. Somehow I was always this “problem child” and he was just this “awesome” hero. Funny tho how I never have such issues with anyone else on the planet tho except for him. 🤷🏻♀️ So fortunately, I eventually got myself the hell on up out of there away from him. Most people even to this day would never peg him for being near as bad as he really is. Some people think he’s just a bit of an ass but they don’t see him as “dangerous.” And so it goes. They often get away with murder or at least so many things that seem to fly under the radar like that in the public eye. What people see on the surface is just the tiny tip of the iceberg tho. They don’t know the half of it.
They were checking for weapons. Glad you got out.
Forgot to add that no way did I ever have the guts to talk back to him or be so forward as a child. My younger years were spent walking on those eggshells 24/7 until I broke down and later would frequently snap on him after I was provoked by him. The enablers would often stand by doing nothing or join him against me in their victim blaming rhetoric. Just like they fool so many such as that cop who he had eating out of his hand. They CAN be very charming and oh so personable and friendly looking at times. And they can turn it on and off like a light switch. After the worst car incident, I was in bad shape. I couldn’t just turn my feelings off and I DID cry uncontrollably for days after on and off. And that one was pretty much my wake up call. (Like never again do I ever allow myself to wind up alone with him under any circumstance esp not in a car). This all happened when I was age 24-38 or so. On and off when I hadn’t tried to flee 50 times in between. It took me THAT long to stop going back for more and to stop thinking (deep down) that I was the “mental” one.
Gabby was so young. She simply didn’t know any better...just like the rest of us didn’t for the longest. I just really wish she could’ve gotten out of his vortex before it came to this for her. 🥲 It sucks to be so misunderstood and to have the whole world not really believe you, (and to previously be so confused for so long and to not know it yourself even), but it Def sucks way worse to have your life cut short like that Bcuz of it. And survivors are fortunate indeed to be able to finally get on the other side of this kind of long term abuse. There are many who don’t. And there are many still who are just existing as slaves to these demented people. So a case like this pretty much just makes me want to shout all the warning signs from the rooftops. Scream to all those stuck in it....GET OUT before it’s too late. We might walk with a limp now and have a lot of scars, but we somehow survived. It is so much better now to WANT to be alive and really LIVE rather than how it used to be just wishing maybe we had never been born in the first place constantly living life as a mere slave or property to someone else. They don’t always just physically smack us around tho. Most days they just heavily influence us and pretty much get us to keep doing it to ourselves mentally. The physical part is just an escalation of what has been happening under the radar all along. Often when we don’t please them or if we push back or just want something they don’t want or if we want to leave them. Etc. That’s when it goes up a notch Bcuz they can’t deal with not being utterly dominant and entitled. Rarely (if ever) will you see any physical abuse that is not utterly chock full of mental and emotional abuse. And many times some of them never laid a hand on anyone and yet their victims are still tormented day and night. Like wasn’t it her van. Her money? Yet there he was acting like psycho Charles in charge as if it was all just his or as if he thinks he is so entitled to it...plus “owning” her as well. SMDH. I doubt he’d have the guts to off himself tho. He is a coward to his core imo.
I cannot even describe my shock and heartfelt for this case. Especially because I sometimes sense the awful scary feeling „this could have been me“ after my very similar abusive relationship with a narcissistic boyfriend who was manipulating, gaslighting and blaming me for 2 years while I was trying to make the relationship better, trying always to be kind, in a good mood and blamed myself everytime he was in a bad mood and he accused me of the wildest things. It is particularly hard to follow this case since last week because I could tick so many boxes of similar situations I was in. If anybody has similar feelings like mine in their relationship, then this is my warning to get out of it before it is too late. You are worth so much more. My heart goes out to Gabbys family.
I'm really sorry you went through all of that. Glad you got out.
Doesn't it seem like these narcissistic abusers are ALL doing the same things? Your story is so familiar to me. It's like they all read the same book!
There are enough red flags in this case to cover Lenin’s Tomb on May Day.
haha
1) The Yosemite comment = deceit and misdirection
2) Hitchhiking for $200 = more of the same; create alibi
3) Hiking in the nearby "Reserve" = more of the same
4) Calling her grandfather "Stan" = halfhearted attempt to misdirect (Whoops)
5) Immediate hiring an attorney = The parents idea?
Final thoughts -- Not exactly the perfect crime
You might want to watch in addition to Dr. Grande, of HG Tudor. He breakdowns points by points of interview of Gabby and a police officer, it was excellent.
Thanks for taking one for the team and watching that movie.