You live in the 40k universe: ☹️ You're a planetary governor: 😁 Your planet is infested with a cult: 😬 You're in charge of the cult: 🤩 It's a Genestealer Cult: 💀
In Darktide one of the reasons you end up a prisoner is because and I quote: It's not that you DIDN'T get out of the governors way, it's that you didn't get out of the way FAST ENOUGH
They choose their leaders through a grueling series of trials involving Barking Toad catching, Catachan Devil wrestling, and building a settlement with nothing but a knife, a ball of string, and a pack of chewing gum.
Sadly, obtaining the Title also came with signing away both his Spine and Testicles. This Tradition was established with the First Governator of the Old Territory known as California.
Honestly i think it'd be funnier if the Planetary Governor of Catachan would be a giant barking toad.... Like one day it hopped into the governors office somehow and since then it is a locked of biohazard zone. In Memory of this and since everybody is too scared to open that door again somebody else does the work but the official governor is that toad^^
It’s worth noting that Imperial Nobles are so enamored of their own power and position that they regularly abuse Rejuvenant treatments, leading to grossly extended lives and (more often than not) severe disfigurement as a side effect.
@@spartana1116 There's a reason all those pictures of planetary governors had them with tubes sticking into every part of their body. Under all that finery, they're a slowly decaying sack of meat kept going long after their natural lifespans by an entire Radioshack's worth of hardware.
Yeah, is it true that if they push it too far they can morph into a kind of materium version of a demon? I remember seeing art that looked like a governor who'd been melted like a candle and had this horribly wide, needle toothed grin.
@@kieranadamson3224 I never heard of that unless it's that time a noble family unknowningly had chaos taint in the bloodline cause of one of their ancestors forced one to turn into a chaos spawn during a inquisitorial interigation
All I'm gonna say is that a lot of Rogue trader is a direct satire of Thatcher and her government: the subjugation of the working class, the engaging of long distance war for the lionisation of the empire, growing xenophobia, excessive red tape, crumbling infrastructure an administration, religious fanatics engaging in terrorism for the sake of independence...
An extra note to something they briefly touched on. Imperial nobles are one of the very few people who can afford rejuvenat treatments which can add centuries on top of the normal human life span. So a planetary govener might celebrate his 400th birthday before he or she actually succumbs to old age. Also I have never thought about the planetary governor of Catachan and now have a burning need to know all about them. If I had to bet they're one of the governors who just live in orbit so they're basically fine.
In the lore, rejuvenant gets you to around 400 or so before you get diminishing returns. It stops working completely at some point, but it doesn't say when. For true immortality you gotta turn to cybernetics. Cybernetics work forever with proper maintenance cycles, but getting that shit is expensive cause you need to replace a LOT of stuff, and some of it has to be made custom. So a planetary govener has to get the attention of a magos who has the time to make immortality implants, make an offer the magos accepts, which can be difficult, and then has to not die while the implants are being made. This is an expensive process and a govener can push himself to the brink of bankruptcy just to afford the good shit shit. Cheapest is to have a box packed full of pumps and filters and get locked inside like Mr House from New Vegas. Getting good borg stuff while still being able to eat, drink, and have sexy times is much more expensive. Also, you can still get shot, so good luck with that. Funnily enough, to save money implants from a dead govener may be passed town to the heir, which results in dying princes killing their dads to get the implants. Can't have shit in the Imperium.
Headcanon: The Governor of Catachan is just Arnold Schwartzenegger, but with the hair growth of a dwarf, and he has come to a mutual understanding with the Catachan locals. 'I will respect you, and you will respect me', a pact of mutual strength and apex honor. ... Either that or it's a clone-twin of Sly Marbo because fuck it why not. EDIT: I may have just described the same person twice, but you get the rough idea.
@@Volvith according to what lore I can find, the govener of Catachan is a foreigner appointed by the administratum who sits in orbit and has never set foot on catachan. Based on what catachan is like, "not setting foot on catachan" may not be a bad thing.
I’m a chef, we had the health inspector come and inspect the place I work at the other day. Even though you’ve done nothing wrong, you still shit yourself when you have to talk to them. I imagine that’s what Inquisitors talking to governors is like. Just far more gothic and fancy.
It's the cover of one of the Vaults of Terra books. The plot of the books do involve the Custodes, yes. Its not really a retinue thing or one of those weird custodes protecting vital individuals.
Yeah, but inquisition has no authority over Custodes. In fact it's more of the other way around, but custodes don't care or need to bother with using that power. Honestly in that scenario I would be more worried about what made Custodian get his ass all the way over to me. That would be the scariest part
@@Azrael178 I actually just finished listening to the book they're talking about. And yeah, it's pretty funny seeing an Inquisitor try to order a Custodian around. The Custodian is using the Inquisitor, not protecting him. It's an ok book, but pretty decent by 40k standards.
Listening to this while killing my way through a certain Slaanesh worshipping noble's quarters in Rogue Trader. Abelard putting in the work parrying three daemonettes at a time and laying down the hurt with an M40 with the Captain. ... Eldar waifu is popping heads, too.
The segment at 22:51 made me think of the Vasari Corridor. It's a secret corridor the Medici Family had built from their palace to their office because they didn't want to walk with the populace. It was built above everyone's house on the way, over a bridge, connects to a church and the heart of the city. It was built like this because they couldn't stomach of an underground passage where they would have to walk beneath the populace. They used the corridor to attend Church secretly aswell.
Not an insult, but I've not been feeling very well so having you guys just enjoying each other's company and talking about something you guys like really helped me get some sleep.
Hey that's awesome, glad you could find some solace here. Btw if you want to talk about it I'll listen, probably won't talk to me ever again so no strings attached
@@roguepsykerhaaker4813 I appreciate that but its more of just surviving the winter cold(coof maybe). But I appreciate you offering, it means a lot when Im usually the one to offer so thank you lol
DK as a Planetary Governor has to keep his "serious infestation of felinid abhuman gene strain" (aka catgirls, AND BOYS, we don't judge like that) in his planet hidden from Inquisitorial attention. That is canon.
That Inland Empire joke though. Entirely Accurate. I was a Student briefly at Fontana High School in 2006. We had a Student Riot that took 200 Cops to stop.
@@Fpwc2San Bernardino and Riverside Counties in Southern California. It's East of LA by about 45 Minutes and has a HUGE rivalry with LA. The nicer Spots are pretty much limited to Rancho Cucamonga, which you may remember from the Cheerleading Classic Bring It On as the Competitor Team that had the same Jazz Hands Choreography at the first Cheerleading Competition. It's the only place I can recall Rancho Cucamonga appearing. I think it's also where Ice Cube in Next Friday relocates to (Where DayDay lives initially).
@@xXNoobKillaXxEh, Redlands was kinda the Boonies. I did live in Hemet for about a Year. That place also sucked big time. Half Tweakers and Ghetto, Half Old People waiting to die.
A couple of notes: The Schola Progenium only take in the orphans from Imperial nobles and commanders. Two, the Inquisition does not recruit from the Schola Progenium. Inquisitors pick and train their own successors, in whatever way they feel like. There are as many ways to become an Inquisitor as there are Inquisitors. Some set up schools or academies. Some pick a single promising candidate to train as their replacement, often picked from their personal retinue. Some never raise up a single Inquisitor in their entire life. It's completely up to each individual Inquisitor who, how many, and how they are trained and selected.
I love how when you´re playing Rogue Trader you can immediately assume the Planetary Governor you´ll meet are absolutely incompetent. Big Chungus the IV Lord Commander of Praisedtyemp von Valancius is not amused.
Nobolity is such a cesspool for chaos, intrigue and politics for tzeentch, excess for slaanesh, murder and duels for khorne and slothfulness and stagnation for nurgle, a microcosm in a macrocosm xD
Hmm by that measure so is the emperor himself an avatar of all 4. He spent thousands of years manipulating humanity like Tzeench, was a being of perfection like Slaanesh, Instituted the Great Crusade making even Khorne blush and now decays upon the golden throne in tribute to Nurgle
@@ClaireFelidae Inquisitor, right here. Jokes aside, to my knowledge we still don't know what exactly happened on molech when emps supposedly made a deal with the CEOs of chaos, and a little inspiration and on site training doesn't hurt, does it? XD I just think it's neat to have the overarching conflict, with chaos being so moldable that you can layer it upon almost every "small scale situation" like nobles or the emperor, and the struggle of keeping discipline to not tilt too much or you'll fall to one of the four. As long as you don't lean to a single side too heavily all of their teachings and aspects can be used for "good purposes" (perspective and such) but it's so easy to go that last step and doom your sphere of influence.
Planetary governor of Catachan is just a random normal guy who has no idea what he's doing, is terrified of every plant he sees, has no idea who these crazy people are that keep screaming and killing everything around him, and no idea why they all think he's a great warrior who they all look up to, and has no way out of the situation he's in.
Origin story: A 21st century Japanese office worker who comes across a time and space displacing warp storm at a certain time of year, at a certain time of day, in his part of the country, localised entirely within his kitchen.
In the actual play called Wrath and Story, there was a planetary gov. or some such who got through so much cheese, he didn't have time for wine so he had an augmetic wine pump.
All I could see when thinking of the nobility/planetary governors in their high spires, was of the rich people (Meths) from Altered Carbon. The rich live in mansions high above the clouds and live essentially forever as they can just switch to new bodies or have cloned bodies to use. Season 1 is one of my favorites of any TV show!
If you want to read about a governor who is actually VERY good at ruling, look up Lord Helmawr of Necromunda. Necromunda in general is crazy, with nobility putting on winged suits of armor and hunting people in the lower spires being one of the less outrageous things going on. I hope it gets an episode to itself sometime.
A spire can be miles high. If a noble house has been ruling for years there could be some that are adapted to that altitude. It could be that, like the Pallas Cat, they will die if they come down to sea level.
I love that you know about Pallas Cats but that altitude bit's not actually true -- they do thrive at high altitudes but it seems to be more about the cold and isolation, and if they have that they can live happily right down to sea level. The Korkeasaari Zoo in Helsinki is on an island and keeps them, with a kitten born this year :D
I'm playing a Noble in Rogue Trader. I love their dialogue options. They're so disregarding of the regular people it's hilarious. "I don't care if you're planet is in the midst of civl war, how dare you not have parade to welcome the coming of the Rogue Trader." lol
I made a noble/hive world rogue trader who literally can't fight, but will convince a demon prince to off itself or give him your firstborn heiress. Then this drops. Loving it. Also, my guys portrait is the mongoloid dude you mentioned. I just have a hairdo on my 3D model that looks like I took off the wig while tomb raiding, which makes sense.
I am left with the impression that the Naxos Planetary Governor from the Tactica Imperialis is a good example of what one "should" be, though in defense of your overall impression, Naxos was not a "successful" world overflowing with resources. He truly was a Governor who cared for his people, even if they only represented a source of income to him, and valued their loss. Also one of the few to legitimately complain about the Astartes Tactics of using them as bait. If anything this one was at best grounded in reality.
"...And that was the last anyone had seen Governor Pipi Poo'pu IV, Lord of Dickbutticus Prime. Angrily shaking his fist at the oncoming Drukhari raiding vessels, there to take slaves and plunder his booty..."
DK not even considering that he could get merch from the podcast he is a part of for free is one of the most wholesome and innocent things I have encountered in a long time somehow. Wich is weird considering who we are talking about😂
Average Imperial Noble in public: "SUFFER NOT THE WITCH TO LIVE! PURGE THE XENOS! BURN THE HERETIC!" Average Imperial Noble in private after two glasses of Amasec: "Yo, wanna see my pet Eldar psyker? Ladies wait here, you freak her out for some reason, guess she doesn't like your purple hue."
In one Ciaphus Cain story, a Nurgle plague is spreading, and the planetary governor is infected early in the outbreak (a scratch on the face), but then hides away in his office doing logistical work to support the imperial guard. We get to hear some of his personal journals as the infection worsens and he begins to become delusional - before Cain discovers his infected status - probably one of the best planetary governors in 40k fiction. Pretty sure he gets cured.
Now I just want an animated series of dk the Governor and brick the Inquisitor becoming friends over some drinks and then getting into whole loads of trouble
11:17 isn’t that wild? “Sir we know you just got elected, but you must make a tactical decision about Yemen or whatever” “Oh okay, um....knight to d-6?”
Based on the fact that Catachan will try to kill you, I imagine the Planetary Governor to just be the person who lived to 50 with at least two o.g. limbs, 1000+ kills, and the most Aussie vibes.
I've always thought a strategy game think like crusader king where you play the roll of a planetary governor trying to balance issues like food riots, chaos and genestealer cults, possible dark elder and Ork raids all while making sure the imperium gets its tithe would be pretty fun
Imperium nobles are so out of touch when they hear commoners are hungry they don’t say “let them eat cake.” They say, “what the fuck does hungry mean?”
“300 years ago my ancestors died so that I wouldn’t have to give a shit about the royal family.” Me: Family has lived in the americas since the 1600’s - amen! (Couldn’t remember the name of the king either)
I doubt they’ll see this but could you guys cover the fall of Medusa V? Where orks, elder, dark elder, tau, tyranids, necrons, the forces of chaos and the imperium.
I played a Roque trader that had many kids but the proudest i was of was my daughter she went and joined the gaurd became a commander in her own right while my son's just endulged themselves. I went to my daughter and gave a gift of 3 lemen russ battle tanks a bane blade and many rifles and sets of armor. She was not happy then i turned to her and gave her my saber and a master work pistol i had made and told her that when I'm gone she will take over because she earned her place and the respect of her men and that of all of my children I'm the proudest of her. It was the olny time i saw her shed a tear. In the end i was told she took my place when i died and worked closely with the guard and even helped lord Guillimen with his crusade. A father couldn't have asked for a better daughter the Emperor truly did bless me.
I live in the inland empire area. Can confirm. Lots of drugs, especially if you go a bit north of where I am to Fallbrook and maybe Hemet, too, though Hemet does have a nicer side.
This is why the Sisters of the Orders Famulous are so cool. A type of non-militant orders that the Adepta Sororitas have that exist to keep nobility in line.
Ah yes... the navigator in rouge-trader! A woman I dispise so much, I litteraly don't remember her name in favor of "meatshield"! Wanna guess her roll in combat?
As for the nobles who broke up with their corrupt family to join the Guard there is the famous case of Lukas Bastonne who unfortunately died without having been given the proper attention he deserved from GW
I remember in the leviathan omnibus several planet governers refused to work with other governers due too their family rivalries dispite tyranids arriving
One of my favourite lore moments from imperial nobility is a time some noble woman straight up shot an Astartes with a Laz pistol for daring to try and tell her what to do. The same noble woman then pissed herself when an Inquisitor did the same
I hope and pray for her sake it was one of the nicer chapters, whose response would be to look at their armor, make a note that thar will buff out, and then go "Don't do thst again or we will have a problem." Because otherwise I'm struggling to comprehend how that astartes and his nearest battle brother didn't just straight up tear her in half.
@@andrewgause6971 It was the Iron Snakes chapter. An Ultramarine successor who are pretty decent chaps. If my memory serves me correctly, the Iron Snakes were aiding a planetary evacuation, and the noble just didn't much care for his tone. The space marine was befuddled, even tho the shot did jack shit to him. Thats when the Inquisitor came around and told the lady to fuck off. I think it happens in the Iron Snakes short story collection by Dan Abnett
It probably is a point of pride for a family if one of their children becomes a *successful* Imperial Navy captain, or admiral or high up guard officer. This was the case in Britain's real navy and GW being British it is probably canon.
Oi! Now look ova there, thats a Cotachan devil! One'the most dangerous creatures in all the galaxy! One touch and Im dead!... Im gonna poke it with a sitck! *pokes it followed by a tyranid screech* HE'S ANGREY! -Devil hunter, Catachan planetary guvernor- They don't have a guvernor, its just the crocodile hunter with a filming crew
I think self governance is pretty reasonable for a galaxy spanning empire. The worlds are so far apart and have so many different needs, I mean governing a single planet centrally is already hard enough. And it’s not like the high lords have no influence on what happens on the planets whatsoever. I mean basing the entire thing on aristocracy is bad, but it’s not like the emperor would have build democracies
The best part about Imperial Nobility is that the Imperium of Man doesn't really have a galactic standard currency and so they rely heavily on local ones. Which means, in a lot of cases, the nobility is only wealthy on *their* specific planet or system. In the rest of the Imperium they're just as poor as the menials. XD
My head canon for Catachan's governor is that its literally just Saxton Hale.
Perfect fit Imo
My mental image is cross between President Comacho from "Idiocracy" and "Crocodile" Dundee in sleeveless three-piece suit.
@@andreykuzmin4317thanks now I can’t get that image out of my head
@andreykuzmin4317 I mean thats literally Saxton Hale but in a three piece suit instead of just booty shorts.
That is 100% for sure. Saxton Hale but more Catachan style, still probably has a killer mustache and hat.
You live in the 40k universe: ☹️
You're a planetary governor: 😁
Your planet is infested with a cult: 😬
You're in charge of the cult: 🤩
It's a Genestealer Cult: 💀
meh, so long as you're in the first or second generation then you're generations away from the invasion, so, good life i suppose.
*GEEEN STIIILÖÖÖRS*
-inquisitor
@@Ironbattlemace
They steal jeans
Grice. Just Grice
There is a necron cult, but u re just mind controlled by a necron nano machines
In Darktide one of the reasons you end up a prisoner is because and I quote: It's not that you DIDN'T get out of the governors way, it's that you didn't get out of the way FAST ENOUGH
I think one of the reasons is also "Looked at me funny"
Obviously the Catachans don’t have a Planetary Governor, they have a Planetary Governator.
They choose their leaders through a grueling series of trials involving Barking Toad catching, Catachan Devil wrestling, and building a settlement with nothing but a knife, a ball of string, and a pack of chewing gum.
He will be back!
Sadly, obtaining the Title also came with signing away both his Spine and Testicles. This Tradition was established with the First Governator of the Old Territory known as California.
Anything official is signed sly Marbo and the imperium has no choice but to believe it
Honestly i think it'd be funnier if the Planetary Governor of Catachan would be a giant barking toad.... Like one day it hopped into the governors office somehow and since then it is a locked of biohazard zone. In Memory of this and since everybody is too scared to open that door again somebody else does the work but the official governor is that toad^^
Imperial noble *gets soul stone*
Also imperial noble : "you know? I'm something of an eldar myself"
The Inquisition will remember that.
..
Radical Inquisitor be like:
Yea let the fancy man have his fancy jewel. Not like he knows how to use it. I've got other bullshit to worry about
@@gustavakerman2566 eh, that’s just a pragmatic inquisitor. Radicals try to use the xenos’ stuff for themselves.
It’s worth noting that Imperial Nobles are so enamored of their own power and position that they regularly abuse Rejuvenant treatments, leading to grossly extended lives and (more often than not) severe disfigurement as a side effect.
So that's why I often heard that their body horror is similar to the mechanicus
@@spartana1116 There's a reason all those pictures of planetary governors had them with tubes sticking into every part of their body. Under all that finery, they're a slowly decaying sack of meat kept going long after their natural lifespans by an entire Radioshack's worth of hardware.
Ouch!
Yeah, is it true that if they push it too far they can morph into a kind of materium version of a demon? I remember seeing art that looked like a governor who'd been melted like a candle and had this horribly wide, needle toothed grin.
@@kieranadamson3224 I never heard of that unless it's that time a noble family unknowningly had chaos taint in the bloodline cause of one of their ancestors forced one to turn into a chaos spawn during a inquisitorial interigation
As they say: The higher up you are, the more the rules don't matter
in fiction and in real life.
I AM THE LAW!!!!
Sad but true!
All I'm gonna say is that a lot of Rogue trader is a direct satire of Thatcher and her government: the subjugation of the working class, the engaging of long distance war for the lionisation of the empire, growing xenophobia, excessive red tape, crumbling infrastructure an administration, religious fanatics engaging in terrorism for the sake of independence...
An extra note to something they briefly touched on. Imperial nobles are one of the very few people who can afford rejuvenat treatments which can add centuries on top of the normal human life span. So a planetary govener might celebrate his 400th birthday before he or she actually succumbs to old age.
Also I have never thought about the planetary governor of Catachan and now have a burning need to know all about them. If I had to bet they're one of the governors who just live in orbit so they're basically fine.
In the lore, rejuvenant gets you to around 400 or so before you get diminishing returns. It stops working completely at some point, but it doesn't say when. For true immortality you gotta turn to cybernetics. Cybernetics work forever with proper maintenance cycles, but getting that shit is expensive cause you need to replace a LOT of stuff, and some of it has to be made custom. So a planetary govener has to get the attention of a magos who has the time to make immortality implants, make an offer the magos accepts, which can be difficult, and then has to not die while the implants are being made. This is an expensive process and a govener can push himself to the brink of bankruptcy just to afford the good shit shit. Cheapest is to have a box packed full of pumps and filters and get locked inside like Mr House from New Vegas. Getting good borg stuff while still being able to eat, drink, and have sexy times is much more expensive. Also, you can still get shot, so good luck with that.
Funnily enough, to save money implants from a dead govener may be passed town to the heir, which results in dying princes killing their dads to get the implants. Can't have shit in the Imperium.
Headcanon: The Governor of Catachan is just Arnold Schwartzenegger, but with the hair growth of a dwarf, and he has come to a mutual understanding with the Catachan locals.
'I will respect you, and you will respect me', a pact of mutual strength and apex honor.
...
Either that or it's a clone-twin of Sly Marbo because fuck it why not.
EDIT: I may have just described the same person twice, but you get the rough idea.
@@Volvith according to what lore I can find, the govener of Catachan is a foreigner appointed by the administratum who sits in orbit and has never set foot on catachan.
Based on what catachan is like, "not setting foot on catachan" may not be a bad thing.
@@TheAussieBlue I'm surprised they haven't had a "catastrophic failure in orbit", given the Catachan authority issues
@@Volvithor Saxton Hale
I’m a chef, we had the health inspector come and inspect the place I work at the other day. Even though you’ve done nothing wrong, you still shit yourself when you have to talk to them. I imagine that’s what Inquisitors talking to governors is like. Just far more gothic and fancy.
Did you guys notice that the Inquisitor in power armour had a CUSTODES WITH HIM!?
It's the cover of one of the Vaults of Terra books. The plot of the books do involve the Custodes, yes. Its not really a retinue thing or one of those weird custodes protecting vital individuals.
Yeah, but inquisition has no authority over Custodes. In fact it's more of the other way around, but custodes don't care or need to bother with using that power.
Honestly in that scenario I would be more worried about what made Custodian get his ass all the way over to me. That would be the scariest part
@@Azrael178 JUST PRETEND I AM NOT HERE, MORTAL
Ten seconds to think of a planetary governor name? Glutius Maximus Esquire XXI
@@Azrael178 I actually just finished listening to the book they're talking about. And yeah, it's pretty funny seeing an Inquisitor try to order a Custodian around. The Custodian is using the Inquisitor, not protecting him. It's an ok book, but pretty decent by 40k standards.
Listening to this while killing my way through a certain Slaanesh worshipping noble's quarters in Rogue Trader. Abelard putting in the work parrying three daemonettes at a time and laying down the hurt with an M40 with the Captain. ... Eldar waifu is popping heads, too.
How is rogue trader?
A Calzone in a Calzone is the Centurion Armour of the Food World.
The segment at 22:51 made me think of the Vasari Corridor. It's a secret corridor the Medici Family had built from their palace to their office because they didn't want to walk with the populace. It was built above everyone's house on the way, over a bridge, connects to a church and the heart of the city. It was built like this because they couldn't stomach of an underground passage where they would have to walk beneath the populace. They used the corridor to attend Church secretly aswell.
'Secret'. Not sure how secret a literal tunnel in the sky can be.
Wow!
@@jemman2906 I imagine it would be camouflaged as architecture wherever possible.
In Rennaisance "oh no he got stabbed in public!" Italy not wanting to walk with the populance is a decent survival strategy.
@@jemman2906secret used to mean private kinda like the Vatican’s secret library
Not an insult, but I've not been feeling very well so having you guys just enjoying each other's company and talking about something you guys like really helped me get some sleep.
Couldn't find an insult here even if I'm trying
@@12SickOne34 I think he meant that sleep implies it was boring
Hey that's awesome, glad you could find some solace here. Btw if you want to talk about it I'll listen, probably won't talk to me ever again so no strings attached
@@roguepsykerhaaker4813 I appreciate that but its more of just surviving the winter cold(coof maybe). But I appreciate you offering, it means a lot when Im usually the one to offer so thank you lol
@@chowrites6179 No worries my guy
I feel the Code Ment ending quote is rather appropriate as the imperial nobles, and the nobility in code geass aren't too dissimilar.
A noble son wanting to buy a new outfit during an active siege calling a servant who is actively fighting a chaos invasion.
HOLY MOLY GAZONGAS
SOME REAL BADONKERS
Some huge bazonka hongaroos!
Some absolute bonhonagahoogs!
Oh, so Creed really is an odd one out. He is a planetary governor that is very down to earth and fight the war personally.
Cadia's upper crust can't really afford to fuck around, because they'd find out real quick.
Cadia is like prussia. Cadians are an army that happen to have a planet.
Well Cadia is also the poster boy of the IG (even now despite being blown up) so of course *their* Governor is the exception. lol
And now Trazyn got him as part of his collection!
@@Dracobytewith "the last castellan of Cadia" or "planetary governor that is not a dick" nameplate under the exhibit?
DK as a Planetary Governor has to keep his "serious infestation of felinid abhuman gene strain" (aka catgirls, AND BOYS, we don't judge like that) in his planet hidden from Inquisitorial attention. That is canon.
With a thumbnail like this I had to click instantly, good God-Emperor...
Do not let the temptations of Slaanesh get to you brother, always stay beside our best girls: the Adeptas Sororitas
@@davisdf3064 the Adeptus Sororitas are welcome to join Slaanesh :3
Getting Abelard to introduce you to the scum of the imperium at every opportunity is just the best XD
By the way, your podcast was recommended by the Poorhammer channel (in the "40K Content You Should Be Watching") video!
Considering Bricky is looking after their merch, I'm pretty sure they're on good terms
His content is really good!
That Inland Empire joke though. Entirely Accurate. I was a Student briefly at Fontana High School in 2006. We had a Student Riot that took 200 Cops to stop.
See that was your problem, you didn't go to spire Redlands
Can someone explain what is the Inland Empire?
@@Fpwc2 it's an area in socal between the coast and mountains. Temecula does not count
@@Fpwc2San Bernardino and Riverside Counties in Southern California. It's East of LA by about 45 Minutes and has a HUGE rivalry with LA. The nicer Spots are pretty much limited to Rancho Cucamonga, which you may remember from the Cheerleading Classic Bring It On as the Competitor Team that had the same Jazz Hands Choreography at the first Cheerleading Competition.
It's the only place I can recall Rancho Cucamonga appearing. I think it's also where Ice Cube in Next Friday relocates to (Where DayDay lives initially).
@@xXNoobKillaXxEh, Redlands was kinda the Boonies. I did live in Hemet for about a Year. That place also sucked big time. Half Tweakers and Ghetto, Half Old People waiting to die.
A couple of notes:
The Schola Progenium only take in the orphans from Imperial nobles and commanders.
Two, the Inquisition does not recruit from the Schola Progenium. Inquisitors pick and train their own successors, in whatever way they feel like. There are as many ways to become an Inquisitor as there are Inquisitors. Some set up schools or academies. Some pick a single promising candidate to train as their replacement, often picked from their personal retinue. Some never raise up a single Inquisitor in their entire life. It's completely up to each individual Inquisitor who, how many, and how they are trained and selected.
Thanks for the info!
I love how when you´re playing Rogue Trader you can immediately assume the Planetary Governor you´ll meet are absolutely incompetent.
Big Chungus the IV Lord Commander of Praisedtyemp von Valancius is not amused.
Nobolity is such a cesspool for chaos, intrigue and politics for tzeentch, excess for slaanesh, murder and duels for khorne and slothfulness and stagnation for nurgle, a microcosm in a macrocosm xD
Hmm by that measure so is the emperor himself an avatar of all 4. He spent thousands of years manipulating humanity like Tzeench, was a being of perfection like Slaanesh, Instituted the Great Crusade making even Khorne blush and now decays upon the golden throne in tribute to Nurgle
@@ClaireFelidae Inquisitor, right here.
Jokes aside, to my knowledge we still don't know what exactly happened on molech when emps supposedly made a deal with the CEOs of chaos, and a little inspiration and on site training doesn't hurt, does it? XD
I just think it's neat to have the overarching conflict, with chaos being so moldable that you can layer it upon almost every "small scale situation" like nobles or the emperor, and the struggle of keeping discipline to not tilt too much or you'll fall to one of the four. As long as you don't lean to a single side too heavily all of their teachings and aspects can be used for "good purposes" (perspective and such) but it's so easy to go that last step and doom your sphere of influence.
Wheels opun wheels of machinations and conspiracy, like Dune.
Planetary governor of Catachan is just a random normal guy who has no idea what he's doing, is terrified of every plant he sees, has no idea who these crazy people are that keep screaming and killing everything around him, and no idea why they all think he's a great warrior who they all look up to, and has no way out of the situation he's in.
Origin story: A 21st century Japanese office worker who comes across a time and space displacing warp storm at a certain time of year, at a certain time of day, in his part of the country, localised entirely within his kitchen.
who made Cain a governor?
@@SirBrasstionmay I see it?
I wasn't ordering pizza today.... but that intro has me reconsidering.
I also love the Pizza Tower OST in the background!
In the actual play called Wrath and Story, there was a planetary gov. or some such who got through so much cheese, he didn't have time for wine so he had an augmetic wine pump.
"Eat the rich!" - Politically active Factorium Worker
"Eat the rich, they're more refined!" - Slanneshi Factorium Worker
All I could see when thinking of the nobility/planetary governors in their high spires, was of the rich people (Meths) from Altered Carbon. The rich live in mansions high above the clouds and live essentially forever as they can just switch to new bodies or have cloned bodies to use. Season 1 is one of my favorites of any TV show!
If you want to read about a governor who is actually VERY good at ruling, look up Lord Helmawr of Necromunda. Necromunda in general is crazy, with nobility putting on winged suits of armor and hunting people in the lower spires being one of the less outrageous things going on. I hope it gets an episode to itself sometime.
Hear me out... Steve Irwin as the Catachan governor
Steve might know a lot about animals, but he wouldn't condone hunting them for sport :/ Saxton Hale would tho >:)
Irwin would be too nice to exist in 40k
I DEMAND an Inquisitor Brick Von Brick poster at once!!!😂
A spire can be miles high. If a noble house has been ruling for years there could be some that are adapted to that altitude. It could be that, like the Pallas Cat, they will die if they come down to sea level.
I love that you know about Pallas Cats but that altitude bit's not actually true -- they do thrive at high altitudes but it seems to be more about the cold and isolation, and if they have that they can live happily right down to sea level. The Korkeasaari Zoo in Helsinki is on an island and keeps them, with a kitten born this year :D
Ouch!
I'm playing a Noble in Rogue Trader. I love their dialogue options. They're so disregarding of the regular people it's hilarious. "I don't care if you're planet is in the midst of civl war, how dare you not have parade to welcome the coming of the Rogue Trader." lol
*Planetary Governor: Takes a shit*
*Shit: Lands on the peasants*
*The peasants:* Praise the Emperor! Food falls from the skies!
Considering what passes for "food" in the Imperium, rich people shit may be a better meal than normal
@mightykanohii I mean. Scrape exists.
Hahahahahaha!
If One Piece World Nobles are from 40k.
Considering the shit they have done!
1000% accurate
10000% accurate
The celestial dragons are basically 1 to 1 40k nobles.
I guess they are even worse, the nobles of 40k
I made a noble/hive world rogue trader who literally can't fight, but will convince a demon prince to off itself or give him your firstborn heiress. Then this drops. Loving it.
Also, my guys portrait is the mongoloid dude you mentioned. I just have a hairdo on my 3D model that looks like I took off the wig while tomb raiding, which makes sense.
I am left with the impression that the Naxos Planetary Governor from the Tactica Imperialis is a good example of what one "should" be, though in defense of your overall impression, Naxos was not a "successful" world overflowing with resources. He truly was a Governor who cared for his people, even if they only represented a source of income to him, and valued their loss. Also one of the few to legitimately complain about the Astartes Tactics of using them as bait. If anything this one was at best grounded in reality.
"...And that was the last anyone had seen Governor Pipi Poo'pu IV, Lord of Dickbutticus Prime.
Angrily shaking his fist at the oncoming Drukhari raiding vessels, there to take slaves and plunder his booty..."
DK not even considering that he could get merch from the podcast he is a part of for free is one of the most wholesome and innocent things I have encountered in a long time somehow. Wich is weird considering who we are talking about😂
Tbf LIJ merch goes hard
Average Imperial Noble in public: "SUFFER NOT THE WITCH TO LIVE! PURGE THE XENOS! BURN THE HERETIC!"
Average Imperial Noble in private after two glasses of Amasec: "Yo, wanna see my pet Eldar psyker? Ladies wait here, you freak her out for some reason, guess she doesn't like your purple hue."
As a fellow southern Californian that lives near the IE, Inland Empire, y’all are speaking facts.
Somehow I am getting scared that one day, they might run out of context. A stupid thought, but I don’t want these lovable videos to end.
Always remember to have an Ork friend by your side when dealing with a Noble woman in 40k (or any setting for that matter)
why?
@@princekrazie why not ya git? stoopid humies could always use an ork at dere side.
Hoping this is a Proppa Krumpin'/A Vox in the Void reference.
@@darthslainOI! DEYZ GIVIN ME DA DAKKA! SOD OFF!
In one Ciaphus Cain story, a Nurgle plague is spreading, and the planetary governor is infected early in the outbreak (a scratch on the face), but then hides away in his office doing logistical work to support the imperial guard. We get to hear some of his personal journals as the infection worsens and he begins to become delusional - before Cain discovers his infected status - probably one of the best planetary governors in 40k fiction. Pretty sure he gets cured.
Now I just want an animated series of dk the Governor and brick the Inquisitor becoming friends over some drinks and then getting into whole loads of trouble
The planetary governor of Catachan is Saxton Hale
The inquisitor with all the battle sisters in tow is absolutely Greyfax.
Damn, Kriegs former governor was so stricken from the records he didn't even get a mention this episode
Erased from history
Fun fact, in the Naheulbeuk universe, which is a huge parody of Warhammer at times, Slaanesh is actually named Slaanoush. 😂
Ah, yes, the ones deserving Emperor's guillotine.
How dare ye!? To the sump dumps with you!
Eat the rich!
Revolutionaries never get it, if you're stupidity is successful, you won't be the ones gaining power; you'll be the ones gulaged/round up and shot...
@DagsTheBarbarian Fouche and Talleyrand: well, this happens if one doesn't know when and how to change sides...
@@PobortzaPlI believe we call those people traitors, and they are treated particularly well either...
11:17 isn’t that wild? “Sir we know you just got elected, but you must make a tactical decision about Yemen or whatever”
“Oh okay, um....knight to d-6?”
The average planetary governor: MY PLANET HAS BEEN HANDED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG LINE FOR GENERATIONS!
The Y in Bricky stands for boomer
Based on the fact that Catachan will try to kill you, I imagine the Planetary Governor to just be the person who lived to 50 with at least two o.g. limbs, 1000+ kills, and the most Aussie vibes.
So... Saxton Hale from tf2
I've always thought a strategy game think like crusader king where you play the roll of a planetary governor trying to balance issues like food riots, chaos and genestealer cults, possible dark elder and Ork raids all while making sure the imperium gets its tithe would be pretty fun
Imperium nobles are so out of touch when they hear commoners are hungry they don’t say “let them eat cake.” They say, “what the fuck does hungry mean?”
Talking about power armored inquisitors, I love the description of Amberley Vale's set of power armour.
Shy is a wonderful goblin/evil overlord/AI intelligence/Sarcastic Manager
And now is voice acting for a videogame!
Dk actually buying their own merch is now the purest thing in our world
DK got the quote! Truly he has become the Warhammer 40K.
My boy has improved over time!
I also love the Pizza Tower OST in the background!
@@Dracobyte that’s the part I love about the whole thing. I’m new to the hobby, so his surprise is my surprise, lol
A planetary governor that is just and kind. Is more then likely a martyr or going to be a martyr..
i've begun to really look forward to these new videos, I'm used to watching the backlogs whenever I see something interesting
Shy’s guy is who I’m playing! Noble officer for the win!
“300 years ago my ancestors died so that I wouldn’t have to give a shit about the royal family.”
Me: Family has lived in the americas since the 1600’s - amen! (Couldn’t remember the name of the king either)
America isn't that old yet as a separate entity from England at least
@@conorflinn600 yeah, still needs another 53 years, but I get where he’s coming from. 🤣
I doubt they’ll see this but could you guys cover the fall of Medusa V? Where orks, elder, dark elder, tau, tyranids, necrons, the forces of chaos and the imperium.
Planetary Governor DK gets visit from inquisition needs to be animated😂
4:27 ahahha the italian space marine witha pizza, i love it.
O hey the word bearers are here
I also love the Pizza Tower OST in the background!
The nobility of the imperium are known for their large personalities.
Sly Marbo is the planetary governor
If there were a drinking game for how often the rogue trader game is mentioned in this video I’d be hospitalized
I played a Roque trader that had many kids but the proudest i was of was my daughter she went and joined the gaurd became a commander in her own right while my son's just endulged themselves. I went to my daughter and gave a gift of 3 lemen russ battle tanks a bane blade and many rifles and sets of armor. She was not happy then i turned to her and gave her my saber and a master work pistol i had made and told her that when I'm gone she will take over because she earned her place and the respect of her men and that of all of my children I'm the proudest of her. It was the olny time i saw her shed a tear. In the end i was told she took my place when i died and worked closely with the guard and even helped lord Guillimen with his crusade. A father couldn't have asked for a better daughter the Emperor truly did bless me.
I live in the inland empire area. Can confirm. Lots of drugs, especially if you go a bit north of where I am to Fallbrook and maybe Hemet, too, though Hemet does have a nicer side.
This is why the Sisters of the Orders Famulous are so cool. A type of non-militant orders that the Adepta Sororitas have that exist to keep nobility in line.
I didn’t think we’d be talking about calzone squared today
I'm so happy for DK getting a quote right! Let's go DK!!!
I also love the Pizza Tower OST in the background, during the calzone segway!
Ah yes... the navigator in rouge-trader! A woman I dispise so much, I litteraly don't remember her name in favor of "meatshield"!
Wanna guess her roll in combat?
We all know DK’s governor name would be Dean Von Kaimen(literally DK)
DK... Donkey Kong!
Sorry I could not resist it.
i love how one of the HOSTS of the podcast thought he had to purchase his own merch
As for the nobles who broke up with their corrupt family to join the Guard there is the famous case of Lukas Bastonne who unfortunately died without having been given the proper attention he deserved from GW
I remember in the leviathan omnibus several planet governers refused to work with other governers due too their family rivalries dispite tyranids arriving
One of my favourite lore moments from imperial nobility is a time some noble woman straight up shot an Astartes with a Laz pistol for daring to try and tell her what to do. The same noble woman then pissed herself when an Inquisitor did the same
I hope and pray for her sake it was one of the nicer chapters, whose response would be to look at their armor, make a note that thar will buff out, and then go "Don't do thst again or we will have a problem." Because otherwise I'm struggling to comprehend how that astartes and his nearest battle brother didn't just straight up tear her in half.
@@andrewgause6971 It was the Iron Snakes chapter. An Ultramarine successor who are pretty decent chaps. If my memory serves me correctly, the Iron Snakes were aiding a planetary evacuation, and the noble just didn't much care for his tone.
The space marine was befuddled, even tho the shot did jack shit to him. Thats when the Inquisitor came around and told the lady to fuck off.
I think it happens in the Iron Snakes short story collection by Dan Abnett
Sly Mario is the planetary governor of katacha obviously.
"the guy with the biggest knife and the highest kill count."
DK, that would make the governor of catachan none other than SLY MARBO.
Catachan is a lift-ocracy. Dude or dudette with the biggest deadlift gets the highest office. Kinda based tbh...
Good news, Vtuber Matara Kan reactions to 40K were mentioned in the recent episode of Adeptus Ridiculous.
44:45 COMMISSAR HOLT WOOOOOO
I loved that guy
As a Brazilian, I aprove the pizza madness
I also love the Pizza Tower OST in the background!
So I got this new anime plot
Runaway noble?
Speaking of Herman Von Strabbe, you should read the last chancers series for book club
Desperately want to see a TTRPG of Inquisitor Brick Von Brik and Govenor Dee Von Kay.
31:15..wait aren't there a whole regiment of imperial.guard that are made from highborn nobles?
There are quite a few, you’ve got the Vostryan Firstborn or the Vulpone Bluebloods.
@@The.Orange.Wizard thank one, I heard about " noble only" imperial guard regiments from list and bricky statement reminder me about it
While imagining the Catachan planetary governor is interesting, even better is the mental image of a Catachan election.
It's just the Mr. Universe competition, like who can flex the most.
It probably is a point of pride for a family if one of their children becomes a *successful* Imperial Navy captain, or admiral or high up guard officer. This was the case in Britain's real navy and GW being British it is probably canon.
Oi! Now look ova there, thats a Cotachan devil! One'the most dangerous creatures in all the galaxy! One touch and Im dead!... Im gonna poke it with a sitck! *pokes it followed by a tyranid screech* HE'S ANGREY!
-Devil hunter, Catachan planetary guvernor-
They don't have a guvernor, its just the crocodile hunter with a filming crew
i figured DK was a Los Ingobernables fan. now we need a showdown between Daryl Takahashi and Doge VanDire
Brick von Brick is a Brick done Quick
I think self governance is pretty reasonable for a galaxy spanning empire. The worlds are so far apart and have so many different needs, I mean governing a single planet centrally is already hard enough. And it’s not like the high lords have no influence on what happens on the planets whatsoever. I mean basing the entire thing on aristocracy is bad, but it’s not like the emperor would have build democracies
The best part about Imperial Nobility is that the Imperium of Man doesn't really have a galactic standard currency and so they rely heavily on local ones. Which means, in a lot of cases, the nobility is only wealthy on *their* specific planet or system. In the rest of the Imperium they're just as poor as the menials. XD