So clearly there is a major misinterpretation of the context of the video going on. I NEVER said that it is bad to dress more feminine or girly. I am strictly speaking on the sexualization of dressing in the coquette style. I don’t know where the confusion is coming from especially if you are a supporter of mine. I literally have been one of the “girliest girls” since a child 😂 I wear pink, frills, makeup, lace, all the things like where could you possibly get I am judging women for dressing feminine??? It’s wrong when you’re purposely dressing like a child to get a certain level of attention. That’s what I was saying.
Infantilizing women for wearing bows, lace, or the color pink is insane. Women cannot do anything. Wearing pink short skirts and bows in your hair? You’re dressing like a child. Wearing skin tight skinny jeans? Bodycon dresses? Showing any amount of cleavage? You’re a whore. Wearing sweatpants? You can still be unnecessarily sexualized. Depending on the type of person, they do not care what you’re wearing. Let’s not say women are dressing like children when they clearly look like adults wearing short skirts and dresses. Women are allowed to wear cute attire and want to feel good for themselves. Not everything is centered around men. You contradict yourself in your explanation saying you’re a “girly girl” but then saying women are “purposefully” dressing like children to get attention. I’m sure 99% of women who wear this style are not doing it for attention or to be seen as child. What in the world? Forget how anyone else perceives them. They need to work that out for themselves if they look at a grown woman and instantly think of a child instead. This world would be a much better place if people minded their own business and weren’t so judgmental about anything and everything.
There is no confusion or misinterpreting, Toni. You articulated yourself very well. It goes back to what the woman in one of the last clips stated and no lie was told-“[…]bffr[…] your boobs are fully developed but your brain is not.” The problem that lies with anyone who is “confused” or “misinterpreting” in what you presented is all personal. Too wrapped up in their feelings. Do you Toni, keep these healthy double-sided research vlogs going? I may not agree with some things you say but I listen and eventually understand your perception shared. Cheers, thank you is what they should be saying, or nothing at all because something all too many people don’t understand is manners and not ALWAYS having something to say. Cheers.❤
Almost anyone who is "misinterpreting" your video has probably not seen it the whole way through. They became defensive the moment they saw it. It's not your fault at all ❤️ keep up the good work ☺️
Some people need to watch the whole video. She's not calling out the women who are innocently partaking in the coquette girl aesthetic that are being sexualized, but the women and men who are sexualizing something that should be otherwise innocent.
Literally, there are a lot of women that use pedobait (specially in reddit) and of course the source of it is the consumer that majority are males. I think people did not watch all of it...
I don't have problems with adults having 'weird' fetishes as long as everyone involved are adults. Maybe another way to look at it is that it's better they do it together than with actual child. Those type of ppl aren't going away. They can role-playing with each other instead of harming ppl.
@Play4keeks the problem is this comunicates that their "fetish" is valid, but having a fetish on children is not a fetish it is a parafily and needs to be treated. It does not get these people away from real children, what does that are laws. This only contribute to further sexualize children acts or clothes (like Japanese school uniforms for example)
I do find the coquette aesthetic slightly problematic, but I think it's the male gaze specifically that makes it problematic. I personally enjoy the bows and frills for myself, though I don't fit into any one aesthetic. It's one of those things where we need to ask ourselves WHY we want to dress in this way. Is it truly our own interest and style, or is it for the attention of a partner (regardless of gender)?
I agree. I like it because I think its cute. That's it. Different moods require different clothing, but I never feel like or act like a child no matter what I wear. I think this video almost demonizes a type of clothing no matter who wears it or why.
@@jennifercromwell2497 actually it's not. It's more in the man's DNA to look good for women. In nature the males of a species look the best. The problem we have as a species is that men have learned to have a monopoly over resources so they don't have to be the most physically fit or attractive. They just need to have the resources. They've switched the natural dynamics to best suit them.
@@jennifercromwell2497 maybe it's ok when you like one special man/person and you ofc want them to find you beautiful, but ultimately you should dress for yourself and how you feel the most comfortable. Oh, and it's not "in our dna", cause 1)every person is different 2) we're not just animals. That's just sounds ignorant and that's exactly one of the arguments men use to say that women's lifes revolve around them🙄
They all sound as dumb as the women who “freed” the nipple for “empowerment “ 😂😂😂 just to walk down the street parading naked giving everyone a free show
@@ToniBryanneTV First off I want to say it wasn’t the croquette aesthetic that was a thing in the 2010s it was the nymphet aesthetic and it was a lot different from the croquette aesthetic. It involved a lot of red and shapes like hearts and cherries and lana del rays image/aesthetic aligned more with the nymphet and vintage Americana aesthetic and the only reason why the croquette aesthetic has become exualized is because a lot of the nymphet girls hijacked the aesthetic in the late 2010s. And that’s why a lot of people associate the croquette aesthetic with the exualization of children and think that Lana is the inventor of it.
All the people getting butt hurt in the comments is hilarious 😭 ppl fr act like cutesy and pastel stuff hasn't been sexualized forever. As a person who also wears pastel and cute clothing it's a shame people don't have the nauce to criticize or recognize the other side of the "aesthetic" they participate in. Ain't no one said you can't be cutesy and UWU but don't ignore that the community has toxicity like all do 💃🏾 and ppl fr act like women do not have the ability to sexualize themselves in cute or pastel clothes. 💀💀💀
okay, the community of the style is toxic…now what. I don’t see the aftermath of this opinion leaving an effect at all, we can’t but every weirdo who sexualizes the style in the corner, sometimes it better to ignore it and shine even brighter light on the positives.
Also like using frills and bows and pink doesn’t automatically makes it coquette?? There are many other aesthetics that do so too? What’s so difficult to understand that coquette is a type of aesthetic that takes what’s is normally associated with young girls, girlhood and innocence and tries to sell it under a pseudo-seductress lense for the male gaze? We really do be excusing Humbert Humbert left and right, huh
@@bluud6Bruv, thats the issue. NOT speaking out about the toxic things is what makes a community more toxic. Esp since "coquette" is a community/style that intersects w/ LITERAL minors and other glamorized problematic media. Just focusing on the positives doesn't work in reality unless toxic positivity is your jam. Definitely not saying to hyper fixate on it but being aware, educated and speaking out about things that are not right is important.
@@lepetitmonster8737 THIS. Like ppl need to stop painting coquette as some whimsical ass UWU girly aesthetic. It's literally glamorized predator fantasy 💀 but ppl who are angry got their ignorance showing
i feel like alot of people mad in the comments did not watch the video in entirety. Toni says on multiple occasions that it isnt the person dressed in coquette that is the issue, it is the interpretation of this trend or style that mainly men engage in. Toni I appreciate you speaking on these topics.
Why even center the opinions of men when it comes to grown women expressing themselves in the first place. That’s what I don’t get. Its extremely counterproductive toward the empowerment of other women. Like we need to walk on eggshells bc weird ppl exist. No thank you.
@@jjamison2027well she says it in the video,you came in to the the video without an open mind that’s why your not understanding,the base/history derives from the reactions and result of men so they had something to do with it , and the aesthetic is simply older women seeming or wanting to look younger/childlike FOR men and even when your not trying to it does seem that way because that attraction comes with the style/idea of coquette
Very much so. I’m not understanding the confusion😂 I never said women can’t dress feminine. I am discussing how it has been sexualized. Clearly they didn’t watch until the end lol
@@Blondegrams like when are we gonna stop blaming women for men’s gross behavior? no matter what we do, we are objectified and dehumanized by men. it literally doesn’t matter what we wear. i could be wearing sweatpants and a hoodie and be creeped on by men
I love bows, pink, and girly clothes. Why because I think its cute. I never think about what men like when i get dressed. So i dont care what men or anyone has to say about the way I dress. I dont think it's my responsibility to manage or regulate other ppl views on clothing.
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING, as someone who is also a teenager. I mean if I wear "grown" clothes I'm asking for it from pdf files, but when I wear traditionally modest and feminine clothes I'm also asking for it from pdf files?
I think the issue is acting like a child, using bottles/pacifiers as an accessory, and overall actively trying to portray yourself as childish and seductive at the same time. I wear bows, dresses, and cute shoes and socks. I love dressing up, but I don't act like a child or use children's products as accessories (obviously I'm talking about bottles/diapers/pacifiers/ECT not just anything a child could use).
@@ToniBryanneTV I watched the video and I understood your concerns. The way it was presented was as if the style is inherently pro pedophilic and problematic. Which it is not. Even when you give space to the idea of it being as simple as a fashion choice the title alone overshadows that.
I think you do a great job of talking about such a layered topic with nuance. Like flowy dresses aren’t inherently child-like, bows aren’t, neither is girliness, but when you put them all together and in pastel it does feel child-like. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying that style, but going into the implications and the ripple effect is import too. I’m excited to think more about this!
I personally like this aesthetic and feel like women who criticize others for dressing in a hyper feminine style are undermining individual expression and happiness. Wearing flowy, pink dresses brings me joy and allows me to embrace a part of my identity that feels authentic and beautiful.
Haha all she said was to be aware of the pervasive nature of men/ creeps when you dress like that. Why are you guys so defensive. If you want creeps on you thats on you but dont act surprised when you are dresses that way and you have creeps in your messages or in person them being weird
Personally I think it's super weird for grown adults to act like children and for all the topics discussed at the video. However, I think we should let it be a style not tied to all these fetishes. Currently I love coquette as dressing in dresses and pink bows but understandably in some aspects it is weird.
Agreed. For example, I like to wear my hair in twists and there are people who will tell me that twists are for kids and that I should straighten my hair as an adult. Curly hair, braids, bows, skirts, and pink do not make us children. Wearing cute clothes is not only for children.
There's nothing child-like about being feminine and wearing the color pink. As a black woman, people say that we are too masculine but if we like wearing bows and wearing pretty clothes all of a sudden we're weird and promoting pdfilia; It's bullshit.
Coquette always reminds me of the Spanish word coquetta which usually means sexy/wearing sexy clothes i remember being in my teens and i wore something a bit too revealing and my mom said " no andes de coquetta" meaning don't be out here looking over sexual. I may be completely wrong but its such a similar word and i always say it as a compliment to my girlfriends when they are looking extra hot like "dam girl mira te all coquetta 💕aka " oooo girl look at you looking sexy/fine asf"
You guys have to understand that certain men are gonna sexualize everything, it doesn’t matter what aesthetic it is. That’s why we have to ignore them. I’ve read a lot of these comments and I’ve noticed a lot of women (lowkey) have a problem with other women following the coquette aesthetic just because of how men view it. Especially if it’s a feminine aesthetic. Just because a woman is wearing pink, bows and dresses doesn’t mean she’s trying to please a man. Men literally do this with every clothing aesthetic, most things we wear ALWAYS fit into the male gaze. So that means we shouldn’t judge or assume women are only wearing these clothing for men when this is problem for every aesthetic. It just makes me upset that BOTH men and women have a problem with what we wear.
@@RedWoodtrees77 I don’t think you understood the people I was referring to in my comment. I’m mainly talking to the many women in this comment section and in society who have a problem with what women wear because of how men feel. Oh and also- ANYTHING women wear can bring attention. Her title (she changed it now) was very misleading and part of the reason why people were upset.
Exactly I’ve heard plenty of masc and masculine woman get hit on by men,goth e-girls you name it they sexualize EVERYTHING woman do or wear and that’s the reality tbh I don’t even see little girls dressing in the coquette style they wear there favorite cartoon characters or something and tutus lol
@@sakuraesther6309 If you had read my previous comment, which you didn’t, you would see I wasn’t exactly referring to the maker of this video. You are very loud and wrong hun, capitals do not get your point more.
Girl the girlies in the bows are maaaaaad at you 👀 lol Personally I love to dress extra girly and I think the aesthetic is super cute But I also understand what you're saying. And you didn't even say anything controversial. Just give it a few months for the hype to blow over then everyone will have reflection think pieces about this exact topic. Ex: Lolita 2014 vs 2021
As a teenage girl, I actually loved the coquette aesthetic/style and even though I agree with some of the points in this video I feel like it's very critical towards women for dressing how they want and not the p0rn addicted men that see bows and think children. For me, it's nice taking a break from the oversexualisation with teenage girl clothes. If you go into the clothing section for teenagers it's all crop, crop tops, tight mini skirts, cut outs and body suits. I feel like not only can it be a bit gross as that means more men that are into teenagers feel like they have an excuse of looking at them that way but can also lead to body dysmorphia as at our ages our body weight and shape can be very fluid (some days I look verrry skinny and other days I'm more chubby, or "skinny fat") so the mesh, polyester material does NOT help with that. Compared with the lace cardigans, bows, and interesting patterns that coquette brings, as someone who was OBSESSED with shojo manga/anime growing up, and still am, can't help but fall in love with it. Now I'm not saying that there is no drawbacks; I remember being on Pinterest where people would post things called whispers that would just be a sentence or a few of what they were thinking about at the time and many subscribed to the lolita, nymphet, coquette kind of fashion were very toxic, angry, misogynistic white skinny teenage girls with raging eds that made fun of minority groups. Nowadays they aren't seen as much because literally nobody liked them, truthly I don't think they even liked themselves. However the style on it's own, I cannot deny is pretty and I'm tired of girls and women having to have a nagging man's voice on what to wear because whatever you're wearing you're asking for it. Women historically have wore bows and lace and pink and could be 30-years-old and I think that's where you've lost me. Nothing is wrong wearing these things, acting a way to stimuli p£d0ph!l!c people on the other had is.
i agree that people should be more critical to men for finding it sexy than the teens and young women just wearing bows. i like to wear bows and lace but lace now is so “sensual” that it’s annoying to wear it cause i know people think it’s for attention. i agree with you. you’re allowed to wear ribbons and bows no matter the age. like it’s not inherently sexual, it’s the men who find it sexy that make it sexual.
This video is not bashing women and girls who like feminine things, it’s addressing how these things are used to infantilize and sexualize women and girls who wear them. The video addresses how this is done to women in media (for example, Cat Valentine’s character was intentionally developed to subject the actress to the directors fetishes). And touches on how women can subject themselves and each other to it, as well. Many (obviously not all) women use symbols from the coquette aesthetic to intentionally signify naive sexuality often for attention (and at times financial gain) or partners. You are young so you may not have been exposed to this yet, but it is absolutely dangerous when adult women intentionally present themselves in childlike ways for sexual gratification. It teaches on lookers to associate coquette symbols with sexuality no matter how old the female body they are on is. This has nothing to do with women who just like pink skirts and bows, and everything to do with people who sully them intentionally. They put girls like you in danger for associating with things that are meant to be innocent. I know it’s obvious and right to blame men for being or becoming attracted to these things, but there are adult women who intentionally contribute to that and it’s important they be addressed, as well.
The sexualization of hyperfemininity makes me so sad. I was a big tomboy growing up and it wasn’t until I was 18 or 19 that I started wearing bows in my hair and cute skirts. I went from wall flower to “s*xy baby” so fast and it felt so gross. I hope the fashion trend stays but the sexualization dies down because girls being girls being women being ladies is some top tier sh*t
Ive been into this coquette style lately. I do like it, it’s cute and pretty, but I switch my style up from this, to athletic/sporty, or masculine with oversized clothing. But this is honestly very interesting and informative!
Some of your points are valid but I think it depends on the midset of the person. Of course if you view adults wearing cutesy clothing as weird then it will come off as such when they do but, at the end of the day pink is just a color and bows are just hair/clothing accessories. I feel like this mindset comes from a place of people thinking that "if you're over 30 you shouldn't have hobbies and you should dress boring" adults are allowed to dress how they want as long as they feel comfortable in it. Take lolita fashion as an example, lolita has nothing to do with the book in fact is has a history of being very modest with dresses being at knee length and having blouses under dresses. But, men have taken that and twisted it by being like "you're trying to attract p3d0's by dressing like that!" when it's just a fun (although very expensive) hobby bringing it back to my previous point of adults not being able to have hobbies in today's society. If you read this feel free to tell me if you agree or disagree! I'm happy to explain my point further.
I agree on the Lolita fashion. I have a family members that automatically thinks of the book when it has nothing to do with the book. Its an alternative fashion that takes rococo, Edwardian fashion and made it super pastel, goth, or historical. Its definitely breaking its way through in the western world, and taken out of content be seen as catering when its not, its a fashion hobby and extremely modest too. I love it, but of course some people will look at it in a negative sexual way when its not 😢
I absolutely agree. I had to grow up fast and wasn't given the freedom to explore my identity and self expression, so as an adult, I find it really healing to be able to enjoy some of the things that may be connected to my childhood or to a childhood I didn't get to have. I also had to deal with a lot of cult minded judgment, and it's taken a while, but I find it's not healthy to center the way you are around the fear of what other people will think of you. People don't know your story or why you dress or act the way you do, but if they approach with curiosity rather than judgment, maybe they'll find out 😊
I feel a lot of the comments are slightly confused about this. Bows and frills are not inherently coquette. Coquette itself means a flirt and a woman who knows how to manipulate men. Coquette is meant to cater to the male gaze. It's the whole point. Borrowing fashion aesthetics inspired by school girl apperal and nabokov's description of what Dolores wore (lolita) is inherently disturbing. There is however a much longer history of women dumbing themselves down and infantalizing themselves for male attention. Just see some of Marylin Monroes roles. Yes men finding this attractive is vile and should be addressed, but ideas like this should also not be popularized. Personally I think this girlish feminine look should be renamed.
it just needs to be renamed, period. there wouldn’t be a need to compare it to the male gaze if the name itself didn’t come from such origins. along with the history of child sexualization. but it’s obvious that many woman have taken as a style to feel comfortable in, so thats a step.
I find it interesting that dressing like a bimbo Instagram baddie is acceptable, but dressing more feminine and girly is rooted in misogyny? That’s actually really crazy. I think it highlights how much people really don’t like young girls and hyper-sexualize what should be innocence. Feels like people are projecting their insecurities on the people who participate in this aesthetic.
It's also new though. People were against the baddie look in the beginning too and then eventually accepted it. I think people will come around when the baddie look faded out a little more. I do agree with what you wrote about projecting and oversexualizing innocent things
I love stereotypical hyperfeminine stuff such as pastel colours, lace, frills and cute stuff in general and I used to be a part of the lolita (fashion) community. I’ve always seen this as a nice complement to my other side, which is not particularly “cute” and although it is kind of unexpected for some people, it makes total sense to me. It’s my way to express my femininity, which I consider more of an spectrum than a fixed definition. For me, coquette is just that, a stereotypically hyperfeminine aesthetic. If somebody thinks it infantilises, fetichises or empowers women, that’s an option, but at least for me it’s a way to express another side of myself.
Lolita fashion's intentionally female-centric and doesn't cater to the male gaze, but to a feminine ideal, you'll notice it more when you colpare coquette and Lolita fashion blogs on tumblr-Lolita HATE to be sexualized and dress rather modestly, little skin showing, traditionally not even showing knees, socks/stockings, you'll rarely see exposed shoulders... coquette, you'll see a ton of thigh pics, lingerie, sexualized poses with teddies or Mary Janes... coquette is very nymphet. A lot of Lolita blogs will straight up ask DD/lg, kinksters, and coquettes not to interact because they don't want to be sexualized...
Croquettes name should be changed, cuz this ain’t for the men. I feel like it’s a step up (if done right/with no ill intent) from all the crop tops and clothes showing everything for the world to see.. I feel like it’s a reminder to women and girls, it’s okay to be feminine and it’s okay to wear pink frilly dresses with pretty bows. Nowadays kids can’t even be kids, let alone girls can’t even be girls without sexualization at every turn. If this is how you guys feel about women wearing stuff like this, then I wonder what you guys think when 5 yr old girls wear it.
a personal view on this video is that it’s whole purpose was merely to bring out the negatives around it so people can think down upon the style and the woman who have love for it, it’s all so judgey…😕
So coquette has the same issues as j-fashion street fashion known as Lolita fashion. Where a bunch of ladies (usually) dress in super feminine attire and male gaze makes it creepy? I enjoy ribbons 🎀 and puff. I enjoy dressing in them with other ppl. Drinking tea and eating sweets like wth.
i thought we left this discourse back a year or 2 ago when ppl were claiming it's encouraging "p3doph1llia" & infantilization for creepy men when in reality 98% of people who participate in this style simply enjoy it...for themselves. y'all don't look at young women in japan wearing lolita dresses as "appealing to creepy men" even though it's literally a style inspired but cutesy, child-like fashion. idk why coquette is under fire especially when the concept of dressing hyper feminine has always been a thing even without the term "cOquEttE AeSTheTic" attached to it.
In asia they are hella weird / pedos dude they make all the girls act like kids and be kids like - that weiiiird and if you dont think so its probably because your a weirdo too
Maybe you could redo the video and just talk about one topic? This video is really all over the place. Sexualizing coquette, trad wives, ped0philia, anime.. It's really too much. I think talking about the new "bow" trend and "im just a girl" could have been more interesting and easy to follow. I see from the comments that most viewers were confused about your point in this video.
😂 lol I didn’t know it was that serious. She isn’t reporting for channel 10 News. she was just making a video expressing the thoughts she had in her head. She isn’t writing a scholarly article 😂
Nara’s content is so comical to me bcuz true, real homemakers do NOT cook in full on feathery Chanel or make their kids wait hours for homemade bread. It’s perfect for content tho but for people to think this is what a stay at home mom is-FOH!!!!!!!!! It’s all an act for likes, views & money!!!
I was raised & homeschooled by my stay-at-home mom, and I would define her more as a stubborn tomboy who ruled the house with an iron fist and a golden heart than a quiet lady who spent all her days in the kitchen. But both are fine I guess. ❤
I like the coquette aesthetic but my overall problem is with the kid's items some people add such as the bottles and pacifiers or wearing a bloomer and pose in a way to potray a child but in a sexual way it disgust me tbh
I've always dressed this way since I was a kid. I don't want to change the way I dress. I was overly criticized all the time because I prefer the academia look which also has plaid skirts and looks "school girly." But coquette really makes me just think it's hyper feminine. And hyper femininity is considered "immature" - I NEVER EVER thought of it as infantilizing myself to dress this way. It's because I like it and I never "grew" out of it... it just is a part of my identity. i grew up loving ballet and hyper feminine things while being a very masculine person. It all just sounds like MEN don't know how to just let aesthetics be aesthetics. If I like to dress kawaiii and colorful and frilly that is FOR ME not FOR THEM... we need to teach men to stop sexualizing everything women do... including our clothes.
I think women should be able to wear whatever they want without blaming them for men's weird behavior yk. Not because a certain thing is considered "childish" doesn't mean it's gonna be forever. No matter what we wear or what we do, men are gonna sexualize it. Unless it's literally the reason why this trend exist in the first place.
this trend doesn’t exist because of sexualization, it exists because girls have found themselves loving the same hyperfeminine style they were born into (likely).
I feel like this video is a tad off. the "dumb and sexy" trope is not the same as coquette. Wearing cute or pink clothing and bows is not even coquette either. You're talking about infantilizing and misogyny. My name isn't childish or a fetish. I really think this video is a bit all over the place and seems to be judging women for how men are being weird. Especially when you brought up anime like its our fault that men have created this universe 😭 i just don't understand what youre trying to do here
I feel like this video should've been specifically about the male gaze rather than the coquette aesthetic, given that a lot of the examples of the perception of trad wives and the presence of infantalization when it comes to women is mainly due to the male gaze rather than women and girls choosing to wear bows or the color pink.
This comment ^^. A lot of the people in the comment section that are fans of hers are making it out like she perfectly articulated this topic, but in actuality she’s talking about a whole different topic!
You probably didn't grow up around those Christian areas. The dresses with the tule and the bows and bonbons and cute white socks were commonly worn. Even those shoes similar to Mary Jane's. That's why I love those shoes they were always cute. It's bad because some women wear these with weird intentions. But as an adult it's weird to want to dress like your little cousins. Not to mention this aesthetic has always been associated with fetishes and grooming, unfortunately. However, for many of you claiming why is it wrong for you to dress like this, it's because it isn't. But, you people never even tried to find the problem or fixed it. And countless of you are acting as if this aesthetic never had any negative air about it. 1. Kpop idols are cute until you realize these people are adults acting and talking like children intentionally. 2. Nothing is wrong with dressing in the soft aesthetic unless you have the wrong intentions. 3. I'm not gonna pretend as if for years dressing like a school girl is sexualized, even if it's cute. 4. Before tiktok the whole coquette trend wasn't even as popular so there goes half of this "it's what I felt like wearing" cause right now half of the goths and emos we had in 2020 are not here us after the trends changed. 5. Speaking of tiktok the whole coquette thing blew up with Lolita and Lana del ray glamorization. Very creepy. 6. Anime, I love anime however, some animes are just a no becuase of the female character designs and behaviors that the creator gives them 7. Ariana Grande, as a teen it's weird that we looked up to this childish WOMAN. As someone in my late teens, that was weird, very weird that she acted the way she did and only recently started acting like an actual adult. 8. Omg the daddy and step daughter corn. Did we forget that existed as well. Overall nothing is wrong with the aesthetic however, it has always been sexualized but nobody tried to desxualize it. Most people missed the point of this video and it's very real especially if you have childlike features as you grow older. Someone even tried pressuring me to be more "cute" 😂
Lolitta is wrong; not coquette. And a child should never be described as coquette or dressed as such, it never was a kid's aesthetic to begin with. Moreover, some us naturally look cute and look best in hyper feminine clothes, we can't all dress the same because some of you have questionable ways of thinking about women and children. In other words you are the problem, not those women cause they didn't do anything wrong.
Speak louder!! Many of the girls she shows are flattering more with feminine things!! Jennie kim,Ariana Grande,etc.me,as an e.g I don't look good with traditionaly serious clothes, sexy or overly dark feminine clothes, so,thats means, there is a problem dressing like that? One of the reasons why they became soo popular is bcs of the style of clothing.
I think there are certain lines that when crossed, definitely play into the male gaze and over se.ulisation, but just by wearing bows and frilly stuff that’s not the case imo Also the costume shown was a skimpyfied version of a traditional German/austrian dress (also not traditional to show a lot of cleavage or leg in a dirndl, that’s a more modern phenomenon) - the dress itself isn’t problematic, that particular version of it is So if the clothes are showing a lot of skin or it looks just straight out of a fetish magazine yes, that’s definitely problematic (imo) but one can dress with elements of coquette without being full blown coquette Like wearing a Trenchcoat doesn’t make it old money aesthetic or whatever this could fall into
If you find that to be childish I think that’s a you issue honestly. There’s nothing wrong with dressing feminine and it doesn’t automatically mean they’re doing it for the male gaze. And the women who dress that way, are not responsible for the men.
rt, my thoughts are like “why do things like this have to be ruined because of the attention it may get from males or what they think about it?” if we’re gonna be fr it just like them having control over what we wear. I didnt view it as childish before watching the video . I don’t completely view it as childish even now. I just feel like it is something cute that is ruined by people who think sexually all the time. I think of it as adorable but not even in a childlike way, just a feminine soft pink everywhere way.
Did I say there was anything wrong with dressing feminine? Please give a time stamp where those words came out my mouth. I said how it can POTENTIALLY be seen as such. I never said end all be all. I literally dress very feminine and have always been a “girly girl”. I’m speaking about the trend and romanticizing of coquette in an inappropriate manner.
@@ToniBryanneTV I think your title is misleading then😅 maybe something along the lines of ‘the modern day sexualization of the croquet aesthetic’ would be more fitting. The title is most likely shaping how people are perceiving the information you’re presenting.
I understand where you are coming from but in reality, i dont see children dressing in coquette style at all. I only see grown woman wear this style, and myself wear this style, and as history states, its a rebellious thing that men couldn’t get a hold of. Alot of the items that are for sale in the coquette style, i don’t see kids wearing, even when i was a kid in the early 2000’s and 2010s. Bows are a hairpiece, and i wouldn’t say something sexual. I understand what you are saying and it’s definitely problematic, on a sense regarding pedos. They are going to find children sexual regardless of what they wear simply because they are children. I dont think its necessarily the fashion but society as a whole deeming anything hyperfeminine to be demonized. Alot of frills and bows were very popular among grown woman in the 18th century and previous. I do think its a problem when bows, frills, pink and anything hyperfeminine is considered sexual or catering to pedos. Since the book lolita, society got it twisted, and it seems if its not baddie, sophisticated or modest it will be a problem and hence a grown woman dressing like a “child”. Alot of regular men i know, even my own husband hate this fashion because its too girly, hyperfeminine, and cute. I do agree on alot of points made, but when it comes to coquette and the fashion, i had to agree to disagree 😭
Literally, there are adult women that infantilize themselves in order for example of selling online content. But they do not use coquette style, they literally use children clothes (like literally 🤢) and acessories. Coquette is not a child style or pedobait, they are two different things.
I'm not an avid watcher of this channel, but everytime I'm here it's just so refreshing- hearing from someone with a sane moral compass, intelligence, and grace. I know you never really know people online, but honestly she seems like someone I'd totally chill with IRL. Lol
I think it's truly tragic how most women just like the aesthetic of pink/bows/flowers and it's seen as problematic. However I agree that there are some cases where women will dress in very child-like ways, which then only leads to sexualization of children and it only makes girls lives harder. Imagine being a 12yo girl, not being able to wear a pink dress with bows because now it's seen as 'sexy'. Maybe there's a fine line between child-like and coquette?
That is my issue with this style. A few women only dress like this because they have a daddy/dom kink. Yes, we can always blame men but let’s also hold grown women who sexualize this style accountable.
i love your videos, but i feel as though there were a lot of misconceptions in this one. there’s a difference between lolita, coquette, dollette and all these other aesthetics and it feels very weird to blur these lines.
That line sounded so funny “she likes to wear frilly dresses and run in fields.” I never realized how much perversion this style could have. I like bows for hair accessories sometimes but I wouldn’t want it to be seen as a perversion style ever.
@@RedWoodtrees77 I heard her point and I think she was conflating two different things and then criticizing women for how men see their fashion choices. I watched the entire video and that was my impression. The only thing I agree with is actually wearing stuff like bottles and pacifiers that are specifically made for babies and then acting like a child is an issue but most people who dress cute aren’t doing that and they get lumped into this, just like she did in her video
First off I want to say it wasn’t the croquette aesthetic that was a thing in the 2010s it was the nymphet aesthetic and it was a lot different from the croquette aesthetic. It involved a lot of red and shapes like hearts and cherries and lana del rays image/aesthetic aligned more with the nymphet and vintage Americana aesthetic and the only reason why the croquette aesthetic has become exualized is because a lot of the nymphet girls hijacked the aesthetic in the late 2010s. And that’s why a lot of people associate the croquette aesthetic with the exualization of children and think that Lana is the inventor of it
I’ll have to disagree with you for the first time Toni. Coquette style and "soft girl" just go together, we already fought for feminism and wearing pants but now we just wanna be women and girls again.
This was a stretch. The coquette style doesn’t go hand in hand with trad wife bs. Plus enjoying frilly, feminine things is perfectly normal. Just because men are digesting doesn’t mean the women who like it should feel bad for it. Society as a whole already likes to shit on the things women enjoy.
Who said you have to feel bad 😂😂😂 all she said was be aware of the creeps. Yall are so defensive almost borderline defending creeps. We get yall want to free the nipple, dress like hoes, dress like kids, we get that guys cant have an understanding to history. For everything yall get defensive. How about yall shut up and listen more
A woman can wear hyper feminine styles, but her motives are far from attracting male gaze or being submissive to men ;) In 21 century we have the freedom to put our own meanings in the way we dress. I love girly and hyper feminine styles, for me it’s about healing my inner child and escaping the burden of the life for a while 🤍
Respectfully I think this video isn’t as well researched as the rest, I think it may be because you aren’t familiar in aesthetics but some that u were showing don’t even correlate with coquette.
i’m so glad u brought up k-pop idols because when i saw this video i was like “this sounds a lot like k-pop shit” so K-POP IS DEFINITELY PUSHING THE SEXUALIZATION OF GIRLY OR FUN TYPE OF STUFFFF. i’ve recently seen a group called “Cignature” get into some sexualization and jeyun or jooyun? i forgot her name but her company made her do an interview w a 🌽⭐️…and she said “you should get into the industry, you have the body for it, seriously. i’ll help you.” and her company gave her THE TINIEST TOP that shows her chest? like EUGH? (also the 🌽⭐️ so happens to be japanese tew..) and the skirt Cardi was wearing looks like one Yves (ex loona member) was wearing. so yes you are completely correct on the kpop aspect of things.
@@Yoongi10269 RIGHT? the debut song was good but all of the child-like clothing honestly rubbed me the wrong way, if they didn’t make illit so child-like i would’ve probably stanned.
as a coquette girl i do totally agree with most of what you said in the video but i would like to point out that not all of us do it for the wrong reasons, we simply just like the style/ aesthetic and think it’s cute 🥺♡
I suggest to remove the girl on the right beside the blonde girl on your thumbnail. She's a minor and I don't think it's appropriate to put her there considering the title of the video.
Whatever path we choose, we'll be trapped. It's strange how people jump to vilify women who want to be homemakers because all I know is women in the past fought to have choice and they're making a choice. Why is it wrong for a woman to not want to work outside home? Why is it wrong for a woman to choose a husband and a family over a boss and a career? Yes, women should have backup plans and the ability to survive without a man but that doesn't mean a family oriented woman can't have these qualities and thrive
*Marilyn Monroe's voice is a great example.* That wasn't her real speaking voice and she used it to make herself more approachable and less intimidating. For the men, she created the 50/50 hot bombshell and coquettish simpleton. She knew how to play the game and that's why she founded her own production company during a time when women didn't do it. Genius. 💃👄
No matter what ppl do, it's always going to be a negative side to it. That on itself can't be ignored by some ppl. I think the video is informative and well put out, but overall ppl are gonna dress the way they like despite the negative connotations.
I personally really love it, my dad demonized femininity, pink and frills and bows were looked down on, liking boy bands and things like that were criticized and mocked. Now that I'm older I get to enjoy the things I wasn't allowed to before and it's really nice.
I’ve been the coquette aesthetic since I started earning my own money and could buy my own stuff … I’ve always worn bows in my hair because when I was a little girl I had a foster mother that hated me and always kept my hair boy-short… I envied my pretty and girly classmates. When I finally got away from my mean foster mother, I started to dress cute and girly with the bows and accessories I envied as a little kid. I remember, when I was 18, my boss (a man🙄) told me after a meeting, that I was every man’s fantasy. I didn’t understand him until he said something to the effect of, “you know, your pigtails, bows and little skirt.” I was revolted and embarrassed … anyway, I no longer dress too coquettish… but still love bows and girly glitter things🫶🏻
ngl when i see this style i never thought of little girls but i understand why someone would think so. but at the same time, i work with little kids and none of the little girls dress like this, they wear t-shirts and shorts/pants.
The little girl dont dress up like that anymore because moms dont even get their kids ready anymore. They dont dress kids as kids. It is a little weird for a grown women to want to look like a kid. But there is a fine line between
the only connection I see between women and girl’s clothing is the same colors and material. I don’t think that’s enough to say that it’s mimicking children’s wear. They infantilize femininity.
@@RedWoodtrees77? I don’t think that’s the reason but it can very through different cultures. Honestly I mostly see children and even holder picks there wearing there favorite cartoon characters and a tutu or something
Nah it's a difference of culture becuase kids do dress like this. Or atleast a few years ago parents put these clothes on especially Christians. The whole cartoon thing only became popular for children recently since people started to become less religious.
People changed the definition of the word “pick me” alot but this should be the new one. Having a problem with literally ANYTHING a woman does. How can an adult be this disturbed with harmless things? If a woman wants to dress feminine/HYPERFEMININE (the real term before the coquette got revamped) why can’t she? Do girls stop liking pink/flowers/bows after a certain age? You are so obsessed with the idea of woman being a one way street and if they aren’t like you they’re doing something wrong. Anyway, real ones know the “coquette aesthetic” came from inspiration 50s american women, southern/western town people, Priscilla, lana del rey etc. it was then changed to be “hyperfeminine” because chronically online people run with words. Anyway women you do not have to act like Latto mwah. Oh and people are attracted to real children anyway so blaming women who dress any type of way for being the reason is insane
It’s ironic because I feel like teenage girls are dressing like adults & trying to grow up fast whereas older gen z is trying to heal their inner child 😂 I have been trying to embrace my femininity in self expression through clothes and it’s been healing my inner child, reclaiming my girlhood & making me so happy! I grew up as a tom boy and hating pink and borderline being a pick me bc of internalized misogyny due to men around me growing up. I was very much in my masc and I presented that way through fashion a lot of the time, but I found the love of my life and he supports me no matter what. He allowed me to find balance in my masc and femme energies. We both don’t care for strict gender roles and he has never cared about what I decide to do for myself or how I want to express myself. I think this aesthetic is just trendy and people are hopping on it and people always will do that. I think desiring homemaking for people dressing like this is a stretch or if it’s not it’s a far fetched dream (in this economy?!). if you want me to be honest EVERYONE wishes they could just stay home and be present and live life and take care of themselves and their family- a simple life. But capitalism doesn’t allow for that especially if you’re poor. I’m the breadwinner in my relationship and I’ve been embracing parts of this aesthetic… everyone’s situation is nuanced 🤷🏽♀️. This was a good video I haven’t seen much commentary on this topic and I learned a lot!
It shocks me that people’s level of discernment on the internet it’s very low. A lot of y’all don’t even get what Toni is saying 🤦♀️ Maybe try rewatching the video without judging and ACTUALLY listen to what she’s saying!
These ppl in the comments are weird- they are borderline defending weirdo by trying to act like they dresses “ empowered “ all she bas stated is to be aware of the creepiness history
You sound jealous and you’re literally one of the people I was talking about in my comment. Again- us liking coquette is not us defending predators. It has nothing to do with men. In your other comments, you keep acting like the sexualization is our fault. Your comments in this comment section is very weird.
Cant we wear what we want beacause of men these years? me dressing like this doesn't mean i wanna look like a "good girl" or child i like it beacause its feminine nothing else
I love hair bows and I’m glad it’s a trend now bc it’s easy to find good ones now 🤣🤣🤣 I do however see how taking the coquette style to the extreme for smeggsual reasons is very weird!!
There's a lot of themes to unpack in this video beside the coquette aesthetic that works at odds and in tandem with each other that I wanted to list them for thought and try to show how I understood your video: Sexual vulnerability, aesthetic culture, self/outside infantilization of women in and outside media, trauma signaling vs. seduction, male gaze hypersexuality and pornography, performative femininity, traditionalism, and the crossing with modern feminism, as well as the fear of male dependency in marriage, lack of social and financial safety nets, the cautions of religious cults, and the perceived expendability of the wife in modern marriage. All of these are represented and made relevant in the vulnerability of women as well as modern woman's want for a model (usually outside of their own personal family/parents) of what it means to be a woman, how to attract (or if you should) a life partner, and the search for answers in aesthetics and ideologies to model the self after in pursuit of value. From a Christian perspective the main solution is to search for key truths to live by rather than an aesthetic or an -ism to model yourself after, and these questions to get there are knowing why you have value, why lust is harmful to men AND women, why marriage is valuable, why having a healthy social circle matters, what your purpose is, how to heal from trauma, and how to find/ what traits a partner who will commit and truly love you unconditionally. Of course my answer to those questions is the pursuit of Jesus Christ, but if you don't accept that as an answer obviously and seriously ask yourself those previous questions to start searching for truth. Also Mormonism is a cult, that woman's story was heartbreaking to hear her powerlessness and that isn't how God wants us to treat each other.
Unfortunately both the Lolita and Coquette aesthetic are often viewed from the perspective of women dressing for attention from older men. Why were women dressing younger to get older men to notice them? I like the style because it’s cute, not because I want a creepy, pedophelic man to notice me and get interested.
When i was younger i went the alternative route specifically for the male gaze. Now im 31 and i like this style and more girly femme looks. I think as a black woman i never got to explore this side it wasn't super encouraged. I still feel like i dont get to be femme or shouldnt its interesting. I also study sw and sex appeal and know that men will sexualize anything its pretty scary. But growing up i used to dumb myself down for men because thats what they liked now i realize so many men are predators and our socialization in general is to infantilize us. I think thats why many can feel lost without that appeal or as they get older. Our societies also wants to stay young forever. I get creeped out by this style sometimes tho because here in Mexico the kids are legit wearing these schoolgirl outfits i fear for them
Something I was told a long time ago by an older woman that I will never forget is, "It's easy to be happily married and sleep beside a man every night when you FEEL in love with him. The real test is when you're unhappily married, arguing everyday, struggling to get by, and that FEELING of being in love with the man you married is replaced by only KNOWING you love him. Many marriages don't last anymore because loyalty and commitment are being thought of as optional." And this will always stick with me.
I at first understood what Toni's intention was but it kind of got lost as the video went on. (Not that it wasn't a great video! But the main message wasn't completely clear the whole way through.) I do appreciate how you connected the style to the tradwife movement and the toxic aspects of it. I know tradwives get sexualized but that is not usually the case on the parts of the internet I see so I didn't immediately connect tradwife with oversexualization-- although I know that's not the only layer you wanted to discuss about that subtopic. I feel the point might have been made more clear by further discussing the people that use hyperfemininity as a tool for attention and feed off of it like certain adult video models and infliuencers. That part missing is what might make it feel like you're only addressing young women that dress like a "girly girl". Maybe a part 2 might be a good way to clarify your main points? Either way, love your videos, Toni!
I haven’t finished watching the video yet but this video is so good! And something I want to point out is how I most notably have noticed that this aesthetic seems to be most popular amongst white women and also comes from white people. With that being said, there is a type of femininity preferred amongst white people and I believe this is why you notice most often that the people playing into this aesthetic are white women/adjacent because they are aware of what their culture of men tend to prefer. In contrast, I realize that most often Black girls are sexualized at young ages for their physical features, etc. where as SOME white women seem to infantilize themselves as they age because they know that it’s their currency as adults. And I would also like to point out that I am not saying that Black women do not like pink or bows etc. or that liking these things means you are infantilizing yourself. HOWEVER, I do recognize as a Black woman that even our preferred image of femininity is very different from white women’s. I would love for this to be discussed further in more depth because i’m really starting to realize that a lot of white women’s ideals of femininity have been shaped by patriarchy and white supremacy and that a lot of them, no matter how feminist they claim to be still play into the patriarchy and white supremacy.
I agree. White* women are infantilised in *stark* contrast to how black girls are seen as older- I forget the damn word, maybe "adultified", but the idea made sense to me. And it sounded scarier in many ways. It's painful but necessary to learn the blind spots & failures of white feminism, & white women generally. If I'm unknowingly playing into patriarchy & white supremacy, in ways I can't see cos I'm white, I want to know so I can stop it. I have a _vague_ feeling about white women maybe wanting to appear fragile & in need of protection, & that certainly has some horrible white supremacist baggage, but I don't know- as you said, further discussion would be good. (*I think Asian women are infantilised too, especially if they're East Asian, but obviously that's different).
The cottage core/coquette aesthetic is French European in origin and white women are European. It’s really not that deep. Every race and culture has their style and that’s ok. We Jamaicans enjoy earthy looks which can be sensual but has nothing to do with patriarchy but just embracing our feminine and divine energy. Again, it’s not that deep.
I think Brigitte Bardot is the OG Coquette which is influencing this aesthetic. She was grown tho - and not infantilized. Rather, lace, satin and frills are weaponized post childhood to affect the world around you. Not to be a trad wife.
Im someone who has recently been dipping my toes into coquette and its all for myself. I love the style and i feel so cute and feminine in it. I just wear it when i want to be more femme for the day! Men should stop ruining everything nice
@@bluud6 yeah... when i wear oversized hoodies and edgy clothes its 'youre not going to attract a man this way' and when i dress like this its suddenly just for those men... we should all dress for ourselves only
I just wanted to add that “coquette” (or “coquet”) is not se*ual at all in french (it means that someone cares about their looks, not superficial), I know the style was created in english-speaking spaces but still, right now the word is never used that way Since I’m french I’m not sure I wrote everything wright but I hope you guys get the idea
Here’s my take, I do agree that it is very problematic to act childish/dress childish in a sexualized manner, and I have seen some of that In certain styles, but it’s everywhere, not just in coquettes. But I what I disagree with is the statement that dressing more traditionally feminine means that you are doing that. I feel as though some modern feminists have gone way to restrictive by trying to demonize woman for making more traditional choices. If a woman chooses to become a girl-boss and start her own business, that amazing, we should support that, if a woman chooses a more traditional lifestyle, we should also support that. I don’t believe it’s wrong if women decide to be more feminine or more masculine, it’s their choice.
So clearly there is a major misinterpretation of the context of the video going on. I NEVER said that it is bad to dress more feminine or girly. I am strictly speaking on the sexualization of dressing in the coquette style. I don’t know where the confusion is coming from especially if you are a supporter of mine. I literally have been one of the “girliest girls” since a child 😂 I wear pink, frills, makeup, lace, all the things like where could you possibly get I am judging women for dressing feminine??? It’s wrong when you’re purposely dressing like a child to get a certain level of attention. That’s what I was saying.
Infantilizing women for wearing bows, lace, or the color pink is insane. Women cannot do anything. Wearing pink short skirts and bows in your hair? You’re dressing like a child. Wearing skin tight skinny jeans? Bodycon dresses? Showing any amount of cleavage? You’re a whore. Wearing sweatpants? You can still be unnecessarily sexualized. Depending on the type of person, they do not care what you’re wearing. Let’s not say women are dressing like children when they clearly look like adults wearing short skirts and dresses. Women are allowed to wear cute attire and want to feel good for themselves. Not everything is centered around men. You contradict yourself in your explanation saying you’re a “girly girl” but then saying women are “purposefully” dressing like children to get attention. I’m sure 99% of women who wear this style are not doing it for attention or to be seen as child. What in the world? Forget how anyone else perceives them. They need to work that out for themselves if they look at a grown woman and instantly think of a child instead. This world would be a much better place if people minded their own business and weren’t so judgmental about anything and everything.
There is no confusion or misinterpreting, Toni. You articulated yourself very well. It goes back to what the woman in one of the last clips stated and no lie was told-“[…]bffr[…] your boobs are fully developed but your brain is not.”
The problem that lies with anyone who is “confused” or “misinterpreting” in what you presented is all personal. Too wrapped up in their feelings.
Do you Toni, keep these healthy double-sided research vlogs going? I may not agree with some things you say but I listen and eventually understand your perception shared. Cheers, thank you is what they should be saying, or nothing at all because something all too many people don’t understand is manners and not ALWAYS having something to say. Cheers.❤
Almost anyone who is "misinterpreting" your video has probably not seen it the whole way through. They became defensive the moment they saw it. It's not your fault at all ❤️ keep up the good work ☺️
ahhhhh you are on it we gotta talk about the feelz right!?!?!?!?! a part 2/follow up
People lack any real media literacy and literacy period lol. Tiktok brain rot and 'what about me" ism.
Some people need to watch the whole video. She's not calling out the women who are innocently partaking in the coquette girl aesthetic that are being sexualized, but the women and men who are sexualizing something that should be otherwise innocent.
Literally, there are a lot of women that use pedobait (specially in reddit) and of course the source of it is the consumer that majority are males. I think people did not watch all of it...
I don't have problems with adults having 'weird' fetishes as long as everyone involved are adults. Maybe another way to look at it is that it's better they do it together than with actual child. Those type of ppl aren't going away. They can role-playing with each other instead of harming ppl.
@Play4keeks the problem is this comunicates that their "fetish" is valid, but having a fetish on children is not a fetish it is a parafily and needs to be treated. It does not get these people away from real children, what does that are laws. This only contribute to further sexualize children acts or clothes (like Japanese school uniforms for example)
@@Play4keeks the issue is the people bringing it onto the internet in public spaces like tiktok
@@uniquenewyork3325 the internet is a public space but we control what we watch...unfortunately, I don't believe the internet is a place for children
I do find the coquette aesthetic slightly problematic, but I think it's the male gaze specifically that makes it problematic. I personally enjoy the bows and frills for myself, though I don't fit into any one aesthetic. It's one of those things where we need to ask ourselves WHY we want to dress in this way. Is it truly our own interest and style, or is it for the attention of a partner (regardless of gender)?
exactly. i can’t stand it when people blame women for men’s weird behavior. we literally can’t do anything
I agree. I like it because I think its cute. That's it. Different moods require different clothing, but I never feel like or act like a child no matter what I wear. I think this video almost demonizes a type of clothing no matter who wears it or why.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to dress/present to impress a man. It’s literally in our dna.
@@jennifercromwell2497 actually it's not. It's more in the man's DNA to look good for women. In nature the males of a species look the best. The problem we have as a species is that men have learned to have a monopoly over resources so they don't have to be the most physically fit or attractive. They just need to have the resources. They've switched the natural dynamics to best suit them.
@@jennifercromwell2497 maybe it's ok when you like one special man/person and you ofc want them to find you beautiful, but ultimately you should dress for yourself and how you feel the most comfortable. Oh, and it's not "in our dna", cause 1)every person is different 2) we're not just animals. That's just sounds ignorant and that's exactly one of the arguments men use to say that women's lifes revolve around them🙄
Everyone in the comments are misunderstanding this video sooo much😭
I’m scratching my head as I type this 😂
They all sound as dumb as the women who “freed” the nipple for “empowerment “ 😂😂😂 just to walk down the street parading naked giving everyone a free show
Rightttt
They are being selectively Dumb .Because the truth of the matter is that there are so many women who SEXUALISE it on social media
@@ToniBryanneTV First off I want to say it wasn’t the croquette aesthetic that was a thing in the 2010s it was the nymphet aesthetic and it was a lot different from the croquette aesthetic. It involved a lot of red and shapes like hearts and cherries and lana del rays image/aesthetic aligned more with the nymphet and vintage Americana aesthetic and the only reason why the croquette aesthetic has become exualized is because a lot of the nymphet girls hijacked the aesthetic in the late 2010s. And that’s why a lot of people associate the croquette aesthetic with the exualization of children and think that Lana is the inventor of it.
All the people getting butt hurt in the comments is hilarious 😭 ppl fr act like cutesy and pastel stuff hasn't been sexualized forever. As a person who also wears pastel and cute clothing it's a shame people don't have the nauce to criticize or recognize the other side of the "aesthetic" they participate in. Ain't no one said you can't be cutesy and UWU but don't ignore that the community has toxicity like all do 💃🏾 and ppl fr act like women do not have the ability to sexualize themselves in cute or pastel clothes. 💀💀💀
okay, the community of the style is toxic…now what. I don’t see the aftermath of this opinion leaving an effect at all, we can’t but every weirdo who sexualizes the style in the corner, sometimes it better to ignore it and shine even brighter light on the positives.
Yes .... "men are serializing me " GIRL YOUR DRESSING SEXY ON PURPOSE AND THEN PUT A BOW in your hair GET A GRIP
Also like using frills and bows and pink doesn’t automatically makes it coquette?? There are many other aesthetics that do so too? What’s so difficult to understand that coquette is a type of aesthetic that takes what’s is normally associated with young girls, girlhood and innocence and tries to sell it under a pseudo-seductress lense for the male gaze? We really do be excusing Humbert Humbert left and right, huh
@@bluud6Bruv, thats the issue. NOT speaking out about the toxic things is what makes a community more toxic. Esp since "coquette" is a community/style that intersects w/ LITERAL minors and other glamorized problematic media. Just focusing on the positives doesn't work in reality unless toxic positivity is your jam. Definitely not saying to hyper fixate on it but being aware, educated and speaking out about things that are not right is important.
@@lepetitmonster8737 THIS. Like ppl need to stop painting coquette as some whimsical ass UWU girly aesthetic. It's literally glamorized predator fantasy 💀 but ppl who are angry got their ignorance showing
She never said you can’t dress feminine she just stated the origin.
Right I was wondering why everyone was losing their shit 😂
i feel like alot of people mad in the comments did not watch the video in entirety. Toni says on multiple occasions that it isnt the person dressed in coquette that is the issue, it is the interpretation of this trend or style that mainly men engage in. Toni I appreciate you speaking on these topics.
Why even center the opinions of men when it comes to grown women expressing themselves in the first place. That’s what I don’t get. Its extremely counterproductive toward the empowerment of other women. Like we need to walk on eggshells bc weird ppl exist. No thank you.
the whole resides around making the coquette style negative, it’s “oh look that’s cute…buuut p3dos are attracted to that so it’s not”. 😀
@@jjamison2027well she says it in the video,you came in to the the video without an open mind that’s why your not understanding,the base/history derives from the reactions and result of men so they had something to do with it
, and the aesthetic is simply older women seeming or wanting to look younger/childlike FOR men and even when your not trying to it does seem that way because that attraction comes with the style/idea of coquette
I think you guys are misunderstanding what she is saying.
Very much so. I’m not understanding the confusion😂 I never said women can’t dress feminine. I am discussing how it has been sexualized. Clearly they didn’t watch until the end lol
@@ToniBryanneTV I haven't watched until the end yet either, but I completely understand what you're saying. I also don't understand the confusion.
how is it our fault that men over sexualize everything. i just like bows, lace, and pink. if some creepy man makes it weird that’s his problem
Exactly my thoughts 😊
Thissss
Exactly
@@Blondegrams like when are we gonna stop blaming women for men’s gross behavior? no matter what we do, we are objectified and dehumanized by men. it literally doesn’t matter what we wear. i could be wearing sweatpants and a hoodie and be creeped on by men
@@Blondegrams we need to stop blaming women for how men treat us. men are gonna treat us how they want regardless of what we wear
If I want to dress up in pink frilly dresses and adorn my bedroom with dolls it's for myself not for creepy men 🤷♀️
So you should do that❤️
Exactly I just wanna be cute!😭
Exactly, I love dolls too 🙂🌸💖🎀✨
@sofie7546
Me too 🎀✨💖
Literally bro it's like we can't have ANYTHING without these men sexualizing us 😭
i thought coquette was just ballet-core but in one word
You’re not completely wrong though ❤
This is also what I thought. It was ballet-core.
It’s a flirty “girl” who uses her charm to manipulate and attract men
it kinda started that way and progressed into what it is now
They're 2 different things but they're linked. Coquette style actually existed before
I love bows, pink, and girly clothes. Why because I think its cute. I never think about what men like when i get dressed. So i dont care what men or anyone has to say about the way I dress.
I dont think it's my responsibility to manage or regulate other ppl views on clothing.
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING, as someone who is also a teenager. I mean if I wear "grown" clothes I'm asking for it from pdf files, but when I wear traditionally modest and feminine clothes I'm also asking for it from pdf files?
I think the issue is acting like a child, using bottles/pacifiers as an accessory, and overall actively trying to portray yourself as childish and seductive at the same time. I wear bows, dresses, and cute shoes and socks. I love dressing up, but I don't act like a child or use children's products as accessories (obviously I'm talking about bottles/diapers/pacifiers/ECT not just anything a child could use).
I think you should rewatch the video because never did I say you can’t and shouldn’t dress how YOU want. I am speaking of the sexualization of it.
You missed the point. She never said how to dress . She is stating the origins and the issues it can bring because some men are creeps
@@ToniBryanneTV I watched the video and I understood your concerns. The way it was presented was as if the style is inherently pro pedophilic and problematic. Which it is not. Even when you give space to the idea of it being as simple as a fashion choice the title alone overshadows that.
I think you do a great job of talking about such a layered topic with nuance. Like flowy dresses aren’t inherently child-like, bows aren’t, neither is girliness, but when you put them all together and in pastel it does feel child-like. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying that style, but going into the implications and the ripple effect is import too. I’m excited to think more about this!
I personally like this aesthetic and feel like women who criticize others for dressing in a hyper feminine style are undermining individual expression and happiness. Wearing flowy, pink dresses brings me joy and allows me to embrace a part of my identity that feels authentic and beautiful.
Thanks for saying this!!
Haha all she said was to be aware of the pervasive nature of men/ creeps when you dress like that. Why are you guys so defensive. If you want creeps on you thats on you but dont act surprised when you are dresses that way and you have creeps in your messages or in person them being weird
@@RedWoodtrees77Ew
It’s creeps only to blame, not girls. Most of them don’t care about men and dress for themselves and to cooperate with girly brands
@@RedWoodtrees77read what u just wrote again and tell me it’s not fucking weird
Y'all are being obtuse on purpose in the comments. She clearly expressed herself very well while providing context.
the very messy all over the place context.
@@bluud6Free yourself I beg
@@purple_princess97 ??? nmkay
Personally I think it's super weird for grown adults to act like children and for all the topics discussed at the video. However, I think we should let it be a style not tied to all these fetishes. Currently I love coquette as dressing in dresses and pink bows but understandably in some aspects it is weird.
I think it's only weird because people made bows and this style to be only for people of a certain age when everyone likes bows.
There’s nothing childish about this.
Agreed. For example, I like to wear my hair in twists and there are people who will tell me that twists are for kids and that I should straighten my hair as an adult. Curly hair, braids, bows, skirts, and pink do not make us children. Wearing cute clothes is not only for children.
There's nothing child-like about being feminine and wearing the color pink. As a black woman, people say that we are too masculine but if we like wearing bows and wearing pretty clothes all of a sudden we're weird and promoting pdfilia; It's bullshit.
Fr like they always be putting an age limit in everything. I think twists are cute and great for protecting your hair I hope you still wear it🙂
Coquette always reminds me of the Spanish word coquetta which usually means sexy/wearing sexy clothes i remember being in my teens and i wore something a bit too revealing and my mom said " no andes de coquetta" meaning don't be out here looking over sexual. I may be completely wrong but its such a similar word and i always say it as a compliment to my girlfriends when they are looking extra hot like "dam girl mira te all coquetta 💕aka " oooo girl look at you looking sexy/fine asf"
That is the correct origin of the word
Yup and in French coquette means flirtatious young women, so I’m assuming it’s the same in other Romance languages like Italian and Portuguese
Yup, she mentions this definition around 3:00 in.
You guys have to understand that certain men are gonna sexualize everything, it doesn’t matter what aesthetic it is. That’s why we have to ignore them. I’ve read a lot of these comments and I’ve noticed a lot of women (lowkey) have a problem with other women following the coquette aesthetic just because of how men view it. Especially if it’s a feminine aesthetic. Just because a woman is wearing pink, bows and dresses doesn’t mean she’s trying to please a man. Men literally do this with every clothing aesthetic, most things we wear ALWAYS fit into the male gaze. So that means we shouldn’t judge or assume women are only wearing these clothing for men when this is problem for every aesthetic. It just makes me upset that BOTH men and women have a problem with what we wear.
She never said that if women are dressing like this that its for me - she LITERALLY is saying to just be aware of the type of attention it can bring
@@RedWoodtrees77 I don’t think you understood the people I was referring to in my comment. I’m mainly talking to the many women in this comment section and in society who have a problem with what women wear because of how men feel. Oh and also- ANYTHING women wear can bring attention. Her title (she changed it now) was very misleading and part of the reason why people were upset.
Exactly I’ve heard plenty of masc and masculine woman get hit on by men,goth e-girls you name it they sexualize EVERYTHING woman do or wear and that’s the reality tbh I don’t even see little girls dressing in the coquette style they wear there favorite cartoon characters or something and tutus lol
@@melanintingz6555 IN THIS VIDEO SHE IS TALKING ABOUT THE WOMEN WHO SEXUALISE THE AESTHETIC.
@@sakuraesther6309 If you had read my previous comment, which you didn’t, you would see I wasn’t exactly referring to the maker of this video. You are very loud and wrong hun, capitals do not get your point more.
Girl the girlies in the bows are maaaaaad at you 👀 lol
Personally I love to dress extra girly and I think the aesthetic is super cute But I also understand what you're saying. And you didn't even say anything controversial. Just give it a few months for the hype to blow over then everyone will have reflection think pieces about this exact topic.
Ex: Lolita 2014 vs 2021
As a teenage girl, I actually loved the coquette aesthetic/style and even though I agree with some of the points in this video I feel like it's very critical towards women for dressing how they want and not the p0rn addicted men that see bows and think children. For me, it's nice taking a break from the oversexualisation with teenage girl clothes. If you go into the clothing section for teenagers it's all crop, crop tops, tight mini skirts, cut outs and body suits. I feel like not only can it be a bit gross as that means more men that are into teenagers feel like they have an excuse of looking at them that way but can also lead to body dysmorphia as at our ages our body weight and shape can be very fluid (some days I look verrry skinny and other days I'm more chubby, or "skinny fat") so the mesh, polyester material does NOT help with that. Compared with the lace cardigans, bows, and interesting patterns that coquette brings, as someone who was OBSESSED with shojo manga/anime growing up, and still am, can't help but fall in love with it. Now I'm not saying that there is no drawbacks; I remember being on Pinterest where people would post things called whispers that would just be a sentence or a few of what they were thinking about at the time and many subscribed to the lolita, nymphet, coquette kind of fashion were very toxic, angry, misogynistic white skinny teenage girls with raging eds that made fun of minority groups. Nowadays they aren't seen as much because literally nobody liked them, truthly I don't think they even liked themselves. However the style on it's own, I cannot deny is pretty and I'm tired of girls and women having to have a nagging man's voice on what to wear because whatever you're wearing you're asking for it. Women historically have wore bows and lace and pink and could be 30-years-old and I think that's where you've lost me. Nothing is wrong wearing these things, acting a way to stimuli p£d0ph!l!c people on the other had is.
i agree that people should be more critical to men for finding it sexy than the teens and young women just wearing bows. i like to wear bows and lace but lace now is so “sensual” that it’s annoying to wear it cause i know people think it’s for attention. i agree with you. you’re allowed to wear ribbons and bows no matter the age. like it’s not inherently sexual, it’s the men who find it sexy that make it sexual.
This is how I feel as a teenage girl. I want to wear feminine things and act my age, I shouldn't be half naked because I'm literally a child.
SHE IS CRITICISING WOMEN WHO WEAR THIS ONLY FOR SEXUALISATION AMD SELLING SEX WORK.
@@whiteroses4selHow you got from this video that you need to dress half naked is beyond me .Have you even listened ??????
This video is not bashing women and girls who like feminine things, it’s addressing how these things are used to infantilize and sexualize women and girls who wear them. The video addresses how this is done to women in media (for example, Cat Valentine’s character was intentionally developed to subject the actress to the directors fetishes). And touches on how women can subject themselves and each other to it, as well. Many (obviously not all) women use symbols from the coquette aesthetic to intentionally signify naive sexuality often for attention (and at times financial gain) or partners. You are young so you may not have been exposed to this yet, but it is absolutely dangerous when adult women intentionally present themselves in childlike ways for sexual gratification. It teaches on lookers to associate coquette symbols with sexuality no matter how old the female body they are on is. This has nothing to do with women who just like pink skirts and bows, and everything to do with people who sully them intentionally. They put girls like you in danger for associating with things that are meant to be innocent. I know it’s obvious and right to blame men for being or becoming attracted to these things, but there are adult women who intentionally contribute to that and it’s important they be addressed, as well.
The sexualization of hyperfemininity makes me so sad. I was a big tomboy growing up and it wasn’t until I was 18 or 19 that I started wearing bows in my hair and cute skirts. I went from wall flower to “s*xy baby” so fast and it felt so gross. I hope the fashion trend stays but the sexualization dies down because girls being girls being women being ladies is some top tier sh*t
Ive been into this coquette style lately. I do like it, it’s cute and pretty, but I switch my style up from this, to athletic/sporty, or masculine with oversized clothing. But this is honestly very interesting and informative!
Some of your points are valid but I think it depends on the midset of the person. Of course if you view adults wearing cutesy clothing as weird then it will come off as such when they do but, at the end of the day pink is just a color and bows are just hair/clothing accessories. I feel like this mindset comes from a place of people thinking that "if you're over 30 you shouldn't have hobbies and you should dress boring" adults are allowed to dress how they want as long as they feel comfortable in it.
Take lolita fashion as an example, lolita has nothing to do with the book in fact is has a history of being very modest with dresses being at knee length and having blouses under dresses. But, men have taken that and twisted it by being like "you're trying to attract p3d0's by dressing like that!" when it's just a fun (although very expensive) hobby bringing it back to my previous point of adults not being able to have hobbies in today's society.
If you read this feel free to tell me if you agree or disagree! I'm happy to explain my point further.
I agree on the Lolita fashion. I have a family members that automatically thinks of the book when it has nothing to do with the book. Its an alternative fashion that takes rococo, Edwardian fashion and made it super pastel, goth, or historical. Its definitely breaking its way through in the western world, and taken out of content be seen as catering when its not, its a fashion hobby and extremely modest too. I love it, but of course some people will look at it in a negative sexual way when its not 😢
I absolutely agree. I had to grow up fast and wasn't given the freedom to explore my identity and self expression, so as an adult, I find it really healing to be able to enjoy some of the things that may be connected to my childhood or to a childhood I didn't get to have. I also had to deal with a lot of cult minded judgment, and it's taken a while, but I find it's not healthy to center the way you are around the fear of what other people will think of you. People don't know your story or why you dress or act the way you do, but if they approach with curiosity rather than judgment, maybe they'll find out 😊
My millennial self reading through the comments completely bewildered at everyone obsessed with “aesthetics” of any name.
A lot of the people seem very young, the thoughts don’t seem to be fleshed out
This happens with any internet style though, look at the scene kids for example.
It's been like this since the 90's
It's even worse that they think that women who SEXUALISE this can't be called out because they enjoy it .
Such brats
@@salsadip7453Can't even comprehend shit
I feel a lot of the comments are slightly confused about this. Bows and frills are not inherently coquette. Coquette itself means a flirt and a woman who knows how to manipulate men. Coquette is meant to cater to the male gaze. It's the whole point. Borrowing fashion aesthetics inspired by school girl apperal and nabokov's description of what Dolores wore (lolita) is inherently disturbing. There is however a much longer history of women dumbing themselves down and infantalizing themselves for male attention. Just see some of Marylin Monroes roles. Yes men finding this attractive is vile and should be addressed, but ideas like this should also not be popularized. Personally I think this girlish feminine look should be renamed.
it just needs to be renamed, period. there wouldn’t be a need to compare it to the male gaze if the name itself didn’t come from such origins. along with the history of child sexualization. but it’s obvious that many woman have taken as a style to feel comfortable in, so thats a step.
I find it interesting that dressing like a bimbo Instagram baddie is acceptable, but dressing more feminine and girly is rooted in misogyny? That’s actually really crazy.
I think it highlights how much people really don’t like young girls and hyper-sexualize what should be innocence. Feels like people are projecting their insecurities on the people who participate in this aesthetic.
🙌🏽 thank you, this is the point I was looking for.
It's also new though. People were against the baddie look in the beginning too and then eventually accepted it. I think people will come around when the baddie look faded out a little more. I do agree with what you wrote about projecting and oversexualizing innocent things
This comment in itself shows you don’t typically watch my content so I’m gonna let you have this one lol
I love stereotypical hyperfeminine stuff such as pastel colours, lace, frills and cute stuff in general and I used to be a part of the lolita (fashion) community. I’ve always seen this as a nice complement to my other side, which is not particularly “cute” and although it is kind of unexpected for some people, it makes total sense to me. It’s my way to express my femininity, which I consider more of an spectrum than a fixed definition. For me, coquette is just that, a stereotypically hyperfeminine aesthetic. If somebody thinks it infantilises, fetichises or empowers women, that’s an option, but at least for me it’s a way to express another side of myself.
perfectly worded, the only thing they say that’s supposedly wrong is the sexualization of the theme, as if people control what weirdos think of it! 😂
🤍
So well said, thank you for putting my thoughts into words 🙌🏽
Lolita fashion's intentionally female-centric and doesn't cater to the male gaze, but to a feminine ideal, you'll notice it more when you colpare coquette and Lolita fashion blogs on tumblr-Lolita HATE to be sexualized and dress rather modestly, little skin showing, traditionally not even showing knees, socks/stockings, you'll rarely see exposed shoulders... coquette, you'll see a ton of thigh pics, lingerie, sexualized poses with teddies or Mary Janes... coquette is very nymphet. A lot of Lolita blogs will straight up ask DD/lg, kinksters, and coquettes not to interact because they don't want to be sexualized...
Croquettes name should be changed, cuz this ain’t for the men. I feel like it’s a step up (if done right/with no ill intent) from all the crop tops and clothes showing everything for the world to see.. I feel like it’s a reminder to women and girls, it’s okay to be feminine and it’s okay to wear pink frilly dresses with pretty bows. Nowadays kids can’t even be kids, let alone girls can’t even be girls without sexualization at every turn. If this is how you guys feel about women wearing stuff like this, then I wonder what you guys think when 5 yr old girls wear it.
a personal view on this video is that it’s whole purpose was merely to bring out the negatives around it so people can think down upon the style and the woman who have love for it, it’s all so judgey…😕
@@bluud6 Agreed
So coquette has the same issues as j-fashion street fashion known as Lolita fashion. Where a bunch of ladies (usually) dress in super feminine attire and male gaze makes it creepy? I enjoy ribbons 🎀 and puff. I enjoy dressing in them with other ppl. Drinking tea and eating sweets like wth.
I'm going to a tea party tomorrow ❤
@Play4keeks
Have fun 😊
frolicking in the fields with my pink lace
dress on 🤍
@@chenillesagoe6348 I was very fun and empowering. I can't wait until the next one
Japanese Lolita is pretty different than Coquette and no where near as male gazey. If anything it's often seen as a male repellent lol
i thought we left this discourse back a year or 2 ago when ppl were claiming it's encouraging "p3doph1llia" & infantilization for creepy men when in reality 98% of people who participate in this style simply enjoy it...for themselves. y'all don't look at young women in japan wearing lolita dresses as "appealing to creepy men" even though it's literally a style inspired but cutesy, child-like fashion. idk why coquette is under fire especially when the concept of dressing hyper feminine has always been a thing even without the term "cOquEttE AeSTheTic" attached to it.
In asia they are hella weird / pedos dude they make all the girls act like kids and be kids like - that weiiiird and if you dont think so its probably because your a weirdo too
some people just something to talk about, negatively.
Maybe you could redo the video and just talk about one topic? This video is really all over the place. Sexualizing coquette, trad wives, ped0philia, anime.. It's really too much. I think talking about the new "bow" trend and "im just a girl" could have been more interesting and easy to follow. I see from the comments that most viewers were confused about your point in this video.
My thoughts exactlyyy.
Yea she should have included where Coquette originally came from, which was Tumblr. And how these ped0 idolization, racism, and eds came from Coquette
it was a very horribly correlated video, hope she sees this and improves…quickly
😂 lol I didn’t know it was that serious. She isn’t reporting for channel 10 News. she was just making a video expressing the thoughts she had in her head. She isn’t writing a scholarly article 😂
@@PFaith99 a little criticism won’t hurt nobody.
Nara’s content is so comical to me bcuz true, real homemakers do NOT cook in full on feathery Chanel or make their kids wait hours for homemade bread. It’s perfect for content tho but for people to think this is what a stay at home mom is-FOH!!!!!!!!! It’s all an act for likes, views & money!!!
I was raised & homeschooled by my stay-at-home mom, and I would define her more as a stubborn tomboy who ruled the house with an iron fist and a golden heart than a quiet lady who spent all her days in the kitchen. But both are fine I guess. ❤
Your jealous hush
I do dress like that but I wear a apron 😂 also I'm not posting content for redpill men to get off on
I like the coquette aesthetic but my overall problem is with the kid's items some people add such as the bottles and pacifiers or wearing a bloomer and pose in a way to potray a child but in a sexual way it disgust me tbh
exactly.
I've always dressed this way since I was a kid. I don't want to change the way I dress. I was overly criticized all the time because I prefer the academia look which also has plaid skirts and looks "school girly." But coquette really makes me just think it's hyper feminine. And hyper femininity is considered "immature" -
I NEVER EVER thought of it as infantilizing myself to dress this way. It's because I like it and I never "grew" out of it... it just is a part of my identity. i grew up loving ballet and hyper feminine things while being a very masculine person.
It all just sounds like MEN don't know how to just let aesthetics be aesthetics. If I like to dress kawaiii and colorful and frilly that is FOR ME not FOR THEM... we need to teach men to stop sexualizing everything women do... including our clothes.
But that's the problem, men are always going to think that everything we do is for them. 🙄
WHO CARES ABOUT YOU AND HOW YOU DRESS????
WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE WOMEN WHO SEXUALISE IT NOT YOU
BEAT IT
@@Lex_1416 So honestly I’m just gonna do what I want.
@@Lex_1416sooo that’s why we ignore them and do what we’d like with ourselves.
@@miimamwez I do too.
I think women should be able to wear whatever they want without blaming them for men's weird behavior yk. Not because a certain thing is considered "childish" doesn't mean it's gonna be forever. No matter what we wear or what we do, men are gonna sexualize it. Unless it's literally the reason why this trend exist in the first place.
this trend doesn’t exist because of sexualization, it exists because girls have found themselves loving the same hyperfeminine style they were born into (likely).
🤍
I feel like this video is a tad off. the "dumb and sexy" trope is not the same as coquette. Wearing cute or pink clothing and bows is not even coquette either. You're talking about infantilizing and misogyny. My name isn't childish or a fetish. I really think this video is a bit all over the place and seems to be judging women for how men are being weird. Especially when you brought up anime like its our fault that men have created this universe 😭 i just don't understand what youre trying to do here
Thanks for watching and sharing your thoughts!
@@ToniBryanneTVyikes ma'am
@@ToniBryanneTVi thought the video hit every point it needed to and showed your researching skills
I feel like this video should've been specifically about the male gaze rather than the coquette aesthetic, given that a lot of the examples of the perception of trad wives and the presence of infantalization when it comes to women is mainly due to the male gaze rather than women and girls choosing to wear bows or the color pink.
This comment ^^. A lot of the people in the comment section that are fans of hers are making it out like she perfectly articulated this topic, but in actuality she’s talking about a whole different topic!
babe wake up new toni bryanne just dropped
Never seen 5yos dressing like a coquette😒. Girly don't mean childish
Light feminine ≠childish.
Thank you 😊 I love 💖 the Kawaii aesthetic
@@chenillesagoe6348 I love too😍
Exactly ❤
You probably didn't grow up around those Christian areas. The dresses with the tule and the bows and bonbons and cute white socks were commonly worn. Even those shoes similar to Mary Jane's. That's why I love those shoes they were always cute.
It's bad because some women wear these with weird intentions. But as an adult it's weird to want to dress like your little cousins. Not to mention this aesthetic has always been associated with fetishes and grooming, unfortunately. However, for many of you claiming why is it wrong for you to dress like this, it's because it isn't. But, you people never even tried to find the problem or fixed it. And countless of you are acting as if this aesthetic never had any negative air about it.
1. Kpop idols are cute until you realize these people are adults acting and talking like children intentionally.
2. Nothing is wrong with dressing in the soft aesthetic unless you have the wrong intentions.
3. I'm not gonna pretend as if for years dressing like a school girl is sexualized, even if it's cute.
4. Before tiktok the whole coquette trend wasn't even as popular so there goes half of this "it's what I felt like wearing" cause right now half of the goths and emos we had in 2020 are not here us after the trends changed.
5. Speaking of tiktok the whole coquette thing blew up with Lolita and Lana del ray glamorization. Very creepy.
6. Anime, I love anime however, some animes are just a no becuase of the female character designs and behaviors that the creator gives them
7. Ariana Grande, as a teen it's weird that we looked up to this childish WOMAN. As someone in my late teens, that was weird, very weird that she acted the way she did and only recently started acting like an actual adult.
8. Omg the daddy and step daughter corn. Did we forget that existed as well.
Overall nothing is wrong with the aesthetic however, it has always been sexualized but nobody tried to desxualize it. Most people missed the point of this video and it's very real especially if you have childlike features as you grow older. Someone even tried pressuring me to be more "cute" 😂
Lolitta is wrong; not coquette. And a child should never be described as coquette or dressed as such, it never was a kid's aesthetic to begin with. Moreover, some us naturally look cute and look best in hyper feminine clothes, we can't all dress the same because some of you have questionable ways of thinking about women and children. In other words you are the problem, not those women cause they didn't do anything wrong.
Even the lolitta style has basically nothing to do with the idea of the book Lolita. It is more about dressing like a doll
Speak louder!! Many of the girls she shows are flattering more with feminine things!! Jennie kim,Ariana Grande,etc.me,as an e.g I don't look good with traditionaly serious clothes, sexy or overly dark feminine clothes, so,thats means, there is a problem dressing like that? One of the reasons why they became soo popular is bcs of the style of clothing.
@@Yawn777 there are two forms of lolita, Japanese lolita and tumblr lolita
Exactly from where I live little girls and children be wearing there favorite cartoon characters and tutus lol
Literally what I was thinking. Lolita is different from Coquette but it appears this video is blurring the line between the two
I love the coquette aesthetic😭 it's so nostalgic to me. It reminds me of my grandmother, girlhood and simpler times. It's so cute to me
I think there are certain lines that when crossed, definitely play into the male gaze and over se.ulisation, but just by wearing bows and frilly stuff that’s not the case imo
Also the costume shown was a skimpyfied version of a traditional German/austrian dress (also not traditional to show a lot of cleavage or leg in a dirndl, that’s a more modern phenomenon) - the dress itself isn’t problematic, that particular version of it is
So if the clothes are showing a lot of skin or it looks just straight out of a fetish magazine yes, that’s definitely problematic (imo) but one can dress with elements of coquette without being full blown coquette
Like wearing a Trenchcoat doesn’t make it old money aesthetic or whatever this could fall into
as an OG coquette girl i'm so mad at people for making the coquette subculture into sexual mess.
If you find that to be childish I think that’s a you issue honestly. There’s nothing wrong with dressing feminine and it doesn’t automatically mean they’re doing it for the male gaze. And the women who dress that way, are not responsible for the men.
Literally!!!
rt, my thoughts are like “why do things like this have to be ruined because of the attention it may get from males or what they think about it?” if we’re gonna be fr it just like them having control over what we wear. I didnt view it as childish before watching the video . I don’t completely view it as childish even now. I just feel like it is something cute that is ruined by people who think sexually all the time. I think of it as adorable but not even in a childlike way, just a feminine soft pink everywhere way.
Did I say there was anything wrong with dressing feminine? Please give a time stamp where those words came out my mouth. I said how it can POTENTIALLY be seen as such. I never said end all be all. I literally dress very feminine and have always been a “girly girl”. I’m speaking about the trend and romanticizing of coquette in an inappropriate manner.
@@ToniBryanneTV I think your title is misleading then😅 maybe something along the lines of ‘the modern day sexualization of the croquet aesthetic’ would be more fitting. The title is most likely shaping how people are perceiving the information you’re presenting.
@@schokococoa575this is exactly it lol
I understand where you are coming from but in reality, i dont see children dressing in coquette style at all. I only see grown woman wear this style, and myself wear this style, and as history states, its a rebellious thing that men couldn’t get a hold of. Alot of the items that are for sale in the coquette style, i don’t see kids wearing, even when i was a kid in the early 2000’s and 2010s. Bows are a hairpiece, and i wouldn’t say something sexual. I understand what you are saying and it’s definitely problematic, on a sense regarding pedos. They are going to find children sexual regardless of what they wear simply because they are children. I dont think its necessarily the fashion but society as a whole deeming anything hyperfeminine to be demonized. Alot of frills and bows were very popular among grown woman in the 18th century and previous. I do think its a problem when bows, frills, pink and anything hyperfeminine is considered sexual or catering to pedos. Since the book lolita, society got it twisted, and it seems if its not baddie, sophisticated or modest it will be a problem and hence a grown woman dressing like a “child”. Alot of regular men i know, even my own husband hate this fashion because its too girly, hyperfeminine, and cute. I do agree on alot of points made, but when it comes to coquette and the fashion, i had to agree to disagree 😭
This right here, like girl I don't remember anyone or myself dressing that way as a child. Most parents would never allow that.
Literally, there are adult women that infantilize themselves in order for example of selling online content. But they do not use coquette style, they literally use children clothes (like literally 🤢) and acessories. Coquette is not a child style or pedobait, they are two different things.
Finally someone said it!! Never seen a child dressed like a coquette 😒🙄.
most women don’t dress coquette to act or seem childish. it’s cute, that’s all.
Exactly most children dress in there favorite cartoon characters and tutus
Harajuku Lolita was a massive influence on the fashion aesthetic that is missing from this video.
Lol I think coquette is watered down Lolita tbh
I'm not an avid watcher of this channel, but everytime I'm here it's just so refreshing- hearing from someone with a sane moral compass, intelligence, and grace. I know you never really know people online, but honestly she seems like someone I'd totally chill with IRL. Lol
I think you mixed up too many things in one- The pipeline from bows in hair do ped0 corn is wild
It’s the sexualizing of “frilly, dainty, pink” aesthetic that links the two. I thought I made that pretty clear.
@@ToniBryanneTVyou did but they just don’t wanna accept reality because it makes them feel guilty
Y’all not getting the ACTUAL POINT . she never said it was ugly or anything the concept behind it is what make it weird .
I think it's truly tragic how most women just like the aesthetic of pink/bows/flowers and it's seen as problematic. However I agree that there are some cases where women will dress in very child-like ways, which then only leads to sexualization of children and it only makes girls lives harder. Imagine being a 12yo girl, not being able to wear a pink dress with bows because now it's seen as 'sexy'. Maybe there's a fine line between child-like and coquette?
That is my issue with this style. A few women only dress like this because they have a daddy/dom kink. Yes, we can always blame men but let’s also hold grown women who sexualize this style accountable.
yes.
pink, dainty, frilly etc ≠ childish
i love your videos, but i feel as though there were a lot of misconceptions in this one. there’s a difference between lolita, coquette, dollette and all these other aesthetics and it feels very weird to blur these lines.
how men perceive us is not our problem,, never will be
That line sounded so funny “she likes to wear frilly dresses and run in fields.”
I never realized how much perversion this style could have.
I like bows for hair accessories sometimes but I wouldn’t want it to be seen as a perversion style ever.
Literally nothing wrong with dressing feminine and cute with lace and bows as an adult 🙄
She never said it was - you missed the point. She is clearly stating the origin and the issue that lies beneath and something to be aware of
If you want to dress like a kid or ho or modest its up to you but you should be aware how the world perceives things specifically perverts
@@RedWoodtrees77 I heard her point and I think she was conflating two different things and then criticizing women for how men see their fashion choices. I watched the entire video and that was my impression. The only thing I agree with is actually wearing stuff like bottles and pacifiers that are specifically made for babies and then acting like a child is an issue but most people who dress cute aren’t doing that and they get lumped into this, just like she did in her video
YIU CLEARLY DONT HAVE EARS
@@AaarandomAND YOU ARE INFANTALISING WOMEN ACTING LIKE ALL WOMEN ARE INNOCENT AND THAT THERE ARE ZERO WHO SEXUALISE THIS AESTHETIC
First off I want to say it wasn’t the croquette aesthetic that was a thing in the 2010s it was the nymphet aesthetic and it was a lot different from the croquette aesthetic. It involved a lot of red and shapes like hearts and cherries and lana del rays image/aesthetic aligned more with the nymphet and vintage Americana aesthetic and the only reason why the croquette aesthetic has become exualized is because a lot of the nymphet girls hijacked the aesthetic in the late 2010s. And that’s why a lot of people associate the croquette aesthetic with the exualization of children and think that Lana is the inventor of it
I’ll have to disagree with you for the first time Toni. Coquette style and "soft girl" just go together, we already fought for feminism and wearing pants but now we just wanna be women and girls again.
I don't understand why pink+bows=childish☹
Maybe because it's mostly seen on kids while we grown up we dressed up more in ,,adult way" to be taken seriously
Yeah probably why
This was a stretch. The coquette style doesn’t go hand in hand with trad wife bs. Plus enjoying frilly, feminine things is perfectly normal. Just because men are digesting doesn’t mean the women who like it should feel bad for it. Society as a whole already likes to shit on the things women enjoy.
Who said you have to feel bad 😂😂😂 all she said was be aware of the creeps. Yall are so defensive almost borderline defending creeps. We get yall want to free the nipple, dress like hoes, dress like kids, we get that guys cant have an understanding to history. For everything yall get defensive. How about yall shut up and listen more
A woman can wear hyper feminine styles, but her motives are far from attracting male gaze or being submissive to men ;) In 21 century we have the freedom to put our own meanings in the way we dress. I love girly and hyper feminine styles, for me it’s about healing my inner child and escaping the burden of the life for a while 🤍
Respectfully I think this video isn’t as well researched as the rest, I think it may be because you aren’t familiar in aesthetics but some that u were showing don’t even correlate with coquette.
I also think she came in with a basis towards Coquette, and it shows in her attitude. She should've came in with a fresh open mind.
I’m so couqette honestly but SEXULIZING IT?! can we just keep it an aesthetic pls
y'all have to problematize everything
Agreed,make everything soo problematic🙄
Rightt because what😂
running out of things to talk about 🏃♀️➡️
no yall just can’t hear an opinion that isn’t yours without taking it as problem😭 yall want to be offended so bad
@@crybbyjaimie I’m not offended 😭 cry bby 😳
i’m so glad u brought up k-pop idols because when i saw this video i was like “this sounds a lot like k-pop shit” so K-POP IS DEFINITELY PUSHING THE SEXUALIZATION OF GIRLY OR FUN TYPE OF STUFFFF. i’ve recently seen a group called “Cignature” get into some sexualization and jeyun or jooyun? i forgot her name but her company made her do an interview w a 🌽⭐️…and she said “you should get into the industry, you have the body for it, seriously. i’ll help you.” and her company gave her THE TINIEST TOP that shows her chest? like EUGH? (also the 🌽⭐️ so happens to be japanese tew..) and the skirt Cardi was wearing looks like one Yves (ex loona member) was wearing. so yes you are completely correct on the kpop aspect of things.
Oh yes I thought the same ! Even Illit and stuff and yes, Cignature is Soo infantalise rn
@@Yoongi10269 omg i almost forgot about illit…i swear i feel like hybe tries to make every single gg so child like it pisses me off a LOT
@@kyosou.1 I swear to God they dressed literal 20 years old like 5 years old with baby dresses. This is fuckin SICK and I don't mean it in a good way
@@Yoongi10269 RIGHT? the debut song was good but all of the child-like clothing honestly rubbed me the wrong way, if they didn’t make illit so child-like i would’ve probably stanned.
as a coquette girl i do totally agree with most of what you said in the video but i would like to point out that not all of us do it for the wrong reasons, we simply just like the style/ aesthetic and think it’s cute 🥺♡
I suggest to remove the girl on the right beside the blonde girl on your thumbnail. She's a minor and I don't think it's appropriate to put her there considering the title of the video.
Whatever path we choose, we'll be trapped. It's strange how people jump to vilify women who want to be homemakers because all I know is women in the past fought to have choice and they're making a choice. Why is it wrong for a woman to not want to work outside home? Why is it wrong for a woman to choose a husband and a family over a boss and a career? Yes, women should have backup plans and the ability to survive without a man but that doesn't mean a family oriented woman can't have these qualities and thrive
no matter how you turn the story, men will always be somewhere in it and it’s irritating and annoying. 🙄
@@bluud6 just like we'll be in their story.
Forgive me if I didn't get your comment right
*Marilyn Monroe's voice is a great example.* That wasn't her real speaking voice and she used it to make herself more approachable and less intimidating. For the men, she created the 50/50 hot bombshell and coquettish simpleton. She knew how to play the game and that's why she founded her own production company during a time when women didn't do it. Genius. 💃👄
No matter what ppl do, it's always going to be a negative side to it. That on itself can't be ignored by some ppl. I think the video is informative and well put out, but overall ppl are gonna dress the way they like despite the negative connotations.
And shes not telling anyone how to dress she simply letting ppl know whats and to be aware of creeps.
I personally really love it, my dad demonized femininity, pink and frills and bows were looked down on, liking boy bands and things like that were criticized and mocked. Now that I'm older I get to enjoy the things I wasn't allowed to before and it's really nice.
Huh. I thought coquet just ment dressing seductively but in a "good girl" way. Like showing leg but not anything above the knee and so on.
I thought croquet was preppy style but only in pink 😅
@@monceeherrera-rizo2371agree.
I like the aesthetic but I’m Christian but I don’t want it to be in a disgusting way
I always think what if husband die 😅 and you have no degree and no work experience?? Like what you gonna do? Who will provide you?
I hear this 😫
I’ve been the coquette aesthetic since I started earning my own money and could buy my own stuff … I’ve always worn bows in my hair because when I was a little girl I had a foster mother that hated me and always kept my hair boy-short… I envied my pretty and girly classmates. When I finally got away from my mean foster mother, I started to dress cute and girly with the bows and accessories I envied as a little kid. I remember, when I was 18, my boss (a man🙄) told me after a meeting, that I was every man’s fantasy. I didn’t understand him until he said something to the effect of, “you know, your pigtails, bows and little skirt.” I was revolted and embarrassed … anyway, I no longer dress too coquettish… but still love bows and girly glitter things🫶🏻
Oh my God....your boss?!?! 🤢
The coqquette aesthetic was sexualised long ago when it was known as Lolita aesthetic and even before it was called lolita .This is honestly not new .
I love this 😂 it’s ok to each their own! It’s always been so pretty to me
ngl when i see this style i never thought of little girls but i understand why someone would think so. but at the same time, i work with little kids and none of the little girls dress like this, they wear t-shirts and shorts/pants.
The little girl dont dress up like that anymore because moms dont even get their kids ready anymore. They dont dress kids as kids. It is a little weird for a grown women to want to look like a kid. But there is a fine line between
the only connection I see between women and girl’s clothing is the same colors and material. I don’t think that’s enough to say that it’s mimicking children’s wear. They infantilize femininity.
EXACTLY most little children including my siblings wear there favorite cartoon characters or something they don’t dress in that style
@@RedWoodtrees77? I don’t think that’s the reason but it can very through different cultures. Honestly I mostly see children and even holder picks there wearing there favorite cartoon characters and a tutu or something
Nah it's a difference of culture becuase kids do dress like this. Or atleast a few years ago parents put these clothes on especially Christians.
The whole cartoon thing only became popular for children recently since people started to become less religious.
People changed the definition of the word “pick me” alot but this should be the new one. Having a problem with literally ANYTHING a woman does. How can an adult be this disturbed with harmless things? If a woman wants to dress feminine/HYPERFEMININE (the real term before the coquette got revamped) why can’t she? Do girls stop liking pink/flowers/bows after a certain age? You are so obsessed with the idea of woman being a one way street and if they aren’t like you they’re doing something wrong. Anyway, real ones know the “coquette aesthetic” came from inspiration 50s american women, southern/western town people, Priscilla, lana del rey etc. it was then changed to be “hyperfeminine” because chronically online people run with words. Anyway women you do not have to act like Latto mwah. Oh and people are attracted to real children anyway so blaming women who dress any type of way for being the reason is insane
THANK YOU
yeah..
It’s ironic because I feel like teenage girls are dressing like adults & trying to grow up fast whereas older gen z is trying to heal their inner child 😂 I have been trying to embrace my femininity in self expression through clothes and it’s been healing my inner child, reclaiming my girlhood & making me so happy! I grew up as a tom boy and hating pink and borderline being a pick me bc of internalized misogyny due to men around me growing up. I was very much in my masc and I presented that way through fashion a lot of the time, but I found the love of my life and he supports me no matter what. He allowed me to find balance in my masc and femme energies. We both don’t care for strict gender roles and he has never cared about what I decide to do for myself or how I want to express myself. I think this aesthetic is just trendy and people are hopping on it and people always will do that. I think desiring homemaking for people dressing like this is a stretch or if it’s not it’s a far fetched dream (in this economy?!). if you want me to be honest EVERYONE wishes they could just stay home and be present and live life and take care of themselves and their family- a simple life. But capitalism doesn’t allow for that especially if you’re poor. I’m the breadwinner in my relationship and I’ve been embracing parts of this aesthetic… everyone’s situation is nuanced 🤷🏽♀️. This was a good video I haven’t seen much commentary on this topic and I learned a lot!
I can't believe being girly and dressing feminine is now being deemed as, "problematic."
all because of the invisible weirdos nobody can control the mindset of 🙄…
It shocks me that people’s level of discernment on the internet it’s very low. A lot of y’all don’t even get what Toni is saying 🤦♀️
Maybe try rewatching the video without judging and ACTUALLY listen to what she’s saying!
At this point, nothing is safe from Sexualization.
These ppl in the comments are weird- they are borderline defending weirdo by trying to act like they dresses “ empowered “ all she bas stated is to be aware of the creepiness history
You sound jealous and you’re literally one of the people I was talking about in my comment. Again- us liking coquette is not us defending predators. It has nothing to do with men. In your other comments, you keep acting like the sexualization is our fault. Your comments in this comment section is very weird.
Exactly this lol
Cant we wear what we want beacause of men these years? me dressing like this doesn't mean i wanna look like a "good girl" or child i like it beacause its feminine nothing else
I love hair bows and I’m glad it’s a trend now bc it’s easy to find good ones now 🤣🤣🤣 I do however see how taking the coquette style to the extreme for smeggsual reasons is very weird!!
I only like the clothes I loved it before it was a “trend”
fantastic video. as someone who dabbles in the coquette style, this video is so important and everyone needs to see it!
There's a lot of themes to unpack in this video beside the coquette aesthetic that works at odds and in tandem with each other that I wanted to list them for thought and try to show how I understood your video:
Sexual vulnerability, aesthetic culture, self/outside infantilization of women in and outside media, trauma signaling vs. seduction, male gaze hypersexuality and pornography, performative femininity, traditionalism, and the crossing with modern feminism, as well as the fear of male dependency in marriage, lack of social and financial safety nets, the cautions of religious cults, and the perceived expendability of the wife in modern marriage.
All of these are represented and made relevant in the vulnerability of women as well as modern woman's want for a model (usually outside of their own personal family/parents) of what it means to be a woman, how to attract (or if you should) a life partner, and the search for answers in aesthetics and ideologies to model the self after in pursuit of value.
From a Christian perspective the main solution is to search for key truths to live by rather than an aesthetic or an -ism to model yourself after, and these questions to get there are knowing why you have value, why lust is harmful to men AND women, why marriage is valuable, why having a healthy social circle matters, what your purpose is, how to heal from trauma, and how to find/ what traits a partner who will commit and truly love you unconditionally.
Of course my answer to those questions is the pursuit of Jesus Christ, but if you don't accept that as an answer obviously and seriously ask yourself those previous questions to start searching for truth. Also Mormonism is a cult, that woman's story was heartbreaking to hear her powerlessness and that isn't how God wants us to treat each other.
Unfortunately both the Lolita and Coquette aesthetic are often viewed from the perspective of women dressing for attention from older men. Why were women dressing younger to get older men to notice them? I like the style because it’s cute, not because I want a creepy, pedophelic man to notice me and get interested.
Girlyyy change the title, it doesn’t match what your meaning to say about this video
Just changed it lol
When i was younger i went the alternative route specifically for the male gaze. Now im 31 and i like this style and more girly femme looks. I think as a black woman i never got to explore this side it wasn't super encouraged. I still feel like i dont get to be femme or shouldnt its interesting. I also study sw and sex appeal and know that men will sexualize anything its pretty scary.
But growing up i used to dumb myself down for men because thats what they liked now i realize so many men are predators and our socialization in general is to infantilize us. I think thats why many can feel lost without that appeal or as they get older. Our societies also wants to stay young forever.
I get creeped out by this style sometimes tho because here in Mexico the kids are legit wearing these schoolgirl outfits i fear for them
Something I was told a long time ago by an older woman that I will never forget is, "It's easy to be happily married and sleep beside a man every night when you FEEL in love with him. The real test is when you're unhappily married, arguing everyday, struggling to get by, and that FEELING of being in love with the man you married is replaced by only KNOWING you love him. Many marriages don't last anymore because loyalty and commitment are being thought of as optional." And this will always stick with me.
I at first understood what Toni's intention was but it kind of got lost as the video went on. (Not that it wasn't a great video! But the main message wasn't completely clear the whole way through.) I do appreciate how you connected the style to the tradwife movement and the toxic aspects of it. I know tradwives get sexualized but that is not usually the case on the parts of the internet I see so I didn't immediately connect tradwife with oversexualization-- although I know that's not the only layer you wanted to discuss about that subtopic. I feel the point might have been made more clear by further discussing the people that use hyperfemininity as a tool for attention and feed off of it like certain adult video models and infliuencers. That part missing is what might make it feel like you're only addressing young women that dress like a "girly girl". Maybe a part 2 might be a good way to clarify your main points?
Either way, love your videos, Toni!
18:13 THIS IS SO ADORABLE!! the little twirl !!!
So many people in these comments getting mad for no reason 😭
I haven’t finished watching the video yet but this video is so good! And something I want to point out is how I most notably have noticed that this aesthetic seems to be most popular amongst white women and also comes from white people.
With that being said, there is a type of femininity preferred amongst white people and I believe this is why you notice most often that the people playing into this aesthetic are white women/adjacent because they are aware of what their culture of men tend to prefer. In contrast, I realize that most often Black girls are sexualized at young ages for their physical features, etc. where as SOME white women seem to infantilize themselves as they age because they know that it’s their currency as adults.
And I would also like to point out that I am not saying that Black women do not like pink or bows etc. or that liking these things means you are infantilizing yourself. HOWEVER, I do recognize as a Black woman that even our preferred image of femininity is very different from white women’s.
I would love for this to be discussed further in more depth because i’m really starting to realize that a lot of white women’s ideals of femininity have been shaped by patriarchy and white supremacy and that a lot of them, no matter how feminist they claim to be still play into the patriarchy and white supremacy.
I agree. White* women are infantilised in *stark* contrast to how black girls are seen as older- I forget the damn word, maybe "adultified", but the idea made sense to me. And it sounded scarier in many ways. It's painful but necessary to learn the blind spots & failures of white feminism, & white women generally. If I'm unknowingly playing into patriarchy & white supremacy, in ways I can't see cos I'm white, I want to know so I can stop it. I have a _vague_ feeling about white women maybe wanting to appear fragile & in need of protection, & that certainly has some horrible white supremacist baggage, but I don't know- as you said, further discussion would be good.
(*I think Asian women are infantilised too, especially if they're East Asian, but obviously that's different).
clock it
The cottage core/coquette aesthetic is French European in origin and white women are European. It’s really not that deep. Every race and culture has their style and that’s ok. We Jamaicans enjoy earthy looks which can be sensual but has nothing to do with patriarchy but just embracing our feminine and divine energy. Again, it’s not that deep.
No, nobody is misunderstanding you were just not clear enough at all
Hearing women being "domesticated" like cats and dogs being domesticated sounds unsettling.
I think Brigitte Bardot is the OG Coquette which is influencing this aesthetic. She was grown tho - and not infantilized. Rather, lace, satin and frills are weaponized post childhood to affect the world around you. Not to be a trad wife.
Im someone who has recently been dipping my toes into coquette and its all for myself. I love the style and i feel so cute and feminine in it. I just wear it when i want to be more femme for the day! Men should stop ruining everything nice
I will never understand why everything the woman does has to be connected back to the mindset of a man, or some weirdo…
@@bluud6 yeah... when i wear oversized hoodies and edgy clothes its 'youre not going to attract a man this way' and when i dress like this its suddenly just for those men... we should all dress for ourselves only
I just wanted to add that “coquette” (or “coquet”) is not se*ual at all in french (it means that someone cares about their looks, not superficial), I know the style was created in english-speaking spaces but still, right now the word is never used that way
Since I’m french I’m not sure I wrote everything wright but I hope you guys get the idea
" y'all dont want women, y'all want children "
Here’s my take, I do agree that it is very problematic to act childish/dress childish in a sexualized manner, and I have seen some of that In certain styles, but it’s everywhere, not just in coquettes. But I what I disagree with is the statement that dressing more traditionally feminine means that you are doing that. I feel as though some modern feminists have gone way to restrictive by trying to demonize woman for making more traditional choices. If a woman chooses to become a girl-boss and start her own business, that amazing, we should support that, if a woman chooses a more traditional lifestyle, we should also support that. I don’t believe it’s wrong if women decide to be more feminine or more masculine, it’s their choice.